#and they also share the argument that not everything is black and white

[starkholme]

Oh but the amazing multi-talented tall blonde with a dead brother also has my heart

[jalphisrealtrustme]

In defense of Jack Merridew (alternatively titled: my classmates did not read the book)

I don’t like it when people categorise any lord of the flies characters as “good” or “bad” (or in any other types of media, really) and it’s especially bad in class discussions. My classmates always say things like “Jack is crazy guys!” Or “Jack is evil!”, and it annoys me to no end. Are you trying to tell me that you read lotf off Sparksnotes? Anyways, these characters are too complex to be categorised into a single, black and white label, so I think picking up various traits based on the text is a better way of understanding the characters.

Two characters a lot of people like to put these labels on are Jack and Ralph. In my class Jack is seen as a batshit insane demon while Ralph is an angel with a shimmering halo. This is another time I ask them, “have you read the book with your eyes closed??”. When compared to Ralph, Jack does seem objectively, more chaotic, but that isn’t seeing the full picture yet. Today I’m going to clear up a few misunderstandings my classmates often have with Jack to prove that he is not in fact, evil.

1. Jack constantly bullies Piggy throughout the book

While it isn’t wrong to say this, he does bully Piggy quite a lot, I don’t think this is a valid point when discussing how he’s evil, because all of the boys, including Ralph, mistreated Piggy. This argument can’t be made solely for Jack. I would’ve gone on to explain how Ralph doesn’t treat Piggy that well either, but all this mistreatment is arguably a result of Piggy’s own decisions. Being a character that heavily relies on adults, Piggy decides to share the very name he doesn’t want people to call him to Ralph immediately. Since they’re Eton type school boys, of course this wouldn’t go piggy’s way. Him being bullied is a result of his own behaviour in the book, which doesn’t justify Jack’s actions, but explains it.

2. Jack is responsible for multiple deaths

This is another point my classmates often make. A pattern I’ve noticed is that they tend to weed out things that other characters are also guilty of, and direct it at only Jack. This is very frustrating because the main deaths in this book (Simon and Piggy) are results of the setting’s effect on all the boys. When discussing Piggy’s death in particular, Jack isn’t even the one who directly causes it, albeit he doesn’t seem very against it either. Anyhow, It’s not as if Jack purposefully intended these deaths, or even directly caused them, they are all at fault in some way or another. Jack is responsible, but not solely responsible for them. It’s just easier to point the blame to him because he’s the face of the hunters.

3. Jack is inherently evil

I think this is the most outrageous point by far. First off, this is literally proven wrong at the start of the book, where Jack struggled to kill any pigs. It’s shown when he, Ralph and Simon explore the island, in which he hesitates to do so, and another scene where he fails yet again when Ralph is building the shelters. Perhaps this is because British school boys were not taught how to hunt, but I believe it also shows how Jack is just another scared boy, and not inherently evil. There aren’t any other factors that stop him from it other than himself, making it different from Roger’s case where nothing other than societal norms stop him from throwing rocks at the littluns. I’m not saying that Jack is completely innocent, but he is most definitely not inherently evil. Despicable, apathetic characters that are evil at heart do not struggle to kill a pig.

Conclusion

Jack is as controversial as he is misunderstood. While he does harmful things in the book that lead to death and injuries, I believe that he shouldn’t be the only one responsible. Everything that happened on the island is a result of the setting’s effect on the boys, so we cannot direct the responsibility at a singular character. Jack is not inherently evil, nor is he a despicable villain (yes I’m talking to you villains wiki,) and if that’s what you got from the book please read again.

Side note

This is my first post ever so I hope I did okay and didn’t sound too arrogant. It’s mainly directed at my classmates. I know people can have different opinions, and you don’t have to agree with me, but please read the book at the very least. I might make a proper post about defending Jack in the future, but this is all I have for now. Thanks for reading!

[padfootagain]

Love in Verses (IX)

Chapter 9 : 'I think I will always be lonely in this world, where the cattle graze like a black and white river- where the vanishing lilies melt, without protest, on their tongues'

Hi! Here is another chapter! Saoirse is back, and our babies are making some evil plans…

I hope you like this new chapter! Tell me what you think!

****

Pairing: Hozier x fem!reader (professor!AU)

Warnings: slow burn, angst, hurt, hurt/comfort, tooth-rotting fluff in later chapters, some scenes in later chapters will have heavy sexual themes even if it’s not explicit nsfw description, so minors here

Summary: Your life seems perfect. You're engaged, your career is thriving as you become an assistant professor at Trinity College, and this Andrew Hozier-Byrne you're sharing an office with seems to be a nice guy you hope to call a friend soon. Life seems to be smiling at you... until everything goes sour. When your fiancé breaks up with you, your perfect world shatters. And when your colleague also gets his heart broken soon after, your shared office seems to be a curse rather than a blessing. But Andrew seems determined to mend your broken hearts... Will things finally go according to plan?

Word Count: 1798

Masterlist for the series – Hozier’s masterlist – Main masterlist

Lilies

I have been thinking about living like the lilies that blow in the fields.

They rise and fall in the edge of the wind, and have no shelter from the tongues of the cattle,

and have no closets or cupboards, and have no legs. Still I would like to be as wonderful

as the old idea. But if I were a lily I think I would wait all day for the green face

of the hummingbird to touch me. What I mean is, could I forget myself

even in those feathery fields? When Van Gogh preached to the poor of coarse he wanted to save someone--

most of all himself. He wasn't a lily, and wandering through the bright fields only gave him more ideas

it would take his life to solve. I think I will always be lonely in this world, where the cattle graze like a black and white river--

where the vanishing lilies melt, without protest, on their tongues-- where the hummingbird, whenever there is a fuss, just rises and floats away.

Mary Oliver

So, this was Pr. Hozier- Byrne…

H-B, or Hozier like everyone on campus seemed keen to call him. Saoirse understood the hype around the man though.

His voice was soft and lulling, his explanations clear, his love for his work evident. He seemed nice, answered all the questions, had something a little shy about him that seemed to quieten when he was teaching. He exuded confidence then, on the contrary, and despite the softness in his tone, it was impossible not to listen to him babbling away about Yeats. The fact that he was handsome was also a strong argument in his favour, Saoirse couldn’t deny it. Ridiculously tall, curls falling over his shoulders, trimmed beard and glasses over green eyes… She sighed as she stared at him, sporting a grey tweed suit, turning to write something over on the board. And that deep voice… damn…

She shook herself, focused on the lecture again, took note of the date her teacher was writing on the white board. The first class was an introduction to Yeats’ life and work, the study of his texts would start next week. For now, Saoirse was carefully writing down dates and historical events and the name of the woman he would spend most of his life pinning over. And she wondered if Hozier was pinning over a woman too, if he was married, if he longed for love, if that was why he seemed to love poetry so much, because he saw his own longing in other people’s words…

She shook herself again, wrote down something about Lady Gregory and the Abbey Theatre. She was projecting her own feelings over that tall stranger, she reckoned. A dangerous activity, if there ever had been one.

Apparently, more students had chosen the class about science-fiction, but Saoirse had definitely no regrets. If the topic seemed more complicated, her teacher was determined to pass on his love for poetry. She was grateful to Gabi for convincing her to choose this class, was already happy to have chosen his lesson about modernism for the second half of the year.

Indeed, she could see that Gabi had done well in recruiting for this class. Most of the students Saoirse had seen with Gabi during orientation week were now listening to H-B explaining the use of theatre to create a common Irish identity that worked hand in hand with the growing anger that would lead to revolution. And indeed, Sean and Donald were there too. If Donald had settled a couple of rows behind her, Sean was sitting next to her, actually. He had recognised her as soon as he had entered the room, had headed straight towards her and asked if he could sit next to her. And Saoirse was happy to have someone she knew in this class too, even if they had spoken but a few hours during orientation week. She hoped they could become friends, she felt a little lonely in this new adult world.

 The lecture went on and was over too soon, a feeling Saoirse had not been expecting for any of her lectures. As she packed up her things, she noticed that Gabi was at the door, eyeing the students inside, and she gave Saoirse a wave when their gazes met. Sean and Saoirse hurried out of the room.

“Hey! How are my wee students doing?” Gabi asked with a grin.

“Doing okay, so far!” Saoirse answered with a smile. “Didn’t even get lost this morning!”

“What an achievement!” Gabi laughed good-heartedly. “Saw that you were having a class with H-B this morning, my next lecture starts in fifteen minutes, just down the hall. Thought I’d come see you all, check on you.”

“We’re fine, thanks,” Sean nodded with a smile.

Donald joined them as well, and they chatted happily for a couple of minutes.

“There’s a party planned at the end of the week, to celebrate the beginning of the year. You should come!”

“Huh… sure! Sounds good.”

If Saoirse was feeling a little shy, Donald was already asking questions about the drinks and the music.

Gabi was about to answer him when she was distracted by someone walking behind Saoirse and Sean, and she immediately grinned.

“Good morning, professor!”

The younger students turned around and politely smiled at their teacher, while he beamed at Gabi.

“Well, well, well… if it isn’t our favourite troublemaker…” he teased, eyes sparkling with mischief. “How are you doing, Gabi? How was your summer?”

“It was good! Busy, lots of things to plan to make sure I can turn all our new recruits into proper menaces!”

Andrew laughed, shaking his head playfully.

“Oh, I bet you have tons of ideas for that… but don’t scare our students away too soon, alright?”

He quickly checked his watch.

“Gotta run, but it was nice seeing you. Will I see you on Thursday then?”

“You know me… how could I say no to a class about protest poetry?”

Andrew’s smile brightened even more.

“Grand. I’m glad to have you as a student again this year.”

He excused himself then, bidding all four students a nice day, and they stared as he walked away, his long legs devouring the distance between the classroom and the exit of the building in mere seconds.

“He’s so nice!” Saoirse sighed. “Thanks for recommending this class to us.”

“He is. And Christ… he’s a sight for sore eyes.”

They all laughed at that, and went on to chat for a while longer, until Gabi had to head to her own class.

Saoirse could feel it, it would be a good year.

Andrew hurried back to your office, knowing that you were waiting for him. And indeed, when he arrived, you had already taken your sandwich out of your bag and were focused on your computer screen.

You greeted him with a smile when he quickly stepped into the room.

“Sorry, ran into a student I know well. Okay… what are our options?”

Andrew took off his vest, took out of his bag his own sandwich and his water bottle, before pushing his chair next to yours so he could look at your screen as well.

Frank was asking for advices about flower arrangements, for the wedding but also for a party they wanted to organise a few weeks before the wedding, some kind of huge get-together with family and friends to celebrate their engagement. Sam and Frank seemed to treat the event as some kind of rehearsal for their big day, and wanted to decorate the place in a similar way they would use for the ceremony.

A perfect occasion to raise chaos and mayhem…

“Frank has already narrowed down our choices… meaning that he took out anything with carnations or calla lilies, he doesn’t like those. I’ve tried to probe to know Sam’s taste, but he seems clueless.”

“Are we surprised by that?” Andrew mumbled under his breath, something bitter in his tone. “Sam’s favourite flowers are white lilies, and she hates pink and yellow roses.”

“Okay, so… can we find any pink and yellow roses in those…”

Andrew chuckled before taking a bite of his sandwich.

“You’re kind of terrifying, Machiavelli…”

“One of my favourite books is about getting stuck in hell and watching people being tortured,” you reminded him, making Andrew laugh and glimpse over at the picture you had hung on the wall.

“Right… my bad. I shouldn’t underestimate your evil nature, clearly.”

“Unless you’re ready to face the consequences…” you added with false threat in your voice, while you were clearly struggling to hold back your laughter.

“Don’t turn me into anything… unnatural.”

You froze, turned to him.

“Was that a Lord of the Rings reference?” you asked with utter surprise evident on your features.

“Obviously,” Andrew smiled, something cheeky and cute at the same time, clearly pleased with himself.

“God… I love the Lord of the Rings!”

“Who doesn’t?!”

“Frank.”

Andrew huffed, but said nothing. He thought the words all the same… what a tasteless gobshite…

“Why am I not surprised?” was his answer instead, and you chuckled at his words.

“Yeah… he does have a few red flags,” you conceded.

“Hmm… but the fact that we’re plotting together against our exes is kind of a red flag, isn’t it? A scarlet one if I’ve ever seen one…”

“Is it worse than not liking the Lord of the Rings?”

Andrew couldn’t hold back the smile that tugged at his mouth.

“Nah, we’re good,” he joked, making you laugh.

And he liked the sound. Almost three weeks had passed since Sam and Frank had announced their engagement and Andrew and you were spending more and more time together. You had planned some things to get to talk to your exes, or just as you were doing today, to mess up with their wedding. Which meant seeing you outside the university, eating his lunch with you, talking over the phone sometimes…

And Andrew liked it. He liked that your dynamic was back on a friendly rhythm instead of something merely professional. You were nice, and hilarious, and so fucking smart. He hoped you would remain friends after all this. He hoped you would become good friends, with a bit of time.

“Oh, this one is so ugly…” you giggled at the picture on your screen, something pink and over the top, with a lot of roses…

“Oh, yeah… that’s the one. Send him this one.”

“Frank asked me for a favour by the way… he wanted me to go fishing for information about Sam’s tastes in flowers.”

“You mean… asking me about it?”

You nodded, and Andrew let out a wry laugh.

“What did you tell him?”

“That I wouldn’t have the opportunity to ask you today as our classes would keep us busy. Don’t worry, you’ll be able to play the perfect boyfriend and come to the rescue, and offer to use her favourite flowers.”

“You’re the best, you know that?”

“Of course!”

You both laughed, eating your sandwiches. And then the conversation drifted away from Sam and Frank, settled on your classes, on work, on the movie he had watched on Sunday, on the walk you had taken with Siobhán and how much you would miss her when she would be gone.

And Andrew still felt a hole in his chest, the weight of something hollow, of a piece missing, because of Samantha. But when he was with you, the grief didn’t seem so heavy, the pain so aching. The emptiness in his heart seemed a little less empty when you were around. God knew he missed Samantha, that he wanted her back. But at least, you made him feel human again. He reckoned you were the only one to make him properly laugh these days.

[foreingersgod]

could you do paige w a black gf hcs??

A/N: i wanted to say real quick that i am white and have also not been in a relationship with a black woman before! so please feel free to give me feedback or let me know if i wrote something that was inappropriate! the last thing i want is to make anyone uncomfortable <3

Paige Bueckers x BlackGf!Reader Headcannons

quite literally obsessed with you

will not let you go out alone, always wants to be with you

like i mean everywhere, whether it’s to go your hair done or to go grocery shopping, she’s always asking to go with you

hell, even if you just want to shower, she’s asking to join you

always sends you things that remind her of you

“saw this makeup look on instagram and i think you should try it”

you literally can’t buy anything because she’s always paying for you

“put your card away, that’s my job”

matches your attitude 100%, she’s so sassy with you

“fine, i can pout too, you know”

loves little touches of affection, she loves when you hug her from behind or hold her hand under the table

worships the ground you walk on, everything about you drives her crazy

you’d buy her a promise ring or matching necklaces or something like that and she’d never take it off

she’s a sucker for when you wear her jersey

loves kissing you: lips, cheeks, forehead, thighs, literally every inch of you

always finds you after her games

“can we just go home? i really need you right now”

the most jealous person you’ve ever met, always sneaking kisses and dangerous touches just so that people know who you belong to

she’s also such a good listener

if you’re having a bad day or get in an argument with someone, she’s always there to let you rant

she makes sure you always feel comfortable talking to her about everything

if you ever ask for her to teach you how to play basketball or for her to really talk about anything she likes in general, she goes all out and gets so excited to share it with you

she’s tough on the outside, but with you? she’s the softest, cheesiest person you’ve ever met

[writterings]

i've recently started going to school again to get a second undergraduate and last time i was in school was 2018, and it feels like my classmates this time around are soooo much more nervous and uncertain than my classmates before and maybe that's just a difference in the degree type but i've been hearing from teachers that there's been a noticeable shift these past few years. Have you noticed that too?

so i will give the disclaimer that this is only my first semester teaching ever but during my gap year between undergrad and grad school (i'm technically only a TA atm), i still worked in higher education.

i think a lot of why these students are so nervous is because quarantine literally traumatized a generation in the sense where intense isolation, no matter how many of your material needs are met, still fucks with your head a lot and you come out very socially awkward and afraid of people.

i also think the current state of online everything-needs-to-be-reactionary-and-extreme-and-clean-cut-black-and-white culture has spilled over into real life since everyone and their mother now has tiktok. and since no one wants to be in an argument, they try to be as inoffensive as possible, since they have seen how any minor internet comment can turn into harassment campaigns.

i also just think some of it is because this is their way of being polite. one good thing about widespread internet usage is that people can share their experiences more, especially about ways we can behave to be kinder. however a lot of young people confuse kindness with permissiveness because that's literally how adults expected them to act their entire lives. and now that they're adults, they just haven't learned how to be kind while NOT being worried that they will say the wrong or offensive thing.

[misc-obeyme]

what are your thoughts on the cheeky lil cow boy (belphie)

Ah yes, Belphegor, a bit of a polarizing character in general, I think. People seem to either really love him or really hate him.

Generally speaking, I think he's deceptively cunning, but not in a malicious way. He's pretty chill most of the time, but he'll do stuff like manipulate his brothers to get them to do his chores for him. Except for Beel, of course. And really they are a unit. Belphie is always ready to fight for Beel and vice versa. But I also really like how they just quietly support each other. Someone will say oh Belphie fell asleep in this weird place and Beel will immediately be like I'll go get him. Or Belphie will be like we need to make sure we bring food to this thing because Beel will get hungry. Like they're just always thinking about each other and I think that's really sweet.

Belphie will also call people out if he wants to. If he has no reason to keep it to himself, he'll straight up tell you if he thinks you're doing something questionable. And his issues with Diavolo indicate to me that he has a problem with authority, like he would be more defiant if he wasn't also lazy lol.

Inevitably, though, we can't really talk about Belphie without discussing the Lesson 16 Incident. At this point, I think most people are aware of those events, but just in case, I'll put the rest of this under a read more. And also it's kinda lengthy, so be forewarned lol.

First of all, I have to say that I was honestly so confused about what was happening in Lesson 16 that I didn't fully understand that Belphie had killed MC. I had to read it multiple times and then read what other people were saying about it. So I never had an intense reaction to it.

But to be fair, it wasn't like we didn't know there was something weird going on the whole time. I knew it was the youngest brother locked up there and it seemed like it was wrong, so that made Lucifer out to be the bad guy of the situation. Then it turns out that wasn't the case at all.

Belphie is manipulative. That's just part of his character. And when he has something that he's trying to do, he's going to use that skill to get it.

Some people are still mad at Lucifer for locking Belphie up at all. Some people are obviously quite upset that Belphie killed MC.

But here's what I think.

It isn't that black and white. Aside from the confusing time travel shenanigans, this event is one of the most realistic things that has ever happened in the story.

Belphie shared Lilith's love of humans. Together they wanted to learn more about the human world. It would be easy for him to blame himself for her interest and what ultimately led to her death. But even if he didn't, he saw the way that it tore his entire family apart.

It wasn't just that his dad got mad at his sister and they had an argument or something.

It was that his dad was going to end his sister's existence and in defiance, his older brother rebelled. And there was a war. This was not some squabble. This was siblings fighting siblings.

Belphie watched his brothers and sisters fight and hurt and kill each other and it all came back to Lilith falling in love with a human.

And then he fell with his brothers, cast out of his home, losing everything he's ever known. His brothers are changing and suffering just like he is.

They don't talk about it. They clearly all keep secrets regarding it still, things that don't come out until MC comes along. Which is supposedly thousands of years after the fact (at least in OG). That means Belphie has had all that time to let that trauma fester. To let it twist inside him. To let it morph into the one thought that became most dominant: that humans are bad.

Is that a fair assessment of what happened? No, of course not. But we're dealing with a war traumatized fallen angel that clearly hasn't worked through any of these feelings in thousands of years.

And then he defies Diavolo and Lucifer panics.

Yes, Lucifer should have found a better way of handling it. But remember what happened to him when he defied authority? He is trying his best to protect Belphie. He is trying not to lose another sibling. He is also still traumatized and therefore overreacting out of fear.

And so was Belphie.

Imagine being locked up like that and a human comes along. A human is free among your brothers to do whatever terrible things humans do while you're powerless to stop them. Of course he's going to try to manipulate that human into setting him free. Of course he's then going to eliminate them because humans have been historically bad for his family.

I read this situation as Belphie being both afraid and angry that a human - the thing he's convinced himself was the main cause of his sister's death - has become so close to his brothers and has the access to his family that could cause another rift among them.

You could say that it was Belphie's idea to get MC to have all the pacts, but that isn't really true, either. By the time MC meets Belphie, they already have a pact with two of his brothers. He sees them already starting to worm their way into his family. And he knows that the only way to get out of the attic is to encourage it. He doesn't really have a choice.

Maybe everyone can now call me a Belphie apologist. But I'm always coming at this from an outside fictional standpoint. I'm like listen he's a flawed character and it's actually pretty realistic of him to react this way considering the circumstances.

However, he did kill MC. And that's why my own MC, Ciaran, has issues with Belphie for a while. It's also traumatic to have someone kill you, so it isn't like I'm saying MC should just forget about it or forgive Belphie immediately. I think it probably should have taken a lot more time for MC to trust Belphie again. Certainly that part of the story was a bit rushed.

But they're dealing with lesson format constraints and also it's a silly otome game so I guess fully formed character arcs can't be expected. Especially since we aren't dealing with routes and they have to cram everybody into the same set of lessons.

In the end, I think Belphie is an interesting and complex character. I think there's a lot of space to explore more about this particular aspect of him, but due to the format of the media and the lack of routes, his more in depth character arc just doesn't exist.

I personally have no problem with Belphie as a character, but I also understand why people don't like him. I am always of the opinion that everyone is free to love or hate or have any emotions at all about fictional characters lol. This is just my personal opinion.

[john-get-the-salt]

Awakening (w/Edward Cullen)

Imagine: Waking up in a strange place and coming to meet a very strange family; the cullens.

Contains: not Bella, cause fuck Bella

Warnings: Mentions of past injury, past assault

The search for a missing local ended last night in tragedy. (Y/N) (Y/L/N), a Forks native, was out celebrating her 25th birthday last weekend when she got separated from her friends. Her body was discovered down by the river just last night, 4 days after her disappearance. A cause of death has not officially been released but police have confirmed that they do believe foul play was involved. Police are asking anyone with any information or tips to call immediately at the number below.

Carlisle turned the news report off, his stomach uneasy. His family sat around him, sharing in his discomfort.

"We don't know for sure it was one of us," Emmett was the first to speak.

"We can’t know for sure it wasn't." Edward countered.

"We'll be extra careful. Go hunting in groups or all together. For all we know it was a human."

"And if it was? Will we still ignore It?" Edward hated the idea.

"What the humans do is none of our business," Rosalie spit.

"Even if one is going around killing innocents?"

"Please, not this again," Esme begged.

Edward turned away from his family. It wasn't right, but he never won that argument.

—

Cold.

That was the first sense that came back to you.

A startling cold that seeped into your skin and chilled your bones. You felt like you were frozen solid, but a wiggle of your fingers and toes quickly dismissed that idea.

Your eye open–at least you thought they did. You saw nothing but pitch black and wondered if you'd actually opened your eyes at all.

Maybe you were in hell.

You wanted to reach up, to feel for your eyes and make sure you were all still there, but your hand barely raised an inch before hitting something hard. Your knuckles ached something terrible as a clang filled your ears.

Metal?

You raised your hand again, slowly, and let your fingers brush against the surface.

Metal.

The panic began to set in as your hands felt nothing but cold and smooth metal all around you, encompassing you. A swift stomp of your foot found you nothing but another loud bang. It was as if you were laying in a small metal box.

You wracked your brain, desperate for any memories or clues as to how you get there.

And then you remembered.

It was your birthday. Your friends took you out downtown to celebrate. Barhopping, karaoke, way too much food. It was fun. But you also remember losing your friends in a crowded bar, getting hot and overwhelmed and anxious. You remember stepping outside for some fresh air, hearing something behind you and–

You remembered everything now.

You forced yourself to take a deep breath. Falling apart could come later, once you got home and felt safe.

Kicking your feet again you paused at the creaking of metal that seemed to follow.

Bingo.

You kicked again and again and again with both feet, giving it everything you had, until finally the metal gave away and your prison was flooded with din light.

Nearly crying in relief, you stretched out your legs and hooked your feet onto something so you could pull yourself out. Thankfully you rolled out relatively easily, the metal underneath you sliding out without problem.

Once free, you sat up slowly. Your body was stiff and sore, and you rolled your shoulders in an attempt to loosen up. Looking down at yourself you were taken aback. Your skin looked filthy and blood was caked underneath your fingernails. New scars peppered your arms and legs, though they were all faded and appeared to be old. Your hair hung loosely and you were in an itchy white medical gown. You couldn't identify anything that belonged to you.

Swinging your legs around you tested the floor with your feet, slowly standing. As you did so you looked around at the room.

It was large, lined with beds covered in white sheets. You turned to the box from which you escaped and couldn't contain the gasp that left your lips. The wall towered above you with rows upon rows of small metal doors. You had just crawled out of one of these doors, luckily, on the ground level. But they reached up, almost to the ceiling.

You reached out with a a shaky hand, pushing back the tray you just climbed off of. It slid back into the wall and the door closed behind it with a quiet click.

A morgue. You had just climbed out of a morgue.

You needed to get out of there now.

Your bare feet slipped on the clean floor, making you curse. Where were your shoes?

You hurried past the beds, trying not to think about what could be under them. You stopped at a hallway, whipping your head to the left and right. How were you supposed to know which way was out?

You were about to go right when something stopped you. A small whisper, a tug. Left it seemed to murmur, as a breeze blowing past your ear.

You didn't have time to investigate or worry about hearing strange things. You had no clue which way the exit was so left you went. It ended up being the right choice as further down the hall you could see a set of doors leading outside. You took off into a sprint, pushing the doors aside like they were nothing.

You took a deep breath of the fresh air, wincing again at the ache in your throat and pounding in your head. It was nighttime out, the only light coming from the moon and flickering streetlights. You stumbled away from the morgue, disoriented.

Where were you? How did you get home?

Your house. Home. Did you go home? What were you supposed to do? Were you dead? Why were you in a morgue?

Your head pounded as you pushed your feet off of the hard pavement and took off down the street.

Into the woods, a whisper curled around your ear.

You weren't sure you wanted to be seen running down the street covered in blood, and this mysterious new voice had been right once before. So at the first break in buildings you took off towards the woods that surrounded the town.

Scared and alone you entered the forest. Your bare feet tripped on rocks and roots as you ran but you kept going. You just kept going and going, naively hoping you could simply run away from whatever was happening to you.

You weren't sure how long you ran. You weren't even sure if you were still breathing. It didn't feel like it.

You began to cry, wishing you could forget again. Wishing you could forget the feeling of their cold hands all over you, the whispers and sharp smirks and pain. Just constant pain for days. You remember feeling relieved when they finally dumped you down by the river, left you barely clothed and empty inside. You thought you were finally free to die in peace.

You slowed your pace, pushing through bushes and past trees while tears continued to stream down your face. You wanted to stop, wanted to collapse and curl into a ball of the forrest floor. But the new voice inside your head whispered you on, told you to keep going. And you weren't about to stop listening now.

So you continued on fumbling in the darkness. Occasionally there would be a break in the tree line and the moon would shine down upon you, illuminating the woods and shadows at your heels. The moon seemed to guide you somehow, seemed to pull on your shadows and help you move through the underbrush, commanding your feet to just keep going.

You were so tired. But you kept moving, never stopping, never faltering. And the night got darker and darker as you disappeared into the heart of the woods.

—

"Edward."

The young vampire turned to his adoptive mother who stood behind him.

'We're all going hunting tonight. Carlisle thinks it would be best to keep up our strength, just in case."

Just in case we need to take care of an unruly vampire, was the rest of Esme's unspoken sentence.

Edward nodded, standing to join his family. The Cullen's gathered themselves and were nearly out the door when Edward froze, causing Rosalie to nearly run into him.

"What are you-" Rose cut off her annoyed remark at the look on his face. "Edward? What's wrong?"

"There's someone outside."

"Who?"

Alice gasped, eyes going wide and unblinking. Jasper grabbed her hand, holding it softly as she went through her vision.

"Edward, who it is?" Esme was worried, grabbing for Carlisle's hand.

"The girl on the news.....(y/n)."

"The one who was murdered?"

Edward nodded, eyebrows furrowed as he was bombarded with thoughts. "She's confused and scared. She woke up in a morgue-"

He sucked in his breath just as Alice broke from her vision.

"We were right," she confirmed. "It was a group of vampires. They...did terrible things to her."

Alice was on the verge of tears and Rosalies face got stone cold, her fists clenched.

"She's turned?"

Edward nodded at his father figure. "But I don't think she knows. She needs help."

"We'll help her, right?"

Dr. Cullen nodded at his wife. "Of course. We'll help her with whatever she needs. Edward and Alice, you two have the best chance of peacefully and safely bringing her in. Go, and call if you need help."

The two nodded and slipped out of the house quietly.

--

You walked for what felt like hours, the woods never ending.

But finally, finally, you finally saw a bit of light up ahead. You felt a push and you hurried, diving under some brush and finding yourself in front of a large house.

It was mostly made of glass, light pouring out from every clear wall and window. It was like a beacon as you stepped closer. There seemed to be no one home, no one around but you. You took this opportunity to finally rest and sink to your knees in the clearing around the house.

This would all be a lot easier if you had just died like you were supposed to. You didn't want to be here, you wanted to be dead. You wanted to be somewhere you could no longer feel the ghost of hands of all over you, of pain and screams and blood spilling.

You rested your head in your hands, shoulders shaking as you finally unraveled and began to sob.

"Hello?"

You jerked up, feet moving you back towards the woods.

"Wait!"

You froze a few steps away from the cover of the trees. You refused to turn around, terrified of who or what you would find.

"I'm sorry for trespassing, I'm leaving now."

"Are you ok, (Y/N)?" The voice spoke again, sounding like a woman.

You still didn't turn around.

"I-how do you know my name?"

"We can help you."

You shook your head, taking another step towards the safety of the trees. "I don't want any trouble, I'm just going to leave."

"Please don't leave, (y/n)."

You stilled at the new voice. It was a man, but it was...different. It was soft and seemed familiar.

him him him him him, your new voice whispered over and over again, nearly frantic.

You turned, finally looking back at the voices. A young man and woman stood in the clearing, lit up by the house behind them. The woman was short with a dark pixie cut, and the man-

him him him....that's him

You locked eyes with the man and the world seemed to still. He had piercing eyes that you swore looked right through you, eyes you could stare at forever. Everything seemed to get sharper, more in focus, and the light coming from behind him got brighter. His whole self seemed to call you. Your feet itched to push towards him, your soul seemed to sing, which you didn't even know was possible and-

edward

"Edward?" You tested the name on your lips and instantly liked the way it felt to say, the way it rolled off your tongue like it was always meant to.

The man seemed frozen as he looked at you. He looked vulnerable, his eyes wide and lips parted just slightly.

edward cullen, the voice continued to whisker and you found yourself wishing it would say more.

"My name is Alice Cullen."

You tore your gaze away from Edward and to the young woman. As soon as you did the world seemed to get a bit duller, the clearing seemed darker somehow, unfocused again.

"And this is my brother-

"Edward Cullen," you spoke softly, "right?"

Alice nodded slowly, "How did you know?"

"I-I heard it, I think. There's a voice, telling me things."

alice cullen.....she see's things she shouldn't....ask her

You gulped. "Do-do you know what's wrong with me? I thought I was dead. I-I was laying down by the river, it was so cold." You sniffed, desperately trying to keep the tears at bay.

"I prayed for it to be over, I thought I was finally going to die but I woke up and I don't know what happened. I just wanted to die and forget. I just want to die."

Your legs wobbled and gave out under you. You waited for your knees to hit the ground below you but the impact never came.

You looked up and found yourself face to face with that man, Edward. He'd caught you and had an arm wrapped around your waist to keep you upright. You opened your mouth to thank him when you caught a glance at your arm.

Your lips parted in surprise and if you'd been breathing before you definitely stopped now. Your skin, under a patch of moonlight coming through the trees, was glistening. Though glistening hardly did it justice, it looked as if crystals had been ground up and painted onto your skin carefully. Your hands, your arms, your legs. You were....sparkling.

you are different now.....just like them

You swatted at the air by your ear, growing tired of the voice.

"You have a gift," Edward spoke softly.

You met his eyes once again, "A gift?"

"You said you hear things, right? Things you shouldn't?"

vampires.......he's a vampire

Your lips trembled. You wanted him to be wrong, you didn't want to be glowing or hearing voices or be different.

you are just like them...just like him

"No!" You cried at the voice, stumbling away from Edward and falling back to the ground.

“Make this voice be quiet, I don’t want to know!”

once you hear, it cannot be unheard

“When did it start?” Alice asked softly as Edward approached you again slowly, as if you were a frightened doe.

“Right after I woke up. It….led me here.”

Here is where you were meant to be

“I don’t understand!”

You felt a peace flow over you, and another man with shoulder length hair appeared behind the girl, Alice.

As Alice sees, you hear

“Is it still speaking?” She asked.

You nodded and repeated it’s last sentence.

As the girl furrowed her brow and muttered behind her shoulder to the man, you turned and met Edward's eyes. "I feel like I know you. Have we...met before?"

He shook his head, kneeling down to your level. "No, we haven't. But I can help explain everything, we both can. Would you like to come inside?"

Safe. He is safe. The Cullen’s are safe.

You thought for a moment, before nodding. What more could they do when the worst had already happened to you? You allowed Edward to reach for your hand. You took it, standing up with him.

Edward's eyes, you noted, shone like molten gold. You wondered if your eyes would ever shine again or if they would remain dull and lifeless as you felt now.

His grip on your hand tightened as you two walked over to Alice and the nameless stranger.

"I swear that I will do anything and everything within my power to help you."

And looking into his eyes, you believed every word he said.

him.....he is yours and you are his

"I know."

[theromanticscrooge]

Lord Boxman, the Lonely Tyrant of Boxmore

Note: I've been wanting to return to writing beefy character essays for awhile and I was finally able to start back up after rewatching O.K. K.O.

Lord Boxman started out wanting to build a robot army strong enough to defeat POINT. Look at his early interactions with his first sapient robot Mr. Logic. This was his original business partner; someone he 'invented' to help fill in what gaps and blind spots he might have. Someone he wanted active feedback and suggestions from. Boxman himself was a lot more open-minded, patient, and collaborative at this point in time. He immediately called Mr. Logic his 'best friend' and treated him with warm, open affection.

Mr. Logic advised Boxman that he shouldn't immediately jump at his goal because he didn't yet have the manpower or resources to pose a legitimate threat. Instead, Mr. Logic proposed using Boxman's inventing abilities to tweak and improve upon his current inventions, to sell these inventions to other villains, and build a villain supply chain store. With time, hard work, and concentrated efforts, Boxman would eventually have the resources and power to successfully launch an attack later. It was a big-picture, long-haul plan. The Mr. Logic-Boxman team led to building the main Boxmore company headquarters and establishing Boxman as a trusted robot minion supplier.

Unfortunately, Boxman isn't a big-picture man. He didn't stop to consider that heroes could also start up and maintain a hero supply chain. Suddenly, POINT wasn't an abstract, 'someday' goal-post anymore. The heroes were right in Boxman's backyard with the presence of Mr. Gar and the developing Lakewood Plaza Turbo. Boxman thought he had ample time to become an indomitable powerhouse, but if the heroes had the same advantage, he'd never be able to catch up and had to address that problem now. When Mr. Logic said to "ignore Lakewood Plaza," Boxman was too lost in himself to listen. He felt threatened and intimidated enough that it stoked his insecurities and anxieties.

When Mr. Logic ventured out to investigate Lakewood Plaza, it could be seen as someone talking to the "other" that their parent, friends, or whomever painted with broad strokes and demonized. Boxman told Mr. Logic that his role was to fill in the "logical inconsistencies" with his plans, but he never asked Mr. Logic what he wanted to do with his life. With Boxman, everything was tailored to realizing Boxman's dreams and ambitions. When Mr. Logic spoke to Mr. Gar, it was a partly about what the Plaza was for and what Mr. Gar hoped for the future with the other part inviting Mr. Logic to share his plans for the future; plans about and for himself, not just the sustainability of Boxmore.

After Mr. Logic had his perspective broadened and returned to Boxmore wanting something fundamentally different from Boxman's new "Destroy the Plaza!" direction, it was the straw that broke the proverbial camel's back. Boxman was already knee-deep in plans to stop this new existential threat; to have full control over his environment and his life. When Mr. Logic challenged Boxman's worldview, Boxman saw it as a challenge to him personally. Seriously considering Mr. Logic's arguments here meant that Boxman would have to self-reflect in a way he wasn't equipped to. So if Boxman had to shave down Mr. Logic's personhood to a black and white concept of "obstacle in my way" to safeguard his ego, that's what needed to be done.

GIF by zevzevarainai

The episode "Lad & Logic" is a fantastic launchpad to unpacking Boxman's screwed-up dynamic with his other children. His creator-robot minion dynamic is an allegory for an emotionally abusive parent that sees their children as extensions of themselves rather than full, autonomous beings with their own wants and desires. Mr. Logic was fully self-actualized and wanted something different than Boxman. Despite what he said out loud, Boxman knew that Mr. Logic was on even footing with him. Everything came down to power dynamics. So, when Boxman invented his next set of robots, he opted to be their "parent" because of the power imbalance he could exploit.

Shannon, Darrell, Raymond, and others strictly and obediently follow their father's wishes because they were deliberately conditioned and threatened to. Boxman pits them against each other to vie for his favor. The only TV they're allowed to watch at home are movies he carefully filmed to reinforce his "father knows best" agenda. It's similar to strict Christian parents banning their kids from watching certain shows or reading certain books because they may contain "undesirable" properties. Anything that encourages their child to question Christianity or endorses more critical thinking about their household values period is a threat to their authority and maintaining a "functional" household.

While Darrell, Shannon, and Raymond seem satisfied with their lives, unconditionally love their father, and gleefully attack the plaza, every time Boxman threatens them with the "furnace" or yells at them for failing, it's an exaggerated, blunt example of bad parenting. The "furnace" is a catch-all punishment for not being able to meet or exceed Boxman's expectations with anything and everything. He leaves some amount of ambiguity in his demands so that he can tug the proverbial leash every time he feels he needs to.

Granted, it's important to look at everything that led up to Lord Cowboy Darrell. Boxman's most egregious display of favoritism was when he built Boxman Jr. and refused to acknowledge how stung Darrell was. He kept pushing how much stronger, more competent, and better Boxman Jr. was overall. Generally, Darrell's respective relationships with Shannon and Raymond were strong enough to buffer against Boxman's picking favorites tactic. They'll fight each other for Dad's affection, but there was always an implicit understanding that they had each other's backs under normal circumstances. Jr. is different in that he had no significant relationship with his other siblings, only Boxman. And Boxman blatantly showered the newest addition with praise and affection the others never received.

Pushed to his limit, Darrell took matters into his own hands and staged an effective coup d'etat against Boxman. Through his disillusionment with his father, Darrell stepped up and became the focused, tight-knuckled business operator that Boxman could never be. Boxman tried to fill the mold that Mr. Logic helped him create and focus on appeasing his board of directors. But his all-consuming obsession with destroying the Plaza was always his true life's goal and work. This was such a core part of his character that he was miserable and hollow if he gave up on that goal. In contrast, Darrell can follow orders and do what needs to be done with whatever task he's given. The result of Lord Cowboy Darrell was one potential future of Darrell as a self-actualized villain without Boxman putting him down and actively demoralizing him.

After K.O. convinces Boxman to talk to Darrell and tell him he's proud of his achievements, it leads to the pivotal moment that Boxman couldn't give Mr. Logic. For once, Boxman looked at one of his kids and saw them as a separate, autonomous being rather than an extension of him. For that brief moment, he placed Darrell on equal footing. Darrell took over Boxmore partly out of spite but also out of an earnest interest in following in Boxman's footsteps. Without Boxman, he's a better Boxman; with Boxman, he's a co-conspirator that's as eager to destroy the Plaza as Boxman is.

GIF by the-green-sailor

Enter Professor Venomous. In stark contrast to Lord Boxman, Professor Venomous and Fink call themselves "boss" and "minion" respectively but it's really a father-daughter relationship. Venomous makes a point of bringing Fink along to important events or letting her tag along where relevant. He brings along what extras are needed to accommodate Fink whether it's a high chair, crayons, or even glorbs for a high-powered attack on some heroes. At their best, Venomous makes a point to talk to Fink on her level and she speaks very highly of what kind, affectionate gestures he does for her. Where Venomous trips up is discipline. Fink can do whatever she wants. Babysitters are run over by her reckless energy and disregard for other people that aren't Venomous. Any sign of a complaint or a tantrum is pacified with an expensive gift. When Venomous starts getting overwhelmed, the gifts replace all usual attempts at parenting or communication period.

After re-watching O.K. K.O. recently knowing that Professor Venomous was K.O.'s biological father from the jump, perhaps the "boss" and "minion" labels were Venomous' coping mechanism for knowing he abandoned one of his kids. It was easier to interact with and care for Fink as long as she was his "minion." That's a different enough relationship that he can compartmentalize it and distance it from what guilt or regrets he had from his past as Laser Blast.

When Boxman became business partners with Professor Venomous, it led to obvious shifts in his approach to parenting. After his night out with Venomous and Darrell and Shannon babysitting, he gave them T-shirts as rewards for their efforts. No pushes at playing favorites or nitpicking for once.

GIF by loser-jpg

With Professor Venomous in the picture, Boxman finally had the business partner he wanted and needed. While Mr. Logic's approach worked beautifully for kickstarting Boxmore, Boxman needed Venomous to cultivate it into exactly what he wanted vs what it was when tied to a board of directors. For a short time, Boxman and Venomous were building a blended family that was more successful together than separately. Boxman encouraged exercises and attempts towards Fink and Darrell getting along better. The Boxbots all received personalized upgrades from Venomous to improve and augment what weaponry or abilities they had. Fink now had access to what 'toys' Boxman could invent that were several grades above what Venomous could just buy. In short, Boxman dating Venomous led to him becoming a more proactive parent in a surprisingly organic way.

Venemous' intense self-destructive and literally destructive stint as Shadowy Venomous further elucidated what impact he had on Boxman. When Boxman had to step up as the responsible parent, the first problem he addressed with Venomous was how he'd been failing Fink recently with the "You missed Fink's recorder recital" comment. He was also emotionally strong enough to realize that Venomous was causing enough problems in the household that things had reached a boiling point and he had to leave. Breaking up would be emotionally devastating for him but Boxman was prioritizing the emotional well-being of his house and kids overall.

Even the devastating scene where Boxman leaves his kids to go off on an ambiguous "finding myself" quest was meaningful improvement on his part. Similarly to his confrontation with Lord Cowboy Darrell but with all of his kids this time, Boxman told them that they didn't need him. He was cutting the dependent and toxic grip on his apron strings. The Box kids are resilient and capable enough that they could carve out their own path.

There's a quote that Boxman brings up in another episode: "I'm a villain. I'm not a monster." In context, the quote was a punchline for a dark joke about Boxman potentially being a cannibal. Though, it interestingly applies when looking at Boxman's actions during his confrontations with Shadowy Venomous. Shadowy was the kind of monstrous villain that wanted mindless destruction and to see the world burn. Seeing the absolute lowest his partner could reach led to Boxman establishing what lines he wouldn't cross.

He wants to destroy the Plaza, not the world, and a pretty face isn't enough to convince him otherwise when he finds the self-assurance and confidence he needed. It's the pique of his character development as a father. While there is a lot more room for exploring this part of Boxman's character, there's enough substantial story here that it's an interesting look at a "bad dad" that was actively working on becoming better. Boxman and Venomous get back together later but only after Venomous proves that he's working through his bigger issues in a meaningful way with real, tangible results.

Over the last several years, there have been several stories tackling generational trauma that include parents realizing their failings and working on course-correcting with those failings. This has been a point of contention about a recurring to the point of tired stories in recent Pixar animated movies and the core of what made Everything, Everywhere, All at Once the powerhouse that it is. It's not too far of a reach to include Boxman as another one of these stories or even a decent starting place for digging into stories or characters dealing with generational trauma.

In Boxman's case, he could be seen as an example of an insecure parent that uses their role as a parent to reassure themselves in a constantly changing, unpredictable world. He only starts to get better when he starts changing and adapting to fit into that unpredictable world rather than trying to make his little corner of the world continue to conform to just him alone.

[cloud-somersault]

Hello. I made a (now deleted) tweet earlier about the imbalance of Wu and Mac's fuckups in Constellations. I discuss the reasoning behind that here. There's also just epilogue news in general in here, so please read when you get a chance.

Thanks.

It’s come to my attention that some people see the reconciliation aspect of the epilogue to be entirely one sided in Macaque’s favor. I wanna address this. 

First off, it’s in Macaque’s perspective. We’re reading through his voice. These are his opinions, his thoughts. If we read something he thinks and we think to ourselves “that’s not fucking true” that is because he is his own character with his own faults and biases and opinions. He is not going to be objectively correct. And he has his own share of fuckups. “Water and Stone,” Chapter 4 of Constellations, hurting Wukong after the Little Star fight. 

Neither is Wukong. I understand that, throughout the chapters, Wukong has done/said some fucked up shit. The argument about Little Star, the whole thing with sentimentality and Macaque’s cape, the “Sun’s Shadow” debacle — he is not perfect. He has apologized, though. 

But here’s the thing: this is about characterization. Let’s walk through it.

Macaque does something fucked up to Wukong. What is Wukong going to do? Forgive him, because nothing Macaque does is as bad as what Wukong did (killing Macaque). He is biased in this way. There is nothing Macaque can do that would have Wukong seriously mad at him for centuries (unless it’s something ridiculous like seriously hurting MK (worse than s3) just because or something like that). Wukong considers that murder to be his greatest sin. So, he is always going to forgive Macaque any wrongdoing.

Will he still get mad? Yup. Will he call Macaque on it sometimes? Yup. But he’s not going to hold a SERIOUS grudge because he’s the one who made the ultimate mistake. 

That’s Wukong’s character. That is something he chooses to do. And no, it’s not right. It’s not fair; Macaque should get called out, too. He should get told he’s not perfect has fucked up, too. But things are never black and white. No situation works out that way. This is their dynamic in this AU specifically. Sometimes the right thing just doesn’t happen even if you know it should. Sometimes unfairness is just the way it is, especially when it’s two people who have hurt each other and are making mistakes and are trying to make things work. 

But let’s talk about Macaque. He’s more sensible and thoughtful than Wukong, so his fuckups are going to be fewer in general. He’s more mindful and doesn’t say things without thinking as much as Wukong does. And he’s also taking advantage of the fact that Wukong easily forgives him. He’s aware of that and is using it as much as he can because he feels he’s entitled to it because Wukong murdered him.

Macaque feels as if anything he does pales in comparison to Wukong’s murder of him. So yes, he calls Wukong out at every opportunity and makes him apologize. He feels like he has that “right” since he’s the victim of Wukong’s murder. 

None of this is “healthy” or “the right way to go about it” but that’s the point. It should feel unfair. You should feel “ugh, Wukong fucked up again, Macaque’s going to get onto him about it.” And I get that’s frustrating to read because Macaque has fucked up fewer times than Wukong but…Macaque has fucked up fewer times, so there’s less moments for Wukong to call him out.

And Wukong may or may not call him out on it because he easily forgives Macaque. He’s willing to do anything and everything to be together with Macaque. Having his palms sliced into was fucking nothing to him. That’s a normal Tuesday for the Monkey King. He himself said he was more concerned about Macaque’s well-being than what happened to him.

I get that this is frustrating to read at times. But you don’t have to read it. I get that sometimes you might be like “I wish it’d gone this way” but you can always write your own stories. This is the dynamic I’m writing, and it’s not fair, it’s not healthy, it’s not an ideal relationship that sets a good example or anything. Wukong is going to fuck up time and time again and Macaque is always going to call him out. Macaque is going to fuck up sometimes because of his more mindful nature, and Wukong might call him out sometimes. That’s a choice that they make each time.

Why would Wukong call Macaque harshly and potentially piss him off so much that Macaque wants nothing to do with him? Wukong is not going to take that chance. He wants to help Macaque and is willing to go to Hell and back to do it. That is not a healthy dynamic. I know this. You should know this. But it’s their characterization that drives it. 

I expressed that I was unsure about the balance of “Macaque fucking up vs. Wukong fucking up” and I came to the conclusion that there’s always going to be imbalance, because Wukong just will not make a big deal out of any mistakes Macaque makes. 

So Macaque holds himself accountable. He told Wukong he wasn’t going to guilt trip him about his death and intentionally hurt him with his words, and he stopped doing that. He talked about how he attacked Wukong, but Wukong was quick to assure him that he was fine. Macaque also called out Wukong for overshadowing him, and Wukong argued back and then Macaque had to explain that he wasn’t blaming Wukong, he was venting and explaining himself. And they reached an understanding. 

Macaque calls out himself and is hard on himself. That’s why his prose is so draining and negative. And that imbalance between them will always exist because Wukong killed him. That is the worst thing he could’ve done and he did it. Now he’s forever making up for that fact. That’s the dynamic I chose to write. If you don’t like that it’s not perfectly balanced and black and white and every toxic behavior isn’t called out and addressed and corrected, then this fic might not be for you. 

And honestly, I feel like I shouldn’t have to type this out. It’s upsetting that I have to. I re-examined how I feel and I’m not having as much fun as I used to writing this. I’m going to try and finish things out, but chapter 12 might end up being the last chapter. I’m going to start limiting replies and turning off comments etc., just so I can, maybe, finish this out. 

[aqours]

anyways if i'm going this deep in lemme share this teen mom Ashley fic idea i had i'd love feedback on the idea

this is completely unrelated to my other idea regarding this this is an entirely different can of worms i'm putting this under a readmore just bc it's a bit long and also filled with dead doves so only open and eat it at your own discretion

so basically the idea goes like this- when they were teenagers (her 14 and him 16) Andrew and Ashley got into some kind of big fight (still working on it) most likely due to him having a girlfriend in hs at the time. during this period, in an effort to make a point and piss him off, Ashley gets a boyfriend of her own (who just so happens to have messy black hair and green eyes wow what a coincidence) who was in a class with Andrew. some incident happens where Ashley "accidentally" leaves her phone with explicit texts on view (but also tis like the 90s so maybe i'll redo that) and Andrew talked with his classmate and then uh there was another second missing person, and after an intense argument Ashley and Andrew "slept in the same bed" and anyways a month later Ashley announces she's pregnant casually at the dinner table putting the pregnancy test she put right on it.

"Huh. Not the reaction I was hoping for."

"Forgive me for not being particularly fucking thrilled at the idea of being a grandmother at 32, Ashley."

"You know, if my kid has a kid at 15 and their kid ALSO has a kid at 15 you could be a great-great-grandma at only 75."

"Please shut the fuck up, Ashley."

and Andrew is in complete denial it is. it's been 6 years and every single person except Julia refuses to believe it isn't. at one point when Alexis "Alex" Graves is a baby she makes a comment she has her father's (green) eyes with a wink and grin at Andrew. during the Burial Route when Mrs. Graves is trying to plead with Andrew she finally says "... If you won't do it for yourself, do it for your ------------------" and it's like his brain physically blocks out any insinuation with he's the father with white noise. so he's been living as the kid's uncle officially and has no idea how to act around this kid most of the time.

Ashley is not a good mom by any means and has had CPS called on her more than once but incompetence won't remove the child entirely and she does like. actually love this kid but her obsession with Andrew is clearly more important to her, the fact this kid keeps him tethered to her even if he won't admit, and also because she spoils the kid however she can to try to prove she's a better mother just because her daughter is happier than she was, when learning Alex hit another kid to get their candy she was outright like fuck YEAH if you want something take it!!! girlboss gatekeep gaslight to this four year old and Andrew at least tried to teach the kid right from wrong in response. during her first birthday Mrs. Graves asked Ashley if she was gonna do anything and Ashley didn't see a point the kid is 1 they won't remember the birthday there's nothing they'd want and she doesn't seem to process the point of a birthday for a baby isn't about toys and fun but to celebrate their life. when Ashley suggests they can get by on mugging people Alex says she can pose as a homeless sad kid and for the first time in a while at her Ashley lights up and says THAT'S why you're mama's favorite <3333

babies don't make everything better the co-dependent toxic satanic demonic summoning cannibal incest game's plot now also includes a 6 year old that has also eaten people now with two of the most awful parents imaginable around her and if anything Ashley might get colder once her mom is dead because now there's no way

thoughts? i really want to write this but i'd love feedback

[yurisek]

Not So Berry Challange? Kinda

I stumbled upon lilsimsies Not So Berry Challange and I really wanted to try it out, since it's that time again when I'm getting bored of The Sims because I don't know what to do there. So I dedicated a few hours of my life to redoing this challange to my liking, and named it The Rainbow Challange (how original, right?). It has 10 generations, starting at the colour white and ending at the colour black. I have every pack, so I didn't really pay any mind to what packs I'm including. Also, I put likes, dislikes, turn-ons and turn-offs for every generation, but those are just details, really.

Basic rules: 1. Each heir must represent the colour of the generation (hair, clothes, their house..) coloured skin is not necessary 2. The colours of the spouses doesn't matter 3. You can live wherever you want in it isn't specified in the rules of a generation 4. Play on normal lifespan 5. Start the first (white) generation as a young adult sim 6. Occult sims are welcome :D

Generation one: White You're an angel, really. You're all about sticking to the rules, you have never done anything bad. You love socilaizing and helping others. Family and friends are everything to you.

Aspiration: Friend of the World (Popularity) Traits: Outgoing, Neat, Family-Oriented Career: Doctor Likes: White, Optimistic Sims, Classical Music Dislikes: Arguments, Ambitionless Sims, Programming Turn-ons: Family Motivated, Affection, White Clothes Turn-offs: Taken, Slacher, Messy

Rules: -Master the Doctor career and complete the Friend of the World aspiration -Master the charisma and logic skill -Marry a co-worker and have (at least) two kids with them

Generation two: Pink You were given lots of love your whole childhood, so now you're all about sharing it with others. In highschool you joined the cheer team/football team. Oh, and you're obsessed with your garden.

Aspiration: Romantic Explorer (Love) Traits: Generous, Romantic, Lovebug Career: Romance Consultant Likes: Pink, Romance Enthusiasts, Preppy Fashion Dislikes: Shabby Decor, Pranks, Horse Riding Turn-ons: Clean, WooHoo, Pink Clothes Turn-offs: Gift Giving, Egoistical, Enhineering

Rules: -Have at least five different partners throughout your life -Complete the Romantic Explorer aspiration

Generation three: Red You have been born a chef, honestly. You're all about food, you love going out to a restaurant ot something similar, you never say no to a sweet treat. You have a degree in Culinary Arts.

Aspiration: Master Chef (Food) Traits: Foodie, Snob, Ambitious Career: Food Critic Likes: Red, Cooking, Egoistical Sims Dislikes: Rascals, Singing, Acting Turn-ons: Culinary, Highly-Skilled, Red Clothes Turn-offs: Homebody, Costumes, Pessimistic

Rules: -Master the Food Critic career and complete the Master Chef aspiration -Master the cooking and mixology skill, have gourment cooking on at least level seven -Must play an instrument -Must live in another world than the one they were raised in

Generation four: Orange You're all about fame. You've been posting on social media ever since you were a teenager. You join a drama club as an afterschool activity and you continue to study drama in university. You want to become a well known celebrity.

Aspiration: World-Famous Celebrity (Popularity) Traits: Nosy, Self-Absorbed, Self-Assured Career: Actor Likes: Orange, Acting, Compliments Dislikes: Potty Humor, Basics Decor. Metal Music Turn-ons: Affection, Academics, Orange Clothes Turn-offs: Rocker, Broke, Argumentative

Rules: -Become a Global Superstar and have a tile on Starlight Boulevard -Move to Del Sol Valley -Have a pet named Judith -Have a vault at home -Have exactly three kids

Generation five: Yellow Relax. That's your life motto. It's all about relaxation. Why worry about something when you can just... meditate? You make crystal jewellery for a living and you love it. There's not a single room in your house without a crystal.

Aspiration: Inner Peace (Wellness) Traits: Practice Makes Perfect, Socially Awkward, Bookworm Career: Freelancer Likes: Yellow, Gemology, Wellness Dislikes: DJ Mixing, Mixology, Malicious Interactions Turn-ons: Nature Enthusiasts, Nature, Yellow Clothes Turn-offs: Polished, Drink Making, Media & Technology

Rules: -Master the gemology, wellness and athletic skill -Marry your high school sweetheart and stay with them until you die -Have a greenhouse -Must live in a 'needs TLC' apartment for entire young adult life

Generation six: Green You're the type of person to put money above anything else and everything else. You're a workoholic and love to brag about your wealth. Your house is full of the most expensive furniture, and you only wear polished clothing.

Aspiration: Fabulously Wealthy (Fortune) Traits: Materalistic, Art Lover, Squeamish Career: Business Likes: Green, Piano, Polished Fashion Dislikes: Basics Fashion, Baking, Romance Music Turn-ons: Gift Giving, Wealthy, Green Clothes Turn-offs: Broke, Culinary, Emotional Decision Makers

Rules: -Master the Fabulously Wealthy aspiration -Master the charisma skill, have at least level five in horse riding and at least level three in bowling -Have a gym and a theatre at home -Own at least ten knight statues -Have at least three pets

Generation seven: Blue You decided that you don't want to live the life your parents did, so you move out to Henford-on-Bagley and become a farmer. Your parents gave you some money to help you out, but that's the only money you accept from them. You're happy without the millions.

Aspiration: Outdoor Enthusiasts (Nature) Traits: Animal Enthusiast, Clumsy, Rancher Career: Gardener Likes: Blue, Knitting, Small Talk Dislikes: Cerebral Sims, Robotics, Skiing Turn-ons: Health & Sports, Pet Enthusiast, Blue Clothes Turn-offs: Performer, Spirited, Wealthy

Rules: -Miust attend scouts after school -Must go camping at leats five times in their life -Must move out onve they're a young adult -Master the gardening skill, have the flower arranging and the archeology skill on at least level five -Bring Patchy the Strawman to life

Generation eight: Purple You've been seeing things ever sicne you were a child, right? And no one belived you. So you started writing about it into your diary, and when you were old enough, you published a few books about the paranormal.

Aspiration: Bestselling Author (Creativity) Traits: Paranoind, Loner, Creative Career: Writer, Paranormal Investigator Likes: Purple, Photography, Gossip Dislikes: Complaints, Fishing, Rocket Science Turn-ons: Arts & Crafts, Sense of Humorm´m Purple Clothes Turn-offs: Romance Enthusiast, Gift Giving, Idealist

Rules: -Write at least fifteen books about the paranormal -Move out to Old Penelope in StrangeVille (don't change the lot to a purple one, keep it) -Master the writing and medium skill

Generation nine: Brown Isn't being good boring? Someone has to be th eone to cause mayhem. Would your parents or grandparents be proud of you? No, definitely not. But it's fun, being the different one. Oh yeah, you also have a degree in villany.

Aspiration: Public Enemy (Deviance) Traits: Evil, Vegetarian, Gloomy Career: Criminal Likes: Brown, Singing, Deception Dislikes: Discussing Interests, Optimistic Sims, Island Music Turn-ons: Wealthy, Argumentative, Brown Clothes Turn-offs: Baking, Painting, Horse Riding

Rules: -Master the Criminal career and complete the Public Enemy aspiration -Master the singing skill -Have twins (or just two children) - be good friends with both of them -Live in at least three different worlds over the course of your life

Generation ten: Black You have learned a lesson form your parent and decided that you want to be nothing like them. You get a degree in psychology and dedicare your life to doing the good and stopping the bad.

Aspiration: Renaissance Sim (Knowlage) Traits: Good, Proper, Loyal Career: Detective Likes: Black, Research & Debate, Stories Dislikes: Cosmolux Decor, Cross-stich, Strange Tunes Turn-ons: Career-Minded, Physical Intimacy, Black Clothes Turn-offs: Self-Employed, High Energy, Slacher

Rules: -Complete the Renaissance Sim aspiration -Must play the pipe organ -Adopt at least one child -Get married for the firsz time as an elder

Belive it or not, but it really did take me a few hours to write all of this down, so I just wanted to share it somewhere, where someone can perhaps use it as well. Happy Simming!

[soracities]

Hi! So I tried not to say anything about some anti makeup posts I saw on your blog but I need to say this. I think you're very wise and I agree it's very important for us to love ourselves as we are. But some people like myself doesn't care about 'empowering' of makeup or whatever but we just have fun with it and we just love it. I say we because I know there is a lot of people like me. Yeah, we are feeding capitalism or whatever, but world is beautiful and it's also terrible so people trying make themselves feel good, have fun, ect. I see a lot of people who don't wear makeup and i'm happy for them! I didn't wear makeup until i turned 20 i think and felt good.

One thing I wanted to add is in response of post about feminine girls. I think everything needs balance and sometimes people tend to overreact in their opinion and divide everything in black and white. Personally I never cared how women around me looked and what they were wearing. But I would like to have same treatment, and not to feel silly for wearing pink or feminine clothes.

Sorry, I don't know English very well so maybe I can't translate my idea entirely. What I'm trying to say i think everyone should do what they like and leave each other in peace.

Sorry for this essay, just wanted to share my point of view.

Hi, anon! I'm sorry for the delay in getting to this, but I appreciate you writing this (and your English was fine, don't worry)

I think the main argument of those posts (and my own feelings about this) is not about makeup on its own, or even judgement about who does and doesn't choose to wear it--what they are criticizing is a particular part of the society we live in which puts a huge emphasis on women's beauty and appearance in order to fulfill an idea of what a woman "should" be, and the role that makeup plays in that as a result. Because whether we like it or not, whether we believe in them or not, whether we feel pressured by them or not, these expectations do exist. How we personally respond to them does not change that.

I personally don't have an issue with makeup or the concept of it (in almost every culture on earth, humans have been using makeup of some kind for literally thousands of years)--but what I do have a problem with is when we treat makeup, or other traditionally "feminine" forms of expression as neutral things when they are not. A comb or a hair tie is neutral--it's just a thing. Lipstick and eyeliner are also just things, but only when they exist by themselves--and in reality they don't exist by themselves: they exist in a world where we value women on their physical appearance before we value them for anything else--lipstick and eyeliner exist to emphasise parts of your appearance, to make you look a certain way--and in a society where we put so much importance on women looking a certain way, they aren't just ordinary things you toy around with for fun. You can have fun with them, but it doesn't change their role. They can't be treated as exceptions from the world they are used in.

I think sometimes people assume that being anti-makeup is the same as being anti-women-who-wear-makeup, which misses the point (and also suggests a very dangerous idea which I think, sometimes, is why people respond so angrily to these criticisms: because if we believe that being anti-makeup = being anti-women, then therefore makeup = womanhood, and this is simply not true). Whether you wear these things just for fun and to enjoy yourself isn't what is being talked about because these criticisms are not about you on a personal level: they are about looking at a society that is as image-obsessed as ours, and asking why makeup has the role that it has when 1) it is almost exclusively aimed at women--women who, as a group, have been historically marginalised, and whose value, historically, has almost always been measured in terms of their beauty before anything else and 2) the makeup that is emphasized, the trends and styles that come and go, are often not so much about self-expression (if they were, people would be freely wearing all sorts of wild colours and styles: when we talk about "makeup culture" it's not the same kind of makeup used in the goth, punk, or alt scenes for example where makeup plays a very different role) but almost always about achieving or aspiring towards a type of beauty that is valued or expected: to make you look younger, to make your eyes brighter or larger, to make your lips bigger or sexier, your cheekbones more prominent etc--again, on their own, these things may not be a big deal, but they exist in a world where having these looks means you are valued in a certain way as a woman. And when this exists in our kind of world, where the power dynamics we have automatically mean women's perceived power is through beauty, and where we insist so much on women being a particular kind of beautiful (and this starts in childhood) we have to ask and investigate WHY that is--why this type of beauty and not another? why (almost only) women? who benefits from this? who suffers as a result?

The argument of "not all women" wear makeup for empowerment misses the point of these criticism, because it is focusing on a person's individual choices in a way that suggests our choices can define the world we live in, and they can't. We are deeply social animals. Therefore, how we appear to each other and to ourselves is a socially influenced phenomenon. This applies for race, for sexuality, and for gender. How women are perceived at large, in different social structures, is a social phenomenon influenced by the societies we exist in and the values of those societies. These criticisms are about the society we make those choices in and how that can affect us. For you, makeup may be something fun and enjoyable and that's fine. I'm not saying that's untrue or that people don't feel this way or that you are wrong for feeling this way. It's also not saying that you are brain-washed or oppressing yourself for it. But it doesn't change the world we live in. Someone feeling perfectly happy to go out with makeup or without makeup, and feeling no pressure to do either, is great--but it doesn't mean there aren't a lot of women who do feel pressured into wearing it, and that pressure is a social one. It doesn't change the inequality that exists between how women's physical appearances are judged compared to men's. It doesn't change the fact that almost every childhood story most kids hear (that aren't about animals) have a "beautiful princess" (and very little else is said about her except that she is beautiful) and a "brave" knight/prince/king/whichever: the princess (or maiden or whatever young woman) is defined by how she looks; the male in the story by how he acts.

It also doesn't change the fact that so many young girls grow up hearing the women around them criticize various parts of their bodies and that they carry this into their lives. It doesn't change the fact that we expect (in Western countries at least) for women to have criticisms about their appearance and they are "stuck-up" or "full of themselves" if they don't. It doesn't change the fact that magazines photos, red carpet photos, films, tv shows etc., feature actresses who are beautiful in a way that is absolutely above and beyond exceptional (and who either have had work done cosmetically, or are wealthy enough to be able to afford to look the way they do through top-class makeup artists, personal trainers etc) but who we think are within the "normal" range of beauty because faces like theirs are all that we see--how many famous actors / entertainers can you name who look like they could be someone's random uncle, or "just some guy" (writing this, I can think of 5). Now how many actresses, equally famous, can you think of that are the same? Very, very, very few.

The point of those posts, and why I feel so strongly about this, is that we have a deeply skewed view of beauty when it comes to women, because, as a society, we place so much on how they look in such a way that it is not, and was never meant to be, achievable: therefore anything that contributes to how women look, that markets itself in the way that the makeup industry does in this day and age, needs to be questioned and looked at in relation to that. No one is saying don't wear eyeliner or blush--what they are trying to say is that we need to be aware of the kind of world eyeliner and blush exists in, what their particular functions as eyeliner and blush do in the world that they exist in, that we exist in, and how this does impact the view we have on makeup as a result. Your personal enjoyment may be true to you and others, but this doesn't change the role of female beauty in the world because, again, our personal choices don't define the world in this way. Often, it's the other way around. And we cannot deny this fact because, while it may not affect you negatively, it does affect others.

I absolutely agree with you because I don't care how other women around me choose to dress or express themselves, either--that's their freedom to wear what they want and enjoy themselves and I want them to have that freedom. But my view is not the world's view, and it's certainly not the view of a lot of other people, either. I don't care if another woman loves pink and wearing skirts and dresses--but, like makeup, pink, skirts, and dresses, are not neutral things either. They're tied to a particular image of 'femininity' which means they are tied to a particular way of "being a woman" in this world. I'm not saying, at all, that it's wrong to wear these things. But I'm saying we can't treat them as though these are choices as simple as choosing what kind of socks to wear, because they aren't. They are choices that have baggage. If a woman is seen as being silly, childish, or treated unequally because she enjoys cute tops and ribbons and sundresses, that's not because we are demonizing her choices, or because being anti-makeup is being anti-woman (again, it is absolutely not): it's because we as a society demonize women for any choice. That isn't because of anti-makeup stances--that's because of sexism.

You mentioned that you want to be treated the same as anyone else for wearing feminine clothes--but the fear that you wouldn't be isn't because of the discussions critiquing makeup and other traditionally "feminine" things--it's because we live in a society where women are constantly defined by how they appear on the outside, and no amount of our personal choices will make this untrue. Whether you are a girly-girl or a tomboy, you'll always be judged. And, in reality, when women follow certain beauty standards they do get treated better--but this doesn't mean much in a society where the standards are so high you can never reach them, and where the basic regard for women is so low to begin with (not to mention the hypocrisy that exists within those standards). This is what all those criticisms towards makeup and "empowerment" are about: it's about interrogating a society that is built on this kind of logic and asking why we should insist on leaving it as it is when it does so much damage. It's saying that that if we want everyone to truly feel free in how they choose to present themselves we have to go deeper than just defining freedom by these choices on their own, and look at the environment those choices are made in. And that involves some deeply uncomfortable but necessary conversations.

Also, and I think this important to remember, views on makeup and the social place of makeup will also depend on culture and where you are, and the beauty expectations you grew up with. And when it comes to the internet, and given American dominance online, a lot of these posts criticizing makeup and the way makeup is being used to sell an idea that wearing it is "empowering" to the woman (which is basically saying: you are MORE of a woman when you wear it; you are stronger and more powerful because, in our society, beauty is portrayed as a form of power: it tells you, you can battle the inequality women face by embracing the role beauty plays in our lives but it doesn't tell you this emphasis on beauty is part of that inequality), are based on the way makeup is portrayed in mostly English-speaking Western countries. My views are shaped by what I grew up seeing, and while a full face of makeup (concealer, primer, foundation, mascara, highlighter, contour, blush, brow tint, brow gel etc) may not be daily practice or even embraced in a place like France or maybe other places in mainland Europe (but that doesn't mean they don't have their own expectations of feminine beauty), they are daily practice in places like the US and Britain, and this is what most of those posts and criticisms are responding to.

We can argue as much as we want about makeup, but when you grow up in a society where women feel the need to put on makeup before going to the gym there is something seriously wrong. Embracing makeup and enjoying makeup is one thing, but it cannot be a neutral thing when so much of it is about looking like you're not wearing makeup at all, or when we assume a woman is better qualified for a job or more professional when she wears it. It cannot be a neutral thing when a singer like Alicia Keys goes makeup-free for a red carpet event and it causes a stir online because people think she looks sick (what she looks like is normal--I would argue above normal--but wearing makeup to cover up "flaws" is so normal now that we genuinely don't know what normal skin is supposed to look like because the beauty of these celebrities is part of their appeal: they are something to aspire to). It is absolutely very normal for me, where I am, to see young girls with fake lashes and filled in brows: it's not every girl I pass, but it is enough. I'm not saying they are miserable, or brain-washed, or should be judged. I can believe that for them it's something enjoyable--but how am I supposed to see something like that and not be aware of the kind of celebrities and makeup tutorials that are everywhere on TikTok and YouTube, and that they are seeing everyday? How am I not supposed to have doubts when people tell me "it's their choice!" when the choices being offered are so limited and focused on one thing?

I never wore makeup as a teenager and I still don't, but a lot of that is because I grew up surrounded by people who just didn't. Makeup was never portrayed as anything bad or forbidden (and I don't see it like that either)--it was just this thing that, for me growing up, was never made to be a necessity not even for special occasions. I saw airbrushed photos and magazines all around me, for sure, and I definitely felt the beauty pressure and the body pressure (for example, I definitely felt my confidence would be better if I wore concealer to deal with my uneven skintone, and I felt this for years). But I also know that, growing up, I saw both sides. No makeup was the default I saw at home, while makeup was the default I saw outside. And that does play a part, not just in the choices you make, but in the choices that you feel you are allowed to make. No makeup was an option for me because it was what I saw everyday, even with my own insecurities; but if you do not see that as an option around you (and I know for most girls my age, where I grew up, it probably wasn't) then how can we fully argue that the decision you make is a real choice?

If I wanted to wear a cute skirt outside, for example, and decided to shave my legs--that isn't a real choice. And it cannot ever be a real choice, no matter how much I say "this is for me" or "I prefer it like this" because going out in public with hairy legs and going out in public with shaved legs will cause two completely different reactions. How can I separate what I think is "my choice" from a choice I make because I want to avoid the negative looks and comments? And how can I argue that choosing to shave is a freely made choice when the alternative has such negativity? If you feel pressured into choosing one thing over another, that's not a choice. Does this make sense?

This is how I feel about makeup most of the time, and what I want more than anything else is for us to be able to have a conversation about why we make the choices we do beyond saying "it makes me feel good" and ending the conversation there. Again, I'm not saying people need to stop wearing makeup or stop finding enjoyment in wearing it, but I think we tend to get so focused on our own feelings about this and forget that there is a bigger picture and this picture is a deeply unequal one. That is what this conversation is about. I hope this explains some things, anon, and if I misinterpreted anything please feel free to message me again. x

[brynnterpretations]

okay, i saw your previous ship request and i'm not used to this type of stuff but i have a massive 'the boys' brainrot so: why not? let's do this! 'the boys' ship ask!

i'm a bisexual girl (what an introduction) from eastern europe (yeah, these beautiful countries with delightful swear words like: suka, kurwa and pizda). i like belles-lettres, fashion, history, a little bit of sociology, art, museums, a little bit of everything if i'm being honest.

i'm kind of jack of all trades but master of none. i have a opinion on every topic and i like to research a lot but i'm not interested in doing anything with the universal knowledge i have. yes, i may know a lot about many topics but i will never pursue a bachelor's degree in any of it. that's why i like to write stories, essays etc. because i can speak my mind freely. one day i can talk to someone about alexander the great and then at midnight i will text you top 10 facts you didn't know about kangaroos.

i also like drama, but i don't like being in the middle of it. i will enjoy when things are getting more and more complicated as long as i'm not included in it. sometimes during in-group arguments i can act as the devil's advocate for certain person but it doesn't mean i entirely agree with them - i just want to prove that not everything is black and white.

i'm in the conflict between my head and my heart, because i make all my decisions by using brains and then wonder if i haven't left someone behind. with my closest friends and family i don't have this problem but with more casual friends i always felt some type of guilt after i did something. the same case is with my humor because i will most likely jokingly bully you if you are the person i care about, but some people take it too seriously and feel offended by it😬 (fortunately, i have a cousin who shares the same absurd and sarcastic type of humor.)

and even though i'm a extrovert i prefer small groups in which i know i can feel comfortable. it's because i deal with a lot of stress in my life and sometimes i feel overhelmed by my intrusive thoughts (mm, i know you will get me). tbh i love those friendships in which you can both be weird but also have a deep conversations. besides all the things i said i'm also more future oriented so i don't hold grudges for long. i also love telling people random stories and love when they answer to me with their own silly stories.

i gues that's it. have a nice day! i hope you're doing well!! :DD

Thank you so much for the request, you seem like such a sweetheart! I hope you like it. ☻

I ship you with...

Frenchie ♡

Boyfriend

GIF Source: @screwsupes ★ (link)

You and Frenchie have what is basically the opposite of a meet-cute. On a drug-fueled suspicion that the cashier at Fumo, a NYC pizza chain, is the supe that The Boys have heard is around the area, Frenchie gets kicked out of the establishment.

But you — bless you — notice the commotion and, both intrigued and concerned (because how TF do you get kicked out of Fumo?), went out to the parking lot. After a brief conversation with him, littered with curses in both French and English, you eventually are able to calm him down a bit, and get him the pizza he was going to take back to the coup.

Frenchie's quite charmed by you — you're a good conversationalist, and the boys really needed that pizza — and you two exchange names, but neither of you expect to see each other again. However, you end up running into each other in the city a lot, particularly at the local Jitter Bean or the scattered NYC pizza places not including Fumo.

You start out as casual friends, often sharing a smoke together (or coffee if you don't smoke) outside and chatting. Frenchie loves art, sociology, and other cultural topics, so you two have very long conversations about any and all of the above. And, similarly to you, Frenchie is very much interested in these without the distractions of pseudo-intellectual academia slop and jargon, so you two hold very interesting conversations.

Probably a month or two after this takes place, he would start developing a lot of interest in you romantically. You're funny, smart, beautiful, and you two definitely share the same sense of humor. He'd start inviting you to simple dates, like watching documentaries in his apartment or getting pizza and cheap wine from a late-night shop.

From the get-go, he wouldn't hide his involvement in dangerous work from you. Honesty and transparency is extremely important to Frenchie, and he believes that, if you two are to pursue a relationship, you should know the shit he's in.

And, you do! It's not the typical roses-and-candles affair, but it's extremely sweet, and it's extremely Frenchie; after a couple months of going out, he flat-out asks if you'd like to be together. When you say yes... queue the biggest, sweetest kiss + embrace ever.

You two have a lot of late-night conversations about philosophical topics, like life, death, forgiveness, and religion. As mentioned, Frenchie is endlessly drawn to your intellect and curiosity, and will gladly sacrifice sleep to be able to hear your input.

Frenchie loves you reading to him, and while he's not the biggest reader (he's more of an art/audio guy), he'll take on even the most difficult books if he knows you like them.

Because of your shared spontaneous nature, expect a lot of fun, random dates, like impromptu museum getaways, thrift shop ventures, and long drives. Frenchie loves showing you his favorite spots in the city, especially at the city limits.

You two are the creative duo, and your relationship will reflect that, with you two often cooking and crafting (he'll make you a cute, raggedy locket to wear) together.

As evident by his friendship with Kimiko, Frenchie is a big pet-name guy, and will call you petit feu (little fire), ma moitié (my other half), and mon rêve (my dream).

Frenchie 100% understands the conflict between head and heart — it's one of his biggest challenges in life — and will always be an ear for you to talk at when it concerns making decisions, figuring out what to do next, etc. While not as much of a small-group person as you, he respects it (Kimiko's the same way), and will go out of his way to make sure wherever you hang out is comfortable.

Early on, Frenchie will introduce you to the coup, which brings us to...

The Boys ☻

Friends

GIF Source: @vcugifs ★ (link)

You and M.M. are the most well-knit in the group. M.M.'s a very, very well-read guy, which is why you start talking; English was his favorite subject in school, and you two both share a certain love of belles-lettres and other literature. After he spots your favorite book in your bag and starts a conversation about it, you two become peas in a pod.

Additionally, you two have a lot in common mentally and emotionally, and you are essentially rocks for each other. You both struggle with balancing rationality and empathy, battling intrusive thoughts, etc., and would always be there for each other. M.M. and you exchange numbers pretty early on, and you can expect a lot of sweet, dad texts from him (you will be blessed with that anxiety-breathing-triangle GIF at least once a week).

Also, don't be fooled by his serious exterior — M.M. is a funny guy, and your senses of humor match up perfectly.

While you and Annie got off to a bit of a rocky start (she can have some difficulty with sarcasm and thought you did not like her ass), you two become extremely close. While you may see her mentally buffer when you make an off-key joke, she'll get it in a few seconds and genuinely laugh. She also isn't extremely familiar with a lot of your interests but loves learning new things, especially since she didn't have the opportunity to go to college and really immerse herself in sociology and the arts, so she loves taking book recommendations from you.

Hughie would be the same, though he'd take better to your humor — the guy's first introduction to the boys was Butcher, so he had to get used to it pretty quickly. He really, really likes you and Frenchie together, and thinks you're a sweetheart.

On the topic of Butcher, you and Butcher wouldn't really mesh at first, but you wouldn't not mesh, either. Butcher isn't the most intellectual guy, so a lot of your fun facts and conversational topics would fly over his head, but once you hang around the boys more, your sense of humor would click with his. Additionally, even if he wouldn't show it often (he's not that type of guy), he appreciates your future-oriented mindset as he tends to be a right-here-right-now person.

And, lastly, Kimiko: Kimiko loves you. Similarly to Annie, it took a bit for her to warm up to you, mainly because she's pretty averse to change and also very shy. However, as you found ways to communicate with her, she'd become enthralled with you. In the Shining Light Liberation Army, Kimiko didn't get any exposure to anything else but the Shining Light Liberation Army, so she is obsessed with your input on the arts and history, and loves to hang out with you. She'd definitely invite you to hang out a lot, particularly at museums and parks.

Honestly, I could see Kimiko forming quite the crush on you, but she'd never interfere with you and Frenchie.

So, girl: you've got a lot of good friends on your side.

[kutputli]

I got an anon ask that makes me think I should clarify a few things:

First of all, not everything I reblog from a fandom is an uncritical endorsement of it. Meta especially, I sometimes reblog just to be able to find it again, since I'm percolating my own thoughts. I'm not going to specify every single time exactly what I agree with and disagree with either, because I don't always want to start up a discussion with the OP.

Second, I don't go through someone's entire blog to get a sense of their worldview before I reblog something. I am definitely not going to consider my reblog of someone's particular post to be an endorsement of their entire take of fandom or politics or life at large.

Third, I generally prefer to disengage from fans whose opinions I find objectionable. I prefer to not get into arguments, unless I am having a discussion with someone who I think is worth investing my time and energy in.

Fourth, I care a lot about racism in both source media and internet fandom (along with casteism, sexism, colonialism and other structures of oppression). But I also care a lot about finding people who share my values and engaging fannishly with them, rather than specifically addressing individual people I disagree with.

The last fandom I invested deeply in was Ted Lasso, and there I found myself blocked by professional journalists when I called out the racism written into their professional reviews. I saw my posts being ignored by white fans who chose to reblog other white people's takes on racism. I am very aware of how white fandoms operate, and because I want to continue to derive some pleasure in fandom, I am conciously choosing to interact very selectively with white fans.

Interview with the Vampire is my current fandom and I am very invested in talking about the racial dynamics of the show. I have a lot of criticism for the creators. I also am very aware of some of the racist dynamics present in the fandom, but I am not interested in picking fights with anyone. I also don't want to be used as a cats paw.

And finally, I respect the diversity of world view within fans of colour. Everyone has their own lines in the sand regarding what media they consider ok to engage with, and what fannish takes they can get along with. I couldn't get into the OFMD fandom after I watched the show because slave-owning leads is a hard line for me. It isn't for other fans, including some Black fans, and that's fine. Some Indian fans enjoy Sanjay Leela Bhansali's movies. I find them appallingly regressive Hindutva lite. I read and kudos all kinds of fucked up kinky fic that many people find morally repugnant and I have some friends who write it and some who judge it. I love and support a healthy ecosystem of media criticism. But I am not going to spend my energy critiquing the choices that fans make.

All of which is to say, I may disappoint you if you expect my blog to set some kind of standard in fannish content. I'm open to being questioned, and to being corrected. But I also am here to play.

[airanke]

Do you know what dæmons are (from his dark materials) and if yes, can i see what you think Abi, dabi, and any of the others you wanna possibly share would be? (If no, 👉👈 can i tell you about it cause i would love to see more Dæmon aus for ocs tbh)

STOHSOUH ACTUALLY YES!!! I have looked into this and done some (very mild) research, and I have thought about what Abiteth's daemon would be! I initially had it as an Abiteth/Dante AU because I wanted to have some different AUs between my Abiteth x Dabi (and/or Touya) AUs, and TyTeth AUs, but!! I technically have an idea for daemons for all 4 😊😊

Unfortunately I don't have the strength to draw them right now (saving up my art strength for art fight!), but I can at least describe what I have in mind for their daemons (and also keeping in mind that the daemon is normally the opposite sex of the person which I love to see because that is actually something I thrive on LMAO).

Dabi would have a snake as his daemon, reflecting both his cunning, sly, and slippery nature, but also how his story is revolves around transformation and change. She would start as a snake with white or pale scales, then after the fire she and Dabi would suffer from a forced separation?? Then reconnect, so Dabi can be away from his daemon for a significant amount of time. After this and after Dabi dyes his hair, she chooses to manifest as a large black cobra, and once he reconnects with his family (if he does and if there is healing there and NOT what we got in the fucking canon) then she would settle as a white snake. Not entirely sure on breed in this case!

Touya would have a wolf as his daemon - wolf pup to full-grown wolf. I don't have much to say in regards to that story wise, just that I know he would have a wolf. His daemon being a wolf reflects his loyalty, love for his family, and honestly leadership. Obviously this is in an AU where he doesn't go through the specific trauma that led to him becoming Dabi.

If this was a twin AU, then both Dabi and Touya would have wolves. Touya would have a red wolf, and Dabi would have a white wolf. Similar to if it was JUST a Dabi AU, his wolf would go through the same thing that Dabi and his snake go through (also realistically, until both of his daemons settle in either depiction, they would shift between wolf and snake, just that in the case of twin!Dabi, his daemon settles as a white wolf). The twins both having wolves makes so much sense to me because at the end of the day, they both love their family (and each other) and work well together no matter how many arguments they have, so the wolf speaks to both Touya and Dabi's personalities. Both Touya and Dabi's daemons would settle.

Abiteth's daemon regardless of AU would never settle, but choose to be in a specific primary form depending on which AU it is. Touya's Abi would have a male elk as her primary Daemon, which reflects Abiteth's strength and good heart. Dabi's Abi's daemon would primarily show himself as a tarantula, which reflects her resilience, patience, and general creativity. Twin!Touya/Dabi's Abi's daemone would show himself primarily as a tarantula too, I think. Dante's Abi's daemon would show himself primarily as a frog/toad, reflecting her adaptability and how grounded she can be - but also how slippery she is. In the case of Dante's Abi, her daemon would also primarily appear as a raven (which is true for all of them but yeah, IDK if I'm making sense LMAO). Abiteth would be classed as a witch if I was going with a proper His Dark Materials AU.

Dante would also class as a witch, and his daemon would show herself as a few different kinds of birds of prey, interestingly enough. She'd jump between a harpy eagle, bearded vulture, and macaw. The eagle in particular is a good reflection of Dante because of his intimidating appearance and prowess. I don't know if his daemon would ever settle, but since Abiteth's won't settle, I don't think his would either.

SO AS A RECAP OF EVERYTHING IN MORE SIMPLE TERMS:

Dabi's daemon - snake Abiteth's daemon - tarantula

Touya's daemon - red wolf Abiteth's daemon - elk

Twin Dabi's daemon - white wolf Twin Touya's daemon - red wolf Abiteth's daemon - tarantula

Dante's daemon - harpy eagle Abiteth's daemon - frog/toad (sometimes raven)

IDK WHAT I'M DOING BUT I'M HAVING FUN SO HERE YOU GO!!!

[odinsblog]

A black man was also helping subdue Jordan Kneely. He viewed him as a threat to other people as well.

First of all, his name was Jordan Neely, not Kneely.

And the cowardly murderer who snuck up behind Jordan Neely and strangled him for 15 minutes is Daniel Penny.

Second, whenever a white person murders a Black person—from George Floyd to Tamir Rice to Trayvon Martin to Breonna Taylor—you can depend on white people trying to derail their murder by either invoking Black-on-Black crime, or victim blaming, or character assassination, or engage in endless equivocating about why the murder was maybe possibly somehow justified because of unspoken (but very well known!) racial stereotypes. This ask is an example of the last thing.

Look, anon, your “gotcha” isn’t nearly the argument you seem to think it is.

What is key in Jordan Neely’s murder is the race of the victim.

There are any number of studies that have repeatedly shown that when a murder victim is Black or non-white, the police, the general public and the so-called criminal justice system are less than concerned about meting out justice to the killer. If, however, the victim is white, then everything changes and justice suddenly becomes much much more important. For example: the state of Florida has had the death penalty forever, but it wasn’t until 2017 that Florida gave the death penalty to a white man for killing a Black man—2017, for the very first time.

Why do you think that is, anon?

I’ll give you a hint: it isn’t because that was the very first time a white man murdered a Black man in Florida.

It’s because it’s the race of the VICTIM that matters here in America.

Also, please understand something else here…

There are LGBTQ people who vote for openly homophobic Republicans.

There are Black people who vote for racist Republican candidates.

There are Black police officers who harass and murder unarmed and innocent Black people.

There are women who have had or plan on having an abortion who vote for anti abortion candidates.

There are immigrants and former refugees who who will vote for the same racist conservative candidates who vote against asylum seekers and any immigration reforms.

Absolutely NONE of this is a valid excuse for racism, misogyny, homophobia or xenophobia.

What’s important to remember here are the wisdom of Martin Luther King, Jr’s words:

“Every minority and every people has its share of opportunists, profiteers, freeloaders and escapists. The hammer blows of discrimination, poverty and segregation must warp and corrupt some. No one can pretend that because a people may be oppressed, every individual member is virtuous and worthy. The real issue is whether in the great mass the dominant characteristics are decency, honor and courage.”

And lastly, but most importantly: SOMEONE YELLING AND HAVING A BREAKDOWN IN PUBLIC IS NOT “THREATENING” AND DOES NOT JUSTIFY MURDER. MAKING PEOPLE UNCOMFORTABLE IS NOT “THREATENING” AND DOES NOT JUSTIFY MURDER.

So in closing, 🖕🏿