#Only one of my other IRL friend | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

aesopsbaby · 6 months ago

Text

The overwhelming urge to throw up and lock myself in my room because of tomorrow. I do not want the talk with HR tomorrow. I'm going to lose my job, and my grades that DEPEND on this job is going to cause me to fail

Fuck, why is this happening to me. I don't want this, I just want everything to go back to normal. I liked this job, I was doing well, my grades was fine.

Why the fuck did they suddenly say that I'm no longer fit for this?? I can't fuckkk I can't do this. I don't know how I'm going to go through tomorrow.

#I actually am not okay rn #Fml #I hate this sm #I feel so sick #I just want everything to be normal again #I'll delete all these soon once I feel better #Just have to get this off my chest cause I have no one else I can talk to about it #Only one of my other IRL friend #and shes trying her best to comfort me but she can't help me in other ways #And I feel so fucking bad to be a burden for her #I cant take this anymore

12 notes · View notes

bunnihearted · 2 months ago

Text

being too weird and unlikable and off putting and always being shunned and turned into an outcast everywhere i go and not having felt the connection and healing friendship has on you for so many years has really done a number on me

#irl mostly. but even online. i cannot connect or find communities or support systems the way most of u can #even if i do have found great connections and one connection in particular im more than grateful for #but i have had so much of my humanness torn off for so long that i am awkward and useless in handling it #but yeah idk :/ im just so profoundly jealous of how everyone can just fit into a slot #even online when ppl talk abt being anxious and stuff they still have ppl to talk to #or ppl irl to hang out with and im like.. wow... i cant even do that :/#it is just so lonely in general. and it has made me confused and incapable of knowing how to be a human #and fully realise and actualize the one connection i do have #if i had gotten to learn and now know how to be a human and a person i would've... been a person #but now i feel so removed and far away from that idek how...#like im at a point where i cant even have simple and shallow conversations online bc im like so useless #maybe only other ppl with avpd and who have been socially rejected and isolated and alienated can fully understand what i mean #it is so scary and weird and i feel such deep envy for how people can just like... talk to eo. irl and online. i dont get it #and like the connection i do have that i mention bc it is so important to me.. that does all of those things #but it is like im so not used to anyone even keep wanting to have a connection with me #that i feel like bambi on ice 💀 for lack of a better metaphor #and inside of me idk how to dare to open up to it bc i've been numb and shut off i just dont know #i dont know. but i want to but idk how.#ahhhhhh wanna scream bc just trying to describe it so i can make sense of it is frustrating!!!!#it also sucks bc other ppl really dont seem to get how fkn weird and scary it is to feel so removed from humanness #and not even be able to do most basic human people things most ppl who are mentally ill or anxious do.. i cant even do that idk #talking and communicating is the main thing like ppl do not understand how fkn hard it is for me to even have a simple convo #and i cant explain it bc theres no way someone who doesnt feel the same and have avpd could get it...#but idk. i just hate all of this and i wish i had a normal functioning brain. i just wanna be like everyone else #even ppl w social anxiety are capable of having friends. and im terrified of losing the only connection i've somehow been lucky to get #in my hands??? im so scared of losing that but idk HOW to be a person and idk!!! idk!!#other ppl dont even think abt these things im so fkn jealous lmao #anyway whatever 😔

34 notes · View notes

punkeropercyjackson · 6 months ago

Text

Most trans.phobic cis bisexual your side of existense:I just wanna really gay it up in a bisexual straight passing relathionship,y'know?Just me and my cis and genderconforming too boo🥰I love bi4bi m/f ships headcanons,don't really consider any other ones tbh!!

32 notes · View notes

aziraphales-lawyer · 4 months ago

Text

Literally no other way I could describe it right now.

#there are some serious feelings attached to all thats happening #im saddened. im mad. at the end of the day this is how i cope so im sorry if you dont feel like humor is your way out #im disappointed and digusted #personally #neil gaiman #is innocent until proven guilty and my heart goes out to the victims of this whole situation.#i know. i KNOW the right is gonna make it about trans rights and the left is gonna make this about zionism and how these results are #unsurprising due to him being 'either' of these (which im not going into)#because its NOT about those. its the disgusting behaviors he did w those women. consent or not he actively sought out rlly young women.#i hold out a tiny bit of hope but if all things go to shit I dont rlly have anything to fall back on in terms of fandom.#good omens got me through shit. it got me through hell and some my worst times ever.#ive made irreplaceable IRL friends #idk #just some feelings im putting out here. im still gonna 100% support all GO creators (unless they outright excuse NG's actions esp when hes #not yet proven innocent)#but yeah #i havent spoken about this in my other accs and I think this is the only coherent thought I can manage from all of that.#again. really upset. but we got this. were all in this together yk? theres no one side or another to SA but to support the victims.#thats all im rlly gonna say. just remember that Im sending uou guys lots of love. lets get through this <3 #[EDIT: I MEANT TO SAY NEIL IS GUILTY UNTIL PROVEN INNOCENT FOR ME !!!!]

17 notes · View notes

carpisuns · 1 year ago

Text

gaining a new interest/joining a new fandom is always kind of intimidating it feels like there’s so much you’ve missed out on by not enjoying this thing before so you’re like GRAHHHH got to catch up so I can have peak enjoyment like all the Enjoying This Thing experts around here! which is so silly bc if you enjoy a thing you’re already there but. yknow

#like when I got into hockey I was like studying all the rules and terms and players and team history and stuff #so I could be able to talk with other fans and understand everything #and like when I got into ml and owl house it was like ooh gotta binge watch all the eps #gotta see what the fandom vibes are and read the good kush fics and find a group of friends to brainrot with #and now w zelda it’s like #woof #there are so many games spanning decades!!! and I only have a switch so I can’t even play most of them lol #and the lore is fascinating but sometimes convoluted and confusing lol #bro the timeline. help #it’s just a lot of info and stuff to consume djdjdk #and im brainrotting so hard so part of me wants to find a loz discord server or soemthing l #but I feel like i would not be able to be on equal footing discussion wise bc I have only played a few of the games #it’s cool tho i have one irl friend who’s very excited abt me getting into her fav series haha #and I’m enjoying seeing people’s art and stuff #and making my little doodles #ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ <- me having a good little time being bad at gaming and obsessed with a tragic blond boy yet AGAIN #mine

97 notes · View notes

jrueships · 6 days ago

Note

A HEAARRRRT IS A HOUSE FOR LOOVE AND IVE LEARRNNED THAT IT DONT TAKE MUCH TO BREAK A HEAARTT

sorry I just had to get that out lol I love that damn movie. That film, the temptations film (Paul and Cornbread my loves) and the little richard biopic will always have Leon as one of my fav actors idc idcccc also it took me way too long to find out the five heartbeats weren't a real group 🤣

IS A HOUSE ! FOR LOVE !

And I've LEARNED ( ive leaarnnned!!) 🗣‼️‼️

NO NO, DONT SAY SRRY FOR HAVING GOOD TASTE. NEVER BE SRRY FOR HAVING GOOD TASTE !!!!

ALL ur takes are MWAH. Just MWAH.

PAUL AND CORNBREAD LOL!! THE LOVES!. OUR BEAUTIFUL LOVES!!!. UGH. UGH. IM SO OBSESSED WITH THESE MOVIES. BOTH!! OF THESE GROUPS ARE REAL AS LONG AS U BELIEVE!!!

& i know dresser ran to that limo once he heard Eddie begging for his job back (our poor softie gentleman baritone baby..) but i think somebody should be jt's moral compass bcs duck is just 😭 sick of him

Leon deserved SO MANY MORE major movie roles just by being beautiful and bitchy like . His 50 cent movie cameo was so fucking funny.. TY FOR SAYING THIS. GENUINELY. I AM SO GLAD SOMEONE ELSE LOVES THESE MOVIES TOO. The characters are hilarious and tragic and I am. Infatuated with them all. They all have their lil moments to solidify them as real or to reflect them being real and it's just. Mwah.

Eddie almost at rock bttm begging for his job back bcs he loves music. He Loves. Music. But he has trauma so much trauma but he's Trying. He's trying so hard and then he opens his coat to reveal he still has their old performance uniform but makes a funny noise:

JT:

#robert townsend just like me fr. obsessed with this diva leon #he was like ok hes playing this prettyboy role Too well.. LITTLE RICHARD MOVIE IS CALLING !!!#leon is such a pretty man. and now he is my cringe oldman wife like idc hes my everything still idc idc #and the 5 heartbeats are REAL!!!!!!!#i just seen them!!!!! dresser was telling me abt how hes an english teacher during the days off bcs he loves it #it's true i never lie #actually i am lying they cant be a real band bcs jt would probably be dead of aids im srry #manslut king partied too hard #speaking of king i love cornbread and paul's friendship so much in the movie #irl theyre friends too bcs paul dumped a bucket of mop water or smthing on cornbreadeddie & they fought #then ran away together to live their singing dreams after eddie stole his brothers car or smthing #but eddie irl started gravitating toward david even while paul was alive #but in the movie they were together forever until paul wasnt and thats just so sweet to me #cornbread is an unbothered cigarette boyboss. i like to think movie cornbread is lowkey just tired of david #but deals with him bcs hes the only other one who hates otis #the movie and the reality differs a lot cus it's otis'd say on things so it's like 2 dif worlds to me #but one remainder is paul is my favorite and he deserved so much better. so much more appreciation #a love i can see is my favorite song of the tempts and pointstop one of my favs. i love his singing voice. it's so energetic but full #of emotion #hes 🩵🩵🩵🩵 PAULLL!!!! ARGHH!! we are the second biggest paul fans aside from cornbread 🩵#pls feel free to tell me ALL ur thoughts on these movies / leon movies in general LOL ive seen like #allmost all of them i could like i could talk so much abt leon #one of my fav actors ever as well !!!! hes a cutiepatootie aaa!!! his obsession with jamaica...#ted asks #ted doodles #PLS. PLS GEEK OUT WITH ME ABT THESE MOVIES MAN. I AM SO STARVED #the temptations #the five heartbeats

8 notes · View notes

our-lesboy-experience · 4 months ago

Note

One of my many Lesboy experiences is having a oc that is actually just a queer happiness fantasy that uses she/it/him because you know for a fact most people would just she/her or at best he/him and never ever use it/its no matter what nor ever use the pronouns interchangeably.

it's so interesting to see the different ways people will avoid calling someone by specific pronouns. if you use it/its alongside she, he, or they people will always ever refer to you by one of those three depending on how they see you. if you're afab and use she/they people will only use she, but if you're afab and use he/they people will only use they. if people have the option to refer to you by your birth gender they will, but if not they'll settle for a "middle ground" by they/theming and avoiding using any gendered terms on you, even if you don't use those pronouns and would prefer gendered terms. it's weird

#every single one of my past friends would only use they on me never he #like the only time I've ever been referred to by he pronouns irl is by an adult queer person I met at a random event #people will “compromise” for a neutral gender because transitioning to be a man or a woman #is just too much for them. like they don't see you as your actual gender and don't want to see you go to the “other side”#literally oppositional sexism 101 #lesboy #our lesboy experience #lesbian #asks #tw transphobia #tw queerphobia

18 notes · View notes

needlesandnilbogs · 20 days ago

Text

hello I am hyperfixating on media

#we are in week 2 or 3 of a serious cyberchase obsession #I have at least six or seven distinct fic ideas including like five crossovers with murderbot #one of which I’m writing and another of which I really want to write #but anyways apparently I’m obvious about it irl to people who aren’t my close friends #like if you are seeing this and you know me irl I feel like you guys knew pretty much the instant this started #but it’s obvious to other people irl that I have a new hyperfixation? apparently #and talking around the fact that I’m obsessing over cyberchase is hard #did end up saying it when asked in one class and people went omg it’s still running and I only went on a short ramble about that

8 notes · View notes

pixelatedraindrops · 4 months ago

Text

Nurse Pixel: I'm going to examine you!

Kazin: ...Eh!?

Usually if friends of mine are not feeling well or are sick I send them my best wishes and they get better in the next few days. (or they tell me their symptoms and I get inspired by it somehow lol)

But with Kazin, I found out she's had bloating and stomachaches for almost a year multiple times a month and hasn’t gotten any better. She didn't seem to know what was wrong with her.

So I did a full examination. (aka asking questions and taking a guess from my knowledge)

My final diagnosis: She has IBS-C

...and yet she probably still won't resist the urges to fill herself with caffeine and junkfood... xD

(your funeral bestie haha i tried)

but yeah I doodled our lil’ sonas for funsies

I gave hers a coffee color scheme ☕

#my art #pixeldoodles #pixelsona #chibi art #anime art #doodle #yeah when I was talking to her about my stomachache fascination #and we were brainstorming ideas #the personal experiences she described began to concern me #so I tried to do some digging and this is just my opinion xD #i’m no medical expert just a friend giving advice~#and I’ll likely continue to monitor her health #they don’t call me nurse pixel for nothing~#actually only I call myself that haha #can’t do medical stuff irl so I like playing the role c:#but yeah before my questioning I drew this I found the idea cute #and I like to draw personas in color palettes idk why #makes it look different from my usual art ig #kazin doesn’t mind me sharing this xD and I think a lot of people struggle w ibs anyway ~#its pretty common nowadays but I’m glad I at least gave her a possible idea #its fun playing nurse for my friends ^^#just something different but it came out cute so I wanted to share #i didn’t like the other one before… xD

12 notes · View notes

princesshair · 23 days ago

Text

.

#the other day i complained how most of my irl friends didn’t send me a single message about liam #and how it made me feel alone and not important #today one of them finally send me something #he said he didn’t know if he should bc he doesn’t know what to say #and that if i want to talk he’s there for me #but honestly? the only thing i wanna answer him is ‘fuck you’#I’m mad #you don’t have to say much to show you care #just a ‘hey how you doing?’ just shows it #‘oh but he did send something’#well yeah but it’s not the same now #it just isn’t #idk if I’m way too petty but i just can’t feel mad #personal

10 notes · View notes

bmpmp3 · 1 month ago

Text

i do wish i was better at communicating with people online and through technology. i wander into conversations and make new ones all the time irl with random people and its fun but im like hyping myself to type out a single response to a Post. and to say nothing of how difficult it is to get me to say something in a discord server

#or even video or audio calls are becoming hard for me rn. i used to be better at this #i used to be sooo good at talking to people online. maybe. or maybe not actually #now that i think about it ive always been a little outside of everything in both irl and online communities ive been in #you know i was part of the mods for a deviantart species a long time ago. i was pretty bad at my job i was always too slow to actually mod #and one day i came home from school and like the entire modbase imploded because of drama on a discord or smth they had that i wasnt in LOL #tbh i was a bit older than all of them and busy with final year of highschool stuff so i wasnt super present. i think they just had me on #because while i wasnt particularly popular as an artist i did have some eyecatching polish on my art. but it was wild i was like #whats going on. who are you people. where am i. i have to apply to ouac rn i dont know whats happening #wait random ass deviantart drama i was vaguely adjacent to but still dont really know what happened aside. i would like to chat more #i think the easiest way to converse with me is commenting on my posts like theyre forum threads. or dming me. sometimes #im so bad with group chats. especially if they have multiple channels. the only group chat ive stuck with is a tiny one with like #two other friends and we just write thoughts and about our day and pictures of animals and whatever #i get confused and scared in discords. i get so confused and scared #i used to be okay with discord calls but even with that ive been struggling. am i scared of the computer #am i scared of the computer. the machine. whats happening

9 notes · View notes

aggressionbread · 28 days ago

Text

the problem with competitive gaming spaces is i want to be treated like a person, not a woman, and unfortunately there is a distinction that i've been made to feel

#its not just in gaming spaces and a lot of it is more than a gender thing its a heteronormative thing #its an extremely male dominated space and rarely anyone talks to me #and the few who do clam up and walk away when my bf shows up. like im property. or a stake thats already been claimed #even outside of gaming spaces only 1 of my bf's friends even acknowledges my existence and talks to me #bc heteronormative culture dictates men and women can't be friends #as one of the few women in the irl spaces i exist in it feels pretty isolating #i'll always be 'other'#not to mention the completely unrelated problem of struggling to fit in with other women ive been struggling with all my life

10 notes · View notes

californianedgeworth · 1 year ago

Text

youtube

since I have more aa fandom followers from the comic i posted maybe any of them would be interested in watching my 1-year-old objection.lol that's kinda cringe but funny enough that i thought it deserved more online traction haha jk...unless???

#ace attorney #objection.lol #narumitsu #wrightworth #it's not that cringe. it's a little cringe but it appeals to my sense of humor so i don't care that much #i had fun making it and i have fun rewatching it #and yet it only has 2 likes. it went unappreciated in its era of release #probably didn't help bcus it was my first yt video and also doesn't stand out among similar videos #my irl friends watched it but they didn't get it because they're not aa fans #if it amuses just one other person then i'm happy #my txtstuff #Youtube

63 notes · View notes

nyxi-pixie · 5 months ago

Text

I DONT WANNA BE THE OWNER OF YOUR FANTASY!!! I JUST WANNA BE A PART OF YOUR FAMILY!!!!!

#ME WHEN🥰🤩😘😍🥰😍🥰😍🤩😘😘🥰😍😍😍#i can never have irl friendships w/o them being tainted by my sexuality lolll #like it was fine when all of my friends were queer. that group was fucked for vastly different reasons #but like. straight men who KNOW that im a lesbian will start being friendly and im incredibly fucking lonely all the time so its like :) yay #and then EVERY TIME. it was only ever bc they wanted to fuck me.#and if i have one more fucking 'straight' girl tell me i turned her gay im going to blow something up #you dont even like me youve j had bad experiences w men and have a weird romanticised view of wlw relationships #and youve decided that i fit the bill of ur aesthetic shit bc you think all the other queer girls we know are ugly.#insane thing to say btw. 'oh im having a sexuality crisis over u bc ur the only hot lesbian ive ever met.' real love for the community there #anyway. this keeps happening and im so bored of it this is why im shit at irl friendships #nyxi cant stfu #vent post

15 notes · View notes

cali · 8 months ago

Text

idont understand forest its too complex for me my dads art is like 80% about forest but i can barely discern what i feel about it. these are from 2 different hikes.

onboth together i found 1 deer leg bone and 1 dead shrew and about 25 alive deer, running

#and usually the hikes are with my dad only but one of these was with my irl besr friend the other was with my dad AND mom #shes usually not in tje mood for hike

37 notes · View notes

ryssbelle · 9 months ago

Text

Had a 12 hour or so call with my friends and made some doodles of my fav moments

#my art #irl moments #i love my friends #comic #cartoon #all of these were made while we were on call #at one point all of us were streaming to each other #and only one of us was watching all the streams #i couldn't watch either cuz i was on my ipad and discord is fucky wucky #i know how to do split screen but again discord not cool #all of these will be given no context #they were so much fun tho #this was in early feb or late jan #the friend in the glasses was playing smite the whole time #and the one in the ponytail was switching between games she started with phasmaphobia then later moved onto sims #i cant remember if there were games in between #i was just drawing almost the whole time and streaming my art program #which is why thwy were yelling at me for my layer problem #and at some point i got tired and played gta then spiderman #at that point tho we were ALL tired #again that call lasted a long ass time #but i would do it again 1000 times cuz i love my friends #we actually had a 2 to 3 hour call today while once again playing 3 seperate games #or maybe it was 1 to 2 hours idk #anyway once again i love my friends and no i will not delete my 300 layers thank you very much

20 notes · View notes