#Ody is so fucking done

[sera8273]

Ody:Cut off their tails! We’re ending this now, throw their bodies back in the water let em drown.

Perimedes:Jesus fucking Christ dude! That’s a bit much no?

Ody:One of them pretended to be my wife who I have not seen in 12 years or so and the others tried to kill you all and your telling me that they don’t deserve it?

Perimedes:Well when you say it like that-

Eurylochus:Hey I mean atleast we won’t die anymore since he’s done being a goody two shoes

Perimedes:Yeah your totally right

[dootznbootz]

(Ian Johnston, Book 10)

[alibonbonn]

Had to take Aggie to the ER this morning, he didn't make it. he was getting better what the fuck, he was just 3 weeks old.

(Odie is ok. His poops are still horrid but he has the energy to eat and be a funny man. Jojo is devastated and she's taking it out on me 😞)

[5hrignold]

jesus christ.

[meteor752]

Epic the musical side story where Hades and Persephone get really invested in the story during The underworld saga, sorta small talk about the strange man for the next couple of years, and then freak the fuck out in the audience during god games when they find out not only is the guy still alive, he’s managed to piss off like half the pantheon

Just

“Hey babe?”

“Yeah Perse?”

“There’s like, a bunch of mortals here”

“Mortals? What, how?”

“Idk, they’re like, on some ship”

“Huh. Should I call Thanatos, have him take care of it, or should we just wait it out”

“Call Thanatos, best to rid the garden of any pests before they manage to kill your flowers”

“Pfft, alright. I’ll be right back”

“Okay- wait. A bunch of the dead are singing to him”

“What?”

“Yeah like a bunch. Who are they?”

“Uhh, most of them drowned, a few killed by a cyclops. One broke his neck?”

“They’re singing about a cyclops, about how he let one live or something”

“Probably one of Poseidons. Should I still call Thanatos?”

“No wait, I wanna see where this goes.”

“Alright.”

“An infant, what infant?”

“Maybe the cyclops?”

“OH NEW GUY! He seems important!”

“Also a cyclops victim. They seem close, what do you think friend or lover?”

“They’re Greek, it’s probably both”

“I don’t know how he managed it, but this guy brought down like, the entire vibe of the entire underworld. That shouldn’t be possible”

“Yeah. Oh who’s this lady now?”

“Suicide by drowning. Not sure. Maybe a relative”

“Yeah may-THATS HIS MOM”

“OH MY GODS. OH HE DIDNT KNOW OH LORD”

“Hooooooly fuck, what a way to find out”

““Here in the underworld the past is always close behind”. Think we should make that a slogan?”

“Then we’d have to credit him and stuff tho”

“Yeahhhh. Well, seems like this guy is sticking around for a few hours. Should I grab some popcorn?”

“Yeah I’ll grab the fainting couches”

~~~

“Okay what’s happening now?”

“He just stated speaking to Tiresias”

“Tiresias? He went all the way to the underworld to speak with a prophet?”

“Well he is quite good”

“Wait did Tiresias just reject him?”

“I think so? Oh wait predictions”

“Past romance, sacrifice, betrayal, and some final battle? Who the fuck is this guy?”

“Dunno, but he’s not going home that’s for sure”

“Palace? He must be a king of some kind then”

“Do we know the names of any mortal kings”

“Nope, so that didn’t help at-wait his wife is doing what”

“Ohhh, that must be rough, hearing it from a prophet”

“Okay this chanting is getting intense. I think I heard the word Scylla”

“I heard lightning bolt”

“That doesn’t bode well”

~~~

“He’s just, sitting there”

“Is he done? Should we-oh. No okay new song, let’s see what’s going on”

“Man this guy has it rough. Should we like, do something?”

“I mean, I’m not really the “bless the mortals” type of god. I mean I let a guy borrow my helm once, and I haven’t seen it since. I should probably check up on that actually”

“Yeahhh. They killed a friend of the cyclops?”

“That explains all the cyclops victims”

““Witch turn men to pigs”, you think that’s Circe?”

“Sounds like he-WHAT WAS THAT THIRD ONE”

“You don’t think-?”

““God comes down and makes a fleet drown”, I am most definitely sure!”

“Damn. Wait wooden horse? Oh, I know who this guy is!”

“Really?”

“Yeah he’s one of Athenas warriors! Ody something. Odyssen? Odyssa? Whatever, I remember the horse thing was a big deal when it happened, Ares was pissed, Hermes spread the word to all of mount Olympus”

“One of Athenas eh? Interesting. Oh yeah, the god was definitely Poseidon”

“How are you sure?”

“That line he just sung, “Ruthlessness is mercy upon ourselves”, Posy is always fucking saying that crap”

“500 men? Damn”

“Penelope, presumably the wife. Don’t know about the other guy tho”

“Either a son, brother, or lover. Or maybe just a friend I dunno”

“Another infant? What the fuck is wrong with this guy, pulling a fucking Hera”

“Gotta appreciate the determination of him”

“Yeah, but I think we’ll see him here again soon. If he’s pissed of Poseidon, and soon to be Zeus if Tiresias is to be believed, I don’t think he’ll get much further when he gets out of here”

“So we are letting him go”

“Yeah. Partly because I want to see what happens next. When he gets here we’ll ask him to tell the full story, from beginning to end”

“Alrighty then”

~~~

“I swear if I get dragged out of the underworld for one of Zeus’ little games one more time this year I might actually start a war”

“Mum keeps staring at me…fuck she’s probably gonna try and talk after this, fuck meeeeee”

“We can escape in the middle of it, no one will know”

“Oh she’ll know. Do you know what this is about like, at all?”

“No, but I think Hermes might launch into the fourth dimension if he keeps vibrating like that in his seat”

“Yeesh”

“Hmm, odd. I don’t see Posy anywhere”

“Maybe he’s competing?”

“Nah, he always declines when Zeus asks, he hates it”

“Why were you not invited?”

“Dunno, probably has nothing to do with me”

“Oh it’s starting, it’s starting”

“Athena’s challenging eh? Interesting”

“Would love to know what any of this is about”

“Mortal lover? Demi-god child? Those are the usual subject”

“Yeah but that’s not Athenas thing. Probably something to do with one of her “warriors” or whatever”

“Apollo, of course. Always has to be apart of these things”

“The drama queen”

“Truly”

“Hephasteus and Aphrodite? That’s a little awkward”

“Weird lineup so far- fucking Ares? Yeah shes not winning this one, sibling spite is stronger than any argument she can give”

“Why would all three of them be included. I can feel the tension from here. I’m uncomfortable”

“And Hera? Yeah no she’s loosing for sure, Hera like not care less about any mortal, unless they’ve offended her”

“She might be convinced, just to spite Zeus?”

“That just sounds unhealthy on so many levels”

“Alright let’s see what this is about”

“Hold up, Ody?”

“Oh my gods. You thinking what I’m thinking?”

“Well he was one of her warriors. Was he not?”

“I can’t believe he’s still trying to get home. It’s been like ten years, how the fuck”

“Well, if he pissed off Poseidon then he probably has something to do with it, the pissy bastard”

“Killed sirens. Why would you do that, so unnecessary”

“Sacrifice??? What the fuck is this man up to????”

“Didn’t we have a few Scylla sacrifices a few years back. Think that was him?”

“Holy shit we did. Yeah, Posy stays away from Scylla to the best of his ability, travelling in her domain to avoid him is not a bad idea”

“‘Phro is mad that his mum died? Girl you are grasping at straws, even more than the previous two”

“Hold up, why the fuck was I not invited?! He traveled through my domain, disturbed my souls, he even woke up Cerberus with his monster wailing, I should be apart of this!”

“I mean it’s a bit weak”

“I have more grounds to be down there than fucking Apollo. Like sirens? Come on man”

“Oh ‘Phro refused huh? Only got two, that’s kinda weak coming from Athena, she usually gets at least four”

“Is that cheating? Her quick thought thing. That cheating?”

“Are there any actual rules?”

“Just, try to win, I guess”

“Oh Ares turn. Wait she lost Aphrodite, this should be over”

“I think this is more of a personal thing. Like I said, sibling spite”

“Oh yeah, Scylla! Fuck this guy is getting around”

“Oh damn, that pissed her off”

“Guessing that the guy other that Penelope, Telemewhatever was his child then”

“Oh wait they yielded?? Huh, never thought that would happen”

“And, Heras turn”

“Yeah like I said she does not give a fuck. But it was a good run”

“Yeah, keeping her four out of five streak”

“Wait what the fuck was that”

“She- she actually yielded?”

“And for not cheating! Man I love this guy, I can’t wait for him to die”

“Only you babe. Wait holy fuck she won?”

“Oh Zeus won’t like- oh, just like I said. He’s pissed”

“Is he gonna kill her?”

“If he does I’ll just resurrect her probably. She deserves a better end, even if she is annoying”

“Well, should we go then?”

“Yeah I have some paperwork to- do I hear boss music?”

“OH SHES STILL ALIVE!!”

“She took a lightning bolt to the face and lived, holy fuck. Gotta respect it”

“I think, she’s actually convincing him? Never thought I’d see the day”

“Well, she’s his favourite child. I think if Ares tried something similar he’d just get struck by another lightning bolt”

“Well, that was fun. When I come back up for spring I’ll have to check with Hermes more about the details of what’s live, actually going on with this Ody dude”

“Yeah. Wanna stop for applebees before we head on down?”

“Yeah, but let’s go now cause mum is heading like right for me and I don’t wanna deal with that until another few months”

This was dumb lol

[onlymimiwastaken]

Warrior Penelope stuff cause I've been listening to too many EPIC genderbent covers, and I wanted to give my take on it (also cuz I kinda want to draw it one day)

- Ares as Penelope's patron, absolutely! But Ares didn't have a huge cult in Sparta, although he wasn't hated. So my lore take version thing is that ATHENA wanted to be Penelope's patron (she had already an eye on Ody kinda) but Ares saw his chance, got to it first and became attached to Penelope without wanting to admit it, also because she saw the good and useful in him. Athena still watches over Penelope (especially after her and Ares platonically break up, which she finds really stupid) and is the one who does her best to protect Ithaca while she's gone. She's by Ody's side while he misses his wife and is mostly the reason why the Suitors hadn't taken over yet.

- To get Ares to realize his mistake, Athena tricks him into helping Telemachus defeat Antinous in Little Wolf because free bloodshed, only to end up sensitized by Telemachus because holy shit, my friend's son is here almost dying to this ASSHOLE who thinks he's so much stronger than MY friend the queen and even me like who tf does he think he is. Athena makes Ares fucking rational for once. And maybe even Aphrodite, as well, gets some damn sense in his mind like "they love each other like you and I and my girl is doing her best to get home you're going to apologize rn"

- ctimene holds a claymore double her height with no problems

- penelope is more "cold ruthless" than Odysseus, in a way that she's still poised (until the end or when she's really brought to her knees which is disturbing) while doing merciless stuff. She's emotionless a lot more (just on the surface)

- Ares was the one to give Penelope the idea of going to war instead of Odysseus, for obvious reasons. And Pen is really a mastermind among the Greeks ofc

- Ares and Pen fought in their My Goodbye version because she "held back her power while her friends got devoured" "she didn't even fight Polyphemus, didn't even TRY to kill him" "hid behind her wits to get things done". Because when fighting Polyphemus, she knew that if she tried to kill Polyphemus while he was asleep, they'd be stuck in that cave forever (like in the real Odyssey). And knew that fighting while her friends got killed would slow them down and probably get more people dead. And when they ran away, she didn't go back to kill the Cyclops even if she could've because of yes, mercy, but also because she would've awakened all the other Cyclops and sailing away was faster, better. Ares deemed this cowardice. Crazy thing, since one of the most important things to him is courage.

- Ares overstimates Penelope's power. Like, yes, she's exceptional, but still HUMAN. With her limits. He hasn't dealt with a human personally in years so he doesn't understand this, so his expectations are ridiculously high, which ends up breaking Penelope.

- During 600 strike, Penelope can actually breathe underwater and not hold her breath for such a long time and be fine because she's half naiad (yes, they are fresh water nymphs but still). Also this may make her even stronger around water (to a certain degree, she's still very mortal)

- calypso is pansexual

this is already a lot, ill add more when i think about it lol (also if i realize any of these ideas don't make sense)

[ashtheketchum]

NSFW alphabet Patrick Hockstetter

A/N: I've done this alphabet with a few other characters before, but I've never published anything. Then why don't you start with the biggest psycho? XD

Warning: NSFW content, female Reader, book and movie Patrick in one, mention of killing animals

_____________________________

A(ftercare = What is he like after sex?)

Patrick isn't actually that interested in you after sex. Maybe he asks briefly if you're still okay and then he doesn't care about you anymore. Sometimes he is so nice and carries you to the bathroom, but you have to wash yourself. Deep down, Patrick would like to help you, but the risk of getting a boner again is too high.

B(ody = his favorite body part)

Patrick loves your ass. He can't resist massaging it, pinching it or hitting it. All he has to do is stare at your ass and he'll get a boner and have to stop himself from fucking you to the wall.

C(um = Where does he cum?)

Patrick doesn't care where he cums. Whether in you, on your stomach, on your face, on your back, he doesn't care, you should just tell him. He's not into condoms at all, so unfortunately you have to be prepared to buy the pill. Otherwise, Patrick will never cum inside you (except in your mouth-) because he doesn't want you to get pregnant.

D(irty secret = One thing he does that you don't know about)

In class he sometimes jerks off on you. Especially in the summer when you're wearing short clothes, he can't keep himself together. In fact, no one has noticed it yet and it should stay that way. Since you sit in front of him and always help the teachers, he also has a complete field of vision of your body.

E(xperience = How much does he know about sex?)

Let's put it this way… you're not his first. Maybe the first one he treats a little gently, but when it comes to sex you are (with luck), the third one he's had. He had raped many women back then and therefore has a lot of experience about how he should and shouldn't move best. Sometimes he had to hold himself together not to destroy you completely, but he kept himself well within his limits.

F(av. position = What position does he like to fuck you in?)

Patrick goes through all the positions with you. Missionary, doggy style, riding and more. But most of the time he prefers the missionary position. This way he can see your whole body and do whatever he wants with it. Of course he prefers it if you ride him, but he prefers it if he takes the lead. But he likes to try things out, so be creative.

G(oofy = Does he have a sense of humor during sex?)

This point is critical. It depends on his mood, when he is in a good mood he sometimes teases you. "My little slut… takes my cock so well…" he says, for example. But when he's in a bad mood, he usually never says anything. He sometimes growls, growls or whines, but nothing more.

H(ickeys? = How does he feel about hickeys?)

No. Patrick likes to give you some, but he doesn't want any himself. The world should know who you belong to and not the other way around. Because you belong to him, not he to you. So you have to live with the fact that you sometimes walk around with a bruised neck.

I(ntimacy = Is he romantic?)

HAHAHA no.

J(erk off = Does he masturbate often?)

Ohhh yes. He masturbates very, very often, precisely because he can't touch you all the time. He masturbates at school, he masturbates at home. The only time he doesn't masturbate is when he's sleeping or fucking you. But otherwise he always masturbates when he can or wants to.

K(ink = What turns him on?)

Basically everything you do. Do you bend down to pick something up? He sees your ass and gets hard. You stub your toe and moan in pain? He loves suffering and becomes hard. Are you talking about your day? He wants to use your mouth for something else and gets hard.

L(ocation = Where do you like to do it most?)

If it were up to him, you would fuck everywhere. At school, in town, behind a church and more. But it's too uncomfortable for you, so you only do it in private places. Once you did it in the school toilets because Patrick got a hard on that no one could miss.

M(otivation = What really gets him in the mood?)

Fire and knife games. He loves to hurt you, even if it's just a minor injury. Your loud whimpers turn him on, making him want more and more. Most often he cuts your collarbone, your hip or between your breasts. But he never cuts so deeply that it cannot heal. But sometimes a scar remains.

N(o = What would he never do?)

Start a real relationship with you. He only sees you as a sex toy and sometimes treats you sweetly so that you stay with him longer. Don't expect to be able to change him.

O(ral = Is he a giver or a taker?)

He prefers to receive. The feeling of your lips around his shaft drives him even crazier than he actually is. And your looks, he could never get enough. Especially your strangled moans as he fucks your throat. It's never the other way around, in fact Patrick had never even thought about licking or fingering you in any way.

P(eace = Is he slow or fast?)

Hard and fast. But the closer you get to your orgasm, the more he slows down to tease you. Most of the time he tortures himself, but seeing you suffer is worth the cost to him. As he gets angrier, he gets tougher, but then his knife and fire games hurt more.

Q(uickie = Does he like quickies? Something done or had quickly)

He was never a fan of it. It feels wrong for him to just fuck you quickly and then act like nothing happened. Especially because it takes several rounds.

R(isk = Would he do it in places where he would easily be caught?)

Yes. Patrick doesn't even see fucking you in public as a risk, he sees it as a given. If it gets too much for you, he usually ignores it. But since you mostly only do it in the forest or at home, it suits him.

S(tamina = How many rounds can he last?)

If he's in a good mood, three rounds are easily possible. Maybe more. However, when he's angry, all he really wants to do is hurt you and sometimes you don't even get to your first orgasm. But he does :'D

T(oys = Does he use toys on you?)

The only toys he uses are his lighter and a small knife. He doesn't want anything more, he doesn't need anything more. You never find toys that interesting, and neither of you want to buy them and hide them.

U(nfair = Does he sometimes tease you?)

Not sure if you could call that teasing. But, as mentioned before, it becomes slower and gentler as you get closer to your orgasm. But when you beg and whimper sweetly, he speeds up again and gives you your well-deserved orgasm. But only sometimes.

V(olume = Is he loud or quiet?)

Most of the time he just growls quietly in your ear. He wants to keep his voice quiet and deep so that he can hear you better. But when he cums, he lets out a small whimper, then he just breathes loudly and quickly. He is also quiet when talking dirty.

W(ich position = Top or Bottom?)

Patrick is definitely a top. He wouldn't even think about giving you dominance, even if you give him a blowjob or ride him. He always has control over you.

X(-x rey = How is his cock?)

Patrick is a little longer than average, but he is a little thicker at the base. Slight veins can be seen under his tip and he has a pink tip.

Y(earning = How high is his sex drive?)

Very Very Very Very Very Very Very Very high.

Z(zzz = Does he sleep after sex?)

Patrick never falls asleep after you have sex. Most of the time he watches you sleep or he goes to kill some animal. When he really needs to sleep, he sleeps very lightly.

[therantspot]

I've been seeing a lot of eurylochus hate on tiktok and I've come to rant about how you're allowed to hate him if you want to (I understand) but also, from my point of view, the man doesn't deserve it all. (this is in no way hate towards odysseus, I love the dude)

the way I see it, he literally is just a man. he's made mistakes, obviously. shouldn't have opened the bag, shouldn't have questioned odysseus in front of all the crew, shouldn't have eaten the cows...

but people are calling him a hypocrite for the way he shouts at ody for sacrificing 6 men when he was ready to run for his life when they were with circe. and stupid for opening the bag when he had one job. and dumb for eating the cows.

here's the thing though. eurylochus started out in the musical as the guy that's worried for the dangers that await, he just wants to get home, like everyone else on the ship. he's the first ready to battle for the chance of food to feed themselves and skeptic at polites' view of being nice. he's all "let's get our food by force and get going, we gotta get home" ("I say we strike first, we don't have time to waste, so let's raid the place and-")

but then the kindness plan sort of works. for a quick second, before they start to get slaughtered by a cyclops. odysseus gets them out of it because he's a great leader tho. smart and with a plan, the kind of man eurylochus has relied on for over 10 years. his brother.

but... his brother is tweaking a bit, he had this fight with his matron and lost one of his best friends along with idk how many men that we're under his care... anyone would be traumatized, even if Odysseus doesn't see it yet (I believe he had a time of denial where he wanted to stay positive like polites, but deep down he was spiraling). and eurylochus shows his concern in luck runs out. was he wrong for voicing his concern in front of the crew? absolutely. but I think eurylochus' brain was also tweaking. bro was worried and wants to get home. he also can't help but think how in his war experience, there's many plans that have gone wrong, people around him keep dying and so what if? what if one of his captain's plans goes wrong and they're all goners? and Odysseus understands!! ("thank you for the concern (...) I understand that we're tired, I understand that we're fazed"), but he tries to remind him to have faith in him. so eurylochus does. and I think he's always had faith in his captain, he just didn't trust the gods to be in their favour anymore, because lately, they haven't. he also voiced it at the beginning of the song ("don't forget how dangerous the gods are").

and then eurylochus opened the bag. big fuck up. and maybe it's too far fetched and I'm just looking for ways to justify his behavior BUT. I don't think he did it just to disobey captain's orders. if he had done it because he didn't trust odysseus then guilt wouldn't have been eating him later. I understand it might be because Poseidon suddenly showed up and killed most of the fleet like a minute after he did, that's a big possibility, yes. I also don't think he did because he believed the bag held treasure. he trusted odysseus' word over anything else, so when he said the bag had the storm inside eurylochus believed him. but what if, just what if, by opening just enough the winds would propel them to Ithaca? then again, if the storm was holding them from getting there in the first place why would a man desperate to get home try that? this is not my strongest argument tbh.

then he wants to leave the men as pigs and go home. he truly just wants to go home (10 years of war, a horrible journey back when it should've taken like a week at most, my dude just wants his mom to pick him up and take him home and honestly, same). but bruh. he's been the one that's repeatedly said that they shouldn't trust strangers or gods, reminding everyone to be on their guard, and suddenly his men see a woman and forget all about it???? the guy is traumatized, mourning, tired, and angry. on top of that they placed an enemy that his men should've easily been able to defeat had it been a regular woman and they ended up as pigs, so he really sees no way of beating her and getting anyone back. of course he wants to run away!!! safe whatever is left before he loses himself completely ("look at all we've lost and all we've learned, every single cost is so much more than what we've earned, think about the men we have left before there's none, let's just cut our losses, you and I, and let's run")

and that's exactly the difference between eurylochus in puppeteer and odysseus in Scylla and mutiny. eurylochus wants to run away because he doesn't see another way out. he's seeing his friends disappear one after the other either to death or to magic, and he's on survival mode. whoever is left, whoever is still alive, they should leave before they aren't anymore. they all need to get home. odysseus however, he's blinded by the need to get himself home to see his wife and son. he's the one that has to get home, and to ensure that, they have to pass by Scylla's lair, because if they don't go that way, Poseidon might get them and if he does, he won't let Odysseus get out alive this time. so if 6 men is what it takes, he'll do it. it's not running away, it's sacrificing.

i think the next turning point for eurylochus is actually mutiny. but here it's important to talk about how much the journey has changed him, odysseus, and their relationship and the way they see each other. like i said, eurylochus starts the journey worried about what's up ahead and, like everyone else, thinking only about getting home. but he trusts his captain with his life in every decision he makes. he also speaks for the entire crew. odysseus also starts the journey tired and thinking only about getting to ithaca. but he's got 600 men to think about as well. as captain, their lives and deaths are on him, and with every turn, he loses more and more of these men. like it or not, he's responsible for it, even if he tried his best, even if he didn't mean for it to go in that direction; he's in charge, he's responsible. it's sorta like when parents tell the eldest kid they're the model for the younger siblings.

but in the polyphemus' cave, when odysseus panics and eurylochus has to wake him up from his unresponsive state, it's not only a blow for ody, it's also a blow for eurylochus. he relies on odysseus to carry them through and he wasn't answering. they were all going through the same thing, watching their friends die, but he was the one that's supposed to keep it together the most. alas, they're all just men. and that's when eurylochus' concerns and picture perfect of odysseus start to show and blur.

odysseus still tries his best to lead with kindness like polites showed him, taking care of everyone as he should, but with every passing day and with every hardship, it becomes more and more difficult to do so. and then, just when he thinks he's about to get the answer that will save them all, by going down to literal hell, the guy with the answer tells him he won't get home to his wife and kid (the thing that's been keeping him sane and giving him hope throughout this shit of a journey). that everything they've done, all the kindness, all the being nice, has been for nothing. he also realizes that he's taking way too long and he's losing too much, like his mom, who was left waiting. so he breaks (monster).

throughout this whole thing, he never doubted eurylochus would be by his side, and he lowkey neglects and takes him for granted. dismissing when he wants to tell him something ("whatever you need to say can wait some more, of that i'm sure" in puppeteer, and if he'd let him talk he probably would've been able to prevent mutiny, but he was too distraught and wanted time to think), and he was warned in keep your friends close too, even if he didn't know it. he was also warned by the prophet, but he still didn't know it ("i see a brother's final stand"). i think it's because while odysseus did want them all to go back home, at least during most of their travels, he mostly wanted to get home himself. deep down, he was always ready to make the sacrifices, life just hadn't forced him to make them or hadn't made the right circumstances or traumatized him enough.

eurylochus sees how the experiences change him from the outside, and what it means for the rest of them every time odysseus loses himself some more. but this is odysseus, it's his brother, the man he entrusts his life to, the man that's guided them through war and the underworld, taken them out of the weirdest troubles, and the man that's most desperate to reach ithaca. and the guy that's seemingly gotten his shit together (finally) and is ready to do whatever it takes, slay whoever now (different beast). so he'll pull through, right? he might be a monster towards the dangers that are trying to get them, but he's always done his best to protect them, so there's nothing to worry about.

so a part of eurylochus has trouble believing odysseus would really sacrifice six of their friends, because he doesn't want to believe it. but the smartest man he knows wouldn't just tell them to "run for their lives" when he's well aware they're in a fucking boat. and he is desperate. eurylochus asks, begs, odysseus to tell him he's wrong in thinking he didn't just do what he did, because he needs his brother to not have gone completely off the path they paved at the beginning of the story ("use your wits to try and say i'm crazy and mad, that this is all a trick the gods have sent").

but he's too far gone in his tunnel vision, and eurylochus has to think of himself and the men that are left too, who also want to get to their families. and at the rate this is going, he's losing too many friends. at first, odysseus was to blame only in the "he's responsible for all of us because of his role as captain", but he never meant for their men to die and he tried with all his might to keep them safe, but as of right now, he used them as bait and let them die on purpose. he can't stay in charge if he won't fulfill his role as keeper of them. so eurylochus stages mutiny. rightfully so? maybe, maybe not. i personally think he didn't do it out of hate, he just didn't see another out. but he wasn't a hypocrite any more than odysseus was, so in my opinion, he was justified.

anyway then they get to the sun god's island. and people like to say that he shouldn't have killed them cows. and this is one of the parts were the hate makes me lowkey mad. as humans, when we're pushed to a point of heavy starvation or anything that endangers our lives, we enter survival mode, where instincts take over and we do things we wouldn't do if we were in our right minds. and that's exactly it, eurylochus and the rest of the crew weren't in their right minds anymore. they're hungry, and they don't have the willpower odysseus seems to have. they've given up after everything they've been through, and they're hungry and don't think they'll make it home anyway, so they eat the cows. eurylochus can't help it, and even after all, he still cares for odysseus, but he doesn't believe in their chances anymore ("ody, we're never gonna get to make it home, you know it's true", "i'm starving/tired, my friend"). he's past the point of hoping, he wants it all to end, and he can only think of his hunger, the one thing he can actually do something about in that moment. ("how much longer must i suffer now? how much longer must push through doubt? how much longer must i go about my life like this, when people die like this?" he repeats it in plural as well, voicing the crew)

so in the end, he kills the cow. and then odysseus gets to choose and he chooses himself. he has to see his wife and he'll take any opportunity that allows him to. he's on survival mode too, just with a different goal, the one that keeps him sane and makes him push through everything horrible that happens to him.

the odyssey is a story that shows how its characters lose themselves to sorrow, each in a different way. so neither odysseus nor eurylochus are to blame for the way they acted, life pushed them to the edge and they each responded in different ways. it wasn't fair to either of them, they're just men that can only withstand so much.

[circeschimera]

Well, Jorge Rivera Herrans…

You are paying for my therapy.

Okay so here are my opinions on the songs within the latest saga.

The Underworld: Fucking CHILLS. When I told you I shrieked when I heard Polites’ voice, I mean I SHRIEKED. Hearing him singing his last thoughts (Aka; OPEN ARMS.) absolutely shattered me into a million pieces. And to rub salt into the wound, ANTICLEA. ANTICLEA WAS SINGING OUT HER LAST THOUGHTS BEFORE TAKING HER OWN LIFE. I AM CRYING. “ODYSSEUS WHEN YOU COME HOME, I’LL BE WAITING” 😭 (AND SHE’S PLAYED BY HIS ACTUAL MOTHER?!)

I had high standards for this song and it broke me. Well done, Captain Jalapeño. 🫡

No Longer You: Mason has a BEAUTIFUL voice. And the emotion mixed into each and every single word Odysseus had to say gave me chills. And the fact the man Tiresias was speaking of was HIM??? I had to give it a second listen to realize it wasn’t Antinous he was speaking of. I also liked Mason’s delivery as Tiresias. You could tell in the song he was overwhelmed with all those prophecies. And the instrumental really topped it off for me with the way it spiraled!!!

Monster (Rawr rawr rawr 🦖): MONSTER. MONSTER WAS A ROLLERCOASTER.

I know I’ve been rambling about the Emotions in Ody’s voice but oh my god, THIS. THE BROKENNESS IN HIS VOICE HAD ME IN A CHOKEHOLD!!! AND THE DANGER MOTIF??? THIS SONG WAS BEAUTIFUL.

WELL DONE JAY.

[gothamite-rambler]

If Odysseus was luckily bestowed demigod status after he died

And knowing he could easily take on Poseidon, Odysseus took the time to mess with him even more. After all, he was related to Hermes, the god of mischief. No one stopped Odysseus because he was kind of warranted this after the insanity he went through to get home.

Poseidon, Hades, Ares, Odysseus, Zeus, and Hera were having brunch together. Hera brought over another stack of pancakes for the group.

Hera: Ody, enjoy the brunch, but is Penelope not joining us today?

Odysseus: She's exhausted from last night, but she does love your cooking.

Hera: And I love her and you because you're a good man who doesn’t cheat on his wife.

Hera glared at Zeus before sitting down next to him.

Poseidon (scoffing): You act like he’s a hero.

Zeus: Not this again.

Odysseus: Let him whine again; he's still hurt that I wounded him with his own weapon.

Odysseus smirked, relishing the chaos he was stirring.

Poseidon (frustrated): At night, I can still feel the trident in my chest, puncturing my organs.

Odysseus (mocking tone): Oh boo freaking hoo. I made more use of it than you ever did, fucking idiot.

Poseidon (defensive): Hey, I’ve done serious damage to mortals, taken down fleets, made men fear me, and used the water as my body to do all of that! I am tough as steel! One human man was never an issue to me!

Odysseus (smirking): All I remember is you begging me to stop while I stabbed you with your own weapon. Then you thought you won our battle by making me a monster like you. I wanted to get home, you got upset because I didn't kill the son that from my new knowledge you never visited. Whatever makes you happy though.

Poseidon: You've heard legends about my strength and power!

Odysseus (after finishing his tea): Then I saw that you are powerful and have small penis energy and had to one up a human man. You know, like bitches do.

Poseidon (angry): I could dropkick your ass right now I don't care if other people are here! I don't give a fuck!

Odysseus (grinning): I can definitely beat your ass now as well. Want to test that theory?

Ares (intervening, amused): Uncle Poseidon, stop before he uses someone else's godly weapon on you.

Odysseus (snickering): You think he'd cry this time?

Poseidon (shouting): Okay, why is he here?!

Ares (nonchalant): Hey, leave my great-nephew alone. I invited him over for brunch.

Poseidon (exasperated): He’s not welcome here! I want him out of this brunch now!

Ares took a quick sip from his tea cup then placed it back down on the saucer. He was a God of War, but not lacking in good taste when it came to tea.

Ares (maintaining his composure): Those who want him to stay, raise your hands.

Ares, Hades, Zeus, and even Hera raised their hands causing Poseidon to shake with rage as the tides outside matched his enraged energy.

Ares (with a satisfied grin): You've been outvoted, unc. Sit down and eat your pancakes. You can fight him afterwards.

Odysseus chuckled, snatching a pancake off Poseidon's plate. The God of the Tides stood up and stomped out of the room in frustration.

Poseidon: I will be waiting outside!

With that, he left in a huff, the rage causing the tides outside to churn wildly for a few moments.

Odysseus (chuckling, mischievous): I'm glad that you welcomed me and my family to Olympus. This has been a fun time so far.

Zeus (pleased): Yeah, we all enjoy your company, and it's only been a year so far.

Hades (with a bemused expression): Honestly, anyone who makes either of my brothers this mad is always hilarious to me. Poseidon has a serious grudge against you, and it's been a long time since that last happened.

Zeus (shaking his head, incredulous): I can't imagine being that petty and holding a grudge for so long.

Ares (rolling his eyes): Dad, even I know that's a lie.

[tiredbired]

Okay I'm gonna be posting one thing and one thing only about Epic: The Musical because my guy Eurylochus is getting done Fucking Dirty by a misunderstanding in the fandom. This will be long, but to make it short:

Eurylochus knows his Captain is going to sacrifice him and their men for himself. "But we'll die." is a last shred of hope for his friend Ody to reconsider.

Like listen to his voice in that part of the song. It's not surprised, it's not upset, it's not pleading, it's just.....broken. Empty almost.

Fuck, that bit in Mutiny basically confirmed that he knows they're not making it home. The man has accepted his death. He just....didn't want it to be like this. With his FRIEND showing so plainly that he'd betray them if it meant getting home. With or without them. (the man just saw a side of his friend he never thought possible he's processing some things leave him alone)

After the Scylla fight, he realized Odysseus was no longer above sacrificing his men, but seeing him try to rally them out of the Land of the Sun God before the consequences caught up to them showed that he still cared to protect them out of battle (I can't think of a better way to phrase this atm but you get it).

But once Zeus said "You or your crew", Eurylochus probably already knew the answer.

He's a broken and defeated man who tells his Captain, his friend, Ody that he's condemning them to their deaths. And Eurylochus knew the response before he even said a word.

But hey, I can't blame y'all for not getting it. After all, the line between naïveté and hopefulness is almost invisible lmao /j

[randomnerd737]

oh shit get in the water and 600 strike has got me shipping odysseus x poseidon unironically what the fuuuccck

not like in a they-would-make-a-good-couple way, but like in a holy shit their dynamic is so interesting way.

they have such a fucked up bond. they are monsters. they both know it, they are both horrified by it (tho poseidon would never admit it), but they both know its too late. the only person they hate more than themselves is eachother, and they hate each other so much its closer to obsession. in a fucked up way, they are the only people who can understand each other.

the fact that ody, only after watching Poseidon kill so many of his men, only after fearing and hating Poseidon for years, only after Poseidon is the constant force keeping him from his wife, only after Poseidon threatens to destroy Ithica, does ody try to empathize with him.

-

Aren't you tired, Poseidon? It's been 10 years, how long will this go? We're both hurting from losses So why not leave this here and just go home?

-

they are the same. they are both so tired. in a way, they are equals. they will destroy themselves and each other. Poseidon can't have mercy, he can't give up ruthlessness, not after everything he has done.

so neither can Odysseus.

and Poseidon is terrified of him. Ody is a monster, a monster of Poseidon's creation, and he is terrified. not even just for himself, but he is terrified that a man could do this. terrified that someone else could be this fucked up. terrified to see himself.

-

After everything you've done How will you sleep at night?

and then they fuck about it or something idk

[dootznbootz]

Honestly, when Odysseus is back, I imagine how he'd be trying so hard to really bond with Telemachus. Everyone else that he deeply cared about knew him from before, but Telemachus doesn't know him and he doesn't know Telemachus. All they know is that they love each other. And it made me imagine him trying so hard with "Father/Son moments" but he doesn't know where to start and begin.

Ody: "Here, son, this is how you tie a good knot when tying up animals. You pull it through-"

Tele: "Uh, Father, I already know how to do that... I learned this when I was around 13..."

Ody: "...Yes! Of course! Well done!"

But deep down he's so so sad. Telemachus already knows so many things already. Learned the things that Odysseus wanted to teach him but couldn't. Telemachus realizes this too, and I can imagine him sometimes pretending not to know something or, at the very least, letting his father tell the same instructions again to cheer him up.

I'd like to imagine Penelope notices Odysseus being sad about it and so she reminds him of a trick he did while young, something Telemachus doesn't know how to do. BUT IT HAS TO BE SOMETHING GOOFY! Could it be woodworking? Sure, but I also really fucking want it to be something absolutely goofy. Woodworking is useful, as is fighting, swimming, archery, etc.

Party Trick-level stuff! I want people to be watching the king and prince do something silly and ridiculous but the two of them are having the time of their life, fucking juggling or something.

[stonedcoldfoxtarot]

5 Reasons You’re That Bitch

Something for the hotties and the secret hotties ft. lyrics by Megan the Stallion

Pile 1 -> Pile 2

Pile 3 -> Pile 4

Pile 1

7oS, Hierophant, Empress, 4oC, 7oP, AoS, QoS, 10oP rev, 10oW, 5oW (2oS)

Many of you are strategic and move in silence. Hoes mad, but you ain’t finna stop until you make it to tin-op and do all the things your haters say you could not (NDA)

You live life on your own terms. Don’t give a fuck about what a hatin’ ass bitch gotta say. Cause none of these hoes saying shit to your face and none of these hoes finna see you at the bank (Thot Shit)

Taken or single, men everywhere want you cause you’re a hot girl and you do hot shit. You make him spend his income on your outfit (Girls in the Hood)

You got a body-ody-ody that makes bitches wanna fight. They spend a lifetime tryna get this hot, but you not the one to play with, like a touch-me-not (Body)

You’re a savage, attitude nasty. Talk big shit but your bank account match it. Haters keep your name in their mouth, now they gaggin’ (Savage Remix ft. Beyonce)

Pile 2

Strength rev, Moon, 4oC, KoP rev, 5oC, Hermit, 4oW, 7oP, AoC, Magician (4oP)

You’re a certified freak, 7 days a week. Wet Ass P*ssy, make that pull out game weak. Some of you don’t cook and you don’t clean, but let you tell it, you got that ring (WAP)

You a real ass bitch, you know you got it lit. All year round it’s a hot girl summer, got a whole lot of options cause they know a bitch poppin’ (Hot Girl Summer ft. Nicki Minaj)

Every day you wake up paid and pretty. Bitches gotta come get their man before you put em in a trance. Cause you got that super nova..that grip, that choker (Cognac Queen)

Pile 2, you ‘bout your money, p*ssy out when you feelin’ real cunty. Men like you thick with the accent county, would sell their soul for a sniff of your undies (Tuned In Freestyle)

Fake ass bitches, fake ass hoes…you tint your windows and lock your doors. When you dip off everybody talking ‘bout a bitch “went ghost,” but, shit, that’s how you roll (Tina Snow Interlude)

Pile 3

KoW, 5oW, 7oP, 6oP, World, KoS, 3oS rev, AoS, Magician, Moon, KoP

Above all else you know your worth. You like all nice things and you like ice, bling-bing. You tell those boys ‘pipe up if you wanna pipe me’ (Pipe Up)

If a man fumbles you, it’s always his loss. You tell him ‘if you wanna leave then bye-bye-bye. I’m a big girl, so I won’t cry-cry-cry’ (Don’t Rock Me To Sleep)

You keep your hair did, nails did, everything did. You tell him ‘Get it for a bad bitch, spend it for a bad bitch. If you got some money, then trick on a bad bitch’. Pile 3 you a savage. Once you spend his money, you leave ‘em in the past tense (Sugar Baby)

Every time you pop out it gets scary for these hoes. You who every man’s wife fear, a thick-thighed nightmare. You the boogie-bitch, hoe, you every man’s type, yea (Scary ft. Rico Nasty)

Pile 3 you stay on your “Fuck you” shit, cause you done being nice. And when it comes to cuttin’ people off, you don’t ever think twice. Fuck it, bitch, you not nice (Not Nice)

Pile 4

Hanged Man rev, 8oP, Hierophant, 5oC, 2oP, Emperor, KoC, 5oS, Fool, AoC, Magician (8oW)

Might have had some setbacks but that was the past. You ain’t gotta worry ‘bout shit, money good. Cause you been out here grindin’ like you ain’t ate, while these hoes bringing nothing to the table but their plate (Money Good)

Pile 4, you have expensive tastes, only men who hate on you are the ones that can’t afford you. This is a motherfuckin’ broke male warning (Warning)

Bitches don’t like you ‘cause you cocky, well you cannot help that your sexy sell and you’re in love with your sexy self. You need a boo that’s gon’ sex you well (Bless The Booth Freestyle)

Pile 4, you’re all that and a bag of flamin’ hot chips. You a hot girl so talk yo shit (Flamin’ Hottie)

And you couldn’t care less if these bitches don’t like you, cause, like, you’re pretty as fuck. With a face like this and a bitch this paid, shit, what could a hoe say? (Her)

Thanks for reading🔮✨

© 2023 stonedcoldfoxtarot. All rights reserved. Please do not copy, translate, edit or redistribute.

[haveafuckingfanfic]

Just imagine when things finally settle down for Odysseus and he has both his family, his palace and his kingdom back.

Penelope tries to initiate affection, but Odysseus flinches and causes her to back off. She talks to him, ‘Ody I’ve been trying to help you, I keep trying but you reject me. What’s going on?’

Ody fucking breaks down, sobbing and goes on a rant. ‘Why?! Why do you still love me? I don’t deserve it. I’ve done so much. I’ve lost so many people. I killed so many men, I have so much blood on my hands. I’m a monster, Penelope, a monster!”

Pen just cups his face and forces him to look at her, “Because I love you, Odysseus. I love you, no matter what has happened, no matter what you have done or who you have killed. You came back to me…that’s all that matters to me.”

Ody hugs her as he sobs. His mind tells him she’s lying, but he knows what she says is true. She comforts him, wrapping him in her arms and clutching his head to her chest. She loves him. She always will…

[tumblerosestudios]

Okay so I've been listening to EPIC the Musical recently and can we talk about how it wasn't Ody's mercy that destroys him but his hubris and eventual ruthlessness? Like he would have gotten away from the Cyclops Scot free and saved most of his men had he not, after already doing his "nobody" trick, shout his fucking full legal name and zip code! Warrior of the Mind my ass you stabbed his eye not his ears!

Had he not done that one stupid thing out of callousness and hubris even with his crew being idiots and opening the windbag he would not have angered Poseidon, which would have meant he didn't have to deal with Circe, The Underworld, the Sirens, or Scylla, which wouldn't have lead to the mutiny which had his gaggle of idiots piss off Zeus and get themselves axed.

Odysseus' fatal flaw was neither mercy nor malevolence, it, like most Greek heroes, was Ego.