sooo the teacher that i hate and kinda wished death upon every day for the past 6 months just suffered a horrible accident and had a traumatic brain injury….. im gonna be paying this karmic debt for my next 20 lives yall
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was it therefore foreshadowing for my life that in episode 3 of the Simpsons dad loses his job over his own ineptitude, mom is forced to get a fast food job to provide for the family, and dad's solution is to attempt suicide
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I have a lot of trouble feeling like I deserve things. I find that my brain engages in a lot of covert negative self talk, so while I don't talk to myself with insults I often say things like, “you're unemployed and not adding anything to this household so the least you can do is not ask for anything and cause more trouble”.
so that brings me to a small new years resolution: I'm going to ask my uncle for my guitar back.
some backstory. I've always wanted to learn guitar. I love music and I've always had some semblance of ease with instruments that my family just never really encouraged, so I never learned to play. but one day I decided, y'know what, I'm an adult and I can do whatever I want! so I bought a guitar and started teaching myself how to play. it was going really slowly but I was making some progress.
now, the guitar was used but in very great condition. a yamaha with steel strings, very pretty. her name was taylor because I'm cringe like that. my uncle, who plays guitar relatively decently, saw it once and really liked it.
flashforward to august of 2020 when I had some…mental health issues that landed me in the mexican equivalent of being grippy-socked. (it's a long story but basically my mom realized she couldn't have me committed without my consent while I was in the US so she drugged me and took me to mexico where she could.)
I know that's not really relevant to this story except for the fact that when I was committed I basically left my entire apartment and belongings unattended, including my guitar. so, taking advantage of the fact that I was not there, my uncle went into my apartment one day and “borrowed” my guitar. it has been two years. I think we're way past borrowed now.
and in the two years that he's had it I've always kind of wanted to ask for it back but that negative self talk would say, “bur you can't even play guitar. wouldn't it be better if someone who can actually play guitar had the guitar,” which was my brains sneaky way of saying, “you don't deserve the guitar because you're useless and are a net negative on the world” even though I bought it with my money and don't need to fucking deserve something I bought.
so even though I still feel this way, this 2023 I want to muster the courage to ask for it back. because I deserve to have things. even if I never played that guitar again in my life. what I don't deserve is having people step all over me and take advantage of my problems in order to steal my things just because they know I'll never have the self esteem to ask for them.
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For the OC ask, 37 for Vodrem?
ohohoho you have no idea how excited i am to answer one of these for vodrem, thank you SO much for the ask nonnie
oc ask meme!
37: Do people have justified grudges against your character?
ohhh yes. oh Absolutely they do. vodrem is a sadistic, endlessly power hungry bastard, who's known by many names across the multiverse, including but not limited to "the god eater," "the pretender," and "the world eater." while his primary mode of sustenance is deities and other beings of high energy and power, as well as entire universes themselves, he also takes great enjoyment in tormenting people for the hell of it---sometimes it's short-term, inconsequential things, and other times it's longterm things that can range from harmless/inconsequential to massively devastating. after a certain amount of time he usually stops hiding himself very well, so a LOT of people know who he is, which he seems to relish in. honestly, he seems to relish in making enemies in general LMAO
additionally, in my mh au specifically, he's tried a total of Two (soon to be three, he's become a yearly tradition<3) times to uh. entirely devour the universe. both times he was ultimately defeated and chased off, and in the second time his singular weakness was found (his energy being drained) and exploited to chase him off, but uh. Yeah. so! all of the five as well as a lot of my other mh ocs and a lot of the canon characters Really Fucking Hate Him! and a lot of other people too just hearing about him secondhand LMFAO
they won't appreciate what he's planning to do next☺ everything does need the sunlight to see, after all<3
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