#OH YEAH AND HER ELF EARS

[dailypearldoodles]

Day 521

This week's outside Pearl is from @justl-12 !! Her SL!Pearl design was actually what kinda inspired me to design Pearl a little differently because like, I love her Pearl. Scrappy lil gal. Love the flower details and whole vibe, especially her hair oooh its cute

[spookie-puppy]

I watched Moana 2 last night with my grandparents and I don't know if this is a good thing or not but Loto is exactly what I though Leo Valdez would look like

I mean

JUST LOOK AT HERR

[daistea]

Thank you for the food the fic was so nice! Your latest Mithrun fic made me think of the scenario more. Imagine Kabru, someone aware of elven culture, heard of us doing this the first time we did it from a friend who overheard it. He tries to find us to worn and educate just to find out it was too late and defeatedly explain to the other elves that tallman don't have that culture just to clear us. Aftermath of it is so hilarious. Also an alternative scenario for this setting I can think of is a random elf accepting our offer, or just someone who doesn't know about Mithrun feelings towards us, like Flamela and just exploit us and Mithrun later learning about it.

I love this prompt so much, thank u

2500 words!

tw mild nsfw implications

Mithrun x Tall-man reader

sequel to this

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Kabru scoffed at the notion that secrets and rumors were like feathers on the wind, uncatchable. He was great at catching feathers. He used them to stuff his pillow which he slept so soundly on at night. Rumors were wild dogs, but he had a leash and collar. He’d tamed beasts with bigger teeth. 

(That was, of course, a metaphor, as Kabru could not literally handle things with big teeth, as exemplified from his time in the dungeon.)

A particular sort of secret reached his ears in the empty hallway of the castle. It was the kind of secret that raised hairs and inspired mortification, which were the best kind. Usually. 

“Yeah, they asked to touch my ears,” Pattadol’s muffled voice was strained, tinged with embarrassment that Kabru could detect even through the door. 

“Mine too,” Flamela drawled. A pause followed her words, then she continued, “Pervert.”

The two elves then moved onto a different subject consisting of Pattadol’s worries for diplomacy and Flamela’s dismissals of such worries. Kabru listened for a moment more before silently moving away. He stalked down the hallway with dark clouds rolling in within his mind. 

You had asked Pattadol and Flamela if you could touch their ears. 

Kabru put his hand to his chest and squeezed his eyes shut. He leaned against the wall, beneath a portrait of some old ruler from thousands of years ago. There was still so much dust in the castle, but the thickness in his chest wasn’t from allergies. You were his friend, and so innocent, so curious. You couldn’t have known the implications of touching an elf’s ear. 

He had to speak to you immediately. 

--

“Yeah, I figured that out.” 

Kabru forced a smile and tilted his head. He was aware of how wide his eyes were, how he probably wasn’t doing a good job at hiding his shock and horror. He couldn’t bring himself to care at that moment as he watched you casually take a sip of your tea. 

“You figured it out?” He asked. Kabru wasn’t sure whether to be mortified or proud. 

“Oh yeah,” you slowly nodded as a triumphant smile rolled across your lips. When you opened your eyes to return his gaze, there was a spark within them that did not bode well. “I figured a lot of things out, actually.”

He took a moment to study your expression. The half-lidded quality of your eyes, the slight pink upon your cheek, the tilt of your chin; realization hit him like one of Marcille’s explosion spells. 

“You got laid.”

You nodded proudly, “I got laid.”

“...Mithrun?”

“Yeah,” there was triumph in your voice.

Kabru tried his best to control his irritation. You were so casual about it, he could’ve throttled you. How unromantic, asking the man who was entirely too smitten with you: ‘can I touch one of the most sensitive parts of your body?’ And the audacity, the horror, of that actually working. 

It was personally offensive to Kabru. He’d spent years building up his talent for wordplay and charm. Then, here you are, harassing poor elves. And what are the consequences of your curiosity and ignorance? Hot sex and a beautiful elf boyfriend. 

Unfair. 

There were other consequences, though. The thought of Flamela referring to you as a pervert was enough to cool the boiling in his blood. 

“Okay, I’m going to help you,” he sent you a smile.

“I don’t think we need help,” you grimaced, “we both know what to do. But thanks.”

“I– I don’t mean with Mithrun. I mean in general. I’ll help you recover your reputation with the elves of Melini.”

You tilted your head, “My reputation? What do you mean?”

“Well, I heard Flamela call you a pervert earlier.”

“Oh,” taken aback, you sat up straight in your chair, hands tightening around your mug, “Honestly, I forgot I even asked Flamela.”

The feeling in Kabru’s chest could only be described as the slow decay of his soul. “Well, she remembers quite well.”

Another grimace, “Oops. It’s no big deal, though, I’m sure they all understand that I just didn’t know the implications of it.”

Your optimism was so cute. 

“I’ll take care of it,” he took your hand and smiled, “don’t you worry.”

--

Kabru was used to elves. He’d grown up in the Northern Central Continent where elves were the dominant percentage of the population. Even in Utaya, elven culture strongly influenced daily life, architecture, and manners. His own adoptive mother was an elf. 

Still, his experience did not negate the particular brand of nervousness that came from having nearly ten elves staring at him. 

There was the first squad of the Canaries, Flamela– who was only visiting for the week– Fionil, and Marcille. All of them were absurdly pretty, confused, and pinning him to the wall with their unsettling stares. Flamela and Mithrun, at least, had the decency to look irritated at the interruption to their day. 

Kabru forced his lead tongue to work, “Alright. You’re all probably wondering why I’ve called this meeting. First of all, let’s start with this: Raise your hand if you’ve been personally victimized by [name]’s curiosity concerning your ears.”

Everybody besides Fionil and Marcille raised their hands. 

“Okay,” Kabru sent the two half elves a reassuring smile, “you two are free to go. Thanks for coming.”

“Are my ears not good enough?” Marcille muttered as she and Fionil left the empty noodle shop. 

Mithrun had very generously given Kabru permission to hold the meeting in his noodle shop before the dinner rush. It was of humble size, but clean and quiet with the smooth scent of broth clinging to the walls and chairs. Kabru had a feeling that Mithrun only lent him the space out of curiosity after he’d mentioned that the meeting had to do with you, his partner. 

Silent anticipation settled over the small group. Most of them were taut, seconds away from leaving if he said the wrong thing.

Kabru cleared his throat, “Alright. So, I just want to settle something. [Name] is not a pervert.”

There were those eyes again. They were like six lances ripping through his skin and affixing him to the wall. 

“What?” Otta asked. 

“They’re not a pervert,” he repeated as he raised his hands, “they’re just really curious and didn’t know any better. So, please, don’t judge them too harshly.”

Another beat of silence followed the plea. His gaze shifted to Mithrun, who was watching him carefully with his arms crossed over his chest and his legs stretched out in front of him. As their eyes met, Mithrun simply held the gaze, his face as blank as fresh parchment. 

Kabru set aside the building urge to dissect Mithrun’s brain and instead focused on the rest of the group. “They really didn’t know any better,” he continued despite the rising murmurs among the group, “please forgive them. Tall-man culture is a lot different from yours.”

That seemed to please the elves. Collective negativity was always far more satisfying, he knew.

“Savages,” Cithis huffed.

“Idiots,” Flamela agreed.

Otta had the decency to argue, “They’re just innocent and ignorant. And it’s not like elven society openly discusses those kinds of things.”

True. Elven culture was confusing. Wearing revealing clothes and showing a lot of skin was normal for them, nothing to give a second glance to, though the subject of sex and arousal was deemed inappropriate. One was expected to maintain their dignity, wear a mask depicting perfection, and bring honor to their family. The nobility were commonly quite repressed, though commoners had a tendency to loosen their tongues among friends. Still, sexual education was not taught well, or often, despite their dwindling population. It seemed a bit counterproductive to Kabru, but he understood their reasoning and how centuries of superiority complexes brought them to that point. 

“Did nobody actually tell them what it meant?” Pattadol asked. 

Lycion sent her a raised brow, “Did you?”

“Well, no, but…”

“I did,” Mithrun interrupted. Every eye went to him, though he kept his gaze straight ahead and his arms crossed. He let a moment of silence pass before he continued, “They won’t be asking to touch anybody’s ears again.”

Flamela made a face, “So, did they touch your ears?”

“Yeah.”

He said it so casually, unbothered by the surprise and amusement of the other Canaries. Fleki leaned forward to clap a hand on his shoulder, which earned a little frown from him. 

“Did you get laid, Captain?” Fleki asked, her grin toothy and stinking of mischief. 

“Yeah.”

“I don’t need to know that!” Pattadol screeched, “You don’t have to answer every question honestly, you know! You’re allowed to keep secrets!”

“I know,” Mithrun shrugged.

He just didn’t want to keep that particular secret, Kabru knew. Mithrun would much rather that everybody recognize his stake, his claim, his flag buried at the top of the mountain he’d just climbed. It was easier that way. 

Flamela, though, was Flamela. 

She stood up, her fists clenched. “I’ve got things to do. I can’t waste time with you guys anymore.”

The first squad ignored her departure and instead started asking Mithrun a myriad of invasive questions, much to Pattadol’s distress. Yet, Kabru kept his gaze on Flamela. There was a spark in her eyes, one he recognized. It betrayed her intentions. As one of Mithrun’s closest friends and certified nosy-guy, he couldn’t help but subtly follow her out and into the street. 

“Excuse me,” he said once the door shut behind him. A few feet away, Flamela stopped mid-step and whirled around with a glare. 

“What?” She hissed.

“You’re going to do something you’ll regret, aren’t you?” Kabru sent her a look he hoped she’d recognize as concern. It was definitely concern, because anybody that planned to mess with you deserved that. 

“I won’t regret it,” Flamela rolled her eyes, “I just… don’t understand why [name] would want to touch the Captain’s ears and not mine. Mine are longer and softer.”

“Are you really offended over this? Didn’t you tell them no already?”

“I’ve changed my mind!” She snapped. 

“Are you just trying to get back at Mithrun for charging you full price for a bowl of noodles?”

She froze. Her mouth was open, shaped in a scowl. Her shoulders rose like the hackles of a cat. Despite the flicker of satisfaction that Kabru felt at having hit the mark, the hair on his arms stood to attention. He was seconds away from being tackled. 

Fortunately, he side-stepped right as Flamela attacked. 

Now on all fours on the dirt street, Flamela glared at him over her shoulder, “He should’ve given me a discount!”

“He isn’t obliged to.”

“He is!” She stood up and dusted off her uniform, “[Name] should want to feel my ears, they’re better.”

Kabru put his hands on his hips, “You’re just being competitive.”

“Shut up,” she hissed before brushing past him and stomping down the street.

Kabru glanced to the left just in time to see a glimpse of dark eyes staring out through a crack in the blinds. Judging by their black color and uneven manner, it was obviously Mithrun peeking at his conversation with Flamela. He made eye contact with the captain for a second before Mithrun narrowed his gaze dangerously and let go of the blinds. They snapped back into place, but Kabru couldn’t quite return to his natural state like that, not with the black-eyed storm brewing. 

--

Flamela found you on the street. It wasn’t the best place for ear-rubbing, but her mind was on one track and she ardently refused to veer. 

“I’ve reconsidered,” she said. There was no greeting or smile or easing in of the conversation. 

You stopped mid-step and stared at her. “...Reconsidered what?”

“About you touching my ears.”

Did you ask to touch her ears? The memory wasn’t popping up for you. Yet, now that you knew what that actually meant to elves, you felt appropriately horrified by the statement. You were on a crowded street. If any passersby had a clue as to what Flamela said, they showed no indication. The elf population in Melini was small. The implications of ear touching most likely flew over their heads as it once did for you. 

You managed a smile that you hoped was polite, that you hoped didn’t betray your embarrassment. “That’s okay, thanks.”

Flamela narrowed her eyes, “Why not? My ears are softer and longer than Mithrun’s. If you’re going to touch an elf’s ears, I would think you’d want the full experience.”

“I, uh, I got a pretty full experience with Mithrun. But thanks,” you offered another smile. Something about the way Flamela frowned hinted at deeper motives. You just had to ask, “Is this because Mithrun didn’t give you a discount on a bowl of noodles?”

She scoffed, “No!”

It was definitely about that. 

As you prepared an explanation of your loyalties to Mithrun and his decision to not give her a discount, a flicker of mana filled the air, pricking at your skin. You knew that particular brand of magic. Your heart dropped into your stomach as the spot behind Flamela shifted like the surface of disturbed water. Half a second later, Mithrun appeared. 

You felt yourself tense. Flamela was on a rant about discounts. Mithrun’s gaze was calm, too calm, dangerously calm. The only sign of his anger was the feral look in his good eye. In the past, Mithrun wouldn’t have cared about Flamela offering her ears to random tall-men. He would have resisted any urges to teleport her into walls simply because it would get him kicked out of the Canaries. But the demon was gone, his purposes for living were different. You were one of those purposes, one of those desires, and he was so one track minded that he would do anything to hang onto that. 

He raised a hand. Flamela tensed as if sensing the danger. Nearby, Kabru pushed through the crowd, panicked. 

“No!” You lunged at your partner before he could teleport the Vice-Captain to a place where she’d never get noodles again, let alone discounted ones. 

Your body weight crashed onto him. His eye widened and Kabru gasped. Like a felled tree, you and Mithrun both fell to the ground. Flamela said something you didn’t quite comprehend, but it didn’t matter at the moment. 

You laid on Mithrun. He laid on the ground. He put one hand on your back and chose to stare at the blue sky above rather than fight your will. The passersby sent the scene curious glances but wisely stayed away, giving you and Mithrun a wide berth.

A shadow cast over your bodies and you looked up to see Flamela blocking the sun. She only glared, hands on her hips. 

“I want a discount,” she said.

You felt Mithrun grunt beneath you. Another beat of silence passed before he answered, “Fine. Just stay away from [name].”

“Deal.”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

[misctf]

Christmas Curse

Hey everyone! Happy Holidays. If you have any holiday-themed asks, I will try to prioritize those. Hope you enjoy this story!

“Yeah, yeah Stacy, I know.” Matt grumbles, “You’ll be here soon. Got it.” He rolls his eyes, “ Jesus Stacy, I got the kids their presents. I know how to be a dad.” He hangs up, “Fuckin’ bitch.” He mumbles.

Matt yawns and starts preparing his morning coffee. He was going to need it. While he didn’t really mind having his kids over, he did hate having to see his ex-wife. Always nagging him, even after they signed the papers. It was that nagging that drove him to cheat on her with one of his clients at the gym. At least that’s how he justified it. A small frown formed on his lips as he sips his coffee.

“First Christmas since the divorce.” He mumbles, looking around his empty apartment, “Damn.” A part of him starts to feel guilty- his kids deserved better. No decorations, no tree, not even a single light, “Fuck. I won’t hear the end of this.” His thoughts return to his ex-wife.

He quickly walks to his closet where he had a few things that he got from the house after the divorce. He sighs as he realizes most of the decorations he took were broken- likely due to how unceremoniously he treated them during the move.

“Oh god.” He grimaces as he pulls out their Elf on the Shelf, “Terrifying little fucker.” He chuckles, “Yeah, you got me good, Stacy.”

It was the one decoration Stacy insisted he take in the divorce. Likely because of how much it creeped him out. Just another petty move on her part, he figured. Yet part of him can’t help but smile. His kids loved the thing.

“I guess this’ll do.” He quickly walks back to the kitchen and places it lamely on a chair.

He walks over to grab his coffee and upon turning around, he raises an eyebrow. The damn thing was on the ground. Matt walks over and quickly places it back on the chair, making sure there was no way it could fall.

“Creepy fucker.” He mumbles, turning around again.

Thump

“Really?” Matt turns back to find it on the ground again, “Seriously, what the hell?” He picks it up and looks at it closely, “Stay put.” He realizes he sounds insane- talking to an inanimate object.

“Make me.” Matt’s eyes widen as he realizes the decoration just talked to him. Its eyes blinking. Its giggles echoing in his ears.

“Gah what the fuck!?”

Matt cries out as it bites down firmly on his thumb and he throws it across the room. He stares at the small teeth marks on his thumb and watches as the little demon scurries away, its giggling filling his apartment. Matt’s breath became heavier as he stumbled to the kitchen sink and started cleaning out his cut. His thoughts were racing and he was feeling dizzy.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck...” He’s mumbling to himself, and he shakily grabs his cup of coffee.

But when the bitter liquid touches his tongue he gags and drops the mug. Its disgusting. Bitter, sour, and he spits out as much as he can. He quickly rushes to his fridge, looking for anything that might get that disgusting taste out of his mouth. But none of his protein shakes look appealing, nor does almond milk or his protein smoothies. Matt doesn’t know what compels him, but he grabs the chocolate milk he got his kids last time they visited. Without much thought, he begins to guzzle it, downing the carton in a matter of seconds.

“So good...” He giggles, wiping his mouth.

His eyes widen at the realization of what he just did. He just ruined his macros for the day without even thinking about it. At least the taste from the coffee was gone. Matt shakes his head- realizing he has bigger things to worry about. He needed to find that elf. As his thoughts return to his predicament, he can hear a giggle coming from the bedroom.

“Fudger...” Matt mumbles, “Fudger? No I meant fudger! What the fudge?” He shakes his head, trying to curse, “Sugar plums... I need to find that thINg.”

Frustrated at his inability to curse, and the strange cracking of his voice, Matt rushes to his room. Desperate to find the monster and give it back to Stacy. Of course she gave him a cursed doll. And as he storms down the hallway, he absentmindedly scratches at his beard. The hairs falling away, leaving his cheeks smooth and hairless. Unbeknownst to him, they take on a rosier complexion, filling out slightly and becoming rounder.

“ThERe you ARe.” Matt’s voice cracks as he notices the decoration sitting atop his tall dresser, “Come here.”

Matt approaches his dresser and reaches to grab it but finds his arms no longer reach the top of it. The elf grins and teases Matt, reaching out to Matt, who is unable to grab it. Just missing ever so slightly. The personal trainer is growing frustrated, now standing on his tippee toes as he desperately swats at the elf.

“Why can’t I reach it?” Matt thinks. At 6’3” he never had an issue reaching the top of the dresser.

And as he lifts his arms above his hand, he catches a whiff from his exposed pits. But it’s not his musk that invades his nostrils. No, it’s sweet. Like gingerbread and holly. He lowers his arms, not even registering that his pit hair has vanished.

“What’s happening to me?” He whispers, his voice softer. The masculine edge diminished. He looks up at the elf, who is smiling at him, “What did you do to me?”

Matt turns and looks over at his full body mirror. A high-pitched gasp leaves his mouth as he catches a glimpse of himself. He’s short... at least 5’4”. And his muscles look softer. He saunters over to the mirror, feeling his smooth face, rubbing a hand through his dissipating chest hairs. His tokens of masculinity vanishing at an alarming rate. His face cute- elfish even. Just like... just like...

“No, no, no!” Matt’s voice has settled on its higher tenor, “Stop this!” He hisses, hating how pouty his voice sounds, “Please! I...” He turns to confront the elf.

But it’s no longer on the dresser. Matt’s heart is pounding in his chest as he swings back to watch the changes continue. He grunts as his meaty pecs let out a hissing sound and deflate before his eyes. Days of chest flies and bench pressing seem to reverse themselves as his chest becomes flat, his two nipples becoming perkier and sensitive to the cool air in his apartment. He can’t help but massage his flat chest with his dainty and smooth hands. Part of him enjoying how cute he looks, another part utterly horrified at the loss of his gains.  

“Wait, please don’t... not my arms!”

In a moment of lucid thought, he realizes that his impressive tris and bis are releasing the same hissing sounds. Rapidly becoming stick-like and nonthreatening. Matt feels tears well up in his eyes. He loved to flex- to show off to his clients. He loved holding women in his muscular arms. How they would run their hands along them and his abs... His abs! He watches as they too smooth over and vanish, giving him a lean tummy. His treasure trail, another symbol of his masculinity has similarly vanished. The hairs falling to the ground, leaving Matt smooth.

“Oh god...” Matt feels for his Adam’s apple and frowns, “Even my voice...” He stumbles backwards and slides down the wall, “Oh!” He moans as his inflated ass cushions him, “Wh-what...?” He moans as he feels his larger ass. His hands filling with the flesh of his larger, jiggling mounds, “Ohhhhh...”

He gives them a squeeze, part of him embarrassed at how sensitive they are. At how each squeeze causes his dick to harden with pleasure. And as he moans again, he can’t help but realize that the bulge in his pants becomes less prominent. While part of him screams to stop, the pleasure he’s getting from just squeezing his ass overpowers any remaining willpower he might have. When he finally does pull his hands away from his ass and looks down his pants, his heart sinks. His dick has settled on 2 inches hard. Far from the thick meat women would beg for. And while part of him wanted to cry, to beg to return to his masculine form, another part urged him to give his ass another squeeze. And he did. Again and again and again...

It was a few hours later when he heard a knock at his door. Matt was lying face down, ass in the air, his dainty hands massaging his thicc ass. He slowly pushes himself up and giggles. His rosy cheeks rounding out more as a smile forms on his cute face. He quickly walks over to the closet where he rummages through tank-tops and hoodies.

“So ugly and boring...” Matt thinks as he hums a Christmas tune to himself.

And then he finds it. He never really remembered buying it, but the red footie pajamas, white fluffy mittens, and Santa hat are absolutely perfect. He quickly puts them on and walks over to the mirror.

“Ohhh I look so good!” He giggles, lifting his leg and doing a twirl.

Part of him registers that he looks exactly like the elf. A near perfect, human replica. And while he feels deep down this is wrong, that he isn’t some elf-like, twink with a big ass, he can’t imagine being anything else.

“No please! Let me out!” Matt’s giggling stops as he listens closely to the voice in his head. And when he stares in the mirror, he sees who he used to be. A desperate fear in the man’s eyes, “Please! I’m not...”

“Shhhhh!” Giggling fills the air, “We have a lot to do!”

Matt leaves the mirror, the sound of sobbing echoing deep within his brain. But Matt can’t be bothered right now. He quickly swings open the door and grins when he sees Stacy.

“Stacy!” He sings, “Merry Christmas Eve!”

Stacy grins, “Seems like you found my gift.” She says, “I just came by to pick up the presents for the kids. I think they should stay with me this Christmas.”

Matt frowns, “Alright... It’s not like I’m ready for Christmas anyway.” He pouts, crossing his arms.

Matt watches as Stacy leaves with the few presents he got for his kids. Internally, Matt is begging to be freed. This isn’t what he wanted. This wasn’t... His thoughts slow as he feels hands grip his massive ass. The two Matts moaning in unison. Their minds melding in the midst of their shared pleasure. And internally, Matt realizes it’s too late. As the new Matt opens up Grindr to find a hairy daddy to fuck his brains out, Matt realizes by the time Christmas morning comes around, he and this new Matt will be one.

As he dreads his future, he can hear a giggle coming from down the hall. One last mocking laugh from the elf on the shelf.

[grimm-writings]

can i request chil eavesdropping on reader telling marcille about their crush, and getting jealous because he doesn’t realise that it’s him?

distant

…ft! chilchuck x gn! reader

…tags! fluff, miscommunication, marcille being a gossip and izutsumi being petty

…wc! 613

…notes! making this short and sweet. hope you enjoy!! 

Even with Chilchuck’s enhanced hearing, it’s difficult to miss Marcille’s loud gasps of shock whenever she hears anything that strikes her very core.  You and the elf like to take the chance to gossip with one another when the day comes to a close.  Chilchuck personally doesn’t get it, but that doesn’t mean he won’t tune in occasionally to something that catches his attention.

With a lowered voice, “actually,” you say, “I have something to admit…”

“Yes?” Marcille matches your volume.  Anyone else probably wouldn’t be able to listen in easily, all except Chilchuck.  What could even be so interesting that you can only discuss it this way Marcille?

“I think…  No, I know for certain I caught feelings for him,” you whisper with a dejected sigh.

Chilchuck freezes in place as he was helping clean plates from the past meal.  Izutsumi, who was joining him, spared him a glance.  Noticing this, Chilchuck quietly apologises and continues the routine.

…Izutsumi’s foul stare doesn’t stop him from listening in on the conversation more.

“Really?”  Marcille whispers, though with her excitement in tow it makes her voice sound shrill, which makes Chilchuck flinch slightly.  “You figured it out?”

“Yeah,” you respond with a sigh.  “Don’t think he likes me back– it’s like he’s giving me the cold shoulder.”

What?  Someone would be stupid enough to be cruel to you?  But you’re so sweet!  Even observing from a distance, Chilchuck has formed a bit of a soft spot for you.  He doesn’t get too close, out of his own rule of not forming interpersonal relationships.

He’d have to give that guy a piece of his mind…

“Ah, but he’s actually really sweet once you peel back the layers, you know?”  You continue, confusing Chilchuck further.  “He can be so soft, so gentle… But once he realises what he’s doing, he withdraws.  He’s so distant.”

“So he’s sending mixed signals?”  Marcille confirms.

“Mhm…”

A nasty twinge of jealousy twists in Chilchuck’s chest.  Not like he isn’t used to it when it comes to you before.  You really care for this guy?  And he’s not even being clear with what he wants?  Ugh, if only he could see him face to face!

Wait… Could it be someone like Laios?  Or Senshi?  Laios can be a little out of the loop when it comes to communication… and he wouldn’t doubt anyone would be somewhat enamoured with Senshi’s ability to care for someone.

Fixating on relationships is not what Chilchuck tends to do, but if it’s you, he wants the best for you.  He really does, but…

“Oh my God, are you stupid?”

Izutsumi’s voice breaks Chilchuck out of his thoughts, looking up at the younger girl.  Her own ear twitches, indicating she also heard the conversation.  “They’re obviously talking about you.”

Chilchuck flushes.  “What–”

“And you mock me for not being self-aware.”

“I’m not even that–!”

“Gentle?”  Izutsumi scoffs.  “Says the guy who tenderly carved a woodwork ornament for them.  Get real.”

Embarrassment fills Chilchuck up and out of his ears, opening his mouth and closing it cluelessly.  “...I’m not doing anything about it.”

“And let them believe you don’t like them at all?  Sure, go for it.”

Chilchuck purses his lips hesitantly, putting the plate away.  “If they want to confess, they will…  I won’t leave them distant.”

Izutsumi only stares with little amusement.  Relationships are her bane, but not in the way Chilchuck holds disdain for them.  They make people stupid, like how Chilchuck and you are.  She sighs wearily, finishing up the chore and returning to where she was relaxing.

You two better get over yourselves fast, if not for your own sakes, then for hers.

[operationslipperypuppet]

we all know work song is a hardshine song, so what if i put a bunch of naddpod moments together to make that more true.

Transcript:

Moments from Work Song by Hozier and (in order) C1E54, C1E68, C1E91, C1E70 (two clips), C3E39, C3E32, C3E30, C3E45 (two clips), and C3E44 edited together. Song lyrics are in bold. Episode jumps without lyrics between them are shown with "--".

When my time comes around

Murph [narrating]: Hardwon, you are in this strange, in between world. {Kingshammer begins playing in the background} Like, the Feywild right now looks like an oil painting, like it's gray and white, and you can vaguely see what's going on, but it's all blurry. And you hear a bunch of voices in the distance. You hear the voice of Gemma, in the distance going:

Gemma [Murph, whispering]: Hardwon, it's not your time yet, Hardwon. Hardwon, we'll be together but not now.

Hardwon [Jake]: Gemma.

Murph: You hear another voice calling to you.

Elias Stormborn [Murph]: Son, join me in the halls of Isgard.

Murph: And from somewhere else, you hear dissonant whispers, but amongst them you recognize the voice of the Widow.

Lydia Stormborn (The Widow) [Murph]: We can get out together, we can get out together.

Hardwon: Mother?

{Kingshammer slowly fades out}

Lay me gently in the cold, dark earth

Moonshine [Emily]: {Gutless plays in the background} Um, I just wanna remind you, not every problem needs to be fixed, but, if you want, I can reincarnate you.

Hardwon [Jake]: I wanna die, real bad.

[Caldwell laughs]

Moonshine: Okay, well, I'm gonna take that as a positive because if you die, then I can reincarnate ya.

Hardwon: Take it whatever way you want [chuckles]. Uh, but no, I, yeah, no, that's, that's the right interpretation.

Moonshine [overlapping]: Hardwon -

Hardwon: I w - I -

Moonshine: I really don't want you to want to die, because I want you to live so much and I don't wanna be alone in that feelin'.

Hardwon: I don't wanna die. I wanna - I wanna - I wanna live again.

No grave can hold my body down

Murph [narrating]: And you guys hear its voice, uh, simultaneously echoing through the cave and also sounding like it's right over your shoulder, somebody whispering into your ear.

[Emily hums in acknowledgement]

Death [Murph]: Hardwon Surefoot.

Beverly [Caldwell]: Woah!

Hardwon [Jake]: 'Sup?

Death: {The Purge starts playing in the background} You should be dead.

Hardwon: Yeah, looks like you can't do your job right, can ya? [Caldwell chuckles]

Death: The reason I can't do my job is because people like Beverly and Moonshine break the laws of death.

Hardwon: Careful, you're talking about my family.

I'll crawl home to her

Murph [narrating]: {Oh, Melora! plays in the background} Hardwon, your spirit, um, flies into this body. Uh, you see, Melora picks it up, pulls him out of the sea, and brings half-elf Hardwon into this, um, demiplane with all you guys.

[Caldwell laughs]

--

Hardwon [/Jake]: {Tale's End plays in the background} I smash my forehead against Moonshine's, too. [Emily laughs in delight] And say, hey, if I was gonna come back as anything, I'm proud to come back as half of you.

When my time comes around

Hardwon [Jake]: But, Beverly and Moonshine? They don't need me. [pauses] And, and I have to be okay with that.

--

Hardwon: {A Memory plays in the background} But I'm coming to understand the reality - that they're gonna stay as strong and heroic as we all once were, and I'm going to fade away.

Lay me gently in the cold dark earth

Hardwon [Jake]: Um, do me one, one favor? If I start to slow you down {bird chirping sound in background}, you leave me behind.

No grave can hold my body down

Hardwon [Jake]: {metal guitar music plays in the background} Hardwon kips up.

Murph [narrating]: Your eyes are closed, you're knocked out, you remember the last time you were knocked out by an avatar of Gruumsh, you know you can't let that happen again. Just pure, force of will, you jolt your heart and get it going again, and you kip up.

--

Murph [narrating]: {The Hexblood Centurions plays in the background} Hardwon, you are suddenly jolted back awake with the help of Sol, you see Sol hovering over you.

Hardwon [Jake]: Oh, my god -

Sol [Caldwell]: Hey.

Hardwon: - do I love the smell of mushrooms after I wake up from death. [Caldwell laughs]

I'll crawl home to her

Hardwon [Jake]: [other cast members laughing throughout] Moonsh - Moonshine, if you can hear me, I'll be there tomorrow. I'll be there tomorr- I'm coming. As fast as I can.

[thechekhov]

Dungeon Meshi Quick Reacts: CH42

Who is that. Is that Marcille? It doesn't look like Marcille. Why her ears so small.

why is this alternate-universe man struggling with so many modern day issues, like his parents pestering him to have kids? We came so far... but in the end.... we never left.

DAMN, GET OFF HIS ASS! I know it must be a dream but damn. You don't have to do the poor boy like this! He's doing his best!

We all need friends like this that will just wrestle you into bed.

.......is the idea that you can enter someone's dream as easily as just sleeping on them? Just physical contact? Damn. Free MMO VR experience.

Ah yes. Because really, what ELSE would you use lucid dreaming for, if not this?

Someone who's never read Dungeon Meshi explain what's going on in these panels.

Not gonna lie, I'm a huge sucker for weird liminal spaces like these. I know they're meant to freak people out but they have the opposite effect on me. This is peak mental stimulation.

IT'S A BABY MARCILLE????!?? AOOUUUGUGUHUGHU LOOKIT HER

Me and Laios: ah, yes, Marcille's family is a polycule, confirmed. This is surely the way it's meant to be taken.

oh, that's. hm.

Ahhh, poor kid! She's so terrified, and even though she doesn't recognize Laios, she knows he's a friend. Damn, I really love the fact that, despite often arguing with him, Marcille and Laios are actually genuinely close friends.

WEE WOO WEE WOO THAT'S NOT GOOD.

I just realized her doll looks like Falin!!! Will the wonders never cease!!

Oh! It's the guilt! :D Her real source of fear is the crushing guilt of having resurrected her girlfriend and accidentally siphoning away her humanity!

.........hang on. If it's not monsters OR death that Marcille is scared of.... is it possible that she's scared of... other people dying before she does?

She's an elf, right? Or a half elf, if the people who spoiled that reveal for me have spoiled it correctly. That means she'll probably out-last her friends. Is THAT the fear?

...or did he.

You can do what????? Use ancient magic to reverse the aging of your loved ones?!?!

That eye is the same as that of the elf, huh.

Yeah girl, you show that thing. Bonk it with the wizard's spellbook.

👏let 👏 her 👏 sleep!

Y'all got. CLAMS? In your. PILLWS?

......Y';ALL GOT PILLOWS? IN THE DUNGEON??

... the internal monologue of a cat who will continue to be too lazy to move for the next 15 hours.

OH!!!! HIM!!!!!!

(❁´◡`❁)

Listen. You don't choose your fursona. Your fursona chooses you.

[whaledenwtf]

Halsin x Dryad!Reader - The Summer Solstice

IM BACK BITCHES!!! Instead of doing my presentation for university I'm typing this. You're welcome.

Cross-posted on AO3 here: Link All other links will be at the end of the fic!! ENJOY

Warnings: afab!reader and Male Smut, Breeding Kink, Creampie, Oral (Female and Male Receiving), BEACH SEX YEAH, Size Difference, Oh Yeah Did I Mention MATING PRESS

Once again, my efforts to keep him as true to character have been made. :)

WORD COUNT: 3630

Link to some Summer Solstice Rituals I reference here: LINK

You couldn't help but be impressed. It was the summer solstice, and the Arch Druid of the Emerald Grove handling the rituals of the day was excelling. Excelling enough to gain the attentions of Silvanus himself. You were watching his back from behind an oak tree, admiring the musculature. He was tall, strong. You liked that. Your mind flitted between the mortal and what had happened earlier in the day. The Oak Father presented himself to you in your mind earlier today, expressing his excitement of one of his followers.

"His name is Halsin. He has excelled in many of the rituals and in assisting nature. He has even reached Arch Druid status." He had said offhandedly. You were always a curious Dryad, and knew you had to investigate. You knew Silvanus was meddling but you haven't been around mortals in decades. You wanted to join the festivities after all; the summer solstice was your favourite holiday! The flowers are already in full bloom, the summer air is sweet with the smell of hydrangeas and peonies. You knew many of your companions were celebrating on their own, with nature and chosen company. You decide to get a little closer to the celebrations, walking out from behind the oak tree you were hiding behind. Many of the druids turned to look at you and gasped. Many of them dropped their lutes and violins, the sounds of nature becoming louder in the sudden silence. Many of them came to you, with offerings of honeyed mead and flower crowns. You crouch down to a small elf child holding a marigold and lavender crown.

"Little one, may I wear your crown?" They look at their parents for guidance before nodding and placing the crown above your head. It blooms further once it is placed upon you, and the smell of lavender wafts around the air. You pluck one of the lavender buds from your crown and put it behind the child's ear, smiling.

"Now we match." The child giggles in wonder, before running to hide behind her mother's leg, watching you in glee. You rise to stand, only to notice the Arch Druid had turned around to watch you. You are stunned by his beauty. His face is angular, with a tattoo on the right side and a gruesome bear scar on the left. He was perfect, in your eyes. You smile at the crowd you attracted, before walking past them to reach Halsin. When you get close, you smell him and are enamored further. Pine, musk and cedar. You can understand why Silvanus had sung his praises; he was the embodiment of nature.

"We haven't had a dryad join in our festivities yet. May Silvanus preserve you." You bow dramatically, the vines and leaves that make up your clothing sway beautifully behind you.

"An honour it is to meet you, Arch Druid Halsin. Your reputation precedes you." He chuckles, his voice deep and booming.

"I hope you heard all good things I hope." He smirks down at you, hazel eyes glistening in the twilight. The last beams of sunlight shine on the both of you. You glow with a radiance, like water reflecting sunlight, and he is attracted to you. Your beauty, your essence, is all captivating.

"Silvanus has only sung your praises, Halsin. I had hoped to see you in person and was graced by your ceremony. Wonderfully done." He blushes, the tips of his ears burning crimson. He seems at shock from your words; Silvanus has praised him? He feels truly blessed. You turn to look at the onlookers, who were still gazing at your beauty.

"Please, continue your celebrations. The Oak Father wishes you all enjoy yourselves in the time of festivities. Enjoy nature as he intended." You words were clear, and not a moment later, did everyone begin celebrating again. You turn back to Halsin, who is watching you in wonder. You blush lightly under his gaze, before sidestepping to look at the altar of light.

"Beautiful spread. I see you added citrine and pyrite; as well as some local blooms." That seems to snap him out of his spell and he nods.

"The celebration of the solstice is one I take very seriously." You turn to look at him over your shoulder.

"May I?" He waves over the altar, allowing you to do your magic. Your eyes begin to glow green, and sunflowers begin to bloom in your hand. You lay them aesthetically on the altar, smiling.

"Thank you." He tells you earnestly. You giggle at his enthusiasm, smiling as you turn back to him.

"Of course-" You look at the horizon, noticing the the sun had set. "Well, I believe it is time for the bonfire and feast! Oh, I haven't been to solstice festivities in years." You tell him excitedly.

"Join us." He tells you. You smile widely at him, and his heart flutters in his chest.

"I'd love to. I'll dance- oh and sing! I'm so excited!" You are buzzing in place. He finds it adorable. His hand goes to the small of your back ushering you forward.

"Go on! Enjoy yourself." His hand feels warm on your skin, and you blush.

"What about you?" He waves you off.

"I tend to look over the festivities. Have to make sure we do not lose any cubs." You bite your lip, thinking. You had an idea.

"What if I ask you to celebrate with me? Would you join then?" His gaze glances down at your lips before meeting your eyes.

"I can make an exception, for such a beautiful guest." You blush once again. He smirks as your skin darkens, and he can't help but wonder if that blush shows up on other parts of your body, hidden to his eyes.

"Then I will make sure to save a dance for you." You go on your tippy-toes, planting a soft kiss on his cheek, before running forward into the fray. His hand holds his face where you had kissed him, and he smiles. He can't wait.

You had spent the last hour dancing with the children of the Grove. You were showing them the dryad's dance, a sensual dance with a lot of swirling; your arms swaying. Like a willow tree you wave and sway, the wind following your movements. Your eyes catch Halsin watching at you, a heat in his gaze. At the end of the dance, you end with a flourish, arms spread up towards the moon. Flowers and flower petals fall over the children, who squeal and giggle excitedly. They come to hug you and you pet many of them, sprouting daisies and marigolds to give to each child. Once they receive their gifts, they run around the grove, chasing each other and playing. The music changes to a very familiar tune. The musicians begin playing "Down by the River", and you begin to sing. Your voice, ethereal and otherworldly echoes in nature. You begin to dance, voice still echoing. Like a siren, Halsin felt the pull of your voice, and began to edge closer to you subconsciously. Once he gets close enough, you grab his wrist, tugging him into a dance. You begin to circle one another, one of your hands palm to palm with one another. You continue to sing, your gazes locked. He is entranced by you.

"Down, down, down by the river." You end the song, twirling around Halsin. You both bow at one another, as everyone applauds you both.

"Thank you for the dance." He tells you huskily. You squirm under his gaze.

"I was hoping for more than one dance." You tell him quietly. He feels particularly emboldened by your response, and puts his hand around your waist.

"What were you thinking of?" He asks you quietly. Your hands lay on his chest.

"Perhaps we can celebrate the solstice together... privately." He hums, his arms pulling you closer to him. You feel his strength through your close bodies, and admire him further, hands caressing his chest, mapping his body.

"What of my duties?" He asks you. He doesn't seem to want to decline. You look around, noticing everyone having fun and participating in ritualistic dances.

"Meet me near the shoreline after the last song has ended and nature's music is loud again. I will wait for you." Your lips graze his gently. You taste like freshwater and thyme. His lips become numb, and his mind is emptied of all rational thought. His eyes glow amber as he watches you walk to the shore, hips swaying. A low growl leaves his chest, and he almost transforms into a bear. He can't help but curse his need to diligently do his duties. This night will feel eternal.

When the last notes of music have died down, and all that is left of the large bonfire is embers, he seeks your company. The night is dark, lit by glowing mushrooms and occasional group of fireflies. His path is dark, but he has never felt such peace. He walks the path to the shoreline, where your voice carries as you sing; the sound of crashing waves accompanying your music. His heart beats loudly in his ears, the tips of them twitching in his excitement. In all his years of existence, he has never lain with a dryad. It seems surprising, for many of his years he had taken an extensive amount of lovers, all of which were of many different races and ages. His bare feet finally hit the sand, and he sinks slightly in his continued path to you. He sees your ears twitch before you turn around, smiling.

"I was beginning to get concerned." You tell him softly. Your voice was gentle, and the emotions that burst forward from his heart urged him to speed in his walk to you, almost sprinting.

"You needn't be concerned of me." You rise to greet him, hands stretch out. He gets close enough to grasp them, and pulls you forward. You land on his chest, and are forced to look up at him. The stars are reflecting beautifully in your eyes. They are focused on his own gaze, and he has never felt more grateful for all of the actions, faults and obstacles in his life that had brought him here; with you.

"Can I not be concerned for someone I care about?" He blushes at the remark, and you notice the druid's skin darken. His hands let go of your own to grasp the sides of your face.

"You care?" You bite your lip, watching his amorous gaze.

"When Silvanus spoke of you, I must admit it was not the first time I've heard of the admirable and fearless Arch Druid Halsin. Your bravery and attunement to nature always attracted me to the idea of you. Now that I stand before you, my heart beats in tune with yours; the idea of any other being is far away in my mind. You take the forefront of many of my thoughts, and have been for the entirety of the day." His hands pull your face forward, his lips smashing against yours. This kiss was unlike the other; passion, excitement and need were felt in this kiss. You moan against him, and his tongue takes advantage of your lowered defenses. Your tongues move against each other languidly, caressing one another. You pull away from him, only to push him down so he is laying in the sand. You sit atop his lap, and begin kissing him again.

He decided that if lightning had struck him in this moment, he'd die the happiest man alive. Such words and attentions he had never heard, especially from the lips of someone he's come to admire so much. The world around them dissipated, and all that was left was them and time indefinite- your words and touches, your two souls joining in nature's basest form of love. His hands caress the sides of your body, his touch igniting heat wherever they touch, a heat blossoming in the very core of your being.

When air becomes a necessity for you both, you separate. You begin to pull his ceremonial tunic upwards, before laying it gently next to you both, taking care in the important garb. His pants are next, and his undergarments fall with them. You kneel between his legs and admire him. It seems Silvanus had taken great care in his looks, and his personality. If you hadn't known better, you'd believe him a god; crafted from your mind's eye. In a moment, he lifts himself up to remove your dryadic clothing, mostly leaves and vines, so he could gaze upon you. Once both naked, your touches become lighter, hovering over him ever so slightly. His skin breaks out in goosebumps, the hairs rising slightly.

"Your beauty is one I never thought I could ever gaze upon." You tell him sweetly. His eyes leave your face for a moment to gaze at the rest of you.

"Sitting here, with you, shows me that some of nature's greatest beauties are ones I hadn't had the chance to gaze upon yet. No words can even begin to describe how I see you in this moment; your beauty cannot be fully grasped with something as limiting as words." You crawl further up into the crevice of his thighs, your belly rubbing against his hardened member. Your noses are touching now, and you are exchanging each other's air.

"I need you." You whimper, and one of his hands grasp the back of your neck, under the thickness of your hair to pull you into a savouring kiss. His other hand goes to tread the path of your body; from grasping and playing with the pebbled peaks of your breasts, to caressing your bountiful curves to the apex of your thighs. You moan into his mouth as his thick fingers tickle the outline of your cunt, feeling the wetness that has gathered there. He moans when he realizes truly how wet you had become. His fingers then dip in between the seam of your cunt, to gather some of your nectar before separating from your lips to taste you.

His eyes flash golden at the taste of you on his tongue. Your wanton moan turns into a shriek as he pulls you up until your cunt is levelled with his mouth.

"I'm going to savour you now. Devour you, until you cannot stand, and your voice is strained. May I taste you, sweet one?" You respond to him by laying your full weight on his face. He wastes no time in savouring your scent, and... devouring you. His tongue explores your depths, as his nose bumps into your clit. You grind on him, juices flowing down his chin. He grabs your plush thighs, grinding you harder into him. He pulls away for a moment to release his grab on one of your thighs before plunging two of his thick fingers into you and sucking on your pearl. You will not last with his attentions. He is feasting on you, your moans and pants urging him further.

"That's right, my little lavender. Finish on my tongue and fingers. Cum for me." The authoritative tone his voice took shook you to your core, and you finish on his fingers and talented tongue. With a moan, your juices leak out of you. He begins to lick your mess, moaning at the taste of your essence. His grip on your thighs have waned enough for you to scramble away, legs shaking. You land with a thump on the ground between his thighs, grasping his cock in your hand. You stroke him once, then twice, before rubbing the pad of your thumb on his head and spreading his precum around. You pull away to taste him, and moan. He growls at your debauchery.

"I'm going to taste you, Halsin. Need to taste you." You huff out as if out of breathe, before taking him in your hand again. Your lips descend on him, tasting him. Your tongue was heavenly on him, and he grasped your hair in his hands, bucking into you. You moan around him, taking him to the back of your throat. He grunts at your attentions, grasp tightening. You pull away for a moment, taking deep breathes before looking him in the eye and taking him further into your mouth. You reach the patch of hair at his base, the tip of his cock hitting the furthest parts of your throat.

"O-oh. Fuck-" Hearing him lose his sense of self, and the fact he uttered an expletive made you feverish, and you began to deepthroat him, ushering him to thrust into your mouth. He takes advantage of your wants, thrusting into you. Your hands move upwards, fondling his heavy sack. Without warning he thrusts deep, finishing in your throat. You swallow as much as you could, the taste of him tart but delicious; you want more. You continue to suck and bob up and down his member, until he cums again, shaking and groaning loudly. You pull off of him, gathering the cum and spittle that leaked from your mouth and putting it back in your mouth, savouring him. He watches you with hunger. He sits up and growls, exciting you. His eyes glow amber, and without warning he transforms into a brown cave bear. You bite your lip at the transformation, aroused by his show of strength. He transforms back into his elvish form, stumbling.

"I-I'm so sorry, I transform when my baser... urges become too much." You shake your head, before sitting down and spreading your legs. Your hand spreads your cunt open, and he watches how your thighs and lips glisten with arousal.

"Breed me, my bear." His eyes flash golden again, but he refrains from transforming again. His arms grasp your thighs and pull them to your shoulders. You're bent in half, and the tip of his still very hard cock is poking at your entrance.

"Please Halsin. Take me. Make me yours." You tell him, urging him to thrust into you. He grunts and thrusts into you with one stroke, burying himself to the hilt. Your back arches off the sand, breasts pressed against his chest. Your lips meet again, teeth clashing at the force of your kisses. His thrusts are rough, and he continues to hit that sweet spot. You keen in his mouth, and he chuckles breathlessly. He continues his pace, hitting that spot effortlessly each time. His hips grind against your clit with each thrust, and your body is overstimulated quickly. You know you will not last long, his passion and accuracy in driving you wild bringing you closer to your precipice.

His lips leave yours, before latching onto your neck and biting you. You caterwaul at the action, gripping his triceps tightly. Your nails are digging into the skin, but he does not care. He is selfish in this moment, wishing you would stay like this with him forever, until the world has disintegrated around them. He removes his teeth from your neck, before his lips latch onto your nipple and suckle from them. Its too much, and you arch your back painfully as you finish. Your constricting walls bring him to completion, your cunt milking his cock. You whimper as you feel his heavy load inside you, leaking around his cock. He thrusts again, and both of you seize with sensitivity. He pulls out of you gently, before laying down next to you. His arm pulls you onto his chest, and you bask in his warmth.

"I'm sorry." He whispers to you. Your head snaps up to look at him. He looks upset, his brows furrowed.

"What's wrong, my bear?" He shakes his head.

"I'm selfish. I'm afraid for the sun's rise for that may take you away from me forever. I... I do not want to let you go, my love." Your eyes get misty, and your hug him fiercely.

"Why apologize? If I could I'd spend eternity in your embrace." His arms wrap around you, holding you to him tightly.

"But you cannot." He whispers. A tear leaves your eyes.

"I'm afraid not. But I can promise to come to you again. When the wind wafts the smell of lavender and marigolds in the air, that will be me calling to you." He closes his eyes and savours his last moments with you.

"Then let us enjoy what time we have left." You nod, wiping your tears from your eyes.

Until sunrise, he spends his time with you in silence, basking in your company. He has never felt such loss when the person has not left his embrace. This time with you has changed him, and he does not know how he can continue his devotion and duties after meeting you. When the dawn breaks, you're moving out of his arms, heartbroken.

"I will visit you as soon as I can." You promise him, getting dressed in your dryadic dress. He pulls his clothes onto his body, which has become cold without your touch.

"I will not forget this moment with you-" He pauses, frowning at his realization. "And… What is your name?" He asks you, cringing as he realizes his poor manners. You look over your shoulder, smiling gently as the sun hits your body.

"(Y/N). Hopefully fate allows us another moment together, my handsome bear." You disappear with a flourish, fully bloomed lavender and marigolds left where you were standing. Y/N… Your name is sweet on his tongue, sweeter than the taste of you. He can never forget a name as sweet as yours, a name that will probably stay branded on his brain until his last breathe.

THE END.

If you'd like to request anything, please do so! I'm getting back into writing and I'd love to write anything inspired by the people! Send requests here: LINK Baldur's Gate 3 Masterlist: LINK

[astarionancuntnin]

Undisclosed Desires (Chapter 2)

summary: its the day after you and astarion indulged in each other's embrace. it shouldve been a once done deal, nothing more, but that last night ended with you questioning your feelings for the pale elf. you struggle to come to terms with those and the day might prove more difficult as you get trapped alone with him in a secluded dungeon

or in short:

rating: E

word count: 4k

pairing: astarion x you (fem!reader, sorceress tav)

cw: 18+. smut, porn with little-to-no plot, karlach gets hurt for the sake of the porn (shes doing her part o7), denial of feelings, sexual tension through the roof, dom!tav/reader, teasing, dry humping, begging, ear licking, vampire bites, kinda praise kink, sorta breeding kink, your honor- theyre both brat switches fighting to top the other.

a/n: at long last, chapter 2! i had so much fun with the dialogues, i hope you enjoy them as much as i did uwu. also, inspo song at the beginning is the same as chapter 1, but a different part of the song, and end of chapter song is a different one (that i linked at the end). let me know how you feel about the dynamic in this chapter 👀

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I shut my eyes

You call but I just cut the line

I know your style

I know that you want one more night

And I'm backsliding

Into this just one more time

-

You wake up this morning to the sound of your companions talking nearby. Instinctively, you reach for the spot next to you, only to find it empty. Figures. If it wasn’t for the aching pain in your muscles and the dizziness of your mind, you’d think what happened last night was just a dream.

The way Astarion had ravaged your body, how feral he was, the taste of him on your lips, how he felt between your legs…

Instinctively, you rub your thighs together, chasing the feeling from the previous night. You already feel that warmth between your legs as a result of those memories flooding back to you. You hear laughing outside your tent and it brings you back to the present moment ; your companions are probably waiting for you.

You quickly push aside any thoughts of him and reach for your clothes to get dressed up for the day. You take some time to prepare for what your companions have to say about the sounds that came from your tent last night. They had to have heard.

As you take your first step outside, Karlach is the first to greet you.

“Hey Soldier! Slept well? Doubt it was restful but it looks like you had the time of your life!” She nudges you.

“You can say that again! Those screams made me believe she was dying in there!” Shadowheart shouts, sitting near the campfire, before her and Karlach start laughing.

You feel yourself turn redder after each remark. Hells, I didn’t realize how loud I was.

“It did sound… intense. Are you sure you’re alright?” Wyll speaks up, more worried about you.

You lift your blushing face which was hiding in shame between your hands. “Oh, yeah no, I’m fine just- um,” you turn to Shadowheart, “Can I ask you to cast lesser restoration on me, please?”

She looks at you puzzled, “Can’t you cast it on yourself?”

“The only thing I wanna cast on myself at this very moment is eldritch blast, now, can you please cast the damn spell?”

“So much for the ‘great sorceress with limitless talents’,” she mocks you, reminding you of the very words you used back when you introduced yourself to her.

“SHADOW.”

“Fine, fine,” she scoots over the log, making space for you. “Come here, I’ll take care of you.”

You walk over to her and you sigh as you sit down, completely slouched over.

“Gods, he really did a number on you, huh,” she casts lesser restoration and you straighten up, instantly feeling much better. 

“Yeah, you should see the other guy,” you say, smiling, proud to have gained back your wits.

“Speaking of,” Wyll interjects. “We haven’t seen him all morning. We fully expected him to come out of your tent.”

“Huh, I did wake up alone,” you confess. “I just assumed he went back to his tent.”

“Heh! Maybe he’s still in there recuperating from your night together!” Karlach shouts, before laughing some more.

“Alright, alright, I’ll go check up on him,” you roll your eyes as you get up to walk towards his tent.

You’re glad it’s placed far enough from the campfire to be out of your friend’s sights. You didn’t want to give them more ideas if they saw you with the vampire this morning. You call out his name before opening the flap of his tent, only to reveal it to be empty. 

“Looking for something?”

You slightly jump, as if you were caught doing something you shouldn’t have, and quickly turn around to face him.

“Gods, you startled me.”

He walks towards you, shirtless, with his hair still damp from his morning bathing and his trousers hanging loosely around his hips.

“Terribly sorry dear, I would never do this to you intentionally.”

His little smile is unnerving. Your heartbeat quickens, and you frown at yourself; You can’t allow yourself to falter this early in the day. You take a deep breath, your way to gain back control over yourself. 

“We’re almost ready to leave, so I came looking for you,” you try to look elsewhere but you’re mesmerized by his sight.

“Well, here I am now. Can I… help you with something?”

He raises his hand and strokes your cheek gently with the back of it, his face dangerously getting near yours. You feel your face burning hotter and it takes everything in you to push yourself away from him.

“We should really go, just– get dressed. I’ll uh, I’ll wait for you around the campfire with the others.”

You turn around completely flustered and walk back to your companions.

“Again?!” Karlach exclaims as she sees the state you’re in. “At this rate, you’ll turn redder than me!”

You wanna crawl into the depths of the hells and never come back up.

—

Today’s quest brings you to a secluded dungeon. Your findings from the previous days led you there in search for more information about an artifact you previously found throughout your adventure. If you’re correct, you should find here what’s missing for it to work. Now the only thing left to do is actually finding that missing piece.

With a swift flick of his wrist, Astarion opens the door to the lower grounds. As the door opens, you’re greeted by damp air and a musty smell. The place is dusty and covered in spiderwebs. Whatever you’re looking for must be here judging by the fact that no one has been down here in ages. You all walk in and notice that the place is a damned maze filled with countless rooms. You split up from the group, starting the search on your own, and the first room you walk in greets you with an absurdly obvious trap. You sigh, discouraged, as you fall back against the wall next to the entrance. Guess I won’t be able to avoid him much longer.

“Astarion? A hand?!” Your voice echoes through the hallways, followed by the sound of his footsteps.

He makes his way towards you nonchalantly, “You called, dear?”

“Can you take care of this?” You point towards the device.

He leans over you, his arms caging you between him and the wall, “I could, if you were to ask nicely.” His face hovers dangerously close to you, you can feel his cold breaths ghosting over your lips. It would be so easy to just tilt your head up and close the gap… No, you can’t let him win this. Last night was just a mutual agreement. An exchange of sorts. Nothing more, nothing less.

You cross your arms over your chest, creating some distance between the two of you, “Don’t push your luck.”

“Oh well, I assume you know how to deal with such an intricate mechanism then, if you’re so much better than I am?”, he wears his typical shit-eating grin.

You roll your eyes and step over your pride, “Fine. Can you please disarm this trap so we can carry on?” 

“See? Now, was that so hard?” He gives you a playful look before getting to work.

You stand next to him as he fickles with the machinery when you hear a loud commotion from afar.

“FUCK!”

You recognize the voice from your fiery friend and waste no time running towards the source of her scream, only to find her in a terrible state with Shadowheart kneeling next to her. Her leg is barely recognizable. Whatever got her rendered her unable to fight from now on.

“What happened?!”

“Godsdamned trap got me, shit!” She keeps groaning in pain.

“Alright, Shadowheart, do you think you can take care of her wounds?”

“I can stabilize her, but she won’t be able to carry on with her injuries, we need to head back to camp as soon as possible so I can tend to her,” she explains.

“Okay, okay,” your eyes wander between your friends as you’re thinking of a solution. “Yeah, okay, you’re right, I’m not risking Karlach’s life on this,” the cleric nods in agreement, “But we can’t back track now. Who knows what else this trap triggered, it might’ve alarmed someone. We are so close to finding the answer, I can't risk letting it slip past us.”

Shadowheart raises as she’s about to argue but you cut her off, “Don’t worry, I still believe you two should head to the camp. Astarion and I will carry on.” You feel Shadowheart’s glare of disapproval. “I swear we’ll be careful and we’ll run back to you guys should we encounter a situation that's too much for us.” You try to reassure your friend.

“Oooooooo, keeping Fangs all to yourself?” Karlach never missed an opportunity to tease you, even when in insufferable pain. You could respect that.

“Oh please, if it were up to me, he would be the one in that trap.”

“Rude,” Astarion remarks from behind you. You can’t help the smirk creeping up on your face.

“Fine,” the half-elf frowns in resignation. “We’ll head back– but don’t do anything stupid.”

“We wouldn’t dream of it,” Astarion adds sarcastically, as the two walk away.

With half of your party gone, you lose no time continuing your research. You didn’t want to spend any more time than necessary with half the manpower in unknown territory. You pass a few halls and rooms, each containing an absurd amount of traps for what little they were hiding, slowly getting discouraged from your lack of findings, when you hear rumble afar.

You both still, listening to the sounds, when you realize they are making their way towards you. 

“Hide!”, you barely whisper.

Before he can react, you roughly drag Astarion with you in the next open room and slam the door behind you. You acted faster than you could think ; the sound of the door was loud and the footsteps are now getting faster and louder. You try to remain calm to avoid drawing any more attention than necessary when you see the expression change on your companion’s face, followed by him yelling.

“What in the sweet hells is wrong with–!”

You don’t give him time to finish his sentence as you push him against the stone wall by his waist with the force of your whole body, while your other hand covers his mouth. You stare intensely into his eyes and mouth a “shh”, as silent as you can, to convey the urgency for him to shut up as the rumble of the footsteps get even closer to your location. He blinks rapidly and nods, understanding your motion, but brings his hand up to remove yours from his mouth. You hear the footsteps stop nearby and your heart pounding in your chest as your breathing stills. Your eyes dart towards the door, anxiety building up in your chest. Anything could be outside. You cannot risk getting into a fight you couldn’t handle. Against his own good, Astarion speaks up yet again.

“Let’s just kill–”

And you shut him up, again. 

This time, with a kiss.

It’s a surprise to both of you. It was sudden, instinctive. You’re not sure what took over you, but at this moment, it seemed to be the best course of action. You stay motionless for a moment before pulling away, slowly. You hear the sounds outside your room getting further away and you finally breathe out in relief. He looks at you with an annoying smile painted over his face.

You notice him observing you. “You really need to learn when to shut up,” you say, a poor excuse to try and justify your actions, as a blush takes place over your cheeks.

His lidded eyes observe your lips before making eye contact again, “And you think you know better?”

“I know I do,” you frown slightly. 

He keeps smiling, that damn annoyingly confident smile. “I’m afraid you’ll have to teach me, then. I’ve been known to be awfully loud.”

You scoff. The audacity of this man.

Initially, that first kiss was never supposed to lead to anything else. It was spontaneous, a means to an end, just like your last night spent together. Anything to stop him from talking, whatever would save you from being found. But you couldn’t deny the feelings that fluttered in your stomach, the butterflies in your chest. 

He continues, his words dripping with sarcasm, “I’m sure a sorceress of your expertise must have some way to silence a noisy rogue like myself.”

You realize then : all along, you didn’t hate him, you hated the fact that you were attracted to him, to that damn attitude of his. Truth is, you couldn’t have enough of that banter between the two of you. Every morning, that was the thing you were looking forward to. There was no denying yourself anymore ; you chased the feeling of arguing with this overblown, pretentious asshole. You wanted him, in more ways than one, and in any way he would offer himself to you.

“I can think of a few tricks,” you lean over him the same way he did you earlier, your faces barely an inch apart.

“Try me,” his voice is barely a whisper by now.

You let your feelings guide your next move as you pull him in by the collar of his armor, crashing your lips against his. If he saw this as a game, you intended to win. As the kiss depends, you’re taken back to that scenario you played in your head the night before, prior to Astarion’s visit.

At the next corner, you would’ve pushed him by the waist against the nearest wall and shut his pretty mouth up. 

Your kiss started out rough, but it quickly became passionate, it engulfed both of you into a world of your own. His hands roamed up your back and down your waist, pulling you in closer, reaching for more contact. Your sorcerer robe allowed for you to feel how tightly he grabbed you and yet, it didn’t feel like enough. You wished for nothing more than having your skin being ravished by his touch.

You would’ve taken the chance to let one of your hands roam through his silky smooth, curly hair, pulling it enough to get a moan out of him. 

Oh, and how soft it was. Freshly washed from this morning, his curls felt like silk through your fingers. You let your hands linger in his hair, combing through it, before lightly pulling it back. He groans in your mouth as a response, not parting from your lips just yet, and you smile through it.

How you would’ve parted his legs with your own, and grinded against his crotch, feeling his growing bulge.

You easily push yourself between his legs and grind against him. He pulls back from your kiss then, gasping in surprise. With the threat outside the room being long gone, you welcomed any noise you would get out of him. You feel his cock getting harder against your leg and you keep rubbing him up and down, creating more pressure over his member. He rests his head on your shoulder, breathing hard, his hold on you getting tighter. 

“Hells, darling, I didn’t think you had it in you,” he pants.

“Mmh, seems like I’ve got a lot more to teach you then.”

You reach for your trousers under your robe, letting them fall down after loosening  your belt, before reaching for his, pulling them down just low enough to expose his cock which is already leaking with pre-come. He hisses when you grab a hold of him, your mere touch sending shivers down his spine.

You smirk at the visible reaction he has to you, feeling powerful over him. Such a contrast compared to your last night tryst. This time, you were guiding this dance.

You guide him towards your entrance, only to grind yourself over him. He slides so easily between your wet folds and you can’t help the moan escaping your lips. The friction over your clit is nothing short of euphoric. You swing your hips back and forth, coating his length with your arousal, as he holds onto your waist for dear life. You grab his face and pull him closer so your foreheads touch, then take a moment to admire the mess you’re making of him, and by the Gods, what a pretty mess he was. His parted lips, gasping between each stroke you would allow him, his eyes fluttering open, lost in the feeling of your thighs squeezing him, his roughed up curls from the sweat building up on his forehead. 

He was beautiful.

You feel him moving on his own, trying to change positions so he has more control, but it's not something you will allow this time. You take his hands from your waist and push them against the wall he was leaning against, never stopping the rhythm you had going on. 

“What do you think you're doing?” Your voice is coated with desire.

“Please, let me in,” he begs.

“Do you think you deserve it?”, you say, playfully.

“Gods, I– yes, yes I do!”, he whines.

“Beg more.”

“What?! I will not–”, before he can finish his sentence, you reach for his ear with your tongue and give it a lick from the base to the tip. “Mmmgh ah, fuck–” 

“What was that?” You nibble on his ear.

“I– Ah–,” his entire resolve crumbles. “Please, love, I need you please,”  he begs again, his voice faltering.

You continue to lick and nibble on his ear. “See? Now, was that so hard?” you tease, using his own words against him.

“Oh, you little– ah–!”

You cut him off as you raise your leg to hook it to his hips allowing you for a better angle as you push him inside you slowly. You’re so wet from teasing him that he slides in without any resistance.

You throw your head back, taking in the feeling of him filling you, and at the vision of your exposed neck, Astarion leans in the crook of your neck, bared fangs scratching the spot he previously fed from you. You feel his cold breath along with the wetness of his tongue, lapping at your healed wound. You sense what he wants to do and although you crave it and you would let him do it, you don’t wanna give in so easily.

You stop all motion and with him buried deep inside of you, your hand lingering in his hair grabs a handful of curls to pull him back, away from your prized neck, holding him in place. 

He growls insistently, his true nature coming back to him.

“Give me one good reason,” you tug harder.

Through his ragged breath, he smiles playfully, “I just wanted a snack for the road.”

“You drank last night, you don’t need it,” your tone comes out raspy and aggressive despite your enjoyment of the situation.

“But you want this,” he pauses, watching your reaction. Your answer isn’t spoken, as much as it’s seen : your chest rises higher with each panting breath you take, your eyes flutter, drunk on lust, and your core is dripping wet, your combined fluids leaking against your leg. “Don't you?” He knows both of you know it's a fight for control. 

You thrust roughly, once, to reassert your position over him, making him whimper. “And just what makes you think that?”

He locks eyes with you, a grin painting over his face. “You seemed to enjoy it last time.”

“Hardly.”

“My dear, you can deny it all you want, but I can read you like an open book.”

You hated how he always managed to have the last word. One day, you tell yourself, It’ll be me. But for now…

“Shut up and bite me.”

The second you let go of your grasp in his hair, Astarion dives in the nook of your neck, plunging his fangs in your pulsating vein. You cry out at the sharp sting you feel and once the initial pain settles in, you pick back up the rhythm you had earlier, making the elf groan as he drinks you in. He was right, his bites had the effect of an aphrodisiac on you. You would never tell him though, his ego was inflated enough as is, admitting it would only make him more insufferable than he already is.

His hold on you became tighter and the more he drank, the less your strength allowed you to keep your position, but the build up down your stomach only grew. You didn't want to falter so close to the end.

“Astarion…” you warn him.

He growls against your neck and takes one last sip of your liquid gold before removing his fangs from you, licking off the new wound he created to clean you up. That's something else you could appreciate from the vampire ; no matter how selfish you found him, he did seem to respect the boundaries you established. He would absolutely push all of your buttons but when it came to sex he seemed more attentive, responsive. You never wanted to fall for him, but your heart had other plans.

You cross your arms around his neck, closing any remaining distance between your two bodies and with all the energy left in you, you thrust harder, and faster, letting yourself get lost in the overwhelming feeling he provided between your legs. Now that you had experienced him once, you craved getting filled up by him, only him, as much as possible, as much as he wanted to. You wanted to be his. 

“Darling, I’m close–”

“Come, let go for me,” you breathe in his ear before licking him again. “You’re so pretty when you come inside me.”

Your last words combined with the stimulation you’ve given him trigger his collapse in your arms. He grasps your hips vigorously, pulling you flush against him, allowing him to unload himself deep inside of your womb. You fall over the edge shortly after, drinking in the feeling of his semen filling you up. You fantasized constantly about being filled to the brim by him. Used over and over again, leaking from his seed, the act merely done to defile you in his image. You clench around his length, your legs shaking as you picture yourself overflowing with his come and ride out the wave of electrifying pleasure that courses through you.

As you come down from your high and let your leg down, you reach for something to grab a hold of so as to not completely fall over. Astarion had completely slouched over the wall you fucked him over, he was not an option. The nearest thing that seemed solid enough was an empty torch holder placed right next to the door which you grab without second thoughts. The last thing you expected was for it to pull down as you grabbed it. Even less that it opened a secret trap door in the middle of the room, from which a pillar came out of. You stay in place for a moment, piecing together what just happened, with Astarion making eye contact with you, just as puzzled as you were.

Before you now stands an altar with a very clearly placed piece of dark metal, shaped strangely like the pattern you remember being described in the previous document you found. You put your trousers back on, dismissing the mess between your legs, and grab the missing piece, connecting it to the artifact you held, to see it click in place.

“No fucking way.”

Astarion smirks, as if he was responsible for your discovery, proud of himself, “Wouldn’t have found that out with Karlach now, would you?”

He will never let you live this down.

-

When you're around me, I'm radioactive

My blood is burning, radioactive

I'm turning radioactive

My blood is radioactive

My heart is nuclear

Love is all that I fear

[rey-jake-therapist]

Haladriel : power play

I keep reading that Sauron didn't stop manipulate Galadriel for all season 1, that she's a poor victim, that she was abused by the big bad guy, yada yada.... It's false. Lol sorry but for most of season 1, it was Galadriel who pulled all the strings and Sauron, though reluctant at the beginning because he wanted to stay in Numenor and take the path of repentance, was happy to play along. "She wants me to be a king ? Alright, I'll be her king. Let it be my GIFT to her." The Lord of gifts is back, baby !

This dynamic changed during the finals though. I find Haladriel fascinating because there's always one who tops and the other who sorry, one who leads and the other who follows. In season 1, it was clearly Galadriel who was the leader in their dynamic. Can't escape the sexual metaphor I'm afraid 🤣, she was basically the dom. She gave orders, antagonized everyone starting with him, manipulated both him and Miriel, lied, gained time...

And he just happily followed, basically, mostly amused by this little young Elf (yeah she was baby if you think of it, Sauron's ancient lol) who bossed everyone around and thought she knew everything. I don't think he expected her to use his own tricks on him, and he was pretty much upset first because she was tempting him into a path he didn't want to go back to (oh the irony of Sauron being tempted into doing something bad...), but I think he was also impressed. He had just told her a couple of hours before how to use people's greatest fears to control them, and here she was.... Just doing it. On him !! The temptation to give her a good spank while whispering congratulation words for being such a good listener must have been.... Very strong.

The dynamic started to change the day Galadriel suspected Halbrand was not who she thought he was. One thing I always wondered is : did Sauron hope that Celebrimbor would repeat these words, "power over flesh", in front of Galadriel, because he wanted to prepare her for the revelation he intended to make when the rings would be ready ?

Anyway, to me the dynamic changed at this very moment :

I wrote a meta dedicated to "Sauron, Galadriel and touching" here. At the risk of sounding like a pretentious person who loves to hear her own voice, I'll do something I never do, quote myself :

Now, back to Sauron. While during all season 1 he was never touchy with Galadriel, in episode 8, he suddenly is. Not only that but he's also very flirtatious, like... more than usual. Galadriel seems surprised with this unsolicited touching, and iffy, because she doesn't trust him anymore. She has just asked one of her fellow Elves to look in the catacombs of Eregion for everything they had about the Southlands and their royal lineage; after she heard Celebrimbor talk about "power over flesh" and seen Sauron enthusiastically offer his aid to the smith, she starts suspecting that Halbrand may be not who he claims to be. Coincidence ? I think not. Even if she remained discreet, Sauron probably felt that something was off. He's very observant, and he knows her mind. If she changed of attitude with him, if she seemed even a little bit wary of him, there's no doubt he noticed it. He certainly planned to tell her the truth about him very soon, at that point, but he also wants the rings to be forged so he could show her what they'd do with them. So this, imho, is Sauron buying time. He knows she's attracted to him, he may even know she's in love with him... I think he's trying to breach her defenses, here.

Like I said in my linked post, so far Sauron never touched Galadriel umprompted. It is a first. And he was flirtatious before, but the way he leans in to whisper in her ear... That's something else. It's Sauron turning the tables and taking control of their dynamic. After this scene, up until the fight, we only see Galadriel in a retreat position, literally sidelined while Sauron found himself a new playmate (Celebrimbor), and she can do nothing but observe what is happening; she can't reveal her doubts as long as she doesn't get the confirmation she asked for. Of course, she hates it.

Then the finals. Galadriel confronts Sauron, who not only doesn't deny anything, but makes fun of her previous claim that she's much older than he is, by revealing he's himself older than the world. Notice how their behavior has changed, compared to how they were during the previous episodes : he's the one being sure of himself and controlling the situation, while she's confused and has lost all her composure, as all her certainties fall into crumbles.

Then she tries to stab him, but he effortlessly parries her attack.

Then she loses consciousness as he takes literal control of her mind. Starting from here, and up until the one, he's the dom dominating the situation ! He masquerades as her brother to manipulate her feelings, then brings her back to the raft, appeals to her temptation for power, offers her the moon and more. Then when she refuses, he makes himself indispensable by reminding her that without him, her people are doomed, presses where it hurts ("they cast you out"), and appeals to her pride ("what will they do when you tell them that you were my ally ?").

NOW that's some manipulation. Only then, did we get a glimpse of the tactics he would use on Celebrimbor in season 2.

As for their dynamics in season 2 finals, do I really need to spell it out ?

Galadriel tries to reverse the dynamics when she kicks Sauron in the face and tells him "the door shut", but ultimate fails. Oh, wait, does she ?

Galadriel almost gives in to Sauron in this finals. I know it's a popular interpretation that she was totally faking it when she took off Nenya and handed it to him, but it simply doesn't make sense with the music and the atmosphere of this scene. And if the "new bond" theory is true, it makes it even more impossible because there's no way she could pretend anything while being newly bound to Sauron. She looks captivated and ready to give in because she is, imho. This is her "last temptation". And Sauron believes that as well, because he saw it in her mind. He believes he won her over, because he almost did, indeed.

He looks so happy, I could almost feel sorry for him... What Sauron wanted Galadriel to understand, was that he wanted to heal Middle-Earth, to let him do that by giving him Nenya. He looks so happy here because he believes he has achieved that, at last.

I think Galadriel is also convinced that he wants to heal Middle-Earth, but she can never approve his methods, so... She lets herself fall off the cliff to escape him and by doing so, reverses the dynamics and takes power again, even at the risk of losing her life in the process. Sacrificing yourself not to let your toxic ex win you over is the ultimate power move if you ask me.

I know there's a new popular theory that wants Nenya to be the one who made Galadriel snap out of it, but sorry, I strongly disagree with this idea. One, because it takes off Galadriel's agency : she was saved by Elrond, saved by Arondir, and now Nenya ? I can't deny it's a personal bias as I want Galadriel to save herself in this one, and I won't go and claim it as a fact.. but sorry, it's a no for me. I've been told about the "Nenya sound" playing during this scene. Well, precisely, this sound tells me exactly the opposite of this theory, because it is heard when Galadriel is handing Nenya to Sauron, and stops exactly when she snaps out of it to say "Heal yourself".

It seems to me that Nenya wanted to go to Sauron, and not the other way around. Sauron said, "the rings are mine". I thought for a while that he meant only the Nine, but no, he considers that all the rings, including the Elven ones, are his. He thinks of himself as "their master". But he also knows that Nenya picked Galadriel as her bearer (or was it him ?), so she's also Galadriel's ring. That's why he wants her to give Nenya to him, as a sign of submission to him. The way I see it, when he asked Galadriel to give him Nenya, he expected Nenya to push her in this direction, and I think that's what Nenya indeed did, hence the sound.

Except that Galadriel resisted. It left Sauron confused. Then he thought about the Dwarves rings, whose owners also refused to be controlled by him even though he had more input in the creation of their rings than he had in the Elven ones'. So he will forge the One Ring, that will allow him, he believes, to take such a tight control on his rings that their bearers will no longer be able to resist him. The Elves will realize that pretty fast and will reluctanctly take off their rings, for all the time that Sauron will wear the One Ring.

"But the Elves were not so lightly to be caught. As soon as Sauron set the One Ring upon his finger they were aware of him; and they knew him, and perceived that he would be master of them, and of all that they wrought. Then in anger and fear they took off their rings." [The Silmarillion].

Interesting fact : the One Ring never seeme to affect the Dwarves. Their rings made them more greedy than they already were, but forging the One Ring didn't allow Sauron to control them. It has been suggested that it could be because they weren't aware of its power/didn't understand it :

The Dwarves used their Seven Rings to establish their treasure hoards, but Sauron was unable to force the Dwarven bearers to submit. It is believed that the dwarves' natural hardiness, and the fact that it was only the more powerful dwarf lords who possessed them, made them resistant to Sauron's control, yet allowed them to accumulate treasure. The final ring to leave the possession of the dwarves occurred when Thráin II was captured. Source

If a Tolkien expert is in the room and can provide some context, it'd be very nice...

Funny how Galadriel's "I resisted" sounds delusional in retrospect. She really believes she did, doesn't she ? She believes that, because when Sauron offered her to be his queen (a fact which for *cough* some reasons *cough* she chose to hide from Elrond, Gil-Galad and of course, Adar himself...), she said 'no'.

The thing is, she indeed vocally resisted to the temptation of joining him, but everything she did afterwards showed Galadriel actually doing exactly what he wanted her to do.

I mean, who wanted rings ? Sauron. She knew that Sauron worked for Celebrimbor for weeks, knew he was the one who came up with the idea of a "power over flesh", knew it was his idea to tap into the unseen world, knew he had put his evil hands literally everywhere in the forge, including the mithril and her own dagger... And yet, she.... wait, she did exactly what Sauron disguised as Finrod told her to !

Sauron wanted these rings to be made, and she complied. To paraphrase Elrond, she gave him what he wanted and thanked him for that, I mean look at how happy she was to have a ring :

And if you're not convinced, there's the forewarning vision of Celebrimbor that Galadriel had in early S2, with Sauron calling her name and Celebrimbor asking her "are these not the seeds you planted ?", before being suffocated to death by roots looking like snakes :

There are no subtitles for what Celebrimbor said in black speech so here's the translation :

"Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky, Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone, Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die"

This vision showed almost exactly what would happen: the rings that Sauron would forge, and Celebrimbor's death. Even the way he dies in the vision is identical to his actual death. Galadriel believes it's a warning sent by Nenya and that she has to go to Eregion to save Celebrimbor, but wasn't it another trick of Sauron, who as Elrond suggested, probably wanted her in Eregion ?

I was divided on this point until the finals really, where Sauron turned into Celebrimbor and repeated the exact same sentence she had heard in the vision: "Aren't they the seeds you planted ?".

How could Sauron know about that, if he wasn't the one who sent her the vision ? For the record, it wasn't a mind palace case like in season 1, where he invaded Galadriel's mind and used her memories of her brother. Halbrand's words, her own words, they all came from his memories. So in all logic, so did vision Celebrimbor's.

Sauron also wanted Galadriel not to reveal his identity : check.

Instead of telling Celebrimbor and Elrond the truth about Halbrand, she just inexplicably chose to keep her mouth shut, and left Eregion without informing Celebrimbor that the nice human he had worked with for weeks was actually Sauron, the Great Deceiver. She rather took the risk of letting Sauron come back in Eregion (I mean, telling Celebrimbor not to work with Halbrand again wasn't enough of a warning, be serious Gal !), than admit she had let a demon in his walls ; because of her pride, exactly as Sauron wanted. This bastard looked so smug about it when he realized she had done exactly what he expected her to :

If she had told Celebrimbor the truth, he would have never been allowed to even pass the door. This tolerance told him everything he needed to know.

But apart from that... She "resisted".

I'm very curious to see what will be the dynamics for season 3. Who will lead the dance this time ? My bet is on Galadriel.

[iamnmbr3]

Great answers! I do love the idea of Sirius as DADA teacher!

Here's another one for you: rank these characters from worst to best for the post of Minister of Magic

Albus Dumbledore

Lucius Malfoy

Sirius Black (again cause I love him and I read a fic about this once)

Minerva McGonagall

Barty Crouch Sr.

oh god. these clowns would all be such terrible minsters of magic. why are you doing this to me? ok fine. here goes.

Lucius Malfoy: I think because movie!Lucius was sort of toned down and defanged fandom sometimes forget what a nasty piece of work book!Lucius was before he had his downfall and got all sad and pathetic. Fanon!Lucius often gets turned into kind of a joke but book!Lucius was out there torturing muggles for fun by night while he had the ear of the Minister by day and was, seemingly, extremely adept at subtly spreading his pureblood supremacist agenda in government. (Honestly, better at it than Tom because unlike Tom he actually cared). Also in book 4 it's very clear that if he had gotten hold of Hermione - a fourteen year old child - on the World Cup grounds he would've attacked her without hesitation (been eager for it, in fact). Yeah he wasn't down with Voldemort's whole thing but that was more because of the effect it had on him personally. with Voldemort out of the picture he was top dog and he was doing just fine. All this to say, as Minister the policies he enacts are...not good to say the least. He'd be out there building a violent pureblood supremacist dictatorship in a heartbeat.

Albus Dumbledore: Albus says he can't be trusted with the power of being Minister and honestly...I believe him. He'd still play the same messed up manipulation games he plays in canon but on a much larger scale (while simultaneously feeling bad about it and telling himself it's for the greater good). He does some truly epic mental gymnastics to convince himself he needs to make himself dictator for life and then things spiral because obviously anyone who resists him is evil right? Right? Of course! The alternative is that he is wrong and he doesn't want to think about that. Also, he doesn't seem that bothered by house elf slavery and his ideas for getting nonhuman magical creatures on his side in canon seemed to involve asking nicely but not actually granting them rights. So I'm not super optimistic on that front. So yeah. This just turns into the whole of wizarding Britain getting gaslit and thrown into insane situations by a madman who seems so wholesome and lovable and yet... Also. Given how poorly organized the Order is I think it's safe to say that all other flaws aside, the man does not have a gift for management.

Barty Crouch Sr.: Listen. He ALSO sucks. Very clearly ok with slavery, not a fan of due process, and allowed Aurors to torture confessions out of suspects. His only saving grace is that he does love rules so he'd probably eventually step down and wouldn't make as many potentially damaging changes as Dumbledore.

Minerva McGonagall: Her no nonsense attitude ensures that any meeting she runs actually accomplishes things. She's smart. She's sane. She's stable. She doesn't care about ending slavery or changing the status quo, but she's a lot better than most of the options. She's not especially creative or good at political games though which often hampers her ability to carry out objectives and prevent bad actors (i.e. Lucius and his faction) from getting their way.

Sirius Black: What does the man who hates authority do when he finds himself in a position of ultimate authority? I don't know but I'd love to read about it! Sirius is actually pretty shrewd (contrary to fanon) and I think he'd actually turn out to be a natural at handling politics (much as he might hate it). He also understands traditional pureblood society (he is a Black after all) but he doesn't idolize it (he hates being a Black) which would allow him to understand and work with multiple factions. Additionally he can be forceful and authoritative. He's impatient, often biased and unfair, sometimes quite cruel, can be temperamental, and again, has 0 problem with slavery. So like. He's not good per say, but he's actually better than some of the others. (At least with him meetings are never dull because if he gets bored enough he just turns into a dog and eats the agenda).

[lemonsprite]

Hello can I ask for BG3 Halsin x reader?

Usually people depict the reader as ageless but I was wondering if you can do anything with a reader that's also up in their 300s? They could probably relate on many thing that come with a long lifespan and stuff

Thanks and have a nice day (I know this is like probably brainless time from me but the summer heat is getting me my brain left me)

Thank you guys for all the Halsin ideas I luv my bear husband TT

𝐎𝐥𝐝 𝐞𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 || 𝐇𝐚𝐥𝐬𝐢𝐧 𝐱 𝐆𝐍! 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

Summary: Halsin can’t remember the last time he’s met someone like you

Word Count:

Warnings: NOT BETA READ!!! nothing!! Just pure silliness

A/N: I had SUCH bad writers block with this one so I apologize if it’s actual doodoo TT but I love writing the bg3 party dynamic sm ugh

Halsin was used to being a pile of dust when compared to all his friends and companions. Despite only being in the middle stages of his life for an elf, he’d lived much longer than those around him.

Part of that knowledge made his heart ache in a weird bittersweet mixture of emotions. Living as long as he did caused him to see the rise of fall of friends and lovers and there was nothing he could do about it. It seemed like a cycle he was doomed too, one that would unfold the same as always.

Halsin knew almost no elves the same absurdly old age as him.

“Karlach I don’t think the camp really needs another cantaloue… we haven’t even finished the other two Wyll bought three days ago…” chided Halsin, placing a hand on top of Karlach’s and slowly guiding the round fruit in her hands back into the market stall.

“Yeah but mate, what’s gonna happen when shadowheart gets her midnight cravings and eats both cantaloupes in one night?” Pouted Karlach, gripping tightly to the fruit. “What will I eat then…? If you think about it… this purchase is just a tactical strategy…”

Halsin gave her a look, one he was all too familiar with when dealing with those much younger and less wise than him.

Karlach sighed and dropped the cantaloupe, making her way to another stall that sold hand made yarn woven weapon sheaths. (Not the best in terms of practicality but very aesthetically pleasing)

“Do you have this in a size Large?” Asked a voice and before Halsin could catch himself, he found his gaze landing on the stranger beside him. Also an elf from what he could tell with their pointed ears.

“The smithy by the Rivington general store sells the same armour for a cheaper price.” Suggested Halsin, moving slightly closer to the new bystander.

“I could…” he coughed, clearing his throat. “Show you the way if you need?”

Halsin had no idea what he was doing. One second, the elf was scolding Karlach and the next he was flirting with a complete stranger. Something in your eyes, the way you held yourself made him want to know you better, hear you speak his name.

“That would be nice…” you smiled, politely putting the not purchased armour back on the market stand and turning to Halsin.

A large crash resounded behind Halsin and he whipped around to find Karlach standing above a pile of shattered porcelain. Like a large dog unaware of how big she was.

“Hey you gotta pay for that!” Angrily shouted the storekeeper as he looked incredulously from Karlach to the shattered pottery.

“That one yours?” You asked, nodding your head in the direction of the destructive tiefling.

Halsin nodded, watching as Karlach tearfully handed over the little money she had.

“I’ve got nine of them back at camp.” He said wistfully, thinking back to the ruckus and chaos of camp.

“I’ve been on my own for awhile now…” you hummed, walking with Halsin as he began to lead you to the nearby smithy, Karlach jogging to reach up with the two of you.

“I’m Halsin.” He smiled. “And this is my friend Karlach.”

“Oh I know you! I spent a century with the emerald enclave, they spoke very highly of you.” You grinned, stuffing your hands in the pockets of your tunic as you walked.

Karlach smiled brightly, nodding her head eagerly. “You should see when he wildshapes! The bear is quite cute.”

“You were apart of the emerald enclave?” Halsin asked, pleasantly bemused as the city surroundings grew less and less frequent and more bursting countryside surrounded him.

“Not apart.” You explained, giving Halsin a sheepish smile. “Just lived with them a good while, even during that big battle with Ketheric Thorm back in the day, helped as much as I could.”

“I can’t remember the last time I’d met an elf who can recall such a time.” Halsin smiled gently. “Say… would you like to join us for dinner at our camp?”

Karlach gave Halsin a knowing smirk.

“That sounds amazing.” You grinned. “I’d love too.”

Despite the scene of utter chaos unfolding around him, Halsin couldn’t bring himself to tear his eyes from your thoughtful gaze.

Shadowheart and Lae’zel were currently arm wrestling for dominance while Gale fought back Astarion, telling him dinner wasn’t quite ready yet.

Halsin had brought you to a quite hill nearby, overlooking all the drama as you two had a quite chat.

“Can’t remember the last time I had a dinner like this.” You quipped, causing the grass to rustle as you leaned back.

“Would you… want to stay…?” Halsin asked shyly, weirdly awkward for a man of his calibre. He hadn’t felt like this in a long time, his usual confident and wise facade slowly melting. You made him feel like a dumb kid again, and he couldn’t get enough of it.

“It would be nice to have someone older with a little more wisdom join the party… I don’t think me and Jaeheria can last another day…” he added with a soft laugh, joining you in the grass.

“Jaeheria’s here?” You asked, raising an eyebrow. “I haven’t seen her in two hundred years.”

“You should stay.” He urged. “I also… just really want to know you better.”

Halsin gently placed his hand on top of yours in the grass, giving you enough time to pull away if you need.

“Yeah… yeah I’d like that.” You smiled, running your thumb over his knuckles and lifting your face to meet his rich hazel gaze.

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

If your requests are ever opened.

Could I request an yandere twst boys x Elysia Reader?

If you haven't watched or played Honkai. Let me share you some details about Elysia!

Elysia is a female character from Honkai impact 3rd

She's an Elf. Titled as Miss Pink Elf.

She uses a prism bow that launches gorgeous crystal flowers on enemies. Not only that shes very fast at attacking! Even backflipping a few times while firing Arrows upon her enemies.

She's Elegant and Gorgeous. Very very gorgeous. Like an angel!

She's also one of the Flame chasers.

Flame chasers are like super powerful soldiers fighting against a strong deity.

Elysia is an elegant, cheerful, and sweet lady who's described as someone who "enjoys everything".

*but also very flirtatious *smug face*

She rarely speaks badly about anybody, and even then, she would say it in the lightest way possible. She is a friendly presence,

And she has a herrscher form!

A herrscher is a powerful being that either chooses to protect humanity or go against it. But she chooses to protect humanity!

I have a few more details about her! But it's a big big spoiler on the chapter! And I Don't wanna spoil.

Here are some gif and pics of her!

^

|

Her normal form

And this is her Herrscher form!

Take your time with this request! And remember to take breaks from finishing requests. Please be sure to tag me if your done! I would definitely like to see the results! Any character is fine!

Pink Elf Elysia Reader | Yandere Twisted Wonderland

Powers aside, you are a bubbly personality who loves to live stream and hang out with all your friends. Live streaming and posting It makes for many friends and really irritated obsessive suitors: 

Cater Diamond

“Come on pinky, pose for the Magicam!”

“Peaces!”

“Aww, you’re so cute! No worries I’ll be sure to tag you!”

Constantly texting you, posting about you, and you reposting in return

Always keeping you at arm's length

He makes it so that he’s the only one you’re turning to

Spending your time together because he knows the value of capturing you+ the best moments

While he can’t take you on in a fight he guesses he won’t need to

After all, he was hanging out with you the whole time that accident took place

“My magic to duplicate myself? Nah, they were helping me set the camera for me and (Y/n).”

Floyd Leech

“You’re pointy ears are sooo cutte! I want to bite.”

“Awww well only if I get to bite yours.”

“Please!”

Your energy fits his perfectly 

Nimble enough to keep him interested when he wants to hunt+ play

Playful enough not to get offended at his advances 

And teasing enough to keep him satisfied on a leash

You become the resident Floyd-relaxer

Don’t stop him from getting to you

He’ll strangle if you try and stop him

“Pinky! Elfy! Shrimpy! Give me nibbles!”

Leona Kingscholar 

“Oh Leona, do you like my outfit? Admit it I’m absolutely ravishing.”

“Yeah, ravishing for an herbivore.”

“Oya? Are you in denial? Or perhaps you’re quite distracted?”

“Oh please, you’ll have to try harder than that.”

Training with him is something he won’t ever admit how much he enjoys it

Sparring with you is great practice for when he tries to restrain you

He also enjoys how you let him rest on your lap

But he could do without you teasing him

He’ll wreck whoever bothers him about it

“Just shut up and let me rest.”

@rosalynakiyama

[thechaoticdruid]

[This Bites] 7

Astarion x F! Chubby MC

Plot: Winnie and Astarion attend the carnival in hopes to get information on a certain mysterious modder.

Content/Warnings: Violence, touching without consent, clowns, a special guest, death threats, near death experience, choking.

Chapter 6: Here

Chapter 8: NEXT

The screams of people riding the roller coaster filled the air. Winnie held Astarion’s hand as the group walked across the carnival grounds. Astarion who'd been rather enthusiastic about going, now seemed rather unsure. Winnie assumed he was more excited about going on a date than the date itself.  Astarion’s hand tightened around Winnie’s as they passed a rather eerily looking clown who was putting on a show for some children, juggling sparklers. His eyes looked over to them for a split second. Winnie shook her head and decided to ignore the strange person and focus on what she came for. 

“So erm…. Anthony I was really wondering if you could maybe help me. Becca said you're a modder and you might know  the person who made this BG3 cheat engine.” Winnie took out her phone and showed him a screenshot of the cheat engine file she took with her laptop. 

“Hm ... .Oh yeah I chatted with him before over discord.” Anthony replied, not looking back at the short female, too distracted by all the sights and sounds.

 “Babe, look! A haunted house, let's go!” Becca exclaimed as she took hold of her boyfriend’s arm.

“Oh alright I'll come with so you don't get scared” Anthony winked at Becca before taking her arm.

“I don't know what you're talking about, you're the one always getting scared.” Becca teased back before looking at Winnie. “Come on Wyn! Let's go!” 

“Yeah okay.” Winnie replied.

“So we're going to hunt for spirits?”Astarion hummed.

“No. It's not real. Just people in costumes jumping out from behind the corner to scare people.” Winnie explained.

“Oh? Well that's considerably more boring.” Astarion huffed. 

“Hey, don't hate on our fun! We don't have magic and dragons like you do back home.” Winnie playfully punched him in the shoulder. 

“Very well let's go then.” Astarion smirked and followed Winnie towards the ‘haunted house’ ride.  The attraction was set up to where you'd get  and ride through a fake haunted house. Winnie and Astarion sat behind Anthony and Becca as the car slowly moved along. For the most part the vampire was unimpressed. Being much too perceptive he could always tell when someone was about to jump out.  

“Hmm…That's a poor hiding spot.” Astarion mused as he noticed a man in a bloody pig costume hiding in the shadows.  The man jumped up causing Anthony and Becca to scream. Astarion stared boredly, an arm wrapped around Winnie’s waist as she tensed up, startled.  The vampire caressed his beloved's back comfortingly. He honestly relished the thought of taking a protective role. It made him feel strong, valued, like he had a purpose. 

“Oh now he's just lying on the floor, tut tut tut. You can do better than that.” Astarion tsked before a man in bloody clothes leapt up and screamed at the cart.  The vampire rolled his eyes before looking back at Winnie. She didn't scream at the attempts to scare them like Becca and Anthony did, but she would tense up or flinch.   Astarion leaned in and whispered in Winnie’s ear, “There’s another idiot hiding behind that door over there.” 

Suddenly a man in caked in white costume makeup with fangs and fake blood all over his face jumped out from behind the door hissing and getting way too close to Winnie’s face for the pale elf's liking. Astarion’s eyes narrowed a bit before he punched the ‘vampire’ in the jaw.  

“Why the hell did you do that for?” Winnie asked, looking at Astarion in confusion.

“He was getting on my nerves and he got far too close for my liking.” Astarion huffed.

“You can't just punch people because you want to! You're going to get us in trouble.” Winnie said with a look of worry. 

“Don’t fret love, I’ll handle any ire that comes our way.” Astarion replied.

“That's what worries me.” Winnie rolled her eyes. 

“Sweetheart, everything worries you.” Astarion sassed. Winnie pouted as the carts came to a stop outside the haunted house. They got out and Winnie silently thanked God that somehow miraculously Becca and Anthony missed Astarion's little outburst.

 The group walked away from the attraction as Astarion glanced over to see that creepy clown from before. He began clinging on to Winnie as he glared at painted face fool.

“It's just a guy in make-up Star.” Winnie said, running a hand over his back comfortingly. Astarion huffed a bit as they kept walking, the clown disappearing amongst the crowd of people.

“It's hideous.” Astarion murmured quietly.

“So Winnie I have a question, how did you and Star meet?” Becca turned to Winnie with a curious look. 

“Oh you know…We…um…” Winnie tried to think up something quickly.

“My darling and I met at the beach. I needed some assistance fending off this disgusting beast.” 

“It…was a really big crab.” Winnie added, rubbing the back of her neck nervously. 

“It was monstrous, but Winnie smashed the little wretch with a boulder, my sweet little hero.” Astarion hummed before looking at Winnie fondly. 

“It was a very small boulder.” 

“Well that's…..interesting.” Anthony hummed as he and Becca stared at them awkwardly, clearly thinking their story was ridiculous. 

“AH LOOK BUMPER CARS!!!” Winnie said, trying to change the subject as she pointed at the ride. 

“Ooh that actually looks fun.” Astarion said as his red eyes trailed over the scene of people smashing into each other. 

“How about we have a little playful competition against the ladies?” Anthony suggested as he looked over at Astarion. 

“Oh, you two are on!” Becca exclaimed and grabbed Winnie’s arm, “come on Wyn let's go kick some ass!”  Becca dragged Winnie off before she could  comment and Astarion rolled his eyes and followed after Anthony.

Eventually the two pairs got separated in the line with at least ten people between them. Winnie looked back, worried about Astarion doing something chaotic while she wasn't within range to intervene.

Astarion glanced back in her direction, he wasn't exactly torn up about their separation, but he would have much preferred trying this activity with Winnie instead of Anthony whom he knew nothing about.  Anthony looked Astarion over for a moment before he spoke. 

“So…Winnie seems nice.” He hummed aloud. 

“She is absolutely wonderful, my Winnie.” Astarion hummed with a content smile. 

“Okay…I mean she's not around bro. You don't have to go all out.” Anthony chuckled.

“All out? I mean every word.” Astarion huffed, “don’t you feel the same about your Becca? She seems very taken with you.”

“She's aight. Pretty hot and good in bed.” Anthony said nonchalantly.

“Oh, well lucky you then.” Astarion rolled his eyes. Meanwhile Winnie was standing with Becca, looking back at the others with a nervous gaze. 

“Maybe we should see if we can squeeze into line with the boys…So we don't get separated?”

“Nah it's fine, there should be enough bumper cars for them to join us.” Becca stated, her eyes looking over Winnie curiously observing her gaze. 

“You're staring at him.~” The redhead said in a sing-songy tone.

“He has a tendency to get into trouble.” Winnie said honestly. 

“You sure you're not just disappointed he's not glued to your side like normal?” She teased. 

“You act like he's hanging on me 24/7.” Winnie chuckled.

“Isn't he? Whenever I've seen you two he follows you around like a lost puppy.”

“You've seen us together like twice before today.”

“And I have amazing intuition. So…Have you two….you know…?” Becca smirked.

“I'm not having this conversation.” Winnie rolled her eyes.

“Whaaat? I was just gonna ask if you two had kissed! Don't be weird about it!” The redhead teased making Winnie turn bright red.

After a few minutes they climbed into the cars. The bumper cars were brightly colored and had both a driver and passenger seat in each of them.

Becca and Winnie got into one, Becca in the driver's side and Winnie in the passenger seat. However before they could even get buckled up, they were slammed into by Anthony and Astarion.  Astarion smirked mischievously as his fingers curled around the steering wheel.

“Star!? What the hell?” Winnie hissed.

“Sorry darling, I've never controlled one of these things before aha!” Astarion giggled with a mischievous grin.

“Oh it's on! Let's get him back!” Becca exclaimed, steering the bumper right into the guys. The group giggled and teased each other as their cars would collide. Despite the fun eventually Winnie had to usher their little group away when her vampiric partner began to slam the car into some obnoxious children. (One whom so rudely exclaimed “out of the way old lady!”) 

Once the four had left the ride Astarion slipped back beside Winnie. Anthony seemed to follow after Astarion however. 

“So…Make a new friend?” Winnie asked glancing over at Astarion and Anthony. 

Astarion wrapped an arm around Winnie and pulled her off away from Anthony until the two of them were out of earshot.

“Friend isn't quite the right word I believe, but nevermind that while I was alone with him in line he mentioned that the creator of your modification lived nearby in some city called Varamont.” 

“Varamont? That's like a five hour drive from here.” Winnie rubbed her temples. “I'm not sure I could stand riding for that long on my bike.” Winnie said with a sigh.

“Come on Winnie we're going into the mirror maze!” Becca called as she and Anthony caught up with the two. 

“I think I'll sit this one out actually.” Astarion spoke up. 

“Ah yeah…He gets a bit claustrophobic!” Winnie added. 

“You ladies go on in then. I wanted to get some food anyway.” Anthony piped up. 

“Okay….” Winnie said as Becca dragged her off into the mirror maze. Winnie followed after her reluctantly as her friend continued to talk her ears off about mundane things. They had a lead on where ShadowMommy69 was. Things were going well. So why did Winnie have this gnawing feeling something bad was going to happen? 

She sighed as her and Becca walked through the maze occasionally bumping into a mirror once and a while.  “Becca…Is everything okay with Anthony? I mean he is your boyfriend but it seems…like he's avoiding you.” 

“Anthony can be a bit reserved, but he's really a sweetheart.” Becca replied. Winnie frowned, Anthony didn't seem to have any problem hanging out with Astarion. She wasn't quite sure he was a good match for Becca. As much as she admired her friend, Becca had a bad track record when it came to dating. Winnie could recall that the redhead's last girlfriend apparently maxed her credit card and her parents had to help her with the debt. She really didn't have the best judge of character when it came to romantic partners. Not that Winnie could really talk considering her first boyfriend was a bloodthirsty undead creature of the night, but at least Astarion payed attention to her. A little too much sometimes. That wasn't his fault though. The man barely had anything to do while he was cooped up all day to avoid the sun's rays. 

As Winnie and Becca continued walking through the mirror maze the two ended up taking different paths. Winnie being distracted by her thoughts and Becca distracted by chattering about her own boyfriend. Eventually the girls were separated in two totally different parts of the maze. Winnie was even pulled out of her head by her nose bumping against the cold glass of a mirror.

“Shit…Where'd she go? Becca!?” She called, looking around as she got no answer. The lights that illuminated the maze from above flickered a bit. And Winnie felt a chill go down her spine. 

It's okay. Everything is alright. We’ll just find our way out. 

Winnie could feel her heart speeding up as she carefully maneuvered through the maze. However each turn and path seemed to go on forever. Winnie couldn't even tell how long she'd been in here! She quickly took out her phone as she began to get nervous only to find that the battery was dead. 

Okay…Maybe this isn't so great…

Suddenly she noticed a shadow move across one of the mirrors. Winnie nearly jumped at the sight of it, backing up fearfully. Then suddenly there was a voice.

“Ah, we finally meet in the flesh.” A familiar looking brunette haired man suddenly appeared in front of one of the mirrors, his reflection appearing in all the surrounding ones. It took a moment for Winnie to process who this was.

“Raphael?! What the hell are you doing here!? I'm pretty sure I killed you!” Winnie gasped in complete and utter shock.

“And yet here we are face to face.” The devil chuckled as Winnie began to back up. “I should actually thank you, you know. If you hadn't pulled Astarion out of our dreadfully repetitive world I would never have been able to find a way out.”

“Shit. I knew something bad was going to happen. You…You better not s-start any trouble!” Winnie said, trying to act intimidating though deep down inside she was terrified. 

“What trouble? I'm simply here to explore this new realm much like your toothsome companion. Besides, you have other things to worry about.”

“What do you mean?” Winnie asked with worry. 

“Astarion and I are not the only ones who've found a way to enter your domain. The person who caused this opened far more doors into your world than he intended.” Raphael spoke in a calm tone. A smile etching its way onto his face.  

“Why are you telling me this?” Winnie raised an eyebrow with suspicion.  

“Because you are of interest to me and without this knowledge you'll likely meet a very early demise.”

“If you're planning to use me to do your dirty work you must be desperate. You realize I'm no fighter. Hell I'm not even an advent-” Before Winnie could finish her sentence the devil disappeared without a trance. “Oh you Asshat! I was talking to you!”  Winnie huffed, looking around for the devil, but he was gone. Raphael showing up was bad enough but the thought of others coming into this world was horrifying. Dragons, mind Flayers and God knows what else could appear and there was nothing Winnie could do about it. She was literally just a retail employee! 

“I need to find Astarion.” Winnie murmured to herself.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Astarion had been waiting outside, trying to keep to himself as best as he could. The carnival goers were all looking more delectable by the minute. He could feel the ravenous maw inside begging, no, demanding to be sated. 

“Hey Star.” Anthony called as he returned from getting some food. “Damn, the girls sure are taking their time aren't they?” The dark haired male hummed. Astarion looked up, red eyes immediately noticing the pulsing vein on the human man’s neck. He gulped nervously, doing his damnedest to ignore the urge to tear into Anthony's throat. 

“Oh…I-I'm sure they'll be back soon.” Astarion said with a huff, his eyes looking away from the other male. 

“Hey, you alright?” Anthony asked.

“I'm fine. Just a bit cold.” Astarion lied and looked back towards the mirror maze. The vampire tried to keep his mind focused on Winnie, knowing well that she'd allow him to feed once they arrived home. But then he suddenly felt an arm wrap around his waist. He looked back and noticed the other male was getting far too close for comfort.

“Hey why don't we ditch the girls? I think the two of us have more in common anyway.~” Anthony said with a smirk before suddenly Astarion shoved him off. 

“Touch me again and I'll choke you with your own innards.” He hissed. 

“Whoa hey! Calm down! There's no need to pretend here. I know you're just pity-dating that girl, it's kind of obvious.” Anthony exclaimed, causing the vampire to narrow his eyes at him.

“Pity-dating? Ha! Darling, if I was going to court anyone out of pity it'd be you. Now stay the hells away from me before I rip out your throat.” Astarion snarled, his eyes were beginning to glow red, as he bared his fangs. This set off alarm bells in the human man’s head. 

“J-Jesus Christ!” He cursed and backed away. The vampire pushed back the urge to drain the male dry as he stepped away, beginning to retreat to a less populated space. His eyes then suddenly perked up at the sight of caged pigs off inside some tent. 

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

After stumbling through the mirror maze Winnie bumped into Becca once again. 

“There you are, Wyn! God, I thought You left for a moment!” Becca exclaimed. 

“Becca! I need to get out of here and talk to Star! It's important!” Winnie said. 

“Shit. Did something happen? Are you okay?” Becca asked, placing a hand on her shoulder.

“I'm fine…I just need to talk to him about something personal, okay.” Winnie stated. Becca nodded in understanding.

“Okay. Let's go, I think I found the way out.” Becca grabbed hold of Winnie’s hand so the two of them wouldn't get separated again before she led her he down another path. Winnie could spot scratches and smudges on the mirrors, as if someone had already left a trial to help guide them out. Eventually they reached the end of the maze and stepped out. Not a moment sooner chaos broke loose as pigs began to charge across the fields in front of them.

“Fuck sake!” One of the carnival workers yelled.

“Someone let loose the pigs!” Winnie and Becca looked at one another in complete and utter bewilderment. As the carnival workers rushed to wrangle their swine, one began to slowly approach the two girls. It was the clown Winnie had seen earlier.  

“Ladies, may I speak with you for a moment?”

“Uhh…We're a bit busy at the moment! S-Sorry.” Winnie blurted out before suddenly the make-up caked stranger began to move in. 

“What's the hurry!? There's a show starting soon. Come and see!” The clown chuckled.

“She said we're busy.” Becca spoke louder and stood in front of Winnie.  The clown cracked his neck before suddenly grabbing a hold of both their arms.

“Hey get the fuck off us!” Becca shouted as both her and Winnie began to flail and attempt to pull away, but the clown was surprisingly strong. 

‘Let us go!” Winnie shouted, eyes scanning the area for passerbys but it seemed the whole pig fiasco had distracted anyone who could have helped.

Winnie suddenly kicked the clown in the shin, making him release them. The two of them bolted as the stranger began his pursuit.  

Fucking hell this is like something out of a horror movie!

Winnie panted and huffed as Becca moved ahead of her. The slender female was able to keep more distance between herself and the creep chasing them. Winnie could feel her ribs and legs burning. She didn't think she had enough stamina to keep going. The clown chased them back into an empty tent when suddenly Winnie tripped, falling onto her hands and knees. She winced, feeling blood dripping down a cut on her knee. Winnie scrambled to get back up as the clown lunged at her grabbing hold of her by the throat. Winnie gasped for air, gripping onto the clown's large hands 

“Winnie! Get off her you creep!” Becca shouted and ran back towards the clown. The red head leapt into his back and grabbed hold of his hair, yanking it hard and even tearing a chunk out, causing him to shout and let go of Winnie before moving to throw Becca off of him. Winnie fell to the ground holding her neck as the clown moved to strike at Becca. The redhead looked up with wide eyes before suddenly something sharp pierced through the clown's chest from behind, causing blood to pour down onto the ground as the carnie fell to the floor.  Astarion stood there clawed fingers dripping with blood as he quickly turned his attention to Winnie who was still rubbing her throat. 

“Winnie! Winnie my sweet, are you alright?” Astarion looked down at the human woman with fearful eyes as she rubbed her throat. She gave a small weak nod. 

“Y-You just shoved your fingers through that man h-how!?” Becca began to stutter out. Astarion ignored the redhead, his attention was on the marks on Winnie's throat. 

“Arghhhhh!” A loud snarl suddenly filled their ears. The clown corpse began to stand back and change, growing bigger and bigger. Suddenly a large blue skinned humanoid beast with long tusks and glowing eyes.

Shit. The devil was right.

Winnie mentally cursed as Astarion stood in front of her protectively. Blood was still dripping from the wound in the creature’s chest. The creature growled down at the trio. The silver haired vampire bared his fangs at the beast. He was unarmed but he'd be damned if he let some filthy creature hurt his beloved and get away with it. While the beast was slowed by its injury he took the opportunity to attack. 

“Ignis!” He launched a firebolt straight into the monster’s face. The beast roared in pain as its eyes were blazing. The stench of burning flesh filled the air.  The beast quickly turned tail and darted out the back of the tent, disappearing into the night.  Winnie got back to her feet, taking a few deep breaths. Astarion peeked out through the back of the tent to make sure it was go before returning to Winnie’s side.

“Magic…He just did magic!?” Becca sputtered out. Winnie sighed and rubbed her temples before looking over at Astarion.

“I'm going to assume that's not normal here.” Astarion spoke up. 

“No, definitely not. I was actually looking to warn you about this kind of thing earlier.” Winnie replied, her voice sounding a bit croaky from nearly getting choked out. “I ran into Raphael in the mirror maze…”

“The devil is here!?” Astarion asked aloud.

“Devil?!” Becca exclaimed.

“Yes. He said when you came here others did too, himself included. I imagine that monster was one of them.” Winnie said.

“Would someone please tell me what's going on here!?” Becca demanded.

“Ah….Right…This is all probably going to sound insane.” Winnie sighed.

“Everything that's happened today has been insane. We just got attacked by a god-damned clown monster-thing and your boyfriend chucked a fireball at it!”

“Yes ... .Um…How do I put this…..Hm…Becca this is Astarion…I uh…pulled him out of my computer about a month ago after downloading this messed up cheat mod.” 

“Ah…Hello.” Astarion gave her an awkward little wave. Becca just stayed silent for a moment, eye twitching at the insanity of it all. 

“This is a dream. I fell asleep while getting ready for the carnival and Anthony is going to wake me up any moment now.” Becca spoke to herself as she tried to rationalize the situation.

“Oh I doubt he'd stay long enough to realize you were asleep.” Astarion muttered under his breath. 

“I thought it was a dream at first too, but after a couple of weeks I didn't wake up.” Winnie said softly.

“How is this possible?” Becca asked.

“Honestly I have no clue. I've actually been trying to the bottom of this. This is why I need to find out who made that mod. I'm certain it's behind everything.” 

“I need to take some time to process this. I'm going out to my car…” Becca said before walking off, looking rather shaken up.  

Winnie stepped out of the tent with Astarion slowly following behind her.

“It looks like the number of people who know our secret seem to be growing.”

“I wouldn't worry too much about Becca. She knows how crazy this all sounds, she's not going to go tell someone. Shame all hell broke loose tonight.”

“Gods I'm glad I was able catch a whiff of your blood before it was too late. I….I should have been with you…. I'm sorry…” Astarion pulled Winnie into his embrace.

“It's alright Astarion, there's no way you could have known we were going to get attacked. I had no idea there was any danger until I met with Raphael.”

“What did the devil want?” Astarion asked.

“I'm not sure. He kind of just showed up to warn me. That in itself seems very suspicious.” 

“He wants likely wants something from you, no doubt.” Astarion furrowed his brows. 

“I can't imagine what. I'm not a fighter, I can't go and kill anyone for him. Could it be my soul he’s after?” 

“Maybe…But I have a feeling it's not as simple as that.” The pale elf huffed before looking at her neck once again, gently cupping her cheek.The marks were turning into bruises.

“You sure you're alright?” 

“I am, just…sore…Are you alright? You still need to feed?” Winnie asked before moving up the sleeve of her jacket to expose her arm. Astarion gently pushed it away declining.

“No. I took care of that, besides you've been hurt enough today.” 

“Astarion, I wish I could protect you instead, but I'm not an adventurer or a hero. Suppose I'm just going to end up being a burden.” Winnie sighed.

“Darling, you do enough for me already. You practically feed, clothe and put a roof over my head. Keeping you safe would never burden me my love.” Astarion slowly wrapped his arms around Winnie, pulling her into a hug. Winnie returned it nuzzling her face into his neck. 

“We should return home. Get something for your bruises.” Astarion pulled back. 

“Okay…..and thank you…For saving me Astarion…” Winnie wasn't exactly sure what came over her. She definitely wasn't one to initiate affection very often being as shy and timid as she was, but in that moment nothing else seemed to matter. Winnie leaned up on her tiptoes and pressed a soft, chaste kiss upon his lips. Astarion was slightly taken back for moment but almost immediately returned the gesture leaning into it.

Winnie quickly pulled back as she realized what she'd done, her face flustered and full of embarrassment. What was she thinking!? She didn't even ask for fucks sake!

“I'm sorry! I should have asked if it was-” Astarion grabbed hold of her hips and pulled her back into a kiss. This one was more passionate, full of longing and need. It seemed Astarion wasn't satisfied with Winnie’s sweet little peck. The brunette was a little at a loss of what to do. She'd never been kissed before. Not in romantic sense anyway. She did her best to try to mirror his movements before he eventually pulled back and rested his forehead against hers.

“Took you long enough.~”

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Apologies for the wait! I've been rather distracted since the last chapter, but here it is! The monster in the chapter was an oni btw. It's a shapeshifting monster in DnD.

~Druid

@seradyn , @plimsim , @astarioffsimpmain , @marcynomercy , @iamsexytrash , @gaymistakeboi , @divineknightmare , @tinyfreakgirl , @misscrissfemmefatal, @gianchan-de @jaksfanficsaver , @the-disaster-in-waiting , @hp-art-studio , @im-just-a-simp-le-whore , @dajeong , @iamnotokei , @the-pale-elfs-love , @geminipridekitty

[earthtoharlow]

Teach Me: Merry & Bright

Series Masterlist

“Careful Daddy!” Jayla’s arms wrapped around Jack’s neck tightly as the snow crunched underneath his boots as he carried her to his car parked in the driveway.

“You think I’m gonna drop you?” Jack teased as he pretended to drop her from his arms, making his daughter squeal. Ariel smiled as she followed closely behind them.

Ariel and Jayla were on their way to the school's annual 2nd grade Christmas play. Surprisingly enough they both were in the play. Ariel as the narrator and Jayla was playing Elf #1. Jack was dropping them off early and would come back closer to the time the play started.

After Jack dropped the girls off at the school the two changed into their costumes, and did one more dress rehearsal with the other students before the crowd arrived.

Jayla had been in plays before but this was the first time she would actually have a speaking role. Ariel couldn’t help but snap photos of Jayla running around with the other students, excitement running through their tiny bodies.

Hours later Jack made his way down the aisle and sat front and center so that Jayla would be able to see him. Jack slid further down in his seat the more people trinkled in.

“Daddy?” He heard a familiar voice quietly call out. Turning around he saw Jayla’s head peeking out from behind the curtain on the side of the stage.

Thankfully not too many people were in his row yet as he excused himself, and quickly hopped on the side of the stage to greet her. Jack almost melted when he saw her in her red Christmas dress, hair pulled up into the perfect bun that he was sure Ariel spent a good amount of time on. He stopped in his tracks though when he noticed her lips start to quiver. “I’m really scared, daddy!”

“Oh Jayla” Jack cooed before pulling her into his chest, rubbing her back as small tears dropped from her eyes. “You’re going to do amazing!”

Jayla pulled back from the hug, eyes still watery. “I’m going to forget my lines!”

“You won’t forget them, you practiced every single day with me and Ariel—“

“…mommy.” She corrected him.

Jack had to hide his smile at the correction. “Exactly, so how could you forget your lines? You’re just nervous and that’s okay. Everyone gets nervous sometimes.”

“Even you?” Jayla questioned. While her dad didn’t perform on stage anymore, her many uncles have shown her videos of him rapping on huge stages.

“Heck yeah! I used to be terrified.”

Jayla snuggled in closer to him. “How did you stop being scared?”

Jack stopped for a moment to think before answering. “Well, I always take a deep breath, and remembered that I worked really hard on my performance. No matter what happens on that stage my friends and family will still love me.”

He could see the wheels turning in her head, thinking over what he said. She still looked nervous though. Jack lightly held on to Jayla’s shoulders and gave her complete eye contact. “Hey, you’re going to do a wonderful job tonight, Jayla Rose Harlow.” As Jack spoke those words, Jayla’s shoulders immediately dropped as she began to relax.

Jayla wrapped her arms around her father in a tight embrace. “Thanks, daddy.” She whispered in his ear.

“Anytime, babygirl! Now go break a leg!” Jayla stopped in her tracks at that phrase.

“Huh?”

Jack couldn’t help but laugh. “It means good luck!”

“Ooooh! Thanks!” Jayla said and blew him one last kiss before running backstage to finish getting ready. When Jack stood back up to feet he noticed Ariel standing a few feet away.

He simply winked at his wife, knowing she had seen the whole exchange and went back to his seat.

Jack eagerly waited for the curtain to draw as the lights dimmed in the auditorium. He started to feel nervous for his daughter, as his leg began to bounce in his seat.

The second grade class were all dressed as Santa’s helpers. The kids were running around on stage chasing Santa and playing pranks on him.

Jack was glad that Urban had volunteered to take photos of the play, he already couldn’t wait to look back on them. So far Jayla hadn’t had any lines, but he could see her getting more and more comfortable the more she was on stage.

He watched on as Jayla and the other Santa helpers swapped Santa’s suit for a smaller size. Laughing along with the crowd as Santa struggled to get the suit on.

Jack began biting his nails nervously knowing Jayla’s part was coming up.

Mrs.Claus slaps Santa’s hand as he reaches for a cookie. “No more cookies until you can fit into that suit!” Santa pouted.

“Maybe you should try eating a carrot, Rudolph loves carrots!” The other helps nodded in agreement

Santa shook his head, “no no! Do I look like a reindeer?”

Jack watched as Jayla tilted her head to the far left and looked at Santa and proceeded to tilt her head to the far right to get another look. “You are kind of round like reindeers body!”

Jayla's smile widened when the theater erupted in laughter. Jack’s smile was twice as big when a parent next to him elbowed him slightly and said “She was born to be on stage.”

The rest of the show flew with Jayla performing her lines perfectly. When the curtains closed, he immediately went backstage to greet Jayla with the other parents.

He stood to the back but still close enough for Jayla to see him. “DADDY!!” He heard her yell, he crouched down to her level to receive the huge hug he knew was coming. Jayla threw herself at him, and Jack held her tight as he scooped her up in his arms.

“Oh my god! Jayla you did amazing!! I’m so proud of you!” Jack said before placing kisses all over her face making her giggle.

“Hold on, are you giving away kisses without me?! Let me in on the action!” Ariel said, coming up behind him and Jayla. Jack handed Jayla off to Ariel so she could have her own time to congratulate their daughter.

Watching them together was starting to make him emotional. He tried to hide it by wiping his eyes but for some reason the tears would stop.

Holidays used to be very tough for both he and Jayla. Even just a couple years ago, Jayla wouldn’t even dare join the school play. He knew the person he could thank for that was Ariel. She’s changed their lives for the better, she was responsible for putting a smile on both his and Jayla’s faces.

“Are you crying, daddy?”

Jack took a deep breath and wiped his face again. “Only happy tears baby, only happy tears.”

***

Sorry this is so late but hope you all enjoyed this! Let me know your thoughts 🫶

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[atsadi-shenanigans]

FSBE 2 - That Fuckin Bitch

You find lost friends.

On AO3.

It is a dog. A bundle of white fur and a tail wagging so hard it circles in a loop as Scratch gives himself helicopter-butt.

Wyll drops to his knees the second the elevator stops and the dog throws himself at the horned man, tongue flapping, body wiggling, whining happily.

You don’t got much time to even notice all that before you’re bowled over by a big, feathered mass of an owlbear cub. Y’all been gone, what, a week? And then some? Yet the little dude lunges up so high he reaches your chin as he totters on his back legs.

He trills and squeals. His claws catch on your new armor (thank fuck for that armor) while he nibbles at everything he can reach.

“Sweetums,” you say. Bury your fingers in the soft feathers around his face and give him some good head-scritches. His ear tufts lift as his eyes sink shut.

“Oh, the druid didn’t die,” Astarion says.

The druid being Halsin, whose bear form shimmers and ripples with golden light as he shrinks down into a slightly smaller man. Elf. Whose body then goes loose in what you can only assume is relief.

“Oakfather be praised,” Halsin says. “I was beginning to worry.”

“Only beginning?” Wyll says with a cheeky smile.

Halsin’s return smile flickers, looking too tired. “You all did defeat a goblin camp and rescue the Emerald Grove. But the Underdark can be exceedingly dangerous in many different ways.”

“Ch'k,” Lae’zel all but spits. “I found no danger. Only the bloodsucker and the weakest istik received that honor.”

You…been called worse.

Halsin’s gaze darts to you. You lift a hand (the other still occupied with Sweetums). “We’re all fine. Just some critters.”

“And the drow,” Astarion says. “I managed to feast on several of them, and our darling leader crushed one to pieces with a boat.”

Halsin’s gaze turns to sharp worry.

“Oh please,” Karlach says. “I split a minotaur in half. And then Wyll and I got caught up in that fight between them dragons—”

“Oh, here we go,” Astarion says.

“I’m telling the truth! There was two dragons, but we didn’t know they were dragons at the time cause they were disguised as people—”

“Next you’ll tell everyone you stumbled into a vampire bar. Admit it, darling, we—” He slings an arm around your shoulders and hauls you close, much to Sweetums’ dismay. “—got to have all the fun.”

“There actually were two dragons,” Wyll says.

“Yeah! And a bunch of kobolds! But the gold dragon—”

Gale winces. Mutters, “Those are exceedingly rare. The likelihood of any of us coming across one, in the Underdark no less—”

“—she roasted all of them! Poof! Into ash!” Karlach finishes.

Halsin’s mouth opens. The shape of a question forms, but then he just looks at y’all.

“Is that a stew?” Shadowheart says.

A pot sits on a bed of coals next to a small fire. A savory, kinda tangy scent wafts through the air and y’all been on limited rations for the last fucking week.

“I, yes,” Halsin says. Steps to the side. “Yes, it is. Though it’s quite watery, and I doubt there’s enough for everyone.”

“Aha,” Gale says and reaches into his pack to pull out a sack of potatoes like a stage magician flourishing a baby bunny. “I do believe I may be able to assist with that.”

Away from caves and rivers, the monsters and murderers (well, the ones not in y’all’s group). Away from an active lava lake, and you could use a dinner, a massage, and then a coma.

So that’s when that fucking bitch Mizora pops in.

***

“I swear, the next time I see that streak of shit, I’m going to pinch her head off her fucking shoulders,” Karlach says. Makes the approximate motion of plucking off a fuzzy dandelion head.

You’d help her. Will help her, if you can think out how.

Wyll sits quietly next to the fire, Scratch between his legs, the dog’s head on his knee.

That fucking bitch. That ratfuck twat.

“This is the last job,” you say, like that’s gonna actually make it better. “Last one, and he’s done.”

That’s what y’all managed to negotiate. Last time, that bitch had fucked Wyll over in person. This time, she did it by way of a Star Wars hologram, and she’d sounded stressed. So you’d asked about it.

Which still wouldn’t’a done shit if Astarion hadn’t piped up. Apparently “magistrate” also meant some kinda lawyer?

So Wyll gets to Moonrise Towers, frees some poor fuck that bitch calls an asset, and he’s free. He’d thanked y’all, but now he sits quietly, and you can’t help but think of them first days off the farmstead. The first night, in Sasha’s bedroom at two in the morning, sitting on her couch watching the lights shift along the ceiling as cars drove by below.

It was noisy in the city. Though you’d later found out y’all was just in a suburb of a larger town. First time you ever went to Tulsa and saw an honest-to-god skyscraper, you got dizzy sitting there in the car.

You still refuse to enter one.

But that first night, you sat on that couch by yourself. You were free. You’d done it. You ran the fuck away. Turned your back on the lord and the Pastor and Mother.

You were the biggest piece of shit to ever walk the Earth. You were going to hell. No doubt. People who left went to hell. They succumbed to the voice of the devil, and they always knew you had the devil in you. That was why Mother was so hard on you. She was trying to help, trying to save you, and this was how you repaid her. You scurried off in the night like a coward. A traitor.

An apostate.

The worst thing anyone in the world could be, and you felt that ooze over your skin, sinking cold and sick into your stomach. Worse than some godless heathen liberal, you had seen the light of the lord. Had felt his presence. His grace. His love. And you flung it into the mud.

Stupid, evil, ungrateful girl. You betrayed them all.

You’d watched Sasha drive. Saw how her foot worked the pedal that made the truck go. The steering wheel, a knob for the lights. Girls didn’t drive, since their calling was on the farmstead and the work there, but you were always too deceitful for your own good.

Sasha had set her keys in a bowl on the kitchen table just through the door.

This place, this room with all the noise and the echoing thuds of footsteps tromping up nearby stairs, a girl’s voice echoing down the hall, it wasn’t for you. You didn’t know what half the things in that living room were for. Had never been alone like this. No bunk above yours, no sleeping girls around you. Just you.

Sasha had offered to sleep on the floor beside the couch she put you on. You’d assured her you were fine. You wanted to be alone.

Because you had the devil in you.

If you grabbed them keys and took that truck. If you went back now, right this second and begged forgiveness, they’d take you back. The prodigal daughter. The lord goes ever-searching for his lost flock.

There would be punishment. They would have to cleanse the sin that overwhelmed you, banish the devil’s temptations filling your mind. But you wouldn’t be alone like this. Wouldn’t be so stranded in an alien world, an alien life.

You surged up, bolted for the kitchen, and managed to reach the sink before you started to throw up.

“Hey,” you say, in Middle Narnia. Slide to a seat near Wyll.

He looks up. His smile is soft and warm. At first glance. But you know what to look for: the strain around the seams.

“Thank you again,” he says. Gives Scratch his namesake. The dog’s tail thumps against the ground.

“Wish I could’a done more,” you say.

Wyll hums. “She’s a sly one, that Mizora. Always finds a new way to get her claws into you.”

You get that, too. The lord goes ever-seeking his lost flock.

“You know everybody in camp wants to beat her ass for you, right?” you say. And boy howdy, this feels awkward as fuck. But when he looks to you, you know the man desperately needs to hear it. “We all care about you. You even got Astarion to jump in for you.”

That cracks the first hairline fracture into Wyll’s brittle mask.

“Ain’t none of us gonna stand back, Wyll. You ain’t all by yourself. You give the word, and we’ll jump her. Or what’s left after Karlach gets to her.”

“Fuck yeah!” Karlach, apparently in earshot, hollers. “I’ll scoop her lungs out her arsehole!”

Another crack. A trickle of genuine warmth spills out. Wyll nods. “I’ll keep that in mind. It’s just…being the Blade of Frontiers. All my magic comes through her. If…when I lose that. I’m not…not sure who I am. The man, and not the Blade. I want that contract gone, make no mistake. I’ve been leashed to that creature for far too long. It’s just…”

He looks at the hand not busy petting Scratch.

“You’ll find him,” you say. Hold his gaze when he lifts it. “You’ll have to build him, brick by brick. But you’ll build it, and from what I seen of your foundation, you’ll build him strong.”

There it goes. The mask shatters. Leaves Wyll, the man, soft and exposed.

“You really think so?” he says.

And that’s about as much vulnerability as you can handle. Still, man needs a reassurance, so you can’t go sprinting off past them temple doors.

“I mean, you can’t do no worse than what I managed,” you say.

To which he only raises an eyebrow, a sly twinkle gleaming in his eye. “Oh? You’ve bargained your way out of a warlock pact, have you?”

You ain’t never really shared yourself to any of them. Except Astarion, cause he went stomping through your memories with his fucking shoes still on. It ain’t something you ever really talk about. Not here, and not in your life before. Mostly cause people get weird with you afterward, and that never goes away. It taints you, once others know.

“Got raised in a bad group,” you say. “Real coercive shit. Got out later, and had to start my whole life over. It sucks. Real bad. But it’s doable.”

He nods slowly. Gives another half-smile and sighs. “Thank you. Truly. I’m glad to have been infested with a soul-consuming, monstrous parasite with you.”

You cannot help the bark of laughter. “Me too.”

Y’all finally settle in to actually eat the dinner that fucking bitch Mizora so rudely interrupted. And then makes plans to set out from this temple (or whatever it actually is, does Faerun have train stations?) come morning. Y’all are gonna be traipsing through a place called the Shadow-Cursed Lands, looking for the secret hideout of a fucking brainworm cult.

Peachy.

Which means y’all need to sleep.

Sweetums has been clinging like a cat to your legs the whole evening. Afternoon. You don’t honestly know. But he comes trotting and trilling after you as you set up your tent. You used to have a cat, Nugget, until he passed a year ago. Ain’t never had a dog (apartments don’t mix all that well with dogs, in your opinion).

You look at Sweetums. He flicks his ear tufts at you. So you lift the tent flap and the boy don’t even need instructions to go crawling in there.

Well hell. Forget dogs sleeping on the bed, you got yourself an owlbear. At least he don’t seem inclined to roll around in deer shit like most dogs you meet.

You start to duck in after him.

“Well,” a voice drawls. Astarion emerges from the shadows, where he must’a been lurking like an absolute fucking creeper.

You’re pretty wrung out on the fucks to give department just now. Can’t muster up enough adrenaline to jump, so you just kinda stare as the man leans back against a pillar.

“Shopping for a new lover already?” he says.