#OTHER HALF. LITERALLY ALL THEY NEED IS EACH OTHER

[writing-zelda-brainrots]

It’s time for me to yap more about Return by Death!Reader. I might do more later, but this is all the brainworms I have for now.

Wild and [Name] are kind of like mirror images of each other: both feeling like they failed when they were needed the most, both feeling like they can’t lose another friend, and a metric assload of self-esteem issues. Where Wild’s issues come from not remembering enough, [Name]’s come from remembering too much. Both of them have had to deal with the expectations that people placed onto them, with Wild having separated himself from his past (to the point where he literally regards his past “self” as a different person), and [Name] still learning to deal with everything.

If we’re going with the assumption that Satella/the Witch of Envy is still the one in control of RbD, then Wars would definitely relate to having a lovesick witch constantly watching you. That is to say, if he ever finds out about it. You might drop some hints that someone is very attached to you in a very much Not HealthyTM way. He doesn’t really like talking about Cia, but he will do so if he thinks that his experiences can help you with your problems. He still won’t go into detail, but it’s still enough to know that he cares and pays attention.

And, yes, I do think that Wars pays a lot of attention to their mental state. I mean, at this point how could he not? And being the nosey person he is (ahem, that time he stole Wild’s vai clothes), he does talk to the others about what they think is going on with [Name]. He’s slowly trying to piece things together, but he can’t really test his theory and asking you is a dead end, so his ideas are still kind of half-baked.

One thing that I left out of the original post (because I couldn’t find a way to organically fit it in there) was that [Name] is actually pretty scared of the Fierce Deity. They still don't even know that FD knows about RbD or that he wants to help them.

Their first ‘real encounter’ involved FD killing [Name] at the end of a failed timeline where everything had gone wrong. In FD’s defence, he did not yet know about RbD and it was really a mercy kill to put them out of their misery so they wouldn’t see what had happened to the rest of the group or face a brutal death at the hands of monsters. Also their body was basically already giving out due to prior wounds.

It was only in a later point in time, where Time was showing Wind his masks, did [Name] see the Deity's mask up close and realize what that thing they saw back then was.

I do think that FD would tell Time about RbD, but I personally think that they can’t communicate unless someone wears the mask. And because Time does not want to use it, that secret stays untold. Also there’s the chance that the curse will activate, even if [Name] is not even taking part in the conversation, so I do think that there’s a bit of hesitation there.

[unreesonable]

Screenwriting advice from Mackenzie Crook, Reece Shearsmith & Jed Mercurio

Snippets from the 2015 Bafta Guru TV Craft Sessions - full video in link above. Transcript of the clips below

Interviewer: I'm delighted to be here with the TV and BAFTA Craft nominees for writing, both in comedy and TV drama. Our three lauded writers are Reece Shearsmith for "Inside Number Nine," Mackenzie Crook for "Detectorists," and Jed Mercurio for "Line of Duty." I'd like you all to tell us a little bit about each of your programmes. reece.

Reece: Well, "Inside Number Nine" is an anthology series, which is a very unusual thing, I think, to exist these days. I mean, you couldn't move for them in the '70s, and it was kind of what I grew up loving and watching. The half-hour play, "Play for Today," was a very appealing, enjoyable thing to me because you didn't know what you were going to get - same as "Alfred Hitchcock Presents," "The Twilight Zone," and of course "Tales of the Unexpected."

And that has gone out of fashion, I think, a little bit because of the mythical idea that if you're not following a set of characters, you won't return to the programme. And that's why they're not commissioned these days very much. But our argument, when we went in and pitched the idea of doing such a thing, was that if they were good you would forgive them for whatever they were. And I think we just really wanted to do that thing of kind of like chamber pieces - we talked about them being these quite claustrophobic little plays, and I think that was what drove us to do it.

Interviewer: OK and Reece what about the inspiration behind your series ?

Reece: Again, it was kind of just stuff that is enjoyable to research yourself. Some things came literally - "Sardines," episode of "Inside Number Nine," came when Steve and I write in a room in Muswell Hill and there's a massive wardrobe in the corner, and we were just literally one day - we'd been staring at it every day for however many months that we sit in that room, and then one of us said, "What about a game of sardines?" Initially, that was a funny idea just to think, well, we could just one at a time fill it with people arriving and hiding in the wardrobe. There was a version of that script that was simply that, and that was enough. Then we read it back and thought it's not enough - it's good, it's funny, and there's some quite funny dialogue in it, and it's slightly awkward, but there was something missing.

It wasn't until we went back in and peppered in the vague dread of the revelation of the child abuse that we realised that instantly elevated it into something much more fruitful. And that's always the way with our writing, I think. We are never satisfied with the first root idea of a gentle - you know, we tried to do it, and we can never do it, always feels lacking if there isn't somebody being murdered or some kind of dreadful extra element that just heightens it and gives you an element of jeopardy and peril in a supposed half-hour comedy that you would get in a drama. And I think that's why people are sometimes shocked by what we do because they are smuggled into a half-hour comedy, whereas you would be ready for it if it was at 9:00 on BBC 1 and you were set up for a drama. But I think we do things that are not that outrageous, but I think that they are a bit blindsiding because they are in the guise of comedy and maybe more powerful because of it.

Interviewer: And Reece for you - what's your writing process?

Reece: Well, we talk a lot, Steve and I. I couldn't - I admire the fact that these two write alone. I couldn't do it, I don't think. I think I need to have the instant reaction from Steve. If we can make each other laugh in the room, if it's comedy, then it goes in generally. But there's a lot of talking about - with these particular "Number Nines," being self-contained stories, we talk a lot about what the idea might be. Sometimes we've had - we've got an ending we might want to get to, or we've thought of a character that could be in something, and it's like crafting a story then and how do we most leanly tell it and what scenes do we need to get this across in however... you now, judiciously.

I think we do that because we fear the idea of beginning and feeling a little bit wayward in where we're going. But we have done that before, and I think sometimes we've written ourselves... Much like the Coen brothers when they wrote "Blood Simple" - they deliberately enjoyed writing themselves into corners and then thinking how does the character get out of it rather than being kind of ahead of the characters, which is a joyous thing and also quite surprising to yourself.

With these, some of the surprises at the end we've changed - we've thought we've had one route in our mind and we've thought, "Actually, now looking at it, we've got a third of the way in, I think people are going to - this is obvious to us," so we've changed it. So that's hopefully second-guessing what people think the story might be going. So that's been enjoyable. Writing a lot, talking a lot, and then beginning to be able to write it down with what we need to get out of the scenes as far as exposition and trying to hide the exposition. And then finally there's a pass that's "and why is it funny?" and hopefully that's the final kind of bit that puts it into BBC comedy. You know, it is meant to be funny. A lot of our things are not funny, I concede, but it's because we kind of enjoy the drama and the tension and the release of that in the mechanics of telling a joke. So yeah, a lot of writing before we dare to write so that we're not trapped not knowing where we're going.

Interviewer: Well, gentlemen, thank you so much for being so talented, being so generous with your wisdom and your experiences, and the very best of luck tomorrow night.

All: Thank you, thank you.

[centrally-unplanned]

Oh since I mentioned it before and am catching up now, I thought I would explain why I think Severance is just a "fine" show - well produced, great sets, but thematically confused. It is trying to do two things that sit in tension with each other: be "capitalist drudgery" and also "sci fi corporate dystopia".

(Spoilers ahead) In the lore of the show you see people who get "severed" (Aka split brains that swap periodically with no continuity of memory between them) outside of the core group who work at the Big Lumen HQ - like a rich woman who swaps into her alt to give birth so she can skip the painful parts. This is the economically logical use of the technology, ethics aside it makes sense as a consumer good. Working at Lumen is often portrayed as a productive extension of that - we can get focused workers who can do sensitive tasks with minimal distractions and maximum corporate control, and the actual person can "skip" the drudgery of the work. If I told you just that, you would expect these workers to be sort of desk-chained, doing intensive work, probably clandestine in nature.

But we only half-see that - the other half is as Office Space pastiche of irrelevant busywork, vapid corporate team building, and a truly gargantuan amount of time spent totally fucking off in the hallways generally unsupervised. Those both are "anti-corporate" but they are very different critiques! Take the pregnant lady - she and her alt are not, in any way, closeted off from the world with no knowledge of who she is. Arranging that would be a colossal waste of time! The lady lives her normal life and then just swaps into her alt for unpleasant stuff, of course her alt knows the deal. In the same way, if these workers are, in their primary identities, completely free agents as they seem to be, there is absolutely no reason for their workplace to look the way it looks. Why wouldn't you tell Dylan he has a wife and kids at home who his work is putting food on the table for to help motivate him? Why are any of these people motivated by the dumb workplace incentives if - like Helly - they all have memories of the facts of the outside world? Why would these guy's primaries ever consent to have zero ability to ever perceive their other selves, even as they "come home" with bodily injuries? If the world was a Corporate Dystopia that would make sense, they have no choice, but Office Space isn't a corporate dystopia.

And Helly, what are you doing?! You don't live in a corporate dystopia, you run it, you are the CEO-heir of this whole company doing the Severance thing as a publicity stunt. So if it is a stunt, why aren't you stunting it? Tell your alt she is the heir of a massive fortune, we are gonna have fun here, give her a cushy job and pose for some pretty workplace-glam shots. Or, I don't know, just lie and say you got the severance surgery when you didn't! Why would you torture yourself into a suicide attempt for a photo op? Since the actual work they are doing is constantly portrayed as nonsense, the Office Space critique, she clearly wasn't needed down there for the actual job. Which isn't even that bad to do as a job, you could absolutely just pay people well and be honest and not-creepy and they would do it.

Now, I know that the work will likely turn out to not be nonsense in the Office Space way, but instead be part of some elaborate experiment or psyop or w/e. But then the coin flips back, if this is a CIA wetwork shop why are there Waffle Party Sex Dances in a Founders Museum? Why can these people literally just quit at any time?

I have no doubt that a writer could work double-time to fill all these holes in future episodes, but that is a minimal saving grace - thematics isn't about plot holes. Office Space is not a story of corporate power run amok, the bosses are just as powerless as the employees, and that is the point. Meanwhile if you want to tell a Black Mirror story, you tell that instead. As a viewer I am meant to feel like the "innies" are trapped and powerless, but I really don't because they aren't - their outies and the wider world are just being stupid. So I don't feel that emotion in the story when watching the episodes. You can't write around it now.

Admittedly some of this problem is downstream of a general problem in western "prestige" TV where they feel like they really need to JJ Abrams this whole thing with the mystery box plot. The show would be much improved if you knew the general stakes of this project right out the gate, and were watching the hapless workers trying to figure it out what you already knew. Then you could make those stakes align with your themes/tone and commit. The current drip-feed meanwhile just keeps things confused.

Doing that would also let you cut the episode count in half, but that is a problem with all shows - I can't really judge this one in specific for that.

[addynosketchpad]

here's a list of my aus

Random Fire AU - A random fire scatters everyone. People die, people get hurt, people try to find their friends. Lightning struggles with survivor's guilt after watching both Marker and Fanny die in front of him, even as Bubble tells him it wasn't his fault. Black Hole kidnaps his friends. Blocky and Woody probably make out in a tent. Inspiration: A dirty eraser I found in my art box and decided to draw as Eraser BFDI.

Hallucination Cabin AU - A mysterious cabin in the woods. If you go in, you'll get lost in all the doors and hallways. When you do find the door, your friends will tell you that it's not so bad, you could stay here forever. The problem is that none of your friends actually came here with you. Inspiration: idk man. i just wanted angst i think

Rainbow Rocks AU - Death PACT Again takes the place of the Rainbooms in the Rainbow Rocks movie. The original Alliance takes the place of the Dazzlings. A few story bits get changed because Bubble would never try to feed on people's hate and arguments. Inspiration: My Little Pony Equestria Girls Rainbow Rocks

Friendship Games AU - Death PACT Again and are you okay FIGHT!!!! Meanwhile Pen is messing around with Black Hole's gravity power stuff and eventually turns into a weird human-singularity hybrid. And now Pie has to go stop him. Also features math. Inspiration: My Little Pony Equestria Girls Friendship Games

Bigender Eraser AU - Eraser is bigender. Eraser uses he/she pronouns. That's literally all it is. Nothing else changes. Inspiration: The "Give her here, Pencil!" argument

Villain AU - Tennis Ball gets himself stuck in a world where everyone he knows is a comic book villain. Fortunately Dynaslinger, Mischief Master, and the Puppeteer are willing to help him out! Also Roboty is the only normal guy Inspiration: i don't remember

Project SEKAI Imaginary Friendgroup AU - Fries plays guitar, Tree plays piano, Snowball plays drums, and Donut plays bass. They play music with either Hatsune Miku or just an Eraser hologram. Inspiration: Project SEKAI Colorful Stage Leo/need

Puffball Dies AU - Puffball dies in a car crash and Fries experiences heartbreak, grief, depression, and a lot of things that are supposed to happen to people you don't know. Inspiration: A drawing i made of Fries that said "i didn't know heartbreak was real"

Astrobio Swap AU - Black Hole is the smart guy with the simp-worthy voice, and Tree is the awkward guy who has nightmares about turning the planet into a jungle. Inspiration: swap aus in general

MLP AU - Everyone is a pony. i love pegasus balloon Inspiration: MY LITTLE PONY MOVIE

Fully Human AU - i don't think there's a main character but they all have normal names and eye/hair colors and also half of them go to school Inspiration: @/tarochimochi probably. and also the list of human names i made

Teenage Rocky AU - IT'S NOT A PHASE, BALLOONY!! THIS IS WHO I AM!! Inspiration: My friend saying "Teenage Rocky be like: BLEH."

Fankids AU - Fries and Puffball, Donut and Barf Bag, and Fanny and Tree get married and have kids (Wafers, Moldy Poptart, and Poison Ivy). Their kids all get along and like to do dinosaur excavations (digging holes). Wafers usually instructs the others on what to do. Inspiration: fankids in general

Murder Battle AU - BFDI but instead of challenges, everyone kills each other. Recovery centers are a huge part of it, of course. The trend continues through all the seasons. Eliminations are probably a lot nicer, ironically. Inspiration: @/wizwadry probably. and also just the idea of woody with an axe

Jinsei no Meiyaku! AU - If Death PACT Again were stereotypical anime characters. They fight the bad people who like to death. They also fight the Shi no Meiyaku. Which ACTUALLY means Death Pact. Inspiration: Anime stereotypes

Candy AU - Tree eats too much candy, turns pink, and starts a candy zombie outbreak. Inspiration: "yOs. my head just feels yuckAy and weird? but! i dOD fOind a time reversal ray!"

Pokémon League AU - 64 contestants compete in a Pokémon tournament. Spoiler: Roboty probably wins (Profily, Grassy and Rocky don't compete) Inspiration: Pokemon anime

Woodblock Marriage AU - Woody and Blocky are married and have a son who was probably created in a lab by Tennis Ball. Blocky is the fun dad and Woody is the eternally sleep-deprived dad. Inspiration: Drawing them with their kid…his name is Chunk because he is too large to be a splinter and too small to be a slab

Get Digging AU - Fries wakes up in a room with a dirt floor. Bomby, who kidnapped him, tells him to get digging, because the key to get out is probably underground. "Probably" does not mean 100%. He has been digging for months. Inspiration: I just wanted to see Fries suffer

Execution AU - Two is a psychopath and elimination means an execution and forever death. One, instead of being a scary kidnapper, might just be trying to save the contestants. Inspiration: Danganronpa probably

Nickel Hanahaki AU - Nickel is in love with Bomby. Bomby is not in love with Nickel. Nickel is vomiting flowers. He has days to live. Inspiration: Hanahaki in general i think

Stereotyped AU - Fries is a fat slob, Basketball is a jock, and Lightning lives off energy drinks. You probably get it. Inspiration: A BFDI wiki post about Saw, and also thinking about character impressions

Starworld AU - Black Hole is a dead star. Black Hole probably lived with other stars in a galaxy. Hey how cool would it be if there was a star parallel to every BFDI contestant. Inspiration: My cool and awesome Starry design

Snownutfrytreeraser AU - Snowball, Donut, Fries, Tree and Eraser are all boyfriends that's literally it. Inspiration: i don't even remember man

Struggles of a Rotten Tennis Ball AU - Tennis Ball yaoi addiction arc, minus the religious guilt (because it's just guilt overall) Inspiration: Confessions of a Rotten Girl which i have not listened to and don't plan to

Dreamcatcher AU - Black Hole watches/controls dreams. One night Fries wakes up as Black Hole is stepping into his nightmare, which leads to Fries getting dragged along as Black Hole's sidekick guy. His favorite dreams to watch are Bomby's. Inspiration: "what if Fries was forced to team up with Black Hole that would be funny" also Princess Luna

BEEP PACT AU - Death PACT is made of a bunch of fellas who wanted to prove themselves, and BEEP is made of a bunch of people Liy decided to force her help on. Inspiration: swap aus in general probably

the bad puffries au - Fries and Puffball are sadist x masochist instead of sadist x sadist. Inspiration: the idea of normal Fries beating up an alternate version of himself was really funny

gutted like a fish. AU - Blocky likes Woody. Woody rejects him. Woody thinks it's a good idea to follow Blocky into a dark alleyway. Woody is dead now and still trying to figure out if Blocky had any real feelings. No despair or heartbreak, just a lot of confusion. Inspiration: A post about shady guys asking for girls' numbers

one week AU - Woody wakes up in a very scary hotel he doesn't recognize. While he tries to find an exit, he ends up having to fight the mangled reanimated corpses of his friends/teammates. Inspiration: A post related to the Israel and Palestine conflict that disturbed me a lot

Pirate Puffries AU - Fries is a pirate, living his pirate life. Unfortunately he meets a nefarious siren and ends up liking her. Inspiration: i don't remember man

Gone and still forgotten AU - Have you ever seen me doodle Woody and Clock on the edges of drawings? Inspiration: DEAD FOR OVER A YEAR GANG RISE UP

[grayskies2525]

Inevitable (male sneezing, contagion) | Part 4/4

Here's the conclusion to Evan's story! I'm glad to see so many people enjoying my gross fantasies!

Part one Part two Part three

Word count: 2,700

CW: mess, contagion

* * *

Evan walks to and from work every day. He doesn’t live far and everyone in this city walks most places. It’s that or take a bus, or the subway — neither of which are options for him in his current state even if he wants nothing more than to just sit down. He simply can’t endure any more potential opportunities for nose-related disasters.

No, what Evan needs is to walk home as quickly as he can while trying to mitigate — to the best of his ability —  the effects from the disaster that is his nose.

He’s doing a great job, if he does say so himself. Yes, he’s sneezing. Yes, he’s a snotty mess. But, he’s also equipped with an entire box of tissues that he stole from the store’s break room — considering his paychecks versus the amount of money the corporation takes in, Evan feels they owe him a box of tissues at the very least — and has captured each drip and sneeze deftly into the little white squares.

The sneezes are hard, fast, and relentless. As he walks, to distract himself, he begins a kind of game. If he were to title the game, Evan imagines it being something akin to “How many seconds can Evan go without a sneeze before he makes it home?”

So far, his record is twenty-eight seconds. He recognizes the absurdity of this. He doubts anyone else in any universe has ever sneezed this much in just half a day. He almost feels a sense of pride at the knowledge that he must be setting some kind of record, but then he also recognizes how absurd that is, so he brushes it away. 

“HEH eh’TshUUHHH!”

Another sneeze perfectly captured into a tissue. 

He smiles — literally smiles — at the accomplishment. This is what his life has become. He can not wait to finally get his degree so he can feel proud of something that holds a little more weight than “managed not to sneeze on everyone in sight.”

He mentally resets the timer in his head. As odd as the game is, it certainly does help pass the time. He only has a few more minutes until he reaches the sanctuary of his nice, warm bed.

Thirty-one, thirty-two, thirty-three….

Evan wonders if he can make it a whole minute. He doubts it. He already feels another budding tickle. But he’s going to try. 

“HEH!”

No, no, no! He WILL make it a minute without a sneeze. He doesn’t care how arbitrary of a goal it is. It’s still a goal — something he has alarmingly few of these days — and he’s going to meet it.

“HEH HHH HEHhhhHHHH!”

Forty-three, forty-four, forty-five….

“Heehh Ehhh Eh HHhhH!”

Forty-nine, fifty, fifty-one, fifty-two….

“Excuse me sir, I hate to bother you, but could you tell me where —”

“EDT’SHHuuuuHHHH!”

And just like that, the pretty stranger’s pale skin is covered in a plethora of droplets, glistening in the sunlight. 

“Uhb, I’b sor— heh— sorry,” Evan says, rubbing his nose with a tissue.

The stranger gives a tight smile before brushing off her face in a futile attempt to clear away the droplets. He’s sure all she does is smear them around. They’re undoubtedly laden with viruses, anyway, so he knows she’s doomed. Just like all the other people who have been unfortunate to come into contact with him today. Just like he, himself, was three days ago in that elevator.

“It’s um… It’s fine,” the stranger says.

“Uhb, you were aski’g about directiods? I bay be able to hehhh —”

The woman is walking so briskly, she’s practically running from Evan. “That’s okay! I remember where it is now. Thanks!” she calls out before somehow walking away even more quickly.

It’s a good thing she does because Evan snaps forward, hands on his thighs, and lets out what must be the most violent sneeze he’s had in his entire life.

“HEH-RRrrreeeEHHHSHuuuHHHHHH!”

It sounds more like a scream than a sneeze, though the resulting heavy spray, thick smell, and the strand of snot dangling precariously from his left nostril are all clear indicators that it was, indeed, a sneeze — a massive one. 

It’s like his body is desperately fighting with all it has in it to get this cold out of him. He’d be more than happy to let it, if it weren’t such a violent — and contagious — action. His head is throbbing and his throat is wrecked.  

He goes to wipe off the strand from his nose with a tissue, but he’s too late and he watches in resignation as the drop hits the concrete. 

At this point, people are giving him a wide berth. He tries not to pay attention to anyone’s expression, but he still can’t miss the scowls and noses scrunched up in disgust. It’s not like he can even blame them.

He hangs his head, clutches his tissue box tightly against himself, and tries to make himself take up the least amount of space possible. He needs to get home without causing any more scenes.

* * *

How could he forget his keys?

Evan’s been an adult for over a decade now, and he’s never done something as senseless as locking himself outside his apartment. He supposes having a cold from the deepest depths of Hell could be to blame for his forgetfulness.

He’s currently slumped against his apartment door, tissue box in his lap. There’s probably a better choice he can make besides this one, but he’s already here and moving his body any more sounds like the worst idea in the entire world. He feebly zips up jacket to ward off the chill, and even that small action wipes out the remaining energy he had.

His phone buzzes and he quickly unlocks it to read the message.

Marcus: 😂 Usually it's me forgetting the keys. i’m on a date w mia but we’re almost finished eating. she’s gotta go to work soon anyway. hang tight. be there in abt 20

Evan breathes out a sigh of relief, then begins typing.

Evan: THANK you. Could you also possibly pick up some cold meds on your way? If you have the money? I’ll pay you back Friday.

A minute or two goes by while Evan waits for the response. He closes his eyes and leans more heavily against the door. He opens his eyes halfway when he hears footsteps. The person is someone he doesn’t recognize — so probably just someone visiting someone on the floor. The stranger gives Evan a quick look before quickening their pace as they walk down the hall.

The phone’s buzz jerks Evan out of the doze he’d slipped into. He groggily takes his phone and glances down at it.

Marcus: stuff’s like ten dollars, man. i mean, if you really need it tho, i can charge it to my credit card.

Evan sighs. He gets it. Money’s incredibly tight for both of them. Between the two of them, they can just barely manage to make rent each month. 

Evan: Nvm. I’ll just tough it out.

After hitting “send” on the message, Evan allows his eyes to close, resting his head against the door frame.

* * *

“Evan?”

The way the man says his name, Evan suspects it’s not the first time he’s said it.

Evan groans before beginning the exhausting process of opening his eyes. 

“Ahh, so you are alive. I was beginning to wonder,” Marcus says with a smirk. 

Evan groans again.

“Are you drunk or something?” Marcus asks, his eyebrows shooting up.

Evan tries to glare. “Ndo,” he says indignantly, though he likely diminishes the effect with his subsequent thick snort. “Imb just sigck. A’d cold a’d tired. Just wadda lie dowd,” he says, weakly, before he starts coughing — the sounds heavy and wet. 

Marcus scans Evan up and down, likely taking in Evan’s slumped posture, his lap covered in an innumerable amount of used tissues, and however his face looks — something Evan doesn’t even want to think about.

Marcus sighs. “Leave it to you to nearly die from the common cold. Let’s get you inside, then.”

* * *

As much as Evan had wanted to crawl into bed, upon entering the apartment it was as if he’d lost all control of his legs. They’d immediately taken him to the couch where he’d instantly curled up on his side.

He lies on his back, now, clasping a tissue to his nose as he blows and blows. He’s read that you’re not actually supposed to blow your nose — that the pressure causes the germs to blow back into the sinus cavity, which can lead to sinus infections. But he has no doubt that without blowing, he’d literally choke to death on his own snot.

“EDT’shhUUH! ECK’SHUUH!” 

The sneezes are hard, sharp, and wet. He feels the moisture sliding down his chin despite the fact he’d had a tissue over his nose. He sighs, then wipes off the mess.

“Okay, Nurse Marcus is here with your first dose of medicine,” Marcus says as he comes toward Evan. He takes a seat on the coffee table across from Evan. Evan notices the small cup of liquid in his hand.

Evan’s brows knit. “But I thought you wered’t goi’ig to buy the medicide.” Evan has given up on being able to pronounce m’s and n’s any time soon. 

“In the three years we’ve been roommates, you’ve never asked me to buy you anything, so I figured it must be bad. So yeah, I went ahead and bought it. But, damn, I still wasn’t expecting this,” Marcus says, gesturing to Evan with his free hand. “I didn’t know it was possible for someone’s nose to be that red. I thought that was, like, a cartoon thing. But, no, here you are totally Rodolphing it. It’s almost impressive.”

“Yeah, I kdow, I mbust loogk like shit. Cad I please have the bedicide dow? I bead, thagck you for buyi’g it of course, a’d all that, but really, I thidk I deed it, like dow,” Evan says before  proceeding to cough horrendously.

Marcus grimaces, but hands the liquid over to Evan. Evan manages to swallow the substance before he sneezes into the air three times in a row.

“You kdow, it’s probably a good thi’g you bought this because dow we’ll have sombe for when you combe dowd with this,” Evan says.

Marcus snorts in amusement. “Don’t worry about that. I haven’t been sick in years. Just one of the many benefits of a healthy diet and regular exercise,” he says, looking so smug Evan wishes he could throw something at his face. 

Instead, Evan glares. “You are so addoyigck for that.”

Marcus leans in closer from his spot on the table. “I’m sorry. I’m so what? It’s hard to understand you because you’re so full of snot.”

Evan glares again, then snorts thickly. “Addoyi’g. You are HH EDTChUUUuuuhhh!”

If Evan hadn’t turned on his side to face Marcus, Marcus may have had a chance. But Evan did turn on his side, so Marcus’s face receives quite the generous amount of spray. 

“Sorry,” Evan mumbles. At this rate, he’s apologizing almost as much as he’s sneezing.

Marcus blinks, then wipes off his face with his arm. “It’s fine. Don’t worry. My immune system can handle it.”

Evan doesn’t think anyone’s immune system is equipped for this thing, but he sure hopes Marcus’s is. This feeling only increases as the evening goes on. 

Sometimes Evan forgets how nice Marcus can be. They’ve lived together for a few years now, and Evan definitely considers him a friend, but they’re both busy and despite being roommates, their paths don’t always often cross. But Marcus does nice little things for him throughout the rest of the day  — covering up his poor pathetic body with blankets, bringing him more medicine, and even cooking ramen for him (since it turns out they didn’t actually have any Campbells). He also makes sure Evan has a hefty supply of toilet paper roll — after he ran out of tissues —  and a wastebasket conveniently placed next to him.

Most importantly, he doesn’t complain when Evan launches sneeze after sneeze into the air. Marcus assured him any damage has already been done, and when Evan thinks back to the droplets coating his face from that full on sneeze he’d directed at him — well, Evan figures he’s probably right.

Evan spends the rest of the day nestled in blankets on the couch, dozing in and out of sleep, while Marcus plays movies on the TV and keeps him company. 

After the morning he had, he considers the evening to be perfect. Or, relatively perfect, at least. He’s sicker than he’s ever been, but he’s warm and comfortable. Or, mostly comfortable — his congestion, sneezing, and the painfully raw skin around the edges of his nostrils beg for his almost constant attention. But most importantly, he’s no longer drenching people in his germs. 

And Evan couldn’t really ask for more.

* * *

Marcus does come down with the cold, of course. Trevor, too. And seemingly everyone Evan knows. 

When Evan returns to work five days later — still sniffling and coughing, but mostly functioning — he gives a feeble attempt at defending himself. He mentions it could have been Courtney who got almost their entire team sick. She did, after all, go home sick the same day as Evan. But that argument quickly unravels when someone points out Courtney had a stomach bug. And everyone who’s called off has been hacking up their lungs and sneezing non-stop. 

So, Evan reluctantly admits that perhaps there’s a slight possibility he may be responsible for starting a minor cold outbreak in the store. 

To make an already embarrassing situation worse, his boss shows him an online survey that makes him blush. In the survey, a customer mentions how the store lets “unhygienic” employees interact with customers and relays how she “came down with the worst cold of her life” after a rude manager “purposefully sneezed all over her just because he didn’t want to do his job.”

After he leaves the store feeling stressed — having only three people to work the registers and the sales floor does not make for a good shift — he heads to school for his evening class.

* * *

As he stands in the elevator, his eyes widen when he sees who steps inside. 

It’s him.

The instructor who’s single-handedly responsible for the most humiliating day of Evan’s life.

The man gives Evan a quick, friendly smile before clear recognition settles over his face. Evan tries not to glare as he uses a tissue to quickly wipe at his nose. 

It’s awkward for a few seconds until the man speaks. “Listen, um…. Gosh, I don’t even know what to say,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck. “Just…. Did I get you sick? Be honest.”

Evan blows his nose — perhaps more dramatically than necessary — and this time does glare at the man. “Yeah. You got me sick,” he states, simply. “I’m just now getting over it.”

The man winces. “I am so sorry.”

There is so much genuine sympathy and regret etched into the man’s expression that Evan finds himself softening. “It’s fine. You couldn’t help it,” he finally says. 

The elevator dings and the two get off on the same floor, but they both stay stopped outside the doors. “Listen,” the instructor begins. “Was it, like, the most sick you’ve ever been? I’ve never had anything like that in my life.”

Evan gives a wry laugh. “Hands-down the sneeziest and snottiest I’ve ever been.”

“Right?” the man says, emphatically.  “Again, I am so sorry. I can’t apologize enough.”

Evan offers a small smile. “It’s okay, really. I don’t think anyone stands a chance at not getting that cold. It really wants to spread. I was doomed the moment I got on that elevator,” he says giving an exaggerated, forlorn look. 

The instructor smiles. “For sure. Thank you for being so understanding.”

The two exchange more pleasantries before they walk off to their respective classes.

The guy’s nice and Evan doesn’t have it in him to resent him any longer. 

After all, Evan knows now from personal experience that with a cold like that — sneezing all over everyone you come across is simply inevitable. 

[coolgrl111]

HELP SO i dont usually really send asks im sorry if this is awkward lmao i sorta just lurk in the challengers fandom usually 😔😔 but like if you could do some kind of either like blurb or general hcs with art x goth!reader i would love you forever 🫶🫶 i completely get it if you either cant or dont want to^^

- 🦇

okay sorry if this is literally soo bad or tacky but i tried 😭😭😭 i hope u like❤️❤️❤️

bf!art donaldson x goth!reader

- art literally has no idea how he ended up with you but he loves you endlessly. like he’ll just watch you do your thing, especially your makeup. whether that be your black lipstick or sharp thick eyeliner— he watches with so much focus like he’s studying for the most important exam of his life. “jesus baby, how do you get the edges so sharp?”

- he loves your rings. actually cannot stop playing with them. will grab your hand just to spin them around your fingers, fiddle with them. especially if you wear multiple at a time, he loves when you stack them. he once tried to steal one and got it stuck on his bigger fingers. had to google “how to remove a ring without amputation” in a panic. he didn’t try again after that….

- bro does not understand how you carry so much in your bag. “what do you even have in here?” and then you pull out a dark fantasy novel, a half-eaten granola bar, some more dark makeup and a vial of fake blood like it’s normal. he stops asking after that. he’s turned on, however.

- if you go to goth/emo parties, you obviously take him after he begs to accompany you. he walks in wearing his stanford hoodie and a backwards cap, visibly nervous. he just wants to fit in. he craves being accepted. he tries so hard to dance but looks like a malfunctioning sim. you love him for trying, and you make sure he feels comfortable and you introduce him to friends etc etc.

- he LOOVES how protective you get over him. if anyone so much as looks at him wrong, you immediately stepping in. “what the fuck are you looking at?” and he’s all giddy like that photo of zendaya when tom defended her from paparazzi BYEE😭😭

- also the same for you. if anyone’s giving you weird looks he is immediately all over that defending you like a knight. he knows you don’t need that, you’re not a damsel in distress but he can’t help his protective instincts.

- he’s secretly scared of horror movies but won’t admit it. will try to act all unfazed but will literally flinch at everything. and he gets defensive if you suggest to turn it off. “i wasn’t even scared, i just wasn’t expecting it. no don’t turn it off, babe, im not even scared.. it’s more fun to act scared anyway…” yeah ok sure.

- he tries to match your vibe… TRIES!!! once he tried by wearing all black but literally just looks like he’s going to a funeral. like all he had was a button up shirt. in fact he definitely had worn it to a funeral. but you tell him he looks great though because you love him.

- late at night when it’s just you two, he gets all soft and tells you he loves how you don’t care what people think. that he wishes he was like that. you pretend to roll your eyes but secretly you’re blushing so hard. he’s the light of your life. and although you two are an unlikely pair, you’d change nothing about each other and love each other unconditionally <3

[starpoweredv1b]

Another girlfriend would gently suggest that maybe it is time for Sylus's darling kitten to move out. The attachments they have to each other aren't healthy, and they make /her/ uncomfortable. How dare she even think that she has enough of a say in his life to even suggest such a thing? Trying to make him cast out his precious kitten when she needs him to keep her safe and happy? That relationship didn't even get to upset his darling because he dropped her like a box of rocks.

How could he tell his kitten no when she came to him for reassurance? How could he tell her no when all she needed was to rub her pretty little cunt against him to make her feel better? How could he tell her no when she crawled into his bed in the middle of the night with her lacey little shorts and no shirt demanding to be held? He couldn't. He would be a bad father if he did. Sylus was a lot of things, but a bad father would never be one of them.

There they are, all snuggled up while he reads. She is 'stealing' sips of his cherry wine and listening to the pages flip. She had made up her mind and slid from his lap to kneel between his knees. She had never been brave enough to do it before, but now she was determined to show him that she could be his one and only girl. No more of these nobodies trying to take what is hers. She'd gently remove him from his boxers, and Sylus swears he could have busted on her face right then and there as her soft pink tongue glided up his shaft and rubbed at that little magic spot behind the head. He didn't. He is a good dad and wants her to explore in a 'safe' environment. It doesn't take long, though, as she starts to get a rhythm, he is so big and she is so small though that she can't even take half of his cock in her mouth before gagging, but the view with pink streaked saliva and her innocent eyes looking up at him for approval has him hanging in by a threat as he groans and praised her for how good she is doing hand ontop of her head as he pets her like the good kitten she is.

-🐱

🐱 anon you are feeding me like thank you so much??? i am always sat for these. also i feel like his kitten is either clumsy or bratty no in between so she'll do this thing where her teeth would lightly press against that sensitive spot or graze it when she's sucking him off and he'd see stars. head thrown back and teeth gritted as he hisses. she'll like it because first of all her dad looks so insanely hot doing all of that and second because his fingers would tighten in her hair all sweetly. he might even start to be a tad rougher or meaner (subconsciously of course, he'd never hurt her). he'd start pushing her face down for longer and chide her for being too naughty. but in all honesty, dad!sylus is definitely cumming harder when his kitten bites down lightly around his cock head, throbbing and spurting onto her tongue as his hips shudder a little.

bonus points if she swallows clean. he'll stroke her hair and stroke away the drool with his thumbs with literally the most affection filled eyes as he tells her what a good job her dick sucking was 🤤

[sugarcubeindulgent]

Ughhh I am so tired of people making epilogue bill super skinny he literally has a little double chin and potbelly guys he's chubby please let him be chubby and it's so hot lordddd the way I need to slobber all over him and have him fuck me every direction 🙏🙏 I KNOWWWW that tummy would rub against your clit just right guys trust.

christ, anon, you're in my brain. the only one i view as "thin" is epilogue jerry, like legit it makes me so upset when people portray any of the others as thin or skinny <\3 they are grown men not twinkatrons who have v-lines and sharp jawlines 😔 but to each their own (i say half-heartedly)

[schizononagesimus]

ya know, i feel real bad for gideon for thinking her girlfriend was breaking up w her but like babe. you jumped on a fucking fence. i dont care if you "meant it romantically", was she supposed to like that????

[phoenixcatch7]

Okay but it's super interesting how

Din = Power = Ganondorf

Naryu = Wisdom = Zelda

Farore = Courage = Link.

Because Din, in the hylian creation myth, created the physical world. Naryu then created the laws - gravity, time, etc. And Farore finally created life - plants and people.

Din created the body, naryu the mind, Farore the soul.

And the triforce and its wielders so perfectly reflect that.

Ganon is physical power, he is big and intimidating and he breaks things. He is cunning and determined, but that's not what he focuses on. He is might makes right.

Zelda is wisdom and cleverness. She is stall tactics and information and team work. She is a powerful mage with a spine of steel, but that's not how she'll win. She is the pen being mightier than the sword.

Link is courage and persistence. He is the wild card sneaking behind enemy ranks, always moving, plunging into terrifying situations head first. He's a phenomenal fighter with a keen wit, but that's not what will get him through his challenges. He is bravery not being the absence of fear but the triumph over it.

They sit in perfect parallels to each other.

And ganon is reborn through his body - his resurrection is immortality. No matter how low he is cast, as long as he has a body he can claw his way back. He can cling to his power, build it ever higher.

Zelda is reborn through the magic of her bloodline. It's the accumulated knowledge handed down for generations, the unique power she must master, the skills she must develop to survive and get her kingdom out the other side intact. Even her name, the knowledge of herself, is handed down from all the way from the very first. Her ancestors knowledge of her future presence, her stability, is what gives her the edge.

Link is reborn in spirit. He is not bound by flesh or blood. Just like his wanderlust soul he can reappear in any time or place. His variation, his unpredictability, is exactly how he fights. It's what makes him so hard to pin down.

Ganons need to build strength means he can't chase after link. Links impulsiveness means zelda can outwit him. Zeldas stationary predictability means she's an easy target for ganon.

But the other direction?

Fire melts ice, ice redirects lightning, lightning burns fire.

And that's the very essence of the triforce.

[icewindandboringhorror]

Pages from trying to keep a little sketchbook-scrapbook type thing going for two weeks lol. I gave myself specific rules in hopes they might all end up more cohesive/consistent seeming, but alas, scribbly chaos reigns, it seems

[dmitriyuriev]

*Implied noncon, small Miquella. Link leads to full image.

Miquella's charm compels love, not controls actions, so what were to happen if the one charmed has a twisted view of love? Only Mohg acts that possessive, so no, he did not beat the allegations, and I for one, am happy about that.

[lloydfrontera]

tfw when you write an entire novel with two protagonists that spent the entire plot getting closer to each other, becoming best friends and eventually both of them deciding they would rather die than allow the other to not live a long, fulfilling life, their friendship carrying most of the emotional weight of the entire plot and the emotional climax being one of them sacrificing his life so the other can live and then the other crossing literal universes to find him, a tearful smile in his face as he confesses how much he missed him. which is the scene you wanted to write and show the most because, again, this is the pay off to the slowburn you've been writing in the entire novel and what everything has been building up to since the very first chapter. and then you end the novel by having them share a smile, finally confident they'll be able to have a happy future.

but you also just gotta have one of them marry offscreen because everyone knows you can't be happy if you're not in a het marriage with kids lmao it's whatever it's okay i'm fiNE-

[sovonight]

why is so much of sewing just tracing and cutting and tracing again q_q i see why people get projectors and use adobe illustrator now

[bumblingbabooshka]

The amount of copium T'Pring is ingesting in this scene is unprecedented and deeply sad especially paired with Spock immediately going "Yeah of course, you know me so well babe." Someone SAVE her. You HAVE to understand. He made out with Chapel IN FRONT OF HER and her response is to immediately rationalize both that action and the clear 'passion' she saw in it - then to have sex with him. HELP HER!!!!

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

do you think leonardo or comte is older? i can’t remember it being specified but i’m not sure. i mean we have leonardo’s age but how old is comte??? i haven’t played comte’s route so idk if cybird mentioned it or made one up but his real historical birthday/place was pretty much unknown i think??? thoughts?

I always thought Comte was the older of the two? But to be honest I was never sure if that was just my bias talking or it was actually the case. So naturally, because I am So Normal, I did a little digging through all the stories I've read up to this point to see if there were any concrete indicators. The most promising lead I was able to find was from the "Tell Me Your Story" collection event.

Meta under the cut, since I was left unsupervised and it got long:

The contents that are most pertinent to what I have to say are as follows:

In this story, Comte speaks a little bit about his childhood because MC found him playing the violin. He talks about how he originally trained as a young boy on an instrument called "a rebec." Mind you, Comte says that he still has the first one he ever bought--he remembers because he acquired it the day he was told he would stop aging forever. In due course he takes it out to show her--and later plays for her, at her request.

Now, looking at all the facts. The violin was said to be introduced between 1540 and 1560, roughly speaking (I'm not a historian, this is all based on rudimentary research). This doesn't tell us too much though, as Comte does say the instrument he trained on and first purchased was much older. Many sources show the rebec dating back as early as the 10th century (meaning anywhere from 900-1000) in Spanish courts, a supposed mashup of the Arabic rebab and the Eastern European lira. The clearest written records (the few that exist) begin from the early 12th century and on, though it was at the height of its popularity towards the 15th/16th century.

Aside from the fact that that's fuckin crazy, that would place Comte as being born anywhere from 900-1100 (1200-1500 at the very latest). Now I know what you may be thinking. How the hell does that narrow anything down, Minnie?

Given the cultural implications surrounding the rebec's emergence, the context actually does allow certain tentative conclusions to be drawn. I've seen indications that musical talent with a rebec was considered a big deal as an indicator of wealth/higher status in the earlier years of that time frame. Taking Comte's childhood into account--that he was raised to effuse aristocratic breeding and poise--I think that makes it highly unlikely he was learning when it was most associated with street performers (during the latter portion of my posited time frame). Everything about Comte's family pretty much screams old money (aka wealth they were born into, not curated during the rise of the mercantile class trying to be posers), so I really can't see them raising their son to play commoner music.

Another very telling bit lies in the phrasing of how he found the instrument: "he discovered the old rebec among other goods from a foreign trader." Remember that in the latter end of the time frame, it was so commonplace it could probably be found among local vendors/craftsmen--there would be no need for them to be imported from foreigners. I imagine his family only had access to the instruments in accordance with their social standing; naturally the rich would have their connections, but not just anybody would have the money or means to get their hands on one.

If my beginner's dive isn't too far off the mark, that would make Comte anywhere between approximately 400-1000 years old. I get this hunch that he's probably somewhere in the middle, I just don't know where exactly. I wish I had a better estimation since that's a pretty huge range, but considering the lifespan of the rebec it's hard to tell.

The only great anachronism in all this is the existence of Comte's pocket watch which was gifted to him by his tutor (I believe that's what she was, I know it was one of the human people in his house when he was young). The first pocket watch is said to have been created in Germany in 1510 (and shortly after distributed in Italy), but honestly it feels a bit out of place compared to all of the other evidence available to us. If that's the case, then Comte could have been born in the 1490s (since he received it when he was like 12, somewhere around there). Honestly I do feel the game suggests that he's older than that, so there's some dissonance there. But I leave that up to personal interpretation, since I'm not 100% sure about it either.

Lowkey, I feel like they might have gone so hard with the timepiece imagery for Comte that they forgot the historical practicalities attached to them, so that's half the reason I don't know what to do with this information. I get that vibe of like something something rich people cop out, unless purebloods have weirdly long childhoods--

Leonardo I don't have as many receipts because I'm just a poor Comte stan trying to live (his collection stories are pain), but if we go by the indication that his in-game life loosely follows the historical figure and simply continues on with his faked death, that means he was likely born somewhere around 1452. I can't remember super clearly, but for whatever reason my only memory of age indicators for Leonardo was around 400 or so (which tracks with that interpretation). That would actually make him potentially younger than Comte, younger than I initially anticipated. Or, if Comte was born on the latter end of my estimations, they are at the very least close in age.

Also please don't hesitate to let me know if I'm missing any receipts on Leonardo, I have only one brain cell and she is trying so hard, my friends

As to the place of Comte's birth I haven't the slightest clue about that. It's pretty obvious he's of European ancestry, but as to where he was born/raised exactly, it's difficult to tell. Given all the talk of the rebec there's a decent likelihood he originates from the Mediterranean area/Southern Europe, as it is an Arabic instrument by origin that was adapted into something new by Spain. (This could mean he was born anywhere between France, Spain, Italy, or even the countries a little further up or closer to the Middle East.)

I considered Northern Europe/England, but honestly the evidence doesn't really seem to lean in that direction. Comte mentioned that he once lived in England and made friends there, but the way he talks about makes it sound like he was a visitor/traveler, not a native. And frankly, Comte isn't insufferable enough to be English lmao, he has a conscience. There is actually some tentative evidence for Irish descent, as the vampy mind persuasion/compulsion is termed "geas" in the game, which is a word that stems from Irish gaelic/folklore. The only reason I don't think there's a real connection is that there's no further evidence tying Comte to Ireland; and I don't think the etymology necessarily guarantees ancestry (though there is something to be said about the Irish gothic and vampiric origins).

Admittedly it feels like the game makes his nationality vague on purpose, and I think this has a two-part intention. The first is that historically he was shrouded in a great deal of mystery, so it only makes sense they would be reluctant to name a singular place. The second is that--and I don't remember where the screenshot is, I saw it a while ago--the game describes him as belonging to no one place (that he belonged to all and none). Keeping his character construction in mind, I feel like this aligns with his general theme of contradiction. He's a greater vampire who prefers to keep company among humans, he's a powerful being with a fragile/sensitive heart, he has strong convictions but hesitates constantly, he's able to blend in almost everywhere he goes but never truly feels like he belongs. It would only make sense, narratively speaking, to keep with that motif/trend.

Also quick aside, because I can't help the music nerd in me. Rebecs are bitchin?????? Holy shit slay. Fun fact: they appear to have been primarily used for festivities, played for dancing. That gives a whole new impression to the fact that he bought one the moment he found out he would never age any further. I guess I just think about how that's a pretty joyous purpose for the music (beyond the pedigree aspect). That he clung to this specific artifact as a way to remind himself of his connection to humanity, that it was about people gathering and enjoying each other's company (and yet at the same time, all the political games that come with such leisure)...what a reflection of who he is today. I think it's fascinating how much people are at the heart of his personal motivations and feelings, considering how easy it is for purebloods to become lone wolves (power and secrecy would lend itself to that.) Instead, Comte chooses to hide in plain sight and actively works to stay engaged in the times and among the population. Then again, if I were hundreds of years old I would probably also beg for a distraction from the encroaching madness so like ajkhslgfkjhfslakjh it's very sweet but also mood...

In short:

Thank you for the ask, lovely!! 💛💛💛💛 I hope this answers your question? I love any excuse to talk about my one and only 👀💍