#my ear canal IS squeaky clean now

[shushmal]

Steve is loose-limbed and warm, and bone-meltingly satisfied as he slides under the sheets. Clean sheets. Nothing feels better than clean sheets. Clean sheets and his boyfriend, who Steve gets to curl up behind and bury his face into the center of his back. Eddie makes a sound, a happy little hum, and slides his hand along Steve’s arm where it’s wrapped around Eddie’s waist. Laces their fingers together and squeezes.

Bliss.

Until, probably only five minutes later when Steve is just falling asleep, and Eddie jolts upright with a shriek.

“What—?”

“Oh my god,” Eddie wails, and holds the side of his head. “Steve! Oh fuck, Steve!”

“What?” Steve asks, shocked into alertness, heart going from sleepy slow and hammering hard in his chest when Eddie whimpers. “What, what is it?!”

“There’s a bug in my ear!”

Steve, in the process of throwing the blankets off of them, of planning the quickest way to get Eddie down the stairs and out of the house, of mapping the drive to Hopper’s before whatever is happening for the sixth fucking time happens AGAIN—Steve, in the middle of all that, freezes.

“Huh?”

“I felt it! I felt something tickling my ear!”

“Ed,” Steve says slowly. “You have… so much damn hair.”

“It wasn’t hair!” Eddie shrieks.

“Okay, even if it wasn’t,” Steve tries to reason. “It still probably didn’t crawl into your ear.”

“No, I definitely saw a bug while you were in the bathroom, Steve! It was a weird bug!! Oh my god, what if it burrows into my skull! What if it lays worms in my brain?”

“Eddie, baby—”

Eddie looks at him, and there’s honest to god tears in his eyes. “You’re going to dump me because of my brain worms aren’t you?”

And Steve doesn’t stand a chance, and snorts with laughter.

“Stevie!” Eddie wails. “I have brain worms and you’re laughing?! Oh my god!”

“You’re such a dork!” Steve wheezes. He rolls out of the bed and drags Eddie towards the bathroom. “You don’t have brain worms.”

Eddie, still whimpering, obediently hops onto the sink, tilting his head and letting Steve pull his hair to the side, flashlight in hand. “But you would still love me if I did, right?”

“Of course, idiot.” Steve presses a quick kiss to Eddie’s cheek. “Now, hold still, I’m doing worm surgery.”