#PUT ME ON THE TABLE AND JUST ??? LEFT????
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emotional support wolf meets too-shy-to-live sneetah
#this particular image has not left my head since its conception and now i have finally drawn it#for those who don't know:#cheetahs are actually anxious AF and suck at functioning in captive environments#so some zoos have had success giving them Companion Dogs#friend dog is not nervous?? ah. then i do not nervous. i continue eat#i can't remember if this companion dog thing was supposed to also boost the cheetah breeding rate??#i might be mixing them up with pandas#now i'm just imagining the zookeepers introducing a mate for yakumo and he just looks to garu for affirmation#and garu is like 👍😄👍 in the background#so yakumo (newly encouraged) tentatively slinks away with the new addition#yaku sneetah with loooong limbs and ungainly large paws. yeah. shoulda made the paws bigger actually. MORE ungainly#actually.... should put karu in there too... TWO companion wolves...#they flank yakumo while he's eating so he feels secure LOL#there's another photo i saw of a cheetah and dog chillin with their trainers or whatnot#and the dog is SOAKING up the attention. splooting on the ground. happy as can be#and the cheetah is just awkwardly standing on the table like. help me. who are you people. i do not want to be here#*smooshes yakugaru together* THEY ARE!!! HELPING EACH OTHER!! BE BRAVE!!!!!!!!#nu carnival yakumo#nu carnival garu#yakugaru
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🍊
#I went to a brewery with some friends this evening#And as I was getting ready I found myself suddenly remembering an outing from a wintry college evening many years ago#There was a bar on a quiet street near campus that served beer towers (100oz glass tanks that you could split with a group)#And they’d add orange slices if you ordered Blue Moon‚ which felt very sophisticated to cornedbeefhashtwink and his Hollister flannels#Later that night‚ a woman who had left the bar earlier marched back inside and sidled up to my table clutching a slip of paper#Unbeknownst to me‚ she had been sitting with a young man who had spent the evening shyly watching me sip my Blue Moon#And she had his name and phone number in hand#This was bewildering on several levels#I had never actually seen this guy‚ so I had no idea who was hitting on me#And if I was unprepared to be hit on‚ I was even less prepared to be hit on by proxy#More importantly… I was fully closeted at that point in my life#And a stranger had just materialized out of thin air to make a Gay Announcement#I accepted the paper with a rising sense of flattered panic‚ doing my best to casually play the whole thing off#And then I went straight home and Googled#He was very cute‚ as it turned out#I was in no position to reach out to him (and he was from out of state anyway)‚ but that slip of paper felt like a lifeline#And I’m just feeling very tender thinking about it right now#Almost a decade and a half later#I wonder if he remembers putting his friend up to leaving his number all those years ago whenever he sees an orange slice floating in beer
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Just finished Fool Night vol 7 (chap 63) and clutching my head. Mayhaps I shall never be the same. Oh Mukuru Izumi the villain that you are… "What’s back teryas? Veer usses?" "What’s oxygen? Is it like air?" "What’s that? What are you holding?" "Do you think I can live happily one day?" Just shoot me mysterious masked guy it’ll hurt less idc anymore just do it. This is my csm Aki I feel the tragedy in my bones even more here
It’s the cycle of revenge right, that goes on and on until there’s no one left to avenge the last one murdered— And the thought that there’d be no one that would remember or care or want or try to avenge Mukuru is the fucking saddest thing I’ve ever heard.
Trying to be as vague as possible to avoid spoilers but man. Fool Night, the manga that’ll make me cry over trees… Like so far I’ve only cried once and it was during the first umm trees field scene right, because it was simply too fucking real yeah that’d happen yeah, but my god. They’re not just trees they’re lives and they’re not just lives they’re humans and more but does it matter and what are souls???? What are feelings????? What is communication?????? "Oh sure I’ll bring you to Shiika." then that. evil.
…….. And also today I started NegaPosi Angler!!! Great and comfy so far very looking forward to watching it every week. For anyone who didn’t know yet I have a weird ultra fixation on fishing in media in general, Tsuritama and River King are two of my fave things, sooo this is perfect for me lol, came around just at the right time too. Big recommend. Surprisingly topical since both NegaPosi and Fool Night deal with poverty hm. It’s csm Denji meets FN Toshiro except this guy fixes his life through fishing. Bless.
2 works that make me say "I want to live!!" in very different ways! 😀 Fool Night’s out in english through Viz what are you doing here go check it out
#Fool night#kasumi yasuda#A renewed sense of gratitude for the education system flawed as it may be#I’LL FORGIVE YOUUU MUKURU I’LL FORGIVE YOUUUUU…… 😭😭#Apparently Viz isn’t doing a greaaat job…… thankfully the french manga translation industry is on my side so#Holding my head and staring at the floor for 2 mins#If the world moves on from Mukuru’s death just reset it actually just make a do-over just blow it up tbh#I want to make fanart…….. i’m……….. mukuru……………………………… and SHIIKAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAA#That’s bacterias and viruses btw idk how clear that was lmao. I tried bc again i read that in french so the mispellings were different#-remembers it again- aughhhaughhhhhhh punching the floor……#Like the protagonists dying would be less sad than Mukuru dying and that stopping there tbh not even joking. I’m?????? I need a hot sec#No one left to avenge Mukuru :((((((#That doctor lady btw i stan in my heart Mukuru Shiika and doctor lady are living together surviving trudging along#Like I can’t overstate how much this hit I took like 2 mins to recover from every other page and pace myself if this was some episode#that I wouldn’t have put on pause I’d have been a sobbing mess on the floor prob ngl#I’ve been on an horror binge since last month and I’ve watched stuff like The Coffee Table or The Devil’s Bath and even Speak No Evil right#… ok well maybe not more intense than speak no evil but this made me way more emotional than the coffee table tbh#Like my god. I need to breathe 🚬#The candies. The snow. Life :(#Cw organs
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So, my laptop is covered with stickers, as it tends to happen. And some of them have the ace flag because yes. Which causes some very interesting interactions.
At first it felt like a mistake since: sure, I was a cool kid at college but if I had to get my pc out while at an aunt's or other family members' house it felt like having a target 🎯 that allowed people to either pry into my life or be homophobic.
But then I realized old people in my family aren't that nosy nor do they immediately recognize horizontal lines as flags so I've been fine.
However, whenever my queer cousin shows up I panic because despite him being gay I can imagine him being acephobic.
So anyway, the lessons is:
That I should have fun decorating my laptop because at the end of the day if someone wants to be homophobic they will, regardless of anything.
#tbf at first I probably put ace stickers cause everyone had queer stickers and I felt left out#but just one of this days I was thinking that#yeah sure being ace is weird however having ace stickers might be even weirder(?#let me explain#if someone has a lesbian flag stickers people will go “oh that person likes women”#and that's it#it's understood that the person could date an be romantic with a woman#however and ace sticker sort of brings the topic of sex to the table#and being ace that's the one think you didn't wanna talk about#so it's all very awkward...#idk#that's probably just my experience and interpretation of it#at the end of the day the colors are pretty and they match the vibe#I do have thought of changing them and focusing on collecting aroace stickers#but ngl never have I ever seen one in person#for starters I've barely even seen aro stickers#so... yeah#also can we appreciate how pretty my laptops is? she has so much personality I love her
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the downside to being a sitcom neighbour sort of person is that when rough things happen and emotionally fuck u up a lil bit, it also sounds completely made up
#bert's dead dad tag#found out today the way my dad told mom he wanted a divorce?#he wrote her a letter and left it on the dining room table for her to find on the morning of her fortieth birthday#who the fuck does that dead father#like that is the sort of thing i would entirely make up if i needed everyone at the table to fuckin hate an npc#and at least one person would go 'you're laying it on a little bit heavy'#i know he did work to become a better person as he got older#which is good because BOY howdy was that man a piece of shit in the early 90s#and we are having Complicated feelings about it tonight and also for the last nine months#something something when i was writing his eulogy i came across an old article discussing something he did in the 90s#YDIP (your dad is problematic)#like yeah this is the sort of thing that would have been vaguely acceptable in the cultural context#but like. still objectively bad. potentially ruining several lives sort of bad.#learned this and then wrote the rest of his eulogy about how he was a great guy and how i'm lucky to have been his son#(which was rough enough on its own because i've never said 'i'm [dad's name]'s son' as many times as i did that trip home)#but like what else do you do? i sent off a message looking for more information#and that information if it comes is just gonna sit with me i guess#sure as hell not telling my sister and this whole thing i've been getting through without really having anyone here for me to talk to#(hence the big fuckoff tag rant. your problem now losers who like clicking the read more button)#so even if i get all the answers i want about this one thing it's not gonna do any good except putting an end to one question#but part of having a dead dad who's been out of the business of forming new memories since you came out is having more questions#answering this one's just gonna add even more questions to the pile#but. got fuckall else to do
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they look half dead ☹️
#weezer#rivers cuomo#brian bell#patrick wilson#matt sharp#i rlly like rivers’ hair in this one! it’s epicness#i liked his hair in the 90s with his bowl cut.#bowl cuts are cool#and he looked great w it !#anyways yesterday was my boyfriend’s birthday party; and i got him some chaos emeralds from sonic that he’s been wanting like ; forever!#it was fun for the most part; but nobody told me we would be swimming plus i was the only girl there sooo i was just sitting around while#everybody swam and stuff. and my friend hayden i guess felt bad so he stayed out of the pool despite having swimwear and just played mobile#games with me; which was fun and i really appreciated but this guy ; who will remain nameless was being rlly mean to me at the party#like he was saying stuff abt how my boyfriend didn’t really like me THAT much (we have been together for nearly a year…)#and other things like that; which made me rlly sad and i kept asking my mom to pick me up but she wasn’t answering so i couldn’t do anything#besides trying not to cry and stuff. but it’s okay#and after everybody went inside besides me and my boyfriend ; we were cleaning up the table since the guys left all their trash and i had#like a whole pile of trash; like tons of plates and a whole stack of trash still; the guy from earlier who was mean just like#put his trash on top of the trash i was already carrying inside#since the guys were all crowded around the trash cans (he was closest; but he couldn’t throw it away; rather he wanted to deliberately just#put it on the pile i was carrying ) and it wouldn’t be a big deal if he wasn’t mean earlier; i wouldn’t have cared so much#but he was being real mean and just did that. and i’m a passive person ; but i rolled my eyes a ton at it and idk it felt like the#other guys were laughing; which made me feel even more awful about the fact but yeah so i rolled my eyes tons and he told my bf that he was#sorry about it; but didn’t say it to me and stuff and idk it just made me feel bad#when i was younger i got bullied a lot and people would throw their trash on my lunch tray n it just reminded me of that and made me sad;#but it’s okay now! other than that i had a good time and it was fun! my boyfriend said he loved my gift to him so ya! :D it was fun other#than the stuff with the guy! but yeah. not rlly weezer related tags today; just really wanted to get that off my chest#my boyfriends mom asked if i felt left out; which i definetly did and really wanted to go home but ik i couldn’t so i was just sitting at a#table alone for abt 20 mins while everybody was changingninitially#but it’s okay! ty for listening to my rant i love u all
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i wonder if they’ll drop ramuda’s preview during the hangout stream this week??? like if they do, there might be a world where these erratic drops are actually hinting at story developments. like jiro and saburo’s previews came out on time but ichiro’s was crazy late lol and he wound up being the cause of conflict in the track, so posse’s releasing on time might mean posse is like, sooo united on their front lmao 🤔
#vee queued to fill the void#it would be nice if that were so lol gentaro’s solos spiralling to this point plus the loneliness that’s been encroaching in story#do make me worry lol but hey!!!!! ameyume hitting that leader/2gumi soulmates beat#so if ramuda can find solace in his posse despite his identity issues so can gentaro!!!!!!#try telling your truth to them again lol!!!!! it might go better this time!!!!!!!!#for the mtc releases that would mean juto is the source of conflict and idk how i feel about that lol#it could just mean juto has a surprising development like it really could mean anything lol#*slams fist on table* THE TRACK IS TODAY AND I LEFT MY DAMN JP PHONE AT HOME DESPITE GOING OUT OF MY WAY TO PUT IT NEAR MY BAG#I DONT WANT TO WAIT 10 FCKING HOURS I WANT THE TRACK ON TIME
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It's really nice having a free housekeeping service thru my Medicaid but ever since my regular housekeeper that I had for a year (now friend) got promoted in March it's like every other person I've had fuckin hates disabled people
#there was one perso who would drive by my house to clock in (your location has to show that you're at the client's house) and leave#found out when i called and was like hey why has no one been showing up and the office was like it shows shes been clocking in there what??#apparently i wasn't the only one and she got fired#and then we had a woman who treated my shift like it was her break time#i mean she would sit at our table and eat a full meal and talk on the phone as loud as possible instead of cleaning#she'd clean for 20 minutes usually just dishes then spend the rest of the time eating or playing on her phone or on a phone call#she would put away WET TOWELS i mean they were more than just 'damp'#and once left a full unflushed shit in our toilet with shit stains on the toilet seat#i remember once she sat outside in our front yard on a phone call and when i went out there to ask what was going on#she was just like ''im on the phone'' and ignored me#i asked for her not to come back several times and they sent her 2 or 3 more times#and then i got a new lady who just straight up lies to my face#i give her a list of what i need done for the day and she will only do the dishes#then sit at our table and be like ''oh i got everything else done I'm just waiting on laundry''#and then I'd look to see that actually nothing else was done at all counters dirty floors dirty LAUNDRY NOT DONE#i confronted her last time#i was like ''hey I've asked for the bathroom to get done the past few times now and it hasn't been''#and she was like ''yes I did clean it'' so i wiped my hand across the sink and showed her the dust and grime stuck to my fingers#and then didn't clean it again that day. and said sat at the table saying she was waiting on laundry. and no laundry was done#and said she swept the living room which absolutely was not swept#bc I'd get out the vacuum and she'd be like ''oh i can just use the broom'' (on the carpet??)#I'd get the bathroom cleaning supplies out and she'd just put them away#and i dont mean that im being super picky about wanting things cleaned prefectly#or thaf she's ''not doing it right''#she's literally not doing it at all#i told my friend/ex housekeeper about this and she told me that every other person who's had her also asked for her not to come back#oop she's here. it's gonna be her last time i called the office and set it in stone this morning that she wont be coming back#.bdo
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i love how when customers need something they just stand 5 feet away and stare at me and don’t say a word it’s a very good way of communicating what they’re looking for and needing from me
#the boomer today standing at the door of the fitting room and just pointing at it so i went ‘someone’s in there’ and so she knocked on it#and the lady inside went ‘just a minute!’ and the boomer knocked again and stood there impatiently while the lady tried on her stuff#and then the boomer left all the clothes she tried on inside out and just threw them on my table rather than handing them to me or putting#them on the rack or anything like okay? and her and her husband were just staring at me as i was doing stuff so i left the area and they#both scoffed and started talking quietly. i do not care if you are inconvenienced if you can’t show me basic politeness and respect#i don’t care if that lady takes 3000 years because you threw your inside out tried on clothes on my table and refused to communicate like#a normal person#or the lady today asking if we had more of something in the back . . . to be so fr i walked back there and stood in the freezer for a#minute because it was hot in store. and then i came back to her and said yeah we don’t have any#knight rambles
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#oh wow...#i just had an oh shit fuck moment#wow#i usually complain about the one therapist i had in my entire life and how she wouldn't just listen to what i was saying#if it didn't fit her textbook definition of whatever she was thinking at the time#and how i talked to her about my anxiety and how that made me feel and she would only focus on how i acted#so the example i gave her was the one time i went into a shop to buy something by myself#because my mom didn't want to go in for me and arguing with my mom in front of the shop in public and then inevitably have to#go in myself either way was way worse to me#because of the embarrassement of arguing in public. the fact that my mom was gonna spend the entire walk home telling me how i have to#''just suck it up and learn and just overcome my anxiety because i don't have a problem'' or whatever#and then having to go into the shop where the lady had been watching me from inside the entire time how i clearly didn't want to go in#and possibly be even more awkward with teary eyes because of the anxiety and awkwardness i already bring to the table any day...#all of those things that were going inside my head were trumped by the fact that i did go in and did buy what i needed#although my heart was coming out of my chest the entire time... all that didn't matter to my therapist because in her words:#''if you had anxiety. you simply wouldn't have gone in''#which is ridiculous#but anyways... i just had an epiphany... that was masking wasn't it?#forcing myself to do something that brings me major discomfort to make my mother and the shop lady not judge me?#pretend i'm a normal human being just doing normal things instead of someone who's about to have a heart attack buying embroidery thread?#panicking the entire time because i wasn't prepeared and hadn't scripted the entire transaction in my head?#yet still going in and putting on my ''normal person'' mask to try to seem like i wasn't just dying seconds ago (and still was)?#isn't that literally what masking is?!#and the ''autism specialist'' ass therapist was like ''if you did it then you don't have a problem''#when i'm literally telling her how much of a problem it actually WAS?!#you know what's the best part about all this#that when i told my mom after i left that therapist that she didn't listen to me because [insert everything above]#my mom's response was ''well sometimes therapist will say things that you don't want to hear but you have to accept them''....#same woman who's always saying how much she hates therapists because they ''will say whatever and pretend they know shit''#ok so it's only The Truth when I tell you it isn't...
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chill maritime beats to do the accounts to
[this is @benjhawkins's oc charlie fortune!]
#em draws stuff#sometimes I get suddenly possessed by the Need To Draw My Friend's Guys and then just go into some kind of Drawing Spiral#please open this one up larger for I've spent so very long putting textures on things#do not ask me what his desk is doing (I have no idea)#I was originally aiming for something that felt like the old drafting tables I used to use but things got weird somewhere along the line#and also come to think of it he's probably not left-handed... well that's where referencing lofi girl too strongly gets me!#aaaaaanyway it was nice to actually get to use the fact that I endlessly scribble tiny shipyards in a finished piece for once#and I'm very pleased with how the lighting turned out!#it seems that I draw him at about six-month intervals so it was very fun to look at my improvement over the last two years
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I've been awake for an hour and I've already slipped and fallen on the ice and am having an unrelated meltdown in the bathroom at work
#I don't even know whyyyyyy#like it's just frustrating and insulting when I spent all this money getting ready for winter#and I spend all this time wanting to contribute to this job#only for them to dismiss me and put me inside to clean the table??#bc of course I need to be sheltered and god forbid I'm cold#bc I'm only this little pathetic kid still who can't do any of the grown up work#but of course it's a given the big strong man who's been here six months#who hasn't lived here his whole life#of course he's allowed to be outside doing the real work#and I know I know this isn't st all their mindset#they're trying to be nice to me and they don't think he's any better for being a guy#(maybe consciously oops)#but I still frustrated me a lot and I'm just taking it extra bad this morning#on a side note mostly unrelated never thought I'd Be such a raging feminist wow#all bc they don't make fucking women's work clothes#I feel like by saying I'm a feminist I always have to clarify I love trans people I love you mwah#bc of all the negative connotations#only been at work for 20 minutes bc I left late and then had to double back to get my hat#which of course I don't need#bc why would I#kestrel calls#chitter chatter#negative
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actually, because of that secret secret i just read, i’m going to post this thought before i forget about it, actually — for the last few days i’ve been turning over the idea of dan heng x reader where the reader, a chef or at least competent cook, joins the express and works as chef to save everybody from himeko’s… creative dinner plans (inspired by the recent event)… and there’s something about the effortless, easy confidence with which you navigate the kitchen which dan heng admires. it’s an art form of its own, really.
(plus, as i mentioned, everyone loves you because you’re there to step in and lend some guidance when himeko decides it’s her turn to cook…..)
#idk the domestic vibe is just on point#i WAS thinking that i have to give reader some trauma because like… come on. be serious here. we can’t have them be UNtraumatised#but… for the first time ever… i think i might not give them intense and horrific trauma?#maybe it’s the generous christmas spirit possessing me or something#but i feel like the reader being genuinely… fine is something the surrounding cast and especially dan heng could appreciate#because there’s no need to dwell in emotional baggage around them and it’s just very comforting#the reader does have some emotional struggles here of course — maybe something to do with their family? not a great relationship there?#there’s got to be a reason why they left their home to join the express#but i get the idea that they’re the kind of person who doesn’t dwell on hardship too much where they experience it#which doesn’t mean they’re 100% okay but they are pretty content with life most of the time#and again this easy-going-ness really helps dan heng wind down around them#plus cooking!#before reader joined i think the express crew had a cooking rota (now they do most of the cooking but sometimes someone else takes the helm#(stelle not included because she would unironically place a bin bag on the table and tell everyone to ‘eat up’)#(in fact this did happen once and is why she is no longer on the rota)#also! reader collecting recipes from every world they visit (especially from planets or people who are dwindling in number/ at risk)!#as a way of not only learning but also preserving the memories and cultural identities of different groups#reader asking dan heng to show them how to use & put these recipes in the data bank!#dan heng initially asking them how they made this one dish… and this spirals into routinely midnight cooking sessions#reader falling asleep in the archive/ dh’s room while organising their recipes after one such midnight cooking session#etc etc#i need to sleep now goodnight#r.ambling in the tags#dan heng x reader
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yeah i just gotta say it. im really sick of being constantly stressed out and pissed off because my roommate doesn't know how to be a considerate person and acknowledge that they share a space with two other people. there's more to this thought but i really don't want to rile myself up any more than i already am.
#★#the image that beck posted of our kitchen didn't include the piles of laundry left on the ground or the state of our dinner table#which is just. covered in their shit and there's not even a place for me to put down a cup (if any of them were clean) to pour myself a#glass of water. like. okay#and then they get home and immediately start watching a movie and talking incredibly loud next to our bedroom#im over it. im really over it
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mei save me mei. mei dragon save meeee
#raii talks a lot#she’s sooooooooo. you don’t understandddddd#I’ve been rewatching and there’s just. so much in retrospect that ties in with that one scene in s4 where she talks about#never changing or growing stronger and stuff and stuff and it puts that racing episode in such a different light#to ME. like her getting so upset about mk being all “yeah no I can beat you at this” and it’s this thing that she’s really good at almost l#*like her unique skill that she brings to the table yk? and mk is always growing more powerful and finding new abilities and and#do you think mei feels left behind do you think mei feels stagnant do you think in s5 when she was talking about her and mk duo#adventure that it really meant something. do you think she felt thrown off by mk trying to “take her thing” in the racing episode#does any of this make sense. fine if not she’s just very important to me <3 transgender also. bad terms with her parents#mei feeling stagnant mei feeling left behind mei feeling like that little kid who didn’t fulfill expectations and didn’t get to have fun#like other kids mei who is locked onto this “new” family and friends mei MEI#hmm. do you know who is also transgender and left behind. and whose name begins with m. biggest widest wettest eyes blink blink
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achievement unlocked: accidentally starting something in my tiny town.
#To put it simply: local thrift store has a 48 hour hold policy. Wanted a furniture piece that would be helpful w dad being more homebound.#Was told it was bought two days before and lady would be back for it. Was in thrift store again today. Four days later.#Asked if policy meant it was back up for grabs or not. Shop manager herself said after six days abandoned when they needed floor space#I could take it home as long as I picked it up today. Slapped money down for it thinking SWEET NOW HE WONT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT STEPS#dear reader. The woman had the audacity to show up for it not long after I left with it. Owner stood by store policy.#Oh facebook having a field day about this little rolling table.#out of stories#ANYWAY IT'S GONNA BE SO HELPFUL IT HAS FEATURES TO BE A NICE LIL MINI DINNER TABLE FOR MY PARENTS + ME IF THEY WANT JUST FOR THEIR ROOM.#SO ON DAYS WHERE HE CAN'T WALK OR BALANCE HE CAN JUST HOBBLE TO HIS CHAIR AND SIT AND EAT AND STILL HAVE DINNER W US.#NO MORE WORRYING ABOUT HIM AND THE STEPS!!!
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