#Our Flag Means Death fic

[ofmdjanuaury]

WELCOME TO HOLESTICE! It’s officially the 21st in Iceland, the country currently showing the hottest, wettest hole, so SHARE YOUR FAVORITE FILTHY SMUTS

[livelydiver]

more ofmd fic recs

Another hype post for some exquisite fics that have lately been living in my head rent-free. Top-shelf and mostly E-rated Gentlebeard modern AUs:

⬥ Mile High Club by @veeagainsttheday [E, 17K] -- You know that feeling where you start a fic and know right away it's going in your list of all time favorites? This is one of those, and I can't stop re-reading it. A heartwarming, instant-soulmates story where Ed and Stede meet as strangers trapped in an American airport after a diverted flight.

⬥ Take a Byte by @oatmilktruther [E, 4K] -- Ed as a top-of-his-game-but-bored-of-it-all hacker harboring a crush on the cute blonde FBI agent who monitors his computer. Adorably funny and hot.

⬥ Up in Smoke by @zombee [T, 4K] -- A charming first/blind date where, under the auspices of a Lucius-directed art project, veteran stoner Ed shows weed-virgin Stede how it's done.

⬥ A Stroke of Luck by wretched_wren [E, 5K] -- Another sweet and funny take on oblivious-Stede discovering new pleasures, this time after he unknowingly signs up himself and best friend Ed for an orgasmic meditation class.

⬥ Restructuring by @elapsed-spiral [E, 50K, WIP] -- Newly penniless Stede navigating life on his own while Ed, a wildly successful but depressed billionaire, falls for him helplessly. My current stop-whatever-I'm-doing-when-a-new-chapter-drops fave, funny and loveable with the bohemian found-family vibes of Phoebe Waller Bridge's Crashing.

⬥ not pickles by smallestchurch [eventually-E, 11K, WIP] -- Instant chemistry between single-and-thriving Ed and his new neighbor, flustered single-dad Stede. In the words of the author's note, "what if what Stede can learn from Ed isn't about a job, but about how to heal? What if Ed's a little farther down that road, as he struggles to figure out What Makes Ed Happy?" What indeed? Get your popcorn, looks like this is gonna be a lovely one.

And a bonus rec for this canon-setting gem:

⬥ All I Have to Pass the Time by sillyteehee [E, 38K] -- If like me you had somehow missed this fic 'til now, you're in for a treat. Set in an alternate canon where Ed's "act of grace" deal is 5 years in prison in exchange for Stede's freedom, this is the series of letters they exchange and all the horny, funny, self-actualizing joys therein.

🏴‍☠️❤️

[margaritaville]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Our Flag Means Death (TV) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Blackbeard | Edward Teach/Stede Bonnet Characters: Stede Bonnet, Blackbeard | Edward Teach Additional Tags: Daddy Kink, Rough Sex, Kink Exploration, Felching, Bottom Blackbeard | Edward Teach, Top Stede Bonnet, we all know why i wrote this Summary:

If he’s honest, Zaddy is just the sexy tip of the sexy iceberg. An iceberg shaped like a dick, or like… Ed doesn’t know, what else is sexy… Stede chopping a log with an axe. All sweaty (icebergs are wet) and bulging (icebergs… bulge out of the water) and red (maybe he’s losing the plot, here). All this to say, maybe he was joking at first, but it has become dire straits. He’s choking back words, he’s mumbling and stuttering and tripping over sentences. Stede has yet to say anything about it; maybe he thinks this is just a cute quirk of Ed’s that he had yet to notice. 

heaha..... heeyyy..... this is a fic i wrote 🩷 i love you 🩷 

[ofmdmatelotagezine]

🏴‍☠️🌈PREORDERS OPEN🌈🏴‍☠️

Preorders for our OFMD matelotage-themed zine are now open! We have 80+ pages of fantastic art and writing, for a variety of ships, from an amazing selection of contributors, as well as some wonderful merch!

Ships featured in the zine: Ed/Stede, Ed/Izzy, Stede/Izzy, Stede/Ed/Izzy, Lucius/Pete, Archie/Jim/Oluwand, Mary/Evelyn, Izzy/Spanish Jackie, Wee John/Frenchie, Izzy/Sam Bellamy

Our offerings are:

Zine: Physical Zine: $19 Digital Zine: $9 'Honeymoon Edition' NS//FW add-on (digital only): $7 Merch: Sticker sheets (2): $6 Enamel Pin: $12 Ship acrylic charm: $9 Wedding cake shaker charm: $15 Bundles: Merch Bundle: $29 Full Bundle: $49 Note: The physical zine (and its digital PDF) are entirely SFW, while the 'Honeymoon Edition' is entirely NS//FW and a separate add-on that must be purchased on its own and not included in any bundle. You must be 18+ to purchase it, and by purchasing this add-on, you agree that you are over 18 years of age.

Preorders will be open Dec 18 - Jan 28. All proceeds will be donated to Rainbow Railroad.

GET YOUR PIRATE MARRIAGE GOODS HERE

[raz-writes-the-thing]

Show Business (OFMD Drabble)

Stede Bonnet x GN!Reader / requests are open

Summary: Stede is teaching you a thing or two about piracy.

Fic type: fluff, semi-crack

OFMD: @catlynharper (send an ask to be added to a tag list!)

___ ___ ___ ___ ___

“It’s all in the wrist, see?” Stede says, demonstrating a rather dangerous-looking flick of the pistol in his hand. He’s teaching you about the flare of dramatics needed when engaging in piracy. 

Apparently, it’s mostly show business. You’re not too sure about how true that actually is, but Stede is your captain, and you’ve found it’s usually best to go along with whatever it is he has to say. It’s not like he’s a ruthless bastard, anyway, so there’s no harm in it if he wants to show you how to wave a gun around fancily. 

“The trick is to keep them looking where you want them to look,” Stede said conspiratorially. That much you agreed with. And it was true too, because with the way Stede was waving the gun about, it was hard to focus on anything else. 

Particularly when various parts of your body passed through the sights of the barrel every few seconds as Stede prattled on.

Then, Stede shot the gun straight up into the air, narrowly missing the mast of the ship. 

“Pay attention,” he barked, and for a split second, you could understand from the other side what it felt like to be raided. Then his face softened again into a grin. “See? All about the show of it.” 

You swallowed thickly, nodding. Sure, yeah, you were beginning to see the point he was making. 

“Right, so a bit like this, then?” You asked, getting a better grip on your own pistol and flicking it to the side haphazardly. Stede tapped the muzzle of his loaded gun against his lip and you sucked in a horrified breath. 

“Yes, like that- maybe try it one more time with a little more pizzaz, what do you reckon?” Stede replied, thankfully removing the gun away from the general vicinity of his face.

“Sure, if I don’t have a heart attack first,” you muttered to yourself. 

“Eh?” Stede asked innocently, positioning your hand where he wanted it for your next attempt. 

“Nothing,” you sighed.

[ipomoea-batatas]

OOPS I FINALLY PUBLISHED THE FIRST CHAPTER

[amuseoffyre]

Chapter/Episode 1 - Rebuilding

Ed and Stede adjust to being innkeepers and life beyond piracy, Zheng's hunt continues and Ricky has unexpected problems of his own.

[erosrevenge]

Movie I've Seen Before 🔗

An OFMD Blockbuster Inspired AU

[cannebady]

This is a horny and angsty steddyhands thought but like

What if Izzy starts realizing his mistake. Edward gets more and more reckless as time goes on. Becomes dangerously withdrawn and unpredictable, as much of a liability as Bonnet at his worst, and Izzy isn't an idiot. No amount of hero worship can mask the bile-tinged loneliness in Ed, the hole that lives in him now that rum and violence, and chaos, and even Izzy himself can't fill. So, with regret, he leaves Jim in charge and goes out to find Stede Fucking Bonnet himself because he has to atone, fix what he broke, or Izzy fears Edward will be lost to the ages before his time.

He finds Bonnet, along with his playthings, just off the coast of Nassau over a week after setting out. They somehow commandeered a small ship of their own, which even Izzy has to admit is impressive considering their lack of weapons and ability, and have been making their way towards The Revenge as fast as they could, stopping port to port to see if they can find word of their last known whereabouts. Bonnet shows him the logs, surprisingly well kept, and Izzy realizes that Bonnet would've caught up with them months ago had Ed's erratic moods and the bounty on his head not led them on a ludicrous goose chase across the ocean. For the first time he wonders if there might be more to Stede Bonnet than he initially thought. It certainly wouldn't be the first thing Izzy was wrong about.

They go to Stede's quarters and he offers Izzy a drink. It isn't served in the china that formerly occupied the Captain's quarters on The Revenge, but it's nicer than any pirate, hell any sailor, should have aboard a vessel, but the brandy is good so who's he to complain? He's about to try and figure out why Bonnet fucked off instead of coming back with Edward, and attempt to do so while not shooting daggers at the entitled shit that got Edward's love and tossed it away like nothing, like it wasn't the only thing Izzy's ever wanted for himself. Anyway, he doesn't have to because Bonnet just starts talking, Izzy should've figured he would, and somehow he pours out his heart to Izzy about his kiss with Ed (damn him), the plan to run away together (fucking Edward and his fucking plans), the twat from the British Navy, and the spectacularly bad bout of decision making followed by some fuckery that Ed will absolutely love hearing about once he's stopped being furious. Which he will be, but at this point with Bonnet or himself, or both is up to the fates and Ed's temper. But Bonnet is sincere if nothing else, and he gave away all of his wealth which Izzy thinks is very stupid but Ed will think is romantic, so he'll probably forgive the ponce and then they'll live happily ever after and Izzy can fade into obscurity. Try as he might to disagree, it was always going to end that way.

Fine. It's fucking fine.

Over the next several weeks, Izzy realizes that Stede has gained some decent skills, perhaps not as a pirate but as a solid enough sailor. He doesn't like admitting it and he still thinks he's mostly useless, but he is functionally less useless than he used to be which is probably the reason they didn't all die before Izzy found them. Reluctantly, he starts to view Stede as a partner in his mission rather than a mark.

Then Stede asks him to have dinner in his quarters or help him chart their course and, surprising himself above all, he agrees easily. It turns out that they can even work well together if Izzy can put the fact that he hates him out of his mind. It's getting easier to do with time. So easy, in fact, that Izzy's doing it most of the time without conscious thought.

It's the lack of conscious though, Izzy thinks, that leads to some of his worst ever decision making and that really is saying something.

There's rum involved, of course, but there's also gin and Izzy will never admit it but gin is the spirit that makes him loose and lascivious. It has him thinking that Stede's not the worst conversationalist. Thinking that he's actually a fucking blast once they're both deep in their cups. He's a natural story teller with a dry, downright bitchy, sense of humor and Izzy's loose and feeling cautiously optimistic that he can fix Edward, and then the topic of Edward comes up and Izzy doesn't have the forethought to school his expression and Stede wouldn't think to.

"So you kissed him?" Izzy asks, ignoring slurring that definitely did not happen.

"I did. It was wonderful." Stede replies, eyes closed and smiling like it's his best memory. It probably is.

"Lucky bastard. I never got the chance. Wasn't like that with us." Izzy replies. It's not even snarky if he's honest. Maybe just a touch lovelorn.

"S'ridiculous! You've, well, you must have?" Stede slurs.

"Must've what?" From far away Izzy hears a pounding and it takes him a moment to realize it's his heart.

"Been together?" Stede replies and looks him dead in the eye.

Ah. So Stede isn't totally oblivious.

"Nothin' as poncey as 'being together'. We fucked plenty but I'd have remembered kissing him." Izzy's being awful fucking honest.

But he's also looking at Stede. Looking at the way his cheeks redden and heat at even the concept of Ed and Fucking in the same sentence. It's sweet. There's a long-dormant part of Izzy, one that went into hibernation when he met Ed at the tender age of nineteen, that wants to claim that expression for himself. Wants to be the one who caused it.

It's the tail end of that thought that makes him ask a woefully fucking stupid question that catalyzes the whole damn string of bullshit events that follow.

First he asks, "So, have you ever fucked a man?" to which Stede chokes and blushes further, effectively answering the question.

Izzy's sitting up and in Stede's face faster than his gin-addled body should be able to move.

His hand grips the collar of Stede's simple linen shirt, much without his permission, and his mouth takes the cue to say, "Do you want to?"

And then it's a flurry of movement, of Izzy straddling Stede's lap, both fumbling their breeches open, and finally hiding his head in the crook of Stede's neck while he strokes them off together.

Stede's moaning like he's getting paid for it and that gets Izzy hot like nothing else, and he's biting bruises into the tender flesh of Stede's neck and fuck this isn't going to last long at all.

He knows that Stede is fucking him as a replacement for Ed. He may well be fucking Stede just to get under Ed's skin, just to say he got there first, tasted the forbidden fruit and sullied it before Ed ever got the chance.

A bigger part of him thinks that he's trying to get as close to what Ed loves as possible. It's the closest he'll ever come to having that love for himself.

Either way, Stede is hurtling towards his finish, throbbing and thick and blood hot in Izzy's hand.

"Go on, come for me like you want to come for him," Izzy growls and Stede whines and comes almost on command.

Fuck. Fuck, that's fucking hot. Izzy follows moments later, silent as he always is, but biting into Stede's shoulder. It's only now that he realizes that Stede had one hand on his back and the other in his hair. It's more intimate than he's prepared for.

They don't speak about it. They disentangle, get dressed, and go their separate ways for the night without speaking another word.

They don't talk about it the next day, or the day after that, or even after it happens again a couple of days later.

They don't talk about the fact that they're trying to fuck Ed through each other and Izzy definitely doesn't talk about the fact that he's started to want Stede in his own right.

He wants to kiss him and feel what Ed did. He wants to claim him for himself. He wants both and nothing and everything all at once.

They don't talk about it when it keeps happening, so often that crew is catching on. They don't even talk about it during, with Izzy resolutely keeping his face turned into Stede's neck or chest or anywhere that he won't see what's happening. Wanting things for himself has never been part of Izzy's game but fuck does he want this and he can't have it, no matter what.

It's fine. Fuck, even if it isn't, it's fine.

It's the beginning of the end. Stede's got him pressed against a wall, rutting against each other with abandon, when it all falls apart. Izzy was desperate and made the mistake of making eye contact with Stede in the galley. They didn't even make it back to Stede's quarters before they were pressed together for all they're worth.

Something feels different, but he can't parse it out through the feeling of Stede's hand stroking him off, or the feel of Stede's arse in his palms, or the fact that Stede's cock is pressed so tightly against him, still trapped in linen, that he can feel it like a brand on his hip. It feels fucking right and Izzy wants more.

Suddenly, Stede's speaking and it's a shocking enough deviation from the norm that Izzy can't even process the words for what they are for a moment.

"Izzy, Israel, please let me," he's repeating into Izzy's ear.

His name. Stede said his name. He's been laboring under the assumption that Stede is picturing Ed during their trysts. No matter if Izzy had stopped doing that after the first go around. No matter that Izzy sometimes got himself off to the fantasy of Stede telling him he wanted him just as he is.

To have it happen? Izzy's unprepared. He's also unprepared for having to rebuff someone who has their hand nestled so sweetly against his cock that it almost hurts from the pleasure. Because he can't have Stede. Ed already staked his claim and this whole fucking plan was for him to fix Ed, not fuck the love of his life. Not steal him away, even if that's what Izzy wants to do because he's a pirate and he's not used to not taking what he wants. He is used to sacrificing for Ed, though, so he'll do it, even if it kills him.

"Can't," he grunts, "We can't. Ed-" he can't continue because Stede started kissing up his neck, following the lines of the swallow tattoo, and he's moving up, closer and closer to his jaw and fuck what he'd give for a kiss, a real one.

He won't be strong enough to call it off after that.

He uses the rest of his strength to grab Stede's biceps (and good fuck did all that rowing do wonders, fuck, fuck, fuck) and push him back. His hair is wild from Izzy's hands and he looks desperate and fuck is it a good look.

"You're Ed's, I can't." Izzy grits out.

"But I want," Stede starts and goes to angle for Izzy's mouth and fuck this is going to fucking kill him.

"Save it for Ed, yeah? I'm a poor substitute." He replies and shuffles out from between Stede and the wall.

He doesn't look back. He can't see the look of agreement and understanding on his face. It's one act of self preservation in a maelstrom of sacrifice. He won't acknowledge the tears that want to fall or the rage at how unfair it is that he'd fall in something with two people who wanted each other and not him.

If he had looked back, he would've seen a look of pure heartbreak on Stede's face.

Instead, they both go to their separate chambers and wonder how they're going to work this out.

On the horizon, a familiar flag comes into view.

[yergink]

Hi, hello!! I wrote a very silly fic about Ed getting trapped on his fishing boat with a spider (the spider is a metaphor). Consider checking it out <3

2.7 words, rated T

“Fucking—shit!” Ed yells, flinching away from the little monster with enough force that he nearly capsizes the rickety old rowboat.

Water splashes, the dinghy’s nose flies into the air, and Ed hastily grabs the gunwale and lurches his weight forward to keep the damn thing upright. By the time he’s done that and the boat’s settled back to calm, he’s lost track of the fucking spider.

[gay-baby-brig]

When you lose your beta reader on the exact chapter you need them for...because you never actually watched the last episode of the series firsthand 😭😭😭😭😭😭

[margaritaville]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Our Flag Means Death (TV) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Blackbeard | Edward Teach/Stede Bonnet Characters: Blackbeard | Edward Teach, Stede Bonnet Additional Tags: Doctor Roleplay, Exhibitionism, Trans Blackbeard | Edward Teach, Anal Fingering, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Soft Dom Stede Bonnet Summary:

Ed stares down at his hands wrapped around the edge of the examination table, a spider and a snake smiling up at him, and ponders how he got here.

Completely objectively, Stede is a little fucked up about sex. Ed loves him, would never judge him for any of his ideas. Even if some of them are a little silly at times. And, fuck, Ed is fucked up about sex. He doesn’t know how to level his past with his current attitudes when it comes to sex. Wanting to get hurt, wanting to be hurt. He’s never figured out how to rationalize it. Especially when it comes to sex with Stede, who should by all accounts be soft and gentle in their bedroom. Stede, who is a little fucked up about sex. 

we did it guys!!! fucked up doctor stede written and posted!! please god be gentle with me lmao.

[downstarr]

Versus, an OFMD Spy AU - COMPLETE!

40k and some months later, my homage to action-romance spy thrillers is complete!

Versus (40453 words) by downstar Chapters: 15/15 Fandom: Our Flag Means Death (TV) Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Blackbeard | Edward Teach/Stede Bonnet, Blackbeard | Edward Teach & Israel Hands Characters: Blackbeard | Edward Teach, Stede Bonnet, Israel Hands, Ching Shih | Zheng Yi Sao, Chauncey Badminton, Nigel Badminton, Declan Finch Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Spy - Freeform, Alternate Universe - James Bond Fusion, Alternate Universe - Our Flag Means Death Fusion, Enemies to Lovers, Spy thriller, Action/Adventure, Action & Romance, Gun Violence, Blood and Violence, spy vs spy - Freeform, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Action, Intrigue, Espionage, Jealous Blackbeard | Edward Teach, Seduction, Jealous Stede Bonnet, Trust Issues, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Sharing a Bed, Slow Burn, spy gear, Disguise, Travel, World Travel, Trains, On the Run, Mystery, BAMF Stede Bonnet, BAMF Blackbeard | Edward Teach, Falling In Love, Blackbeard | Edward Teach Loves Stede Bonnet, Stede Bonnet Loves Blackbeard | Edward Teach, Competent Stede Bonnet Series: Part 7 of Gentlebeard Modern AUs Summary: Edward Teach, codename Blackbeard works for an intelligence and assasination agency for-hire. He's sent to kill the socialite Stede Bonnet after seducing him, but discovers that the man is much more than he appears to be. He's actually an MI6 agent, codename Gentleman, hiding in plain sight. Things quickly go off the rails when an attempt on both of their lives leaves them wondering who they can trust. As they become an unlikely duo, they are forced to reckon with the chemistry between them - and how that complicates their adversarial relationship. --- This fic follows in the grand tradition of James Bond, Salt, Mr. and Mrs. Smith, The Long Kiss Goodnight and Lucky Number Slevin. Featuring action in the tradition of spy thrillers, with a healthy dose of queer romance and an enemies-to-lovers arc.

[thetardigrape]

Irredeemable Bastards

Chapters: 1/9 Fandom: Our Flag Means Death (TV) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Israel Hands/Lucius Spriggs Characters: Israel Hands, Lucius Spriggs, Samuel "Black Sam" Bellamy, Original Characters Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Heist, Rivals to Lovers, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Sharing Clothes, Pining while fucking, Pickpocket Lucius, Tech Wizard Izzy, Slow Burn, alternating pov Art: @thatskindarough Summary:

At court-ordered community service, Lucius meets Izzy, a hot older guy on a motorcycle. They hit it off pretty well, even if Izzy refuses to give Lucius his number.

But when Lucius runs into Izzy again while he's casing the site of his next big job, alarm bells ring. What if Izzy figures out what Lucius is doing? What if he leads the cops to him?

Or what if he's there doing the exact same thing?

For the OFMD Reverse Big Bang 2023

[cuddlytogas]

OFMD Big Bang 2023: I Just Need Some Air

that's right baybeyyy guess who did another big bang and managed to bag my cool friend doing the art <33

Title: I Just Need Some Air

Author: hoc_voluerunt / cuddlytogas

Artist: @tsunderejon / wellsussed

Beta reader: reneeissanc3

Characters: Stede Bonnet, Blackbeard | Edward Teach, The Crew of the Revenge, Lucius Spriggs, Roach, Israel Hands, Wee John Feeney, Jim Jimenez, Oluwande Boodhari

Relationship(s): Blackbeard | Edward Teach/Stede Bonnet, Stede Bonnet & Crew of the Revenge, background Black Pete/Lucius Spriggs

Rating: T

Additional Tags: AU - Modern Setting, AU - Australia, Naarm/Melbourne, Social Anxiety, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, The Crew of the Revenge Loves Stede Bonnet, Crew of the Revenge as Family, Neurodivergent Stede Bonnet, Getting Together, Stede Bonnet Has Self-Esteem Issues, First Kiss, Bad Parent Stede Bonnet

Warnings: anxiety, panic attacks

Summary:

Stede Bonnet's been having panic attacks for almost as long as he can remember, suffocated by pressure and expectation. For years, he and Mary had an understanding, necessary for every stuffy networking party and corporate gala: I just need some air. And Stede would find the nearest exit, while Mary distracted the Badmintons before they could figure out where he'd gone. When Stede finally takes his life back — divorces Mary, moves to Melbourne, starts his own event management business — things get better, but he's still no good at parties. He still needs some air, even at the very events he's brought to fruition.

Meanwhile, Edward Teach, renowned chef and owner of Blackbeard's Catering, is wondering why the newest bigwig in events still hasn't hired him.

Modern AU set in Naarm/Melbourne, Australia; a family found and a romance grown in the alleyways behind galleries and function rooms.

Wordcount: 25,874

Link to art: https://twitter.com/wellsussed/status/1729256166830797143

Link to story: https://archiveofourown.org/works/51737674

[amuseoffyre]

Things get said :)