#Or clean the bathroom

[tswwwit]

Much has been made of those old grand gestures of romance. To die for someone. To kill for someone. To hand over your whole heart, to ruin your life, to pluck the stars from the sky and place them in your lover's palm.

But when you're working with characters who actually can easily kill and die and be thrown into Big Dramatic Moments at the drop of a hat, it's much much funnier (and apt) to go in the other direction. They would do the unthinkable. The impossible! The only thing that could further soil their blood-soaked hands!

They would... do the dishes for them.

[wanologic]

and they were roommates

[zillychu]

get MOLTED, idiot

[reptilia2003]

i really think some of you are just lazy…like omg what do you mean I have to do the dishes again I just did them yesterday?!?

[defilerwyrm]

Parents, for the love of everything that ever pretended to be holy, do not make household cleaning a punishment for your children.

My parents did that. As an adult, I would rather stare at a blank wall for five hours straight than wash dishes. I would rather do math problems without a calculator and have my answers read aloud in public than clean a bathroom. If my hatred of cleaning was a capturable energy it could power interstellar travel. All because, growing up, cleaning house was a primary form of punishment.

Don’t fuckin’ do that. You’re not instilling discipline. You’re instilling hatred for something they need to be able to do as adults without hating every microsecond of it.

[hajihiko]

it's watermelon 🍉

[ryan-waddell11]

MOOD

[lesbiandarvey]

okay here’s my advice for you for january2024. get a daily planner and use it to scrapbook!!!! use it to keep track of movies you just watched, music you’re listening to, put pictures of your favorite characters in it, get fun stickers to put in it its so fun! and when its fun its fun youre 100x times more likely to use it as an actual planner! i dont know why no one ever told me this but because it FUN now im using my daily planner to keep track of bills, keep track of my habits, im tracking my workouts with it… i have never been able to use a daily planner for longer than 2 weeks before but now i can cus its FUN

[shushmal]

Steve is loose-limbed and warm, and bone-meltingly satisfied as he slides under the sheets. Clean sheets. Nothing feels better than clean sheets. Clean sheets and his boyfriend, who Steve gets to curl up behind and bury his face into the center of his back. Eddie makes a sound, a happy little hum, and slides his hand along Steve’s arm where it’s wrapped around Eddie’s waist. Laces their fingers together and squeezes.

Bliss.

Until, probably only five minutes later when Steve is just falling asleep, and Eddie jolts upright with a shriek.

“What—?”

“Oh my god,” Eddie wails, and holds the side of his head. “Steve! Oh fuck, Steve!”

“What?” Steve asks, shocked into alertness, heart going from sleepy slow and hammering hard in his chest when Eddie whimpers. “What, what is it?!”

“There’s a bug in my ear!”

Steve, in the process of throwing the blankets off of them, of planning the quickest way to get Eddie down the stairs and out of the house, of mapping the drive to Hopper’s before whatever is happening for the sixth fucking time happens AGAIN—Steve, in the middle of all that, freezes.

“Huh?”

“I felt it! I felt something tickling my ear!”

“Ed,” Steve says slowly. “You have… so much damn hair.”

“It wasn’t hair!” Eddie shrieks.

“Okay, even if it wasn’t,” Steve tries to reason. “It still probably didn’t crawl into your ear.”

“No, I definitely saw a bug while you were in the bathroom, Steve! It was a weird bug!! Oh my god, what if it burrows into my skull! What if it lays worms in my brain?”

“Eddie, baby—”

Eddie looks at him, and there’s honest to god tears in his eyes. “You’re going to dump me because of my brain worms aren’t you?”

And Steve doesn’t stand a chance, and snorts with laughter.

“Stevie!” Eddie wails. “I have brain worms and you’re laughing?! Oh my god!”

“You’re such a dork!” Steve wheezes. He rolls out of the bed and drags Eddie towards the bathroom. “You don’t have brain worms.”

Eddie, still whimpering, obediently hops onto the sink, tilting his head and letting Steve pull his hair to the side, flashlight in hand. “But you would still love me if I did, right?”

“Of course, idiot.” Steve presses a quick kiss to Eddie’s cheek. “Now, hold still, I’m doing worm surgery.”

[theereina]

This is the level of organized I want to be.

[ahappydnp]

you ever have those specific moments/clips where you're reminded dnp are just some dudes bc this is mine

me (only child) back in the day seeing them (both grew up with brothers) rough house all the time and being like D:

[smallishbabes]

I love Joel playing up the angry British man during the whole Permitmaster thing. Loved his chicken film and dealing with the melons and his death message kerfuffle just like all of him. Mans always exasperated that’s my hermit lol

[lost-in-fandoms]

what about Daniel and Max never being big on pet names, especially Daniel only using pet names in a joke-y way. But then he starts noticing that Max does use pet names, just not with him? He will call the cats sweet things in both english and dutch, he calls his nephews liefje and he has heard him call his gaming buddies "darling" more than once. Max also talks to himself and to inanimate objects a lot, and one day he hears him say "thanks babe" to the fridge after getting a beer.

And it's not like he's jealous or something, he doesn't care, but it still makes him feel a bit weird. And yeah, maybe he's a little bit jealous, because that's not really fair, is it? But it feels embarrassing to tell that to Max, they're not that kind of cutesy couple, so he stews on it and gets a little bit more annoyed every time it happens.

Max notices that he's acting a bit weird, but he doesn't remember doing anything wrong or any kind of fight, so he assumes it's something Daniel related and not Max-and-Daniel related. He cuddles a little closer at night and does ask once if anything was wrong, but Daniel tells him nothing so he leaves it alone.

And then one night, after Max is done gaming he goes to the couch where Daniel is very clearly angry and is like uuuh did something happen? And Daniel tells him "no, nothing, just my boyfriend liking me less than anything else in his life" because he's hurt and embarrassed and annoyed and he knows he's not being fair, but at the moment he doesn't care. Max is hurt, because how could Daniel even say that? They weren't even fighting that he knew of! Daniel hadn't been ignoring him or slamming doors or calling names, so how could he know he was mad at him? It's all really unfair, so obviously he gets immediately defensive and somehow it degenerates in a fight that doesn't make sense because Max doesn't know why they're fighting and Daniel is embarrassed and increasingly angry at himself.

At some point Max just grabs his keys and phone and leaves to cool off and Daniel feels super bad, knowing it was all his fault and he should have just said something instead of blowing it all out of proportions. When Max comes back Daniel is already in bed but he's awake and Max asks him if he wants him to sleep on the couch and Daniel is horrified because first of all, no, and second of all it's a sign Max thinks he has been doing something wrong and should be sent to the couch even if he doesn't know why. Finally, that's enough and he just blurts out "it's because you never call me darling".

And Max is like ??????? because he wasn't aware Daniel wanted to and also all this for that???? so he sits down and tells Daniel to explain and Daniel explains. He's looking down at his hands and keeps picking at his fingers until Max stops him and he hates how embarrassed he is the whole time, but he explains and it feels extra silly after putting it all out there.

When he's done, Max tells him he was being very silly and he will of course call him anything he wants, he just likes calling him Daniel because Daniel is already a word that has all the love in it and Daniel maybe sort of dies there.

And then they kiss and Max calls him schatje and Daniel for sure must be dead.

Max still doesn't love being called pet names, but uses all the ones he knows for Daniel and Daniel loves it every time until Max moans baby during sex and Daniel comes on the spot. He's still very embarrassed about that one.

[365filmsbyauroranocte]

Trust (Hal Hartley, 1990)

[qiu-yan]

wei wuxian is the sort of guy who is incredibly lactose intolerant yet also insists on buying a tub of ice cream every time he goes grocery shopping

[bitronic]

his phone doesnt have a screen