#Oda why is he so hot

[swampstew]

When he's a 'tough as steel' guy with a babygirl interior🥺

[franeridan]

i KNOW that oda is aware he's drawn some extremely gorgeous ladies since he obviously does that on purpose (though i believe he's unaware of just how beautiful some ladies he's drawn that stray too far from his usual model are), but I'm, like, pretty much convinced he has absolutely no clue he's also drawn some of the most good looking manga dudes out there. I'm sure he has no idea. He puts down lines and then he's like "???? why are people so obsessed with this guy he has barely shown up ever????" while we're all sitting here going heart eyes or whatever. It's been twenty-six years maybe it's time for him to get on with the program. It's like his experience with benn and ace in the very beginning taught him absolutely nothing

[merge-conflict]

me, pausing in the flow of my sentences to choose a word: how would johnny feel about oda? okay and what kind of annoyed descriptor would he use for him? probably not actually prettyboy because he's repressed even though oda is like stupidly pretty, ok focus! maybe his silly haircut? the asymmetrical cut that definitely has to get into his eyes? it's fair game. wait! johnny has an honestly very similar haircut in his alternate outfit, suggesting at some point he must have had it or would have liked to have the cut– wait, what am I saying johnny's a huge fucking hypocrite this is so easy for me–

me, chortling as I write down a single word after five minutes of staring into space: "hairdo"

[mako-island-moon-pool]

Personally of the belief that live action fans who go onto animanga posts uninvited like 'I DESPERATELY NEED YOU TO KNOW THAT I THINK THE ART STYLE IS UGLY EVEN THO THIS OPINION IS IRRELEVANT TO THE POST' should be hit with a big rock. We already moved past this ten years ago, get with it or get lost. Swallow the hunger inside of you that demands everything be palatable to you. Maybe you could stand to be a little uncomfortable for a while

[psy-ay-ay]

ohhhh..ohhh..oh..LAW..oh that law speech ohhhh

[hauntingblue]

Fujitora you stupid bitch!!!!

[grimmjow]

i just realized that clown is a guy????? like just a human guy???

[kyros-tha-soldier]

Bro is gorgeous, mesmerizing, beautiful, out of this world

[that-student-that-has-homework]

Portgas D. Ace Headcanons 01

Excuse me Oda-sensei, but that 40 year old Ace is simply criminal. Thank you so much for blessing us with him

Anyway! Have some Husband!Ace headcanons For more Ace content please head to my Tumblr MasterList

Ace is, respectfully, a huge simp for his wife

To the extent that the Whitebeard crew straight up jokingly awarded him with a “Biggest Wife Simp” Award

They made it look official and had Whitebeard sign it and everything. There's even a stamp.

Ace has it framed and hung proudly on the wall next to your bachelor’s degree / college diploma / degree in general. 

I feel like despite his own personal insecurities, Ace still manages to be an amazing father

I imagine Ace originally setting out for like one or two kiddos at most (because y'know...what if he's not good enough) and ending up with 3 or 4 kids

Thing is, that’s both your faults.

Ace is tender and goofy with his kids, and he’s so friggin caring: to the extent that…well wouldn’t it be neat to see him with maybe another 2 or 3 kiddos of his own? 

(Your husband is hot okay?)

In his case, he swears you have a unique glow about you when you’re pregnant. But more than that when he sees you with your first born, he suddenly wants a big family with you.

I imagine his kids are an eldest son, then his princess, then the youngest boy who takes after his uncle Luffy.

His kids aren’t parentified. He keeps his issues far, far, away from them. Besides, he’s got you by his side.

He was dedicated to making sure they got as much playtime as possible.

He heard about learning through play, and he is DEDICATED to doing that as much as possible

Ace’s kids are spoiled with affection, but not spoiled brats.

While it’s true he’d give them the world, he’d rather let them go get it themselves. 

For example: when they asked for a tree house, he gave them the greenlight immediately.

But they had to build it themselves.

It was a super fun project lasting a little over two months with the whole family involved.

Oh and the Whitebeard crew helped too.

It took a while to get the design down initially, then the shopping logistics and whatnot (they used a lot of math here - see education via play)

Building the thing took maybe a weekend or two because the Whitebeard Crew and even the Strawhats came over to help

(It was mostly Franky and Usopp doing work, Sanji was cooking with Thatch)

Uncle Luffy was not allowed near the construction zone after an accident.

They almost destroyed the tree house with their partying once

Ace’s kids were not happy and no one was allowed in the backyard for the rest of the night

He makes sure they have proper manners and self-defense skills

You had to help out here, no lie.

He admitted he needed your help, especially after a dinner with Garp where Makino tagged along to see Ace again

He puts all of his kids into martial arts classes

especially his princess - he’s so proud of her when she beats up bullies

He’s not great at discipline though to be honest. He probably goes about it similarly to Garp. 

Ace will not tolerate any of his kids being nasty to their mother. No matter the phase.

You will have to hold him back if you want to let them get their frustration off their chest.

He’ll let them talk, but you’ll have to keep a hand on him somewhere, his arm, his hand, his knee, his shoulder, his back and rub soothing circles

Let’s just say, “talk shit, get hit,” is Ace’s attitude towards anyone being demeaning towards you (more so with adults, not his kids, but that's why they get a scolding)

"Ace my love" (he melts every time you call him that) "the kids’ll start thinking you love me more than them if you do that"

"My kids won’t disrespect their mother though!"

"They’re just venting darling, and when they say or do something that violates my boundaries, I'll be sure to reinforce it. Lead by example right?"

If they ever feel like pissing Ace off for fun they can just say something kinda not nice about you and he'll get mad and they'll flee from him giggling like the little gremlins they are

Ace is veeeeeeeeerry physically affectionate and he isn’t shy about it at all.

At gatherings with the Whitebeard family, he will gladly seat you in his lap, he will happily hug you as you are seated.

His arm is on your waist most of the time.

They tease him to make him tone it down, he does not.

He, in fact, dials it up. Turns up the heat lol.

You have kids? Not in front of them? What do you mean, not in front of the kids? It’s important they know just how much he loves their mama!

So he will continue to be playful with his hugs and kisses and other displays of affection.

It’s nothing too over the top. Just hugs and quick pecks wherever.

Your entire head is fair game for his smooches, your arms (he loves kissing your pulse and then making eye contact, sneaky guy that he is), your shoulders.

Maybe lifting you and spinning you around. Cuddles. Little bites.

He will play-wrestle his kids to “fight” them over getting to cuddle you, and then he’ll just put all his weight on all of you in a group cuddle

Just to let you know, your kids also receive all the warmth and love of his affections.

When his sons are still tiny and adorable, he smooches them all over. The kisses grow less frequent as they grow older, but the hugs do not stop.

Oh no, hugs galore.

Ace still pecks his little princess on her forehead though

When they’re all under ten he’ll wrap them in a hug (after he chased them down and caught them so they’re laughing and screaming) and start smooching their cheeks while they laugh and try to get out of his grasp

Also yes she’s his princess, but that girl has no problem throwing a fully grown man twice her size around, he made sure of it.

I reiterate: Ace is not remotely shy about displays of affection

Like his eldest could have a friend over, and Ace would still launch a full scale hug attack using the rest of his troops (daughter/youngest)

It's complete with screeching, screaming, and a lot of laughter

His kids used to get teased for it, but it didn’t take more than a few conversations for them to instead jeer at the kids that teased them.

"You’re all jealous your parents don’t love you like ours do"

"How sad, your parents don't hug and kiss you"

Their dad, grandpa, uncle - uncles really, are all gremlins - it's in their DNA

The kids are really physically affectionate with each other as a result

Deadass they’ll be kicking the shit out of each other one second and the next they’ll be all cuddled and huddled up playing Mario Kart or something

Ace is his kids’ hero.

His sons aspire to have his level of fitness.

His daughter, when she’s older, uses him as a standard for dating

You're relieved

Ace is touched and a touch nervous, because he is aware of his shortcomings, though he works hard to keep improving

Of course when you look at him, a twinkle in your eyes, and tell him, “I’m so proud of her, I’m so proud of you!” He feels better

When you continue: “if she can find a guy like you, who cherishes her as much as you cherish me, I’d be so happy.”

Ace loves you so much he swears

[1pcii]

LITERALLY

i feel the need to gatekeep crocodile bc im kinda sick of ppl being weird abt his trans coding

[oikasugayama]

Hi can I request a chart on bsd boys with a super shy s/o ☺️

of courseeeee <3 i was horribly shy as a child and still am to some extent, so some of these assumptions are based on my own experience!

Though he likes your shyness, he sometimes finds it annoying

Akutagawa (likes that you keep to yourself in public so enemies tend to overlook you, but he doesn't like having conversations on your behalf because you're too shy to make a phone call), Fyodor (likes that you're quiet and keep to yourself when other people are around, but doesn't like when you get shy toward him), Jouno (likes that you don't approach people or start conversations, but hates when he has to guess what you want because you won't just say it).

He likes that you're shy and finds it very cute when you need him to help you with social things.

Nikolai (you cling to him in public; sometimes he likes to disappear and watch from afar as you panic and search for him because the look of joy and relief when you finally spot him goes straight to his heart), Ango (feels like you're safe from harm because you keep to yourself and let him run a lot of errands for you; he loves feeling needed by you), Sigma (is surrounded by bold people, so you're a breath of fresh air being fairly quiet and calm; he'd do anything for you at the drop of a hat and doesn't even realize you need the help because you're shy), Junichiro (is also fairly timid, so he likes having a quiet, introverted relationship with you; you spend a lot of time at home playing games and cuddling; he can overrule his own anxiety to do things for you), Bram (is endeared that you're quiet and shy when others are around; he hates when people consider you his trophy wife or ask if he has you under a spell; he'll get in fights with people over this), Poe is the only person you've ever met who's as shy as you are; he hides in public, he trembles when he has to ask for something; only you and Ranpo know how fun and silly he actually is, and only they know the same about you), Mori (adores your timidness and enjoys controlling you as much as you'll let him; it's not necessarily toxic but it can certainly get there...), Oda (considers you as beautiful as the cherry blossoms in the spring after a dark, cold winter; he'd do anything for you, no questions asked), Chuuya (enjoys protecting you, helping you, cheering you up; he does wish you could have a bit more confidence because he wants everyone to know how radiant you are, but he's content keeping your shine to himself).

He generally finds it cute when you get shy, but wants to help you be more confident.

Fukuzawa (understands that it can be scary to talk to people, so he never pushes you and while he happily does things for you, he also gradually coaches you into being more confident), Dazai (selfishly loves that you cling to him in public and need him to do things like order at restaurants on your behalf; he just wishes you knew how much power you have and thinks it'd be hot if you acted really confidently sometimes), Tachihara (feels so important when he gets to help you, but sometimes he wishes he had a bold, dynamic partner who would go out with him and do all the crazy things he wants to do without shying away), Atsushi (finds you very cute and is happy to do things that you're too shy to do, but he recognizes his own lack of confidence in you and wants you to blossom the way he did), Tetcho (thinks that you're sweet if not a bit naive and wants to make you happy; he also thinks you'd be happier if you didn't need to rely on him so much).

He gets annoyed when you're "overly shy" and wants you to be more confident.

Ranpo (doesn't understand why you can't just say what you want to say and do what you want to do; has no concept of anxiety and is not helpful), Kunikida (gets frustrated when your shyness messes up his scheduled plans; he wants you to be more confident for your benefit but also his), Fukuchi (tells you he doesn't want a partner he has to take care of, and tells you to get used to doing things on your own), Mushitaro (is very independent and wants a partner who is equally so; he gets annoyed when you need help or cling to him in public and constantly tries to make you more independent). (Bonus discussion on the longevity of these four relationships.)

[eroguron0nsense]

The Mysterious Mysteries of Mr Sir Crocodile (Character Analysis)

(Apologies in advance for discrepancies from my usual tone and for holding off on everyone who voted for this on my last poll. Honest to God I hope y'all enjoy this in some capacity because I've been procrastinating on this meta so long it's derailed ALL my other One Piece writing and I only accomplished it through addy-fuelled mania)

This was such a fucking pain to write. I really wanted to say something about Crocodile and what makes him so fascinating that wasn't like, another fan theory or just a set of headcanons, but that's easier said than done?? We could boil it down to immaculate design, screen presence, attitude, or just the fact that he got brought back as an unlikely ally who shocked everyone by saving the protagonist, but I don't know that those factors in and of themselves make for a villain who's become such an object of fandom obsession.

Whatever it is, it's certainly not backstory or depth, because 24 years and hundreds and hundreds of chapters after his introduction, we still know nothing about Sir Crocowani's past beyond a vague confrontation with the Late Great Edward Newgate (that apparently like, ruined his dreams or something?), and some totally-not-just-a-threat-to-out-him-if-he-betrayed-the-alliance blackmail material the Queen of the Queers is holding over his sandy reptilian ass. I was born and grew into adulthood in the time it took Oda to tell the world fuck all about where he's from or his inner thoughts, or his actual honest motivations and traumas.

All we have about this character are questions. Why did he save Luffy and Ace –very conspicuously after both of their lineages were revealed to the world– against all logic and reason? Does he have ties to the revolutionaries? Is he the long-lost son of Rocks D. Xebec? Did he bounce on Comrade Dragon's Monkey D and squirt out the fucking Warrior of Liberation? I assume Oda's going to tell us more about him, but at this point, he's managed to keep a tighter lid on Sir Crocs, Inc.'s past than the fucking Secret History

You may be wondering, dear reader: what the fuck is my point? What is there, at this final stage of Long Running Pirate Manga, for me–Frankie EroGuroNonsense, OP Tumblr Community Z-lister with like, 7 mildly popular meta posts under my belt–to write about the legendary Sir Krokorok that hasn't already been said or theorized? What eagle-eyed observations did I make while rereading Alabasta and writing toxic Crobin fanfic? Am I going anywhere with this? Sorta. Yeah.

Let's start with listing things we actually know about Crockpot, in roughly chronological (??) order: –attended Gol D.'s execution way back when he was my age, along with anyone else who's anyone from his generation.

–At some point, met and was known well enough by Iva that she could effectively blackmail him

–Made it far enough on the Grand Line, somehow getting to the New World, and managed to pick up an 81,000,000 bounty (low end for a warlord, presumably scouted fairly early in his career)

–Wanted to be Pirate King until he gave up on it, not 100% explicitly confirmed but most likely due to getting his ass beat so badly by Whitebeard that he settled for picking off small fry and racketeering behind a government desk job. This makes him profoundly relatable to the rest of us depressed fucking losers who acquiesce to our own mediocrity.

–At 30, after presumably licking his wounds for a hot minute, sets up shop in Alabasta, comes up with a clever evil plan to quietly build up enough arms to conquer the world with a WMD, and then gets his years-long bioterrorist coup attempt foiled by a 17-year-old.

The rest we know: after a brief moment of glory as the unsung MVP of Impel Down/Marineford, he immediately reverts to Failguy Mode, gives all his money to a literal clown, and consequently gets roped into the neverending uncontrollable PR nightmare that is Cross Guild. It's still super vague and we know little to nothing about his past before the Alabasta Saga (for all we know he had a fling with King Cobra)

...Onto his personality and mannerisms. This shit's a lot more revealing. Superficially, he's everything: immaculate Bond villain levels of charismatic villainy, unbelievably ostentatious, dripped out like a Pimp, constantly smoking cigars, absolutely dripping with smugness and grease and disdain. Owns exotic pets and a giant casino, and spends every waking moment either grinning like a maniac when he's got the upper hand or storming around in a fucking mood when anything goes mildly wrong.

He's also pretty hardened underneath all that, obviously couldn't have lived a day on the grand line or survived Impel Down Torture otherwise. But even in Alabasta, Crockery gives off an air of being distinctly more grounded and willing to get his hands dirty than other flashy, established villains who flaunt their wealth and status. A big part of it is just his really hyper-masculine indomitable tough guy persona, but even early on he's very much micromanaging his operation, fighting people hand to hand in (as opposed to, say, Doffy, who literally puppeteers people while lounging around) and makes a point to keep almost all of his followers at a distance and rely on them as little as possible. He rants a bit about how dreams and whatnot are pointless follies, as One Piece antagonists tend to do, and repeatedly taunts Vivi about how her idealism can't save her, but with the context that he wanted to find Laughtale himself, it feels a lot like projection.

The character trait that's harped on a LOT in canon, and probably the most pertinent one to whatever demons he has, is Croconaw's profound pathological distrust for everyone around him. It's a huge part of what makes him a good early foil to the Nefertari family and the Straw Hats, whose collective strength is derived from organic human connection; Crocalor, by contrast, makes sure that up until the very last moment, he keeps most of his people so distant from him that they genuinely have no idea he's even their boss. His relationship with Robin is interesting, but he turns on her immediately when he realizes she either can't or won't give him the location of Pluton and has his dramatic stabbing/"I forgive you" lines about how he never trusted her or anyone from the start. He says the same shit to Mihawk when he suggests they join forces, even citing their mutual distrust as a kind of paradoxical justification for why they'd actually work well together.

Arguably the only exception is Daz Bones, but even that relationship is still a pretty reserved one; one of the few traits Daz exhibits is a similar avoidance of human connections to his boss and even though they've ironically formed a bond despite it, I can't imagine that they're emotionally close. I find these more explicit declarations of paranoia a lot less indicative of what's actually going on in Croconut's head than subtext, but I feel inclined to mention them just because it more or less tells us that his background/trauma has something to do either with betrayal or alternatively just being jaded and deprived to the point of self-isolation.

Krookodile's character gets a little bit more interesting when we get to see him again in Impel Down being a smug little manipulative rascal right up until he gets blackmailed by his endocrinologist, which is definitely medical malpractice but also funny as hell. I also appreciate that literally the first thing he does after getting out of his cell is change into a big coat and cravat to keep up appearances, but it's not until Marineford proper that things get really complicated. Saving Luffy and Ace is the first selfless thing we see Crobat do–while yelling at Luffy that he needs to protect what matters to him properly, no less– and he just keeps fighting for them after that, teaming up with his most hated rival crew to cover Luffy's retreat and telling the entire WG to go fuck itself multiple times over. He fights everyone on sight with no regard for his own safety, talks mad shit to Doffy, and demonstrates a genuinely compelling amount of honest to god chivalry.

For a short time, we see Crocomotive less as a really entertaining cartoon villain and more as a person with hidden, profound emotions and a confusing moral code that's seemingly incompatible with the vicious little creature we met in Alabasta. We come to understand, in a few very brief lines that give us way more questions than answers, that Cromagnon has deep-seated, emotional convictions he actively suppresses, and that whatever baggage he has is probably tied to wanting to or failing to save something of his own. His resentment of Newgate, who he really really wants to have a go at (despite theoretically no longer caring about the ambitions of his youth) is indicative of a desire to revisit the fight that probably ruined his dream and ego, but it's also tinged with a deep-seated grudging respect for a living legend.

Crock–Afire Explosion's obvious seething hatred of Doffy also gives us a few more insights into what's wrong with him. On a surface level, it makes sense that he dislikes a profoundly obnoxious, even flashier fellow warlord who achieved more or less the same goal he set out to in a shorter time, fucks with his business, and then mocks him/tries to recruit him right after his very public defeat and imprisonment. He postures a lot, especially with his lines insisting he's on a higher level and that Doffy could only ever join him as a subordinate, but he's visibly steamed in their initial encounter and clearly hasn't liked him for quite some time. I bring this up because if we stretch our interpretation a little (for the sake of my argument), Croc Holliday's distaste for someone who's (outwardly) so much like himself and embodies all of his villainous characteristics from back in Alabasta might also suggest that deep down, he doesn't actually like the things they have in common; he sees right through Doffy because he's done the same shit and he hates what he sees.

Having gone over all that, I've come up with some key characteristics of Crocomelon that I'll use going forward:

–Extremely performative: puts an ungodly amount of energy into maintaining a carefully curated persona, and projecting a certain amount of power, masculinity, and prestige. Not necessarily an unnatural or inauthentic one, but a constructed and purposeful one nonetheless

–Deep-seated paranoia, hidden secrets; probably intertwined. Keeps personal details on tight, tight lockdown, probably afraid of being known.

–Constant projection of his own insecurities and failures onto other people, making a point to be uniquely cruel in Alabasta to an idealist who loves her people and a dreamer who wants to be the Pirate King.

Ironically, he demonstrably respects and defends two people–Luffy and Whitebeard–who theoretically embody everything he hates or scorns (ambition, goodness, love, connection, romanticism, greatness in the traditional sense) and he intensely dislikes the villain most like himself, or at least the one who shares a lot of his worst characteristics (ostentatious manipulative scheming rat bastard backed by people stronger than himself) –The Grinch's heart grew three sizes at Marineford because of like, the compelling power of brotherly love and reminders of his youth or something

SPECULATION, CONCLUSIONS??

The difficulty with writing anything definitive about Crocko's Basilisk is that he's such a mystery, which functionally lets the fanbase project literally whatever weird personality traits, potential backstories, or anything else they could possibly come up with onto him. So I want to be clear that I have absolutely no interest in theorizing about the specifics of his past or secret identity or potential baby daddy or anything along those lines; I'm only interested in what we can infer about his personality by extrapolating from canon. And the conclusion I keep coming back to, the one that I'm convinced is true on some level, is that Crocodile is living a lie and he fucking hates himself. Everything he does, from how he acts to what he claims to believe, is a desperate effort to cope with his own insecurity and failure and cover up a past version of himself he's deeply ashamed of.

Now, unfortunately, Oda did not conceive of Crocodile as a trans man but stories belong to the people and we can do what we want let's forget about that and play it straight because he's constantly performing gender as a means of compensating for a deep-seated shame and self-loathing from whatever traumas and secrets he keeps hidden. Even assuming he's a cis man, he deliberately chooses a hypermasculine persona with a Capital V Villain moniker and pimp outfit and speech pattern he's carefully curated to project masculine power–physical, political, and financial–and we know it's performance because we see him break kayfabe and get legitimately fucking angry whenever he's confronted by a person like Luffy, who's crazy and brave enough to try and do what he couldn't and risk everything for love and hope that he cannot bring himself to feel for another person, or reminders of the past he tries so desperately to bury.

The lessons he's wrongfully obtained from his past are as follows: Idealism is a weakness. Dreaming is a weakness. Connections to other people and being known are crippling liabilities (If he is, in fact, trans and closeted, that's all the more reason to be existentially disgusted by what he used to be). All the hope he brought to the Grand Line, all the excitement of trying to carry on where Roger left off, needs to be purged and buried because all he got to show for it was loss and humiliation. But he can't stop wanting more, and ironically, after he gives up on conquering the Grand Line, he ends up chasing the same fucking poneglyphs and weapons because his ambition's still there; it's just compromised and much more jaded.

Everything he does that's seemingly contradictory makes sense when you realize that Crocodile resents his failure and wants to avenge himself. He makes a big show of talking down to Luffy and Vivi's petty ideals and shit-talking Newgate and his family, but he still wants to fight Whitebeard like he did way back when and help Luffy protect what matters to him. He hates Doffy, who's honestly just a more successful schemer than he is because it's a constant reminder of what he settled for when he took that warlord post and fucking gave up. He claims to trust no one, but he keeps Daz by his side and rewards his loyalty because he can't help but trust someone who respects him so deeply and follows him to the ends of the fucking earth long after losing the material incentive to do so. He claims to look down on people who aim for the stars and fight for love and joy and freedom and yet, in his most vulnerable moments–not in the face of violence or imprisonment, but when he's emotionally compelled to defend a child and help save his brother–we see how badly he wants that for himself.

TLDR: Crockman Holic is deeply insecure in his masculinity, desperately needs psychological help, and his character/potential redemption arc in One Piece is just dealing with his midlife crisis.

[osamucide]

BSD COFFEE ORDERS! ⊹

inspired by this post by @alyszuha! I thought it was so silly and as a former barista it sparked my imagination lol. very little context for these

DAZAI is a sweet coffee drinker. I think he secretly wishes he could be a black coffee fan but he can hardly get it down without four plus pumps of butter pecan syrup and an absurd amount of sugar. probably an iced latte regular. oat milk.

ATSUSHI doesn’t mind black coffee but everything tastes good when you grew up in poverty. he prefers it iced with yummy sweet cream cold foam on top, though.

KUNIKIDA is a plain black light roast truther. doesn’t care if it tastes like shit. he’d spike it with coke and gasoline if it meant it’d help him get through dealing with Dazai everyday.

RANPO would do ungodly things for a caramel frappe. extra whipped cream and caramel drizzle, please.

YOSANO is another black coffee drinker, but I think she’s a little picky about it. loves a good medium roast.

KYOUKA, I think, has residual paranoia from Kouyou telling her coffee would stunt her growth like Chuuya so she’s a tea drinker. sweet green tea, hot or iced, is her go to.

KENJI loves matcha! it’s so earthy and reminds him of home. hot or iced, maybe with some strawberry flavoring.

FUKUZAWA is the reason Ranpo fiends for caramel fraps. he probably gets it with an absurd amount of caffeine, though. I’m talking like, six shots of espresso.

TANIZAKI regularly rotates between vanilla lattes, chai teas, and green teas.

NAOMI gets whatever Tanizaki’s getting.

CHUUYA drinks hot salted caramel lattes pretty much exclusively.

AKUTAGAWA drinks a plain, scalding hot Americano because he thinks it makes him look hard. in reality, he thinks they’re kinda gross so he dumps assloads of sugar in them.

TACHIHARA loves a good chai latte, especially if it’s extra spicy, ya know? something about spicy chai. prefers it hot.

GIN strawberry Italian soda drinker is real to me.

HIGUCHI got put onto to strawberry Italian sodas by Gin. I think, after a while though, she starts to try out different flavors and comes to prefer peach.

MORI doesn’t go to cafes. he has a Keurig in his office and has Hirotsu buy him those huge boxes of donut shoppe/breakfast roast by the tens. stacks them up stupidly. straight black. no less than five cups a day.

ODA seems like he’d be a redeye drinker. silky espresso + a nice medium roast? he loves it.

ANGO drinks a cappuccino, probably with only the finest espresso, too.

POE is a cold brew drinker. I think he probably plays around with flavors and splashes of different types of cream; he really likes a vanilla and caramel cold brew with a splash of whole milk.

FYODOR drinks Raf coffee! it’s a Russian classic from the 90s (the origins are neat and I actually think they’re pretty yummy)

NIKOLAI absolutely drinks tuxedo mochas. wants them disgustingly sweet. all that sugar and caffeine is probably why he’s bouncing off the damn walls all the time.

SIGMA probably drank Raf coffee and mochas for a while because of his colleagues. when he starts branching out on his own, though, he discovers he really likes fruity lattes. blueberry, strawberry, or blackberry flavoring is at the top of his list.

TETCHOU would drink what I would call a mocha for lack of a better term, I guess? but he more or less just gets chocolate syrup dumped directly into black coffee.

JOUNO pumpkin spice latte enjoyer is canon Asagiri told me so. I don’t think he’s too picky about coffee, though (unless it’s Tetchou’s ghastly combination).

[kakusboyfriend]

Like at this fucking point u have to realize that Kalifa beating up Sanji solely bc he couldn't fight back is insanely more misogynistic than having him fight her directly. I'd rather have him hit her.

My issues with the matchups in enies lobby would be easily fixed if CP9 had, say, a 9th member.

[cirilla-fiona-riannon]

KENSHIN UESUGI'S SEQUEL

Translations may not always capture the exact nuances or tone of the original text. Expect grammatical errors and inaccuracies. Not proofread.

(What time is it now?)

(What was I doing?)

Kenshin: "Mai! Pull yourself together."

Mai: "Kenshin."

Under the blazing sunset, Kenshin cradled my collapsed body in his arms.

Kenshin: "Mai, look at me. Don't close your eyes."

He looked down at me, his hair swaying in the wind, soaked in the blood of the battle.

The pain and despair in his expression tightened my heart.

(That's right. We were right in the middle of the fight with Kicho.)

(My memories are starting to get fuzzy.)

The Oda army and the Uesugi-Takeda armies engaged in battle to intercept Kicho.

However, the two armies suffered significant blows from Kicho, who had procured a staggering amount of weapons abroad.

Moreover, Motonari, who commanded a naval force, emerged, attacking the ports one after another, halting the distribution of goods in Japan.

As a result, the security of various regions worsened, and even the once-bustling town around Azuchi Castle was on the verge of collapse.

(Not only that, but...)

Shingen's illness was also deteriorating even faster.

(Kenshin and the others have opposed me many times, but I was so scared about losing that I couldn't stop myself.)

As I continued to turn back time, I lost control of the distortion in space-time, and now, regardless of my will, time leaps had begun to trigger almost automatically.

Mai: "I'm sorry, I did it again."

Kenshin: "Don't speak. I understand."

Kenshin: "I understand."

(Kenshin.)

Kenshin repeated this as if trying to reassure himself.

(I tried restarting everything for a better future, so why is this happening?)

I could clearly see that Kenshin's heart was gradually breaking as if it were accumulating all of his suffering.

(All I wanted was to return to his side and be his source of strength, but...)

Was that a mistake?

Is this what happened when an ordinary human messed with time?

My hazy mind couldn't come up with a good answer.

(I only hope that Kenshin's heart will remain calm from now on.)

(That's what I wished for, so…)

Mai: "Why isn't it working out?"

Kenshin: "Mai."

He bit his lip tightly and growled low like a beast.

At the sound of his sorrowful voice, my eyes grew hot, and tears began to trickle down my cheeks.

(Huh?)

Suddenly, the space around me distorted, and I felt dizzy.

Kenshin: "Your body..."

(Body?)

The palms he spread in front of my face were transparent like glass.

When I looked, my arms and legs were beginning to lose their outlines.

(I'm disappearing.)

I instinctively understood.

This was the price for rewinding time too much.

Mai: "This is goodbye, Kenshin."

Kenshin: "No. I won't allow you to disappear."

Kenshin: "I'll take you to a safe place now, so stay still."

Mai: "Kenshin, please listen."

I placed my translucent, weakening fingers on Kenshin's pale cheek.

Mai: "I know this because I'm the one who kept distorting time."

Mai: "This is a bit different from death. I'll become someone who never existed in the first place."

Mai: "I'll vanish without a trace, erased even from people's memories."

Kenshin: "…...…"

Kenshin: "Will that include my memory as well?"

Mai: "Yes."

His words faltered as though something was caught in his throat.

(I wanted to be with him.)

(I wanted to spend a long time together, to stay by his side even as we aged.)

(But there's one thing that gives me peace.)

If he doesn't remember me, he won't have to suffer in despair.

(His heart won't have to break.)

(He'll be able to stay calm.)

The dizziness grew worse, and keeping my eyes open became painful.

My arms and legs felt numb, and even breathing became difficult. Yet, with the last of my strength, I continued to gaze at him.

Mai: "Please, be safe and find happiness."

As I whispered my farewell, he pulled me into a tight embrace.

Kenshin: "I don't want happiness without you."

Kenshin: "I'd rather face despair and lose my sanity than live that way."

Mai: "But—"

Kenshin: "Stop. Don't say it!"

His anguished cry made my chest ache.

Kenshin: "Mai, don't disappear."

(I'm sorry.)

Mai: "I'm sorry, Kenshin."

Kenshin: "………"

With a look of agony, he gazed up at the sky.

Kenshin: "If there's a god who controls the flow of time, please hear me!"

Kenshin: "This woman is my everything, my partner in all fate."

Kenshin: "I can shoulder the turning points of history, so feel free to use me as you like. I'll even throw away the glory and the thrill of battle to serve you if that's what you want. So please, return my beloved to me!"

The intensity of his love, utterly unrestrained, was so heartbreaking that it brought tears to my eyes.

(Even so, I'm happy.)

Mai: "Thank you, Kenshin. I love you too."

(Even if everything about me disappears, please let this feeling remain.)

(Even if it's just a tiny fragment, I hope someday it reaches him.)

A blinding light enveloped us both.

500 years into the future.

There, a peaceful world existed just as Mai had once known.

On a calm afternoon, Sasuke paused as he entered the research lab after opening the door.

Sasuke: "If you were here, you could've at least told me."

Sasuke: "Didn't I give you a smartphone the other day?"

Kenshin: "It broke."

Sitting by the window, Kenshin crossed his legs and casually replied while reading a book.

Sasuke: "Didn't you mean you broke it? Well, whatever."

With practiced hands, Sasuke placed green tea and pickled plums on the table before Kenshin.

Sasuke: "Here you go. I can't serve alcohol on campus, so this will have to do."

Kenshin: "Boring."

Kenshin pulled the plate of pickled plums closer and closed the book he had finished reading.

The cover read, The Life of Takeda Shingen.

Sasuke: "Did you enjoy that book?"

Kenshin: "Not really. It's just a story about Shingen overcoming his illness and living a long life."

Sasuke: "Thanks to you, of course."

Sasuke picked up the book, flipping through its pages.

Sasuke: "That day, you suddenly appeared before me and told me to complete my research on wormholes so that Shingen could be saved."

Sasuke: "When you pointed a sword at me in the street, I wasn't sure what to do."

------------Flashback-----------

Kenshin: "I found you, Sasuke."

Sasuke: "Uh, is this some kind of filming?"

Kenshin: "What's my trusty ninja doing acting so clueless? Say something stupid again, and I'll cut you down!"

Sasuke: "Please, just say it's a film shoot."

---------Flashback Ends--------

Sasuke: "You said the me you remember was a ninja, and looking back, it all feels like something out of a novel."

As Sasuke muttered this with nostalgia, Kenshin glanced at him while sipping his tea.

Kenshin: "Yet you obeyed my orders without hesitation."

Sasuke: "Yes. At the time, I hadn't even told my professor about my research on wormholes."

Sasuke: "I had no choice but to believe you."

The man who had suddenly appeared before him spoke of wormholes and time leaps as if he'd seen them firsthand, shocking Sasuke more deeply than the sword pointed at him.

Sasuke: "After that, I threw myself into completing the time travel theory."

Sasuke: "I convinced Lord Shingen to come to the present, arranged for him to get surgery through connections, and sent him back to the warring states era."

Sasuke: "It was quite a hard-mode mission."

Kenshin: "If you're my ninja, accomplishing at least that much should be expected."

Sasuke: "Because of this other version of myself I don't know, the expectations for me are way too high."

After muttering this, Sasuke gently closed the book.

Sasuke: "Still, it seems that with Lord Shingen's survival, the warring states period has settled down."

Kenshin: "I also told him about Kicho."

Kenshin: "By putting his personal feelings aside and forming an alliance with the Oda forces, he left no openings for enemies to exploit."

Sasuke: "Thanks to that, the conflicts that had spread across the land quickly settled, and Japan entered an era of peace."

Sasuke: "Of course, no war would last another five hundred years."

Turning his face toward the window, he looked out at a prosperous, peaceful scene with no swords or guns in sight.

Sasuke: "Everything you did was for that woman named Mai, right?"

Kenshin: "That’s right."

With eyes filled with resolve, Kenshin's fingers clenched tightly.

Kenshin: "In the past, I wished to have my beloved returned to me in exchange for bearing the burden of historical turning points."

Kenshin: "The fact that I am here means there was a presence that heard that wish and set a mission for me."

Kenshin: "I took on the role of ending the warring states period and guiding us back to a normal future at that time."

That day when he held Mai, and cried out to the heavens, everything changed from that moment on.

Kenshin: "I don't believe in gods, but if it means resisting fate, I'll cling to anything."

Sasuke: "..........."

Kenshin: "I live without going mad for the sake of that small hope."

Kenshin: "But I guess you could say that obsession is just another kind of madness."

His restrained, low voice trembled with sadness, causing Sasuke's chest to ache as he listened.

Kenshin: "I've made you listen to such trivial things."

Sasuke: "It's fine, but I hope you can meet that woman someday."

Kenshin: "Yeah. I’ll definitely find her."

With his long eyelashes lowered, Kenshin stood up and headed towards the door that led to the hallway.

Sasuke: "Are you leaving? You forgot your book."

Kenshin: "I'll leave it. It's an apology for that broken smartphone of yours."

Sasuke: "Oh, so you do feel a little bad about it."

Sasuke: "Next time, I'll have a new one ready for you."

Without responding to the voice that followed him from behind, Kenshin quietly exited the room.

Leaning against the wall, Sasuke let out a small sigh.

Sasuke: "Mai, where are you?"

After that, even as the sun set, Kenshin walked alone through the brightly illuminated streets.

Kenshin: "The future is overflowing with lights."

As if guided, memories floated in his mind.

------------Flashback-----------

Mai: "Do you still think this firefly's light is foolish yet beautiful, Kenshin?"

Kenshin: "Their light that reaches out to their loved one, even when it means risking everything, shines in my eyes like something beautiful and deserving of respect."

---------Flashback Ends--------

A long time has passed since then. Yet, the feelings that never faded have grown even larger, and the light that danced in the darkness etched in his memory was still dazzling.

Kenshin: "Where are you, Mai?"

As he moved forward without showing any interest in the towering buildings or the elegantly dressed people around him,

Kenshin: "-----!"

His gaze became fixed on a woman walking across the main street.

Despite the throngs of people filling the area, she appeared to shine in Kenshin's eyes.

Kenshin: "I finally found you."

[Mai’s POV]

(Good thing I decided to check out the exhibition!)

I was walking in front of the station, holding a newly purchased design art book.

(Still, I wonder when this discomfort in my heart will finally disappear.)

Whenever I touch something I've loved since long ago, an unfamiliar sadness wells up inside me.

It's as if the memory of having lost something important is tingling inside me.

(But that's not the case.)

To shake off the gloomy feelings, I lowered my gaze to the art book.

Mai: "Alright, I'll study this carefully."

(Whoa!?)

Suddenly, someone yanked my arm from behind, causing my body to sway.

Startled, I looked up to see a breathless man looking down at me.

(Huh?)

The man, with a face reminiscent of sculpture, spoke up.

???: "Mai!"

(-----!)

The moment he called my name, warmth filled my eyes.

Mai: "Huh?"

(Why am I crying?)

My vision blurred, and warm droplets ran down my cheeks.

No matter how much I wiped them away, I couldn't stop the tears from falling.

Mai: "I’m sorry! I don't know why I'm..."

???: "........."

The man bit his lip sadly and gently wiped the tears from my eyes.

His palm was warm, gentle, and slightly trembling.

(This person has different colored eyes.)

(What is this feeling?)

An incomprehensible emotion stirred my chest like a storm.

???: "First of all, I apologize, but I can't let you go now."

Mai: "But this is the first time we've met, right?"

My voice trembled as I asked the question.

The gaze directed at me was so sharp and intense.

(Why does he look at me like this, even though we've just met?)

???: "That's right. But I have been waiting for you all this time."

(Oh.)

He gently pulled me into his arms.

Mai: "L-Let me go!"

???: "No."

Even though I was confused, I couldn't shake off the warmth that enveloped me.

(I know this warmth, but I can't remember.)

(I don't know anything. I don't even know his name.)

When I raised my gaze, my eyes locked with his as he stared at me.

???: "I finally found the piece of my soul."

His earnest voice weighed heavily on my chest.

(My heart is trembling so much.)

(I want to return his feelings, but I can't remember him.)

It feels as though something unseen is holding me back. 

I wanted so badly to embrace this man whose name I didn't even know. Yet, just as I was about to wrap my arms around him, I stopped.

(Why? It feels like I don't have the right to.)

Mai: "I'm sorry."

???: "Why are you apologizing?"

Mai: "I don't know. But it feels like I have to."

(I mean, there has got to be something I should apologize for.)

I desperately held back the sob that threatened to escape.

???: "Mai, no matter how much you try to refuse me, I will continue to call you, even if it costs me my life."

With an expression mixed with frustration and loneliness, he tightened his arms around me even more, as if he were binding my heart for eternity, stopping all time around us.

[obsidianstrawberrymilk]

Anyways I'm bored BSD no nuance hot takes

Yosano could probably beat pretty much everyone in the series with the exception of Fukuchi bc. Y'know

Dazai's not that hard of a character to understand if you've had depression from a relatively young age

Chuuya's not an alcoholic

He is gonna have heart problems when he gets older though

Kyouka's mischaracterization is so blatant in fandom but basically never bought up

Naomi and Junichiro have relatively equal amounts of focused screentime and development and in fact Naomi shows more initiative separate from Junichiro than he does from her

Also the theory she's a manifestation of his Ability has already been disproven

idk if this is even a hot take. Mori's not a predator. It's annoying and inaccurate and also boring as fuck to insist he is.

People write Ranpo too nice. Ya'll he's an asshole let him act like one.

Any problems people have with how Kunikida 'treats' Dazai are the same as how Chuuya treats Dazai and there's like zero argument there

Dazai wouldn't self harm

Atsushi's a great main character, one of the most interesting in the series, and does his damn job AS the main character

Chuuya's a good character, yes. There are also other fucking characters in this damn series than him and Dazai

Oda and Dazai pedestalized one another; this wasn't a healthy dynamic. However Oda really did understand Dazai in the end of Dark Era and WAS the reason Dazai was able to better himself and move away from a path that was gonna kill him and was one of the only people who could have convinced him to better himself.

The ADA-PM trade isn't gonna happen

Kunikida is both a well developed and fascinating character who's behaviors stem from stress, trauma, and likely high functioning mental illness, and is not as predictable as fandom makes him out to be

Also this isn't even a hot take but neither he nor Teruko are perma dead

Akutagawa did in fact Do That Shit. He did in fact Think That Way. He's having development but he does still believe the weak deserve to die and is only now learning not to have his instinctive reaction be murder. Like he can do what he wants but the fact his development is so good is undercut if you ignore how he started.

Also the PM is like. Not a good place? For anyone? Like the characters are sympathetic and we've been made aware of the complexities surrounding how it benefits the city but also as an organization and structure it's not at all healthy and BSD is. Pretty clear about that.

This fandom is like definition of "why are you going for moral simplicity in the nuance store" or however that post goes credit to the postmaker