#On the other hand I get views and kudos and lovely comments too. So I guess I also had an audience and I am just being paranoid?

[f1crecs]

Fic Rec List - Lando/Oscar (Part 2)

if your fic is on this list and you don’t want it to be, please let me know and we will remove it immediately, no questions asked. we have contacted most of the authors on this list, but sometimes people fall through the gaps - just pop us a message🤍

have a pairing you want us to do next? please read the faqs and then head to the inbox.

don’t forget to give the authors featured on this list some love in the form of kudos, bookmarks, and comments!

you can find part 1 here

nsfw: fly the ocean (in a silver plane) by @settsplitt | E | 2.6k Lando and Oscar are fighter jet pilots who share a room on base. Oscar doesn’t seem to think much about the risk of what they do, but it consumes Lando. This is an excellent character study and builds such a big world out of very brief moments. “Hot” and “existential worry” hold hands in a circle around this fic.

He’s practically fucking useless in the briefs and debriefs. He just feels his brain slipping away, to the sky and the seas and angels 10. He knows other people are noticing, but honestly, if they want him to be normal they should fucking put him back with Oscar. None of it matters, anyway, because Lando never has any control.

nsfw: Keep Talking by @wanderingblindly | E | 2.7k This is such a beautifully written fic! The trust and comfort here is really moving - it's a soft, syrupy sort of story, that unfolds beautifully. Love it!

With practiced hands, he slides his fingers into Lando’s curls and scratches lightly at his scalp. It shoots like lightning down Lando’s neck, ringing in his ears. 

no proof, not much (but you saw enough) by @ipleadbritney | T | 3.5k Soulmates. Lando and Oscar are pulled aside by the FIA, suspected of an illegal soulbond. What I liked about it: The character voices in this story are absolutely spot on. It's Oscar's point of view and his anxiety about the situation underlying his calm demeanor is a delicate balance this author depicts beautifully.

“Yeah?” Oscar wonders which version of Lando he'll get. Will it be the one who's hyper focused on every tiny detail, including the curls of his hair? Will it be the one who's living proof why some kids deserve to be leashed? Or will it be the Lando who flirts as much as he breathes, one step away from launching his OnlyFans account?

nsfw: Reasons Why Lando Norris Might Be A Werewolf by @fenesacha | E | 3.9k Oscar, a werewolf, starts to notice small things about his teammate that may mean Lando is a werewolf too. (He's not.) What I like it: This fic is funny and breezy with great dialogue and an Oscar perfectly happy to shift gears and take it in stride when he realises Lando isn't a werewolf, but he is something else Oscar hadn't expected.

“Your dick comes off?” Oscar blurts out before he can stop himself. Lando stares at him like he’s stupid, which makes a change. “I don’t have a dick, Oscar. It’s a packer.” Right. Oscar’s not entirely sure what a packer is, but he’s got the gist of it all. “No dick. Okay. That’s cool.” “Is it?” “Yeah, mate.” Oscar’s not a bigot, he’s just having to mentally correct every fantasy he’s had for the past God-knows-how-many years. “You’re trans, then?” “Yeah, but it’s not common knowledge, so don’t go telling all your friends.” Lando turns his head so that he’s looking at Oscar, then frowns. “Wait, so you’re not trans?” “Uh, no?” “Huh, thought you were. You give off those vibes.”

worth the trouble (it was an honour) by @maaxverstappen | G | 4.6k Oscar and Lando started something, knowing it would end. It's all sweeter than it is bitter. I'm absolutely entranced by this fic. The emotion comes across so clearly, such a perfect, gentle bittersweet feeling. I don't re-read fics often, and this is one i've found myself returning to regularly.

They were always good at that, talking without words. Sometimes, and Oscar would never admit this, he would think cough twice if you hear this, being both surprised and relieved when Lando stayed quiet.

nsfw: you signed up for this by @strawberry-daiquiris | E | 6.9k This is a wonderful magical realism au where older!Oscar time travels back and teaches Oscar how to treat Lando properly. I think writing the same character twice and all that separates them is time gone by is so impressive. it really shows great writing skills and characterisation. The smut was obviously so well written but what I loved so dearly about this is how philosophical it was, so much growth for these characters within a single evening. A true must read for the landoscar community!!

He’s looking at himself, like some kind of fucked up mirror at a funfair. It’s him, but there are lines he doesn’t recognise, a heft to his upper body he can’t feel. His face looks older, and his teeth annoyingly, a little straighter. Oscar finds, to his horror, that this is him but hotter. Less hair though, at least there’s that. “Hello.” Not-him-but-him says, with a little wave and a sideways smile. Next to him, Lando giggles, and when Oscar turns to look at him he’s returning the wave, wiggling his fingers and letting the sheet he’d pulled up to his neck drop to right below his nipples. “Stop flirting with him!” Oscar exclaims, then reconsiders his point. “Or me. Or... alright, actually mate, who the fuck are you?”

force majeure by debrief | T | 7k Oscar and Lando get bodyswapped. The author absolutely nails the voices of both characters, Lando's chaotic way of speaking versus Oscar's more measured tone. Its largely constructed as a series of text messages until the last act, which is an inspired way of showing when a character is freaking out - Lando's messages in particular get more incoherent and full of typos when he's upset. The way they gradually draw toward one another as their situation isolates them (anyone else they confide in is erased from existence after), being one another's strength and comfort and support, is really beautiful to watch unfold.

craving for caprficns sn caprin sc capri sus suns capri suns and like so theyre usually on the lower shelf in ther corner i kown cause i alswasy get then here even tho theyre pricier priceri pricier and like they werent there and i double checked i asked the emploeye that was stocking the shelves in the next aisle and she sad said she dones t know what a capri usn is?? she even asked me if it was a zodiac sun zodiac sign shit i cant cry over caprin sun osc

nsfw: love along the way by @gaslybottoms | E | 10k AU, sex work/adult entertainment. Oscar is a videographer for an adult entertainment studio. Lando is one of the performers. Oscar sees Lando struggling emotionally after intense scenes and wants to help him. Lando, though, is very reluctant to accept it. This is a wonderful fic - Oscar is hurting so badly for Lando and is desperate to comfort him, but he can only be brushed off so many times before he gives up. He is so worried for Lando that he misses signs of distress in himself, which ends up bringing about a resolution to the situation in a way nobody (including me!) expected.

It’s cheesy. A line literally straight from a porno, and one Oscar has heard so many times over the last year or so. He shouldn’t find himself hating the way it sounds, curling around Jenson’s tongue as he chases his release. He’s not even a bad guy. Outside of filming, Oscar likes him. He’s always up for a laugh, and he makes an effort to get to know about all the people that work in the agency, not just the actors he’s supposed to do scenes with. He’s always supportive, offering advice from a mature point of view. And yet. Right now, Oscar can’t stand him. The way that he gets to take care of Lando in a way that Oscar can’t, because Lando doesn’t open up to him the same way. The way of telling Oscar how he feels, not how he might open up around Oscar’s -

the sun (in your eyes) by @wisteriagoesvroom | M | 11.3k Lando stumbles upon a flower shop. Oscar's flower shop, to be precise. This is a wonderful florist!Oscar au. What I love so dearly about this is that the author has taken the lyric/concept of "you don't have to say i love you to say i love you" and applied it to flower language. How creative and clever. I love how throughout this fic Oscar and Lando really become what the other person needs, they are always there for each other. All of it just feels so safe and comforting. The dialogue is witty and fun and the descriptions are really well rounded. And as the cherry on top, this was written For Me so its wonderfully perfect.

Home. Home is pine needles and Ribena and his first car and a return ticket to Heathrow and taking your seat at your local cafe and the baristas knowing your name. But home can also be this: an open door, a room full of flowers and green and life. A cup of your favourite tea and a snack you’ve come to associate with the word comfort. A conversation with a man who offers you a safe harbour, with no conditions to be anything other than to be what you are.

nsfw: you're burning up, i'm cooling down by @foggieststars | E | 12.3k Lando and Oscar have an understanding, Oscar doesn't get to come until Lando decides he's been good enough. This fic is so good and it might be my most reread f1 fic ever at this point. The dialogue is amazing and feels so real and on point for both Lando and Oscar. Their dynamic is so fun and sexy and well written and it makes so much sense for them and what I feel like landoscar would be. I lack the words to accurately describe how good this is: the writing, the plot, the sex are all phenomenal.

He teases Oscar about it, sometimes. How badly he wants it - to win, to be good. Lando asks him if he ever gets hard in the car out of some twisted desperation to please people. He loves thinking about Oscar’s muscled thighs clenching together in the car, vibrations running through his whole body, sparking little points of contact. So Lando lets the little game drag on into the race build-up sometimes, when Oscar is okay with it.

under my skin by @lellabellawrites | M | 16.8k An AU in which Oscar and Lando are serial killers who have a meet cute while dumping bodies, and fall in love. This fic absolutely floored me with how good it was, how this pair of incredibly dangerous people managed to focus all that intensity on one another. Their devotion to one another is absolutely touching, even if you can never forget what they do for fun. Oscar is methodical and calculating, Lando is more impulsive, which is perfect characterisation and shows how well they fit together, the Yin and Yang of it all. The ending left me breathless.

Oscar knows exactly who this man is now. The Quad County Killer sprung up last summer and has been on quite a spree lately. A handful of Oscar's kills have been attributed to him, which should be a relief from the extra cover it brings, but instead only pisses him off. This guy works recklessly, leaving his kills out in the open like he wants to be found out. Oscar would like the papers to give him a little more credit than that. "I work better alone." His disdain must be evident as the man relents with a sneer of disappointment. "Could you at least help me drag this down—" "No." "Fine." He takes one end of the duffel and heaves it over the curb with more strength than Oscar would have expected from his slender frame. "Did you sink yours or float?" "Sink. I'm not an idiot." "Alright. Rude."

you be time, i'll be space by littleplumtree | M | 50.8k Lando and Oscar are part of a space exploration team with the goal of finding sentient life outside of earth. why I like it: This author is a master of the details. Every piece, every detail, every action and reaction, they all serve to make the story richer and more vibrant. The characterization, too, feels comfortable and real. It's a joy to read.

With his eye to the microscope, Lando makes a heart wrenching little sound of relief. “Oh. Oh my god. There you are.” Oscar leans his elbows on the bench and stares into the tank. There’s nothing to see with the naked eye, but in that water is something that could one day, given all the time in the world, evolve into something like themselves. Maybe one day they’ll build pyramids and cry at sad movies and invent Tupperware and come up with a thousand different ways to insult each other online.

nsfw: Casual by @loquarocoeur | E | 95k AU, college roommates. Lando is perpetually horny and unlucky when it comes to hookups. He suggests that he and Oscar should just be friends with benefits, you know. Casual. Oscar agrees, even though he is madly in love with Lando and knows its a recipe for disaster. Lando gradually starts to realise the same. I am insane for just how good this fic is. It's not that the guys don't talk, they talk all the time and even communicate about their unique situation, they understand one another deeply and yet they still don't realise what space they occupy in one another's hearts. They are completely compatible in bed, if only they knew - Lando in particular is self conscious about the way he gets in bed and fights his very nature, all while not realising Oscar likes him that way. The angst is heavy but they get there in the end, while it has plenty of funny dialogue moments to lighten things. The characterisation is wonderful all round.

“So I stopped asking for sex and now we haven’t fucked in like five days which should be fine, but I don’t know, I’m getting desperate and he's just, like, fine, so maybe he doesn't need the sex, maybe he doesn't want the sex anymore, but he just can't admit it—” “Okay, Lando, I think you’re really overthinking—” “No! Because you see the fucking isn’t the only thing, the thing is that somehow we’ve sort of accidentally slept in the same bed for like a week and now we’re sort of fighting so I couldn’t sleep last night.” “Accidentally... For a week?”

[f1fnatic]

XNDA ⤿ l. hamilton 44

→ ( in which. . . ) you, a famous musician, release a new album with an unknown feature. you both post suspicious photos of random people on your respective social medias. your fans start to connect you with a highly decorated formula one driver.

→ ( part. . . ) 1 of 2

→ ( fanfic genre. . . ) social media au

→ ( face claim. . . ) christina aguilera

→ ( pairing. . . ) lewis hamilton x singer!reader

→ ( content warnings/disclaimers. . . ) fluff, setting the plot

→ ( author's note. . . ) this is my first ever social media au, it was super fun to mess around with this fic. i hope you enjoy! see end for more.

→ ( masterlist )

─ INSTAGRAM ↴

y/nmusic

liked by theweeknd, lewishamilton, pharell and 2,873,409 others

y/music i am so excited to announce my 8th studio album liberation! i have worked so hard to produce this and had so much fun creating this album.

i would like to thank everyone who featured in these songs, you were all such a joy to work with! i would also like to thank my person for being my rock and helping me when i felt that this project was not moving/going anywhere, i love you so much <3

view 584,893 comments

user5 so excited!!

user17 mother is mothering

pharell it was a pleasure to work with you liked by y/nmusic

f1lover lewis is lurking...

lewishamilton cannot wait to listen 🖤

f1ishamilton THE HEART???

roscoe4ever EXCUSE ME??? WHAT IS THIS?

user12 who is the "rock"...

user29 "my person" ???!!!?!?!?!

gwenstefani so so so proud of u ❤ liked by y/nmusic

─ TWITTER ↴

─ INSTAGRAM ↴

y/nmusic

📍 brackley, england

liked by lewishamilton, pharrell, taylorswift, gwenstefani and 3,173,562 others

y/nmusic a weekend away ❤️

view 298,754 comments

user4 hope you had fun!!

y/nmusic i did thank you 🫶🏻

user4 OH MY GOD Y/N???

f1lvr lewis is lurking AGAIN.

gwenstefani girl who are u holding hands with?

y/nmusic calling u rn dw gwen

y/nstan LOL not even gwen knows this is crazy

y/nfan gf who is the guy 🤨

y/nfan2 there goes another parasocial relationship

y/nlover3 scratching my eyes out (i am so happy for her)

lh444 the location???

roscoe4ever RIGHT like hello??

taylorswift i miss you ml ☹️

y/nmusic i'll be back soon dw!

lewishamilton

📍 brackley, england

liked by y/nmusic, sebastianvettel, fencer, roscoelovescoco and 4,367,981 others

lewishamilton recharging with the ones i love most 🖤

tagged: roscoelovescoco

view 458,512 comments

lewisfan i am soooooooo normal about this (i am going crazy)

lewisfan2 me too (i am actually ripping my hair out)

roscoelovescoco love's you's dad's 🐾

lh444 sometimes i forget that lewis runs his dogs account, i remember, and then get the ick

y/nfan7 what is y/n doing here

sebastianvettel you look like you are having fun! liked by y/nmusic and lewishamilton

lewisfan3 the matching shoes 😭

lewisy/nshipper not him using the same black heart emoji he used on the liberation announcement?

y/nfan okay grandma lets get u back to bed

─ TWITTER ↴

i am back!! i am so sorry for taking such a long hiatus, i have had no motivation to write, i get ideas but then hate how i make them. i hope you all enjoy this fic! thank you for reading! requests and feedback are welcome! make sure to leave a comment and kudos as well (only if you want :P)

[the-dark-parade]

WARNINGS! THIS STORY CONTAINS... angst + fluff + lilia×fem reader

A/N: Dear souls, my apologies. I have not finished the previous fic yet, and I'm already starting in the next. For the moment, that is paused. Yet again, I hope my work pleases you. If you are not comfortable with this, feel free to leave. If you would like a version with male reader instead, please request it. Likes, comments and reblogs are very much appreciated.

(inspired by @solxamber so you should def read their stories)

Now, the parade completely skips its first destination, and goes to the second!

Part 1,

THE RANT. and how hell began

(if only I didn't read that story...)

-----

"So girlie pop, have you SEEN the new fic going around lately? Like I've been going cray cray over it, and I swear, it's worth it!" My friend gushed, then proceeding to send you the link to it on AO3.

You internally rolled my eyes, already knowing that it's definitely going to be shit. She always does this, recommending you things that are 'top tier' just for them to have 0 kudos or comments other than the one she gives.

You sighed, thinking of just humoring her...

You hoped for the nth time that this wasn't another one of those random shitty fics she found in the sea of fanfictions.

So you clicked open the link.

And guess what you found?

You found the one, the only, (well not the one and only, but you get the gag) the shittest fanfiction of shit fanfiction.

Not the shittest of the shittest, but the writing kinda was.

There were spelling mistakes and bad grammar and usually you would be fine with that. As an experienced A03 and manga reader, you already prepared yourself for such things. But there was at least one. Every. Ten. Words. Or less.

It drove you crazy. And don't even get started on the plot.

Magical fantasy. It's a magical fantasy, you get that right? And by the way, it's medieval. Not that it's a bad thing, you love that troupe!

(live laugh love medieval novels)

BUT.

BUT!!!

Why... WHY WERE THERE FUCKING BOMBS AND MECHANICAL ENGINEERING BLOODY TANKS AND NUCLEAR BOMBS?!?!

Like what the fuck-

Ahem.

Anyways, the main gist of it was that you have the POV of the main character whose name is not even mentioned at all! At all!!

Like you'll think there would be at least 1 scene where it pops out but spoiler alert! It doesn't.

And he's called, what, the Knight of Dawn? The Dawn Knight?!

What kind of cringy-ahhh name and title is that?!

Like okay man, I get that you're being emotionally manipulated by Mr. Humpty Dumpty fatty pants WHOSE NAME WAS EVEN MENTIONED.

"Henrick Istvan" more like a Hen-ick isn't van. Simply disgusting.

You just have to applaud the author's skill for writing horrible characters.

Manipulator, ugly, fat (not fat-shaming he's just that ugly and fat), too ambitious, etc etc etc.

The Knight of Dawn - you're just calling him KOD cause why not - life was absolute hell.

For this guy and his guy, he fought the faes. He went head on to fight the faes and battle in the war as the war commander on the first lines.

He fought, trained, sharpened his weapon, cut down his enemies, maybe some spicy times with his wife, but that was all.

His personality was so...

He forgave Humpty Dumpty for disrespecting and guilt tripping him so many times, so much that you would puke rainbows and sunshines like he was in the story by now!

Classic "too kind and innocent" main character.

All in all, that book was absolutely shit. It was so repetitive, yet you couldn't stop myself from clicking the next chapter.

Well, you suppose there was another reason too, and that said reason was how the chapter flipped to the faes point of view every few chapters.

They were.. much, much, much crueller than the KOD.

But it was natural, knowing they were the villains in the story.

Yet your heart couldn't help but to get drawn to them every word, dynamic, expression and behaviour they said and did.

You may have gotten obsessed with the right hand man of the main villain herself, but switching topics...

And what came next was absolutely jaw-dropping. And not in a good way.

After the tanks came, soon they made a bomb.

A BOMB.

A LITERAL, ACTUAL, BOMB.

And of course, the enemies were wiped out.

The book ended anticlimactically.

The buildup, the plot devices, everything!

All gone.

Man, what was the author thinking?!

And then the story ended there.

RIGHT THEN AND THERE.

From that, you had gotten SO ANGRY that your blood pressure spiked, and-

...

...

...am I dreaming?

This is an unfamiliar ceiling.

A/N: dear souls, stay tuned for part 2! Thank you for reading if you read.

[whataboutsimple]

— Ladies, gentlemen and other intelligent people - welcome to tonight's Show "Words of admiration!" And special guest this time is none other than Simple himself! Applause!

Clap Clap Clap

— Yeah, yeah, thanks everybody!

Simple took the microphone

— Feels nice be here again. Last time I got invitation, it was during Undertale Fandom era. But, ah, let's not talk about past, lats talk about here and now!

Simple shifted microphone in the hands

— For those of you who don't know what is going on: "Words of admiration" is basically a show of different people praising other different people for their achievements for the fandom or for simply being a good human!

Simple looked through front rows

— And I have a bunch of people to say thank you to! Well, at least I sent them invitations - but it's of course their choice to whether visit or not.

@tippedarrows

— Who would be surprised, sure not me, the first one who I want to say thank you to is my Captain! You've done such a great job by spreading kindness in the fandom, protecting those who need it and giving everyone a safe place to ramble and be themselves! Really nice seeing people go to you for happy chit-chat about their hc or ships!

Simple laughed

— And you helped me a lot! Those interactions we had felt so nice and warm! I can never thank you enough for answering for my first ever ask, because doubt I would be as active as I am now, if you didn't! And I should be especially thankful for our talks about Gabriel, since not a lot of people likes him! Thank you, Captain.

@mrballpit

— Sure when we talk about Captain, we can't forget about Coins! Lovely human, who's as kind as their fiance. And funny too! You may not post as much, but you still give people warm feelings and silly giggles with every your art! Never worry about your art, because it's always good and pretty!

Simple shifted microphone in his hands

— It's pitty for me we though, that we didn't interact as much, as we did with your fiance. And still! With such a little interaction you gave me millions of pleasant emotions that I will not forget! Thank you, Coins!

@murkystarlight

— When talking about good people, I can't just leave Murky-friend out there. You're so good! Trust me when I say your hcs and character analysis are the best! Feels so nice scrolling through my page and stumble across a unique thought of yours! And you always so kind and responsive to those, who wants to have a conversation!

Simple looked away

— And I can't even describe with words how thankfull I am for each of your comments, kudos and asks! Such a heartwarming feeling everytime I see a notification about you! Don't be afraid punch me anytime you want to talk, I'm always open for you! Thank you, Murky-friend.

@basilthesnakingthing

— Hehe.. can't say "MCSM" without "Admins", am I right? Basil here is a good example of a human, who really loves learning their favorites under the microscope! Let's applause them for having such a deep thoughts on whatever subject anyone can pull out!

Simple shifted microphone in hands

— Personally I loved every interaction we had so far, and your Swap AU! Your interesting concepts and view of a characters always impressed me. And without you I would never draw my admin-sona, so another thank you for that! Thank you, Basil!

@yourdarlingwarrior

— Who we will remember when someone says "Gabriel"? No, no, it's not me, it's them of course! Such a creative type of content about unpopular characters is not something we see everyday.. and that's way I appreciate what they do even more! Not only because it's about Gabriel, but because of a hardwork they put in it!

Simple gave them Gabriel plushy

— Here you go. You can put him near Romeo and get VioletCrystals! I'm so glad you introduced me to Romeo/Gabriel ship, because of that I've done so much content in my blog and people love it! You're also a very pleasant companion, chit-chat we had was wonderful, so thank you!

@sillysnaildraws and @ivormybeloved

— When we talk about AU, what we remember? Of course Idol and Delusional AU! Such a creative concepts here, we should thank their authors! Feel so nice to read every piece of info you two can throw at us from time to time! Idol AU is so unique with concept of "star eyes", "actors" and ect., meanwhile Delusional AU is a great example that you don't always need screamers to scare somebody!

Simple shifted microphone in hands

— Even if we didn't have many personal interactions, still every single one we had is such a wonderful experience! I really appreciate the kindness you put in words between us! Thank you!

@mcsm-r0ckz

— Unique ships? MCSM-R0CKZ! Unique ships? MCSM-R0CKZ! Yep, that's the first name that came up in my silly mind. Though some people might not understand it, but you're a good example of how the fandom should be! Funny, relaxed and nonjudgmental against other people's tastes! This spark you see between Aiden and Axel or Olivia and Stella will always be in my mind!

Simple looked away

— Personally I would like to apologize for not saying anything during "discord drama". I simply was to afraid to participate, even though I had a great sympathy for you. I love Axden and Stardust content you post, so please accept my apology and thank you for the work you're doing for the fandom!

Simple shifted microphone in hands

— Last, but not least.. dear G! Anon who's been with me for quite a time. I think I know who you might be, but as you wish to stay anonymous, I won't tag you. All I wanted to say is thank you for throwing fuel to my Gabriel content! It really means a lot to me, since if it wasn't you, I would probably post something fandoms love more. But! I don't, and it's your merit, thank you G!

Simple looked at the clock

— Hah, look at that! I'm rambling here a little too much, guess that's time for my last goodbye!

Simple left the microphone and Automatic Chicken Farm OST starts playing.

[alienisticxo]

Before the Fever - Chapter Thirteen

{Master Chief x Reader series - TV based}

{A╱N} nobody knows how sorry i am that this took me longer than i expected it to. life outside of here has kept me so busy, and i hadn’t been writing as much as i wanted, but it’s finally done! (i edited it, but i may be editing more once i read this entire series back to inspire myself further lol) we finally get into the glorious gloriousness 🫠 thank you so much as always for hanging in! i have this whole series outlined to the end so even if it takes me a little while sometimes, i will never abandon this story, its near and dear to my heart and your comments and kudos always keep me going too! 🥹🖤

Warnings: s m u t. i didn't want to make it as raunchy as I could've, so it's just some passionate smut 🥲

I hope you enjoy! ♡ 

Chapter Thirteen - Stardust

She kissed the corner of my mouth, down to my jawline, peppering me with little acts of love, compassion. It was like she was piecing me back together again, healing the scars on my body and in my mind with nothing more than her touch.

I knew the feeling would only last as long as this continued, and I knew it wasn’t the appropriate thing to do. Not amidst the war we were fighting, not amidst the way we were on the run, but there was nothing at this point that was going to stop either of us, it seemed.

There was nothing that could’ve kept me from acting on my love for {Y/N}.

Love.

That was a hell of a word, meaningless to me, at one point. But suddenly I understood it. I felt it. I knew it. I held it, and I was capable of returning it. It still baffled me, how strongly and suddenly it came. But there was no other explanation for the way I felt for her.

Believe me, I tried to find one.

She loved me. And I could feel it in the way she touched me, in the way she responded to my touch; her soft sighs, her quiet moans. Even more, it wasn’t only in this manner. I felt it in the way she held my hand in the Condor— kept it from trembling. In the way the smile touched her eyes when I told Laera she was coming with me. I hadn’t realized I felt it when I watched her staring up at the blue sky on Halo, the sun beams catching her just right; when she opened up to me that first night on Reach, at her lowest moment under Halsey’s control.

But I know now, and so does she.

This was a new field of experience for me— the entirety of it. But something within me had been awakened, ignited. I let the same long-buried instinct from our initial kiss lead the way, responding to her effortlessly as she gave into me just as easily.

Pulling her into my arms again, I kicked off my boots and lifted her off of the set of drawers, carrying her to the hallway. There was a guest room, I remembered that being offered from my first visit. I could’ve taken her right there, my avidity pushing to take over. But I felt she deserved better— she deserved something kinder.

She deserved everything good I could give her.

Her soft lips found mine again, and I occasionally peeled a hand off of her to graze the wall until I found the correct doorknob; not wanting to break the connection we shared. When I finally did, I swung the door open and closed it shut behind us, picking up the pace to the large bed in the middle of the room.

I hardly had time to register the view of deep space through the window wall just beside us, intensifying the heat of the moment. I’d have to compliment Soren’s home when I saw him again.

{Y/N}’s dainty hands traveled along my skin in a way that was still so foreign to me, but welcome beyond belief. Never having been touched so illicitly, so fully, lent to an entirely different range of sensation in various areas of my body. I was used to Medical’s sterile and concise touch when I was forced into frivolous repairs after battle. They were needed, I was told. ‘Stay still, sit down, don’t move.’ There was no love there. No care. Not like her, not like now.

She touched me like I would break— a laughable thought in any other situation. But she allowed me the space, the breathing room. She took care in every movement, and in doing so, allowed me to feel.

I couldn’t even begin to imagine what was to come. I was too wrapped up in all that she was as I laid her down beneath me, carefully climbing over her. It was easy to notice how tiny she looked in comparison as we shifted to the middle of the bed, my hands on either side of her frame.

She looked up at me through a half-lidded gaze, a strap to her dress falling off of her shoulder and offering an intriguing view that I’d never expected to see. I drank {Y/N} in, possibly for the first time in such a lurid way. She was even more beautiful in a natural state like this. In the vulnerable moment that we shared— that for once, I didn’t mind sharing.

Her eyes gleamed in the starlight, and I was suddenly more lucid than I’d ever been. Her skin was smooth, holding the smallest of details. I noticed a tiny silver necklace that I hadn’t seen beneath her clothing before. It reminded me of the dog tags I only took off to shower.

But the girl surprised me when she reached down, hooking her fingers around the underwear she wore beneath her slinky gown. So easily she tugged them down and off of her legs, her eyes never leaving their fixation. Her expression had changed. There was a daring look in her eye, but it was smoldered with a desperation I’m sure my own reflected back to her. Her hand dangled off the edge of the mattress, dropping the fabric before I felt her soft fingers return to my skin.  

The urges, need, surging through me were wildly unknown and unfamiliar. They were stronger than anything I’d ever felt before, and while I was usually the king of composure, keeping a handle on it felt impossible. I wasn’t naive to the ways of these acts, I’d simply never felt the desire for them.

Until now.

God, did I need her now.

Just her. Only her.

Always.

———

John looked like a god in the flesh above me, his powerful build just outlined enough in the low light of the vivid stars that hung in the atmosphere just beyond the window. He stared down at me through intensely curious eyes, raking over what he could see of my body. I silently hoped he enjoyed it.

The way he reacted let me know that he did.

He was only half dressed, the top gone but the bottom very much in place. Despite the passion of the moment building all at once, our hands and lips finding one another again, clamoring for any amount of skin we could find, it was still quite easy to feel how aroused he’d become. That alone sent me even higher than I already felt, the faint throbbing between my own thighs becoming more and more apparent; hard to ignore or control.

But I was sure I didn’t want to control it anymore.

Together, it was enough to have me decide I’d help him, taking the underwear I wore off and tossing it aside. To egg him on, let him know without words that he was exactly what I wanted, what I needed— more than anything and anyone in this entire universe. To show him that it was okay to keep going, to take it as far as we possibly could.  

And maybe it was bold to assume that’s what was going to be needed; that that’s what was going to come next. But there was no other act of passion we could partake in that would’ve expressed our love for each other any better than that. Without words, we spoke the same language. We felt one another’s burning desire along with our own.

After a few seconds of intense hesitation, John leaned down again, placing kiss after kiss on the flesh of my throat, eliciting heavy exhales from my lungs. I wanted to breathe him, to have him become a part of me, and me a part of him— entirely.

It wasn’t much longer before I felt his hand on my thigh, brushing it higher and higher until he was pulling the dress from me. My body seemed to arch all on its own to offer him an easier way to remove it, and he tossed the silky fabric aside.

I’d never felt more beautifully exposed to anyone than I had to him at that moment. His hands continued to roam, large digits exploring every curve and divet of my form— caressing; taking the time to relish in me as though he’d never have me again.

His hands were excitingly rough, but held the same delicate touch that they had before as one slid up my waist and over my breasts. He squeezed one, and then the other, a gentle fervency in his hold as his lips explored beneath my ear, traveling to the peak of my clavicle.

He trailed lower and lower until he found my nipples, his mouth wrapping around them as he took his time with both, tongue swirling and lapping lightly until he’d been satisfied with the reaction it pulled from me; a soft gasp in the quietness of the night, my fingers digging into his toned back as it contracted under my hands, and my shoulder blades pressed against the bed.

My core grew warmer by the second, and I squirmed just slightly beneath him, unable to get any kind of grip on my need for him. I was a willing victim to the way he worked at me, his lips moving to my rib cage and back up again to meet mine feverishly, as though he’d been teasing himself just as much.

There was no telling how experienced or not he’d been, the thought only briefly crossing my mind as he seemed to bring every ounce of ecstasy out of me with such ease. He almost seemed to know my body better than I did as his fingers found all the right places, his lips kissed all the right spots, assuring us both that I was warmed up beyond the point of simply being ready for what I so desired.  

I hoped he knew that he could have me forever and even longer after as my own hands began to glide down his sides, fingers rising and falling between the ridges of his own torso; the muscles that rippled and flexed beneath my touch growing warmer with each pass.

Finding the bottom half of his under armor, I tugged down on it intently. But getting him undressed seemed like an impossible feat for someone as fragile as myself in comparison.

It was no wonder these Spartans were so well protected.

But John took notice of this right away, his hand reaching down, brushing against mine to help me get him out of the final article that kept any barrier between us.

It was then that I pulled him down against me as much as I could with the height difference, the metal of the tags he wore around his neck now burning my skin in the most delightful way. I inhaled, his natural scent mixed with the soap he used filling my lungs. Concentrating on every sense I could, it was easy to get lost within him.

My lips pressed against the inside of his neck, the stubble of his jaw grazing my cheek as I kissed back along to his mouth. I could feel every single sensation infinitely, every single nerve ending inflamed with a sweet emblazonment I knew only he could offer me for the rest of my time in the universe.

The moment was so intense, so close to the final act of ultimate devotion.

Our problems, our achievements, our standings and otherwise, all fell away once more— even further into the abyss than they had when we’d danced. It was him and I all over again. Every thought was focused on John. Every feeling enveloped in him entirely.

And I didn’t want to close my eyes; to miss any of the reactions he could possibly have to me. But when he held me captive in the euphoria that was his kiss, there was no stopping the way my eyes fell shut.

And so my other senses kicked in, raising goosebumps along my silky skin as his warm tongue made passage into my mouth, grazing against mine in a heated contest of taste.

The heat that radiated in my center only spread; every small movement, every quiet groan between us, building me up further. My fingers drifted down John’s back gently before moving to take his hand. Once our fingers were intertwined, he pinned my palm back down against the comforter, squeezing it in a needy, but gentle way. I returned the energy, knowing exactly how he felt in the depths of my soul.

I lifted my hips to meet his, a soft buck of his own telling me he was just as ready. The friction was more than I could bear as I moaned against his mouth. His large frame shifted over me, repositioning himself as I opened my eyes again. I had to get another look at him. I had to commit him to memory in this moment, just as I hoped he would do with me as his eyes drifted back to mine.

No one had ever made me feel so combustible. No one had ever made me feel so delicate. John’s touch was like electricity, even the slightest brush sending me over the moon a million times as though it was a direct connection to my dopamine supply.

And then, after all of the anticipation, after the moment had been finessed to the point of no return…

I finally felt him…

as close to me as humanly possible, as bonded to each other as we might ever be in any way.

It was as though the entire universe had fallen apart just to accommodate us; the feeling of my life flashing before my eyes, but in the sweetest, most exhilarating way possible. I was inexplicably lost and found in the same second, a blissful reality I never wanted to leave.

My head spun as I felt John sink into me, evoking an immediate  exhale from the very depths of my lungs, followed by a moan I tried my best to suppress in the silence. The largeness of his length shouldn’t have been a surprise, but the feeling was delectably satisfying, impressive, as he pushed into my slick walls.

It was the groan that escaped him that rang in my ears like music— the most beautiful music I’d ever experienced. Never had I heard someone sound so laced with desire and yet, somehow, relief. As though this was the only thing that he’d ever really needed in his entire life, and now it was all his.

He pulled his hips back slowly, his jaw was tight as he hovered over me. His searching gaze never left my face, treating me as though I were the most important mission in the galaxy, something to be sure of; something he had to assure himself of; to know I was okay and taken care of above all else.

My mouth was slightly agape as I held his stare the best I could, my arms reaching to lock around the back of his neck. Pulling him down as close to me as possible, I never wanted to lose him. I would simply lose myself if I came close.

The thought would’ve scared me senseless in any other moment. But I was too far gone to think about how easy losing each other actually could be.

John sunk himself into me once more, deeper this time, with a bit more fervency. My body reacted before my mind could catch up, my back arching, chest lifting upwards. Another soft moan fell from my lips. If I could’ve been any closer to him, I would’ve been.

I needed John like I needed air.

“Oh, John…” I murmured against his open mouth as he leaned in to kiss me, my leg moving to hook around his.

He leaned up just a bit more to gain better purchase, beginning to thrust then. He was slow and calculated, his hand on my thigh to pull me closer as I held my leg around him. I bit into my own lower lip, tugging on it in another attempt at keeping quiet as he carried on. His stare burned right through me, intense and full of a love I’d never seen in anyone’s eyes before— no less staring back into mine.

My breathing seemed to escape me, his own chest beginning to heave. And every time he buried himself between my thighs, my heart felt as though it might stop. Needy fingertips found any flesh they could then, gripping onto him, nails running along his body as I became plagued with the urge to touch, to be touched; to encourage every movement he so beautifully made into me and against me.

The pleasure was so immense, the connection between us so extraordinary, that as we found ourselves irrevocably entangled within one another, my eyes seemed to grow wet on their own. There was no situation I’d ever been in before in my life that felt as striking and deep.. as perfect as this. I was awash with an emotion that, for once, even I wasn’t sure how to navigate.

John’s voice was a gentle growl in my ear as he leaned closer again, his pleasure deriving from me, all me, only me, as he bit into my neck. It was gentle, yet full of haste, my only response being a moan and a show of just what my nails could do to his solid back before wrapping around his broad shoulders.

Though the moment was full of sensuality, vulnerability and broken down walls, I’d never felt more safe.

My hips began to meet his, the blissful friction within my walls radiating wave after wave in all the right places. I was already hot to the touch with him, easily aroused and even easier to get to the finish line. No matter how badly I wanted the moment to last, it was impossible to keep the pleasure at bay. The way he picked up his movements just fractionally so, I got the sense that he was in the same situation.

The minutes felt like hours in the most sublime way as they passed by; as I fought to keep time stretched forever. But when John shifted, his taut member caressing already sensitive spots within me, I felt my control leave. My chest rose and fell, hands exploring his now hot flesh. His hand reached behind my head, and his fingers tangling in my hair with an instinctual ease that didn’t surprise me as he pulled at my roots lightly.

While I reacted to his pleasure, he reacted right back, acting accordingly to my every dead give away. My release was right around the corner, and as I felt the way he thrusted into me just a little harder; just a little quicker, I knew we were on the same track to beautiful oblivion.

His soft grunts mixed with my quiet moans, both of us becoming just a little louder, no matter how badly I wanted to cry out for him. My walls tightened around his throbbing shaft, my swollen bud spiking each time his hips rubbed against mine. The stars seemed to cast their shine a bit brighter over us as he held my gaze, his light eyes burning through me. There was a romance to the moment that I immediately knew I’d never have again.

Not with anyone else, anyway.

The inside of my thighs were coated with my arousal for him, his ease of gliding in and out sending me straight to the heavens. I finally cursed, gasping as I reached out for him again, taking what was mine and claiming it. There was nothing I ever wanted more than to feel every last inch of him, than to have his strong build smother me in the affection he so willingly offered with no sight of being released from it. And when I felt his body tense, his thrusts grow sloppier, more animalistic, carnal, I lost all control I had left just as he did.

When my name fell from his lips like a prayer, I’d never felt more idolized. I only hoped he felt the same as I returned the sentiment, his name leaving a sweet taste in my mouth each time I murmured it back to him.

My mind drew a blank as the knot in my stomach finally pulled free. There was nothing driving me any further other than John and the way he so spectacularly sent wave after wave of ecstasy coursing from my core outward, the sensation washing over every limb as goosebumps rose on my flesh and my breath left my lungs.

My walls drew him in with a euphoric ease, craving him all on my own, the wetness I’d already felt between us only growing as he continued to push through his climax. I rolled my hips beneath him, suddenly shifting into wanting nothing other than to satisfy him just as much as I was being satisfied, to heighten every sizzling nerve ending that connected within him.

His voice was a velvety rasp, his brow furrowing. His breath was hot against my skin as he leaned back down, his lips brushing against my own, suffocating me beautifully with the love we held so deeply and vulnerably for each other. His mouth moved downward, kissing and nipping at my jaw, my neck, as my frame moved with his.

I cursed happily, my voice a saccharine moan. Unable to catch my breath, my body trembled slightly beneath him as I felt another point of pressure building once more. I wondered just briefly if he could handle it to continue, but without much more time to think, I slid back into another peak, my back arching at the pleasurably painful overstimulation. Even if we’d truly been alone, the entire universe might’ve heard the way I wanted to scream, anyway.

My voice was louder this time, though probably still quite quiet in the grand scheme. His eyes met mine again, and I could see the satisfaction written all over his features as he absorbed every ounce of emotion and ecstasy I showed him— that he caused me.

While I wanted to grip onto the comforter, I couldn’t bear the idea of my hands leaving him. I couldn’t tolerate even thinking about being disconnected from his person. And as I rode out my second climax, my walls gripped his length relentlessly, no doubt over stimulating him right back. But he carried on, the look in his eye needing to satisfy me, needing to allow me any pleasure he could, deriving his own pleasure from it.

If I could collect a thought or two, I’d blame the stamina on being a Spartan.

The feeling was blissful as it sizzled into a slow burn, its radiant spread through my veins and under my skin retracting back to my entrance once more like molasses. I was still thoughtless, and John was still very much focused on the task at hand as he slowed to a stop. We were both breathless, entangled within one another as though parting might destroy us and all that we were.

He pulled himself from between my thighs carefully, almost reluctantly so. While the eye contact was still intense, there was something softer about it. Something warm, and sweet. It was as though we were both being dipped back into the world we were in, unhurriedly, deliciously, together. Something had changed, wonderfully so. Where I’d certainly felt like we were two halves of a whole, I now felt like there were no longer any halves at all.

We had simply meshed into one.

Thoughts began to ease their way back into my mind, though hazily so. And I could see the coherence return to him as he caught his breath— much easier than I. It was when a hint of a smirk touched his lips, that I felt myself smile in return.

I allowed my hands to drift from his jaw, down his biceps, dancing lazily over his muscles, absently in awe of what had just happened. I never wanted to move from the spot we were in. I wanted to relive it over and over until we were both spent— and then I wanted to relive it again.

After another beat, John scooped me up into his large arms, pulling me close with him as he laid on his side. We faced each other, his arm draped over me, both of us still coming down from the highs we stunningly inflicted on each other. The minutes felt timeless all over again as we savored what remained, not another word between us.

My eyes fluttered shut just briefly as his hand reached up to brush a few strands of -what I was sure to be matted, now- hair from my face. But as he began to smile, really smile, I felt my heart leap in a million different styles behind my rib cage.

I wasn’t sure I’d seen a full blown smile from him before. It was dazzling, completely infectious. It felt like a secret, or like some kind of hidden talent that the rest of the world was forbidden to see. I smiled in return, and he leaned in to kiss my forehead, the tenderness I was beginning to enjoy shining through.

“I’ll protect you with my life,” he murmured, his expression solemn again.

Be it that his life’s mission was to protect, to potentially die for his objective, or that the seriousness in his tone was unlike anything else I’d heard him say, that sentiment felt even heavier than the ‘I love you’ we shared before our rendezvous. I nodded ever so slightly, my hand reaching up to rest atop his as he held it on the side of my head. I squeezed his hand gently.

“I would die for you,” I expressed softly in return, my tone just as heavy, just as sincere.

And I meant it.

I really did.

-x-x-x-

Tags: @allthelovefromstylesxx, @grimistangel, @guiltgoldglory, @laurenstacy610​ 

thank you guys so much as always!! it means a lot that you look forward to my lil story! ♡

[sugdenlovesdingle]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers! Spread the self-love 💞

Ok this is super hard because I feel like I always mention the same fics for this kind of thing so I'm going to try limit myself to the past year.

Date night (buck/tommy) Bobby and Athena spot Buck and Tommy out on a date together. A little outsider POV-ish that I wrote in an hour and my first time really writing bucktommy AND bathena. I just really want Buck's pseudo parents to "officially" give Tommy their stamp of approval. I know we've already had the scene of Bobby approving, but I want Athena too - though judging by Angela smiling in that zoom interview when Oliver was talking about Buck's relationship with Tommy, we might just get it.

Buck's bisexual speedrun (buck/tommy) taking it slow? we don't know her. Buck and Tommy both going from 0 to 60 in their relationship in .02 seconds. The bucktommy brainrot is real, people. This was based on a post (or ask i don't remember) I saw in the tag where someone said the way things were going with them, Buck would probably show up to work one day soon and be like "Oh yeah Tommy and I got married in Vegas, my name is Kinard now. How was your weekend?"

Love online (tarlos) Luisa takes matters into her own hands to fix Carlos' love life. I just really liked the idea of interfering sisters - and the last line that I basically wrote the rest of the fic around.

Undercover (tarlos) A season 4 what if...? Where Carlos' big secret is him going undercover instead of his marriage to Iris. Inspired by this gifset of Rafa in some other show (I think) playing a barman. (I wanted to link it but the link on my AO3 is dead - the OP might have deleted it or something) This is a little older but I got a comment on this a few days ago asking for more. I'd kind of abandoned it/forgotten about it but it made me dig up the file on my computer and found a half finished next chapter, so I'm going to try (not making any promises) to update it in the not too distant future.

View from the taco truck (tarlos) My season 5 countdown exchange fic - TK and Carlos' relationship through the eyes of their favourite food truck vendor. The idea has been knocking around my head for ages and I finally (eventually) decided to write it... but I'm honestly not sure about it. it "sounded" better in my head (as usual). But thank you to everyone that's read it and liked it and left kudos or a comment!!

Thanks for including me ❤ I'm a little late to the party so I think all of my fic writing mutuals have done this by now. If you haven't and want to - consider this your 'tag'!

[aerequets]

sugar, spice, and everything nice

ao3

rating: G

genre: fluff, humor

synopsis: After the fifth time Loid turned around to see Yuri feigning immense interest in their coffee table, he sighed, long-suffering and in disbelief of what he was about to say. “...do you want to come see what I’m making?”

a/n: this is the first fic i'm posting that was not written in one sitting past midnight :D milestones yall! also i think the first fic which isn't twiyor centric? anyways i know some people love yuri and many, many people loathe him. i'm more on the neutral end, where i acknowledge he's a funky guy and if i ignore the weirder aspects of his love for yor and pretend its just intense attachment issues due to trauma etc then i think he's swell. i didn't really know how to write him since in the series itself he's used more as a plot device than anything else, and loid's view on him reflects that, so hopefully this doesn't feel too weird. also ending fics is hard im sorry 🙏🙏

anyways i've talked enough, one last thank you for everyone who leaves reviews and kudos, i don't get to respond to them but i do read them all and appreciate the love <3 enjoy

...

“Yooor!” Yuri sang as he shoved the door to the Forger residence open, bouquet of flowers in hand. “I got off work early so I decided to come… and…”

His voice petered out as he took a better look inside the apartment he’d just forcibly entered. The chihuahua girl and her polar bear of a dog were in the living room with some noxious cartoon blaring on the TV set. That damned Forger was in the kitchen, messing around with something that definitely didn’t smell good whatsoever. Most importantly, there was a glaring, offensive lack of Yor!

“Where is Yor?” He asked, accusingly pointing a finger at Loid who finally looked up from his work. “What did you do to her?!”

Loid’s eye twitched. What made Yuri assume he could just barge in whenever he wanted and find Yor waiting for him? “She got called out for a late night shift.”

“Don’t lie to me, you—” Yuri’s other senses finally caught up and he begrudgingly confirmed that whatever Forger was messing around with did smell good. Really good. And vaguely familiar? He sniffed the air deeply, trying to figure it out.

Anya looked up from her cartoons. “Are you acting like a dog, Unkie?”

“I’m not the dog here!”

Loid debated with himself as Yuri stood in the doorway, neither coming in nor leaving. The polite, Loid-Forgerly thing to do would be to invite him inside to wait for Yor to come back. That was what upstanding gentlemen, good members of society—far from the blacklists of the SSS— acted like; gracious, affable.

The thing was, he didn’t really want to.

He watched Yuri argue with Anya about dogs (“there’s an actual dog, and then you, chihuahua girl. I am a normal person!”) and groaned. Come on. What would Yor think if she heard Yuri came by and I turned him away? It would be no good if he displeased her. He had to do this for the sake of Strix.

“Would you like to come in?” He called from his spot in the kitchen, none too welcomingly.

(Doing it for the mission didn’t mean he had to be happy about it.)

Yuri was torn from his impassioned argument with a literal first grader. “Tch… I guess since I’ve brought flowers, I might as well put them in water,” he muttered. “No other reason!”

He came in. He split the gargantuan bouquet up into six different vases. He made some comments about how Anya’s cartoon was impossible according to the laws of physics. Then he just stood in the living room, trying—and failing—to act like he wasn’t peering at Loid’s activity in the kitchen, still loudly sniffing the air. Really, even if Loid didn’t have senses sharpened to a knife’s point, it would be difficult not to notice Yuri. To make matters worse, every time he turned back, Yuri would suddenly whip around and act like he definitely wasn’t loitering, the way they did in bad sitcoms. Is this the way the SSS carry out their own covert operations? he wondered.

Aside from Anya’s cartoon playing in the background, it was painfully quiet, the only sounds coming from Loid's activity in the kitchen. It seemed like Yuri wasn’t going to strike up a conversation, and Loid wasn’t inclined to, either. But then why is he just standing there?

 After the fifth time Loid turned around to see Yuri feigning immense interest in their coffee table, he sighed, long-suffering and in disbelief of what he was about to say. “...do you want to come see what I’m making?” 

 Yuri squinted at him like he was affronted at the mere notion. “Hmph. I guess I could.” The speed with which he made his way to the kitchen offset his haughty tone. He glanced down into the various bowls Loid had set out on the counter, one filled with sliced apples, another with some uncracked eggs, and a third with flour, sugar, and spices laid out, but not yet combined. 

 “Apples,” Yuri said, almost dumbstruck. He forgot to keep the scowl on his face as he picked up an aniseed from the third bowl and brought it to his nose. It seemed like he finally found what he’d been sniffing around for. “You’re making apple cake?”  

 “Close,” Loid said, surprised by Yuri’s flip in demeanor. “Apple streusel pie. Do you make apple cake?”

 “Not me. But… this smell is…” Yuri mumbled, smelling the anise. “I don’t really remember, but this thingy smells familiar to me.”

 “It’s star anise. And people often say that smells are stronger links to memories than visuals,” Loid offered. “Maybe it’s something you used to have.” 

 Yuri’s eyes widened. “Oh. Now that I think about it…” He held the aniseed up to the light. “I think Mom put this in apple cake once, on Sis’ birthday.” He cut a glance to Loid. “Apples are her favorite.”

 Loid knew—that was why he was making apple streusel. But he was more astonished at the fact that Yuri brought up an old memory to him at all. Right now, with Yuri looking at the aniseed with an almost wondrous expression, it struck Loid how much of a kid Yuri was. 

 Yuri was only twenty years old. When Twilight was twenty years old, he was still new to WISE, training hard and getting his ego beaten down even harder. He’d thought he knew everything there was to know back then.  

 Could he blame Yuri for thinking the same way? 

 For the first time, Loid found himself regarding Yuri with something that wasn’t annoyance. Sure, the guy was more attached to Yor than superglue, but again, could he be blamed? He was a kid clinging onto the only thing left from his childhood. 

 Yuri turned to him with a grim expression. “I think I should take over this baking project of yours.”

 Any feelings of tenderness were dashed in an instant. “What?”

 “Apples are Yor’s favorite, and I know her best, so I should make the apple cake.”

“Apple streusel. ”

 “Whatever!”

 Loid resisted the urge to physically kick Yuri out of the kitchen. Don’t tussle with an SSS officer. Don’t tussle with your wife’s brother. Don’t tussle with a kid! “Are you forgetting the last time you came and destroyed the kitchen?”

 “You may have won then, but I won’t back down from this fight,” Yuri hissed. Loid gaped, a headache building in his temples. Since when was this a fight?

“Is this round two?!” Anya’s voice suddenly piped. The two of them turned to see her standing by the counter, looking strangely excited. She’d abandoned her cartoons to stretch up onto her tiptoes to see the counter. “Papa versus Unkie?”

“We aren’t doing that,” Loid said at the same time Yuri declared “I’m going to wipe the floor with him.” They turned and glared at each other.

Bond trotted up to Anya and nudged her with his nose. She paused, turned to the dog, and then brightened up.

“I just thought of a way better idea,” she announced. “Let’s all bake for Mama together!”

“What?!” The evening was spiraling way out of control. All Loid had wanted was to make some apple streusel for Yor since she was working late so often and deserved a treat (because if she got too tired or fed up, it would reflect badly on their fake marriage). Now he was meant to bake with her hyperactive brother and his equally hyperactive daughter—two people with an entire lack of abandon in the kitchen?

“No way,” Yuri sniffed, and for once Loid wholeheartedly agreed—until he continued, “I'm gonna make such a good apple streusel Yor will forget why she ever married you."

“This is not your kitchen,” Loid said, patience evaporated. “You aren't making anything, not here at least.”

“What, are you scared?”

“I'm not going to argue with you about this—”

Anya sighed loudly and tutted as if she were an exasperated adult. “Mama will be happiest,” she said slowly, “if we all make it.”

That got both men to pause. Well, thought Loid, I am making this to cheer her up in the first place. Anya's not wrong…

Agh. If it makes Sis happier, then shouldn't I…?

Anya smiled in satisfaction. In the snippet of the future she read from Bond's mind, it seemed like everyone was getting along and Mama was smiling really wide, so Papa and Unkie had to stop fighting in order for that to happen. As fun as round two sounded, that future seemed better.

(Also, in that version of the future, everyone was too distracted and happy to notice Anya sneaking extra dessert. Double win!)

“Yay! What do I do?” Anya asked, eagerly hopping up on a stool. “Can I put the crumblies on top?”

“It's not time for that yet,” Loid replied. “Though you can help me make the topping if you want. Er, Yuri, if you want to get started on the custard, you can crack the eggs…”

“Right, eggs,” Yuri repeated before picking one up and smashing it into the bowl, shell splintering. Loid and Anya jumped.

“Not like that!” Loid cried.

“Even I learned how to crack eggs,” Anya unhelpfully supplied, leading Yuri's face to glow red. Loid felt a tinge of pity (he knew how Anya's words could burn firsthand) and cautiously asked, “Did you ever learn to crack an egg, Yuri?”

“It was fine to do it this way before Yor ate your food,” he mumbled in response. Loid was silent for a few seconds before turning to the fridge and pulling a fresh egg out. “This is how you do it.” He demonstrated over the bowl, noting how Yuri carefully tracked the movement. “Tap gently enough to make a crack in the shell. Then pull it apart like you're opening it. Yor learned this way too.” He threw the empty shells away before adding, “Not everything has to stay the way it was before, you know.”

A muscle in Yuri's jaw jumped, but he said nothing and instead set to cracking the other eggs, a little clumsy but decidedly better. Loid then got Anya to whisk the powders together ( “Gently,” he insisted, since it seemed Anya had some sort of floury vendetta) and he cut the butter in for the streusel topping. Yuri began haltingly asking for instructions on what to do next, which Loid was glad to provide.

Time passed like this, with Loid and Yuri slowly warming up to each other via baking. During the process of whisking, mixing, pouring and arranging apples, it seemed like Yuri forgot to be thorny with Loid, and Loid forgot to be cross at Yuri's presence. Anya, too, quickly forgot why she was helping at all and went back to watching cartoons, in wait for when the streusel would be ready for her to eat.

It was when a warm, cinnamon-sugary smell was filling the apartment and Loid and Yuri were cleaning up that the front door opened. Yor trudged in, tired and sore from the night's assignment and ready to collapse into bed. She froze upon seeing six fresh vases and a very familiar pair of shoes in the doorway.

The TV was playing one of Anya's cartoons, but the living room was void. Yor, weary and blood still pumping, immediately assumed the worst. Oh, no. What if Yuri came and got in a fight with Loid? What if he found out we're fake married?! Where's Anya? And—

She, too, had to pause and finally breathe in the mouthwatering scent hanging in the air. There was just something about it…

Abandoning all caution, Yor slipped inside, keeping her steps light just in case something really was wrong. But it smelled too good for there to be any real damage—was that sound logic, or was she just hungry? In any case, she made sure not to draw attention to herself as she poked her head into the kitchen. 

“And for pots that have a lot of gunk in them, you can just boil a bit of water with soap and vinegar  and wait till it foams. Makes it easier to clean,” Loid was telling Yuri. “Yor taught me that, actually—oi, Anya, don't open the oven yet.”

“Makes sense.” Yuri was scribbling something down in a notepad, punching down on the dots and lines. “I'll triple-star that one since it's a tip from Sis.”

“Is it ready yet?” Anya was alternating between excitedly jumping in front of the oven and plastering her face up against the glass. Bond, too, was sat next to Anya with his tail furiously thumping on the ground. “It smells sooo good!”

“It'll be just a minute. Come on, back up from there, both of you.”

Yor was so shocked at what she was seeing that she dropped her purse, alerting everyone of her presence. They all gawked at each other; Anya and Bond were the first to react, scrambling up from their spots. 

“Mama! You're back!” Anya exclaimed, hugging her mother's knees. Bond barked and Yor pet his head absentmindedly, still trying to process what she was seeing. 

“I am,” she said faintly. “Yuri…? When did you get here?” 

“Sis!” Yuri said, also snapping out of his stupor. He sheepishly tucked his notepad away. “Um, a bit ago, I guess. I came to visit you, but you were out, and…"

“Did you guys bake together?” Yor asked, daring to hope. Yuri and Loid exchanged a glance before Loid smiled.

“He's a quick learner.”

"Loi-Loi is an okay teacher, I guess,” Yuri reluctantly added. “We made apple streusel. Do you remember Mom's apple cake?”

Yor inhaled, closing her eyes. The memory was fuzzy, but distinctly sweet, as if the taste of the cake remained. “Yeah. This smells really similar.”

“Yuri had the idea of adding cloves and cardamom,” Loid said. “It worked out quite nicely.”

“Yeah, it was my idea,” Yuri said proudly. Loid rolled his eyes but said nothing more on the subject. No wonder it smelled so familiar, Yor thought. She could hardly believe Yuri even remember the apple cake. Or that he'd shared enough about it with Loid that they were able to replicate some of it in the streusel.

Something warm and sweet  was filling up in Yor's chest. Was it the sugar in the air? She breathed it in, cheeks apple red and sore from how widely she was beaming, previous tiredness all but forgotten. She hadn't realized how much she'd subconsciously wanted Yuri to warm up to her family before. Her family. His family now, too. It didn't have to be just the two of them. 

“Ah—are you crying?!” Yor's eyes had gotten a little shiny, which naturally led to Yuri bursting out bawling. “I missed you toooo!”

The oven dinged and Loid pulled out the streusel as Yor joined them in the kitchen. As the adults got to chatting, Anya snuck around and victoriously stabbed a forkful of the piping dessert, blowing on it vigorously before chomping down. She grinned around her fork. 

 

Victory was sweet. 

[stevetonyweekly]

SteveTony Weekly - October 15th

 Hi, all! I hope you had a spectacular week. Here’s everything I read this week--enjoy and be sure to leave comments and kudos for your writers! 

~*~ 

love and war by meidui

“Who the hell are you?” Tony demands as Steve stands up and instinctively gets between them, taking him in: Tony’s armour, but in his colours. His shield, but with Tony’s arc reactor in place of his star.

“I’m from Earth-TRN634,” he says. “I’m not here to hurt you. I’m here to stop your Civil War.”

Shakedown by Sineala

The problem is, Captain America won't stop shivering.

Need A Hand? by KandiSheek

An unfortunate hand injury means that Steve can't jerk off for the foreseeable future. Tony is all too happy to lend a hand.

your kind of heaven's (been to hell and back) by complicationstoo 

Contrary to popular belief, Tony hasn’t done this before. He knows his own reputation, has enough self-awareness to recognize that not one single person would be surprised to find out he was doing this tonight, but all of them would be surprised to hear it was the first time. When you build a persona around being the charming playboy, paying for sex doesn’t seem too far off.

It’s definitely not the other guy’s first time being paid for it, though. There’s an easy energy about him as he casually looks around the penthouse between sips of the scotch in his hand. Tony wonders if he’s even drinking it at all, though, because the line of liquid never seems to go down no matter how many times he brings the glass to his lips. Either way he’s good at faking the nonchalance.

believe me by complicationstoo 

“So this is definitely one of the strangest situations I’ve ever been in,” Tony says, plopping down on the hard tile floor.

“One of?” Steve asks with raised eyebrows. “It’s troubling that you can’t lie to me right now, and yet you still aren’t saying it’s the worst.”

“Because it isn’t the worst,” Tony says simply, the honesty spilling out of him so easily even though he hates the way it feels on his tongue. “I wouldn’t even call it one of the worst. Doesn’t even crack the top five on that one, and please, don’t ask, because that’s a list I don’t want to say and you don’t want to hear. But strangest? It’s up there for sure.”

made your mark on me by complicationstoo 

It’s a Thursday, the first time that Tony walks into Steve’s tattoo parlor. Steve is behind the counter, passing the time between appointments by filling his sketchbook with new designs and reworks of older ones. He glances up at the chime on the door and has a welcome greeting on the tip of his tongue that dies at the sight of him.

He’s young, and if Steve had to guess he’s probably never been in a tattoo parlor before today, if the nervous look is anything to go by. His hair is dark and messy, falling in every direction as he takes a knitted hat off of his head and stuffs it in his pocket, while wide brown eyes look around at the designs on the walls.

How to Give the Best Blowjob He's Ever Had by BlossomsintheMist

Steve wants to give Tony as good a blowjob as Tony always gives him. Tony gives him some pointers.

in retrospect by welcoming_disaster 

Fresh out of the ice, Eve Rogers isn't happy about being stuck onto the Ultimates' roster; the team, in her view, is a shameless PR grab with no real talent. Her teammate, Tonya Stark, might change that.

The Fall and the Rise by Sineala

After the Great Society incursion, the Illuminati refuse to destroy another world. When the next incursion looms, they go to await their deaths in peace. Tony ends up on the doorstep of the last man who ever wanted to see him. At least he's going to die at Steve's side.

The Spark That Started the Fire by Sineala 

It started with two men. But it ended with two men, too.

(Or: A quiet evening on Battleworld, in which there are desert islands, campfires, apologies, and proposals. Also nudity.)

Bustin' a Cap by LonghornLetters

Steve and Tony have been together for a minute. Bucky and Rhodey have...concerns.

Body of Work by LonghornLetters 

NFL quarterback Steve Rogers has been invited to appear in ESPN's Body Issue. It's true, you know, every body has a story!

Those Secrets We Hold Dear by KandiSheek

Tony has been on suppressants for as long as he can remember. So when his body goes into an unexpected heat, he's more than a little unprepared. Especially because the person responsible for his body going haywire is halfway across the world and not on speaking terms with him.

It doesn't help that most of the world assumes that Tony is an alpha.

There is No Place Like Home for the Holidays by Lenalena

Steve is the first to come home to the tower after S.H.I.E.L.D. goes down. Then Natasha and Clint arrive. Tony doesn't mind, really, he's got the space. Except it's December and they insist on doing Christmassy shit. Who the hell has time for that?!?

Christmas 5 - Tony 0

be my best friend (until we grow old) by complicationstoo 

Everything about Steve Rogers is unexpected. How he enters Tony’s life like a cannonball. How he lingers there like he belongs.

It isn’t much of a surprise, though, to fall in love with him.

A companion fic to this is how you fall in love.

in restless silence and waking dreams by Areiton 

Tony trails his fingers over the ice, shivering at the cold that leeches into his hand, and stares at the man his father loved more than him, the man he’s loved and hated his entire life, the man who died to save the world and end the war. 

He sighs and says, softly. “You poor bastard.” 

one true thing by welcoming_disaster

Captain America, Tony has long learned, lives by a set of internal rules so convoluted and esoteric that he himself sometimes gets lost in them.

in my head by brucewaynery

Tony tells Steve about solipsism, the theory that everything is merely a figment of your own imagination, and Steve lets something slip.

for 'college roommates' on iron man bingo

now I worship a celestial sun by haemodye

The thing that gets Tony the most is how long it takes him to notice.

Not Steve, or even the other Avengers, but Tony himself. It takes Tony almost two whole weeks to figure out that he’s unable to disobey a direct order from Steve, which just- what the hell is that? What happened to the days when he flew off the handle, unable to play well with others, a notorious wild card?

“God, don’t tell me I’m getting old and predictable,” he says, rubbing a hand over his forehead. And then, “Fuck.”

  A mostly-comedic farce involving: 1 obedience spell, 2 pining Avengers, 1 long-suffering Sorcerer Supreme, and 1 single, extravagant Saint Patrick's Day float.

[honestlydarkprincess]

fic stats meme! 💌

rules: give us the links to your fic with the most hits, second most kudos, third most comments, fourth most bookmarks, fifth most words, and fic with the least words.

tagged by @loserdiaz, @hippolotamus

this isn't completely accurate because i forgot to do flat view so this is only for the stats of my 911 fics

most hits

christopher diaz has two fathers and no one can tell him otherwise

Christopher just wanted to make a Father's Day card for his Buck. He doesn't understand why Ms. Flores is being so mean!

second most kudos

we're gonna be okay, kid

The last thing Buck is expecting is to be woken up from his ill advised mid-morning nap with a call from Christopher's school, telling him that Chris is sick and should go home. He can't leave his favourite kid to fend for himself so even though Eddie might get mad at him, again, he's on his way to pick up Chris before he can even think about it.

third most comments

with you is where i wanna be (take me home)

“C’mon, Buck. Let’s go.” Eddie said, coming up behind him and clapping him on the back. 

Buck cracked one eye open and turned to look at his best friend. “Huh?” 

“You’re coming home with me,” Eddie replied, not even looking at Buck as he opened his own locker and started pulling out things to shove into his duffle bag. “You have spare clothes and everything else you need to spend the night already at the house. I’ll bring you back here tomorrow so you can get your car.” 

Buck hummed in answer, too tired to come up with words for a proper reply. 

Or, the one in which Buck is too exhausted to drive himself home so Eddie takes him back to his place. Includes Buckley-Diaz family fluff, pining, and sleepy cuddles.

fourth most bookmarks

yours and mine equals ours

At the 118's annual Fourth of July BBQ, Ana is supposed to be keeping an eye on Christopher while Eddie grabs them some food; however her attention is on the fact that Eddie doesn't trust her the way he trusts Buck. With her preoccupied, she doesn't notice Christopher losing his balance until it's too late. Christopher has a little fall and Eddie has some realizations.

fifth most words

i'll take the road that leads me back to you

Post-Lawsuit AU. 

Buck's finally back with his family but nothing is the same. The people he considered his family could barely look at him, the man he'd fallen in love with was ignoring him and dating some teacher. 

He decides he needs some time away, maybe some space will finally let them all heal. Will he come back? Will the 118 be able to finally move on and forgive each other?

fic with the least words

to be okay

Every morning is the same. Buck wakes up, and doesn’t fully breathe until his phone is in his hand and the message thread with Bobby is open. After Bobby has replied and Buck can breathe again knowing that Bobby is okay, he texts Eddie and Christopher.

tagging: @bigfootsmom, @lovebuck, @monsterrae1, @housewifebuck, @madneyporchengagement, @theyarnmaidstale, @barbiebuckley-han, @barbiediaz, @diazblunt, @transbuck, @wikiangela, @princessfbi, @911onabc, and @alyxmastershipper

[revenantghost]

[20 Question Fic Writer Game]

Tagged by @faindri and @pancake-breakfast!

How many works do you have on AO3?

18! Most are poetry collections, so a lot of smaller stories in one anthology.

What is your AO3 word count?

75,144

What fandoms do you write for?

Trigun is my main squeeze atm (and biggest in general, I have four projects for it which is double anything else--and the highest wordcount, too), but I've written for KinnPorsche, Sabikui Bisco, Danny Phantom, Vampire In The Garden, Sasaki to Miyano, Cyberpunk: Edgerunners, Goncharov (yeah... yeah), The Night Beyond the Tricornered Window, Signalis, Omori, Lycoris Recoil, and The Executioner and Her Way of Life

What are your top five fics by kudos?

No idea and I ain't looking! Trad publishing has me extremely scarred from some nasty comparison wars, so I have kudo and view counts blocked on ALL fics, including mine. From my kudos emails, though, Hallowboned has to be my top fic for sure. Last time I was paying attention most of my other fics didn't pass into triple digits by a long shot

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do!!! I adore comments, and I love chatting with folks, it really keeps me motivated and chugging along. I am... very behind on replying to the comments on my last chapter rn because I feel so awful and guilty about having to quit writing

What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Uh... I don't write a ton of narrative fics, and I do love me some tragic poetry, but I guess the angstiest collection might be my Signalis one, Observable System Transcendence? But my Omori poem and the Trined Soul collection might be contenders, too

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I mean, Trembling Hands is a Trimax fix-it fic, so? Though the Sasaki and Miyano collection, Effortless Dreams, is definitely the most tooth-rotting fluff I've ever slapped onto the page

Do you get hate on fics?

Oh yeah, I've had my poetry called pretentious and also not good enough to be poetry lol. It's been a hot minute since that's happened, people are just jerks sometimes

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I used to! Porn with plot, my beloved. It would be interesting to explore in poetry format, but we'll see if I have the time who wants to commission some poetry porn from me lmao

Do you write crossovers?

Nah, not my cuppa

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yeah, many moons ago

Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but that is one of the coolest things fandom does. Loving a thing so much you spend the time to painstakingly transform that art into something you can read and share in another language, bro??? Translators are amazing

Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

I've worked pretty closely with artists a loooong time ago, but I've only written fics where I'm the sole writer. I have used other writers' ideas and outlines (with their permission, of course), but that's the closest

What's your all-time favourite ship?

I DON'T KNOW?!?! Shipping has never really been my main focus of media typically, but when one digs its teeth into me I go rabid in a completely feral but different way each time.

What's a WIP you'd like to finish but doubt you ever will?

))): All of them

Life feels kinda... really dire atm, it's hard to see ever writing again. However! God I want to finish Hallowboned SO BADLY!!! I have so many chapters written for it that I haven't even posted!!!!! Y'all haven't met Livio yet!!!!!! GAH 3:

What are your writing strengths?

Uh... ??? I'll be real, I've got no idea. I feel like I write so weirdly atm, it's hard for me to analyze in that kinda way

What are your writing weaknesses?

I tend to get really excited/into things and flit around and forget to explain or describe things sometimes. Thank god for having been well-trained to edit my own work. Not that I catch it all, but I try!!!

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I think it'd really cool, but I'd need a native speaker on hand to make sure I don't fuck it up in my own fic

First fandom you wrote for?

I think my first piece of written fanwork was a Danny Phantom Quizilla thing lmao, I'm old. I don't remember what it was about, just that it was ANGSTY

Favourite fic you've ever written?

Ah?!?! Honestly, each project is so different and written from such a different place, I've got no idea. I'm proudest of Observable System Transcendence being my longest, most consistent project (outside of my Smaugust collection, which isn't a fan project), Hallowboned being the first thing that really inspired me in ages--and the most indulgent one lol. But each collection and fic and poem comes from such a different place, and it's hard to pull them apart and pick???

Tagging:

Whoever wants to hop in! :3

[wesperbrekkered]

Got *sorta* tagged for a 2023 round up by @jackwolfes so, here we go!

stats

22 fics posted on ao3

193,494 words posted on ao3

210,013 words written

82,471 hits in total

7,707 kudos in total

810 comment threads

top five most popular ao3 fics

Of Lies and Rash Decisions: 41,430 words, 15,953 hits, 867 kudos, 236 comment threads, 333 bookmarks.

AU where Jesper WAS actually sent to kill Wylan during the Book!Wesper first meet, only Jesper never actually goes through with the deed.

Of Merchlings and Letters Home: 23,923 words, 12,972 hits, 978 kudos, 121 comment threads, 323 bookmarks.

Jesper tells his father he has a boyfriend so he'd stop worrying about him. Now Colm wants to meet said boyfriend. Only problem? Jesper doesn't have a boyfriend. What he does have is a best friend he's madly in love with that he just might have told his father he was dating.

Flair For The Dramatics: 30,804 words, 5,559 hits, 396 kudos, 115 comment threads, 123 bookmarks.

Wylan should have died when he fell (once again) from a ship. His saviour however, is *not* what he would have expected. He's now forced to put aside his superstitions and general disbelief if he wants any chance of getting free of the deserted island.

I Wish You Meant It: 1,382 words, 5,405 hits, 800 kudos, 22 comment threads, 154 bookmarks.

rewrote the Jesper kisses Kuwei scene from Wylan's point of view

You got me wrapped around your finger (not that I'm complaining) : 2,117 words, 4,750 hits, 610 kudos, 20 comment threads, 123 bookmarks.

Jesper decides to teach Wylan how to shoot. Unfortunately for him, Wylan has a rather nice pair of hands and looks way too hot wielding his gun.

WIPs I'm hoping to share by end of Dec

Tangled In Your Web: Wesper Spiderverse AU. Currently at 5,084 words.

Of Hidden Truths And Drastic Actions: Show!Wesper handling key Book!Wesper scenes. Currently at 2,505 words. Aiming to get the first chapter posted, covering the Van Rck reveal.

Of Latte Art and Sweet Suggestions: Wesper 5+1 Coffeeshop AU. Five times Jesper failed at asking Wylan out and One time Wylan succeeded. Currently at 5,417 words.

To Capture Perfections Muse: Established Wesper fluff. Modern AU. Currently at 2,057 words.

And what's hopefully coming early next year

I have my mock exams in February so this is more of a wishlist than a prediction. But let's hope!

The Longest Hour: E rated wesper cowboy au. Chap 7 will definitely be here in the new year, I'd like to get it fully finished by April hopefully.

Of Hidden Truths And Drastic Actions: I'd like to get at least 2 more chapters out before April, covering the just girls scene and the kuwylan reveal. If we're lucky we'll also get the 'that's not all I want'

My other au's will be on the back-burner for now as I'm in my final year so I've got mocks in Feb, oral exams in April and the *big* finals in June, so who knows what will happen.

Remember to feel free to ask about anything in the lil ask box, I do enjoy brain rotting when I'm procrastinating!

[imonthemoonitsmadeofcheese]

Regarding commenting on fanfiction...

There's a post that periodically loops around tumblr discussing fanfiction comments and it looped back to my dash again.

It's got 13k reblogs with oodles of tags and notes, and is very, very visible, so I don't think I need to add to that.

But I do want to give you my own, highly specific thoughts about it here:

I give my words to you freely, without strings, without expectation of comments, or kudos, or interaction, or compensation of any kind.

I do not feel I am owed your time, your attention, or your encouragement.

But I do want it. I want it very much.

Gifts, given honestly, with kindness, are not an exchange.

It is nice to return the gift of a story with a kudo or a comment or reaching out to the author, but attempting to compel people through guilt or social manipulation to leave notes on my writing least the writer starve or give up or withhold future gifts is not the type of gifting that I wish to participate in.

Likewise, becoming angry that one did not receive gifts from others, or that only some types of stories get gifts and not others, seems highly toxic to me, and counter to what I wish to do with my words.

I do not want you to claim my writing as your own, feed it into an AI chatbot, sell it, or otherwise pollute the spirit of how it was written and shared with you.

You do not need to accept the gift of my words, but please treat them with the respect and kindness befitting a gift given honestly with genuine love.

Please do not twist my words to make others feel uncomfortable. Please do not respond to my act of love with hatred for any percieved slight you have found within it or anger that it is not something else. That is not why it was written. That is not why it was shared.

I write what I write out of love. I share it out of love. If it brings you joy, I am happy. Even if you never tell me. Even if you consume it like cheap holiday candy in a large bag with everyone else's words and cannot even remember which one was mine as you lie on your back, your belly aching from too much sugar, revelling in the glory of the things you have read. Even if you only like it sometimes and generally prefer other things. Even if you love my thing but are shy and quiet and never speak to me and I will never know you have read my thing. If it made you happy, even in a small fleeting way, I am happy.

I will, of course, not know if you do not tell me.

That is an essential aspect of writing and putting something out on the internet openly for all to see. And I do make assumptions based upon what I see.

This is what I assume:

A kudo on Ao3, to me, means you liked my story in even the smallest way. They can be given anonymously. They take one click. If a story has many views but very few kudos, I assume that people either started reading, found it not to their tastes and never finished it, or that they did finish it but did not enjoy it.

This means I assume that less than 5% of the people who click on one of my stories enjoy and/or finished reading it. I write, with a small handful of rare exceptions, under only one relationship tag, only involving one or both of two characters in a single videogame. Not everyone wants to know about the adventures of the Drifter and Eris Morn, and that is ok. They do not need to.

A comment on Ao3, or elsewhere (email, tumblr ask/dm, discord), to me, is a treasured gift. It is you choosing to go out of your way to send me a gift in return for a thing I have gifted you. It is not something I feel entitled to, but when it does happen, it is extremely precious to me.

I keep every comment anyone has ever made on one of my things. I re-read them. I cherish them. I reply to them. They matter to me intensely. I do not take them for granted. I do not get angry when I do not receive them, nor do I turn my nose up if I feel they are too short, too long, too often, on work that is new, on work that is old, contain spelling mistakes, contain some sort of arbitrarily perceived amount of effort, sound the same as someone else's, sound the same as something you previously said, etc.

Comments containing constructive criticism, questions, requests, are not turned away, nor are they unwanted, although I do moderate comments for spam and to avoid toxicity because unmoderated comment areas on the internet can, and will, be abused and I will not tolerate the use of something anything I write to be used as a platform to spread hatred or cruelty.

If you are ever inspired to any form of creativity by something I have made, I am deeply honoured and flattered and would love to know about it so that I may look upon it and cherish it. The purest response to love is more love. You will always be welcome to use my things as inspiration for your own.

I am not owed comments in an exchange for the act of writing. I am honoured to receive the ones I do get. I do not measure my worth by them, but I do measure reception of my writing by them.

My things will never have the same number as works done by others, because my things are not those things. I am content to let my stories live as they are and bring joy to the small cluster of people who do enjoy them.

I lovelovelove interacting with readers and with other writers and I invite you to talk to me in whatever way you are comfortable but if you are shy or anxious, or just plain old do not want to, know this:

I still love you.

I still value that you have read my thing, even if we never speak and you never tell me. I want to know. I want to know intensely, but I still care even if I never find out.

It still matters. It will always matter.

Thank you to anyone anywhere who has ever read and enjoyed one of my things, now or at some faraway time in future.

Thank you for accepting my gift.

You are loved.

[winterhawkhood]

Winterhawkhood-tober-eve

Tomorrow is the big day to start the big month!

To set the mood and hopefully help inspire, we wanted to share links to the 28 current AO3 tagged Jason/Clint/Bucky works!

Check them out, kudos/comment/bookmark, boost, and get ready for - hopefully - dozens more!

(make my love) like a circle by @flowerparrish, rated T:

"You're not a barista because you're gay," Bucky says, speaking just a moment before his hand drops down onto Clint's shoulder and squeezes once. He nudges Clint away from where he's apparently been mumbling aloud to the espresso machine, beginning to deftly prepare a cappuccino with one hand quicker than Clint could have with two.

He's beauty, he's grace, and Clint wants to kiss his face.

The podfic! also by the amazing @flowerparrish

another the podfic! by @yuurei

Get Into Your Slide by @bittercape, rated E:

“Jay,” Bucky says. He can hear the steely undertone in his own voice. So can Clint, judging by the way his shoulders tense. Jason looks up, eyes dark and mouth slack and wet. “Make him beg.”

Jason grins, wide and feral.

“My pleasure,” he says.

oddly good to hurt by @flowerparrish, rated T:

He’d kind of assumed they’d ignore his non-responsiveness until he was better, but apparently not. It took Jason a long, head-achy moment to focus on the words in Clint’s last text, but he seemed downright worried.

Now Jason felt shitty, but at least he felt a different kind of shitty? Yay for variety.

[podfic of] oddly good to hurt podfic by @kbirbpods

getting you off is my new favourite hobby by @veryrach, rated E:

A series of drabbles for Kinktober.

the mortifying ordeal of being known by @flowerparrish,rated T:

Bucky makes another confused noise. 

There's no point in keeping silent now, so Clint explains, “Nat made me shorts that say ‘call me buir’ika’ on them for Christmas last year and I wore them in front of Jason once."

“I’m just doing what they say,” Jason points out. Like an asshole.

“Why?” Clint groans.

“Because you’re cute when you blush,” Bucky tells him immediately. “And Jason likes to make you squirm.”

The podfic! by @kittonafoxgirl @vexbatch @kbirbpods @flowerparrish

another the podfic! by @yuurei

I Know You by @claraxbarton, rated E:

“I really thought the Hulk dildo would be more impressive.”

Some days, Bucky really, really wondered what the fuck he was doing with his life.

the beauty of discovery by @flowerparrish, rated E:

Clint hasn't had sex in a while, because it's weird and uncomfortable and he's got a complicated enough relationship with his body that he doesn't need to go pressing buttons marked Do Not Touch for no good reason. Plus, when living with Nat, she'd just go to the gym if he needed alone time, and now he lives alone.

Except.

He also, now, has the complication of two really attractive boyfriends and a habit of panicking whenever things get a little too steamy.

of people wrapped up tight in things that will kill them by @bittercape, rated M:

Tragically, this is not the first time Clint wakes up on a concrete floor to the exciting view of metal bars. At this point in his life he’s not even sure why he expects anything else. On the bright side, he’s not trussed up like a turkey or even cuffed, and he’s still wearing clothes. His own clothes, even. That’s two whole bright sides, which frankly is unprecedented.

It'll Only Last by @claraxbarton, rated E:

Fun fact: Gotham had the highest concentration of whatthefuckery in the entire world. Or it would, if anyone bothered to record those kind of metrics.

Someone should.

Then again, Gotham so obviously won the title that maybe it wasn’t necessary. Still, there were some other places Clint had been that should definitely come with a warning label. Someone should definitely write a guidebook.

It was in the middle of a firefight between assholes who worked for the Black Mask, assholes who worked for The Penguin, and an asshole going by Red Hood that Clint allowed himself the very brief daydream of him and Bucky fucking off and traveling the world and writing a guide book about whatthefuckery.

And then someone shot him.

The One Where Clint Goes to Preschool by @noxnthea, @there-must-be-a-lock, rated G:

"I keep petitioning for hazard pay, but — please don’t grab, Cassie! Let’s use our polite asking words.”

“You don’t get hazard pay?” Clint asks.

She gives him a look that clearly says, Don’t ask stupid questions, but what comes out of her mouth is, “Nobody teaches pre-k to get rich, and nobody lives in Gotham for the peace and quiet. Simon, buddy! Walking inside, not galloping, okay? Anyway, it’s a nationwide problem, really, but full-time daycare options in this city are — no thank you, Quincy! Excuse me for a second.”

She bolts over to the other side of the room, where two kids are locked in a screaming tussle over a toy.

In a shocking twist of events, Simon trips and eats it in spectacular fashion a couple feet away from Clint. He props himself up on chubby arms, looking down at the traitorous ground and then up at Clint like he’s expecting commiseration.

“Let me guess, didn’t see that one coming?” Clint says.

Maroon Kind of Mood by @claraxbarton, rated E:

Clint Barton, bloody-nosed, black-eyed, hair mussed and shirt - just gone - grinned at him from his slump against the doorframe.

“Hey,” Clint drawled, stretching out the last syllable in a way that quite literally spelled trouble.

Jason rolled his eyes.

“No.”

The One Where They Connect A Couple of Dots by @noxnthea, @there-must-be-a-lock, rated T:

“Did you swallow a Gender Studies 101 textbook?” Steph asks.

“No, but my boyfriend has been super into dismembering the patriarchy lately.”

“You mean dismantling?”

“Yeah, that. Totally.”

Odd Man Out by @claraxbarton, rated E:

“Batman’s dead,” Bucky said before the engine had even fully cut out.

Clint blinked, wondered if that last explosion had been close enough that maybe he was suffering a concussion and hallucinations. Again. 

“Huh?” he said, just to be safe.

Bucky scowled, not his listen up scowl but his shit, are you concussed? scowl. So that was probably a point in the favor of Bucky being real.

“Batman’s dead,” Bucky repeated.

Okay. So. Real. And that was… some real shit.

“Fuck.”

The One With All The Dick Jokes by @noxnthea, @there-must-be-a-lock, rated T:

Jason groans and drops his forehead to the table, thunking it on the wood a couple times for good measure.

“What’s wrong?” Clint asks.

“He’s just so… Dick,” Jason mumbles.

Parade by @claraxbarton rated M:

When Natasha had asked Clint to house-sit for her while she was out of the country for six weeks, she had given him a very specific and very concise list of rules to follow:

Feed Liho at 6am and 6pm.  Feed the fish at 6am and 6pm. Feed yourself at least two meals a day. Coffee is not a meal. Change the litter machine every four days. Pick up the mail every day. Delivers at 3:37 except Saturday at 11:18. Do NOT talk to 2B/ Alice Lucello. Do NOT carry her groceries. Do NOT go into her apartment. Do NOT call the super to fix anything. Fix it yourself or call me. Do NOT let him into the apartment. Do NOT use the stove. Do NOT fuck 4C.

The One With The Kittens by @noxnthea, @there-must-be-a-lock, rated T:

“Be nice, it’s not every day someone gets tranqed for the first time,” says another voice, low and steady, the speaker still out of sight.

“You never forget your first,” says Red Hood.

Ronin chuckles, flipping Drew’s fake ID between his fingers. “Is that like a coming-of-age ritual around here?”

“What’s wrong with a good old-fashioned bar mitzvah?” grumbles the third voice, its owner appearing in the doorway — and it’s then that Drew knows he’s really, truly fucked, because that flickering light is now glinting off a metal arm.

Salt in the Wound by @claraxbarton rated M:

“Well, well, well, you come here often?”

Despite himself, despite the goofy line and even goofier delivery, Bucky can’t help the grin spreading on his face when he hears the familiar drawl and looks up into a very familiar face.

Bucky’s been nursing a drink at the open bar for the last twenty minutes, avoiding as much small talk as he can at the Stark Charity Gala, and he’s been pretty successful up until now. Something about his ‘murder face’ keeping the ‘civilians’ away.

But Clint Barton, shit eating grin broad and stupid and handsome on his face, and Jason Todd, fuck-off smirk deadly and handsome on his face, clearly don’t care about his murder face. And they aren’t civilians.

Clint pulls Bucky into a hug and holds him close and tight like they’ve just come through a war and not just another season of professional baseball.

He lets Bucky go with a squeeze to his neck and a brush of lips against his cheek that probably no one else but them and Jason catch.

The One With The Overheard in Gotham Blog by @noxnthea, @there-must-be-a-lock rated T:

Man 1: Babe, you’re so cute I just wanna smush your face sometimes. Man 2: Babe, I am the scourge of the underworld, can you not?

Third Wheel by @kangofu-cb rated E:

“Listen,” the guy says, and his voice is low and kinda rough, and he’s got an accent Bucky can’t quite place. “I’m not tryin’ to overstep, but I overheard kind of a lot and like. I know you’re, uh… trying to work through some shit, man, and I get it. I, uh, had kinda a fanatical upbringing myself. But I’m not sure this guy is the one to work it out with, you know?”

Bucky… is going to kill Clint. Suddenly all of Clint’s odd comments and strangely demure behavior and even his clothes start to make a kind of insane sense. He’s play-acting at more than just a first date. Clint’s pretending to be someone else entirely, and Bucky’s not sure if it’s a joke or a bad attempt at seduction, but either way a heads-up before the evening started would have prevented a hell of a lot of confusion and maybe prevented Bucky from nearly murdering his husband in a bar in Hell’s Kitchen on a Wednesday night.

The One With the Pottery Barn Couch by @noxnthea, @there-must-be-a-lock rated T:

"Just kidding," Jason says. “I have a dog, a boyfriend who wears an apron when he bakes, and a couch from Pottery Barn. Domestic as fuck.”

That gets a solid laugh before Dick continues, “I know that your, um… profession complicates things —”

“What could you possibly mean?” Jason asks innocently, wiping blood off a knife.

“ — but everybody deserves to find love.”

Throw My Body In The River by @claraxbarton rated T:

The thing was, Jason was twenty three and had spent his teenage years as a vigilante and then some more of his teenage years dead and then brainwashed and then hell-bent on revenge. Middle school had been hell and he’d never even had the chance to go to high school for more than a month before his life very abruptly ended.

He knew, from being around Dick and Roy, and now Clint and Bucky, that being twenty three and still a virgin wasn’t exactly normal, even - perhaps especially - considering his circumstances. But, well. Jason was twenty three and a virgin and it sure as hell didn’t seem like that was going to change anytime soon.

You Can't Be On Edge Forever by @vexbatch rated G:

Prompt: your scrungliest meow-meow gets a nice thing for once

Bucky and Clint try to surprise Jason with a nice time. It doesn't go exactly as intended.

you know i live to fill you up by @mightymightygnomepriest rated E:

5 Christmases Jason got laid, and then another one he also got laid. And then another other one he got laid, too.

[hardly-an-escape]

man... I'm seeing the recency bias in fanfic firsthand this weekend and I'm having mixed feelings about it. putting it under a cut because it's rambly and long.

I don't track my kudos as closely as some folks do, but I've noticed that the AO3 emails have been slowing down lately. which makes sense, as the last time I posted there was in October and I haven't been super active on tumblr lately either.

but I posed a fic yesterday and almost immediately started getting kudos on other works of mine as well – and it's super obvious why, of course: people who enjoyed the fic I'd just posted clicked on my profile to see what else I've written, and checked out my other, older fics. same thing actually happened to a lesser extent here on tumblr, with likes popping up on older posts, presumably because people found my fic masterlist via my pinned post (which includes things like ficlets that aren't on AO3, AU ideas, etc.)

on the one hand, this is awesome! this is exactly how an archive is supposed to function, after all, just like how you go to the C shelf at the library to find more books by Agatha Christie.

on the other, it's hard not to take that info and translate it into "I must continue to produce work so that my older work will get noticed, too." I must keep my name up there among the most recent posts, I must stay visible. or maybe I'm not doing a good job of self promotion; maybe I should try to circulate my own older fics more, maybe I should tag my stuff better, etc. etc.

of course this is only anxious internal pressure, and it's fairly easy to ignore. I'm not in fandom for clout or "engagement," I'm in it for fun. and that kind of thinking is the opposite of fun, so I try not to give in to it. but it's hard sometimes. I mean, I want people to read what I write, and enjoy it, and react to it. I get a lot of satisfaction and validation from others' reactions to my writing, and I'm not going to pretend that that isn't part of the reason why I post my fic!

but I'm also a slow writer, and not very prolific when it comes down to it (for a lot of reasons, ranging from ADHD to a busy real life to my mental health). and it does bum me out a little when there's such a clear difference between the number of reactions I get to my work when I've posted something recently vs when it's been a couple of months since I shared something new. the joy of getting that attention is tempered by this bittersweet, "wow... I could get that feeling even more often if I was just... better." if I wrote faster. if I posted more.

but it also drives home how important it is to circulate posts and older fics! to go past that first page on AO3, to really dive into the tags for fandoms or pairings you love and seek out some older stuff. it drives home the importance of things like rec lists and masterlists, which enable us to collect and share works that may have fallen out of view.

(and yes, it drives home for me personally that I can always be doing more to lift up my fellow writers, to reblog and comment on things I like, so everyone can get that good feeling of knowing someone enjoyed something they wrote.)

anyway. lots of thoughts and feelings over here. and I want to be clear that this is all my own personal stuff – please don't take any of this as judgement or criticism of how anyone else engages in fandom. just barfing my thoughts into the void.

[jamiesfootball]

Tagged by @jamietarttsnorthernattitude and @asteria-argo

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

8

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

191,977

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Ted Lasso is the main one right now

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

A German, a Russian, and an American Walk into a Bar (The Man From U.N.C.L.E. (2015))

oh god, you're gonna get it (you have not been given love) (Ted Lasso (TV))

The Garrison Reserve (The Musketeers (2014))

The Dick String Incident (Ted Lasso (TV))

somebody's hands who felt like mine (Ted Lasso (TV))

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes, though I am woefully behind

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

It's a toss up between right next to the heart of me and somebody's hands who felt like mine. I think the first one is technically the sharper angst, but it at least has a sequel in the works to make things a little better. The second one is a softer whump, but open-ended and with no follow up planned.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

In terms of fics that have actually ended, A German, a Russian, and an American Walk into a Bar wins by a mile

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not yet???

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes. Whatever kind. If I am feeling inspired by a thought, I'm gonna write it.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I've written AUs but no straight-up crossovers yet, though I've lazily batted a few around in a sort of 'what if x met y' sort of way

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes, A German, a Russian, and an American Walk into a Bar and The Garrison Reserve were both co-written

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Right now it's Jamie/Whump

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

It's not that I won't finish The Garrison Reserve (literally the last chapter is half written), but finishing it is going to mean a rewatch because I have straight up forgotten half the side characters' names

16. What are your writing strengths?

Maybe descriptions? Also my willingness to try to tell a joke

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

This is one I try very very hard to edit out, but I am literally the worst at writing my thoughts down out-of-order or forgetting to finish a thought entirely. Oh, and dialogue. It either comes naturally or I am forging that garbage with a hammer.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I think there is a time for using another language in-text and a time when simply implying the other language or leaning on the perspective of a character who doesn't speak the other language is the correct decision.

That said I am currently writing a story about Dani and Jamie which involves some Spanish dialogue, but I feel fairly good about it because 1) when in doubt, I can (and do) just quote my mom, 2) if it sounds too simplified / non-colloquial I can always make the excuse that Dani, like my mom, doesn't want to confuse Jamie while he's learning, 3) any mistake I make could easily be a mistake that Jamie would make anyways. Wins all around!

Somewhat related, there was an absolutely fantastic Sherlock (BBC) fic back in the day (which was sadly removed from AO3) told from John's point of view where Sherlock decided he would go about his day in Italian. It included Italian dialogue that you could hover over for the translation, but the thrust of the fic was John playing along with his best guess of what was being said. The result was a fic that concurrently told two entwined stories by emphasizing two different povs by giving the audience the choice to ignore one in favor of experiences the other one first with no subtitles. It was very cool.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

a two-page handwritten DBZ fanfic when I was 11.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

oh god, you're gonna get it (you have not been given love)

tagging: @sighonaraa and @altschmerzes because I've not seen either of you yet

[becomethesun]

20 questions for fic writers

i got tagged by @ameerawrites! 💖

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

6 as of this week!

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

62,456

3. What fandoms do you write for?

TLOU

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

1. a heart, a hand to hold onto

2. summer’s end

3. true blue (it feels good to be known so well)

4. me and my dog (and an impossible view)

5. odds & ends

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

yes!! i love the sense of community it brings

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

maybe ‘if i could give you the moon’ just because their circumstances haven't changed??? but i try to end all of my stories on a hopeful note

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

all of my stories have happy/hopeful endings but, maybe just because i wrote it most recently, i think the ending to 'me and my dog' is very happy

8. Do you get hate on fics?

knock on wood, i’m lucky to have very kind and supportive readers

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

nope 🤷🏼‍♀️

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

nope again

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

nope— i am really a boring person for this tag lol

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

no

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

also no lmao i am starting to get the feeling that i have done NOTHING in re to fic hahaha

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

as far as TLOU goes, i love ellie and dina— all-time favorite in any fandom EVER??? i don’t even know man

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

i would LIKE to think i'll finish all of my fics eventually, BUT i have some modern au ideas that will take a lot of plotting work before they’re ready to write

16. What are your writing strengths?

dialogue, characterization, humor

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

description, plotting

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

not fluent enough in any other language for that!

19. First fandom you wrote for?

TLOU is the only actual fanfic i've written, but everything i wrote from the ages of like 8-12 was extremely derivative of Anne of Green Gables so i think that kind of counts too lol

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

i love all of my children equally BUT if i had to choose, i am really proud of 'a heart a hand to hold onto' (aka mold fic lol), it's forced me outside of my writing comfort zones in several ways, and it very much lives up to the old fanfic adage of writing the fic you want to read

@bearrycool @marceltheshellwithflipflopson @toointojoelmiller @bumblepony @march-flowerr no pressure tag to join in if you want!!