#Not that it was any better for the other ninja's

[le0n-ardo]

💙 Leonardo NSFW Headcanons/ficlet 💙

Disclaimer: all my writings contemplate the turtles aged up at about their late 20s, with the reader at the same age range. Obviously, this is 18+. Your media consumption is your own responsibility ✨ dividers by @/saradika-graphics

Read the SFW headcanons here! | More Ninja Turtle headcanons in my masterlist!

No one can blame you for not resisting those bright blue eyes.

Leonardo is caring and chivalrous, and that translates into the bedroom.

One of his signature moves is picking you up bridal style and gently setting you down on the bed to get started.

He knows undressing you is a dance, and he will always take his time with this, removing your blouse, your pants, your bra, gradually leaving you bare and relishing in every detail of you.

If you're wearing a dress, he's done for. He loves how you look in a dress, especially sundresses. For someone who takes his time undressing you, Leonardo has a hard time not ripping your dresses off of you.

If you wear short skirts, Leonardo.exe stops working.

You two will almost exclusively do it in missionary, and it never fails, nor does it ever get old. You love looking into his fascinating eyes while he takes the lead, whether his pace is soft or he's pounding into you.

Oh yeah, Leronardo's a gentleman, but he is no stranger to passionate lovemaking.

One of his favorite variaitons of missionary is where he pushes in your legs and the backs of your knees are resting on his shoulders. That position angles you just right, letting him reach deeper and have you climaxing multiple times in one go.

Leon usually holds you in a tight embrace while you're doing it. Other times, he'll hold your waist or your hips for better support, but he will (almost always) be holding you no matter what.

He also loves doing it sitting down while you straddle him and bounce on him, with his arms wrapped around your waist holding you close. When you're in this position, Leonardo will also kiss you a lot, making it easy for you both to quickly run out of breath.

Besides kissing your lips, Leon loves to kiss your neck. He doesn't often leave any marks or bruises on you, and if he ever uses his teeth, he'll only nibble gently to add some spice to the make out.

With that said, he knows that nibbling on your earlobe really turns you on, and he'll sometimes do it while you're climaxing to enhance your orgasm.

What he really wants is to feel close to you, and for intimacy to truly feel intimate.

That being said, he rarely leaves the bandana on during sex. He doesn't wear that many clothes to begin with (he's essentially shirtless, not that you'd complain), so removing the bandana feels like he's undressing for you. Plus, it brings out the blue of his eyes even more.

Leonardo loves shower sex. You don't do it all that often, so it's special when you do, and when you're showering together he's always extra careful with you, making sure you don't slip and that you're under the warm water so you won't get cold.

Loves to take his time with you and always makes sure that if you're going to have sex, it's because you have at least a good two to three hours available just for yourselves.

As a result, quickies with Leonardo are a rarity. However, if you're both horny enough or things are overall tense, you'll sneak one in for some release before you can have enough time to do it right.

Even when you do have a quickie, Leon will make sure to kiss you sweetly and hold you close when it's done. He always wants to be clear on how much he loves you.

He always holds your hand while eating you out. He loves the way your hand squeezes around his the closer you get to orgasm.

When Leonardo eats you out, it's like he's making love to your cunt. He uses his lips and his tongue and switches between kissing, licking and sucking, always with a luscious pace that never wants to rush your climax.

He loves it when you cum while he's eating your pussy, especially when your thighs squeeze around him.

He really loves your thighs.

He is also a boob man. He loves how soft and warm your breasts are, and he loves watching them bounce while he's fucking you.

If you wear cute lingerie, especially if it's a bra that enhances your breasts, he'll leave it on, at least for the first round. If you want him to go nuts, surprise him with blue lingerie.

Leonardo is a sucker for how you moan. He could get hard just by thinking about your little moans and whimpers or the way your lips pout as you mewl if he's fucking you hard enough.

Leon doesn't really mix eating out with fingering, it's usually either or.

When he's fingering you, he's usually at your eye level where he can make out with you while he works his hand down inside your walls, switching between that and rubbing your clit enough to get you squirming.

He loves receiving oral sex too. He never expects it in return for going down on you, and he always wants you to be careful and take it slow due to his size.

However, when you do go down on Leonardo, he'll let his guard down and sink completely into the moment. He's not very vocal during sex, but when it comes to blowjobs, he will absolutely be moaning.

He also has a bit of a praise/authority kink.

If you ever tell him how good he is or call him anything along the lines of leader (Mr. Leader is his favorite), he'll black out and pound relentlessly. It's the best way to make him take things to the rougher, dirtier side.

If you do the same while going down on him, he'll moan louder and pay extra attention to your hair, tugging and pulling as though asking you to keep saying that sweet praise to him.

Leon loves feeling your hands on him, especially on his chest and his arms. He's noticed that you pay extra attention to his tattoos and your hands will often rest on top of them, and you've also noticed the little smirk he makes when you do this - he's not sure why you like his tattoos so much, but he loves that you do.

If you have tattoos too, he kisses every line of them. They're just another thing he loves and cherishes about you. If the tattoo is ordinarily hidden from sight, it turns him on that he's able to see it all to himself.

The king of after care and post-sex making out.

The post-sex make out will almost always lead to another round.

You were normally great at keeping your workouts with Leonardo separate from your intimate playtime with him, but that evening he'd been so great that you'd been mentally going down on him as soon as the warm up was finished. He was helping you stretch like he always did, holding your left leg down straight while the other one was bent at an angle, stretching your hamstring. You were flat on your back on the mat while he was on top of you, holding you securely with those strong arms, finding just the right point between pressure you could handle and a relaxation that came after exercising.

You caught his blue eyes and smirked at him, bringing a spare hand up to delicately brush his cheek, paying close attention to the scar on his cheek as you slid your fingertips over it. Leonardo gave a smooth chuckle - the sound was already so deep and seductive, you wondered if he knew it would only enhance your desire for him - and then he looked at you with his leader look. You know, the one he adopted when someone around him was being unserious, and while he cherished the lightness of heart, he still wanted to bring them back to the matter at hand.

It didn't matter to you. You simply pouted innocently at him and bit your lower lip. "That feels good."

"Come on, beautiful," Leo smiled at you. "We still have to do the other leg."

"You can do whatever you want to me," you prompted, after which you let out a deliberate, wanting moan when he switched legs.

Leonardo laughed, but you could feel his body hardening as he pressed up against you, and in the lighting of the lair, you noticed faint droplets of sweat forming on his forehead - droplets that weren't a result of the cool down and stretching you'd been doing the past ten minutes.

"You're not letting this go, are you?" He asked you, his tone already predisposed to your confirmation.

"We have the lair to ourselves," you cooed. "I'm surprised you're not already getting down to business. I would have expected you to take charge already, Mr. Leader."

Leonardo moaned into a faint laugh, leaning down to plant a soft kiss on your lips. "Is that a challenge, dear?"

"Consider it an invitation," you purred.

Leonardo bent down and fully sank into your lips, kissing you with gentle passion as he went from coach to lover. He let go of your leg and held your back up so he could wrap his arms around you, letting his tongue brush over yours and his teeth gently nibble on your lower lip. Leonardo began to make his way down and let his lips kiss whatever spot of you they found, not minding the sweat that still clung to your skin. Over your shirt, he kissed and cherished your breasts before continuing his way down, farther down until he reached your hips and took your leggings and panties off with swift delicacy, leaving you exposed and all to himself.

He didn't delay. Leonardo parted your legs and lusciously brushed his tongue over your folds with the passion and longing you could always count on from him. You could tell by the way he pressed his lips on your pussy that your antics while stretching had riled him up, leaving him only slightly hungrier than usual, but it was all the better for you. You encouraged Leon with your whimpers, moaning as you got closer to release until you finally arched your back as his name escaped you in a whine. He dragged your climax as long as he possibly could, all the way until your ecstatic moans became breathless, tender little mewls, after which he made his way back up to your eye level and finished undressing you with a hungry look in his eyes.

Thanks so much for reading! You can see my masterlist for more if you want!

Reblogs are appreciated! 💙

[ninja-confession-go]

I actually really don’t like any of the canon Ninjago ships between the main ninja. All of them boil down to forced obligatory straight ships that I never could get into.

Jaya started out with Jay being weirdly creepy and possessive over Nya, ESPECIALLY in Skybound. Like, the first time he hears of her, not even having met her yet, he asks if she’s hot. I think, if he maybe had a little crush at the beginning (after he got to know her), and she reciprocated on her own, I would like it a lot more. I even did like the episode where they go on a date and Jay learns to be his true self, I think that’s probably my favorite moment involving Jaya. The whole love triangle was weird bc I think all three of them were OOC, so I chose not to count it. Skybound is particularly bad because Nya openly expresses that she wants to have an identity outside of being with Jay, and a few minutes later, the writers just have her say she wants to be with him.

Pixane also felt forced because of how quickly they “fell” for each other after such minimal interaction. They never felt “compatible” because they have virtually no connection outside of being “the robots who are smart”. They don’t have any chemistry until maybe SOG, and I think that’s because Pixal herself isn’t allowed to have much of a character other than “Zane’s love interest” and “the other smart one”.

Kailor has pretty much the same problems as Pixane, but at least they have more chemistry. There doesn’t seem to be any real reason they like each other, other than Kai thinking Skylor’s hot. Skylor doesn’t even seem to be that into Kai when she’s not putting up her facade, so I don’t necessarily mind that they’re not technically together yet.

Llorumi is abusive, I don’t think I have to explain why I don’t like it.

Overall, I think the show handles these ships better in later seasons, but they’re still far from perfect. My biggest problem is just how forced they were from the start, and how it never feels like any of the characters have a legitimate reason for why they’re attracted to their love interest. I don’t outright hate any of them (except for Llorumi), but I wish they were executed better, and the female counterparts got more character and agency in their respective relationships

.

[forgetful-nerd]

It's their mission to Indoctrinate every Leo they come across.

[turtleblogatlast]

[ cw: technical child endangerment / ]

Y’know every time I see the turtle tots playing with their original weapons I’m always flabbergasted that Splinter let Leo have a literal sword as a small child.

And then left him unsupervised with it.

Like, at least the others had blunt weapons (though still dangerous in their own right, especially Raph’s blunt tipped sais) but Leo’s katana are so easily lethal that it’s a miracle he seemed to be a natural with them. Because, if he wasn’t a natural then…oof.

It’s at least a good thing he only got one sword at first and not his usual two. Splinter would’ve needed to count his lucky days because OOF.

[corellianhounds]

There were parts of TBoBF I wanted to like but the writers and directors just kept making story choices that made their characters look dumb or inept.

I wanted to like the fight sequence with Mando and Boba working around each other in the streets, but if they were able to hide on the rooftop of the bombed out Sanctuary until getting the drop on the Pykes et al., why on earth would they leave the rooftop

Why would you come out of hiding. Why would you give up your cover in exchange for being wide out in the open. Why would you give up the literal high ground to go stand in the middle of a three-way intersection within a more achievable firing distance for your enemies. Why wouldn’t you stay on the roof firing from afar, something the both of you as hunters would not just know how to do better than anybody else there, but would know TO do in this specific situation. Why are you negating the element of surprise and the entire purpose of being on the rooftop to begin with.

I don’t care how cool they could have looked. I don’t care that we get to see the jetpacks in action. I don’t care how it’s supposed to represent some “I’ve got your back” moment between these two. It’s an incredibly basic directorial and fight choreography flub to have your two characters purposefully put themselves into danger when you’ve literally just established that they had the strategic advantage. Even children know it’s harder for people to get to you when you’re up somewhere out of reach.

[bulbabutt]

i sure hope as a second mass exodus from twitter occurs (along with the overwhelming conservative nature of the world right now) we dont keep getting more people demanding purity culture. you cant demand every pervert on the internet 'kys' or else there will eventually be no one left on the internet. that window of acceptability will always swing back further and further until the idea of sharing a bed as a married couple is taboo once again.

this is one of the last bastions of peace we have where you can post queer or diverse or maybe just weird art without getting spotted by bigoted grifters trying to make money off outrage culture calling you a pervert or worse. and its entirely imperfect as a website with its own fucking problems, but i really hope the people on it dont start getting worse.

i dont care what you do so long as youre kind to others and respect their rights to exist, and their boundaries. that shouldnt be a controversial statement but i bet i lose followers over it again.

it should also go without question that this does not include people who celebrate fascism. those are the people you need to make clear do not belong in your spaces, people who wilfully wish harm on the more marginalized.

and i understand that i keep bringing this up, that i sound like a broken record and perhaps thats annoying, but im honestly worried about it. i think modern social media and the nature of needing to network to be found by an algorithm that doesnt like anything controversial makes everyone worse. makes you try to be as broadly acceptable as possible. but thats always going to be a losing battle as more and more things become less acceptable.

i think a lot of you just might not have been alive before 2008, but anonymity on the internet is so important. it keeps you safe. we lost that at some point, as the socials with your full name and phone number started forcibly adding your boss to your friends list. made everyone start locking down their shit, as a random meme about 'boss makes a dollar i make a dime' can get you fired.

theres a lot of outing and doxxing culture thats so fucking normalized, and as the world grows more hostile to people who make a stink about things, i hope you dont find any excuse to get them hurt just so you can separate yourselves from them. i want you to think about things like the hayes code, where being gay could get you labelled a pervert. so you might think 'its okay ive never done anything inappropriate on the internet' (which, i dont believe you about) maybe not yet, but as the ideals of whats socially acceptable turn back to the 1950s you will have. keeping at a witch hunt looking for anyone with immoral art is only feeding the fire that will eat you later.

[thegreateggbandit]

Drew the Rise turtles a little while ago!!!!

Uuuhh anyway so this was my first time drawing them and since I figured mutant turtle anatomy (turtatomy heh) would prooobably be harder than human anatomy, I firgured I'd first do it in a style I could actually draw in.

Over the three days in which I drew this I:

Gave then more dynamic poses

Realized pinterest isn't the best reference image place for ROTTMNT

Sharpened my pencil

And I think got a little better!

Anyhoo, this probably isn't the last of them so YOU'VE BEEN WARNED *spooky ghost noices*

[tinyghostarts]

@sinestroslight and I keep being chaotic together and somehow went from 'do Krang taste of strawberries' to Krang in drag

The second version was drawn because I was streaming myself draw Krang One. Chaos happened; I made Krang sing memes

[st4rsinthenight]

★angel.★

[ninjaaa-go]

Probably an unpopular opinion, but I started rewatching Ninjago, and I feel like it would have been better if they kept Kai as the protagonist and Cole as the team leader rather than giving both of those roles to Lloyd

[hauntedshells]

hot take, I actually really like how the bayverse turtles look a lot but everything else about the movies are just off, didn’t enjoy the plot, the jokes mikey makes about april are SO WEIRD(she NAMED HIM when he wasn’t even mutated yet and he’s making boner jokes about her? EW.), why did… why did they make casey a cop? I have nothing against megan fox but she doesn’t really look like an april o’neil and that’s kind of impressive considering april’s had so many different looks, somehow they made the foot clan feel even more uncomfortably terrorist(I know tmnt has a history of being anti asian racist but like still) and while the fandom has a few wonderful people most of the fandom is so gross like the whole bayverse tag is smut of the TEENAGE mutant ninja turtles and no aging them up is not any less weird if you’re doing it only to sexualize them. these movies also have the humor of those adult cartoons that try way too hard to seem adult to the point that they feel childish and the vibes are just off.

the 90’s movies definitely had their flaws but they were so much better than bayverse. and mikey having a crush on april doesn’t have to be weird in the first 90’s movie the turtles made comments on how pretty she was and seemed to have a crush on her and that’s normal and healthy kids have crushes on adults all the time it’s not inherently bad but the way that mikey did really is classic michael bay because OF COURSE he can’t make a movie without objectifying megan fox. but the fact that they made it so april’s dad was one of the people who mutated them and she named them and they used to be like her pets makes it a lot grosser that no one says anything against mikey calling her his girlfriend and sexualizing her.

even though I’m sad splinter lost any connection to hamato yoshi I still really enjoyed him I like bayverse splinter and donnie’s really endearing

[darkclouud9]

I dont *quite* celebrate christmas, so whenever I see like. santa Kakashi. it just. makes my jaw drop. this is not a projection thing, he seriously just does NOT feel like the kind of guy to celebrate christmas to me. so every time there's official art of him for the holiday I just.

he's the kind of guy to not even know his own birthday to me, you get me?

[britcision]

Eeeeh you just lost the lottery so we’re going to play “Cultures That Aren’t The Modern West Exist” and also basic critical thinking

Spoilers for the Adventurer’s Bible and Izutsumi’s actual backstory below, I’ll keep the dungeon stuff out of it

Because you’re right! Izutsumi was bought by the Nakamoto family as a kid, as a possession not a person. The people they bought Izutsumi from kept her almost naked in a cage and never fed her

She was part of a travelling freak show, and every single thing in her life improved after the Nakamotos bought her; she was trained, fed, treated like a person, and not punished from skimping on her chores

(Although when Inutade did them instead and hurt herself Izutsumi did get told off… by Hien, her contemporary

)

This is actually a pattern; Inutade and Benichidori were both also bought by Shuro’s father, Inutade as a prize fighter and Benichidori as a servant (presumably because she’s a tall-man)

The Nakamotos have a habit of buying young women from harsh lifestyles and training them to be ninjas, which includes feeding them, training them, and giving them a stable home where they don’t have to fear being sold again

All this for the low low price of “you’re probably going to die in their service, either of being a ninja or old age”, because that’s how the feudal system works; people in service to a noble family only have the rights that family gives them, and their lifestyle is set and maintained by that family

The Nakamotos notably seem to maintain the loyalty of their elite trained fighting women by taking them from a bad situation and giving them a better one, and all the women have to do in return is remain in service

If Toshiro’s father hadn’t bought Izutsumi, if she were still alive at all she’d be eating live rats and occasional scraps in a cage, half feral

And, just for fun: Izutsumi’s timeline

She was 10 when the Nakamotos bought her. She was 12 when the only real punishment she ever got for running away was administered…

The same babysitting curse that was put on Shuro, potential heir to the leader as a kid

(Note: personally I think this should have thrown Maizuru’s technique as a governess into question the first time it happened, but since she was only trained to be a ninja not a childcare provider it’s not all that surprising)

Raise your hands everyone who thinks a feral 10-12yo beastman, who has already been forcibly made a sideshow attraction once, would have survived

Now use that hand to slap yourself

Every fighting move she knows comes from the Nakamotos and while yes, she was not free as a bird to do what she wanted when she wanted, she’s a fucking teenager

A large chunk of her storyline is going to be her figuring out that she can’t just do what she wants when she wants, because that is how life works

She never faces consequences for having left Shuro’s team, per the comic you posted they were a little exasperated on learning she’d even broken the curse and was therefore unlikely to ever return, but no one tried to hunt her down again

Cuz now she’s old enough and trained enough to probably not immediately die

“Fully a slave” my fucking ass, all three of the girls the Nakamotos bought lived and trained alongside Hien in the same damn bedroom, whose family are established servants of the Nakamoto clan with enough status and prestige that she was raised alongside the eldest son of the clan leader

That, by the way, is a higher honour than being born into the clan directly at a lesser branch, because the heir to the fucking lordship is about as important as it gets

Chilling in the same classroom would give Hien a better education than 80% of the “free” population (likely peasants and most lesser noble families)

Shuro’s family rescued Izutsumi from a literal cage, treated her like a person for the first time since she was 6 and had her body modified against her will, raised and trained her until she was capable of actually surviving on her own, and let her go without a single consequence

She showed extremely early on and consistently that she would not be grateful, loyal, or even inclined to stick around, and while they could have significantly saved money and trouble by just letting her go when she kept trying to escape, they not only brought her back but kept training her to be actively independent and defend herself

Now, this wasn’t a pure act of charity, since she was still expected to at least partially pull her weight with chores and being a ninja

(Hmmmm yet no one’s talking about the ethics of teen ninjas)

But chattel slavery was an entirely unique form of evil that was significantly worse than the millennia of different forms of slavery being practiced across the world for an incredibly long list of reasons that absolutely none of the “OMG SHURO’S FAMILY OWNS SLAVES” are remotely ready to consider

(What the fuck do you want them to do? Personally overthrow the fucking feudal system?)

So let’s simplify to the most basic dichotomy:

You can be free, or you can be safe

(If you have any doubt of which you are, freely stop paying your bills and see what happens)

While she was too young to defend herself, Izutsumi was saved from being a sideshow attraction by Shuro’s family, and then kept safe until she was strong enough to take the freedom she clearly preferred

She’s not wrong to choose freedom, to turn her back on them at the first chance, and she’s not wrong to not feel bad about it. It’s all a valid series of choices, and she never lied about her intentions

Izutsumi deserved a loving home, and she never got it, including from Shuro’s family

But she was fed, cared for, trained in multiple valuable skills, and faced zero repercussions for taking that and running

She had her freedom the second Maizuru believed she’d survive it (by breaking the curse)

There’s a reason we see Inutade so often being so happy to be part of the Nakamoto clan’s servants

Izutsumi chose freedom

Inutade chose safety

And the wish granting fairy that is Shuro’s dad gave them both exactly what they wanted

Them not living to the happy moral standards of the American Dream probably has something to do with the story not being set in America

not to put too fine a point on it but like, isutzumi was fully 100% a slave of shuro's family

[giveamadeuschohisownmovie]

Ways I can think of that “DanDaDan” differs from other shonen series:

* Female MC is as important as male MC

* Canon romance gets consistent development through the series. I think that’s part of the reason why the MC ships with the rivals (Aira, Jiji) aren’t as popular with the fandom for once. The main ship is actually getting good development, so the fanbase doesn’t have to make up headcanons to fill in the space.

* Flips the found family trope on its head by having the main group despise new people whenever they show up and they even actively try to kick them out. The new people only end up staying because they keep lingering around to the point that the main group just gives up and lets them stay.

* The rivals aren’t emo or angst-ridden. Aira is a delusional tryhard popular girl while Jiji is a himbo drama queen. I’d even go as far to say that the MCs are the ones who are emo and angst-ridden.

* Supporting cast is more than just important, they become integral to the story. I’d say that the further you read into DanDaDan, the more it becomes an ensemble cast where everyone is a protagonist in their own right.

* World-building is all over the place, but in a good way. Most other shonen are pretty consistent with what kind of world their characters live in. MHA is superhero-based, Naruto is ninjas and magic, Bleach is spirits, and so on. DanDaDan feels like the author just throws whatever cool shit they can think of into the story. That’s actually the reason why I wrote in a different post that DanDaDan reminds me more of Marvel/DC than any other shonen series, it manages to capture the catch-all insanity of those comics.

* Doesn’t rely on hidden power-ups. The main characters either have to outsmart the villains or they have to train to get better with the powers they already have.

* The pervert comic relief guy is actually endearing for once. Not because of his pervert tendencies, but because he’s so oblivious to how socially inept he is that it’s kind of funny. This is gonna sound strange, but he sorta reminds me of Thor in Thor Ragnarok. Full of himself and oblivious to how dumb he can be. He’s Thor without the good looks lol.

* Flips the “nerdy outcast loser somehow gets a harem” trope. Instead of making Okarun cooler than how he actually is, the story emphasizes that the women who fall for Okarun are as weird as him. Momo is a weird outcast, Aira has main character syndrome, Vamola doesn’t understand how to human because she’s literally not one, Rin thought Okarun was a vampire (and wanted him to be).

* Flips the “elderly figure in charge of the teenagers” trope. I don’t really get motherly figure vibes from Seiko Ayase, I get more “cool wine aunt who is stuck with her niece” vibes. In fact, there was the arc where Okarun showed up to her in spirit mode to get her help with fighting off the alien invasion and Seiko’s response was, “Well, I’m not in the area and I have other shit to do, so you kids figure it out.”

* The series takes the piss out of the trope of mystical/magical items that the group acquired to get their powers. I mean…the main mystical MacGuffin in the series are Okarun’s balls.

* Okarun was about to go into an “I’m weak / I wish I was stronger / I want to get stronger for my friends” breakdown, but Turbo Granny told him to shut up and keep fighting.

* Not afraid to put the “cool girl” in as many funny situations as possible. Off the top of my head, the series built up Momo as this cool, tough girl who doesn’t take shit from anyone…then several chapters later, Okarun found out she got a job at a maid cafe.

(Feel free to add to the list!)

[ham1lton]

NOT A CHILL GIRL.

pairings: lewis hamilton x chronically online fiancée!yn

faceclaim: jordana brewster

summary: chronically online, funniest on the grid, and the proud owner of a face card that never declines—at least, according to yourself. your fiancé might raise an eyebrow at the first claim, the world might debate the second, but no one’s arguing with the third.

warnings: just jokes. don’t take any of this seriously.

author’s note: hope u enjoy bunny anon! :D

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liked by lewishamilton, yourinstagram and 187,938 others.

ham1ltonshaderoom: celebrity stylist, and fiancée of f1 legend lewis hamilton, yn yln took to instagram stories to share some concerning posts. what do we think about these captions, ham1ltons?

view all 23,837 comments

yourinstagram MAMA I MADE IT

— user1 yn you have dressed some of the top celebrities and this is what you’re excited over??

— user2 forget that. she’s fucking LEWIS HAMILTON!!! and this is what she’s excited over???

user3 this is a v tame post for yn LMFAO

— user4 like she’s posted worse 😭

user5 she’s so unserious i’m obsessed

— user6 my fav wag

user7 i love the fact she’s dressing zendaya, showing up to her hot fiancé’s races and still finds time to shitpost

— user8 she’s so me

user9 she should be embarrassed. she’s grown

— user10 she will never see this btw

user11 i need to know lewis’ thoughts on these posts

user12 she’s the moment. i want to be her so bad.

— user13 successful in her own right AND secured the bag. #needtoBEthat

────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──────

────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──────

INSTAGRAM LIVE

yn i’m using lewis’ ninja creami to make slushies and sydney isn’t picking up her phone because she’s on set. so entertain me, my little gladiators.

user1 what flavour slushie are you making and why is it pure tequila

yn no. it’s a margarita mix. mostly anyways. all about balance babes.

user2 worst red carpet outfit request you’ve ever gotten?

yn girl some actor asked me to dress him up in head to toe camo… i wanted to be sick.

user3 yn, when’s the wedding? lewis is literally ready to propose again.

yn not until jungkook confirms he’s off the market. i need to know i’m not leaving options on the table.

user4 did you see lando’s post underneath your birthday post to lewis.

yn i did and i’m angry. how dare he be funnier than me on my own shitpost.

user5 who’s better at gift-giving, you or lewis?

yn me. obviously. lewis once got me a pen because “it looked sleek.” it was a nice pen, but still a pen.

user6 yn, if you could style anyone in history, who would it be?

yn harry styles but in 2012. imagine the chaos if he let me near those blazers.

user7 how did you guys meet?

yn via a mutual friend at a party. i thought his choice of shoes was disastrous and he thought i was funny. so obviously i went home with him that night. then i fell in love or whatever.

user8 you are literally the blueprint for chaotic but lovable. never change.

yn never will, little gladiator. never will.

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liked by yourinstagram, thirstystan1 and 1,098,125 others.

lewishamilton: sunday best, thank you theststyle

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yourinstagram why won’t this damn app swipe RIGHT?!?!?

— lewishamilton wrong app sweetheart

— yourinstagram oh shit 😓 can you show me how to download the right one? ever since ashley madison shut down and farmersonly.com banned me for “unsolicited flirting,” it’s been tough out here.

— lewishamilton maybe try clownsonly.com—heard they’re taking new members.

— yourinstagram wow. this from the guy who once googled “how to impress a bad bitch” and got caught.

— lewishamilton a bad bitch was impressed, wasn’t she? checkmate.

— yourinstagram yeah, well, don’t get used to it. also, happy valentine’s, loser. 💖

— lewishamilton happy valentine’s, clown. ❤️

— user1 y’all are some weirdos 😭🩷

user2 YN GIVE HIM TO MEEEEEE

user3 #NEEDTHAT

— yourinstagram #TOOBAD

— user3 YN PLEASE 😭😭😭😭😭😭

user4 need this relationship NOW

────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──────

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— all works taglist: @luvsforme @yelenasloverrrrr @donttouchthegnote @chelle1306 @bloodyymaryy @km-23mr @stinkyjax @f1kenzzz @ctrlyomomma @aliciaablueprint @theblueblub @namgification @tallrock35 @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @ariellovelynn @shhhchriss @lifeless-firefly @xylinasdiary @evie-119 @itseightbeats @landososcar @velentine @m1892 @blushmimi @evans-dejong @nixisracing @lethalvenus @sainzluvrr @santanasaintmendes @idontknowlmaoo @sainzluvrr @tetetoni @ssprayberrythings @heavy-vettel @tashisgf @daniskywalkersolo @c-losur3 @lestappenslover @linoscrly (see yourself tagged when you don’t wanna be? or you want to be and don’t see yourself? send me an ask!)

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[oh-no-its-bird]

Sakumo being a super popular borderline sex symbol in his era will never stop being my favorite hc, I need to see more of it

All the people his age and younger had a crush on him. It was just a Thing(tm) where 9 times out of 10, a Konoha shinobi's first crush was probably Sakumo. Even other villages young shinobi hung up his bingo book picture above their bunk and dreamed of both killing him, being killed by him (in a hot way), having a battlefield fling with him, and more. There was blackmarket fanfiction. He was incredibly popular among civilians all over fire country. Some popular romance novels had love interests very blatantly based off him.

Even before they were on a team together, Obito and Rin both had a silly kid crush on Kakashi's dad (Obito more than Rin) and he was aware of it. This did not help make him like them any more. (By the time hearing smthn positive ab his dad would have made Kakashi softer, they'd both gotten better at hiding the crush, so to Kakashi it looked like they'd gotten over Sakumo.) Even Minato had a bit of a thing for him, not really but like— strong, popular, feard and very friendly ninja who is now paying him some attention (bc hes his kids teacher) he's not immune. Kushina understands, she is also not immune. (Kakashi is going to throw a fucking fit)

Even after his failed mission, when his reputation crashes and burns within the village, he still can't completely shake his admirers— they possibly just get more disrespectful ab the attraction when it mixes with the hate. (Which tbh could make for an interesting discussion all on its own)

Kakashi is haunted by his father's insane popularity for decades after his death. He does his very best to ignore the lingering evidence of people being insane ab his father.

One day he realizes one of his favorite romance novels has a romance interest based off Sakumo and has a break down ab it and can never read the series again.

When raiding an old abandoned enemy camp w Team Ro, he finds an old, autographed photo of his dad covered in lipstick marks in the communal bathroom. He chooses to ignore it but it's quickly spotted by his teammates, who do not know who Sakumk is, and v quickly begin to remark on the poster, who this mysterious Konoha nin is, and ahaha damn he is kinda good looking, huh? (Kakashi wants to DIE)

Shisui ends up taking the poster back to Konoha with them and hangs it up in the ANBU communal quarters where it is VERY quickly recognized. And also some of the people in that room recognize it so quick bc they also used to own a similar poster. (Kakashi wants to DIE someone PLEASE kill him now)

Its only when he's given team 7 that he finally thinks he's escaped the legacy of his father as Konoha's Most Sexiest Shinobi. Only for Naruto, when being trained by Jiriyah, to find his drafts for Icha Icha very clearly inspired by his dad. Which he can never publish for multiple reasons (lingering respect for Sakumo. Also for Kakashi, who is his biggest fan and would probably never look at him again.)

Naruto somehow accidentally brings this up with Kakashi who like. Has war flashbacks and immediatley stands up and walks away as Jiryah scrambles to try to explain himself and Tsunade looks on in scorn (she will approach him later to carefully ask for the drafts while trying to seem like she's not really asking for them bc she's too proud to admit it)

Naruto and Sakura discover Kakashi-sensei's dad was a sex symbol. I don't even know how they'd react but like. Oh my god. Oh my god you guys.

Funniest option would be they accidentally revive his popularity a little bit by being so loud ab it they like, remind people ab him. + introduce another generation to the idea of him

Kakashi is crouched on the floor with his face in his hands. When will he be freed from this hell.

Sasuke does not escape tho, he goes to sound and finds a picture of Sensei's dad in Orochimaru's office (???????)

This is such a shitty sketch but the vision:

Itachi, who learned who Sakumo was from that poster thing, goes on to find a photo of him in ""Madara's"" belongings and gets super weirded out but ultimately doesn't. Super care. But also. Like. What. What.

After Itachi finds the photo, which Obito genuinley forgot he fucking had and keeps in part just bc its like one of the only belongings that remained from his Konoha days, he shoves it somewhere in Kamui to forget about.

But then in the Obito vs Kakashi Kamui fight, it fucking flutters down in the middle of the fight and Obito fucking dies of humiliation as Kakashi realizes he will truly Never Escape and that this reality is his own personal hell

Uhh endgame Kakashi becomes Hokage and accidentally retreads his father's path in becoming the new Konoha Sexy Man. Which simultaneously crushes him (he will never escape) and fills him with delight (he will now be able to impart the pain of having your father figure be lusted after by all ur friends and acquaintances onto his students)