#People often forget Karen can draw pretty well

[starkholme]

Oh but the amazing multi-talented tall blonde with a dead brother also has my heart

[potpourrifandoms]

Do you ever plan to do more of chibi Warhammer drawings? I like those fun little shenanigans.

Especially the Poshmarines.

The Adorable Warhammer stuff? Oh, dude, I draw them all the time! I just kind of thought nobody liked them, so I don't post them anymore. They feel very silly. 😅

But, here are some of my random doodles! To peruse at your leisure.

Poshmarines (and a swolemarine) actually doing their jobs for once...

The Poshmarines' mascot is a goose named Petunia. She's very lovely and quite the opposite of their polite, posh, gentlemanly-ness. She craves violence in the name of The Emperor!! Also, the Poshmarines hang out with the T'au Ethereal Oracle, who lives amongst the tea plantations on Paxona Prime. He's weird, but he likes tea, so they get along well enough.

More doodles here 👇

Commander Dignified, Commissar Owo, and Inquisitor Paperwork often feature prominently in my doodling. They have a fun bestie-group thing going. And yes, Owo's real name is Roderick "Rory" Reginald-Bartholemew. I thought it'd be funny if he had a name he couldn't pronounce- sorry, "pwonounce" :3

Dignified and Owo are perfectly capable of doing their actual jobs, but seeing as most of the xenos and cultists on Paxona Prime seem more interested in sitcom shenanigans than any warmongering, the opportunities to fight are few and far between.

Paperwork enjoys doing his job, too, but as an administrator, that doesn't mean much fighting. Luckily he has Servitor Paperweight to keep an eye on him when he gets too caught up to take breaks.

Commissar Owo has an unfortunate admirer in the form of Slaaneshi cultist Seductive, though her seductions are not as seductive as she seems to believe, and Owo remains thoroughly un-seduced.

Speaking of cultists, Genestealer Cultist Teeth and their roommate, Khorne Cultist Blood, get up to lots of crazy hijinks, too. Mostly bickering with each other or doing their best to avoid Nurgle Cultist Hypochondriac, who lives across the hall from them in the same apartment building.

Genestealer Cultist Teeth's worst enemy is Sister Karen, who likes to act like a total Karen at the grocery store where they work. Luckily they have manager powers and a third arm with claws, so she's pretty easy to shoo away.

Cryptid Bob, who lives as a stowaway on an Aelderi Craftworld, often utilises his latent psyker powers to cause problems for the hapless Eldar who are still struggling to find him and send him back to the Imperium of Man (one of his powers is that people forget seeing him almost as soon as they look away from him, so he can have full conversations with the Eldar and then slip away when they're distracted and they won't remember to catch him).

My favourite character to draw, though, is the humble T'au Merchant, Por'La Det'ermined.

Aha! Had you fooled, didn't I? He's actually an Ambassador!

Aha, fooled you again!! He's actually actually a T'au Super Spy!!! He mostly just spends his days chilling in the marketplace on Paxona Prime, though, handing out Greater Good pamphlets to anybody who'll take them. There's not a lot of badass espionage to be done on a planet as silly as this... :/

[rainbownixie]

adhd mike headcanons?

i love this so much <33 adhd mike is so important to me!!

when he hyperfocus on writing he can't focus on anything else and he often forgets there's people around him. will often stays by his side when that happens because he loves to draw mike without him noticing <3

it's so so so hard for him to write sometimes. like- he gets distracted by EVERYTHING and he often procrastinates. he goes to nancy's room to annoy her, he eats out of boredom, he calls lucas out of nowhere only because he can... did he forget to tidy his room?? LET'S DO IT NOW. he's only able to focus whenever will's around, because having someone else working next to him (drawing, in this case) makes him want to focus on his work too.

he has an hyperfixation on dnd!! and i'm sure it seems pretty obvious but i like to think about him rambling about the campaigns and his characters and stories and the music they could use while they play! he's so so into dnd and won't stop talking about it.

he's always late to everything. they have to meet at 5? he gets there at 6 because he either forgot or he thought he had enough time to get ready in 10 minutes, when he actually ended up getting distracted and it took him like 1 hour. dustin goes to his house to pick him up ever since that one day when he absolutely forgot about them.

he can't do ANYTHING if there's noise around him. hearing nancy or his mom talk on the phone is like ten thousand nails on his ears. he gets easily distracted so it frustrates him when he can't do anything about the noise, and that causes a lot of meltdowns. he can't even think when there's people talking or music around him.

the last point is why he often doesn't sleep. not because he just can't (that too, he has a lot of energy at night) but because at night his house is way more silent and calmer. so he spends the whole night awake doing his own stuff in the basement and then he falls asleep around 6am. karen is always worried about his health tbh

he gets frustrated when people interrupt him or don't pay attention to what he's saying. conversations are really hard for him because he feels the need to talk all the time but ofc others need to talk too. he doesn't get annoyed at them or anything, but it makes him upset. will loves hearing him speak for hours tho

he struggles reading long books, and he hates it because i have this hc that he likes stephen king and the poor boy wants to read his long ass books but it's really hard for him

i don't think he's a bad student, i actually think he's pretty smart. but he gets distracted and bored easily in class. especially because he seats next to will and behind dustin/lucas and they're just- so easy to talk to in the middle of class. he only focuses in english class or in mr.clarke's (that man always keeps him focused with his excitement and teaching methods).

he struggles so much expressing himself out loud. there are just too many thoughts in his head and he gets so frustrated when he can't just say what he's thinking. they always have to wait for him to stop stuttering, breathe in, and organize his thoughts before he says anything. that's why he loves writing and dnd, it's the only time where he can express himself easily.

he gets overwhelmed pretty easily so people touching him is a big no-no. that's why he's the one initiating physical contact with will

god he hates watching a movie without talking. whenever the party has a movie night, they have to get ready to hear him ramble for hours about every little scene. will loves it, btw.

he can't sit down correctly and won't stop moving and stimming. when the party hangs out together to chill he always ends up standing up and walking around the room. if he sits down, he prefers the floor rather than a chair or a couch.

he's pretty much exhausted and tired most of the time because he doesn't really sleep well and needs constant serotonin. people think he's rude and boring but you just have to give the boy something to do.

don't ever give that boy money because he doesn't how to spend it correctly and always acts impulsively and buys shit he doesn't actually want

random hc but he bites will. like, lovingly bites will. he goes MUNCH and he bites his hand or arm or cheek. it's his way to show love, okay

he feels so bad for forgetting stuff about will :( like forgetting dates and stuff. however, he always remembers little things and fun facts about him and it always makes will happy

dustin is always the one to realize he's bored so he always talks to mike and gives him stuff to work with when they're just chilling

lucas will always remind him to eat because he forgets to do it. often.

mike isn't rude or mean, he just takes criticism badly and that's why he speaks impulsively and says stuff he doesn't really mean

the only one who understands what he's saying when talking fast is max because she pays attention to every word without even noticing

el understands him perfectly when he's having a meltdown, and she's basically the only one besides will who can calm him down

his room and the basement are a fucking mess but he gets frustrated and annoyed whenever karen fixes them. he has his own way of organizing stuff

i... projected A LOT on mike. thanks for this ask!!! it makes me so happy really <3

[ctrsara]

Rash Decisions

Read on AO3

@comfortember #9 A Day Out #12 Concern

“What makes you think that’s going to keep anyone from recognizing you?” Peter asked his mentor with a flat look. “Plus, it’s not even that cold outside today.”

Tony Stark was decked out in a nondescript gray hoodie, a dark blue slouch beanie, and sunglasses. “It works every time, Pete.”

“I just don’t see why we have to go anywhere, anyway,” Peter almost whined. “I have homework. Or I should be working on those college applications.”

“I’m worried about you, kid, and so is your aunt.” 

Peter looked annoyed. “Why?”

“You’ve been moping around all week, not eating enough, and generally kinda quiet and grouchy. We’re going out.”

Peter obediently put his coat on, but rolled his eyes and huffed through the process. 

They stepped out the front doors of Stark Tower (after drawing a few very confused looks from the security team and receptionists as they exited the VIP elevator) and Tony started walking. “Where are we even going, Mr. Stark?”

“Central Park. You could use some fresh-ish air and nature. Crap like that.”

“That’s like a twenty minute walk!” Peter objected, stopping in his tracks.

“Well, better put a little pep in your step, Spiderling, or it’s going to be a long afternoon.”

Peter rolled his eyes again, but his scowl had an amused tilt to it. It was a little entertaining to see his mentor tapping into the more playful parts of his personality. And, other than the goatee (which was a little less carefully manicured than usual, thankfully) he kind of did look more like a homeless person than like Tony Stark right now. Or maybe an eccentric uncle. Peter huffed what just might have been a laugh and hurried after the man, who hadn’t even checked behind him to see if Peter was coming. He probably needed to at least keep an eye on him to make sure no one tried to mug him.

They arrived at Central Park in good time, and having reached his destination, Tony slowed down and started positively strolling along the sidewalks, hands clasped behind his back. Peter eyed his sudden change of pace doubtfully but matched his speed.

“So, tell me what’s going on.”

“Huh?” Peter wiped his hands on his jean pockets awkwardly.

“Why are you moping around this week? Did you and Ned have a fight? Did you forget to renew your Star Wars fan club annual registration?”

He was ridiculous. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Did you get a ‘B’ on a test?” 

“No.”

“Have you been hacking Karen and doing something I don’t know about?”

Peter sighed and shook his head.

“Was someone mean to you on patrol?”

“Tony.”

“Did you have a fight with Michelle?”

Silence.

“Ah.” 

Peter glared at the ground, hands stuffed firmly in his coat pockets as they walked.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“But maybe you should, bud. I know I’m not the best at relationships,”

Peter scoffed, and bumped the older man’s shoulder with his own. “You’ve had your moments, but you and Pepper are doing pretty well.”

“But, I can listen, and it sounds like you probably need to talk,” he continued, as if Peter hadn’t spoken.

Peter walked in silence for a few minutes. Tony, for once, kept his mouth shut and gave him a few minutes.

“She’s mad at me because I told her we should break up.”

Tony stopped, and Peter had to stop, too, or leave him behind. “Do you want to break up with her?”

“Of course not. But we had that scare last week where it seemed like my identity was going to get out, and it made me think. If it did, and she was my girlfriend at the time, it would put her in danger.”

It was Tony’s turn to roll his eyes. “So, are you gonna to stop hanging out with Ned, so people don’t think you’re friends? Gonna move out of May’s apartment, so she’s a less obvious connection?” 

Peter looked solidly at Tony in a way that was very much not a “no.”

Tony squared his shoulders and got that look on his face. “Peter Benjamin Parker, don’t you dare start making idiotic decisions for other people based on fear.”

Peter’s eyes widened. Tony didn’t often speak to him that way. He wasn’t yelling, but it was just a notch or two below, and it made him take a step back. Then he narrowed his eyes. “It’s my decision, Tony.”

“Kind of. In a relationship, you’re only half of the decision. And you can’t just decide to cut people out of your life because they might be in danger because of you.”

Peter knew he probably had a stubborn look on his face, but he was trying, really trying, to think about what Tony said. He started walking again, as if he could walk away from the possibilities that scared him so much. “But Mr. Stark, what if something does happen to her, because of me?”

“Pete, that could be true in any relationship. We can’t control all the outcomes, and you’ll just drive yourself, and everyone else, crazy trying to do it.”

Peter sighed, and Tony reached over and hooked his arm around Peter’s shoulders, squeezing gently. 

“And if your identity did get out, we have plans in place, kid. There are things we can do, for your aunt, for your friends, and for you, to help protect you. It won’t just be a free-for-all, bud, and you won’t be on your own. I promise.

Peter stopped walking, and Tony stopped with him. Peter turned into the older man, hugging him tightly, then stepping back while sniffing a little bit and wiping at his eyes.  

“How did you do it? How did you not just worry all the time about someone trying to hurt, or take Pepper, Morgan, or even Rhodey?”

“Or even you?” Tony was looking at him that soft way that he never understood, but really liked.

“You worry about someone taking me?”

“That, or hurting you.”

“But I’m Spiderman!”

“All the more reason to worry. You’re more of a target. Should I try to make you stop being Spiderman, or make you stop seeing me because I worry about people targeting you as Peter or as Spidey, because both of you can be connected to me?”

“That’s ridiculous.”

“Is it?” Tony eyed him, then started walking forwards again.

Peter sighed again. “Fi-i-ine. I will try to stop worrying about it so much. But I might want to see those plans you were talking about, if someone did figure it out.”

“Of course, Pete.” Tony squeezed his shoulder again as they walked. He picked his phone up and sent a text message. “Now, if you think you’re ready to revisit that conversation, there’s a certain young lady who’d like to talk to you. Apparently she’s had a crappy week, too, and she was hoping this conversation would go the way it did.”

“What? MJ asked you to talk to me? I thought you didn’t know why I was upset.”

“I didn’t. She didn’t give me any information; just asked me to talk some sense into you. She left me to flounder through the rest on my own.”

“Yeah, that sounds about right,” Peter said, grinning at the path in front of them as they walked. 

“Well, she’s right over there,” Tony said, stopping Peter by his arm and pointing at a park bench in the distance.

Peter sighed nervously. “Here goes nothing.”

“You’ve got this kid. This time, listen to her, instead of telling her what you think is best for her, okay? That never works out, I promise.”

Peter grinned. “Right. Wish me luck.”

“You don’t need it. She seems pretty crazy about you.”

[hawkinsindiana]

we’re safe now

ALMOST PARADISE: PART TWO - CHAPTER TWELVE OF FIFTEEN

pairing: steve harrington x henderson!reader

word count: 3.3k

a/n: ahhh i’m sorry this is coming a week late! but i really appreciate everyone being patient while i sort out all the issue with my health. luckily, i’ll be able to post the next chapter next week so we’re back on schedule! again, i can’t thank you all enough for the support and overwhelming love i’ve received recently, so this is for you guys <3

masterlist

Almost two weeks have passed since that night. You’ve been counting the days like some twisted tally, unable to stop reminding yourself of the events that occurred. It bothers you to no end - why you can’t seem to get them out of your head.

The nightmare certainly isn’t helping you cope.

You can’t recall all of the details; you just remember how it felt when your body jolted, how your fingers rushed to grab the smooth grip of the pipe resting beneath your bed - until you realized it was only your subconscious mind playing tricks.

That shadow cast by your dresser wasn’t Billy Hargrove. 

It’s only been five days, but sleep has eluded you ever since.

It seems that everyone’s already moved on. Their lives haven’t stopped or slowed down by what happened. Even Will’s adjusted well, or as well as can be expected. Every little bit of progress is like ten steps in the right direction for the Byers’ boy.

“Hey-” The eraser on the end of Steve’s pencil jabs you in the arm, bringing your scrambled thoughts back to reality - back to him.

“What d’you think about ten? A or D?”

Your eyes drift from Steve, sitting in the chair beside yours, to the worksheet on the table. You’d completely forgotten about it - the pen in your hand had been drawing circles absently onto the paper.

“I, uh-” You clear your throat, gaze bouncing between the four questions you managed to answer, “I didn’t get there yet.”

Steve scoffs as he leans over to take a look; he doesn’t believe a word of it. You always get through these faster than him. But when he realizes that you haven’t flipped to the second page, a touch of worry settles in his stomach.

“Jesus, Henderson. Where’s your head at?”

Steve asks it like it’s a joke. You don’t know if you appreciate or despise the delivery.

On one hand, you’re happy that he feels lighter than you do. Your troubled mind is thankful for the levity it desperately needs. 

But then again, you don’t feel like you’re really here - you think you could just fall right through the floor, forever destined to drown in these emotions.

Dustin says that’s typical until the concussion wears off; but you’re not concerned about physical trauma.

You reply to Steve just as the bell rings, marking the end of the school day.

“Well, uh… the kids wanna get together tonight, but now that there’s so many of ‘em, Karen won’t let them hang at the Wheeler’s. Mike’s been on my ass to help find a spot.”

That’s not a lie - it has been on your mind. Mike has been bugging you about it, desperate to spend more time with El now that she’s returned. That’s cute and all, just as long as you’re not being dragged into it.

Steve’s brow creases before grabbing your bag from the back of your chair. He swings it over his shoulder, carrying his own books by his side; until your hand heals, you’re not going to have to lift a finger.

“Why can’t you just have it at your place?” 

“Not enough room for them all to stay over,” You respond, “Max and Mike refuse to sleep on the floor. We only have one couch.”

As soon as the pair of you step out into the crowded corridor, your eyes catch the snide glances in your direction.

It didn’t take long before people started to figure out what happened.

The injuries that litter your faces were quickly connected to Billy’s split knuckles - which he’s been showing off proudly. To no one’s surprise, it sparked a whole array of rumors. 

Don’t forget the shocking twist that Nancy Wheeler showed up to class with Jonathan Byers on her arm, prompting even more whispers and speculation. Needless to say, it’s been a rough couple of weeks at Hawkins High for you both.

But as soon as you’re free from the fluorescent lights and greeted with autumn’s crisp afternoon breeze, peace starts to settle in. 

“They could hang out at my place.”

Steve’s comment causes you to spin around and stop in your tracks. Your confused expression meets his plain one; he simply shrugs, not acknowledging your reaction, “You know, if they wanted to.” 

He continues on, brushing past you on his way towards the parking lot before you pick up the pace.

“Wait, seriously?” You question after coming to Steve’s side, baffled that he would offer such a thing, “You know that you don’t have to do that, right?”

Steve chuckles a bit, amused by your tone and the shock you radiate, “What, it’s not like anybody’s using it anyways. My parents won't get back until late Sunday night.”

“Are you sure you know what you’re getting yourself into, Harrington?” You add after approaching the passenger’s side of his car, “They’re even worse when the world’s not at stake.”

“I’m pretty sure I can handle it,” Steve replies, tossing your belongings into the back seat. He shuts the door before opening yours. A touch of concern floods his mind, “Wait, you’re coming too right?”

You fold your arms over your chest; a small smirk curls your mouth upwards, “I thought you could handle it.”

“Well, you know… there are six of ‘em-”

“Relax!” You laugh, shoving Steve lightly. The action makes you realize that you hadn’t noticed how close he’d gotten - it makes your heart skip a beat. He mirrors your bright smile as you finish, “Of course I’ll be there. I’m not that cruel.”

—

One word. That’s all it took to convince them. Dustin, on the other hand, was on board with the idea as soon as you mentioned it.

The door chime rings once, then seven more times before Steve finally swings open the front door. He’s met with Max’s smug grin, pointer finger pressed against the doorbell. 

Steve frowns when she doesn’t let up - the annoying sound still echoes through the house. Just as he’s about to tell her to quit it, Lucas slaps her hand away; the action earns him a prompt shove on the arm.

“I heard there was a pool,” Max says. 

Her overnight pack is slung over her shoulder, sunglasses perched on the bridge of her nose. The group is huddled onto the step, all carrying their belongings with them.

“Uh, yeah,” Steve steps back, pulling the door back with him, “Down the hall, take a left-”

“I’ll find it. Come on guys.”

The girl pushes forwards, with Lucas and Will pursuing closely behind her. Mike and El follow soon after - El’s hand is wrapped tightly around his elbow.

Steve starts to grow concerned when he doesn’t see you or your brother. Maybe you ditched him to go hang out with Hargrove. 

He hates that he thought that. Of course you wouldn’t. It still bothers him though, why you said yes.

But then Steve hears your bickering cut through the chilly November breeze, and he can’t help the warmth that spreads through his chest. 

“Here, take this-”

“No! I’m not carrying your shit!”

The corner of Steve’s mouth curls up at your tone. He hopes he gets used to your arguments - god knows he doesn’t want to lose either of you.

And then he thinks about what was admitted that night. That maybe things would be better if he realized how happy you make him.

That he’s happier when he’s with you than he was with Nancy.

That scares him. He doesn’t know why.

—

Max couldn’t get into the pool fast enough; she was still wearing one of her socks when she drove in. She quickly found out it wasn’t deep enough to do so.

“I still can’t believe you convinced Hop to let her come,” Steve mutters, approaching your side before passing you a can of Coke.

As much as you might wish it was something stronger, you’re not sure you’d like to be tipsy around any of the kids. Who knows what secrets could spill.

Steve gestures to El, who’s perfectly content just dipping her toes into the warm water; you taught her how to roll her jeans into tight, clean cuffs as to not get her clothes wet. She watches the others throw around a foam football, clapping anytime someone catches it successfully - which isn’t often.

You shrug a bit and gladly accept the drink, “As soon as he heard I would be there, he was fine with it. You know, I’m trustworthy.”

Steve’s standing a little too close - his arm brushes yours every few moments. Every touch has been amplified since you felt the undeniable electricity; any nudge or tap makes your heart rate pick up, no matter how small.

Steve doesn’t get to reply, Will’s pass just misses Mike’s hand; the ball bounces against the concrete before landing against the fence on the other side of the yard.

You sigh while sending a nasty glare to the boys, setting down your soda, “Wait, I’ve got it.”

Steve chuckles as you walk over, waving off their excuses and holding conversation; he can’t hear the banter over the radio that’s blasting the hits. And then something comes to mind, something you’d hate. 

He kneels down next to El - her curls bounce as she turns her head to him. Steve keeps his voice low, eyes bouncing between you and the young girl, “I’ve got an idea.”

“Mike, you missed a perfectly good shot!” You say, siding with Will in the argument. 

“Thank you!” He exclaims, “At least somebody notices talent around here.” He smiles when you send him a sly wink and a thumbs up.

Mike’s words stutter as he attempts to defend himself, “My-my hands are WET! We’re in a POOL! It’s not my fault!” He’s motioning wildly now, splashing water around as he speaks.

You start to approach the water’s edge, spinning the ball between your fingers as you answer, “Yeah, tell that to the other thirty times you miss-”

As soon as you come close enough to the pool, you’re pushed a few feet forward, limbs flailing rapidly in surprise. A wave cascades over the group as you land in the water, quickly drenching them and turning Dustin and Lucas into sputter messes; they can’t tell if they’re coughing or cackling.

Once your head comes up from the surface, Steve and El’s laughter grabs your attention. Steve offers his hand for a high-five, which she eagerly returns, “Nice job, kid - that was awesome!”

You brush your hair away from your face and begin blinking rapidly to rid it from your eyes, “You two are so gonna get it!”

“It was Steve’s idea,” El replies between giggles, to which the boy in question deflects the blame, “Wha- you’re the one who did it!” 

“What the hell was that?!”

“Oh come on, that was funny!” Steve answers your outburst, relishing the moment that came before, “You should’ve seen the look on your face, Henderson. Absolutely priceless.”

The frown you have cracks a bit at his joy. It’s hard to not let his infectious happiness influence you. The water’s deep enough to come up to your chest as you wade over to the pair of them, “But now my clothes are all wet! These are my good jeans!”

Steve exhales, feeling a bit of guilt wash over him at your whining, “Alright fine. I’ll help you up, come here.”

But as soon as Steve’s fingers wrap around your bicep, yours tighten on his wrist - Dustin would recognize your mischievous expression anywhere.

“Wait, Steve-”

Your brother’s comment comes too late, because you’ve already yanked Steve in too. Another splash covers the kids; Lucas wipes water from his cheeks, “Oh, come on!”

“There. Now we’re even,” You add as Steve combs his hair back. It sticks up in chunks in random places, making your mouth curl up in a smirk.

“I guess I deserved that,” Steve coughs as he pulls his soaked sweater from his skin, before turning to you when a laugh bubbles from your throat.

“You should’ve seen your face, Harrington.”

There’s a pause before Steve responds. He’s overwhelmed by your actions, how that glint in your eyes makes his heart flutter, makes him speechless for the first time in a long time.

Instead he lunges, an arm wrapping loosely around your waist to pull you closer, only to splash more water in your face. 

“You’re so dead!” You shout before pushing Steve back underneath the water, but his hold strengthens, pulling you down with him briefly before popping up again. 

There’s a moment that occurs right after breaking the surface. 

Your hand comes to rest on Steve’s shoulder, the fabric of his clothes twist in your fist as your gazes meet. Heat crawls up your neck when his palm slides over your back, and his focus is drawn to your lips. 

God, he could kiss you right now. 

But he’s still in love with Nancy. And nothing about this is fair to you.

Then the realization hits - the kids are still here. 

“I’ll uh-“ Steve clears his throat, moving himself away as you drop your hand. When his touch finally leaves you, the exhale you were holding releases into the sky, suddenly expelled from your lungs.

Steve nods once, a somber manner about him, “I’ll find you something dry to wear.”

You swallow harshly as the feelings start to settle; your stomach aches. Turns out that things between you and Steve weren’t going as well as you thought they were.

Maybe what he said didn’t mean anything. Maybe he’s just confused. Maybe he’s just using you as a way to get over his heartache.

You feel like you could throw up.

You’re barely able to look at the kids, who are all staring silently in your direction, puzzled by what they just witnessed.

“If you guys need anything, I’ll be inside,” You say softly before hoisting yourself up on the metal ladder.

Lucas is the first to speak once you’ve retreated inside.

“Alright, please tell me we all saw that?”

—

You can’t sleep. Not that you’re surprised, you weren’t expecting to.

You just hate how this feels - uncertainty and fear don’t mix well inside your brain.

Even if everything is shitty, at least your relationship with Steve seemed to be better. Or maybe that’s just wishful thinking. 

But you can only lie here and listen to Max’s light snores for so long; you need some fresh air. Turns out, you’re not the only person with the same desire.

It’s your voice that draws Steve’s attention.

“You know, the last person out here alone got snatched up, Harrington.”

He can’t help the small smile that spreads over his face at the sight of you, standing there wrapped up in one of his mother’s expensive throws; the hood from his sweatshirt pops out a bit at the top, helping to keep you toasty. 

“Oh yeah? You got a death wish, Henderson?”

You go silent for a moment, hesitating with your response - your exhausted brain can’t seem to come up with a reply. The mixture of the cool November air and the heat that rises from the pool washes over you in waves. It makes your body desperately wish that it could relax.

“No, no I don’t,” You finally reply, moving to sit down next to the water’s edge, “Not yet, anyways.” 

Steve grows confused at your answer. It’s not at all what he expected you to say. He waits a few seconds, pondering his options before deciding to join you. 

His skin tears slightly at the contact with the rough concrete, his eyes are cast towards the ground. 

Your breathing begins to steady once Steve takes a seat by your side, leg pressed to yours. You feel better having him here - you don’t like being alone anymore.

“I can’t sleep either,” He says.

You don’t even have to mention it; he recognizes that look on your face, the desperation for a hint of rest. But he doesn’t know if that’s because he’s still reeling from the harrowing experiences, or if it’s because Nancy’s not there next to him anymore.

“Will went missing about half a block from here,” Steve continues, “It still freaks me out to think about that.”

“There’s a street light right outside my window,” You add, picking at a loose string on your pajama bottoms, “Nine times out of ten I think it’s that thing. And I know that there’s no way it could be...”

You sniffle after trailing off; Steve shifts his gaze to you, watching as you peer out over the calm and quiet landscape, “But that doesn’t stop my mind from imagining it.”

Steve doesn’t know what to say to that. He wishes that he had known about this sooner. Maybe he could’ve helped you move on.

He wants to keep you talking. He hopes that would help you, but he doesn’t want to cross any boundaries. 

That was never something he thought about before. But juggling with these new feelings about you has him reconsidering everything about your friendship. He doesn’t want to make anymore mistakes; you don’t deserve that.

“How are you holding up otherwise?” Steve asks.

Your brow furrows as you hold your hands in your lap, grimacing at the sight of your healing bones. There’s no wonder why you haven’t been able to adjust - a constant reminder is always in sight. 

Your chest heaves as a warm breath expels into the air, “I just… I can’t get rid of that feeling.”

“Which one?” Steve’s eyes are now on your face, studying you softly. The lights from beneath the pool’s surface gloss over your features - it’s absolutely mesmerizing. 

“I’m still so scared, Steve,” You gulp, gaze trained on the water ahead, “I’m so scared that something’s gonna happen again.”

“Eleven closed the gate,” He says, “We’re safe now.” 

You shake your head slightly, pulling the blanket closer to your chilled frame, “That’s not what scares me.”

You don’t need to continue for Steve to understand. He can’t imagine what’s been running through your mind, although your behavior from the past few weeks is starting to make more sense.

A light dusting of purple and blue still covers your jawline. God, how he wishes he could wipe it all away, forget that ever happened, forget that it’s his fault you’re burdened with the memory of that night. He didn’t do enough. 

Maybe if he had, you would have been spared.

“I’m terrified of what he did to you.”

Steve’s admission hangs in the air for a moment. He almost grows embarrassed of it, but being vulnerable doesn’t scare him as much as it did. 

He’ll never be able to get that image out of his head. You, bruised and bloodied at Billy’s mercy - he sees it when he closes his eyes at night.

You don’t know what to feel at his words, you just know that it makes your heart race. You don’t think you’ve ever had someone say anything like that to you before. 

Steve’s forehead creases when he feels your fingertips brush his knuckles, still tender from trying to beat Hargrove senseless.

He adjusts to intertwine your hands, feeling a sudden wave of relief come over him as your palms press together. Then, somehow you’re both inching even closer, head resting on his shoulder as it becomes painfully clear.

He knows why he was scared before. Because this, this feels real. 

“It took me a while to get over her too,” You say, voice just above a whisper, “She has a way with people, you know.”

Steve doesn’t understand how you can make something sound both emotionally heavy and soft at the same time. 

His lips are pressing a kiss to your temple soon after - reassurance that he’ll be here for you. You squeeze his hand tighter in response, closing your eyes as the anxiety dulls.

“Yeah, I know.”

—

taglist: @stevebabey​ / @mrs-skywalker​ / @hannarudick​ / @crazycookiecrumbles​ / @hellisateenageheather​ / @alewifex​ / @l0ve-0f-my-life​ / @naomiiiiiiiiiii04​ / @daddystevee​ / @thecaptainsgingersnap​ / @let-the-imaginationflow​ / @asianravenpuff​ / @im-a-stranger-thing​ / @mikariell95​ / @pilunb​ / @harringtherin​ / @royalestrellas​ / @ultrunning​ / @buggs177 / @poutfull​ / @yoheyyosup​ / @duchessdaisybat​ / @janieavalos / @sassisaluxury​ / @beththebubbly​ / @i-bitch-you-bitch​ / @captainstilinskis​ / @juliebean247​ / @im-nada / @whatabeautifulsurrender​ / @rexorangecouny​ / @pass-me-jeez-it​ / @ahoy-scoops-troop​ / @halefirewarrior​ / @jointhehunt67 / @wallacetdog​ / @ketchuplukehemmo​ / @m-a-r-i-n-t-p / @fangirl485 / @emmegirl827 / @lookalivesunshine-x​ / @elite4cekalyma / @marjoherbo / @just-my-fandom / @idumpyourgrass​ / @alafolieee​​ / @mochminnie​ / @phantomalchemist​ / @dustyblueboo​ / @alonewolfsblog​ / @ggclarissa​ / @hufflepuffing-all-day-long​ / @bippityboppitybabe​

if you wanna be added to the taglist, just lemme know!

[mwdders]

Press day

Summary: On a long press day, you end up getting drunk and coming home with 3 new friends

Pairing: Tom Holland x reader

Warnings: Swearing, alcohol

Word count: 4K

Enjoy! This is UNEDITED so any mistakes, sorry

Requests are open; general requests and from my prompt list.

—

“Hi guys! Come in, take a seat.” The interviewer greets you as you smile politely and sit in a director’s style chair, there was one for each of you.

“Hi, how are you?” You ask the interviewer once you were all sat and comfortable. “Very well thank you, so nice of you to ask.” You smile widely and cross your hands over your lap.

“So today, we’re going to play a game, but first Y/N, Happy birthday!” You gasp, you’d been doing press all day and not one journalist or interviewer had wished you a happy birthday. “Oh my gosh! Thank you so much. No one else has said that to me yet.” She gasps, “I’m the first?” You nod, humming. “I feel privileged. Now what did you get for you birthday?” You laugh at her comment. “Erm not a lot really, I tell people not to bother. But Tom got me a gorgeous necklace.” She gushes as you pull the necklace out from under your top, it was a pandora personalised necklace, with a dog charm and spider charm. “Well with it being your birthday, we figured we’d celebrate,” your eyes light up as someone brings in a tray of shots. “Oh no. This is gonna get messy.” Zendaya says, “That’s the plan! We’re gonna play a Marvel quiz and for each question you get wrong, you drink a shot.” You nod understanding the game. “Everyone ready?” She picks up her question cards as Tom says, “No! We’re all gonna get so drunk cause none of us know anything about Marvel.” You giggle, “This is semi true, I know a bit more than the three of them though.”

“Let’s get started! You each have a buzzer and the first buzzer gets to answer. There are 10 questions.” You shuffle in your seat and get comfortable, buzzer in hand ready to win.

“Question 1, As of Avenger’s Infinity War, how many Iron Man suits has Tony Stark made?” Tom buzzes in first, “100?” You all laugh at him and he blushes, “Wrong. Anyone know it?” You buzz and answer the question, “50.” Tom huffs, “I was nearly there.” The interviewer adds a point to your tally, Tom, Zendaya and Jacob all taking a shot before continuing the questions.

“Name all 6 infinity stones.” You hit your buzzer first, “Space, Time, Power, Soul, Mind and Erm,” you pause to think, “No she can’t have time to think! 10 seconds.” Tom whines pressuring you, “I don’t know, ah,” the interviewer looks at her watch, “Times up.” You shake your head, “Fuck.” You mumble, “The last one was Reality.” You curse yourself, “I knew that. Damn it.” No one won that point so you all have a shot, the vodka burning your throat.

“The MCU is made up of phases, but what was the first film of phase 3?” You’re quick on the draw and press your buzzer, “I know this, it’s homecoming no?” She shakes her head and your mouth falls open, “Anyone else know?” Tom buzzes with a smug look, “It’s actually Civil War.” He grins at you as a point is added to his name. “Stop being so smug Holland.” You grumble and pick up another shot.

“Who did Tony Stark think Stan Lee was in his cameo in Iron Man?” Zendaya buzzes and has a guess, “Pretty sure it was Hugh Hefner.” She celebrates when the interviewer tells her she’s correct, “That always sticks in my mind and I don’t know why.” She shrugs and you giggle.

“Which marvel film did Thanos first make his appearance?” You go to press your buzzer but before you can Tom swats it out your hand, “Hey!” You yell, copying his actions knocking his across the room. “It’s me! I buzzed but this idiot knocked it out my hand.” You shove Tom and put your hand over his mouth so he can’t talk. “Go on then Y/N.” The interviewer laughs at your antics, “It’s The Avengers.” She nods, “Correct.” You’re tying with Tom 2-2 now and the dizziness of the shots and the competitive streak between the two of you was making the game interesting.

“Who plays the voice of Karen? The AI in Peter Parker’s suit?” Everyone stares at the lady, none of us knowing the answer, “I know this.” Everyone turns to face you, “No you don’t.” You nod, “I do.” He shakes his head, “You’re bluffing.” You raise an eyebrow and buzz in, “Is this for the win?” She shakes her head, “No there’s still a few questions after this one.” You place a hand on your chin and smile, “Ready for my answer?” Tom sighs and turns to you, “Spose So, you know it all.” You laugh as he puts an arm around your shoulder pulling you into him. “It’s Jennifer Connelly.” The interviewer nods her head quickly, “How did you know that?” Zendaya asks and you shrug, “I just do. I’m a genius.” You smirk at her. “Is she wearing a wire? Is she cheating?” Tom stands up and pulls you with him, he runs his hands down your arms and pulls off your jacket, looking for any evidence of a wirer. “I’m not cheating!” You giggle but keep your arms out like he put them, he carries on and checks your ears, “Babe,” you shove him away laughing as he gives you a wet willy, “That’s disgusting!” He laughs and pulls you in for a hug. “No, you’re gross.” You push him away and pout as you sit back down. “I think the alcohol is getting to everyone, let’s carry on.” The interviewer claps and Zendaya giggles.

“What did The Avengers eat after the battle of New York?” You buzz the same time as Tom and you turn to him, “It was me!” He shakes his head, “No way, it was me!” You both turn to the interviewer and unfortunately for you, she points at Tom, “I think he scraped it.” You groan, “Knew it! It was Shawarma.” He nods proud of himself and you roll your eyes, “I think for that, you do two shots.” You shake your head straight away, “Nope.” You pick up just one shot glass, and Tom picks up another one handing it to you, “Do it.” You shake your head, “No Tom.” You could already feel yourself getting buzzed and if you were to take anymore shots you’d be very drunk. “It’s your birthday! Do it.” He encourages and Zendaya and Jacob cheer a long with him. “I hate you all.” You take it from him and chuck it back. Everyone claps and cheers as they joke amongst each other.

“Okay so there is 4 shots left, if we do one more question, just for Y/N and Tom for the decider.”

“Which actor was the original War Machine?” Your eyes widen, you knew Tom would know this, “BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ.” Tom yells as well as pressing his buzzer, “Dude we get it.” You push his arm as he laughs, “It’s Terrence Howard.” He gets it right and you gulp, “Unlucky Y/N!” You put your head in your hands and mentally prepare yourself to take 4 shots.

“I’m ready.” You pick them up and drink them all, “Damn!” Jacob comments, “Shotting like a boss.” You laugh, you were well and truly drunk now. “Well guys thank you so much for today, it was so nice to have you with me and play a game.” The interviewer says, “You are welcome.” You point at the lady as you stand up, swaying a bit, “I’ll never forget this, the day you got Y/N drunk on a press day.” Tom laughs as he thanks her giving her a quick hug before wrapping an arm around you, steadying you to ensure you don’t fall. “Byyyyeeeee.” You drag out your words and you follow Tom as he pulls you out the room and into the corridor, “Darling don’t fall.” He says as you stumble in your heels. “Ohhh who cares, if I fall, I fall.” You giggle leaning on Tom’s back, “Are we done for the day? Can we go out?” He shakes his head and you enter a room where all your PR managers are waiting a long with Jake and Samuel Jackson, “I told that interviewer not to do this!” Dean your PR manager yells as he realises how drunk you are, “Oh lighten up Deano, it’s my birthday and imma have some fun.” You chuck your arms in the air, “Tom she’s your girlfriend so she’s your responsibility, sober her up before your next press junket.” You scowl, “Excuse me,” you point at Dean and then Tom, “He maybe my boyfriend but, he is not my keeper, don’t give him orders.” You slur your words a little, crossing your arms over your chest. “Y/N, you need to sober up, we have so much press today.” He yells at you, and you raise an eyebrow at him, “Don’t shout at me. It’s not my fault, that women played a game and I lost, it’s not a crime.” You shout, you were a giddy drunk but also an angry drunk so this wasn’t going to end well. “Drink coffee now.” He shoves a cup in your hand and you put it on the table, “No.” Everyone was watching your little argument, some trying to not laugh, others rolling their eyes. “Y/N I swear to God.” He picks the coffee back up and you stare at the cup.

“Drink it.” You shake your head, “Actually think I might go for a walk.” You completely ignore Dean and head towards the door, he shouts after you and you hear footsteps following you. “Can’t let you do that.” Tom grabs you, picking you up, instantly you wrap your arms around his neck. “Bye Dean, you’re a dick.” You shout as Tom walks out the room with you in his arms. “You’re going to get yourself in so much trouble.” He stares down at you trying not to smirk, “Don’t care.” That was another thing you did when you were drunk, you had no filter so you said what you wanted to and often got yourself in trouble.

He laughs, “What am I going to do with you?” He sighs and you shrug, “I don’t know, kiss me.” You joke giggling like a school girl. Tom enters a room that was empty, it was clearly set up for an interview though as chairs and cameras where everywhere.

“Darling, sit down.” He places you on your feet and you shuffle over to a chair, leaning back in it and closing your eyes. Tom crouches down in front of you, placing his hands on your thighs, “Look at me Y/N.” You open your eyes and look at Tom, leaning forward so your forehead is leaning against his. “I’m so drunk right now.” You break the silence and giggle.

“I know, will you stay here why I get you some water?” You shake your head, “Tommy don’t leave me.” You wrap your arms around his neck, placing your chin on his shoulder, his arms going around your hips. You pull back from him and stare at his face, “What?” You shake your head, “You’re just so gorgeous.” He’s still crouched between your legs so you put your hands on his cheeks, “You’re gonna make me blush.” He jokes, “That’s my intention.”

The confidence running through you, you lean forward and kiss him, hunger and desire running through your veins as your lips move with his, the kiss getting sloppy after a few minutes. “Love,” Tom says against your lips before pulling away, “Now is not the time.” He chuckles, you knew with your drunken state he wouldn’t take anything further, you may have wanted it but he wouldn’t take advantage of you like that. “I love you.” You tell him, still holding him close to you. “I love you too. But right now we have work to do.” He pulls you up and when you’re on your feet you lean into him and steal another quick kiss, “Let’s not go to work, let’s go back home and do what I really want to do on my birthday, watch films and have a lazy afternoon, that would definitely end in sex.” He laughs but blushes as you talk openly about your sex life.

“Sounds perfect darling but we can’t.” He pouts, you kiss his pout away, “Could always say the alcohol made me sick? I had to go home and you had to come with me.” He brushes some of your hair off your face, keeping his hand on your cheek, running his thumb across your smile lines, “We can’t leave love, we’re the stars of this film and if we leave we’ll have no promo.” You scrunch up your face, “Right.” You still weren’t sober enough really to carry on the day, “Come on, I’m pretty sure we have to move on soon.” He goes to walk away linking your fingers with his but you pull him back, kissing him again. “Can’t get enough of you.” You gasp against his lips as he deepens the kiss, his arms going around your waist, yours around his neck, playing with his hair, “A few more minutes won’t matter anyway.” You giggle as his hands slip to your bum, giving it a light squeeze, you pull at the baby hairs on his neck as a response causing him to groan, “Oh my god I’m sorry.” You quickly break the kiss looking in the direction of the voice.

Samantha, Zendaya’s PR manager was stood in the doorway, you cough awkwardly, “S’alright Sam.” She backs out of the doorway a little, “We need to leave now to the next interview.” She then scurries away, leaving you stood there with hot cheeks, “Oh no.” You laugh and soon Tom joins you, “She just caught us making out.” You bury your head in his neck as he gives your hip a light squeeze.

“You heard her. Let’s go.” You pull his arm back and he turns to you, “Carry me?” He sends you look, “Are you serious?” Your hands move further up his arm and stop when they reach his elbow, dragging him to you. “Please.” He sighs and turns around signalling for you to get on his back, you comply and jump, wrapping your legs around him as he grips your ankles. “Can’t believe I’m doing this.” He begins to walk over as you rest your head against his shoulder. “Everyone’s in the car, let’s go.” Dean hurries Tom a long as he meets you in the corridor.

As Tom walks out you’re blinded by lights and screams. “Tom! Y/N!” Fans and paparazzi yell but you just bury your head more and close your eyes, Tom waves at a few of them the best he can before he taps your calf signalling for you to get down, you drop your legs and after steadying yourself you slip into the car.

“Here she is! The drunk.” Jake says and you flip him off, “Shut up Jake or I’ll kick your arse.”

You slump in your seat and shut you eyes, Tom sit nexts to you, putting a hand on your thigh as you shift and rest your head on his shoulder.

“The drives about 40 minutes, why don’t you have a nap darling?” You nod, agreeing with him, it was a good idea because even though you were still drunk, you could feel yourself coming down and slipping into a grouchy mood.

— —

“So at this Buzzfeed event we’re going to do the puppy questions, you’re going to play with puppies while we ask you questions.” You’d arrived at the Buzzfeed offices and this was your last press of the day. “So let’s get started. If we have Tom and Y/N in one room, Zendaya and Jacob with Jake in another.” You follow the interviewer thoughts still a little foggy after waking up from the car.

“Baby come sit.” You jump and see Tom sat on the floor holding his arms out for you. You sit down with him and relax into his arms, the atmosphere was very relaxed and you knew everyone around you as you’d done a lot of press with Buzzfeed before so you didn’t mind being more forward with Tom around them or showing PDA.

One of the producers say something to you both and Tom’s listen, the door then opens and puppies come running in. “Oh my.” You say, as a little Labrador jumps into your lap. “They’re so cute.” You pick it up holding it out in front of you, it licks your nose and wags it’s little tail.

“Guys I’m gonna ask some questions now. Mostly about yourselves and the movie.” You nod too invested in tickling the puppies tummy.

“So you guys aren’t only together on screen but also off screen, how long have you been together now?” You don’t look up from the puppy drooling on your knee but you reply, “4 years.” Tom saying the same, “And what’s it like being romantic on and off screen?” A puppy to your left barks and you see Tom holding a Staffy and you melt, “It’s, oh wow, that puppy is adorable.” You pause what you were going to say and stare at Tom, “Are you trying to kill me? Like first you give us puppies but then you give us a Staffy puppy? I mean I’m a hundred percent sure that dog will be coming home with us.” You comment as Tom showers the small dog with kisses. “Can’t deny true love.” He holds the dog up to his cheek and you know there’s no going back, at least Tessa will have a new friend. “Guys, what’s easier? Filming and being on set, or doing press and promo?”

“Definitely filming, no offence but press can get boring, when you’re talking about the same thing again and again, it’s gruelling. But we enjoy it when like you guys, the press keep things interesting and you can’t get any better than puppies.” You giggle and pull the little puppy back into your lap, along with a french bull dog puppy.

“Now, Y/N at the end of Endgame we saw your character lose her dad, but get Peter back, how do you think that will affect her emotionally?”

“You’ll find out in this film, I can’t really say much but it obviously has a negative affect on her emotions and it really shows in this next instalment.” You wink at the camera, not giving too much away but enough to get the fans guessing.

The interviewer nods, “Last few questions, Y/N what’s one thing you like about being an MCU actress?” You ponder in thought for a second, “Definitely the togetherness of the group, we’re like a family and everyone loves everyone and it’s so nice.” You scratch behind the ear of the puppy, “Tom, what’s your life looking like for the next year? Up to anything?”

“I’ve got two more films coming out both animated but also Chaos Walking very soon when that comes out so very busy year, and hopefully squeeze in a holiday somewhere.” He looks over at you and you smile.

“Alright guys thank you.” You stand up still holding the two puppies, “Are these guys available? I was serious when I said I wanted them.” You turn to Tom who is still holding the small Staffy. “Erm babe we can’t take home 3 new dogs.” You scowl, “Why not?” You adjust your grip on the puppies, bringing them closer to you, “Because, Tess might get scared.” You raise an eyebrow, “Tess won’t, she loves other dogs. Look we either take all 3 or none at all.” He gasps when you say this, “But me and Angelo have bonded.” You scoff, “Angelo? You’ve already named him?” He nods, “Yes and he’s mine now.” He then walks out the room following the lady from the rescue kennel. “Thomas.” You hiss trying to run after him while carrying two puppies. “Tom!” You whine, he was ignoring you, “Darling.” He finally stops, “Yes?” He acts innocent. “Babe, it’s all 3 or none.” You say again, “Okay fine!” He gives in and you smile widely, trying to hold back tears. “Ar-are you crying?” Tom looks concerned and places a hand on your shoulder. “Yeah but it’s only because I love them so much and I can’t wait to take them home.” You sob and you can’t believe yourself. “I can’t believe I’m crying.” You accept his hug as he opens his arms, “I think you’re still a little drunk.” You nod, “Yeah me too.” You giggle, “Let’s go adopt these cuties and bring them home.”

— —

“Tessa!” You call for her as you enter the doors of your home. You had a puppy in one had and Tom was carrying the other two. “Hi darling.” Tom says as the Staffy comes rushing down the stairs jumping at your feet.

“Baby, this is Angelo, Maisy and Lightning.” You place Maisy on the floor, the small Frenchie allowing Tessa to sniff at her, then lick her. “That’s a good sign.” Tom places the other two on the floor, you’d decided to call the Labrador lightning because of how quick she was.

The introductions go well, Tessa accepting them all like they were her own puppies. “Today was eventful.” You say to Tom as you watch him play with the four dogs from your position on the bed. “You could say that, you got very drunk and now we have 4 dogs.” He chuckles, standing up and joining you in bed, “They’re like our children now. We have 3 new babies.” He laughs, “Are you still drunk?” You shake him off, “No darling.” His face drops and he falls into deep thought, he was lay facing you, leaning on his elbow so you could see his frown lines as he thinks. “What you thinking about?” You say, moving down the bed and resting your head on his pillow just to be close to him. “Us,” you brush hair off his forehead, “What about us?” He turns and looks at you, moving down the bed himself and settling into his pillow, “How I love you and how right now we’re perfect.” You giggle, “I love that today we had fight, but it was about bringing dogs home, if that’s what we’re going to fight about I’m so down for that, for the rest of my life.” He places a hand on your hip, running circles with his thumb, “I want to argue about dogs with you, forever.”

You keep your facial expression unreadable, “What are you saying?” He sighs, shutting his eyes for a second, “Marry me.” His eyes open ferociously and you blink at him, “I’m sorry, what?” He nods, “Yeah, marry me!” He says a little too loudly, “Please.” His cheeks turn pink and you blush too, “Tom are you-“ he stops you by kissing you, “Don’t ask me if I’m sure, don’t ask me if I’m rushing into it, just say yes, please. I love you and I have done for 5 years and I never want to lose you.” You sigh, “I-I,” He looks at you hopeful, “Yes, of course.” His smile is so wide from ear to ear as he jumps on you, hugging you, “I love you.” He rolls around the bed, keeping a tight grip on you as you laugh. “So much! I can’t believe we’re engaged.” He stops and sits up, “Shit, we’re engaged.” You laugh, “We sure are.” You kiss him and smile, this is not how you expected today to go, “Happy birthday darling.” Tom says against your lips, “I completely forgot it was my birthday.” You pull away from him and lie down on his chest, “I couldn’t ask for more, 3 new dogs and a fiancé.” You place a delicate kiss on his bare chest as he plays with your hair, “It can’t get any better.” You shut your eyes, listening to the steady sound of Tom’s heartbeat. “I mean it could.” You open one eye and look at him, “A baby.” You scoff and hit his chest, “Put a ring on it first mister.” You joke, “First thing tomorrow.” He comments and you just nod, feeling your eyes heavy. “Night my gorgeous fiancé.” You smile weakly, “Night.” You slip into a sleep, the happiest you’ve ever been.

—

Taglist: @melp1219 @memesmyselfandhate @marvelouspottering @coohlwhip @tastefulknife @vaultures-blog @just-a-littlebit-of-everything @helloitsmeamie203 @kiran1245 @augustnightsx @meowmeow230 @coffees-and-constellations @celebsimagines @myfanstories @myverysupersecretblog @heartblackerthancoffee @ijustwanttogotosleep99 @nicholasbich @magical-spit @littlegangrel @godohammers @sarcasticvodka @ilovebobdyeethaw @nerdypisces160 @joyofbebbanburg @jules12345678910 @lowkeysebby @ashleysomerhalder @sargent-barnes @nosoulnoproblems @jhangelface0523 @tiemeupspidey @sweetlysilent @sunshinehollandd @smallangryspider @avengersgroupchat @spider-boiii

[south-park-boyos]

hi again. curious as to if you have any personal south park headcanons?? (or if youd like to possibly be friends 😐)

Of course we can be friends, all SP pals are welcomed! 

I realised I’d never really sat down to think about these so this got long pretty quickly. Also, this is kind of all over the place and some of these are less headcanons and more things I like to think about.

KYLE

He’s pretty booksmart and likes to write short stories, which are closely guarded. He does share them with Stan and Ike, sometimes making them little characters in the stories.

Can play the violin. He learnt using online videos and mostly uses it to play meme songs and megalovania.

Sings really well but is ridiculously shy about it.

Makes PowerPoints for anyone who gets confused on certain subjects and sits through it with them.

Has naturally sharp teeth, nothing too dramatic but it’s fun to think about.

Learns a lot of languages in his free time and teaches Stan what he knows.

STAN

He’s dyslexic? I don’t know, it just seems like a fun thing to explore with him.

He’s really good with video editing software and likes to make stupid videos to laugh about.

Has sound knowledge on cars and can fix basic problems with them pretty easily.

Knows a lot about animals and really likes whales.

Uses open natural spaces to clear his head, often sitting in low tree branches.

Starts going on jogs to improve his stamina (which people call sprints because why does he have to move so fast?!?!).

KENNY

Is really good at skateboard tricks with his great balance.

Likes to do make-up for the girls and Karen, often getting tips from Bebe.

Takes freestyle dance classes and is pretty damn good at it.

Helps Karen make animal shelters for creatures in the area.

Everyone finds it easy to confide in Kenny.

CARTMAN

Eventually, people get fed up of him and leave him alone. He figures he has to be less of an asshole when even Butters cuts off contact.

He mellows out quite a bit and people often forget he’s listening until he chimes in with how much of an idiot they are.

When he puts his mind to it (which is rare) he’s really good at comforting people.

He makes really cool origami.

He starts spending a lot of time reading, favouring detective mysteries.

Keeps a diar- sorry journal to note down things he feels are important.

I like the idea that he and Clyde become step-brothers and he’s a passive but super protective brother!

BUTTERS

When he gets older, he comes out of his shell and is actually really daring (likes skydiving and paragliding).

He can hold his own in a fight, despite his small stature.

Likes that Kenny calls him Leo and other pet names.

Gives ridiculously great advice but only when directly asked for it.

Has a bit of a mean streak to him (from years of being around Cartman). Push him too far and he’ll bring up secrets he has no right to know about you.

He’s a vegetarian but not very strictly, more for the health benefits than anything else. If he wants bacon, he’ll eat bacon.

CRAIG

He doesn’t like people to know when he’s upset, playing the “don’t care” card hard. He’s not fooling anyone.

Makes DIY guinea pig playhouses with Tweek.

He’s a ridiculously good artist and sketches his friends when they’re all in one place.

When he laughs, like really laughs, it’s a godsend and ridiculously contagious.

When left alone with Stan, they have a pretty playful relationship. A bit of roughhousing and bonding over small things.

Runs a small D&D campaign with the guys. Mostly consists of “CLYDE! NO!” and “Those aren’t yours Tweek”.

TWEEK

He has a small garden and likes to grow fruit and veg to use when he’s cooking. Craig keeps eating all the tomatoes.

Can’t be beaten at chess. Not even Kyle can best him. He has fun trying though.

Is fantastic as a strategist for group games.

He always seems to know when something is up with one of the other guys.

Can draw in perfect calligraphy and having something to focus on calms his twitches.

TOKEN

Can drink you under the table. This man is a beast and holds liquor like a keg.

He sings when drunk and is known to hate Katy Perry songs but somehow knows all the words to them. Guess what people get him to sing when he’s fully out of it?

Rarely makes puns but, when he does, they’re golden.

He really likes cats. If he finds a stray, he brings it home and cleans them up before introducing them to the horde in his backyard, that he feeds every morning.

He likes to stay healthy, often going to the gym, so he’s pretty well-built.

CLYDE

He has ADHD. Sitting still for a long time is a pain and he often feels a ridiculous urge to go and do something and can’t focus until its done.

Has a feel-good aura that improves everyone’s mood. Him just sitting there puts a smile on people’s faces.

Contrary to what people think, he has incredibly witty comebacks, often leaving you dumbfounded.

He’s great at bringing Token out of his shell. “You’re allowed to be stupid with us dude!”

He was chubby in childhood but never really grew out of it. More grows into it.

JIMMY

He’s good at convincing people not to do the stupid thing that will get them into a lot of trouble.

He can speak Welsh. He likes the accent and has a lot of good jokes to tell with it.

If you insult him, you will receive a crutch to the face. You were warned.

He’s a gaming maestro and mains druids in the best possible way.

BEBE

Mistress of Mischief. (Her + Kenny and Clyde is an accident waiting to happen).

Will walk into your house, beeline for the kitchen and eat your food. Hellos come after.

If she sees you wearing a bad outfit she’ll give advice then bring you shopping for one that really shines on you.

She sings Broadway songs whilst cleaning. If you hear her belting out Waving Through a Window just put your head down and walk away.

Wanna ask her why she did that? Eyebrow Waggle™.

RED

She’s great at dagger throwing, with a dead steady aim.

I like the AUs where she’s Craig’s cousin. It seems fitting.

She really likes chemistry. DIY smoke bombs are her speciality.

She can stare someone out of a room. Not even glaring, just a discomforting gaze.

NICHOLE

If you need help, she’s there already and probably has a bag full of cookies.

She gets along really well with Clyde and finds it easy to find something to talk about (which is mostly just teasing Token).

She used to date Token but it became awkward and they broke up, both deciding it felt too much like dating a sibling.

You eat her Werther’s Originals, you taste her blade.

She lets Craig style and cut her hair. He has a whole set of hairstylist equipment but no one knows where he got it from or where he keeps it.

WENDY

She likes to have friendly debates with Kyle, loving the new information she learns from him.

Goes to peaceful protests with Stan.

She has the Disapproving Frown™ which stops all schemes in their tracks.

Often seen chasing Bebe around to prevent her ridiculous plans.

Has long conversations with Cartman (post behaviour fix) and they’re really close friends.

I’ll probably come up with more in the future but this is it for now! Thanks for the ask, it was really fun to think about all this.

I have more headcanons for ships and such but those’ll just be for when I’m asked about the ship specifically, don’t wanna make these long posts a regular thing.

[wennjunhui]

seventeen hospital au

im back at it again with another random seventeen post bc nurse!jun is ruining me :)))))

disclaimer: the most i know about hospitals and how they work is from chicago med so dont expect this to be accurate 

seungcheol

attending physician in the ed

kinda intimidating but is really a huge softie

but don’t make him angry bc that is not a good idea at all

always seen with a protein shake

tends to hover over the new med students a lot

partially because it’s important to evaluate them and their knowledge

but most because he thinks its funny when they freak out around him

always asks for a psych consult even when he knows its not necessary

bc its totally in the best interest in the patient and not because hes bored and wants to talk with his bff nahhh

has a long term girlfriend that works as a software developer

everyone in the ed tryna get him to propose bc ITS BEEN 9 YEARS DAMMIT WIFE HER ALREADY

jeonghan

psychiatry fellow

usually works night shifts because hes sleeps schedule is fucked 

functions on coffee and coffee alone

is constantly Tired

catch him napping in the break rooms whenever he has time

originally wanted to go into psychology, but he gets too invested and thought it would be better to maintain short term relationships

bffs with seungcheol, but bffls with joshua

by the off chance he’s not tried, he’ll go around the ed and tease the doctors and nurses

hes in the ed a lot tho bc someone keeps calling him even tho “he literally just sprained his ankle seungcheol why am i here”

joshua

plastics fellow

fucking loaded

pulls up to the ed in a fucking gold ferrari and just shrugs when people ask about

‘yeah i got it as a birthday gift, treat yourself ya know?’

born and raised in the us, but went to south korea to further his studies

bffls with jeonghan

by GOD the chance theyre in the same room, its game over for everyone

his surgery playlist is fucking wild 

did a heartbreaking ballad just finish playing? oh thats sad but move over its britney bitch 

always brings a guitar to work parties

‘if you sing sunday morning one more fucking time-’ proceeds to sing sunday morning ‘GODDAMMIT JOSHUA’

is seeing the cute hotel concierge that works a few blocks away 

junhui

the Hot Nurse

literally all the patients fucking swoon 

kinda makes patients nervous bc of how handsome he is

ok i’ll stop now

occasionally scrubs in as a surgical nurse for minghao

he pretends to be all cool and hot shit in front of patients, but when hes around staff he turns into a giant bright ball of excitable fluff 

will always be asked to be assigned to kid patients bc he loves kids

studied abroad in korea and decided he loved it there so he stayed

may or may not have a crush on someone in the hospital but shh no one knows except jeonghan and minghao

has no problem calculating correct dosages but cant do basic math for the life of him

‘no junhui, 7+8 does not equal 17′

soonyoung

senior resident in the ed

HYPEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!111!!!!111

works night shifts bc otherwise the ed would be dead without him

probably drinks too much redbull for his own health

his favorite treatment room is treatment room five because “that’s where a patient peed on me on my first day here”

“ok soonyoung good to kno”

“no problem”

not very tech savvy 

always manages to fuck up the tablets somehow every shift

for the love of GOD dont let him near an xray machine

also never assign him and seungkwan on the same patient they will accomplish nothing 

has taken chan under his wing

wonwoo

neurology resident

blind as fuck

harry potter glasses for days

looks really cold on the outside but is really just a huge fucking dork

like actually he laughs and jokes about anything and everything

neurology can be dark sometimes yo and humor is a great way to cope with it

that and gaming

half the reason why he cant see is bc he spent too much time playing video games growing up

still kinda does but he gets away with it

accompanies soonyoung on the night shift bc he knows soonyoung gets lonely sometimes

plays ballads in the surgery rooms because it helps him keep calm

jihoon

pathology resident

‘forget working with humans hAVE YOU SEEN THIS BLOOD CULTURE ITS COOL AS FUCK’

that being said, he hangs around the break rooms a lot because being cooped up in pathology is just tiring sometimes and he needs actual people to talk to

but mostly its so he can draw on jeonghans sleeping face

shares a flat with soonyoung bc rent is expensive yo

usually has the best tunes down in pathology 

originally wanted to go into music, but school kinda killed his enjoyment of it for a long time

is slowly getting back into and finding his joy in it again

he knows too many stories about the ed that hes forced to listen to

“for the last fucking time soonyoung i dont care about how your patient threw up on seungkwan”

“okokok but`”

“no”

seokmin

ed resident wanting to specialize in pediatrics

SUNSHINE AND HAPPINESS AND SMILES EVERYWHERE

wow literally everyone in the ed is in love with him a teeny tiny bit

because he has such a bright and positive aura around him that its hard not to feel happy 

sings to the smol children if they get scared 

everyone always asks him to sing at work parties and he kills it every time despite being initially shy

“wait wait wait you were in a rock band in high school???”

has a crush on the ed secretary out front

its so fucking cute the rest of the ed ships them so much

sometimes he doubts himself and his skills and that makes his day very sad

but everyone in the ed is in love with him and will constantly be there to remind seokmin about how amazing his is and how much he deserves to be here

and thatll make his day better c:

mingyu

ed resident

the Hot Doctor

wow everyone has a crush on him even if you dont you do

pray for the patients that get assigned to both mingyu and jun your in for a visual attack

tho the facade for mingyu usually breaks after a minute of meeting him

clumsy af yo

once knocked over the patients entire tray of food because his limbs were longer than he remembered

sometimes forgets to put on hand sanitizer and seungcheol always yells at him about

from the other side of the ed “MINGYU, HANDS”

“THANKS HYUNG”

always brings his own lunch bc hospital foods shit and he makes better food at home 

sometimes brings in cookies for the staff in the break room

theyre usually gone within an hour

minghao

trauma and emergency medicine fellow

TALENTED

was personally scouted by hospital officials in china

really young to be such an expert in his field

also his hands are really sensitive to abnormalities in the human body so he feels out the situation and catches the situation really early

is kinda intimidating because of his rbf and takes no shit approach

but is really super soft and fluffy once not in a work environment

relied on jun a lot in terms of adjustment here in korea, and he’s probably closest to him in the ed 

has jun scrub in with him for surgeries sometimes

objectively has the best surgery playlists

from pink floyd, to an obscure japanese indie rock

bickers with mingyu a lot of proper treatment of patients

usually theyre both right tho they just cant communicate effectively

is secretly seeing another chinese surgeon from plastics, but they hide it really well except from jun ofc

seungkwan

nurse

a really loud and mouthy one at that

nags everyone in the ed a lot despite not being the charge nurse

tho hes getting there and everyone knows it 

despite that, hes really sweet and caring towards patients 

is also really weak for kids, but he cant ever be assigned to them because he’ll freak out if something happens to them

always earns high marks on nurse feedback forms because he does his job AND is entertaining 

even tho he nags everyone else, sometimes hes too selfless and forgets to take care of himself

“did you forget your lunch? aiii how could you do that? here take mine”

“seungkwan you need to eat to”

“i said take it, now eat and make your mom proud”

cries and often laments how much he loves his staff when hes had a little too much to drink at work parties

hansol

a new nurse

really chill, vibin through life

is really a much appreciated presence to have around the ed, especially when things can become hectic really quickly

often acts as a translator between english and korean 

will laugh at pretty much anything (which wonwoo appreciates alot because at least someone likes his jokes)

one thing that always gets his blood boiling is the blatant ignorance some patients have

like the offhanded racism against him or his coworkers, or comments about lgbtq+ people 

and there have been times when he hasnt been able to control how he responds because wow he Dislikes ignorant people

so whenever he gets a patient like that, he often asks to switch with another nurse because “if i have to listen to karen say something racist about jun or minghao again im gonna lose my fucking mind”

med students usually hang around him bc of how approachable he is

shower thoughts

“do you ever wonder this would taste like”

“hansol dont-”

chan

med student in his final year

is really eager to learn and get started on things!

ed is his first choice for match day

soonyoung has taken him under his wing so he mainly just shadows him

and its always a fun and great time chan has learned so much from him 

the entire ed staff has adopted him and will riot if he doesnt get accepted on match day

“chan, whos baby are you?”

“for the last time hyung IM TWENTY SEVEN”

if hes not shadowing soonyoung, hes probably studying in the break rooms with hansol throwing popcorn at him

“hyung stop im tryna study”

“ok but catch this in your mouth first”

still has a lot to learn, but hes out there conquering the world of medicine yall better watch out

[porkchop-ao3]

A Thrill I’ve Never Known (Chapter 9)

We Loved Once And True

Tagging along with Arty so he can meet Mary, I feel like this one’s pretty short.

(All chapters tagged with #ATINK and also posted on Ao3, username PorkChop)

-

I woke up very early, everyone else was still fast asleep, probably suffering from the night of heavy drinking that I'd slept through. I gingerly sat up and scooted out from my spot between Mary-Beth and Karen, standing up and stretching. I figured I'd brew the coffee since I had no idea when Pearson would be able to rise. I set to work, moving on autopilot with my freshly woken mind blank and calm. As I waited for the coffee to be ready I started feeling more alert, remembering the mood I'd been in when I went to bed.

Of course, things always seemed a little better after a night's sleep, but I still felt nauseated at the memory of seeing Abigail's face. She didn't seem angry, but her face had been worryingly indifferent, like she was hiding her true feelings. I couldn't escape the worry that she hated me.

I poured myself a cup of coffee and sat down at the table near Pearson's station. I'd known right from the start that I couldn't stay long at the camp. I'd been alone for far too long and integrating into large group like this one wasn't a good idea; all it'd do is leave me dependant and vulnerable, even more vulnerable than when I was alone. I just had to figure out a way to get myself sorted, build up my inventory again. I needed weapons, I needed a tent and I needed my horse. As soon as I had those things, I'd bid these fine people farewell and move on from the whole thing, taking a lesson from it.

“'Morning. You're up early,” I was startled by the voice coming up behind me. “Relax, you're real jumpy.”

Arthur's hair was a little messy and he was just wearing his pants over the top of his union suit. He was missing his shirt but his gun belt was hanging from his hips already, and that was something that caught my attention.

“I’m sorry, it's just so quiet out here. I uh, I turned in early,” I said, turning back around and staring at my coffee. I heard him get a cupful for himself and tensed up when he sat down in the seat opposite me.

“Not a lover of parties?” He asked. I shrugged my shoulders and nonchalantly patted the plaits still pinned to my head; I'd slept with my hair still up and it probably looked a state.

“I didn't mind it. I was just tired,” I told him. Tired, and sick of thinking.

“I'm sorry if we kept you up,” he said, and I saw him place a little box of biscuits on the table, opening them up. He took one, then pushed them towards me. With a grateful nod, I took one for myself.

“No, you didn't. It was actually pretty easy to fall asleep, I guess because here I don't have to worry about waking up to some undesirable standing over me; whether that be human or animal,” I admitted, braving a peek at him. His hair looked neater, and I thought he must've smoothed it out when I wasn't looking.

Suddenly I felt even more self-conscious about my own appearance. I bit into my biscuit and tried to swallow those thoughts along with it.

“That's right. You'll be safe here, we all look out for each other,” he smiled at me and I couldn't help but notice how attractive he looked, still a little sleepy, his voice sounding deeper than usual, a bit of his firm chest exposed between the buttons of his union suit. I sighed quietly and looked away.

“How did you sleep?” I asked, stroking my finger up and down the side of my cup. The metal was dented and I traced the dip absentmindedly.

“Not well, 's why I'm up. I was planning on going to see Mary, and I've been working myself up over it. It's been a long time…” he breathed, eyes settling on my finger. I stopped moving it.

“I wish I had something better to say than; you'll be fine. You will be, but I know how empty those words can seem,” I said softly and he nodded in appreciation.

“Thank you," he said. "Have you thought about if you're coming with me?”

I bit my bottom lip, staring at his hands; his first and middle finger were quickly drumming against the side of his cup one after another, over and over.

“I'll come, if you'd like me to. If it'd bring you a little comfort,” I looked to his eyes to see him exhale in relief.

“Like I said, having someone with me's likely to stop me from going off, gallivanting…” he trailed off, frowning to himself. “I need to keep my feet on the ground, right now. For Dutch and everyone else.”

“Well then I'd better join you,” I nodded, finishing my biscuit.

“Thank you,” he said sincerely, looking me in the eye. His hand reached across the table a bit, stopping short of my arm when I looked away far too quickly and unnaturally; I could feel heat rising to my face.

Why did he have to be so dang attractive, and why couldn't I just act normal?

-

I changed into my new pants, tucking my blouse into them and fastening my belt tight to hug them to my waist. I also stole a look at myself in Molly's hand mirror and to my relief, my hair didn't actually look too bad after sleeping on it. It'd been done tight and proper, and so it'd kept its shape with just a few fly-aways that I managed to smooth down with my hand and a splash of water.

I met with Arthur again near his horse, which was saddled and ready to go. He mounted it, speaking softly to it and patting its neck. Seeing someone being affectionate with their horse always brought a smile to my face, and always made me miss Rayna.

“You ready? You can ride up here with me,” he patted the spot behind him and I gulped as I stepped forwards. With no excuse to ride sidesaddle, I climbed up and sat forward behind him, taking his hand for support. His hand was hot and his palm felt calloused, it was strong and held mine tightly, he wasn't shy about it.

I felt something real strong pumping through my veins as I settled into place behind him, my thighs up against his hips, my chest against his back. I worried he could feel my heart beating with our proximity, and with my shaky hands I held onto his waist, trying my damnedest to ignore the rush that was making me feel like I'd just been hooked up to a lightning rod. Arthur seemed as cool as ever, tugging on the reins to turn his horse as he started trotting out of camp.

We were gone before anyone else had woken up, and for that I was grateful. Nobody could see my face, which was surely deep red. I realised I blushed so much around Arthur, he must've noticed by then, I could only hope he just thought it was my regular complexion. Though it might as well be, with how often it happened…

“We're heading towards Valentine. She said she was stopping in a house over there,” he explained as we rode. As we picked up the pace, I had to hold on tighter to him. “I'll just go in and speak with her and if you'd just wait on the horse for me, I'd appreciate it. Jet's a good boy, he'll look after you,” he added, patting his horse again.

“Alright, I hope everything goes well with you two,” I told him. I was sincere but it sounded so empty and dull the way I said it. He thanked me anyway.

“Afterwards I'll buy us breakfast as a thank you.”

“You don't have to do that. All I'm doing is sitting on your horse,” I laughed.

“I'm starving and you must be too, we're getting breakfast,” he told me with finality that I didn't argue with. “And I appreciate you doing this, it might seem like a small thing to you, but,” he didn't finish his sentence and I felt his chest expand with a large breath.

We came up to a house and Arthur slowed down, looking around.

“I think this is the place,” he mumbled, mainly to himself. He stopped the horse by the fence that surrounded the property and got down, having to lean back into me so he could swing his leg over. He felt so solid against me, like such a man, and I found myself picturing what he'd look like under that union suit I saw him in earlier.

Gosh. I needed to calm down and start showing the man some respect.

“I don't plan on being long, there's a rifle on my horse if you see me doing something stupid,” he looked sheepish and adjusted his hat on his head.

I chuckled. “Like what?”

“Like getting too close,” he muttered, turning and half jogging up to the house.

I watched him as he knocked on the door, and my hand flinched for the rifle he'd mentioned when I saw him take a step back, raising his hands. There was a woman pointing a gun at him.

That's Mary?!

I didn't know what I should do, but luckily it seemed like Arthur had things under control, and a moment later the woman went back inside. It was a few seconds before someone else came out.

Oh, that's Mary.

I squinted as I tried to get a good look at her, completely forgetting my manners in favour of curiosity. My mouth went dry when I noticed just how beautiful she was; like unreal, perfect beauty. No wonder Arthur was so nervous to see her again, and I wasn't surprised that someone like her would've gone for someone like him. They certainly made an attractive couple.

I jumped when Mary's eyes met mine, and I sat back a little, turning my head away so it didn't look like I was seconds away from getting the binoculars out. She said something and Arthur looked over his shoulder at me. I felt a little sick, honestly, not knowing what they were saying. Was he telling her the truth? That I was just some poor girl tagging along with the gang after her life was stolen from under her? Or was he misleading her, choosing his words carefully so she could draw her own conclusions? He did say that it might make things easier if she thought he'd moved on. I honestly didn't know which I'd prefer, though I did wonder if she'd believe that Arthur and I were anything more than acquaintances. I'd be one heck of a downgrade, that's for sure.

She really was beautiful, and I was looking at her from a distance. I shuddered to think how she looked up close, I'd probably never look in a mirror again. I looked away from them, giving them their privacy, instead opting to play with Jet's mane. I ran my fingers through it, gently undoing any tangles, then separated out three strands. I knew very little about braiding, just that there were three strands involved, but every time I'd watched my mother do it I'd quickly lost track of what she did with them.

I tried twisting the three strands together in various ways; weaving one strand between the other two, wrapping the outside strands around the middle strand one by one, weaving the outside strands under the middle strand one by one- oh. Wait, that didn't look too bad! I kept at it, repeating the process slowly but surely down to the end of Jet's mane. By the time I was finished I had an uneven, wiggly looking, messy braid. But it was the first braid I'd ever managed! I smiled to myself, and thought about telling Mary-Beth when we got back. I could show her and ask if I'd done it correctly.

The braid had killed some time and when I looked back up at Arthur, he was standing a little distance away from Mary on the porch. His face looked conflicted and Mary was wringing her hands together. Eventually Arthur shook his head, said a few parting words, before stepping down from the porch and heading back towards me. I scooted backwards, giving him enough room to mount up in front of me. Arthur wordlessly got on, the only sound he made being his clicking at the horse to get it moving. I looked back at Mary as we rode away; she was standing with her arms crossed, watching us leave.

[quarantineroulette]

Minor Disappointments’ 10 Least Disappointing Releases of 2019

I wasn’t going to compile a 2019 year-end list for a number of reasons (lack of time to listen to new music, general malaise, little time to write), but I’ve read so much bad end of year music writing that I feel like I must either stoke the embers or assist in extinguishing it. I don’t think I’m doing either here, but everyone likes list so here’s another.

I haven’t had time to really think about 2019 in songs but my favorite this year was, no kidding, a Tindersticks song featuring Robert Pattinson. Speaking of...

10) FKA twigs - Magdalene

  I really wish I hadn’t remembered that Pattinson and twigs dated because it put a slight damper on my enjoyment of this album. Instead of appreciating it in all its genre-destroying glory, as I did on my first listen, subsequent spins led to me becoming sidetracked by tabloid speculation over what RPattz must have done to have wronged this very singular artist. So, whether this is your first listen or 50th, forget all that I just wrote and instead let twigs fill your empty mind with her sometimes delicate, sometimes Kate Bush-evoking, wholly epic songs.

Favorite moment: It’s pretty commendable and bold to place the lead single as the closing track, especially if its something as monumentally gut-wrenching as “Cellophane.” Also, that video is the visual treasure everyone says it is, no fooling. 

9) Weyes Blood - Titanic Rising

If you’ve ever heard Karen Carpenter’s Beatles covers you might have some idea as to what this record is like. But beyond Natalie Mering’s cozy vocals and timeless compositions is an undercurrent of ambient mystery that sets everything ever so slightly askew. At times, Laurel Canyon vibes are completely dispelled for more crepuscular textures, as in the album’s centerpiece, the Julee Cruise-esque “Movies.” Who knows where Mering will go next, but her path, whether from the California sun or glow of the silver screen, is certainly bright. 

Favorite moment:  “A Lot’s Gonna Change”, “Andromeda”, “Everyday” - as strong of a three song run as on any release this year. 

8) Angel Olsen - All Mirrors

The cynic in me wanted to resist this album, but as soon as the cinematic strings kicked in on “Lark” I decided the enormous amount of critical hyperbole that was being thrown at it was mostly warranted. Stately, dramatic, occasionally synthy and largely devastating, All Mirrors taught me that sometimes you may find many of your favorite things in the unlikeliest of places. Please insure your heartstrings. 

Favorite moment: “Spring” which, like a lot of great songs, sounds a little like a fairground ride breaking down. 

7) Danny Brown - uknowhatimsayin¿

This might be the funnest album I’ve listened to all year. It can be hard to do positive but “Best Life” is as heartening as Nardwuar’s interview with Brown and fewer things are happier than that. With his fifth album, Brown has proven he can ably do every mood with aplomb. And if using cleaning references as euphemisms is your poison, then, hell, he can do that too. 

Favorite moment: “Hoes on my dick ‘cos I look like Roy Orbison.” Need I say more?

6) Omni - Networker

One of the strongest post-to-the-nth-degree-punk bands from the latter 2010s, I still have Omni’s 2016 debut, Deluxe, on heavy rotation. Networker, the trio’s third record and first on Sub Pop, has no shortage of twists, turns, technical dexterity, quirk and compositional audacity. Looks like I’ll be overplaying this one too. 

Favorite moment: I could listen to “Courtesy Call” over a hundred times and I still wouldn’t be able to guess what direction it’s going to go in. 

5) Aldous Harding - Designer

 Of all the artists on this list, I find Harding the most inspiring in both her songwriting and her performing style, which is arresting to say the least. The songs on Designer are paradoxically accessible and impenetrable, with seemingly breezy songs like “Weight of the Planets” leaving you with a feeling that’s a cross between a “wow!” and a “huh?”(perhaps a bit like this). Most impressive of all, Harding draws to mind such greats as Nick Drake, Syd Barrett and Nico while always sounding completely like herself. I honestly don’t know what layer of reality Harding is from, but we should all be thankful she’s residing in ours for the time being. 

Favorite moment: “The Barrel” had been in my YouTube queue for ages; after finally watched it I was left confused, mildly disturbed, amused and completely beguiled. This kookily hatted lady is just semi-dancing in a heavily-draped room for nearly five minutes and it’s the most fascinating video in years. If the video wasn’t entertaining enough, it also happens to have one of the funniest and sweetest comment threads on YouTube. Oh yeah, and the song is brilliant. 

4) Deerhunter - Why Hasn’t Everything Already Disappeared?

Deerhunter have really only misstepped once for me and that was with 2015′s Fading Frontier. Seeing as this is the band’s first full length since then, I had quite a bit of trepidation going in. Of course, a lot can happen in four years and Why Hasn’t Everything... is a thankfully thrilling addition to the band’s canon. Whether it be Cate Le Bon’s production, Bradford’s growing ease as a performer and eccentric, Lockett’s unexpectedly Low-esque "Tarnung,” or all of the above, this may well be Deerhunter’s most consistent release since Halcyon Digest. I’m even slightly tempted to say it’s better than it, but the sacrilege is too great.

Favorite moment: “What Happens to People” -- totally unique to the Deerhunter canon and already a classic. 

3) Lana Del Rey - Norman Fucking Rockwell!!

I never thought I could ever love an album with a Sublime cover on it, but here we are. In all fairness, the inclusion of “Doin’ Time” matters little when the originals on this treatise on Americana is so glorious.  Between the torchiness and the LA-specific witchiness of songs like “Bartender”, there’s not much on here that I’m able to resist. There may still be haters but “The Greatest” drowns them out a little more with each play.  Favorite Moment: “And we were so obsessed with writing the next best American record” - yeah, thank you for doing that.  2) Karen O & Danger Mouse - Lux Prima Truth be told, the first time I listened to this record I cried when it ended because I didn’t want to leave its world. There may have been more radical records by newer artists in 2019, but hearing Karen O doing what she does best, as well as trying many new things, was such a joy to me. I’m probably among only a handful of people who wanted to hear Karen do a straight up disco song in 2019, but we got it and it’s something to be treasured for years to come. To paraphrase Sparks + Franz Ferdinand, collaborations don’t (often) work, but thanks to O’s flawless vocals and Brian Burton’s sometimes Dave Fridmann-esque production, this one is an exception.  Favorite Moment:  I’m tempted to say the whole thing, but “Turn the Light” and “Redeemer” are maybe two of the biggest surprises on an album of many. 

1) Purple Mountains - Purple Mountains 

Purple Mountains is quite possibly a new touchstone in gallows humor. Given David Berman’s suicide less than a month after the record’s release, what should now be a grim and discomfiting listen is so mordant and wry that it somehow overpowers its bleakness. More striking than perhaps even the moments of humor is the album’s tenderness, so beautifully represented in songs like “Snow is Falling in Manhattan” and “I Loved Being My Mother’s Son.” Although it’s undeniably tragic that there will be no more words from Berman, the ones he’s left us with will fascinate and move us for decades to come. 

Favorite Moment: Unsurprisingly, Berman’s lyrical dexterity on this album is beyond measure. From the internal and slant rhymes in a line like “see the plod of the flawed individual looking for a nod from God” to the layers of meaning in “the light of my life is going out tonight”, the wordsmithery here is mesmerizing. If I had the time, I would gladly write an essay on how Berman used color to further emphasize a point. Thanks for the music, David, but thanks especially for the words. 

[scribescribe]

Exciting news, guys! You know that infamous Mistworld blooper reel that’s turned up at a couple of cons but seems to be on really tight lockdown until the DVDs come out? Well, they had it at ShiftCon this year, and although they were being really intense about no A/V recording, they didn’t say anything about frantic scribbling...so here’s as good a transcript as I could come up with! I’m sure a missed a bunch of stuff- in the way of blooper reels, there were a LOT of short clips, and I didn’t bother recording things like “everyone making silly faces” because, well, that’s not particularly exciting to read about and also those went by suuuuper fast, but here’s what I have! Enjoy!

Mistworld Bloopers:

-Danai Gurira attempting to dramatically raise the visor on her helmet, but it’s stuck. “On second thought, I prefer to remain mysterious,” she says, as everyone around her cracks up.

-Lupita Nyong'o utterly failing to gracefully draw her very large sword

-Natalie Portman hissing at the camera to show off her vampire fangs

-Karen David, Nicki Minaj, and Sara Bareilles singing a beautifully harmonized “Can You Feel The Love Tonight” for some reason

-Gina Carano and G-Dragon in craft services. G-Dragon says something slowly and exaggeratedly in Korean (subtitles: “please give me a coffee”) [ETA: thanks to the anon in my inbox who gave the Korean: 커피 좀 주세요], then holds up a cup. Gina attempts to repeat it and ends up with something that sounds similar to my ears but the subtitles are “give me a bloody nose” [코피 좀 주세요]. G-Dragon shrugs, puts down the coffee, and instead tries to punch her in the face, but she blocks it, twists his arm around, and punches him showily- he flies off his feet and collapses dramatically on the ground. She looks around guiltily, takes the coffee, and backs out of the frame.

-People milling around setting up for a shot. Someone in a big heavy cloak/coat thing approaches the camera and pulls back their hood to reveal- it’s Dessa. “Guess who’s back!”, she whispers, and winks.

-Montage of Rosario Dawson forgetting that Leila’s horns give her over a foot of extra height and walking into doorframes, tree branches, awnings, etc.

-Jim Rash trying to stand up dramatically in his rowboat and falling over

-G-dragon flailing around trying to get untangled from Alokas’s silks

-A take of the intense conversation between Rai and Nyka outside of a falling Ellsmere on the Ba Sing Se timeline. Santiago Cabrera does the line “...but it was worth it, to see you again,” and Gina Carano nods very seriously and then does the slowwwww lean-in as if to kiss him thing. He immediately catches on and also leans in; they don’t actually get there before someone yells CUT and they break apart laughing, but they get very close. This got an INTENSE scream from the audience, you guys, I’m pretty sure they know what we’re into and are trolling us.

-Rodrigo Santoro concentrating deeply on a magic book. After a very long moment of making a serious doing magic face he says, without ever opening his eyes, “this isn’t a practical effect, is it”. Someone offscreen: “nope!” RS: “you guys are doing it in post”. Offscreen: “yup!” RS: “and everyone’s just waiting for me to get on with this scene” Offscreen: “yeah that’s pretty much it!”

-Tyrese Gibson in the middle of a line addressing Toya, then stopping and going “nope, she’s on the other shoulder, isn’t she. You can just fix that with the CG, right, make her fly around?”

-Montage of the Tymora robot being generally terrible: getting stuck on cracks between floorboards, falling off tables and out of pockets, often followed by laughter, swearing, and apologies off-camera, presumably from the crewmember operating it. A lot of the scene where Rai, Merenith, and Toya “follow” Tymora down the hallways of the mages’ guild in which the robot was apparently having some hard times. Gina Carano has several takes of her monologue to Toya like “I’ve never seen it do anything like this before, it just started walking toward the Mages Guild this morning and it won’t stop….except, uh, now….I see it’s stopped...perhaps the middle of this hallway was very important to Asmun?” or “I’ve never seen it do anything like this before...yes, the slightly eerie twitching and whine of dying batteries is definitely new…”

-everyone who gets caught in the explosion where Rai is possessed by undead!Cord standing around in bathrobes, doing a little dance and chant “Na-ked ep-i-sode! Na-ked ep-i-sode!”

-Tom Hiddleston tripping on his shadowy robes, stumbling, managing to stay upright, and doing jazz hands

-Bex Taylor-Klaus attempting to drink something and having way too much trouble getting figuring out how to get a straw through the dragon prosthetic

-Santiago Cabrera and the double who was standing in for the other Nyka slowly mirroring each other’s movements and then turning to the camera in mock-astonished horror

-Several takes of Rosario Dawson waving her arms dramatically at a monster that presumably will be CGI’d in later and then turning to her companions and declaring: “it’s okay, for the next five minutes it…

-”will think it’s a beagle puppy named Patches”

-”will have to pee really really bad”

-”will sincerely believe that it’s just a tennis ball on a stick”

-”will only want to jam to this beat” (she begins beatboxing)

-”will think Athol is its mommy”

-Manu Bennett dangling from strings in front of a green screen and making dramatic fighter plane noises and he pretends to steer Athol’s glider

-Jim Rash rowing in his boat suspended in the air against a greenscreen, singing sweetly “row row row your boat, gently down the stream...merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily” then turning to look directly into camera and whispering creepily “life is but a dream”

-A montage of fighters dropping their weapons or otherwise messing up their fight choreography, including Lupita Nyong'o whacking Rosario Dawson with her shield, Natalie Portman slicing aggressively with the glaive and accidentally flinging it across the room, Dichen Lachman falling down while trying to heroically charge up a hill, Gina Carano trying to crack her whip and it just flopping around awkwardly, Amandla Stenberg turning the wrong way and dramatically stabbing a place where no one is standing, Manu Bennett throwing an axe and having the head go flying and the handle just plop down at his feet

-Bex Taylor-Klaus pointing at Rodgrigo Santoro and going “and THAT’S a WRAP!” with a cheesy grin, while Rodrigo Santoro shakes his head in extreme judgment. 

[brooklynislandgirl]

If you are still doing the ship meme... all the hearts for Beth and Foggy cause I need to know :)

Heart Eyes || Accepting

❤: who is more affectionate in public? in private?

Long suffering Foggy Nelson has been the victim of ambushing by hug or sudden hand-hold, by bright and bubbly enthusiasm over probably the weirdest things, kisses on the cheek, straightening of ties, thumbs up from around corners…the laundry list gets longer with every passing year they’ve known each other. And he wears her affection with a style and grace that’s rather unmatched by nearly anyone he could care to name.

And he returns those tokens with equal aplomb, albeit differently. Musicals watched at his apartment, a tour of the office while he was still working on it. Phone calls in the middle of the night to make sure she is first…okay, and that she doesn’t forget she actually has a home to go to.“Definitely me in public, him in personal space.”

♡: who is the bigger romantic openly? secretly?

She laughs and the sound radiates warmth and kindness through out it’s duration which is brief. Not because the question is funny but because Foggy is one of the sweetest and most romantic souls she knows, more so than she is, and that’s saying a lot.“Foggy’s romantic in da very French sense of da word. I mean if I had t’ pick someone oddah dan my braddah whom I could see ridin’ resolutely into battle wi’ a token around his arm from some kine maiden fair…I couldn’t pick anyone beddah. He carries a wonder of da world, a belief dat’s deep as oceans inside. He will champion a cause because it’s da right kine to do an’ nevah really t’ink twice, no matter how much he stand to lose, how hurt he could get, how he don’t see himself dat way.

“My favourite knights were always Sir Gawain an’ Sir Galahad….an’ if Foggy isn’t a distant relative of Lancelot, den I dunno who is. So I say….he’s da bigger romantic open like.”

❥: who is more likely to plan something big for valentine’s day?

“I hones’ly t’ink dat Foggy’s idea of Valentimes is him makin’ some kine ono for someone special ~man’s a fantastic cook when he’s got da time an patience for it, an’ he gonna shower you with all of his attention. Dat’s how he let ya know he cares, ya know? Lazy conversation, great little jokes, really lissen an’ rememberin’ small details.”She smiles.“Me…mebbe is cause how I was raise but I feel like… need t’ go real big or go home ya know? Carriage t’rew da park, rentin’ out da stadium for ‘battin’ practice an’ a picnic onna pitcher’s mound. Broadway show wi’ ya name in lights. Dat kind of t’ing.”ღ: who is more likely to initiate hand-holding in public?

They walk through the park, talking about his cases, even the smallest ones bringing a sense of pride and sense of self worth in it. And it starts with walking maybe too close, so that her hand brushes his and eventually she slips her fingers between his. She’s always had a thing about touch, it’s how she navigates the world and sometimes it just makes her feel a little less lonely, a lot safer. And maybe he doesn’t mind so much, because he lets her. Sometimes carrying on through with a conversation or lifting their conjoined hands to point something out that she might have otherwise missed.💕: who is more likely to make huge declarations of love in front of other people?

“Uh. Foggy.”

She remembers it all too clearly. How strange they all looked in Josie’s, Foggy and Karen and Misty and Beth herself. And she watched how he watched their long-legged and blonde friend. And Beth wondered what it would be like to be here for just a moment, though she was jerked out of that feeling when he slammed his palms on their pool table, and ordered another round of drinks.

‘These are my friends and I love them!’The only explanation he gave. Karen doesn’t know how lucky she is. Can’t see beyond Matt or Frank. But Foggy never gives up on people, and Beth admires that, even if she can see the marks it leaves behind. Even if she knows what those marks feel like. He walked Karen home that night, and she…left a picket fence of cocktail umbrellas for her cabbie.She never really had the guts to ask what, if anything, happened that night.💘: who developed a crush on the other first?“Oh, I dunno. We’re jus’…jus’ friends.”

She doesn’t know exactly when she noticed how he lights up a room with his smile. Or how she could spend hours listening to his opening and closing statements, or talking about how he grew up and what his favourite movies are. She doesn’t know why he risked life and limb to come to her clinic the night of the Earthquake. Or when she first traced the veins on the back of his hand and gave it a squeeze. She wouldn’t even really call it a crush so much as…she just likes being around him. She thinks he’s the best cuddler and a good friend and…💝: who spends more time (possibly overthinking) what presents to get the other?

“Me. Cufflinks. Wha’ was I even t’inking?! But a’ least he took it in stride.”💓: who initiates most physical contact?

It’s not exactly initiation, but Beth usually starts it. Whether it’s running her fingers through his hair at the end of a rough day, or letting him doze in her lap when he’s sick, or rubbing his shoulders during the middle of the night and he’s still burning midnight oil at his desk. It is the only real way she knows of telling him that she cares about him, his well being, and all the other things that go along with it. That and the hand holding. Or resting her head on his shoulders while they’re going through their Star Wars marathon.

“Some day, I’m gonna be really sad when I’ve got to force-choke him for being rebel scum dat he is.”💌: who is more likely to send cutesy texts to the other?

“I wouldn’t call dem cutesy, really. But sometimes it’s nice t’ get a random tex so ya know someone out dere tinkin’ about ya. An’ he ~said~ he liked cute animal videos, so reliably no can hold dat against me, jus’ sayin.”💟: who spends time reading their zodiac incompatibilities?

“No idea wha’ ya talkin’ about, incompatibilities. We’re both Cancers, born t’irteen days apart and a couple years, give or take, which means we bot’ got a lot in common if ya don’ count generational kine. An’ so wha’ if his venus is in his sixth… I mean I’m sure I could sit down an’ draw out his chart if I wan too but why? I don’ t’ink it maddah t’ him wha’ da stars say, because it’s slander and heresay, at best.”💙: who is more protective?

Beth absolutely believes Foggy is the more physically protective of the two of them, where as she’s more emotionally protective of him, and in a way it creates a really beautiful synergy. And it’s also extremely endearing though the idea that he could get hurt because of her absolutely kills her. “I say we’re pretty even matched here.”💚: who tends to get sick more often? who is better at taking care of the other?

Beth is convinced that he’s never noticed that she doesn’t get sick. Despite working in an emergency room and running a health clinic in the Kitchen. That whenever things go really side ways {or she spends time with people like Frank Castle}, she has the remarkable good luck not to come away with a single scratch. And she really hopes he doesn’t ever catch on because that is the one secret she can’t share with him.Likewise, Foggy’s worst habit is his lack of self-care and the fact that he’ll run himself into the ground if he’s allowed to. So of course she tries to make sure he doesn’t without seeming weird about it.

“I mean, I’m pretty sure I can say I’m mo’ beddah taking care of him, and oddah people, because dat’s ya know…what I do for a living. An’ I guess den dat makes him da one gets more sick.”💜: who said “i love you” first? or, if neither has said it yet, who is more likely to say it first?

“Objection!” She almost chokes on her cup of coffee at the question. Obviously flustered she seems to drop back behind her personal shell over the matter. Arms hunched inward and face turned away so her hair falls into it. Beth…can’t bring herself to say those words. Even if she meant them, even if they scratched at the back of her mind. Because when she does? The person leaves. She’s watched it happen time after time after time, and she can’t bear the idea of not having Foggy in her life.Besides, she’s a thousand percent sure that he doesn’t see her that way. And that’s okay too. He deserves someone he loves. He deserves the world.“Dis seem really unfair. Wha’s dat called? Leadin’ da witness?”💛: who believes in soulmates?

She’s absolutely sure they both do, but it’s surprisingly not something that’s come up in casual conversation. And if she were honest with herself, she’d admit he’s already found that person. And she absolutely has no remorse punching a certain blind-man dead in the face if he ever breaks Foggy’s heart.Again.

[caesar-is-hollow]

Days 7-9

I figured one post would make me more likely to actually catch up, so here we go! Also scroll to the end for book reviews!!

Day 7: Express gratitude to 3 people

I don't like this prompt. I hate gratitude prompts. That's not to say I'm not grateful for things, I just don't like how cheesy the prompts are. And 3 people? I barely talk to three people.

I'm thankful for my art teacher. My last day of drawing was yesterday and it was my third semester with him. He's my favorite teacher I've ever had and I hope to take more of his classes.

I'm thankful for my bonus kids because I absolutely adore them, even though they're in the teen phase and starting to think I'm uncool. But we're all going through puberty together and that's pretty hilarious.

And this is probably cheating, but the Facebook groups I'm in. I've 'met' some really cool people and felt a stronger sense of belonging in virtual spaces than I ever have in physical ones.

Day 8: What are your goals this year?

I had so many goals and then covid happened, so I'm basically restarting again lol This year, I am trying to Thrive rather than Survive. I've just had the goal of making it through for the past...my entire life, so I'm focusing on enjoying the process more, which for me means healing trauma, having healthy boundaries, and trying new things/things I've always wanted to do.

I went to a Ghost concert Ritual in February, which was a huge thing for me, because in the past, I would have not gone because my SO didn't want to. But I chose to do something I wanted to do. And I fucking love concerts. I want to incorporate more of those. And just events in general. I was always like 'this seems cool. I would like to go, but I can't if ______ doesn't want to go." and that's just ridiculous. So now I just do the thing. I've also been giving myself things that I denied for a long time, or things people have made fun of me for in the past. It's all about embracing myself these days.

For more specific goals, I'm changing my name and applying for disability. I would hope to also move into my own place and get a service dog, but that doesn't necessarily have to be this year.

Day 9: A book you love

I don't really have favorite books that I reread. I have books I enjoy and recommend, but I usually forget them immediately. I've been really picking up reading again this year. That was one of my other major goals for the year. I've been documenting it all so I don't forget and I can look back on the progress.

Here's a few I absolutely loved.

One of Us Is Lying-Karen McManus

Not my favorite of the bunch, but I still really enjoyed it. Didn't realize it was a book series until I logged it into GoodReads, and then found out it was also a TV series as well. I highly recommend both. The show was really different than the book and it helped it be less predictable. Plus I can't wait for season 2.

Teen Killers Club-Lily Sparks

My most recent finish. Besides absolutely loving the cover, this one was all about defying expectations. At no point did I know where it was going next. A really fun read.

(This is gigantic. My bad)

I read this one back in January, but it's still pretty fresh in my mind because of how good it was. I used to love Holly Black when I was a kid (Spiderwick, anyone?), but haven't read any of her other books. This was a cool, modern fairytale-type book and I was very into it. Lots of different plot points and was woven together really nicely. Also gay. (If you stick around long enough, you'll notice a theme.)

( I gave up on titles and authors. Deal with it. You can clearly read.)

OH MY SWEET LORD!! This is probably my favorite book I've read in a long time. I don't reread books often, but this will be one that I definitely do. It was so fun piecing together the mystery with the character. Plus plague doctors before it was cool? Hell yeah. This book is very much my aesthetic. Agatha Christie-style murder mystery with time travel and body-switching? Sold.

Ya'll. This book ripped my heart out. Enough said. If you know, you know. Also gay.

I plan on doing more book reviews and reading journal updates because this was really fun to put together and I really enjoy working on my journal tbh.

[blackrippedskinnybeans]

I'm about to take such good care of you bitches but brace yourself cause this is a long post!

I'm going to tell you how to make the ultimate aesthetic and beneficial bath and I think we all need this after all the stress everyone has been going through this year and the last year.

Here's how to make a milk and rose bath which btw is the same shit pharaohs used to bath in and while it was expensive then, it's kinda affordable now and really anyone can do it.

• Add 1 to 2 cups of milk to a full tub of warm water. (You can use normal milk but to get the best results try Coconut Milk, Oat Milk, Almond Milk, Goat Milk, or Buttermilk.)

• Fill bathtub with warm water and add in the milk.

• Mix water and milk with your arm or foot to combine.

• 8-10 drops of a relaxing/rejuvenating essential oil of your choice.

• ½ cup of dried rose petals.

• Epsom Salt (Adding Epsom salt to a hot bath helps draw out toxins, calm nerves, cures headaches and muscles.)

• Olive Oil (Adding olive oil to a bath will moisturize and soften dry skin.)

• Soak and relax for 20 to 30 minutes and try to forget that the whole world is constantly bitch slapping us like a pimp.

• Once your done make sure you rinse.

Benefits of a milk bath:

• Soothe and hydrates skin.

• Reduce fine lines and wrinkles.

• Exfoliate skin.

• Improve skin firmness.

• Reduce dry spots and flare-ups.

• Ease sunburn.

• Improve inflammatory skin conditions.

• Ease tension.

• Relieve stress.

• Promote restful sleep.

Potential risks:

Really nothing but if you suffer from allergies to milk or have especially sensitive skin you should be cautious before taking a milk bath.

Benefits of rose water:

• Helps soothe skin irritation. (this includes both internal and external. It may even help soothe irritation of eczema or rosacea.)

• Soothes sore throats.

• Reduces skin redness and acne.

• Helps prevent and treats infections. (Rose water has naturally powerful antiseptic which is why it's in variety of natural and medicinal treatments! In fact, Its antiseptic and analgesic properties helped in treating the ocular disease.)

• Contains antioxidants. (Rose petals and rose oil contain a number of powerful antioxidants, which can help protect cells from damage. It was found that these antioxidants had potential lipid peroxidation inhibitory effects and that offers powerful cell protection as a result.)

• Heals cuts, scars, and burns.(Rose water has antiseptic and antibacterial properties that can help wounds heal faster. These properties can help clean and fight off infection of cuts and burns. They can also help cuts, burns, and even scars heal faster.)

• Enhances mood. (Rose water can have strong antidepressant and antianxiety properties. A study in 2011 found that the extract of rose petals can relax the central nervous system which resulted in antidepressant and antianxiety effects.)

• Relieves headaches.

• Has anti-aging properties.

• Soothes digestion problems. (In folk medicine, rose water has been used to aid in digestion and cure a upset stomach and a 2008 study found that there is some evidence that rose water can positively influence digestion and relieve an upset digestive system. It may also improve bile secretion, which can further aid digestion.)

Potential risks:

Literally nothing, the only exception is if you are allergic to rose.

Epsom salt benefits:

• Epsom salt is a natural pain reliever.

• Epsom salt is great for your body. (It helps relax muscles and relieve pain in the shoulders, neck, back and skull. For example, by relaxing the muscles surrounding the skull, the magnesium in Epsom salt may help release a headache or migraine. Sadly it doesn't remove the pain of this world but eh, at least your body feels nice.)

• Epsom salt kills bacteria. (This shit is especially useful nowadays because of the pandemic.)

Potential risks:

• Magnesium overdose. Some cases of magnesium overdose have been reported, in which people took too much Epsom salt. Symptoms include nausea, headache, lightheadedness, and flushed skin.

• Do NOT take an Epsom salt bath if you have high blood pressure, a heart or kidney condition or any circulatory problems.

Note: The bath is perfectly okay without Ebsom salt and doesn't change anything if it's gone so if your worried about it then simply don't put it in. Better safe than sorry!

Essential oil benefits:

Note: These are the actual scientific benefits not that antivax bullshit and I spent like a whole 5 minutes trying to find the real benefits because all those websites kept showing up. That's 5 minutes of my life stolen by Karen's so I hope your happy.

• Lavender oil. (Lavender is prized for its ability to calm and relax.)

• Eucalyptus oil. (Eucalyptus has a cooling effect on muscles and reduces pain and inflammation.)

• Roman and German chamomile oils. (Chamomile oils can help with pain and inflammation.)

• Peppermint oil. (Peppermint contains menthol, which has a cooling effect on sore, achy muscles. It also has analgesic, antispasmodic, and anti-inflammatory properties.)

• Helichrysum oil. (Helichrysum relieves muscle spasms, inflammation, and pain.)

• Marjoram oil. (Marjoram relaxes muscle spasms and tension. It’s known for its ability to ease pain and inflammation.)

• Rosemary oil. (Rosemary is noted for its ability to ease pain and inflammation.)

• Yarrow oil. (Yarrow is used to reduce pain and inflammation.)

• Cypress oil. (Cypress calms and relaxes muscles spasms and works to soothe inflammation.)

• Sandalwood oil. (Sandalwood alleviates muscle spasms, tension, and inflammation.)

• Ginger oil. (Ginger has a warming effect on sore muscles, which helps relieve pain.)

• Black pepper oil. (Black pepper alleviates pain by warming up your body.)

• Clove oil. (Clove is often used to treat pain. It also has a warming effect on sore muscles.)

• Clary sage oil. (Clary sage alleviates muscle tension and spasms while promoting relaxation.)

• Juniper oil. (Juniper eases tension and eliminates muscle spasms.)

• Arnica oil. (Arnica relieves inflammation and swelling while soothing the skin. It’s often recommended for bruising.)

• Lemongrass oil. (Lemongrass works quickly to reduce inflammation and swelling.)

Potential risks:

• Do NOT consume.

Essential oils are not safe to consume and can cause significant poisoning even if small amounts are ingested. If you try to eat this I will find you and spray you with febreze, don't try me.

Olive Oil benefits:

• It moisturizes your skin. (Olive oil is well known to moisturize and hydrate your skin.)

• Fights bacteria. (If you're prone to acne, using a soap made with olive oil may help decrease your acne by killing off the bacteria that causes the acne.)

• Olive oil is a natural anti aging option. (Nearly 73% of olive oil consists of monounsaturated fat, which is associated with increased skin elasticity and firmness.)

• Olive oil helps protect against sun burn. (Animal and lab studies suggest it has strong anti-inflammatory effects on the skin and may protect it from sun damage.)

Potential risks:

• Olive oil is honestly a double sided snake because while it fights acne, It also might cause acne.

To quote Dr. Gohara “Olive oil is a naturally heavy oil, making it a breeding ground for bacteria that can clog pores and cause acne.” but of course, everyone's skin is different, and some acne-prone people may have no problem doing this while others may find that it breaks them out.

• You might end up smelling like a Olive Garden if you don't rinse that off probably.

• Don't use daily, once a month is completely fine but honestly even that's kinda pushing it. Constant treatment with olive oil significantly damages the skin barrier, and therefore has the potential to promote the development of, and exacerbate existing, atopic dermatitis. This said, the use of olive oil for the treatment of dry skin and infant massage should therefore definitely be discouraged under any circumstances.

Note: Just like the Epsom salt, Olive oil is optional. You don't have to risk smelling like a fucking walking olive if you don't want to.

Now, let's move on to how much this will cost aka let's move forward to the part I hate.

Roses typically cost about $10-$15 but I have seen cheaper so don't worry.

I'm pretty sure we all know how much milk cost but if for some reason if you don't, $3-$4.

Olive oil is typically $15-$20 so thank god that's optional and besides you probably already have some in your kitchen somewhere or maybe that's just me since my mom's a retired cook but eh, you probably do so look before you leave to get it!

Do not buy essential oils in person, trust me it's fucking easier that way! Anytime I had tried to buy some in person it was like $30 for just one of them but online I got like 12 of them for the same price so just save your bank account the crying, and get it online. If you do this it should be about $15!

Epsom salt is around $10-$12 for a supply of 454 grams, depending on the pharmacy or walmart you visit.

So, let's move onto the pricing of showing yourself this much love.

If you choose to use all the ingredients then this whole real life aesthetic bath is probably at the most around $53 - $81 and that's kinda a big yikes but you can find it for cheaper depending on how and where you shop and I know this because I have done it.

If you choose not to use the Ebsom salt and olive oil which once again is perfectly okay then this should be around $28 - $43 at most because once again I have done this for cheaper before, it honestly just depends on how you shop so be smart about it!

Tip: try and find coupons through apps or newspapers if you still think you can't afford it.

This one is completely up to you but consider stopping to buy some chocolate, because I feel like that will taste even better when your treating yourself like this.

[kryssha]

Pake Ngold Bar

Andal,Joshua. The one with the cleanliest writing and notes. Thank you for being part of the B'nights + 1, even though you don’t know the meaning of our name and sometimes we depend on you. I like whenever you dance, I can see the determination in your eyes specially on contests.

Andrade,Cj. My another seatmate,thank you for the shared thoughts. And even though I don’t like your attitude sometimes or leaving me in our table,I still thank you for helping me for some things.

Antonio,Andrew.  You can be weird sometimes or it’s just that I don’t understand what you are doing. But thank you for the shared knowledge and memories since elementary.

Bacud,Kenneth. Sometimes you say things we consider harsh but those words will make you realize what you did or see what’s wrong. Anyway, thank you for the jaw-aching jokes you share with us everyday,Director. 

Ballad,Ronnie. You are one of the funniest in the class, you effortlessly make us laugh. I will never forget your white hair.

Castillo,Laurence. Learn to lower your pride sometimes, it’s not good already. I like how straightforward you are but sometimes you need to think before you speak and stop sleeping on the floor. It’s ok if you’re not an ARMY anymore, you’re not a big deal. You can fanboy on WANNA ONE but remember they’ll disband soon.

Cusipag,Freidrich. I envy you and Jemarie because of how you memorize lessons. Maybe you could give me some tips. Tell me also how your height grew higher in a year.

Dayrit,Karlos. We’re classmates since elementary but I still seldom hear your voice. Don’t be shy anymore. Speak up when you want to say something, I know there are a lot.

De la Cuesta,Aaron. Thank you for showing me your drawings, I admire those sketches. And thank you for listening to me and talking to me even if I say or do weird stuffs sometimes.

Diaz, Mark Daryll. Being easy going is ok but we are not living in a pure game. Soemtimes we need to be serious on some matters.

Herbert, Harvey Jr.. You are one of the reasons why we have a great school year, together with Niña and Karissa. The three of you started the asi and bain expressions which everyone uses now. I thank you for that contribution. I admire you for your creativity, your works amaze me everytime. 

Maguddayao, Ryan Ramde. We’re classmates since grade 1 except grade 7 but we still didn’t talk much. Well I still thank you for everything. 

Malana, Kharl Emil.  You are clingy but it’s ok I’m already used to it. I really like your company and you are easy to approach. Stay as a easy-going guy but you should sometimes get serious. And I hope you now have a concrete decision about the path you’re taking for your future.

Mallillin, Jonard. You maybe pabebe, i don’t care because i’ve been friends with Yran for three years so im already immune. But don’t change. If that’s what you are, just stay like that. I envy you because of your body, I wish soon I will that kind of body too.

Matammu, John Roe. I admire you for your writing skills. I am also happy that you join us when we invite you to play with us. You are slowly going out your comfort zone. Keep it up.

Pelagio, John Whesley. You should control your temper,chill out sometimes and minimize being too straightforward.

Portillo, Felmar. I still get surprised for your sudden jokes but those really made me laugh. Your words maybe make it shallow sometimes for us to understand easier.

Santias, Timios Raenan. I admire you for your leadership but sometimes you don’t have to take all the responsibility. Still, thank you for your efforts and for being our president. Precious Joy.

Villanueva, Kliff Yran. Just like Christelle, we are part of different squads but in the end the three of us are still together. I hope our friendship will last. I’m glad that you open up to us. When you need someone, I’m here. I’ll listen, all your words make sense anyway.

Addatu,Darylle. My seatmate (nevermind Cj hahaha). Thank you for everything you shared specially your alcohol. Thank you also for not leaving me alone in our table sometimes.

Articulo,Judee. Sometimes your weird, i can’t exactly explain why but for me there are things you do sometimes that makes you weird. Aside from that, you are a simple girl, stay like that.  

Bassig,Janae. You’re a person with sooo much energy and laughs at own joke even it is corny, but sometimes havey. Thank you for the shared thoughts and answers. Stay what you are right now. Continue being friendly and kind to everyone. And stay pretty.

Beños,Buena. My classmate since grade 7 that became a close friend in grade 10. You think she a very silent girl but when you get to know her and became close to her, you’ll see the kalog side of her. Other than that she is kind,reliable,talented and pretty. You will just fall in love with her sweet voice. And I thank her because my ears are blessed and cleaned. I hope this girl will not change because I like the way she is right now. 

Binarao,Angelica. Our Liza Soberano who still aims for a pretty body. You already have the beautiful body, you are my body goal if you didn’t know. By the way, you are the kindest person I met. I thank you for being the one I talk to whenever my tablemates leave me. Both you and Aaron. Stay pretty and continue being kind.

Bitanga,Karen. You are beautiful the way you are. Don’t mind what others tell you, they are just envy of because you have the eyebrows and they don’t have. 

Calbario,Julia. You are one those who we rely on whenever there tests and I thank you for sharing your answers. I thank you too for being my dance teacher. I really like your groove. I hope both of us soon will grow taller and you’ll have laman in your body.

Calvo,Angelica. The girl with the loudest laugh. You laugh because of her laugh. Hurt her or her friends one time, she’ll hurt you a thousand times. It’s dangerous to sit beside specially when she is kinikilig because her hit is like a plywood. She is also my twinnie because we have the same back. Calvo, I thank you for being a friend of mine. Thank you for joining me fangirling on our KPOP idols. 

Cardenas,Salve. I missed your sudden laugh. I hope you will return soon. Whatever happened that will pass soon and always remember every good memories you shared with us and I’ll remember those too.

Castro,Christelle. We’re friends for we know how long, I hope that will be longer and I wish soon you will have a sense of direction (hahahahaha). We are classmates since elementary, I don’t care if we are classmates again for the next SY ‘cause I enjoy every moment I share with you. We may have different squads but in the end we are beside each other. The connection between us, I don’t want that to break. Also keep on writing and giving your insights through writing.

Doctolero,Kristel. Oyiiiieeee char. Gubsiee, we’re kinda close when we are in grade 7 but I don’t know if you remember that. But I’m happy that we became real friends, we became closer. Even though you sometimes break the mood because of you corny hirit, it’s ok , it’s what makes us laugh louder.

Durian,Samantha. Thanks for Jungkook we became friends. But I thank you for fangirling with me over BTS. Thank you for the memories during the making of our Research Project and everything.

Gañac,Naiza. You’re so cute, you’re cheeks I love them. You’re still the Naiza I knew in elementary. I like how optimistic you are, how you always see the bright side. Stay cute and kind. I hope you won’t forget me. Goodluck in USL.

Genoveza, Jeanelle. Our Maria Clara who can do things you don’t expect her to do. We also don’t talk much but thank you for the shared answers and memories for being a member in our Research project and a classmate for 3 years. (Galing mong kumembot 😉)

Guiyab,Editha. Our little Ivy Aguas, I admire you of how you stand up for yourself despite of your height. You are David that can bring down any Goliath blocking your way. I really admire you because of that,stay like that and maybe that will be some of help in the future.

Guzman,Grace. I really like your attitude, whenever you tell a joke even if its really a joke and you thought you offended someone you would immediately say sorry. You are kind too and you always make everyone laugh. I’m very proud of you being our runway queen,Hwasa of the Philippines.

Maggay,Mica. We don’t converse much but I thank you for the reviewer in Research last grading. Thank you for being my classmate for 2 years and for the memories you shared with us. 

Manalo,Karissa. Thank you for letting us laugh even if it is mangibabain on your side. Thank you for your macaroons even if it is not free, it’s still delicious. And I’m glad that I met you as a kalog neneng and that you became an ARMY because that’s the reason why we talk often.

Matammu,Niña. I admire you being a confident girl. I admire how you stand up for yourself and staying strong whenever people let you down. I’m very much happy that you became my classmate. You are always there when best memories are made. Thank you for the memories, the laughter and kababain moments with you.

Narag,ABCD. I don’t know why some say that you are hard to approach and I don’t know why I thought like that too. When in reality, you are fun to be with. That you are still a teenage girl with dreams and worries in life. I know you are someone they should not afraid of. I admire all your writings and your speaking skills. You are a very talented girl,I hope soon you will find what you are looking for.

Raralio,Kathrina.  We are not close but I know you are kind and have a beautiful heart as you have a beautiful face. Thank you for the memories and answers and help.

Salva,Shanyleigh. You really look like Poppy. Btw, I always see you laughing and smiling so I hope the next time we see each other again, I will see those beautiful bright smile and hear your laugh. 

Tabbu,Precious. We only talk to each other when if it is about school and we are not that close but thank you for your answers when I have questions. Thank you during that time in EsP.

Tamaray,Ayra. We don’t talk much but you will see me beside you laughing at your jokes. Thank you for making us laugh and people around you happy.

Tan,Kezia. A girl with mababaw na kaligayahan. I thought she is quiet but as days go by you’ll hear her laughs and her shouting CHAMBE! CHAMBE! CHAMBE! CHAMBE! over and over. She maybe don’t know but she is amazing, she can do incredible things. She just have to take action.

Tapiru,Jemarie. I thought you are a very silent girl because back in grade 8 I seldom hear you but when we became closer, I noticed that you also say a lot of things. I am amazed on how you review our lessons, how you memorize every detail, every word in the book. You even correct us if we forgot a single word, sometimes it is just a linking verb. I wish I could that, too.

Tattao,Katreena. I admire you for being strong and keep on moving. I know it’s hard being a president, doing all major work. Stress is painted on your face but you still give us your sweet smile. Stay being sweet and don’t change.

Tuliao,Joanna. Neng, thank you for your immediate replies whenever I message you, I hope others do that also. We also became friends because of crushes who are from far far away and I thank you because I have someone to share my kilig feels.

Thank you all for every bain moments, answers, stories, laughs and tears you shared. Those will never be forgotten. 

Wishing everyone best of luck for SHS. God Bless!

Agyamannak ta nakilalak sikayo amin. I Love you all, mga asi *finger heart

[empathdespoina]

Who am I?

Unfortunately I was not able to put a title on my first post; since I was using the app on my iphone, late at night on composing that first post.

In this area, I’m going by the name Despoina.

Why that name you ask? 

Well one, I like that name being one of the few daughters of Poseidon and use it for my video games characters. But mostly it’s so no one sees my real name and try to search for me. I’ve seen enough crazy things in this world, to know smart people who are good at internet tracing on finding people. To give examples you don’t have to look to far for a few “Karens” who were caught on social media being racists as fuck and found their job and where they live; causing them to lose their job. Which is good social justice; but even in the same breath people who are doing good could be found by the wrong people...for example a Judge, that this person didn’t like her and was hoping to kill her before the upcoming case, in regards to him or someone else close to him... instead the crazy killed her son, who was trying to protect his father and she wasn’t home; and this was found out due to her address being public knowledge as a Judge, now think how dangerous that is for those who don’t want to go to jail and figure they can get away, killing the Judge to not have a court case (which is stupid, due to the fact that person would get a different Judge assigned to the case). And more recently what could have happened with the Montana Governor. So pardon me if I prefer to be called by this.

Also to be honest my photo image is probably in my mid 20s... I’m 34yrs old as this is being composed. I thought this photo of me in a bath tub under water... seem best to symbolize my account. And the fact most Empaths are comfortable around water.

When did I learn I was and Empath and fully commit to it? 

Well I oddly found out when I was briefly living in Las Vegas for a few short years and I found my path along the lines of practicing Wicca; which I felt a better connection to, compared to the religions I was brought up on. So one store I went to called the “Psychic Eye” was having a psych class lesson that was a mix of different things to learn about different psychic gift abilities. The person who was running the class, a nice old lady; who could hold her own authority, and be sweet too. I forget how exactly it started...but one day I was last to leave this short weekly session and we were talking. She asked me a few questions and one that stuck to me was “Do you feel comfortable around water?” I told her yes. She informed me that I was an empath and I could feel other people’s feelings. Now some might think...that this woman was leading me on...but the minute she told me Empath... its as if something click in my mind from my subconscious to my conscious, saying this is the piece I’m missing to better understanding myself.

Heh after that I found a meetup group for those learning about Wicca... and wasn’t necessarily working towards controlling my abilities as an empath. Since around that time... I had got rid of the toxic people around me...who wanted to draw off my energy. Yet it was this one night at a Denny’s...where the group met up, every so often. That I felt my chakra points, which I had already learned about those points and did brief reading of books about empaths; that my Heart and Solar Plexus Chakra points were being hit hard as fuck. It felt as if someone speed up my heart out of nowhere and making me feel sick to my stomach...after I had just finish eating my food, ten minutes prior. There was also someone else in that group getting hit by it too. And unfortunately for me...I didn’t have any of my stones with me to help me focus, nor be able to shield myself or be able push out this person’s energy that LITTERLY was consuming me... almost like when Venom engulfs Spider-man or any other Marvel Hero. Someone let me grab onto a stone that was a keychain on their bag.. and I was looking around as if I was in high tide with ripe tide added into it find where in the hell this was coming from. I was able to zone in on the person, almost like a radar single but in a different way. It was a young woman with a man and judging by her body expressions she was breaking up with him.... now I wasn’t that far away from them; nor was she shouting loud to draw attention to her from the restaurant.

Later in my life I would have two other moments my chakra points were taking me over... but that be a story for another time...because the experiences were way way different; especially my second experience...compared to the Denny’s one.

Later on in my life, I would on and off read e-book on amazon about empaths and surprisingly enough; there seems to be a higher level of this genre as e-books. It’s only recently during COVID, and me still without a job and having to deal with my mom doing a close fracture (meaning bone didn’t break through the skin) on her right ankle and I had to be downstairs every single day since September 9. Which wasn’t that great because my mother and I are not close (another story about that and my empath abilities being taken advantage of); so I decided to start reading books and worked on focusing again about being an Empath and controlling my abilities. I did buy four small books from Barnes and Nobles...where mostly were really really small. Majority were good and some I question the author or author pissed me off on their school of thought process on being an Empath.

At this point I would say, I am having a better grasp at shielding myself.. which took a bit to figure out; since there is NO real way on how to do it. There’s constant talk in the many books I’ve read about shielding yourself and keeping it up; to ward off the negative energy and only get a taste of the emotions to know what’s going on with the person. Yet sadly I couldn’t due that, until I asked one of the owners at “Amityville Apothecary”, who gave me pointers on a way to do it and it worked.  I will share that in another blog, down the road...I have a few points or a process on how I want to put these posts out. Kinda like teaching a lesson (was an art teacher, briefly)...in hopes of making it easier for others.

Why did you want to start this blog?

Why is because I’m starting to notice a few more people close to me and some people I interact with don’t know that they’re empaths... and unfortunately with these past four years under Trump and his encouragement to do negative things to others. Interesting enough I did a search to see what the professionals would psychoanalyze him as (which is not an official diagnosis, but based on past experience with other patients and/or studies on mental health) and he would be considered a Narcissi Personality Border. Pretty much he was obsess as a child to please his sociopathy father that showed no emotions and how he had Daddy issues and clung to Putain and North Korea’s Great Leader (yes as bad as this was to see this dictator of North Korea, I am still impress another nation’s governing person was able to talk to him; besides South Korea always trying. Hey it’s not the best thing, but I give credit on that...knowing how North Korea keeps others out so much); so these two had similarities to how his daddy was; when Trump’s father was alive. It’s like Daddy issues mixed with the crazy thought process of the main character in Talladega Nights movie on having to be the best and a person with God-like complex or spoiled child on getting their way...seeing how people are afraid to say NO to him and him getting away with a lot of things. It seriously makes me question his mental state of mind and even more once he’s out of office.

Sorry I got a bit off topic...but due to Trump being this crazy and erratic and not being punish; including those around him were afraid to say no to literally a crazy man...and to be honest seeing some people not as bad as Trump; is pretty fucken scary. Well it encourage other people who were secret assholes and sociopaths and everything else mentally wrong in the brain...to disregard society’s standard of right and wrong...just let their evil side out and more people were getting killed by others; you had people who were not white, being trailed by crazy white people. And all those people who are Trump supporters and not right in the head. All this chaos this president has created and made it even worst this year with COVID...proving he didn’t care about others and just wanted people to fight each other...so no one would care about what was happening in the world and not pay attention to the fact, he wasn’t doing his job properly as a President. Which some of us in this world were wiser to know; especially how he treated the virus, even after getting it.

So of course there’s going to be a heavier rise of negative energy, compared to the past years; and love ones around you and friends believing all the social media garbage from the republicans. And no matter what, you can’t have a healthy mind conversation about who would become President...where for example my mom thought Biden’s campaign design symbolized China...which I know she’s been using Facebook a lot lately and see all those false information and not cross checking the information to be true and her friend who survived cancer...also on facebook; and I know this friend is going through chemical brain...because I’ve seen it before in others and how it changes the person completely.

And I have been hearing, from those I play dungeons and dragons; and them feeling things much harder. And then recently talking to the vet, due taking the older family dog, Buddy for a visit, and for me to realize that she was an animal empath; based on the comments at this animal hospital she works for on being nicknamed “Dr. Death” due to how gentle she is on putting the animal down; and she feels the animals’ pain...and yet she doesn’t know how to control it and she’s got to be in her late 50s. Then there is the Vet’s daughter, who feels people’s energies far much harder than me...that she’s thought of suicide a few times, visiting the hospitals due to that and putting her on psych meds...when the case is; is that if her daughter was taken to a positive area, she be alright. No psych meds required or being in a psych ward.

So honestly I want this blog to help other people, to make them feel less crazy about themselves and not give into negativity on being told how different you as a person reacts with your feelings, compared to others. And lastly, I think there’s a higher need of people learning about empaths and knowing if they are full blown or have some abilities; because we need to find a way to control the raging storm in the USA. Plus it helps bring you to a better understanding of yourself; since we are such complex people. So come along this journey with me as I teach you about Empaths and the abilities associated with this gift.

So blessed be and may the sun give you the strength to rise for the day; as the moon soothes you at night and your troubles away.