#ONLY PARTIALLY MAD CAUSE LIKE. I KNOW WHY. AND IT SUCKS.

[squuote]

whyy is it literally so hard to find any posts about hazel without the influence of dev.... cmon she's literally the main character why is there so little fan stuff that's focused on her

[brucewaynehater101]

Hiii!!!! Continuation on that Necromancer Tim au, what if in order to revive Jason, a life had to be exchanged for it? And this is gonna tie into that one undying joker au, but what if Tim decided to use joker for the ritual? He kills joker for Jason, which brings Jason back to life, but due to joker being undying his soul wasn't properly exchanged which is why despite the fact that Jason was revived, he was catatonic until he was dipped in the Evil Mountain Dew.

As for why Tim revived him, I feel like it would be partially revenge because Batman doesn't kill, but that doesn't mean Tim can't. He isn't Robin yet, so he cares less about killing. It could also be because Jason was taken too early. I heavily headcanon that Tim's favourite Robin was Jason (no hate on Dick's Robin, but Tim was a fan of the flying Graysons and Dick himself.) Maybe he got attached. Maybe it's some other reasons. But mainly, maybe he killed Joker for the ritual because maybe then Joker can actually be good for something for once in his life.

Bruce, of course, doesn't find out because undying Joker was revived again and just went back to business as usual. Your choice if Joker Junior still happens in this au, but if it does, It would be as some sort of twisted revenge from Joker, I guess? You loved Jason enough to try and kill me, so now you'll become like me, or smth like that. Additional angst if Jason finds out about that.

Moreover, this could be seen as Tim taking the burden of killing from Bruce (cuz he doesn't know about the whole undying thing yet), because (if I remember correctly, please correct me if I'm wrong) Jason was seriously against killing too back when he was still alive, and even tried to stop Bruce from killing someone. So, in order to keep Jason's perception of Bruce once he's back and alive positive, Tim takes on the burden on killing so that Jason will only be mad at him, not Bruce.

Hello again!! 👋

Alright! Let's tie those two AUs together (Tim revives Jason via magic with a price, and Joker is undying combined with JJ)! It sounds like fun ^^

Let's do a timeline

10 year old Tim Drake gets captured by Joker

Jason goes with Dick to hang with the Titans

Bruce finds Tim with the Joker. Tim kills Joker. They assume he's forever dead.

Bruce brings Tim back to the cave only for the kid to sneak out. Bruce never finds out his identity nor tells Jason/Dick about JJ

Joker comes back to life. Bruce and Tim assume that they just didn't check his pulse well enough (Batman left the body there for GCPD to deal with the traumatized child)

Tim spends the next two or so years reading mental health books to heal himself. Maybe he gets an anonymous therapist or something

Jason dies

Tim blames himself for not ensuring Joker was dead. He figures he might as well guarantee it sticks. What better way than to bargain his soul for Jason's?

The ritual goes wrong cause immortal Joker sucks

Tim is convinced Jason didn't revive at all and leaves the graveyard.

Jason catonically boogies his way into LoA's grasp

Tim becomes Robin cause what else is he supposed to do with Sir Beats-a-Lot?

Tim keeps on killing as Robin behind Bruce's back very very occasionally so as to not get caught. He figures he tried to kill Joker twice and killed Jason (by fucking up the ritual). With his thirteen year old logic, that means he's a killer forever. Might as well lean into it.

I love the other bits you've added about what Tim's mindset was like during these times. I'd so like to see what both Jason and Tim are thinking/feeling as they learn what the other went through

[linos-luna]

Bunny-boy ❣️🔪

Yandere!Jungkook x gn!Reader

(Quick fic)

Warnings: yandere, 18+, some smut, oral (male receiving), slapping, somnophilia implications

————————————————————————

 Anyone looking at your boyfriend would assume that he is just a sweet boy. A sweet bunny boy that loves and spoils you. While that may be partially true, he was also pretty scary. Why else would you be hiding in the closet right now, praying that he doesn’t find you? 

You were sitting there silently, trying to control your breathing as you heard your boyfriend calling out to you. Your eyes were puffy from crying and cheeks flushed. He had gotten mad at you for something stupid again or maybe you were the stupid one. At this point you weren’t sure.

“Y/n! Where are you?!” Jungkook called out. “Baby?! Come out please!”

You were silent as you heard him pass the closet when suddenly he swung the door open, causing you to yelp.

“You know, hiding in the closet is way too predictable.” He said shaking his head.

You backed up but this hallway closet was very small so it didn’t really matter and your boyfriend dragged you out by your leg.

“Silly silly baby.” He said laughing, now getting you on your feet.

Jungkook was scaring you right now. He had a smile on his face and voice overly cheery but you knew he was pissed.

“Kookie-”

“Shut up!” He shouted, his happy expression changing in an instant. He then started pushing you to the bedroom.

Once there he sat you on the bed and looked at you, crossing his arms. It was awkwardly silent and you weren’t sure if he wanted you to say something.

“Kookie, I didn’t flirt with-”

“DONT lie to me!” He yelled suddenly, getting really close and shaking his finger in your face.

“But kookie-”

He didn’t want to hear it and slapped you.

You started crying and he only mocked you.

“Aw, you gonna start crying now?” He said sarcastically. “What a big baby!”

You shook your head and wiped your tears with your sleeve. You didn’t know what to do at this point and simply looked down.

“Hey hello?” He said snapping his fingers in your face. “You know what to do now, yes?”

“N-no I don’t want to…” you shook your head.

“Well that’s too bad.” Jungkook said nonchalantly while roughly pushing you to your knees. “Personally, I think it’s best you take this punishment instead of the others I have in mind.”

You thought about it and sighed, knowing he is right. You started unzipping his pants and lowering them, followed by his boxers.

You pulled out his cock and sucked lightly on the tip as you knew he liked before taking his cock fully.

Jungkook groaned as he took hold of your hair, lightly thrusting. He lightly thrusted his hips and closed his eyes in pleasure. It wasn’t long before he hit high and watched to make sure you swallowed all of his cum.

“It wasn’t that bad now right?” He said in a teasing tone. “Now go to bed, you’re done for today.”

“But it’s barely even 8-”

“I said bed!” He yelled back, causing you to quickly crawl into bed.

“I don’t want to hear a sound from you…” he said, now leaving the room and locking the door.

You went back to crying, staying quiet as possible. You knew he’d come in later when you slept. He’s a somnophiliac and although it often times wakes you up, you better be sure to pretend you’re still sleeping otherwise he’d get angrier. That’s the last thing you want…

[system-of-a-feather]

Man, this will go a bit into syscourse probably, but I was just watching Monkey Man and it really had me thinking (and internally groaning) about how gender "weirdness" is really something that is not weird at all in a lot of non-white non-european cultures. Shiva in Hinduism is a great example.

It's just when you get weird white people who come in and say "well you see, my understanding of gender is actually correct and the right way to think and talk about gender and I am inherently the most correct and right and smartest way of talking about gender and everyone else is just a cultural / spiritual game and should stay within their culture because its wrong but we 'respect' it and let it be wrong"

And it really got me internally ranting about how honestly - and I was trying to be a bit subtle about this cause I know it'd probably get back lash - but as a person of color from a culture and spirituality / philosophy that has plurality and variants of it normalized - the fact that people claim that the only way a person could experience themselves as more than one being due to trauma really really upsets me, because its a very white / western / european way of thinking about the concept of self, identity, personhood, and the soul.

In some cultures, people are understood as inherently many or inherently parts of a whole. It is just something that is just a part of the culture - may that be subtly and in a non-spoken manner, or in a more direct manner in the way that animism and buddhism talks about it. People can and do experience themselves as more than one and have been doing so since long before people were really aware of what psychology even was.

The fact that people talk about how individuals experience themselves inherently in a white, western, euro-centric cultural perspective that writes off "not identifying as one singular person" as something that HAS to come from trauma just really.... kinda pisses me off.

And if the argument is "well they shouldn't be called a system cause its a totally different thing than what people with DID / OSDD have" like... really, why are we getting so hot and bothered over the fucking word "system" and two... I can't delineate where my DID and my cultural plural-adjacent experiences begin and end. And also three, if we are getting so protective over the word "system" then why aren't we getting mad at the guy who developed IFS too??

It's also just so frustrating that people look at people who identify as more than one and inherently go "oh they are only doing this because they looked at my disorder and said they wanted it" when??? no??? Sure there are some I'm sure, but again, this is something people have been experiencing for centuries - hell more than a millenia.

As someone with DID / OSDD, I get the need for protecting the medical label and the diagnosis and all that because yes, while the psych system sucks, the medical labels are medical to get help, aid, and all sorts of stuff - absolutely.

But going around stating that anyone that experiences themselves as more than one is inherently either traumatized or maliciously lying and trying to actively co-opt a disorder is just.... ugh. Not it.

Please consider that there are other cultures and perspectives to identity, self, and spirit that impact how one identifies and engages with their own existence before you start sounding like a colonizer.

-----

Anti-endos are welcome to respectfully discuss and engage.

Arguments and debates are not welcome and will be blocked.

This is partially me venting about white / western people. Do with this as you will.

[wroef]

Theory on how Barbara died and Rick's disappearance. Based partially on/inspired by this post:

https://www.tumblr.com/dilfgmancoolatta/696764411466121216/thinking-abt-what-if-barbara-wasnt-violently?source=share

Okay.

So I saw this post and it sparked this theory of mine.

You see, I never really bought that Rick was responsible for Barbara's death given the fact he was on crutches at the time.

Not to mention the comic is not very reliable (since Edith signed off on it and might not have really liked Rick much, in my opinion).

So.. here's the theory:

They didn't have cellphones back then and Rick probably didn't walk to Barb's. His parents either drove him there or Barb did.

So if she kicked him out and didn't let him call home, he probably decided to suck it up (cause toxic masculinity) and walk home.

Only...

Barbara lives near the ocean. On uneven land. Surrounded by forest. And wild animals.

And it was night.

Rick probably got lost.

And it was Halloween.

It was probably cold.

So either he succumbed to the elements or got attacked by an animal.

Or maybe he went to seek shelter in a cave or went to chill by the ocean. Waiting for his parents to pick him up (if they had drove him) or for Barbara to cool off. Only to fall asleep and get pulled in by the tide.

Hence him disappearing that night.

(My friend pointed out that his crutch was found by the water).

I hear you say... How did Barbara die?

Well. They focus on the skates.

So I'm thinking one of the boys (Walter or the twins or all three) were playing with Barbara's skates before she got home and since the place was cluttered, she probably didn't see them and slipped. Tripping over the railing. Breaking it and falling to her death.

And of course, Walter would be messed up whether he was playing with the skates or not (suggested in the link) because he just saw his older sister die.

And well.

Edie might have blamed Rick for Barbara's death if he disappeared or just for not stopping it since he was there earlier.

Also Walter would be even more messed up because of how strongly his mom believed in the curse after the death of his uncle and grandparents and both his sisters.

And as more deaths started to happen, it'd probably cause a lot of stress. Especially with nobody getting help for him.

I don't know how much of this disjointed mess makes sense but I hope it does make a little sense.

Ooh, this is interesting!

I've never been of the opinion that Rick killed Barbara either, for starters. My guess was the serial killer or maybe some crazed fan(s?) mad that she wasn't able to make her appearance at the convention. I'll need more time to sit on this new theory but I do think it's worth considering

I do wonder though, if we assume that was true, why does he blame the monster for Calvin's death? He arguably has the most cut and dry of Walter's siblings (that he's aware of anyway, him not mentioning Sam makes me think he might not know he died which is :(( but anyway), and while I guess it could be the guilt mentioned I have to imagine that at the very least Sam would try to clear that up? Maybe he did and Walter just didn't believe him, though. It's hard to say. That's something that's bothered me long before I got this ask tbf

As far as the Rick part, yeah him drowning somewhere does make sense. Now that you mention it I wouldn't be surprised if he tripped around that river and cracked his head there.

(Happy birth/deathday queen. RIP Barbara)

-Mod Edith

[i-am-minty-fresh]

Why I love the One Piece Live Action as someone who was incredibly skeptical

!Spoilers for the Live Action (kinda, use your discretion)!

Reason 1:

The Casting.

I do not need to get that into this because if you like One Piece at all you’ve definitely seen how much work the cast has put into being the most authentic version of these characters (I’m partial to Iñaki Godoy’s (Luffy) infectious goofiness and Taz Skylar’s (Sanji) martial artistry, but thats just cause I follow them both on instagram and I’m in love). The cast absolutely loves what they are making and you can tell so let's just blow them all a kiss and move on.

Reason 2:

The Design Choices.

I love all the choices but I’m gonna highlight one for the sake of time. Buggy. The man, the myth, the clown that terrorized tumblr for a bit, let's talk about the moron shall we. In the anime and manga Buggy is a clown. Nothing more. He’s introduced as scary but very quickly he becomes just a menace. In the live action though, oh he’s scary. Yeah it’s scary to see a mostly shadowed face with an eerie smile like in the anime or manga, but the live action makes me feel unnerved. He’s got mannerisms like Jack Nicholson's joker mixed with Pennywise’s body contortionists to create a character that makes me not just scared but unnerved. 

Reason 3:

Luffy.

This part was arguably what I was the most nervous about and what made me the happiest about overall. I was really scared about the graphics surrounding Luffy’s Gum Gum fruit, because I was thinking that they have to make him stretch and contort so often without it looking weird. While watching though I realized something that made me so happy. It does look weird. It’s looks really weird and can be hard to look at but that’s the fucking point. We all got so used to Luffy’s fruit we forgot about how gnarly it looks without animation. When characters react to his fruit we see them looking grossed out or scared, that's because his fruit is gross and scary to normal people. When he bends seemingly without a spine, when bullets bounce out of him, when he drags his head back to hit you with that Gum Gum Bell to those characters they’ve been seeing what we now have to look at. It makes you uncomfortable because a person shouldn’t be able to bend like that and that’s why everyone who sees it in the manga or anime looks like they're gonna puke or scream. You know what always fixes that feeling though? Luffy’s personality. His childishness, his creativity, his utter stupidity. He laughs it off and Iñaki Godoy does a perfect job emulating this! 

Final Thoughts.

There are some things that the Live Action doesn’t have. There are some things that it adds that some people won’t like. (The den den mushi’s are terrifying and I hate looking at them). As someone who loves this show with all their heart I get the instinct to point out differences and flaws and just get as mad as possible over little details but…I refuse to do so. I love complaining and if this adaptation truly sucked this would be a much longer and much angrier post but it just doesn’t suck. The only expectation I had was this adaptation needed to at least remind me why I absolutely fell in love with the stupid fucking pirate anime and instead it had me falling in love all over again. I suggest you watch it if you like One Piece, if for nothing else watch it because of how proud Oda is of it. He knows us better than anyone else, and he knows we’ll love it, so just trust him. He’s never let us down before.

[inactivewattpadauthor]

Mileena x Earthrealmer Reader

It hasn't been long since you been individually stationed in Outworld, and you've already been detected by someone or something.

Yes, it's partially your fault for being a lousy Special Forces soldier/spy, but you've been through a lot to even give a damn. It's not like you can't take care of yourself, but if you get captured by the enemy and killed, then that's just what happens.

You returned to your small camp in an oasis outside from Outworld civilization in hopes of nothing following you.

While you were sharpening your knife, you heard rustling leaves behind you that didn't follow up with the wind blowing through the area. You let out a sigh of annoyance, realizing you weren't alone.

"Come on out. I can hear you!" You called out without looking up from your knife.

"Filthy Earthrealmer! What are you doing in Outworld's lands?" A feral feminine voice hissed out from the bushes surrounding the camp.

'That sounds like...'

Recognizing the familiar voice you peered up to see the well-known, unnaturally created kombatant with such a personality...

Mileena.

It's much easier to identify her by her choice of color for her clothing, but you were just most likely a bit surprised to see her rather than anyone else who could've stalked you.

"Wow, I could have never seen this day coming. Did you follow me here?" You fully faced her, suppressing any type of hyped emotion you had.

"Don't ignore my question, you imbecile!" She said a bit more agitated, along with pulling out her sais, taking a step towards you.

"Apologies. I'm just... camping, ma'am." You quickly came up with.

"A pathetic lie won't work on me, Earthrealmer! You're lucky I'm not that hungry to feast on your flesh!"

"Well, are you still gonna kill me and maybe put my body in a refrigerator? If Outworld even has those." You asked, readying your knife in case she pounces.

"Gah! You should be trembling before me! Not asking such ridiculous questions!"

Your lack of fear for Mileena was making her mad, but truthfully, it's not just because you're not that frightened, but you read her file back at base. It would be a lie if you say you don't find her fascinating.

On a quick note, Mileena pulled down her mask to reveal one of her infamous features of herself; her monstrous teeth.  Sincerely a well-known factor or a Tarkatan.

"Scared now, human?" She chuckled in her usual seductive way.

Not to her liking, you didn't react to it. What made you unsteady was her piercing gaze of growing impatience.

"Look, it's not that I'm scared of you," you started off, realizing how offensive the beginning would sound to her,"BUT, I just personally find you thrilling in a... cool way." You rubbed the back of your neck.

Mileena was rather confused about your words. "Is this your way of trying to escape your fate? With false flattery?"

"I'm not lying. As much as it sucks that you eat my kind and I'm mostly next, I find you bad ass. It's not every day a feminine feral figure like you exists."

You weren't attentive towards how your words were subtly calming the former empress.

"Also, from what I heard, you're not really a monster. You lost someone you loved. Not trying to be touchy or reopen that wound before I die, but "

You frown at a feeling that took you a while to shove down.

"I know what that's like."

After a few quiet seconds, your heart sank from the seem to be awkward moment you caused.

'God, let her kill me already.'

"Stupid human, just go back where you came from." Mileena muttered, putting her mask back over her mouth before quickly disappearing back into the bushes.

You only stood there, still cringing from the awkwardness you caused. Is this how you escape the flesh eating empress?

---Time skip to evening, brought to you by me praying for Nightwolf and Fujin to be added in mk1---

It was about late evening, and you sat near your campfire, still processing what happened previously during the day.

'Did she feel bad for me? I don't get why she just left just like that.'

'Or maybe, again, she felt awkward too, and I killed her mood to kill me.'

"Ahem."

Your attention was immediately grabbed by whomever. You looked in their direction only to see it was Mileena again, staring down at you from the other side of the campfire.

"Oh, hi. Are you finally hungry?" You slipped a small smile.

"If I was, you'd be dead because of your lack of awareness just then." She sharply said. Her tone wasn't that aggressive like the first encounter.

"Right... So what is it you want from me then?"

"Why are you here?"

"All I can tell you is I'm Special Forces. The rest is classified information."

"I'll kill you if you don't tell me."

"Well, the general will kill me if I tell you. And I would rather die with honor." You huffed before staring at the bonfire.

There was silence again, but it wasn't like earlier.

Mileena walked around the fire and next to you.

Any weary person would move from her, concerned if she was gonna attack, but you didn't. Perhaps you were waiting for her to do it?

She didn't attack. She just sat down beside you as if a lonely person found their fellow lonely friend somewhere unfamiliar.

The moment would be described as... comforting?

"Why are you actually here?" You asked.

"Did you really mean those words from earlier about me?"

She looked right at you. Her eyes seem to have some sort of desperation in them. But you looked past that for the moment.

"I did. I'm sorry about that, though. I didn't mean to spill out like that. I wasn't trying to ruin your mood to kill me or whatever." You looked down in shame.

"If you're speaking the truth, don't be. I never met a soul that shares the same pain as I do."

"I see. I work with plenty of people who also lost loved ones. However, I still just feel alone about it no matter what. It's a terrible wound that permanently stings."

"You're a very unique human. What is your name?" Mileena asked. Elder Gods, how you didn't see this coming.

"I'm Y/n. And if you don't mind, I'm supposed to be here for a while." You smiled again at her.

"I don't mind, but the second you turn on me, I'll flay and wear you like cattle." Mileena warned.

"I'm not planning on it, don't worry." You laughed a bit.

You looked to your side at a duffel bag and reached for the candy bar you saved. You wouldn't be surprised if it was melted.

"Does Outworld happen to know about chocolate?" You asked while opening your snack.

"Does Outworld have chocolate?! Of course we do! What type of bizarre question is that?!" Mileena shouted in a annoyed, yet a bit humorous tone.

"Okay, okay, my bad! Here, try some from Earthrealm." You broke off a piece and handed it to her.

You awaited her reaction as she quickly consumed the piece within seconds.

"I'm not a sweet tooth person, but," Mileena paused for a second. Then she looked back at you.

"Outworld's chocolate is better than whatever you gave me."

Your eyebrows twitched as you looked at the candy brand.

'Hershey's'

"If you say so, almighty one."

Both of you spent some time chatting, unknowingly warming up to each other. You both were aware this could cause troubles on both sides, but you paid no mind to it.

It's been a while since you connected with someone like this, not trying to brush off friends from SF.

Soon, you rubbed your tired eyes, and Mileena noticed this. "You must be bold to sleep here without concern of something catching you."

"There's nowhere better." You yawned.

"Since I've taken a liking to you, I can offer you a safe, much more comfortable place to rest. However, you tell no-"

"If I told my team I casually spoke with the daughter of Shao Kahn like friends, I'm sure it would end very bad for me. I like you too. You don't have to worry about me getting you in trouble." You cut her off and explained.

"I'll stay here for just this one night. Tomorrow, I take you up on the kind deal. Mkay?" You stood and looked at her.

Mileena did the same, preparing to leave. "Fine then. If a Tarkatan finds you and eats you, it's totally your fault." She says with humor.

"It totally will be. But, goodnight, Mileena. Thanks for not killing me."

Mileena looked at you with a warming facial expression. "I'll see you tomorrow, Y/n." She purred before taking off swiftly again in the oasis.

As you put out the fire and laid to rest, a thought suddenly popped in your mind.

'Was she flirting with me on that last part?'

[meefy]

okay your turn! Give us songs that remind you of Lata/Feanne!!

This one was difficult not because of the response but because I now have to expose my music taste to the world...

Dollhouse - Melanie Martinez

Places, places Get in your places Throw on your dress and put on your doll faces Everyone thinks that we're perfect Please don't let them look through the curtains Picture, picture, smile for the picture Pose with your brother, won't you be a good sister? Everyone thinks that we're perfect Please don't let them look through the curtains

One for Féanne alone (and the one her Toyhouse page links to). Honestly pretty self-explanatory...the Aurevilles want to give the impression to others within the nobility that they're perfect (when they absolutely are not) - and Féanne was the only one out of her siblings who rebelled against it as she grew older.

Beautiful People - Ed Sheeran

We don't fit in well We are just ourselves I could use some help Getting out of this conversation, yeah You look stunning, dear So don't ask that question here This is my only fear, that we become beautiful people

This was one of the first songs that I heard that reminded me of Féanne and Lata together, but especially this verse! In a more modern AU, the line "I'm not fazed by all them lights/And flashin' cameras/ 'Cause with my arms around you/There's no need to care" would probably fit them too. They're just two eccentric people who don't fit in with what is expected of their noble status.

Heartbeat - Carrie Underwood

And we can't see those city lights and I love the way you look in a firefly glow Saying everything without making a sound, A cricket choir in the background, underneath a harvest moon Standing on your shoes in my bare feet, dancing to the rhythm of your heartbeat

Another Féanne + Lata one! This actually partially inspired their original fic, or at least the scene where they share their first proper dance (especially the harvest moon mention for her family's Harvest Banquet). It was also the first time Féanne started to feel herself falling for Lata...

Stolen - Dashboard Confessional

We watched the season pull up its own stakes And catch the last weekend of the last week. Before the gold and the glamour have been replaced Another sun-soaked season fades away. You have stolen my heart.

For Féanne and Lata, through Lata's POV, when they share their first dance at the Harvest Banquet, though in contrast to her by this point he knows quite well how he feels about her.

True Love - P!nk

Sometimes I hate every single stupid word you say Sometimes I wanna slap you in your whole face There's no one quite like you, you push all my buttons down I know life would suck without you At the same time, I wanna hug you I wanna wrap my hands around your neck You're an asshole but I love you And you make me so mad, I ask myself Why I'm still here, or where could I go You're the only love I've ever known But I hate you, I really hate you So much I think it must be True love

Had to end this list on a silly note...obviously this is from Féanne to Lata, in good fun, or at least when they first meet and have to work together while figuring out both each others' mannerisms and quirks AND their growing feelings for one another!

[tuiyla]

does finchel ever affect your feelings for Rachel? cause i've been thinking on how much Rachel kind of annoys me in S3-4 and I think it's a LOT to do with her looking the other way when it comes to what a jackass her bf is. I feel like it may even be something the writers were conscious of because she's sort of conveniently missing/silent during things like Finn freaking out during S3 prom or when Finn outs Santana. It's like some part of them must KNOW he's wrong, or at least that an in-character Rachel would likely be horrified, so they just kind of avoid the issue.

i mean, Finchel also sucks just for being generally co-dependent and boring as hell in S3-4, but that mostly just made me dislike them as a pairing, not actually side-eye Rachel as an individual character. Whomst amongst us hasn't been hung up on a loser at some point in time? Being hung up on a guy who has deliberately hurt multiple people you consider your friends though? I have less empathy.

You know, that is an excellent question. And the answer is... kinda, yeah.

Funnily enough I'd say it was more annoying to me when rewatching seasons 1 and 2 rather than 3 and 4. I'm pretty sure I have it in my rewatch notes somewhere that it's a pain whenever Rachel goes from having her own scenes to Finchel ones because I love her but then I have to suffer through... all that. I think that blind pursuit of Finn despite him being SO far below her league annoys me much more than the two having that more established dynamic in later seasons. The story itself doesn't see any wrong in what Finn does so how could I single out Rachel for it. It's all on Finn as far as I'm concerned.

That said, I sometimes think about what a realistic Rachel reaction to either The Outing or his hissy fit during prom would have been. Sure is convenient she was absent. Rachel is a fundamentally compassionate person and it REALLY pisses me off that the show LIES to us and says Finn is a better person. Laughable. The Rachel I stan would not have condoned Finn outing someone much less do it herself and she most definitely would not have stood for Finn wrestling a disabled Quinn out of her wheelchair. But that does sour the magical romance doesn't it. Ugh, Finn.

Codependency isn't a turn off for me, I mean, helloooo, Brittana lol, but when Finchel do it it's gross. Hope that helps. I just think Finn is this status symbol for Rachel but she should have realized in season 2, tops, that she's way too good for him and that's that. I often think about how Rachel's too good for Finn, to the point that I get mad about it lmao. And so it hurts to see her simp after him, of all people. And it does get annoying, and it does affect my perception of her at times. Oh I know what I have in my rewatch notes, that Finchel bring out the worst in each other. And I think that is true even if only partially so. Rachel certainly is at her most single-minded and blind to other people when Finn is involved. But yeah you're right Anon, having an "in love with the supposed stud guy who's actually a huge loser" era is not that bad. Understandable for Rachel, really. And when it comes to Finn's crimes it's really just that the show doesn't see them, so why would Rachel.

In that respect, my views of Rachel are not effected because if I started blaming people other than Finn for IKAG I would literally hate this whole cast. Almost all ND members were being biiig flops there just by agreeing to the condescending charade. And I don't think it's Rachel's responsibility that her bf is an ass. That said, it's unfortunate that she keeps pursuing this asshole and I think most of my leats favourite Rachel moments are tied to Finchel. Because of course. So yeah Finchel affects my Rachel feelings but mostly as an annoyance, more than anything, God, she just deserves so much better.

[the-firebird69]

A lot of people are coming too it's a big deal it fits are playing a little but these people are insane they're running around demanding things from everyone they meet and each other and our friend here and say all sorts of rude stuff and venturing forth into the unknown constantly saying they know stuff and they are horrific and they have a plan to go west including Tommy f and to invade the Midwest and to hold him in Cheyenne and say their Americans and everyone in theirs not American including his own people now we have a big problem with that your ex is so sour and he can't stand it now and you're going to try and pull that s*** with him over and over right now he says then you can go f yourself and you're stupid and you sound retarded Stan nobody is going to digest that or hold on to it what are the he worked for you and he had to do that cuz he had to do this act and you're a fool he said it too he's sitting there saying this is why I have to do during the day what is it that you have to do and he's trying to figure out what you're doing at the company too and you start saying I do all the stuff and make sure things are accounted for I said so you just sitting there watching us and we are overflowing with work and he got mad and said this is what I'm doing and he thinks he's just control guy who's running some massive plan and it turns out that he's this very evil person and Trump is too and they're sick they're going around killing people they're killing witnesses partially and they don't do the job I mean really someone disappears the next guy comes in and doesn't know how to do it mostly or what they're real evidence is and the angles for the most part and you don't do anything right Trump you're a freaking idiot and this is a problem we don't have a plan for them to go using devices out there and they do and we don't have a plan for them to invade the Midwest with Force only and you know these guys have known for years because of your big mouth and these people's big mouths now we're all in trouble okay you caused this problem your plans coming up and it's like Springfield and that's okay but this has a much different flavor to it revolutionary war you aren't going around grabbing everybody and taking over the whole territory and we didn't plan for you to do that and you're completely nuts someone said it in the low desert the females took the plan for real and it was Tommy f and he was having a problem with it too and it still is he said they're not they're actually insane our friend says it's not a bad plan if it didn't take 35 or 40 years to prepare but that's because they're retarded and they told people the whole time with her screaming and yelling and we do agree they are a complete mess now they have to run it and everybody is getting up and they should and we're opposed to it of course they're going to try and use force on us

Hulk Hogan so drink up it's a nice beer and it's safe it's almost free but you're not going to take me down by drinking my beer

I hear sales are absolutely through the roof because of what it means

..

I hear that drinking your beer makes you weak no it means that we're going to try and Target you and that's what it means and you're one of these Midwestern guys it's true too

Tommy f

So we have a problem with you Tommy F and yeah it's going to suck everyone knows we blow we're fighting each other it's not going to be that great we need to calm down

Trump

There's other things to worry about that this is a major major concern we are putting APB on these people now people are starting to wake up

Thor Freya

And it is a global conspiracy to take over the whole planet and commit Mass homicide in order to do it and we need to get after them now and we need to have a meeting and Duke Nukem Blockbuster is elected by Zeus and Hera to run it right now and they accept and they said finally

Olympus

We've done this before but this is the main topic in the main subject and it's starting up and they're going to try and do it and they're going to try and move him over and over with no money and they're horrendous horrendous people it needs ultimate Force to stop them and now's the Time and thank God right on time a little bit late but good

Duke Nukem Blockbuster

[sincerestarlight]

The Introverts Guide to The Meaning of Life.

Yeah the title is a bit grandiose but I like it.

This is coming from a place where I wanted to be able to help people. I don’t always know the best words to express what I think when I speak but lately I’ve wanted to work in a space where I could just speak at length about what I feel I’ve learned in my life. About how I think and relate to people and the world at large. And I wanted to do so in a space I felt would maybe be seen and help a person or two.

Hence I made the decision to come to Tumblr.

Call it Madness or Wisdom, you’re still probably right.

So this is going to be my partial diary, partial wisdom blog, partial hard record for whatever therapist wants to look at me down the road. Hopefully they appreciate the documentation.

So I guess the first thing I want to kinda dwell on is, as the caterpillar asks…

Who are you?

TBH I think about this question a lot. Sure I can answer with my name, and that’s indeed who I am in society, but where I begin questioning is who I am to myself.

To anyone who is reading this, Lils is fine.

One of the things I’ve always had a problem with is trying to describe myself. The concept of ice breaking activities fills me with dread, or more commonly these days it’s the ominous “tell me some of your strengths and weaknesses”.

Whoever came up with that question needs to be sentenced to having to use the bathroom on stage in front of an audience.

Seriously there are no good answers to that question! If you say to many good things, or those good things in the wrong way, you’re perceived as arrogant. If you say to many negative things, you lack confidence, or worse they lowball you in pay cause they think you won’t fight back.

And the thing is that you should have confidence in yourself! We are in a big old universe that, as far as we know, stretches on for immeasurable lengths, distances where you can only measure in how many years it would take light to reach it *and it can still be millions of years*

On top of that matter that had at one point just been floating in the void floated into each other *so hard* that it became a giant floating rock. Then this rock managed, through scientific fuckery, make water! An atmosphere! *Fucking Life*. And whatever you think about *what* made life, the fact is that from there, millions of years passed, dinosaurs happened, then they stopped, then humans. Greece, Rome, Wars, and all that time has led to you.

You.

And then fuckin life happens.

Oh yeah, it’s a miracle but it doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck a whole bunch of nards. Christ almighty, it’s a miracle when a kid makes it out of high school without some form of lasting trauma. And then we mold ourselves around that trauma, in the worst case passing those issues onto the next generation.

Why bring up trauma? Well I think that’s why I have a problem with the initial question of who I am.

I used to really like ice breaking activities when I was younger. I always saw them as an opportunity to make friends, maybe if we have similar likes or interests, one of the peeps in my new class will like it too, and we can bond over it and then boom, friend made. So a lot of times, I would talk about what I liked, or things I learned from properties that I liked. It seldom worked the way I expected, but again, stories for another time.

That was my safe spot you know? The things that I liked. I knew those. Give me two options and I can tell you what one I prefer. Tv shows? No problem. Video games? Piece of cake. Sportsball games? I might not be super into them but I can tell you what team I prefer over a different one, even if it’s just based on their uniforms or mascot game.

But then everything changed when the question did.

See, you *have* to go to school. You *have* to do your homework. For stricter upbringings like mine you *have* to get good grades. Living within those confines is it’s own form of comfort. You know what you’re going to do, the question was doing it in a fashion that you like. And after many years of picking between Pokémon starters, that was an easy task. But then one day, maybe later than other people, I wasn’t asked “what do you like”

I was asked “what do you want to do.”

For some people, that question is easy. They know what they want to do. Doctors, artists, scientists, parents, people know what they want to do and the most tenacious of us make it with jobs in their chosen field and I am genuinely thrilled for people who follow their passion. But when I was addressed with that question, I froze. Want was never included in my world up to that point. There were things that sure, if I had complete freedom and unlimited money I’d like to do, but being invested in anything like that was merely fantasy. Sure, being able to lie on the beach in a nice chair with a book in hand sounds like paradise but it’s not really a realistic goal. Same with world domination.

After that I struggled…a lot. I started learning about the things that I like, maybe I could refine down what it was that I liked about them and magically, like an epiphany, I would see the thing that would make me happy, the passion and determination that others had when it came to their craft. But nothing came. I got a retail job after that and spent a good long time basically chasing that next bit of Serotonin. Nothing dangerous but definitely not good for my mental health. If passion wasn’t in my future the least I could hope for would be comfort.

Then I moved into my own place. I had a job that could (barely) afford, and then I looked around and said “well. Now what?”

That was the goal. Self sustainability. And I don’t mean to sound dour about the whole thing, it’s an accomplishment that I am proud of, but a ghost loomed over my head. The concept that now that I am self sustainable, what did I want to do? Obviously there are limits, but now I could exist beholden to no one but myself and…I didn’t know what to do with it. I still don’t. and it’s felt very lonely. Lonely because I feel this bright passion inside of me and I have no way to share it. No way for it to exist in this world.

I don’t know what I want to do but I want to do something.

I want to live my life in joy

I want to love whomever I want at my own pace

I want to be passionate and excited and run into the future with the confidence of the ball of conscious stardust that I am.

And even if no one reads this, writing it down helped a lot. The fact that the very thought exists somewhere helps.

[blushled]

Love | Dallas Winston

MASTERLIST

other Tumblr: sunkissedspidey

taglist is open!

requests are open!

pairing: Dallas Winston x female!reader

summary: Your relationship with Dally was always weird, you weren’t dating and you definitely weren't just friends. But after he almost loses you, he realizes just how much he needs you.

warnings: smut, unprotected sex (please wrap it before you tap it), language, angst, fluff, etc.

word count: 3.7k+

a/n: Please forgive me for how gross and choppy this is! This is the first thing I’ve written in months!! Sorry for any spelling and/or grammar errors!

Your relationship with Dally had always been a little weird. Not by much, but definitely compared to the other guys.

You were the only chick in the group, and everyone in it had a phase at some point where they were completely enamored with you, all expect for Darry, mostly because he saw you as a little sister. But it was always special with Dally.

You had met Dally, and the rest of the guys, when you were 15, right after he had gotten back to Oklahoma from New York. You two were always close, and you were the only person he had ever opened up to, so it's no wonder that you two had lost your virginities to each other, and still have casual sex to this day. The both of you had an unspoken agreement to not tell anyone, but Soda had walked in on the two of you one time, so now it was only you three that knew the secret.

Anyways, regardless of the hours upon hours of sex that was shared between you at least once a day, your relationship was closer than anyone else in the group, even stronger than yours and Soda's, despite the fact that the two of you had been best friends since second grade.

You never really cared about the fact that Dally was sleeping with other people. I mean, it's not like you weren't doing the same thing. You'd had sex with Dally, then Soda one night after you had both gotten absolutely hammered beyond belief, and even Peter Torlini from school a few times. But it always was better with Dally. Not just because he was amazing in bed, but because you were positive that you were head over heels in love with him. And, goddamn, if he didn't feel the same way, he was amazing at faking it. Like, you don't always have that sort of connection with someone when you have sex. Your bodies became one, and you knew exactly what the other needed at that exact moment. Who knows... maybe he was just good in bed and knew what you needed because you had been having sex for so long, or maybe... just maybe; he felt the same way for you that you did for him.

***

"Fuck, Dally! Oh, my god!" You moaned out, his cock so deep inside of you that it had your head spinning.

"Goddamn," He breathed out, his face close to yours, same with the rest of his body, as he pumped into you at a fast, steady pace, a slight sheen of sweat covering both of your trembling, naked bodies. "You're so fucking good and tight for me. 'M not gonna last much longer, Y/N." He groaned out, his breathing heavy, along with yours, as he thrusted even deeper. He wrapped his arms underneath your head, tugging on your hair as you scratched down his back.

"God, please cum for me, Dallas." You moaned, his pace quickening even more so, leaving you screaming as your eyes squeezed shut tightly, your orgasm crashing over you, your walls clenching so tightly around his cock that he couldn't help but cum, quickly pulling out and helplessly spilling his seed all over your stomach as he let out load, drawn out moans, before his muscles gave out and he collapsed back on top of you.

Your hands ran into his hair as he gave you another hot, passionate kiss before rolling over next to you on your bed, reaching over onto the night stand to grab two smokes and a lighter, passing one to you before lighting both of them up, as you both smoked, and exhaled, simultaneously, your brains started to feel foggy with euphoria as the nicotine began to enter your bloodstreams at the same time.

***

A few weeks later, you and the rest of the guys were sitting around, just talking about nothing in particular, only until Two-Bit brought up a fun topic.

"I got it!" He said, a large smirk on his face. "Best lay... Aaand... Steve, go!" Pointing at the brunette with both hands shaped as guns.

"Uhm... Probably Gracie. Big tits." He laughed out, a smoke in between his teeth.

Everyone erupted with laughter, Ponyboy and Johnny rolling their eyes and turning their attention to the cartoons on the small television.

"Y/N! Your turn!" Two-Bit said, laughing as he took a sip of his third beer.

"Not telling." You laughed as you sat on the countertop. You rolled your eyes heavily and let out an annoyed sigh as everyone booed at you. "Ugh, fine," You said, closing your eyes. "Uhm, I'm not saying the name, but he was tall with brown eyes, massive dick, and goddamn, he knew how to use it well, dark hair, and also the best kisser I've ever met before."

    Dally automatically knew that you were talking about it, a smirk spreading across his face as you enthused about just how good the "mystery man" was in bed.

*** You and Dally sat in your old, run down car, eating Dairy Queen and talking about nothing in particular.

"You wanna know something funny?" He asked before licking the melting ice cream off of his waffle cone.

"Always." You smirked, turning the music playing on the radio down a bit so you could hear him more clearly.

"You're the best I've ever had, too." He said, smirking as your cheeks lit up a bright pink shade at his words.

"And why's that, Mister Winston?" You laughed, your eyes meeting his again as he leaned in closer to you, using his free hand to circle around your clit over your underwear, your skirt covering Dally's hand from the wrist down, your eyes slowly rolling back as you moaned quietly into his mouth.

"That's just one of the reasons. You're so goddamn sensitive and I fucking love it." He laughed when you whined after his touched left you, a small huff of anger leaving your lips at the loss of contact.

After a few seconds, you grabbed his ice cream and shoved it in an empty cup, his eyes meeting your with confusion before you moved over the center console to straddle him, your lips immediately going to his as you grinder your hips together, small groans leaving both of your mouths. You tugged at his leather belt, unbuttoning his jeans after, sliding his boxers down, your mouth watering at the sight of his hard cock.

    He reached around your waist and lifted your tight shirt off of you quickly, his soft lips moving to kiss all over your breasts and he left the occasional hickey, his cool, slender fingers i clipping your bra, before he started kissing up and down your neck until you were begging for more.

    "Dally, please." You whimpered, your body trembling from want.

    He moved your underwear over to the side, right before his cock slammed into you as he pulled your hips flush against his, both of you letting out moans because of how fucking amazing it felt.

"Fuck, Dally! Shit, you feel so fucking good!" You screamed out, glad that it was night and that no one was around the two of you.

"Goddamn, you're so fucking tight-" He said before a groan cut him off, his hands gripping your waist even tighter, bruises sure to be left there (not that you were complaining in the slightest).

    One of his hands moved down to your clit, rubbing it in harsh, fast circles as his eyes rolled back, your head dipping down to suck dark purple bruises onto the soft, pale skin of his neck, his hips thrusting up to meet yours in sync, his cock hitting inside of you deeper and deeper with each thrust, the other of you chasing yourself highs as best as you could.

    Your eyes clenched shut tightly as you bit down on muscles of his shoulder, your orgasm crashing over you so strongly that you could barley breathe. Dally's arms wrapped around you, scratching up and down your back and you tugged harshly at his hair, knowing that he was coming close.

    "Cum for me." You whispered into his ear, biting down slightly on his earlobe, and then that was it. He came with a cry of your name and a load groan, his cum coating your walls as you clenched around him tighter, his teeth sinking into your breasts as he continued to thrust up into you until his muscles gave out. Your collective breathing was heavy as you both came down from your highs, his hair sweaty as you ran your fingers through it, the smell of sex and cigarettes lingering in the small, cramped car.

    "Goddamn," He said, laughing as you sat back, moving your hair out of your eyes. "That was fucking amazing."

    "Isn't it always?" You smiled cockily, grinding your hips once more, causing another load moan to come from Dally's throat, partially because it felt amazing and partially because he was so fucking sensitive.

    "What'd I turn you into?" He smirked, biting down on the skin of your neck softly, his perfect teeth skimming your jaw as he made eye contact with you again.

    "A sex addict." You said simply, a smile breaking across your face as Dally started laughing at your blatant tone, his head tipping up to kiss you softly and slowly.

    The two of you had made an agreement not to do anything with anyone else after a while, figuring that it would save the both of you from getting jealous because, even though you weren't official, the both of you were super mad every time you walked in on the other with a different person.

*** "Oh my god, fuck off!" You yelled, laughing as Soda had beaten you in poker for the fifth time that night, the rest of the guys whooping and cheering as you flipped them all of, taking your shirt off, a black bra the only thing covering your chest. Strip poker was a weird game to play with a big group of your closest friends, but it had been a favorite of everyone's for years. Dally stood in the corner, a cigarette in between his teeth as he stared you down, his eyes dark with oust and squinted with anger.

"Alright," You said, standing up and putting your shirt back on, boos coming from the guys. "I think that's enough for me tonight."

You made your way to the bathroom of the Curtis' house, putting your hair up in a ponytail before you washed the dark eyeliner surrounding your eyes off, using a rag to dry your face before changing into an extra t-shirt and pajama shorts that you always kept there, since everyone usually spent the night there.

You walked out into the dark hallway, making your way to the living room before Dally pushed you up against one of the walls, his lips meeting yours harshly as one of his hands made its way into your loose shorts, his long, slender figures toying with your clit as you tried your best to control the volume of your moans.

"Never, fucking never, pull that shit again. You got that? You know how fucking hot you are, and you know how those dudes think about you." He said, his voice low and commanding, but a tone of sweetness underlying in it.

You knew that he wasn't mad, he was just worried, even though there's no way in hell that he would ever admit that to anyone. He was your best friend, and you were his.

*** "Oh, come on, Dally. It's not even that bad. It's just a movie." You whined, gripping onto his denim jacket.

"It's a stupid movie." He laughed as your head sunk even lower, your lower lip stick out as you widened your eyes, your face jokingly pleading.

    "Dallyyy, pleaseee?" You dragged out, kissing his neck softly.

    "Fine. But if I hate it, it's on you." He laughed as you squealed, leaning over and kissing his cheek. And after a second you both looked at each other and then moved away, realizing that you were acting more like a couple than like fuck buddies.

    "I'm- uh- I'm gonna go home. Gotta get ready, ya know?" You said, standing up from the couch at Dally and Buck's place, grabbing your purse and jacket, and waving goodbye to the brunette that had your heart.

***

    As you made you way back over to Dally's, you checked how you looked in the reflection of a storefront window. Your tight white t-shirt clung to your body perfectly, your black ripped jeans hugged your frame, and you had on your favorite jacket. A thick, worn, black leather one that all of the guys had gotten you for your birthday after they had pooled their money together, a switchblade, a pack of smokes, and a lighter in one of the pockets. Your black eyeshadow and eyeliner was done perfectly, and was an amazing contrast to your bright red lipstick.

    "Dally!" You smiled, wrapping him in a small, short hug when we opened his door, throwing a shirt on and leading you down the street towards the drive in.

***

    "I'm gonna go get some popcorn." You said to Dally, smiling as you stood up from one of the cheap, grey folding chairs.

    "Be careful." He said, handing you some money before turning his attention to the movie that he claimed was stupid.

    "Medium popcorn and a large Coke with two straws, please." You said to the worker at the concessions stand, handing him the money in exchange for your food and drink.

    You walked out of the concessions stand, making your way back until some shuffling on the side of the building caught your attention. You turned your head, and the second you did, you instantly regretted it. You saw Dally making out with Polly Winchester, her hands running through his hair as he pinned her against a wall. His eyes met with your for a second and he instantly pulled away, his lips smeared with her red lipstick and his breathing hard.

    "Oh shit." He said quietly, walking over to you, trying to take your hands in his, put you instantly pulled away.

    "You fucking asshole." You said calmly, turning away towards the exit before he grabbed your arm, and then you snapped. "Don't fucking touch me!" You screamed, the people sitting near you turning to look at the two of you.

    "Y/N, I'm sorry." He said, trying his best to reach out for you agin until you took the top off of your drink and threw it in his face.

    "Fuck. You." You said clearly, finally being able to turn and walk away, tears filling your eyes as you walked back to your house.

***

    A few days later, practically in the middle of the night, you were sitting on your bed, a cigarette in one of your hands as you used the other to flip through your favorite book, music softly playing on your record player in the background as you tried your best to ignore the ache in your heart at the fact that Dally was practically fucking a chick against a wall right in front of you.

    A knock on your front door shook you out of your daze, ashing your cigarette before making your way down the hall to your front door. The second you opened it, your heart sank, your stomach dropping as you saw Dallas standing there, a pleading look on his face.

    "C-can I come in?" He asked quietly, his hands stuffed into his pocket.

    You didn't say anything, you just opened your door more and stepped to the side, allowing him to walk into your small house.

    "What do you want? Another pack of smokes? I have some on the counter and a Coke in the fridge and then you can go back to the drive in so that you don't have to pay." You said blankly, sitting down on your couch as flipping through a book that was on your coffee table.

    "No, I don't need any of that. I just wanna talk." He said, standing next to the couch awkwardly.

    "About what? About how you basically fucked Polly during a movie that we were supposed to be watching together? About how you ditched me to go stick your dick in some whore on the side of a goddamn building?!" You said, not being able to control your volume as you stood up looking at him, absolutely fuming.

    "Yeah, pretty much." He answered, not knowing what else to say.

    "You promised me, Dally. You fucking promised." You said, your eyes boring into his.

    "I know, but listen-" He tried to say before you cut him off.

    "No, Dally. You listen to me. You are such a lying fucking asshole! I can't believe I ever thought that we could be something other than friends with benefits." You said, your eyes becoming puffy. "Fuck you, Dallas Winston. I never want to see you again." You said calmly through your teeth, silently seething. You turned towards the hallway to go into your room, before Dally grabbed your arm, your eyes meeting his again, both of your eyes red as silent tear streamed down your faces simultaneously.

    "Please, Y/N." He said, his voice not much louder than a whisper. "Please don't leave me."

    "You've never listened to me when I've asked you not to leave... Why should I listen to you?" You asked quietly.

    "Because I love you, Y/N. More than I've ever loved anything in my entire life. More than smokes and parties and beer. More than sleep and sex and rumbles. So please, Y/N... Please don't leave. And I'm so fucking sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

    "I love you too, Dally. So much more than you'll ever be able to know."

    At this point, his hands were tangled in yours, your faces close together as you both finally admitted your true feeling for one another after all of this time.

    "You do?" He asked, shock evident in his voice. "You love me?"

    "Of course I love you, Dally. I've loved you ever since we were kids." You whispered, your lips only inches apart.

    "Can I kiss you?" He asks softly, his hands going slowly and tenderly up to your neck.

    "Please."

    And with that, you lips met in the most perfect kiss you could ever think of, like your lips were pieces of a puzzle and were made to fit perfectly together. After a few minutes it grew more passionate, more lust filled.

    His hands went down to the back of your thighs, gripping them tightly as you jumped up to wrap your legs around his waist. The two of you continued kissing as he walked the both of you to your room. He placed you softly on your bed, kissing down your body as he lifted an oversized white t-shirt, that just so happened to be his, over your head. He kissed all over your chest and your neck, only stopping for a few seconds to shed off his leather jacket and black shirt, before immediately going back to your lips to kiss you as you moaned into each others mouths while your hips grinned against each other's.

    "Dally, please." You moaned, your hands smoothing over his back.

    "Please what?" He asked, looking at your with swollen red lips, a beautiful contrast to his pale skin.

    "Make love to me." You whispered, your lips close to each others until he closed the distance between your mouths.

    He kissed down your neck, chest, and stomach again as he pulled your shorts off of you, moving to kiss your inner thighs as you whined from the feeling that you missed.

    He stood up again to unbuckle his belt, taking his pants off not shortly after. You pulled him back on top of you, reveling in the feeling of his bare skin against yours. He took his length in is hands, lining it up with your entrance before stopping for a few seconds to stare deeply into his big brown eyes.

    "I love you." He whispered.

    "I love you too." You replied before you met your lips with his again.

    The second he thrusted slowly inside of you, you both let out moans at the amazing feeling. he started with a slow, tender pace as you breathed heavily into each others mouths, your eyes still staring into the others.

    "Oh my god." You moaned out, eyes finally shutting tightly as he continued to pump into you, his pace quickening as his groans started to grow louder and loader, along with your moans.

    "Fuck, I love you so-" He said, getting cut off as he groaned loudly. "I love you so much."

    "I love you too, Dally- Fuck!" You screamed, the feeling of him being inside of you so goddamn intense that you could barely speak coherently.

    And then it made sense. Every feeling that you had ever had for him made so much sense. Every time that he would look at you and smile at the completely ordinary thing you were doing, every time that he told you to call him when you got home, every time that his figures brushed against yours while watching a movie made sense. He had loved you even longer that you had loved him. From the second your eyes met his when you met, he was absolutely head over heels in love with you. He had never realized how much he needed to tell you until he almost lost you, until he realized how much he needs you.

    "Dally, I'm not gonna last much longer." You moaned, lips moving to kiss the sides of his clan shaven face and his smooth forehead.

    "N-neither am I. Fuck, please cum for me, Y/N. Please. God, I love you." He moaned before his head dipped down to meet your lips with his.

    And with a few more thrusts, you were completely spiraling underneath him, your whole body trembling as you came at this same time, his final few thrusts harder and deeper than before until he finally collapsed on top of you, his lips going to kiss your red cheeks as you both breathed heavily.

    "I love you so much. Please be mine, Y/N. Please." He said, his lips skimming yours.

    "I love you more, Dally. And I'll be yours, forever and ever and ever." And with that, you both fell asleep, all sweaty and gross. But you were sweaty and gross and happier than you had ever been before.

[sierraraeck]

How to Apologize

Spencer x Luke x Fem!Reader

Masterlist

Summary: You can’t believe that for the four months since you’ve joined the team, and have been relentlessly flirting with the two hot agents, no one thought to tell you that they were together. Luke and Spencer decide they should apologize to you with an impromptu, late-night visit.

Category: Smut. Essentially pwp. A little fluff and a dash of angst if you squint.

Warnings: Cussing. Alcohol mentioned. Fingering (vaginal and anal), oral (male and female receiving), protected penetration, double penetration. Use of condoms and lube.

Word Count: 5.2k

A/N: Welcome back to episode three of me being in love with Ralvez. I’ve just really been in a mood for them lately, so I hope you enjoy what my mind comes up with when I just keep thinking about them ;)

You’ve got to be shitting me.

You couldn’t believe it. Luke and Spencer were together, and had been for over a year now. You’d only been on the team for about four months, all of which you spent unabashedly flirting with both of them.

Everyone knew it, too. It wasn’t like you were particularly quiet about expressing how much you enjoyed their company, and how easy they were on the eyes. It was fun for you, and you thought it was fun for them. They both seemed kind of into it, and the team found it a little funny.

Now you’re understanding why they found it funny. Because the whole time, you’d been embarrassing yourself by flirting with taken men. And they weren’t just taken. They were dating each other.

“You’re joking,” you said, with absolutely no humor. You were sitting on a barstool looking around at the shit-eating grins around you. They all shook their heads.

Your mouth was agape, “You’re fucking joking. You all saw this happening and not one of you had the decency to tell me!? This is bullshit!”

This just caused more laughter to erupt around you. Luckily, the bar you were at was pretty noisy, so not too much attention was drawn to your group.

“Honestly?” Emily started, “We just wanted to see, you know, as a profiler, how long it’d take you to figure it out.”

“And we,” Luke hopped in, gesturing to him and Spencer, “Wanted to see how well we could control our microexpressions.”

“This is some shit,” you mumbled to yourself, still wrapping your head around what was being said. You were trying to be light-hearted about it, and you had to admit it was a pretty good one they pulled on you, but you still felt a little insulted. And embarrassed. Oh god, you felt really embarrassed. Especially now that you knew they were ‘testing your skills’ or something, and you weren’t good enough to pick up on their relationship. You offered a disbelieving smile and shook your head. “You know what? I’m disinviting myself from this, and I’m going to go home, because otherwise… Actually let’s not talk about what would be happening otherwise.” The whole team gave you some strange looks at that comment, and you just took a deep breath and said, “Okay, I’m just gonna go.”

“Hey, Y/N, wait!” Tara called after you. You turned to face her. “We meant no harm by it!”

You laughed and acknowledged, “Oh, I know! I just think that maybe I should do a little mental detox now that I know I need to cool it.” You winked, trying to make everything calm and casual so that there would be no weird feelings when you returned to work on Monday.

But you definitely had weird feelings. About the deliberate joke that led you down a very deep rabbit hole, about the fact that you couldn’t just ‘detox’ the two men from your mind, and about how long they let the joke mess with your feelings.

It didn’t matter, though, because Spencer and Luke were together, and the last thing you wanted to do was make things complicated.

You were seated on your couch with a glass of wine watching reruns of your favorite show when you heard a knock at the door. You were in your pajamas, a navy tank top with matching shorts, and had been home for nearly two hours. It was a little past midnight, and you were actually about to go to bed. You couldn’t figure out who was at your door, and why the hell they’d be there past midnight, but one look through the peephole gave you clarity.

Two tall, handsome, nervous figures stood, waiting for you to answer. You sighed, unlocking the bolt and pulling the door open. You had the slightest idea to grab a jacket or something to throw on over your pajamas, but you were no longer trying to impress the agents before you.

“Hey guys,” you croaked, voice sounding tired.

Spencer and Luke were still acting a bit nervous, but Luke gave you a small smile. “Hey Y/N. May we come in?”

You gave them a once over, realizing they were both in large, matching, burgundy robes. You were confused, and gave them a strange look, but stepped to the side regardless. They quickly scampered into your apartment.

Once inside, Luke shut and locked the door, standing in front of it. You waited for them to say something.

Instead, they looked at each other, took a deep breath, then undid their robes, dropping them to the floor. They were completely and utterly naked.

“Oh, fuck,” you whispered, unable to peel your eyes away from the two of them.

They both smirked slightly at your reaction, and Spencer brought your attention back to his eyes when he said, “We figured we needed to apologize.”

All you could manage was a weak ‘uh-huh.’

“As long as you were serious about some of the things you said-” Luke started.

“And were actually flirting with us because you liked us-” Spencer continued.

“We wanted to show you that we were serious and flirting with you, too,” Luke concluded.

Again, all you got out was an ‘uh-huh.’ They looked at you expectantly, so you picked your jaw up off the floor and forced your brain to say something more helpful. “Yes, I was dead serious, yes, I was actually flirting with you, and, to answer your next question, yes.”

“The last yes was for what?” Luke half-teased.

“Whatever the fuck is happening right now,” you gestured to their bare forms, “yes.” They both laughed slightly, and just as Spencer was about to take a step toward you, you held up your hand. “Hold on, wait. I know you said you were serious, but is this something the two of you actually want, or is this just out of pity?” you asked skeptically.

Luke’s eyes went wide, “We actually want this.”

At the same time, Spencer said, “This is not out of pity.”

They seemed sincere, and that was good enough for you.

This time when Spencer stepped toward you, you didn’t stop him. His lips latched on to yours, and you immediately sank into his warmth. His lips were soft and his tongue was energetic, searching every part of your mouth it could reach. Luckily for you, he was already stark naked, giving you free reign to explore his bare chest.

As Spencer was exploring your mouth, Luke came up behind you and started lifting your shirt off your frame. His hands felt nice, just barely brushing up against your cold sides. You and Spencer had to part, but only for a moment, as Luke pulled your shirt over your head and tossed it to the side.

You already felt like you couldn’t breathe, but when Luke seductively trailed his fingers up your sides and around between you and Spencer to start toying with your nipples, you thought you might never breathe again. Spencer started kissing down the column of your throat, sucking slightly at each point. Without Spencer’s mouth to absorb the sound, they could both hear the small gasps and whimpers you made at each touch.

Luke was firmly at your back, his hot chest pressed up against your shoulder blades, or maybe the fire radiating from them was all in your head, you couldn’t quite tell. Spencer wrapped his arms around your back, and pulled you all the way to him, leaving barely any room for Luke’s fingers to continue their ministrations. You made a snarky remark in your head about how you weren’t surprised about Spencer’s possessiveness, until he reached behind you. Luke groaned in your ear shortly after Spencer squeezed your ass and continued his trail to the growing bulge behind you. Spencer was quite good at multitasking. Kissing, sucking, stroking… That didn’t surprise you, however. You knew how fast his mind could work, and how it always seemed to be thinking about multiple things at once.

It didn’t really surprise you either that Luke was less good at multitasking. Still amazing, but not like Spencer. With that in mind, you decided to turn the attention of the group a little bit. You turned in Luke’s now still arms, back against Spencer’s chest. You gave Spencer enough room to continue massaging Luke, but you did lean forward enough to plant your lips on his.

Luke’s kiss was different from Spencer’s. His lips were plump and captivating, and his tongue was a bit more languid than Spencer’s, granted that could’ve been because most of his attention was being drawn elsewhere.

“Wait,” Luke panted, pulling away from you. You and Spencer both immediately stopped what you were doing and looked up at him. ���Bedroom?”

You tilted your head in the direction of the door down hall, and the three of you moved like it was a mad dash to get there first.

Once inside, Luke’s lips reattached themselves to yours, and he walked you backwards toward the bed, hands on your waist. They traveled lower, over your still-clothed ass, and spread flat on the back of your thighs. Somehow, you knew what he wanted, lacing your fingers together behind his neck and jumping into his sculpted arms. He swiftly strode the rest of the way to the mattress and plopped you down, following quickly with his own body. Your legs were partially wrapped around his middle and his hands were back on your waist again, this time toying with the waistband of your pajama shorts. You had a fleeting thought about how you wished you were wearing any of the cute lingerie pieces in your drawer, but before ten minutes ago, you never thought the situation you were currently in would even be possible, let alone happen. It wouldn’t matter much longer anyways, as Luke’s fingers were pulling away the remaining garments.

Now, completely bare in front of him, Luke pulled back to admire you. Spencer was at his side, also eyeing you, but wasn’t quite as patient. He crawled up the bed, looking you straight in the eye. You nodded to him, your silent consent for him to lower his head, placing delicate kisses all around your neck and chest. He was back to doing what he had only moments ago, only this time he travelled farther down, sucking one of your nipples into his mouth. You took a shuddering breath, weaving your fingers into his shaggy curls.

Luke stood, admiring the sight. His boyfriend was hunched over their mutual crush, drawing the most arousing whines from your mouth. It went straight to his cock. But, while this was definitely a mutual pleasure situation, it was also a way to make it up to you. He wanted to make sure you got all the attention first before going any further.

With that in mind, Luke joined the two of you, his focus a little farther south than Spencer’s. You’d been so caught up in the feeling of Spencer’s tongue and teeth nipping at your peaks that the feeling of Luke’s fingers circling your clit drew a dramatic gasp from your lungs. You tugged a little harder on Spencer’s locks, causing him to moan into your skin. You made a side note to yourself about hair pulling for Spencer for future reference. You were optimistic that you’d need it.

Luke started gradually picking up the pace on your clit as Spencer switched his attention to the neglected breast. You knew that you were already pooling, and despite not being able to see anything past Spencer’s mess of hair, you could tell that Luke was pleased. His index finger circled around your entrance, one, two, three times before pushing in. Your back arched off the sheets, pushing your nipples further into Spencer’s mouth and palm. Your jaw hung open in a silent moan.

Spencer noticed, and teased, “Come on, you’re usually not this quiet when it comes to expressing how much you enjoy our company.”

Luke leaned up, finger still pushing in and out of you, to see your face. He barely caught what Spencer was referencing, as you were trying to snap your jaw shut, and smirked down at you. He turned his head to the side and started kissing up the side of Spencer’s neck, who habitually craned it to the side, providing more access. Luke added a second digit, scissoring them inside you. Spencer hummed happily at the little hickies Luke was scattering all over his neck, and you felt the heat in your belly start to burn. God, it was so fucking hot, in every sense of the word.

Luke curled both of his fingers upwards, hitting that perfect spot, as he latched his lips to Spencer’s. With the combination of the sight and both men’s ministrations, you fell over the edge.

You squeezed your eyes shut, only a little disappointed that you couldn’t continue looking at them, as your lungs expelled any air you had in your chest.

When the waves of pleasure had mostly subsided, you managed to lift your eyelids, peering up at the sight above you. Luke and Spencer were still attached at the mouth, but they pulled away, Spencer laughing a little while Luke just grinned.

“Remind me to always kiss you like that when we have guests,” Luke said to Spencer, then winked at you. You gave a weak shrug, still too blissed out to form coherent sentences. It wasn’t your fault that the two people you’d been fantasizing about kissing on top of you turned you on. No way in hell you were ashamed about it, either.

Still laying there a bit dazed, the fluffy haired boys rolled over, taking all the heat with them. Spencer was hovering over Luke, tracing his tongue down Luke’s defined muscles before reaching his destination.

Spencer wasted no time running his flattened tongue up and down Luke’s length before sucking at the tip. Luke ran his fingers through Spencer’s hair, and both seemed to relax into each other. Despite the explicit sight in front of you, everything about the two of them, clearly starting to drift into their own world, was domestic. Caring and filled with love. You almost didn’t want to disrupt them, but the overpowering need to be near them won out.

Spencer’s lower half was over the edge of the bed, his toes being the only thing holding him up and giving him a vantage point. You slid off the bed yourself and tried to soundlessly move behind the younger man, coming to rest in a squat.

Spencer was getting Luke all worked up, raspy grunts mixing with satisfied hums as Spencer bobbed his head up and down. His movements came to a screeching halt when you leaned up against the foot of your bed and swiped your tongue quickly over Spencer’s tip. He let out a soft whine, muffled by Luke’s skin, who took a sharp inhale at the vibration.

Spencer’s dick was hard and spilling precum as you worked it into your mouth. His hips started moving of their own accord, forcing you to take him deeper, faster. The three of you started a steady rhythm that was already faltering. Both men were getting close.

Propped up only on your toes, you almost lost your balance once, digging your nails into Spencer’s side for support. He growled, and just because you could, you dragged your nails down the rest of his backside. All of the muscles tensed at once, and you smiled as best you could with your mouth full, moving your hands back to work what your tongue couldn’t.

Abruptly, Spencer pulled his hips back from you, and crawled further up the bed. You followed, getting up from your spot on the ground. Your toes, on the brink of cramping, weren’t complaining.

You realized why Spencer had pulled away so quickly, catching Luke coaxing Spencer into his lap. Even though they were in a slightly different position, it didn't stop you from what you’d been doing before.

Right as Spencer got situated on Luke’s cock, just starting to roll his hips, you took Spencer back in your mouth. You had one foot on the ground, the other knee next to Luke’s torso. Spencer was louder than you’d expected, letting curses and praises fly past his lips as if they were statistics of the utmost importance.

Luke was less vocal, but he seemed more coherent. Barely.

“Come here, baby,” Luke panted. Pulling off Spencer for a moment, you looked back at Luke. His face was already glistening, and he was gesturing toward your legs. You lifted the one closest to him, and he eased it over his head. Straddling his face, he pulled you down to him, licking a clean stripe up your slit. You moaned his name, letting your head hang.

He was just so warm. Everything about Luke was warm. His personality, his face, his tongue and mouth and literal body temperature. It made you feel safe. Thinking that, you realized just how perfect he was for Spencer. You could tell Spencer wasn’t someone who experienced warmth very frequently, you’d heard about his cold past, but you were happy that there was finally someone to show him some. It made you feel even more embarrassed that you hadn’t noticed their relationship sooner.

Lost in thought, you’d stopped doing anything besides feeling Luke’s tongue alternate between pushing into you and swirling around your clit, something Spencer was less excited about. His large hand cupped your face, causing you to look up into his pleading eyes. You stifled a giggle at the sight, quickly figuring out why he was looking at you like that. You returned to tracing your tongue up and down his cock, but it was becoming much harder to focus.

Luckily, you could feel how close Spencer was to finishing, and gave him the silent ‘okay’ to finish in your mouth.

Hot ropes of cum filled your throat, and tears pricked the corners of your eyes when Spencer pushed all the way into your mouth. You were gasping for air when Spencer leaned back from you, and so was Luke as he desperately called Spencer’s name. He must’ve been close when Spencer momentarily stopped moving to find his own release.

The pressure between your hips was building as you continued to watch Luke disappear inside Spencer. You started wriggling your hips for more friction against Luke’s mouth and slight scruff, but Luke wouldn’t let you. He wrapped his arms almost completely around your waist, and pulled you down like an anchor. No matter how much moving you did, there would be no getting out of his grasp, not like you really wanted to anyway.

You couldn’t tell which one of you finished first, but your collective moans filled the air all the same. You whined at Luke who continued to lick up every ounce of moisture from you, the sensations starting to become a little too much.

He let you go, and you took a moment or two to deep breathe, forcing oxygen back into your lungs. Once Spencer thought you’d gotten sufficient air, he took it all away from you again, leaning down to kiss you. He tasted himself on your tongue, which only made him relive the fresh memory over again.

He peppered little kisses down your neck and side, which was a tad ticklish. Spencer caught on despite you trying to keep yourself together, noticing the slight flinching in your muscles. He spent extra time working you up until you were laughing and begging him to stop.

Spencer was working his way down to Luke, who’d been absentmindedly massaging your cheeks for no other reason than he wanted to touch your tush.

You weren't sure how, but the two tall men were able to kiss each other around you, Luke sitting up and Spencer leaning forward. He got to taste you off of Luke’s lips, and was almost jealous that he didn’t decide to take Luke’s spot instead.

You leaned into Luke’s chest, resting your head on his shoulder and reaching behind you to thread your fingers through his soft curls, much shorter than Spencer’s but fun to play with nonetheless. They kissed each other with more passion than you’d really ever seen before, one hand touching the other man, their other hand tracing the curves of your body. You felt like you could fall asleep in the exact position you were in, half on Luke’s lap, half on Spencer’s.

But alas, there was still plenty of night to fill. Spencer asked if you had any lube and condoms, and you were about to get up and get them, but both men kept you where you were. You started wondering how much the two of them talked about or planned before showing up at your door, but decided those were questions for a later hour.

You directed Spencer to where both were kept while Luke turned you around to face him. You had a very quick discussion about cleanliness, something you were relieved to find out wasn’t an issue for any party, and Luke was sliding on a condom and pushing into you before you knew it. Pregnancy wasn’t something you were looking for at the moment.

Luke had been doing most of the work up until Spencer returned, his presence really only being a shifting of air behind you. Your eyes were locked on Luke’s eyes which were flicking between you and the man behind you.

It took you all the way up until Spencer’s hip bones came in contact with your ass that you realized what Spencer wanted the lube for. That and the guttural groan that ripped itself from Luke’s chest. At that point, Luke had stilled his thrusts up into you, so you decided to keep the pace, bouncing up and down on Luke’s ever-hardening dick. You braced yourself with a hand on his chest, his skin feeling like it might melt your fingertips.

Spencer snaked his hands around your body, cupping your breast in his hands and rolling your nipples around between his fingers. Spencer, you were convinced, had bad circulation, feeling colder than you and Luke. You arched your back into him regardless, giving him full access to nip down your neck as he continued to pound into Luke. You had barely noticed the slowing of your hips atop Luke’s until Spencer placed his hands on your waist with a bruising grip. He set a much faster pace for you and Luke than either of you had set before, but you couldn’t be mad. Each thrust pushed you further and further toward the edge.

That all stopped when Spencer lightly leaned you over Luke’s body, Luke gladly accepting by pulling you even closer, wrapping his arms around your back. The three of you were still moving, but only in the slightest way you could from your positions.

With your face buried in Luke’s neck, reveling in the momentary reprieve of a slower pace, Luke must’ve been looking at Spencer who was tracing all sorts of patterns on your ass. You felt like there was a silent conversation you were being left out of.

You were clued in when Spencer traced a single finger right over your puckered hole, all the muscles contracting at the sudden contact. Luke whined at the tension, as he was still completely sheathed inside you.

Spencer lightly continued his tracing, close but not too close, as he leaned over your back and asked, “Is it okay if I touch you here?” He emphasized his words with another swipe over your hole. This time, you were a bit more prepared.

You twisted your neck around to look at Spencer’s face. It was soft and questioning, showing you that, while he was interested, he clearly wasn’t going to do anything you didn’t want to. But you were intrigued. You’d only ever tried it once before with a definitely straight man, and it was just medium. Nothing you had really considered doing again until now, but you trusted Spencer. And honestly, who better to give it a second chance with than someone who knew what he was doing? Not only that, but frequently participated in it with his boyfriend?

You nodded, looking him straight in the eyes. “Yes.”

“Let us know if you are ever uncomfortable or need us to stop,” Luke reminded.

You turned your attention back to him and nodded again. “I will.”

Now with confirmation from you, Spencer dripped some of your lube at the top of your ass, watching it roll all the way down to where you and Luke were connected. Luke had stopped moving completely, and you were staying still enough for Spencer to slowly push a finger into you. He confirmed with you one more time that you were okay, which you assured him you were, before he started moving.

He was nice and slow to start, allowing you time to adjust to the feeling. As Luke started rocking back and forth with his hips, Spencer added a second finger, scissoring them to help stretch you out. You hissed at the added pressure.

Both men started moving a bit faster, pulling gasps out of you faster than you could bring air back in. You were surprised that you whined when Spencer removed his fingers, not realizing how much you were actually enjoying yourself. You felt empty with the loss of contact, but didn’t have to worry for long when the familiar ‘pop’ of the lube cap let you know it had been opened.

A few moments later and Spencer was filling you up at a tantalizing pace. Luke slowed again, allowing you time to adjust to the new sensations. The man at your back pulled clean out of you, drawing yet another whimper, as the one below you placed his firm hands on you back and rolled the two of you to the side.

Spencer was at your back again, already pushing back into you as Luke pulled your top leg over his hips, giving both men better access.

It started out slow and sensual, but gradually turned into something desperate and frantic. Hands were groping over bodies, mouths were attaching themselves to any lips or skin available. Spencer was massaging your tits from behind and Luke hand his arms draped over your hips to bring you closer to him with each thrust by your ass. The three of you were a mess of limbs and moans, each trying to meet your end.

Spencer came first, sloppy thrusts coming to a halt behind you, and tried to muffle his groans in the flesh of the base of your neck. It didn’t help much. You were right behind him, the brutal pace they had been pounding into you becoming too much. You were worried you might have blown Luke’s eardrum out with how closely you were screaming next to him, a sound your neighbor was sure to mention when filing a complaint you couldn’t care to feel guilty about.

You and Spencer were floating down from your highs, but Luke wasn’t as satisfied. He pulled out of you, cold air hitting your body and sending a shock through your system. His lips were on yours quickly, which had you melting again.

He growled in that deep voice of his about turning you around, which made you feel all tingly until he actually did it. It took more effort than you care to admit to simply change sides, facing Spencer now. It was good to look at his face again. You had absolutely no problem with Luke’s (who would?), but you wanted to look at them equally. Unfortunately, you weren’t born with eyes in the back of your head.

You were back in the same position you’d been in, just this time your other leg was propped up on Spencer’s more pronounced hip bones and not Luke’s. Spencer quickly took advantage of getting to see your face head on, capturing your lips with his. His tongue slid into your mouth when you gasped at the feeling of Luke entering you from behind. It was a bit easier for him to slide in, Spencer having already stretched you out. Luke joined Spencer as they both kissed down your neck, only stopping briefly to kiss each other.

The slightly younger man trailed all the way down to your breasts, taking your nubs in his mouth or fingers. Luke was still marking up your neck, brushing his fingers down your sides. With each of his thrusts, your heat was grinding against Spencer’s length, which you felt continually get harder. He looked into your eyes and you whispered the few words of your consent, not being able to get anything else out.

He bucked his hips up into yours, having no trouble as you were still wet from your previous orgasm and your impending one. The feeling of the two of them pushing and pulling inside you, hitting different spots from different angles, you knew you weren’t going to last long. It just felt so good to be completely filled up to the hilt.

Needing something to grasp on to, your fingers immediately found Spencer’s curls. You remembered from earlier he seemed to like it, so you tugged, pulling a delicious groan from his pink and puffy lips. You felt Luke’s labored breath on your ear, and with the few brain cells that were still working, you could tell that the three of you were very, very close.

You snapped first, clawing your nails down Spencer’s back, and the feeling seemed to be enough for him. The sound of his love and his crush moaning in harmony pushed Luke over the edge, joining your symphony.

The three of you laid there panting before both men got up to remove their condoms. Luke came back with a towel to wipe you clean of yourself, Spencer putting the lube back where he found it. Luke tossed the towel to the side, laying down next to you. Spencer walked back into your room on slightly shaky legs, which made you smile just a bit. He, too, collapsed next to you. You were able to see all the red marks on his back and thighs from your nails, and you almost felt bad for not spreading the wealth around a little more, only Spencer’s skin receiving the assault.

Soon, all of your breathing reached a normal level, and Spencer pulled the sheets up over his body, Luke helping him get you under, then sliding under himself.

You sighed with content, then laughed, drawing both men’s attention to you, as if it weren’t already. “Wow. You sure know how to apologize.”

They both chuckled with you, cuddling even closer now.

“So was it worth it?” Luke half-teased.

You pretended to think about it, but replied, cheeky, “I mean, you could have told me sooner, but I guess I don’t mind the two of you needing to apologize.” And to be honest, you hoped there’d be more reasons for apologies in the future.

[peachiimilquetea]

𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐭

𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘 6 months or so, your boyfriend is presented with a little predicament

contains: sub!demon bf x dom!reader, mistress kink, choking, riding, bf in heat, gn!afab reader

- you two had only been dating for a few months, 7 at the most

- your boyfriend had been being distant lately

- answering your texts late

- cutting facetimes short

- declining offers to hang out

- you were suspicious but every time you asked him directly, he denied it claiming he was perfectly fine

- he was a shit liar for a demon

- after a week of this you decided to surprise him at his home

- you two had been dating long enough for you to know his work schedule so there's no way he wouldn't be home

- you took the day off work and took the bus to his place, heart in your ass the whole time

- what if he was cheating on you or something?

- you didn't want to think about that

- stepping up to his apartment door you felt sticky and hot

- was it hot outside?

- the door felt significantly warmer as you raised your hand to knock on it

- you didn't get a response but you heard a faint groan and some shuffling

- you knocked harder

- this man would open up if you had to rip the door apart with your bare hands

- you tried the doorknob on a whim and to your surprise, it opened up

- his apartment was dark inside and messy

- not the kind of messy that would cause for concern but he definitely hadn't left it for a few days

- you heard more shuffling from the direction of his room and made the executive decision to investigate

"babe?"

- no response

- you kept moving deeper into the apartment, feeling the air get thicker with each passing step

- what the fuck was going on?

"baby? its me. i know you're home you're not slick."

- your boyfriend's voice answered back, muffled through his bedroom door

"please i need you to leave"

- leave? why would you leave?

"I just need you to tell me what's going on. its ok I won't be mad at you"

- that was a partial lie but you needed to get him to talk to you

"I need- hnghh~ i need you to leave please"

"are you ok? you sound like you're in pain. let me-"

"NO! no! please... just stay where you are. this is fine."

- his voice was shaky and uneven, even through the muffled door

- something was wrong

"I'm sorry, but I'm coming in"

- a strangled noise came out of your boyfriend's throat as you neared the door

- you could hear him scrambling to get away from you

- this door handle was even hotter than the one at the front door as you turned it, getting hit with a wave of steam and musky scent

- it wasn't bad per se... but he had definitely been sweating

- a lot

- he sat curled up in the corner of the room farthest away from you

- he was wearing nothing but his briefs, tail coiled around his legs

"is this a demon thing that you neglected to tell me about?"

- all you got was a whimper in return

"babe... what is going on"

- he mumbled out a response

"what?"

"...iminheat"

"you what?

"I'm in heat"

- oh

- well

- thats definitely new

"thats a thing that can happen?"

"yes and now you need to leave"

- he practically hissed at you

- you could see it all over his face

- he was flushed and burning up, struggling to hold himself back

"please"

- his voice was so small

- you had never seen him like this. so fucked out. so needy without so much as a touch

- it sparked a tightening sensation in your lower abdomen as you tried to will yourself not to be turned on at a time like this

- he needed your help

- and you wanted to help him in the nastiest of ways

"and why can't I stay?"

- you wanted to rile him up a little

- just to get a taste of how far gone he truly was

"you make the symptoms worse obviously! did I need to- ngh~ s-spell that out for you?"

"don't get snippy with me, baby boy. I'm only trying to help you out"

- his breath hitched at your words and you noticed his hands grip the carpet a bit tighter

- checkmate

"is there anything I can do to ease the pain, my love?"

- your voice was sickly sweet as you started making your way over to him

- he swallowed thickly, finally looking at you fully since you had walked into the room

"please touch me"

- you reached down and began to gently stroke his hair

- his tail unwound itself from where it was previously, tracing over your calves and upper thighs and coiling around your leg

"where do you want mistress to touch you baby?"

"everywhere... p-please- its so hot mistress"

"awww does my little slut need someone to take care of him?"

- he whined in response, leaning in harder to your hands in his hair

- you then grabbed a fistful and tugged slightly, relishing in the primal groan that came out of your extra sensitive boy

"what if mistress plays with your horns, hm?"

- your boyfriend jerked forward, bracing himself on your thighs

- he was losing control over his demon form, normally short and clean nails blackening and turning into claws the more you teased him

"I cant- ah- i need you to touch me more please"

- you groped his horns more roughly and he let out a wanton moan

- that shot straight to your core

"get up and lie back on the bed. mistress is going to take good care of you"

- he practically teleported onto his bed at your command

- his cock strained in his briefs, looking as though it could rip right through

- did he get bigger?

- can dicks do that?

"what do you want me to do to you"

- you smiled at him, taking your top off and gesturing for him to do the same

- he only moaned and squirmed in response

"use your words, baby boy. don't keep mistress waiting"

"I want- i want you to use your mouth on me! please mistress"

- mouth it is

- you stalked over to the bed, practically crawling to him

- teasing his upper thighs and the apex of his hips

- he shivered at your touch but stayed where you had directed him to be, making no moves to touch or grab at you

- what a good boy

- you pulled his briefs down and watched as his cock sprang free with an abnormal amount of force

- the faint smack of his dick on his stomach made your mouth water

- it was such a pretty shade of dark red at the tip too, practically oozing precum like a leaky faucet

- you grabbed his dick in your hand, spitting on your tight fist to lube it up a little and swiping your thumb over his slit

- his loud gasp almost reverberated off the walls of the room

- he quickly gripped at the sheets below to steady himself as you worked his cock up and down

"how does this feel?"

"g-good. so good"

- keeping eye contact with him, you licked a long stripe up the underside of his shaft

- he hissed as you continued your ministrations, taking all of him in your mouth and using your tongue to tease his head

- the sounds he was making above you were heavenly, incoherent babbles about how much he loved you and how sensitive he was

"your mouth is so hot and wet mistress- ah! i-it feels so-OH"

- you grabbed his balls gently but without warning, softly kneading them in your free hand

- you continue to suck on him, increasing the pressure as he got louder and louder

- he was almost trashing now, fighting himself to keep from kicking you off but still letting himself react to his pleasure in all its glory

"do you want to cum now baby?"

"i- cant- i c- i cant hold it, mistress!"

"you don't have to hold it, baby boy. let go"

- you let him out of your mouth last minute and jerked him harshly, making him yelp and cum all over his chest and stomach

- he was heaving as he came down from his high, starting to feel a bit cooler and less needy

- unfortunately, he should have been paying more attention to you

- you quickly moved up the expanse of his body, straddling him to hover over where your hips met

"wait- what are you- ah hnghh"

- you sank down onto his cock, relishing in the slight sting of the stretch from this position

- it definitely got bigger

- your boyfriend was practically drooling now, hypersensitive from his heat and his first orgasm

- he keened and moaned as you teased him everywhere, gripping your hips to steady himself

- pinching and twisting his nipples

"n-not to ha-AH-rdd"

- kissing his neck and marking him on his upper chest

"hnghhh mistress please not my ears they're sensitive!"

- and sticking your fingers in his mouth when he got too loud

"hmgphhh~ aaaaaaah"

- that one was his favorite

- you felt your own orgasm building as he grabbed you all over, groping your ass and chest

"did i say you could touch?"

- he whined as you moved his hands back to your hips

"no mistress but i-"

- you reached out to slide your hand loosely around his neck

- he shut up immediately, lust pooling in his eyes

"choke me"

- you obliged the man, squeezing the side of his neck and watching him sputter out some kind of thanks

- his eyelids drooped as you held the pressure and he looked utterly fucked out

- so pretty for his mistress

-you felt yourself getting close and released him, changing the position at which you were riding him

- using his stomach for balance you bounced harder on him the slight change allowed for him to hit you just right

"I'm gonna cum, baby"

- you cried out as your orgasm shot through you

- your boyfriends grip on your hips tightened as you clenched around him, riding out your high with little regard for how he was keeping up with you

"s-slow do-own~! I'm gonna cum again mistress"

"be a good boy and come again for mistress. let her milk you dry"

- leaning down close to his face you licked up one of his horns and slammed down on him, clenching yourself all the way

- with a gasp and a loud cry he came, almost levitating off the bed

- you felt his hot spurts of cum inside you, filling you up and seeping out around the sides of your pussy

- you collapsed on top of him letting him hold you to his chest

- the two of you were a puddle of sweat, cum and fatigue as you caught your breath

"how are you feeling now?"

"a lot better"

- you noticed the room felt significantly cooler as you curled up together

"how long does this thing last?"

"we've got another week"

- he chuckled as your eyes widened

- a whole week???

- you would worry about it later

- you felt yourself nodding off as you rubbed your face deeper into his chest

"don't worry baby boy, i'll take good care of you"

- the demon had been satisfied

- for now

[dialovers-translations]

DIABOLIK LOVERS DAYLIGHT Vol. 4 Sakamaki Subaru [Track 1]

Original title: 不機嫌の理由

Source: Diabolik Lovers Daylight Vol. 4 Sakamaki Subaru

Audio: Here [Original & Adjusted pitch versions available]

Seiyuu: Takashi Kondou

Translator’s note: This CD has been a rollercoaster of emotions. When I first started listening to it, I was so distraught by the drastic change in Subaru’s voice, I had a hard time focusing on the actual content. Thankfully, I found a solution and was able to listen to the altered pitch version while doing my translation, which really helped me enjoy it much more. uwu

Track 1 ll Track 2 ll Track 3 ll Track 4 ll Track 5 + Epilogue

→  LIKE MY TRANSLATIONS? SUPPORT ME ON KO-FI!

Track 1: The Reason Behind a Bad Mood

The scene starts with Subaru running around frantically in the forest.

“Haah, haah, haah, haah...Ugh, fuck!! ...Hah...I’ve been runnin’ all over...So why can’t I find this damn thing!? I have to hurry or she’llーー...!! ...I’ll find it no matter what...She’s the one person I won’t let die...!”

He continues running.

*FLASHBACK*

Subaru enters the entrance hall.

[01:05] “...Oi! I thought it was weird you weren’t in your room, but this is where you’ve been? ...Don’t tell me, you’re not ‘bout to head out, are you?”

You nod.

“Ah...? Do you have any idea what time it is? Why can’t you just do groceries tomorrow?”

You insist.

“Ugh...! ...What is it you want?”

You explain.

“Takoyaki and donuts...!? Why do you need those thi...Tsk. Must be Ayato and Kanato, huh? Did they ask you?”

You nod.

[01:45] “So that’s why you’re thinkin’ of makin’ a casual trip to the grocery store in the middle of the night? They’re makin’ you run errands for them ‘cause you always just obediently nod your head in response. Just ignore them!”

You frown.

“...Tsk! Let’s just go then...”

You seem surprised.

[02:07] “I can’t stop you, can I? In that case, I’m taggin’ along. You really think I’m lettin’ you head out by yourself?”

You thank him.

“I...I’m not worried or anythin’...! I’m only comin’ with you ‘cause I’ve got nothin’ better to do! Don’t get the wrong idea! ...Now just follow me!”

*TIMESKIP*

[02:42] “...Oi. You still haven’t made a choice? All donuts are the same, no!? Just how long do you need to make up your damn mind!? ーー She’s not even listenin’. Ah-ah...Look at that serious expression on her face. All for Kanato’s sake, what a fool.”

You continue looking at the donuts. 

“...Ugh, whatever! I’ll be waitin’ for you outside. This sickly sweet smell is makin’ me gag!”

He leaves the store.

*TIMESKIP*

The two of you are walking back home.

[03:33] “...Hah.”

You ask if he’s upset.

“Haah? …I’m not mad, really.”

You seem worried that he’s upset about what you did earlier.

[03:41] "If you feel that way, you already have a clue, don’t you? Then stop pesterin’ me with your questions. …It’s annoyin’. …For one, you should have never listened to those guys in the first place. Next time you better refuse, no matter what they tell you to do. You’re in no way obligated to take orders from them.

You protest.

“…Hah? What do you mean, ‘but’? You’ve got a reason or somethin’? You talk back to me all the time, but when it’s them, you suddenly become obedient, huh?”

Subaru corners you against the wall.

*Rustle*

[04:20] “— Ugh. Seems like…you’ve forgotten who you belong to. …You’re takin’ orders from other dudes left and right…It pisses me off seeing you like that. I’ll make you remember who’s the only guy you should ever listen to.”

You start to panic.

"There’s nobody ‘round, really. ...Even if there was, they wouldn’t be able to see us in the dark. Now if you just keep your voice down, nobody will notice. ...Come on, stop restlessly lookin’ ‘round and face me instead.”

*Rustle*

“Let me suck your blood...”

You grow flustered. 

[05:04] “...Heh.”

Subaru bites you.

*Gulp gulp*

“...Hah. You’re being surprisingy meek. Where’s the usual cheekiness, huh?”

You explain.

“Oh? You’re actually enjoyin’ it, aren’t you?”

You protest.

[05:28] “Hah? ...No wonder I thought you were clutchin’ it so protectively...Even in this kind of situation, you’re still worried ‘bout the stuff they asked for, huh!? I seriously don’t like this! Seems like you just never get the message unless I make myself loud and clear.”

You ask if he is mad. 

“Yeah, exactly. I’m mad. How could I not be!? It pisses me off how you keep on showin’ concern towards anyone and everyone but me! On top of that, you hesitate whenever I tell you to just ignore their requests! Stop takin’ orders from others already!”

You tilt your head to the side.

“...Hah? Whatcha lookin’ at? Are you goin’ to beg for mercy?”

You ask if he is perhaps jealous.

[06:22] “...Haah!? W-Who are you callin’ jealous!? ...Bullshit! For one, you’re to blame for being unable to just turn down their requests! All you need to do is say ‘no’ next time, yet you keep on sayin’ ‘but’ or ‘still’...What’s so bad ‘bout just turnin’ them down for once!?”

You try and defend yourself.

“Hah! Again with the ‘but’, huh? Just spit it out already!”

You explain.

“Hah? Well...Knowin’ those guys, it’s obvious they’d lose their shit. Kanato’s a pain in the ass with his angry tantrums and Ayato would probably say something like ‘Then give me your blood insteーー’ ...Wait, is that why you can’t turn down their requests?”

You nod, explaining that you don’t want anyone but Subaru to suck your blood.

[07:15] “...!! ‘Other than me’, you say...? ...Oh. So that’s why...”

You ask if something is wrong.

“...I-It’s nothin’...! Anyway, if that’s your reasoning, you should have told me sooner! How am I supposed to know from just a single ‘but’ or ‘I mean’...!?”

You apologize.

“Well...Seems like you haven’t forgotten who you belong to, at least. That’s why you don’t want anyone but me to suck your blood, right?”

You nod.

“...You need to make yourself a lil’ more obvious, honestly.”

You insist it is partially his fault for misunderstanding as well.

[07:56] “ーー Hah!? There was never any misunderstandings on my part! ...Besides, you sure have some nerve, puttin’ the blame on me. You really are defiant towards me. I was gonna let you off the hook ーー But scratch that. You’re at fault for enticing me. I’ll suck you from the other side next. ...I feel like leavin’ more and more of my marks on you.”

Subaru bites you again.

*Gulp gulp gulp*

“...Hah. You’re lettin’ your voice slip. I thought you didn’t want anyone to see us? Not that I care ‘bout that.”

*Ba-dump・ba-dump*

[08:50] “...? ...O-Oi! What’s wrong...!? I haven’t sucked that much for you to grow weak in your knees already, right!?”

You clutch your chest.

“...Are you feeling under the weather perhaps?”

You shake your head.

“You sure? You’d say that even if you aren’t actually ‘fine’, wouldn’t you?”

You insist that you’re fine.

[09:13] “...Okay then. ...Hah. Don’t give me a scare like that. It doesn’t feel good suckin’ from someone who’s shaky on their legs. Wanna just go home? ...Come on, gimme your hand.”

You grab his hand.

“It’d suck if you were to nearly collapse again, so hold onto it tightly, ‘kay?”

You nod.

“Haah...Ah, speakin’ of whichー Did the takoyaki and donuts you were oh-so worried ‘bout make it out unscathed?”

*Rustle rustle*

You shriek.

“Hehe...Guess they still got crushed in the end. Serves those bastards right!”

You frown and decide to avoid them once you’re home. 

[10:03] “...Hm? Ah, yeah, you do that. If not, who knows what you’ll have to go through when they take out their anger on you. I’ve been worried ‘bout that as well, so sounds great. Just stay within my sight for today.”

You tell him it will be fine.

“I don’t believe your ‘it’ll be fine’. So I’ll make sure to keep an eye on you even after we get home to ensure you don’t run in any trouble. ーー And if the coast is clear, I’ll continue where I left off earlier.”

You get flustered again.

“Hehe...Don’t freak out now. Come on, let’s go home.”

The two of you start walking back to the manor.

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

mango, m | jjk | 2

pairing(s): jungkook x reader

summary: A love story between bad boy Jeon Jungkook and a strange girl with mango eating obsession.

warnings: rated M (18+) for language; mentions of parental abuse and suicide; suggestive words/actions; alcohol consumption; mentions of nightmares plaguing the reader; non-idol!AU - university!AU; badboy!Jungkook x sociallyawkward!reader, ft bestfriend!Hoseok and friendly!Namjoon

--

1.

-

Your head leaned against the wall of the library. Too many books around you, research paper already outlined for you seminar class. That was good. You only needed a partial outline next week and you would finish tweaking the outline tomorrow. You phone was open beside your papers, screen blaring at you.

Jungkook’s text, asking where you were. Your reply.

Library.

No further information. A guy like that probably never stepped foot in a library his entire life.

You closed your eyes. Placed your arms over your papers, sighing softly. You were in one of the study rooms in the upper floors of the library, where all the scientific journals were.

Why had you given him your phone number like that?

Self-destruction.

You turned your head the other way, eyeballs shifting under your closed lids.

Guys like that only cause self-destruction.

Your thumb ran over your glossy nails. You wondered if he would be mad at you for associating yourself with someone who looked dangerous and wild. Maybe he would tell you it was a bad idea. Maybe he could make you see reason. All you had to do was call him and ask for his opinion.

I’m sorry, Hoseok.

You ran your other thumb over the nails on your other hand. The little stickers caused raised bumps, but none of them had peeled off yet. You pressed your thumb down on one of them.  At least he was still there, with you in this way.

A soft blackness swallowed you up, taking you into deep slumber.

Then, a coated sweetness pressed against your lips. A familiar taste. You opened your mouth and the thin, flat piece of dried fruit slid partway in. Your teeth stopped it. Spun it slowly with your tongue. Then it went into your mouth. Chewed.

Opened your eyes.

Jeon Jungkook, standing over you.

Holding a pack of dried mango. Eating a piece, his straight white teeth gnawing at it. Pink lips closing around the orange fruit. The mole under his lip danced with movement. His brown eyes were darker due to the harsh fluorescent overhead light. Tan skin glowing, black hair slicked back with too much gel, revealing his clean undercut. Leather blazer over a low-cut black t-shirt. Black jeans. Black backpack far too deflated to be holding much.

“Don’t know how you eat this stuff,” Jungkook said absentmindedly. He sat down on the chair next to you. Scooted closer. You could smell his cologne. Something sharp, but clean. “It’s not bad, but I couldn’t eat packs and packs of it like you.”

You lifted your head. “Habit.”

He nodded. “I noticed you do it whenever I talk to you.”

You chewed slowly.

“I don’t talk to people.”

“Hmm.”

He looked you over. Black turtleneck. Maroon oversized hoodie. Black flared miniskirt. Black opaque tights. Black boots with a ten-centimeter platform.

“What do you do for fun?”

You reached over and stuck your hand into the pack of dried mango. Picked a piece and placed it in your mouth. Sat back in your chair as you chewed on it.

“I don’t have fun.”

Jungkook sucked his teeth. It seemed like he was trying to unstick some candied fruit from them. “You seem like the creative type though. Moody and artistic.”

You shifted your eyes, staring into the bookshelves. “Creation is meaningless without an audience.”

Jungkook scratched his nose. “Maybe you just don’t want anyone to know what you’re thinking.”

You stopped chewing.

You turned your head to face Jungkook. He frowned at the packet of dried mango and placed it on the desk, sliding it to you. Then he noticed you staring at him. His lips curved into a slow, sly smile.

“You doing anything tonight?”

-

You didn’t go to parties.

Never. In your entire life. Not even a birthday party. You didn’t have birthday parties yourself either.

You only remembered beatings on your birthday.

You stood at the edge of the lawn, looking up at the large house. Too many people. Too much drinking. Too much danger. You reached into the center pocket of your maroon hoodie, pulling out a piece of dried mango. Slowly placing it in between your teeth. Spinning it. A couple was making out on the porch, pressed against the wall. Sucking the dried mango in your mouth. On the other side of the porch, a girl was slapping another guy and tossing the contents of a red plastic cup at him.

Chewed.

You shouldn’t have come. This wasn’t where you belonged.

A strong hand gripped your upper left arm. Familiar fingers. Long, strong ones, with small tattoos.

“How long you been standing out here?”

Alcohol on his breath.

“How much mango you consumed in that time?”

You held out an empty cellophane bag.

“Wow. Impressive.”

You chewed. The fingers let you go. They danced up your shoulder.

“You don’t seem to be bothered when I touch you.”

You swallowed.

“That’s because it’s obvious what you want.”

Jeon Jungkook chuckled. Deep and amused.

“But talking bothers you?”

You exhaled. Took out another piece.

“Words, intentional or not, leave everlasting scars far longer than a meaningless fuck.”

You placed it in between your teeth.

“Do you think it will be meaningless?” His voice was low, treacherous.

You paused. His fingertips balanced on the shoulder of your hoodie. A gust was wind made your black skirt flutter against your thighs. You felt nothing. Not cold, not hot. Nothing but those fingertips balanced on your shoulder. You sucked in the piece of mango and chewed. You could walk away. Not provoke him anymore and not try to walk through that fire.

You could back away and continue on your tightrope, high above.

But if you were already standing on this street, in front of this house, didn’t that mean your feet were already on the asphalt? Weren’t you already on the ground, wandering down that lost highway?

“There is no meaning in the arms of a stranger.”

You reached for your hoodie pocket again but his fingers wrapped around yours. Stopping you. Pulling you to him. Face shining in the moonlight, brows furrowed as he looked down at your face. Thick silver chain glinting at his throat. Dark hair slicked back but falling apart due to the events of the night. Eyes like the dark side of the moon.

He leaned down.

You could feel his breath against yours. Alcoholic, but somehow not unpleasant. It mixed with his sharp, clean cologne and the leather of his jacket. You saw his eyes flicker. He was really staring deeply into your eyes. He was as handsome as everyone said he was. You tilted your head at him.

Guys like him were always looking for a target. A puzzle to solve. The harder and more difficult it was, the better the thrill. That’s how it was and that’s how Jeon Jungkook was. So, you stood there. Waiting for him to do it.

Thing was, Jungkook wasn’t doing anything.

He finally backed off; expression unreadable. You pulled your hand out of his.

“Let’s go on a walk. I have to sober up.”

You looked from the house to him. He cocked his head. You two began to walk, stepping into the moonlight. Not touching each other, but walking side by side. The silence was deafening. He wasn’t speaking to you. Not even looking at you. You placed your earbuds into your ear and put on some violin music.

“What are you listening to?”

You jumped, surprised he noticed. Jungkook tilted his head at you. You handed him one of the Samsung buds. He placed it in his ear, tucking his hair back. Profile illuminated by the moon, nodded slowly at he listened.

And then you two walked, serenaded by violins.

-

Jungkook texted you and showed up in the library again. You were in the middle of writing your seminar research paper. To be honest, he was a welcome distraction. The scientific articles were giving you a headache.

He handed you a piece of dried mango before speaking.

“Let’s date.”

You blinked at him. Jungkook grabbed a seat and sat down, taking out a slice himself. You placed the piece of dried mango in your mouth and chewed slowly. He watched you the entire time, chewing with you, staring at your lips. You swallowed, sighing.

"Jungkook, you don't want to date me."

He nibbled at another piece of dried mango. "Pretty sure I do."

You took in a deep breath, feeling the annoyance rise in your chest. "Your body is the literal reincarnation of Adonis himself and you radiate bad boy vibes like nobody's business. You would ruin your image by dating the strange girl with a dried mango obsession."

Jungkook chewed slowly. "That's the first time your tone has changed with me."

You froze, realizing that too. Realizing that, for once, you were actually irate instead of being objective or apathetic about it. You were not making an ambiguous comment or philosophizing humanity. You were just stating what you were thinking straight up.

"And, anyway, you're the literal reincarnation of sex goddess Aphrodite herself, so there should be no problem if you're worried about looks."

"That's not..." You cut yourself off, not bothering to correct him. "You can barely see my body."

Jungkook's eyes traveled down to your legs. Your black pantyhose-covered legs, with your short red skirt and black hoodie. He reached out and grabbed your hand. You tried to pull away, but his grip was like iron. 

"True, your skin is always covered," he mumbled.

Then Jungkook pressed your hand into his crotch. 

Your eyes widened, feeling his semi-hard length in his jeans. He let go of your hand and you recoiled as if burned. Did he really just–?

He gnawed thoughtfully. "And yet every time I hear your voice, that happens to me."

You narrowed your eyes at him. "Sexual attraction is not a solid foundation to a relationship."

"It's not," Jungkook agreed, grabbing another piece of dried mango. Then his eyes flickered to you, dark and serious. "I just didn't like how you dismissed my physical attraction to you so easily." He went back to nibbling. 

You looked away; ears hot. "In the end, all you want is to boast that you fucked me."

"That was my original intent, yes." You snapped your head back, furrowing your brows. Jungkook inspected the dried fruit, licking some sugar off. Your stomach flipped a little as you watched his pink tongue. "But now I want to take you on dates, hold your hand, and make you eat real meals that aren't only composed of candied mango."

You looked down at your lap. "I'm not a hand-holding kind of girl."

"Then I'll hold your ass."

A muscle in your eyebrow twitched. You glared at him, but he was smiling, popping the mango in his mouth. 

"One date. And then we'll see how it goes."

You closed your eyes. Inhaled deeply. You could say no. You could refuse and tell him to leave you alone and never speak to him again. You could and maybe you should. Because once he knew... he would know. You chewed on your lip. Fear was an understatement. And you were afraid because you knew the truth. If there was a flame between you two, the truth would likely snuff it out. 

Was that better or worse than you smothering it yourself?

"Before we go on a date," you said quietly but firmly. "I need to show you something."

-

“Okay. What is it that you have to show me?”

You were standing in Jeon Jungkook’s apartment. Different day, different clothes. He was wearing a loose leather jacket, white shirt, and distressed acid-wash jeans. He stuck his hands in his pockets. Black hair slicked back as usual, sculpted dark brows framing intense brown eyes. Even though he was dressed like a delinquent, his apartment was well-kept and clean. It was one of the student apartment complexes, decently expensive, segregated for men and women. Not that it mattered, since you were obviously standing there right now.

You were wearing your black turtleneck and flared black miniskirt. But instead of your usual opaque pantyhose, you were wearing black thigh-high socks. They made you very uncomfortable and not because Jungkook was staring at the sliver of exposed flesh. To be honest, you couldn’t care less if he was staring or not.

You chewed on you lip, clutching your messenger bag.

You really wondered if you should show Jungkook. Your thumb ran over your nails. Painted royal blue with raindrop crystals. You asked Hoseok to do them for you this time. He was excited to pick a design and style for you. Asked you what it was for and you said you just felt like it.

Hoseok was very happy to hear that.

Jungkook seemed to sense your unease.

“Are you okay?” he asked gently. “Do you want a piece of man–”

You shook your head furiously. Just do it. Do it and maybe he’ll leave you alone. Do it and he’ll understand this is a bad, bad idea.

You took a deep breath and bent at the waist. Then you yanked down both your thigh-highs, all the way to your ankles.

Jungkook gasped sharply.

You stared down at your legs. At the knife scars, mostly on your calves. Some white and thin, but there were a few big dark ones, knotted and twisted from the skin trying to grow back evenly but failing. Your legs were quite pale too. They never saw the sun.

You hated looking at them. They reminded you of why you had nightmares.

“What… happened?”

You didn’t look at him. His normally smooth, suave voice was trembling. Confused.

You sucked in your lips and clicked your tongue.

“My father was not a nice man. I was an only daughter and he was not happy about it. Perhaps he was never happy about life to begin with. He reminded my mother and me about it constantly.” You straightened, still not looking at Jungkook, but no longer wanting to look at yourself either. “He beat us up a lot. At the time, I really thought that was how it was. Men lost their temper sometimes. Happens. What else am I supposed to think?” You shrugged. “But it was always slapping around, the occasional punch. Not that bad, perhaps.”

You had to remember to breathe. Breathe.

“But when I was twelve, thirteen, it got worse. I don’t know if it was because my mom was slowly fighting back or if work became more stressful and he acted out, but the reason doesn’t matter. He simply got worse. Things thrown at us. Years of insults made them cut deeper, harder. He pulled a knife on me, when I was home alone and my mom was at work.”

You had to swallow hard, trying not to go back there. Trying not to get too detailed, because the nightmares already did that for you. You pulled up your sleeves. There were a few unpleasant scars there too, but nowhere near as bad to your legs.

“Anyway,” you continued. “I think he thought I was bleeding out or dead. My mom, feeling that something was off, decided to come home early. I don’t think I would be alive if she hadn’t thought to do that.” You inhaled deeply, pausing for a moment before continuing. “My father took his car and drove to the other side of town. Drove to a deserted area and ended his own life with the knife he cut me up with. I don’t know if it was guilt or fear of being exposed. But it doesn’t matter. I went to the hospital and stayed there for a long, long time. Not because of the cuts or almost bleeding out, but because I had to talk to a lot of psychologists. A lot of counselors.”

You reached into your bag and pulled out the pack of dried mango. “My mom would buy me these. She couldn’t visit often. She had to sell the house and work overseas to pay all the medical bills. Maybe she has a hard time seeing me too.”

You chewed on your lip, shoving it back into your bag.

“I look more like my father, unfortunately. And, even though I understand what has happened to me, I can’t escape it. I see it every day in the mirror. I am reminded all the time. I can’t talk to people unless I’m eating dried mango. It’s a stupid tick, but my therapist told me once that it was better than cocaine, so, whatever, right?”

You chuckled darkly, feeling empty.

“And I have nightmares. They don’t go away. When I take medication, it gets worse, so I don’t try anymore.”

You kept your eyes on the wall, still not looking at him.

“You’re handsome, Jungkook. Handsome, decently smart, could clean up well,” you said, still gnawing on your lip. “I’m not pretty like the other girls you hang around with. I don’t get to wear what I want because I don’t want to be asked what is wrong with my skin. Sometimes, I wake up screaming, remembering everything that happened that night. I eat way too much dried mango and speak like a fucking robot.” You closed your eyes and sucked in a shuddering breath. “I spend a lot of time trying to not feel anything. I’m not okay. You shouldn’t date someone like me.”

Silence.

Ten seconds past.

Then, the creak of leather. You suddenly felt his presence right in front of you. Strong arms wrapped around you, holding you tight. The sharp, clean scent of his cologne, the thinness of the white shirt revealing his toned torso. Well, the reaction wasn’t disgust. Maybe it was pity and that was worse. You did not want a pity fuck.

“At the risk of something insensitive,” Jungkook murmured quietly into your hair. “Your battle scars are really fucking cool.”

… What?

You laughed.

You laughed, because, what? That wasn’t a reaction you expected. Your laugh was raspy and kind of gross, considering you hadn’t laughed like that in years. But you laughed into Jungkook’s chest, laughed because it was ridiculous, laughed because it was a little insensitive, laughed because you didn’t care. No one who knew about your scars ever said anything like that. Everyone else was very serious and solemn, pity in their eyes as you explained.

Jungkook buried his face into your hair. You could feel his smile.

“Your laugh is cute.”

You wheezed, shaking your head a little. “It isn’t. I didn’t even know I could laugh,” you choked out weakly, breathless.

You felt him kiss the top of your head. You froze, a shiver running through you.

“You know,” Jungkook murmured. “I was really nervous in the library when I was asking you out.”

You didn’t reply. Couldn’t breathe, really.

“I found myself continuously eating that mango. I think you rubbed off on me.”

You remembered. And then you realized.

“You only ate one piece though,” he muttered. “It made me even more nervous, honestly. I just kept eating to keep my mind off it.”

Was this… was this the first time you had an entire conversation with Jeon Jungkook without eating mango at one point?

The only person you weren’t like that with was Hoseok, and that was because he was your oldest friend. The only friend who knew it all, who witnessed your bruises and tear-stained cheeks. The only friend who saw you in hospital gowns and did his best to cheer you up. Drawing pictures with you, making bracelets. Telling you that it was going to be okay, that he was going to be your daily dose of sunshine, your hope, never getting discouraged. There weren’t romantic feelings between you two, but there was love, and you were eternally grateful that Hoseok never gave up on you.

Jeon Jungkook?

He was just the annoying kid who kept trying to copy your Chemistry homework.

“You’re… not that bad at Chemistry, are you?”

Jungkook chuckled. “Nah. I always do the homework. I just wanted to annoy you.”

“You are, indeed, very annoying.”

You two stood there, Jungkook hugging you, your thigh-highs at your ankles, clutching your bag. To be honest, you thought it would have been a lot weirder. But somehow, it was kind of nice. You were okay with it.

“Where do you want to go on our date?” Jungkook suddenly piped up.

You spoke into his chest. “We’re still going on a date?”

He hugged you tighter. “Yeah, of course.”

You were pressed against his body, held so close that your ribs felt like they were being crushed.

“Jungkook.”

“Hm?”

“Something is poking me.”

“… Please ignore him. He doesn’t know time and place.”

A few silent seconds passed.

“I mean, maybe you needed some reassurance that I still think you’re fine as hell.”

“He’s getting bigger.”

“I told you to ignore him.”

-

3.

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