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genericpuff · 6 months ago

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Lore Olympus just pulled off the biggest whiff in webtoon history.

I promised I would choose one of two headlines and of course, this is the one we wound up with. But should we really be surprised? Rachel herself seemed to be telling on herself down to the minutes leading up to the finale, fully confirming to us that yes, she's been writing this comic at the last minute, by the seat of her pants, for ages now.

(that second one was literally posted TWENTY FUCKING MINUTES BEFORE THE COMIC UPDATED.)

Welp, let's get into it. Possibly the last essay I'll ever write about this dumpster fire of a comic (but probably not, let's be real LOL)

CONTENT WARNING: DISCUSSION OF SEXUAL ASSAULT AND FASTPASS SPOILERS FOR THE SERIES FINALE AHEAD!

Holy crap, where to even start with this. I knew it was going to be bad. I knew it was going to be rushed. I knew it wasn't ever going to live up to what I had hoped it would be years ago when I was still a diehard fan.

But I didn't think it was going to fall quite this hard. Despite bracing myself for the worst, Rachel has once again let my expectations down through a final display of explosive mediocrity and disappointment.

Yes, the episode is called "You're Welcome", and yes, that instant "ick" you're feeling is the exact same as what we're all feeling. This title plays into the dialogue later, but what a shitty, lowkey mean-spirited title for the series finale.

Now, before we get into the actual episode, the WT ads for this are just... so desperate and misleading.

They are trying SO HARD to hype up something that isn't there, and at the last minute to boot, because Rachel definitely hadn't written any of this ahead of time.

First off, the bit about the gods being in "eternal chaos" of course isn't a stake worth worrying over because Gaia literally does away with Ouranos in the first 5 panels.

Did you really think I was joking about that 5 panels thing?

That's it. That's the death of Ouranos. As mysteriously and quickly as he arrived, he was gone, after Gaia ripped out of him what appeared to be some purple sunny side up - but it's actually, in fact, Apollo.

And that's when we start to get some of the worst dialogue I've ever seen throughout LO. Remember when I said LO's dialogue was like Shenmue 3? Welp, the finale decided to continue that tradition and further fuel the suspicion that this entire thing was written by ChatGPT.

Oh, by the way, that "thank you, ma'am" was Artemis' first and last line of the episode. So once again, just like in Episode 248, we're completely robbed of her reaction to Apollo being a rapist piece of shit and the character development she could have had as a supporting character. The women in this "feminist retelling" really couldn't be more half-baked.

Gaia stumbles upon Persephone, and I'm not even gonna fucking bother showing the panels where Gaia says it's time to "make things right" because they literally don't matter. Why don't they matter? Because Rachel just had to get in one more pointless time skip.

We're shown a sequence of pointless images that I'm not gonna show as I don't want to waste my image limit on them, depicting Hades having a sad day because his small wife isn't with him and oh nooo what could have happened?? Did Persephone finally divorce him ??

Nah, we couldn't possibly have an actually happy ending in this comic. Instead we get a completely pointless phone conversation between Hades and Hecate-

Not only is the grammar particularly bad in this episode, but the actual script-writing is atrocious. We literally did not need this phone conversation to happen because-

-we're cutting BACK TO THE PRESENT THAT WE JUST CUT AWAY FROM FOR A 3 MONTH TIME SKIP. FOR NO REASON BESIDES SHOWING HADES BE SAD OVER SOMETHING THAT ACTUALLY ISN'T THAT BIG A DEAL, AS YOU'RE ABOUT TO SEE.

I- I LITERALLY HAVE NO WORDS. I HAVE NO WORDS TO DESCRIBE WHAT THE FUCK THIS IS. ALL I CAN HEAR IN MY BRAIN IS THE LEGEND OF ZELDA ITEM GET MUSIC-

youtube

-BECAUSE THIS WHOLE THING SUDDENLY SOUNDS LIKE SOME CONTRIVED FETCH QUEST. WHAT DO YOU MEAN HADES AND PERSEPHONE HAVE PROVEN 'TRUE LOVE' IS REAL? WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY HAVEN'T USED 'LOVE' AS A FORCE FOR DESTRUCTION?? ARE WE FORGETTING THAT HADES MUTILATED A GUY IN THE NAME OF 'LOVE'? THAT PERSEPHONE LITERALLY INVADED THE HOME OF HADES' CANONICAL FIRST WIFE BECAUSE SHE FELT MILDLY THREATENED BY HER?

This whole concept of "true love" that Rachel is trying to convey feels so juvenile especially for a series that has sold itself as being mature and thought-provoking and progressive.

HAHAHA SO FUNNYYYYYYY why does Rachel write like this. this is, at best, the writing of a 13 year old on fanfiction.net, which I SHOULD KNOW, because I WAS ONE OF THEM. BUT I'M 28 NOW AND RACHEL HAS ANOTHER 10 YEARS ON ME.

Okay, this is the part where I'm CONVINCED Rachel either just mashed this into the episode in the MINUTES leading up to its release, or she used ChatGPT or something. Because NONE of this dialogue makes any sense. Beyond how stilted and lifeless it is (seriously, this dialogue reads like something from Empress Theresa) Gaia is clearly meant to 'replace' Erebus here which I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO EVEN EXPLAIN IS SO FUCKING DUMB, but ALSO what is even Persephone trying to communicate here? "That is true, but it was a deal I was willing to make and ties me to the Underworld. Please don't change me." What? Gaia hasn't even insinuated that she's going to do anything to Persephone, why is Persephone immediately jumping to this conclusion? What does 'changing' her mean? Is she asking Gaia not to force her to sacrifice something (which she never did)? Or is she asking Gaia not to strip her of her Underworld status? Because again, why is that even something Gaia would do?

Maybe this is harsh but I'm pretty sure even Empress Theresa is more coherent than this, what in the flying fuck is Gaia talking about?

"I can just see the potential for conflict! To relieve you from the burden of the whats, the hows, and wheres." Like... okay, first of all, that second sentence isn't even a complete sentence, it's a dependent clause left hanging, but also what the fuck does this MEAN. Is she EXCITED for the conflict but then contradicting herself by saying she wants to relieve Persephone of that conflict? Or is she saying she can see the conflict it would cause for Persephone to have to perform duties in both realms and trying to insinuate that she's going to relieve her of those complications?

Here's what I think happened - I think that second 'sentence' wasn't supposed to be a sentence, but the start of the sentence to the next panel-

So with that theory in mind, the sentence becomes, "To relieve you from the burden of the whats, the hows, and wheres, you are to spend three months in the Mortal Realm to do spring and the rest of the year in the Underworld. That seems fair to me."

It's still a very poorly written line of dialogue, but at least with that fix in mind it makes sense. But man, you can really fucking tell this episode was submitted at the last minute because that's a serious syntax error that should NOT have happened in this two-time-Eisner-winning comic.

Errors aside, it's clear that Rachel is following through on having Persephone spend only three months in the Mortal Realm, rather than the traditional six. There ARE other translations that have that number closer to four, but those four are the time she spends in the UNDERWORLD, meaning she's always spending either equal or MORE time in the Mortal Realm. Of course, Rachel doesn't want her self-insert small wife power fantasy to actually have to be separated from Hades despite this being a retelling of The Abduction of Persephone, so instead of her spending three months in the Underworld, she's now spending them in the Mortal Realm, literally doubling the MINIMUM amount of time (four months) she was originally meant to reside in the Underworld.

But oh no, apparently those three months are STILL NOT SHORT ENOUGH FOR PERSEPHONE-

Of course, Rachel "Retcon" Smythe had to have her cake and eat it too. I always worried something like this was a possibility, but I never thought she would actually prove me right - not only is Persephone only separated from Hades for three months out of the year, but actually he can visit her any time he wants to, so really, they're not separating at all.

I think Rachel needs to look up "reunion" in the dictionary, because if you can visit each other any time, then that means the 'reunions' are no longer special occasions. This completely removes any semblance of depth or meaning from all of the storytelling leading up to this, all of it with the expectation that this was a retelling of the Abduction of Persephone, because that's what Rachel said it was going to be. At this point it's safe to say that Rachel has zero business attempting to "retell" mythological stories, because she doesn't even seem to grasp the concept of why they were written the way they were to begin with. Either that, or she really just doesn't care, and the only reason for making LO a Greek myth comic at all was to propel her career.

This also brings me back to those promotional ads, the other one that posed the question, "Will sacrifice be enough to bring these two back together?"

This is stating the obvious, but I need to make it perfectly clear - Hades and Persephone have never sacrificed a single thing. The only thing they could POSSIBLY quantify as a "sacrifice" is "not being tied at the hip for a few hours", because even Persephone going on the equivalent of a work trip next door is apparently enough to make Hades sad as we saw in the 3 month time skip panels. Why is Hades so sad and lonely if he can visit her any time? Why is he acting like he hasn't seen her in years when he's actually on his way to reunite with her? Why is Hecate calling to ask him if he's "okay" as if he JUST got separated from her, but actually he's about to literally go to the Mortal Realm to reunite with her?

Hades hasn't 'sacrificed' a damn thing, neither has Persephone. They've both always gotten exactly what they wanted, even at the cost of breaking the story's own established rules. Their 'sacrifice' is equivalent to what billionaires think are 'sacrifices' when they can't buy another yacht or go on that third overseas vacation for the month.

And even outside of this episode, when have these two ever sacrificed anything?

I've tried so hard to think of what sacrifices have been made by the characters within LO, and I genuinely can only think of one - and that was when Artemis chose to go to the Mortal Realm with Persephone instead of staying with her family in Olympus. That was a genuine, selfless sacrifice, made by a character who has been shelved in favor of focusing on the self-centered pink and blue airheads.

Being forced to be apart for a couple days to do the equivalent of a day job and whining about it the whole time is not a 'sacrifice'. Neither of these characters have ever sacrificed anything, they just feel like sacrifices because they have the integrity and empathy of soggy cardboard.

sigh Anyways, we're back in the present and Hades and Persephone immediately decide they're gonna have sex because ofc, and then we get this gem of a panel-

MMMMMM

FUNNYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY JOKE

For some reason it's just a common thing for people to just be in Hades' home, and they can't seem to get any privacy as a result of this, but I digress. Turns out they still need to have that coronation for Persephone.

There is... so much wrong in these three panels.

First, to state the immediate issues - why the fuck are they mentioning Apollo at Persephone's coronation? Like first of all, no shit Apollo isn't gonna be there, but also, if this is supposed to be an event for and about Persephone becoming Queen of the Underworld, then why in the WORLD is Apollo even being mentioned? This is supposed to be a "feminist retelling" where the victims are empowered and heal from their trauma, but LO once again can't try to show any sort of positive growth for the victims without bringing up the assaulters and giving them screen time. It just goes to show that Rachel's idea of "healing" is purely rooted in the revenge, and not the growth. It's a very high schooler approach to this subject, hellbent on showcasing how all the meanies from the past are losers now and life just sucked for them forever, but inadvertently proving its own point that the victims haven't and can't move on because the narrative is spending so much time on caring what's going on with the abusers. It's the "I don't care! Look at how little I care! I'll prove it to you by putting in the effort of showing you how little I care!" approach, it doesn't really feel like moving on.

It's not about how Persephone and his other victims could have grown and healed, no, Rachel always needs to highlight just how much worse the bullies and haters and abusers are doing to make the victims seem like they've healed by comparison. Don't get me wrong, I can understand wanting to showcase the downfall of a character like Apollo, but this just... isn't the right context for that? Because it's once again taking attention away from the victim to focus on the abuser. It's once again spending screentime on the voices of the oppressors rather than the oppressed.

And speaking of, what the fuck is this punishment even? I knew Rachel wasn't gonna be able to resolve this plotline properly, she never had the capability to, but ... community service? Are you fucking for real? What is this even a punishment for even? Was this EXCLUSIVELY the SA, or does this ALSO include his attempts to overthrow Zeus by poisoning him, nearly killing Daphne, Eris, Eros and Psyche, trapping Eros and Psyche in an enchanted basement, and framing his father's 'death' on his half-sister? Because if so, how in the world is anyone content with community service? He hasn't even been turned into a mortal, HE'S STILL A GOD, so what's to stop him from going "WE'LL MEET AGAIN, SPIDERMAN" and trying something else? How is this a reasonable resolution in ANY context?

This is why I talked at length about what an issue it was to hide what Apollo really admitted to. Because now we really don't know what exactly he confessed to, and thus we can never really see the point of views of the victims outside of just Persephone - and we still don't even get Persephone's, because she just walks away from him and then he gets eaten by Ouranos and next we see of him is him doing community service! Once again, any emotional development that could be given to Persephone and the other victims is stripped away to make room for the point of views of the oppressive men. In this, the two-time-Eisner-winning "feminist comic" that is LO.

And that brings us to the "where are they now" segment. Yes, as we all feared, there's a "where are they now" segment, and it's as rushed and underwhelming as we ought to have expected it to be.

There is just... so much to unpack here, and yes, all of it is delivered in the dumbest way possible that only raises more questions than answers.

So Rhea and Metis are just back and we're not gonna talk about the implications of them being alive again?

Dionysus is a 3 month year old in the body of a teenager / young adult, and his mom is just alive now because Hades conveniently got his hands on more ambrosia and brought her back to life offscreen? But somehow Triptomelus and Hedone are still child-sized relative to their ages?

How did they 'heal Zeus'? And why is he so content with losing his power as King and Apollo being sentenced to community service after making an attempt on his life? How does he feel about the letter that Hera gave him? Did he even read it?

Where the fuck is Hebe in all of this? Is she okay? Do people still think it was her who put Zeus in a coma? Or did Apollo confess to that, too?

You're telling me Hera and Echo are just in a relationship now despite the fact that Hera is literally racist towards nymphs and there is ZERO reason for them to have a relationship in the comic beyond the fans making gratuitous headcanons out of it? How is Rachel, a bisexual woman, so bad at writing actual lesbian relationships and giving them the same amount of attention as the heterocis ones without shoving them into the background as props for insincere queer rep? And what about Hera herself? How did she overcome her role as the Goddess of Marriage to finally divorce Zeus?

"Ares is still a dog!" Haha! Ares is still a Persephone simp! Happy end!

Why is Eros just standing there smiling at the camera struggling to be seen past Hedone who's just floating right in front of him? You're telling me there wasn't a better place to put her out of that entire panel?

"Hades and Thanatos have been making more time for each other. Sometimes they even have a conversation." I'm sorry, is this supposed to be funny? The man abused Thanatos for years, treated him as just a lowly employee when he was literally his adopted son, and now you're trying to play it off as a joke that they're "making more time for each other"? What the fuck is this?

TGOEM disbanded? Why? What about the women who were genuinely a part of it?

Also, Artemis and Selene are just good friends now because reasons? Because they're both affiliated with the moon, I guess? Why is Selene even in this comic-

"They are still looking for Kassandra". Who? And why? This feels like such a last minute addition to acknowledge a character that the comic spent WEEKS foreshadowing only to have her finally appear as a pointless McGuffin, but it's so last minute that it does nothing. I'm assuming it's Eros and Psyche looking for her, but like... why can't they find her? They're gods, tracking down one mortal shouldn't be that difficult LOL ???

And also, where the fuck is Leto?? You're telling me she was an accessory - maybe manipulating Apollo, maybe not - but we don't see what happened to her? Is she just back to being a social outcast then? jesus christ this comic isn't finished-

Kassandra is where the "where are they now" sequence ends, and we're treated to one final horribly written dialogue scene between Hades and Persephone, where they tell each other how much they love each other in a desperate attempt to convince the audience that this is, in fact, a romance.

There's this thing in romances called chemistry, and if you're good at writing it, you shouldn't have to write dialogue like this. You should be able to see how much the characters love each other through their actions, through their small behaviors around each other. It's not always about what they say out loud, it's about what they don't have to say, because when two people really share that close of a bond based on love and trust and chemistry, words often aren't necessary.

Hades and Persephone do not have that chemistry. It has been apparent for years now, but this final exchange really is the nail in the coffin. There are no microexpressions or subtle emotions, no subtlety in their word choice, and nothing unique setting their voices apart. It's all just "wow thank you for being such a wonderful amazing partner, you are amazing and I love you" word salad that has to do all the heavy lifting for the completely non-existent chemistry that's been at its absolute worst throughout this entire season.

And worst of all, despite this story trying so hard to be focused around Persephone, around her story, her trauma and her healing, her voice... it's still all just about Hades. In the end, she's thanking Hades, and forcing him to say "you're welcome". All of it is trying so hard to convince us that Hades has been a positive addition to her life, that she 'owes' so much to him, but we've obviously seen plenty throughout the comic that begs to differ. And even if he were a better person than he is, it still doesn't change the fact that once again, the men are being held up above the women, with the women being grateful to the men who choose them. LO can try its hardest to convince people that it's feminist, but it is, at best, reinforcing the very same structures of the patriarchal system that it claims to despise and rebel against.

We do get one line from Hades acknowledging Persephone's part in the relationship-

-and it falls so fucking flat because it's still about him and what she does for him, and because nothing about their relationship was built on any sort of organic chemistry. There was a lot more chemistry back in S1, but it was still predicated on Hades lusting after a vulnerable 19 year old girl.

Yep, and that's it. That's the end.

Except it isn't because Rachel wanted to try and be smart by including an 'epilogue' that's really just stretching the episode out pointlessly for another few panels. And of course, we had to get another time skip, just a final dose of salt in the wound, this time to years ahead when we inevitably had to reconnect with Persephone and Hades in the future after Melinoe was born.

To recap, Melinoe doesn't remember... because Hades had Morpheus erase her memories.

This plotline has really started to give me the ick because it actually feels very familiar. Bear with me here, because I'm gonna go on a bit of a tangent about my own original work, but it's because I wrote a plotline exactly like this years ago.

There's this... turning point, in Time Gate: Reaper, when the main character Uzuki is kidnapped by a Reaper (see: undead) who wants to experiment on her in the hopes that he can somehow gain her abilities to bond her soul with others (which later allows her to literally possess people after she becomes a Reaper herself). Mitsuhiro, the male deuteragonist who kickstarts the plot by telling Uzuki she's got a limited amount of time left to live (which he knows thanks to his magical death timers that mark themselves on his skin), feels an immense amount of guilt after finding out she was kidnapped by the Reapers (at this point she's been gone for three months), as they were originally after him; he worries that she was made a target simply due to him associating himself with her, and vows to rescue her.

With the help of some other spunky teenagers and anime trope characters, Mitsuhiro does eventually rescue Uzuki - but for the three months she had been gone, she had been tortured, abused, and experimented on, causing her mind to split and for her to lose any sense of awareness of who Mitsuhiro or her other friends were. She was no longer herself after the hell she had been through.

Mitsuhiro's solution to this is to have Springlock - another Reaper with motivations that are not yet clear to the cast - erase her memory. This is not a light decision that comes without consequences - for the remaining duration of the story, Uzuki is plagued by night terrors and panic attacks, unable to really remember what happened to her aside from whatever brief flashbacks her brain recalls in its haze of memory loss. She is traumatized, both physically and mentally. She has lost three months of her life and memories, and doesn't know how to explain why she's covered in scars that are still healing, why she's missing organs, why she's now blind in one eye, and why the sound of scraping metal and ticking clocks gives her panic attacks. Mitsuhiro has convinced her friends that she's suffering from memory loss due to trauma, but only he knows the truth that he forcefully took her memories away from her, without her consent. This was not the right choice to make. It was not noble of him, it was not a grand gesture of love, he made a decision on her behalf without her consent that has now resulted in her becoming a nervous wreck. Sure, she still would have had PTSD if she remembered what happened, but at least she would know why and could then seek adequate help. Without those memories, she has nowhere to begin to heal. And so we see the consequences of this throughout [AFTERBIRTH] and even the upcoming Thread of Fate. It is a long-term problem that is not going to be solved overnight, especially not with Mitsuhiro withholding information from her.

Reading about Melinoe having dreams about her experiences trapped in Tartarus with Kronos ... it felt familiar enough that I had to talk about why the insinuations of this are so fucked up. I know there are people who are gonna handwave it away as "she's just a kid", "these are gods so what does it matter", etc. but ... it just feels like such an oversight to have Hades effectively erase her memory of her trauma and then hint at them still being present in her mind through her dreams. She did not ask for that. And the fact that she's now dreaming about it all does not bode well. But we're supposed to think Hades made the correct choice, regardless.

But none of this is effectively expanded on or explained, because we get one final scene of Melinoe and Demeter visiting Persephone, who has just given birth to... Makaria?

So it turns out Persephone and Hades are just able to have biological children now. Don't know why, but of course they both look exactly like Hades.

What I was really confused by though is the fact that it's Makaria and not Brimos. Do you remember Brimos? The child that was foreshadowed in Hades' original fantasy dream sequence about his future children about Persephone?

Either Rachel completely forgot about him, or she saw all the criticism over the fact that Brimos isn't a confirmed child of Hades and Persephone (rather, an epithet that can apply to basically any Underworld god including Persephone and Hades) and that her "research" was dependent on a book she read when she was 13 and decided to axe that. But she went to the effort of establishing that all the dreams Hades had were , in fact, canon visions of the future, so good job Rachel, you created yet another plothole on top of the hundreds of others.

And that's where the series ends, on a final nuclear-family-photo of Persephone, Hades, Melinoe, and Makaria. Of course, Dionysus and Thanatos aren't present in this shot because this is Lore Olympus and only biological children count /hj

Why Rachel couldn't move the "the end" portion to THIS part, I don't know, but I'm also expecting way too much of the person who finished this 20 minutes before it was due.

So that's it. Six years and that's what we get. I didn't expect much, but I was still incredibly disappointed, as were many others who walked away from this dazed and confused. Maybe it's all the "haters" deserve at this point. But what of the fans? While many of them are celebrating this ending at best and tolerating it at worst, I can't help but think of the fans of this comic who hung on for so long in the hopes it would "pay off", just for it to go out as gloriously as a wet fart.

As for me, I have such mixed feelings about Lore Olympus ending, but none of them pertain to the comic itself. Most of what I'll miss from this comic isn't the comic itself, but the people who have made reading it every week so fun, the artists and writers who have enriched the content with their own interpretations of what could have been, and the experiences of being part of such an amazing community made up of people who are as long-term-obsessed about this piece of media as I am.

I get people who ask me a lot if it's "worth it" to be so engrossed in the LO slander, who assume that I'm going to "regret" ever being a part of it all... but from where I'm standing right now, I couldn't ask for a better view.

Even if I didn't love every minute of it, everything I have here I owe to this comic. This stupid, wonderful, boring, amazing, pile of shit comic.

#lore olympus critical #anti lore olympus #lo critical

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water-to-drink · 3 months ago

Note

You want a request? Sure, here ya go! 😀

Back when Genshin Impact first came out, a lot of folks compared it to The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild. (Some even thought Hoyoverse was directly copying Nintendo, if you can believe it) This little nugget of info was stored away in my head for some time, and now it's finally borne fruit!

SAGAU universe, bc ofc it is, where Creator!Reader would turn off the Genshin music and instead listen to Zelda tunes as they play! Nobody in Teyvat knows where these songs come from, but the Vision Holders who have heard them believe these melodies to be of holy origin. Something that connects them to their Creator, and is either shared to the masses or kept amongst themselves...a secret that only those blessed to be the Makers Vessels are to know.

If we're going the Imposter SAGAU route, it could be that our poor Creator is awaiting to be executed by the Genshin Cast. In an attempt to comfort themselves, they hum one of the songs that they love from the Zelda games (Zeldas Lullaby is always a favorite of mine personally) and the Acolytes overhear them. Whether this leads to more harm or to the Reader getting help, I'll leave that up to you.

Divine Melody

(Synopsis): After being transported to one of your favorite game you’re a accused of being an imposter but a melody changes the minds of Teyvat

(Tags/Warnings): Reader is treated as an imposter, reader almost dies, (if I missed anything lmk)

(Word Count): 770

(A/n): I remember that era, it was a ridiculous accusation to throw, and I hope this fulfills your expectations

A bright light shines in your face causing you to open your eyes

You find yourself in a grassy field and laying in the shade of a large tree. Odd you don’t remember falling asleep outside, this area looks pretty familiar. After a few seconds of trying to figure out where you are, you looked to see a statue

The statue looked absolutely majestic, walking to the front of it you saw that it was holding a glowing teal orb and the statue is in the likeness of Venti

The realization hit you like a ton of bricks

You’re at Windrise, you’re in Genshin

Excitement fills you and instantly began to run to Mondstadt City

Being transported to your favorite video game is supposed to be an amazing experience. Experience the world first person, interact with the characters, all that good jazz. That’s what you expected when you step foot in the city

Instead of the kind smiles you would normally see from behind your screen you were met with the people whispering amongst themselves whilst looking at you

Odd, you kept walking around the city until a knight came up to you and pointed his sword at you

“Halt, foul imposter!” The knight spat out. “How dare you come here wearing their holy presence.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I just woke up like-” You were cut off by the sword coming closer to your neck

You looked around to see a crowd gathered around waiting for you, the intensity of the situation only grew and so without much hesitation you ran away from the knight and the crowd

You ran until you bumped into a person, looking up you see Kaeya

“Oh thank god! Kaeya please explain to these people that they got it all wrong, I’m not an imposter!” You pleaded

But why did he look at you with such contempt and disgust? Without a word from him he restrained you, his grip ironclad threatening to leave bruises to your arms

“I got them!” Kaeya yelled at the crowd

The mob gathered around you and bound your hands behind your back and the two knights lead you to a jail cell that had long been abandoned

Why were they treating you this way, you’ve done nothing wrong. Hopeless you curled up into ball on the floor and began to cry uncontrollably

You don’t know how long you spent crying when a knight came to get you from your dingy cell. She took you outside and you the moment you were out the sun blinded you. As you were lead through the street the people pelted rotten fruit at you

All that was going through your mind was “why”

Why are they doing all of these awful things to you, the yells of contempt was a stark contrast to the friendly smiles you’re used to seeing

As you got closer you saw the stake that you’re about to be tied to and set alight, the reality hit you and in a desperate attempt to calm your mind you begin to hum a melody that you would listen to while playing the game

You hum loudly to drown out the chants from the crowd. Strangely it comforted you, perhaps in your last moments finding solace in familiarity pushes the situation out of your mind.

You hummed loudly that someone heard you

“Stop! Stop! Stop!” A familiar voice yelled, quieting the crowd

You look up to see it was Venti who was standing before you. He gets down on his knees and looks you in the eyes

“That melody, sing it again.”

You kept humming the tune and the vision holders all had horrified looks on their faces, they all drop to their knees and bowed before you

“Your Grace, please forgive us for our grave mistake.�� Jean said

“W-what are you talking about?” You asked confused beyond comprehension

“Your Grace, do you not realize that you are the creator of Teyvat?” Eula said

You ended the story and looked around at the faces of the children gathered around you. A story that is long behind you and now you dictate your time in teaching future generations the lesson

“What was the song you sang, your Grace?” A girl asked

“It was a song that the vessels would hear when I would pilot them, here let me hum it to you.” You began to hum the melody and as the song progressed you saw the children slowly get lulled to sleep. Finishing your tune you stood up from you chair and whispered “Goodnight, my sweet children.”

#genshin x reader #genshin fanfic #genshin impact x reader #genshin sagau #sagau #genshin imposter au #self aware genshin #genshin x gn reader #genshin x female reader #genshin x male reader #genshin x f!reader #genshin x m!reader #genshin x gender neutral reader #sagau venti #sagau kaeya #imposter sagau #sagau jean #sagau eula

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gay-jesus-probably · 10 months ago

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I like the general fandom trend to just take the plot of Hyrule Warriors as a loose guideline at best and just use the whole concept as a good excuse to get blorbos to interact across timelines, BUT I'm very disappointed that everyone is missing the comedic potential of a very specific squad of characters:

Young Link (aka Mask), who walks out of the nightmare of Majora's Mask and immediately gets portal kidnapped into a temporal war, takes one look at the whole mess and decides that you could not fucking pay him to admit to being the resident expert on Time Shenanigans. He introduces himself with the title of Hero of Termina, and definitely doesn't have any other ones, that would be crazy. Hero of Time? Never heard of him.

Tetra, who is a kickass pirate captain with zero patience for people trying to shove her into the Designated Princess role, and realizes immediately that Oh Fuck, this Hyrule has a lot of Ideas about how the Hero and the Princess are supposed to properly play their parts, the second they realize she's technically a Zelda they're gonna shove her in a goddamn dress and damsel her again, that's not happening. So she's definitely just a really cool pirate captain, nothing else going on here at all, definitely not the heir of the Hylian royal family in her time, that'd be crazy.

Ravio, who is literally just a palette swapped Link, meaning that the second his hood comes off, things are gonna get Awkward. There's no way in hell he's dealing with all that Hero baggage, that's Link work, so that giant bunny hood/mask is practically superglued to his head, and he's not taking it off for love or money.

Spirit Tracks Zelda, who is just in the Phantom Armour the whole time, and passing herself off as just a friendly ghost posessing a suit of armour to help the Hero of Spirits. Of course she isn't Princess Zelda, that's ridiculous, if she were a Zelda then people would start getting really weird about her technically being dead, and boy does that ever sound like a whole Thing she doesn't want to deal with, so she can't possibly be Zelda, she's just a nice ghost knight. Also, her teenage grandma is here, and that's kinda weird, so it's easier to just not admit to being royalty and avoid that awkward conversation.

Finally there's Sheik, who is not the Princess Zelda of the era straight up abandoning her war torn country for months at a time so she can risk her life in extreme cosplay for no clear reason, but is instead the actual Sheik from Ocarina of Time, who just beat Ganondorf like a month ago and is still trying to process what the fuck to do now. Also, he's been pretending to be a boy since he was ten, and is realizing there's a pretty good chance that he isn't pretending anymore, so that's a whole other can of worms. But for the last seven years of his life, being Princess Zelda meant certain death, so he's not really inclined to introduce himself like when in a new and stressful situation (not to mention he might actually just not be a girl named Zelda anymore), so he automatically introduces himself as just Sheik the spooky ninja man, and fuck he's in too deep to back out now, looks like he's committing to the bit. If you think you sense the Triforce of Wisdom on him, no you don't.

Cue shenanigans as the five of them attempt to hide that they're all actually kind of A Big Deal. The group motto is "Nobody says shit", which is usually delivered as a frantic hiss whenever someone slips up. Just the reunion between Sheik and Mask alone would be absolutely buckwild given how they parted, and how they're both frantically pretending to Not be involved with each other. For added hilarity and/or drama, Sheik gives his semi-bullshit cover story of having just been a friend of the Hero of Time, then runs into said Hero of Time and they both have to desperately pretend not to know each other, because if anyone picks up on the mountain of baggage between them then Mask is busted, and he won't hesitate to drag Sheik down with him out of sheer spite. Not to mention the weird balance of Sheik being used to this Link being a teenager that's actually a small child, and now has to adjust to Link who is a small child that's actually a teenager.

Also, i really feel like we're all missing out on the comedy potential of Ganondorf recognizing Young Link on sight and the two of them immediately launching into a grudge match with some extremely personal and specific insults on both sides. Meanwhile literally everybody else is just standing there watching, trying to process the fact that out of every single person that's been pulled out of time, Ganondorf only has personal beef with a literal nine year old.

I just feel like we're all really sleeping on the potential for Shenanigans here. The whole thing is an absurd mess, why not have some fun with it?

#legend of zelda #hyrule warriors #for the record im picturing the sheik-mask reunion as being the spiderman pointing meme for like five minutes #also my mental image of sheik is extremely Bad haircut (he does it himself with a knife and doesnt care about making it even)#and a ridiculous tanline across his face from wearing a mask all day #OOT magiaclly growing out zelda's hair and manifesting a Royal Gown was some top tier bullshit and i'm always angry about it #like dude. literally all of princess zelda's finery was made for a ten year old #she's like eighteen now. nobody's making royal finery for teenage zelda. where was she supposed to get that dress.#i am eternally on my agenda to let zelda wear some goddamn pants without an immediate magic makeover to *fix* it #anyways nintendo's sexism aside i like sheik being trans its very fun and sexy of him #tfw you go into hiding to escape political assassination and accidentally trans your gender in the process

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mirensiart · 1 month ago

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For the pain sharing AU: what is each boy's most "embarrassing" reoccurring pain? Be it physical or emotional

Ooough lemme think 🤔

Sky: I personally don't see him as being easily embarrassed lol but if I had to choose I bet he feels a lil self conscious over how much he aches thanks to missing zelda so much, like the chain teased him over his infatuation over her a lot pre-curse, but now that they can feel just how lovesick he is, I bet it makes him a lil bit uncomfy

Four: the migraines, I bet, like he gets them a lot, especially post-portal hopping

Time: I wanna project my awful terrible back pain to him, so yeah, back pain lol u know that one scene from the incredibles when bob is fighting that robot and his back starts acting up until it cracks back into place? Like I can see that happening to him a lot lol

Twilight: the midna heartache lmao

Wind: I like the headcanon that he struggles with blisters on his feet cause of not being used to walking, since back home he was raised in a small island and then sailed everywhere, he's embarrassed of the blisters and feet pain cause he doesn't want to be seen as weak and also cause he knows the other will fuss over him

Legend: his chronic/joint pain :( also the emotional pain being in wind's hyrule/lurelin village causes him (the sea)

Warriors: I headcanon him as being super nightmare pilled lol like this baby can fit so many nightmares (war related, traitors related, cia related, etc) pre-curse he played it cool since he's great at pretending he's OK (he's not lol) but with the curse everyone keeps waking up over his nightmare emotional pain and he's mortified the others know

Hyrule: ooooh if we go with the hyrule is part fairy headcanon then I bet he's very embarrassed over how much iron hurts him lol

Wild: probably the emotional pain his memory moments cause him since he doesn't have control over them and he doesn't like how the others look at him post a specifically painful one

#lu pain sharing au #also as a bonus:#i personally hc wars twi and sky as womb havers so it's the period pain for them lol #like the first time it happens and everyone else feels it gets chaotic af lmao #miry's ask box

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mechaknight-98 · 8 months ago

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No Return (NSFW) FT: Sakura Miyawaki

Authors note: Sakura is hot and likes the nerdy stuff I like, but she is also an exceptionally talented idol who deserves all of the best and one of my top biasses. I just didn't know what to write for her until this popped in my head

Part II

I sat down to play Warframe with my friend “FearlessKura98” She was waiting for me despite the time difference. I was a bit early so the typical hour we usually played together was extended.

“Yo kkura what's up.” I greet her in Japanese when I see her name pop up on the voice chat.

“Oh Daigo you're Japanese sounds so good now,” she replies in English. I smiled and replied “So does your English Kkura.” there was silence but I assumed it was just due to Kkura smiling. As you set up you hear a massive crash.

“What was that?” Kkura asked

“I don't know but I'll be right back,” I say to Kkura.

“Daigo be careful,” Kkura responded.

“Will do Kkura,” I say. I get up and walk outside to a very different world than before

3 years later.

I sat on the plane to Tokyo anxiety stricken. A kaiju could attack at any time and the defense force had consistently proven itself to be “unreliable.”

I was going under the code name Juzo to help a recently established Kaiju strike team; that was having trouble with the new batch of EVO kaiju that had been popping up lately. I was unsure of my effectiveness but the chance to visit Japan with no other strings attached was too much of an opportunity to miss so Otrimi and I made the flight. It was a long flight and upon landing both Otrimi and I were certainly restless but hey we got there safely. At the airport, Otrimi and I were picked up by a pretty brunette.

“Hi Juzo San.” the young lady said

“Hello Mrs…”

“Oh call me Sakura.” the young lady said. I nod and we follow her into a nearby car. Otrimi walks over to Sakura who immediately falls for his charms. “Oh, who's a good boy? Sit.” she says as she pets him “his fur is so soft.” she adds as she turns to me

“Hey Juzo-san what's his name?”Sakura asks.

“Otrimi,” I answer

“O-Tri-Mi?” she asked she nods

“You're English is Good,” I say to her.

“Thanks!” she said elated, “my friend I used to play games with helped me,” she added.

“Oh, that's how I learned Japanese,” I reply with a bemused tone as we get into the car. Otrimi took the back. His tail wagging happily. Sakura raised an eyebrow and then switched to her maternal tongue.

“Oh really?” Sakura asks

“Yeah my skills are lackluster but I can somewhat read and write it,” I respond

“Well, you sound good. You have a bit of a Kagoshima dialect like me but whoever taught you did a good job” Sakura says with a smile.

“Thanks” I reply.

As we drove I remembered she said she played Games

“You Sakura. You mentioned you play games what games do you play?”

“Mostly smash bros on my switch and Zelda.”

“Oh, nice. We should play together.” I say. Sakura smiled and replied

“Wow whoever taught had a thick Kagoshima dialect.” sakura affirmed I laughed with her as she began to crack up. We arrived at the facility where the dorms, training center, and rejuvenating springs were. Sakura leads Otrimi and me through the facility. There seemed to be a lot of faces and people working to put an end to the invaders and kaiju threat we faced. Otrimi and I were on edge as we walked through the facility. The intense glare of several faces kinda puts me on edge. Unfortunately, Sakura had to say the following,

“So everyone is excited to meet you,” Sakura said reassuringly as if sending my tension.

“Oh, the dirty side glares made me feel welcome,” I replied sarcastically

“Wait really?” she asked surprised. I nodded and as if on cue a young woman with red hair came up and said

“Sakura who is this?” the girl said in high-defense mode

“Oh this is Juzo he's from the La Brea Institute of Kaiju Studies.” sakura explained

“But why does he look like an invader?” she asked coldly

“Well, being abducted and placed into their evolution vats, then being forced to fight in their flesh pits for 6 months kinda changes you a bit,” I reply. The red hair girl looked down embarrassed when she noticed Otrimi.

“Oh he's so cute.” the redhead said as she bent down to pet my Aragami. Otrimi eased under her touch and then she looked back at me

“My name is Yunjin and Sorry about my rudeness earlier. It's just no one has ever seen the mysterious Juzo before, but hears tales of this mighty Kaiju slayer. I expected you to be older.”

“I'm 26 which feels pretty old,” I reply

Yunjin’s eyes go wide “Oh Sakura chan he's the same age as Dahyun, Jisun, Jiwon, and you.” sakura nods in surprise. Ad Sakura’s tour continues

“So Sakura how did you get into all of this?” I ask curiously

“Well, I was an idol before this.”

“Oh, what kind?”

“K-pop,” Sakura said with a smile

I raised an eyebrow “Oh that's super interesting.” I replied

“Thanks and you?” Sakura

“Oh um well I was an urban photographer,” I answer. Sakura nods intrigued as we continue to make small talk. As we move through the facility a wave of familiar comfort crashes into me as I talk to Sakura. It felt as if I had known her forever.

Eventually, the little tour comes to an end. We arrived at a dorm and Sakura opened it.

“Welcome to your new home for the time being,” she said. I look around

“Get comfortable tomorrow is going to be busy for you tomorrow.” she teased. I nod and Sakura leaves before she can get too far I walk out to her

“Wait Sakura,” I yell.

She turns back to me with eyes full of surprise, she asks “Oh, Juzo what's up?”

“Thanks for helping me out today and picking me up today,” I said.

Sakura smiles bright and says as she waves goodbye “Have a good one, but just one.”

I furrow my eyebrows in recognition because I only know one person who uses that phrase. To confirm my suspicion I follow up with, “ya know that's quite presumptuous of you. What if I want to have a good two or 3?” Sakura turns around with eyes even wider and more surprised.

“Daigo?” was all she questioned. I tilt my head to the left and smile, “You are fearless.” I responded. Kura ran to me and gave me a tight hug.

“It's been so long.” she sighed as she melted into my arms. I wrapped my arms around her

“Yeah, it has,” I respond, and for a moment time stops I am not the Kaiju slayer Juzo but I'm the young man Daigo who loves to play video games with his friends and take funny pictures. I try not to cry but a few tears streak down my face.

I looked down to see Kura was in a similar situation. We smile at each other and I'm just overcome by emotions I tilt her face up and I kiss her. She pushes me back into my room before she breaks the kiss and locks the door.

“I want no distractions,” she said hungrily. Then pushes me onto the bed where she kisses me again. She caresses my face. My arms slide up and down her waste unsure of where to move or how to go.

“Wow you're green,” she teased as she came up for air between kisses.

“In sorry I haven't dated while being in an almost one-man war for the past year and a half.” Sakura chuckled and shook her head

“No like your lines are green. They were dark brown before,” she said laughing to prove her point she moved my hand to her chest and I could see the teal lines over my arms.

“Oh yeah they change colors,” I said embarrassed.

“I like it,” Sakura said as she smiled before bringing me into another kiss. I felt her tongue give an exploratory poke into my mouth she broke this kiss and looked at me. “Tell me everything,” she said as pupils grew to the size of dinner plates as she lifted her shirt. I quickly get the memo and undress. sakura smiles

“So after I last talked to you I walked outside to see the invaders (they refer to themselves as Carnothians) abducting people. I tried to run but was grabbed by one and then everything got muddy until after the evolution pits.” I say as Sakura and I reconnect. My hands caress her perky breasts and she moans. She grinds her sex on mine as our bodies connect for the first time.

“You're bigger than I thought.” Sakura cokes. I groan and reply

“You're so tight.” Sakura giggles as she begins to grind a bit harder. I groan again overwhelmed by all the sensations and emotional build-up. Sakura looks at my eyes with a somber but happy look.

As I thrust in and out of her she said, “I thought you died. I felt so alone. We'd been playing together for 3 years and then you went and disappeared. I never touched Warframe again. I couldn't. the pain was too much to bear.” she said as she went for a particularly deep rut.

“Oh god yes!” she yelled as she ruffled her hair. She threw her head back as she pushed me flat onto the bed. “Squeeze my tits and tell me about the Flesh pits.” she groaned sensually.

I began to remember and my body lurched and not in a good way. Sakura noticed and asked “What's wrong ?” she looked down to see my lines change from a tranquil teal to a chaotic crimson, as my mind flashed back. Before anything else could escalate I lifted Sakura off of me. She tried to stop me but couldn't. Most likely due to the gap in strength. Sakura looks at me confused and a little hurt until she sees the torment in my features.

“I'm sorry I didn't mean to push too hard” Kura exclaimed

I shrug and respond, “It's fine kura. I just…am not ready to talk about it right now.”

“No, I get it. I mean your lines changed. I felt and saw the change.” Sakura reassured me. I smiled and kissed her forehead.

Sakura rolled her eyes, “I didn't take you for the sappy type.”

“Oh, I'm very much the sentimental type.” I fired back and Kura smiled.

“Gosh I missed you, you big dummy,” Kura said with a smile. She nestled to my side to cuddle. I pulled the blanket over us as we lay in the bed together.

“We are going to finish what we started” Sakura muttered

“Deal,” I said Kura turned to face me and kissed my nose. She then moved my hands to her breasts again as she turned around.

“I know you like them” Kura teased

“I mean what straight guy doesn't.” I defend, “You also have a nice butt too” I add. Kura smiles

“Thanks, pervert.” Kura teased

“Nah you started this.” I retaliate as I nestle closer to her. I rest my chin on her right shoulder and she keeps me close. I kiss her cheek as we sit tight together. “This is so weird”

“Why?” Kura asked

“I would've never imagined my gaming pal would be such a beauty,” I answered. Kira smiled then turned to me and we started kissing again.

After an hour of cuddling and kissing my stomach growled. Kura had her tongue down my throat as winning our tug-of-war match. I had been rock hard and waiting for the green light to go to the next step

as she said, “Okay let's try this again.” Kura’s stomach growled. I chuckled

“Okay well let's get food before we defile each other. I joke sakura gives me a toothy grin as she gets up, and for some reason, the way her perfect ass gently sways triggers something in me. Something old something ancient something primal. I got up. Smacked Kura’s perfect ass and slid my cock into her tight snatch.

“Oh yes,” Kura moaned. As rested her hands on my desk. I grabbed Kura’s soft waist and thrust hard and deep. Kura yelped with Joy. “Yes claim this slutty pussy.” she said as I thrust again. By the thrust, she was a moaning mess and she came, but before I could finish there was a knock on the door. Kura and I looked at each other before she raced to my bathroom and handed me my sweatpants and t-shirt. I open the door to see Yunjin waiting patiently.

“Hey, have you seen Sakura? She was supposed to meet me for lunch and never showed,”

I didn't know Sakura’s reputation or the rules of interpersonal relationships here so I employed tactical omissions of details or TOOD for short (patent pending) “I don't know where Kura Chan is right at this moment.” Yunjin eyes me suspicious

“Kura chan?” she asked

“Yeah, Kura Chan.” I affirmed

“You know only one person calls well called her that,” Yunjin said

“Really who?” I asked

“Well, apparently you Daigo.” Yunjin teased

My eyes widened and I told Yunjin to keep it on the hush.

“Don't worry Don't worry your secret is safe with me. (she leans into my room) hey Sakura are we still on for JJK tonight?” Yunjin asked My bathroom opened and Kura gave Yunjin an annoyed look.

“You couldn't let me have this?” she asked annoyed

“Not a chance. For all the times you caught me linking with Tobi it seemed fair to give a little of that back.” Yunjin said

“They were accidents” Kura stated. Yunjin rolled her eyes.

“Bring Daigo and snacks,” she said before leaving. I closed the door and Sakura huffed

“It was 2 times.” she huffed

“Kura it's okay” I reassure her

#kpop fanfic #le sserafim sakura #miyawaki sakura #miyawaki sakura smut #izone smut #le sserafim #le sserafim smut

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