#its a bit pathetic lmao
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How did the Abbot fuck up the forging process so badly
Multiple night creatures are outright retaining their original souls and personalities
I'm cackling he's so bad at this
#when isaac did it it was because the sinner soul was a weird ass pilosopher#and isaac was cool#but when it happens this many times and with the ORIGINAL souls#its a bit pathetic lmao#seriously its so funny#like ooh look at this scary forgemaster but his night creatures just feel really bad about being night creatures and refuse to listen#castlevania: nocturne#castlevania netflix#castlevania nocturne#castlevania#castlevania spoilers#the first show gave us two competent people and then the show runners decided “okay now we have to make the next one terrible at his job”#also just the “surprise i AM the father” lmaooo
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─────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───────────
─────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───────────
⟢ 내게 다가와, 다가와 .ᐟ
the dim light flickered in the cramped bathroom at the club, casting shadows that danced along the walls. the loud music from outside blasting in your ears.
gunwook leaned against the sink, a wicked grin plastered on his face, the signature white face paint accentuating the mischief in his eyes. his dark hair was slicked back, and he wore a crisp white button-up, the collar sharp and stark against his painted skin. a loosely knotted tie hung around his neck, the deep purple contrasting his tan skin perfectly. there was something intoxicating about the way he embodied the joker- dangerous, unpredictable, and irresistibly charming. you tried to play it cool, but the flutter in your stomach betrayed you. you stepped into the frame of the mirror, admiring the matching costumes, a playful grin adorning your face. he couldn’t help but stare at your reflection, so pretty and all dolled up- just for him. he saw the looks you gave him throughout the evening. of course he did. the effect his unfamiliar look had on you could never go unnoticed by him.
"come on, you know you want to," he teased, stepping closer, his fingers dancing over your barely clothed waist. you smirked, pulling him in by the tie, the fabric stretching just enough to hint at the playful tension between you two. "who said we can't have a little fun?" he whispered, his breath warm against your ear. his voice is low and seductive, the hint of danger in his tone sends shivers down your spine. in one swift motion he spun you around, pinning you against the cool tiles, your laughter filling the space.
"just a quickie, right?" you murmured, eyes sparkling with mischief and desire. "right," he breathed, leaning down to capture your lips, the world outside fading as you got lost in the moment. your kisses ignited a fire, a chaotic dance of lips and laughter. gunwook’s hands roamed, exploring the curve of your hips, pulling you closer as you tangled your fingers in his hair, deepening the kiss. the thrill of being caught only heightened your passion. you giggled against his mouth, the sound breaking the tension in the air, a playful reminder of the situation you were currently in. "let’s make it a little longer," you suggested, eyes glossy with lust as you nipped at his lower lip. gunwook raised an eyebrow, a playful challenge lighting up his features. "oh? you’re feeling daring tonight?" he teased, leaning back to gaze at you, the flush on your cheeks a perfect reflection of your shared excitement.
"always," you replied with a wink, heart racing as the door rattled slightly with the distant sound of footsteps outside. with one swift motion gunwook lifted you, pinning your back against the cool tiles once more. your laughter mingled with breathless whispers as you surrendered to the undeniable tension that sparked between you. he captured your lips in a kiss once more, time seeming to have come to a halt. the kiss deepened, a wild clash of lips and breath that ignited the air around you. gunwook’s hands roamed freely, one tangling in your vibrant hair while the other found its way to your waist, pulling you closer until your bodies were pressed together. the cool tiles were a stark contrast to the heat radiating between you two. your heart raced as gunwook’s lips moved against yours with an intoxicating urgency, his mouth curving into a wicked smile even as he kissed you. you could taste the thrill of danger in every brush of his tongue- his attitude and demeanor made you so incredibly needy you curiously started grinding your hips against his growing bulge. he groaned into your mouth, sending sparks racing through your veins. “stop baby, you’re gonna get us caught.” he whimpers against your lips, reminding you of the ongoing party outside that door once again "god, we’re in trouble," you murmured breathlessly between kisses, your words barely breaking the rhythm of his tongue against yours.
"and you love it," he shot back, his voice low and teasing, his eyes glinting with a mixture of mischief and madness. he pulled back just enough to look into your eyes, suggesting to continue this in a more private space.
#everybody thank my 🧸 nonie for this hehe#this took a little longer than expected oopsies#and also im too lazy to proofread this + make it look a bit less ugly#might edit this later today but its 02:30h am and i have work today#anywayz i got a little carried away w this#why am i too shy to write actual smut tho this is pathetic LMAO#ahem#☆ ; brr brr sierra on the phone ?#park gunwook#zerobaseone gunwook#zb1 gunwook#gunwook hard hours#gunwook hard thoughts#gunwook smut#zerobaseone hard hours#zerobaseone hard thoughts#zerobaseone smut#zb1 hard hours#zb1 hard thoughts#zb1 smut
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I dont think Mob is naive as much as he's socially unaware, like the reason why he trusts Reigen so blindly is a bit more complex than just him being naive
Cause Mob reached out to Reigen because he was desperate to find someone like him, someone who understood his psychic specific issues, someone that could truly know what he's feeling and going through and give him guidance and support
Post incident Mob's thinking process was something along the lines of my powers hurt people -> my powers are bad -> my powers (my emotions, my instincts, myself) cannot be trusted
So he lost all confidence and trust in his own actions, resigning to being as passive as possible to avoid any further damage to anyone else, thus he started doubting his own perception of reality too
He's a kid already struggling with being ostracised for being socially inept, who just got traumatised and all of his insecurity increased by the tenfold, he doesn't know how to process what he's going through. He needs help.
And here comes Reigen, seemingly reliable, a responsible adult in a child's eyes, someone who claims he can understand him
Even tho Reigen doesnt. But it doesn't matter, because Mob finds comfort in his words and takes them to heart
Even if Reigen doesn't fully get it, even if he doesn't see the bigger picture, even if his advice isn't always the best
Eventually, Mob grows up, realises Reigen isn't as honest as he seemed through his 11 year old perspective, but like most things, he refuses to acknowledge it on a deeper level
Mob knows, but never tells Reigen, never thinks about what all those lies mean to him (ofc until he forces himself to face those doubts regarding Reigen, to properly acknowledge both of their flaws and accept them as they are, I should scream into the void about Confession Arc more God)
Due to his lack of trust in himself, Mob has relied on Reigen for years now to shape his moral compass, his thoughts, his decisions
Because well, Reigen lies, sure, but he isnt a bad person. When he hurts Mob, it isn't intentional or with ill intent, he still wants the best for him, what's the issue?
Except that it stunts Mob's growth. He doesn't develop as a person, doesn't have goals or wishes or ambitions, can't make choices on his own, he doesn't even let himself acknowledge his own emotions, he refuses to let himself exist
But Mob realises in time that he wants more than that, he wants to become better and be independent and feel again
Still, he puts the acknowledgement of the lies on hold for as long as he can, unwilling to question the way things are
This can make him feel a little naive, he constantly relies on Reigen and trusts his decisions and raises questions rarely until separation arc when he finally puts his foot down
And I do think that moment is the most resounding proof we have that Mob knows and allows himself to be used by Reigen, not wanting to shake the status quo, until he gets fed up
I mentioned the social ineptitude at the beggining but idk if I should even elaborate on that, you've watched the show, you know what I mean
He's blunt and can't read social cues or tonality that well and can't speak in front of crowds and is overall pretty awkward and I do think some people conflate that with naivety
Mob is still a child, he doesnt fully understand how the world works at the ripe age of 14 years old, but some folks take that as him being inherently naive/innocent/whatever which I don't find true
#ppl do a similar thing with seri but for different reasons but i do think in his case its worse cause thats a whole ass adult#anyway. i dont think im saying anything new i just wanted to ramble <3#i missed mobposting what can i say#ik i saw somebody talk about this in a more eloquent way but i doubt i could find the post cause i dont think i rbed it so rip#mp100#mob psycho 100#kageyama shigeo#that ova needs to come out already im going insane#cine te a intrebat#also hope i didnt come off as too negative towards reigen or smth#but like. my favourite part of confession is him saying (i didnt know!) LIKE YEAH. U DIDNT. LMAO.#ppl treat him as a bit too reliable sometimes and dont give him a lot of room to grow like Reigen isnt even 30 yet!! he aint that old!!#he still needs to get HIS own shit tgt before giving out advice just saying. also he totally doesnt understand mob fully. how can he??#he never mentions the incident with ritsu and considering mobs inclination of never telling anyone anything unless prompted#i doubt he knows... like reigen genuinely doesnt know the extent of mobs trauma!! when he said I Didnt Know he meant that shit!!!!!!#which is like. fine. cause to me whats important is how he always wants to protect mob and support him and help him#even if he doesnt always know how. even if advice backfires. hes always there and hes always trying and hes just as human and flawed as mob#himself#ig what im getting at is just that im bothered by the Flavour of reliable adult fandom is giving him. hes a lil pathetic and#fucks up sometimes and thats fiiiiiine. i feel like i talked shit about reigen but i do think hes a good guy and IS reliable just not in the#gives great advice way. but in the Knows How To Talk And Bullshit His Way Through Everything and Has Genuinely Good Intentions (usually)#and will throw away all of his self preservation if the situation requires him to. his advice is good but can be vague idk ONE rlly managed#to balance his pathetic side with his helpful reliable side and i dont think i articulated it the best way but like.... hes simultaneously#pathetic and sad but also the most sane and reliable adult in this show. rant over see u next time byeeee
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the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍
#struggling to tolerate this one ngl its fucking dire this weekend. i just cant do this man#thr things i would fucking do for attention please. just one person to notice and care in the slighest i feel like im losing my fucking#mind out here how does every single person who has ever mattered to me in my lifr see me in distress and choose to ignore it or maybe they#dont even recognise im ij distress in the first place i dont know whats worse i dont think i hide it well at all im just so done#listen like ultimately its fucking fine. i will get myself through it like ive gotten myself through everything else in my fuckijg life#i dont even feel bad that often these days im doing so so so much better and its so much more tolerable to only have to deal with this#once or twice a week instead of it being a struggle every single day like i dont think i could go back to feeling like that again ever i#dont know how i managed to get througyh it before jesus fucking christ. but i can deal with it i can deal with this#ik ill feel fine tomorrow. its just thr fact im so desperately fucking alone with it that makes it so much worse than it has to be#i fucking hate repression i hate being so incapable of expressing myself that its easier for me to injure myself than it is to talk about#how i feel to anyone i hate being trapped in this stupif fucking torture labyrinth and not knowing how to get out of it and never being#given a single avenue anything to hold onto i hate having to do it alone every single fucking time and when i do try i just freeze out#entirely i cant form a coherent thought my brain enters total fucking shutdown pure static white noise fuzz and i dont know why please#its so unfair i dont think its that much to want a little comfort. just once just for someone to stay with me while i cry it doesnt have#to be more than that i just dont want to be alone like this i just want to feel safe around someone just close to someone just once#and well ill survive without it bc i always have i guess. so far at least. and there are many things im grateful for and i do in general#feel pretty okay my life is pretty good at times even. i feel so pathetic and stupid and ashamed for even feeling like this#but do i have to go my entire life without ever experiencing any kind of real intimacy with another person emotionally that is#i mean physical is nice too and they go hand in hand in some ways but i just want to feel seen and safe over anything.im tired#i feel like i try.but not hard enough i know its all my fault really but i dont know how to try any harder but nothing will ever change if#i dont i cant expect anyone to do anything if i cant rven communicate in thr first place. oh i dont want to think about it anymore#i have a headache from crhing and its not even 8pm ugh. okay. well it is what it is.#ill breathe until i calm down and then tidy up whatever i left in the kitchen and get my work stuff ready for tmr#and polish my boots maybe. and read and go to bed at 9:30 i think. and ill feel fine in the morning#my fault for thinking about it earlier i know i shouldve nipped it earlier on its such an easy spiral to fall into i need to get better#it happens. okay anyway. no cause for concern im good guys. weakly thumbs up at the camera all covered in blood#my period is late actually thats probably all this is lmao. makes sense thinking abt it#cant wait for it to finally start and all earthly desire to leave my body so i never experience pain again amen#.vent#ignore this sorry for being mentally ill im not even that mentally ill anymore so no excuse rly ummmm. bit embarrassing innit.
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so i was shooting the shit with the girlies in the group chat earlier and we were talking about the great outdoors, which, of course, are great to everyone...EXCEPT JERSEYKYLE who is basically a spoiled brat and pampered house cat and the only thing he thinks would be great about the outdoors...is if one of them would Fucking OPEN and take him back inside to civilization, cable tv and air conditioning.
like i think in the future when j.k. is working his full-time guidance counsellor job ( mr. bro, you are everything to me, baby ) they coerce him ( probably with pastries, paid vacation time and peer pressure ) into chaperoning the 5th grade weekend overnight camping fieldtrip, which ravenstanley marsh, of course, tells him is a great idea and it’d be fun to be out in the forest....It Was NAUGHT.
i am picturing him in like the big puffy orange jacket and like the grown up version of the green ushanka/ear muffs, shivering, snifflin, shrieking, crying about bears or red, blotchy, completely sunburned, totally bugging about bugs, tear-gassing everything with insecticide,
ready to End It All...
meanwhile future ravenstan, who i like to think went back to school, minored in wildlife, became an badass emergency travel veterinarian, is constantly on the move and on location ( and by that i mean like srsly impoverished third world countries, the amazon rainforest, rural new zealand where they desperately need vets, australia with all the shit that can fkn Kill You, buttfuck -40 siberia saving the polar bears )
working with non-profit wildlife protection and conservation efforts, has a little squad of hyper-vigilant zoomanitarian search and rescue emergency animal doctors that specifically head to dangerous places doing intense emt roadside surgeries, goth boy apothecary hot boy shit, foraging for supplies, making life-saving medicine out of tiny mushrooms and pieces of tree bark, running through fields with possible landmines in it to save endangered species, going full emo indistana jones adventuring and saving the world as captain stanet in no mans land w/ all his tattoos and piercings ( hero KING! )
...just pointing and laughing at teacher yersey when he finally gets thirty min of service on the helicopter flying out of snake island, brazil having nearly escaped having his flesh melted off by pit vipers doing important smart boy science research on different poisons and his fiancé calls him bc he got a bug bite and he thinks he's Cooked.
live laugh love ravesey style, everybody.
#nina speaks#i finally did my makeup after a month and feel human again#please clap lmao#BUT LIKE I AM OBSESSED WITH THEM THEYRE SO FUNNY#jerseykyle cannot be outside i am so serious he will die out there he needs to be coddled in several blankets#and complained that whole trip worse than the kids#and they had cabins and bathrooms and everything help#like ravenstan is out here in botswana swining from vines and shit deep in ravines making torniquettes out of branches#being a badass motherfucking enviornmental dora the explora ass bitch saving the WORLD!!! I LOVE YOU RAE#he does spend his summers with kyle and does local emt stuff so they can hang out bc it gets lonely out there#but no jk is so pathetic i love him so bad rs is like baby its just a mosquito you will live i promise#also dont get mad but they are emergency flying me out to a hospital because an extremely poisonous snake bit me#LIKE JUST NBD DONT WORRY ABT IT BESITOS MI AMOR#i am telling u that dating stan marsh prepared him THOROUGHLY for working with children who dont listen#and do stupid ass stuff and get hurt and make bad choices#LISTEN HES SAVING THE WORLD!!!! HUSH!!!#also his calves do look incredible u have to know this
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btw one of the things i want to do when i really rap up atbb for real is spontaneously get the energy at will to do actual updated fullbodies of the main 4 since now i actually have the ability to draw them the way they look in my head & have the skills to put some more variety in their shapes. basically i wanna
#warning big character design rambling in these tags but like. were u expecting any less#if ur wondering what changed-#first of all everybody has bigger hands bc i'm actively deciding to commit to that decision because i like it :3#next russ is a bit taller . i'll probably change some other things like making his armor look more solid & making him look more frail#-without it but i dont wanna pick up my tablet rn so thats all i feel like editing with my mouse lmao#edge has the biggest changes mostly in just being Wider. i want to make him Look stronger yknow#currently its just one of those annoying “skinny anime girl actually has 2d spraypainted abs and can lift a truck” tropes that i Hate#its a lil too many triangles when he should really be more like a triangle-flavored square. yknow#that being said the weirdly feminine hips were not intentional but only time will tell if they make it into the actual final design or not#i will not be making his pauldrons wider than they were originally. those things are already wacking everything around him they're fine#fluff's change is just being a bit skinnier so he looks more pathetic and sad. probably gonna try to make him look a bit younger too#but age is hard to represent with skeletons from The Land Of Sharp Features#i might also change up his pants/shoes more idk. Baggy Everything makes a very difficult silhouette and the boots are just boring tbhh#they're the bi flag but i dont think a single person has ever noticed lmao#and stretch's biggest change is that he's going to Have A Fullbody Reference That Isn't From 2019#probably make his hoodie longer/looser so i can make the transition to the leggings less awkward & show off his tank under it a bit more#the leggings & sneakers get to stay tho i think. the red wraps the design up well & the chicken legs are funny to me :>#and karma isn't here but he'll probably also get an update to be more square as well. and NOT SKINNYYYYYY#i gotta cram some more emotional repression & inferiority complex hints into his outfit so his post-void look contrasts more its IMPORTANT#AND ALSO NEVER USE UNDERTALE SPRITES AS A REFERENCE FOR ARMOR EVER EVER EVER AGAIN#that being said im really excited to one day finally sit down and draw his post-void design i think i'll have fun with that one#theres a reason my sf bros dont really fit their “roles” in the au yet like undyne & alphys do. hehehe#basically to sum up all these tags: becoming more skilled at art is a curse because you KNOW you can do things better now
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me: grieving over makoto yuki/minato arisato crying choking insaneing throwing a fit writing 10 paragraphs about him
makoto yuki is literally just selling ice cream.
#makoto yuki#minato arisato#tf bro what is my problem#hes literally living his best life as an anime character or whatever what was i even on abt#persona 3#proof that i should move on from p3fes and engage with other p3 media LMAO#its been a month. i rly rly should this is getting a bit pathetic n embarrassing for everyone to see#enjoy ur ice cream king... ur looking very gender today also#aishi.exe#aishi.txt
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thinking about solar and how absolutely fucking pathetic of a man he was
constantly nervous and trying to not offend ppl while also just trying to have ppl like him
while i COULD talk about solar/lunar bc thats a very obvious ship (like. theyre right there lmao) but i came here to talk about solar/sun bc i was looking through some of my old oneshots i made when solar first showed up (like- literally on ao3 there were FIVE fics about him. I WAS EARLY) bc i wanted to kiss his flat fucking face so badly
BUUTTTT one of the oneshots was of solar and wutever fuckin insert i used interacting and like. trying to get solar used to gentle touches since im a FIRM believer that that man had NEVER felt a gentle hand on him once he existed (except for maybe when he interacted with his sun in the headspace but thats not actually physical) and it was like "okay lets see how u react to certain things and get u used to it"
and i was like... wut if it was sun doing it with him? i feel like in the beginning he would try and avoid sun as much as he could while also DEEPLY yearning to be around him. bc he just misses his brother so much and he wants him back but he knows this isnt his sun but it hurts to see him and not be able to even touch him. not bc hes not allowed to, hes just too scared to make any moves to get closer.
IM GETTING A BIT OFF TRACK BUTBUTBUT- ill discuss sun and solars early relationship LATER in another post so imma talk about wut im REALLY here for
sun is just hanging out with solar and tries to help him figure out his feelings cuz hes like "i have no fucking clue wut im feeling or wut to do with myself" and sun is like"fuck it i can help" (pretend this is in character LMAO im just being silly and over simplifying :]) and they like- "practice" with solar being used to more gentle touches. like just holding hands and hugs and petting and all that stuff. bc even tho solar trusts sun he still has a deep burning feeling that he will be hurt at some point and sun makes it his personal goal to at least help him not feel like that as much
and ofc they end up kissing. y do u think im here??
solar is an EMOTIONAL MESS. bro does not know wut to do with himself but it doesnt matter bc he feels happy and safe and DAMNIT is he gonna enjoy it
#void whispers#celestialcest#celestial proship#anxietymechanic#sun/solar#proship safe#comship safe#can u tell i love shipping these 2 together?#i like shipping all the solar bots together imma be honest LMAO#i just. *holds them gently* theyre so fucked up#theyre so fucking pathetic and wet#so i make them kiss so they can be soggy together#ANYWAY#ill talk about them later I SWEAR#im just. i need to scream for a bit gimme a sec LMAO#also no im not gonna show that oneshot to anyone ever again#its good and its cute but i reread it and im like ''god i feel like im reading wut i made as a child''#made it a year ago but it feels like i was such a child during that#like I COULD DO BETTER#patting myself on the back tho bc my obsession with solar is wut caused me to even get into writing again#but man. some of my old work is a bit embarrassing to read through LMAO
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Wait shit people might actually care about me
#sorryyy for the personal posts lmao just not having a great time lately . ill go back to posting abt fandom stuff soon dw#hopefully the self loathing phase is over now cuz i really didnt enjoy that!#mf got me thinking thay everyone secretly hates me n itd be better if i was dead ahahaha#but like. my friends talk to me daily. my mutuals love me. i didnt go to school for like 3 days and my classmate who im kindaaa friends wit#texted me saying. and i quote “Hi [name]. I know its late but i hope your doing well. Hope to cya tmr.” (the full stops symbolize each text#cuz she sent three seperate texts)#and i was just. so flabbergasted at that#i didnt rlly think anyone would really notice if i was gone#i didnt think anyone cared me enough for that#i thought theyd just be indifferent to it#also i sound pathetic rn but i reread that girl's text over n over again when she sent rhat. was literally on the brink of tears#and i just. wow.#people might actually care for me. they might actuallynotice when im gone. they might actually miss me#ive been so inside my head n thinking allat bad stuff about myself that i. didnt think that people might see me differently than the way#i saw myself#really and truly i love you guys so much#even if we've never talked to each pther before or interact very little. i appreciate all of you. you guys rock#anyways aha i should stop rambling now loll. as for now i think im doing a bit better#life still sucks but hey at least i have my friends. at least i dont hate myself anymore now#at least now i dont believe that everyone was being friends with me out of pity#thank you all for everything :')#man i need a hug rn lmao#tw vent#tw sui implied#tw sui ideation#tw self loathing#tw self destructive behavior#<- dw about the tags i dont feel/do those anymore#if you wanna talk to me abt this or just talk in general hit me up!! i love talking to ppl i dont like being alone xd#love youu <33
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remembered the time someone once said tht my mike was "too mean" like ong?? man I could make him worse sorry
#I actually wish I wouldve answered tht ask it could've been funny#but damn made me insecure for like. a day. until I realized tht it was pathetic to be worrying ovr an anon ask LMAO#smtimes u just gotta smack urself a bit n realize its truly not tht srs#anyways ask box is open go hurt my feelings again if u agree/j
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#my posts#...........................................................................................................................................#............................................................................................................................................#is that enough i think that's enough#yeah that's how its going#everything's been getting worse and I've been feeling very bad but also very pathetic and like complaining almost makes me feel worse but#i can't do anything else about this so like. vent post lmao bc I'm a dumbass#i truly just want to(redacted)but one of those isn't an option and the other i have a drs appointment soon and i don't want to explain that#everything is just. bad. and what isn't i feel like it's getting bad and it's my fault. and I'm probably right.#just. i hate it here#the deserving mentality is truly getting to me and i fucking hate it. it's not logical. I'll still agree with it.#i truly don't deserve the food stuff i can't keep in my life and i deserve the shit that in getting and i can't stop agreeing with that#'oh this classmate wants to have lunch with me on Saturday after working on something! i should cancel before it's too late-#-so i can continue feeling bad for being an apple bc people should hate me bc I'm horrible and don't deserve kindness' like#it's. it's false. it's not logical. and yet#everyone else there's the fucking plexiglass wall and where it wasn't i think it's getting formed and it is my fault probably#i am annoying that one is true#.... I've been making posts like this all day and deleting them bc I'm pathetic also. it's.#... there's a little too much going on lmao#nothing's worth it and i feel like shit and anything i could try to do about it doesn't work and I'm just tired#... in case someone does read this i know it sounds worrying but nothing will happen tbh I'm just a pathetic coward who's sad and tired#and tired of being sad in a way that feels like it's getting worse#I'm not very sure when was the last time i felt. this bad in just. i don't know how to make it stop lmao#also in already annoying so this is all i can do i think lmao#i think I'm seeing now I'm just. being redundant and if i keep this up too much i will delete this. and i should but. i don't think i will#also without saying much this year the one thing™ has been worse than usual and that's not helping either so it truly is just.#that everything is kinda very bad#.... yeah. whatever. it's just.¯\_(ツ)_/¯#... i truly wish killing myself was still an option like when i was a teen bit it's not so i just have to deal with whatever this is#... i hate being aware this is all super illogical bc the logical post of my brain teams up making me feel worse somehow.
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Hey y'all weed posting on main, hope u don't mind. So anyway, babies first weed plant is working away!!!
#weed#drugs#shes a bit scraggly but also her seed was from a dried up weed branch i found in the back shed#that had been there for god knows how long (at least a year) lol#so im surprised she even got this far WOOWOOO LETS GO GIRL YOURE BEAUTIFUL#also those bulbs with the orange bits are okay and fine right?#my research suggests theyre just female parts but i was like oh god what if shes turning hermaphroditic#i think... i think shes okay tho. honestly i hope she finishes up soon cuz its getting cold out at night... worried for her#sucktacular sucks#ive no fucking clue what strain she is but judging by online research + old roomies weed preferences shes probably a sativa!#which idk how thats gonna go for me cuz im an indica bitch#my anxiety is insane dude im too scared of sativa lol#anyway everyone please give her a kiss goodnight!!!! 💕💕💕#also i hope this isnt the most pathetic weed ever grown LMAO shes doing so good all things considered
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i dont wanna count the weeks i just feel sad
#i hate crying and the only thing worse than crying is crying in public so no crying#we are not fucking crying get a fucking hold of yourself bitch#anywya its been like just over a month#what an awful fucking existence#had to talk to my therapist last week abt the fact that everything is just kinda horrible rn#nothing is good eerything even things i like and make me happy are just a little bit awful#bc i feel awful#i dont wanna eat i dont wanna go places i force myself to exist when id rather just curl into a ball and fade into nothing#quit fucking crying bitvch this is pathetic get a fcuking hold of yourself your moms dead get over yourself theres no time to be sad rn#got shit to do and a fuck ton to worry abt put the emotions in a little fucking box go get a pastry or smth jfc#maybe ill do some work#if my hands would stop shaking thatd be nice i probably need to eat but i rlly just dont want to hm#id go home but i prolly shouldnt drive when im in this sorta mood :/#the mood swings are sooooo fucking bad btw lmao#vent#idk how to tw tag this ugh#this isnt even abt anything im just talking rn
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oh damn i have therapy tomorrow (today. It's 4am) ughhhhhh i dont wanna do thst :/ but it might be good for me. Or something idk
#ive been sleeping all day so that i dont cry if i talk abt anything to anyone i will start crying LMAO#idek why. well. theres like. kind of a small thing . that ive been thinking about like everyday but its so pathetic to say out loud#but thats been happenign for months and ive long decided i cant do anything abt it cause i just. cant. so like idk#no alternatives either so im shit outta luck there but like. its been months surely its gotta be smn else? bit i cant think of anything. so#outside of like. everything. maybe I'm feeling bad cause my mom called me abt being on academic warning.whatever#i already have back up plans if i fail these next qaurters who caressss#.ares
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Blush and bubblegum? 🌹
Blush : I am single ✨️
Bubblegum : I do in fact Hate my love life with a burning passion at the moment lmao, it's basically non existent and it's probably not gonna change any time soon so rip me ig
pink themed asks
#its kinda pathetic at this point lmao#but whatever#its a small thing compared to the other stuff in my life rn#still bothers me a bit tho
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if I had money, I would pay someone to rewrite heaven official's blessing, but lesbian. if I was rich, i'd pay someone to turn it into a whole manga
#lee text#i want strong beautiful hot woman hua cheng. i dont find him *that* interesting now tbh. but if he was hot girl....#im still aroace i promise. i just appreciate pretty girl fhjdjjsksks#in general i find strong cool mysterious etc girl characters more appealing#and the whole story would be fun to see as lesbian. how would that play out hmmmm#imagine men flirt with girl xie lian and girl hua cheng just hot girls his way onto their throats#yeah im aroace but id want woman hua cheng to be my fictional gf. cool strong mysterious woman who can protect you#but is also a bit of a pathetic wet dog sometimes. why is hua cheng kinda boring to me but if you change his gender id love him 🤣#i dont get it. i think its funny. where was i going with this???? i was goijg to say something else and went off track and now i forgot#anyway im still waiting for someone to turn the last book (i think thats all thats left?) into am audiobook#the one i was listening to isnt finished. the person hasnt uploaded any for like 5 months. the only other ones ive found are not finished#or they are read by ai robot goofle translate sounding voice and i cannot stand that shit lmao#its impossible to listen to. why would anyone do that.#i just want to finish it. let me finish it!!!!! i dont have the brain power to read it myself so i meed to listen
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