#Open Locked Safe

[24hrlocksmithshouston]

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[capyfan]

leshy: don't touch my stuff

challenger: touches stuff

leshy:

based on this lol

[tinfoil-jones]

Tate Pines AU: Teach 'Em Young

Stan: I'm really sorry about this Ford, but Tate got into one of your safes.

Ford: I must have accidentally left one open.

Stan: No, you didn't.

Ford: How else would he-.

Stan: He broke into it.

Ford: You're trying to tell me Tatum broke into my maximum security safe that has three contingency locks, two-factor authentication, and a protective charm?

Stan: Yes.

Ford: Stanley, he's 5 years old.

Stan: So? He was only 18 months old the first time he cracked a safe.

[chloecherrysip]

"C'mon, Luigi! Pump those legs!"

"I'm trying, I'm trying. I got bad knees!"

[dogrocks]

my shit ass cat turned on the stove so now i have to sit outside for an hour

[defensive-tactics]

Never prop your hotel door open. You never know who might come in your room.

[esxvspy]

Noah is treading on such thin ice rn with the duffers but he gives zero fucks and I’m living for it tbh,

Real photo of the duffers before and after Noah just told everyone he had 3 scripts for season 5 LMAOOO

[stealchain]

hes mad bc hes baby proofed from going in the cabinets

[baeshijima]

i fucking hate this gane

throws up tears

[artemisbarnowl]

Every woman should be given a button when she's born and if she presses it her dad explodes. No exceptions.

[dykestache]

my gf said i look very mustache mommy in these

[magnusmodig]

||. thor misunderstanding earthen housing norms in the modern day is SO funny to me to think about. He's doing his best, but between being from another planet with far more advanced technology (and much more "archaic" culture customs) on top of also being a PRINCE, I would imagine some normal practices and understandings of things simply don't click with him more than others.... Not because he's not smart. Thor is incredibly intelligent. ONLY because of the huge culture divide. But... that said: the concept of having neighbors who own their own land right next to yours, but the plots of land are TINY ??? absolutely crazy to him. Why aren't the plots of land BIGGER? why don't more people utilize it to farm crops???

Also don't get him STARTED on the idea - or nature of - apartments.

[byanyan]

while a lot of people find enclosed, confined spaces claustrophobic, byan actually finds they feel very safe and comforted in such places. maybe not for extended periods of time or anything, but when it comes to sleeping or taking a bit of time to calm down? they're perfect. especially on those days where they're experiencing hypervigilance, when there's something relieving about knowing that there's no one else with them and knowing that there's only one point of entry — if someone's going to attack them, they know where it'll be coming from.

it's not all that uncommon to find them napping in closets or, to a lesser extent, under beds, or even inside large cupboards if there's enough space. it's been a habit since they were a child, although they couldn't tell you exactly when it started.

[im-a-goat-in-disguise]

Just saw a video from a town where it's legally required that a head of house must own a gun, and it walked through the house of a guy with guns at the front door, in a secret compartment in the living room, and in a safe upstairs.

That's potentially the worst set of guns you could have.

[asyipyip]

hold on everyone shut up im getting super emotional about jonathan sims

[wormsdyke]

i’ve been trying to figure out how to phrase this for a long time but i think the way i’d describe my gender depends a lot on how chill i am with the person who’s asking and the levels go something like this

1. if i am very chill with them, frequently including other queer genderfuck people

nunya

(mafia voice) faghettaboutit

huh? wuh?

nah

2. if i’m so-so with the person or just don’t really want to talk about it

(softly) don’t dot jpeg

look over there! <- distraction while i run away

who’s asking 🤨

3. if i’m really not messing with the person, they’re being weird about it, or i’m in a particularly bad mood

with all due respect fuck off who the fuck do you think you are asking me something like that. might as well ask me for my social security number while you’re at it. don’t fucking touch me. motherfucker

what are you, a cop?

curb stomp