#One of them put it on of their own free will. I also just happened to be their roommate
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I want to set the record straight regarding a certain OST for a short film that should be coming out later this year, because one of its directors is making false and hurtful claims about me and my business ethic. After he made a prominent appearance on a drama stream about me & wrote a section of my callout doc, I told him that I wasn't interested in dragging him publicly, but that has felt more impossible as time goes on and I realize the extent of his misrepresentation. I had a vision of this film being able to release quietly in spite of everything, but I don't think that can happen, and I fully expect him to try and hurt my chances at further work.
In 2023, between techdogs 4 and 5, I worked on music for a then good friend's student film. It is by far the most technically difficult job I've ever had, and I did it for free. Now, before you get mad, this is partially (mostly) my fault. I never negotiated a price beforehand, and when I found out partway through that I was working for free, I let it slide for fear of being disruptive. If I was asked to quote a price today, it would have been approximately 900 USD. The work was a hellish and grueling experience, technical in ways I'd never been prepared for, and I sorely regret not putting my foot down, because I was hollowed out by the end of it.
A big portion of his callout against me is concerned with, bafflingly, my decision not to contribute my own money to the film, which at that point would have been a negative paycheck. I didn't pay the thirty dollars that I would've had to pitch in for the film to be screened, and I considered that a fine payment for the nine hundred dollars of work they got from me. He goes on to write that I'm rich anyways, I pay hundreds of dollars on album art (business expenses that I know I'll make back when the music is released) and "furry porn," because apparently if I am occasionally willing to drop a pretty penny on a pleasure purchase then I should simply be compelled to pay them randomly for things I hold no stake in and that I signed no contract for. He also mentions that I paid them later for the DCP file at another screening, of course by that point I had gotten the vibe that they were wanting for me to drop money on their project, so I did, giving the post-hoc justification that "i guess in this case I also care about the film sounding good." He writes "well I guess that was something she deemed worthy" without realizing the implication would then be that he did not see my own work as worthy.
Let me make this clear, this is like if a voice actor worked on my video game for free as a favor with no expectations of royalties, and then I asked them to help me pay to get the game on steam. This is presented along reheated second, third, fourthhand accounts of sexual misconduct.
And before we move on, to the claim that one album artist had to wait for years before receiving payment, this is true. I did forget to pay one artist, and only found out after their assistant contacted me years later, where I then paid six times the asking price as a late fee. I was commissioning over ten album arts every year, and as of now, this is the only time I have made this mistake.
It is impossible for me to refute his claims about the personal time we spent together in Omaha, as it would just be my word against his. I will just say that he should know the omitted reasons that I have grown to feel I was disposed, discarded, and taken for granted by him, and how he has nothing to do with why I hold those memories at that film festival so highly. He also does the classic thing where he positions allowing me to pick the movie in the evening as this favor he did, making me unknowingly rack up debt for a bargain I never consented to.
During all this, he has expressed an existential fear of being harassed for going public about me, and for this reason I want to say that I still hope that this film can be released without a fuss, but his continued participation in a harassment campaign against me has done far more to tarnish his reputation than I ever could. If you really cared about your image, pressure Crim to re-record that drama stream without your embarrassing petty grievances in it & delete your testimony from the callout doc. Thanks.
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—- lunch munch club. ft schlatt. ᝰ
summary: watching porn late one night when you come across an interesting video. you're taken by surprise when you see the main male star is also the man who's streams you tune into almost daily.
— tags: smut, lunch club!schlatt, munch schlatt, mentions of oral, schlatt does purn (duh), open ending.. so we can expand upon this if we're interested.
authors note: hii! the two ideas i had originally can wait, because the lovely @fanficfox posted something about lc!schlatt doing porn and it struck me with inspo. so! everyone say thank you fox, and i hope you all enjoy! ♡
it's not uncommon for you to have some time to just yourself and the stash of porn videos that pop up on your twitter feed
twitter algorithm knows what to give you these days, which is nice. it saves you the hassle of finding a good account
but perhaps twitter knows you a little too well, when you're recommended a video of a guy eating a girl out
and you're intrigued of course, because who doesn't love that? especially when the camera is on her chest, helping entice you into the experience. as if it were you
the video is already a few seconds in by the time you click on it, and you're introduced to the scene with obscene moans escaping the girl
you can see her thighs tremble around the head in between her thighs, her free hand reaching out to run her fingers through the male's hair
you can hear muffled groans from in between her thighs, and you watch as the head moves back slightly, taking a breath
"god sweetheart, you taste so fuckin' good. could stay down here all night and take my sweet time with you."
that's when a shiver runs through your body, because oh. that sounded like.. and you supposed when you looked at the figure of the male, and the hair..
no. you were being stupid. of course you were. why on earth would schlatt of all people do porn. you know what he's like, he wouldn't
but oh, he would. and when he raises his head from beneath the girl's thighs with his lips glistening with her slick, you're frozen
it's as if your mind has short-circuited, because what the fuck?? you have so many questions; why was schlatt doing porn, why was he not making it subtle, why was he fucking good at it?
you don't have time to focus on your own questions, because your eyes are drawn back to the screen. you watch as his slim, naked body crawls up the bed, getting closer to the camera, licking his lips slowly as he groans
"words can't describe how good that was. need you to taste yourself, baby."
and with that, he's leaning over the camera to lock lips with the girl
immediately you close the tab. your whole being is flushed, and you feel hot inside for many reasons
you felt like you shouldn't have seen that, like you were.. intruding. which was stupid, he put this on the internet, there's nothing private about that
you decided you'd sleep it off. or that maybe this was a bizarre dream you'd wake up from not too long from now. anything but clicking back onto it
and yet only 10 minutes later, you had re-opened the tab
the next evening, schlatt is streaming and you try to watch it like normal. as if last night didn't happen
but you couldn't
now, every time he makes a suggestive joke or comment, you're transported back to last night
when he rolls his shoulders and cracks his neck mid-stream, you remember how he looked doing it in the video, before he crawled towards the camera
when he licks his lips after taking a drink, getting the remnants of whatever liquid he had consumed from them, you can only see him licking the girl's slick off himself
you felt insane, like you couldn't act normal about it
and maybe it was part of the insanity, but it felt like he knew.
maybe you were just psychoanalysing his every move now, but you could've sworn he was never like this before.. he was
you decided to test the waters with a few donations littered throughout the night
when he has ordered food in and was wolfing it down, there were scraps and sauces across his lips
"are you always this messy? i thought you liked to take your time with things."
when he's reviewing a video and he's talking a lot over a particular section
"you ever been told you talk too much, or do people usually like that?"
or, when he's playing a poorly made hide 'n' seek game with fans
"i'm not sure you're as good at hiding things as you may think."
"oops, 'things' autocorrected in."
every time schlatt hears one of your donations come through tts, he feels a shiver run down his back
he knew his little side hustle wasn't exactly locked behind security, it was just.. out there
maybe he was overthinking it, reading too much into your donations for no reason
either way, he's noting down your name on a sticky note on his desk for next stream for.. reasons.
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Now don't throw tomatoes at me but I'm actually really excited to finally see malleus again— I've always loved malleus since we met him in the story, but I'm also sooo curious about what's gonna happen next,, I'm wondering the obvious thing, about whether or not we might get a parralel scenario like what happened with the KoD and silver will have to "slay" malleus or at least be the one to land a killing blow, but I also saw a really interesting post focusing on how magic is a manifestation of dreams and deep desires and imagination,,,, in that case, I may (VERY delusionally) hope that Yuu finally gets to be a major part of the story for once??? Even reading the novels, there HAS to be something bigger for yuu— while the idea of crowley simply being an incompetent airhead is fun and more comfortable, haven't you thought that meybe he pulled them into this world deliberately??
All to say, what if at some point, Yuu somehow manifests magic in a very dire moment ?? You know lol?? Agh idk. I just want yuu to finally make impactful choices but that IS too much to ask, as far as we can see for now,,, (but hey, that part leading up to ace getting is UM, and the convo between him and yuu,,, it *does* give one a sliver of hope, doesn't it? :') )
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Don't worry, no tomato throwing here! 😅 I may not care for certain characters, but I’m not going to shame anyone that does. You’re free to think however you want about Malleus!
dbjsvsJcwhj My personal feelings about him aside, I am actually glad he’s finally relevant to the main story again. He’s missed out on so much of his own book OTL In the time he’s been gone, the fandom has been left to speculate about both his and Lilia’s potential death flags. I really doubt Twst will have the balls to kill off one of them, but it would be cool to at least see Silver delivering the final blow to knock some sense into (not necessarily kill) OB Malleus.
Yes, it’s true that Silver states in the recent update that magic was originally considered “a miracle borne of strong desires from the heart.” But 💦 I don’t think that means Yuu would randomly manifest magic in the final fight?? It feels more like a “let’s save the day with the power of friendship” to me, but I could of course be wrong.
I understand being frustrated that Yuu’s participation in the main story seems to fluctuate a lot, with most of their activity being books 3, 4, and segments of 1, 6, and 7. That’s not much, especially considering how long books 6 and 7 are. Sometimes (even in events) it feels like Yuu is barely there, as most dialogue options don’t involve different reactions from the characters. Even Yuu's quest to find a way home is barely addressed or taken seriously until early in book 7. Yuu hasn't gotten "real" development unless you count them realizing their Disney dreams are prophetic in book 5, taking the initiative to save Grim in book 6, and that dialogue option about them being worried they're not contributing + the related convo with Ace in book 7. All very short moments in the grand scheme of things. And honestly, I think that makes sense for the kind of character Yuu is. A blank slate, a self-insert, an outsider that's easy to exposit information to, someone with which to view the story, characters, and world through. Yuu is primarily there to be the POV character, the lenses, the camera that we see Twst through. They're not really meant to be a traditional "main character". It's possible that Twst gives them a slightly bigger role at the very end (especially with what went down in the dream in book 7), but I doubt it will be a huge triumphant moment where they and they alone save the day or deal the final blow in a crazy act of self-sacrifice. Twst has always been a story that puts the NRC boys first, while Yuu is the observer.
I've noticed that the complaint of Yuu not doing a lot in the story comes mainly from English speaking fans?? And I guess that makes sense, given how western culture tends to emphasize independence and standing out. They want Yuu to reflect that. They want to be the ones to make a difference. I don't even remember ever seeing these same comments from the Japanese speaking fans; it's definitely a less common sentiment for them. The Japanese fans seem pretty content with Yuu being an observer and taking on more of a minor or supporting role. Again, this fits in with what I understand of many eastern cultures. They're demurer, not wanting to stand out too much from the crowd and instead prioritizing group harmony. Very interesting cultural difference to note!
It's a common theory (with many variants) that Crowley intentionally summoned Yuu to Twisted Wonderland for his own nefarious motives. People found him pretty sus right away due to how he seems to not put in any real time or effort into investigating a way to send Yuu home. Plus, there's that ominous opening monologue of his to consider. However, I don't think he summoned Yuu because of their (potential) great magical capabilities. The Mirror of Darkness tells us that it doesn't sense a shred of magic in Yuu, and Leona smells zero magic on them (though that could be because it hasn't technically manifested yet, as some fans claim).
The idea is that Yuu is supposed to be plain. They are supposed to be magicless. Why? To humble the NRC students and to show them that asserting yourself violently or with great magical power ISN'T the way to go. To show them value in strategizing (which Yuu does in the prologue by helping Grim aim at the ghosts), of camaraderie. What does it say about the story's themes if Yuu, the person who is supposed to be showing them the worth of mundane things, is suddenly... "secretly ultra-strong, actually/“just like you guys” (even if it's only a temporary hope-fueled magic)? It might contradict what has already been set up. It also breaks the self-insert appeal of Yuu, since developing magic would also mean Yuu would later have to further develop things like proficiency in magic, best/worst subjects, and an unique magic/signature spell... meaning Yuu HAS to become better "defined", thus losing their blank slate nature. This would surely upset some fans who deeply project onto Yuu, have a Yuusona, etc.
Yuu can still make an impact on the characters and the world--and they have, judging by how much closer the boys are with each other--without having to be The Most Special One or like everyone else. I think it undermines what Yuu has already managed to achieve to say that they haven't made an impactful choice at ANY point in the main story when I believe they definitely have. Yuu made the choice to sign the contract with Azul. Yuu made the choice to approach Malleus. Yuu made the choice to go against Crowley's orders and go retrieve Grim from S.T.Y.X. Yuu made the choice to get Leona’s help with the contracts. Yuu made the choice to stand with Adeuce against Riddle in book 1. Yuu made the choice to let the VDC/SDC tribe train at Ramshackle. Yuu has done a lot, and all without needing to seize the spotlight or to do anything big and flashy. I don't think Yuu needs to be big and flashy. There is pride to be had in simplicity and being humble too. There is pride in representing the 90% of humans in Twisted Wonderland that are ordinary and without magic.
(An aside: so if Yuu wasn’t able to manifest magic in many other extreme instances, does that mean their desire to save Grim in book 6 wasn’t “enough”? That their desire to save Ramshackle, their one and only home in this world, wasn’t “enough”? It implies that Yuu didn’t wish hard enough for these other things they clearly care about and want.)
I think a good way to give Yuu a decent role while staying true to their design as a blank slate would be for Twst to really lean into the whole "beast tamer" aspect that was introduced all the way back in the prologue. This would work well with their deep connection to Grim as well. Assuming that Grim ends up being the final OB... We could easily have the NRC students and staff on the ropes, Malleus at his wit's end after exhausting himself with his own OB, a rampaging Grim about to end it all. And then... one lone figure shakily rises from the rubble and confronts Grim. One human. Magicless, defenseless. A human lost in an unfamiliar world, a human who believes they're useless and don't contribute much. A human who is always in need of being protected by others. But not anymore. This time, it's Yuu's turn to protect what they love--their friends, this world they've come to love, Grim. Ace and Deuce yelling at Yuu to not be stupid, to get back--but Yuu just advances, calling out to Grim and begging him to stop. And maybe it's Yuu's wish that rallies everyone and/or gets OB Grim to hesitate. That's when they can strike. Is that corny? Yeah. Does it sound like the ending to a Disney film? Sure. But it still grants Yuu, a magicless human that is supposed to be there to teach everyone about friendship, cooperation, and humility, their big moment to shine. The best of both worlds, I'd say.
#disney twst#disney twisted wonderland#twst#twisted wonderland#twst en#twisted wonderland en#twst jp#twisted wonderland jp#Yuu#Grim#Dire Crowley#Malleus Draconia#Ace Trappola#Deuce Spade#Silver#Lilia Vanrouge#Azul Ashengrotto#Leona Kingscholar#book 5 spoilers#book 7 spoilers#notes from the writing raven#book 6 spoilers#prologue spoilers#Riddle Rosehearts#book 1 spoilers
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Sometimes I wonder what it had to have been like, being Zelda holding Calamity Ganon at bay. Like, we've seen Zelda get turned to stone in other games and I imagine that's like just being put in a coma. In Twilight Princess, Zelda's spirit is transferred to Midna to save her life, so I assume she's basically like halfway traveling with Link and Midna for the duration of their journey after that, in some kind of half haze but also vaguely following along. Other "imprisonments/comas" for other Zeldas include being put in a magical slumber in Adventure of Link, which, again, is sleeping. I don't know all the Zelda situations, but these seem to be the majority of them. Even Tetra gets the Coma Treatment.
So, it stands to reason, then, that BotW Zelda is just in a state of magical slumber then, right?
But she isn't. She wakes Link, she talks to him, can see where he is and what he is doing. This girl was awake and fighting for one hundred freaking years.
Now, granted, I do think that time felt very different for her. And I'm sure the initial phase, where her power over Ganon had him nearly entirely contained, was probably far more akin to some kind of trance-like state. But as her control slipped, she awoke more, and gosh how wild and awful that must have been.
But you know what else this makes me think of? Skyward Sword Zelda. To my knowledge, she's the only other Zelda who had to go into some kind of trance like state to maintain or seal something away, like purposefully enters that state rather than being imprisoned like that. And, again, it just seems like she's sleeping - she even asks Link to wake her up. But if BotW Zelda went through a similar state and started waking up on her own as her power faded, what if Skyward Sword Zelda had something similar happening to her? Did she start to lose her strength and come to consciousness a bit, despite having no ability to return to her body or break out of the prison she sealed herself into? She must have been starting to weaken in that regard, because how else was the Imprisoned breaking free and requiring Link to seal it away once more, multiple times? I wonder if this Zelda could have reached out to Link but chose not to so she wouldn't interfere with his mission?
And then I also wonder about the time differences, about the power differences. Because BotW Zelda was a powerhouse, subduing and fighting Calamity Ganon for one hundred years with no training, just sheer grit the instant she got her powers. But then there's Skyward Sword Zelda, who the moment she got her memories back, knew what she had to do, and maintained the seal and therefore fought Demise for thousands of years.
I don't know, I just have many thoughts.
#breath of the wild#breath of the wild zelda#botw zelda#skyward sword#skyward sword zelda#ss zelda#I'm not including totk talk in this because I know someone who doesn't want spoilers#but also it's still irrelevant because what happens there isn't the same thing#legend of zelda
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That comment about webcomics at the end was like an isekai truck hitting an open wound. But for real though everything about zines here is plain to see if you pay attention to the culture surrounding this topic, and similar patterns happening in other similar mediums.
Webcomics used to (and still technically do) have zero barrier to entry to draw one at any level of artistry, but you did have to code your own simple site which took some basic coding skills. But with the rise of artist centered websites, you could upload them to an online artist community like dA, or free comics platforms like Smackjeeves or Comic fury or etc.
But deviantArt got sold and redesigned and fell out of wider relevancy, and the social media platforms we all migrated to were divided and not designed to actually get your comics onto relevant eyeballs.
Meanwhile Smackjeeves and other free comics platforms were driven out of the cultural consciousness by heavily commercialized platforms like Tapastic and Webtoons. (There are still some older ones around like Comic Fury!! Please go give their patreon your support!)
Now you can still put your webcomics on these newer sites for free, but smaller comics will be completely overshadowed by commercially-driven and standardized-formatted comics with relatively high quality with fast release schedules. Obviously they're all still "webcomics" but since the takeover by webtoons and tapas in the webcomics sphere of influence, I keep seeing/hearing artists say they don't know if they want to make webcomics cause they can't compete in the attention economy and subsequently can't make a living off of their works. (Also a personal gripe about these newer platforms, the artists are incentivized to make their comics formatted to be legible on phones??? because the phone apps are fostering an audience of readers that want to read comics on their phones?? The smartphone economy is wack.) The creativity of artists is stifled and molded to fit these new standards that make them more digestible for a very specific style of marketing. And artists are discouraged from thinking of webcomics as just another medium to
And arguably even the people reading the comics suffer, because the artist is being pressured by these sites to work themselves to the bone to produce comics at a high rate, the quality of the webcomics ALWAYS begins to suffer as time goes on, and some webcomics even start to gate off access to later updates behind a paywall. This is how commodification works.
Everybody suffers from the medium leaning more and more into becoming a commodified "product with the highest quality" and subsequently higher price point.
Smaller niche mediums always came into existence out of necessity and desire to exist in any way they can. The more we slip away from those roots that made it a desirable concept in the first place (affordable and accessible and easy-to-make) the more the term itself is diluted and the faster it drives itself to irrelevancy, until the concept itself vanishes from everybody's mind and subsequently we ALL lose access to a medium that used to be widely available.
Don't do that to zines, don't forget it's roots. Something like those simple instructions to make an 8 page zine out of a sheet of paper is how you keep a medium alive and well for all future generations of inspired youths. Not by gatekeeping OR diluting the term with semantics, but by never forgetting the word and it's roots and history.
It's the same for ttrpgs that can be played with pencil and paper, it's the same for passion-driven indie games on itch.io, and it's the same for ao3 fanfictions and the like, and you can go on and on with the examples. Don't get it twisted.
the whole point of a zine is that it's cheap to produce, amateur and homemade. if you're being asked to apply to participate in a print project, it is not a zine. if the final product is being printed and bound professionally, it is not a zine. if you are being asked to enter into any kind of licensing agreement more complex than "my work can be reproduced as part of this publication" it is not a zine. nine times put of ten if the final product costs more than $5 you have left zine country. im so serious about this.
#Sorry for my relatively uneducated two-cents cause i can't really cite too much about the actual history of webcomics#(which I would wager probably actually started BECAUSE of things like zines existing & the bigger comics industry being ass to it's workers#But I've been reading webcomics for a long time and seeing the changes in the culture surrounding the artists and audience is disheartening#Also tangentially let's gradually push away from calling things “Content” and generalized professions as “Creators”#call them the medium/profession they're in#i beg of you#that is LITERALLY how you lose those words and meanings#and subsequently those concepts and their history#The cultural zeitgeist IS pretty important to foster kthanx#text#long post#zines#webcomics#art#mediums#signal boost
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I just realized I've never fully shared how I keep track of my plushies and there lore and well its a lot. my plushies are kinda like OC's for me but there stories and personalities kinda write themselves lol I do like to keep physical and digital copies of all the goings on in the little world that they live in. I wanna show you a glimpse of it today maybe it will give you ideas for you're own plush or toys ^.^
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/8b1872eafdf4ac05dc62a23324d0084b/00c4337a1a48dedf-18/s540x810/f7ee188d0b9b4921e5f193083f170a510a4cee98.jpg)
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I have three notebooks the one on the left is where I put all my plushies information(resident book) down so kinda like a more indepth birth certificate. the one on the right is drafts for ideas, stories, character development that's happened. The one in the middle is new but that's where non drafts go and where the plushies apart of the main cast will have more in depth intros. I do have a town map for them in the spiral bound notebook and in the middle one but that's a story for another day ^.^
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I also keep a spreadsheet in case something happens to either notebooks, this Is all the information on each plush so date of birth, last name, occupation, hobbies ect etc
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/c810c36e5919639396946deda3b4ba16/00c4337a1a48dedf-60/s1280x1920/292ab53b71f4a630adebb06d7d31aa7c1330861a.jpg)
Last but certainly not least is i make pintrest boards for them it mostly for fun but it really helps me get a clear vision of what there personality is like and what the world they live in looks like through there eyes. I use piccrew character makers sometimes as well but the moodboards are my main go to.
Thanks for letting me geek out for a bit lol if you want to use any of these ideas for you're plush or toys feel free to! its a fun way to engage with you're little guys ^.^
#critter corner plushie sanctuary#velveteen plushie town#soup's plushie lore#my plushies#plushblr#plush community#safe plush#plushie#comfort plush#plushie community#plushies#comfort plushie#plushieblr#plushie crafts#plushwave#stuffed animals#toywave#sfw middle regression#sfw middle space#sfw age regression#sfw agere#plush collector#plush collection#build a bear frog#build a bear workshop#bab workshop#build a bear#buildabear#soup's plushie world#sfw interaction only
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[TW: sh mentions, violence] [spoilers for legendborn and bloodmarked, read at your own caution ;)]
so i've been rereading and trying to cover up all the legendborn content that happened while i pufff disappeared, and pardon me it is taking more time than i imagined, however i just wanted to start off with one pet peeve of mine
*rant incoming*
this might just be my unorganised thoughts or maybe just common sense, but sometimes you dont fully understand why a character did something; you have to sometimes to come back and read it again once you have that epiphany. it doesn't matter whatever tf they are doing, it sometimes just doesnt make that effect, especially on first read.
when i first read bree lashing out on greer and sar when they touched her hair, i didnt quite understand it. i thought its a cultural thing and moved on. now something about me, im a little fair, by indian standards. not completely clear skin and shit but im on the lighter side. so if im in my village, if im anywhere else wearing something with a bit of skin showing, i automatically get the comments "you're so fair" "what's your skincare" "so lucky" "you'd marry so soon" all that typa shit. and then come the unwanted touches, touching me on any exposed skin. and by any i genuinely mean any exposed skin. that's when i kind of realised why bree was so irritated when they tocuhed her hair, because people sometimes see our nicer features as free estate. and its annoying. and that is when her reaction fully made sense.
when i first read selwyn mesmered bree, i was so angry. i did not want bree to forgive him without him grovelling, ofc, but i also could not understand why he did that. what was his motive?? and why hide it from bree only?? nobody else?? now i've been in my low times since like years, not a big deal. got a lot of scars, some too visible, some not. i dont bother hiding it if im out in public where there's nobody who knows me or nobody who would care enough to ask. but if im with my friends, close people, i hide them all. and its just like valec said, its not to hide something its because of the fear of judgement. and that's when it kind of made sense why selwyn would hide his descent specifically from bree. she has bad experiences with mesmer, no doubt, but even worse with demons. it was a bad call through and through but one that is not unfamiliar. i dont hide my scars for my safety, i hide them because im ashamed.
and when nick killed max and then promptly disappeared into the woods, that was also somehow so out of character in my eyes from him. during grief and in the moments of crushing hopelessness, doesn't everyone want someone?? isnt the obvious reaction supposed to be him coming to bree, and not running away from her?? but that's not what happens yk. i once had a classmate who was not generally the type of person you'd want to be around. he was the type of person who has "trouble" spelt on him in flashing neon red. but after all, we were young, wanted to keep the peace, so i kept the decent communication. he would constantly invade my personal space, unwanted touches, unsolicited comments, it gets annoying. the last straw was when he tried to touch my best friend's schoolbag. i, in a moment of pure rage, threw him against the wall and actually started choking him. when the class managed to get me off of him, he was unconscious. in that moment my bestfriend came to put a hand on my shoulder, i visibly flinched and ran away from there and stayed in the washroom until school was over. this isnt as bad as beheading someone, but the response is familiar. of course he is going to go away rather than come closer; people whose love language is physical touch often have their hate language as isolation. i didnt hurt him purely because he tried to take my bestie's bag, i hurt him because i wanted to. nick didnt kill max purely because he killed his father, he killed him because he wanted to.
there's more of the events where we just kind of make this internal bias that we know what the character is going through and that we would definitely make better decisions, but can you?? do you really think you can or you're just overestimating yourself or underestimating the actual thing going on with the character??
i have made this mistake too, i know. i have taken some time to reflect back though and now i can say that yes i have made harsh judgements too. i am changing that tho because i've got a lottt of time to sit down and think and yeah i guess we all need it time to time.
what im trying to say is, things are not black and white. its a spectrum, there's dark grey light grey. it's a lot. and until and unless you are capable of putting yourself in that type of situation or closer, it's better to not make concrete opinions. shit happens and people do things, real life people are just that, people.
anyways this was a long rant i probably lost my point halfway through but okay whateva
#the legendborn cycle#legendborn cycle#legendborn#bloodmarked#oathbound#tracy deonn#briana matthews#bree matthews#selwyn kane#selwyn emrys kane#nick davis#nicholas davis
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A–Aventio TGCF idea?? Wherein Civil God Veritas Ratio meets the infamous Ghost King Aventurine during his first mission cuz cuz like— The "live for me" paralels?!? The one who has all the luck partner as well?!? The villain who was actually not the Villain this whole time!?!? The loving humanity a little too much it causes their downfall !?!?!?
Rant AU in the tags proceed with caution
#Okay to put it into better words:#Veritas having once being a prince wanted to give everyone the prosperity of knowledge and became a civil god in the pursuit of it.#Sadly this backfires in people using that knowledge for their own greed and creating civil wars within it as well as unleashing far more#Destruction upon the land. And the other gods didn't help Veritas in stopping that bc see that's what happens when people overshare info!!#So the aftermath is just pure chaos plus banishment from being a civil god and thrown as this god of war and plague.#800 years passes and he is seen to just still be doing the same things but I a simple term. Teaching people to read and count.#Often times taking up mission and doing research on new pathogens to help cure the sick that can't afford and somehow during a reading#Lecture he gets ascended back to godhood and everyone is like ??? And even he is like ???#Well he doesn't care much about it and just continues to do what he's always done. Except that once in a while he has to take a detour#Mission to deal with ghosts and other malignant spirits. And upon one of those recurrences he finds himself aquaintanced with#The infamous Ghost King Aventurine. Who is mostly feared in heaven due to having beaten the strongest and wisest at their own games. Even#When the odds where fully against him.#As for Aventurine.#His life was harsh but as the prince had given a lot to the people#Not just education but also free them of diseases and sickness. One of which had struck his sister. He liked the prince and wanted to#Follow in giving and protecting the prosperity of the former kingdom. But the good things did not last and his family was struck in between#The many wars that took place. No matter how much refuge Kakavasha and his sister sought no place was ever#Safe enough for them.#He watched the entire world go up in flames yet somehow he could hate the prince-god for it. But rather the people who had started to#Create weapons in his name. The rest of his years he spent it as a warrior slave and then when death reached him he couldn't even go to#The afterlife since he still held so much vigor and wanted revenge to all the people who had turned his land into ashes and his family#Into bones. That is why he became a mourning ghost.#(I didn't want the kakavasha story to be so centered on ratio like it is in tgcf. Because I think it will be fun for the two of them to#Not recognize each other at first after 800 years and then when they do. Rather when aven does he's full on: oh shit it's the cute prince—#As for who was the cause of the upheaval in the kingdom and the maker of the weapons. Idk I was debating there being more than just one#Antagonist to have pulled their strings in verita's kingdom as well as be the reason Aven's sister died. So he's more revenge seeking for t#And the genius society as civil gods just spoke to me it for so perfectly. Ling wen as Ruan mei? Yeah exactly.#ratiorine#Aventio#Dr ratio
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Gah, I love this so much!!! And Colter definitely gives fuckboi vibes lol. But his characters kind of always do 😂🤷♀️
You slipped out an airplane shot you had snuck into your jacket pocket that you swiped from the drink cart as it passed by during your aisle seat fun
I’m absolutely in love with this reader! I don’t know how Russell couldn’t be. They’re a total match 🥰
“No, really. We ran into a situation and we tried to free him when these cops saw us and—”
God, I’d kill to know the full donkey story. It gave “Jason” from Good Place vibes 😂
I loved the banter between all three of them! The Shaws felt so perfectly in character with their answers and mannerisms. And holy, what a lucky girl getting the honor to see both those ridiculously hot men naked. I mean, hello?! 🫠
And why did it have to be this guy who was watching you like the Big Bad Wolf, looking like he would gobble you up the second you’d let him?
Dead 🤣🤣
Also, the “hotter things in my mouth” line killed me 😂 Have I mentioned I love her? Because I do lol
On your way, you spied a young family nearby. The mother was feeding a baby, smiling as she watched her husband spin his kindergarten-age daughter in circles by the arms, making her giggle. You felt an all-too familiar lump forming in your throat but you forced it back down
So curious what that is about! And that little engagement bomb drop… Truly wondering what happened there 👀
“Alright, you already gave me the sit rep on you and the lawyer. Now I need one for you and her.” He gestured in the direction you had disappeared in with his thumb. “And don’t hold back because she is…” He gave his brother the perfection sign.
I can’t with him 😂😂 Also, how much time do you have, Russ? Colter has a lot of female contacts in his phone lol
And sweet of Colter wanting to protect her, but she seems like a smart woman who can make her own choices 😉
You decided to nip this shit right in the bud. “Okay, Shaw, you listen to me and you listen good. It doesn’t matter if it’s hitting too close as you put it, or not. I do my job and nothing gets in the way of that. Just because your asshat of a brother has apparently decided that I’m some fragile flower of a woman that needs protecting from my own feelings doesn’t mean shit. I’m damn good at what I do and I’m a fucking professional. You hear me?”
This exactly!!! Loved this entire paragraph 😅🫶
When he had answered you with “Yes, ma’am” a part of him had definitely been saluting you, no doubt about it.
I kind of had a feeling about this. You and I share the same headcanon, girl 😂🩵
That ending was amazing!!! “No limits” broke me! That was genius! All the kudos to you for this one, friend! It was hilarious, intriguing, so hot 😍👏👏👏
Off Limits
Summary: When Reenie sends you to assist Colter with whatever he needs after getting arrested for breaking into a morgue in Virginia, you meet his older brother Russell for the first time. There's some flirting and definitely a mutual attraction there before you Colter sends you off. Little do you know at the time that Colter has warned Russell that you're off limits and that Russell has no intention of listening to said warning.
Pairing: Russell Shaw x Female!Reader; Russell Shaw x Female!PI!Reader
A/N: So I've had this idea in my head since I first saw the episode (and that whole food truck scene) and finally sat down to start writing it May 19th, the day we were all hoping Russell would return for 1x13 (no spoilers). I did change up the ending of 1x12 a little here. By the way, I love Colter and I'm only a few episodes into the season but he kind of gives a little fuckboi vibe to me (meant affectionately of course) so I decided to kind of play on that a little here. Not that Russell also doesn't seem to have that vibe here a little bit. (again, meant as affectionate) 😉 I may write a follow up to this to fill in/shade in more areas mentioned in here.
Anyways, this was a lot of fun to write and try to practice ratcheting up the UST a little between two characters. I'm not sure if I succeeded but it was still fun to try. 🥵
All unbeta'd.
Song while writing: Coming For You - Nuela Charles (you can probably guess what scene I was envisioning/writing with this one 🤷♀️)
Warnings: sexual tension; flirting; a little smut; language
Word Count: 9357
Taglist: @avada-kedavra-bitch-187; @rieleatiel
Jensen Taglist: @samanddeaninatrenchcoat; @deansbbyx
You can also read on AO3
You pulled up to the area where two food trucks sat and tables were scattered throughout the center of it all. You quickly recognized Colter sitting there, eating, talking to someone sitting across from him. You softly groaned at the incessant pounding in your head, tenderly rubbing your forehead. Why had Reenie charged you with this? True, you owed her a favor (or four) but still, getting on a plane with only thirty minutes notice, no time to pack an overnight bag, and her insistence that you go and assist Colter with whatever he needed was a bit much. Even for her.
But here you were, dressed in yesterday’s clothes, your hair up in a messy ponytail after you quickly combed your fingers through it, and feeling scuzzy after a long night spent on planes. That’s right. Planes as in plural. Reenie hadn’t even sprung for a non-connecting flight, though she’d tried to chalk it up to none of those being available when she’d booked the trip for you ASAFP. You’d been stuck in coach the entire time, which was fine (you were more than used to it) but you’d had the middle seat and then the aisle seat — both seating arrangements were pure hell. Needless to say, you may have indulged at the airport bar in between flights and ordered drinks while on both, putting it on your business card that you immediately wrote off as travel expenses in your head. Especially when one of the guys you were sitting next to (who thought he was the next young Robert DeNiro apparently) was intent on making conversation, filling you in on his romantic and sexual history (relayed through a ton of bad implied jokes of course), as if he thought that would be a selling point for you to immediately want to induct him into the mile high club (there was no way he was a member despite his many stories hinting to the contrary). No thank you. Not ever.
Thankfully, you were able to pick up some essentials when you finally arrived at your destination and used the airport bathrooms for a little clean up before grabbing a rental car. You still felt gross and in need of a shower, but you’d manage until you did what you came here to do and then your time would be your own again. You were sure you’d get a shower and a change of clothes somewhere in between there.
So while the alcohol helped to ease the tension your sudden trip created, you were badly hungover. Yep, sadly you were at that age where if you even looked at a drink, you’d get a headache the next day. So while you had maintained a nice buzz, you were now paying for it. You took a deep breath, slipped on your sunglasses, and got out of the car.
Colter saw you coming, surprise fleeting across his expression, before turning his full attention on you when you sat down next to him. “Oof. Rough night?”
Your answer was to flip him the bird which made him chuckle. You then yanked out the folder of files Reenie had thrown into a travel case for you and slapped it all down next to him. “There. Directly from Reenie. With my compliments. Not that I don’t have my own cases to work,” you finished in a mumble. You snatched his coffee, ignoring his frown, and took a deep gulp. You made an immediate face. “Ugh. How do you still drink this shit?”
“It’s coffee,” he informed you as he began peeking at the files.
“I know. How do you not put anything in it? Do you like the taste of bitter ass first thing in the morning? Wait, don’t answer that.” You slipped out an airplane shot you had snuck into your jacket pocket that you swiped from the drink cart as it passed by during your aisle seat fun, beyond desperate to ignore the chatty Cathy next to you (her name had literally been Cathy as you’d found out against your will). You immediately lifted the lid and dumped in the contents, picking up a fry from Colter’s plate and using that to stir things around quickly before tossing it in the grass behind you. You ignored the “hey!” sounding not too far from where the fry had most likely landed and took a generous sip of the warm liquid, nearly heaving a sigh of satisfaction as it settled into your stomach. Not exactly the hair of the dog but it would do for now.
Colter was shaking his head, watching you, and you immaturely stuck your tongue out at him, about to tell him to blow you when you heard a chuckle across the table. You turned to see the guy Colter had been talking to grinning over at you, amusement clear as day on his face. You lowered your glasses slightly and took in his features, noting his obvious attractiveness, and you would be loathe to admit that you wouldn’t mind meeting him in an airplane bathroom had he been the one sitting next to you on that ghastly flight. Almost as if he knew what you were thinking, his smile grew and those green eyes lit up in a way that was all too familiar to you, and also had you wondering if there were any public bathrooms around here that you could slip away to for a bit. After the long night you’d had, an orgasm or two might just be what the doctor ordered.
You pushed your glasses back into position and gave him a smile right back. “And who’s this?”
Before Colter could answer, the man stuck out a hand towards you. “Russell Shaw, Colter’s older brother.”
Your smile dropped as your hopes were immediately dashed. Fuck. Not only was he hot in a very rugged type of way (right up your alley actually not that you’d ever admit that out loud) but he seemed like he would’ve been game for what you were up for, too. Dammit. You forced yourself to shake his hand and not be rude, all the while trying your best not to think about what those hands could do or how that rough, warm skin would feel like against yours. “Y/N Y/L/N.”
The light in his eyes burned brighter. “Y/N. That is a beautiful name.”
You couldn’t contain the eye roll at the obviously bad pickup line. Perhaps it was best that he was Colter’s brother. Not that you would’ve been doing much talking if he wasn’t, so his flirting skills wouldn’t have mattered. “So I’ve heard.” You cut that off at the knees. “Russell Shaw,” you drew out his name, remembering something Reenie had mentioned before you went through airport security. You yanked out another folder from your case, slapping it down in front of him. “Reenie insisted that I give you this and told me to tell you that you owe her quite a bit for taking care of those fines from Fish & Wildlife and something about a donkey in Tuscaloosa?” You glanced up at him in question.
He chuckled, sounding nervous, and gave you a reassuring smile. “That’s not— The donkey thing was a misunderstanding.”
Right. “Oh, I’m sure.”
“No, really. We ran into a situation and we tried to free him when these cops saw us and—”
You held up a hand. “I really don’t need the details. It’s fine. But Reenie did say you should Venmo her.”
He pressed his lips together and dropped his gaze to the papers, nodding. “Sure. I’ll get right on that.” You studied him as he studied the paperwork and despite the suspicious donkey thing and your decision to already back off, you kind of wished he would get right on you.
You heard a throat clearing next to you and turned to find Colter glancing between you, that frown on his face again. You couldn’t help but roll your eyes once more. Whatever, Colter had no business looking like that. He’d had his chance and he’d fucked it up, royally. Instead of giving that pretend jealousy shit the time of day, you snatched a few more fries off of his plate and glanced back and forth between the two men as you chewed. “You two look nothing alike, by the way.”
“He should be so lucky,” Russell teased his brother before turning that smile back on you. You almost wished you hadn’t indulged in an all night booze fest and had a fresh change of clothes. You must look like a wreck right now, more than what you’d seen in the rearview mirror earlier, and you probably smelled like one, too. Desperately trying to tamp down the images popping into your brain of this man underneath you and those hands of his gripping onto your hips, you stole more fries from the plate near you.
“Seriously, Y/N, why don’t you just go get your own food? The trucks are right there.” Colter hated it when you did this which is exactly why you did it.
You arched a brow over at him as you chewed. “You buying?” When he didn’t answer fast enough, you snatched even more fries from him. “Didn’t think so.”
“I am,” Russell interjected, smirking over at you. “Just tell me what you’d like and I’d be more than happy to get it for you.”
His voice deepened on that last part and it made parts of you clench. You bet he would. Why the fuck did Colter have to have a brother? And why did it have to be this guy who was watching you like the Big Bad Wolf, looking like he would gobble you up the second you’d let him? Who had a roguish grin to match? Besides, based on what Reenie had said during your quick interlude at the airport, Colter’s brother had been hitting on her big time. She had warned you to tread carefully due to his connection to this case Colter was looking into. That his brother might try to charm his way into peeking at the files for his brother that you were carrying among other things, but this information was meant to go strictly into Colter’s hands. You were almost insulted at her implying that you weren’t a damn professional and that you were so easily led by your libido (it had been almost six months which was a damn drought for you). It was almost as if she knew you too well (she did).
Even though you didn’t plan on going there, at all, you couldn’t resist, lifting your sunglasses to your head, not caring how bloodshot or tired your eyes looked. “Anything I’d like?”
He leaned forward slightly. “Whatever you want,” he promised, the look in his gaze making the same vow but for something completely different.
You leaned forward, too. “Well, in that case…” When you noticed him moving an inch more towards you, hanging onto what you would say next, you grabbed his box of fries out from underneath him. You smirked triumphantly and plucked a fry in between your fingers, popping it into your mouth.
Instead of getting annoyed like Colter had, he quietly laughed and seemed plenty entertained as he watched you pick up another fry that had red sauce partially covering it. “I should warn you. I’m a sriracha on fries kind of guy.”
You glanced at the fry and then back at him, shrugging. “Oh, I’ve had way hotter things in my mouth than this, trust me.” You never broke eye contact as you slipped the fry past your lips, not reacting in the slightest when the spicy taste came into contact with your tongue. Russell’s eyes darkened and you had the distinct feeling that if you weren’t in public right now and Colter wasn’t here, you’d be at serious risk of him testing that theory.
“Okay,” Colter interrupted. “Let’s focus on the case, please.” He almost sounded irritated which made you glance over to see him glaring in both yours and Russell’s direction. You laughed to yourself and continued eating your stolen fries and sipping your modified version of an Irish coffee. As much as Colter’s annoyance amused you, you were also grateful that he was reminding you why you were there. You needed to get your horny ass in check.
“So this is everything Reenie could find on them?” He asked.
You shrugged. Reenie hadn’t exactly given you all the particulars and you assumed that was purposeful on her part for whatever the reason. Not that it bothered you in the slightest; you had your own shit to worry about. Besides, she also implied Colter would fill you in on everything once you caught up with him.
He looked displeased and then shook his head at you. “Why did she even bother sending you?”
You got angry then. How dare he? It’s not like you wanted to be sent on this fun little errand at the whims of the lawyer who was hellbent on helping him at every turn. “Hey. I traveled on two annoying ass flights to get here, dealing with chatty old ladies and misogynistic perverts, to hand deliver you this shit and to assist wherever I can. Without any warning or time to even pack a toothbrush, I might add. All while I have my own caseload to work on, thank you very much. To help you out and fast. So how about a goddamn thank you instead of whatever this is?” You gestured towards him. He went to reply, but you cut him off. “And while you’re turning that ungrateful frown upside down, why don’t you tell me what exactly it is you’re working on?”
Russell spoke up then, prompting you to look over at him. “A buddy of mine went missing and we’re trying to track him down. His wife called me and asked me to look into it. Colter’s helping.”
That quelled your irritation slightly and you pressed your lips together. You could only imagine how sick with worry this guy’s wife must be; you knew that feeling all too well. “I’m sorry to hear it,” you offered, your tone as genuine and sympathetic as you could make it. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see Colter watching you, his frown gone, now replaced by the same sympathy you were feeling. You hated it so you decided to ignore it. “How long ago did he go missing?”
“A few days back. He was returning home after a grocery store run but he disappeared from a gas station while filling up.”
Your brows furrowed. “Taken?”
Russell shook his head. “No. He ran off. It looked like someone may have been after him.”
Colter slid over the file to you, nodding when you glanced at him questioningly. “Doug Thompson. Former military. Now working for these guys as a private contractor.” Well, now Reenie’s explicit instructions made more sense.
You opened the file and skimmed the papers as quickly as you could. “Wow,” you murmured. “So these guys are no joke.”
“No, they’re not.” You glanced up to find Russell watching you, all traces of any flirtation and humor gone. “But I don’t think they have anything to do with it. I would’ve heard something if they did.”
Your brows arched in surprise, hearing what he wasn’t exactly saying. “You’re working with them, too?”
He gave you a nod. “I am. We do mostly private security, that kind of thing.”
Out of the corner of your eye, you could see the disbelief in Colter’s expression. He wasn’t buying it either. “Which is code for black ops, am I right?”
Russell tensed. Bingo.
“Which means that whether or not they’re responsible, they’re most likely connected to what’s happening. If someone was really after your friend.”
His jaw tightened. “What makes you say that? It could be anyone.”
You shot him a look and shut the file. “Because I was engaged to someone who did this kind of thing and I know how these things work.”
You watched as his eyes widened slightly and he leaned forward, curious. “Was?”
Ignoring that question and no longer as curious about him, you tossed the file back over to Colter. “Bottom line is this firm is where you should be looking first. Carefully, though. We both know how they like to keep their secrets.” You gave him a thin-lipped smile and sipped your coffee, slipping your sunglasses back on and getting up to head over to the food truck behind him. On your way, you spied a young family nearby. The mother was feeding a baby, smiling as she watched her husband spin his kindergarten-age daughter in circles by the arms, making her giggle. You felt an all-too familiar lump forming in your throat but you forced it back down and continued your trek, coming to a stop at the back of a short line, intending on getting your own food. You weren’t really hungry but you needed a few minutes to regain your bearings before you could switch back into professional mode and be of any help to the brothers.
By the time you returned, Colter sent you a sympathetic glance which you promptly ignored and dug into the case as well as your meal.
Colter sighed when your car pulled away. He had insisted you go check into a room and clean up while he and Russell made some calls, did some digging, and he would call you if something turned up. You had been only too happy to agree.
Russell turned back to him, after watching you drive off. “Oh, I like her.”
“Of course you do,” Colter muttered.
“Alright, you already gave me the sit rep on you and the lawyer. Now I need one for you and her.” He gestured in the direction you had disappeared in with his thumb. “And don’t hold back because she is…” He gave his brother the perfection sign.
Colter shook his head and wiped his hands with a napkin. “There really isn’t anything to report there, either. We had a…weekend about a year back when I was working a case in her town. Then I got a new case in the next state over and we went our separate ways. Nothing ever came of it.”
Russell continued chewing his fries that you had returned before you left, thinking it over. “There seems to be quite a bit of hostility between you two for just a casual weekend.”
Colter folded his arms on the table. “We didn’t end on the best terms.”
His brother chuckled, taking a sip of his coffee. “Bit of an understatement.” He then wiped his hands clean, too. “So, she’s fair game then, I take it?”
Colter shot him a glare. “No, she’s not. She’s off limits, too.”
“Come on, bro. You already said the lawyer was off limits.” He gave Colter a look. “Are you telling me you’ve got a thing for both of them? Because if you do, I wouldn’t blame you. They’re both—”
“It’s not like that,” Colter interrupted. “With Y/N, it’s… She’s been through a lot.”
Russell nodded and glanced back down at his food. “Yeah, I caught that.”
“The last thing she needs right now is a reminder of any of it.” Russell glanced up to catch Colter eyeing him sharply.
Russell got the message. He hadn’t addressed it at the time but he hadn’t missed it when you claimed to know how companies like Horizon worked or that you had been engaged to someone who worked for one of them. There was obviously a story there. And that combined with your change in demeanor when he mentioned Doug’s disappearance, you referring to your engagement in the past tense, and Colter’s protectiveness of you — Russell had a pretty good idea of what probably happened. It didn’t mean he didn’t like you, though. If he wasn’t mistaken, he had gotten the impression that you had liked him, too. But in the same vein, until he knew what he was working with, he didn’t want to do anything that might cause you to relive anything that you’d rather forget.
“You don’t plan to call her to help with any of this, do you?”
Colter shook his head.
Russell studied his brother, determining if that was the best option here. You were a PI and a damned good one if Reenie Green had sent you to help. It was obvious from his short interactions with the woman that she didn’t suffer fools and there wasn’t a single thing she missed. So he knew you had to be good at your job. Doug was still missing, Tracy was still worried, and they still weren’t any closer to finding any answers. It might be helpful to include you in this. Another pair of discerning eyes was always a good thing. In the end, though, Russell decided against saying anything. Instead, he asked, “So, you sure she’s off limits?” His brother gave him a glare and he couldn’t help but chuckle. “I’m just kidding. I got it. Off limits.”
He also didn’t mention that he had discreetly entered your number into his phone when you inconspicuously slid your business card over to him. At the time, he had thought you were giving him a greenlight to contact you after this was over, but now he realized you probably had known what Colter was going to do all along.
Instead, Russell mentioned the autopsy report he had stolen from the morgue and handed a copy to Colter to peruse. While he studied the paper, Russell discreetly sent you a message so you also had his number and so he could shoot you a text when the time was right.
You were in a store, grabbing some clothes to have for the next few days, not knowing how long you were going to be needed here, when your phone began to ring. One quick glance at the screen had you smirking. Russell Shaw. You had slyly given him your number earlier when Colter wasn’t looking, telling yourself you were making sure you were included in the case so you could do what you were sent here to do. But another smaller part of you had hoped the man would contact you for a whole other reason. You may not have been thrilled to learn what he did for a living but that little fact didn’t have to ruin any possible fun you two could have, right?
Sure, you felt a little guilty because he was Colter’s brother but you were also a realist. There wasn’t anything happening with Colter and whatever had was never going anywhere. Plus that had been well over a year ago. In your mind, you were free as a bird. So, you made a move; now it was up to Russell to make the next one. And you were hoping this was it.
You slid the green button on your screen and put the phone up to your ear. “Russell Shaw,” you greeted, making sure your voice sounded something akin to warm honey slowly drizzling over some fruit. “I had a feeling you’d be calling me.”
“Could it have something to do with me texting you earlier that I’d call as soon as I had an update?”
“Tomato, tohmato.” Hearing his smooth chuckle come down the line, you continued to sift through a rack of shirts. “So, what can I do for you?”
“A lot it sounds like, if I’m being honest.” His voice had dipped in register much the same way it had in your presence before but the effect it had being spoken directly into your ear like this…well, it was a good thing you had already grabbed a half dozen pairs of panties to have on hand. While it took you a second to recover, you couldn’t help but smile. You had been right earlier; he was definitely interested.
A woman walked right past you and you lowered your voice further. “Do you plan to find out?”
“You bet your ass I will. As soon as I’m free to.”
Fuck. If you weren’t in the middle of a store right now, you may have just asked him to start talking dirty to you right there. You had only been on the phone with him for less than a minute and already you were digging your teeth into your lip to keep a guttural moan from escaping you. This man had you so turned on you were surprised that you could still see straight or that you hadn’t run to the dressing room to temporarily alleviate the fire he had started in your belly that was blazing a trail down in between your legs. That voice and the way he was using it right now…it was pure liquid sex being poured into your ear. Your irritation with Reenie had abated some when you met him, now it was all but gone as were any warnings she gave you about the man as well as the thought of his younger brother. “Good. I’m going to hold you to that.”
“Oh, I hope you do.” That didn’t make you clench down on nothing, not at all. If this continued, you would be in that dressing room in the next thirty seconds, guaranteed. You were already starting to get seriously aroused at the images playing in your head.
“Trust me, there will definitely be some type of holding going on,” you promised.
“Don’t I know it,” he nearly growled into your ear. Holy… That was it. You were on your way to the dressing room. The sign said only three items were allowed at a time but you didn’t give a fuck at the bulkload of items in your arm; this was an emergency.
But what he said next after quietly clearing his throat had you stopping in your tracks. “As much as I’d love to continue this conversation, I only have a limited window of time. But I promise, we will pick this up later.”
You nearly let out a whine of disappointment. You very much wanted to continue this conversation right now but it slowly was coming back to you that yes, there was currently a missing persons case that was supposed to be your first priority. His missing friend in fact. Your brain knew that was more important though your body was screaming for something else. He had promised though that you would continue this later, something you could keep in your mind’s eye at the end of this very long and fucked up rainbow. As long as he dove into your pot of gold at the end, you could hold out a few more hours. “You better,” you grumbled.
Another warm chuckle floated down the line.
You turned to another rack of shirts, aggressively working your way through it. “So you said something about an update?”
“Yeah.” You had to admire how quickly he switched gears. While you were still struggling to get your libido under control and you were irritated, he sounded completely professional and nonplussed, as if he hadn’t been just talking to you with that tone of voice or implying what he wanted later on. “I reached out to one of my contacts and we think Doug might be hiding out in a location outside of town. We’re on our way there now to check it out.”
Shame immediately filled you at the mention of his friend. Here you were, horny as hell, about to go take care of yourself in the dressing room a minute ago and possibly ask him to tell you in explicit detail what he’d like to be doing to you if he were there, and Doug was still missing. You were more professional than that — hell, you knew better than that. You shook off the remnants of the last few minutes and went right into work mode. “Alright, you want me to come along for backup?”
“I’d love to have you back us up, but, uh…”
You frowned at the uncertainty suddenly coating his tone. He wasn’t one of those guys, was he? That would be severely disappointing if he was and quite the mood killer, not to mention his third strike against him. You needed to get laid but not that badly. Though you hadn’t gotten the impression that he was one of those misogynistic assholes who thought a woman didn’t know her way around the big scary noisemakers known as guns earlier. “But what?” You snapped.
“Colter thinks you should sit this one out.”
Your jaw tightened and you quickly moved away from the mother and daughter that had just moved near you, lowering your voice. “That motherf— I don’t give a flying fuck what Colter thinks. I am not being sidelined.” You fucking knew it. The minute you had heard what the actual case was, seeing Colter’s gaze of sympathy directed at you — you fucking knew he would try to pull this shit.
“I think he’s just worried about you. You know? After what you’ve been through…”
That pulled you up short. “Exactly what did he tell you?”
“Uh, not much. He just thought this kind of situation might hit a little too close to home.”
You muttered a curse under your breath and made your way to the cashier. Fucking Colter. You knew you should have never told him about what happened with your fiance. He was the type of guy who would keep that in mind every time something like this came up. Hell, you were pretty sure that was partially the reason he had bounced out of your apartment so fast at the end of the long weekend you’d spent together. Sure, he had snagged another case, but you would never forget the look in his eyes as he quickly dressed — the same look you had seen at lunch earlier. At that time, you had liked Colter and you didn’t think your past would be something that could be held against you. Even though your time together had been strictly casual, he had talked to you about his father a little bit and he had seen a picture of Nate in your living room. What were you supposed to do when he asked you about it? Lie? After he had just shared something so personal with you? After he had slept with you four times thus far? You weren’t ashamed of your time with Nate and you had loved the man, been ready to spend the rest of your life with him before he lost his. That was just a tragic fact in your life. Never in a million years did you imagine that not only would it kick someone out your door so fast but now it would prevent you from being able to do your job.
“Is it?”
You had completely forgotten you were still on the phone, silently fuming about this sudden development. “Is it what?” You dumped your clothes on the counter and gave a nod to the cashier in return when she greeted you.
“Is it hitting a little too close?”
You decided to nip this shit right in the bud. “Okay, Shaw, you listen to me and you listen good. It doesn’t matter if it’s hitting too close as you put it, or not. I do my job and nothing gets in the way of that. Just because your asshat of a brother has apparently decided that I’m some fragile flower of a woman that needs protecting from my own feelings doesn’t mean shit. I’m damn good at what I do and I’m a fucking professional. You hear me?” You handed the woman your credit card, noticing she was giving you an approving nod. You had forgotten that she was hearing every word of this side of the conversation.
“Yes, ma’am.”
That was all you wanted to hear. “Good. Now, when are you going to send me that location so I can meet you?” You took the bag from the cashier, quietly thanking her, and made your way out of the store.
“Tell you what. We’re only about thirty minutes out. From where you are, it’s about an hour and a half drive. Why don’t you let us check it out first and if it’s no dice, you can meet us on the way back into town? We’ll regroup and work it together from there on out.”
You tossed your bag in the backseat of your car. “Shaw,” you growled. “What did I just say?”
“This isn't that,” he assured you. “It’s a matter of us working against the clock. We’ve got to get to Doug before the guys looking for him do. That’s all this is.”
You placed a hand on your hip and unclenched your jaw. He had a point and you also heard what he wasn’t saying: you racing up there to meet them would only slow them down and Doug couldn’t afford that. “Alright, is there anything I can do to help from here?”
“Not at the moment but keep your phone on. Depending on how this goes, we may need to lock down an address and quickly. And for that, we’re going to need you. I’m assuming you have an FBI contact somewhere?”
You pressed your lips together and got into your car. “I know someone,” you confirmed. “He owes me a favor or two.”
“I really want to say something right now at the idea of you and favors and me being the one to close out that guy’s tab but I can’t. My window of time is closing in about fifteen seconds.”
You smirked, shaking your head. “Pretty sure you just did.”
He cleared his throat one more time, affecting an even more professional tone than you’d heard from him thus far. “Got to go. Keep your phone on. I’ll text you as soon as I know what the situation is.”
“Okay, will do.” You briefly closed your eyes, deciding the hell with it. “And, Russell?”
“Yeah?”
“Be careful,” you quietly urged, digging your teeth into your bottom lip. Despite what you said to him before, hearing speak in a way that was similar to Nate had your nerves sitting a little bit on edge, now knowing what he and his friend Doug did for a living and what he and Colter could possibly be walking into.
“Copy that,” he responded, making you realize that his limited window of time he mentioned had expired and he was no longer alone. Sure enough, you could hear the sounds of a car door shutting in the background.
“Keep me updated.”
“Will do. Talk soon.” Before you could say anything else, the line disconnected. Even though you’d heard the confirmation of why he had to go so quickly, a part of you irrationally worried for a second that you had probably scared him off. That your warning him to be careful only cemented whatever Colter had said about you to him and why the former wanted to keep you sidelined. You had meant what you said earlier; you were a professional and your personal tragedies would never get in the way of your job. But that didn’t mean that an age-old worry you’d had every time Nate had gone to work didn’t immediately resurface the minute you were faced with a similar situation. And even though you were pissed at Colter, you also didn’t want him to get hurt.
The moment you figured you had screwed yourself with Russell, and not in the good way, an alert sounded on your phone. You glanced at your screen and saw a new text message from the very man you had just been thinking about.
“We’ve got this. I’ll text you the minute we’re done checking it out.”
A small smile formed on your face and you texted back a genuine “Thank you”. You forced yourself to take a deep breath and get your head back in the game. You still had to find a motel to check into and you also had to be ready in case they did end up needing that address Russell had mentioned. You quickly looked up motels on your phone, weeding out the ones with the worse reviews, and settling on a place. You fired up Google Maps and started the car, intent on getting a room and firing up your laptop to check on a few cases to keep you busy while you were waiting. That had always been the worst part for you: the waiting. Waiting for a phone call or text to let you know Nate was okay after a job even though he couldn’t tell you the details of said job. So you were determined to place your focus elsewhere but also be ready in case you were needed.
You truly hoped the brothers found Doug alive at this location they were headed to and that the danger, if any, was minimal. That it was truly nothing the two couldn’t handle together.
Russell quickly hung up with you the minute Colter hopped back into his truck. His brother had stopped to get some coffee at Russell’s insistence though Colter had kept repeating they shouldn’t be stopping. When the latter didn’t immediately get out to go get the beverages after they parked, Colter arched his brows expectantly. Russell had given him a wide smile. “Mind getting it quick?” He waved his phone at the man, indicating he needed to make a call.
Colter looked less than pleased but gave him a nod, most likely assuming it was a call to one of Russell’s contacts that should remain unknown as his older brother had intended, and left. Russell removed his sunglasses and immediately pressed the phone icon next to your name, calling you.
Now, he definitely knew three things: you had lost someone to this type of work, you were a little bit of a spitfire and he liked you even more now, and he was definitely going to pay you a visit after he closed up this whole thing with Doug and got the man back to his wife in one piece.
Sure, when he’d first seen you, you had been somewhat hostile but entertaining and you’d been a hot mess. One hell of a hot mess in his opinion. Then you’d been flirty, checking him out, and you had even stolen his fries to use them for implications that definitely hadn’t been lost on him (or Colter for that matter, the glare his brother graced you with when you weren’t looking he hadn’t seen since they were kids). Though he’d clocked your change in demeanor when Doug’s situation was brought up and hadn’t missed your evading his question about your engagement status, he couldn’t resist eyeing you up as you walked over to the food truck behind him, nearly whistling at the perfection he was staring at. Not to mention, he liked your spunk and that only made him want you that much more. Then when you plopped back down with your food, completely in professional mode and talking over the case quickly before Colter sent you off, he was even more impressed and he just knew he had to take his shot with you. Under him, over him, to the side of him — whatever you wanted, he was game. No matter what Colter had to say on the matter. Unless his brother had feelings for you, he was going for it the first chance he got.
Colter handed him his coffee, nodding at Russell’s thanking him. “You get anything?”
“Nothing more than we already know.” He placed his sunglasses back on and sipped at his coffee, feeling slightly bad for lying to his brother. He knew Colter’s “off limits” was more about protecting you than it was anything else. But he also had just gotten his brother to start talking to him again, to work Doug’s disappearance with him, and he didn’t want to do anything to jeopardize that. Nothing within reason, anyway. So a little white lie needed to be told; he’d done it before and way worse. Besides, he also didn’t think it was fair that Colter didn’t allow you the decision of whether you wanted to be involved in this or not. While he could appreciate his little brother looking out for you like the good man he’d turned out to be, everyone deserved to make their own well-informed choices. Considering your ex had been former military turned private contractor, you more than knew what you were dealing with. You had made a good point earlier: your history shouldn’t impact the job you had come here to do. And far be it from Russell to be the one to stand in your way and keep you from doing just that. Plus, they could really use your help if this safehouse Ann had given them didn’t pan out.
Colter nodded and backed out of the parking spot. “Onward to the safe house. No more stops, right?”
“Right,” Russell confirmed. While Colter was distracted, he discreetly adjusted himself. There had been a moment in your conversation there that he had been tempted to tell you just how hard your sexy-as-hell voice and heavy flirtation had gotten him. But he knew once he did that, there would be no going back and either he’d have to jerk off in his brother’s truck (which would just be awkward especially if Colter returned quickly) or he’d have to somehow sneak into the coffee shop and make his way to the bathrooms so he could rub one out in there. Though that might also prove to be awkward if anyone else walked in to overhear the absolutely filthy things he would be murmuring into your ear from a stall, all of the promises he’d make about what he wanted to do to that sweet body of yours as soon as he had the chance, the sounds of him whacking it echoing loudly in the small space along with his deep groans. There had even been once or twice he’d gently rubbed the bulge in his jeans as you talked, only backing off when it got to be too much and he was about to break, close to ordering you to go somewhere private where you could touch yourself as well while also making sure you could be loud enough so he could hear every amazing sound he knew you would make. Hell, when you’d laid down the law to him, he’d nearly unzipped his jeans and stuck his hand inside to get some relief right there. Not that he didn’t hear what you were saying, not that he didn’t respect it or you, but damn if that little bit of fire you’d thrown his way didn’t turn him on even more. When he had answered you with “Yes, ma’am” a part of him had definitely been saluting you, no doubt about it.
Then he heard someone talking to you in the background, presumably a store clerk since it sounded like you had been told an amount for whatever you were buying. He had the quick thought, or hope, that maybe you were in a Victoria’s Secret or one of those places, buying a little something for him to unwrap you out of later on. Realizing just how much lust had fogged up his brain during this conversation, he dropped his head back against the seat, shut his eyes, and compulsively swallowed. He was immediately determined to keep his cool for the rest of your chat, especially when he opened his eyes to see Colter holding the coffee shop door open for an elderly couple walking inside, coffee cups stacked in his other hand. From there, he’d kept things professional and brief, though he hadn’t been able to resist getting that one last tease in before Colter opened the door.
And then he’d heard your warning, detecting a note of worry in it, so he’d done what he could to reassure you with the text message he just discreetly sent you. He appreciated the fact that while this case might be stirring up some feelings from the past, you still had gone ahead and told him to be safe. He knew it was meant for both him and Colter, you obviously knowing how dangerous the job could be, but he was still getting used to him being included in that group. It was a little strange for him if he was honest. Other than Tracy saying it when he would pick Doug up for a job and the occasional conversation with Dory where he mentioned he was about to go to work, there was no one else who told him to be careful, to be safe. He found he kind of liked the idea and that only increased his appreciation of your situation, especially now having an even better idea of what you might be currently experiencing. He was no stranger to trauma, that was for sure, and so he could only imagine the thoughts racing through your mind right now, you being pissed off at Colter or not, you having just met him or not. He didn’t intend to give you cause for any more worry. No, he intended to give you something else when all was said and done. He couldn’t help but smirk at the thought.
But now — now, it was go time. He needed to clear his head and focus on the job. He needed to get Doug back to his wife alive. Colter had made Tracy a promise that both brothers were intent on keeping. And Russell had made you a promise, one he was determined as hell to see through.
You were just leaving the bathroom wrapped in a towel, your hair damp and sitting on one shoulder after you just squeezed the water out of it, when you heard a knock on your motel room door.
You frowned, wondering who it could be, thinking maybe it was Colter. He always had a way of finding you when that was the last thing you wanted him to do. Truthfully, you had bitched him out earlier when he called you to inform you that he had just successfully delivered Doug back home to his wife, alive and unharmed. He and Russell had found the man at the safehouse and he told them who he had been running from. While Colter didn’t share that information, you gathered from what he did share that it had something to do with a job he and Russell had done for Horizon in the past. You kept your mouth shut but you shook your head. You knew it. Doing that kind of work was always dangerous and always carried risks like that.
They made the long drive back and now the case was closed. Something you already knew thanks to the text message Russell had sent you already confirming this but you didn’t let on to Colter that you knew. Instead, you proceeded to tell him to stop treating you like a fragile porcelain doll and from there it quickly became heated between you two. The conversation ended soon after with neither of you willing to budge and you let out an aggravated sigh when you hit the end call button. You were grateful he and Russell were okay, but the former could drive you up a wall sometimes. If you could go back in time, you would definitely have told him to get lost when he showed up on your doorstep that one Friday night.
That immediately made you think of Russell and you realized you hadn’t texted him back yet. Colter had called right after you received the text message, with you assuming they had just gotten back into an area with service, and he had told you they had Doug and he’d call again when they got him safely home. You had sat on pins and needles, trying to focus on your most prevalent case, but the worry gnawed at you. Colter’s tone had not been his usual calm, devil-may-care one. It was coated with concern, not something you heard from him too often. So you had been distracted until Colter called you again and then the rest was history.
You slid over to Russell’s name on your screen and tried to call him but it went straight to voicemail. A different worry began to gnaw at you this time, the worry that you had indeed scared him off earlier. He had thought twice about it and decided you weren’t worth getting involved with, not even for the casual one night stand. The disappointment sat in your chest for a moment until you got angry. Between the argument with Colter and now Russell bailing on the plans he had implied to you that he wanted to keep, you were done. You hopped up and grabbed the bottle of whiskey you had purchased earlier, twisted off the cap, and took a swig. Well, it looked like it would be another dry night for you and your trip out here had been a complete waste. Colter hadn’t wanted your help and now you weren’t bumping pelvises with his hot older brother either so it was a lose-lose for you. As usual.
You swigged some more whiskey before deciding it was time for that shower you had been craving since this morning. Sure, you could take care of yourself in there and it might ease some of this angry tension in your body that Colter had helped to create, but you were too annoyed. You had angrily slammed your laptop shut and headed for the bathroom, intent on washing all of the bullshit from the last twenty four hours away.
And now, Colter had decided to show up. Of course he had. He might have a thing for Reenie that he refused to acknowledge (as did she), but he was angry (something not usual for him), worked up, and you were in town. Of course he’d show up wanting a repeat performance of the angry sex you’d had in the past. While you could really use the lay to get you out of this drought you found yourself in, you had no desire to go back there and you were definitely not in the mood.
That didn’t mean you wouldn’t give him a tease of what he couldn’t have, though. Not after that argument. Which is exactly why you decided to answer the door dressed (or underdressed) as you were. But when you angrily swung the door open, the person staring back at you in momentary shock was not Colter Shaw. You were shocked yourself; how the hell had he found you?
Russell’s gaze darkened as he took all of you in. You noticed that he had changed his clothes and his hair looked slightly damp, as if he had recently taken a shower himself. “Hey,” he greeted, his voice dipping in register again.
And just like that, as if a button had been pressed with that deep tone of his, you were back in the mood. You smirked and leaned against the door. “Hey,” you silkily replied. “Not the Shaw brother I was expecting.”
“But the one you were hoping for, right?” Russell’s wolfish grin was back, completely undeterred by your teasing.
You pretended to think it over for a moment. “Depends.” You grabbed at his jacket and yanked him in closer to you, making him chuckle as you swung the door shut behind him. “What does this brother plan to do?”
“Like I said,” He used that voice again, making goosebumps rise along your skin. “Whatever you want.”
“Exactly what I wanted to hear.” You lifted up and wrapped your arms around his neck, the movement forcing the towel to fall from your body, as you pushed your lips to his. You ran your fingers through his hair and greedily kissed him, nearly moaning into his mouth when his tongue delved into yours and his hands palmed at your ass. If he moved those fingers a little lower, he would find you already practically dripping for him. If you weren’t so busy trying to keep your balance as he proceeded to devour you, you might have marveled at the effect this man had on your body.
A moment later, he gripped your ass tightly and picked you up, prompting you to wrap your legs around his waist. You could feel the covered bulge against you and you couldn’t help trying to grind a little against it, trying to get some friction.
When you both needed air, you moved to his neck, yanking his head backwards and making him chuckle as you went to town on him. You could also hear him letting out tiny groans above you as he tried to catch his breath. It was one of the hottest fucking things you’d ever heard and you intended on hearing more before the night’s end. “I should tell you before we go any further,” he panted.
“Mmmm, the only thing I need to know is if you’re clean. Because I really want that in my mouth.” You reached below to squeeze his erection, making his breath catch that was then let out in a quiet hiss.
“I-I’m clean,” he assured you.
“Good, me too,” you murmured, nibbling on his ear. “You just need to make sure to pull out and we’re golden.”
“Okay. I, uh, I also came packing.”
You moved your hand over him and squeezed once more, earning another drawn out hiss of “shit”. “You certainly did.”
He moved you back so he could look at you, his eyes the darkest you’d seen them yet. He cupped your cheek, gliding his thumb along your bottom lip before gently placing it inside your mouth against your tongue. You sucked the digit in further, moaning around it. His gaze was so transfixed on your mouth that you couldn’t help but snicker and release his thumb with a pop. “Russell.”
His gaze slowly trailed upwards to meet yours.
“Was there something you wanted to tell me?” You teased as you rubbed earnestly at his erection.
“Uh,” You noticed his eyes close briefly when you rubbed near where the tip was located. You could feel a little wet spot forming on the denim underneath your ministrations and it made you grin. “Uh, Colter said you were off limits.”
Your hand immediately stopped its motion. Oh no, that motherfucker had not. He had no claim to you and whatever moment you two had back in the day had long since passed, along with the several women he’d bedded after you including Reenie. There was no way in hell he got to play the dibs card or tell you and Russell, two consenting adults, what to do. You planned to tell him that the next time you spoke with him, if you ever did again. For now, though, you only wanted to focus on the man whose fingers were hungrily roaming over your bare ass and lower, groaning when he found your own wet spot.
You cupped his chin, making sure he was looking straight at you as you stated in the sexiest voice you could manage, “I think you mean no limits. Right, Russell?”
He groaned and held you to him as he hurriedly walked you over to the bed. “Fuck, I knew I liked you.” You let out a giggle as he tossed you gently onto the bed that was quickly cut off by a moan when his body immediately covered yours and his tongue plundered your mouth.
A sudden thought occurred to you and you nearly chuckled against his lips. You had seen the way he had been eyeing you up earlier today and you realized you had the man completely pegged right then. Because just like the Big Bad Wolf, he proceeded to consume you completely, before the tables turned and you did some devouring of your own.
dividers by @firefly-graphics
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thank you loris for serving ur entire purpose of having vi briefly hallucinate vander in ur place
#arcane tag#it's like. making me think a lot about how they got their dad back after being on their own for so long#or well jinx had silco and technically has sevika and now has/had vi to protect her so she wasn't totally on her own beyond#on her own within her trauma#but with vi she hasn't had anyone to protect her since losing vander#she lost her parents time and time again#and then i guess she did end up with cait taking the shot to protect her in s1#and now she does have ppl like loris i guess but getting vander back#and having vander actively protect his daughters again#rly puts into perspective how alone vi is on that level#idk i just dont know if jinx or vi ever got unconditional love from anyone besides vander (and their bio parents probably)#and i guess one another to an extent#there is something to caitvi evolving into this just complicated politics happening around them#im all out of braincells i cried them out idk#also maybe something to jinx no longer wanting to be protected bc she sees what happens when people do look out for her??#so freeing vi of that even though... girl no <3333#maybe that's her way of protecting her but ough
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my favourite part of season 5 is still the reveal that Gabriel and Tomoe thought Adrien and Kagami made the perfect pair and wanted them to be together because it completely flips their relationship
Kagami and Adrien sneaking around and finding the slightest gaps in their schedule and giving their bodyguards/parents the slip to spend time together and feeling so clever that they’ve gotten away with it their parents don’t suspect a thing
only to smashcut to Gabriel and Tomoe doing an evil pound it because their ship is canon
#miraculous ladybug#ml s5#gabriel agreste#tomoe tsurugi#adrien agreste#kagami tsurugi#it’s the illusion of free choice™#it was a very clever plan tbf like if they told them to date it would be awkward and forced. but put them in the same room together and see#what happens… let them think it was all their idea… boom success!#then the next step is saying ‘yes i only just found out you’ve been dating kagami and i have decided to give you my permission to date her-#what do you mean you broke up a month ago and your dating the baker girl who made a hat for me one time?’#on the flipside though it probably wouldn’t have worked out in the long run bc kagami likes the thrill of a secret forbidden romance like#that’s partially what drove her to felix imo so if tomoe said one day ‘it’s come to my attention you’re dating the agreste boy. i approve o#of this match and have organised a date for you two on friday.’ you Know kagami would immediately go#‘oh no.. okay um so now i’m kind of feeling that everything about him that was attractive to me before isn’t really there anymore…’#also on the flipside like looking at it on a more deeper/serious level like it just goes to show how much control tomoe and gabriel have o#er their kids to the point that they would be willing to manipulate them into a relationship and then when#the two of them tried and realised it wasn’t working. instead of admitting they don’t know their children as well as they think they do#or acknowledging that their children are actual people who have their own feelings that don’t always match their parents#or coming to terms that their children aren’t extensions of their legacy and will that they can puppet however they want#instead they say ‘okay we tried the hands off way now we’ll just have to force them’
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The better I get at crusade management and the midnight fane the worse the end of it is going to hit I can just feel it
#i was thinking about it on the Azata run. Funnily enough Galfrey was twice as harsh but it didn't affect ellu a fraction of as much#idk if that sentence makes sense. anyway#something about support systems I guess#He's trying REALLY hard for that good alignment next to the chaotic#but truth be told he has no idea if he's doing it 'correctly'. he often thinks of them as one and the same#he may have lived the majority of his life (far as he knows) on golarion but alas he is still fey at his core#whatever moral code he has he had to sort of invent and improvise himself#when I say Elluin doesn't think of himself as good it's a combination of that- and also the ingrained idea -#that he's got something inherently wrong with him on account of the *gesturing vaguelyy* mento innes#courtesy of the inquisition etcetera#so again. in azata path he was sort of. well he was uncomfortable being put on the spot and SEEN as good#but once the impostor syndrome died down he took to it as a duck to water#and between Aivu and the free crusaders he was assured enough in his own choices where he could take harsh critique and not bat an eye#well that was just galfrey throwing a fit it happens who cares- onward#but HERE.. here it's just him#it's just him doing his best. And when that best isn't good enough..#well. yeah.#riv finds the path that sure is wrathfully righteous#oc:elluin
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Huh. I wouldn’t have said just having a white man protagonist is expressing conservative values, personally. I’d say more representation would be good, but to me expressing values is more than that. I’d say a storyline expresses values if the game seems to have a message. Do your enemies have a politics? What begins to happen socially within the game’s story as you advance?
Like, I’m thinking right now of half life 2, just because that was the last time I really invested myself in a game with a set plot to the point I remember that plot. And… if playing as a white man who’s pretty heavily implied to be straight is ITSELF “conservative,” we’re done. And maybe we should be. Games that make the choice to give you a look and a name you can’t customize are making a choice.
And if individualism is “conservative values,” I guess HL2 could be expressing them. The enemies are a collective of aliens who’ve taken over, presumably a hive mind, who are pretty much treating humans like slaves. They’re also pretty clearly interested in blunting human emotions and instincts, as shown by the main enemy giving speeches about how it’s good to abandon urges like sexuality and the aliens are here to help, and if we think of conservatives as the people who tend to see themselves as “red blooded men,” that aspect could also be trying to convert people politically.
But I’m not sure American individualism, or any commentary on it that’s positive, is necessarily selling conservative values. What’s more individualist than “hey, if there’s something living in MY womb, I get to kick it out? It’s MY womb!” Or “why SHOULDN’T I be legally permitted to marry everyone in my polycule? The decision should be ours alone.”
So I’d say that to think of HL2 as designed to express conservative values, I’d need some more than just “individuals being able to live their own lives is good, so fuck tyranny.”
What I would say would really make it an effort to convert people to conservative values would be… well. That’s kind of hard to say, as I’ve never found the right particularly internally consistent (ti be fair I’m sure they notice our inconsistencies too!), but things like:
Meritocracy. The best rise to the top. The least try to stop them, but being inferior, only manage it for so long, or only manage it through strength in numbers. When the least do this, they make society worse, and so they must be overthrown. Sometimes even for their own good.
Reject modernity. Embrace tradition.
Families and communities should look a particular way. New ideas of a utopia where people take on new social roles are suspect, and probably a way to trick people into some kind of oppression.
Corporate/subset: Happiness is discovering your true, natural gender. (And your true, natural straightness to match.) It might be understandable you’d doubt it at first, but over the course of the story you begin to notice your doubts were stirred up by people with agendas. The traditional social roles of men and women are designed as they are because they are the best fit for each.
It’s better to die free than to accept government aid.
If you ever do accept government aid, a plot twist is required where you’re doing it explicitly so you can survive long enough to bite the hand that fed you.
Empathy is toxic.
Everyone, even aliens and elves and wizards, needs The Gods.
These things aren’t usually in games (or in sf/f in general), but they could be if creators wanted to put them in. (And they sometimes are in them. Not sure if you’re one of m6 regula5 readers but if you are I mentioned Atlas Shrugged as explicitly politically conservative science fiction. Nolan’s Batman is often given as another example that was very popular more recently. I didn’t see all of those films but I do remember, in one of the ones I did see, Batman using surveillance that was pretty clearly analogous to the Patriot Act, and shown as heroic for doing so, though it was shown as a tough decision rather than an easy one.)
Sf/f is, as some reblogs have pointed out, most often made by people who are at least nominally leftish.
I think there’s a reason for this.
Sf/f is very often about progress. What if society looked different than it does. What if people could easily do this, or suddenly stopped being able to do that? What if a culture was based on this attribute or heavily relied on people doing that job? What if?
What if? is an inherently progressive question. It’s people wanting to know what’s beyond Chesterton’s fence.
If what if is about progress, it’s not surprising most people who ask it lean progressIVE.
The people who think the fence is protecting them are less likely to write novels or make game plots about what happens when it’s broken.
Which is why I think conservative nerds are most likely, most of the time, to find that less people are creating for them.
So maybe it’s a bit mean, but… I think they need to get used to progressive messages in the stuff they love, and learn how to look past it or ignore it. If they like what ifs but also love tradition there’s a tension there.
It’s one they can and I’d say they should use to fuel their own creations, as from conflict stems all stories, but it’s not one they can compel people who ask what if because they think we can do better to wrestle with for them.
So I’ve seen a couple of fashy types post on socmed recently that they really want a game that portrays conservative values positively so they don’t have to wade through all this woke dei bs, etc.
And I’m just… intrigued, shall we say? Because you’d think that if these guys love games so much, they’d have tried to make a game with conservative messaging and values, and would’ve noticed that it didn’t get much uptake, and be thinking about why that might be.
But I don’t see that kind of reflection! How odd. I wonder why this could be.
I’d almost think it might be because they only got recruited into Only I Matter, The Cult yesterday and it never bothered them until Stefan Molyneux told them to get mad, but surely that couldn’t be it.
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Watching Dune with my roommates and violently swinging between “I’m yapping too much just let them watch the damn movie” and “My word you have a lot of questions.”
This culminated in the scene with Shadout Mapes, where I was going to talk about xyz thing, then decided against it, and then had one of them say to me “Alright. I’m gonna need you to explain all of that.” My yapping has been vindicated!
#This movie was very much not made for people new to Dune holy shit#So much goes unexplained and not in a fun way but more of a what the hell is happening way#Training room scene happens and it’s like “Oh ok swords and blue thing cool”#and then the attack on Arrakeen happens and it’s like “Oh nvm we doing ranged weapons now”#Mentats are entirely unexplained. Thufir just seems like a smart guy who eyeballs weirdly on occasion#and Piter De Vries is your bog standard Evil Vizier#Anyway we quit right as Paul and Jessica are being kidnapped because there was still an hour left#It was already 12:30 and we all have stuff to do tomorrow morning so staying up till 1:30 was a Bad Idea#Picking up Dune Part 1 Part 2 tomorrow and maybe Dune Part 2 some time after assuming these guys still like it#Also no I didn’t force my friends to watch Dune with me#One of them put it on of their own free will. I also just happened to be their roommate#And for that they learned about Leto II’s worm cock/lack thereof#Dune#dune movie
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see someone spreading misinformation about ancient greece online, gently correct them, they say "well discerning whats canon and whats fanon in greek mythology is really difficult". i am killed instantly.
#my brother in christ contemporary texts are free online <3#sometimes by multiple different translators#trying to correct people who believe that in the '''''original myth'''''' persephone just walked to the underworld of her own accord is hel#fyi i was saying hell on earth and ran out of letters#i was not trying to be quirky and reference a completely separate culture's myths i prommy#if i ever use 'hel' in like a casual context instead of when specifically talking about norse mythology i need to be put down#greek mythology#i speak#reminds me of that post that claimed that gorgon heads were used to mark womens shelters in ancient greece w/ no source#and everyone believed it#as if gorgon heads weren't on basically every building#(being hyperbolic obv but. basically)#like i don't get this modern urge to give power and agency to women in mythology by either#(a) pretending nothing bad ever happened to them and everything was of their own volition (bad. stop it.)#or (b) pretending that they have uniquely bad stuff happen to them and no one else had bad stuff happen to them and its only this lady#so therefore everyone else involved is evil (also bad. also stop it.)#like when one of those modern 'feminist retelling' greek myth stories w/ the same covers about ariadne#it actively adds bad stuff to happen to ariadne when shes a mortal woman in greco roman myth who actually gets a happy ending#like whats the point of that??
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i can tell you guys aren’t as fond of the entertainment industry which is a shame bc idol! childe, model! kaeya and club owner! diluc are very tasty :(
#┊glimpse into the crystal ball ೃ༄#engagement for the au has plummeted after i moved away from the piercing studio#which sucks ofc bc i still put in just as much effort#but i can’t tell people what to read#i can however tell people to not comment ‘part two?’ and nothing else under someone’s work#yes i know it implies that the person liked it but—#i’m not a content machine#i’m a human being who thrives off of validation and compliments#also i’ve said multiple times i’ll write second parts#the end heavily implies there will be a second part#it’s called a modern au *series*#so if you can avoid it don’t just drop a ‘part two?’ in my or somebody else’s comment section/ ask box#or at least show them some appreciation for the first part if you want to ask about it#‘this was good’ doesn’t really scratch that itch yk?#it’s free content your scrolling through but writers still put a lot of effort into that#just keep that in mind yeah? :)#this isn’t aimed at one person in particular but since it happened a lot especially with the series i just thought i had to say sth#i know people probably don’t mean any harm with that#everyone’s just used to consuming media at a rapid pace#so it’s just supposed to be a little reminder that there are actual people working in their own free time to provide content#even if we’re a blog without a face attached to others on here#cw rant
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