#OFFICE SHENANIGANS

[superbat-love]

Clark: Can you please just hold still? Do you want to bleed all over the restroom?

Bruce: Are you sure you know what you’re doing?

Clark: Trust me, I’ve seen Alfred bandage you enough times to know how to do it with my eyes closed. Seriously Bruce, I can’t believe you! Were you really going to silently sit through the meeting while you’re bleeding out from your ripped stitches?

Bruce: Ugh, spare me the lecture and just help me. We need to get back to the meeting soon. I don’t need to give your boss any more reason to give me dirty looks across the room.

Clark: That’s just Perry’s default expression.

The door to the restroom opens and someone steps in. Bruce immediately yanks Clark in close to block his injuries from view. Clark slams his hands on either side of him with a grunt, careful not to crush him.

Jimmy: Clark? [stares at the half-dressed Bruce underneath him] Mr Wayne??

Clark: J-Jimmy!

Bruce: [angrily whispering to Clark] You forgot to lock the door didn’t you? Get rid of him. Now.

Clark: Jimmy, this is not what it looks like! Me and Mr Wayne uhh… We’re just uhh…

Bruce: [Moans when Clark accidentally brushes against his wound]

Jimmy: Umm…

Clark: [whispering] Sorry!

Bruce: Hi Jimmy~ Care to join the fun?

Jimmy: N-No! Sorry to interrupt you guys! I-I mean, I don’t think I need to use the restroom after all. See you around, bye! [flees the restroom]

[spicymancer]

Just another day at the Sanction offices.

Unblurred/uncensored photo, plus the one-page Xenobiology report text is available on the Patreon.

[simona-artista-artblog]

It’s just so hard for them to work together without devolving into chaos 😤

Also thank you @weena-mercator for all the help she gave me with this piece ❤️💙

[st4r-t3ars]

Elias: Who broke the coffee machine? I’m not mad, I just wanna know.

Martin: I did. I broke it.

Elias: No. No, you didn’t. Jon?

Jon: Don’t look at me. Look at Melanie!

Melanie: What?! I didn’t break it.

Jon: Huh. That’s weird. How’d you even know it was broken?

Melanie: Because it’s sitting right in front of us and it’s broken!

Jon: Suspicious.

Melanie: No, it’s not!

Basira: If it matters, probably not… Tim was the last one to use it.

Tim: Liar! I don’t even drink that crap!

Basira: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

Tim: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles! Everyone knows that!

Martin: Alright, let’s not fight. I broke it, let me pay for it, Elias.

Elias: No. Who broke it?

Melanie: Daisy’s been awfully quiet…

Daisy: Really?!

Melanie: Yeah, really!

-

Elias: I broke it. It burned my hand so I punched it. I predict ten minutes from now, they’ll be at each other’s throats with warpaint on their faces.

[granddaughterogg]

separated by a common language

Graves (during a meeting which just went south): Now listen there, dudebro - Soap: Ye cannae call him that. He's no American, ye daftie. Graves:...anyone here wishes to translate that into some human language? Soap: I'll give ye a skelp on yer coupon! Ghost: Soap, sit down. He's right tho, ya know. I'm not a dudebro. Graves: *inhales, exhales, smacks tongue* What should I call you then? Gaz: *pipes in* A ladmate?

[mbrainspaz]

“Okay you nasty motherf***er, I’m trying to help you”

- said in a pleasant tone by the person doing customer service work in the cubicle behind me

[queer-talmid]

one of the great things about my job is that I can put little things up at my desk and also I get to have fun labeling my binders

[the-haunted-office]

James: You know, in romance books, people would be lusting after me-

Doom: I'm asexual. (Shoots him in the face and walks away)

[muddybudd]

I love my new job! My boss has me assisting him with client relations, like, all the time!

[cannibalgh0st]

Going for a happy hour dinner with my office today- because it's gonna be one of the girls last week working with us. So I'm going to be polite and for free food!🥺✨️

[kiutotakulady]

When it's a fire drill but your office is located at the 11th floor & you have to go down the stairs

[myrmyrtheorca]

*shouts the foulest insults to god and his creation at the top of her lungs in the office because she's convinced nobody's there to listen*

*turns out coworker who doesn't usually come to the office is right behind me*

rest in myr

[mbrainspaz]

today I was in a training meeting with another millennial and bro would not stop mentioning tumblr. The way he first brought it up was so clunky too. I was training him to use the city's CMS and he kept comparing it to tumblr. After that he brought it up so may times that I started to wonder if this was some kind of sting operation orchestrated by my assigned FBI agent. It felt like he saw a weird little guy sitting there with pronoun and Good Omens stickers all over their laptop and set out on a secret mission to out me as a tumblrina. At no point did I cave and confess.

[emily-lotus]

[kissablelips-desireslure-vol1]

OFFICE SHENANIGANS WITH SUPERVISOR AND SUBORDINATE...

[muddybudd]

Gee, thank you for noticing. It is a new top. Do you like it?