#OKAY I LIKE THE LIZARD BOYS

[claudemblems]

"Stop simping for reptiles!!!"

Kat:

Let me live in PEACE

[boxwinebaddie]

oh my god so i just saw this picture of froy guitterez with a bearded dragon and i fear i am going to have to give clyde a bearded dragon. i'm not sure how he got her, ( prolly by doing something extremely impulsive, dumb and unhinged ), but he snuck her into him and tolkien's dorm room and was like "okay! so don't get mad BUT--"

...he was Mad, btw. but rm!tolkien doesn't scream because he is a dignified british king ( the only one i respect ) and just speaks at a slightly louder volume and does things with his eyebrows like "Why. Do. You. Have. A. LIZARD. Clyde?" and he's like "okay, first of all, she's not JUST a lizard; she's a Bearded Dragon and her name is-" idk what her name is it's probably something insane like glizzy or salamanda or mary guana, i want to start crying, oh my god. clyde loves reptiles.

and tolkien is like "right...so does 'glizzy' have a cage? food?...water?" and clyde is just staring at him blankly like, "damn. i didn't think about that." KHSSDLKSDH HELP so they go to a lil pet store, i think they figure out a clever way to keep her warm and make her a strange makeshift enclosure. tldr, she gets all set up...except they have to Hide her ( also prolly in some elaborate way ) bc they're not supposed to have pets in the dorms and at first, tolkien was so Anti-Glizzy, like he made clyde put up lost lizard ads online/stuff on craigslist...

...buUUUUt accidentally got attached to her and secretly took the all listings down. anyways, happy pride month ft. rm!tyde co-parenting a lizard daughter together. the world is a beautiful place, in fact. <3

[woosh-floosh]

One minute of periodical cicada ambiance to study/sleep to

[mirkwood-trash]

LMAOOOOO NIGHTTIME DAN IS FEMALE WHAT A PLOT TWIST

[petrodragonicapocalypse]

me when i see a photo of my favourite 7-piece australian psychedelic rock band and it feels like one of them is missing but i can't for the life of me remember who it is

[nachosncheezies]

Wait wait wait

Disney has added a CANON 'Jacen'????

Dude.

[puppys-rhythm-heaven]

jokes about quiz show being bad are honestly made even funnier to me by the fact that they're true-

[harzilla]

Okay. I was thinking the lost sibling AU.

Except one of the twst boys is in love with you or you're already dating.

Dating Leona only to find out you're Malleus' twin? Well shit, does he love you enough that he can tolerate you being the Lizard's sibling? Well actually it might not be to bad you're technically royalty so it would make integrating you into the royal family a lot easier so hey, congrats you're helping create a stronger alliance between the Sunset Savanna and Briar Valley. At least Malleus gets upgraded from Lizard to Lizard-in-law.

Dating Malleus and it turns out you're Azul's sibling? You know the gears are already turning in Azul's head. Isn't he such a caring brother? He might finally get the opportunity to make a deal with a ruler. Why of course he wouldn't try to scam his future brother-in-law. Please smack him with a tentacle or two if he tries anything funny.

Dating Sebek and you're actually Malleus' twin. Oh God Sebek is going to fluctuate between feeling like he's not worthy to be the s/o of his waka-sama's twin too, of course he has excellent tastes in a partner he just knew you were truly special before anybody else! Please shut your crocodile up he won't stop yapping about you and Malleus to EVERYBODY.

Dating Ruggie and finding out you're Leona's sibling? Congrats you're never getting rid of Ruggie now not only does he love you but you'll be his ticket to never being poor again. He's gonna be such a smug lil jerk when he goes back home. His granny is going to beat him with a sandal if he messes this up.

Dating Riddle, only to find out you're actually the sibling of Floyd and Jade? Poor Riddle, he's going to be weighing if it's worth being the future brother-in-law to Floyd. Lord help Mrs. Rosehearts if she ever meets her child's in-laws because oh, they've heard how she treated Riddle and they WILL be out for blood if she tries it with you.

Dating Jamil only to find out you're actually one of Kalim's sibling? Jamil's got a headache coming on until you point out if you get married he could technically take your name and oh look, he can finally get that vacation via a year long honeymoon.

[frankenstein-ate-my-left-shoe]

@steddie-spooktober day 3: apples | rated: G | wc: 998

“Wow, he’s really good at that.” Robin remarks as Eddie sloshes back up out of the bucket with yet another apple caught in his grin, “Who'da thunk, huh?”

“Yeah…” Steve breathes, watching Eddie’s hair drip down over his forehead and down his neck, “He’s really good with his mouth.”

Robin chokes on her most recent swig of cider, “I’m sorry, what?!”

“Uh…” Steve feels his face turn hot, “Huh? I didn’t say anything.” He moves to turn away back into the Hoppers’ cabin, an excuse of the bathroom or a new mug of cider ready behind his teeth and Robin on his heels

“Oh no you don’t; you explain yourself this instant Steven Marie Harrington!” She demands, voice much louder than he’d like it to be, “What did you just say about Eddie Munson’s mouth??”

“Nothing that anyone—especially the Eddie in question—needs to hear! Quiet down!” He whispers in a harried tone.

He pulls her into Hopper’s tiny bathroom, snapping the door shut behind him.

“You have a crush on Eddie Munson?! Our Eddie Munson?”

Steve leans back against the door and sighs, letting himself sink to the floor. “Still too loud.” he says, not actually meaning it.

She must’ve been able to tell that he’s trying to stall, so she sinks onto the shallow edge of the tub to wait. One of her knees knocks against the bowl of the toilet, the other against the wall.

“I think I have for a little while now. Since spring break at least.” he confesses, now that he’s in the proper position to do so, here on the bathroom floor.

“You found time to get your first crush on a guy since figuring out you’re bi, and it’s during yet another upside-down related catastrophe.” Robin states rather than asks. “You’re something else, Dingus.”

“Gee, thanks for your support.”

“You have it always, obviously,” she waves him off, “Just surprised that the first I’m hearing about it is when your horny lizard brain tells me for you.”

“It’s been getting really annoying lately.”

“What, having a big gay crush on someone? I feel you.”

“No, lizard brain is being really annoying lately. But yeah, also that.”

Steve’s gaze is stuck on the slightly mis-matched piece of linoleum between his feet, but sees Robin nod her head in his periphery.

Neither say anything for a solid 45 seconds, until: “So what are you going to do about it?”

“Something… eventually… maybe…” he hedges, “Just ‘cause he’s into guys too doesn’t mean he’s into me.”

“Oh yeah, of course he isn’t.”

He rolls his eyes at the sarcasm. “I’m being serious Robin.”

“Me too.”

Steve finally looks up at her.

“Don’t give me that look, I’m being serious about my sarcasm, Steven. Of course Eddie’s into you; you saw how he was flirting with you during the whole Vecna fiasco!” Robin flails her arm around in emphasis, “How he’s been flirting with you ever since.”

“What if that’s not just for me though, he’s annoyingly charming to everyone!”

“He may be charming,” She grimaces (“Hey!”), “But that doesn’t mean he’s out here flirting with anyone!”

“He just feels comfortable with me.”

“Everyone our age knows about Eddie, Steve, and he’s still been his same dorky self with all them. You’re the only one he’s been flirting with nonstop.”

Steve opens his mouth to respond, but closes it again. 

Damn, she’s got a point.

Eddie never calls Jonathan ‘sweetheart’, or Argyle ‘big boy’... he’s heard him say once that Hopper was his first crush when he’d had one too many drinks, but she’s right.. Eddie’s only flirty with him.

Steve suddenly feels all swoopy inside. And it must show on his face somehow, because Robin says “Ew gross, you’re thinking about him aren’t you?”

“No, I’m thinking about Hopper– of course I’m thinking about him!” Steve grins, then pushes him up off the floor. “Okay, okay, I just have to make it through the rest of the day, and I’ll ask him out tomorrow when he comes in to bother us for a free rental at work.”

He looks down at Robin, searching her face for any sign that it isn’t a good plan.

She nods, “Good. Now where are you going to take him?”

The answer to that one was simple, “Movie date at my place.”

Robin snorts, “A bit presumptuous, eh Stevie?”

The floaty feeling in his gut turns into a boulder, “I mean— That’s not what— Obviously I’d love it to—” he cuts himself off for the last time at the smirk on her face. “Oh fuck you.” He shakes his head in fond exasperation as he turns, heading back out of the bathroom.

Robin’s teasing him still when the back door opens and Eddie waltzes in, the round, decorative basket Joyce had been using to put all the apples people fished out of the barrel in his arms and a(nother? The same?) apple lodged in his teeth.

He spots them and puts the basket down on the island, spinning dramatically to lean onto the tabletop to face them.

His hand comes up to grab onto the apple, snapping off a bite and sucking away the juice as he takes it away from his mouth, “Hey Stevie, Birdie,” he says over a mouthful of crunching fruit.

Steve blinks once, then turns to Robin, “I’m not going to survive 'till tomorrow.”

Before she or Eddie can react, Steve is striding across the room and pulling his sodden friend to him in a tart, apple-flavored kiss.

Robin says something about being lookout, but Steve’s too busy feeling Eddie’s mouth on his.

Until Eddie pulls back that is.

“Shit– Eddie, I’m so sorry, I—” Steve stops when Eddie’s finger comes up between them.

Eddie chews once, twice, a third, then swallows down the rest of his bite.

Ah.

“Okay,” Eddie breathes once his mouth is clear. “Now, where were we?” He tosses the apple over his shoulder and descends upon Steve once again.

divider from @saradika-graphics!

[elizzsush]

“Fuck you Comic Con nerds!” | DC - Batman WIP

Batfam X Isekaied Reader

— in which you, a DC fan gets isekaied into and gets saved by boy wonder. Only to get mad at him and B… it’s only after you calm down (still mad at them) you piece together what actually happened… but should you tell them?

AU: Soulmate (?), isekai Rating: Sfw

Note: You and Damien are the same age and shit. I don’t really remember how old he is but for the sake of fanfiction let’s age him up to 18 (or down I looked it up and it said he was 37? I have no idea where that info was from comic are confusing)

Warning: Y/N swears a lot and makes a like one sexual joke? _________________________________

One minute you were in the greatest, most magical place in the world: Six flags. And the next you were in the sewer. To say you were pissed and totally confused was an understatement. Those funnel cakes by the entrance were calling your name- you were gonna get one before you left! Now instead of that sweet cake smell it was replaced with the smell of shit and piss and whatever else lived in the sewer.

Sixflags was suppose to be relaxing- doctors orders. You just needed to relax and distract from-

You were in the sewers. You dreaded to think about what you may have stepped in while on your quest to find a manhole cover.

So yes, you looked like an idiot in a Superman cape carrying a Wayne enterprises mug wondering around the sewers. The mug was half off and made you feel like you existed in the world of DC instead of the regular merchandise… and the cape was because who doesn’t get a cape when they go to six flags? Or at least bring the cape they already bought with them. Looking back, you blamed the mug. Anyway, you were wandering around this horrible sewer with water greener then green. It seriously looked toxic… when you heard this horrible roar…

You glanced back from where you came- looking towards the sound, when you heard it again. So, like any sane person. You broke out into a sprint.

Bad ideas, because it heard you and was coming closer now.

You seriously doubted you would be able to outrun this thing for long. It was getting closer and rapidly. But, thankfully, luck was on your side- because you saw a manhole cover!

Climbing the ladder you pushed the thing open-

Only to almost get ran over by a fucking car! “Watch it!” You cursed at the speeding car, a certain finger proudly in the air as you climb out. Momentarily forgetting about the creature that was chasing you. Remember that you slammed the man hole cover shut in a hurry.

But, did you think you could compete with some monster when it comes to the battle of strength? Yeah, didn’t think so either. It blasted the manhole cover off of its neat little spot and you hurry back and away from the road. “What the- oh my god.” You breath in relief when the thing was too big to actually climb out of the sewers. “Killer croc… okay… I’m losing it… whatever it is…” you try and breath out to collect yourself but you were interrupted by the sound of a very angry lizard man… thing. Crocodile? “Okay fuck off!” You shouted angrily at the villain and rip your cap off. “Abusive aunts or some shit is hard but by god your annoying!” You huff and run away because that just made him more angry and you didn’t want to stick around for that.

You did run away while waving two fingers at him, each from the middle of two of your hands but that was neither here nor there. You just needed to walk away and clear your head-

And…

You bumped into someone on your little escape. A chest of a fucking cosplayer. “My day couldn’t be going worse- oh my god, Fuck you Comic Con nerds!” You swore at the boy in black, red and green. “Six flags was suppose to be fucking relaxing!” You swore at him and turned away to go the opposite way only to bare witness to the snarls of a certain croc

“get back here!” He made the fucking ground shake.

“Fuck you and your shitty Damien cosplay, I am out of here.” You turn and ran from him only he to met with the silhouette of a bat… man, it was fucking Batman. “Oh I wonder who it is? Bruce Wayne, no fucking duh, Go fight the idiot on acid and leave me out of it.” You hissed because you were cornered. You tend to lash out when your cornered. He approached you quieter now. “…Oh um, I’ll take the crocodile, thanks.” You spoke as you backed up only for him to make the ground shake harder-

“Fine! Boy wonder then god damn. At least he’s hot!”

“How do You know our names?” Boy wonder piped up. He was suddenly standing beside you.

“Are You dense or really into role play?” You hissed at them. “I don’t know what kind of budget your little prank crew is working with but screw off!” Just then the crocadile managed to ruin the ground around him and break free- resulting in Batman and Robin to fight him and you-

The sane one to run away, “I’m so suing six flags for this- didn’t sign up for their fucking role-play shit.”

—————————————

Okay, so after adjusting. You were no longer in six flags- nor some rich nerds cosplay special effects whatever. Hell you didn’t even somehow end up on a movie set shooting for the next Batman. “Gotham more like god dammit, right?” You joked to yourself, and the old women next to you. She just looked at you weirded out and oddly disappointed before shaking her head. “Okay, Fuck me then.”

So, yeah, you were feeling a lot of emotions. Hey, you can adjust to this! Because no way in hell was getting back to your world worth being involved in whatever episode or comic plot this whole thing was. Yeah no, fuck that. You made a checklist.

1. Get out of Gotham (metropolis was lovely, Superman was cool-)

2. Get enough money to fuck off to some corner of the world no one knew about.

And finally 3. Live peacefully knowing you’ll never get that funnel cake.

The only problem? You didn’t have any money, food, shelter, phone, money again, or anything besides the clothes on your back. And you were craving funnel cake. Yes, you were poor in Gotham. That was basically a death sentence.

At least you had a mug. A stupid, useless mug. Hey, at least you can beg for change with it! “I should rob people.” You mutter to yourself because, that seemed like a good easy way to get money- the old women next to you however eyed you warily and moved her purse. “Not you, we’re cool Margaret.” You sent her a wave and a wink and got up. This plan would work.

It was this or sell the Justice leagues names to villains. Which- hey that could make cash and make you dead!

—————————————

Despite what people will tell you, stealing is fun.

Who would have guessed- your a natural pick pocket! If pick pocketing was running past women and tugging their bags away. “My bag! My purse!” Okay, maybe you had a bit of a sick sense of humor but you were desperate! And you made 132 dollars and 25 cents. Had it been two days? Yes, had you been pepper sprayed twice? Yes again, but you avoided it!

The only regret you had? Why hadn’t it been marvel? Marvel just seemed easier to live in. Yes the world did end but it bounced back! You sighed and threw a penny in the air. You were honestly tired. Two days was a long time to go without a bed. You couldn’t get a job either, you tired and needed so much to prove you were a serial killer or a thief- which included a birth certificate you didn’t have and so much more. Background checks would be the death of you. Even at that small cafe you met Margret? Yeah it was Margret. “Well we’ll well, if it isn’t Gotham’s newest petty criminal.”

You dropped your penny. Leaving you with 24 cents.

It was Jason fucking Todd.

“If I die, at least make it by those thighs.” You said solemnly, accepting your death. “I mean seriously, you squat or something?” You did a wolf whistle and now you were being detained. Okay, you tried.

You never claimed to be better then a man. And if you did you lied.

“I got her B.”

.

.

.

.

“Banananannaan Batman! Da Na!” You sang as Batman’s Batmobile pulled into the bat cave. The same one you had been dragged too. “He’s the crime fighting vigilantes who works alone! Besides Robin, Nightwing, Gordon, the Justice League, batgirl, Red Robin, red hood, Oracle, Barbra, um… I know theirs more help me out jay bird?” You sang as he excited the car. “He refuses to kill the joker who’s a mass murder ands death would save thousands! It’s Batman! The hero man! Danananana!”

“How do You know?” Batman asked as he walked towards you.

“The Song? Oh I improvised. Hard to find rhymes for Batman, hero man is pretty good though, huh?” He fucking punched you! “Fuck! What the hell dude? Wait are you the angry Batman who’s quieter or the nice Batman- god it’s so hard to know which one I ended up with.”

“This is serious.” Dick Said as he grabbed Batman hand and pulled him away from you.

“Heard of coping? penis?” You rolled your eyes, “this is kinda how I do it.”

“You sold our information, or Superman’s information too a villain. Tell us why and how you knew it and we’ll let you go.” He continued, “our friend is in serious danger now because of you.” He gritted his teeth looking upset.

You just rolled your eyes and licked your now bloody teeth. “Would have sold your guys information for a lot more then I got on me. Living large with eight dogs- maybe cats? Don’t know how I feel about animals actually. Which do you prefer dogs or cats?”

“We need to know how many villains you sold us out too.” Dick said calmly, his face getting closer to your own. “Now.”

You smile and lean closer to him. “You free after this?” He backed away with a frustrated look and Batman put his hand on Dick shoulder. “Oh B is tapping in now- great!”

“Your the only person who knows who we are.” Another voice said you looked behind you and saw Damien.

“That you don’t trust. Maybe check your inner circles before punching a poor thief! God… you’d think the world greatest detective would fact check- oh wait isn’t the greatest a chimp or something? I’ve always loved monkeys- oh maybe I’d get a monkey for my pent house.”

“You have no family, no friends, no birth certificate- before last week you didn’t exist. There are no records of you being born or traveling to Gotham. Who exactly are you?” Batman leaned close to you.

You stayed silent, thinking of your options. "I was with a traveling circus..." You began, "Then one day someone rigged the equipment for my parent's routine and then batman adopted me, and that was how I began robin..." You spoke solemnly, you noticed how a certain blue suited bird man tensed up. "Aw, don't tell me we have the same backstory!" You accused the Nighwing, "well one of us is going to have to change it and I hate to tell you, but I make it work."

"She knows more about us than our names... or at least more about Nighwing." You heard a robin mutter, the red one.

"Okay being red was his thing” you look at red hood, “and you took it, so you have no place to talk about me and penis's copycat situation- Even though I totally did it first and he should change it." You nudged your head towards Red Hood, "Kinda like how you took his role as Robin, but you know what Ima stay away from that can of worms haha." You laughed awkwardly as Jason stood up from behind you and walked towards you menacingly.

"This is a Major Turn Off for me you know? The costumes just don’t do it- maybe if you strip-“ and your mouth was tapped shut.

_____________________________________NOTE: Y/N is supposed to be Deadpool coded because I was watching Deadpool and laughing my ass off earlier.

[velnna]

Hi ! How are you ?

I have a question: what are the love body languages of Astarion and Staeve ? (like how they show their affection, how they flirt ...)

N.B: I really enjoy your art style !

Thank you!

I don't have a straightforward answer for that but I can say Staeve in general is a very outwardly affectionate person when he gets the room for it. He'll hug, hold, kiss, nuzzle or just lean against people he cares about if they're okay with it. He's also very vocal and used to rolling with punches so he'll say the cheesiest things both as a quip and with full honesty if he sees the opportunity. There's no such thing as stressing how much he cares about someone enough

So then the rest comes down to Astarion reacting to it. Just allowing Staeve into his personal space is already a way of letting him know he matters. I reckon he'd eventually warm up (eyy) to touching, holding and being held, etc, and for his part Staeve would learn to recognise and respect the times he's not up for it. I see them being obnoxiously cuddly at times, if nothing else for the way my brain converts them into cats. Staeve looks like he's a furnace so I imagine cold blooded Astarion would lay on him like a lizard on a sun-kissed rock

And then I suppose he'd verbalise his affection too, less often but meaningfully. Most of the time he'd just throw retorts back at Staeve but again, my boy's smart enough to learn when they're a sign of actual annoyance or just their usual dynamic. All that 16 INT is allocated into figuring Astarion out

Oh and Staeve would also be heavy on gifting and sharing shit. Anything he found interesting or fitting would be promptly snatched and proudly left at Astarion's doorstep, possibly followed by extensive rambling about said object

Thanks for coming to my TED talk

[dcxdpdabbles]

Cave Boy Danny calls Batman’s costume uncool and the bats lose their minds over it. Also Alfred would totally spoil him in nostalgia. (Maybe by making the batfam let Danny out of the cage…?)

Danny tries his best not to stare at his perceived counterpart or any of the children, convinced he's their dad as a kid. He's not doing an excellent job of it, though, seeing as his eyes flickered around the room against his will.

It's almost as if the more he tries not to stare, the more he glances. It's so weird that Bruce looks precisely what he imagines Dan Phantom would have looked like if he had a human side. Knowing that Bruce and Dan look alike does not settle his nerves.

It makes him feel even more weary of the older man.

He was curious to know if they were the same person because he had made up the name Bruce on the spot since it was the most boring name Danny could think of. Yet, the DNA results showed they were the same person, not due to cloning. He knew what clones' DNA looked like from personal experience.

Especially since Bruce- why did it have to be such a boring, stupid name? Why couldn't he still be named Danny? His own clone kept his name for Pete's sake!- was sending out major Fruitloop vibes.

Not only was he rich with a secret lab underneath his house and dressed in a weird bat costume, but oh no, Bruce ate pizza with a fork and a knife.

Danny's eyes flicker over to the man just as he cuts another piece of his pepperoni pizza without a single movement wasted. He doesn't even look like he's doing it as a joke- no, the man is regal, dabbing his mouth with a napkin every third bite.

What a freak. Danny thinks, folding his pizza slice in half so he can stuff most of it in his mouth in one giant bite. Two of the teenagers gasped as though they just witnessed a natural disaster.

"Philistine." Damian- his counterpart's youngest- hisses. He's glaring at Danny, obviously trying to insult him, but Danny has dealt with bullies all his life. The kid is far too polite in his insults. Damian wouldn't last a day in public schools' playgrounds, that's for sure.

Danny looks him dead in the eye, still chewing, eyes wide and earnest, and responds with a cheerful "Gesundheit."

Damian's face clouds over in disgust. "Do you even know what that means?"

"Philistine is an uncultured person who is hostile or indifferent to the arts." Danny recites without missing a beat. He gives the other boy a pitying frown. "If you don't know the definitions of words, maybe you shouldn't use them. Might get you in trouble one day"

Damian throws a knife at him with a cry of outrage. Danny is not ready for said knife, but his ghost reflections have him moving to the right just in time for the blade to miss his head and impale itself on the back chair of his seat.

It does, however, nick his neck a little. Danny lets out what he hopes is an appropriate scream in response to the pain. He doesn't want them to know about his real name, much less his powers, but it's hard to have proper reaction times when he could already feel his healing ability numb the pain seconds after it happens.

It felt like a small prick of a sticker while walking barefooted in the grass- quick and sharp but over quickly.

Danny blinks at the table for a solid three seconds, before tilting his head as far back as it could go in his seat and letting out an even monotone cry of "aahhhhhhhhhh!"

He wishes he was better under pressure because it felt like he was attempting to impersonate a toad.

"Young Master Bruce!" Alfred- the butler that raised Bruce in their world? So his counter-parts foster dad?- cries out in alarm. He springs up from his seat, rounding the table to be at his side in seats. "My dear boy, are you alright? Does it hurt? Shall I bring the medical kit?"

Danny stops his monotone cry to blink up at the man. "I'm okay. I'm just dramatic."

Alfred's face spams before it settles in a nostalgic, fond expression. "Oh, the memories."

"Leaping Lizards, Batman," Tim whispers, gripping his fork so hard it's bending. He has a manic glint in his eye, with a smile so wide it's splitting his face in two. "Is this what Bruce was like at our age?"

"Yes, Master Bruce did have a very similar personality to our guest".

"I thought Ollie was kidding when he said Bruce was the weirdest kid in school," Dick speaks up, his face reflecting massive glee. "Does this mean it's also true he would tell people he would date them if they could beat him in a fight?"

"Yes. Alfred told me that was the only way I would be allowed to date before eighteen," Bruce speaks up, a hint of a blush appearing on his cheekbones. "I was in a lot of fights."

Alfred laughs, looking far too grandfatherly when he nods. "I would get a call from Gotham Acadamy almost every other day because Master Bruce had fought off would-be suitors. It's why no one bats an eye at his play-boy persona."

"You know what," Jason speaks up, looking thoughtful. "This explains everything about your love life, to be honest."

"Oh, so when you beat up annoying guys hitting on you, it's okay, but when I do it, it's unfair since I have training," Steph complains, making air quotes on the word training.

Bruce frowns at her. "When I was a teenager, I didn't have any of my Bat training, just what Alfred taught me."

"Alfred, the ex-British Secret Service, bulter." She counters.

"Alfred, the ex-medic in the Royal Air Force, bulter," Duke cuts in.

"Alfred, the ex-SAS Commander, Bulter," Dick tasks on with a smile

"Alfred, the ex-Spy Master for the Royal Crown, bulter," Cass cheerfully says.

"Ancients, those poor teenagers," Danny whispers, staring at Alfred in newfound respect and fear. "Did they even have a chance?"

"No, those riff-raff did not" Alfred smiles turning to the older version of Danny. "I do believe Master Bruce once threw Mr.Queen into a dumpster and left him there overnight?"

"I did. Oliver wouldn't accept no as an answer, so I put him in time-out." Bruce responds with a shrug. "If he hadn't been such a crybaby about the black eye, maybe I would have taken him up on his offer to see a movie."

Danny can't believe this. He points an accusing finger at Bruce with an unhinged look of confusion. "You had everyone falling over themselves in a world where bi-sexuality is common, mind you, and you choose to wear the lame-ass weird bat costume by choice? You chose to be uncool when you could have been in the It-Crowd!?"

The Wayne kids choked on their spit as Bruce gaped at him.

"Brucie, you are a riot!" Jason gasps, causing Danny to frown.

"Brucie?"

"Yeah, since there are two of you, I thought calling the smaller one Brucie would make it easier to tell you apart." Jason sighs wiping a tear out of his eye. Next to him, Dick is still howling with laughter.

Danny needs to keep calm and tell them he would not respond to the name Brucie. Instead, he panics and says, "I actually go by Brucie back home. I'm so surprised you know the nickname!"

He needs to get the fuck out of here.

[navybrat817]

Focus

Pairing: Motocross!Steve Rogers x Motocross!Female Reader Summary: You have a crush on Steve Rogers, but you don't think you're his type. Word Count: Over 1k Warnings: Crush, longing, slight insecurities, swearing, nicknames, Curtis is a good friend, Motocross!Steve Rogers (he's a warning, okay?) A/N: Finally an intro for Champ and Daisy in our Dialed In AU! Took me how long, @yenzys-lucky-charm ? Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Divider by the talented @saradika . Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated! ❤️

A 450 rider like Bucky with a lot of wins under his belt, Natasha was serious when she said Steve was one of the best riders in his class.

It was one of the reasons people called him “Champ”, a nickname he wasn’t overly fond of since some of the guys liked to tease him after races where he didn’t place first. It also gave him flashbacks of when he was younger and smaller, virtually ignored or told he wouldn’t excel in anything physically.

With a lot of heart and a late growth spurt, he proved them wrong.

Bucky said once that his nickname should be “Adonis” because of his now statuesque looks and the pit lizards fawning over him or “Golden Boy” because of his success and admiration.

Steve never let any of that get to his head and refused to let the pit lizards distract him. He worked hard to get where he was and continued to give it his all on and off the track every single time.

His determination was one of the many reasons you found yourself drawn to him. He was the kind of rider and person many aspired to be.

Your crush only grew the day you two actually met.

A rider yourself, you earned the nickname “Daisy” thanks to the flowers on your helmet and general sweet demeanor.

The helmet was the very thing Steve complimented you on when he walked by you at your first pro race.

You hadn’t meant to stare when he walked by, but his reputation preceeds him. Clad in red, white, and blue like a patriotic God, his blonde hair sparkled in the sunlight and his eyes looked like the sky on a cloudless day.

The sheer size of him almost made you whimper when he got closer. How a man was able to walk with such confidence and dominance yet still had an air about that said he was humble was a gift.

He even stopped to speak to a few kids who were eager to meet him and you couldn’t stop smiling when one little boy wrapped his arms around his legs in a tight hug.

Who wouldn’t fall for him?

You were certain you still had a dopey smile on your face when he looked your way.

“Beautiful.” The deep timbre of his voice sent a shiver down your spine when you realized he was speaking to you, which you tried to blame on pre-race jitters. “Your helmet. It’s beautiful,” he said when you didn’t reply.

You deflated slightly because of course he didn’t think you were beautiful. You were just a rider and not like the girls who flocked to him.

“Oh, thanks,” you croaked, clearing your throat immediately to try and save face. “I like daisies,” you added, mentally kicking yourself for stating the obvious. Why else would they be on your helmet?

The lopsided grin he gave you brought your smile back to your face. “You’re Daisy. Heard good things about you.”

Biting your lip and glancing away briefly, you didn’t catch his gaze following the movement. “You have?” You asked, slightly surprised that your name made the rounds.

“Yeah.” He nodded toward the track. “And I’m eager to see what you do out there.”

Your stomach did a somersault, but you held your head high. “I’ll try not to disappoint.”

“I doubt you could disappoint anyone,” he quietly spoke, looking over his shoulder when Bucky called out to him. “Gotta go. Good luck out there, Daisy.”

“Thanks, Champ,” you said, shifting back and forth on your feet when he stood up straight and flexed his gloved fingers. Maybe you shouldn’t have used his nickname. “I mean, Steve.”

You couldn’t read his expression, but you felt better when he gave you one more lopsided smile. “Champ sounds nice coming from you,” he said before he walked away.

You tried not to swoon or check out his ass when he went on his way, but Curtis clocked you immediately.

“You might wanna wipe that drool off your chin before your race,” he said, nudging you with his shoulder when you glanced at the ground. “Nervous? Don't be. You’re gonna kick ass out there.”

“Not nervous,” you said, biting your lip again. “He said he heard about me.”

“Yeah. Riders talk, you know that. And the guys saw you practice, so they know you have skills,” he said, sighing when you lifted your head and longingly stared after Steve. “Look, don’t let him distract you.”

“I’m not letting him distract me,” you argued, moving your helmet between your hands. “It’s just nice to get a compliment from such a skilled rider,” you said, especially since a lot of guys had a tendency to ignore you once they knew you loved to race.

Curtis narrowed his eyes. “I’m a skilled rider and I compliment you. I don’t see you walking around with hearts in your eyes and having a little crush on me.”

Your cheeks flamed before you hit his arm. “More like you bust my nonexistent balls. That’s not the same thing,” you said.

He didn’t move an inch when you hit him, the wall of muscle that he was. “Perk of being my friend,” he deadpanned, looking in the direction that Steve went, too. “I’m not one for gossip, but Champ is single.”

You put your helmet on so your friend couldn’t see your face. “Good to know, but I doubt I’m his type,” you said.

Because why would he like you?

“Rogers is a fucking idiot if he doesn’t want a girl like you,” he said sincerely before he hit your helmet with the palm of his hand, the familiar grumpy stare back on his face. “But enough of that shit. Get out there and win your fucking race.”

Which you did.

Steve's heart skipped a beat when you removed your helmet and smiled.

Because the truth was, you were exactly his type.

And he’d sweep you off your feet if you let him.

They're sweet, okay? Love and thanks for reading! ❤️

Masterlist ⚓ Steve Rogers Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

[elvestoneanzelote1]

Hello may I request a Platonic! Dazai x Mother! Reader.

Basically, Reader is Dazai’s biological mother, but of course he doesn’t know and grew up thinking he had no mother for the majority of his life, and Reader watched over him during his Mafia days, watching and protecting him in the shadows while putting up a front and working besides Hirotsu, who along with Mori knew they were related. So before and during the Dark Era, reader and Mori made a deal that if Dazai left the Mafia, she would be forced into isolation with no contact with the outside world, but if Dazai stayed, the reader would finally be able to speak with her son as a mother instead of a stranger. Obviously, Dazai left, and it wasn’t until the whole fiasco with Fyodor and the vampire outbreak that during the scene with Chuuya “shooting” Dazai in the head, he finally heard his mother’s voice of sorrow and anger shouting to Fyodor, “What have you done to my son?!”

(The ending is up to you and how Dazai reacts and if you write this as Yandere or not. P.S. I love your works and I am an absolute fan of your Zhongli/Albedo! Reader, Yandere BSD fic❤️)

𝙰:𝚗- 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚔 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚘 𝚖𝚞𝚌𝚑 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚝... 𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝙸 𝚍𝚘 𝚑𝚘𝚙𝚎 𝙸 𝚠𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚍𝚒𝚜𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙸 𝚖𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚎 𝚜𝚕𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚍𝚎𝚜𝚌𝚛𝚒𝚙𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚐𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚋𝚞𝚝.

𝙷𝚘𝚙𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚎𝚗𝚓𝚘𝚢.

𝙱𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝚘𝚗 𝚏𝚎𝚖!𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚡 𝚜𝚘𝚗 𝙳𝚊𝚣𝚊𝚒. (��𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚘𝚗𝚒𝚌).

𝙵𝚎𝚖!𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚡 𝚢𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝙼𝚘𝚛𝚒 𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚊𝚒

𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝙵𝚎𝚖! 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚡 𝙵𝚞����𝚞𝚣𝚊𝚠𝚊 𝚈𝚞𝚔𝚒𝚌𝚑i

Part 2

What was a mother like for him...? Dazai does not know.

He doesn't remember his parents much either... Perhaps abandoned him? Perhaps he is worth nothing in the eyes of his parents... Even his mother must be ashamed to birth him... Right?

Dazai always felt incomplete as he Stared the happy families which he... Wish he had too.

That was until, Mori brought him to Port mafia.

Perhaps he truly belongs to... Bloodshed?

Perhaps not...

But his heart melt when you came to his life.

You were apart of Black Lizards... Well not that much but some... Connected mission you does so.

You were about 35 or perhaps more then that?.

To be honest... You yourself was shocked to see your son in port mafia.

Even if you want to approach him... Ask how the father was... You knew somehow he... The father must have past away leaving... Dazai alone.

Don't get y/n wrong... She was a victim of Teenage pregnancy... The father offered her money to birth a boy for him to inherit his property as a refine man

As your parents left a huge debt onto your life you agreed.

But somehow... Dangle yourself with Hirotsu your... Friend... Perhaps? You can say that way even If he is older then you but.

He was the one offered you to join Port mafia.

Unaware of the fact Dazai have no one with him... To call a family...

Only through Him appeared with Mori had you realise your guilt.

You blame yourself not trying to find the fact if your son was okay.

Perhaps money does blinded your motherly nature.

But... All you can do was smile warmly at him.

Despite Kouyou who take upon you too... She respect you like an older sister and watch over Dazai for you too when you are out.

But... Perhaps that was a fault on your part to be attach with your son... Who doesn't realise your his mother.

Honestly you were very much concern when he ask you to suicide with him.

It was... Heartwrenching on your part.

But slow it was yet, you stay with Dazai... Like a mother... No to ease your guilt for leaving him almost 13 years of his life.

He was an just a baby a year old when you left him... You can't blame him if he forget you... As you are the fault here.

"L/n-san! Did you know what happen today?" Asked Dazai who happily sat beside you and side hug you as you gently smile at him.

"What happen today? Dazai?"

"Today I burn a farm! It was accident but thankfully those people which we need to kill are dead now"

"So you completed your mission?"

"Yep! And I eventually hurt my head!"

"Are you fine now? Shall we go to Boss?"

"Nope! Just kiss my forehead and it will be better!" Said Dazai as you chuckle slightly yet does so.

He oftens stays beside you laying his head on your lap as you let him sleep.

He felt close to you... Perhaps if he had a mother... If she is alive maybe... Will she care like you do? He often thought that way while letting himself cuddle to you.

As much as he hate sharing your warmness you also care for Akutgawa... Well leading him to take some... Steps which concern you.

Akutagawa start avoiding you afraid he will disappoint Dazai.

Your ability was not for fighting more likely telepathy. You can talk to people afar through telepathy if you wanted to and... The fact you read mind because of it.

𝙿𝚢𝚜𝚌𝚑𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚗: your ability name.

Perhaps that is the reason why 𝙼ori was fond of you... Short of way.

He knows Dazai is your son and you care a lot.

Despite him should not value much but for an tiny bit he kind of find peace been with you.

"Did you know, Y/n-chan"

"Hmm?" Your gentle e/c eyes side glance at Mori who hold onto Elise hands who on the other hand holds yours.

Afar it might look like a family but you aren't far from that thought.

"Some colleagues were wondering if we were married of sort before I... even became the boss you often stay around for me" said Mori as your gentle smile never wavered.

"Oh? But I do say, Boss you should get married unless you plan on dying single"

"Your indeed correct but I cannot find a women who is kind or tolerable for me"

"Are you searching for one?"

"Not really... Perhaps I already have someone on my mind" said Mori who stopped and faced you.

You blink slightly confused as Mori gently hold your left hand.

"There are women's that come and go even if I trust my ability as a sole... You have also become an important piece on my life, Y/n"

"...what... are-" his other hand gently stroke your face as your eyes widen staring up at him.

'I know you will read my thoughts... But I guess it will better this way...' Thought Mori to you as your eyes widen by his confession.

'Will you marry me y/n? And solely be apart of my life?'

"...but what if, I betray you?"

"Will you?" Said Mori who let out a chuckle as he stepped away abit as your mind race with thought of confusion as the only word came to your mind.

'Reject him'

"Well I will give you time to think..." Said Mori leaving with Elise who chuckle and walk away with your mind been blank of what to think.

Your heart was forever close for anyone except your son whom you love dearly as a mother should.

But... Loving another man? Yes Mori have been kind to you and you knew him when he was just an underground doctor.

You even met Fukuzawa too who told you to leave Mafia.

But you couldn't.

You can't leave your son.

And before that you couldn't.

You cared about Hirotsu.

Who is only friend of yours that was with you when your parents sucided themself.

Time past by as you were more likely ignore the question of that day.

As One day Dazai left.

He left without a word.

As much as it hurted you.

You knew it was better perhaps that friend of his have really change Dazai for better.

You could only wish to see your son been in good well.

Even if Akutagawa was hesistant he still stay with you as you cared for him as he was indeed your son student.

Both the siblings admit your like a mother for them and you even encouraged them to call you their mother of sort.

But...

When Dazai left you knew your fate was sealed.

"What do you think, Y/n-chan? Do you like white or red dress as a wedding dress?" Asked Mori while selecting dresses with Elise looking in choosing some accessories.

"Anything... Will be fine Mori-san..."

"Now now, You should call Ougai now no?" Said Mori who smile and gently hold your face sway away strand of hairs of yours from your face.

"After all, We will be together and you will be my wife soon, Isn't it lovely and honour for you to be my wife?"

"..."

He squeeze your face tighter as you try your best to smile a bit.

"Ye-yeah... Ougai-san..."

"Good very good... It is a shame Dazai will be unaware that I will be his soon step dad... Ah the irony but don't worry Y/n-chan I really like you... But more likely your ability is something which I cannot let you leave Mafia again" as Mori lean to your ear as you could feel his warm breath to yours.

"Never are you... Going to leave me, understood?"

"Y-yes Ougai-san"

.

.

.

.

.

.

But perhaps fate will bring the truth to your son... Well... More likely Ada told him the truth.

"...what do you mean?" Muttered Dazai as he side glance at Ranpo who told him the truth with Fukuzawa nodding with a frown present.

"Y/n l/n... Is your biological mother"

"...why did she left me then? And why did she come to my life again instead... Why?" Asked Dazai as he couldn't care if he is over showing his emotions.

As gentle as you are Fukuzawa frown that not a bit of Dazai resemble you perhaps the father infected him more.

Though some part he is slightly glad you never married anyone else after The birth of Dazai.

Either way, Dazai was asking what they meant truly.

"Your mother gave birth to you when she was only... 16 perhaps yeah... Been force to pay debt of her late parents she was offered money to birth a son by your father... Your mother was tossed away and given money when you were just a year old. Unaware of your life that your father passed away soon after and... Your Uncle took away your inheritance leaving you... Somewhere either way... Yeah it is y/n l/n your mother"

"...all this time... She was so close to me... Yet I never knew... I have to meet her and ask her about it.. If she know it too or even-"

"That's not the reason why we told you" said Ranpo as Dazai was abit confused as he quickly composed himself with a stiff smile.

"What do you mean?"

Fukuzawa handed Dazai a card who was confused with Fukuzawa frown present on his lips.

"Y/n was a close one even for me too... But perhaps in time she choose.... The port mafia boss Mori"

"...what kind of joke is this" muttered dazai as Fukuzawa nod.

"Either she is forc-"

"She have to be forced! Y/n- no mother never love Mori-san... And Mori-san value her for her ability.... We have to save Mother!" Said Dazai as he glance at Ranpo then Fukuzawa.

"Please... Since mother was close to you too, Save her from the marriage!"

"..." Fukuzawa let out a sighed as Ranpo side glance at the president and let out a chuckle.

"Seems... Like president gonna get another son beside me and I am getting a mother!" said Ranpo leading Fukuzawa to side glare at Ranpo with slightly flustered face as Dazai blink twice as his eyes widen in realisation.

"Even if... we save mother that doesn't mean I'm letting mother marry you!"

"...shut it concentrate on saving her from marriage first"

"Listen to your father, Dazai! And even Your older brother, me!"

"Ranpo/- San shut it"

"Now... you both are aiming me for nothing!"

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

..

𝙰:𝚗- 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝'𝚜 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚐𝚘𝚘𝚍 𝚍𝚊𝚢/𝚗𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚊𝚕𝚕! 𝙷𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚊 𝚐𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝 𝚍𝚊𝚢/𝚗𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚊𝚕𝚕!

[selarina]

aemond targaryen x reader

content warnings: modern au, fluff, pet lizard, making out, best friend's brother

The first time you meet Helaena, it was on a warm summer evening at the local neighbourhood park. And everything shined yellow.

She was there at a spot closest to the entrance, crouched down, gracefully like a princess picking on the mud before her, intently. You wonder if she’s collecting cool looking stones. You hovered a few paces away, the sweat from your walk sticking your cotton shirt to your skin.

You had promised your mother you'd make at least two friends, and Halaena seemed a likely candidate—if you could just figure out how to make her notice you.

You had arrived there with a purpose. You were to make friends. You had promised your mother, you would at least make two.

So even though your heart was beating right out of your rib cage, you steeled yourself, fist clenched as you walked up to the squatted blonde girl.

When you approached her, she had seemed nice enough. A bit dazed out, like she had just woken up from a dream. You had many dreams back then, they were so eventful and wondrous, you had started to prefer them to your own life.

“Hi,” you spoke up, your voice louder than you expected.

“Hi,” she replied, not bothering to look up at you. Your mother had told you that was not good manners.

You frowned. "Do you go to Dragonstone Academy?" you asked, trying to sound casual.

No response.

"I’m starting next week," you added.

No response.

“I know we’re already half way through the year, so that might be hard but think I’ll manage.”

No response again.

This time you consider shaking the girl, wondering if she needs help. If she’s okay.

You thought for a second about shaking her awake, to check if she was okay, or sleeping sitting up, but before you could, you heard footsteps,.

A boy appeared, older, with the same blond hair as hers. You assumed they were siblings.

He looks at you for a mere second before turning his eyes back to his sister.

“Mother wants us home by 5. We should go,” he says. His voice sounded a bit like he had a cough. But most boys your age sounded like that these days. Maybe there was a viral disease of some sort going around.

Anyway, for the first time since you saw her, she looked up, her eyes shifting like clouds clearing

"Alright," she murmured, her voice syrupy, like that one singer your mother loves listening to every morning.

She stood, gathering something in a small cloth bundle at her side, and then her eyes met yours. “You should come,” she said, smiling softly. “Mother will like you."

The boy blinked, like he'd just now noticed you existed. "Who is she?" he asked.

Halaena’s hand slipped into yours, so gentle you almost didn’t notice. "She's a friend," Halaena said, like it was a fact.

"I’m… your friend?" you asked, confused. You had barely managed to speak to her, and yet here you were, your hand in hers as though she had known for ages.

"Of course," she said simply, as if the question itself didn’t make sense, her fingers tightening gently around yours. And that was that.

For the whole journey to her house, she had held your hand in her soft grip as she stared at the trees, once again, not speaking a single word on the way back. You remember it had been painful and awkward.

The boy, on the other hand, was the same in a way. He said nothing and once you lot reached, he ran up to his room, something about studying his languages. You’re not sure what language. You later found out it had been French.

“Mother,” she spoke up as she approached a tall lady with fluffy red hair in the living room of their big house. You hadn’t seen many red haired women before, plenty of men though.

“What is it sweetie?”

“I brought a friend,” your new friend said.

Her mother who was previously engaged into looking at a paper, swivels her head up to look at her and then you.

Her dark brown eyes peer into you, as though she’s just as surprised as you are about this new development.

You want to tell her that you’re confused and scared because she's an adult and she could help, right? But instead you smile, polite as ever, and speak up. “Hi, I’m new. I just moved by the street about a week ago, and will be joining Dragonstone Academy soon.”

“Oh, good good. You’ll be in the same class then?”

"I’m… not sure," you admitted, glancing at Helaena, hoping for some confirmation, but she just stared at the floor, lost in thought again.

"How old are you, sweet one?" her mother asked.

“Thirteen," you said. "In nine months.”

"You’re twelve. Same as Helaena" her mother mused, her smile softening. "Maybe you'll be in the same section."

You nodded again, unsure of what else to say. There was something about the whole situation that made you feel like you were in a dream, the kind where everything looks just a little off. Like Alice in Wonderland, except there were no smiling cats or tall mushrooms.

"Mother," Helaena spoke up, her voice picking up a small note of excitement. "I have a surprise for you."

You watched her draw closer to the sofa where her mother was seated.

“What is it sweetie?” she asked, her hand patting her child’s hair down.

“My friends,” she confesses, sounding happier than you’ve heard all day.

Your brows cinch in confusion as you step closer then, curiosity getting the best of you.

She then gently places the bunched up cloth onto her mother’s lap, causing you to gasp.

Her mother unfolded it slowly. Inside you saw small stones, a few bugs crawling over them, and a couple of worms wriggling in the soft specks of dirt.

"Oh, sweetheart," her mother said, her voice catching just a little, like she was about to cry. "Thank you but I do wish you’d show me your friends in the garden."

Helaena says nothing in return, as you watch, fascinated by the worms, by Helaena, and her mother.

"Besides, wouldn’t they miss their family if you keep taking them away?" her mother adds.

"They like me," she counters softly but surely. She wasn’t trying to convince anyone— it seemed to be just the truth to her. She didn't even frown.

You couldn’t help but smile at that, the way she said it like it was the most natural thing in the world. Like 'Mother will like you'. It seemed a bit silly to you.

Her mother gave a small laugh, trying to hide her discomfort as she bundled the cloth back up.

"Would you like something to drink?" she asked, turning her gaze to you, her hands still cradling the little bugs like they were some strange gift. "Juice, maybe?"

“I like juice,” you smiled with a nod. Surprised by the normality of the offer.

Her mother stood, still holding the bundle in her careful grip. "I’ll be right back," she says with a restrained smile.

And so, given that this was your very first experience with Helaena, an experience that was relatively less tame in comparison to her general aura of otherworldliness. You made the assumption — a terrible assumption that Aemond was normal. He had temper issues, a bit of asocial-ness about him, but despite it all, he was normal and didn't have worms for friends.

You're freshly dating, only got about 3 weeks and 2 days under your belt. It was a tumultuous affair, getting him to date you, really. But it's happened and now you're rewarded as you're sitting in his warm lap, kissing him pretty with your gloss stained lips. His arms are on your waist, they always seem to go through the motions. They lay there against your hip, sort of loosely before the grip gets firmer and firmer until you feel how much he likes having you sitting in his lap. The heat of him, solid and real beneath you, roots you in the moment.

You’re in the rhythm of it when—

A scream bursts from your throat before you can stop it. You scramble off Aemond’s lap, your back hitting the headboard. Your eyes, wide and uncomprehending, fix on the creature—an enormous lizard, staring at you with unblinking beady eyes.

Aemond looks up at you, shocked only for a second before his face halts at a calmness, a dejectedness you've come to realise isn't as harsh as you may have assumed it to be. There's a softness in his eyes.

“What’s wrong?” His voice is steady, but you can see the flicker of confusion in his one visible eye.

You stare at him, incredulous. "Are you seriously— Aemond, there's a lizard. A giant lizard right in front of you!"

He glances down, casually, then back at you. “Oh, that’s Vhagar,” he says, like that’s meant to explain everything.

You blinked. “A what?”

“Vhagar,” he repeats plainly. “My pet. Named her after my great aunt’s dog.”

You don't say anything for a good while. Simply baffled.

“That’s… a pet?” you manage, voice thin.

He nods, his hand moving up and down, slowly against your calves.

He nods, his fingers tracing idle patterns on your leg. “She’s harmless.”

You blink. "She's a lizard."

“A Tegu to be precise,” Aemond corrects, his tone as cool as ever. “Isn’t she gorgeous?”

Your eyes flit between Aemond and the creature—Vhagar—now lazily blinking at you from across the bed. The way his hand moves so easily, up and down, fingers soft against your leg, like he’s describing an old photograph, a rare painting, not the giant reptile lounging in his room. “Uh, sure,” you say, voice shaky. “Gorgeous.”

He smirks then, a glint lighting up his eye. “I can put him outside, if you’d rather.”

You hesitate for a second, fully ready to nod a confirmation, but instead you shake your head. “No, it’s fine. Just… maybe warn me next time?”

Aemond chuckles, low and quiet, as you settle back into his lap. His lips press against your hair, “I’ll remember that.”

And just like that, you're settled in this grip of Aemond's warm hands, while Vhagar watches from her distant perch. You couldn’t help but laugh. What a strange, strange family you're going to be part of.

[married-to-google-translater]

Yandere Malleus, Leona, Jade, Vil, Floyd and Jamil with a s/o who’s been kidnapped by their ex

I do this now with Malleus and Floyd

Yandere Floyd Leech

Eh.

You have an ex?

Mafia eel is definitely not happy.

Floyd would have threatened meet your ex for sure.

Because he would already be really jealous.

Your Ex would be an active threat even if they did nothing.

And now the situation would be even worse.

Probably Floyd would "squeeze" someone.

And it is even more likely that that person would have nothing to do with it.

Poor guy.

Floyd would be really grumpy without you.

He was going to find that bastard who stole you away.

And as quickly as possible.

For Floyd, violence is always the solution.

Especially in this situation.

Jade would probably help him.

He couldn't bear to see Floyd so upset.

When Floyd finds you he quickly takes you to safety.

And after that he moves on to your ex.

Oh, this person probably won't make it out alive.

Well, at least you don't have to see anything.

Yandere Malleus Draconia

This would happen during the time you and Malleus were studying.

Kidnapping after "moving in together" would be almost impossible.

So it must happen when the Malleus is not so clingy.

But it's going to change soon.

Malleus noticed your disappearance very quickly.

And oh boys Malleus would be really pissed off.

First of all, because you were kidnapped from him.

Second, because you have an ex you haven't told about.

Thirdly, that your ex still dares to exist.

Malleus wouldn't rest until he found you again.

This would happen very quickly.

Just because a yandere lizard would be really threatening.

Also, a crocodile would be very eager to make Malleus happy again.

Meanwhile, a strong thunderstorm would rumble over the NRC.

Malleus would find you quickly.

Magic is a nice thing.

He wants to make sure you're okay.

And after that, he wouldn't let you go.

Malleus became much more clingy after this.

He is afraid that if he leaves you alone you will disappear.

Malleus won't let that happen.

And what about your ex…

Let's just say that no one hears from them after that.