#Nothing lost but my sense of dignity

[nobodytellsme-anything]

violently uncomfortable with the fact that I started on tumblr as a die hard part of the Adventures in Odyssey fandom. The Christian kids’ radio show from the 90’s. My brother mentioned this to me and I did not like that. What do you mean I wrote fanfic for local troubled white boy that I couldn’t even see because it was an Audio Drama. Anyways I still love you Jason

[swordsandholly]

Cherry Bomb - tattoo parlor anothology

MDNI | poly 141 x fem fat reader | masterlist | cw: oral (reader receiving)

Part Ten: Permission

A/N: We're SO back!

You’ve never been so happy to work an extra day.

Johnny gets the shop to himself on Sundays for walk-ins. Usually, he mans the shop by himself but you need to record the cash income from the convention in the ledger. Sure, you could do that during your usual hours the upcoming Wednesday and catch up on sleep, but you have too much nervous energy coursing through you. If you were home you would just be stewing on your couch the hole day and probably spiral into a panic attack. At least here, with a task and Johnny yapping in your ear, you don’t have to think about the fact that you made out with your boss too much.

Fuck. You really did that. Fuck, fuck, fuck!

You woke up in a cold sweat, fingers brushing over your lips as you tried to decipher if it was real or dreamed. If you really kissed John, if he really held a hand on your lower back as he walked you home, if he really gave you a second, light peck before saying goodnight. The itch of his beard lingers, as well as the warmth where his hands cupped your face. It felt so good. So fucking good.

Then the context settles in. The fact that you kissed your boss makes you want to throw up - not for any dislike of it, just the fact that your job is now in limbo. Hanging in the balance until you can talk to him on Wednesday. At least you can take the next couple days to collect your thoughts - come up with a good apology that will hopefully let you keep your job and some semblance of dignity. Somehow make sense of the fact that you’ve kissed John and Kyle and surely when they find out they’ll think you’re a floosy. Loose and easy and pathetic and gross. You couldn’t quite meet your own eye in the mirror as you tried to get ready for the day.

The current, formerly “Future You” is not very happy with the now Past You. Frankly, you’d like to deck her for leaving you in this state of a permanent heart attack.

“Och, I’m about tae melt.” Johnny mutters, appearing from his room and stretching. His shirt rides up, exposing a thick happy trail that does not help you in your current spiral.

You just hum, gluing your eyes to the physical spreadsheet in front of you as you go through the sales from the convention. Numbers will clear your head. Yeah, nothing less sexy or more distracting than trying to do math with pen, paper and a TI-84 calculator.

“We should go get some ice cream.” Johnny leans over behind you, causing you to jump. Large hands settle on your shoulders as he rests his chin on the top of your head. At least Johnny is always touchy, you don’t have to read into it. You don’t think you could handle reading into it right now.

“Uh, yeah, okay.” You murmur, letting him lead you out of the office and flipping the out for lunch sign. You’ve been so lost in your head the entire day that you can’t fully pull yourself out of it - the same spiral of fears and self-degradation swirling around in your mind. A Cat 5 tornado of your own making. So stupid.

Johnny intertwines your fingers as you make your way down the street. Your hands swing lightly as you walk. Even with the heat, it doesn’t feel like too much. You’re not sure what it is - of you’re just comfortable or if Johnny just has something about him that makes touch feel perfectly natural - but it’s never overwhelming. Even when he’s hanging off you like a leech, it’s just Johnny. He doesn’t make you talk, doesn’t pry into why you’re so spaced out. He probably just thinks you’re tired. You are tired. So tired.

You don’t realize Johnny is saying something until he gently elbows your side. “Huh?”

“What d’ye want?” Johnny asks with a concerned furrow in his brow.

“Oh, uh, I can get my own-“

”My treat.” He shakes his head, batting away the hand pulling your wallet out of your back pocket. You have no choice but to give in to him - there isn’t any point in arguing with Johnny.

“Thanks for suggesting this.” You murmur, as you sit at one of the wooden, outdoor tables in front of the shop a couple blocks down from the tattoo parlor. The tables are covered in the shade of trees and an awning, luckily, keeping the sun from beating down on you. It doesn’t stop your ice cream from melting nearly faster than you can eat it, but you don’t have the heart to complain after Johnny took you out and bought it for you.

“Aye. Seemed like ye needed some cheerin’ up. Never seen ye so sullen.” Johnny comments, casually stuffing a spoonful of ice cream in his mouth. His eyes are sympathetic, though.

“Oh.” You thought you’d been doing alright at hiding it - came into the shop with a jokes and everything this morning. Sometimes it’s easy to forget how much Johnny actually notices between all his volume and energy.

“Gonnae tell me about it?”

“No.”

“Might help.”

You shake your head. “I- I’m- I can’t.”

“Okay.” He smiles gently, giving you a once over. His eyes are so sharp. The others do it too - take your body language in piece by piece. It doesn’t burn like when Johnny does it, though. His gaze is consuming, even when soft.

He seems to let you off the hook, though. It’s impossible to know how much he does or doesn’t know - how much any of them know. It puts you on edge, the inability to ask. After all, to ask is to admit. If you admit to it, you might lose it all. Fuck why did you kiss John? Kyle you can explain away - just a fun little bet. You’re close in age, he’s pretty, you’re together a lot, you get along. Nothing to it - even if it feels like there was. Even if it feels like every time you’re near him you’re going to melt and the air gets too thick and all you want is to pull him to the back room one more time.

John… John you can’t justify like that. He’s your boss. He’s over a decade older than you. Easily. He’s been so good to you but that’s not an excuse - it’s not right. You’re jeopardizing his place in his community. You’re jeopardizing your job. The best job you’ve ever had. The best friends you’ve ever had.

You can feel Johnny glancing at you as you walk, your eyes square on the ground and fists clenched anxiously. The heat outside only makes your head spin faster. Your cheeks feel feverishly hot. The ice cream almost curdles in your gut. Everything is too loud, too hot, too heavy.

You glance up at the clock. The day’s almost over - there probably won’t be more than one or two people that file in at most. You’ve finished with your work, currently just cross hatching on a sticky note in an attempt to calm your frayed nerves. It hasn’t worked. You need a distraction. A real, proper distraction.

“Johnny.” You snap, standing in the door way to his workroom.

“Hm?” He looks up, thick brows raised.

“I want a piercing.”

He cocks his head, taking you in from head to toe. “Aye?”

“If you have time.”

“I’ve always got time fer ye.” He grins.

You almost roll your eyes, but you’re too raw at the edges to really care about his usual flirting. There’s too much weighing on your mind - too much real anxiety knotting itself around your synapses and crushing them in it’s hold. The pain will help. It’ll ground you - sharpen your senses. You can focus on taking care of it for the next couple days between sleeping the days away until Wednesday. Until you can get this shit over with.

The only answer is to quit, right?

That’s your only option.

“What d’ye want?” Johnny asks.

You shrug. “What’d you think?”

He taps his chin, eyes slowly making their way over your body. You wonder if he can see how tense you are - body so locked up your joints ache and your jaw throbs. It’s a wonder your teeth are still there with how much you’ve been grinding them.

“How about a navel?”

“Okay.” You agree too quickly, flopping back on the pairing table. You focus in on a water mark on the ceiling above while Johnny digs through his tool cabinet, laying everything neatly on a small rolling tray.

Johnny stops above you. You don’t even turn your head to look, fists clenching and unclenching.

You’ll have to quit.

That’s your only choice. No reference calls, no contact. Will Simon hate you? Will they all? Will they talk about why you up and left? Will they show up at your apartment to demand an answer? No. You don’t mean that much - only a blip on the timeline of their shop. The corners of your eyes burn.

Johnny’s fingers skate over your soft middle, barely touching as he passes over the button of your jeans. He pauses, glancing down at you. “Bonnie?”

“Yeah?” You reply a little too harshly.

Johnny leans over you, hands on either side of your head, blue eyes burning through your skull. He blocks out the light above. “Yer doin’ this because ye want to, yeah? Not to punish yerself?”

You shrink into the table, hackles raising. It really is so easy to forget that Johnny is an observant bastard. Loud, brash, but he still sees everything. Like how he learned your coffee order by heart without you ever even saying it to him or having it written on the cup. He absorbs things, files it away, keeps it close to his chest and hides it behind his blunt, brash daily manners. You’ll miss him.

“I- yeah, I’m fine.” You wince internally at the shake in your voice.

“Y’know, we all love ye.” Johnny murmurs.

You huff, eyes darting anywhere to get away from his. Laying on the table suddenly feels slightly trapping. You can’t get your gaze fully away from where he stands over you - so close as his thick arms cage you in. “Guess so.”

“An’ there’s nothin’ tae feel guilty or bad about.”

Your eyes snap to his face, wide and worried. Does he know? Was he told? Do you ask? If you ask, you’ll be admitting to it. If you ask, then he will know for sure. If you ask, you might ruin it all. “I don’t-“

“Ye do.” He cuts you off. “An’ ye have permission, even if ye dinnae need it. It’s okay. Ye havennae done anythin’ wrong.”

You stare, mouth opening and closing lamely. Johnny. Straight forward, loud mouth, unsubtle Johnny. Fuck, you love him for it. Doesn’t dance around what he means. Doesn’t avoid what needs to be said - from his end, at least.

“Did- did you talk to-?” You stutter, struggling between needing to know and fear to admit the truth so blatantly. Even if he obviously knows something.

“Not really. Not my business.” Johnny shrugs casually.

Not his business. So they persue separately, you think. That makes sense. Probably. It’s probably wrong to make assumptions about the dynamic, about the implication that they have some sort of free for all. Then again, you don’t really know anything about their interpersonal workings much. They live together, they’re touchy. The dynamic is a mystery to you - only adding to the piles of confusion.

“Yer thinkin’ tae hard about it.” He pokes the furrow between your brows.

Oh. Is that it? You’re overthinking? No, adults talk about these things. You don’t understand the interpersonal workings here at all. Are they together? Do they just do this? Pull girls in and push them around until they get tired? That feels too cruel for them. They’ve taken such good care of you…

“I still… want to talk.” You murmur, cheeks warm.

His face softens, a light smile tugging at his lips. “An’ ye will. Kyle’s been damn near loosin’ it with ye avoiding him.”

“I’m not avoiding him!” You snap far too defensively.

“Sure ye aren’t.” Johnny shrugs, as if to tell you he knows that’s bull. Not his business, though, he said. “Just… donnae be so scared of us, aye? We’ve got yer back.”

Your shoulders drop, sore from being tensed for the entire day. “Okay.”

“Still want tae get peirced?”

You nod, chest far less tight. As though you finally let go of a breath you had been holding the entire day. “Sure, why not.”

Your shoulders slump as Johnny makes his way through the usual song and dance - showing you the freshly cleaned tools and marking the spot for the needle. Somehow the world seems… quieter. As if all the chatter in your mind had been just as deafening to your physical ears. It’s tiring. That same sting behind your eyes that you get after a long night out. Your defenses are down, and your body is finally at rest.

“Ow!” You gasp, lifting your head to meet Johnny’s impish grin with a glare. “A little warning next time!”

“Tha’s what happens when ye donnae listen.” He teases, slipping the jewelry through. “She’s cute.”

You snort. “She better be. Y’know I should tell John on you for improper conduct.”

He cocks an eyebrow. “Aye, ye an’ Price know plenty about improper conduct.”

There’s no malice in the comment, or in the grin he settles on you. For once, you don’t freeze up. Don’t send yourself into a panic spiral over what he knows or thinks or feels. Johnny made himself clear. Instead you land a light smack against his arm and huff in embarrassment.

“Stand f’me.” Johnny murmurs after cleaning the piercing, a heat in his eyes that you can’t quite gauge the source of.

You do as you’re told, slipping off the table. You have to hook a finger into the waistband of your jeans to keep them up, cheeks hot as you realize how much is actually exposed with the fully undone fly. You glance up at a far too pleased Johnny. Didn’t even say a word, the mischievous bastard.

He drops to his knees in front of you. Your brows shoot damn near into the sky. Johnny mumbles something about making sure the piercing is sitting right. You roll with it, knowing he’s probably just saying whatever to get you to keep your pants undone a little longer. Your breath quickens as a large, warm hand flattens itself over your soft belly, unabashedly groping. Not that you mind, really, even if it does make your face so hot it might melt.

Your heart almost breaks out of your rib cage when he places a small kiss next to the piercing. His hand lowers, resting beside yours on the waistband of your jeans.

“May I?” Johnny murmurs, big blue eyes blinking up at you.

You have permission.

You don’t need permission.

You have it, though.

“Yeah.” You gasp, shivering at the cold air on your skin as Johnny pulls your pants halfway down your thighs.

“Pretty, pretty lass.” He murmurs, nipping at the softness of your belly and down to your thigh. “Look at ye.”

“Flatterer.” You scoff, attempting to let the tension melt off your shoulders with the usual snide remarks you slide each others way.

“M’just honest…” Johnny mumbles absently, fingers catching in the hems of your underwear. “Ye always walkin’ around in somethin’ this skintie?”

For a moment, your brows knit in confusion. That is until he pulls back and snaps the string of your thong against your hip. Your face somehow gets even hotter and you grumble out a poor excuse of, “S’laundry day…”

Your hips twitch as he traces between your lips through the cloth. So uncharacteristically slow and methodical for Johnny as he feels you, like he’s trying to memorize it. A shamefully harsh jolt runs up your spine as he presses just slightly into your clit.

“Sensitive little thing.” Johnny grins up at you. You swear the devil has a less delinquent grin.

“It’s been a while.” You shrug, aiming once again for casual and missing by a mile.

His grin only grows, eyes bright and hungry. “Let’s get these off.”

You shimmy your hips a bit to help him get both your underwear and jeans completely down. A wave of shyness overtakes you as it settles in that you’re utterly exposed to Johnny, your friend and coworker, in the middle of your workplace just as the sun has begun to edge down close to the horizon. It’s almost too much, and you almost yank your pants back on with a stammered, fake excuse, but Johnny soothes his hands up your thighs, gaze locked onto your pussy like it’s the only thing that exists and yeah… you want that.

You have permission.

“There she is.” He cups you gently, grinding the heel of his hand against your clit just hard enough to make you gasp.

Before you can say or do anything his hand retracts and Johnny settles you with the most serious look you’ve ever seen from him. It looks wrong, almost, on that face that’s supposed to have a permanent ear to ear grin.

“If ye want tae stop, I need ye tae tell me now.”

“No.” The word leaves you before you can even register the thought - desperate and breathy.

It earns a low chuckle. The only warning you get before Johnny licks a long stripe up between your lips, letting his tongue rest on your clit for just a moment before repeating the motion as though he’s not just eating you out but truly trying to truly get a taste for you. To memorize you as he drinks you in.

“Should let me give you a Christina…” He murmurs, pulling back to look at you.

“Ah, wha-“

“Look so pretty on this fat little cunt.” Johnny gives you a light smack for good measure, grinning at the visible jolt that travels up your spine before diving back in. He hooks a leg over his shoulder, leaving you balancing on your tip toes with your hands flat on the table behind you. It’s precarious and with absolutely no room to escape the attention he’s lavishing on you. It’s almost desperate, the way he moves. The way he devours. A man utterly starved.

“Fuck-“ you gasp as his tongue piercing catches your clit. Rough hands knead at the softness of your thighs and hips, urging you to press into him, to take as much as he’s giving.

“Tha’s it, ride m���face…” Your fingers lock into his mohawk and Johnny’s slurred words become the most pornographic moan you think you’ve ever heard. He practically goes limp - body relaxed and pliant while you grind down onto his tongue.

You tilt your head forward, risking looking down only to meet those big blue eyes staring up at you with all the intensity of the sun. A shaky moan passes your lips and his eyes flutter.

“J-Johnny-” The whine of his name only spurs him on - has him pressing his tongue so deep inside you and drinking you in full.

If he has any complaints about the way your heel digs between his shoulder blades as you unconsciously pull him closer, he doesn’t make it known. His nails rake over your ass, biting and stinging in contrast to everything else. It’s so much. Heat continues to pool at the base of your spine - babbling words, please and moans spill messily from your lips.

Your climax catches you off guard as Johnny sucks harshly at your clit; lighting your body aflame with only his mouth. Every muscle inside you tenses and the sounds you let out can only be described as strangled whines.

You have to yank a little at Johnny’s hair to get him to stop when the overstimulation reaches just the wrong side of too much; he’s well and truly lost in the moment. It fuels your ego to dangerous heights - the idea that this gorgeous man became that intoxicated just from your pussy.

There isn’t even time to say anything before Johnny is standing and connecting his lips with yours. You taste yourself on his tongue, his lips - somehow this is the first time you’ve found that pleasant. With heavy breaths you watch him wipe around his mouth his his palm, only to exaggeratedly lick and clean what’s left off his hand. Fucking sinful.

“Nasty man.” You sigh, too blissed out to be truly critical. Johnny winks and you roll your eyes.

“S’about quittin’ time.” He says, tilting his head to look up at you through thick lashes. “Should get ye home.”

You frown, still trying to come back to earth as you glance down. “Don’t- do you want-?”

He looks you over, your mouth goes dry as his hand drops from your hip to adjust himself. The implications of the outline through his thick denim has your head reeling and your breath quickening. Johnny chuckles at you, surely seeing it written plain across your face. You might as well start drooling and panting like a dog.

He buries his nose into the crook of your neck to nip at your skin. “Another time. Want tae savor ye.”

You shiver, unable to stop the smile that quirks up the corners of your lips. You have permission. You don’t need it, but you have it.

A/N: Sorry if this is a little rough, I'm getting back into the swing of things. It's finally time for things to get fun, tho ;)

Also please give some love to this AMAZING fanart from @eurydicescurse

[0scxmlqrd]

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 lovestruck

; in which [name] [surname], a woman with existential crisis, finds the meaning and purpose of her life—for her, player 120.

pairing: player 120 | cho hyun ju x f! reader

warning: slight angst, out of character (?), etc.

author's note: so thirsty for a player 120 | cho hyun ju x reader fanfiction I overcame my writer's block that's been goin' on for years now, lol.

YOU have no purpose in life—you believed. Well, at least that's what you'd made yourself think ever since you could remember.

You frequently would ask yourself why were you even here and what's the use of existing in this world full of nothing else but suffering.

You've tried to search it on the internet once, asked people in different online forums. Other than a hotline or basically the searching app telling you to call a therapist, you received some decent answers, but still, you couldn't get yourself to believe any of the answer they provided.

All you know is that one thing they have in common is that they are—

Subjective.

It depends.

In all honesty, you don't even know why you keep on living. Yet you've never tried ending it. You hate the feeling of pain, you hope that if you're ever going to die, it must be a quick and painless one.

The time you've spent questioning your existence turns much more worse than you had expected as in the process of finding your purpose, you lost your sense of self.

You don't know who you are anymore.

No wonder you ended up as a failure. Too lazy to finish college, jobless sprinkled with no motivation in life, no money but debt that kept piling up as each days pass by—the debt collectors are likely going to collect and sell your organs to the black market as soon as they find you.

But that's not what you fear.

Luckily, you don't have anyone that would be disappointed in you since you're all alone. An orphan, you are.

That's probably why you ended up being slapped by a random stranger on the train station over losing to a game only children would play. And what do you get in exchange? Money, of course. You have dignity of course, but when it comes to money, well... gone.

There's nothing much more important in this world than money. People who loved to claim "love" is only spouting nonsense.

Love wouldn't fill your empty stomach.

You were getting pissed playing the game you kept on losing. Your cheeks were already numb from how cruel each slap the man had been sending you.

Was it worth it? Should you quit?

Maybe just one last game and you'll get that money. Then you'd get yourself something good tonight in compensation to the sore and swollen face you'd have to endure tomorrow.

"Congratulations, you won!"

The man's clap echoed in the station. You nodded, although happy that you won, you couldn't smile as a small cut that you wondered how could it be so painful.

He handed you the money—you didn't thank him, his slap absolutely hurts, no way you're thanking him.

The man then asked you whether you want to play a game. You almost cursed him out loud after he recited your personal information out loud correctly, creep.

But after that, he handed you a card.

And you took it.

You need money to survive for tomorrow.

That's how you ended up in here.

A large, open space with large walls acting as barriers from the outside world. In front of everyone was a gigantic doll, towering everyone even from afar.

You wondered what game it was.

A sound coming from a speaker in an unknown location echoed all over the place, explaining the mechanics of the games—how to win and how you will get eliminated.

You wondered how they were going to sort out everyone who loses when there's literally hundreds of people currently.

Your eyes wandered from around the place onto each of the players your eyes could find, trying to familiarize with everyone—who knows, they might turn out to be your enemy in the future games.

Boring.

You thought to yourself as you scanned their faces. That was until your eyes came to an abrupt stop from a certain player not close behind you. You've heard of people like her, but you've never seen one in person. They must've gone through a lot for having the courage to be what they are in this country.

She seemed to felt your gaze on her and you two made eye contact. She smiled slightly at you slightly nodding her head.

Awkward, you felt. Flustered at the attention you were receiving from him. Then, another thought came through you, 'She's quite the looker,' to which you immediately shrugged off, shifting your eyes away from her to your front once again.

'Focus,' you scolded yourself. Changing your complete attention on your current and only goal—to win this game and spend every single money to yourself until you get sick tired of it.

Your thoughts were then cut short when a crazy uncle suddenly started shouting. He was basically saying that this game kills the people who lose and how everyone must listen to the rules so they could live.

Green Light!

He shouted for everyone to go and you ran as fast as you can.

Red Light!

He shouted to stop and everyone, including you, stopped. This continued smoothly until you heard a woman's scream.

Then, a loud bang echoed.

Then, a thud.

And then everyone around that woman turned chaotic. Everyone was panicking, screaming and running around. But slowly, each scream—both men and women— slowly counted down while loud bang you believed to be coming from guns shot them down each.

Good thing you followed what the crazy uncle said although it was unbelievable at first.

You thought you'd be fine as long as you follow his order. Much to your dismay, there were some factors you forgot to think of.

Green Light.

Some of the people on your side were also panicking, they started running faster. Their adrenaline finally getting through them so much that some people behind you got ahead of you.

You bit your lower lip, getting ready to sprint, collecting every single ounce of your energy. But suddenly, a woman behind you crashed onto you, causing you to trip and fall down.

'B*tch, you better not make me see you or—'

People started trampling over you. Some tripping on the process. It's painful, incredibly. Your losing more time, you knew. You cursed yourself silently for losing on the first game. Hell, you knew your dead once the timer runs out.

Nothing else could be done but curl yourself, protecting your vulnerable sides. But still, it was still painful.

You thought the pain would never end, the gigantic robotic doll still hadn't said red light and you're losing hope on whether you'd survive these people, and even if you did, you're probably going to arrive late.

To your surprise, you stopped feeling pain—but no signs of people stopping on their run. You frowned, confused as to how this happened. Maybe one of them hit your head, making your sense of pain go off.

But no, you felt someone on your back, their body covering yours.

Who?

A shadow, larger than yours was right above yours. Curious to the identity of the person, you looked up.

Your eyes widen in surprise.

The person stood up, looking right ahead and back down onto you, "Are you alright?"

It was the same pretty woman you met eye contact before, "Can you walk? We need to hurry up before the timer runs out"

You ignored the soreness around your body, "I can walk just fine, but I'm probably slower than before. You can go ahead—"

"No, let's go together. Here," she offered her hand, "C'mon, we don't have much time left!"

Time seems to slow down, your eyes glued at the figure above you, "O-Okay!"

You grabbed her hand, stood up and ran as fast as you can.

Despite the chaotic surroundings, you paid no mind to them. Your eyes were completely glued to the short-haired woman in front of you. Huh? The pretty stranger claimed that the time was running out, it seems different for you right now.

But, the time was not flowing quickly? It's not just slowing down—it stopped.

What? Did you just say you found out your life's purpose, are you serious?!

© 0SCXMLQRD

[flemingology]

first time ─ jessie fleming x reader

in which: you and jessie take the next step in your relationship

warnings: smut (18+), g!p sex, oral (r receiving), penetrative sex (r receiving), dirty talk

wc: 4.6K, used a couple prompts from @delusionisaplace!

a/n: Let's say jessie is still at chelsea here, just to make sense of the tiny bit of plot there is at the beginning of this fic, lol. also, this is... pure filth. I don't know why this was the fic that got me out of my writer's block but yeah, have it. also if the whole g!p thing is NOT your thing, then don't read it! the warning is there for a reason. it's my first time writing this dynamic, so I'm sorry if it's kinda shitty. as usual, not proofread. sorry for any mistakes.

You kept rolling your hips down into Jessie's lap, another whine escaping your lips as you could feel her growing cock pressing into you with every brush against her hips. Your head was buried in your girlfriend's neck, lips parted and softly panting as you fisted your hands in her hair. "Fuck, Jess, if we don't stop now we are not making it in time to Leah's," you said, with the last remaining bit of dignity lingering inside of you.

Leah had invited some of her Arsenal teammates and their plus ones over for a big dinner at her place, to which you'd eagerly agreed when you first got the invitation. After a bit of convincing, you'd managed to get Jessie on board too – the self-consciousness about being the only Chelsea player in a predominantly Arsenal-covered living room quickly washed away with the prospect of a little mingling with old and new friends in sight.

Right now, though, a dinner with friends was the last thing on Jessie's mind. Admittedly, it wasn't really at the front of yours either. Your every thought now laced with pleasure, you tried your absolute hardest to keep a little bit of self-control before you lost yourself completely in Jessie's touch, in the feeling of her burgeoning hard-on pressing against your awaiting core.

"Yeah", Jessie breathed against you, forcing her eyes closed because your blissed out face was pushing her towards an edge she didn't want to be at yet, "yeah, you're right," she said, but made no move to stop or get up, if anything she pushed your hips harder against hers.

You lifted your head from her neck in a vain attempt to regain some control, but seeing Jessie's baby hairs sticking against her forehead that was covered in a sheen layer of sweat, a frown etched upon her face as she concentrated on being good for you with her eyes closed, there wasn't a single cell in your body that wanted anything else but this.

"Fuck it," you mumbled underneath your breath, "we'll make up an excuse later," it was the last bit of encouragement that Jessie needed, already lifting you up from the couch before you even got a chance at finishing your sentence. You squealed as she lifted you up and you put your legs around her waist, hanging onto her while she manoeuvred the two of you up the stairs and into her bedroom.

You and Jessie hadn't gone much further than a few heated make-out sessions on either of your couches yet. The relationship was fairly new and as much as you were completely infatuated by her, you'd promised each other to take it slow. But the past week, anytime Jessie did anything but breathe near you, you wanted nothing more than to jump her bones – you were ovulating, in your defense. So when you rang her doorbell that night, having gotten ready in your own apartment for Leah's dinner, and Jessie opened the door in a white button-up shirt that was tucked into a pair of black slacks that perfectly hugged her muscular thighs, you knew you wouldn't have the self control to restrain yourself tonight.

Jessie's button-up shirt and your dress long forgotten – not without the promise that you'd wear it again for her – your girlfriend placed you on the bed and crawled on top of you. "You drive me crazy, baby, honestly. I need you so bad," she said, pulling a moan from you. Jessie had always been – and still was – quite reserved. She had her moments with you where she would turn into herself, but those were rare. With other people, though, it was rare that they would see Jessie let loose. So when you discovered that Jessie was quite the dirty talker in bed, it's safe to say you more than were surprised. Pleasantly surprised, that's for sure.

Your Canadian peppered kisses all over your face, your cheek and jawline until she reached the base of your neck, where she let her wet tongue glide over the sensitive skin all the way back up until she reached your ear, where she softly nipped on your earlobe. All your senses were overwhelmed with Jessie – you saw, heard, felt and smelled nothing but her. And you loved it.

A couple moments later Jessie still found her face nuzzled into your neck, sucking, kissing and licking all over the skin there. And as much as you liked it and it felt good, you were starting to feel quite the throb between your legs – and you wanted, needed, her to do something about it.

"Jess", you said breathily, to which she lifted her head. "Please, I need you," you continued, to which a small smirk tugged at her lips. "What do you need, love?" she asked. You groaned and threw your head back. "Your mouth, your fingers, your dick. Anything, Jess." A shiver rolled down Jessie's spine as you finished talking, purely due to the excitement of what was about to come.

The Canadian wasn't particularly someone for one-night stands, she simply loved too hard to be able to fuck someone without catching any sorts of feelings for them. That, combined with her busy schedule, meant she hadn't dated in a good while. Meaning that, for the last couple of years, the only relief Jessie could give herself was the pumping of her own hand. Merely the thought of her length being enveloped in your warm tunnel had her almost bursting.

She slowly made her way down, pressing open-mouthed kisses all over your body. You could feel her sucking your skin and marking you up, but you didn't have an ounce of self-control left in your body anymore to tell her to stop. She reached your underwear and teased you by dipping one finger underneath the waistband, but not trailing further.

"Can I take this off?" she asked softly, earning a nod from you. "I'm gonna need words, beautiful," she said, when you didn't speak up further. "I know you can do that for me," she continued, which caused you to blush. "Yeah-, yeah, that's okay. Only if you undress too," you replied. Jessie glanced down at her own body and noticed that she was still half-dressed, her lower body still covered. She stood up quickly and kicked off her trousers and socks – her swollen cock a little less restrained which caused her to sigh a breath of relief – before settling her body between your legs again.

A smile tugged at the corners of her lips when she pulled your underwear down your legs, a string of your arousal connected to the garment. "You're soaked baby, god, you're so hot," Jessie mumbled.

Your girlfriend skipped the teasing and torturing and delved straight in, your scent way too intoxicating for the Canadian to wait any longer to taste you. Jessie licked a long, slow stripe from your entrance up to your clit, gathering your arousal in her mouth and spreading it all over your lips. You couldn't hold back the moan that escaped your lips upon the feeling of Jessie's warm tongue against your heat.

"Fuck, Jess, that's so good," you said breathlessly. You had been uncertain and insecure about this moment for a long time, but you couldn't have wished for a better time to take the next step in your relationship. You were pulled out of your thoughts when Jessie took your sensitive nub in her mouth and teasingly flicked her tongue across it, earning a grunt from you. You tangled your hands in her curls and gave a sharp tug when you felt her teeth graze your clit, the sting subsiding quickly when she started sucking on it again.

It wasn't long before you started to feel a tightening sensation starting to bubble up inside of you. Jessie's tongue was working wonders against your core and you were seriously questioning why it had taken the two of you so long to get to this point. The room was filled with the sounds of your moans and the squelching of your drenched core, riling you up further – if that was even possible. Jessie hadn't even used her fingers yet and she had you teetering on the edge.

"Jess," you breathed, trying to form a coherent sentence while the Canadian was sucking and licking on you at a relentless pace. "I'm close, baby, you're gonna make me cum," you continued. Jessie hummed into your pussy, not relenting by any means. In response, she squeezed your thighs that were resting on her shoulders. Your moans rose in pitch as she brought you closer and closer to your high, not letting her pace waver once you started squirming and bucking underneath her.

"Oh fuck, Jess, fuck, I'm cumming," you mustered, right before you felt the coil in your belly snap. You arched your back off the bed and threw your head back, your thighs locking around Jessie's head whose ministrations kept going. You let out a loud moan as you started to come down, your girlfriend guiding you through your orgasm and eventually releasing your lips with a pop as you started growing sensitive.

You dropped your legs from Jessie's shoulders and rested them on the mattress, trying to catch your breath from the mind-blowing orgasm you just had. "Fuck, that was good," you said, not needing to glance at Jessie to know there was a smug smirk plastered on her face. She rested her head on your thigh and pressed soft kisses, waiting for you to come down from your high.

A couple moments later you managed to catch your breath, and opened your eyes to look at her. "You're amazing", you said, a light smile tugging at your lips. You couldn't miss the small blush that crept upon your girlfriend's cheeks at your words. "Thank you, baby, I love making you feel good," she replied.

Another few moments of silence went by before you spoke up. "What about you?" you said, wanting nothing more than to return the favor but not really knowing how to approach the subject. After all, you were quite nervous, to put it lightly. You had never had sex with a dick before, and you definitely didn't know whether you were going to be any good at it – whether you would like it even. Jessie and you had talked about it countless of times, talked about what you thought you would like and not like, because the last thing she wanted was to make you uncomfortable or to hurt you in the moment.

"What about me?" Jessie quipped back, but you didn't miss the glint in her eyes. She climbed up your body and laid her head on your chest before you replied. "I want you to feel good too," you said softly, to which she let out a little chuckle. "Pleasuring you is more than enough, baby," she said, to which you rolled your eyes. "I'm not having that, Fleming. You know what I mean."

Jessie chuckled and looked up at you. "Are you sure? I know we said we'd take things slow on this regard," she asked. She was right. You had told her that you wanted to take things slow. You were more than comfortable with the Canadian but you didn't want to rush into things. You nodded, taking a deep breath before continuing the conversation. "Yeah, you're right. I did say that. But this feels good. It feels right," you said, tucking a strand of hair behind Jessie's ear. "So if it feels right for you too, I'm more than willing to try some things."

"It feels more than right, you know that, but I just want to make sure that you feel okay with all of this. I'd never want to rush you into doing things you'd rather not," Jessie said softly, tracing patterns on your bare chest. You pressed a kiss against her crown and took her chin between your thumb and index finger, tilting her head up towards you. You gave her an appreciative look before you spoke. "You're perfect, Jess. I love how mindful you are being, but I promise that I'm okay with this. I'd tell you if I wasn't."

Jessie gave you a nod and a warm smile before rolling off your body and sitting up, seemingly a bit nervous about her next step. She looked around hesitantly around the room. "You okay, Jess?" you inquired, now sitting up against the headboard. "Y-yeah, I was just," she breathed, voice slightly wavering. You frowned, wondering what had gotten Jessie visibly upset. "We're on the same page, right?" she asked. You cocked an eyebrow at your girlfriend. "I think so, yeah? I don't know what you mean, but I don't see how we couldn't be."

Jessie seemed to relax a little at your words. "Is it okay if I grab a condom, then?" you chuckled at her question, shaking her head in disbelief before speaking up again. "Of course, Jess, why are you so nervous about that?"

"I don't know, we hadn't verbally agreed on what we wanted next and I didn't want to just grab a condom if I wasn't sure that this is what you wanted," she explained. A small smile tugged at your lips as you leant in and cupped her cheek, pressing a tender kiss against her lips before you replied. "You're adorable. Thank you for checking in. But yeah I can confirm that this," you gestured towards Jessie's hand that was resting on the nightstand and then down towards her still-hardened member, "is what I want."

Jessie's cheeks turned a deeper shade of red and she cast her gaze away from yours, slightly embarrassed at her own uncertainty. Nonetheless, she opened her nightstand and rummaged around until she found an unopened pack of condoms. "It's been ages since I've used these, but I'm pretty sure they're not expired yet," Jessie said with a toothy grin on her face. "Well, we should make sure to get some new ones then next time we're grocery shopping," you said, a teasing smile adorning your lips as you spoke to your girlfriend. "Big plans huh?" she inquired, before bringing the condom packet to her mouth and ripping it open.

You watched on in awe as Jessie slipped the top of the condom over her tip and rolled the rest down her length. It was safe to say that Jessie's member was above average length. It was quite wide and thick. On another day, if your heart wasn't pounding in your chest, you would've probably made a comment about it. You had never had sex with a dick before, so it was safe to say that you were quite nervous about taking her, if you were going to be able to at all.

Jessie made her way back over to you and spread your legs again, settling her body in between yours as she sat back on her heels. She caressed your thighs gently and relented from doing anything, letting you set the pace for now. She could tell you were nervous. She offered you a warm, small smile before speaking up. "I'll be gentle with you, I promise. I wouldn't want to hurt you, ever," you nodded and gave your girlfriend an appreciative nod. She knew you'd never had penetrative sex with a dick before. She also knew you were nervous, so it meant a lot to you that she was reassuring you like this.

"I know. I trust you," you said, before you scooted a little closer to her, trying to wordlessly let her know that you were ready. Jessie got the hint and pushed her body towards you, hovering over you on her knees as she adjusted so her dick was lining up with your entrance. You watched on between your bodies in awe as Jessie grabbed her length and softly pushed it up and down between your folds, repeatedly bumping against your clit. You couldn't suppress the soft whimpers that escaped your lips. A couple moments later, Jessie looked up to you and searched your eyes for any signs of uncertainty. She wanted to make sure that you were fully comfortable before she pushed further. You grabbed her hand that was situated on your hip, keeping herself up, and gave it a tight squeeze.

Jessie took it as encouragement and lined herself up with your entrance, ever so slowly inching forward. She kept her eyes trained on your face as she entered you, making sure she didn't miss any signs of discomfort as she stretched you out. You closed your eyes and bit your lip as you focused on the feeling of Jessie's hardened member entering you. Despite a first orgasm, you hadn't loosened much and you could feel the way she was stretching you out. A frown was etched on your face as you tried to compose your breathing. You tried your best to relax and to loosen up for her, but Jessie couldn't push further.

"Just let it happen, baby, don't think about it too much. I can feel you tightening around me," Jessie spoke up softly. You nodded wordlessly, taking a deep breath in and trying to relax further. Jessie was still on her knees between your legs, patiently stretching you out. She, too, was having a hard time at remaining composed. Not so much because of discomfort, but mainly because she lost herself in the feeling of being wrapped up in your heat. She wasn't in deep, by any means, but your warmth was enveloping her tip and she loved the feeling.

A couple minutes, a lot of trial and error and deep breaths later, Jessie's hips were finally flush against yours. It hadn't been easy, but the feeling of being filled by your girlfriend was nothing like you'd ever experienced. Jessie was hovering over you now, wanting to be close to you instead of on her knees between your legs. "Does this feel fine?" Jessie whispered in your ear, not wanting to disturb you too much while you were adjusting to her length inside of you. You nodded wordlessly, letting your nails rake over Jessie's back. "Yeah," you breathed out. "Yeah, this is okay."

A couple more moments passed before you spoke up again. "I think I'm ready for you to move," you said tentatively. Jessie lifted her head and looked at you, searching your eyes for any discomfort. "Okay," she breathed, pressing a tender kiss against your forehead. Jessie slowly pulled her hips back, pulling out of you just until she reached the tip. She moaned softly at the sensation, pushing back inside of you and filling you to the hilt. "Fuck," you whimpered, "do that again, please."

Jessie eyed you curiously and pulled back once more, making sure her tip stayed inside of you. "Like this?" she asked, earning a wordless nod from you. She grinned slightly, pushing back inside of you and letting your warm tunnel envelop her length. "You feel so tight around me, darling, you're so hot."

By now, you had comfortably adjusted to Jessie's length. Even though you could still feel her stretching you out with every thrust, most of the uncomfortable feeling was now replaced with pleasure. Jessie found a steady rhythm that felt good to both of you, pushing in and out of you while making sure you were comfortable.

The room was now filled with the sounds of your shared moans and the squelching of your core every time Jessie pushed inside of you. You were undeniably wetter than you'd ever been. Not only the feeling of being fucked by your girlfriend and being so close to each other, the thought of her filling you up again and again was doing things to you too.

Jessie's breathing became slightly ragged the longer you continued. You could feel her thrusts were becoming a little less regular and you wondered if those were the telltale signs of her growing closer to her orgasm. You wished you could say the same, though. Although it felt good, you didn't know whether this was doing it for you. You realized that you should tell Jessie, because she wouldn't forgive herself if she came and you didn't.

You pressed your hand against Jessie's chest which caused her to halt her movements, looking up at you worriedly. "I don't think it's going to work like this, Jess. This feels good, but I don't know if it's going to get me there," you said, an inevitable blush creeping up your cheeks. "I'm sorry."

Jessie shook her head and spoke adamantly. "Don't be sorry, please. We have all night, okay? No need to rush," she said, while leaning down and pressing a loving kiss against your lips before she sat back on her heels and slowly pulled herself out of you, watching on amazedly as your core tried to suck her back in. "Like what you see?" you teased, a smile tugging at your lips. "Yeah. I do, this is hot."

Jessie pulled out of you completely and took your hands in hers. "Is there anything you would like to try? Something you think might feel better?" Jessie inquired. You shrugged, dropping the eye contact and looking away from your girlfriend. You had an idea, but you were slightly embarrassed to voice it. She frowned, grabbing your chin between her thumb and index finger and tilting your head towards hers again. "It's just me, baby, please tell me what you've got on your mind."

Your already-red face turned a shade darker, another blush creeping on your cheeks as you locked eyes with her. "Do you maybe want to, uhm, try a different position?" you asked softly, uncertainty laced in your voice. Jessie chuckled lightly and smiled brightly at you. "Of course I want to try a different position, love," Jessie reassured you, giving your hands an appreciative squeeze as you looked up at her.

You didn't really know how to progress further. You could tell that Jessie expected further explanation from you, probably an insight to what position you wanted to try. You were still feeling quite apprehensive about the whole situation, but you mustered up the courage to go further. "Maybe... uhm, do you maybe want to try from the back?"

Jessie's face lit up at what you said, a smug smile tugging at the corners of her lips. "Yeah," she chuckled, "I'm more than down to try from the back," Jessie sat back a bit to give you more room to work with, you shuffling from underneath her. You rolled your body over and pushed yourself up, holding your body up on your hands and knees. Jessie moved too, positioning her body behind yours and making sure the both of you were comfortably in the middle of the mattress.

"God, I wish you could see how good you looked from this angle," Jessie whispered. Her eyes were trained on your entrance, that was clenching around nothing. Your folds were sopping wet, your arousal smeared out all over them adding to the sensations. You turned your head and looked at your girlfriend over your shoulder, chuckling as you noticed her staring at you in awe. "You're a dork, you know that?"

Jessie let out a breathy laugh and shuffled closer to you, her dick lining up with your entrance again. "I know I am, that's why you love me" she said, not wasting another second and pushing herself inside of you again. "Oh," you said, your breath hitching in your throat at the feeling of being filled again. "Oh, yeah, that's good."

"Fuck, that's so much better, Jess. Keep going, please," you whimpered, Jessie's dick hitting your sweet spot repeatedly from the renewed angle. The Canadian propped one of her legs up next to your body for extra leverage and held your waist and started pushing in and out of you at a relentless pace. Now that she knew for sure that this felt good for you, there was no longer that mental barrier.

Your moans and whimpers only spurred her on, pleasure taking over her thoughts as her dick was enveloped in your warmth. "God, you feel so good inside of me, Jess, fuck," you got out. "Nothing will ever come close to the feeling of you around my dick, baby."

You started moving your hips back against Jessie's in time with her thrusts as a long moan escaped the Canadian's throat. "Fuck, you're incredible," she said, as you were adding to her pleasure. "You look so good like this baby, taking me so well. You're doing so good.

Her praise did inexplicable things to you. To know that you were making her feel good was working wonders on your ego. You'd been worried that you weren't going to be good enough for her, especially in the beginning as you'd have to find your footing in sex with Jessie, but tonight had blown all your doubts away.

Just as before, you could tell that Jessie was growing close to a release. This time, though, you could feel the same for you. The familiar tightening sensation started boiling up again, your breaths becoming uneven and your thrusts back against Jessie losing their strength.

"Are you close, baby? You wanna cum for me?" Jessie asked, seemingly reading your mind. You groaned deeply and mustered up a response. "God, yes, please Jessie, let me cum," you begged her. "Begging already, huh? I wasn't even denying you of anything," Jessie said with a touch of degradation in her voice which turned you on further, if that was even possible.

You threw your head down against the mattress and groaned again, not having the strength to muster up a smart response. "Go ahead, baby, cum for me, cum all over my cock," the Canadian said, finishing you off with a few harsh thrusts before you bursted all over her length, spitting out moan after moan. It wasn't long before Jessie came too, rutting harshly into you as she spurted ropes of cum into her condom. She groaned as she pulled your body flush against hers, now both of you on your knees as she fucked you through both of your orgasms.

Jessie brought of you down against the mattress when you had both come down. She laid wordlessly on top of you as she tried to compose herself and regain her breath, her dick softening and falling out of your still-drenched core. She rolled over onto her back and opened her arms for you to fall into, your head resting on her chest. You listened to her heart that was rapidly pumping.

You were the first to speak up after a couple moments. "God, that was amazing. You were amazing. I love you so much," you accentuated her words with a couple tender kisses against Jessie's lips. She smiled into the kiss. "If anything, all credit goes to you. You told me you'd never had sex with a dick before, but honestly I couldn't tell. You're everything and more," Jessie said, pulling you closer to her.

After cleaning each other up, you spent the rest of the evening in comfy clothing in each other's arms, sprawled out over the bed watching some tv. "We're gonna have to find a good excuse for Leah, by the way. I checked my phone earlier and noticed a couple missed calls."

Jessie chuckled and continued rubbed soothing patterns up and down your back. "Next time we'll make sure not to miss a dinner you agreed to. I just really couldn't withstand you this time," the midfielder confessed. "Well, that makes both of us," you pressed another tender, lingering kiss against Jessie's lips. Before long, you both drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

[edenmemes]

house of the dragon s2 starters

❝ there is a chill in the air. summer is well and truly through. ❞ ❝ it’s alright. there’s no reason to be nervous. ❞ ❝ i’ve little patience for the self-important, and even less for flatterers. ❞ ❝ you think me some kind of monster. ❞ ❝ it is my fault, i think, that you have forgotten to fear me. ❞ ❝ do you think simply wearing the crown imbues you with wisdom? ❞ ❝ i have been, at times, unkind but never untrue. ❞ ❝ mark my words, this is a black omen. ❞ ❝ it is your way, is it not? when something does not please you, you run. ❞ ❝ if i may seem so bold…you have not seemed yourself of late. ❞ ❝ i have come to see if we may uncover some path towards peace. ❞ ❝ i do not know if i trust you. and i sense there is danger in you yet. ❞ ❝ i wonder, do you have a moment for a quiet word? ❞ ❝ now i have seen your heart only belongs to you. ❞ ❝ it was worth the risk, no matter the outcome. ❞ ❝ some of us must serve in smaller ways…even if they are not what we would choose for ourselves. ❞ ❝ fuck dignity. i want revenge. ❞ ❝ you are not the player, but a piece on the board. ❞ ❝ is there no honor left in this world? ❞ ❝ stop wasting your life waiting for something that’ll never come. ❞ ❝ perhaps those who strive for the crown are the least suited to wear it. ❞ ❝ i find myself wondering…do we pursue the same end? ❞ ❝ and how would you define ‘victory’? ❞ ❝ once you get to know me, you’ll find i’m not so bad. ❞ ❝ thought you’d be happy. or at least less morose. ❞ ❝ i can sit still no longer. i must act. ❞ ❝ you struggle to see there’s an anger that blinds you. ❞ ❝ you must accept the path to victory now is one of violence. ❞ ❝ you only blame me because your true enemies are out of reach. ❞ ❝ there are many pieces at play here…some of which you can’t yet see. ❞ ❝ you will have all the vengeance you seek, but you must keep a grip on your impulses. ❞ ❝ which would you prefer? to be loved or feared? ❞ ❝ i don’t know what to think of you. i don’t know what you are, or who it is you serve. ❞ ❝ well, the gods favor the bold. ❞ ❝ you’ve thrown it away. after all i’ve done for you. ❞ ❝ what if the hand that’s done it is not to be blamed? ❞ ❝ the desire to kill and burn takes hold and reason is forgotten. ❞ ❝ the gods punish us. they punish me. ❞ ❝ the path i walk has never been trod. ❞ ❝ well…no use wondering what might have been. ❞ ❝ tales take on a life of their own…like weeds. ❞ ❝ this is not the time for blind accusations. ❞ ❝ hm, you wish to be rewarded. ❞ ❝ they will underestimate you. and this will be your advantage. ❞ ❝ i hope you do not confuse mercy with pliancy. ❞ ❝ there is no war so hateful to the gods as a war between kin. ❞ ❝ i’ve never trusted you, wholly…much though i wished to, willed myself to. ❞ ❝ you can’t possibly still be angry about this. ❞ ❝ boldness is one thing, but overconfidence… ❞ ❝ this world is cold and cruel, and there are few in it who are steadfast. you, i think, are steadfast. ❞ ❝ do not coddle me. grant me at least that dignity. ❞ ❝ history will paint you a villain. ❞ ❝ do you cling, even now, to what you think you lost? ❞ ❝ a sense of humor would do you good. ❞ ❝ if the gods call me to greater things, who am i to refuse them? ❞ ❝ you have done something i feared impossible. ❞ ❝ i’m not entirely sure we can declare this a victory. ❞ ❝ you should’ve been at my side. ❞ ❝ i see all your great adventures have done nothing for your looks. ❞ ❝ a jest. one you may regret as you’re supping alone tonight. ❞ ❝ soon they will not even remember what it was that began the war in the first place. ❞ ❝ i don’t need their love. i need their swords. ❞ ❝ perhaps all men are corrupt…and true honor is a mist that melts in the morning. ❞ ❝ let us put all the old unpleasantness behind us. ❞ ❝ are you perhaps the culprit who has been tampering with my peace? ❞ ❝ every man has a weakness. ❞ ❝ everything i’ve given you, you’ve thrown back in my face. ❞ ❝ oh, take heart. you’ve already written yourself into legend. ❞ ❝ you wish to wash your hands of what you yourself set in motion. ❞

❝ war is coming to the whole of the realm. ❞ ❝ you are a strange kind of woman. ❞ ❝ there are those that have mistaken my caution for weakness. let that be their undoing. ❞ ❝ i think you used my words as an excuse to take your own revenge…to indulge the darkness you keep sheathed within you like a blade. ❞ ❝ i came here to raise swords, not corpses. ❞ ❝ i cannot blame anyone for doing what i myself would do if i could. ❞ ❝ we cannot all hide in our castles waiting for war to come to us. ❞ ❝ call it what you will…i call it war. ❞ ❝ have the indignities of your childhood not yet sufficiently been avenged? ❞ ❝ you mustn’t be shaken from this. ❞ ❝ is this an order or a request? ❞ ❝ and they will pay for this. ❞ ❝ i will not be thought weak. ❞ ❝ i mistrust this silence. ❞ ❝ oh, you make an art of provoking me. ❞

[sasahuaa]

Can you add scaramouche to your omega character series? He'd be a disastrous omega that needs lots of healing but I'm sure his partner can provide

You're doing great! I love reading your fics and characterization

Scaramouche as an omega

I was really considering Scaramouche before to start with genshin! I was a bit scared to start with Scara because I could see that I would start yapping, and almost did, I had to cut so many things bc my initial idea was to write him in all stages of his life, also not sure if you meant the canon timeline or fatui!scaramouche, but I can do that in the future, for now this fic has some brief mentions of Kabukimono and the fatui. And thank you for the kind words, it means a lot!

gn!reader; cw: contains deep dives into his mindset so he has pessimistic thoughts in some parts (like him thinking that reader is a sort of player, bur nothing too heavy)

This poor omega is indeed disastrous, since the moment his creator abandoned him, Kabukimono was left with a lot of questions regarding his worth. He does not understand, truly, by venturing around he discovered that omegas were not treated with much respect, was that the reason why his mother abandoned him? Does she think an alpha would be more appropriate to be an archon? But he was a puppet, designed by her will, it didn't make sense why she would make him an omega to begin with if that was her reasoning, so what was wrong with him?

The little fledgling was happy during his stay in Tatarasuna, Niwa was a father figure that teached him many skills, and the village helped each other, he was pampered by everyone. What a pity that disaster caused by a doctor's interest befell such a kind community.

Scaramouche felt his dignity crumble more each year, month, day, second that passed. At every step that he was corrupted by the fatui's ideals and methods - his body torn apart from Dottore's experiments - the thoughts of self-doubt grew in his mind. He wasn't enough to be a god, discarded before he had the chance to try, his hands didn't purify the water nor cut through mountains, no one would sing his name in worship, but he also wasn't enough to be human, his skin is artificial, unflawed like porcelain, not even a mechanical heart occupy the emptiness of his hollow chest. Forever lost in between the limbo of where his existence belongs.

For a being so emotional, Scaramouche wonders when was the last time he felt anything besides rage, it doesn't matter too much for him, as he learned how to use his anger as a tool. His underlings - though only in the fatui, as the people of Sumeru never faced the omega's wrath (or better worded, don't remember) - whispered out of his earreach, murmurs wondering if the beautiful omega was capable of love.

And now, carrying the title of Wanderer and face to face with the reason that made the vacant part of him tremble, he finally found the answer.

Courting

Nahida's orders indirectly led him to you, to be a student of the Akademiya would eventually force him to interact with other scholars, you being from Vahumana or not didn't matter, as students from different darshans would often benefited from cooperating. And like many people he met nowadays, he was indifferent at first, which considering his past as The Balladeer, when everyone was an annoying fly in his way, is a considerable improvement.

But for many aspects of life, even as he accepted that this would be something that he never would reach, he was interested in humanity. What makes people human, their flaws, traits, mannerisms and personality, what makes them yield or fill them with confidence. His almost deification didn’t bring him the same satisfaction as he felt with Niwa and the rest of the Tatarasuna people, but watching the Sumeru's citizens may be close enough.

If it's something he can't be, then he will appease himself by observing.

As he looks at alphas, he thinks that this is another thing that he is flawed at. In his studies, Scaramouche determined that omegas supposedly went crazy over alphas, but he never felt it before, or maybe he never gave himself a chance to try. A long time before he learned the consequences of creating genuine connections, that humans tend to betray the same way gods do.

But… he learned that they never did abandon him, that maybe he can trust again.

And while you both worked on your project, these types of thoughts ushered to the top of his mind like never before. You were nice to him,and laughed it off when he was being purposely cunning. You were also attentive, meticulous in your work and doting on him, always bringing him tea or other types of bitter delicacies, and just shrugged when he said there was no need to feed him.

He liked to see your reactions, there were moments when your behaviour took a tired and upset turn, when you mumbled curses about the things that went wrong with your work. It was somewhat relieving and entertaining to witness, that the gentle façade crumbles when faced with challenges.

“It's always better to work with a full stomach” you said, not sparing a thought that he didn't need to eat.

“This is pointless” the omega grumbled, he took a step away from the food.

“So just eat for the satisfaction of it, the success rate of content workers is higher than stressed ones” you insisted, and Scaramouche hated that.

Why do you treat it like there was no trouble in taking care of him? Getting out of your way to please others is dumb, especially for the likes of him.

The omega knows that he is a pessimist, that people always have motives behind their actions, and even Nahida didn't escape his judgement as he does not believe she is merely being kind and benevolent. You are no different, and when he is alone with his thoughts after bidding you goodbye and retiring for the day, he must find your intentions.

As he looks himself in the mirror, Scaramouche looks carefully at his appearance, “alphas and betas are always kinder to pretty omegas, we all know that they only want one thing” it's what the older men from the bazar say. He raises his hands to cup his face, fingers touching smooth skin with no marks, doe indigo eyes look back at him with something akin to divinity, and as he glances lower, he does not think his body lacks in beauty.

That must be it, they clearly are being good to me only to get in my pants!

Scaramouche is not a saint, he knew that, but since he started to work on his path to atonement, he was completely honest about himself. The omega knows that not everyone is like that, people that mask themselves behind lies and generous mannerisms are the worst kind of evil, and to think that you would be capable of that-

Hurts.

There is an annoying pain in his chest and a prickle behind his eyes. He needed proof, he will uncover the worst in you, that's a promise he made to himself.

Scaramouche was snarky and insufferable the following days, refusing to cooperate at all. And though he won't admit it, it was hard for him to do that, your scent wavered with a hint of sadness everytime he was rough, and he felt a need within him clawing to be free, he had to fight himself against releasing a comforting scent to appease you.

But his instinct quieted down whenever he saw you acting honorably to other omegas, when you held the door open for a nobody, or when you generously lent a hand to someone feeling troubled. The rage he felt was immeasurable, he growled lowly and was almost convinced to attack whoever was taking your attention from him.

So he wasn't special at all, he wasn’t needed, he wasn't wanted, it's always like that.

It all came to a boiling point when he snapped at you, harsh words thrown at your directions about what he thought you were doing, messing with omegas hearts just to set them aside when you were done getting what you wanted, truly shameful. Nonetheless, he felt regretful when he saw your pained expression.

“What made you think that?” your voice was quiet, and Scaramouche would prefer if you looked pissed by his accusations, anything to reassure him that he was right “You could have told me you were uncomfortable, I would've stopped”

Uncomfortable? He isn't uncomfortable by your actions towards him, he is… pleased that you did not shy away from a broken thing like him. What he did not like was when you did things for others that he believes should be only for him, and the perceptions he created himself even when you never gave him a reason to.

During all this time Scaramouche was overwhelmed by feelings, and though he is used to feel too much, what he felt about you was completely foreign to him, not the familial care he felt for Niwa and the kid from ages ago, not the gratefulness he felt for Nahida and the traveler for giving him a chance to atone for his mistakes, and not the kinship when he met Durin.

“So are you saying that you were running away from it?” Nahida questioned, placing a flower crown above the omega's head, aranara's joyfully circling around both of them “It's fine to be scared, and if you talk to them about it I am sure they will understand”

“How are you sure that people won't disappoint you? Don't you believe it's easier if you cut the problem by the roof so you never have to discover it?”

“I decide to give an opportunity for everyone to prove themselves, and maybe you would be happily surprised by the results” the goddess cupped his face, pinching the fat of his cheeks and giggling when Scaramouche bat her hands away “You look different since you met them, even your scent doesn't hold that sour end from before”

And he followed Nahida's advice, not because she told him what to do, but staying away from you was killing him inside. This is not normal, is it? To think the world is falling apart just because your desired person is not close by.

Moreover, he guesses that since becoming a citizen of Sumeru he started to work on redeeming himself, what is one more person to apologize for when you acted out of line?

Scaramouche prepared a basket of fruits and Padisarah flowers and headed to your work station, exchanging these types of words is still unfamiliar to him, but he made it very clear that he wanted to improve your relationship.

It's possible that the state of your relationship was just confirmed when someone he was jealous of before questioned him.

“Of course we are courting, don't ask stupid questions”

Honestly, it's possible Scaramouche just came to terms with his feelings after he said that. The omega was still astonished that he is loved back, he doesn't know if he deserves this.

And yet, he can't deny himself the pleasure of being in your arms, taking deep breaths of your scent and resting his eyes with your rumbling under his head. If he is being selfish and taking a good alpha form a good omega, so be it! No one deserves you anyway, if another omega even thinks of taking you from him they will be met with sharp teeth and claws.

You both become inseparable, while it's mostly because he enjoys spending time with you as much as you - and he sees you as one of the few people that it's not a waste of time to be together -, it's also a result of a deeply buried insecurity of being betrayed, he knows that some were misunderstandings, but it's hard to change a mindset after hundreds of years believing in it.

He prefers the reassurance coming from actions instead of words, so when his alpha permit him to scent all of their clothes and also their body, or hold him tight and shows that he belongs by their side when he is feeling bothered by the presence of another, it's moments like this that he feels the most complete.

Scaramouche is truthful in a relationship and he expects you to do the same, if he feels that he needs something and you can provide he will ask, he may not be the romantic type, but everyday he makes it very clear how much he adores you.

He doesn't have a favorite gift to receive - unless you make a table full of sweets, he will complain non-stop if you do that. Spending time together is enough for him, but he appreciates anything you give him, gift him a small plushie and say you thought of him when you saw it, perhaps he will tease you and joke a little, but he will keep it safe. If you give Scaramouche jewelry or any small token, he will bring it with him anywhere he goes. His gifts to you include artifacts he finds when Nahida sends him on expeditions, also Scaramouche doesn't have hobbies for himself, so instead he will engage on yours.

Growling

During the fatui era, growls were very frequent sounds he made, it was almost impossible that someone that worked with him and never heard him growl. And he felt so powerful doing so, a long time ago, while he still lived in Inazuma, omega's were heavily punished if they growled at someone, and though this conservative behavior diminished a lot compared to the past, it was far from being extinguished.

So with his title as a harbinger, Scaramouche growled until they all cowered by his feet, just like a god should be revered.

But since living in Sumeru, he doesn't growl as much anymore, this is because he is not as stressed as before, he lifted the weight off his shoulders that was having to act like something he would never become, he was not trying to sacrifice his body for his objectives anymore. There's the occasional growl when other people irritate him, as a warning to watch their words and actions.

In a relationship with you, Scaramouche also growls when he is feeling jealous or insecure, but overall, he does not growl at you unless he is in a deep mindset that something feels wrong, he will require reassurance in times like this.

Purring

Scaramouche doesn't remember the last time he purred, and now he is almost sure his purr box is broken. The omega has two reasons to think that, one is that it has been centuries, he does not know how to purr due to the disuse of that part of his vocal cords, another is because of the experiments Dottore made on him, turning his body almost inside out.

Nowadays he does not care whether he purrs or not, it's a thing he lived almost his entire life without, and he does not miss it.

If he somehow discovers that he can purr again, it would be an almost inaudible sound. If you want to hear it, you would need to rest your head over his chest, it's more vibrational than vocal. Scaramouche will not purr in public, for him, it's a thing that just both of you should be aware of.

Nesting

Scaramouche does not have a proper nest, actually, what he calls his nest is merely two pillows and one blanket that he carries around his home. at max he will try to put the blanket in a circular shape.

He took a while before introducing you to his nest. He was a bit insecure at first, other omega's have big and filled nests, with an enormous assortment of colors and textures, while his… during the fatui, he would say it was just another thing that proved something was wrong with him.

And he enjoys it so much when you are with him in his nest, you could be just relaxing around the house, and he would bring his blanket and wrap it around you wordlessly. It made him feel warm with adoration whenever he saw you inside something purely his.

He won't get out of his way to buy or make things for his nest, but he will increment it if it is a gift from his alpha. He thinks it is kind of lovable that his alpha would try to get things to make him more comfortable, and Scaramouche deeply appreciates that.

Marking

He marks you all the time, even before you started to officially court. His scent is now almost ingrained into your skin, and if he already had permission to give you a biting mark, he would.

It's not just a sign for other omegas that you are already committed to him, it's also a reminder for you, that you have an omega to come back to, and that he would do anything to keep you with him.

But even after he becomes confident that you won't leave him behind - no omega or yourself is going to separate you from him - he still covers you in his smell, Scaramouche became very fond of the whole process of scent marking and to claim you for himself.

It's therapeutic to him, he will nuzzle quietly your cheeks and bring the scent glands of his wrists to your neck, not a single gland of your go untouched. For him, it's a mandatory procedure that you must go through before leaving home, especially if your agendas oblige you to not be together for the rest of the day.

Subspace

He never entered subspace before you, and it also took a while for you to achieve that. He denied himself the mindset many times before, he felt kinda scared by it, to be so vulnerable. Anytime he felt that his mind was starting to feel like it was becoming cotton filled, Scaramouche immediately backed away from you and tried to distract himself.

When he does enter subspace, he is whiny and clingy, following you around your home and hugging you when you are busy, from behind if you are cooking, sitting on your lap and throwing his arms around your neck while you work.

Scaramouche feels like he took a shot of serotonin when he smells your skin, he is addicted, touching every exposed part of your body to his contentment. He also likes to bite, so you probably will be covered by marks of nibbles by the end of it.

And when he sobers up again he gets flustered easily, he can't believe he let instincts control over his body. He will hiss if you mention anything that he did during subspace. Nonetheless, he will eventually get into it again and the cycle will repeat itself.

☽ ☼ ☾

Scaramouche supposes things should turn out like they were before, that everything would come back to normal, he followed Nahida's advice, the instinct in his gut that begs to be with you, and yet, it seems worse than before. The omega may have had a strong reaction before and jumped into conclusions far from the truth, but he has also gotten used to silently pine for you, not expecting anything from it - maybe he can be and was aggressive towards other people that had your attention, but he won't mention it! -, for he can count the number of times in his long life that situations turned into his favor.

But Scaramouche reminded himself that he has to learn that your entire existence is too good to be true. You give him hope in many ways that he never imagined before. Your arms are stretched before him, holding a light blue and soft blanket.

“And for what reason would you give me that?” he stepped forward, picking the material from your hands.

“Can't you guess?” you chuckled and shook your head, the movement dispersed your scent that was reeking of amusement “If anything, see it as a gift to compensate the time we spend apart, to show how much I cherish you”

His eyes widen at the proclamation, under his nose he can smell that the blanket is scented. An item for a nest and carrying your smell, isn't that a sign of a courting gift? He couldn't help but hug the blanket tighter at the thought.

“Thank you for trying to look out for me”

For a long time he desired for a normal life, all his objectives from the past had the intention to lead to it, sadly all was for nothing, and he hopes he didn't look pitiful for that. And yet, in front of him, he saw an opportunity for that, he just needed to reach for you.

Once again, he gives himself the chance to dream of a better future.

[five-thousand-loaves-of-bread]

EMG normal, not done w tests but expect those be normal n even if not, it not explain things

which. normal EMG good thing, yea. have some scary ones on own ddx that this rule out.

people be relief n happy for me n expect me feel same but. don’t have time feel that because all that feel is dread.

dread because this my frail weak last mental defense against trauma & gaslighting & internalized gaslighting “there nothing wrong” “you want something wrong” “you just crazy (derogatory).” last thing keeping me going n trying.

dread that this will (& already has) be use against me. parents already imagine future where “am” in it but am not actually in—a year three years five years later, able bodied walking talking n living independent n “finally happy.” parents encouraged to force me walk use wheelchair less speak more. as someone already with no escape from them because still severely disabled with symptoms & high support needs even if no diagnosis (some diagnosis), who already feel trapped & suffocated & hopeless with no future or escape here before this. worry life going get so much worse.

they don’t understand autism here. don’t understand stereotypical autism don’t understand not-stereotypical autism it all same coin. here see self as ultra in “not-stereotypical autism” category because autism regression include nonverbal late in life. be diagnosed by top autism place in US not matter. it didn’t it doesn’t & it won’t. for people not born nonverbal they see two option: physical muscle or vocal cord issue or psychosomatic mental illness but derogatory. its “real” in sense they supposed say that but its not real. fact that am actually mentally ill just support that more.

wheelchair bad. nonverbal bad. AAC tablet bad. no one can imagine happy life with them except me.

n no one can understand or even try to understand that those actually not what make my life utterly miserable: not have support needs met, not have communication support needs met (give me enviroment that actually feel safe use AAC then maybe will actually communicate more goddamn it), be trapped physically, be trapped mentally by past abuse with people who did that to me who currently doing that to me, have NO COMMUNITY n that there never ever ever will be any community here in person for me so long as stay here. with no end in sight. unless make one for myself. which—too fucking disabled to do that except [redacted]. which. even that, am too severely disabled thus surveillanced to do that.

not to mention those actually one of very few thing in my life give me joy right now (other joy is fiber arts. ok end of list. everything else even stuff used to enjoy is fucking chore. n even fiber arts becoming more of past time & routine than active joy)—it the only fucking thing that giving me any sort of hint of community right now (n also literally allow me do basic function in life like go places but. DIGRESS). even if it fucking small & pathetic & ironically isolating (bc my god the ableism against us. but without community will just be pathetic & isolated ALL ALONE). to advocate take it away, it incredibly cruel.

everyone expect me be able bodied neurotypical walking talking live independent n it that my personal failure not able do that because there “no medical reason” (…still have life long diagnoses but those not good enough real enough for them), faker. n just lost last mental defense against that. so yeah guess am.

dread too for what doctor going say n recommend after all this. honestly more preferable discharge me & let me go back to old life tbh.

in perfect world there be symptom management with no diagnoses & no definitive test results, that focus on work with what got, when it unrealistic or not fucking worth it try turn life upside down make “back” into “normal.” but. mm such thing not exist.

want be treat with dignity & respect & believed & agency even when don’t know what wrong & negative tests.

[agendabymooner]

the royal wildcard ! esteban o. x ofc (british princess!actress!ofc)

summary: albertine ‘albie’ spencer was born months before her parents got divorced and years later, she plays a massive role as a royal rebel and a certain alpine-renault’s partner. somehow, the british media didn’t get a glance at another surprise that came directly from the source.

content warning: princess ofc without the princess manners, esteban ocon is a nerd and i love him ur honour, vine + hamilton reference (nothing cringe i promise), royal family issue, absence of father and mother figure, wedding/marriage announcement, pierre gasly appearance

note: changed my profile and posted this! i couldn’t go to sleep knowing i should just post this now. press the photos to view the whole posts. enjoy xx

masterlist

tagged estebanocon

liked by pierregasly, mickschumacher, lance_stroll

user1 you and your what 😀😀

user2 say sike rn albie.

user3 is that a croissant in estie’s hand

user4 why are you worried about the uneaten croissant? she literally just called him husband 😭

albertinespencer he accidentally dropped the croissant

user3 STAWPPPP HE ACTUALLY DROPPED THE CROISSANT? 😭

lance_stroll he actually made you a spider-man fan oh my god liked by albertinespencer

albertinespencer i was being watched as i changed my watch background

kitty.spencer that mask is not a good disguise if you were to ask me 😂 liked by albertinespencer

albertinespencer we hardly tried 😂

kitty.spencer i’ll teach you more about disguising when you and estie visit uk 😉

user5 i can no longer sleep knowing that estie is now prince esteban

user6 this is the wildest of all wildcards to have happened this season ngl

estebanocon i didn’t think you’d see me looking at that photo of you and spiderman 🥲 liked by albertinespencer

albertinespencer but i love you for it, my darling ❤️

pierregasly next time invite me on one of your trips smh 😠 liked by albertinespencer

albertinespencer i didn’t know one piece of french comes in a pack of two did i?

tagged albertinespencer

liked by joshoconnor, harrystyles, charles_leclerc

charles_leclerc siuuuuuuuu liked by estebanocon

user1 the subtle spiderman things 😭 he got her hooked on marvel fr

user2 diana’s ring being matched with esteban’s own has got to be the sweetest shit i can cry on 😩 how long have you two been planning this??

estebanocon i’ve had it in my mind for two years!

user2 STAWP you’re making me fall harder for you

kitty.spencer you two are so perfect together 😍😘 liked by estebanocon

estebanocon this is a lot coming from you kit! ❤️

landonorris can’t believe that MY PRINCESS is married to my friend

user3 now bow down to prince estie lololol you too georgerussell63 alex_albon

alex_albon i always pegged her as a jude bellingham fan tbh

georgerussell63 meh, she gave mason mount vibes :/

albertinespencer 🥲 i support west ham

alex_albon boooooooo 👎

user4 short wife 🤝 tall husband liked by estebanocon

albertinespencer stoooop because you’re goofy smile literally had me when i walked down the aisle liked by estebanocon

albertinespencer like i almost tripped love 😩 i almost lost half of our dignity in one go liked by estebanocon

albertinespencer it doesn’t matter as long as you know i’d fall for you in a literal sense, anything hardly matters liked by estebanocon

albertinespencer here’s to the time we have ahead of us mon cœur!!! i love you so much estie 🍾🥂💕 liked by estebanocon

estebanocon you’re one of a kind, ma reine 😍

bonus !!!

[hippolotamus]

"Are you going to be okay?" + Bucktommy

No. No, I am not 😭 Please remember this is an angst prompt and that I love you so, so much 💞

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

your smile and the sound of your voice | T | 1.2k

“Are you going to be okay, Buckaroo?” 

Hen taps the neck of her beer against his and nudges his shoulder. 

“Yeah, of course.” He checks his phone again and sees the text he’s been waiting for from Eddie.

Be there in 5

“Yeah,” he says again, brighter and easier. Like he’s suddenly got more room to breathe.

She fondly rolls her eyes, letting him know she’s not buying it but she’s here for him all the same. 

His gut twists with nerves, like he inhaled an entire roll of Mentos and chased it with a two liter of Coke. He’s fine, though. He’s more than likely tachycardic, and he’s sweating like a pig, but he’s good. Honestly. 

Why wouldn’t he be? His family is supporting him through one of the more dramatic moves he’s ever tried to pull off. And he didn’t have to say a word for them to buy into his unhinged plan. They just- did. Albeit with many unvoiced concerns communicated in shared glances and whatever telepathy thing Hen and Chim have going on. Still, they’re here and he’s so, so grateful. He’ll want them to celebrate or if… well, he just needs them either way.

He taps his foot nervously, gripping the karaoke mic tighter and watching the seconds tick by on his watch. And then he sees him. His world stops when Tommy notices him. Their gaze locks across the room like one of those cheesy rom coms that Tommy loves. The kind they’d watch on the couch, or in bed together on a lazy afternoon. Buck wishes it was actually one of those meet cute moments where the main characters have a love at first sight experience. 

Instead, Eddie and Chim are nudging Tommy towards the front of the bar, urging him not to turn and run. All so Buck can cut his heart open and bleed out on the stage for him – for them – and hope he has enough time before his veins run dry. 

Tommy reluctantly sits on the bar stool strategically placed front and center. He’s flanked by Eddie, Chim, Maddie, Hen, Karen and Josh like a group of off kilter secret service agents. And yet he’s still looking at Buck with this mix of adoration and exasperation. Like nothing changed and he’s just here to watch his boyfriend be an idiot.

Buck’s heart pounds behind his ribcage and it’s all he can do to stay standing. He takes a swig of his beer, not that it does much when his mouth feels drier than the Sahara. Hopefully Tommy will understand needing a little liquid courage if only because he knows how much Buck hates singing in public. 

“Ready?” The DJ asks him.

“Ready as I’ll ever be.”

Buck’s eyes flick to the screen, knowing his piece begins immediately. There’s no intro or lead up. Just Buck and whatever’s left of his dignity. 

“If you change your mind-” he winces as his voice cracks, “I’m the first in line. Honey, I’m still free, take a chance on me.”

Christ, it’s so off key but he’s on a roll now and gaining confidence with every note. 

“Gonna do my very best and it ain’t no lie, if you put me to the test, if you let me try!” Buck sweeps his free hand over his torso, peacocking in every sense of the word.

Tommy scrubs at his face, looking for all the world like he wishes the floor would open up and swallow him whole. Not that Buck blames him. 

“Please don’t make this harder.” Tommy sighs. Silently begs with a pleading look. 

Buck sings louder to drive the point home. “You want me to leave it there, afraid of a love affair. But I think you knoooow, that I can’t let go.” 

Even with Tommy’s palm covering his mouth, Buck can still see the smile glowing in those blue eyes he always wants to stay lost in. 

He steps off the stage, flirty and confident as his friends make room for him to circle the man he’s over the goddamn moon about. The man he’s so fucking in love with that he’s willing to humiliate himself in front of their colleagues. “You say that I waste my time, but I can’t get ya off my mind. No, I can’t let goooo. ‘Cause I love you so.” 

Buck shrugs playfully, drinking in the embarrassed smirk he’s so familiar with. Just one of the dozens of expressions he’s catalogued over their months together. And tortured himself with in the weeks since Tommy broke his heart. Both of their hearts, really. 

By now, the crowd is clapping and cheering him on as he sings his lungs out, strutting around like the lovesick fool that he is. 

“Honey, I’m still free. Take a chance on me!” 

The song fades out, coming to an end as he slides on his good knee. He stops in front of Tommy, panting and flushed, baring his soul for everyone at the badge and ladder to see. Except he only needs one person to see it. To see everything and not be terrified.

“I know I fucked up before and I- I rushed things. And I know this isn’t how any of this should have happened. But you wouldn’t answer me or- or return my calls or texts.” His jaw trembles, voice breaking as tears drip off his chin. “You can take your time, baby. I’m in no hurry.” 

Buck risks reaching for Tommy’s hand, threading their fingers together. “Tommy. Sweetheart. Take a chance on me. Again. Please.”

It feels like a truce, like a fresh beginning. Like the start of something.

“Evan.” 

Buck’s blood fizzes like champagne, bursting with hope. Tommy smiles, a lopsided thing, and oh Buck can hardly sit still long enough to hear what comes next. But he has to, he needs to be patient. Not impulsive, not like before. 

“Buck,” Tommy corrects. 

The world seems to collapse around him. His chosen name sounds like nails on a chalkboard. Like a sour note in an otherwise beautiful aria. 

A tear escapes, rolling down Tommy’s cheek, past his now wobbly lip. “I wish I could. This is- it’s sweet and no one’s ever done anything like this for me before.” Tommy looks up at the ceiling, just like he did that night in the loft, and then meets Buck’s gaze again. “You are gonna be someone’s once in a lifetime. I just know it. But not-” There’s a strangled sound between them, from god knows where. Maybe it’s Buck, maybe it’s Tommy. Maybe it’s both. 

“I’m sorry,” Tommy whispers. 

In a blink, Buck’s hand is empty and Tommy’s weaving through the crowd. Leaving him all over  again.

“No, wait! Hold on!” Buck drops the microphone, ready to chase after him this time. Like he didn’t before. Like he should have. He apologizes as he knocks into tables and past servers until he’s finally out in the cool night air. He licks the salty tears from his lips, frantically searching in every direction. It hasn’t been that long. Buck was seconds behind. Tommy has to be here. 

But he’s not. There’s no sign of him in the crowds of people walking by. People laughing and talking and living their lives with fully formed hearts. All of them ignorant to Buck and his despair. 

“Wait,” he rasps, falling to his knees in the middle of the filthy LA sidewalk. “Please wait.” 

[alexxncl]

‼️NIGHTBRINGER LESSON 38 SPOILERS‼️

masterlist | all lessons | season 2 | lesson 37 | lesson 39

normal and hard spoilers

enraged and pleading being the lesson opener...

is lucifer putting aside his pride for the sake of his brothers?

my heart can't take this

lucifer never begs. the fact that he's so lost in his rage, his confusion, his grief, this is why satan was born the way he is. lucifer losing control of himself to the point that he puts aside his dignity, his pride, using his power to this extent is something i thought i'd never get to see. and the fact that it's all for his brothers makes it that much more painful

he was fine being bound by chains when it was just him, when everyone else was safe, when he was punished for his actions and endangering and ruining the lives of the ones he loved. as long as his family is safe, he doesn't care what happens to himself. then he saw simeon, luke, mc, mammon, and couldn't reign in his emotions. he couldn't stand the thought of the people he cared about the most suffering because of what he'd done, because of his arrogance and insistence and prideful nature, so much so that his anger at himself, at his father, overrided any sense of pride he had left

he's scared, not for himself, but for his family. he uses his anger to mask his fear, but now the two are blended together so intricately that he can't differentiate the two and is losing himself, hurting the people he wants to protect

another instance of him putting aside his pride. lucifer had been just as insecure about his position at diavolo's side as mephisto had. diavolo saw him at his worst, at his weakest, and devoted himself to diavolo for the sake of his family. he put aside his pride, took on the mantle of what he perceived to be a trophy for the person that saved his life, his brothers' lives, and his sister's life

but the thoughts lingering in the back of his mind blinded him of the fact that diavolo didn't only take pity on him, but he understood and empathize with him, he cares about lucifer more than their fathers ever cared about either of them

diavolo AND lucifer at full power ??? i'd be surprised if the entire underworld didn't collapse in on itself. and if that happens, another war is gonna break out, but this time, it'll be between the celestial realm and the devildom bc they're destroying celestial realm property

if an all out war did happen, i wonder if simeon, raphael, and maybe even luke would all take the devildom's side. they've seen firsthand the evil the celestial realm is capable of, and they probably wouldnt want to be a part of it

GODDDDD IM GONNA CRY

if lucifer cries i might ACTUALLY lose my mind

the only reason he lost control of himself was because he thought he had nothing left to fight for, nothing left to lose, and he didn't care if he died in the process since he didn't have anything or anyone left to live for. but seeing his brothers brought him back to his senses. he lives for them, because of them, and would do anything to keep them from danger, even if the danger is him himself

WHATTHEFUCK THIS IS ONLY THE 2ND PART OF THE LESSON ??????? WHAT IS GOING ONNNNNNNNN

speechless. no words. i just thought i should add this

diavolo KNEELING ???? my god

satan 🥺

my guesses are as good as theirs, honestly. i don't think michael would do something this terrible to his most beloved brother, even after lucifer's betrayal of the realm and refusal. he sent luke and simeon down to check on lucifer for fuck's sake, and he went down himself disguised as raphael to make sure lucifer was ok. to see is he really was happy

maybe it was their father? but the whole forgiveness thing throws that out of the window for me. and it couldn't have been the demon king himself since he's in a deep sleep, and there's no way diavolo wouldn't at least feel if his father had woken up. maybe it was someone from the house of lords? mephisto's parents or grandparents?

it's tricky to pinpoint who the celestial realm would agree, though...

THE BROTHERS EVER i love them all sm

i feel like they woke up in age order, minus lucifer obviously. mammon woke up first and watched over all of them, making sure they were okay, and he probaboy came up with the idea to go to lucifer's room when everyone was awake and well. levi woke up second and was trying to distract himself with his games or his manga or something, but couldn't bring himself to leave until he knew all of them were safe

so on and so forth, but i can't figure out if i wanna believe satan or belphie woke up last. technically, satan's the youngest, but belphie's the weakest. satan was also the first to fall victim to cocytus and was stuck in its depths for the longest, but belphie arguably went through the most emotional distress because of what happened to beel. maybe they woke up at the same time?

incoherent screeching and sobbing noises

MY HEART

i feel like lucifer saying "no matter where you may be, no matter how far away" is only gonna make it harder for them to leave. and it's only gonna hurt the brothers more once they realize they'll (most likely) never see mc again. not in this lifetime, not in this timeline, not unless barbatos wills it

...WE FINALLY GET OUR ROOM BACK ‼️

so it wasn't god that was the celestial realm representative...who was it then?

[nightcolorz]

ok armand's backstory is super tragic in the books but the show makes it even more devastating with The Implications. imagine marius leaving armand (his slave who he abused ever since he was a child) for the Evil Satan Cult and instead turning bianca (white rich woman)and choosing her as his new companion. makes me sick insane etc

OH MY GOD YES IM ALWAYS THINKING ABOUT THIS!!! In the books Armand is also technically Marius’s slave, but the way it’s portrayed from Armand’s perspective encourages u to forget about that. But the way the show highlights how Armand was a slave and shows how it influences the way Marius treated him annnndddd made Armand a person of color adds such a disturbing layer to an already disturbing dynamic. (Which i love lol)

I loooveee that u brought up Bianca bcus the whole dynamic with Bianca is sooo fucked up and no one ever talks about it. In blood and gold Marius explains that he was lonely and wanted a vampire companion, who he originally wanted to be Bianca, but he felt super mf guilty about this bcus Bianca is a young well off bright white girl and by turning her into a vampire and taking her for himself he’d be depriving her of her chance at a prosperous life and humanity. And the way Marius gets over angsting about how badly he wants Bianca but how he can’t take her cuz it’d be fucked is by BUYING ARMAND!! Marius buys Armand bcus he considers him *less of a person* than Bianca and therefor someone he can use and abuse without any guilt. So now that Armand is a person of color, that dynamic It’s basically like, “I can’t harm this sweet white girl even tho i want to so bad, that would be horrible!!! Wait, Oh my god yay!!! A brown boy <3 I can do as many terrible things that I want to him because he isn’t human to me <3” like holy shit that is sickening. And it’s such a nail on the coffin how once Marius decides to discard Armand bcus he’s not worth saving to him he immediately turns Bianca and decides that she’s his companion now, like oh my god.

making Armand a person of color was honestly one of my favorite (if not my fav) change that amc made with the characters. In the books Armand is always portrayed as having this ambiguous social oppressor that causes him to be seen as less then human or less worthy of inherent respect + dignity as other ppl, especially in his human lifetime, and it is so prevailing throughout his life that Armand is used to being treated like he’s nothing, so Armand being a person of color just makes sense to me. Not only that, but his entire backstory where there is so much emotional weight put on how Armand was stripped of his cultural identity and his birth name and his connection to religion by being sold into slavery so he’s lost the ability to understand who he is ?!?!? Like it’s kind of insane to me sometimes that all of the aspects of Armand’s backstory in the show that are very much racial trauma happened the exact same way in the books 😭. It makes a little too much sense lol

thank u sm for the ask I love angsting about Armand’s backstory more then anything!!!! ❤️❤️

[phoenix--quill]

Prompt 26: Facesitting

Pairing: Helmut Zemo/female reader

Rating: E (minors DNI)

Warnings: thigh riding, oral sex (f receiving), masturbation (male)

Length: ~2.100 words

Summery: Zemo offering you the best seat in the house

Notes: I think we can all agree that immediate post-prison Zemo would be an absolute feral, touch-starved mess once you managed to break through his walls. Also, I think that I got the years right on how long he had been in prison but honestly the Marvel timeline is so hand wavy that idk.

Also (also) we, as a fandom, talked way too much about that coat (which is distractingly amazing) and not nearly enough about that belt buckle (which have me on my knees).

AO3

“Zemo,” you moaned against his mouth, your hands clutching at the soft collar of his ridiculous coat. He had you trapped between his own strong body and the kitchen counter in the safe house, one hand in your hair while the other was harshly grasping at your hip.

“My name, drága,” he rasped as he caught your lips in another hungry kiss, “say it!”

“Helmut,” you all but whimpered, his harsh tone mixed with the feeling of his soft lips on yours were starting to scramble your thoughts. You felt your reward in the form of his thigh slide in between your own legs, making you moan again.

He’d had his hands on you for barely five minutes and yet as you rubbed yourself against his thigh, you could feel how ruined your underwear were. It was unfair, really, how wet he could make you with just a smug look, standing there in his stupid coat and oversized belt buckle.

You had to break the kiss to catch your breath though you felt his lips go straight to your neck, seemingly unwilling to break contact with your skin for long.

“Take off that ridiculous coat,” you whispered, trying desperately to claw back a little bit of dignity as he started moving his leg in-between yours.

He gave a small laugh against the column of your neck, still intent on leaving a mix of open-mouthed kisses and small bites to the delicate skin there. “If it is so ridiculous, why have you not been able to keep your eyes off of it since we met, hmm?” He raised his head to look you in the eyes, his head tilting as he took in your flushed face and hard breathing. Not that he looked any more unaffected: his pale cheeks had gained a rosy flush, his lips were swollen and his already dark eyes looked almost black. He gave a small nod and kept his eyes on yours as he slid the coat of his shoulders, folded it once and placed it neatly on the table next to you. His hands stayed on the counter top on either side of your body, caging you in but letting you take the next step, his eyes never leaving your face.

You gave him a small, reassuring smile and reached up to let your fingertips slide over his jaw. His eyes had remained as hungry as ever but you sensed trepidation in them too, though you were unsure why he would suddenly be so nervous.

“Much better,” you practically purred as your hands now had free rein to explore the full expanse of his upper body. You ran them down his neck, feeling his quick pulse under your fingertips; out over his strong shoulders and down his pecs, feeling soft fabric of his no doubt expensive sweater.

By the time you had worked your way down to his stomach, he seemed to have lost patience and surged forwards to catch your mouth in another one of his hungry kisses, both of his hands coming up to cradle your head. You could feel the muscles in his stomach clenching and unclenching under your hands and for a moment nothing else existed but the feeling of his soft, cherry-blossom flavoured lips and the crisp smell of his aftershave.

Your reverie was broken, however, as he moved his leg, still trapped between yours, more insistently against your core, making you moan into the kiss. Having had enough of this foreplay and desperately needing to actually feel him, you moved your hands further down, fumbling a bit as you tried to blindly open his belt.

“Ah ah, drága.” Rarely had anyone moved as fast as he had caught both of your wrist in his hands, holding further up his chest as the two of you stared at each other, heavy breaths mixing in the quiet apartment.

“What’s wrong?” you asked and your brow furrowed when you noticed the almost embarrassed look in his eyes.

“I’ve been in a jail cell for seven years with a camera following my every move. If you continue, it is going to be a very short night for both of us, I’m afraid.” He didn’t sound angry, per se, but there was a certain coldness in his voice, though you suspected it was mostly to cover up his embarrassment.

“You know we don’t have to-”

He silenced you by pressing his thumb to your mouth, his hand cradling your jaw. “Unless you tell me to stop, I am not resting until I have had you screaming my name.” He emphasised his point by pressing his thigh more firmly against your core, making you moan as he caught your clit perfectly. “Come, my dear, I know just what to do with you.” His smug smile and the playful glint in his eyes were back as he led you away from the kitchen and over towards the large couch in the middle of the room.

His lips returned to the side of your neck while his long slender fingers massaged your hips as he held you firmly against him. You could feel his hard member strain against his pants though you knew better than to reach for it, however much you longed to do so.

“Will you let me taste you?” he asked as he trailed his lips up the side of your cheek before catching the lobe of your ear gently between his teeth.

You nodded weakly, your head swimming at the thought of him between your thighs, and you let out a small whimper.

“Need to hear your pretty voice, drága,” he rasped against your ear.

“Yes! Please, Helmut, anything; you can do anything,” you babbled and your head tipped back as his clever tongue found the soft spot below your ear.

“Having you come on my tongue shall suffice; for now, at least.” He sounded almost matter-of-factly although as he pinched your chin and brought your face back down to look him in the eyes, you saw humour dancing in there too. “Now, take off your clothes, all of it, and come sit on my face.”

Your hands were already grasping at your own clothes before his words became clear in your mind. “Wait, sit on…?”

“My face, yes.” He rather cavalierly laid himself down on the couch and patted his chest, indicating your seat.

“Someone could see,” you said hesitantly and shot a look at the front door, mere metres from the both of you. You weren’t expecting Sam and Bucky back for hours but with the amount of uninvited guests you had already had… well you never knew.

“Then they will see the most beautiful woman in the world, taking her due pleasure,” he shrugged his shoulders but still shot you a reassuring look when you continued to hesitate. “No one will come, drága.”

“You’re insane,” you laughed though you went back to shedding your clothes, leaving it in a pile on the floor. You shivered as the cold air hit your skin and felt your nipples pebble. You wanted to cover yourself up but when you saw the look in Zemo’s eyes, you instead walked over proudly and stood in front of him. He looked starved and in a sense you guessed he was – seven years was a hell of a long time without any physical contact, from himself or others.

“Magnificent,” he breathed as he guided your legs to sit on either side of his shoulders, your hips hovering over his chin. He kissed the up the insides of each of your thighs as his hands slowly guided your hips down to sit where he wanted you to.

At the first contact of his tongue with your lips, you almost sat up again, the intensity of the pleasure that shot through you almost making you want to retreat. His hands, however, had stayed on your hips, both to hold you down and to rub reassuring circles against your skin.

You almost felt more than heard him moan against you, the vibrations in turn making you moan. “So sweet, like the freshest summer fruit; and so wet you could drown in it.” He all but growled that last part and one his hands left your hip to come down between your legs, moving your lips to either side, exposing you fully to him. He licked a hard line from your entrance to you clit and your hand flew from the armrest of the couch to bury itself in his hair, feeling his silky strands slide between your fingers. He swirled his tongue around your clit, once, twice, and you couldn’t help bucking your hips against his face and your hand tightened in his hair. A steady stream of moans and mewls fell from your lips and was soon joined by his own deep moans, as he felt you starting to take your pleasure from him.

He gave your clit a flick before moving his tongue back to circle your entrance, earning himself a broken moan of his name from you. You curled in on yourself to look down at him, immediately finding his eyes already upon you, and he held your gaze as his tongue penetrated you, moving insistently against your tight walls. With a long moan, you had to break eye contact, already you could feel pleasure rolling through you, gathering in the pit of your stomach.

He found his pace, going between circling your entrance and broadening his tongue as he licked against your walls with the occasional bump of his nose up against your clit, which had you seeing stars every time. You hadn’t realized he had removed his hand between your legs until you felt it slide up your ribcage and close around one of your previously neglected breasts. He rolled your nipple between his fingers, pinching it, and you felt yourself clench around his thick tongue.

“S-so close,” you mewled, struggling to find your words. “Need you; Helmut, please, come with me. Want you, ah-,” you had to swallow hard as his hand found your other breast, tugging harshly at your nipple. “Want us to come together.” Though your eyes felt heavy, they still managed to find his and he gave a small nod. The last hand on your hips left and you heard the tell-tale sound of his heavy belt buckle opening.

You desperately wanted to see him, to feel him in your hand, inside of you, but judging by the deep moan he let out against your core as his hand presumable made contact with his own hard member, that would have to wait.

“Come for me, then,” his breathing was hard and his words sounded muffled, as he seemed unwilling to move too far away from you. “Let me hear you scream.” His tongue made one final swirl around your entrance before he closed his lips around your clit, sucking hard at the same time as his hand tweaked your nipple.

It had the desired effect, as you vision whitened and you bowed over almost completely, the sound that left your throat more of a shriek than his name as your climax ran through your body like wildfire. If you had been able to look behind you, you would have seen his own hips arch off the seat as he came in his hand, cum spilling out onto his dark pants. Instead all you felt was the vibrations from his groan against your still clenching cunt, threatening to send you head first into another orgasm.

You whimpered, feeling slightly overstimulated, and slid off of his face and down to lie on his still rapidly rising and falling chest.

“We need to get you a bath,” you breathlessly laughed as you took in his beautiful face, currently smeared with your slick.

“In a moment,” he agreed, his eyes still closed as he tried to get his breathing back to normal. “I also do not think that counted as you screaming my name; don’t worry, though, we will simply have to try again.”

You looked up to see a cheeky smile spreading on his face though his eyes remain closed, evidently still luxuriating in the feelings coursing through him. You groaned and let your head fall back down onto his chest, the muscles in your thighs still twitching from overexertion.

[bts-0t-7]

Moonlight Sanctuary | OT7

Pair: Werewolf OT7 x F Reader 

Summary: In a chase, you find a cottage in the midst of the woods. Barging in, you found seven men at your aid and you never expected things to turn out the way it did. But you were forever grateful for how it did.

Genre: Fluff, werewolf au, human reader

Chapter Warnings: Violence, abuse

You aren’t alone. If you ever need a helping hand, our fellow social services, friends, and family will always be there. If anybody is going to be insensitive on this topic on my blog, you will be blocked. Borahae💜 

WC: 2297

The moon hung low in the night sky as you ran in the opposite direction of your house. Well, your brother’s house. You had never considered it a home the moment things took a drastic turn after your parent’s death. A home is a place where one feels safe and secure but this is… this was no home. 

You had no sense of direction as you blasted through thick foliage and wet mud. The sky was dark and thunder boomed when you left but now it was pouring. Drenched from head to toe, you felt your anxiety rise as the sky darkened and your lungs collapsed. You paused at the foot of a tree, bending down to catch your breath. You had no idea where you were going. All you knew was that you needed to run. 

Run. Run. Run or they will catch you again. 

The air was still with your heavy breathing and loud splatters of rain when you heard rustling sounds. Suddenly blinded by the onslaught of light, you made out the rough shape of your bulky brother. Fearing for your life, you quickly stumbled up and ran again. You didn’t dare look back but you dared to look up. 

The moon was shining bright tonight, despite the darkness that was chasing you. It casted an ethereal glow over the dense forest and if you tilted your head just right, you could see little rainbows in the making. You ran through the trees, heart pounding against your chest. You didn’t know how far or how close you were to your brother and his gang. At the same time, you didn’t know where the fuck you were. You could just imagine being eaten up by some sort of nocturnal animal in here. 

“BITCH! Come back here! Who said you could run away, huh?”

You tried to pump your legs harder - to give you more strength. But you found yourself short of any sort of energy. You didn’t have dinner and it was during your break did you sneak past the back door and run away from them, hastily slipping on your clothes for some decency. You carried nothing with you - just you, underwear, and clothes - which is essentially whatever you were wearing. 

“Ey! I swear you’re going to get it from me when we catch you! FUCK, you’re done!”

The sound of your own harsh breathing drowned out the haunting echoes of your abusive brother’s threats. For years, you endured his cruelty,  but tonight - tonight you had enough. He sold your body. Sold your body to his friends. You had sobbed and begged with every last shred of dignity you had but they never listened. You didn’t know where you were going but you knew you couldn’t stay there any longer. 

You stumbled through the woods on clumsy feet, the darkness of the foliage seemed to close in around you. You tried to keep your anxiety at bay, knowing it would do you more harm than good if you started to panic. Branches clawed at the exposed skin of your feet, the ground beneath the flimsy slippers you hastily wore was uneven and treacherous the deeper you went. Fear gnawed at your insides and despair threatened to overtake you. Breathing harshly, you tried to keep yourself calm. 

Just as you thought that all hope was lost and you would have to be running forever or be caught, your attention focused on the soft glow of light emitting from a cottage house. Without thinking, you ran towards it and pulled against the handle, trying every one until you found an open door and slammed it shut behind you. 

Sliding onto the floor, you placed your head between your legs, breathing through your mouth. You were tired and bruised. You heard before you saw someone stand in front of you, shadow covering half of your hunched over body. Your breath caught as you slowly took in the sight before you. You were the centre of their attention, their eyes reflecting the silver light of the moon. You were sure you weren’t breathing. THese were the folklore of your little village - stories passed down by the elders from generation to generation. 

Werewolves. 

Nobody believed that there were such mystical beings living amongst you. But you were certain that they were exactly what you believed. These seven men that surrounded you brought around them an aura of power and grace. 

You could easily tell by the tall and commanding figure to your left that that was the leader of the pack. He stepped forward, gait slow and steady, approaching you as if you were a scared prey. But you were quite the opposite. As you looked at each of them, they surveyed you quietly. Looking at each of them in their eyes, you felt a connection deep in your blood - a spark of recognition of what belongs. 

“Are you in danger?” he asked, voice low and soothing. 

You nodded, voice trembling as you replied, “My - my brother, he and his friends, they - they -”

The door was suddenly banged open as you stumbled into the man’s hold. You felt a sense of protection and comfort you had never known when you were with them. They surrounded you again, this time, as a protection barrier between you and your brother. 

You curled deeper into yourself. 

Without hesitation, a man grabbed your cheeks and forced you to look at his smiling eyes. “Hey! My name is Jimin! What’s yours?”

“Y/N, come here now.” Your brother commanded. Shivering in your spot against Jimin’s body, you shook your head and rejected him. You didn’t want to. 

“Come here now or you will regret it.” You shook your head. You didn’t want to go back to the life you once had. If it was considered life. 

“Come here and I won’t kill these ‘men’. They are vicious monsters, you know that.”

Your head turned when you heard your name being called. “You are safe here. We won’t let anyone hurt you now.” You nodded and turned away from your brother, clinging onto Jimin’s shirt tightly. 

“It’s funny how you claim to care for your sister when you sold her off. It is funny how you think you would be able to hurt us.” The man with cat-like eyes formed into slits. He certainly looked more like a cat than a wolf.

“HAH!” Your brother laughed maniacally. “You are a bunch of monsters. Werewolves? Ridiculous! You are not wolves nor are you humans. Monsters is an appropriate word to use for paws.”

“Shall we let her choose then?” The man with a fluffy head of hair said. 

The silence that followed was deafening. The tension in the air was at its peak and both sides were ready for an attack. 

“Come now, Y/N. Let’s go home, I’ll get you some ice cream if you cooperate now.” Your brother held his hand out, palm facing up - placating. He didn’t want to lose his face in front of his friends and males who didn’t even know you. 

But you refused. Your head went to Jimin’s neck as you stood up, trying to hook a leg onto his waist. 

Keyword: trying. 

You were just too short for him. 

The man with fluffy hair chuckled lowly at your attempts. Quickly hooking a hand under your thighs, he lifted you up onto Jimin’s hip. As he left, going back to his spot, your hand shot out to hold him in place, accidentally pulling against his hair instead. Your hand quickly retracted and your head shot up. 

“I -”

He was quick to soothe you, one hand patting your thigh in a soothing rhythm while the other went to your untamed hair, softly stroking the back of your head. 

“Hey, hey. It’s okay, okay? You can do whatever you want with me.” You hesitantly pulled against the sleeve of his shirt. 

“Stay? Please?”

He nodded. “Of course, darling. I wouldn’t dare go anywhere.”

The rest of the males reformed themselves to ensure that the three of you in the centre were protected. 

“I think it is clear what her choice is. Now leave.” The pack leader commanded, voice strong with power. You saw your brother’s friend pull him along. 

“Fine! Die with these mutts around you, whore!”

The cat-wolf lunged for your brother when the pack leader pulled him back. 

The males remained in the formation only when they were certain your brother was far enough and they couldn’t smell him from the distance anymore. Only then did they relax their posture, slowly turning towards you with worried eyes. You were no longer shaking in Jimin and the fluffy hair’s hold but your scent was still sour with fear. 

They cautiously moved up the stairs to the living room where they sat down at the sofa. You turned your head to look at them. All seven males were foreign to you - as foreign as the way they made you feel safe and protected. 

“Should we… say names?” The man with a whole sleeve of tattoos asked, eyes big and filled with curiosity - just like a bunny’s, you thought. 

“I’m Namjoon.” The pack leader started. 

“Yoongi.” You finally had a name for the cat-wolf.

“Taehyung.” The fluffy head of hair appeared into your view again. “But I give you special permission to call me TaeTae!”

 You nodded. 

“I’m Seokjin but just Jin is okay, yeah?”

“Me! Me!” The bunny man hopped up. “I’m Jungkookie!”

“You can call me Hobi!” 

Oh that man was filled with sunshine, you could clearly see. 

“And I’m Jimin but you already know that, little one.”

You nodded. 

“Would you like to ask us anything?”

You shook your head then nodded again, pointing to Yoongi. “Cat-wolf. Cat. Meow-Meow.”

Jungkook burst out laughing from your left, igniting a round of laughter that filled the room and lifted the heavy atmosphere. 

“For you, you can call me whatever you want, darling.” Yoongi smiled, gums out as he looked at you with adoration. 

In that moment, you felt their strength and loyalty, their offering to you of a sanctuary - a refuge from the darkness you fought so hard from. From those that have haunted your life for so long. 

As time passed, you became part of their pack - a human amongst werewolves. They were patient in teaching you their traditions and customs, their code of honour and their ways. You learned that they were the protectors of the forest, guardians of the vulnerable, and that they are the core value of the balance of nature itself. 

Namjoon, with his kind eyes and strong presence, quickly became a source of your strength and guidance for you. His knowledge and wisdom never failed to keep you entertained. Although clumsy, this man was the foundation of his pack. 

Seokjin, with his unseriousness and constant care, he helped heal the wounds that your brother and his friends had inflicted upon you. He kept you steady as you grew, always ensuring to pull you up when you got down but bringing you down when you were too high up.

Yoongi, the car-wolf, with his gentle hands and calm nature became another one of your rocks. He never failed to teach you something new that day and he most certainly cooked one of the best foods you have ever tasted - rivalling Seokjin’s. 

Hobi, with his everlasting laughter and sunshine, was an easy person to be around as you healed from your wounds. He never fails to make you laugh. With him around, there was never a dull moment. 

Jimin, with his soft and calming nature, he unintentionally healed both your emotional and mental wounds. While Seokjin cared for your physical wounds, Jimin was always a talking buddy that helped you through understanding yourself and your worth. 

TaeTae, with his outgoing mischievous nature, the both of you were constantly creating something to be cleaned up. Hand-in-hand with Jungkookie, the three of you liked to run out and about, being everywhere. 

Jungkookie, with his curiosity and strength, the both of you were always causing mischief for the others. Like partners-in-crime, the both of you would be curious about everything and anything, so the both of you would always take it upon yourselves to figure out the answers. 

But you have also come to realise that the entire pack was more than just a pack - they were a family. Each of them had their own unique qualities and were a force to be reckoned with. Today was a full moon and under the light of the glowing orb, you discovered a love and acceptance that you had never known. Your past, with all its pain and suffering, seems to fade into the background when you are with them. Embracing the new chapter of your life, you ran forward with them, putting your full trust in the seven males you had learned to understand. 

With your heart and spirit soaring, you felt the exhilaration of the transformation, the wind against your fur, and the pure joy of being truly free. In these moments, you knew you had found your place - a home amongst those who have shown you the power of love, trust, and transformation. 

As you looked up the the moon, you couldn’t help but feel a huge wave of gratitude. The moon led you here today - to the sanctuary - a place where you were no longer a victim but a survivor; that you were no longer alone but in a place filled with love and acceptance. 

As you howled at the moon and cuddled amongst your pack, you came to realise that sometimes, safety and love are found in the most unexpected places. For instance, in a moonlit sanctuary of a werewolf pack that had become your everlasting family. 

[curioushabitforarivergod]

Queen of Hadrian

(Harrymort Ancient Rome AU)

Yes, Dumbledore is based off Cicero — I find both of them annoying. The 'Queen of Hadrian' thing is drawn directly from the rumour that Caesar was a 'Queen of Bithynia' surrounding his sexual relationship with Nicodemus. I've messed with actual basis of timelines horrendously, but heyho who cares. 615 words.

Voldemort's gaze keeps him bound like a dog. It rests heavy, preventing Harry from moving as Dumbledore spits poisonous truths to the senate, exaggerates, twists them. More than anything, Harry wants to jump from his seat and rip the old man's throat from his body, but Voldemort denies him.

"And we listen here to this damned man," Dumbledore rants. The Senate hold onto his words — for all his flaws Dumbledore has good rhetoric. "This damned man who is nothing more than a Queen of Hadrian."

Harry's ears ring. Distantly he is aware of the Senate breaking into noise. Everything sounds under water.

How dare Dumbledore insinuate Voldemort isn't a man? How dare Dumbledore debase their relationship? And it's hardly true — yes Harry and Voldemort are unconventional and prone to exoletus — but it's hardly true.

My Lord, let me rip out his tongue, Harry begs Voldemort from across the Senate. Let me murder him for his accusations against you. Against us.

>>

"Let me rip out his tongue." Harry paces angrily in Voldemort's room. "He was unjust, uncouth… he deserves crucifixion… some painful death."

"Calm, you vicious thing," Voldemort hisses soothingly. His words are fond, and as Harry passes him, he draws the younger man close, pressing a kiss to his hair.

Harry stills.

"The Senate don't believe him," Voldemort assures, "and even if they did, even if I lost dignity, I hardly care."

"I care," Harry says. "They don't worship you as you deserve."

Voldemort snorts, amused. "And how do I deserve?"

Voldemort, Harry thinks, can be so woefully stupid. He tilts his head up, jutting out his chin. "With every part of their meagre bodies. They ought to cut out their hearts for you."

"You are deeply disturbed," Voldemort says, but the violence seems to please him anyway. His fingers card absently through Harry's hair. "Maybe I cared about the opinion of men once, but that was long ago, and now I care for only one. You are my sole concern, Harry, and Dumbledore, rightly so, has named you my King."

Something unnameable swells in Harry's throat.

"He debased you," he protests. "He- he spoke it to whole Senate an—"

"Hadrian. Harry," Voldemort interrupts. He presses his lips to the scar on Harry's forehead — the one from Gaul when Voldemort's cruelty was at its height. "Don't you understand? I don't mind being your queen. My soul, I enjoy it."

Harry falls silent. His heart clenches and his eyes begin to water. He buries his head along the sharp smoothness of Voldemort's collarbone and breathes deeply, breath hitching. Voldemort smells of linen and wool now, besides the distinct heady musk that Harry loves. Secretly though, he misses the ash and iron and sweat that used to cling to Voldemort's skin. For Harry, a child born and raised in war, blood smells like home.

Voldemort's nose is buried against Harry's skin too, digging past the dark messy curls. His embrace is tight. Harry wonders what he smells like to Voldemort. A king, he wonders, and his mind spirals again, trying to understand Voldemort's confession.

"I don't understand," Harry says, voice muffled by Voldemort's skin. "You're not cinaedus. Why would you choose to be effeminate?"

Voldemort sighs. "It has nothing to do with sex, at least not in the way Dumbledore and you think. A good queen is loyal to her king, and as such, opposite."

Harry lifts his head, his forehead scrunching.

"My dear soul, I am yours. Every sense of the word."

"Queen of Hadrian," Harry says slowly. "You mean it. You love me as much as I worship you."

Voldemort lowers his head in a single nod. "With all my heart, you are my king."

More Harrymort Ancient Rome

Laurel Wreath / Twenty-Four Seeds / Queen of Hadrian

[vindicated-truth]

Beyond Evil Trivia: Lee Dongsik never killed Song Jiho

I’m glad this was clarified, because even though it was somehow “accepted fact” in the fandom that Song Jiho—the murderer of Lee Sangyeob—was killed by Dongsik, in the show this was actually never explicitly confirmed, even though it was in the initial script.

In the final iteration of the story—and with what I imagine was writer Kim Sujin’s careful consideration of the real victims and families she interviewed—Song Jiho’s fate was left completely vague because they didn’t want to promote the agenda of personal revenge or advocate the pursuit of vengeance.

From a character standpoint, this also makes the most sense to me because I don't think Dongsik would be the kind of person to actually kill someone, no matter his deep-seated hatred, just because he is at his core a good person, whom (as his surrogate family in Manyang always say) had to endure a lot of suffering.

He has never, in my opinion, seemed to me the kind of person who would give up his morals in pursuit of his own vindictive vengeance. Because if he was, then he should've already went down that path 21 years ago, when he was not only wrongly accused, but physically beaten into submission by actual police officers—Nam Sangbae included.

Granted, it's a different, immediate trauma to actually witness someone you care for die in front of you with what happened with Lee Sangyeob (with every other person he loved whom he lost, he only experienced it after the fact: his sister, his parents, Minjeong, Sangbae).

But as we've seen with how he acted in finding Minjeong's fingers and finally piecing all the clues together and realizing that the serial killer is in fact his pseudo-brother he trusted for 20 years, he had never succumbed to personal vengeance. He isn't as clear-minded as Joowon in taking steps to act, but he isn't as prone to letting his emotions free reign either. His actions with Kang Minjeong's fingers showed that clearly: he still set out with a plan of his own.

In the actual storytelling of Beyond Evil as well, I had never once thought that Dongsik killed Song Jiho for several logical reasons:

1) When it was revealed that he was demoted from the RIU, the reason that was repeatedly given was that he could not explain the death of his partner, Lee Sangyeob. That was the only reason. If he had killed Song Jiho, or at least when Song Jiho had been found dead at the scene, that would've been one of the major reasons why he was demoted. Therefore, Song Jiho did not die.

2) At the very least, Song Jiho was rescued at the last minute. When you watch Episode 7, you can already hear the sirens of the ambulance wailing while Dongsik was already beating up Song Jiho, so the paramedics would've already arrived at the scene shortly after. Lee Sangyeob had already died prior so they couldn't save him, but the paramedics would've arrived just in time to save Song Jiho.

3) The whole point of Dongsik’s character is that he’s someone who still bravely powered through life despite being wrongly accused as a murderer. He’s not going to turn around and suddenly prove the accusations right.

If for nothing else, he’s stubborn enough to fight the system precisely by proving them all wrong. He was stubborn enough to keep his silence in protecting Lee Sangyeob’s dignity even after his death, and he paid the price in being demoted. He’s fighting the system precisely by continuously defying them—and proving them wrong.

Him becoming a murderer would have only proved them right.

(As a side note: I actually addressed this in my fic here, which I'm glad to see now that my deductions were closer to canon. I could have never believed Dongsik capable of killing anybody.)

[starwrighter]

I am not a baby!! (yes you are)

(Ao3) (Masterpost) (Previous) (Next)

(Chapter 14)

Damian was fighting for his life, for his dignity! Uproarious laughter rang in his ears, his siblings cheering for karma.

“This is the best day of my life!” Tim cried. “The tides turn! It’s a miracle!” 

“I let him win!” He defended, watching the hatchling swim around.

“Sure ya did,” Jason added sarcastically.

“He’s smaller than a Mesmer! You’d have to be an idiot to think I couldn’t defeat him!” The hatchling is tiny, likely twice as fragile as the rest of his clutch despite his ferocity. 

“Can we please not goad Damian into killing the guppy?” Dick admonished, the eldest being the only one of his siblings with sense. 

“I’m just saying, a hatchling got him to back off twice,” 

“I didn’t want to crush him!” He snapped, “What was I supposed to do?” Damian could’ve easily snapped his tail and thrown the hatchling away. He just didn’t want to hurt the guppy.

“I get it. Babies are a terrifying force to be reckoned with. We’re all glad you escaped with your life,” Jason teased with faux sympathy.

“He didn’t scare me! And he sure as the Lava zone didn’t defeat me,” He screeched, tail thrashing back and forth through the bright red grass of the grassy plateaus.

“Listen,” Tim started. I know how hard it is to admit defeat,”

“Of course, you know how to admit defeat Drake,” Damian interrupted. “But I wasn’t defeated, so I can’t relate,” He sneered. 

“It’s worse than we thought,” Tim replied sadly, “He’s in denial!” 

“I am not in denial!!” He roared, startling the hatchling. The hatchling fled his nest, swimming back into his egg.

A noxious cloud of decay spilled into the water. A putrid scent of death assaulted his senses. Worse than anything a gaslopod could shoot out but still appealing to the scavengers of the shallows. Blood clouding the water smelled too rotten to belong to the living hatchling but was similar enough to send his heart racing.

Often these eggs hatched one or two babies, the amount of viscera spread out through the shallows was enough to suggest two babies had been inside that egg. One child rotting before they even got a chance to hatch.

The living hatchling emerged alone once again… Depressing.

“What're we going to call him?” Dick asked.

“The girls would be pissed if we named him without them,” Jason added.

“They should’ve been here if they wanted to name him,” Damian said. “ They have no reason to be mad at us for their tardiness,” He finished. 

“Disrespectfully, I don’t want to die,”  Jason said.

“Can we at least discuss names?” Dick whined.

“You haven’t even met him!” 

“Only because you’re hogging him!” His older brother pouted.

“He’s very stab happy, would you rather I let him swim to you and attack a reaper on the way?” Damian sniped back.

“I’d rather you let us help you guard him,”

“No! I’m perfectly capable of watching a hatchling,”

“…but he stabbed you?”

“Just a scratch, barely a concern,” Damian defended, “A tiger plant could hit harder than he did,” 

“I for one, vote we keep the stabby teenager away from the stabby baby,” Tim suggested. 

“Shut up or I’ll teach him to stab you on command!” Damian sneered, cutting off the bond. He needed time to think.

Damian turned, but the hatchling was nowhere to be seen. His blood froze, gills flaring. No no no no no no no, he couldn’t be the one to lose this hatchling. Father would never trust him with anything ever again! Shooting over to the little one’s nest, Damian tapped on the barrier.

Tap…Tap…Tap…

Nothing

Tap…Tap…Tap

Again 

Tap.Tap.Tap.Tap.Tap.Tap.Tap.Tap.

Faster, more consistent, he braced himself for the hatchling to shoot out and start mauling him again. Still nothing, not a peep or shuffle. 

He lost the hatchling.

@ashoutinthedarkness @avelnfear @meira-3919 @thought-u-said-dragon-queen @hugsandchaos @blep-23 @zeldomnyo @bytheoldwillowtree @justwannabecat @shepherdsheart @starlightcat04 @stargazing-bookwyrm @pupstim @dragongoblet @noxcheshire