#Only for something to snap under her and the last thing Lucy “sees” is the rapid descend towards the brook filled with flowers and water

[immediatebreakfast]

Lucy thinking the nightingale song being her mother trying to comfort her broke me

Moreso when the nightingale, that tiny brown common bird, represent nature's purity and virtue through its spontaneous songs. A nightingale singing as Lucy tries to make sense of the chaos around her is almost a call for help to anyone who might hear, so Lucy sees it as her mom trying to tell her that all will pass.

And who could blame Lucy, when such traumatic night led her to have the most tender transfusion up to date made by Quincey out of love. Then, to wake up and come to terms that not only her mother is dead, but her home is not safe anymore.

Her eye then lit on Van Helsing and on me too, and gladdened. Then she looked around the room, and seeing where she was, shuddered; she gave a loud cry, and put her poor thin hands before her pale face.

How could Lucy not cry? From yesterday to today, everything painted down the death of her mother, and the loss of her innocence in the narrative. Even with her wits, her caged thoughts, and her self imposed deprecation Lucy is the paragon of light in the novel, she had a more picturesque way of seeing, and feeling the world that the other characters lacked. It was a matter of difference in motion, and yesterday Lucy lost it all. Not lost, but it was taken away from her in the most outrageous way possible.

Which is why Lucy now feels hopeless.

but she was very low in thought and spirit, and wept silently and weakly for a long time. We told her that either or both of us would now remain with her all the time, and that seemed to comfort her.

It's a miracle, and a very welcomed gesture that Van Helsing, and Jack promised to stay with her permanently (victorian social rules be damned) because what Lucy needs right now is people that truly are there to help her with anything.

[mj0702]

The other Bronze – Part 15

The rest of camp went by like a blur. Sarina continued to include you more and more in the daily tasks of training and organisation of the national team and slowly you found joy in your new role (the added bonus of being allowed to yell at Lucy to run faster or to yell at Leah to bring her knees up higher just played right into it). The dutch Head coach saw with growing pride how you transitioned into your position as her new addition of staff. Getting you to sign the contract was one of a task. You didn't give in easy having the legal department rewrite your contract multiple times adding clauses to protect your relationships – if it was the family relationship with Lucy (and let's be honest Keira) or your romantically relationship with Georgia. You also pushed the limit of salary until the very last penny – not that you were able to access the money since it will go straight in an account which was under observation by your guardian Jill Scott. You yourself had a deal with Jill that if you needed some extra pocket money she would take it out of your account but only if you could give a good reason.

Just like now when you were about to book a whole as bag pipers band to pipe “Scotland the Brave” at exactly midnight outside Sarinas room to welcome her new age – aka her birthday. You knew that your adoptive Mom hated bag pipes with passion since it was too squeaky and too loud in her opinion but since you were technically Scottish you couldn't care less. Also you didn't give a flying fudge (Keira banned any swearword since Less, Toons and you went a little overboard one evening at dinner watching a mens game on the tablet) that you would wake up probably the whole hotel – you loved your Mama Rina too much to care. Of course Jill was straight on board with your shenanigans being a big kid herself. So you spent around two hours looking for the perfect pipers and comparing different prices. You settled on three pipers, an additional drummer and three songs. “Scotland the Brave”, “Auld lang syne” and “When the Saints go Marching in” - all very squeaky and loud. You were sure Mama Rina would love you for your great Birthday present – she'll probably strangle you to death but it was worth it.

You were so happy with your purchase that you entered the dining room whistleing and smiling.

“What got you all smiley Bubs?” your sister asked you smiling too seeing you in a good mood

“Just a good day” you answered smiling even wider

“Why do I feel trouble?” Keira now asked appearing next to you

“Maybe that extra Banana at breakfast?” you looked at her innocently

“No.. no it has nothing to do with the banana” the blonde mused giving you a once over

“You're just being paranoid” you waved her off skipping over to your girlfriend and best friends

“I just know you too well” Keira yelled after you and you (again) waved her off with a “yeah yeah”

“She's up to something” the blonde said turning around to Lucy who was about to stuff a bread roll in her mouth stopping mid air

“Let her be Kei... she's slowly getting back to normal after her episode in Barcelona... you and I both know she's still pretending a lot and me freaking out with G didn't help” Lucy said as she watched you shoving Tooney around laughing loudly when the brown haired girl ran into Leah.

“Oh it certainly didn't... and we WILL have a talk about it when we're back in Spain” the blonde answered sending your sister an angry glare “What were you thinking?”

“I wasn't... I just saw her crying and my brain short circuit...” your sister said slowly

“On one side I understand Luce... I do... because seeing her cry is the worst thing in the world – but you can't do that... you can't lose control like this” Keira said softly

“I know” Lucy huffed finally taking a bite of her bread roll

“I DARE YOU LESS!!” Keira and Lucys eyes snapped immediately over to you when you laughed loudly

“No... NO... you can dare all you want but NO” Lessi answered shaking her head frantically her eyes wide

“You know what that means right??” you smirked evilly at her

“I'm NOT declaring you as me football-wife on Social Media” the blonde huffed

“Then suck it up and eat them” you pointed at the offending vegetables on the plate in the middle of the table

“No” Less whined desperately “Keira please... help” she turned to her teammate begging

“Eat your veggies Less....” Keira rolled her eyes seeing that you three just causing chaos again

“But” the light blonde whined

“Less... I want to eat my lunch in peace” now Leah interrupted her glaring “.... if you won't let me eat in peace I'll shove them Brussels sprouts down your throat by myself”

“Wow.... okay” Lessi looks at her capitan shocked and taken aback “No need to get violent – not me fault you miss your girlfriend”

“Don't” Leah warned her teammate pointing at her threatening

“Let's go over there... she can simmer in her bad mood alone” you said grumbling pulling Lessi along “Bet Millie and Rach are very happy to see us”

“Okay Lee... what's up?” Georgia asked watching you plopp down next to Rachel and on top of Millie

“I do miss my girl... but I'm nervous G... we're playing Spain in three Days and I'm nervous” the blonde spilled her thoughts to her best friend

“It's just a friendly Lee... no need to stress about it okay...” your girlfriend said softly “... we use some of the new plays we trained and you'll Skipper the shit out of that game”

“Thanks G... really” Leah said sighing a little more relaxed “Now please go and get your girl under control” she pointed over to you where you were concentrating on snipping peas at Sarina and some staff members under the low cheering of Millie and Rachel

“Oh shit” Georgia said quickly as she followed Leahs gaze scrambling off towards you

“Okay everyone listen up!!” Sarina said loudly when all the Lionesses were seated “As you know we arranged a friendly against Spain in a couple of days – we'll go over the Line-up later today but I want to inform you beforehand that there will be some significant changes due to our new tactics. I plan on giving everyone some minutes – if not this game than the next one which is four days later. Also I want to announce y/n Bronze as new addition to our Team. She'll be part of our analytics staff and she already showed her value since she pointed out some good moves for us to get past Spains defence”

“And Ona” you threw in chewing on your Steak you got for lunch

“And Ona Batlle yes” Sarina rolled her eyes but everyone saw it was just for show “Don't interrupt me and don't speak with your mouth full... I know you got raised better than this”

“Yes ma'am” you said your voice muffled by the potato you decided to push into your mouth before answering smiling at your adoptive Mom widely

“Walsh.... get your kid under control” the Dutch said and everyone laughed at Keiras offended face

“Excuse me.... the last time I checked she listened to the name Bronze” Keira exclaimed picking up the banter with her head coach

“While that is true I can't really say “Lucy get your kid under control”...” Sarina answered pointing at Lucy who was about to shovel some pasta into her mouth – just like you did with your potato

“It wouldn't be much use” the dutch said flatly and everyone started to laugh as both Bronzes looked up sporting the same caught look with both of your forks mid air

“I get your point” Keira huffed her face deadpan “You two really can't help yourselves can't you”

“What?” both you and Lucy asked confused

“Nothing... you keep on shovelling” Keira said rolling her eyes once more

You and Lucy looked at each other before shrugging your shoulders and continuing eating

“As I said... we have some new tactics which might look strange on paper and will be confusing at first but I like how y/n gets a read on things and thinks outside of the box” the dutch said seriously “You all noticed how I included her more this Camp because I think she's now at a point very we can profit from her exceptional eye and solutions – yes the upcoming games are just friendlies but that won't stop us from playing our best”

“Sorry to interrupt again but.... the food gets cold” you said raising your hand while already talking

“If you wouldn't interrupt me all the time I would be done already” Sarina threw you a warning glance

“Sorry” you mumbled “But... can you maybe... talk faster Mama Rina”

“If you have questions my door is always open” the dutch said her patience running low “You can also ask the new member of staff but I doubt you get a satisfying answer out of her”

Everyone laughed again as you hummed agreeing pushing your vegetables on your girlfriends appetizer plate much to Keiras dismay

“What is THAT??” your girlfriend looked up from her plate pulling a face while you bit your lip to stop yourself from laughing

“Shouldn't you know babe? You ARE half-Jamaican after all” you smirked as the table bursted out laughing

“So funny” Georgia said flatly “How did you pull that off?”

“Just asked the Chef very nicely to make something from home since you miss the Reggae feeling so much” you smirked very happy with yourself

“I will get you back for that” your girlfriend growled “but back to me initial question... WHAT is THAT??”

“How should I know... that's your traditional food” you shrugged your shoulders grinning

“I regret the day you found that video” Georgia grumbled as she stabbed her fork into the brownish-yellowish dish

“You love me too much to actually be mad” you smirked watching how your girlfriend struggles to actually bring the fork to her mouth “And be grateful – they made me feed Toons dog food”

“Dog food??” Georgia asked shocked

“It was chicken paste” Toons rolled her eyes

“I'm 100% positive it was dog food” you countered “they just told you it was chicken so you wouldn't throw up and sue them.... now come on babe... taste it and tell me if it tastes like home” you grinned

“I really REALLY want to kick you right now” your girlfriend grumbles but finally got over herself quickly stuffing the food loaded fork into her mouth

“It's.... actually not bad... It's really good actually” G shrugged her shoulders “It's a curry... I like curries”

“See.... I did something nice for you there....” you grinned

“But what curry.. definitely not chicken” your girlfriend mumbled as she poked the meat on the plate

“Wait... Jesse...” you yelled over to the buffet where some chefs were standing handing out food

“Yes?” one of the shorter ones looked over to you

“What meat is that??” you shouted back lifting your girlfriends plate up

“Goat” came the answer immediately and you could see how Georgias eyes grow wide in shock and you swear you saw her heave for a second there

“Thanks” you said and he lifted his hand in reply

“Was... was he serious?” your girlfriend asked as the colour slowly left her face

“Naah... it's beef” you said having mercy on her

“You are so SO cruel” Georgia mumbled as she picked up another fork shovelling it into her mouth

“It's not beef is it?” Millie leaning over to you whispering in your ear

You just shook your head smirking and chuckle under your breath while Millie laughed.

“What's so funny?” your girlfriend asked suspicious

“Millie asked if I think Carmona finally declares her love for Lucy by asking her out on a date” you lied quickly while Millie looked at you confused but nodded when you kicked her ankle under the table

“Yep,... I mean... it's obvious” the blonde kept nodding

“Oh Ew... guys I'm eating” your girlfriend said her voice laced with disgust

“Yeah well... I would have to live with her...” you shuddered “... Lucy!!!” you turned around in your seat facing your sister

“What??!” your sister looked up alarmed

“You are NOT allowed to reciprocate Carmonas feelings!!!!” you looked at her seriously

“What?!” Lucy looked confused

“I want to keep Ona” you whined

“What the hell are you talking about??” your sister was so lost

You just shook your head in disbelieve turning back around. Your sister looked at you like you completely lost your plot turning to Keira

“What is she talking about?” Lucy asked

“Don't ask me... you speak Bronze better than me...” the blonde shrugged continuing to eat her salad

“What does she want now with Carmona?” your sister looked at Keira lost

“How should I know? I've been here as long as you...” Keira now said a little annoyed “... just chalk it up to her being her and eat”

“Hey what are you talking about?” Lucy said as she pulled your chair around so that you were facing her

Unlucky to her you were just digging into your pasta (your second dish for the day) and with the sudden movement the pasta didn't only spill over Millie but also Lucys face – and the back of Keiras neck who stopped her fork mid-air and by the way her shoulders moved you know there was a storm coming your way. Lucy herself just stood there blankly spaghetti with pesto sauce and antipasti running down her face.

“Ehrm... Lucy you have a little...” you said lowly gesturing towards her face desperately trying to hold in your laughter as a piece of eggplant sliding down your sisters cheek

The whole room was quiet so you could hear a piece of dust dropping like it'd would be a jackhammer. Everyone looked at you, Lucy, Millie and Keira shock on their faces. No one dared to move while you could see Rachel, Ella, Less and Niamh trying to hold in their laughter. Rach shook with silent laughter pulling out her phone recording a small clip for her Instagram of the sliding eggplant – fans would see it later with the caption “perfect SLIDE tackle by Egg Plant Tough Bronze”. Needless to say the fans had a field day with this clip and half the soccer world commented on it. Best comment came from María León herself tagging Ingrid complaining why Lucy was allowed to play with food when she herself wasn't even allowed to build a rice volcano. Ingrid chose to ignore that comment instead asking Lucy if this was her secret to be such an outstanding player.

“Bitsy” you heard Keira growl dangerously low

“It wasn't my fault... Lucy pulled me over” you quickly said as you jumped out of your chair walking backwards away from the blonde who still hadn't moved one inch

“Stay” the blonde said strictly still not moving

You thought quickly about bolting but as usual Keira knew you better

“You can't outrun me... don't even try” she said as she finally put down her fork

“I mean... I can try” you said desperately

“No... you can't... the only way you'd make it out of here is if you'd jump through a window – because I will be faster at the door than you” Keira said as she SLOWLY turned around

“It wasn't me” you said taking another step back hitting something with the back of your knees and suddenly found you in the lap of the one and only Lauren James.

You looked at her she looked at you both of you getting big wide eyes before you jumped up again knocking against Beth chair who lost balance and fell backwards. Only person stopping her hitting the ground was Lotte who reacted quickly grabbing Beth shirt who ripped a bit but held enough so Beth wouldn't end up with a concussion.

“Bitsy.... just stay still for god sakes” Keira said in a warning tone “You'll knock out the whole squad before we even get the chance to play the world cup”

“Sorry” you apologized quickly getting rooted in place “but at least I don't knock you all up”

That did it for Rach, Tooney and Less who bursted out laughing while your girlfriend squeaked quietly blushing again.

“Why do I have pasta on the back of my neck?” Keira asked looking at you expectantly

“Lucy pulled me around as I had me fork full of spaghetti” you explained quickly your Manchester accent coming through – like ever so often when you get nervous.

“Millie?” the blonde gave her teammate a side eye

“Truth... wasn't her fault this time” Brickwall Bright confirmed and now Keira turned towards Lucy narrowing her eyes

“Lucia... with me” the blonde said lowly and your sister shook her head scared “NOW”

“You tell Ona I loved her right?” Lucy looked at you pleadingly knowing she most like won't survive Keiras wrath

“I'll make sure she's taken care of” you nodded “I'll visit her as often as I can”

“Good...” your sister started before there was an angry “LUCY!!” from outside the room

All of you heard the door fell shut and muffled argument from outside it. You actually winced a few times feeling sorry for Lucy – she didn't mean for this to happen either. But Keira had straight rules for eating times. No whining. No argument over food. Only plating as much as you can eat. And NO throwing food – never ever. So her ending up with some courgette in the back of her neck was bad. Bad for Lucy. And in hindsight bad for you because now you have to find something new to eat now. You looked around the room – who at this point got back to light chatter and eating. You spotted Leahs plate who was still fairly full and decided after checking the ingredients that it was worth stealing. So you slandered over patting her right shoulder. The second she turned around looking you quickly snatched the plate with your left hand hiding it behind your back

“Yes y/n?” the blonde capitan looked at you expectantly

“You think Keira will kill Lucy?” you asked as a disguise pouting slightly

“No... you know them... Keira will yell at her – Lucy will look very apologetic and say she's sorry a hundred times and it will be okay again” Leah said softly still not catching up that you stole her plate

“You sure” you asked again just for good measure

“Yes Poppy... I'm sure” Leah smiled soothingly

“Okay... thanks Lee” you said smiling a little turning around walking away quickly

“Poppy!!” you heard Leah call out angry when she realized what you've done

“Love you Capitana” you yell back sitting down at your table between Millie and Toons starting to shovel down Leahs food

“I would've shared with you too, you know babe” your girlfriend said as she watched you not even chewing the food just swallowing it down.

“I know babe... but I didn't want to steal from you” you said with your mouth full which earned you a hard slap on the back from Keira

“Where do you come from?” you asked shocked half the food falling back on the plate as she slapped your head

“From ripping your sister a new one... don't talk with your mouth full or you'll be the next in line” the blonde looked at you angry

“Sorry mom” you apologized after you swallowed the remaining food

“And don't shovel it down your throat like you're starving” Keira scolded you

“But I am...” you started to get shut down by a glare from the blonde which made you shrink in your chair

“Damn... Walsh has it out for the Bronzes” Tooney mumbled under her breath but not quiet enough for Keira not to hear

“I can expand my list, Toone” Keira barked out

“Kei...” you looked at her scared

You saw Keira take a deep breath before looking at you

“Sorry Bitsy” the blonde features soften “Your sister just pushed a button”

“Can we talk please” you said lowly your eyes never leaving hers

“Come” was the only thing Keira said already walking away

Outside the door she waited for you as you closed the door quietly behind you

“What's wrong Kei? I mean you're kinda mean when you're on your period but that was... two weeks ago” you said keeping your distance from her

“I honestly don't know Bitsy... and getting smacked by antipasti in the back of my neck certainly didn't help” the blonde huffing

“You miss your girl?” you ask fishing for pointers on Keiras bad mood

“Too, yes... but all around it tires me out... I don't know why” Keira sighed deeply “and Spain in three days?? Even more tiring”

“You need a break huh?” you asked understanding “is a lot lately”

“Yeah... but I won't get a break until end of season” the blonde started to massage her temples

“I could kick your ankle” you offered

“No thanks Bitsy” Keira laughed “But thank you for the kind offer��

“No problem” you smiled “But seriously – I can take you out of the starting XI... give you a little break at least”

“In all seriousness... that would be very appreciated” the blonde sighed out happily “Wait... how do you know who is starting XI?”

“Who do you think put the XI together? Mama Rina left it all up to me – it's just a friendly and I have few ideas I want to try out” you shrugged your shoulder

“You are exceptional Bitsy....” Keira smiled at you and pushed some lose hair out of your face “... never lose your light”

“Jesus Kei... I'm not dying” you rolled your eyes

“No... but you're young and the position you just took on brings a lot of pressure with it...” the blonde said and you heard her serious tone “... don't lose your light”

“I'll do my best” you offered a smile “I don't even know how long I'm gonna stay... at the moment it's still fun... so yeah – let's see”

“Good” Keira nodded happily “You want to go back?”

“Not really no... Lunch was a mess... and left me hungry” you pouted

“I tell Sarina.... you want me to send G after you?” the blonde winked

“You would do that? What about Luce?” you looked at her with big pleading eyes

“Just play along...” Keira smirked and before you could respond what she meant the blonde started yelling at you “WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TO COMMENT ON A TOPIC THAT IS ABSOLUTLEY NOT YOUR BUISNESS”

“I JUST ASKED” you yelled back not knowing what Keiras plan is

“GET OUT!” the blonde yelled but smiled at you “That should be enough to get your sister of your case – she knows better than to question me... now go and send G your location...”

You pressed a sweet kiss to Keiras cheek before running off. Keira watched you rounding the first corner before she took a deep breath put on her game face and shoved the door to the dining room open aggressively. She was met with the sight of scared face from her teammates and smirked internally.

“What?” Keira barked and all newbies quickly ducked their heads not wanting to upset the veteran any further

“Jesus Kei” Georgia looked at her best friend confused “Leave the kiddos alone”

“Sorry... YOUR girlfriend just pissed me off” the blonde growled but winked at G subtly

“I go talk to her” your girlfriend huffed out already pushing herself out of her chair immediately catching on what Keira tried to tell her

“Wait... I'll come too” Lucy quickly said trying to stand up as Keira pushed her back down

“You sit” the blonde said lowly

“Yes ma'am” Lucy mumbled sitting down again

“Okay Ladies” Sarina said loudly getting everyones attention “Time to talk game tactic”

You were sitting between Georgia (who subtly intertwined your pinkies) and Tooney who yapped about some dog she saw at the park earlier.

“I worked closely with our new addition..” the dutch started before you interrupted her – again

“My parents gave me a name you know... and it's not “new addition”...” you huffed annoyed until you saw Sarina smirk

“Not?” the dutch smirked knowing from Keira of your little game so you could get away at Lunch – without informing the head coach

“I mean I got called a lot of names over the years... but “new addition” wasn't one of them” you smirked back engaging in the banter with your “boss”

“I spoke with y/n” Sarina rolled her eyes for good measure “... we – agreed...”

“Agreed? I told you what would help us win and you said “do it”....” you interrupted again knowing no one else would get away with it

“We AGREED to try a few new things when we play against Spain” the dutch ignored you expectantly “We will start with a.... wait why am I talking about this... Liefje why don't you come up here and take over?”

“What?!” you looked at her shocked shaking your head lightly

“Come on” Sarina waved you to the stage smiling “It's your tactic – you worked hard on it so you get to explain it”

You let out a big breath as Georgia squeezed your hand offering silent support before you pushed yourself up and walking up the stage standing next to your Mama

“Okay Ladies and Lucy” you said loudly waiting for your sisters signature “Hey!!!” before you continued smiling “I spent a LOT of time analysing games... plays... players... last Euros was good.. all of you played amazing BUT as Sarina said before – it was close... if you strip it down to just the play Spain WAS the better team... you got lucky with Alex goal in overtime.... REALLY lucky... Toons that leader was world class but Spain bounced back because ALL of you felt too secure for a second... I know this is just a friendly but we'll play it like it's the final again – we're back on home soil, we play Spain again but we'll... throw them off a little... so I still have some painkillers left from me wrist injury – we split them up and then I'll let you run lose... that will throw at least the Barca department off...” you grinned as Lucy groaned

“It was a mistake okay... I AM sorry” your sister said while Keira chuckled beside her

“You have to do more than say you're sorry Bronze...” you smirked “... I want that world cup”

“I'll do my best okay” Lucy smiled at your display of competitiveness

“Okay... so back to the game... we're playing at Old Trafford this time... who's idea that was? Mine – I just love that place and it hold a lot of history... So tomorrow we're moving up to Manchester whoever has problems with it... suck it up or leave” you simply said and Sarina snorted next to you “For tactics... we're going back to the roots of football... like... waaay back – we're gonna play a “Scottish furrow”... anyone any idea what that is... the dinosaur in the room maybe...??” you look straight at your sister smirking cheeky

“Oh get lost...” Lucy threw at you smiling back at you feeling happy about how much you obviously enjoy your new role

“Anyone... Scottish furrow??” you asked into the room looking from player to player

The younger ones shook their head embarrassed as the veterans wrecked their brain have heard of it before but couldn't place it. You looked at Sarina for help.

“It's a 2-3-5 formation... it's dubbed a little outdated but as y/n said – it's back to the roots” Sarina explained before nodding towards you telling you to take over again

“Spain is overall Goliath... they have a VERY strong defence, a quick working midfield and ruthless forwards... we're David in this scenario so we have to play more tactical – we'll have fast forwards a intelligent midfield AND a Brickwall of defence so our Keeper hopefully will have a relaxed game... Mary pack a book because if your Team does its job like I tell them to do it you won't have a single shot on target” you said seriously but joked as well – you started to really enjoy the situation of talking about tactics

“A 2-3-5?” Leah asked confused “How will that work with our playing style?”

“Easy... we let them run into the brickwall – not Millie but the whole defence – take the ball off them and use the momentum in our favour and just.... run” you answer looking at Leah serious “Spain will think they dictate the game... the pace... the tactic... the ball... but you guys will let them run into the wall every time... Spain is thankfully a opponent that gets frustrated easily... the second they start getting frustrated and sloppy is the second we switch back to a 3-3-4 and kill em... if my calculations are correct and the bring the line up I expect them to bring we should get out of this friendly at least 5 – 0”

“5 – nothing??” Lucy exclaimed shocked

“Yes... and we don't even have to bring the A+ team... we need A+ defence... midfield and forwards can be newbies... so whoever wants their first cap against Spain... come find me after the meeting... I set up a preliminary line up but I already have a change in midfield since Keira is out for the game” you said honestly your eyes not leaving your sisters

“Kei... you okay?” Leah immediately turned around to her best friend concerned

“Just tired Lee...” the blonde smiled back weakly “Talked to Sarina Jr. over there and she offered to take me out of the line up which I seriously appreciate”

You swell with pride when Keira referred to you as “Sarina Jr” knowing how much respect the team has for the dutch head coach.

“You need to remember Leah... she's one of the old ones now...” you smirked as Keira threw you a playful glare

“We don't comment on players ages” Sarina told you off flicking your ear lightly “We call it experience”

“Sorry... my bad... she's experienced Leah.... she want's to give the chance to the younger players to get.... experience too” you smirked

“I can make her run laps in your name K” Leah offered helpfully

“I can make her run laps in my own name too Lee” Keira laughed and you swallowed hard knowing just how well Keira could make you run laps

“My knee...” you said carefully

“Don't even try Bitsy... your sister is the one with the bad knee” the blonde smirked

“Hello.... three ACL's” you exclaimed outraged which caused everyone in the room to burst out laughing

“Oh don't even start... your knees where fine when you ran away from Alexia a few days ago” Keira rolled her eyes still smiling

“She didn't leave me a choice” you defended yourself

“She left you the choice of not running off” Lucy threw in

“Yeah like you would've stayed when Alexia Putellas threatens you” you snorted

“Even Mapí doesn't dare to run away from Capi” your sister said “So why did YOU think you could outrun her? You don't even know your way around Nuo”

“Well... I didn't really think... I acted on instinct” you said like it was obvious

“Well your instinct ended your ass in the gym with La Reina” Lucy smirked and turned to Leah “When Ale delivered her back all she did is sleep... for TWELVE hours”

“I need that workout... can you ask her? The possibility of shutting your sister up for twelve hours straight is just a dream come true” Leah laughed at your offended face

“Oh look... Leah doesn't want to play against Spain” you grinned looking at Sarina who just shook her head smiling

“You wouldn't dare to bench me Poppy...” the blonde capitan smirked back happy that the team got back to it's bantering self

“Oh but I would.. because according to my contract I'm allowed to make decisions about the team, the tactics AND the players – all in agreement with the head coach herself of course” you smirked and pulled out your contract “So yes... I can bench you... because I think I saw you having some discomfort in your knee sitting down... right?”

“You little shit” Leah laughed knowing you weren't serious

“Learned from the best” you smirked looking at your sister who smiled proudly “Back to business... 2-3-5... Chloe and Meado up top... I like the way you two work … Hillary... congratulations to your first Cap... you'll get flanked by Franny and J-Park... defenders... Millie and Leah MidDef – Luce on the right, Alex on the left... Lotte you're my false 6... “ you said looking at every single player waiting for their okay before moving on to the next one

“A false 6?” Keira asked confused

“Yeah... I want Lotte to be the connection between midfield and defence” you explained “throw the spaniards a little off... you'll run a lot Lotte is that okay?”

“Sure... I'm fit” the defender smiled

“Okay... if you get tired ask for a sub... J-Cart can come in for Alex and Alex moves up... that is if we're not back to the 3-3-4 at this point anyway – it's still just a friendly... no need to kill yourselves out there” you said and Sarina smiled proudly.

You did an exceptional job. You really took your job very seriously and still you made sure to explain your decision to make it understandable why you were starting players over others and you still had the lightness of a teenager

“Depending on if Spain takes out bait we make two subs at half … Stanway for Clinton – believe me Hillary... 45 Minutes is more than overwhelming for a first cap and Toons for Franny” you kept going with your game tactic feeling comfortable and honestly free talking about something which gave you the feeling of being part of the team

“Sounds good...” Sarina smiled approvingly “... what are your other subs?”

“Around 70th/75th minute... James for Chloe... Less for Meado... I would leave one slot open IF something happens...” you turned towards the head coach

“So you leave the defence like it is... who's in Goal?” the dutch tested your plan

“I actually just changed my mind... Mary... you have the day off... Hampton... if you're up to it?” you looked at the young Goalkeeper

“Yes... yes I'm up for it” the young woman smiles and nods her head frantically

“See... that's the enthusiasm I want” you grinned “None of you asshats were as happy as she is right now”

“Because she doesn't know you as well as we do” Lucy threw in

“Esme... you start against Spain... congratulations... Luce... I think a saw an old camping chair standing around at home... you have enough time to go home and get that chair since you won't put a foot on the pitch” you smiled sweetly and this time Keira bursted out laughing at your sisters face

“You can't...” Lucy exclaimed but you interrupted her

“Oh but I can..” you sing-songed waving your contract

“Sarina” your sister whined

“I gave her the lead for this... her call” the dutch shrugged smiling widely

“Oh come ooooon” Lucy whined again which caused the older players in the room to chuckle

“What... thinking about it I do you a favor... now you can drool over your girlfriend the whole 90 Minutes...” you smirk

“Sometimes I really wish we wouldn't have turned around when Dad forgot you in Tesco” your sister mumbled

You stepped through the tunnel onto the pitch at Old Trafford. You loved that Stadium – even if it's the home of United and you yourself grew up as a City-girl. This place held so many amazing Stories and Memories. You turned once around yourself looking at the still empty seats that in a few hours will contain nearly 75.000 fans – it was just a friendly but the tickets were gone in just under two hours. One of your dreams back then when you were still playing was to play a derby against United right here – Old Trafford. 74.310 seats and all of them will be manned/womend tonight. You remembered the last Derby you attended with Lucy. You had a small smile playing on your lips remembering the crowd, the cheers and chants, the game itself – it was like it happened yesterday.

“Hey” you heard softly behind you and it made you jump for a second

You whipped around and came face to face with your sister

“You okay?” Lucy asked softly

“Yeah... just got a little emotional here... remembered the last time we were here you know... before you left for Spain” you answered quietly

“Was a physical match... Tobin and Christen for United...” Lucy smiled and looked ahead towards the seats

“... Chloe got a stupid yellow... that wasn't a yellow... oh.. and G played left forward... wasn't it the first Derby for the Tower of Power too?” you chuckled

“Sammy Mewis? Yeah... I remember her coming out of the tunnel and nearly fell into it backwards because she didn't expect the fans to scream like they did... she tried to hide behind Rose for a hot minute there” your sister laughed lightly

“I love Rose but damn... she was shiny with the spotlights... told Gareth to put her in – she would have blinded Mearpsi with her reflective skin and bam... goal... but no” you rolled your eyes but smiled

“You always have these backhanded compliments... where do you get them from?” your sister laughed

“Lots and lots of training” you grinned “When are the spaniards arriving?”

“Already in Manchester... for a few hours now... you want to go and say hi to them?” Lucy smiled softly taking your hand

“You think Alexia would appreciate us crashing their Lunch?” you smirked

“Absolutely not... we're gonna wait in the Lobby until they're done and then quickly say hi” your sister laughed

“Yeah... why not? Where they're staying??” you shrugged your shoulders knowing Lucy tried to get you out of your sentimental state

“Hilton Garden Inn” Lucy said after checking her phone

“Ona?” you smirked

“Sí” your sister smiled back

“Wait... isn't that at the old cricket grounds?” you wrecked your brain

“Yes... it's nice apparently” Lucy shrugged not letting go of your hand

“Are we allowed to leave?” you suddenly asked looking around

“Sarina was the one calling me after seeing you out here... she said as long as were on time for the game we're good to go” your sister smiled softly

“Off to the spaniards then” you started running off pulling Lucy after your

“Remember Bubs... we don't cause troub... BUBS!!” Lucy yelled after you as you sprinted off towards the dining area

“I fucking knew it” your sister grumbled as she speed walked after you hearing you already flinging the heavy doors open

“Buenos Aires Motherfuckers!!!” you screamed as you pushed threw the big heavy double-door “I'm back!!”

There were different reactions to your entrance. Some of the spanish players screamed in horror, some nearly chocked on their food and some jumped up and took cover behind the tables

“A la mierda y/n!!!” Alexia exclaimed after she looked shocked over the edge of the table she cowered behind

“I said Buenos Aires... I made meself known” you smirked at the sight of the spanish national team in distress

“You storm inside her, interrupt our Lunch and scare us to DEATH for what exactly? And it's too late for Bon dia Cariño” Alexia now stood up glaring at you

“Lucy said we can go say hi so we did... and I didn't mean bon dias... I meant the other one... the Buenos Aires... your Olga said it” you shrugged your shoulders grinning

“Ay dios mio... my headache is suddenly back...” the blonde spaniard mumbled but in secret she was glad to see you “And it's Buenos tardes.... not Buenos Aires”

“Then that... Buenos tartlets motherfuckers” you said again grinning widely

“Nena!!!!” you suddenly hear from your left and found yourself laying on the ground a second later with someone on top of you

“María!!” you heard a voice from above you and the weight got pulled off you

“What just happened?” you asked confused as Ona helped you up

“Mapí wreckingballed you... she does that sometimes when she gets excited” your sisters girlfriend dusted you off a little bit before offering you a smile “You good?”

“Sí” you mumbled still a little bit confused

“Look at you speaking spanish” the short defender smiled warmly opening her arms inviting you in for a hug

“Putellas was adamant about it” you mumbled against Ona after you accepted her hug

“Okay Mapí...” you heard Alexia behind you “I told you what would happen if you misbehave again...”

“What she doing” you sack against Ona relaxing for a second

“Oh Mapí was a little over the top the whole camp... and since not even extra laps got her to calm down Alexia approaches the problem differently now” Ona answered smiling at how much you were leaning against her “What's up with you Bebita? You look exhausted”

“You guys are exhausting” you mumbled suddenly feeling extremly tired

“Us? We didn't do anything” the short blonde chuckled

“She means your games” you reconized your sisters voice behind you

“Disculpe?” Ona chuckled

“Again with the dislocation...” you mumbled as you get transferred into Lucys arms

“I'm NOT going to wear... Alexia... por favor” you heard Mapí beg “por favor la reina”

“Jenni... ayudame por favor” Alexia said holding Mapí police hold

“León... quédate quieto y acepta tu destino” you heard Jenni growl and immediately sink more into Lucy

“She's not angry with you... what's up with you anyway?” Lucy soothed you after she realize you shrink away from Jennis voice

“Tired” you mumbled

“She can sleep for a bit in my room” Ona offered

“Bubs... you wanna sleep with Ona?” your sister asked half quietly as suddenly four heads snapped in her directions and you were wide awake again

“Scuse me?” you chocked out

“NOT like that you...” your sister huffed out annoyed

“I mean I know you're not shy when it comes to our sex...” Ona started before you interrupted her

“LALALALALALALA!!!” you yelled loudly wrenching your fingers into your ears to blend out the rest of Onas sentence and screw your eyes shut walking away from your sister – and straight into Jenni Hermoso.

You stumbled back a little bit as you opened one eye seeing the tall dark haired spaniard smirking at you raising her eyebrow

“You were more smooth when you were high” Jenni smirked

“HUH??” you asked loudly your fingers still in your ear

Jenni rolled her eyes smiling grabbing your right hand pulling it away from your finger

“High you is smoother” she grinned

“Sober me has better taste” you shot back

“Sober you doesn't like me no?” Jenni teased you

“I can't answer that....” you swallowed hard

“So sober you DOES like me” the black haired said smirking

“Jenni stop teasing the Cariño” Alexia interrupted swatting her friends shoulder “She has a girlfriend”

“Interesting” Jenni smirked wriggling her eyebrows at you

“Indeed...” you coughed out before you laid eyes on Mapí and bursted out laughing “WHAT are you wearing??”

There she was – Mapí León in all her spanish glory... strapped in a Dino-Harness.

“This is all your fault” Mapí huffed

“Moi??” you asked confused

“Yes... YOU have one and that's why I have one now” María looked at you with betrayal in her eyes

“Then it's Lucys fault” you pointed at your sister “she's the one getting Bronzo in the first place!”

“Because you kept running off!!” Lucy defended herself “You still do”

“Why are you here?” Alexia asked your sister “You know it's not really common to visit the opponent before the game”

“She got a little emotional and I thought bringing her here would help – and it did... you guys don't even realize how much you help her” your sister said her voice low so you won't catch on while you were busy wrestling with Mapí around on the floor getting cheered on by Pina

“Ale... Puedes por favor controlarlos?” Aitana asked after you repeatedly kicked her chair trying to find leverage over Mapí both of you laughing

“Jenni... por favor” the blonde spaniard looked at her teammate who just sighed and walked towards you and Maps

“How was she the last two weeks?” Ona asked as she watched Jenni trying to split you two apart

“Rollercoaster.... she had a lot of fun with Less and Toons... and then she fell again and Keira had to drag her out of bed – it helped a lot that Sarina got her to agree to work for the Lionesses” your sister said keeping her voice low so just Ona and Alexia could hear her “And I may have played a part in her moody days” she confessed embarrassed

“What did you do?” Ona asked raising her eyebrow at Lucy

“I may – or may not – have threatened her girlfriend...” your sister scratched the back of her neck

“You WHAT??” Ona whisper yelled “I swear to god Lucia”

“We sorted it out... I just – I need to make sure she's protected okay” Lucy said “She's my baby sister”

“I get it... you know... Alba... the first partner she brought home – I made them run for the hills... threatened the shit out of them.. and had Jenni just stare at them from the other side of the room – for the whole night” Alexia chuckled

“But Albas first partner wasn't your exes best friend and technically your good mate too” Lucy mumbled

“No.. but I get why you're so... y/b Bronze... Ay dios – put that down!!!” Alexia started before she saw you holding a potato like you were a pitcher sizing up the distance between yourself and Olga Carmona.

Jenni was quick to react after she sat Mapí next to Irene who just fixed the younger spaniard with one glare

“No little one... we don't throw potatoes” the black haired spaniard said as she towered over you

“It's a boiled one?” you asked innocently

“No...” Jenni said smiling sweetly “... no throwing potatoes... boiled or not”

“You suck” you huffed annoyed

“And you wish” the dark haired one shot back smirking and you swallowed hard again – the second time in just under an hour

“Bubs... come on... we have to go” you heard Lucy from the other side of the room

You looked up from where you were hunched over the table with Mapí building some Lego figures

“Just five more minutes” you whined “We're nearly done”

“No Bubs.. now... we have to get ready – they have to get ready... come on... I told you we'll leave after an hour” your sister said firmly

“But” you started to whine again what caused some of they players to chuckle

“No... “ Lucy interrupted you “Get your Bag and come on”

“I...” you started confused “... don't have a bag with me?”

“Oh... right... sorry... I just had a flashback from all the times I had to pick you up from kindergarten” your sister said a little embarrassed

“I bet you were a cute pequeño” Alexia laughed pinching your cheeks

“She was a menace from Day 1... her birth was chaos... from the moment she entered this world it was chaos... no wait... she was chaos before that...” Lucy said as she watched you trying to fight Alexias hands off

“Am not” you grunted as the blonde spaniard continued to pinch your cheeks

“You were, are and always will be... which doesn't matter now because we need to leave” your sister answered

“Then tell her to stoooop” you whined

“Capi.... we need to leave” your sister grinned

“See you after the game Cariño” Alexia smirked and pressed a kiss to your forehead

“Can Mapí come too?” you looked at Alexia and Lucy hopefully

“Not now... you will see her later at the game and AFTER the game you can run around with her a little bit okay” Lucy tried to coax you away from Maps who clutched onto your hand

“Why not now?” you whined again

“Because Mapí needs to get ready for her game too... and we need to get ready at our hotel” your sister knew she had to stay calm otherwise you would just throw a big ass tantrum

“This sucks” you huffed but stood up

“Thank you Bubs... I promise you can play Lego later with Mapí” Lucy smiled as she put her arm over your shoulder leading you away from the spanish team

74.310. 74.310 fans – sold out Old Trafford. You were standing next to Sarina in the locker room and heard every single one of them. You knew Sarina gave you the freedom to do whatever you thought was right at this game and you knew the Team waited for the pre-game talk but all you could do was relishing that moment. Your eyes were closed, a small smile on your lips and you listened to the chants from above you. You took a deep breath before straightening up again.

“okay... I know this is just a friendly but I want all of you to treat it like it's the world cup final. Out there are 74.310 fans who are here for YOU... you had a good camp and we have a good play and we have the best team. Let all of them fans see that – let them enjoy that evening and make it an unforgettable experience for them. Let's paella the shit out of them tapas shovelling shrimp eater” you said loudly smirking at the end of your little speech

You send your team outside high-fiving every single one (except for Mearps because her high-fives hurt) before you took your place next to Sarina at the end of the Starting XI. You saw Alexia who was wearing the captains armband and winked at her when she turned around. She rolled her eyes for good measure before turning back and you saw the shift in her posture – she was in game mode. Who you couldn't spot in the line up was Mapí. You were confused for a second since you were 79% sure she would start as well. Sarina nudged your shoulder a lightly and brought your focus back to your own team.

“Sorry” you mumbled and hung your head

“It's okay Liefje... I know it can get overwhelming but I need your focus here right now – if it gets too bad let Keira or Lucy know okay... or Georgia” the blonde said softly as the line up started to move

“Nothing to be sorry about, Liefje... you are doing amazing – you are 16 and still a Ki...” Sarina said softly as you suddenly found yourself getting pushed forward onto the ground

“Hola mi nena” you heard from above you and all you could do was grunt

“Hi Maps... why??” you whined

“I just misseded you so much” the blonde spaniard said from above you

“Excuse me, León... could you please get off my analyst?” Sarina said a little confused

“Wait... I'll get it sorted...” you grunted from underneath Mapí “Lucy!! HELP!!”

Seconds later Lucy came sprinting back from the pitch tackling the spaniard off you both of them rolling in one big ball of limbs over the ground

“I told you not to do that León...” your sister growled after she pinned Mapí to the ground “Who's on the bench today?”

“Leila... Aitana... Athenea... Alba...” Mapí listed off

“So... the A-Team” you laughed which caused Sarina to smirk while Mapí didn't get it and just looked at you confused

“Because all of them start with an A” you tried to explain your “joke”

“That was a shit joke you muppet” Lucy rolled her eyes and pushed herself off Mapí

“At least I make jokes...” you snapped back as Sarina helped you back to your feet

“I get Aita to watch you León..” your sister pointed at the small spaniard who looked like a kicked puppy

“Por favor no... they'll put that stupid thing around me again” the blonde whined

“You have a T-Rex!!!! I have a bronto!!! Yours is so much cooler” you exclaimed

“Which reminds me... come here Bubs...” Lucy grinned

“You can't be serious!!!” you took a small step back

“Come here Bubs” your sister cooed “Bronzo time”

“Old Trafford is SOLD OUT!! And you want to strap me down??!!” you tried to hide behind Sarina “74.310 tickets SOLD!!!”

“Look... I don't need you running on the field trying to have a go at the ref – I also don't want to hold your hand the whole time because you probably would just pull you with me” Lucy said still smirking “So yes – I am gonna tie you to the bench and know you won't cause trouble... Keira is with me on that one”

“You all suck” you grumbled but let Lucy pull the straps expectantly over your arms locking them on the back

“I honestly didn't think you would give up that easily” your sister smiled once she attached the leash

“I want that Mapí has to wear hers too” you stayed rooted in your place crossing your arms over your chest

“I'll sort it out okay... but now you hop off to Kei...” Lucy ruffled through your hair handing the leash off to Sarina

“Come on Liefje” the dutch said lovingly tugging slightly on the offending string

On your way out Irene Paredes passed you with long powerful strides and you saw a harness clutched in her hand which made you grin. A minute later you heard Mapí exclaiming loudly in spanish and you even heard a few spanish swear words. It made you chuckle and got you into a better mood knowing you wasn't the only one the fans will make fun off.

“Hey Bitsy” Keira greeted you softly as you plumped down next to her

“I hate Lucy... I'm gonna put her in as a forward... or in goal” you mumbled

Keira bursted out laughing pulling you into her side pressing a kiss to your forehead – unknowns to you a lot of camera lenses were pointed towards you and that exactly that picture will go viral.

“Lucy in goal? I would pay to see that” Keira smiled knowing exactly why you were so grumpy.

“How much would you pay?” you suddenly perked up

“I would make sure you'll have some quality time with a certain blonde?” Keira smirked amused

“Deal” you quickly said pulling Keiras hand out of her pocket grabbing it quickly shaking it

“It's okay Bitsy... I would have done it anyway – you reacted so grown up with everything thrown at you this camp you deserve a little treat...” the blonde said softly

“I did, didn't I?” you smiled looking onto the pitch where Alexia and Leah stepped up to shake hands

“If I look over your pranks on LJ, Georgia, Leah, Beth and I'm pretty sure Alex wasn't a ginger this morning” Keira smirked

“They weren't pranks... that's love language...” you said embarrassed

“You call it love hiding LJ's clothes while she's in the shower so she has to wait in St. Georges Park until someone got some spare from the Hotel? Put itching power in her bed? Stealing all her left socks? Ordering pizza for the whole staff on her credit card? Not even to start with the laxative in her breakfast on the third day” the blonde raised her eyebrow at you

“Don't know what you're talking about, Kei...” you look at her innocently

“Course you don't Bitsy...” the blonde laughed “... but you should pay attention now – games is about to start”

You looked back over to the pitch seeing Spain won the coin toss and decided to play from left to right – which mean England had the kick off. You're eyes found the way to the spanish bench seeing Mapí being tied up to a post next to Irene as Lucy made her way over grinning widely as she took a seat behind you. Sarina sat on the outside of the row not seeing the point in interrupting right now since nothing had happened so far.

“You good Bubs?” Lucy asked from behind you

“Never been better” you grinned and Keira saw the glint in your eye

The game kicked off and you saw how Spain got thrown off a little bit already by your chosen formation and you smirked to yourself. Your plan worked perfectly – even if Hermoso and Paralluelo made it through the midfield they always ran into your defence brickwall. At one point Hannah even turned around to wave at fans and stood next to the goal for pictures. She was teasing the spanish players. Olga Carmona was lost since she couldn't mark Lucy – who sat behind you on the bench and Esme was not known enough to Carmona to place her playing style. Poor Olga wasn't having the best day.

It was in the 14th minute where Fran Kirby delivered a beautiful pass to Chloe who saw Beth running with her into an open space and directed the ball a forward where Beth just had to chip it into the back of the net. You jumped up just like everyone else screaming just as loud as the Lioness fans. Beth came running over to the bench signalling you to come up to the line and the second you did she pulled you into a hug – both of you staying on your side of the pitch

“This is yours pumpkin... this is your goal” Meado whispered into you hair and pressed a loving kiss to your forehead before she sprinted off again going back into her position.

You looked up to the orange sky as the sun set trying to control the tears who threatened to spill out of your eyes. Sarina stepped up next you laying her arm around your shoulders just offering silent support knowing how much this meant to you. Suddenly you felt Keiras hand on your other shoulder, Lucys hands on your waist and Georgias hand sneaking into yours. Weeks later it would be that exact same picture that would be seen as Lucys lock screen at a Barca video.

Spain kicked off again and you smirked seeing how they started to lose their temper already. Alexia tried to keep her players level headed but especially the younger ones like Salma tried the “head through the wall”-technique all the time. Again and again she'll run into the wall even if there where three players running with her one of them in a perfect position to at least get a shot at goal. But you expected something like that but to your surprise it happened faster than you thought. In minute 35 Millie rocket the ball way into the spanish half for Clinton to pick it up getting it to J-Park who put it into the box for Fran who just volleyed past Cata. Sarina pulled you immediately into a big hug and even Fran pointed over to you which got noticed by Alexia who realized that it was your doing that her team was struggling.

It made her so angry and proud at the same time. She saw how her team was slowly falling apart and she couldn't do NOTHING about it because of you. You placed your players perfectly and the formation you chose was just impossible to break – even if they got past your midfield your defence stood like... yes like a brickwall. Alexia saw her team getting frustrated. She needed to do something but she couldn't think of a solution. When Fran Kirby scored the second goal for england and pointed over to you it just made her blood boil. She loved you. She would give her life for you. But right now she wanted to strangle you – publicly. VERY publicly. Jenni came over to her best friend

“What are we gonna do, Capi?” the dark haired asked

“I... I don't know... this is y/n going” the blonde seethed back “I don't know what to do – I don't know how she's thinking”

“Trust your stomach Capi... but it doesn't help the team if you freak out” Jenni said softly squeezing Alexias biceps

“Let us get through the first half... and try scoring... isn't that what you get paid for?” Alexia smiled at her best friend

“Feed me good balls and I'll score” the dark haired one smirked before turning around jogging back into her position

“Oh so it's my fault” Alexia yelled after Jenni smiling

Just three minutes Leah passed the ball to Lotto who took off like a lightning surprising the spanish players once again. She passed Alexia like Speedy Gonzales which caused the spanish capitan to needed a second to realize what happened before sprinting after Lotte yelling spanish commands to her defence. Lotte saw Chloe wide open at the far post, Cata off her line so Lotte did what everyone would do – she pulled her leg back and bolted through the ball. Cata did exactly what Lotte wanted – she came even further off her line. Lotte kicked the a perfect curve ball to Chloe who headed into the back of the net. 3 – 0. The Lionesses were destroying the spanish National team. When you saw Lottes curve ball you already were out your seat – with Keira holding on to your leash tightly – screaming loudly. Chloe came running over to you as well and you did your special city-handshake. You saw Alexia hanging her head low and you felt sorry for her. You could see that the blonde felt guilty for letting Lotte past so easily.

In the 43rd minute even Ona lost her plot committing a foul against Jess Parker which should have been a yellow card – at least in your opinion. You jumped out of your seat starting to yell at the ref from the side-line

“Oy ref.... that's a yellow!!!!” you yelled angrily

“Calm down Bitsy” Keira said softly trying to pull you back on your leash but you were so in your zone you didn't even notice her

“Oy... OY ref you blind moron!!!” you yelled again and this time you got the refs attention as she looked over to you as you grabbed Sarinas glasses of her nose “You need some glasses so you can actually SEE a foul when it's happening??”

Lucy tried to do damage control by putting her hand over your mouth pulling you backwards while you heard Mapí scream from the spanish bench.

“You tell her nena!!! That's my nena!!!” the small spaniard cheered you on not even caring that the foul was committed by her team resulting in a free kick for the Lionesses.

But it was already to late as the ref already was walking over to you. You sized her up standing a little taller on your toes as she already pulled a yellow card from her chest pocket holding it up over your head.

“This is an official warning” she said to you as you continued to glare at her not able to talk back as Lucy still had her hand over your mouth

“Sorry ref... it's her first game and she's a little emotional” Sarina tried to calm the situation signalling your sister to get you back to the bench who immediately understood and janked you backwards so you lost your balance and she had an easier job getting you away.

Meado and Leah stepped up to the free kick both looking over at you for instruction on who should take the free kick. You held up five fingers and signed for top left. You made sure that all the players knew your signs beforehand so Leah nodded barely noticeable winking at you. She quickly talked to Beth who quickly looked over to you smirking. As the whistle blew Meado started to run up to the ball but running over it while Leah came a step behind her kicking the ball in the top left corner making it 4 – 0 for England. This time you just smirked nodding satisfied. Leah came over to you smirking as well as she stood opposite to you and both of you taking a bow at the same time. Every goal the Lionesses scored today they'll dedicate to you – it was Sarinas wish and the team immediately agreed. This was your doing. This was YOUR game.

The first half ended with a defeated spanish team and a happy english team. The players tickling into the locker room in the best mood chatting happily until you climbed up on a bench whistleing loudly

“Okay guys that was more than perfect – Lotte... great game so far really... you're a perfect false 6... Hillary... you were outstanding for your first game... really great job... great passes, quick thinking, great overview.... really REALLY good job out there... the rest of you was amazing too... honestly you all play phenomenal... we still do the halftime changes and we go a little easy on Spain and go back to 3-3-4” you said before you stepped down again letting Leah take over leaving the locker room.

Outside Sarina waited for you smiling

“You always have to cause trouble, don't you Liefje?” the dutch smiled “A yellow – I can't believe it”

“Not my fault that ref is blind as a mole” you grumbled but a smile tugged on your lips “I'm gonna get that yellow after the game and gift it to Ona... it's hers anyway”

Sarina laughed loudly pulling you back towards the pitch as you looked at her

“Mama Rina... I have another sub if you're okay with it” you smiled

“You can do whatever you want today Liefje” Sarina smiled back

“Perfect” you smiled happily as you felt a hand smacking your ass making you jump and turn to your right seeing your girlfriend jogging past laughing “I'll get you for that Stanway!” you yelled after her

“All empty promises” Georgia laughed as she jogged out of the tunnel

The second half began as the first one ended with England dominating the game being fired up from the comfortable lead and the nervousness from Spain. Spain subbed some players too at halftime one of them being Mapí León who stopped at your height when she entered the pitch

“Nena... I love you... but now I have to do my job okay... I can't let you score again” the spaniard said a little sadly

“Oh don't worry... I know colorbook spaniard... we'll still score at least one more” you grinned at her which made her grin back at you before jogging on

At the 72nd minute you made two more subs just like you cleared with Sarina. LJ came on for Chloe who started to get tired anyway and Less replaced Meado who just came back from an injury. Georgia did a good job in midfield together with Toons and soon Cata got basically bombarded with shots on her goal while the english defence got a breather. Against all odds it was actually Georgia who scored the 5 – 0 after Less pelted the ball against the crossbar and the ball landed at Gs feet who just took her chance and just... scored. Your girlfriend couldn't believe it herself as Less and Toons jumped on top of her screaming loudly. As soon as Georgia got rid of the two stooges she ran over to the side-line stopping right in front of you

“I can't do what I want to do right now but I promise I do it when we win the world cup for you” your girlfriend said softly and you smiled at her

“I'll hold you to it Stanway” you smiled back as she mocked a salute before running off

It was the 84th minute when you made your final sub. You did send Lucy to warm up who just smirked

“You just can't get around letting me sitting on the bench can't you” your sister teased and you smirked back

“Something like that” you answered

You went up to the fourth official to tell her that you had one last sub. She took out her notebook writing down the numbers who get subbed and looked at you confused

“Are you sure? No. 2 comes on for No.13?” the fourth official looked at you

“Yes I'm sure” you smirked widely

“13 is your Goalkeeper” the woman specified

“Yes I know...” you shrugged your shoulders smiling before getting back to your bench “Luce... get ready – coming on the next chance”

“Sure... any orders?” your sister said as she tied her laces again

“Just... keep a clean sheet okay” you smirked

“What?” Lucy asked confused but you ushered her out to the side-line.

The board went up and it showed the green no.2 – which caused a lot of cheering by the fans – and a the red no. 13. THAT on the other hand caused a LOT of confusion. Hannah looked over at you for clearance and you nodded grinning while Keira was howling in laughter

“Are you serious?” Sarina looked at you shocked

“Yes... I am dead serious... Lucy wanted to play... she gets to play” you grinned as you watched Hannah jogging over already pulling her gloves of her hands pushing them against Lucys chest who turned around to you shocked

“What the hell..” your sister started

“Get going Bronze... and keep that clean sheet... Hannah did amazing out there and there's only a few minutes left... trust the process and trust your defence” you said as you gave your sister a push so she would step on the pitch.

The game ended with a glorious win for England. The team celebrated on the pitch and with the fans. But not you. You stood at the side-line and kept your eyes fixed on your girlfriend and the raven haired spaniard who stood very VERY close to her – too close for your liking.

“What's wrong Bitsy?” Keira appeared next to you wrapped in her warm fluffy team jacket her warm breath coming out puffy in the cold english air.

“Nothing” you mumbled distracted growling lowly when the spaniard laid her hand on the lower arm of your girlfriend

Keira followed your eyes until she found the scene of your obvious bad mood. When the blonde realized what was happening she bursted out laughing

“Don't laugh... who is that?” you grumbled annoyed still rooted in your place

“That's Nuria... Nuria Rábano... left back... plays for Wolfsburg in Germany and obviously Spain” Keira chuckled watching as the dark haired woman laughed at something G said her head thrown back

“She's touching what's mine” you growled seeing how the spaniard grabbed your girlfriends arm tighter

“They played each other just before camp... and she's spanish” the blonde answered still very amused about the whole situation

“People could get a wrong picture of it” your mood didn't really improve with all the information Keira provided

“You know what they say... Are they dating or are they spanish?” Keira found great entertainment in poking at your ego a little bit

“I don't like it” you grumbled

“Green isn't really your colour Bitsy” Keira smirked at the your displayed jealousy as you started to walk into your girlfriends direction rather aggressive

“Green is the perfect colour for me... makes my eyes pop” you yelled back growling already halfway there.

Keira just laughed at your antics turning walking around over to Beth and Leah starting her fan round

“This is amazing... putting five past Coll just feels amazing” Ella screamed so you could hear her over the noise of the fans

“Told you it'll work... just trust me” you yelled back laughing “I don't know what her obsession is with Luce but damn... thank you Carmona”

“She looks pissed” Less laughed next to you as you got sandwiched between her and Ella

“I mean... not my fault” you grinned as you three went across the pitch shaking hands with the spanish players.

You stopped shortly at Aitana for both of you to awkwardly shake hands and then quickly walking away again

“What was that??” Lessi laughed in your face

“We... yeah” you shrugged lost

“I mean that's full on Tooney behaviour” the blonde laughed

“Oi” Ella exclaimed loudly “I wasn't THAT bad”

“True... you were worse” you bursted out laughing “If it wasn't for Luce you'd never have gotten that picture... isn't it your lock screen?”

“Shut up the both of ya” Tooney grumbled

“Hola Cariño” you suddenly hear behind you

You turned around smirking turning Less and Tooney (who totally didn't squeal as she reconized Alexia) with you.

“Hola pretty spaniard” you grinned and Alexia laughed out loud

“Good game” the blonde spaniard smirked at you “Good tactics”

“I'll let the staff know” you smirked enjoying that little banter between the two of you

“Whoever came up with that deserves a raise – no one noticed a weak link in our play before.. or threw us off of our game like this ever before” Alexia grinned knowing fully well it was you

“I'll tell the head coach... yeah... we have a new member of staff... she's good...” you wriggled your eyebrows

“I noticed... but is she good enough to come up with more solutions since she just spilled her little... plan” spains capitana smirked right back at you

“She'll have some surprise ready for you the next time we face each other” you smirked “Alexia... Lessi Russo... Ella Toone” you now introduced your best friends “Me best mates”

“Alessia” Lessi corrected you pronouncing the “A” extra loud

You rolled your eyes for good measure and shoved her away

“You do know I know them right? Last year? Final” Alexia laughed

“No... you know the football players Alessia Russo and Ella Toone” you basically screamed the Alessia “But this two are my best friends...” you smiled

“Less.. Toons.. Alexia “Don't touch that” Putellas... two times Ballon d'Or...” you started before getting big eyes as you frantically looked for Mapí

“... Winner, Cariño... I won that trophy twice...” Alexia laughed as you stopped mid-sentence

“Yeah... sure... winner... twice” you said as realized that she had no idea that there was in fact just ONE whole Ballon d'Or... and one broken one

“You sure are something Cariño” the blonde spaniard smiled as she hugged you

“Ew... go away... you're all sweaty” you faked disgust trying to push her off “AND you wear the wrong jersey...”

“I'm very sorry” Alexia said “apologetic” and hugged you even tighter “You want my jersey?”

“Nope” you snorted “But Lessi over here is a BIG fan”

“You want to swap?” the spaniard smiled at your friend who – in true Less fashion nodded frantically and tried to get her jersey over her head just to get stuck in it

You knew the second you saw her tugging on it the second time that there definitely will be a clip of it – and it definitely will go viral.

With the help of Toons and you you managed to get her out of her jersey which she embarrassed offered to a smirking Alexia

“Come on Stooches” you heard Lucy yell from the place she stood with Ona (and Mario for cover) “Time for huddle”

“But I didn't see Mapí” you whined back

“And it will stay that way” Alexia quickly said firmly

“We're on english soil... you can't tell me what to do in me home” you whined

“Lucia?!” Alexia didn't even bother to give in to your whine “you're hermanita wants to spend time with María”

“Absolutely not” Keira yelled from your other side where she was talking to Irene and Patri

“Tweedledumb” you yelled happily skipping over to the trio leaving Lessi and Toons awkwardly standing next to Alexia

“I was tweedledee” Patri said confused

“No... I'm pretty sure you were tweedledumb” you mused

“Bitsy... don't you have someone else to annoy” Keira pressed a soft kiss to your temple

“I would... but pretty spaniard won't let me go to colorbook spaniard” you whined

“Wrong.. I... won't leave you go to Mapí...” Keira laughed

“But whyyyyy” you whined again

“Really?” the blonde raised her eyebrow at you

“Ugh...” you huffed before you suddenly perked up

“What have you seen now?” Keira immediately felt the change in your body language

“Not what... who” you smirked “Hola sexy spaniard”

“Hola little One... you behaving?” Jenni grinned at you as she came over

“Never... good game Hermosa”

All the players around you stopped talking looking at you confused as Jenni began smirking.

“What?” you asked looking around

“Did... did you just call me beautiful?” the black haired woman smirked as Alexia began to laugh trying to hide it behind her hand

“WHAT??? NO!!!” you screeched horrified as you saw G looking at you suspicious

“You did Cariño... Hermosa means beautiful in spanish” Alexia laughed

“Dear bloody fucking...” you started getting interrupted by Lucy

“Push ups!!”

“CHRIST... Ona said the female version of things is A at the end... the male mostly O... as far as I can tell she has breast and no dick!!!” you enthral loudly

“y/n Bronze... watch your mouth... we're in public” Keira said sternly giving you a death glare

“Sorry” you said ashamed “But... she laughed” you pointed at Alexia

“Because you got it wrong” Keira rolled her eyes “and it wasn't a bad mistake... just a mistake.. get over it... and now come on... Sarina is waiting”

You huffed but let Keira pull you along. You watched as the spanish player went over to their head coach Jorge Vilda (or as you called him Vileda – because he's a mop and nothing more) and their president Rubiales. They were laughing with each other when you saw out of the corner of your eye how Rubiales grabbed Jennis head with both hands and how she moved backwards a little bit. It happened so quickly that if someone (Lucy and Keira... and Sarina) asked you afterwards you couldn't even answer why you did what you did.

You saw how his head moved closer to hers and how she slightly leaned backwards. You pushed yourself away from Keira who looked after you confused before yelling out to Lucy (who was in conversation with Meado). You quickly covered the distance between you and the spanish team shoving bodies to the side until you were standing behind Jenni when you saw that he actually DID press his lips to hers. You yanked her around and away from Rubiales as you already had your balled fist lifted behind your head. You knew you had one go and only one. So you made good use of it putting all your anger into that punch. You felt your fist connect with his face (more specifically his nose) and a gush of red liquid landed on your white Lioness jersey.

It just took seconds but these seconds went past like they were hours. You saw how first Rubiales looked at you confuse. Then shocked and when your fist connected with his face how his whole face flew to the side and he tumbled backwards his hands flying to his nose. There was a deadly silence in the stadium – 74.310 fans were silent.

The next second you felt hands on your shoulders and around your torso as several people started to get in between you and Rubiales. Lucy, Keira, Ona, Alexia, Mary, Leah, Mario – all of them and some more getting in between the two of you. Lucy had her arms around your torso pulling you backwards while the spanish girls trying to get you away before Luis recovered.

Lucy (with the help of Keira and Mary) got your growling fuming form into the tunnel and then the locker-room. Sarina wasn't far behind

“All of you leave” the dutch ordered strictly

Quickly the three players got out of the room knowing not to start an argument with Sarina right now

“Are you actually completely mad?” the blonde dutch said upset “Do you even realize what you've done out there??”

“I...” you looked at her and she saw that you actually DIDN'T know what you did “no... I don't know... I saw how he grabbed her head and then... I don't know”

“You hit him” Sarina said slowly trying to see if you played her

“Did I get him good? He's an arrogant pig” you asked

Sarina just pointed at your jersey waiting for your reaction

“Wow... shit... is this his blood?” you looked up after discovering the splash of red on the white fabric

“Yes... y/n... I need the truth... do you REALLY not remember?” Sarina looked you straight in the eye and you held the eye contact

“I swear Mama Rina... I remember seeing him grabbing her head and then you yelling at me – I swear” you said honestly

“Okay...” the blonde sighed out “... we need to do damage control... you NEED to apologize to the spanish federation”

“WHAT? No... he IS a pig...” you exclaimed

“Liefje... you don't have to mean it... just sell it... because if you don't the FIFA has a reason to ban you from the World cup...” Sarina pressed

“And he just can do whatever he wants and gets away with it?” you said upset

“The only one who can press charges right now is Hermoso... not the spanish team or you.. this part of the problem doesn't concern you... but you need to openly apologise... and you need to sell it” the dutch said firmly trying to get through to you

“Okay...” you huffed “I don't like it... but I'll do it for you”

“Thank you Liefje... and please... after you apologized... don't throw an “asshole” in there” Sarina smiled

“Damn it” you cursed

“Yeah... I do know you” the blonde laughed

The two of you exit the locker-room and to no surprise your sister and Keira were still waiting outside

“ARE YOU ACTUALLY..” Lucy started before she gets interrupted by Sarina

“Stop it... we already talked about it and she will apologise” the dutch said sternly

Your sister huffed but after a second smiled

“Nice right hook... made me proud” Lucy grinned ruffling your hair

“Thanks... Jorge taught me” you grinned back as you passed the spanish locker-room

“Wait” you said quickly before you knocked at the door

You waited a few seconds before Misa Rodríguez opened the door looking at you carefully

“Sí?” she asked raising an eyebrow

“Okay look... I neither have the time nor the patience to even try to get you to understand me three words of spaniard so I'm gonna do it me way” you huffed out before yelling into the room “HERMOSO!!!”

Seconds later Jenni pushed Misa slightly to the side standing now in the doorway

“Yes?” the dark haired woman asked and you could see that she was still somewhat upset.

“Here” you said as you pulled the Jersey with Rubiales blood on it over your head “It's yours... you deserve it... whenever you question if people will have your back – it was me honour to have your back at this moment... end him Hermoso...” you said intensely before turning around leaving

“Wait” Jenni quickly grabbed your wrist “Thank you” she smiled slightly

“Let him bleed Jenni... he doesn't deserve your mercy” you said firmly “What he did was wrong... and he should carry the consequences”

“Here” this time Jenni pulled her jersey over her head “It's sweaty but I think it's just fair that you get the jersey from the person who got you in trouble”

“Meeh... I always get meself into trouble... but I'll wear it when I apologise to Rubiales... so that he knows that I'll stick to your side” you winked

“You're going to apologise??” Jenni asked shocked

“Have to... Sarina said I don't have to mean it... I just have to sell it... otherwise FIFA can ban me from being part of the team” you grinned

“Thank you y/n Bronze... I owe you” Jenni smiled again

“Yeah about that... I would love to win next year... could you maybe... hold back a little” you grinned and Jenni bursted out laughing

“You can keep dreaming because that won't happen” the dark haired woman laughed.

[hidden-poet]

Commander Snow

Summary; Under the advice of Dr Gaul Coriolanus returns back to district 12 where without blinding light of lucy-grey he could see you.

Warnings; dead dove to do not eat, stalking, unrequited love, breeding kink, violence, possessive!Snow, unco/dubco, sexual content, she/her pronouns, explicit.

chapter one

Chapter two

Chapter three

chapter Four

You got the shoe back to the grieving mother. Helped her bury it before you got home and rested your tired eyes.

It was over. He let you leave.

But a pestering feeling told you that it wasn't true. That instead you had just painted a target on you back.

You walked to work the next morning with the same feeling. You tried to shake it. Peacekeepers would have knocked down your door last night if he ordered. He wasn't going to grab you now. It was over.

But as you saw you boss guarding the entrance to work, you knew it wasn't.

You tried to pass her anyway. maybe commander Snow had taken the Panems back off her and all she wanted from you was payback.

You reach the bottom of the steps but your boss blocks the entry to your work. Dread pools your stomach. Without this job, you and your mum don't eat.

She was only 5-foot but her fiery personality, and dark features made up for her short frame.

"I never thought you were stupid" she spat.

"I've got to get to work".

She steps forward to stop you, "You already know there's no work here for you".

"Six years I've worked for you. Never turned up late. Never took a day off. And now with a click of his fingers you wanna toss me aside? I never thought you were a coward". You snap back.

In the six years you worked for her you never rose your voice at her. Always gave in to her demands to work late, do something outside of your job description.

"Anyone not a coward to Commander Snow is dead. You're looking to end up the same way".

"Commander Snow!" you heard a voice holler from behind the door. She popped her head out to show Vanessa. She was a pretty girl with long red hair and blue eyes.

"I heard you were receiving parcels from a peacekeeper but from Commander Snow! God. I'd let that man root me for free".

"Get to work" Your boss snaps, and Vanessa disappears behind the screen doors. Her laughter following her.

Now sensing sympathy for her loyal worker, your boss takes the journey down the steps coming up beside you, and placing her hands on your shoulders.

''Can i give you a piece of advice; men love the chase but hate the catch''.

You pull back from her stunned that she would suggest such a thing to you.

"It could be worse" She continues, "Uglier men. Men who take with nothing in return. He could prove to be useful to your survival".

You shake your head no. You had never even flirted before. You were so timid, you needed someone gentle and kind for your first time. Coriolanus Snow was no such man.

Your boss nods back understanding your temperament.

"Maybe he will bore" She tries.

"He will". Your voice was shaky and unsure.

"Good luck until then". Your boss turns from you and walks back up the stairs.

You feel your chest tighten as you turn and walk home. You still had two panams that would keep the house afloat for at least two months on a stingy budget.

But you were unsure how much patience that the commander had. Could he outlast you. Would his infatuation run you dry in time. What then if not?

Your mother wage could cover the rent but not much more. You had a few candles, a few sellable things. But who would buy them for what they were worth. Had Coriolanus got the message to all the community that you were to suffer.

You move past people in the opposite direction going to work as you walked. You kept your head down ashamed until you made it to your gate.

Only the opened letterbox lifted your sprits. You reach in pulling out a thin letter with a re-attached capital seal. Your brother had always been resourceful and smart. The letter would not have even left district 8 if not for the seal.

You peel it off carefully, planning to re-attach it once you had enough money to send the letter back.

The letter itself did nothing for your confidence.

The first line demanded to know why your letter had a capital seal. He called you silly if you stole it, and stupid if you traded for it. He reprimanded you for sending the coins which he sent back. He was fine in district 8 and didn't need any help. You only had one job; look after yourself and look after mum. It seemed to him you were failing, consorting with Peacekeepers. If he was still around he would smack you until you saw sense. Stay away from Peacekeepers and look after yourself, the last line read,

I love you, Archie.

You fold the letter, keeping the coins in your hand. He always knew what to do even if he had no idea about the circumstances. You thumb the place where your ring was suppose to be, wishing you fought harder to keep it.

The door was already unlocked as you reached it and you called out surprised.

"Mum?".

You hear cries coming from her bedroom and you rush to get to her.

"Mum!" you call again.

"Bernard fired me" She sobbed on her bed. You sit on the edge and pat her back.

"Mum, I am so sorry. This is all my fault".

She doesn't deny it but places a warm hand on your knee.

"We're going to be ok. It won't last forever" You console. You were going to beat him at his own game. You could endure, you've been doing it all your life.

"Look what Archie sent" You showed her the coins in you palm. She smiles at you through her tears and you smile back.

You would endure.

He would bore.

You hold your Saturday market stall using the last of your ingredients.

You had only just started but sold four cakes already. You smile brightly at your customer passing him the brown bag. But he doesn't take it, scurrying off.

The Peacekeeper coming up explains it. He picks up a cake and expects it before throwing it to the ground. Four more peacekeepers come up, and start going through your things.

You stand still with the bag pressed to your chest. You wanted to protest but interfering with peacekeeper work was punishable by whip.

You watch as they turn violent. Throwing over your table and stomping on the baked goods. They kick at your things until they break.

You watch them as he watched you.

You hadn't realized he was there until one of the peacekeepers addressed him asking what was to be done about your money box.

His blue eyes remained on you. "Take it".

All of your days profit and your change was taken.

He stands tall in his commanders uniform, his hat upon his head, and hands in his pocket as the peacekeepers left a mess.

You stare at each other until he calls them off. There was nothing left to destroy. Their time there was now wasted.

He takes a step to you as they went back to the van through the parted audience.

You expected him to say something as he nears but his lips never parted. Instead he takes the brown bag from your hands and follows his men to the van.

You stare at your ruined things but don't cry. It was going to take more than that.

You were going to endure.

You got some work on the side doing laundry. Your clients underpaid you and you had to deliver in the dead of night, but the supplement income took the pressure off.

You had to rebuild your stall, but now that word got out that Commander Snow had it out for you everything tripled in price. No one was willing to be labeled a traitor by him for the going rate of materials.

Food was also tripled. But you didn't tell your mother that. Choosing to tell her you had a reduced appetite given the circumstances.

You had found a macadamia tree behind a row of houses to pick from. You went late afternoon to avoid being seen as you tried and fill your belly.

You stood there now. Plucking the small nuts off the large tree. You had to climb the base, already have taken the lower hanging offerings. You deshelled some, putting them in a pouch for the walk home.

You had been there for nearly an hour but your basket was only a quarter full. It would take another hour to crack all the nuts out of their shells before you could eat them to your full. Your belly ached at the thought.

"Careful you don't fall". Your foot slipped at the voice.

There was no one around to watch you pick the nuts so no one around to hear you scream.

"What did I just tell you" He scolded.

You look down from the tree to see him staring back. He had you crawling higher up but he caught your foot and tugged you gently down. As you lowered yourself he held the deseeding body part as if he was tugging down on a rope.

First your ankle, then your calf, your thigh, your hip, the your upper arm before finally resting on the side of your neck.

In his other hand he held a capital issued duffle bag, and his fingers curled around an apple.

You push off the tree away from him and he lets you.

"What do you want" You ask.

"I heard you were washing laundry" he threw the duffle bag at your feet, "I'll pay double what everyone else is paying".

"I am booked out" you lied. As the series of events escalated people were too scared to even cheat you of work. You had lost two clients just yesterday.

"a trade then" he smiles and it puts you more on edge, "an apple for 10 minutes of your time".

He holds up the apple in his hand. You eye it hungrily. It was red and large, looking juicy in his hand. But you couldn't bare the thought of spending a minute in his presence let alone 10.

"5 minutes" you try.

He smirks, brining up the apple to his teeth and taking a large bite.

"10" he resolves, chewing the apple.

He could see how hungry you were. Your eyes never leaving the apple.

You nod slowly, walking up and taking the apple from his hand. You retreat as soon as you take it, going back to your place.

"You look tired. Have you been sleeping?".

You were right the apple was juicy and delicious. He waits for your answer, not moving on.

"Hard to sleep when you're hungry". You take another bite of the apple, avoiding where he bit.

'You miss my packages" He said it as more a statement then a question. He said it pridefully as if he was proud that you were starving without him.

"Not even a little bit, Sir". it was the truth. The care packages scared you more then anything.

"I miss my job, I miss my stall".

Your answer perplexed him. His strong features locked, and his body tensed.

"Yes, well self-inflected" he dismissed.

You were finally forced to eat the side he bit and he watched with eager eyes as you did.

"Will you sit?" he gestures to the steps of the old house. There was only three of them but they were long and looked stable.

You do take a seat and he follows you.

Once seated, he places his head on your lap, laying down along the step. It causes you to jump up and he lift his head in an uncomfortable position as his cushion jumped away.

He sits back up on the step and reaches for something in his breast pocket. He pulls out a peanut chocolate candy bar. They were popular in the capital and Tigress thought he might want to try them in her care package she sent.

He had no interest but knew you would.

"Here you want this?" it was wrapped in shiny plastic, "All you have to do is sit and let me rest".

You shook the feeling off and returned to your seat. If he tried anything you could just move again.

You tear open the bar, ripping it in half and putting the remainder in your pocket for your mother.

he rests his head down and lays quietly.

"todays the anniversary of my mothers death. Both her and my sister died in child birth together".

he had wanted some condolences. Maybe for her to stoke his face and tell him to sleep.

But she scoffed at him. "last week was the anniversary of little leo lerman's pa. It will always been the day you hung him".

Little Leo Lerman's pa was a traitor to the capital, his mother was a victim of the war they started.

"I've had a long journey back from the Capital. If you can't be kind, you can be quiet".

"I thought you were away" you comment.

"I went back to the Capital for a few days. Returned this morning".

A funeral for a old academy school mate required him to return home. He had to look in touch with Capital matters. But truth being told, he never cared for the man who died. Couldn't remember even talking to him, only ever speaking over him in class when he gave the wrong answer. He was used once more to make Coriolanus look good.

He was glad to see Tigress and Grandma'am too. They both swooned over commander Snow in his uniform. It was nice to be doted over but still didn't itch the need he had. If anything it only grew it.

He longed to return to you. He had hopped that his effort were enough and he would return to you begging for his forgiveness.

Hearing you now noticing his absence gave him a renewed confidence that you would fold sooner rather than latter.

You had only noticed his absence due to the halting of your suffering. No more being stopped and searched by every peace keeper who crossed your path. The 10pm door knocking to check you were home stopped. People even began to talk to you again. You were beginning to think it was over until moments ago.

You chew on the candy, looking around to see even a shadow of a person.

"I heard a rumor while you were gone that you were a peacekeeper in district 12 before commander".

"Most Commanders are Peacekeepers first."

Your hand clutched the railing ready to pull yourself up. But first your gnawing question had to be answered.

"And that while you were a peacekeeper you ran about with a girl named Lucy-grey". His eyes shoot open upon her name. dead and still ruining his life.

"Expect Lucy-grey went missing, and no one's heard from her since".

He sits up and leans against his knees, "It's just a rumor".

You jump back to your feet now the weight of him was off you. Getting as much distance as you can. He reaction confirmed it for you.

"I don't want to disappear" you admit, your eyes tearing up. Your family would never recover. Especially your brother.

He gets up with you, closing the space you created and taking your face into his hands despite your struggle against him.

"And you won't, okay. I never even knew Lucy-grey".

He was going to find whoever told you about her and string them up.

He could see the panic in your eyes, and he wanted to stamp it out.

"It's just a district rumor" he consoles.

The look in his eyes told you the truth.

"No it ain't".

You pull free from him, grabbing you basket as he stood frozen.

"i owe you an apple". You try and move past him, unable to spend any more time in his presence but he grabs your arm and flings you back into the macadamia tree.

You gasp as you make impact. It was a beautiful sound to Coriolanus's ears. He would have enjoyed it if he hadn't been so angry.

"Who do you think you are walking away from me?" his hands reach your throat applying pressure. It wasn't enough to cut your air supply completely off but it was enough to make it difficult to breathe.

You struggle underneath him, trying to push him off.

"I am Commander Snow, you are district scum. You think i am going to let district scum treat me this way?"

His hold tightens as he shakes you a little bit.

"Are you mad? bringing up lucy-grey. mocking the death of my mother."

this was not his sweet girl that plagued his mind.

"Get off me!" you scream at him with all the breath you had left.

His hand comes down. One-two-three times across your face. Tears fill your eyes from the stinging sensation but he doesn't relent.

This was the man who ruled district 12. He wouldn't have to make you disappear he could just leave your body were it laid.

Your hand reaches out, touching his neck and it stilled him from his rage.

"Stop" you beg, "I am sorry. I didn't mean to".

You feel his fingers loosen from your neck, and you take gasps of air while you can.

"I am sorry" you say again and his hands rest on your collar bone rather then your neck.

He lifts one hand up stoking your cheek,

"That bruise will never heal if you keep this up".

"I know". You wrap your hands around his wrist. He seems receptive to your touch.

Keeping his hands on your collar bone he rests his forehead on you.

You needed to get away from him. His temper flared so quickly, you were sure to make a mistake that would lead to his hands reaching for your neck again.

If codling kept him kind then you were going to lay it on thick until you were back to safety.

You rub his back like he was a child, while your other arm laid across his shoulders.

He presses further into you, moving his hands so there wrapped around your waist.

It looked like a lovers embrace but you felt like a mouse in the mouth of a snake.

Commander Snow was a mummy's boy, you learnt. It seemed logical that he was trying to replace the hole she left.

"Can you walk me home?" you ask. The walk home was nearly 15 minutes but you knew of you tried to leave without him again, his anger would flare back up.

You feel his nose rubbing your skin as he nods but he doesn't move.

"come on" You urge pushing against him. He straightens, heaving off you and picking up the basket you dropped and the duffle bag he threw.

He held out his hand to you, and you take it without hesitation.

You walk behind the houses to avoid being seen together. He leads and you trail slowly behind him.

Your eyes drop with tears from the pain of your cheek. He only notices when you snuffle.

It halts him in his tracks. He turns to you, wiggling his hand free and wiping away your tears.

"Hey, I am not angry anymore" he consoles.

You nod your head, taking his hand back in yours and coaxing him forward again. You were almost home. Just a few more meters.

Night had just begin to overtake the sky as you saw your house come into view. You let go of Coriolanus hand and press yourself against a neighbors house as man covered in coal returns from work.

You had expected that he would leave you at the gate but he continues past it, staying just behind you as you reach the steps of your house.

"Thank you for walking me home, Commander". You reach for your basket but he keeps it out of your grip.

"I'll bring it in side for you".

You freeze at his words. The last thing you want is for him to enter your home were he would be given free reign to do what he wanted behind closed doors. At least out in the open you had a chance of a good Samaritan coming to your aid.

But you couldn't tell him that.

You nod instead. Unlocking your door you turn to him.

"Could you check the mail for me?"

His hand touches your elbow as he turns, "Of course".

You wait for him to open the empty mail box at the end of your house before you rush inside. Locking the door behind you. You double check the windows on the side, ensuring they are well secured.

He heard the door slam and turned back up the drive. He tries the door nob to see it locked. If he was upset he didn't show it, keeping his face emotionless.

He walks to the window where you stood, eyeing you through the glass.

"vanessa lives by the lake. House 1-02" He begins to eat the de-shelled macadamias that you planned to have for dinner.

"she's very pretty and less troublesome then me. You'll like her".

He smiles a tight smile, no longer looking at you he turns, tipping your basket as he walks back to the gate. You would pick the nuts up later for dinner.

You felt as if you won watching him walk away. You bested him today.

But he didn't want Vanessa, he wanted you.

No one was willing to have their clothes washed by you. He must have figured out your clients, and scared them into submission.

With the loss of income, you were forced to use your savings that were fleeting fast with the rising prices.

The macadamia tree was no more. He had cut it down to a stump the next day. You only had a small basket left to last you.

Your mother was depressed by the isolation of the community. She rarely left the house, unable to beg for a job any longer.

You tired to lift her spirt by using the last of your flour to make her a small cupcake. You surprised her with it after dinner.

She hadn't even taken a bite before the sound of a van pulling up was heard. You both froze waiting for what was next.

Peacekeepers knocked down the door, coming in full force in a single file.

One grabs you and pushes you against the wall while the others tear apart your house. You feel his hands upon you as he searches for valuables upon your body.

Your mother is subjected to the same treatment by another.

A tight hold on your neck kept you from turning but you could hear the house being turned over. Crashing sounds could be heard from every direction. Smashes from things being broken, sounds of cheering as they found something valuable.

One had taken your mums silver necklace that was gifted by your dad just before he died. She had beg the Peacekeeper to leave it but you knew their orders were to reek havoc.

Breaking up the sound of looting was a drill. You could see out of the corner of your eye that a peacekeeper was taking your door.

You yelled but it was drowned out by the sound.

Once it was off its hinges, the peacekeepers released you and your mum, beginning to return to their truck with the door and your valuables.

You rush to your bedroom, falling to your knees seeing that the loose floor board panels that you hid your savings under was opened.

You and your mum were officially destitute.

The open door way let the cold air and bugs in. You had put up a old blanket but it did little.

It also didn't offer you any protection from unwanted visitors.

Coriolanus walked right past the blanket into your home. You shoot up from the table. Standing in front of the hallway to block him from going any further into your home.

"what are you doing here"

"I came to see if you had changed your mind about apologizing. I thought coming to the compound might have been a little scary for you".

He takes a step forward coming across to you. His head turns as he examines the damage his peacekeepers did.

"i want my door back" you demanded.

"I want my apology". He continues to you

"an apology for what? look at my house". He backs you into the wall

"an apology for treating me so cruelly".

"get out" you demanded.

"Are you sure you want to do this? It doesn't have to be this way".

"get out of my house" you repeat.

He places a hand on the wall next to you, leaning in. You feel his hand on caressing your cheek.

"you showed me the other day what a sweet girl you can be. Must i wring it from you?".

You think about shouting for your mother. She took to lying down in her bed to starve off the cold. But you worried for her safety if you did.

His stoking hand stopped, bracing itself against the side of your face.

He leans his head closer, his lips brushing yours. You knew what was coming next, and tried to move your head out of the line of attack.

He takes a stronger hold on your chin to keep you in place, and kisses you with the same hunger as the night against the wall.

He comes back for more before he had fully pull apart his lips from yours.

'Commander Snow". Your mother voice broke his kiss, and he turns to see her in the living room.

"Ma'am" he greets.

He doesn't move from you, unashamed as your mother glares down at him.

"What an honor it is to have you in our home" She pulls out a chair at the kitchen table for him. One of three that didn't break. "Can i offer you some water".

"No thank you, Ma'am. I just came to check on your daughter".

"As you can see, she's fine. Thank you, Sir". Your mother walks to the door way, holding up the blanket, " If anything changes I will be sure to let you know. So there's no need to come back down. We would hate to keep you from your important duties".

Commander Snow scoffs at the women. She was a bad influence on you.

He turns back to you and places a quick, deep kiss on your lips before following his directions to the door.

"No trouble at all. I'll be back to ensure the safety of you both" he pins your mother under his stare as he spoke, "District 12 is a dangerous place".

"Good night, Commander" your mother voice wavers.

"Ma'am" he nods in her direction and disappears behind the sheet.

Your mother rushes to you once he goes, pulling you into her arms. You were too frozen to hug back.

You knew your mother was going to pay for her interference.

But as peacekeepers invaded your house once more and dragged her down the road. You had no idea what awaited her.

You shout at them to get off her. Hitting and pulling the Peacekeeper that had her.

People come out from their houses at the noise. Watching as the women is pulled to the town center with her daughter carrying on behind her.

You feel arms secure you to a chest and you turn expecting to see Coriolanus giving you an out only to find a faceless peacekeeper.

You beg him to let your mother go but he continues silently, pushing you along.

You watch as they lock her on the whipping post.

"Commander Snow" you yell out for the only man who could stop this but he was no where to be found, "Commander Snow".

You scream as the whip came down upon your mother.

The cries of your mother will forever be engrained in your brain. You stood helpless as you watched her be whipped unconscious. Only then was she unlocked from the post and the peacekeepers moved the crowd on.

You rushed to her as the Peacekeeper released you. You cradled her head in your lap. it was you who should have been whipped. You wished you could have taken it for her. But he knew the only way to hurt you was to hurt the people you loved.

Your friend, Lydia saw the ordeal and helped you get your mother back to the house. You didn't have anything that could help her. The best you could do was clean the blood with water which caused her to wake from the pain and put her to bed.

"it's my fault, Lydia" you cry reaching out to hold her but she retreats from you.

"I am so sorry. I can't be seen with you". she rushes back to the entry way, "I shouldn't have even helped with your mother".

You fall to your knees as you watch her leave. You were utterly alone.

Your mother is bed ridden from the pain. Unable to eat or sleep. Two nights later, you receive a letter from him. In it was two small bottles of morphling.

I have what you need. Come see me

-C

The note read.

You rush to your mother giving her the small bottle. It worked instantly to relieve her pain. You stroke her head as she sleeps.

You remember what your boss has said; men love the chase but hate the catch.

Perhaps if you let him take what he wanted it would mark the end of this torture. You wouldn't be the first women to loose your virginity to a peacekeeper. the consequences weren't worth the effort in keeping it.

Your pride lumped itself in your throat, and you forced yourself to swallow it.

The next morning you gave your mother her breakfast and second dose of morphling before rushing over to your bosses house. You knew she was the only one who would see you.

She doesn't allow you in but greets you on the front porch.

"Have you come to your senses?" she asks.

"He whipped my mother"

"I heard. What do you plan to do about it?".

"The only thing I can" your voice was low and soft but she heard you.

"What do you need?"

"Two cups of sugar and a cup of flour".

She goes back inside and returns with your request. You could feel her neighbors staring out at you from their windows.

She comes down to the steps to where you stood and you take the whole pouches of ingredients.

"Thank you", Your boss was not known for being generous.

"When he is done, come round and i'll pour you a drink".

You nod your head unable to form a thought.

"Oh and Y/N, relax. It will hurt less the less you fight it".

She offers a comforting hand on your back, but you shake it off quickly to return home.

You make a batch of brownies with the ingredients.

You give a small patch to your mother and box the rest up in your basket.

You had showered and prepared yourself. Putting on your nicest dress, a soft blue one that ties into a bow in middle of your back. You borrow your mother worn black high heels, and brush your hair a hundred times.

You feel your pride bubble back in your throat as you reach the compound. You have to push it back down to give the guarding peacekeeper your name.

He repeats it into his communicator and the gate swings open.

You follow the guard to the well known building to see Coriolanus waiting at the bottom step.

He dismisses the Peacekeeper as he takes your basket from you and places a hand on your back.

"Thank you for seeing me, Commander". You talk to him as he leads you to his office.

"I was going to visit tonight. Is everything ok?"

You stare at him. He was so detached from his actions.

"I wanted to apologize for my behavior".

You reach his large oak doors, which he opens for you.

"i am glad to hear it" he follows you in.

"Are these for me?" he asks looking through your basket.

"yes'' you answer.

He pulls out one of the chairs for you to sit in, choosing to lean against the desk as he eats the brownie.

"These are good" he praises, taking another bite.

"I used the macadamias".

He reaches into the basket and offers you one. You decline it.

"I don't think i could ever eat another one. It took a hundred just to keep me semi full".

He nods in understanding, putting it back. He leans forward over you as he speaks.

"one time during the war, I ate a whole jar of paste just to stop the pain in my stomach".

"that must have been awful".

he feels his heart lurch at her words. Finally sympathy. How he longed for it. For someone to care about his suffering.

But he tried to remain nonchalant. Not wanting her to think he was weak.

He shrugs his shoulders, "it was a long time ago".

He brushes his hand together, clasping them shut on his lap.

"So your apology. Lets hear it".

You thought you already had done it with the brownies but he wanted you to grovel some more.

That pesky pride bounces in your chest. But no, you wouldn't let it interfere. Your mother needed the morphling not only for the pain relief but to warn off infection.

"Commander Snow I-"

"Coriolanus" He interrupts.

"Coriolanus" you start again, "I don't know what came over me".

You don't look him in the eyes, keeping your eyes on his shiny shoes. You can't. But you can feel him looking at you.

"My actions are not reflective of the respect I hold for the capital".

The flex of his shoe tells you that he was unpleased with you apology.

"Or you". Yes, the shoe pointed back down. He wanted the focus on him.

"If you can find it in your heart to forgive me. I would never repeat my actions again. You would have my undivided loyalty for your kindness".

He stands up going to his desk chair and folding his hands on top. You eyes rise to watch him. You half expect him to pick up the phone and call a peacekeeper in.

"If you are after my forgiveness you have it. But if you are after my services there are no longer free".

You press your legs together and repeat your mantra; men love the chase but hate the catch.

It was time to be caught. You rise from your chair to stand in front of him. He angles his chair to face you. His legs brush against yours.

"My mother needs morphling". Would it be hint enough.

It seemed to be as he places his hand on your hip.

"And what do you need?". He tugs you down with his hold on your hip and you land awkwardly between his legs. You hold yourself up on the arm of his chair.

"Morphling," you answer. You face was inches away from his. The closest you've ever been without his hands wrapped around your neck.

"Maybe to not have to eat macadamias again?"

His smile throws you off guard. You find yourself dazzled by his straight white teeth poking out behind his plump lips.

"A new dress perhaps?". His hand goes to its favorite place on the side of your face and you can feel his thumb moving back and forth.

"Morphling" you repeat and it earns a laugh from him.

He loved that your needs came second to everyone else's. To his.

"Okay, morphling," he laughs, "What are you willing to trade for morphling? It's not easy to come by".

"Anything". This was it. You would loose you virgnity on the floor of the Commanders office for a case of morphling.

"hm" he muses. He picks up your right hand from the arm of the chair and wraps it around his neck. It throws you off balance.

"How about dinner?". You look at him. Maybe the floor didn't suit a man of his stature. Too animalistic.

"Where?". Did he want to go to a backroom of the hob?

"Your place".

"Tonight?". You had nothing to cook.

"Tomorrow". You still doubted your ability to find something. You doubt your boss would extend her kindness anymore, and all your friends had deserted you until it all blew over.

"do you like macadamias?". You think you still had a handful left. Did it matter. He wasn't truly coming to eat.

"They taste like paste in my mouth", he leans forward and presses a button asking someone to bring in the box.

"I'll be there around 6:30. Keep your mother in the backroom. I don't think she likes me very much".

"She can't even get out of bed" you admit.

He reaches into his draw, pulling out two small bottles of morphling.

"These won't help that but will ease the pain".

You take them fast. "Thank you".

"They aren't free. You owe me".

You jump as you hear the door open. Getting off him, just in time for a women in grey to enter with a small box. Coriolanus remains in a relaxed position in his chair.

"Commander" she greets as she places the box on the table and walks away. You peer into the box to see a small lot of vegetables, a bag of apples, two pears and a small bundle of meat wrapped up in parchment.

"For dinner tomorrow night".

He gets up from his chair taking the box with him, and directs you to the door with a hand on your shoulder.

"Now as much as I have loved seeing you. I have to get to a meeting, and you have to get home".

He leads you back through the building and down the steps to were peacekeepers were loading up into their van for night patrolling.

You buck against him as he pushes you to the van. You felt safer making your own way home.

They salute him, halting their process.

"14 Cherry lane", he nods in your direction. A young peacekeeper nods back.

He places the box on the floor of the van so he had two hands to lift you up. You protest telling him you could get home yourself but you were grabbed by a series of hands and placed on the bench

The men stood, hanging on to the material of the roof to avoid sitting down next to you. You felt safer at least knowing that they were too sacred of Coriolanus to touch you.

The leader of the group, dressed in smarter uniform comes to Coriolanus and confirms it will be done with a salute. Coriolanus pays him no mind, handing the box back up to you.

Two Peacekeepers lock the gate in and the van takes off. Coriolanus watches it go, and you watch him get smaller and smaller as you pass the boundary out of the compound.

The van ride is bumpy and silent. The men look out for protentional danger and you look out for familiar landmarks to track how far you were off.

You see a large red sign that marks the beginning of your neighborhood.

"wait, just here, please" the sound of the van would have the neighborhood looking out the window, and after tonight the judgemental looks of your negibours would be too much to bear.

The driver pulls over and the same peacekeepers unlock the gate for you. As soon as you jump out the van takes back off and your grateful for the darkness that covers you.

You walk back in your uncomfortable high heals. They snag every rock as you walk, and your ankle twists so many times you loose count.

Tomorrow night he would come, and it would all be over.

The next morning Peacekeepers come and reinstall your door. It was a welcomes surprised that earnt a few head nods from your community. It was a mark of the end. Things were returning to normal.

The new door even allowed you to trade the two pears for some pastry and 2 eggs. People were no longer afraid to do business with you.

You spend the rest of the day baking an apple pie for desert, tending to your mother who could now eat and bathe without pain, and tiding up the house for your visitor tonight.

You hopped he would bring more morphling. Your mother woke screaming in pain as a bird entered the house without the door and landed on her back. You had to give her the second bottle to ease her. But it left her dry for tonight.

Extra food would be nice too. The box only really fed a meal for two, and he had expected you to prepare dinner for him tonight with it.

You had thought about feeding your mother first and leaving a plate for him. But knew it would upset him. Dinner involved two people eating together. Instead you would only take small bites until he finished his meal and give the rest to you mother once he leaves.

You wouldn't be able to eat much with the anxiety in your belly anyway. But you assured yourself it would be fine.

He would come and take. And tomorrow morning you would go to work, and then your mothers work to earn both wages. With that and a tightened budget you could afford black market morphling, until that too was just a bad memory.

5 o'clock comes and you busy yourself with cooking and cleaning. When that was finished you dressed yourself back in your best dress and mothers shoes. Your feet cried as the shoes pressed down on the sores they made.

You stare at the clock until it hits 6:30. he didn't appear out of thin air. You wait at the table still.

It hits 6:31 and you think maybe he changed his mind. But a hard knock at the door tells you he hadn't.

You don't keep him waiting. he was an impatient man, and you also didn't want people to see him on your porch.

You yank open the door to see him standing tall in his official uniform and another small box in his hands. His smell hit you instantly. It was fresh and masculine. It was the first time you didn't hold your breathe around him, and his smell invades your nose.

Checking behind him for a peacekeeper van, you found none. Did he walk here, you wondered. But there wasn't a drop of sweat on him. It was unlikely.

"Hello" He greets.

You step back to let him in. He juggles the box in one hand while the other closes the door behind him.

'Hi" you return half-heartedly.

He offers you the box and you take it to the kitchen. He follows you like a lost dog, never allowing more then an inch between you as you walk.

'Dinner's ready. If you're hungry". You look through the box digging for the morphling, but disappointment fills you as you fail to find it.

"Starving" he responds.

He turns you towards him by your hips and smashes his lips down upon yours. he is a needy kisser, trapping your bottom lip between his teeth to stop you from moving before returning to your top lip to restart the kiss.

He pulls way breathless.

'For the morphling, yesterday" He justifies with a peck to your cheek.

What about the morphling, today, you wanted to ask but you weren't sure how he would respond to the question.

Instead you tell him to take a seat at the table and you would bring it out to him.

He sits as he is told. You set two places across from each other. One with their back to the wall leaving the other to face back from the door. Coriolanus takes a seat at the one facing the door. It allowed him to watch you in the kitchen as you plate the food.

He drags the other place mat across the table and seats it next to his. Traditional face to face dinning would not do tonight.

You come over with the plates, noticing the new arrangement. You go with it. Tonight would be about what he wanted.

"It smells amazing. Thank you". He praises.

You smile a tight smile at him. Unable to form words. Your mother would wake soon in a great deal of pain.

he watches you take small bites of your food while he demolishes his.

Your feet ache under the table, the shoes pressing hard into you. You slip the backs off, letting your heels rest on top.

The air carried a awkward silence. He was eating his food while eyeing you. You could tell he was trying to figure out why you chose to spend ten minutes eating a single potato. He knew how hungry you must be.

You needed to keep him focused on himself.

"I didn't hear a van. Did you walk?". You ask. You push your food to the side to make it look like there was an empty space on your plate.

"I parked it in the woods behind. I heard you asked to be dropped off before your stop last night. Figured you didn't want the attention".

"Thank you" you say earnestly.

"You know" he places some stake into his mouth, "people are going to know about us. Most already do".

Us. There was no us. It was commander Snow and a district girl. Entirely separate.

"you're my girl. People should know it".

Your eyes shoot up to his. No. he was going to catch and release.

"the people here-" you start.

"If some one gives you a hard time, you write their name on a piece of paper for me".

You would never do that. You felt your anger flare up and you stomp it down. The door was closed and your mother was injured. No one would come to your aid if you did something stupid.

"Okay?" He presses.

You nod your head in tune to your mothers crying.

Your head snaps back to the bedroom, and then back to Snow.

he made no offer of morphling, as he ate. You wondered how he could stomach it hearing another person cry out.

"Commander Snow".

You were going to ask, saying no wasn't the worse thing he could do but you were desperate.

"Coriolanus. You can call me Coriolanus in private". He wipes his mouth from his dinner with a handkerchief.

You couldn't call him Coriolanus. It was too familiar. So you just continued your sentence.

"I am very grateful for the food that you brought".

Your sentence filled his eyes with light.

"But" they darken at your ongoing, "I was wondering about the morphling that was promised".

"You think you deserve morphling? I told you favor has to be earnt".

Your mother cries out again, calling out for you.

"How would I earn morphling?" here it was his proposition.

"You could try being nicer to me".

You hands ball in frustration. Just say what you want, you begged, You couldn't be the one to offer it.

"I will. I will be nicer, but could I have the morphling now and then we can go to my bedroom?".

"Why would we do that?"

"Please!" you grunt, lunching onto his arm.

"You think I want to fuck you?".

You mother screams for you to come to her and you dig your nails into his uniform.

'You don't?" what the hell was this all for.

"Not until I get back to the Capital".

You lurch up, holding out you hand.

"Coriolanus please"

"who's to say I brought it?".

You knew he did.

''You're welcome to check". He grins, holding out his arms for a pat down.

A sob from your mother had your hands roaming his uniform. Pressing over his arms, and chest for small pockets that he could hide them in.

You pressed against nothing but soft flesh. You go to his uniform belt that was tight around his waist, checking the small compartments built in. He had taken off his hand gun but his handcuffs were still linked over his belt.

He takes hold of the back of your neck tugging you closer so he could brush his teeth against your throat. He kissed and bit as he pleases while you continued to search.

You shake you head at him, trying to keep you throat from his mouth but his hold tightens, going up to your hair.

You pat along his torso. The Commander peacekeeper uniform was intricate there could be a secret compartment anywhere.

When you get to his pant pocket you feel the shape of the small bottle. You dig into his pocket and he catches your wrist.

You tug back but don't make it far. You beg him to release you. You had found the bottle. You had won.

Your mother calls out for you again and he does release you. Letting you go to her.

You run down the hallway to her bedroom. falling to your knees beside her and uncapping the bottle.

"here" you bring it up to her lips but she doesn't take it.

"is he here" .The darkness of the room covers bites on your neck but she still eyes them like she can see them.

"No, mama. No one is here. Drink".

You tilt the bottle to her lips and she sucks it down hungrily. Her eyes droop as she rests her head back on her pillow. You stoke her hair until they close fully.

You couldn't let you emotions get the better of you. You just had to grin and bare it until he leaves. But now he has left you confused. He told you he didn't want to sleep with you until he's back in the Capital.

You thought you knew what tonight was going to hold but now everything is up in the air. Still, at least you knew he had plans to return to the Capital. You wouldn't have to endure him forever.

He could continue the morphling supply. That would save you having to consort with rebels. If you could avoid making him mad.

With your mother asleep you return to the living room where Coriolanus had started to eat your mothers dinner. If she won out in your attention, she lost out on dinner.

You clear you throat, "Thank you".

He looked pissed in his chair, and you were eager to return him to a good mood.

You clear the empty dinner plates from the table,

"Would you like some desert? I baked apple pie just for you".

He liked being center of attention and you would give him special treatment tonight.

He notices your pained walk to the kitchen. The way your knee slightly buckled as you put weight on your left foot. When you reached for the powered sugar in the top shelf, your foot rose from the heal and he could see the redness from where it rubbed.

You pat the sugar on top of the slice of the apple pie and bring it back over to him at a slow pace.

You place it in front of him. You didn't cut a piece for yourself, your throat hurt from bites.

Still he looked unhappy and you worried as he pushed the bowl away from him, and took you into his arm.

With his chair scraped back he positioned you in front of him, shoving you into a sitting position on top of the table.

His hands trailed down to your shoes, and he took them off, rubbing your sore heals. He knew what it was like to wear shoes that were too small.

He sat rubbing your sore feet, you slightly pull away as his strong hands dug into separated skin.

"What about your desert?" You asked. You had planned to try and send him on his way as soon as he ate it.

You strong finger latched themselves around your ankle and threw it over his shoulder. His other hand pushed your dress up around your hips.

You push his shoulders back as his head came between you thighs.

"you said you wouldn't" you squabble.

"I said I wouldn't fuck you. I didn't say we couldn't do other fun things".

His fingers find their way to your panties and he pulls them off, pocketing them.

"Lay down" he demanded, "i have some more morphling if you're good".

You lay flat against your dinner table and squeeze your eyes shut.

he takes both your knees and hooks them over his broad shoulder, pulling you closer to his mouth.

Your body jolts as he lays his lips across your center. Sucking as if it were a juicy stone fruit. You could feel your own wetness and you felt ashamed. But as your boss had said, there were uglier men out there.

As his first lick lands your hand shot out to his head. If he still had his curls you would have grabbed them but you clutched at air.

He laps and sucks hungrily as you wiggle beneath him. You bite back soft moans. This had never been done to you before, and you had no idea you could feel so good.

You could feel him as he spelt out his name with his tongue. C-the O had your hips bucking-R-I- another hard O and a sound crawled its way from your throat- L-A-N-U- he sucked as he finished the S.

You felt his teeth graze your pearl, giving you a second of pain before he went down and started to poke at your entrance.

He was slow and lazy as he ate you out, keeping your thighs in a strong hold. It felt your stomach form knots as he went up and down. Never letting you fully build from one spot.

You could hear him slurping and moaning as he worked. You tried your best to keep quiet. Not wanting to give him the satisfaction of knowing it felt good.

But as you came undone, the orgasm that ripples through you demanded to be known. You hand claws at your own face unsure of what to do while the other clamped down on Coriolanus hand on your thighs.

He added his thumb from his spare hand to your pearl and massaged you through your organism. The over stimulation was too much and you kicked at him to release you.

"Just feel it" he ordered.

You did and it left you spent on table.

"Good girl. You took it well". He tugged you down from the table to the floor beneath him where you sunk.

He undid he belt and you guessed it was his turn.

"Hold out your tongue". You did as he asked poking out your tongue to him.

He freed himself just enough to release his throbbing cock. It stood upright begging for attention. You thought it was going to look scarier, but it could have been your own arousal that soften the member.

He grips your chin, pulling down so your mouth was open as he slowly stokes himself over you.

"Kiss it" he challenged.

You press a soft kiss to his tip and he shudders. Was this all it took for the great commander Snow to crumble.

"Take it" he breathed, "Just the tip".

You take just the first part into your mouth, and he reaches down for your hand. You give it to him and he places it around his cock. He moves your hand for you back and forth.

"Get off" he barks but keeps his hand pressed tightly around yours. You take his mouth off him, and watch as he pumps himself with your hand.

You watch him with his head thrown back and eyes closed. You could see his quick breathes passing through his tummy.

He looks down, seemingly irritated by you, he grabs your hair and yanks it back.

"Open" was the only word he could get out.

You resume your position of sticking your tongue out with your mouth open and he goes back to his state of pleasure.

"That's it, baby" he moans, "like that. Yeah".

His hand over yours quickens and you can see him clutching the arm of the chair.

"Fuck, baby" he says as his milk spills out of him.

The salty taste hits your tongue making you instantly close your mouth. It goes all over the floor and your best dress. Your mothers terrible shoes were safe through.

With his claw still in the back of your head, he maneuvers you out of the way as he bends down and scoops some of his cum off the floor.

He pushes it back into your mouth, through your teeth.

"taste me, baby".

He lets you get up after his fingers are clean. You both straighten out your dress wear. He kicks your chair out for you and you take it. Slumping into it, feeling sick.

He reaches for his pie, taking a bite. He groans in appreciation of its taste. Digging his spoon back for more, he lift it to you.

You stare at him dazed before you eat from his spoon, wanting nothing more then to get the taste of him out of your mouth.

He leaves later on with a kiss goodnight and two more bottles of morphling. Enough to last you until tomorrow night. Where you expected to see him and earn some more.

--------

taglist; @namelesslosers @urfavnoirette

[fanfic-wonderland]

Not Just Friends {Coriolanus Snow} - Part 2

Synopsis: After avoiding him for some time, you suspect that Coryo's feelings towards you have vanished. However, after a turn of life-threatening events, you finally decide to talk to him.

Pairing: Coriolanus Snow x Fem!Reader

Word count: 3.6k

Read part one here.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Things between the both of you change drastically after you last spoke the night at the Winter’s Ball. Coryo doesn't want to admit that he might’ve ruined your friendship, but he cannot help feeling responsible because you've been avoiding him. Even though you try to act normal, he can tell that something’s off. Every time he approaches you at the Academy you tense up, you cut your conversations short by saying you have to leave, and you haven't stopped by his house in nearly a month when the problem used to be keeping you out of it. Part of him resents Tigris for convincing him to tell you the truth; the other part resents himself for listening to her. He can tell that she feels bad once she notices how you both are drifting apart, but he cannot find it in him to look past it. At least not yet.

The approach of the 10th Hunger Games helps as a distraction for Coryo. He’s chosen as one of the District 12 mentors, much to his dislike, but he’ll take it as an opportunity to prove himself as a top student again. You’re chosen to mentor one of the District 9 tributes alongside Gaius Breen, which means that he probably won’t have the opportunity to interact with you as much. The thought pains him but he tries to focus on winning the prize, instead, and when he meets his tribute, Lucy Gray Baird, he’s certain that he has a high chance of doing so. He cannot let any distractions get in the way of his victory.

So, he tries his best to appeal to the entirety of Panem, and if that means jumping into a monkey enclosure at the Capital Zoo with all of the tributes in it, then he’ll do it.

***

 You’ve been meaning to talk to Coryo for the longest time.

After your conversation at the Winter’s Ball, you admit that you’ve felt nervous and you’ve forgotten how to act around him, even if It’s only been a few weeks. You’re pretty sure that he’s noticed your odd behavior already but has said nothing about it. You feel guilty avoiding him, but his words had a bigger impact on you than you thought. You think about that night every single day—him showing up even when he didn't want to, the both of you dancing together, the way he defended you against Felix, his “confession” under Panem’s night sky… it all makes your heart flutter in a way you’ve never felt before.

You’ve never felt like that toward Coryo— or maybe you’ve just never noticed.

When you’re both chosen as mentors for the 10th Hunger Games, things take a downfall. It’s like you barely know each other, both in the same room but focused on different things and different people. And when you try to get his attention on multiple occasions, you’re met with nothing. He does not look at you anymore.

Now that you think about it, he used to always look at you, and now that he doesn’t, something feels… wrong.

Your mind drifts to him as you’re sitting in the classroom, watching the tributes being exhibited at the Capital Zoo —Sheaf, your tribute, is obviously among them. You’re not interested in watching a group of people being treated like animals for entertainment and you cannot stop wondering why Coryo hasn’t shown up to class yet. It’s not like him to miss class, seeing how he always likes to be one step ahead of everyone else, so it must be something urgent if he’s not showing up. You start getting worried but you try your best not to show it. Anyway, It’s not like anyone would care, seeing how they’re all so invested in what’s happening on the screen.

All of a sudden, a few people in the room gasp in unison. When you snap out of your thoughts, you realize that there is someone else in that cage and your heart leaps. “What is he doing?” Gaius questions next to you.

“He’s trying to get himself killed,” Someone else mutters from the back of the room.

But you keep your attention on Coryo. To you, he’s never looked more beautiful, more powerful. You’re not exactly sure how he did it, and yes, the fact that he managed to sneak in with the tributes is insane but you are more impressed by how far he can go to win. No wonder you’ve always admired him so much.

While Coryo and Lucy Gray Baird are answering questions from Lucky Flickerman, you notice how he holds her hand and how he looks down at her while she speaks into the microphone, and something stirs in you. You don’t know what it is but it makes you sick to your stomach and you have to look away from the screen for a moment. “Quite the boyfriend you have there, (Y/L/N),” You hear Arachne say from her spot. You don’t turn to look at her but you’re certain that she’s smirking. “At least Felix had the decency to go behind your back.”

A few people snicker while some turn to look at you with amused looks on their faces. You try, you really do, to dismiss her words, but you don’t feel like taking any of her shit anymore. So you stand up and walk toward her, right at the other side of the room, and then you pull at her hair. You try to connect your knuckles to any inch of her face after she screams and tries to push you away, but you do not let go of her. You don’t let go of her even when people try to pull you away, and when you finally do you manage to pull out a clump of her hair to keep as a trophy. “You bitch!” She shouts at you while you hold up her hair triumphantly in your hand as two other students drag you as far away from her as possible.

Mr. Highbottom orders the students who are holding you to take you outside until you’ve come back to your senses. You most likely ruined your chance at being a mentor but at the moment you don’t care. All you can think about is his hand touching hers.

They take you to the hallway and only then do you realize that It’s Gaius and Sejanus Plinth who had held you back. Gaius quickly goes back into the room but Sejanus stays for a bit longer. “You shouldn’t let her get to you.” 

“I know that,” You snap. He looks a bit taken aback by your tone and you sigh. “Sorry. I just… I hate her. So much. And I hate the fact that now I look like even more of an idiot in front of everyone else. This just all makes me so mad.”

He observes you for a moment. “Are you sure that you’re not mad about something else?”

“About what?”

“Well,” Sejanus says. “Coryo did seem to be getting well acquainted with his tribute…”

You open your mouth to protest but close it once you realize that you have no way of defending yourself. Maybe he’s right. Maybe Arachne is not the main issue here. Maybe It’s the way that Coryo was looking at Lucy, or holding her hand, or that he was willing to jump into a cage to be by her side.

Maybe… most certainly.

***

A few days later, the mentors and their tributes all enter the arena for a tour. Coryo tries to focus strictly on his surroundings but he finds himself glancing at you from time to time. He had heard about your and Arachne’s fight through Clemensia Dovecote, who told him right after he came back to the Academy. He hasn’t had the chance to talk to you about it but he’s glad that at least Highbottom had some bit of sense left in him to let you stay in the mentor program. There is no doubt in his mind that Arachne had initiated it somehow. 

You walk several feet beside him and he fights the urge to look at you again, but then Lucy’s arm links with his and he’s brought back to reality. “You’re awfully distracted today,” She points out, her eyes looking forward. 

Coryo stiffens. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You were so attentive and focused when we first met and now you just… I don’t know, you feel far away.” Lucy explains.

He remains quiet. At the same time, his eyes fail to stray from you as they find your figure yet again. You’re walking alongside your tribute and talking to her while you point at certain spots in the arena. From what he’s seen, you seem to get along with your tribute fairly well. He’s seen you bring sandwiches to her a few times at the enclosure and the tribute, while she is quiet with other people, seems to find it easy to open up to you. He didn’t doubt for a second that she would. You’re very likable when you want to be.

“Is it because of that mentor you’re always staring at?”

Coryo still does not give Lucy an answer but his face turns to finally face her. She is already staring at him with a knowing smile. “I knew it,” She says. “Let’s face it: you’re here putting on a show with me but you’re thinking about her. It’s okay, you know. I’ve been in love before and I’ve suffered because of it; I know what It’s like.”

In love. Coryo has never thought himself to be “in love” with you. His feelings are strong, yes, but he has never given them a name, let alone a name like love. It’s a dangerous word to be throwing around like that. “Is there any history between the two of you?” Lucy asks.

Coryo knows there’s no use in ignoring her, so he says, “No. We’re just friends.”

Lucy does not look convinced. “Doesn’t look like it.”

“Listen, we’re not here to talk about me,” He says. “Nor her. I want you to stay focused on what really matters.”

Lucy shrugs. “Just trying to get to know my mentor,” He rolls his eyes. “But, just so you know, she’s also been staring at you. A lot.”

His breath hitches before he can stop himself and he knows that Lucy notices. She chuckles, glad that she at least got a reaction out of him, but again he stays silent. And when he does go to say something, there’s an explosion. Both of them are thrown back by the impact, his back hits the ground and he lies there for a few seconds, unable to process what just happened. 

When he opens his eyes once again his vision is a cloudy gray. He hears screaming and shouting all around him while a few more bombs go off, but he seems to be frozen on the spot. He sees Lucy standing up and urging him to stand up as well, but he can barely hear her. She finally grabs his arm and helps him lift himself. “We have to run,” She says.

Coryo nods and they start heading toward the direction they came from, when all of a sudden he remembers that you’re also somewhere in the room and that you might be hurt, and he stops. Lucy looks back at him with wide eyes. “You go,” He tells her. “I need to find someone first.”

She immediately knows who he’s talking about, so she nods and tells him, “You come back alive, alright?”

He nods back and then she runs out of his sight. 

Coryo begins to blindly run through the smoke, passing by and almost running into his classmates and the other tributes, who are all either running around and screaming in panic or lying motionless on the ground. None of them are you and it makes him all the more nervous.

When he finally finds you, you're crouched next to a girl. It takes him a moment to recognize her as your tribute while she’s lying there, covered in debris and blood. You’re practically screaming at her to get up but Coryo thinks she’s already long gone, so he grabs you and tries to pull you away from her. “(Y/N),” he calls your name as you struggle to get out of his grip. He grabs your face so you can look at him. “We have to go—” Another bomb goes off in the distance. “Now!”

You’re still in a state of shock but you try to listen to his words and you stand up with his help. He’s still holding you when the both of you run towards the exit. Another bomb goes off behind you, this time close enough to send you both flying off. Your ears are ringing as you lie there on the ground, the impact making you land on your side, hard. You wince in pain and you try to sit up but it proves to be a challenge. You might’ve dislocated your shoulder, you’re not completely sure, but the pain makes it obvious.

No more explosions go out, and everyone who is not dead seems to have already evacuated the place. You turn to Coryo. His eyes are closed, a line of blood falling down the side of his face. “Coryo?” you try to shake him awake but he remains unresponsive. “Coryo!” You suddenly feel nauseous. He can’t be… no, not him. No no no no no no no no no no…

You lean down to press your ear against his chest and you breathe out a sigh of relief when you realize he’s still breathing. He’s alive, You think as you stay there, your head against his chest while you listen to his soothing heartbeat. You hear the faint sound of Peacekeepers coming back and shouting something and a few tears run down your face. He’s going to make it.

***

The first thing you do after you’re checked out from the hospital is visit Coriolanus Snow.

You know he was released earlier and you haven’t had the chance to talk to him. To thank him for saving your life. For coming back to you when he could’ve just run outside and waited until the Peacekeepers found your corpse. But he didn’t.

You knock on the door and are immediately by Tigris, who beams once she sees It’s you. “(Y/N)!” she pulls you in for an embrace but is careful with the sling that you’ll have to wear for a while. “Oh, (Y/N), I’m so glad to see you, and I’m so glad you’re okay. I was so worried about you after that incident at the arena.”

“I know. I’m glad to see you, too,” Tigris’ eyes are watery when you pull away. “It’s been a while, huh?”

“Yes, it has,” She says in a soft voice. “I assume you’re here to see Coryo?” You nod and her grin broadens. “He’s in his room. You can go on ahead.”

You thank Tirgris as she moves aside to let you in. You say your greetings to his grandmother, who is listening to her little radio in the living room, and quickly make your way to Coryo’s bedroom door. You knock softly a few times. It’s silent for a moment, and then you hear the click of the door unlocking and then it opens. Coryo stands there —without a shirt— and you have to force your eyes to stay on his face. My God. “(Y/N),”

“Hi,” You gulp. For some reason, your mouth is watering. “Can we talk?”

Coryo stares at you briefly. “Yeah. Just give me a second.”

You nod and he closes the door. A few minutes later, he opens it again, and this time he’s wearing a loose grey shirt over his white shorts. “Come in,” he says, and so you do.

You take a seat on his bed, taking in the familiar walls. It feels like it's been so long since you’ve last been here and you’ve missed it. More than you thought.

He goes to sit next to you and you scoot over. His eyes go down to your arm. “Is it hurting?”

You shrug. “A little. It used to feel worse. Having to wear this all the time is uncomfortable, though.”

Coryo gives you a toothless smile. “I can imagine.”

You smile back at him. A short silence follows but, contrary to what you were expecting, it feels comfortable. You cannot help but get lost in his eyes. “Coryo,” you say before you can forget why you’re here in the first place. “How will I ever be able to thank you for coming back for me?”

He shakes his head. “I’m sure you would’ve done the same for me—”

“But I didn’t,” You say. “I was in shock by Sheaf dying. I couldn’t stomach the fact that she was gone, just like that. Someone whom I had known for a few days, but I had so much hope for. I was so hopeful that she would win, and then she died before the games even began. It was just…”

Coryo doesn’t wait for you to finish. “She’s in a better place now,” He tells you while brushing a few strands of your hair behind your ear. “She’s not hurting anymore.”

You nod because you truly want to believe him. You shake the awful memories of the bombing out of your head and focus on him, instead. Your brain still cannot seem to fathom the idea of you being here with him. “I missed you,” you blurt out.

He smiles at you. “Did you?”

“Yes,” You’re pretty sure you’re blushing, with the way he’s looking at you and how his face is so close. “A lot.”

“Does that mean we can go back to the way we were?” He asks.

You shake your head. “I don’t want it to be like that anymore.”

A flash of hurt crosses his face, and that’s the last thing you see before you lean in to kiss him. It’s very short because you pull away before he has a chance to respond. That is not what you had in mind when you came into his house, but something took over you as soon as you stepped into his room. Maybe it was the image of him shirtless that made you lose your focus too much. You blink a few times at him and wait for a reaction. It’s hard to read what he’s thinking just by the look on his face, and you begin to think that maybe you shouldn’t have done that.

And then he leans in and his lips are back on yours, and you’re the one who’s frozen now. Your heart feels like It’s about to leap out of your chest and you think you might collapse at any second. Regardless, you respond once you come back to your senses. Coryo deepens the kiss, coaxing your tongue with his as he pulls you closer. You take a handful of his curls and he lets out a low groan against your mouth; It’s the hottest thing you’ve ever heard.

He pulls you into his lap and your body is pressed against his, but a sharp pain shoots through your arm from the sudden movement. You wince in pain and, although It’s nothing you can’t handle, he immediately looks worried. “Sorry,” he scans your face. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” You assure him while you run your fingers along his cheek. “Really.”

Coryo leans his face down to plant a fluttery kiss on your shoulder, and then his lips move along until they reach your neck, jawline, and cheek, and finally, they reconnect with yours. Once he’s sure that you’re good, he kisses you like he’s desperate to take all of you in, and it makes your head spin. It’s hard to resist him when you’ve already started to lose yourself in him, in the taste of his lips, in his scent, and the warmth of his touch. His hands go down to your lower back, sneaking in under your shirt. The feeling of his hands against your bare skin sends shivers down your spine and you know he’d probably go further if it wasn’t for the knock on the door. You quickly get off him and take your seat back on his bed, both of you trying to look like you weren’t just devouring each other a few seconds ago. “Come in,” he says.

The door opens and Tigris peeks her head in. “Dinner’s ready. (Y/N), Would you like to join us?”

“Oh, uh,” you hesitate. “I’m not sure honestly, I think I have to get going soon. My parents are expecting me.”

“Of course,” She says. “But if you change your mind you’re more than welcome to stay.”

You thank her and she closes the door. Coryo stands up first and then offers you his hand to help you up. Once you’re out of the bed he pulls you close to him and holds your face, kissing you again. You smile against his lips. “Stay for dinner,” He tells you. “Please?”

You almost melt at the softness of his voice. “I already told you,” you giggle as he buries his face in your neck. “My parents are expecting me.”

“They’ll be fine. They know you’re with me, don’t they?” He says. “And if anything happens, I’ll talk to them for you.”

You grin. How can you ever say no to him?

[dean-winchester-is-a-warrior]

Things Learned and Unlearned Ch. 5

Series Summary: Y/N has spent her life trying to outrun her mother's reputation. When she meets the rich and successful playboy, Dean Winchester, how quickly can he get her to stop running?

Pairings/Characters: Dean Winchester x Y/N, Sam Winchester, Jessica Winchester, Lucy Winchester (OC)

Warnings: Each chapter will have it's own warnings, but there will be smut, seduction, virgin!reader, playboy!dean, Edwardian era BS attitudes surrounding sex and women. (Technically it's set in 1900 and the Edwardian era started in 1901, but you get it.) Angst, Fluff, all the good stuff that regularly pops up in my series. 😁

Chapter Warnings: Here be smut. 😊 Light oral (m receiving), handjob, conversations about sex.

Word Count: 3,751

A/N: Here's Ch. 6. I so appreciate all the love and support you're all giving this series. Hope you enjoy the latest installment. ❤️

Series Master List || Main Master List || Tag List

Dean watched Y/N's chest rise and fall and felt the warm air escape from her slightly parted lips onto his shoulder where her head lay. Her lashes lay fanned against cheeks - cheeks that seemed pale, as though she wasn't getting enough rest. He let her sleep longer than he wanted; she seemed to need it and it allowed him time to study her features and imprint them in his memory. 

He'd be gone tomorrow, at noon. He had no idea when he would get back here. He never visited more than once a year at most. His family's business was very demanding and time consuming, and he needed to be in New York to run it. But as he brushed his finger down Y/N's cheek, he suddenly wished he could stay longer…much longer.

Or even better, he wished Y/N would reconsider his offer to be his mistress. Then he could come to see her several times a week, maybe more if she was amenable. He didn't want to upset her though, in their last hours together, so he decided to keep that hope to himself.

He was grateful, when she stirred and her eyes opened. There weren't many hours left.

She was clearly confused as she opened her eyes and didn't recognize where she was right away. When she looked at him though, he could see memory dawn, and chuckled at the predictable blush that bloomed in her cheeks.

She sat up slightly, pulling the sheet up higher to cover herself. "How long have I been sleeping? What time is it?"

"You've only been out about an hour. It's nearly two o'clock." He said, tucking her hair behind her ear.

She ducked her head. "I should go. I shouldn't have stayed."

He ran his knuckles down her bare arm. "Is that what you really want?"

She looked up at him and hesitated before answering. "No, it isn't."

"What do you want?" He asked, desire flooding his gaze.

A million emotions crossed her face, too quick for him to read them properly.

"I have a question."

He nodded.

"How long does it take to know if I'll have a baby?"

Dean frowned. "What?"

"Well, I know women carry babies for 9 months, but how long before I can tell if I'm with child?"

Dean's frown deepened. "No time at all. I can tell you right now. You're not with child."

Her eyes widened. "How can you tell?" She looked down at herself, looking under the sheet at her stomach as though looking for a message there.

Dean shook his head in disbelief. "Because we didn't do what we'd need to in order to make a baby."

Her head snapped up to look at him. "What do you mean?"

He took a deep breath. "Y/N, what do you think has to happen to make a baby?"

She blushed harder. "A man and woman take off their clothes and lay in bed and the man does something and hopefully a baby comes. At least, usually it's hopeful when the man and woman are married."

Dean put his hand to his mouth, and studied her. How had she gotten to the age of twenty-six without knowing the basic biological necessities of procreating?

Y/N turned to face him more fully. "So, do you mean, that what you did to me," her skin was on fire, "that wasn't the marriage act?"

"The what?"

"The marriage act. I only know a little from friends at school. That's what they said had to happen to make a baby, and Mrs. Oliver called it the marriage act. Is that not what it's called?"

Dean pushed a hand through his hair and tried not to laugh. "Well, we're not married, so it wouldn't make sense to call it that. But no, what we did was not the marriage act, and no babies will result from it."

Y/N looked distinctly relieved for a moment before looking puzzled again. "So, if we didn't participate in the marriage act, does that mean…am I still chaste?"

Dean didn't think chaste described her screaming release of an hour ago, but he didn't want to embarrass her, so he just nodded. "Yes, you remain a virgin. That's why I did it that way."

"There are other ways to do it?" The question seemed to pop out of Y/N's mouth before she could stop it because she clapped a hand over her mouth and ducked her head again. "I'm sorry, what a question to ask."

But Dean answered anyway. "Yes, there are many, many other ways of making love."

In spite of her fiery blush, Y/N asked, "Is that what you call it? Making love?"

"Well, there are a lot of other things it's called too, but that's one."

Y/N nodded and then grabbed hold of his hand.

"Dean, could you teach me about making love?" She must have been startled by the heat and desire he knew flooded his expression because she quickly amended her statement. "I mean, could you tell me about making love? I have no one else I could ever ask, and I'd like to know."

Dean had no idea what to say. He was quiet for a minute and Y/N shook her head. "I'm sorry, that's a horrible question to ask. I'm sorry."

"No, Y/N, don't be sorry. There's nothing to be sorry for, I just…" he paused for a moment, "…I've just never talked about it with a woman."

"So, you don't talk when you're making love." It was a statement and she sounded like she was taking notes.

"Well, I mean, yes, you talk, but not…" He shoved a hand through his hair. "…usually the conversation isn't so…it's just a different kind of talking."

Her expression was innocent and questioning and he cleared his throat, determined to answer the questions she had.

"Alright so, I don't know how well I'll be able to answer all your questions, but I'll try. Go ahead." He braced himself.

Only two bright patches of red showed in her cheeks when she asked again, "How are babies made?"

Dean took a deep breath. "Well, men have a…" he cleared his throat and started over. "Women have…" he raked his hand through his hair again. This was a very strange conversation to be having. He realized he needed more information.

"Y/N, what do you know? I mean do you know what a man looks like?" he asked. "I mean, the parts you don't usually see." He amended.

She gestured to his torso. "Just what's in front of me." She said, smiling shyly.

"So, you've never seen a naked man, not even in a painting? Or a sculpture?"

She looked away, and gave a small shrug. "There weren't a lot of paintings or sculptures like that at my school."

He grinned. "I guess not. But since you've been out of school?"

She looked at him again. "I haven't exactly gone looking for them."

He chuckled. "Fair enough."

Her face brightened. "Oh, I did see a painting of a naked cherub once."

Dean couldn't help it, he burst out laughing. She smiled and looked sheepish.

He shook his head. "I'm sorry, sweetheart, really. I just can't imagine many men would want a woman to believe they resembled a naked cherub."

She rewarded him with one of her adorable wide grins. "No, I imagine not." She reached up and ran a hand from his shoulder down to his elbow, her grin melting away into a look of hunger. "And I can't imagine anything that looks less like a cherub."

She studied his body for a moment and her gaze alone made his already hard cock feel close to bursting. She pulled her hand away and tucked the sheet more firmly around her. Dean tried to force his body under control.

"So," she said, trying to bring them back on track, "you were saying?"

"Right." He cleared his throat. It seemed very dry all of a sudden. "So, men have a…uh…a kind of…um…" He looked at her face, and came up with the best word he could to describe it. "They have a shaft."

Y/N's face was quizzical. He continued. "And women have…well, I mean you know what your own body looks like." Her face looked confused now. "I mean, you know what…I mean, surely you've looked at yourself."

Comprehension flooded her expression along with a lot of embarrassment. "No, of course not. I mean, not really." She was acutely embarrassed and she wouldn't look him in the eye. "I mean, of course I've never looked, it's…well, it's sinful!" She exclaimed, as though he was mad for not realizing that.

It made him very sad to hear her say such a thing and he took her chin in his hand to force her to focus on him. "Y/N, it's your own body. It is literally the body God created for you, how on earth could it be sinful to look at it?"

While she tried to absorb his words, he decided to just tell her straight. "So, men have a shaft and women have an opening into their body. It's the opening that babies come out of," he paused, "and I suppose the opening where they're put in as well. Men have a um…a seed that comes from their shaft and they put their shaft into the woman's body and plant their seed. A baby grows from there."

He wasn't sure that was the best explanation, especially because Y/N looked slightly horrified.

She opened and closed her mouth several times before managing to speak. "So, if I want a baby, I have to let a man stick a shaft into a hole in my body." Her face was scrunched up and full of disgust. He had to admit that when it was summed up that way it did not sound very pleasant. He decided that if he didn't want to leave her completely terrified he should clarify things a little.

"I know it sounds very…mechanical and cold, but it's not when it's happening." He moved closer to her on the bed and cupped her cheek. "It's just like earlier, when I touched you and tasted you, it's the same kind of heat." He bent his head and kissed her slow, and sweet. She responded immediately, trying to deepen the kiss. But he pulled away; he wasn't trying to start her desire up all over again. "See, not cold or mechanical."

She raised a hand to her mouth and shook her head, a little sadly he thought. "No, not cold." She smiled softly.

She looked into his eyes. "Can I…" she paused for a moment. "Could I see it? See you, I mean?"

His blood started pumping overtime and he shifted away from her again. "I don't know if that's a good idea."

Her face was suddenly flooded with red and she shook her head quickly. "No, of course not. I'm sorry, Dean. What a horrible thing to ask for, I'm…sorry…" she trailed off in embarrassment and Dean wanted to kick himself.

He grabbed her hand with both of his and brought it to his chest. "Please look at me." When she did, he continued, "You have nothing to apologize for, Y/N. When it is me and you, together like this, I promise you that there is nothing you could ask, nothing you could ask for, and nothing you could tell me that is wrong, or sinful, or terrible. The space between us here," he pressed his hand to the sheet that covered her chest before bringing his hand back to press against his own chest. "…this space is sacred. It's magic. There's nothing that can't be said."

She blushed but she nodded. "Alright."

Suddenly her expression became quizzical, and she was staring at his pants. "Why aren't you naked? You kept your pants on. You said not to hide, but you're hiding. Why?"

He sighed and chuckled lightly. He let go of her hand. "For the same reason I said that it wasn't a good idea for you to…look at me. Because I'm doing everything I can to control myself, and that might be too much."

"Control yourself?"

"It's better if I have a kind of barrier between me and you. My…um…shaft…" he shook his head over the absurdity of this conversation and the fact that it was making him so incredibly hard. "Let's just say it's very sensitive."

Y/N thought about his words for a moment. "So, you're still aching. You didn't…come apart, like me?"

Her expression was worried and she bit her bottom lip, a gesture that made him think his pants might not actually make much of a difference for very long.

"No, I didn't." He said succinctly.

"Well, that hardly seems fair."

He smiled a strained smile. "It's fine. I'm fine."

She frowned at him. "So, you don't…I see…you don't ache for me the way I ache for you. It's different? Like the difference between me kissing you and you kissing me? You don't need me to fix it for you?"

She looked sad and Dean swore softly. "Y/N, you have no idea how much I ache, how desperate I am to have you touch me, kiss me, fix me. But I'm trying to abide by your wishes. I'm trying to keep you a virgin, and there's only so much torment a man can take. If you look at me and touch me, I'm going to spill my seed, and I am trying to spare you that."

She looked like she was trying to work something out. "And if you spill your seed, I wouldn't be a virgin anymore and I might have a baby?"

He took a deep breath and swallowed. "No, only if I was inside you." With every word of this conversation, his pants felt tighter, and he felt closer to bursting.

Y/N shrugged. "Then why can't I help you feel better, the way you helped me?"

Dean tried to come up with an explanation, but all he could manage was to shake his head as his body screamed for release.

Y/N moved closer to him and reached for the button on his pants. He grabbed her wrist quickly to stop her. They sat like that a moment, before Y/N whispered. "Don't hide yourself from me."

Her words and the look of desire and heat that flooded her gaze tore down the last of Dean's control, and he sagged back against the pillows, dropping her wrist.

She shifted so that she was sitting on her knees beside him and reached for his top button again. She undid it and pulled down his pants and underwear at once. He lifted his hips to help her and soon his cock was springing free of the confinement that had tortured him for hours.

Y/N gasped and sat back on her heels. She stared with wide eyes before blurting. "That's supposed to fit inside me? It's too big!"

Dean groaned and laughed at the same time, so it sounded a little like he was coughing. "Damn, you do wonders for a man's confidence." He grinned at her wickedly. "But trust me, it fits."

She stared at him a while longer before leaning forward again and reaching to run her fingers through the line of hair on his stomach. Unlike the last time, he didn't stop her, allowing himself to revel in the sweet torment.

He watched her reach out her hand timidly and touch the head of his shaft with a fingertip. He sucked in a breath from the jolt of fire her touch brought. She pulled back, and looked into his face. "I'm sorry! Did that hurt?"

He shook his head and his voice was very strained. "No, but yes. Sorry that doesn't make sense."

But Y/N nodded and her smile was a little naughty. "Yes, it does. It might not have a couple of hours ago, but it does now. Do you want me to continue?" She seemed to be asking a question to which she already knew the answer.

Y/N looked at Dean, his face taut, his muscles tense, and she knew two things; this was the most beautiful man she would ever see, and she had the power to bring Dean the same kind of fiery torment and blissful release he'd given her.

She reached out to stroke him again.

His hands balled into fists and a guttural sound issued from his lips.

She leaned down and placed a kiss on the very tip of his shaft. His body shuddered and a tiny amount of liquid seeped from the end. She rubbed the liquid into his skin with her forefinger. "Is this your seed?" she asked, still interested in learning. Dean only grunted, but she took it as an affirmative.

She continued to run her fingers up and down the silky smooth skin that covered the ramrod hardness under her hand. Dean's breath came hard and fast. She was having fun exploring, placing a kiss here and there along the length. 

After a few minutes, Dean pushed himself up on his one elbow, moving so that he laid sideways. He took hold of Y/N's hand and showed her how to wrap it around his shaft and move it up and down. Gently at first, and harder and faster as the heat and fire in his gaze built and built. She knew he must be getting close because his body was bucking under her hand just as hers had, instinctively thrusting. The action made something primal in her begin to ache again.

Finally she saw white liquid begin to spurt out of his body before he rolled himself into the sheet and buried his ragged shout into the pillow.

As his body continued to spasm, she ran her hand up and down his hip and over his backside which was round and firm. After his breathing returned to something resembling normal, he rolled onto his back again and Y/N took the chance to lie down across his chest. Her sheet was long gone, but she didn't care. She simply allowed herself to enjoy the amazing feeling of Dean's warm, smooth skin against her own.

She laid her hands on top of each other in the middle of his chest and propped her chin on them, so she could see his face. His eyes were closed and his face was completely relaxed. She drank up the sight of him like this.

He opened his eyes and she stared, drowning in his mossy green eyes. It suddenly occurred to her that this may be one of the last times she would ever look into his magnificent eyes and she felt tears spring up.

Dean frowned and caught a tear on his thumb as it fell. "Hey, what is this?"

She shook her head and smiled slightly. "Oh, it's nothing. I just wish I hadn't waited so long to do this. We could have days. Now we have only hours." She looked at the clock on his bedside. "And not many of those. You're leaving in less than eight hours, and I have to leave your room very soon."

Dean stared at her for a long time before speaking. "Y/N, the last thing I want to do is upset you or make you angry again. But…" he hesitated and in his hesitation, Y/N knew what he was going to say. "Come with me."

Y/N wasn’t insulted this time, and she wasn’t angry, because she knew now how desperately she wanted to do it. She knew what he was really asking of her. He wasn't trying to defile her or make her into something dirty. He was asking her to come and spend the nights with him like this. And she'd spend time with him, letting his sharp, and occasionally silly humor fill her days, she'd go out to parties with him, let him spoil her with jewels and expensive things.

She wanted so badly to say yes. But into the beautiful pictures in her imagination came the blinding knowledge that she'd have to say goodbye to all her other dreams.

She'd never find a compatible husband, or live in a pretty, respectable little cottage, and she'd never have children. She would never allow children to live the shame of her choices. She knew just how it felt to be ostracized and stared at as though you were vermin. She could never put a child through that.

She sat up and pulled the sheet around her again, moving to the edge of the bed. "I'm sorry, Dean. I just can't."

He sighed. "Why not?"

She looked over her shoulder at him and decided she could give him the truth, plain and simple. "My mother was a kept woman, and I've spent my life trying not to repeat her mistakes, trying to pull myself as far away from her life as possible. I can't simply ignore a lifetime of dreams and hopes."

Dean looked like he wanted to argue and tried to start a sentence several times. But finally he sighed deeply and fell back onto the pillows.

"Fine. I understand."

Tears came again and Y/N knew she had to go now or she might never leave his bed. She got up and picked her nightgown up off the floor.

Dean sat up again. "Wait, why are you leaving now? We have at least another hour before you need to sneak back."

He grabbed her hand as her head emerged from her nightgown and it fell to cover her completely. "Don't go yet."

But she shook her head. "I can't Dean, I…" she swallowed. "If I'm ever going to leave, I have to leave now."

She pulled out his grasp and moved toward the door. Dean pulled his pants up over his hips and followed her. As she reached the door she turned back and smiled at him, tears still falling.

She reached up, placing her palm against his cheek. He took in a quick breath and raised his chin. She felt a muscle jumping in his jaw.

"Thank you, Dean."

He leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead.

"You're welcome, Y/N."

She took one long last look into his eyes before she ran out the door, terrified of what she was leaving behind with him.

Tag Lists:

Jensen RPF and Any/All Characters:

@lyarr24

@lacilou

@deans-spinster-witch

@globetrotter28

@suckitands33

@alwaystiredandconfused

@evznackles

@jackles010378

@impala67rollingthroughtown

@krazykelly

@candy-coated-misery0731

@envyaurora95

@spnwoman

@deans-baby-momma

@luvr4miya

@arcannaa

@viviwatchestv

@winharry

Dean Fics Only:

@roonthelittlespoon920

@slamminmine

@zepskies

@safiyas-world

@aylacavebear

Any/All Fics Regardless of Character or Fandom:

@kazsrm67

@slut-for-evans-stan

@sexyvixen7

@nancymcl

@hobby27

@waywardcheshire

Everything Incl. Fan Edits:

@k-slla

@leigh70

@eevvvaa

@kickingitwithkirk

@foxyjwls007

@notinthislife50

@roseblue373

@mishkatelwarriorgoddess

@avanatural

@mrsjenniferwinchester

@all-alone-he-turns-to-stone

@deangirl96

@stoneyggirl2

[chaggieslovechild]

so i rewatched dad beat dad today and i have a new "theory"

i think it's safe to say that alastor gets pissed off by lucifer (hate might be too much of a strong word) but why is that? I've seen some people theorize that has something to do with (if we assume correctly) lilith being the one who has him on a leash, but i actually thought... maybe he has that reaction because lucifer, or his relationship with charlie (or both) reminds him of his own dad

like we know that alastor notoriously gets along better with women rather then men, and viv said he is a momma's boy. she also said in a recent q&a with the cast that he gets pissed off by lucifer bc he's more powerful than him and that kinda makes sense but..... i wanna read more into it so I'm ignoring her saying

when lucifer gets to the hotel he immediately aggressively hugs charlie and alastor's eye twitches a little bit, i can't help but think that maybe it reminded him of being in charlie's place one day, having a relationship with a stranged father (to say the least). maybe he puts that frustrating feeling together with the fact that not only this is charlie's father, but also LUCIFER, king of hell, most powerful creature in all the realm. he could end alastor's ass with a snap of his fingers if he truly wanted but luckily for him, he is mostly chill just like charlie

so, alastor finds himself in a too familiar position that he doesn't like: having to be "inferior" to a man who is a father and a higher authority in one way or another. when lucifer asks about the bar they get into a bit of banter which ends by alastor literally saying "fuck you" to lucifer and charlie stepping in. which surprised a lot of fans for a good reason, 'cus so far we've only seen alastor as he presents himself mostly: a well-mannered gentleman. but it was so easy for lucifer to get under his skin in so little time, that perhaps he got taken over by anger - not a "I'm gonna slaughter everyone" anger, but a human anger of "I'm in a shit position and I can't do anything about it but I'm really angry about it". so that's why he just outright says fuck you to lucifer, it's not a "I don't care if you're the king of hell I'm not afraid of you fuck you", it's a "i know the type of father you are (because i had one similar) and it's a shit behavior so fuck you"

but lucifer doesn't get shaken by it, he pretty much has no reaction to it and that keeps alastor angry. he realizes that charlie and lucifer have a distant and complicated relationship, so he tries a different tactic: hey btw I'm closer to a father figure to your daughter then you actually are, and THAT gets under lucy's skin. when he gets into song, alastor just takes the opportunities to hijack it and keep pissing him off

there's also something else, that when lucy and charlie sings more then anything, everyone at the hotel is looking at them, including alastor and he looks... satisfied, to say the least. maybe not happy, but he definitely isn't angry or frustrated by the situation of charlie and lucifer making up. dare i say he almost looks proud, as in "yep my job here is done"

maybe he just wanted to piss lucifer off bc it reminded him of his own father, but he accidentally made him and charlie get on better terms and making up, and he's not entirely bothered by it. he accidentally made a good thing, but either he (1) doesn't realize it at the moment or (2) he just doesn't see it that way (maybe he thinks that lucy and charlie won't be in good terms for long or whatever)

and as of later in the episode, even in the series there isn't a lot more of this alastor and lucifer's relationship. in the last episode, when alastor shows up lastly to the group hug, we see two characters annoyed by his presence: husk and lucifer. so i think that alastor pulling the "I'm more of a father figure to charlie then you will ever be" card REALLY affected lucifer, he just isn't showing it off. yet at least.

the bit in the finale before the final fight, alastor says to niffty that "maybe he could get used to other's presence", or he gets entertained by it, something among these lines. i think maybe this is the first time that he verbally, consciously admits that maybe he likes the people in the hotel, but that little moment - at the beginning of more than anything, where he watches lucifer and charlie singing, that was actually the first time that he cared about someone in the hotel, it's just that neither him or anyone else realized it.

tl; dr: alastor "hates" lucifer bc it reminds him of his own dad and while trying to piss lucifer off he accidentally makes him and charlie make up and he's satisfied by that outcome but he doesn't realize it

[americaswritings]

My Tim & Lucy stories

The collection

* my personal faves

Safe place

Lucy realizes that she was wrong; Her safe place is not a place anymore, it's a person.

Trapped

It's Lucy's last day as Tim's rookie. But instead of spending it on the streets of LA fighting crime, they are trapped in an elevator together. This brings some unwanted memories back for Lucy.

Where the heart belongs

"You and I both know that there have been three people in our relationship from the beginning and I can't keep pretending to not notice that your heart belongs to someone else." (Rachel breaks up with Tim & Lucy is the one to read the message to him.)

Losing control

“I think Caleb- he-he put something into my drink”, she stuttered, and she heard Tim take a sharp inhale at the other end of the phone." (What if Lucy realized Caleb put something in her drink and called Tim for help?)

Dream a little dream of me

A familiar song is played at Angela & Wesley's wedding. Tim won’t let it break Lucy.

Found that person in you

Lucy tells Tim what happened with Chris. He finds out she hasn't just watched the video of herself in the barrel, but the body cam footage of her rescue too.

No place I would rather be *

"It's about Lucy. She uhm- she had a bad day. She's not coming out of her room anymore. I don't know what to do." He inhaled sharply, his eyes closing for a second as he swallowed. "I am on my way." (Lucy deals with the aftermath of watching the video, Tamara is worried & calls Tim.)

Can’t help falling in love (multiple chapters) *

Her gaze locked with his, brown met blue, and it was like a wave of calmness washed over her. He was studying her, his eyes fixed on hers, an intensity in them she had rarely seen from him.  Why wasn't he looking away? And when had she stopped thinking about the lyrics? (Lucy agreed to sing at Angela & Wesley's wedding and shares an intimate moment with Tim.)

Can Beauty come out of Ashes? *

“You should get cleaned up”, he told her softly, letting his hand fall back to his side as he realized the dirt he had tried to rub away wouldn’t come off. He wondered if she would ever not look beautiful to him. (Tim and Lucy share a moment after the explosion nearly took Lucy's life.)

The Reality of Losing you (multiple chapters)

“Can we talk about something else? About your engagement perhaps. Congratulations by the way.” Her words sounded more forced than delighted and Lucy bit her lip, willing herself to get her emotions under control. (Tim doesn’t directly clear up his proposal is a prank and Lucy has to face the reality that she might lose Tim.)

No regrets

Prompts: "I'm sorry I kissed you" & "I'm not with Ashley anymore"

Head in the Game

"Hey." His arm came up to her shoulder, a firm touch to bring her back to reality yet gentle enough to show her she was not in immediate danger. She startled at the gesture, her head snapping towards him, and he could see unshed tears in them. Shit. If Lucy cried right now, it was over. (Tim & Lucy find out that Rosalind escaped while being undercover together.)

Never Alone With You By My Side *

"Come on, you can't say you didn't enjoy it!" She was teasing, of course, but there was a strain on his face. "Could have been worse." "Wow!" Lucy grimaced mockingly. "Way to make a girl feel special, Bradford!" "You know how special you are." (Now that it's all over the apartment feels too empty. So Lucy calls Tim.)

When will this nightmare ever end?

"Lucy-", he began, but she shook her head. "Don't tell me it's all going to be okay, because it's not! Chris almost died, because Rosalind wants to get back at me. I can't- I-" She closed her eyes, exhaling. "When will this nightmare ever end?" (Lucy waits for Chris to wake up and Tim is by her side.)

I thought you never saw me that way

Prompt: “I thought you never saw me that way."

Some things matter more

“I only wanted space, because I thought that’s what we both needed. Time away from each other to think.” Lucy tilted her head, biting her lip. “And did it help?”, she asked, her voice wavering slightly. Tim closed his mouth again, his jaw twitching. “No.” (Prompt: “Some things matter more.")

Always find you

5x03: Lucy gets trapped. With her radio signal blocked, Tim is left with nothing but his imagination about what could have happened to her.

Where our story begins

“Vegas- it wasn’t just pretend. Not for me anyway and I...I think it wasn’t for you either.” (Prompt: "I can't be your aide anymore.”)

One Good Reason

"Then why are you pushing me away?", Lucy asked. "Don't you want-", she bit her lip. Their eyes met and she saw the question in his eyes, the need for her to finish that sentence. "Me." (Prompt: "Are you afraid to be with me?")

Healing

"It might take a while but eventually it will feel real", Tim told her, referring to her words as she had stared at Rosalind’s lifeless body. Lucy looked at him, a mixture of emotions flickering over her face. "It just- seems too easy." (Tim makes sure Lucy is okay after they found Rosalind’s body)

If Tomorrow never comes

When the nurse had left and Lucy met his gaze again, his brows were lifted. "Boyfriend?" "I said partner."  "If I recall correctly, I'm your superior", Tim pointed out. "No sign of amnesia then." (Tim asks Lucy to lay with him in the hospital bed)

Sick Days

Lucy gets sick, but goes into work anyway, because she's already taken a lot of sick days due to what happened with Caleb. Of course Tim notices.

[vickyvicarious]

A Jonathan-Lucy parallel, with Mina as the narrator in both because iirc you had asked for more! About how both Jonathan and Lucy are in a trance while seeing Dracula again, both Lucy and Jonathan needing to snap out of it, Mina in both times being disturbed at how both Lucy and Jonathan are talking to themselves rather than to Mina, and Mina in both instances choosing to not talk to them about it because of her agreeing with both to never speak of their trauma:

Lucy:

“His red eyes again! They are just the same.” It was such an odd expression, coming apropos of nothing, that it quite startled me. I slewed round a little, so as to see Lucy well without seeming to stare at her, and saw that she was in a half-dreamy state, with an odd look on her face that I could not quite make out; so I said nothing, but followed her eyes. She appeared to be looking over at our own seat, whereon was a dark figure seated alone. I was a little startled myself, for it seemed for an instant as if the stranger had great eyes like burning flames; ... I called Lucy’s attention to the peculiar effect, and she became herself with a start, but she looked sad all the same; it may have been that she was thinking of that terrible night up there. We never refer to it; so I said nothing, and we went home to dinner.

Jonathan:

I felt Jonathan clutch my arm so tight that he hurt me, and he said under his breath: “My God!” I am always anxious about Jonathan, for I fear that some nervous fit may upset him again; so I turned to him quickly, and asked him what it was that disturbed him. He was very pale, and his eyes seemed bulging out as, half in terror and half in amazement, he gazed at a tall, thin man, ... I asked Jonathan why he was disturbed, and he answered, evidently thinking that I knew as much about it as he did: “Do you see who it is?” His answer seemed to shock and thrill me, for it was said as if he did not know that it was to me, Mina, to whom he was speaking:— “It is the man himself!” The poor dear was evidently terrified at something—very greatly terrified ... He kept staring ... Jonathan kept looking after him, and said, as if to himself:— “I believe it is the Count, but he has grown young. My God, if this be so! Oh, my God! my God! If I only knew! if I only knew!” He was distressing himself so much that I feared to keep his mind on the subject by asking him any questions, so I remained silent. ... After a few minutes’ staring at nothing, Jonathan’s eyes closed, and he went quietly into a sleep, with his head on my shoulder. I thought it was the best thing for him, so did not disturb him. In about twenty minutes he woke up, and said to me quite cheerfully:—

Oooh, I love this! It really drives home how in a lot of ways Jonathan's condition must have reminded Mina horribly of Lucy.

She was better when Mina left Whitby but before then she had been suffering in her sleep and waking Mina often in the night, was often pale and tired, distressed but wouldn't talk about why...

Then she goes to get Jonathan and he too is pale and weak, easily worn out, deeply traumatized but cannot speak about why, suffers in his sleep from nightmares that wake Mina often in the night...

And then there is this moment, which in addition to echoing Lucy's distressed trance-like recollection of her 'nightmare', also perhaps reminds her of something else. The way Jonathan wakes and is abruptly quite cheerful, inviting Mina to tea - obviously the most direct parallel as readers is to Mina's own similar action after waking from her hypnotic trance today. But for Mina at the time when it happened, I can't help but think it might have reminded her of the way Lucy would sometimes wake the next morning full of energy and cheer after having a bad night (being drunk from). But this didn't really ever seem to last, and when something similar happens with Jonathan, Mina takes it as the final straw that he is not being helped by her ignorance and she needs to read his diary to know how best to aid him.

That's all from Mina's perspective. But there's also a neat contrast between these two moments of speech, a kind of bookending. Lucy can only talk about her experience after Dracula has just left town. His absence partially frees her from the influence that so fully ensured her silence, and even ignorance. Jonathan meanwhile had already escaped Dracula's sphere of influence and his own silence/ignorance was more self-imposed/natural vs supernatural. For him it is Dracula's arrival in town (or at least, near enough to be noticed) that momentarily breaks his silence and puts him back into that trance-like memory.

And yet while both of them speak in Mina's presence, it's mostly only at her. They are really talking to themselves, or to an imagined version of Mina who shares all their knowledge, and despite them speaking to her of their experiences, neither account is enough to clearly communicate anything. In fact they don't know fully themselves what they would be communicating, and it's not until other context is added that Mina can look back at these moments and know what they meant.

[eclipsedrawsthings]

5 fandoms, 5 ships!

Thanks for the tag, @edwardslostalchemy!

1. BNHA—Fuyukoto

Look, Fran basically already covered Tddk, and while they’re my OTP, this is the kayak I have built with my own two hands and I WILL get more people on board it if it’s the last thing I do. Have they met in canon? No! Do I still have shit to talk about? YOU FUCKING BET.

First off, they have the same goals for a relationship—on Fuyumi’s end, I think it’s pretty clear that what she wants is domestic stability. Makoto, meanwhile, has explicitly stated that her ideal partner is someone “ordinary”—someone down-to-earth and steady to balance out the glitz, glamour, and chaos of her professional life.

She’s also extremely assertive in a way that I think Fuyumi needs in her life—someone like Makoto backing her up would probably do her wonders. Plus, giving Endeavor a daughter-in-law who has blackmailed a pro hero and gotten away with it would simply be excellent.

Speaking of in-laws, this ship would also make Naomasa and Touya in-laws. This is objectively funny.

Come. Join me. Let’s create a future where I am not the only author to have written in this Ao3 tag.

2. Free!—Reigisa

I have such a soft spot for these silly little guys. You know that one post about being a sitcom b-plot character? These two are the fun little b-plot romance to Makoharu’s pining and drama. I love how ridiculously persistent Nagisa was in getting Rei to join the swim club, and I love the scene where Rei scoffs at the idea of him being affected by “something as illogical as love” like it didn’t WORK.

They’re hilarious, they’re adorable, they’re opposites attract, they’re absolutely whipped for each other. I love them.

Also, the water gun fight. The fact that Nagisa successfully ambushed Rei, then proceeded to walk into the trap he’d set earlier, was comedy gold.

3. Lego Monkie Kid—Dragonfruit

I was on the fence about this one until the Samhedi Fire scene. Look, I’ve spent five years and counting in the Tddk community—you give me fire and an “It’s your power!” and I’m gone.

To be clear, when I say “on the fence” I mean I was deciding whether or not I shipped them—they were luring me in, that just sealed the deal. I love the scene were Red returns Mei’s dragon plushie, I love their dynamic in general, and the fact that they were cuddling after the battle got me in the heart.

I’m not as deep in this particular fandom, so I’ll leave it at that—they’re cute, they got me in my weak spot, I like them!

4. Fairy Tail—Nalu

Is it even really a meet-cute if you don’t end up running from the cops?

These two actually hold the honor of being my first anime ship—Fairy Tail was my gateway anime, and Nalu was my first ship from it (thanks, Faun on both counts!)

I like how there’s hints that they could be a couple right off the bat, like Natsu’s arrival snapping Lucy out of the love spell when none of the other girls under it were affected, but that it isn’t fully a romantic subplot immediately. The focus is more on developing their friendship, and even though they’re not together by the end of the original manga, there’s not any question of why they WOULD fall for each other at some point in the future. Time and time again, they’ve saved each other, been there for each other, and just enjoyed each other’s company. I like a good friends-to-lovers, what can I say.

Also: THE FUCKING TREE. NATSU UPROOTED A GIANT RAINBOW CHERRY TREE AND FLOATED IT DOWN THE RIVER JUST SO LUCY COULD SEE IT. THAT’S REALLY FUCKING CUTE OKAY. Especially because, for those unfamiliar, he did in fact put the tree back afterwards.

And finally:

5. Superwomen in Love—Honey Trap and Rapid Rabbit

This is mostly an excuse to talk about this manga, because it is a LESBIAN SUPERHERO ROMCOM and more people need to read it.

Honey Trap, a villain, defeats Rapid Rabit, the heroine, in battle, gleefully removes the helmet of her costume… and is immediately smitten. As a result, she lets her get away, gets kicked out of her villain org, and ends up as Rabbit’s roommate, because Rabbit is the sweetest person in existence.

Fun superhero battles ensue as they try to take down the villain organization Honey used to be part of, while meanwhile Honey tries her hardest to get Rabbit to fall for her, and there’s a healthy dose of “and they were ROOMMATES,” which is always a fun time! Plus, one thing I specifically like about this manga is that the fact that they’re gay is a complete non-issue—the only “how can two women—?” of any kind is when Rabbit is (understandably I think) baffled by a different lesbian couple in the story having what’s essentially a biological daughter.

Superwomen in Love!!! Go read it, it’s fun!!!

Tagging @helpilostmygender, @snazzy-hats-and-adhd, @unreemarkable, @r4inwing-pride-parade, and @idkwatthehec! No pressure though!!!

[potterandpromises]

sorry for not winning you an arcade ring: chapter 9

Things do not go as rehearsed. [Chapter 1] [Chapter 2] [Chapter 3] [Chapter 4] [Chapter 5] [Chapter 6] [Chapter 7] [Chapter 8]

Also on AO3

(You know the deal by now: it's the same day as the last chapter but it's been several hours. We return to our heroes in the hallway outside of the restrooms of whatever venue this rehearsal is taking place in.)

"I'm just a tiny" —with a tense hand, Will signs 'tiny'— "bit worried about this wedding."

Theo nods in commiseration. The rehearsal's mostly been about who stands where when, and for him, establishing and memorizing visual cues. But it's also included things like designating a person (Lester) to call 911 in case of stabbings, shootings, poisonings, et cetera. Such things do not inspire confidence in the fake wedding investigative complex.

(If asked again, he'd agree in a heartbeat.)

Behind Will, Sazz Pataki saunters into the hallway, says something, and pauses next to the restrooms. "I'll tell you what— I've been the only thing standing between Charles and— injury. But— pressure, even for me—"

Theo rests his eyes, lets them wander down to Sazz' shoes.

His gaze snaps back to her lips. He feels, by reflex, a smile fix itself to his face.

She takes no notice.

Moments pass like eons. Eventually, her and Will quit their small talk, and she goes into the restroom.

Theo turns away, has to force himself not to break into a run.

-

"I'll be honest," Charles says into his phone, "I was kind of hoping it wouldn't get this far and that by this point, we'd already know who the killer is."

"Well we didn't get that lucky, did we Charles?" Oliver stands up and hastens to the front of the room.

He ushers Charles to sit down, and turns to address the table as if from a stage. "Even though I do run in the same circles as Linda Sharpton and Christopher W. H. Garnier, I simply haven't been able to spend the necessary time with all of our many, many suspects in order to deduce who our killer is."

Lucy yawns from behind her hands.

"At the rehearsal dinner for my son Will’s wedding, he let anyone and everyone take the proverbial microphone and make an impromptu speech. In the spirit of that gesture, anybody wanna come up here and take a stab at figuring out who the killer is? ‘Cause now’s the time where we’re supposed to fully explain our epic deduction skills live in front of the entire world."

Lucy lightly kicks Mabel under the table, whisper quotes: 'stab' with an exaggerated flare of her eyebrows.

But actually, at this point, it's as good an idea as any.

Howard stands up from his chair, resolute. "I have a theory."

He walks to the front of the room and proceeds to spout a theory so obviously based on a personal grudge that it provokes absolutely no reaction from anyone else in the room. He nods like he's made a point anyway, and steps away into the darkness.

(And they'd hoped this killer reveal party would look a little more professional then the last one.)

What if it doesn't work? Somehow, Mabel had never considered the idea. If they don't succeed tomorrow, her and Theo will be...not legally married, she's pretty sure they'd need to write their names on a certificate or something for that to be the case. But they wouldn't tell people it was all a hoex immediately, right? They'd need to solve the case first.

Or they'd just... never tell anyone, and fake a break up the way they're faking the relationship. That option should feel safer, more comfortable, but it doesn't.

Mabel sips her sparkling grape juice. This whole thing is starting to feel like objectively too much to ask.

Behind her, the door opens. She turns, sees Theo with a tense set frown. He walks briskly towards her, and trips.

He falls flat on his stomach.

Mabel stands. Simultaneously, Theo pulls himself onto his hands and knees, stares at their co-conspirators like a dear in headlights.

She helps him up. "You okay?"

He doesn't answer, doesn't let go of her hand, just looks past her at Sazz reentering the room.

She frowns, thinks 'concussion.' But, she's fairly certain he didn't hit his head.

He drops her hand, takes a step back, and scans the room, takes in the many pairs of eyes on him.

Jonathan clears his throat, resumes his conversation with Howard. "So, anyway..."

Theo puts on one of his fake, slightly awkward smiles, and looks down at Lucy still in her seat. His own seat had been on the other side of the table.

"I think—“

“Oh, yeah.” Lucy pulls her chair out. “I’ll leave you to it. Ursula brought some sort of new Gut Milk cookie, so I’ll just try one of those.”

She really hopes Lucy doesn’t think her and Theo are going to grope each other under the table. The evidence does not support that hope— Lucy was nowhere near as awkward with Theo when they first met.

Mabel sits down. With a nod of thanks, Theo takes Lucy's seat, and, oh, places his hand on her knee. Maybe...? No, she doesn’t think he would just do that. Then again, they don’t actually know each other that well. Or at least, they haven’t spent that much time together.

He removes his hand from her knee, gives her an extremely tight lipped smile, and signs something quickly, almost under the table.

Again, he rests his hand on her, a few inches higher this time, tentative.

At the front of the room, Sazz speaks. Something about protecting Charles with her life, something about knowing him all these years and believing he would never settle down for good because, wait, Sazz stole his girlfriend? twice? Mabel will have to ask about that later.

“Although he could never manage to keep a good woman, Charles has achieved something even better: living long enough to attend the wedding of a woman who’s like a daughter to him.” That’s actually sweat, if extremely backhanded. Mabel can’t quite focus on anything other then Theo’s hand on her thigh.

His fingers move, trace a pattern like a figure eight. Repeat.

Not a figure eight.

An S.

“I wrote that last minute,” Sazz says. “Was it a little hollow? It felt a little hollow to me. I’ll tighten it up.”

Without looking at him, Mabel places her hand over his, lets him know, hopefully, that she understands his intent.

His hand stills under hers. She pulls away.

A

Mabel stares forward, steadfast.

Z

Her breath hitches. No one notices.

Z

Sazz is walking away, heading for the alcoholic cookies. Mabel glances at Theo, urgent.

He doesn't look at her. His fingers drag quicker atop her dress skirt.

D-I-D —he taps the center of her thigh once— I-T.

Blankly, she looks around at too many faces, at eyes that still linger on them.

She gives Theo the slightest nod, and begins to plot.

[whoviancumberbunny]

Tentative Love

Used this Prompt  by @creativepromptsforwriting​ 

Rephrased this Prompt  by @promptsforthestrugglingauthor​

Title from This​ Prompt List  by @youneedsomeprompts​

​Tentative Lov

eScanlan Shorthalt and other Vox Characters created by Critical Role

 Story By Melissa C. Scraper @whoviancumberbunny​

 Lucy was still recovering from twisting her ankle it was hard to believe it had been six months since she met Vox machina actually her favorite member of the group was one no one took seriously “Scanlan, why are you checking my ankle? Where is Pike?”

 “she and vax are getting supplies.” he  climbs out from under her sheets “see promised I wouldn’t do anything weird.”  

“Explain not having your shirt on.” She laughed “You asked me why I hid that reward poster with my face on it.” She looks down and thinks back to the day she had to quickly escape from the place she had never felt right in to begin with. “My ankle knows I witnessed him killed six people.” She wasn’t ready to admit the six people were in fact most of their family. 

“My shirt clings to the sheets.” For the first time he gave her genuine gentle touch in her cheek and not just one that was prompted by being around the other members of the team. “You talk in your sleep sometimes.   You knew the people he killed.” 

 “He used my mother as a blood sacrifice.  Cut out her heart.” She absent-mindedly plays with the silver bell pendant she always wears “Even in information about her death the family lies about how old she was when I was born. She was always listed as four years older than she was. Daphne Rose Harridge Collins, my mother was only 16 when I was born. ”  she had wanted so hard to convince Quentin to cut off his contact with the family because the mansion had darkness. Even Lucy had been able to sense from an early age.  

“I noticed when your mind wanders you roll the silver bell pendant between your fingers. Where did it come from.”  

“It belonged to my mother. She gave it to me for birthday a few months before her death.”  She sighed “I can’t let him find me. Because I know his intention is to kill me too.”  

“If he finds you I will protect you, I promise.” She noticed he had been omitting the phrase as friend for the last few weeks. Was it possible the sweet male gnome only allowed himself to be real when his friends weren’t around “Scanlan? First thing put your shirt back on and 2nd thing will you play your mandolin for me?” she said with a smile, a few moments later he was standing next to her bed playing a melody as the images of butterflies floated near the ceiling  “I..” she wasn’t sure how to tell she felt because she felt like loving him was putting him danger because Gabriel was the only person in her life she had ever been afraid of.  

 “no need to speak.” He took her hand “you are still wearing the woven bracelet I made for you.” During a battle the original strap to his mandolin had snapped and Lucy had spent three days making him a new one. At the same time he had taken the scraps of the old one and managed to fashion them into a bracelet and given it to her 

“You made it for me. Why would I not wear it.” He gently brushed her dark brown hair out of her eyes.  “You asked why I flinch when Vax and Pike call me Lulu. My cousins called me we were supposed to go horseback riding the day before…” Suddenly it dawned on Scanlan. She wanted to tell him but she was afraid to you “Lucy… are the six people he killed the other people in your family?”  as soon as he asked she started crying and he climbed onto her bed and let her rest her head against his shoulder. She had been holding it in so long.  After she finished crying she reached into her beag nd pulled out small book

 “are you sure?” 

“It is easier to just let you read everything I remember than it is to have to say everything.”  By the time other members of vox machina returned.   

“You just rest and I will bring you something to eat later.” He hand the journal back to her. The full descriptions of the deaths of her family had taken up ten pages in her journal.  After she placed her head on the pillow he gently kissed her forehead. “Your name means light and you feel like a light in my life.” He whispered  

“why the sad look Scanlan. Did Lucy reject you again?”  Vax said as  Scanlan went outside for air. “I wish I could make her past pains go away.” He said to himself as he looked at the sky. Somewhere out there was man who had killed his own family because he wanted everything. He knew Lucy didn’t think she was strong enough to fight him. But live everyone else in the house she carried emotional damage. Kamjiori had been right he had given up looking for love and it found him.    

A few weeks later…Scanlan uses Scanlan’s hand to carry Lucy outside. “This feels so weird Scanlan.”   “you need fresh air and this was the only way I could think of to make you smile.”  He had a  picnic set up under the big tree nears the keep “it is not much. All I am good at is making sandwiches. Tiny hands.”  The giant purple hand carefully placed her on the ground and he sat next to her “I can’t get the images from your journal out of my head. But it must be worse for you because you were there.” 

  Lucy “Scanlan, I would rather not talk about that right now lets just enjoy the fresh air.”  She takes napkin and wipes mustard off his cheek. “I am always showed when see you eating a sandwich bigger than your head.”   

“Did you ever have anyone trying to court you?” 

 “The money they were courting my name not me. I was never person to them. I was means to an end. The only person I ever came close to caring about was sent away to battle ogres because he wasn’t right kind of person to be marrying an heiress. Before that night I had been wanting to leave anyway. Because I wanted to make my own choices and not have them made for me.” 

Vax “we were checking the notice board in town and found this.” He said holding up the notice for reward for information on Lucero Angelique Collins 

 “there is difference between missing and not wanting to be found. ”   she sighed as vax just stared at her “Fine. About two years he made another failed attempt at murdering me.” She knew they wondered why she always wore high collars. She unbuttoned her collar a scar from knife being dragged along her neck “he paid bounty hunters to take me back and at the family dinner to celebrate my 18th birthday, I knew he was trying to poison me.” Scanlan looked over at Lucy and she was starting to shake “Vax’ildan. With all due respect my friend.  If you don’t go inside now I may have to punch you.” He stands between Lucy and Vax. “Leave us alone.” He may not have known her for very long but he could tell she about to break. “it is okay, Lucy. How many times?”  “Four that I  can remember. His goal was to keep me from turning 18. Because he knew his grandfather’s will stated I would inherit third of everything if I lived past 18.” The tears started rolling down her cheek he wiped his hands on his pants and gently caressed her cheek “I love you. I don’t know if you can accept my love. But I promise to my best to protect you.” 

Inside Vex slaps her brother “You made her feel like criminal, brother. You know very well that wanted posters don’t always mean the person is a criminal.” 

Outside he tells her the story of how he distracted the people at dinner party while the others fought the Briarwoods “Really your codpiece created rainbows?” she laughed  “True.” He sits down on her lap “tell me something are you always sitting so you are not taller than I am when we are talking?”  she feeds him a grape  “most people treat gnomes like lesser beings because we are shorter.” 

Lucy blushes “It is easier to talk to you when I can look into your eyes. They’re so beautiful  and soulful. Can see love in them like I did with Galen.”  

“Is that the name of the guy you mentioned, that your father sent away?”    “Yes. He was the son of the horse master. whenever father was having business meetings I would go out to the stables.   Being there was the only time I didn’t feel like I was just being treated like the daughter of master of the house.” She looks into his eyes    “

I hope I can be to you what he was. Someone you can just be yourself around.”  Scanlan said as he pulled her hands from her collar “Stop hiding your scars.  They are trophy that you lived when someone has been trying to destroy you.” He gently traced his fingers along her scars.  Then he placed his hand on her cheek and gently kissed her on the lips  “I have been wanting to do that for a while.” 

 “No need to sound so apologetic.  Scanlan Shorthalt. It was the hidden part of you I was drawn to. The way you act when no one can see you.” She said “why do you think you are the only one I never ask to leave when I wake up with anyone staring at me.” He stood up and helped her to her feet and as they walked,  he mindlessly strummed his mandolin.  “That is a nice melody. does it have name?”

 “Not yet.” In fact he was trying to write song for her, but he couldn’t think of the right words to go with the melody.   They hear a carriage go through the woods,  they duck behind the bushes. “He’s kind of gross looking.” 

“Gabriel found Whitestone. See the tall one with the greying hair and slight limp. That is Gabriel.”  

“he kind of reminds me of dark wizard I ran into once. Before I met Vox Machina.” He looks at her “that was about ten years ago in secluded forest.” He pauses and thinks back “I remember he had two children tied in cage.”  

“You are the one who tried to help me and Eli?”  She hadn’t been able to make his face out because it had been way after dark and only light was coming from the fire.  “You’re the little girl in the cage?” he looked at her “I couldn’t help you then but I am here for you now. We should get back to the keep.” When they return they explain what happened  

“Lucy, I am sorry for earlier.” Vax offers his hand “Forgive me?” she hugs him “I guess that means you are not mad.” 

“Gabriel Alexander Collins is the only person I have ever been afraid of.”  She describes each time she recalls him attempting to kill her “If Eli hadn’t pushed me behind the secret panel of the mansion. That night I would be dead now.” She had spent almost year running from him “I am not a fighter. I can see spirits.”  She could see the tether connecting Vax to The matron of ravens.

 Vax’Ildan after they came up with battle plan “Lucy can we speak in private.” They go into another room “you’ve seen the matron of ravens. The goddess of death.”  He paused “there is not good way to phrase this.” 

 “I can see the ribbon of spirit energy that connects you to the matron of ravens.  It shimmers golden.”  She looked at him “It is your soul.  You may be the one who serves her but  your soul is still yours.”  She places her hand on his chest. “What does your middle name mean? I have heard scanlan trying to write songs I know your first name means Light.” 

 “Little Angel. It was the name of my grandmother’s sister. She killed herself after her lover married another woman.”

  “You are an unusual person.” He smiled “in vasselheim we met man named Galen. When he heard about the deaths in your family stepped away from his post and mumbled. I hope that means she lived.” 

“I thought Galen was killed. Thank you , Vax.” After Lucy left the room

 “How long have you been standing there, Sister?” 

Vex “long enough.“ she looked at him “We did speak to him unfortunately a few hours later Galen along with most of the village were killed.” He looked at through the open door “Lucy has spent her whole life pretending she is not special.   Pike and Kiki can see it.  She has spent so much of her life around death that all she could do was fight to not lose herself in the darkness.  Think back to history lessons   before we left home there was a man named collins who was robber baron who killed his wife when he found her in the arms of his attorney.”

 A week later just outside of town to minimize collateral damage, Gabriel stands glaring at his niece "I haven't seen you in quite some time now." he said in a tone similar to snake “are these people as weak as you are.”

 Lucy stands in front of most of Vox with Scanlan standing next to her “Well, I was busy avoiding you. But my luck obviously ran out." There was, in theory, an art to these things...but they didn't quite have the eye or the patience for such a thing.  The young woman knew the members of Vox Machina well enough battle plans were only suggestions

 “Even with bunch of people around you are still not worthy of existence Lucero.” Gabriel muttered. “I still don’t know why my sons insisted on sacrificing themselves to protect you.”  

She flinched away from his words. ”You killed Eli last because you knew.  Three years before I was born my father slept with your wife and Eli was my brother.” She ducks as kiki and vex attack Gabriel.  It was vaguely apparent that he was no longer human.  Scanlan catches her  “Be careful you don’t want to twist your ankle again. What do you see?”  “His aura is black. I don’t think my uncle has been fully human for a long time.” She replied “Thanks Scanlan.”  Whispers in his ear “You better take me on that date you promised after this and not to a skeevy tavern.” 

When she moves out of the way Trinket shields her from direct attack by one of Gabriel’s  minions. “Thanks trinket next time I make something for dinner I am giving you nice piece of fish.”

 After two hours of fighting  those working for Gabriel have either ran away crying or fainted. Scanlan summons mythcarver “I know Lucy doesn’t want you dead but she also wants you some place where you can’t hurt her or any of our friends.”  Grog bonks Gabriel on the head knocks him out “He is stubborn asshole. “ he goes over to where lucy is sitting and kisses her “as long as you are with us you are safe.” 

 She looks at the others “Do you really think of me as your friend?”  

Percy helps her  to her feet “Of Course we do Lucy we wouldn’t have agreed to help you if we didn’t. Did I hear you correctly? You have a brother amongst the dead at Collins mansion.”  

“He’s buried in shallow grave In the basement, along with my parents and my cousins.  By my estimation there are least 8 people buried in shallow graves in the basement.” She looks down “I want them to be at peace. Their souls are trapped in the house. It was my grandmother’s spirit that told me to run and save myself.” “You can see auras?”   “Spirits. In the living your spirit creates your energy field  it manifests as spirits being trapped in the place they died.” She looked at vax ”He was the first one I told. I wasn’t sure anyone would believe me.  I have had this ability since I was seven.” 

After they return to whitestone “If it is not too much to ask. Will you all come with me to make sure my family gets formal burials.   I donlt want to go back to my hometown alone.  I have spent almost two years running from it.” 

Pike “Of course we will. You were the youngest in family of mostly men.” 

 Scanlan sits next to her “Is what you yelled at Gabriel true?”  

“Eli was my brother.  You remind me, of my father, Scanlan.  He was never sure how to show love.  but I remember whenever I didn’t feel well or couldn’t sleep he would play the piano for me.” She takes out her journal and shows them a sketch of her family.   That Eli drew a few months before their deaths “Eli drew this. That’s the reason he’s not in it.”

“You’re obviously the one In the middle of the front row. So the one with the forlorn expression on her face.”  Percy said “Daphne Rose Harridge Collins.”   “She is my mother.”  

“is this why you flinch when any of us call you Lulu. I noticed Eli drew a rose and for Lulu-bell . under it “ pike said handing it back to her “everyone except Gabriel called me lulu bell. It was the last thing he said to me before he pushed me into the secret passage. No matter what, Lulu bell run as far from here as possible and never look back. I had been on my own for about five months the day I collapsed outside the tavern you were thrown out of.”

Scanlan places his hand on her cheek “We can make a future together.”  Later that evening after everyone dispersed “Do I have your permission to stay on your bed tonight.”  

“No touching below the waist. Unless you’re massaging my feet. “ when he sits on her lap she whispers in his ear  just barely audible.  “I love you, Scanlan Shorthalt.”  She runs her fingers through his ponytail  

To Be Continued….

Tuesday, January 31st, 2023     

[teleiapotami]

(SFW) Excerpt from The Last Time Ch. 6

*This chapter is NSFW. If you don't like adult scenes, feel free to skip this one. There is no story advances in this chapter*

Following Natsu's confession of love, the two spend the night exploring each other. The next morning is spent lazily together, enjoying their new activities.

Lucy stood slowly and stretched before grabbing one of their discarded shirts and pulling it on to cover her nudity. Pulling a pair of panties on, she made her way into the kitchen and filled the kettle, still enjoying her memories. As she turned on the stove, a bright golden light flashed from her bedroom and Lucy cursed under her breath.

A moment later her most intrusive spirit stepped into view, running a hand through his messy orange hair. “Lucy, Natsu is naked in your bed.”

She rested her elbows on the counter and buried her face in her hands. “Good morning Loke,” she said tiredly.

“Why is there a naked dragon slayer in your bed?” His eyes narrowed as he looked her over. Lucy turned to him and glared.

“What do you want, Loke?” she asked with a hint of irritation.

He ignored her question, crossing his arms over his chest. “I came to see if you need help with work today. Lucy, why are wearing nothing but the naked dragon’s shirt?”

Lucy rolled her eyes and returned to making tea and pulling out ingredients for breakfast. “Did you wake him up?” Loke came to stand beside her, leaning against the counter and staring at her with an inscrutable look. He shook his head after a moment. “Good. Then you can help me make breakfast and I will tell you about it.” Loke made a sound of annoyance but took off his suit jacket and began unbuttoning his sleeves and rolling them up.

As she cracked eggs into a large bowl for him, she recounted the tale of Natsu’s return and a very simplified version of their conversation. Loke listened silently as he assisted her in cooking but cut his eyes to the side when she finished.

“None of that answers why you are only wearing the naked dragon’s shirt.”

“Would you move on? What’s wrong, are you jealous?” she teased lightly. Loke set aside the pan and turned to her, his face serious.

“No…. I just don’t want you getting hurt all over again, Princess,” he sighed. Lucy smiled and patted his arm. Despite Loke’s tendency to overstep boundaries of privacy and personal space, he really did care for her deeply. All of her spirits did, and it always made her heart swell when she thought about it. She let out a soft squeak as she was pulled into Loke’s arms for a hug.

“Loke….You’re burning the eggs,” she mumbled against his chest. She felt his head lift and he seemed to be looking at something behind her that made his arms tighten around her. She squirmed, trying to work her way out.

“Let her go, lover boy.” Lucy stilled at the sound of Natsu’s rough voice. His words were light, but his tone was controlled and had an edge to it.

“To you?” Loke challenged, drawing a long growl from Natsu. Lucy shoved against him. “Stop that right now, both of you. Loke, let me go or I’ll call Aries.”

Loke snickered. “You don’t have your keys, Princess.” Even so, he released her and stepped away, hands raised in surrender as he turned back to the stove. Lucy clicked her tongue in annoyance and crossed the room to stomp back into her bedroom.

She opened her dresser and grabbed a skirt and shirt. Natsu followed her into the room and watched her. “Why is he here?”

“You know very well that I can’t keep him from showing up when and where he wants,” she snapped, her voice sharp with irritation. She pulled his shirt over her head and threw it at him. He caught it with a grin and watched her with a longing look on his face. His hand twitched and he started to reach for her bare skin.

“You keep your hands to yourself Natsu. Loke already thinks things went a lot farther than they did. I don’t need you in here making it worse while he’s out there listening.” She pulled on her skirt and glared at him.

Natsu smiled with false innocence, then stroked her cheek gently. “He thinks? You didn’t tell him?”

“Of course not! He just showed up and found you naked in my bed and me wearing nothing but your shirt and my underwear. He jumped to conclusions and I’m not in the mood to deal with it.” She started toward the kitchen again, but Natsu caught her hand.

“Wait, please.” She looked back at him. “I’m sorry. I’ll behave, I promise. Just let me kiss you before we go back out there.” He pouted dramatically at her, and she failed to stifle her giggle.

“Fine, but you had better keep that growling under control. No jealousy around Loke of all people. You know he just wants to get a rise out of you.” He nodded and bent his head to hers for a sweet kiss.

“Breakfast is ready Princess,” Loke called out from the kitchen. When the two of them returned to the kitchen, the table was set with food and Loke was gone. “Solves that problem,” Natsu growled happily, attacking the food.

Find the whole story and more of my work on AO3!

[cassandraclare]

The Whispering Room: James’ POV

Here it is finally — James’ POV of the Whispering Room scene from Chain of Gold. I wanted to wait until Chain of Iron was released to give more people a chance to read the book, and also because what we learn in COI does inform the scene. I hope you enjoy!

*art by Cassandra Jean

Cortana wove with her words, underlining each one with steel. She turned as her sword turned, and her body curved and moved like water or fire, like a river under an infinity of stars. It was beautiful—she was beautiful, but it was not a distant beauty. It was a beauty that lived and breathed and reached out with its hands to crush James’s chest and make him breathless. — Chain of Gold

James had felt a strange emotion when Daisy first took the stage at the Hell Ruelle. It was a mix of several feelings...

worry on her behalf, annoyance at Kellington, curiosity, and admiration for her bravery and poise. It was unfair of these Bohemians to force her to caper for them, and, he thought, a bit insulting to Shadowhunters in general. He supposed that Matthew had given them a rather unusual view of what the Nephilim were like in such circumstances.

And then she had begun to dance. And suddenly she was not Daisy, his old friend. She was Cordelia, whose name meant heart, whose every gesture was fire. Every earthly worry he’d had had been swept out of his mind. He was conscious only of Cordelia, whirling back and forth across the small stage. Cortana danced around her, shedding light like embers. The dull glow of the lamps illuminated her body, describing her every movement, her every curve as she danced. Her scarlet hair whipped around her in time to the music, and the golden light of the lamps in the Ruelle slipped across her skin, slow and hot, like beads of honey. The cadences of her voice, rising and falling, seemed to weave a cage of silken thread about her audience, and James was no exception.

Later, James would think it was odd that he had not compared her to Grace. Grace had never entered his mind at all. Cordelia danced, and by the end of her performance, James’s entire life had been disassembled and put back together in a new and different shape. He was conscious of Matthew, beside him, also staring as the crowd cheered, his sharp cheekbones flushed. He looked dazed; James couldn’t blame him.

Cordelia descended the stage and slipped through the crowd to come back to them, blushing at the looks and murmured comments she was drawing from the audience now. James could see the desire in the eyes that followed her. Everyone wanted her. He felt a dull fury. They had no right. They did not know Cordelia. She was more than just that dance.

When she reached them she let out a long breath of relief and smiled. She glowed with the exercise of dancing. Sweat beaded along her collarbones, shimmered between her breasts. Her eyes were bright as Cortana’s blade, strapped to her back.

“Bloody hell,” Matthew exclaimed.  “What was that?”

A look of uncertainty crossed Cordelia’s face. James said, “It was a fairy tale, Math,” and Matthew nodded. His dark green eyes searched Cordelia’s face, as if looking for the key to a locked room he had only just discovered.

Cordelia looked uncertain. James couldn’t bear that. She’d been magnificent; she should know it. But he couldn’t say that, of course. It would only make her self-conscious.

“Well done, Cordelia,” James said instead; when he unfolded his arms; his wrist hurt and he wondered if he’d been clenching his hands.

Cordelia. He hadn’t called her Daisy, and she looked a little surprised. It seemed inappropriate, somehow. Daisy was Lucie’s friend, the Merry Thieves’ compatriot; he found it a smaller name than she deserved. Cordelia, though—she had been a queen, hadn’t she? Queen Cordelia, daughter of Leir, ruler of Britain before the Romans had ever landed on those shores. Like Boadicea, a legendary warrior queen. A blazing white fire behind fathomless black eyes.

“Anna has disappeared with Hypatia,” James said, noting the empty settee, “so I would call your distraction a success.”

Cordelia’s lips twitched into a smile. “How long does a seduction usually last?”

“Depends if you do it properly,” Matthew said, with a wink. James felt it as a spark of relief, a bit of lightness amid the feeling that something heavy was sitting on his chest.

“Well, I hope for Hypatia’s sake Anna does it properly,” James said. He registered, with the reflexes of a parabatai, that Matthew had gone still next to him, and wondered what was wrong. “Yet for our sake, I hope she hurries it up.”

All hint of Matthew’s jocular tone from before was gone. “Both of you,” he said urgently. “Listen.”

Did he mean all the muttering about Shadowhunters? Was he only noticing it now? It had followed them since they came into the place. But when James followed Matthew’s gaze, he found Kellington staring with an expression of vexation, not at them but at the door. All questions were answered as through the door came Charles Fairchild, looking around him with a haughty expression. He looked like was about to raid the place; so much for whatever work Matthew and Anna had done for Downworlder-Shadowhunter relations here.

Matthew narrowed his eyes. “Charles,” he sighed. “By the Angel, what is he doing here?”

Charles was, James thought, probably looking for them. He was making his way through the crowd and gazing around him. Luckily for them, the crowd was not interested in letting him through, and he was moving very slowly.

“We should go,” James said. “But we can’t leave Anna.”

In one way, at least, Charles’s arrival was helpful; it threw a bucket of cold water on the roiling heat that had gripped James’s heart since Cordelia had begun her dance. Back to the matter at hand: a demon, a Pyxis, a plan.

“You two run and hide yourselves,” Matthew said, still keeping his eyes on his brother. “Charles will go off his head if he sees you here.”

“But what about you?” said Cordelia.

Matthew shrugged, but James could see the tension in his jaw and his shoulders. “He’s used to this kind of thing from me. I’ll deal with Charles.”

Not for the first time, James wished that his parabatai wasn’t in such a hurry to sacrifice his own reputation. He exchanged a long look with Matthew, but Matthew was sure, and determined, and his desire to rush into his own humiliation was an issue that would have to wait. Nodding, he turned and caught Cordelia’s hand with his own. “This way,” he said, and she nodded back in acknowledgement. As he pulled them into the crowd he heard Matthew’s voice calling, “Charles!” in a hearty tone of pleasant, if entirely false, welcome.

James didn’t know his way around the place, and the crowd made orientating himself even more difficult, but after some trial and error he and Cordelia managed to get behind Kellington and slip into a corridor leading away. This wasn’t safe in itself, since from the main chamber one would have a clear view down the entire corridor. In fact, they were temporarily more exposed than before, and James’s hope for the hallway to take a quick turn or to contain large statuary to hide behind was quickly dashed. He continued to hold onto Cordelia’s hand, not that he needed to; she seemed to know her way better than he did.

Partway down the corridor, James caught sight of an open door — its silver plaque labeling it the entrance to THE WHISPERING ROOM. Swiftly he drew Cordelia inside, out of sight. He slammed the door behind them, causing a loud noise, but he thought it couldn’t possibly be heard over the crowd in the main chamber. Only then did he release Cordelia’s hand and take stock of their surroundings.

The room was dimly lit, but not cold: a scented fire burned in the grate, filling the space with the smell of sandalwood and roses. It was a study, he guessed, based on the gigantic walnut desk against the wall and the bookshelves opposite, but it was too richly decorated to be solely a place for studious contemplation. Phoenix feathers and dragon scales danced across the gilded wallpaper; there were no windows, but the walls were hung with patterned tapestries, the floor covered with a rug so thick James felt his boots sink into it as he moved further into the room.

Cordelia had leaned her back against the wall next to the door. Her eyes were closed and she was taking deep, full breaths, calming herself down. Cortana gleamed gold over her shoulder; the firelight gleamed a deeper gold on her skin, which seemed to take and hold its warmth. James curled his fingers in against his palm.

He wanted to touch her. He half-turned away, pretending to study the books on the wall. Any other time, he would have been fascinated by the titles. Now they seemed distant, neither immediate nor imporant. He could have sworn he heard his own heart hammering. He said, “Where did you learn to dance like that?” surprising himself with the roughness of his own voice.

His gaze snapped back to Cordelia as she opened her eyes and gave a little shrug. There was something magical about the dress she wore: it followed the shape of her own body rather than the shape of corsetry or whalebone petticoats. It slid softly against her skin as she moved, just as her dark red hair tickled the bare skin of her throat, her shoulders. “I had a dance instructor in Paris. My mother believed that learning to dance aided in learning grace in battle.”

The word grace pierced James like an icicle. He could not quite picture Grace at the moment, it was true; could not quite envision her face. He had given Grace his heart — that was an immutable fact, something he knew as he knew that two plus two equaled four. But he had to admit that at the moment his heart did not feel given. It felt like a thrumming machine inside his chest, pumping blood and heat.

“That dance,” Cordelia added with a quirk of her soft mouth that struck James like a blow to the stomach, “was forbidden to be taught to unmarried ladies. But my dance instructor did not care.”

“Well,” James said, keeping his voice steady with practiced control, “thank the Angel you were there. Matthew and I could certainly not have pulled off that dance on our own.”

Cordelia turned away from him, the smile still on her face, as though she were keeping it secret from him. She trailed her hand along the top of Hypatia’s desk. At one end was a stack of papers held down by a large copper bowl of fruit, and she brought her hand up to trace its rim.

James may have been distracted beyond the capacity for distraction he’d known before, but he was still a Shadowhunter. “Be careful,” he said warningly. “I suspect that is faerie fruit. It has no effect on warlocks—no magical effect, at least. But on humans…”

Cordelia pulled her hand back as though stung. “Surely it does not harm you if you do not eat it.”

“Oh, it does not. But I have met those who have tasted it. The say the more you have of it, the more you want, and the more you ache when you can…have no more.”

Cordelia was looking at him now, and though it took a great summoning of courage, he returned her gaze. In her dark eyes the silver and blue flames of the fireplace danced. James could not catch his breath. He had never felt this before, this breathlessness. It was like pain, but with a sweet, sharp edge. Like licking honey from a knife. He said, in a low voice, “And yet. I have always thought…is not knowing what it tastes like just another form of torture? The torture of wondering?”

The door shook on his hinges suddenly, making a clatter that made both he and Cordelia jerk their heads around to look at it. The knob was starting to turn.

Cordelia paled. “We’re not meant to be in here —“

James’s world closed down to just this: Cordelia was here, she was with him, and she looked frightened. He would do anything to stop that look on her face. He caught her in his arms, and the relief was incredible — he had not realized how much he wanted to be touching her until he was. Until he was holding her, and her strength and warmth and softness were all pressed against him, and her face was so beautiful it hurt, and her lips were parted in surprise and without another thought he kissed them.

He could feel her sharp intake of breath with his hands, clasped together at her lower back. She gasped, but did not draw back, or away — he thought he would have died if she had — she leaned into him, her full lips opening under his. She was kissing him back. He tasted honey, smelled jasmine and smoke. His hand slid up her warm cheek and into the soft fall of her hair.

Time stopped.

Cordelia’s arms were around his neck. Her lush mouth opened a little against his, and the kiss deepened. He moved his hand to the back of her neck to bring her closer. Her teeth grazed his lower lip, and he couldn’t help it; he moaned, and felt her tremble against him.

Very far away, a voice chuckled and the door closed with a soft click. This whole thing had been intended as a ruse, he knew, for the benefit of whomever was trying to get into the Whispering Room. Probably some Ruelle attendees, Downworlders most likely, who had snuck off for a rendez-vous.

Ruse accomplished, then. With intense regret, James drew back from Cordelia. Her hand, warm and soft and wonderful, was against his neck; her fingers stroked his pale white scar. Her eyes were fixed at the level of his shoulder. He could hear himself say her name — Daisy, my Daisy — instead of responding, she whispered, “I think more people are coming.”

He knew it wasn’t true. He didn’t care. He knew what she was saying: that she was asking and giving permission at once. All James’ life, he had struggled for control: control over his sudden falls into shadow, control over the dark world he could see, that was invisible to everyone else. He had worked and fought and trained for control every day, and for the first time in as long as he could remember it deserted him.

The walls he had put up burned to the ground in an instant as he caught Cordelia to him. He groaned against her mouth, his hands slipping over the silk of her dress, the hot satin of her skin. He undid the strap that held Cortana, got rid of it somehow — carefully, he hoped — and let himself fall back into delirium.

He did not ask himself why he had never felt desire like this before. He could not. He was lost in the feel of her, the incline of her waist, the flare of her hips, the rise and fall of her chest as she gasped. They were kissing wildly, uncontrolled; they fetched up against the desk, Cordelia’s back to it.

Her body bent backward in an impossible arch, her hands going behind her to brace herself. Her eyes half-closed, her head fell back, revealing the bare column of her throat. He pressed his lips there, eliciting a gasp of surprised pleasure.

His hands trailed up the sleek material of her dress — he could feel the heat of her skin through it — from her waist to the neckline of her gown. His palms followed her curves until the tips of his fingers were pressing into the bare bronze skin just above the neckline of her dress. She was sleek and soft and hot all at the same time, like nothing else he’d ever touched. He heard her whimper; she was saying his name, and his heart beat in time with her words: James, James, Jamie please.

The please undid him; shrugging off his frock coat, he caught hold of her around the waist, lifting her until she was perched on the edge of the desk. The material of her dress bunched around her knees, her thighs, as she took hold of his shirt by the starched front and kissed him. His mouth drove against hers, hot and demanding, even as he clambered onto the desk after her. She reached up her arms for him and he sank down on top of her, bracing his weight with a hand above her head.

He paused, just for a moment, looking down at her. Her scarlet hair fanned out across the desk, her eyes glazed, her full lips red from kissing. He was cradled by her body, her legs on either side of his hips, her skirt rucked up nearly to her waist. She wrapped her long, bare legs around him and he shuddered. What was in him, what he wanted, was inchoate but insistant, a force he’d never known. A yearning like hot wires in his blood, the pain-pleasurable ache of unbearable wanting that drove him to kiss her again, kiss her harder. She tangled her hands in his hair, pulling at it as he kissed her breasts, flicking his tongue over the sensitive skin until she gave a low scream and clutched at him with desperate hands.

He sank down against her and kissed her, hot and deep and hard. She arched into the kiss, her breath coming in gasps. He felt her through the thinner material of his shirt: the heat of her, the swell of her breasts against his chest, her hands smoothing over his chest, his sides.

His hands aching to touch her in kind, to find out what she liked, what made her gasp, and do it again and again . . . Nothing had ever felt like this, nothing. He’d known desire before; so he remembered, so he had believed. It turned out he had stepped into a puddle and thought it was the sea. As Cordelia moved in his arms, as her lips, he realized there was a depth to desire he hadn’t even guessed at: that it was more than just desperation, but joy and need and wanting and being wanted back. It was a fever dream, his hands sliding up under the heavy satin of her skirts, the salt-sweet taste of her skin, the soft sounds of her pleasure as she urged him closer, urged him onward, the desk seeming to spin beneath them.

He heard, as if at a great distance, the sound of the door opening. He lifted his head, saw the slim fair-hared figure in the doorway. Ice washed through his veins. Cordelia stiffened, began to scramble to sit up. No, he thought, but he couldn’t stop her, couldn’t blame her. It — whatever it had been — was over.

He slid off the desk. Already the fever was vanishing, that feeling —the glorious freedom from the burden of his own will — receding. Grasping at his control, he drew it around himself,  reaching for his coat, turning to calmly meet the gaze of his parabatai.

“James?” Matthew said.

[nightowlfandom]

Noctis Lucis Caelum- Arguments and Arrangements

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...

"FUCK YOU"

"When and where, toots?"

"Why I ought to-" you approached Noctis with your gun cocked and ready to shoot the smug grin off his face. It was Prompto’s fault for giving you his lucky pistol for your birthday. 

Gladiolus had you by the waist. Holding you on his lap. He drug you to the other side of the hotel room while Ignis reprimanded Noctis for bullying you again.

"Hey hey-"  Cindy stopped you dead in your tracks by jumping between the two of you. "No fightin' on the property!" She snatched the firearm out of your hand, causing you to growl in sheer annoyance. “You’re gonna have to pay for this place, y’know?”

"Tell her to chill out!"

"Tell him to stop messing with me!" You snapped. Noctis LOVED getting under your skin for some odd unknown reason. It was like he got off on pissing you off every chance he got. And trust, he used EVERY CHANCE HE GOT.

"Noct, why can't ya just leave Y/N be for once?" Cindy, who seemed to be on your side shook her head. 

"It's either you two fight it out, or fuck it out! Pick one!" Prompto voice his opinion.

"PROMPTO!!" You said in pure shock. You didn't think they'd take it that far, not to mention Noctis was the LAST person you'd want to see you naked...under him...doing things...with him. The thought was just absurd! You yanked yourself out of Gladio’s grip. 

“Excuse me?!”

“Pardon me!?”

"I've had it with you two arguing!" She looked between you and Noctis. "We’re gonna step out and wrassle up some dinner for us all. Then maybe search for a few parts and if the two of you haven't made up by the time I come back, y'all are walking everywhere from now on, ya hear me?". Without giving you time to disagree or even answer, she threw open the door and stepped out, the other boys following behind.

“Y/N, Noctis. I recommended following Cindy’s instructions...or else.” his glare lingered on your both. 

"They took our shit didn't they?" You glowered. You noticed your weapon was gone and Noctis’s sword was missing.

"Yep." Noctis didn't sound too happy either.

"So were basically fuckin’ trapped." you asked.

"Seems so." he replied.

"Whatever." you huffed walking over to the couch seat. "I'll wait."

"Didn't you hear her? She said-"

"I know what she said." You rolled your eyes. "Doesn't mean I'm gonna listen. We have nothing to say to each other." You crossed your arms, leaning back. “Unless you got something to tell me, Caelum.”

"..." Noct didn't respond. He just walked over to his spot on the bed, far from you. Fine by you, you didn't want to be near that asshole anyways.

A good few minutes passed in complete silence. You were twiddling your thumbs while Noctis was playing with his phone. You took the time to look over at him. His black, ravenette hair reflected the slowly setting sun that peered through the window. You could make out the curve of his jaw as he clenched and unclenched. He was thinking about something. The way he bit his lip in concentration for whatever he was doing was almost-

"You gonna sit there and stare at me all day or what?" You snapped out of your daze and finally realized Noctis was staring at you. Well, he was glaring. Same thing.

"Sorry." You instantly looked away. When were they gonna be back already?

"Why do you hate me anyways." Noctis swung his feet around and twisted his body until he was facing you. "Honestly."

"Because you hated me first." You scoffed, refusing to look back at him. "I seem to remember you holding a certain disdain for me." You laughed harshly. "How quickly we forget, Prince Jackass."

"Well you know me." He shrugged smirking. "I don't remember stuff too good." He got up and maneuvered over to you.. He sat down next to you. He was hunched over, leaning his elbows on his knees.

"Obviously." You cracked a smile. "Remember when we first met? Threw me right into a daemon's grasp?"

"Yeah." He laughed bitterly. "You used a pen to cut yourself free then made a whole scene."

"You liar!"

"I am not! You chased me up the street."

"Well I didn't have a weapon of my own!" You replied. "Be honest, it was impressive."

"You got me." He shook his head. "Never met a girl who could turn a regular old pen into a weapon."

"You should meet my family." You chuckled. “They’re the crazy ones.”

"I'll pass." He seemed to be opening up because he relaxed more, leaning back in the seat. "So...I know Cindy likes to take her time. What are we gonna do until then?"

"Good question." You said, standing up. Since you really didn't take note of how slippery the floors were, you lost your footing, getting ready to fall back down. "Ack!"

"Woah, hey!" Noctis wrapped an arm around your waist. You landed right on his lap, thanks to him moving over in time. "What was that?"

"Sorry. I guess I wasn't-" it was only then you noticed how close to his face you were. "Paying attention." You finished quietly.

Noctis narrowed his eyes, burning his gaze into your own. His eyes darted around, scanning every detail of your face. Without thinking, you slowly moved your hand to brush his cheek with your knuckles. Honestly, a few hours ago, you would have wanted to punch his square in his face. Now, you weren't so sure what you wanted to do now.

Noctis's tongue darted out to lick his lips, which did all sorts of things to you. Whether they were good or bad was a debate to be had. He must have been thinking the same thing. "You're really close, you know that?"

"...Yeah." you replied breathlessly. "Guess I'm a bit clumsy." Despite it sounding like you were about to get off, you relaxed into his touch. "Someone could be back any minute."

"Yeah." He showed no signs of letting you get up. Instead, his hand crawled under your shirt, up your back. You leaned down and partially surprised him with a sudden kiss. Despite his surprise, he returned the kiss whole heartedly. He silently moaned into your mouth, wasting no time in introducing his tongue to yours.

Noctis laid back on the couch, taking you with him. His began exploring your body, and damn! You had a sexy body. He always wondered why you insisted on your ‘uniform’ being the way it was, but that body? He wasn’t gonna fucking complain. He loved seeing you in shorts with those garters that double as a place to store your weapons.

Shit, he was a good kisser. It was about time he used his mouth for something other than talking shit. “Shit, Y/N. Why didn’t we think of this before?”

“Don’t know-.” you moaned, feeling his hands reach for the zipper of your jacket. 

“Damnit, Y/N!” he groaned. “Let me get on top of you.” he urged, moving you around so he was hovering over you. You stared up at Noctis who was fumbling with your belt.

Noctis covered your mouth with his again. “Noctis, someone could walk in.”

“I don’t care.” he glowered, kissing down your neck. He discarded your jacket. “Shit, you’re so hot. Your skin feels like....the sun.” he breathed out. “Shit I’m hard already.” he grunted. “and we’ve only kissed.”

“Are we really doing this right now?” you looked up as Noctis ripped his shirt from his body. “Ignis is gonna kill you-”

“Fuck that tool.” he growled. “Or maybe I should fuck you instead.” he crashed his mouth over yours again. You moaned wantonly into his mouth. 

You felt him pull down your pants, take off your garters and panties with them. “Take em off.”

 You fumbled with his belt too, in a desperation to undress him as well.

“Tell me, Y/N...you don’t think this is the only time we’re gonna do this are you?”

“I’d be dumb to assume.” you whimpered. 

“Good girl, this little arrangement of ours is good...”

....

[earlgreydream]

quiet.

| bucky x reader | fluff |

being saved by the winter soldier

“It’s just in here. I have a dog, her name is Lucy. She’s a little big, but she is very gentle. You don’t need to be afraid of her,” Bucky explained as you followed him up the stairs to his apartment.

You gave a slight nod and his lips turned up. He walked to a red door and put the key in, turning it as the lock clicked.

You’d been saved from a Hydra testing facility that the avengers infiltrated a few weeks ago. Bucky had found you, barely alive, deep in a lab. You’d been chained to an exam table, bruised and hollow.

“It’s okay, you’re safe now. I’m going to get you out of here.” Bucky had promised.

You had been taken to Banner’s lab to recover, Bucky staying with you the entire time. It was like a private hospital, and Banner and his staff took incredible care of you. They’d promised Bucky you were in safe hands, but he didn’t want to leave you.

Even when he got up to grab something, he’d see the fear spark through your eyes as you weakly reached out to him.

You didn’t answer any of the million questions you were suffocated with, opting to silently look away from the doctors and agents. The only thing Bucky had been able to coax out of you was your name, one late night when you couldn’t fall asleep.

“Do you like books? I can read to you.”

Bucky did his best to keep you entertained, and he’d already manage to read you several books from the harry potter series. Peter Parker had insisted everyone in your generation liked them, and he’d considered them a safe bet.

Bucky read you the stories of magic and boarding school and friendship, staying by your bedside and entertaining you. After you finished each book, he convinced Banner to let you use the lab screens to watch the films.

Once you were finally recovered enough to be stable, Bucky had convinced them to let you come stay with him at his apartment in Brooklyn. Stark Tower was cold, huge, and noisy. He thought it would be much better for your recovery to be in a calmer and more cozy environment.

Bucky unlocked the door to his apartment, letting you inside first. You tensed a bit as the large golden retriever waddled up to you.

“It’s alright. Lucy, this is Y/N. She’s our new friends that’s going to be staying here. You gotta protect her too, she’s a little nervous,” Bucky spoke to his dog as if she were a human, amusing you a bit.

Lucy sniffed your hands, and you giggled softly when she licked your fingers.

Bucky had never heard you laugh, and it made his heart soften. The quiet sound was so sweet, and he wanted to be the source of your laughter, and hear it for the rest of his life. 

He gave you a short tour of his home, a small apartment in Brooklyn. It was  cozy and intimate, the warmth a stark contrast to the cold metallics of Banner’s lab where you had spent the last two weeks. 

You followed him to the second bedroom, the walls painted a pale lavender. Bucky set down your bag of clothes and personal items that Nat had provided you with Stark’s credit card. 

“I didn’t know what color you liked, but Wanda said that this color was a safe bet,” he said apologetically, and you nodded, the corners of your lips turning up slightly.

You were slightly nervous when Bucky left you to unpack and settle, but you smiled as Lucy hopped on top of the white duvet cover. You peeked your head out of the door, looking into the living room when you heard music. Bucky laid a vinyl record on the player in the corner, old music floating through the small apartment. 

“I was going to make dinner. Are you up for eating?” 

You nodded, and he lightly touched your hip as he walked by, to the open kitchen. You slipped the clothes into the closet and the drawers, setting the phone and laptop on the little desk in the room before going to join Bucky in the main part of his home. You wrapped in the cashmere blanket that was on the end of the bed, comforted by being swaddled in the soft fabric.

“I got that for you, I thought you’d like it,” Bucky smiled at you, nodding at the blanket. You sat up at the island, across from where he was slicing vegetables. You smiled back at him, and he leaned forward and held out a piece of red pepper to you. 

Your smaller fingers took it from his metal hand, biting into the sweet vegetable he gave you. 

“I thought we could watch the Deathly Hallows tonight, it’s the last one we have left.”

You agreed and ate as much of the salad he made as you could. Before Bucky could get up, you grabbed his bowl and slipped away from the island, doing the dishes for the two of you. Bucky laughed as you spun around with the music, and you reached out your hands, inviting him to dance with you. 

His arm went around your waist, and your fingers slipped in his. His chin rested on top of your head, and you felt his heartbeat thrum against your cheek as you slowly swayed to the music. He quietly sang along to the song from a 40′s artist, a peace settling over the two of you. 

The music stopped as the needle slipped to the middle of the record, and Bucky’s arm tightened around your waist. You hugged him, feeling safe and secure in his arms.

You reached into a bowl and grabbed a piece of chocolate before following him to the couch, where he was turning on your movie. You curled up on the end of the couch, draping your blanket over you. You watched the movie, Bucky’s hand resting on your ankle, his fingertips occasionally moving over your skin. 

His careful touch was welcomed, soothing your remaining nerves from being in the new environment. You jumped when the snake in the movie lunged forward, a soft gasp escaping your lips. 

“Oh, no, it’s alright, doll,” Bucky gently squeezed your ankle. You sat up and moved to lean against his side. He draped his arm over your body, keeping you safe from the magical snake in the movie. 

You dreaded going to bed, and Bucky could sense your nerves. Since you’d been rescued from Hydra, Bucky had slept a few feet from you, holding your hand. 

“Goodnight, Y/N. I’m just in the next room if you need.”

You twisted your hair between your fingers, patting Lucy’s head before crawling into bed. 

After hours of lying awake, your body finally succumbed to exhaustion. Dreams twisted into nightmares, making your heart seize and trapping the oxygen in your lungs. A cold sweat broke out all over your body, and you shot up, gasping for breath as memories of Hydra’s experiments and torture flashed through your mind.

You rubbed your eyes and held your blanket to your chest, trying to fight off the nightmares. The shadows in the corners seemed to move and grab at you like claws, the terror bubbling higher in your throat. You knew you were safe in Bucky’s apartment, but your heart couldn’t quite catch up with your mind. 

Finally, you gave up trying to calm yourself down and you threw yourself out of the bed, running quietly into Bucky’s room. 

“Bucky... Bucky, wake up, please!” you desperately gasped out, hot tears rolling down your face. 

“Y/N, I’m here, it’s okay.” He sat up and moved over on the mattress, making room.

Your voice immediately snapped him out of his sleepy daze, so unused to hearing you speak. 

“I’m sorry,” you hiccuped, and he shook his head, snuggling your body against his under the blankets.You buried your face in his chest, letting him wrap you tightly in his arms. His dog tags were cold against your skin, tears soaking through his thin t-shirt.

“No, it’s okay. Go back to sleep, doll. I promise I’m going to keep you safe.”

Metal fingers combed through your hair as his other hand rubbed your shaking back. Bucky kissed the top of your head, soothing you back to sleep. He understood your fear, only recently freed from Hydra’s nightmares himself. Having you sleeping beside him comforted him as much as you, and he didn’t mind you crawling under his covers at two am. 

Your eyes slowly adjusted to the soft light pouring through white curtains. Bucky was lying next to you, and Lucy was curled up at your feet on the end of the mattress. You were halfway on top of him, your head on his chest and one leg draped between his. His metal arm was around your waist, resting just under the hem of your shirt, tracing small shapes on your skin.

Your head felt heavy from crying the night before, and your arms were weak as you tried to push yourself to sit up. 

“You okay?”

“Fine enough,” you whispered, Lucy’s ears perking up. 

Steel eyes searched your face, and his fingers slid to the small of your back as you sat up over him.

“I love hearing your voice,” Bucky smiled up at you, and you bit your lower lip as you smiled back.

You started giggling as Lucy licked your face, and before Bucky could gently push her off of you, you wrapped your arms around the dog and kissed the side of her furry head. Bucky sat up and pet Lucy before gently cupping your jaw. You looked at him, blushing as he briefly kissed you. 

He pulled back and gauged your reaction, anxiety sweeping over him when your eyes widened.

“Y/N, I’m sorry, I just-”

You leaned forward and kissed him back, your arms wrapping around his neck as you shifted onto his lap. Passion poured through the two of you, and he held you tightly as your lips moved together.

“Don’t be sorry, kiss me again,” you whispered against his lips. He grinned before fulfilling your request, giving you exactly what you wanted. 

[ignitedbynatsu]

He Makes You Feel Insecure ~ Natsu

A/N: Woowie it has been a while hasn’t it 😅 Writers block can be a bitch but I think I have a few more ideas for the other boys. Let me know who you want me to write for next!!

warnings: insecurities (he makes you feel like you feel like your magic isn’t compatible, cursing

genre: angst to fluff

Other versions:

Gray ~ Laxus ~ Cobra/Erik ~ Bickslow ~ Gajeel ~ Jellal ~ Freed ~ Sting ~ Rogue

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Tension had been running high for Natsu when his fire attacks had been cancelled one after the other by the wind magic user, but when you were the one that accidentally nullified his attack with your water magic, that’s when he completely snapped.

You had taken note of the rising irritation in your boyfriend's behaviour, and you thought that he hadn’t noticed the attack coming his way so in the heat of the moment you decided to step in. As a result, your water extinguished his flames and you both could dodge his attack your opponent’s attack just in time.

“Natsu, I’m so sorry-“ “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

You were a bit taken back by his sudden tone as he had never yelled at you before. He took notice of your sudden state of shock, but that wasn’t enough to prevent the vicious word from coming from his mouth “Why the fuck did you think that was a good idea? Don’t you see that you’re a nuisance to me? All you do is fuck up my fire and get in my way. I don’t want your magic near me, can you get that through your thick skull?”

“Natsu!” Erza called out to the stressed fire dragon slayer “This is not the time nor the place”

“I won’t get in your way next time” You whispered before heading over to help Lucy with her opponent.

After a while, you overpowered your foes and were now on a train making your way back to Magnolia. You sat next to Lucy, while Carla and Wendy were seated in front of you. Natsu, Gray, Erza and Happy were seated in the boot next to yours.

“(Y/N)” Natsu whined “I’m dying, please help me” You usually summoned some water in the palm of your hand and let it softly swirl against his forehead. For some reason, it helped with the nauseous feeling, and you were about to give in until you realized his words from earlier. He wanted your magic nowhere near him. What if you somehow fucked up and splashed water all over him. You did not want to be yelled at again.

“Tell Natsu I’m asleep or something” You mumbled lowly, so only Lucy could hear, while you laid your head on her shoulder. She gave you a sad smile, knowing the outburst was still fresh on your mind. She complied, making Natsu groan in response but eventually gave up. He didn’t look too much in it as he knew how tired you could get from these jobs.

Once out of the train, you didn’t spare Natsu a second look. You walked in front of everyone, but Erza quickly caught up to walk next to you, while the other looked after the two Dragon Slayers that were still feeling a bit nauseous from the train ride “Are you okay?”

“Of course! Why wouldn’t I be?” You asked.

Erza clicked her tongue as she looked at you from the corner of her eyes, absolutely not believing the lie that just fell from your tongue “Natsu was way out of line”

“He was just stressed, it can happen to the best of us” You shrugged it off, hoping that if you treated it lightly it wouldn’t weight down later in your mind.

“Still not an excuse to work it out on you” She pointed out.

“I know, thank you for caring, but really Erza, I promise I’m okay.” You gave her a small genuine smile which she returned.

You didn’t return to the guild as the others did, instead, you went home, telling the others you were too tired from the mission to deal with the shenanigans from Fairy Tail. Natsu offered to walk you home, but you kindly denied it, leaving him a bit confused. He realized he should probably give you some space since he lashed out at you. He made a mental note to apologize next thing in the morning when he’d see you.

“(Y/N)! Baby!” Natsu ran over to you and hugged you tightly while spinning you around making you squeal in surprise “put me down, Natsu”

“Only if you forgive me for what happened yesterday,” he said.

“I forgive you. You were stressed, I get it, it’s no big deal” You forgave him.

“I knew you’d understand, you’re the best” He kissed your cheek as he placed you back on your feet “anyway Happy and I found this job and-“

“I think I’m gonna take a day off, still feel a little tired from yesterday, you can go, though, have fun” you cut him off before he could fully explain the mission.

“Alright, make sure you take care of yourself today! I’ll be home as soon as I can, so we can cuddle” He kissed your forehead before turning to the Exceed “Let’s go Happy! Let’s go ask if Lucy wants to join”

That’s how the following weeks went. You always found an excuse to not join Natsu and Happy on the job. Sure you had forgiven him for his outburst since he was under a lot of stress. He shouldn’t have taken it out on you, but you also knew it could happen to the best of us when you’ve hit your limit. However, you couldn’t help but see some truth in his words.

Your magic was not compatible and made you doubt yourself. You associated yourself strongly with your magic, as every wizard did, so I made you think if you and Natsu were suited for each other. After all, that was one of the many reasons why Natsu and Gray shared such a peculiar friendship.

You had often heard of the saying that opposites attracted, but nothing could be further from the truth. The human race is a narcissistic species and wants nothing more than finding themselves in their significant others. Huge differences might be exciting and fun at first but are bound to break in the long run.

“(Y/N), you wanna go on a mission with us?” Natsu asked as you stood in front of the board with job applications.

“Can’t, I promised Gajeel I-“ You started to explain but cut yourself off when Natsu threw you over his shoulder “Natsu! Let me go! Natsu!”

“No we need to talk,” He said in a serious tone, making you stop struggling against his grip and let him take you outside, so you could talk in private.

“What do you wanna talk about?” You asked softly as you took notice of the sincere expression on his face.

“Why are you avoiding me?” He asked as his black orbs were searching for answers in your eyes.

“I am not” you deflected his question, but you breaking eye contact as soon as the words past your lips proved you were lying.

“Ever since that day I lashed out at you, you haven’t gone on a mission with me” He pressed.

“That’s not true” you denied once again which made him frown. Why were you dishonest with him?

“Okay, when was the last time we went on a job together?” He asked. Your silence was a clear answer and you both knew it. Your gaze averted to the ground, but he refused to let you shy away from him as he placed a finger under your chin to tilt your head back up until your eyes meet once again. His hand softly from underneath your chin to lay on your cheek “are you still upset with me?”

Your heart shattered at how vulnerable he was right now. His playful antics long replaced by guilt that had been slowly eating away at him for the past days. “No, of course not”

“Then please tell me what I did wrong. I can’t stand the thought of me deliberately hurting you. Please tell me what’s troubling you, so I can fix it” He pleaded.

“Do you-“ You paused to collect your thoughts “do you think we’re right for each other?”

“What do you mean?” 

“That day you said my magic was a nuisance. It got me thinking and you were right. You have to evade my magic so often, and it's all because it isn’t compatible with one another. I just didn’t want to be more of a hinder than I already was, that’s why I started to join others on their jobs just so I wouldn’t mess up yours. I just sometimes wonder if my magic isn’t the only thing that isn’t compatible with you.” You frowned as you hear yourself your insecurities out loud.

“Hey, no, stop. What I said that day was completely out of line. I took my frustration and took them out on you and I shouldn’t have. I have no excuse for how I acted that day. You didn’t deserve it, and I’m sorry for making you feel bad. So what if we’re a little different. I thought you always liked a good challenge?” He apologized.

“Sure I like the thrill of our relationship, but it doesn’t take away from the fact our magic isn’t suitable for one another. I just think we’re setting ourselves up for failure. A challenge is fun for a little while but we both know that stability is what you need if you want a relationship to survive in the long run” You explained.

“Then we’ll defy those odds. I’ll show everyone and especially you that you don’t need something like psychology to prove if a relationship will work or not. Please let me prove to you how much I can love you and let me prove to you that I’ll eventually become that stability you crave.” He vowed. “I always thought you weren’t one to be quick on giving up when things get rough”

“I’m not, I just don’t want to put my heart out there if I know from the start it’ll only get broken” You uttered somberly.

“I promise you it won’t. I’ll love you with every fiber in my body until the day I die. I will never make you doubt yourself or our relationship again” He told you, sincerity audible in his voice.

You smiled softly at him as your arms sneaked around his waist while your head laid on his chest. His arms immediately reacted at your touch, shielding you away from the world as his lips planted a soft kiss on your head “I love you”