#PATHETIC ASS CREATURE

[cityofmeliora]

Terzo's fucked up sore throat voice 🤒

PAPA EMERITUS III: As you can hear, my voice is really, really, really fucked up. How am I doing so far? Are we having fun? Have you had a good day? A nice Friday here in Paris, huh? Have you watched any football? No? Alright, I'm sure you will see a few matches or two in the coming month. I need some water. Just a second. Alrighty, then. We have a couple more songs for you tonight. I understand you like really heavy shit here, huh? Huh? You wanna hear a really heavy motherfucker? We have our heaviest motherfucker lined up for you here tonight. So join us now in 'Mummy Dust'... Download Festival - Paris, France (June 10, 2016)

[tawnysoup]

Found my fav Slay the Princess route recently. Dragon my beloved. Your horrifying beak mouth was an impossible-to-refuse lip syncing challenge 💖

Shoutouts to @blacktabbygames for making such a cool game!

[justaz]

every time merlin follows arthur out on hunts or quests or what have you, he snatches food from the kitchens and goes around feeding the animals in the forrest while he’s not protecting arthur and the rest of his idiots from danger. now as they all make their way thru the woods, theres a trail of deer, mice, birds, rabbits, and wolves that just follow behind them. a group of bandits gets the drop on them and start to go after merlin when a bunch of birds swoop down from the trees and start pecking at the men and wolves encircle merlin, growling and the men, and they all turn to see huge stags with even bigger antlers glaring at them before they headbut the men with their antlers and knock them out cold. if disney existed, gwaine would joke that he’s a disney princess

[dykesynthezoid]

Think it would be fun if we found out Armand DID absolutely throw 18th century Lestat around at least a little bc you knoooow it would invoke the Magnus trauma. Also it just kind of makes sense bc Armand is so much older and more powerful (at least pre-Lestat Akasha juicebox); but honestly mostly the Magnus thing. Something about Lestat throwing himself into vampirism with the assurance that at least now he is powerful, at least now no one will ever have power over him like that again. And then out of nowhere finding he is actually sorely mistaken on that front.

[deer-with-a-stick]

How did the Abbot fuck up the forging process so badly

Multiple night creatures are outright retaining their original souls and personalities

I'm cackling he's so bad at this

[alumirp]

breaking news: vampire, clown and ghost torment disabled human

a story about a war veteran who moves to the countryside to have a peaceful life after losing a limb, but the house is haunted by a ghost, the basement is inhabited by a clown whose existence is very doubtful and the attic belongs to a alcoholic vampire and these three get together to try to kick out the new resident, but he's so pathetic (traumatized as fuck) that they feel sorry for him and start taking care of him and keep the 'tormenting' part very basic. the veteran is very confused about who cooks him meals and cleans the house but also leaves bloody messages on the wall to remind him to take his medicine

(There's also this weird ugly slime/sand monster that lives in the house's plumbing and makes weird sounds when he's in a bad mood (which is always), but the less said about this guy, the better)

1/3

[ai-pussy]

watched demon seed today movies that would be so good if they were good proteus is cute ngl but. hm. yknow

i like how he exploded into pyramids at the end. based. hes trangle

[sco07ut]

fantasy au doodles but there is a common denominator 🤨🤨

these bitches r bloody and insane ! !

[planet4546b]

thinking about pit group again. really funny that on one side is ig and fish going ‘i hope you die faster so that i can start incorporating your bone marrow into my body bc i hate you 😑’ and on the other side is elo and niner going ‘if you ever try to contact me again i will start weaponzing slime molds to come and GET you’ and in the middle is glass going ‘I Let The Top Ten Most Dangerous Predators In My Can Bite Me To Rank The Pain Of Their Bite! Number One Will Surprise You 🤯’

[yappabackup]

imagine if my art appeared in the tag

[thebongcloudopening]

literally nothing is funnier to me than my own obsession with the emperor

[misano17]

I was designing a character for a minecraft server I’m in with my friends and like

I think he turned out pretty good :)

[courtjester69420]

A little obsessed with how few fucks Canadian customs gives at 5:30 am. My man didn’t even look at the digital declaration slip I filled out electronically in about 1 min max

[sasaleletrebol]

[woodsborostabathon]

the duality of spending most of my time whenever i talk abt a specific character dunking on them for many a reason vs blocking ppl on sight for saying (1) genuinely hatercore thing abt them

[warthogreporter]

A second look at the human fucker community on monster tumblr

🧜‍♀️ Hermaid Follow

After a while you start to notice some trends in how people talk about fucking their hoomans

Vampires: This is Brother Reginald Regicus Regicum who I slowly corrupted and tempted with earthly desires across several long years until he became a creature of the night like myself. We're throwing his one year vampirization party in a month, here's the invite, if you don't come it's a personal insult, to me.

Orcs: This is Himby the Himbo who I snagged in some raid I did because I got bored on my way to the grocery store. It's funny when I make him wear cat ears.

🐻 Beard-Toucher Follow

Demons: These are Sir Good and Sir Goody. I make them wear matching collars because of how they were all but boyfriends before I enthralled them with my dark magic. You noticed their matching collars right?

Werewolves: You'll never believe this, but my human Stucky, who used to be called Lady Stuck Up, was actually a repressed and stuck up person before I helped her embrace her wild side TM.

🐍 Scaled-Scales-Scaling-Scales Follow

Naga: ...Anyway after spending 400,000 years praying I finally met the human who is the love of my life and we recited mantras together, after 200,000,000 years of this we began to *blushes* hold hands and then the gods...

Other kinds of dragons: This is King Dragonslayer the Unfucked. I use him as a display stand for my jewels when not fucking him.

(164,597 Notes)

🐙 WetterThanYou Follow

Showing the humans parts of their world they've never seen (the depths).

(9,846 Notes)

🐎 Seventaur-deactivated20230527 Follow

Man humans really are such pathetic creatures

🐎 Seventaur-deactivated20230527 Follow

Stop reblogging this as a human fucker post! I advocate for exterminating those pests! It's literally in my bio! Human Fuckers DNI!

👿PazuzuOfficial✅ Follow

Hey OP we need to 'talk' IRL. Don't bother turning on your location, I already know it.

(369 Notes)

🐺 HereWolf Follow

Seeing elves in human fucker communities is always such a "bro thinks he's on the team" moment. Oh yeah you're so different from humans with your pointy ears and... oh right that's literally it.

🛣️Elf-Hater Follow

Elves are like humans but lame and pretentious, even lame and pretentious humans are better. Eying a 'human' only to notice pointy ears is like biting into a blueberry muffin thinking it's a chocolate muffin, if blueberries tasted like shit.

🧝Elfeven Follow

🥺

🪓Orcasionally-Really-Cranky Follow

If it makes you feel better I fuck both humans and elves, just got back from a raid where I scored plenty of elves to make into my obedient little whores.

🧝Elfeven Follow

That doesn't make me feel better.

(685,734 Notes)

🦅Feathery Follow

Finally going to an actual human town. What do human eggs look like? Don't want to cause any problems by mistake.

🦋 Gregory-Grigori Follow

People on this webbed site will really just say anything about hoomans huh?

🐂 No-Yournotaur Follow

OP, humans don't lay eggs. It's weird that you thought they did. They're mammals.

🦅Feathery Follow

I thought they were like platypi no need to get up my ass about this

🐂 No-Yournotaur Follow

Okay you know what fair.

(5,873 Notes)

🦋 Gregory-Grigori Follow

I'd say good morning, but I didn't wake up with a beautiful human on each side of me so actually it was yet another mid morning.

(4,384 Notes)

Click here for part 1 and here for part 3 and here for the Christmas special