#Not going to tag leo because I doubt the people looking in the tag wants this | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

thebigqueer · 1 year ago

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omg new year new fun tag game. ty for the tag!! this looks fun

1. how many works do you have on AO3?

49 currently but i have deleted or orphaned some so it could be more than that

2. what’s your total AO3 word count?

187454

3. what fandoms do you write for?

only riordanverse. i’ve considered writing for adventure time but i just don’t have enough passion for it

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Soft Touches in the Darkness (valgrace one shot)

moonlight (valgrace one shot)

Promise? (solangelo one shot)

Lost Voices (solangelo tartarus fic)

Secrets Uncovered in the Firelight (solangelo one shot)

5. do you respond to comments?

no cuz i’m shy 😭 but i do sometimes if someone’s comment is particularly exciting or i like a take. i do always always appreciate the comments though they make me happy <333

6. fic with angstiest ending?

hmm… i would say Bottle the World (arcane au valgrace snippet) or Flaming Eyes (leo & jason)

7. fic with happiest ending?

probably New Year, Old Beginnings (valgrace secret santa au).

8. do you get hate on fics?

no not really. & i’m thankful for that!!

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

not publicly i don’t 🤭 but if you were to look through my docs there’s probably like one sexy piece with my ocs. idk if it counts as smut cuz they don’t actually do anything... it’s just toxic lesbian horny rage nothing really happens lol

10. do you write crossovers? what’s the craziest one you’ve ever written?

i don’t really but i do have an arcane au. it’s not really a crossover i just kind of made up a plot for pjo characters based on the end of arcane lol. (arcane au snippets) WAIT I JUST REMEMBERED someone once asked me to do a (crackfic) she-ra & pjo crossover but i can't find the link unfortunately...

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

i don’t think so

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

nah

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

yes but weve only posted 2 before. all the other co-written fics never got finished unfortunately

14. what’s your all time favorite ship?

honestly i don't have one i think it really depends on my mood and what im reading at the moment.

15. what’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

ARCANE AU 😭 MY POOR ARCANE AU IM SORRY 😭 it's not that i wont write it its just that its never going to be coming out in full its all gonna be in one shots because i have 0 energy. also i had this one "immortal" au i tried writing a while ago and i still like the concept just not the characters i used at the time but i dont think ill write it again

16. what are your writing strengths?

i write a lot (as in my word counts are high per fic) but i dont really consider it a strength because i don't think length equates to the quality of a fic. a fic is good even if its short or long, and i like short fics more beacuse i feel like im feeling just as much in a shorter amount of time but other people might prefer long fics. its about what you write about and how you do it, not about length. ive also been told im pretty good at integrating introspection with dialogue but idk.

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

also plot. it's like the fics that have a really dense and thought-out plot are the ones i never get to finish cuz i get too intimmidated after i finish planning them. i'll always plan them out in bullet points and then even when im almost done planning them out i just give up at the last minute and then never get them done lol. maybe one day i'll finally write something. i think if the plot isn't too dense then it's better off

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i think it's cool. i don't think i've done it yet but maybe i will one day.

19. first fandom you wrote for?

percy jackson. it was a solangelo fic in first person on wattpad 💀 WAITT SCRATCH THAT. when i was in 2nd grade me & bff at the time LOVED the rainbow magic books so i think we wrote something that was similar in plot to that. that was a banger series

20. favorite fic you’ve written?

i really liked "Stay. For Once." (lost trio fic) because it was my first time writing something for the lost trio and even though looking back i might change some things i think i really loved writing about them & thinking about their dynamic. i also really liked "Stars Bursting Across His Lips" (valgrace one-shot) not because i actually like the fic itself that much but it was really fun to write cuz i think driving on a highway at night is the sexiest most erotic most romantic thing anyone can do. i dont think i have a true favorite though.

tagging: @crushing-on-nico-di-angelo @perachel-heretic and anyone else who wants to do it. no pressure though

20 questions for fic writers

tagged by @mrv3000

1. how many works do you have on Ao3? 195

2. what's your total Ao3 word count? 403 068

3. what fandoms do you write for? percy jackson and the olympians, heroes of olympus, trials of apollo, kane chronicles, magnus chase and the gods of asgard, nevermoor, her royal highness, roots of chaos, x-men (films mostly but some comic bleedover), avatar the last airbender, the legend of korra, the kyoshi novels, marvel cinematic universe, bbc ghosts, a song of ice and fire, doctor who, the locked tomb, star wars (prequels mostly), spiderman comics, rosewood chronicles, derry girls, dc (vaguely, comics)

4. what are your top five fics by kudos?

rot with all the burnouts in the cell (dc marvel crossover)

oh my brother, my brother, my brother (who have you become in the wake of all that's happened?) (star wars timetravel)

breezeblocks bricking up my heart (my take on a dadneto reveal)

water into wine (five times percy was the son of dionysus and one time he was the son of poseidon)

5. do you respond to comments? i do my best

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

that's relative and i have so many fics that this probably isn't accurate but by my own measure it's probably don't want to fight the tide (nevermoor fic, being immortal sucks)

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

again that's relative but i'd say there's a million roads to rediscover (pjo/hoo five times jason missed his sister, and one time he saw her again)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

occasionally i get like smarmy comments like one on a certain fic that the timeline didn't line up (it did + i had page references + it was tagged canon divergence anyway) but not really

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

i have one so ig lesbian threesomes??

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

i write so many crossovers i love putting characters in situations. probably rot with all the burnouts in the cell since it involved a ton of drama

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i'm aware of

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

i think one of them but i can't remember which one. (technically this is studying) i'm trying to translate a few of my drabbles into scots gaelic

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

in part like it got started and then i got ghosted before anything else happened

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

the couple i've written the most about is a tie between morridence, fierrochase, and jadie, but i'd say i get the most feelings about ruegard

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Great the Roman is coming up to its third year anniversary this month and i only hit the halfway point a few months ago so we'll see

16. What are your writing strengths?

lesbians. probably emotional stuff if i'm being serious

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

plot. its part of the reason i only do oneshots about 1k-3k but i'd like to work on more big fics. part of the reason was i started a bunch back in 2021 and i'm still working on two of them

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

one of my fics has some dialogue in scots gaelic but i cannot remember for the life of me if its supposed to be 'S ann or 'S e form and its haunting me

19. First fandom you wrote for?

fun fact: i originally wrote on wattpad and published a fierrochase fic on the release day of the hammer of thor. it's called fierrochase and it Sucks but it might actually be the first one ever which is fun if not slightly haunting

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

well you don't know me. but i know you it's a asoiaf time travel fic from the pov of people who don't know. i feel like i really pushed myself with characterisation on it

tagging people who i think write fic @tragedykery @lesmiserablol @oh-hush-its-perfect @thebigqueer @aphrodititi @ethannku @speedytherandom

#tag game #sunny rambles

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leogichidaa · 2 years ago

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Where is the Loyalty? Regulus and Peter

It occurred to me yesterday (note: this has been in my drafts since October 8. Yesterday was over a month ago) that I've made a meta about the parallels between Remus and Regulus (The Great Pretenders) and James and Regulus (Mine!) and I'm constantly comparing and drawing parallels between Sirius and Regulus, but I've left poor Peter out! Which is really an oversight, because there's plenty to draw from in comparing their arcs.

A while back, I was discussing why I related to Regulus with a colleague. I brought up Regulus' (largely self-imposed) limited agency and the fact that he goes along with others' expectations, just floating through life like a leaf in a stream, subject to the mercy of the current. And my colleague's reply was, "Well, he was the ultimate follower until he wasn't." I think that applies to Peter as well.

The Ultimate Follower

Regulus, at least from the information we get in canon, was happy to follow the path laid out for him by his parents. Later, as an adolescent, his rebellious teenage act appears to be becoming an underling doing the bidding of a fascist terrorist leader. Kreacher tells us (emphasis mine):

and when he was sixteen years old, Master Regulus joined the Dark Lord. So proud, so proud, so happy to serve

So happy to serve...setting aside what it means for a house elf to talk about his beloved Master as someone who is eager to serve, that is quite the statement. Regulus, who was raised to believe that his blood made him superior, reportedly took pride in being an obedient and loyal follower and allowing himself to be subservient to others in the name of the cause.

Peter is also described consistently as a follower who seems to delight in taking a backseat to more powerful, assertive, and ambitious men. The first time he is ever mentioned he is described as "tagging around after" Sirius and James. He "hero-worshipped Black and Potter" according to McGonagall (and Regulus' Voldemort collage also smacks of hero-worship).

Everyone in Three Broomsticks during this conversation also calls Peter "little" about a hundred times. Regulus, too, is described as "smaller, slighter" than Sirius. A minor detail, but metaphorically, this plays into the idea that they are weaker, softer, less capable, and thus more naturally inclined to follow the lead of others.

Sirius mentions in the Shrieking Shack in PoA that Peter wanted to make sure Voldemort was the "biggest bully in the playground" before he committed to supporting him. He said that Peter "always liked big friends who'd look after you" and implied that Peter snuck around with "people who were stronger and more powerful" than him. Sirius also describes Regulus as "soft enough to believe [their parents]"; he sees Regulus as pliable and inclined to fall in line with stronger minded people.

Sirius also claims that he suggested the change in Secret Keeper because Voldemort would never suspect that a "weak, talentless thing" like Peter would be entrusted with the duty. He tells Harry "I doubt Regulus was ever important enough to be killed by Voldemort in person." He uses Voldemort's assumed low opinion of Peter and Regulus as a way to further degrade their value (which is...interesting).

It's worth noting that I think Sirius' assessment of both of them is flawed. I think he underestimates Peter to his great detriment. And, as I've mentioned before, he minimizes Regulus' agency and crimes to make Regulus' choices more palatable.

I don't think there's anything soft, weak, or cowardly about joining a war. 'Oh, but Leo, they were followers,' you might say. 'They were peer pressured into joining because they were too frail minded to decide not to actively fight in a war.' But that doesn't add up, imo, especially when you consider that they each betrayed their side in the end. When I was that age, I was soft-spoken, people pleasing, and cowardly. If my besties from high school were like, "hey, we're going to fight a bunch of violent bigots and risk torture and death, come join us," I would have wished them luck and then fled the country. Fuck that shit, I'm out.

The fact remains, though, that both Regulus and Peter were perceived as weak and inferior boys who clung to the apron strings of stronger friends and allies.

(It's interesting to note that in PoA, Harry imagines the scene of Sirius cornering and killing Peter and he pictures Peter looking like Neville. It's unsurprising that Harry makes that link with the information he has at the time, but the comparison to Neville isn't entirely off base in the end. Neville is also thought to be soft, weak, and incompetent, but turns out to be much stronger and more assertive than anyone would have expected.)

Until He Wasn't

Peter, who was "never in [James and Sirius'] league, talent wise", and Regulus who was never "important enough to be killed by Voldemort in person" had their limits to loyalty, as it turned out. We don't get any solid indication about why either of them decided to turn traitor to their side, but I'm going to speculate that being constantly underestimated didn't exactly engender allegiance in them.

In the glimpse of the marauder dynamic that we get in Snape's Worst Memory, it is clear that Peter is at the bottom of the friendship hierarchy. He plays the role of James' cheerleader and ego-booster and he's mocked by Sirius for it. In fact, the Pottermore article on Remus confirms that James and Sirius were never really inclined to be friends with Peter in the first place:

Remus, always the underdog's friend, was kind to short and rather slow Peter Pettigrew, a fellow Gryffindor, whom James and Sirius might not have thought worthy of their attention without Remus's persuasion.

Not thought worthy of their attention...ffs. Well, he certainly got their attention in the end and showed he was talented and clever when he systematically ruined their lives.

For Regulus, I think Voldemort discarding Kreacher was very much symbolic of the lack of care and respect that Voldemort had for the old pureblood families, like the Blacks. I think the horror of the Horcrux was the primary motivator for Regulus to disavow Voldemort, but I think the disrespect was deeply important to him as well. His letter to Voldemort starts with "I want you to know that it was I who discovered your secret." It was not enough for him to steal the Horcrux, he needed Voldemort to know that it was little teenage Regulus who fucked him over in the end. Unfortunate that Voldemort never actually found out he stole it because Harry got there first.

I think that both Regulus and Peter had strengths that were often overlooked because they were compared to more boisterous, outspoken people like Sirius. I think they were both eager for some recognition of their value and had a strong desire to prove themselves, which was likely a draw that brought them into the war in the first place. But in the end, they were neither of them content with the way their side treated them. Regulus decided, more wisely, "fuck everyone", stole a Horcrux, and promptly died. Peter, for whatever reason, decided to keep being an underling, just for a different, objectively worse, boss. In the end, though, he, like Regulus, died at the hands of Voldemort's magic for defying Voldemort.

#Regulus Black #Peter Pettigrew #hp meta

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thetravelerwrites · 4 years ago

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Bashir (Troll) Lemon

Rating: Explicit Relationships: Female Human/Male Troll (World of Warcraft Design) Additional Tags: Exophilia, Monster Boyfriend, Troll, Fake Dating, Hired Boyfriend, Fake Boyfriend Content Warnings: Stalker Ex-Boyfriend, Stalking, Mention of Guns, Brief Violence Series: OkCryptid Words: 6365

A commission for @floral-and-fine! A woman getting out of a bad relationship has moved across her home state to get away from her controlling ex-boyfriend, only for him to show up at her job. Scared, she goes on OkCryptid to recruit a "boyfriend" in hopes of frightening him off. Please reblog and leave feedback!

The Traveler's Masterlist

>Hi. I know we don’t know each other and this is pretty sudden, but I have a proposition for you, and it isn’t what you think.

Vague, yes, but it would catch his attention quickly enough, you thought. You were desperate and didn’t know what else to do.

>Oh, He messaged not long after. >What would that be?

>I want to pay you to go out with me for a while.

>I’m not a prostitute. Lol

>That’s not what I mean, You replied, rolling your eyes. >I know this sounds weird, and if I had more money I’d probably just hire a bodyguard, but I don’t.

>Why would you need a bodyguard?

You sighed. >I have a stalker ex-boyfriend. I dated him for about five months, but he was really possessive and crazy so I broke it off, and now he won’t leave me alone. I moved here last month from across the state and he followed me. He showed up at my work today.

>Ah, I see. So you want me to rip his arms off?

>No, I just want him to see me with someone who is big enough to rip his arms off. Maybe it’ll scare him away. You’re the biggest guy I could find on here. Well, I did find a cyclops that was pretty big, but she wasn’t interested.

>Have you gone to the police about this?

>Yeah, but they said unless I get proof he has intent to do harm, there’s nothing I can do. I can’t even get a restraining order unless he hurts me or causes property damage. It’s like he has to beat me up before they’ll do anything, and I’d rather not let it get that far.

>Gotcha. Why don’t we don’t meet for coffee tomorrow and talk it over?

>That sounds great. I’m free at lunch.

>Me too. I’ll meet you at Leo’s Diner, you know that one?

>No, but I can Google it. See you tomorrow at 11.

Bashir arrived right on time at eleven the next morning. He was a large troll, dark blue in color, with large, off-white tusks jutting out from the sides of his mouth and his long red hair braided in several placed and pulled back at the nape of his neck. He was muscular, thick in the waist, and around nine feet tall. He wore a suit, which was finely tailored to his body. You raised your eyebrows: his profile was sparse, so you didn’t know what kind of job he did; you’d only chosen him because of his picture. But dressed like that, you were surprised he even agreed to take this “job.”

“Hi, you��re the one I’m supposed to meet today, right?” He said, extending his hand.

“Yes,” You replied, standing and shaking his hand. Your hand was dwarfed in his. “Thanks for agreeing.”

“It’s no trouble,” He said, gesturing for you to sit back down as he took a seat opposite you. “So tell me about this boyfriend of yours.”

“Ex-boyfriend,” You said. “His name is Jake. I met him at work; we worked in the same department. He seemed nice, so when he asked me out, I didn’t think anything of saying yes. The first two months was fine, and were got along really well. As soon as we decided to be exclusive, he got really clingy really quickly. Every time I’d try to pull away, he’d clutch at me tighter. He started pressuring me to put distance between me and my friends, he wanted to know where I was all the time, he was constantly texting and calling and got mad when I didn’t respond right away. I got sick of it and broke up with him.”

“When did the stalking start?”

“Almost immediately. It didn’t help that we still worked in the same department, so I had to see him every day. He’d show up at my house after work and on the weekend. He’d either be super angry and demand that I let him in, or he’d be there with flowers and candy and cry and tell me that I was the best thing that ever happened to him, that he was sorry and he’d do better. He kicked my door in a couple of times and I had to call the police. I finally managed to get a restraining order against him, but it didn’t really help. He couldn’t come within five hundred feet, so he would stand on the curb exactly five hundred feet from my house and just watch the house. I was scared for my life. So I quit my job and moved across the state with just my savings. I found a job and I started last week. And yesterday, they said I had a new client, and it was him.”

“What did you do?”

“I freaked out and called security, telling them I had a restraining order against him. He mistakenly thinks the restraining order is void because I moved, but I called and that’s not the case at all.” You sighed in aggravation. “I really hope this asshole doesn’t get me fired.”

“Hmm,” He said. “So what’s your offer?”

“Hmm?” You asked.

“You said you’d pay. What’s your offer?”

“Oh,” You said, surprised. “Uh, fifty bucks per date, plus the date expenses. I can’t really afford more than that.”

“That sounds fair. Okay,” He said. “I’ll do it. You just tell me when and where and I’ll be there.”

“Really?” You replied. “You’ll take the job?”

“Sure,” He said. “I’ve got some free time, and the extra money will be nice. I could buy a new suit in a month.” He grinned and plucked at his own, no doubt worth several months of dates.

“That’s great, thank you,” You said, sighing in relief. “So, Friday night? Around six o’clock? Would that work?”

“Absolutely,” He said, pulling out his phone. “Give me your phone number. I’ll add it to my contacts. That way, if you see him, you can call or text and I can head over and do the arm ripping thing.”

You laughed and took out your phone.

After exchanging information, the two of you had lunch and discussed the finer points of the job. PDAs were acceptable, but you’d prefer if he didn’t kiss you. He had a nine-to-five job, just like you, but his position was flexible and let him leave the office for errands, as long as he didn’t abuse the privilege. You left the lunch feeling a little safer.

Friday night, you met him at a nice Greek restaurant, and he wore another nice bespoke suit. He offered to pick you up at your home, but you didn’t really want him to know where you lived. You were still pretty paranoid about Jake finding out.

“I’m surprised you chose this place, considering you’re footing the bill and everything,” Bashir said, looking around. “It’s pretty fancy.”

“It has to look believable,” You reasoned. “And I do like Greek food. If you like, you can pick the place next time.”

He chuckled. “Have you ever had Mediterranean troll food?”

“No, I haven’t,” You said, interested. “What’s it like?”

“It’s very similar, except there’s no bread of any kind.”

“So what do you eat the hummus on?”

“You drink it like sauce.”

“You’re not supposed to drink sauce!” You protested.

He snickered.

“I feel like you’re making this up.”

“Maybe, but you’ve never met any Mediterranean trolls, so you don’t know.”

“Are you a Mediterranean troll?”

“I am, actually,” He said. “My parents came over from Morocco when I was a tot. I don’t remember much about Morocco, but I’ve always dreamed of going on a trip there, I’ve just never had the chance.” He gave a cursory look over the menu. “Maybe that’s what I’ll use this money for.”

“Sounds nice to me,” You said. “If we both get something good out of this, then that’s a plus.”

“What do you get out of this, other than getting rid of a bothersome ex?”

“Security and peace of mind,” You said, picking up your own menu. “That’s worth the price.”

He looked at you seriously. “This guy really shook you up, didn’t he?”

You set the menu back down and sighed. “He’s never hit me or threatened me verbally. The most he’s ever done is break my door, but…” You looked out of the window. “I feel like… it wouldn’t be hard, you know? It wouldn’t be that much of a leap from breaking my door in to doing something worse. If he gets mad enough, if he gets obsessed enough, who knows what he could do. All I know is that I don’t want to find out.”

“I understand,” He said. “I’ve never had to deal with something like that, because… well, look at me…” He gestured at his massive body. “But I do know people who have, and it sounds terrifying. I’m glad I can help, even if I am getting paid to do it.”

You smiled. “Well, it helps that you’re good company.”

“You don’t have to flirt with me, you know,” He teased. “That’s not part of the deal.”

“I will throat-punch you,” You said with a grin, and he laughed.

The next date was the following Saturday, and he chose to go to a concert. He wore a black v-neck shirt and a pair of black slacks, which was as dressed down as you’d seen him, but still very business-casual. It was a showcase of up-and-coming local bands, and they were all pretty good. You didn’t know that he liked Djent and progressive metal, too, but you were happy to have a common interest.

In truth, Bashir was pleasant to be around, and you were relieved that this entire thing wasn’t as awkward as it could have been. It definitely helped make this “dating” business look real from an outsider perspective. He held up his end of the bargain really well over the next dozen dates, holding your hand and putting an arm around you as if it was perfectly normal to do so. Thankfully, it didn’t make you feel uncomfortable when he did it, as he was very warm and the height difference meant he couldn’t be too cuddly naturally. You hoped that if Jake was watching, he believed you’d moved on and had no thoughts for him.

Unfortunately, if he was watching, he didn’t take the hint.

One night, as you were turning off lights and getting ready for bed, you looked out of your bedroom window and there he was, standing on the curb across the street, Jake stood in the shadow of a tree, vaping, and looking toward your house.

Panicked, you didn’t your best to stay calm while you were at the window, not wanting him to know you had seen him, but as soon as you walked away, you turned off the bedroom lights, snatched up your phone, dashed downstairs, and frantically checked the windows and doors, making sure they were all locked.

You meant to call the police, but instead, you dialed Bashir’s number. He answered immediately.

“What’s up?” He asked, sounding caught off guard. You weren’t surprised, you never called or texted him unless it was about the next “date.”

“Jake’s outside,” You whispered. “He’s across the street, I’m looking at him right now from my living room window.”

“Are you sure it’s him?”

“I’d recognize that stupid snakeskin vape box anywhere,” You said.

“Okay,” He said. “I’m heading over. Stay on the phone with me until I get there. Do you have a landline?”

“Yeah,” You replied.

“Get it and call the police. Don’t tell them he’s stalking you because, well frankly, they won’t care. Say you’re a concerned member of the neighborhood and there’s a suspicious man hanging around outside and you’re worried about a break in.”

It wouldn’t have been a lie. “Okay,” You said, picking up your cordless phone.

After calling the police, you waited with your heart in your throat, listening to Bashir get into his car and drive. He’d heard you tell the operator your address. He arrived before the police did, his vehicle a nondescript SUV, and he got out wearing sweat pants and a tank top and pulled a duffel bag from his passenger seat. He didn’t acknowledge Jake at all, simply walked up to your door and knocked. You went to open the door for him.

“Hug me and kiss my cheek,” He said in a low undertone. Gulping, you did as he said with him turning so that your display of affection was clearly visible to anyone watching from the street. You let him in and closed the door behind him, locking it.

“What now?”

“Let’s turn on the lights and make some coffee while we wait for the police,” He said.

“Okay,” You said, your voice shaking. You went to go into the kitchen but he stopped you by taking your hand.

“Hey,” He said gently. “You’re going to be okay. I’m here, and the police are coming. You’re safe.”

Tears came to your eyes and you nodded, wiping them. He released you and you went to the kitchen, putting a pot of coffee on.

The police arrived. You and Bashir watched covertly from the breakfast nook. Eventually, Jake walked to a car and got in it, driving away. The police followed him.

“They let him go?” You asked, worried.

“Well, they may not have know he has a restraining order, and even if they did, he looked plenty far away enough to not have violated it. He wasn’t breaking any laws other than loitering, so they couldn’t arrest him. At least they made sure he left.”

You held your head in your hands. “God, I don’t want to have to do all this over again.”

“It’s okay,” He said. “I’ll stay the night to make sure he doesn’t come back tonight.”

“What about tomorrow? Or the next day? You can’t be here all the time,” You said, your voice shaking.

He sighed heavily. “Do you know how to use a gun?”

You scoffed in disgust. “I don’t want a fucking gun.”

“Okay,” He said. “Then, I’ll put up a security system. I brought one with me; it’s in my bag. I’ll set it up tonight while he’s not here.”

“It’s late,” You said weakly.

“Do you want to sleep or do you want peace of mind?” He asked you levelly.

You scrubbed your face, took a deep breath, drained your coffee cup, and stood up. “Okay. Let’s do it, then.”

It took a few hours, but he managed to get several security cameras fixed to the building, focused on entryways and the front and back yards. You helped him by holding the equipment and tools for him as he worked, handing up what he needed as he needed it. By the time the two of you were done, it was three a.m. and you both had to be at work in mere hours.

The two of you fell into an exhausted sleep on your bed. You didn’t even have the energy to be affronted by the fact that you were sharing a bed with him. The next morning, before he left to go home and get ready for work, he downloaded the security camera app onto your phone and showed you how to use it.

You went to work, checking your phone surreptitiously to see if Jake was outside of your house. So far, he hadn’t reappeared.

>Today’s Friday, You texted him. >I know you’re probably tired after last night, but do you want to have a date today?

>What about a home date at my house? He replied. >I’ll cook dinner and everything. I don’t want you to be at your house at the moment.

>I can’t argue with that, You said in return. >Sounds good to me. What are you cooking?

>I was thinking a kefta meatball tagine with couscous on the side, and a snake pastry for dessert.

>That sounds amazing. Thanks for putting me up. I know this all is a huge inconvenience, and I really appreciate it.

>It’s no problem,” He said. >It’s what I’m getting paid for, right?

You sighed. Well, this wasn’t exactly what he was getting paid for. How much would an overnight stay cost you?

He sent you a message with his address and you went home after work to shower and pack a small overnight bag. You snickered, pulling out your pretty underwear and a sexy negligee, wondering if you should pack this, too, before putting it away and just throwing some pajamas in your bag.

Checking the cameras before stepping outside, you left the house and hurried to your car, heading to Bashir’s house. His place was a two-story, bungalow style house with a dark brown cliffstone brick pattern and a detached garage. It was charming, and a lot cuter than your tiny yellow ranch-style house. The yard was well kept and three were full flowerbeds next to the wide porch. You wouldn’t have imagined he lived in a place like this.

You knocked on the door and he answered it quickly, wearing a comfortable t-shirt and pair of tight jeans. You tried not to stare, but it was difficult. His clothes left very little to the imagination. His hair was also down and cascaded down his back and shoulders.

“Come in, come in,” He said, taking your bag for you.

“Thanks,” You said. “Your house is really pretty.”

“Oh, thanks!” He said. “It was actually condemned when I bought it. I basically had to rebuild it from the ground up. I’m not quite finished with it yet, but I’m happy with the progress.”

“You should be, it’s amazing,” You said. “I’d never have guessed it was a fixer-upper.”

He grinned at you, showing off his sharp teeth. “Come on, dinner will be ready soon.”

“It smells great,” You said, inhaling the savory smell of lamb and vegetables.

“All my mom’s recipes,” He replied, heading into the kitchen. “She owns a restaurant three towns over.”

“I’ll have to go and visit it sometime,” You said.

“Maybe I’ll take you myself one day,” He said, smiling as he stirred the couscous. Your heart fluttered a little.

How long were you going to have to keep this up? “Dating” Bashir was fun, but it wasn’t going to last forever. Either Jake would give up or get arrested, so either way, it would be over. Maybe you could stay friends. He was nice enough, and you enjoyed hanging out with him. But still… why was he talking about things that might happen in the future if there was no future for the two of you?

Dinner was delicious, and so was dessert, and afterward the two of you went to the living room to watch a movie. He even put his arm around you, since the window was uncovered and anyone could look in, he said, and you felt comfortable enough to relax into his side. It almost did feel like a real home date.

After the movie, though, you both decided to sleep, since you were still tired from the night before. You decided that you were both adults and could share a bed without it being awkward, and besides, his bed was huge and could fit five of you easily. You both fell asleep almost immediately.

Sometime during the night, you got a ping from the motion detector on your phone, but when you checked the security system, it was just a raccoon in your trashcan. You sighed and put your phone down, rolling over.

Bashir was on his back, asleep, with his face turned toward you. He was breathing deeply and relaxed with one hand on his chest and the other on his stomach.

You couldn’t help but stare. He really was an attractive guy, and if circumstances had been different, you might have dated him for real. But… until Jake left you alone, you didn’t want to drag anyone else into it. Bashir didn’t have any emotional connection to you, so Jake couldn’t affect whatever “relationship” you had.

But maybe things could be different after? You weren’t sure. He hadn’t expressed any interest in you other than what he had to to make the job believable. He hadn’t been flirty or more affectionate than he needed to be. You couldn’t afford to develop feelings for Bashir, not right now.

Even still, you brushed your fingers gently against the skin of his arm, feeling the hairs that covered it, and followed the curve up to his hand, allowing yours to rest on top of his for a moment or two before retracting it and trying to fall asleep again, sighing heavily.

The next morning, Bashir recommended that the two of you spend the day together, to keep up the weekend stay appearance.

“How much is this ‘weekend getaway’ going to cost me?” You asked dubiously.

He laughed. “Don’t worry, today’s a freebie, since I suggested it. You still have to pay for last night, though. The normal fifty bucks is fine.”

“Mm-hmm,” You hummed flatly, fishing the money out of your wallet and handing it to him. “Well, what do you want to do?”

“Ah, it’s a freebie day, right? You get to choose this time.”

You smiled. “Well, let’s start with breakfast. I’ll cook it. I can cook breakfast blindfolded.”

“If you like,” He said, sitting at the bar in the kitchen and watching you putter around, looking for cooking tools.

After breakfast, you decided you wanted to go to the local botanical garden, which you hadn’t been to in some time.

“Your flowerbeds outside reminded me of this place,” You told him, walking slowly through the rows of Japanese maples. There was a beautiful and an extremely rare Chinese Red Maple behind a gate at the end of the row, the centerpiece of the garden. “Did you plant them yourself?”

“Yep,” He said with a smile. “I helped my dad do a lot of gardening when he was still alive. He had a landscaping business, but he was really passionate about it. I actually inherited the business. Gardening helps me keep his memory alive.”

“That’s really sweet,” You said, smiling softly. “Is that what you do for a living, the landscaping job? I’ve never actually asked what you do for work.”

“No, actually. I mean, I own the company, but I don’t work for it. My actual job is something else entirely.”

“What is it?”

He laughed. “Honestly, I don’t think you’d believe me.” Before you could ask, he took you by the hand and said, “Let’s take a break and get a coffee. I have to use the bathroom.”

“Okay,” You said, letting the subject drop. For now.

You got to the food court outside of the botanical gardens and sat down at the outdoor cafe.

“I’m going to the bathroom,” He said, putting some money down on the table. “Can you order me a large black coffee?”

“Yeah, sure,” You said. He smiled and headed off. You got up and put in your order, then sat back down at the table and opened the security app, looking through the cameras and checked to see if anything was out of place.

The chair opposite to you was pulled out and he sat back down while you were still looking at your phone.

“The coffee should be out soon,” You said.

“I didn’t order coffee,” A voice said. It wasn’t Bashir.

You jerked your head up and saw Jake sitting across from you. You stood up so fast that you knocked the chair over.

“Get away from me, Jake,” You said.

“Look, just talk to me,” He said, standing up and advancing on you. “Why won’t you just talk to me?”

“Get away from me!” You shouted. “Bashir!”

“Are you calling for that monster?” He sneered. “You could do so much better than him. Besides, you’re not even really dating him, you’re just paying him to keep you company, you slut. You think I wouldn’t figure that out?”

“Fuck you!” You back up. “Bashir!”

Jake was snatched back and slammed down onto the cafe table. Bashir had him pinned down with a single hand. It wasn’t hard to do: Bashir was almost twice the size of Jake in height and weight.

“Let me go!” Jake said, struggling against Bashir’s iron grip. “I’ll have you arrested! My brother’s a cop!”

“Ah, that explains how you got her address so quick,” Bashir said. “I don’t really care if your brother’s a cop. Actually, I think I do, I think an internal affairs investigation is warranted. Regardless, you’ve just violated a restraining order.”

“What does it matter to you?”

Bashir snorted. “I’m FBI, dickless.”

You gaped at him.

“Bullshit!” Jake said. “I’ll fucking sue you! I’ll ruin your fucking life!”

“Whatever you want, you’re still under arrest,” Bashir said, pulling out a set of handcuffs from an inside pocket of his jacket.

“You’re kidding,” You said slowly, staring at Bashir.

“I told you you probably wouldn’t believe me,” He said, grinning at you sheepishly. He jerked his head at his jacket. “My ID is in my pocket.”

You reached in and fished it out, opening the leather fold to reveal a… rather official looking ID and badge.

You laughed in disbelief. “You’re right, I wouldn’t have.”

The police arrived to detain Jake and took him to the station. Bashir drove you to the station, as well, so that you could make a statement.

Later, Bashir drove you back to your house.

“I’ll bring your bag over later,” He said. “He’ll probably get ninety days in jail for violating the restraining order, and hopefully you won’t have to deal with him anymore. Although, if you hear from him again once he gets out, let me know, and I’ll be here.”

“Thanks,” You said. “Really, thank you for everything.”

He reached into his pocket and pulled out an envelope. “Here,” He said, handing it to you. Inside was all the money you had given him for the dates, plus some. There had to have been almost two thousand dollars in there.

“But this is…”

He laughed. “I’m a federal official, you know. I can’t take bribes. I’d get fired.”

“This wasn’t…” You started, but stopped yourself. This could absolutely be seen as a bribe. “What do I do with all this?”

He shrugged. “Whatever you like. Go on a trip. Buy something nice. It’s your money, after all.”

You sighed a little sadly. “I guess this is it, then.”

He sighed, too. “Yeah, I guess so.” He leaned forward, bent down, and kissed you on the cheek. “Take care of yourself.”

Jake did end up getting three months in jail, which made you feel a lot better. You were worried that he would come after you, but the three months passed and when he was released, he moved clear across the country and you never heard from him again.

Finally free of him, you thought you might try actually dating again, but you could only think of Bashir. You and he had only spoken a few times, mostly him checking on you, but you hadn’t seen each other since Jake’s arrest. You missed him, but you couldn’t tell him that. He didn’t have any feelings for you, anyway. If he did, wouldn’t he have asked you out after Jake was out of the picture?

Even still, you wanted to see him again. So once Jake was gone, you texted Bashir.

>I have something for you, You told him.

>Oh? What’s that?

>I want to give it to you in person. Would it be okay to come over this weekend?

>I’m free now. Why don’t you stop by?

>Okay. I’ll be there soon.

Before leaving, you hesitated and decided to throw on your best, sexiest underwear. Just in case.

You arrived at his house to find him out in the front yard. He was digging a hole in the yard with a sapling sitting in a bucket, ready for planting. There were also stones and gravel he was going to use for a decorative barrier. He stood up and waved as you drove up into the driveway.

“Hey!” He said, pulling you into a hug. Well, as well as he could, being so tall. “It’s good to see you!”

“You too!” You said. “What kind of tree is that?”

“A Chinese Maple,” He said. “I got inspired when we went to the botanical gardens that time. It cost a pretty penny and I had to wait for the cutting to grow, but it’s finally ready to plant.”

“That’s so cool,” You said. “Can I help?”

“Really?” He said, grinning. “Yeah, sure! There’s a pair of gloves over there on the porch. They might be a little big, but it’s better than blisters.”

You ran to retrieve them, and picked up a trowel. “Why did you decide on the maple?”

“Cause it reminds me of you,” He said, digging. “When I look out my window every day and see it, I’ll think of you.”

Your heart beat faster, but you couldn’t look at him.

It only took about an hour to dig out the hole, plant the sapling, fill the hole with soil, lay the stones, and spread the gravel. Thankfully it was a cool day and you didn’t sweat too much. The two of you caught up on what had happened in the three months since you’d seen each other. You wanted to ask if he had started dating, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it.

“It looks great,” He said, standing back and grinning. “Thanks for your help! We got it done in record time. Let’s get cleaned up and have a drink.”

“Okay,” You said. “Let me grab my purse from the car.”

“Oh, right, you had something to give me, right?”

“Yep,” You told him, grabbing your bag.

He laughed. “Sorry I side-tracked you.”

“It’s fine, I had a good time,” You said. He opened the door for you and let you go into the house before him.

You went to the bathroom to freshen up and when you looked down, you realized your toothbrush was in the holder, the one you had forgotten when you’d stayed over. You had bought a new one and figured he’d just throw it away when he found it. Why had he kept it? Why was it in the holder with his?

You went back out into the kitchen and found him shirtless, water beading down the muscles of his back, and you stopped in the doorway, staring.

“Oh, sorry,” He said, laughing and throwing on a clean shirt. “Needed a quick wash. I felt a little grimy after the yardwork.”

“It’s okay,” You said, your heart still hammering in your chest.

“Iced tea?”

“Yeah, sure,” You replied, sitting at the bar. He poured you a drink and sat at the bar opposite you.

“So, what was the thing you had for me.”

You swallowed your tea a bit too hard and reached into your purse, handing him an envelope.

“This isn’t the money, is it?” He asked, smiling.

“No, it’s not money,” You said. “Open it.”

He grinned playfully at you, but it slipped from his face when he looked inside the envelope, pulling out two plane tickets.

“Morocco?” He asked, looking up at you in surprise.

You nodded. “Those are good for a year, so make sure you get some vacation time soon,” You said, anxious.

He stared at them. “There are two.”

“Yes,” You replied. “In case you wanted to take your mom. Or maybe a girlfriend or boyfriend or something.”

You kept your face as neutral as possible, but he was staring at you.

“The extra ticket is for you, isn’t it?” He asked softly.

You looked down and away. “If you don’t want me to go, that’s okay. You can take whoever you like. I just wanted you to have the trip you always dreamed of.”

He got up out of his chair, came around, and got down on his knees, so that he was face to face with you. He leaned forward and kissed you. It was firm and testing, and you responded, throwing your arms around his neck. He wrapped his arms around you as well.

“I missed you,” He murmured against your lips.

“Why didn’t you ask me out?” You asked him, pulling back to look at his face.

“I thought you weren’t interested in a real relationship,” He said, pulling you against him. “If I had any inclination you did, I would have asked you out on the spot.”

“I thought the same thing,” You said. “I never expected you’d actually like me.”

“I do,” He said, kissing you again and standing up. “I like you very, very much.”

He walked you into his room and lay you down on his bed, stripping your clothes off your body.

“Pretty,” He said with a grin as he came across your lacy black underwear. “Did you wear this for me?”

You bit your lip and nodded.

“Well, it would be a shame to take it off so soon, then, wouldn’t it?” He said, palming your breasts over the fabric of your bra. He touched your slit over your underwear, and you gasped. You lifted your leg and rubbed him through his pants, and he grunted. You felt him harden under your touch. He was… uh… large.

You pulled off his shirt and ran your nails down his chest. He moved his hand away and pressed himself against you, still clothed, grinding himself into your clit, and you moaned. You reached for his belt and unbuckled it, unbuttoning it, and pushed his pants down with your toes. Because of his long tusks, he couldn’t bend down to kiss you in this position, so he picked you up as if you were a doll, kissing your body. You were always a little self conscious about your weight, being a big girl, but he seemed not to notice.

He lifted you all the way up to his face, kneeling down so that you weren’t so high up, and licked the cloth covering your slit, putting your legs over his shoulders and his tusks under your body. Using just his tongue, he moved your underwear out of the way and teased your clit. His tongue was long and thick. You whimpered and rocked your hips against his tongue. He pushed it in side of you and thrust it back and forth, and you writhed in his grip.

Carefully, he pulled you down and eased you into his lap, pressing himself against your entrance. You pressed your hands against his stomach and watched him disappear slowly inside you. He couldn’t go all the way in, but once he reached the back and knew where the limit was, he pulled back out slowly and thrust in again slowly, easing you into it. He must have had a similar size problem in the past and had learned how to overcome it in these situations. You were glad for it.

He lay you on the edge of the bed and pressed your knees back, thrusting a little faster, and you reached down and touched yourself, rubbing quickly as he sped up. He pulled the cups of your bra down so that he could grasp your breasts, squeezing gently, and grunted. You held his hand there with your own, pulling up your head and sucking on his pointer finger, looking up at him through your lashes. His breathing was erratic and he watched you hungrily, his sharp teeth biting into his lower lip and pricking the skin.

“I’m so close,” You moaned. “I’m going to cum.”

He nodded as if in agreement, squeezing his eyes shut. He grimaced as if in pain, but then shouted, roaring, and released inside of you. It was a torrent, spraying out of you. Another few hip thrusts and circles around your clit, you came too, your head thrown back against the bed, crying out.

He pulled out and turned his head, resting it against your stomach as his arms gripped your sides, breathing hard. After a moment, you both sat up, and you realized that his legs were covered with his own release.

“Wanna get cleaned up?” You asked him.

“Yeah,” He said dreamily, standing up and leading you into the bathroom. You took a shower together, helping him clean himself. He did the same for you, kneeling down and washing your body. The way he knelt in front of you combine with the way he looked at you, it almost felt like he was worshiping you. Honestly, you didn’t mind that at all.

Your underwear would have to be washed, but he said you could borrow one of his shirts, if you wanted to. Honestly, you were happy to lounge in his bed naked. He seemed happy with that, too.

“When would you like to go?” You asked him, laying on his chest and playing with his chest hair. “To Morocco, I mean?”

“Soon,” He said, entwining his fingers in your hair. “I’ll put in for vacation time as soon as I get back to the office. I don’t really take vacations, so I’m sure my colleagues will be surprised.”

You smiled and kissed his skin. “I’ll have to put in for time off, too,” You said. “Although, I only just started working there six months ago, so they may not approve it.”

“Let me know when they do and I’ll schedule for the same time,” He said.

“Sounds good to me,” He said, sitting up and crossing his legs, looking down at you. You posed a little for him and he grinned, running his hands up and down the soft skin of your torso and belly. “You know what I’d like to do right now, though?”

“What’s that?” You asked.

“I want to take you on a date,” He said, smiling softly. “A real one. I'll pay and everything. And I want to be able to kiss you.”

You smiled back at him. “Deal.”

Since my work is no longer searchable, please do me a favor and reblog this story if you enjoyed it. Help me reach a wider audience! To help me continue creating, please consider becoming a Patron or donating directly to my PayPal!

Thanks for reading!

My Masterlist

The Exophilia Creator’s Masterlist

#Exophilia #Monster Boyfriend #Troll #WoW Troll #World of Warcraft Troll

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nekoannie-chan · 3 years ago

Text

As long as you’re mine

Pairing: Steve Rogers X Mutant!Reader.

Word count: 918 words.

Summary: You and Steve decided not to sign the Accords, and so you experienced new feelings you had never had.

Warnings: Few angst but happy ending.

A/N: This is my entry to @pagesoflauren‘s I love y’all 3000 Challenge with the song:

“As long as you’re mine” by Idina Menzel and Norbert Leo Butz from Wicked

@saiyanprincessswanie

My native language is Spanish so I wanna improve my writing skills in English if you notice any mistake, please let me know and I will correct it.

I don’t give any kind of permission that my fics be posted in other platforms or languages (I translate myself my work) or the use of my graphics (my dividers are included in this), I did them exclusively for my fics, please respect my work and don't steal it. There are some people here who make dividers that anyone can use, mine is not this type, please look for the other's people. The only exception is the ones I gifted 'cuz now belong to someone else. If you find any of my works on a different platform and is not one of my accounts, please let me know. Reblogs and comments are always welcome.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Marvel's characters (unfortunately), except for the original characters and the story.

My other media where I publish: Wattpad, Ao3, ffnet.

If you like it, please vote, comment, and give me feedback to improve my skills and reblog.

Tags: @sinceimetyou @navybrat817 @angrythingstarlight @shield-agent78 @charmed-asylum @pandaxnienke @real-fbi @smokeandnailz @white-wolf1940 @tenaciousperfectionunknown @xoxonotme @bluemusickid @leyannrae @harrysthiccthighss @marvelatthisone @Anacindadouble

You laughed as you closed the last suitcase, things weren't supposed to have been like this, you always believed that the creation of the New Warriors and Thunderbolts teams on Ross' orders was a bad idea and you weren't wrong.

Not to mention that you never felt like you belonged to the Avengers especially when Stark made his stupid jokes about mutants, however, you and Steve were an excellent team, the best team indeed.

No one would realize until it was too late that your stuff and Steve's were gone, you would run as far as you could. You contacted other mutants from the first time you heard of the Accords, they were in a place that few people knew and wasn’t listed in the Accords, so it would be a safe place for you, plus unlike Krakoa it didn't matter if the person who came and wanted to live there was a mutant or not.

You remembered the beautiful sunsets that were in that place; you lived there for a few years of your childhood and you always found it particularly beautiful, it was like entering a paradise. Very rarely did you see someone being rejected by the same place, although that was because it wasn’t a good person who had been rejected. Therefore, even if they went to look for them there (although you doubted that they could somehow find them) the place simply would not allow them to access, so it was a one hundred per cent safe place for you and those who wanted to accompany you to flee the Accords.

You should not even be in that place, but it was easy to confuse others with your powers, no one would notice that they returned for their belongings, nor would they appear in the video that the security cameras recorded what happened in some Compound’s areas.

Steve entered the room and saw you, the time was numbered, you couldn’t and shouldn’t take so long, you didn’t want any suspicion, apart from the fact that you still had to go to other places before disappearing completely, or at least that someone could find you.

"Doll, we must to...-

“... Hurry up, I know, this is the last suitcase, if you want to get sentimental and say goodbye to this place ahead, I already want to leave” you interrupted it.

"Yes, but I never believed that things would end this way," he said sadly, you hugged him.

"I know, I know there are many stories here, I know what this place came to mean to you, what others mean to you, but we cannot make them change their minds, nor do they know what it is to be persecuted by the Sentinels or to fear or believe that you have no right to exist because you are different.

"You're right, if they don't understand us and they don't care about us, they don't have to care about us, it's time to leave, others are waiting for us.” You took his hand, you had to be quiet, you wanted to avoid extra steps and expend more energy and strength than necessary.

Your heartbeat fast during the journey, it wasn’t easy, you had to take care of those who could discover you, especially because you knew that you were now considered a criminal and everyone was looking for you to get the reward.

You smiled when you saw your mates who were already waiting for you, although they weren’t all, however, you also understood the reasons of those who had decided to surrender.

But you were tired of following all the rules, of doing what everyone expected and that no one recognized everything you did.

You sighed when you arrived at that place, at last, you had achieved it, you were already safe, there they were free, you wouldn’t have the same obligations or responsibilities as in the past, but you could start a new life, do what you always wanted.

You showed everyone what your new home would be, it hadn't changed at all since you left, everything remained the same.

You saw Steve folded his arms, he didn't seem entirely happy, you walked over and hugged him.

“Are you okay?” you asked.

"As long as we are together everything will be fine,” he replied.” Do you think we are doing the right thing?"

“We are doing what is best for us, what goes according to our ideals.”

“All I know is that we will be together forever and as long as we are like this, we will overcome any adversity.”

"You know Stevie, after all this I think it's happened, I finally feel like people say we're the mutants," you said all of a sudden.

“Y/N, don't say that doll, you are none of that, don't believe what they say, if only they knew you and knew how they are...”

“No, I don't mean that, let me talk, I mean for the first time in my life... I feel... wicked," you continued as you smiled. “Oh, come on Steve! Don't see me like that, we always follow the rules and what they wanted us to do and behave, for the first time we are free.”

"And we can have the life we always dreamed of,” Steve concluded.

"And we can have the life we always dreamed of," you repeated as you held his hand, you began to walk towards the horizon to see the beautiful sunset that marked a new beginning in your lives.

#pagesoflauren3000challenge #pages of lauren 3000 challenge #pagesoflauren 3000 challenge #Steve Rogers #steve rogers one shot #steve rogers fic #steve rogers x reader

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rainytea · 3 years ago

Note

Hello! If it's not a bother and if requests are open can I please request an Elliot (from Pandora Hearts) headcanon in which he sees his s/o (if you do this kind of request of course!) Who slowly learn to stand up for themselves? Please don't do that if you aren't comfortable with it or just simply don't want to do it! I hope you have a great day/night 💕

Elliot with an Insecure S/O Headcanons

Rating: SFW

Tags/CW: Insecure reader, minor bullying.

Elliot is a major grump but proud man.

Is a really stubborn man, even Leo has a hard time controlling him.

He doesn’t like people who don’t hold the same amount of pride as him, but he is understanding and selfless.

So, when he met you sitting alone, he didn’t think much.

You were just one of many poor saps at this school that sat alone.

Leo, being the best of boys he is, was the one who dragged Elliot to go talk to you when you sat by yourself in the library.

“Would you mind if we sit here with you?” Leo politely said.

To be honest he didn’t even have to ask. You would have probably let them anyway.

At first, it was hella awkward.

Seriously, what were you supposed to say when a grump and his friend sat next to you?

Though a book you had next to you probably caught both of their attentions.

Leo always was the one to invite you to hang out with them.

Little did they know that you were a little ball of nerves that people kept harassing.

He was so confused and angry when he found out you get bullied.

Would always ask why you don’t stand up for yourself. When you didn’t have an answer he felt angrier.

Not because Elliot didn’t like you.

Though him, admitting that he has a crush? Lol yeah right

He totally did though. This boy ain’t slick.

If you dense af like me though, you probably didn’t catch on. Or maybe you thought he was just tolerating you.

He had to blurt out that he liked you and you deserve better than to be treated like trash!

Was an odd confession but how could you say no to the knight who had your heart

At least, that’s what Leo tells everyone.

Elliot would take care of them a couple of times but usually was frustrated that you would just let yourself be bullied like that.

Though once you start crying or apologizing he softens up to you and does his best to comfort you.

He kinda sucks at damage control though so good luck.

Looks like he’s gonna be sticking around you a lot more.

It's not like he had a problem with it. He got to be closer to his crush and help boost their spirits!

Sometimes he would pretend to be mean. Roleplay with him as the bully and you as well...you…

That was good until you recluded and he spent the next day trying to win your affection back.

Thankfully it usually worked.

In the meantime, he found himself sticking up for you.

Anyone who dared look at you with ugly eyes would be catching some hands. Or at least being threatened by Elliot.

Just when Elliot was about hopeless with you.

You surprised him by actually telling your bullies off!

It came out of nowhere but that didn’t matter.

Proud boyfriend moment~!

Doubt he was right there, but that didn’t stop him from patting you on the head once the bastards left.

Now if he can get you to continue doing that…

---

The library was relatively quiet. As it should be. The whispers of pages being flipped, or the hushed hums of students speaking to each other were the only noises that the pair could hear.

As it should be.

The back of the library brought a serenity that they both craved. Tucked away from the commotion from the rest of the giant room. A sea of bookshelves surrounded them as if they were in their little world.

A pair of iced-over blue eyes peered from the pages of a tattered red book. Only to return to the jungle of pages seconds later. Whatever was printed in the pages wasn’t his concern. Not when they sat so sweetly across to him.

Unlike the youngest Nightray, they were engulfed in the pages of a book. Enjoying whatever story that was spelled out before them. They looked so elegant…so peaceful. They were the perfect personal audience for the dust-coated book. They were the perfect spectacle for Elliot’s eyes.

“Ugh, they’re here.” A piss-poor whisper.

“Look, they’re reading again. That’s so lame.” A louder snicker.

Elliot would snap his eyes over at a group of students that were huddled behind a bookshelf, using gaps between the books to become the worst spies in human history. While they weren’t great spies, they were great pain in the asses. The group always tormented his crush. Spouting out whatever drama from their mouths to stir their emotions up. Normally, Elliot wouldn’t care. But he knew it hurt them.

He couldn’t count the times they shrank because of that group. How many times they would sulk down to take the group’s foul mouths. How many times have they allowed themselves to be treated worse than trash? What scum.

Even now, they couldn’t do anything but bury their face in their book.

“I’m sure Nightray only feels sorry for them. Even the dorky-looking one isn’t here.” One of the girls in charge snickered behind painted nails.

“I wouldn’t be caught dead with them. Elliot must be desperate for friends.”

His teeth gridded from the damn gossip they spewed out. How could a group be that cruel to someone so gentle? That was it. They needed to be taught a lesson. Even if words weren’t enough. Elliot pushed himself away from the wooden table and stomped towards them which made the group laugh more.

“Maybe if you spent more time in the library you’d learn to be quiet..or learn something in general.”

That didn’t come from the Nighray boy. It didn’t come from the absent ‘dorky’ one either. The group would peer at their victim who was peering from their book with a bored expression. They knew what they said. Though everyone else was shocked that they grew the guts to say it. A faulty poker face hiding behind the book they were reading.

“What did you say?!” The girl yelled, which caused other students to hush her. Giving her dirty looks for disrupting the serenity of the library. They were making quite the scene. Before the group could head towards them, a librarian cleared her voice asking if there was any problem. They would scoff and turn to leave the library.

He was dumbfounded. Months had gone by with Elliot trying to get them to say something to that group. To tell them off, only to be met with them protesting, saying that it was okay. The last thing he expected was his lover to retort against that group.

“I can’t believe I did that!” They hid their faces in their book as if they were trying to jump into the pages and disappear.

“That came off so mean! Maybe I should apologize!”

For once the beige-haired young man formed a smile on his face going back over back to their table. Before he sat down, his soft hand would pat their head to reassure them which made them turn red, and set the book down to look at his smile.

It was a good start.

#arieseongie #pandora hearts #elliot nightray #readerfic #reader insert #insecure reader

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teetlestansecond · 2 years ago

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i haven't been productive at all and even though nobody asked for this i'm thinking about my ocs and until i can be productive and work on my fic or my inbox we'll just be talking about my characters so!!

more oc headcanons !!

artemisia! 🛍️

she's the person in a group that will order the closest thing to chicken tenders on any menu, even at the fanciest restaurant.

lo-fi queen, if she isn't listening to her usual music she'll play one of her lo-fi playlists.

she's developed an intricate tagging system for her wardrobe so she knows what color, fabric, and style each item is.

she rarely wears sunglasses out, but when she does it's a very specific, hot pink pair that she claims makes her feel like barbie.

a firm believer in aliens and even firmer believer in making friends with different species. she was utterly devastated that the first aliens they encountered were so set on violence.

atari! 👾

if you let her choose your hangout activity, she will take you bowling.

believes beyond a shadow of a doubt that there's a queen song for any situation you can think of.

she set different ringtones for each of her contacts, even if it would have been easier to not do that.

instigates the stupidest fights ever between leo and donnie because watching them argue over the pronunciation of "gif" brings her more joy for the hour they go at it than she gets in the rest of her week.

she could live in a thrift store, she loves them so much.

as a firm believer in the medic leo headcanon, i know she gives leo all her notes and textbooks from her nursing classes.

rhys! 🛼

believes in his heart that going to get korean barbecue is one of the most luxurious things you can do.

he's a chronic movie hopper and he's good at it, he'll pay for one movie and end up watching three.

could not keep a surprise secret if he wanted to. genuine secrets aren't a problem but he gets so excited about surprises that he'll end up giving it away accidentally.

he's a dancer at heart, but he's also a talented drummer and considers sheila e. his idol.

fashion king, can and will put together the most iconic looks you have ever seen in your life.

talise! 🔮

they have a massive collection of journals and almost none of them have been used. the ones that have are nowhere near being filled, aside from the ones they're using as their grimoire.

they always carry a piece of selenite in their purse, they're not going anywhere without it.

they have seen every 90s sitcom and will force others to rewatch their favorite episodes as a bonding activity.

secretly an even bigger comic nerd than the boys, but they almost exclusively read superhero comics.

they love a good slasher movie or thriller, but won't watch outright horror movies.

vinny! 🧪

she has a cloaking device disguised as a scrunchie and a false identity, both of which she used to obtain a driver's license and a car. sometimes when she's not having a good time she goes on night drives and finds the most obscure little places to distract herself.

she will force someone to sit in the kitchen with her whenever she cooks so she can pretend she's on a cooking show.

she watches old cartoons more than she watches anything else and will physically fight people who give her a hard time about it.

a little bit obsessed with architecture and interior design and rants often about her dislike for postmodern design.

she has never been able to pick a favorite color, but gives everyone different answers to confuse them.

#zennie's ocs #rottmnt oc #rise of the tmnt #rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #save rottmnt #unpause rottmnt

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ironmandeficiency · 4 years ago

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I saw y'all discussing potential zodiac signs for Pascal's characters, what's your take on the major ones? I personally believe Marcus Pike is a cancer, Catfish's a pisces, Din's a virgo, Whiskey's an aries, Oberyn's either a leo or a libra, Ezra's a gemini or a sag, but I lean towards gemini. Javier's the poster child for Scorpio. Don't know about Maxwell Lord.

pedro character star signs

i’m so sorry it took so long, i was tweaking this so much bc i wanted to make sure i got it right! these are just what i think based on my astrology opinions, i hope you like it! 💕 i added their moon signs for flair bc i can. gonna tag a few friends i think may be interested, hope it’s not an inconvenience

max phillips: aries sun & moon. his ambition and charisma paired with the carefree attitude and optimism are an optimum fire sign duality and despite the fact i shouldn't, i love it so much. he has an inner child that he spoils with the riches of his conquests (good and bad) & gets emotional contentment when he succeeds in achieving his goals. knows what he wants & is quick to make those wants known. you never have to worry about where you stand with him because he will not hesitate to tell you.

javier peña: taurus sun with scorpio moon (the real guy is a taurus & i can see it but w heavy scorpio influence). he has his own structure and routine and will fight to the death to maintain it. very work oriented & does his best to rationalize his emotion-driven scorpio moon with his taurean logic, it's a tossup as to whether it works half the time. has a lot of emotional needs that aren't always met day to day & thats why he smokes and drinks and fucks. but don’t let anything make you doubt his love for you because the only thing stronger than his stubborn streak is his heart and its capacity to love you so damn much.

maxwell lord: libra sun with a sagittarius moon. the charisma? attractive and engaging af. oddly adept at chameleoning himself into whatever social group he's trying to vibe with. will draw eyes no matter what because so many people know him & if they don't already, they sure as hell want to. it takes him a while to learn to balance healthy relationships and his work life but when he does, you can visibly see how much healthier he is because of it. normally tends to his emotions in private but with help, he can start sharing a bit more. more optimistic than he sometimes should be but it could be worse

frankie morales: pisces sun with a cancer moon. his caring and sometimes cautious nature (with a twinge of homicidal tendencies) make him one that you don't just casually fuck with sexually or otherwise. catches feelings very easy & makes a lot of emotionally-driven decisions. these two water signs have a propensity towards codependence & defensiveness when hurt. is at his best when he feels loved and is supported by those he loves. emotions are always fluctuating and there’s some trouble with self-discipline (which is not the same as self-deprecation). because of this, he needs someone who can ground him

jack "whiskey" daniels: his swagger!! his charm!! his generosity!! the protectiveness over people he cares about!! this has the makings of a leo sun. this charismatic sun sign paired with his capricorn moon create a living example of the most balanced "work hard, play hard" you've ever seen. has a tendency to set high standards for himself and others & is a smidge more accepting when people fuck up, wanting to help them be better in the future. his emotions are often repressed in the name of responsibility but when he feels safe, he isn’t shy about them in the slightest. very confident in his skills & one of those that he’s the proudest of is his ability to cheer you up when you’re sad

din djarin: he is the most virgo virgo to ever virgo, a double whammy of it in both his sun & moon placements. very logical, disciplined, and tradition-oriented. knows how to bargain and budget, approaches problems with as little emotional attachment as he can (doesn't always work though), and is selfless af. needs something to keep him from being a worry wart bc otherwise he will spend every waking moment fretting over anything he can find. remarkably well-rounded & somehow the most emotionally stable

ezra: everything about this man radiates aquarius sun + gemini moon and you will never convinve me otherwise. he's just enough of an intellectual elitist (the big words and flowy shakespearian vocabulary) for it to border on unique and fun & annoying as fuck. every aquarian i've met has a quirk that sets them apart from everyone else & ezra's quirk (besides murder) is his vocabulary. it takes him a long time to learn to not talk over people on accident (sometimes he does on purpose just to be a bastard), but you can tell when he’s really trying to be conscious of it.

marcus moreno: now this man is what you call a pisces. a softie with a heart of gold that is constantly being underestimated, he has more power than most think. his silly and carefree nature detracts from the badassery he's capable of so it sometimes catches you off guard when he goes into Badass In Charge™️ mode but it’s there. his moon is also in pisces, which adds to his gentility and desire to be understood by his partner. this man just needs some love dammit, give it to him already!! his empathy makes him the Cool Dad™️ bc missy and literally any other kid get the vibe of “yeah this adult will actually listen to me and value my opinions”

dave: capricorn sun, aries moon. he thrives with people who can handle their own shit competency kink anyone? and doesn’t have patience with those who should know better. his standards are higher than a stoned giraffe, and is at his best in controlled environments. has a strong sense of self & a short list of people he would risk it all for. not as outwardly expressive but he does have a couple cues that you learn over time. also knows what he wants and is very meticulous in how he goes about getting it; there are very few places where he takes no for an answer. is a very good provider but don’t expect him to be mushy when you thank him for things he does for you.

oberyn martell: gemini sun & leo moon. he’s got more charisma than can fit in the ocean and sometimes it gets him into trouble. this man thrives on validation from loved ones. there is never a worry about not knowing what he’s feeling because oh boy is this man expressive. he’s a protector and a provider (and a gossip but don’t let him hear you say that). can and will cause a scene if there’s ample opportunity, he enjoys watching shit go down. will only interfere if it directly impacts him or someone he really cares about but otherwise will just pop the popcorn and pull up a seat. somehow has all the details of everything that ever happens but you learn to not question it.

pero tovar: scorpio sun (but specifically october scorpio) & aquarius moon. he’s highly rational when it comes to emotions but does have a temper. he’s observant af of his environment & the emotions of everyone around him, and chooses his actions carefully based on those. doesn’t confront his deeper emotions as often as he should bc it’s easier to default to Angy™️ and let the rest of the world come to their own assumptions. has no tolerance for lies and other bs, wants the truth and though it makes him seem power-hungry and manipulative, that’s not his intention. it’s just his way of looking for someone he can trust with the most intimate parts of him

marcus pike: this man? taurus sun, cancer moon. has a fear of abandonment that takes a while to quell but once it’s gone, he’s all in. he’s very empathetic and observant af, will know exactly what you need before you voice said need. will feel guilty for his baggage sometimes and the guilt will make him recluse for a short period until he’s reminded just how appreciated he is. does not play around when it comes to affection & is very eager to give and receive it whenever possible

my friends that i think might be interested: @scribbledghost @autumnleaves1991-blog @dyke--grayson @max--phillips @dindjarindiaries @pikemoreno @ohnopoe @pedropasscals @forever-rogue @engineeredfiction @bitchin-beskar

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futurebicon · 4 years ago

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Dusk Till Dawn

I was gonna post this later but I physically can not wait any longer.

Apologize in advance

CW- death, panic attack, screaming, crying, fighting, accidental slight domestic abuse, self-harm, depression, anxiety, mention of child abuse, food, suicide attempt, hospital, dissociation, grief, hurt, blood, overdose, surgery

Remus didn’t know what to do or how to help.

All he could do was hold Sirius as he kicked and screamed and cried and punched and gasped for air.

“I’m so sorry,” Remus whispered even though he knew his husband wasn’t processing what he was saying. “I’m so sorry.” Tears streamed down his face.

Remus didn’t know how much time had passed since they got the call.

Heart attack.

Overworked with physical activity.

Celeste had called them crying.

It was at least an hour later when Sirius collapsed against him, exhausted from the meltdown.

“It’s gonna be okay.” Remus kissed the top of his head.

“I can’t, Re. Please,” Sirius gasped out quietly. “I can’t.”

“Shh, I know. It’s gonna be okay.” Remus held him tighter.

“I don’t want. I don’t want to.” He sobbed.

Remus had nothing else to say until his phone rang.

“Hey, Logan.” He asked the call.

“Did Celeste tell you?” Logan’s voice was a broken sob.

“Yeah,”

“Okay, uh, is Sirius okay?” He asked.

“Not at all. Are you?”

“No.” He sobbed. “No.”

“Logan I’m so, so fucking sorry.”

Dumo had been a father to everyone on the team but it was different with Sirius and Logan. They had lived with him for years, had breakfast with him in the morning and dinner with him at night, watched TV together, talked to him about what was going on in their lives. He was truly their father.

Even more so for Sirius.

Sirius never understood what a father was supposed to be like until he met Dumo.

He knew they weren’t supposed to hit their kids but he didn’t know that they were supposed to love them.

Dumo was the first person to truly, truly care about him.

Yes, Regulus loved him and cared for him but that was different.

Sirius didn’t know what love was so he ran away from it. Not joining in on dinners, staying in his room, not speaking unless spoken to.

But Dumo never let him get too far. He didn’t push Sirius to join them or talk with him but he didn’t let him think he was alone.

Slowly Sirius stopped trying to escape it and instead started to welcome it.

It still took a while for him to truly open up, but Dumo was always there.

Dumo was always there.

He didn’t leave when Sirius would flinch away from his touch or fast movements or loud sounds.

He didn’t leave when he walked into Sirius’s room while the teenager was having a full-blown panic attack that left him paralyzed.

He didn’t leave when Sirius gave him a black eye because he was trying to wake him up from a nightmare.

He didn’t leave when he saw the bandages.

He never left.

Even when Sirius moved out he was still there.

Remus didn’t know who Sirius would call or what he would do without Dumo.

“Arthur’s gonna call us all in tomorrow and tell the rest of the team.” Logan pulled him back to reality.

“They don’t know?” “No, uh, Celeste only told me, you, and Arthur.”

“I’ll see how Sirius is but I doubt we’re going to be able to go” Remus looked down at Sirius, who had fallen asleep after exhausting himself.

“Yeah neither of us have to go. I still don’t know if I’m going to.”

“Let me know if you are.”

“I will,” Logan told him. “Alright, um, tell Sirius I’m here if he needs me.”

“I’ll tell him, but know that we’re here for you too.”

“I know.” Logan let out another sob he had been holding in and hung up quickly.

+++

Sirius and Remus stopped when they walked into the conference room.

“Hi,” Celeste sadly smiled at them, obviously exhausted.

“I did-didn’t know you were coming.” Remus stammered.

“I can’t stay long. I just had to come by and help write the statement to give to the league.” Celeste met Sirius’s eyes as she explained.

Sirius quickly looked down at the ground.

“Hey, Sirius.” She said softly.

“I can’t.” He looked up with tears streaming down his face. “Celeste I don’t know- I can’t.”

Celeste wrapped him in her arms as he fell into her sobbing.

“He loved you so much, Sirius. He was so, so proud of you.” Celeste told him as everyone left the room to give them time alone.

“I don’t know what to do.” He pulled away.

“Come talk,” she led him over to the table.

“I’m sorry. You shouldn’t have to deal with me. You should be with your kids.” Sirius wiped his eyes but the tears were still falling.

“You’re my son just like Marc and Louis are. Now talk to me.”

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to feel.” He admitted.

“What do you feel?”

“I don’t know. I can’t explain it. It’s like I can feel all the emotions but I’m also numb to them but not fully numb because they still hurt.” He sobbed. “Celeste it hurt. It hurts so fucking bad. It hurts.”

“I know it does sweetheart. I know.” She hugged him again.

“I don’t think I can do this.” He shook his head. “I can’t handle this feeling. I need it to stop.”

“Hey, none of that.” She cupped his cheek. “Adele and Katie and Marc and Louis already lost their father, they don’t want to lose their brother too.”

“I don’t want them to but I can’t take this.”

“You can Sirius. You’re strong. It’s going to get better. I know we’re all gonna miss him more than anything. But it will stop hurting so much.”

Sirius could only cling to her and sob.

++++

“Hi, baby.” Remus hugged Sirius as he walked out of the room with Celeste.

Sirius curled into his chest.

“I’m gonna head out,” Celeste told them with a sad smile. “The kids are with their grandparents and the team’s already here.”

They said their goodbyes and walked into the main lounge where half the team was already gathered.

“You okay?” James asked Sirius who could only shake his head and collapsed onto the couch, letting Remus pull him onto his lap.

The previously happy energy in the room dulled as they waited for the rest of the team to trickle in. The energy rose slightly as they cracked jokes to lighten the mood.

“Alright now that you’re all here-”

“Dumo’s not.” Nado pointed out.

“I know,” Arthur said sadly.

“Hey if he gets to skip why couldn’t we?” Kasey protested.

“Make him do extra laps tomorrow,” Thomas told Arthur.

All of their remarks stopped as they looked over at Sirius as he sobbed into Remus’s chest. Logan had his arms crossed on his knees and head buried in his arms his body shook as Leo and Finn rubbed his back.

“Coach why’s Dumo late?” James looked at Arthur. The coach had tears streaming down his face.

“Why is Dumo late?” Kasey asked through clenched teeth.

“Celeste called last night.” He started to explain. “He had a heart attack.”

“No” Thomas shook his head.

“Oh god,” Lily threw her hand over her mouth.

“They tried to bring him-”

“Stop.” James shook his head in shock.

“I’m so sorry.” his voice broke.

The room filled with silent sobs.

“The league’s going to release a statement tonight,” Arthur told them before falling silent, letting them all process the news in silence.

“Celeste wants us to clean out his locker.” He said a few minutes later. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to, she just wants to get everything out of it so she can keep some things. She said you can have anything you want from it.”

The team stood up numbly and walked into the locker room.

“You sure?” Remus asked Sirius as he climbed off his lap. Sirius nodded and grabbed onto his hand.

It was only silent whispers and cries as the team pulled things from his locker and stall.

“Stop,” Remus’s loud voice cut through the silence. “Sirius stop.”

They watched as Sirius punched Remus’s arms that were wrapped tight around his waist to hold him back.

“Let me go.” Sirius snarled, getting lifted off the ground when he tried to kick Remus’s legs. “Let me go.”

“I’m not gonna let you go until you calm down.” Remus held him tight.

Sirius didn’t stop.

The team watched their captain in shock and overwhelming sadness.

“Sirius, you have to stop. You’re going to make yourself sick, baby.” Remus tried to calm him.

Then Sirius is screaming.

Just screams.

And screams and screams.

They’re terrifying sounds. Torturously filled with panic and grief and sadness and desperation and anger and pleas.

He screams until his voice wears out and he can’t fight anymore. He turns around in Remus’s arms and screams with what little voice he has left.

Remus was shaking with sobs as he held his broken husband. Wishing he could fix everything that broke him.

Remus picked Sirius up as his knees gave out and carried him out of the locker room. Leaving everyone in silence.

++++++

It didn’t truly hit Remus until the league released a statement.

Then it hit hard.

They had breaking news on all the sports channels to explain his death and what it meant for the team.

Once the tweets started he made sure Sirius was still asleep after exhausting himself from breakdowns last night and quietly left the bedroom.

As soon as he stood in front of the sink he started shaking.

Moments later it all hit.

He sank against the wall with silent sobs.

He had lost people before, his grandpa, an uncle, but he wasn’t close with them.

He was close with Dumo.

Hell, he’s the reason he’s married to the love of his life.

His first thought when they got the call was Sirius.

And that’s who he had focused on since the call.

All the effort it took for him to try and be there for his husband, left little time to think about anything else.

But Sirius was asleep and all the tweets he was being tagged in that told him that they were sorry for his loss. Now he could process it.

He cried for Dumo, and Celeste, and Adele, Marc, Louis, Katie, the team, the fans, Logan, Sirius.

He cried for all of them.

He cried until he felt someone sit down beside him and pull him into their chest.

He was going to apologize for waking Sirius but his mind was racing too fast and all he could do was let Sirius hold him and cry.

+++3 Days Later+++

“Sirius?” Remus shot up as he felt the empty bed beside him. “Sirius?”

He ran out of the room calling his husband’s name with no response and, fuck, this wasn’t good.

“Sirius? Sirius.” Remus stopped as he looked into the ice rink in their basement.

Sirius was shooting pucks into the goal. Each shot more forceful and more powerful than the last.

“Baby,” Remus called out, getting his attention. But the black-haired man just shook his head after making eye contact. And went back to hit the black rubber.

“Baby.” He called out again. “Come back to bed. Please love?”

Sirius dropped his stick and stood in the center of the ice panting.

Remus could see the tears now that he was standing still. He was wearing simple grey sweatpants that he had stolen from Remus. But his heart jolted when he saw the hoodie.

It was Dumos lucky hoodie.

As much as the older man said superstitions were stupid, he never played a game without wearing it.

The once bright blue fabric was now a dull blue-grey color.

The red letters barely readable after too many washes.

The small New York Rangers logo was only noticeable if you knew it was there before.

The team always chirped at him for wearing it. “That’s betrayal, Dumo.”

Celeste had given it to Sirius earlier but he had refused to even touch it until now.

Sirius skated over to the side and took off his skates quickly before pushing past his husband.

“Sirius” Remus followed him up the stairs. “Hey, stop.” He grabbed his arm.

“Leave me alone.”

“Sirius calm down.”

“Don’t tell me what to do.” Sirius seethed and hit his hand away.

“Calm down and I won’t have to tell you to.”

“I fucking hate you.” Sirius gritted his teeth and pushed Remus in the chest.

“Don’t push me,” Remus told him firmly.

“I don’t know why I married you.” He pushed him again, with more force as tears streamed down his face.

“Stop pushing me.”

“I hate you.” He pushed him hard, Remus’s back hitting the wall.

“Sirius don’t fucking push me.”

“I HATE YOU.” He screamed and raised his fist.

“Don’t you dare,” Remus grabbed his hand before it could connect with his face before grabbing the other and holding them in a restraint. “You can scream and cry and tell me you hate me or that you don’t love me all you want, I’m not gonna stop you.” He told him firmly. “But I am never going to let you hit me.”

Sirius seemed to snap out of his trance and collapsed into Remus. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to. Please, I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” He sobbed and screamed.

“I know. I know you’re sorry. I know you didn’t mean to but no matter how angry you are, you can’t physically hurt me, or someone else, or yourself.” Remus held him.

Sirius could only sob.

“This doesn’t mean you’re your parents, Sirius.” Remus could read his mind. “Your parents hit for no reason. You tried to hit me because you’re angry and scared and devastated and so many other emotions that you don’t know how to handle.”

“That doesn’t make it okay.”

“No, it doesn’t make it okay. But there was still an understandable reason for it, meaning you aren’t your parents.”

“I didn’t- know- I- was- do-doing-ing it,” He gasped. “I don-don-t know-why- I- di-did- i-i-it-t-it.” He was hyperventilating at this point. His knees gave out and dragged both of them to the floor.

“You need to take deep breaths for me, baby. You’re going to pass out if you don’t slow your breathing down.” He kissed his forehead. “Try and match your breathing with mine.” He put Sirius’s hand over his chest.

Sirius choked and gasped for a few minutes before sobbing. “I-I can’t.”

“I know it’s hard but you’ve got to try my love. Breath with me okay.” He inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly. Repeating it until Sirius started to follow his rhythm.

“Good job baby.” He kissed his forehead again as his breathing slowed.

“I don’t know why I did it.” He hiccuped slightly.

“Baby you grew up in a world where abuse was a sign of emotion. If your parents were angry they hit. If they were disappointed they hit. If they were hurt they hit. You learned that if you’re hurting you make others hurt. Not verbally like some people do but physically. That’s what you had always known and accepted. And yes you aren’t controlled by their tactics anymore but your mind still remembers those lessons that you didn’t even know you learned.” Remus rubbed his back and rocked him slightly as he explained.

“Right now you are hurting more than you ever have before. And you are devastated and panicked and angry. And those are all normal and perfectly okay to feel. But your mind doesn’t know what to do with this level of emotions so it goes through everything that has happened when you felt these emotions until it thinks it’s found a way to get rid of them. In your mind anger had always and only meant pain and hurt. It’s not your fault baby. It’s not. But we’re gonna have to figure out a way to stop your mind from thinking that.”

“I’m still sorry.”

“I know you are. And just because it’s not your fault and that it’s not really you that’s doing it, does not mean I’m going to allow you to hurt yourself or someone else.”

“I’m so sorry.” Sirius sobbed again.

++++++++ 2 months later ++++++++

“And with 5 minutes left of practice, they come calling.” Arthur pulled out his ringing phone. “Hey, Loops.” He put the man on speaker. “Where are you?”

“The uh, um,” He sounded dazed and disoriented.

“Remus? Are you okay?” Arthur asked.

“Hospital. At the hospital.”

“What? Why?” James asked.

“Sirius, he, he, uh, ki- tried, cut. He tried to ki, ki-” He couldn’t finish the sentence.

“Oh god,” Leo breathed.

“Is he okay?” Logan asked.

“They pu-pumped his stomach.” He trailed off.

“Remus?” Arthur asked after a short stretch of silence.

“Sorry. He’s in surgery, on his, uhm, wrist. Was too deep.”

The team all stood in shock.

“Do you want us to be there?” Arthur asked him.

“Please.” Remus gasped.

“Okay. Yeah, we’ll be there soon. Do you need anything?”

“Clothes. There’s blood. Clothes?”

“Yeah someone will grab you a change of clothes.”

“In bag. Locker. Sirius’s. Clothes.” Remus seemed to be getting more and more disoriented.

“Alright, we’ll bring them,” Arthur told him as Finn dug through Sirius’s bag and pulled out a change of clothes.

“Okay.”

“We’ll be there soon.”

“Okay.” Remus hung up.

“Fuck” James collapsed into his best friend’s stall, sobbing.

+++++++

“Oh, shit” Kasey breathed when they turned the corner into the waiting room.

There was blood on Remus’s clothes.

Sirius’s blood was on Remus’s clothes.

“Hey, Loops.” Finn walked in and handed him the bag of spare clothes to change into.

“Hmm?” Remus blinked. “Oh, thank you.” He took the bag from him and stood up.

“Woah,” Finn caught him as he staggered. “You okay?”

“Fine.” Remus stood up and tripped out of the room on shaky legs.

He took one look in the mirror and ripped off his clothes, chucking them in the garbage. Quickly putting on the clean clothes that smelled like his lover, and started to wash the blood off his arms.

He scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed until he felt the faucet turn off and the soap taken out of his hands.

“It’s off, Fruit Loops,” Thomas told him softly.

“I’m gonna lose him. I’m gonna lose him.” Remus whispered around the sob stuck in his throat.

“No, you’re not. You’re not gonna lose him. We’re not gonna lose him.” Thomas said firmly. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. Sorry.” He ran a hand through his hair.

“No need to apologize.”

“Um, thanks for, you know, coming to check on me.”

“I got your back Loop, we all do.” Thomas threw an arm around Remus, in support and to keep him upright, as they walked back to the waiting room.

“Remus.” Lily was there when they walked back in. “God I’m so sorry.”

Remus let her pull him into a hug and sobbed into her neck.

++++++++

Remus looked up when someone new walked into the waiting room.

“Hey,” He stood up as Celeste hugged him.

“How is he?” She asked when he pulled away, tears streamed down her face.

“I don’t know. Last thing they said was that he was in surgery.”

“What happened?” She asked softly as they sat down.

Remus let out a sob. “It’s my fault.”

“No, it’s not,” Celeste told him along with the rest of the team.

“It is. I knew something was off. I knew something was wrong.” Remus couldn’t hold back his sobs any longer.

“When he woke up he said he was going to get a drink but was going to come back to bed and I fell back asleep for a few minutes and he wasn’t back so I went to the bathroom cause the light was on but the door was locked and he wasn’t answering and I kicked down the door and he was pale and he wasn’t moving and the cuts kept bleeding and they wouldn’t stop. I tried to stop it but I couldn’t. They wouldn’t stop bleeding. There was so much blood and he wasn’t breathing. I couldn’t stop the bleeding.” He was hysterical by the end. Celeste pulled him into her arms and shushed him softly. “He had no pulse. He was dead. He kept dying in the ambulance. He wouldn’t stop dying.”

Celeste squeezed the distraught man until he calmed down.

“Fuck, sorry.” Remus pulled away and wiped his eyes. “I don’t know why I freaked out like that.”

“Remus, your husband is in the hospital. You’re allowed to freak out.” Arthur told him.

Everything stopped as the doctor walked in.

+++++

Remus’s breath hitched as he stood in the doorway of Sirius’s stale hospital room.

His husband looked up at the noise.

“I’m sorry,” Sirius gasped. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

“Oh, my love.” Remus rushed over to Sirius and leaned his forehead against the others.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” The distraught man kept repeating as tears fell fast.

“I love you. It’s okay. I love you. It’s okay.” Remus cupped his cheek and cried along with him.

“I’m sorry.” Sirius couldn’t stop repeating.

“Shh, shh. Don’t apologize. Baby, please don’t apologize.” Remus pressed his lips to his husband’s forehead, letting his lips linger on the warm skin.

Sirius’s words slowly and quietly faded out until only sobs left his mouth.

Remus pulled away and sat on the edge of the bed. He took Sirius’s hand lightly and tried as hard as he could to ignore the white bandages wrapped around his wrists.

They sat in silence as Remus rubbed soothing circles on the back of his hand.

“Please say something,” Sirius pleaded.

“I thought I lost you,” Remus whispered.

“I'm sorry,” Sirius’s voice was worn out.

“I thought you died.” He gritted his teeth. “And I didn’t know what I was going to do. I didn’t know if I was going to live while you weren’t.”

“Please, please don’t say that,”

“It’s the truth, Sirius. You don’t want to live without Dumo and I don’t want to live without you,”

Sirius stayed silent.

“I have never felt so purely hopeless than I felt when I was in that bathroom. There was nothing I could do.”

“I’m so sorry I’m putting you through this.”

“Stop apologizing,” Remus begged.

“It was so stupid of me but I didn’t know what else to do.”

“I was two feet away. You promised you would come to me when you felt like this.”

“I didn’t want you to be mad at me.” Sirius wouldn’t meet his eye.

“What?” Remus breathed out. “Baby why would I be ma- have I done anything to make you think I would be mad?”

Sirius shook his head and stared down at his lap.

“Sirius, please. What did I do?”

“Nothing I promise that you didn’t do anything.” Sirius met his eye and looked back down.

“I will never. Ever. Be mad at you about something like this.”

“I’m sorry,” Sirius whispered. “I’m sorry.”

Remus pulled him into his arm, praying that he would never have to let go.

#I'm sorry #lumosinlove #sweater weather lumosinlove #coops #oknutzy #pascal dumais #celeste dumais #i cried #IM SORRY I WAS SAD AND THEN IT WOULDN"T LEAVE MY BRAIN

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lavendersblue32 · 4 years ago

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that’s my family

ok so little preface. I love love love the idea of coops with a daughter and her growing up with the biggest, sweetest family ever, so I made Thea. I’ve never posted on tumblr, let alone released my own writing so bear with me, but I had to put the idea down, so here it is. all characters are the incredible creation of @lumosinlove, but thea is mine :) <3

“Mr. and Mr. Lupin, welcome! I believe we've met before, on back to school night?”

Remus reached out to shake the teacher’s hand. Sirius gazed around the 3rd grade classroom. Art projects and geography posters plastered the walls. The teacher’s name, Ms. Bernard, was printed in copper letters on the front of her desk, to match the students name tags on the front of their desks. Sirius found Thea’s desk, smack in the middle of the front row. He smiled at the thought of Thea’s hand shooting up ambitiously at any question she knew, thrilled to share her knowledge.

“Yes, I believe that’s when we last met.” Sirius said, sharing a nod with Remus.

“Well, please come have a seat.”

Sirius pulled out one of the 3rd grade sized chairs sitting around a table at the front of the room.

“Oop, not quite hockey player sized.” Remus laughed, as he sat in the tiny chair, his knees barley fitting under the table. Ms. Bernard grabbed a folder off her desk, and joined them at the table. Sirius couldn’t help but feel anxious about the reason they were there. The teacher had only sent a brief email, asking him and Remus to come in for a meeting regarding Thea. He didn’t think Thea was in trouble. She couldn’t be. Or had he made a mistake as a parent?

Sirius felt Remus’ hand brush his own, linking them together under the table. Remus could tell Sirius was anxious.

“By the way, and I should’ve told you in the email, but Thea is absolutely not in any trouble.” Remus let out an exaggerated sigh.

“Thank goodness, we can call the boogey man and cancel his visit.” He smiled, as Sirius laughed heartily, his anxieties eased.

“In fact,” Ms. Bernard continued, “It's quite the opposite of trouble.” She pulled a typed paper out of the folder. “This past week, I gave the students an assignment to write all about their families. I’ve made it a point as a teacher to teach students about the importance of understanding and respecting our differences, and wanted to begin with the different types of families there are. It’s also a way for me to get to know the students since we’re only a few weeks into school.” She slid the paper across the table towards Sirius and Remus.

“Everyone did great with the assignment, but Thea...Thea’s family essay blew me away.” Sirius picked up the essay, scooting his chair closer to Remus so they could both read it. Thea was a smart kid, but what could be so phenomenal about a 3rd grade essay that the teacher had called the parents in? Remus began to read out loud.

“My Family

By Theadora Celeste Lupin

My name is Theadora but everyone calls me Thea, just because. Family is very important to me, because it’s always around me. My parents are Remus and Sirius Lupin. They are both my dad’s and I love them to the moon and back. They play hockey for the Gryffindor Lions. They drive me places, help me get better at hockey, and help me grow. Most kids don’t have two dads, or think it’s weird, but I don’t. They love me more than anything else, and that’s all that matters. My Papa’s mom and dad are Celeste and Pascal Dumais, and they are my grandma and grandpa. Meme Celeste teaches me to cook, and bon papa Dumo coaches my hockey team. My dad’s parents are Hope and Lyall Lupin. I call them hopey and lemon. We make the best pies together.

My papa’s brother, my uncle Regulus, is super smart, and he always helps me with my homework. He always watches movies with me too. My dad’s brother, my uncle Julian, always takes me to the park and lets me have ice cream before dinner sometimes. My uncle Leo calls me darlin’, and has a funny southern accent. We talk in french sometimes to confuse uncle Finn. Uncle Logan always braids my hair for me, and lets me wear his hats. Uncle Finn always has dance parties with me, and we build pillow forts when he babysits me.

My aunt Lily takes me shopping for clothes, and takes me out for girls days. She knows the girly things that Papa and Dad don’t know. Uncle James taught me Mario Kart, and always lets me win. Harry is James and Lily’s son, and he’s like my big brother. He always looks out for me, and lets me skate with him and his friends. My aunt Natalie and Uncle Kasey and Uncle Alex are so much fun. Aunt Natalie is a really pretty singer, and Uncle Alex can play the guitar. Uncle Kasey has long hair like me, so he lets me put it in crazy hairstyles.

There are a lot of people in my family, but everyone means a lot to me, and everyone means something different to me. I love my whole family to the end of infinity. My family may be different than yours, but it's still a family. And I wouldn’t trade them for anything.”

A tear rolled down Remus’ cheek, and dotted the paper he and Sirius were still holding.

“Wow.” Sirius let out, desperately holding back the tidal wave of emotions threatening to spill.

“It’s really think it’s special how much love she holds for so many people.” Ms. Bernard smiled at them softly. “I thought it would be best if I shared it with you two before she reads it to the class. I think Thea has a wonderful perception of others emotions and a great capacity for empathy, she’s an incredible kid.”

Sirius’ heart felt like it would burst with pride. In this moment, the doubts he had about himself as a father, becoming like his own father, disappeared.

“I’ll send you home with this copy, so you can share it with your family, it needs to be shared.” She put the paper back in the folder and handed it to Remus.

“Thank you for having us in, it’s comforting to know how well Thea is doing, she’s in the hands of a great educator.” Sirius shook Ms. Bernard's hand, and waved as he and Remus left the classroom.

“I’m going to give ma fifille the biggest hug I’ve ever given her when we get home.” Sirius wiped tears from the corners of his eyes.

“You think you’re a mess? Just wait until we let James read this.” Remus linked arms with his husband, who let out a knowing laugh.

“We have the best kid.” Remus mused, and leaned over to kiss Sirius’ cheek.

“We sure do.”

#coops #o'knutzy #oc #cute #family #o'darwin #sweaterweather

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sonybees · 4 years ago

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mutuals appreciation post!

i seriously CANNOT at all process this

literally i do not know how this even happened but i am so inexplicably grateful for every single one of you! i love all of you so so much!

i was maybe thinking about making a sleepover but school has been kicking my ass lately so i just decided on making a little mutuals appreciation post! to all my other mutuals, i love all of you so much and i literally want to smother all of you with hugs and kisses. i am so grateful for all of you. thank you.

this might be a little long so it’s under the cut! there might be a lot of mistakes snsjd

@lunaleonorah leo!!! you are an absolute blessing. i love your kindness and the amount of affection you give me literally makes me wanna break down and scream. in a good way of course sjjs. i love our conversations where we just talk about our days and all that. i wish we could always be friends and you can tell me anything you’d like. i love our friendship because we can talk to each other whenever we’d like and will always bring comfort to each other. i always look forward to having conversations with you everyday. ilysm and you deserve the world <3 all the love, pluto.

@gredmforge rory, my wife! i love talking to you about nonsense, it always makes my day and your fun and carefree personality always makes me smile. no doubt that we will be great friends in real life. the little asks you send in my inbox always make me laugh and i’m very excited for whatever future works you have. you always seemed so nice and sweet ever since i first interacted with you and i am so happy that i asked you where you got your memes because look what that got us to! shsjdjd. no but seriously, i love talking to you about our obsessions and just saying hello to each other. ilysm and i hope you always remember that! :) <3

@crookedhag my lovely eliz, i’m too lazy to make another one of those fancy scrolls that i did earlier but that doesn’t stop me from showin gmy appreciation for you. you are such a sweet and amazing person. you are also so talented and i am always so happy to see your name pop up on my notifications. you were always the first one to send me an ask for ask games and you always check in on me and i love you for that. i wish the very best in everything you do. you have great taste in music and i’m starting to think that you’re in every single fandom i don’t know jsjsj. but i love talking to you and ily! mwah! ◡̈

@oldschoolkiddo hero! the first time you ever interacted with me, i already knew that i would love having you around. you are such a fun person and all the tag games that you make and tag me in are always so fun! you are an independent person and i love that so much. you speak your mind and that is so powerful. you are so very sweet and your personality is so fun. i hope that you have many great days in the future and you can always talk to me whenever you need to. let me know if you want a distraction from anything or if you just want to rant, i will be here. ily!

@krasivayadarling my lovely ant! i am so very glad that i built up the courage to say hi to you when you made that post saying you wanted to be friends with new people. you are one of the best people i’ve ever met and you are so sweet, kind, talented, funny, and supportive. i am also so grateful for your support in my fics. you were my first ever supporter and i was really nervous for someone to read my works but you were so nice about it and i love that. i wish you all the best. ily, ant! sincerely, soap.

@whatthefuckimbisexual the loveliest persephone, you are such a bad bitch. JSJS NO BUT SRSLY ILYSM. you are such a fun person and i love how we can relate to each other a lot. i mean, staying up til 3 am and fuck aral pan yk? ejekdj. i really wish you the best in everything and i hope that we can interact more! you are truly one of the most fun and energetic people i’ve ever met and you are so very sweet and funny. thank you for being a great person! all the love <3

@falconxbarnes maddie! you add such a sweet and great person and when you reblog and like my posts, my heart fills with joy! your blog brings me so much comfort and i love our short little conversations. you remind me of going out at 5 am when the sun is almost out. the joy is always evident when that happens just like how i feel when i talk to you! i wish to eat pancit canton with you one day! i really wish you the best in everything and you deserve so many good things. mwah!

@amourtentiaa liane! you are literally so talented and it amazes me every time i read your works. you are so fun and chill and seeing your name always makes me happy! your blog page is filled with so much comfort in my opinion and our first conversation ever was so fun and you are so polite. you also really remind me of the night. i can’t explain why but like i said, you are chill and brings me a lot of comfort! i really love the way you interact with others as you are so kind. i hope you are doing well and always will feel well. ily, yannie!

@puntuations oh my gosh, ysa! you followed me first and i didn’t exactly understand why because you seemed too cool and mature for me djdj. but i am so glad you did and i am so grateful that you’re my friend. thank you for tagging me in dps related things! i really love that and it brings me so much joy. you were always so kind to me no matter what and you are so respectful. i appreciate you and your blog always makes me smile. thank you for being an amazing friend. ilysm, ysa. mwah!

@tofeeltaller joy! you bring me so much joy! sjdndjdn sorry, i had to. you are so so sweet and kind. i was always so scared to interact with dps blogs because they seemed intimidating but so nice at the same time (idk why i’m sorrydhjd), i thought y’all were too cool for me and i didn’t know how to approach you guys but after i got the courage to talk to you, i felt a lot more comfortable. you are so sweet and kind and you deserve so much more blessings. you truly are an amazing person and i hope that your days will get better and better. giving you so many warm hugs and kisses, mwah!

@lolremuslupin dkndkx omg you are so sweet! i don’t interact with you much but we do talk sometimes. i am also very glad that i decided to pm you to try and make new friends and you were so kind about it. you are such an amazing person and i love staying up at 3 am talking to you about random crap. i wish that your life will go well and that you are always safe! warm hugs!

@punkrific soaf, my twin! i really love talking to you and your energy is always so great. you are an amazing and fun person and having a twin like you always makes me feel like the luckiest ever. i am so so grateful to have you as a friend and your dashing personality always gets me. ilysm and i wish you the best! love, the ugly sofia <3

@freddieweasleyswife sweets! i’ve never met someone as sweet and kind as you are. you’re an amazing person and you deserve so much and you are so talented. i wish to write like you one day. my day is always better when I see your name in my notifications being friends with someone as amazing as you are is so great and i wosh to interact with you more. i miss talking to you and you’re always so kind and ready to comfort anyone. ilysm and you deserve the world. sincerely, sweetpea. <3

@sam-winchester-is-my-bitch rae! i love talking to you and seeing your pets! you are so kind, sweet and understanding and you really know how to make me smile. whenever i talk to you, it’s always so wholesome and nice and you give off so much good vibes. you really are like the color yellow to me, sunny, nice, but can be serious at times. but is always ready to cheer someone up. i wish you the best in everything and i hope that we can talk more! all the love <3

@daltonacademia kendi! i know you’re on a short hiatus at the moment but i just had to add you in here. i really hope that you are doing well and i hope you know that your writing is literally one of the best that i’ve ever read. you are so sweet and kind and you always have that little fun and sunny personality and i love talking to you so much. you are so respectful and you deserve so much. i’m sending you all the love and comfort. you are amazing and i hope you know that. stay safe, kendi! i really love that nicknamejsjs

@thatswhywilliamagedlikesourmilk dear! i am so glad that you followed my page and i am so so grateful that i’m friends with you. you are one of the best people ever and you are so so sweet. the most adorable person ever! talking to you feels like hugging a teddy bear and i am aware that that doesn’t make much sense but it just feels so comfy and brings me joy. i really hope that you’re doing well because you also deserve everything! sending you so many hugs <3 mwah!

@fredweasleyismyloverman alex, my dear! you are so kind and nice! i’m really glad i followed you. just a little fun fact, i actually found you through ant or @krasivayadarling . i was reading through some people who she gave ships to and i saw yours and i was like “oh my gosh, this person and i are literally the same.” and i went crazy because it looked almost exactly the same as my description hdjdjd. i’m actually not that sure if it went like that but that’s how i recalled it so i just always remember thatsbns. i literally relate to you so much and your shitposts give me life. you are so wise and amazing and i would love to talk to you more! ily, dear! mwah <3

@daisyyy2516 daze, dear! i am so happy that sab led ke to your page! literally, you are so damn talented and i just cannot i am always so amazed every time you show your works. you are so kind and sweet and such an icon. you bring me so much joy and everything you’ve ever said to me has always been something sweet and funny. ilysm and you deserve the world. i’d like if you dm’ed me once you’ve gotten your work displayed at some huge art exhibition. you are so amazing and i want you to know that. everything will be better. i appreciate you and i am so glad that you are in this world. i love you sm, daze. frd weasley loves you too. all the love and joy, soaf.

@sirlorelai lorie!! you are so nice and kind and sweet. i’m very glad that you weren’t angry at me spam reblogging your postsjsjd. i love our conversations and i wish we could talk more! you are such a kind and funny person and everything you’ve ever done has put a smile to my face. you are so fun and energetic and i love that. i hope that life is going well over there and that everything will be better if it isn’t at the moment. you deserve so much and ilysm, mwah!

@quadrupledeckertaco lorelei, dear! i miss talking to you! i really love our conversations and your soft but fierce personality is so great and it brings me so much joy. your writing is literally so amazing and like i said, i aspire to write like you one day. i miss you so much and i really hope that everything’s well. i wish you the best and sending you so much love, sofia. <3

and to all my other mutuals! thank you! i love all of you so much and interacting with all of you brings me so much joy. thank you for everything. have a great day everyone!

#again i am SO SO SO GRATEFUL #OMG YOU GUYS DONT KNOW HOW MUCH IM ACTUALLY FREAKING OUT I TROED TO BE CHILL ON THSI PSOTJEND #sofia’s got 300 friends!#sofia’s mutual appreciation post #tw swearing #tw food mention

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sfb123 · 4 years ago

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Sapere Aude - Part 8A

Book: The Royal Heir

Pairing: King Liam Rys x Queen Riley Brooks

All characters belong to Pixelberry.

Catch Up Here

Series Description: I developed a theory of what I think will happen in TRH Book 4, and I was encouraged by some very lovely people to turn my theory into a fic, so here it is. Basically, Riley is recruited to join the Via Imperii, this series will follow her as she joins them to try and bring them down from the inside, and all of the drama and bombshells she learns along the way. Sapere Aude is Latin for “dare to know” it seemed like an appropriate title.

Rating: M -MATURE

Warning: Adult language, smut (🍋🍋🍋) and other adult themes.

Word Count: 4,049

Notes: I know I’ve sucked at updating and posting. I hit kind of a personal slump in my writing, there was a lot of self-loathing involved. I really struggled with writing chapter 9, and I eventually had a revelation that it was likely because I wasn’t done exploring everything that happened in chapter 8, so I’ve made a sub chapter. We follow Liam when after he leaves their quarters and get into his thought process in dealing with the bombshell that was dropped on him.

And yes, you read that rating right, my lemon tree has had its first bloom. I really stressed myself out over this, so I hope it’s worth the time I spent trying to convince myself that I was doing a good job, not to mention the time my friends had to spend (see below) to boost my ego.

Thank you so so much to @txemrn for reading a couple of snippets for me and being the cheerleader I needed when I was feeling really down on myself and my work...even though I was supposed to be the one giving YOU a peptalk!

And a super special thank you to my fairy smutmother @jessiembruno. You listened to me complain, and doubt myself, and a million other things multiple times a day while I was trying to find my way, and you never once came off as annoyed or frustrated. I am so lucky to be able to call you a friend.

Finally, thank you so much @twinkleallnight for my UPDATED moodboard! She took it upon herself to update it to better reflect the feel of the story, and she did a kick ass job!

Tags: I’m officially rocking my new tag list. Everyone is listed below as well as in the comments for safety. If you’d like to be added or removed, let me know!

“Liam, where are you going?”

“I need to take a walk. Gather my thoughts.”

“Do you want me to come with you?”

“No, I need to be alone right now. You stay here, I’ll be back shortly.”

Before she could stop him, Liam was out the door. He knew she just wanted to be there for him, but he needed to be alone. The royal quarters, his home, his sanctuary, suddenly felt so small. He was suffocating there, he needed to get away, to breathe.

“Your majesty?” Bastien stopped him.

“I’m fine, Bastien, just going for a walk. Please stand down.” Liam tried to keep his tone and expression neutral, but it was obvious to Bastien that something was wrong. He bowed to the King, following orders and remaining at his post.

Liam continued walking through the palace, unsure where he was going, he just needed to get out. He found himself walking through the gardens, approaching the maze. One of his mother’s last projects before her passing...or rather, before she abandoned him. It was always a special place for Liam. Growing up, he would often go there to hide out when he was feeling lonely, or missing his mother more than usual. It was one of his favorite spots on the grounds, possibly in the world. How would he ever be able to look at this space the same again? It would serve as a constant reminder of the insurmountable betrayal he had faced at the hands of the woman that gave him life.

As he walked the familiar path through the maze, he considered his options. Perhaps he would burn it to the ground, and salt the earth to prevent any attempts at regrowth. Would that make him feel better? Would it take away the pain?

Likely not, but it would feel good to know that I took something away from her that she cherished so dearly. A metaphor for what she has done to me. My memories of her, her kindness, her generosity, they mean nothing anymore. Because, to her, I meant nothing. I couldn’t have. If I did, she wouldn’t have left.

He continued his journey, getting lost in his thoughts. He would look back at his childhood memories, trying to remember something, anything, that could ease this moment for him. Nothing came. His mind then wandered to the relationship he could have had with Thomas, his brother. He had another brother this whole time. All those times when Leo had run off to god knows where, he wouldn’t have had to be quite as alone as he was. Sure, he had Drake to keep him company, but Drake wasn’t a prince. He didn’t have the same expectations, the same limitations, that Liam faced. He could have had someone else by his side that understood all of it.

How was he supposed to feel about Thomas now that he knew the truth? His first instinct was anger, but he quickly rejected that. It wasn’t his fault that they were kept apart their whole lives. He was suddenly very curious about Thomas’s life.

What was his childhood like? How did he feel when he learned that he was also royalty? Has he ever wanted to say anything to me, to come forward? Would I have believed him if he had?

Even though he wasn’t supposed to know any of this, he hoped that things would get to a point where he could talk to Thomas, and ask those questions. Ideally in a casual setting over drinks, and not an interrogation cell.

Liam soon found himself in the center of the maze. As he took in his surroundings, his mind kept racing back to his childhood. The picnics with his mother, the games of maze tag with Drake.

I wonder if Thomas would have liked to play maze tag with us, had he been around.

He felt a sudden calming come over him at one point. When he took a look around, he realized that he was standing in the exact spot where he and Riley had landed when he inadvertently tackled her the night of the masquerade ball. The night he learned she had traveled halfway around the world just for a chance to be with him, because she felt what he was feeling after just a few hours together one night in New York. Even now, all these years later, he still felt the same butterflies in his stomach thinking of that moment.

Wistfully, he walked a bit further, to the spot where they stood the night of his coronation, where he had finally managed to say those three words he had been feeling since the moment his eyes met hers. He smiled as he replayed the memory of her saying it back to him. He was fairly certain at the time that she felt the same way, but to hear those words fall from her beautiful lips, he had never felt a high quite like that in his life. His mind then wandered to the events that those words led to, another moment he had long dreamed of. Physically expressing the love they had just declared. He felt his heart start to race thinking of their first time together. All of the sudden, anger quickly replaced all other emotions, as he remembered that there was a tape of that moment. A tape that was recorded, and held, by her group. He quickly searched the area, digging his arms through the hedges, looking for anywhere a camera might be hidden. He came up empty. Given how long it had been since the recording, it made sense that they had likely removed their surveillance from the area.

Another reason to be rid of this maze once and for all. Another reminder of the deceit. Only this time it’s worse, they brought Riley into it.

Liam needed to move on from the center of the maze, so he continued walking, finally coming across the wishing well. The wishing well his mother had told him about when he was a child.

Can you take back wishes? I wished so many times that my mother would come back to me, for her death to have been a misunderstanding. Well Liam, you got your wish, now look at you. How many other wishes have I made that will come back around to bite me in the ass?

His mind began to wander again. This time, to the night of the Homecoming Ball. The night Riley was officially presented as the Duchess of Valtora, and more importantly, his fiance. They both made wishes that night, he remembered his wish: to never let fear dictate his choices, the way his father did.

He let fear dictate his choices because of the loss of his wife. Had he known what truly happened, things would have been different. Perhaps he wouldn’t have interfered with my choice during the social season. I could have been with Riley all along. The way things were always supposed to be. I know we ended up together, and the struggles made our bond that much stronger, but there was a very real chance that I could have lost her forever, I almost did, over his choice.

Thinking of Riley reminded him of her reassurances that night, she was so confident in his ability to be a good King. She believed in him from day one, and never faltered in that. Even when he didn’t believe in himself, thinking of Riley, and her faith in him gave him the strength to continue on. To be the best man, and King he could be. To make his Queen proud.

In that moment, Liam had an epiphany. This maze was so much more than his childhood and memories of a mother that betrayed him. This maze was about the love he and Riley shared. It had played a paramount role in their story. When he looked around, he saw memories of them, their stolen moments, their heartfelt confessions. He couldn’t get rid of this maze, if he did, he would be destroying a piece of his heart.

From this moment forward, this maze is not about her, not about the lies that she raised me on. It is about the love and support I have shared with my soulmate. This is where our love, much like the flowers that adorn these hedges, blossomed.

Riley...my heart, my world, my Queen. She gave up her life, her freedom, to be with me. She left her family and friends, her job, everything, for me. She has dedicated her life to my country, she has taken on my responsibilities. What have I done in return? I’ve put her in this impossible position. I’ve put her in harm's way, yet again, for the good of Cordonia. A country had never even heard of before I came in and turned her life upside down.

He needed to get back to her. Walking back toward the palace, he started considering how she might be feeling in that moment. He had been so caught up in his own mind, that he didn’t stop to think what all of this was doing to her. She had to deliver devastating news to the man she loved, and his reaction was to abandon her. His heart sank as he approached their quarters, he felt so small. He entered their bedroom, overwhelmed with shame for the way he had left her.

Of course she’s still awake. She probably stayed up worrying about me. I was so selfish to just leave her like that.

He kept his head down, too ashamed to look her in the eye, and walked straight into his closet to get ready for bed. His mind working overtime, trying to find the right words, but nothing came. He exited the closet and walked toward the bed, hoping something would come to him.

Finally, Riley broke the silence in the room.

“Liam…” She said barely above a whisper, he turned his head and looked at her for the first time since arriving home. “I’m sorry.” She placed her hand gently over his.

She thinks I’m mad at her. She’s blaming herself. How does she not understand that she is the only thing keeping me from going off the edge? I’m the one that dragged her through all of this, and she’s apologizing to me. I don’t deserve her love.

He was overwhelmed with anger at himself, and heartbreak for his wife. “Riley, you have nothing to apologize for. I am the one that wanted you to do this. You did nothing wrong. None of this is on you.” He tried to smile, but he knew it was unconvincing. He could feel the sting of tears beginning to well up in his eyes.

“Fine, but you’re not allowed to blame yourself either.”

Even to this day, after all of these years, it astonishes me how she can see right through me like that. I’ve had years of training to hide my thoughts and emotions, that training proved useless when it comes to Riley.

“What you just said, telling me you were the one that wanted me to do this. I know you Liam Rys, better than anyone. You’re thinking about how you brought all of this on yourself.”

It’s the truth. None of this would have happened if I hadn’t talked you into joining.

For the second time that night, Liam couldn’t bear to look his wife in the eyes. She was right, but so was he. Liam felt the firm, yet loving touch of Riley’s hand holding his chin and lifting his gaze to meet hers. There was a fire in her eyes, unlike any he had seen from her before.

“This is all on them, it’s the Via Imperii’s fault. That’s why we’re going to take them down. Together. Just like Anton, just like Auvernal, just like Barthelemy, just like any other enemy that has ever, or will ever come our way. We are the King and Queen of Cordonia, Liam and Riley Rys. We are a force to be reckoned with.”

Liam was taken aback by the determination in her statement. He knew she was strong, she had been his rock since the day they met, but this was so much more than that. He didn’t know it was possible, but he felt his love for her grow.

Awestruck, he took the hand she had planted on his chin in his, and brought it to his lips, kissing it softly. “You always know just what to say, love.”

“Years of diplomatic training. I need to be prepared for every possible scenario.” She winked at him.

He couldn’t help but chuckle at the comment. She made it seem so easy to turn his mood around. It was something he would never understand, but always be grateful for.

God, I love this woman.

Riley smiled and leaned into him. “C’mon, let’s try to get some sleep. We can circle back to this nightmare in the morning, start working on a plan.” They both laid back onto the bed, and into each others arms.

In the middle of the night, Liam’s eyes shot open, his heart pounding in his chest, worry overcoming him. He needed a moment to get his bearings, turning to his left to make sure she was still there. She was.

He had been dreaming, a nightmare, technically. Riley was gone, he wasn’t sure where she had gone or why. All he knew was he felt empty, broken, more so than he ever had before. He watched Riley as she slept, a single tear rolling down his cheek. He thought back to his family, the people that were supposed to be there and care for him above all else.

His mother, who had lied to him from the second he was brought into this world. She was his benchmark for love and support, but it was all fake. Because of her, he lived his life based on false ideals. Then he met Riley, she showed him what love and support truly was.

Leo, he was a great brother growing up. He made sure Liam got to have fun, and took the heat when it would get out of hand. However as he got older, his priorities changed, and he was around less and less. When he finally abdicated the throne, he placed the weight of the world on Liam’s shoulders. The bright side to that, was that becoming the Crown Prince, and having a social season, brought Riley into his life. She helped him believe that he truly could carry the weight that was thrust upon him.

His father, a King above all else. As hard as Liam tried to break through that wall, it was duty and his country above all else. That never mattered to Liam though, he still looked up to his father and held him to such a high standard. Until it was uncovered that he attempted to destroy his son’s one chance at true happiness. Despite his attempts at ruining her name, and putting her in harm’s way, Riley stayed and fought. She fought for herself, and she fought for their love. She forgave him for his actions, something Liam was never fully able to do. And when Liam mourned his loss, she was there by his side, holding his hand.

Riley, his bright spot in all of the darkness. His constant source of goodness and joy. In all of that pain, Riley was there. Who would be there if she left him? He would have nothing, he would be nothing. He felt a tightness in his chest at the thought of losing her. He reached his hand out and gently stroked her arm, needing to touch her.

He saw her eyes slowly start to flutter open.

She’s cute when she’s tired.

He watched as she lifted her hand and ran her fingers through his hair. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply.

“Hey, are you ok?”

He unsuccessfully tried to swallow away the lump in his throat before answering. “Please don’t leave me, Riley.”

Liam watched as she sat up in bed, a confused look on her face. “Liam, never. I love you, you’re stuck with me for life.

He knew she meant it, but he also knew these things weren’t always under their control. “I just…there have been so many people that said they cared about me, and then left. Losing them was so hard. But if I lost you Riley, I don’t know how I would be able to continue on. You are the most important part of me, my everything. I don’t exist without you.”

A sadness overtook Riley’s face, Liam felt horrible for making her feel that way. He looked down before feeling her hands on either side of his face, her thumbs softly stroking his cheeks. “Liam, I promise you with all my heart, and everything I am, that there is nothing on this earth that could take me away from you. My husband and my daughter are the greatest joys of my life. A world without the two of you is not a world I would ever even want to think about.”

In that moment, all Liam could think about was being as close to her as he possibly could. He desperately needed to feel her body tangled with his. He surged forward and kissed her with everything he had. It was a kiss loaded with love, longing, and need. He lowered Riley from her seated position and rolled on top of her.

“Show me.” He whispered.

“Yes, my king.”

He shuddered at her words. Pinning her hands above her head, he slowly rolled his hips into her so that she could feel just how desperate he was for his wife. Riley closed her eyes and moaned at the sensation.

Liam’s mouth moved to her ear, nipping at the lobe before saying in a commanding, yet tender tone, “Open your eyes Riley, I want you to see everything I am going to do to you.”

Riley’s eyes opened as she met Liam’s hungry gaze. “Yes, my king.”

“Good girl.” He kissed her deeply, removing one hand from hers and slowly moving it down her body, traveling the familiar curves that drove him crazy time and time again.

Liam’s lips moved away from hers, treading across her jawline and down her neck. Riley hissed at the feeling of his teeth running along her tender skin. “Liam, calm down. You’re going to leave marks.”

“Good, they will serve as a reminder that you belong here, with me.”

Riley freed her wrists from Liam’s grasp and brought his face to hers. “Liam, I don’t need a reminder, I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere.”

He silenced her with a searing kiss. One hand traced the curve of her breast as the other traveled downward, rubbing her center through her panties. “You’re so wet for me already, love.”

All Riley could do was groan in response. She felt his lips return to her neck, as his hands traveled to the hem of her tank top, he gently lifted the shirt over her head and deposited it on the floor. His mouth continued its descent, kissing her shoulder and quickly moving to her breast, taking the nipple into his mouth, slowly circling it with his tongue. He kissed across her chest, paying the same attention to the other breast.

The quiet moans and whimpers coming from his wife were the encouragement Liam needed to continue moving south, kissing down her torso until he was met with the waistband of her panties. He paused and looked up at her.

“Liam, please.” She whispered, desperate for him to remove the lacy barrier.

He gave her a wolfish grin before taking them between his teeth and quickly dragging them down her legs. Once they were removed, he lifted her foot and softly kissed the inside of her ankle, his lips moved at a painfully slow speed, resting her leg over his shoulder as he moved closer to her wanting center.

As soon as Riley felt Liam’s breath on her glistening core, her own breath hitched. Liam heard it, and it satisfied him to know that in that moment she needed him just as much as he needed her. He tantalizingly licked up the length of her slit until he reached her sensitive nub.

She gasped as he began sucking and licking, his tongue moving in calculated circles. He knew her body inside and out, he knew just what to do to her to get the reaction he wanted.

Riley’s hands quickly found their way to Liam, running her fingers through his hair and gripping tightly guiding him exactly where she needed him. The pressure caused Liam to moan into her, Riley felt the vibration against her body and trembled.

Sensing that she was close to her release, he slowly slid one finger inside of her, and curled it slightly. She bucked her hips and moaned Liam’s name, that was all the invitation he needed to add a second finger.

“Yes Liam, don’t stop.”

He looked up at her with an unmistakable mix of lust and adoration. “Never, Riley.” Before continuing his efforts, causing Riley to plummet over the edge, loudly moaning his name. He worked through her release, savoring every second of her ecstasy.

As she started to come down from her release, Liam kissed a path up her stomach, positioning himself on top of her. Once they were face to face he kissed her deeply.

Their tongues intertwined, and Riley’s hands drifted to the front of Liam’s pajama pants, palming his hardness through the fabric eliciting a deep groan from him. Riley smiled into the kiss, moving her hand into his pants, wrapping it around his length and pumping slowly.

“Mmm...are you ready to take all of me, love?” He asked as he thrust into her hand.

Riley nipped at his bottom lip before responding. “Yes Liam, I need you.”

He quickly removed his pants, lining himself up with her entrance. Pressing his forehead to hers, and looking deep into her eyes, he eased himself into her carefully, desperate to feel every inch of her. He paused for a moment, allowing her to adjust before slowly rocking his hips against her.

As they moved together, Liam began sucking and nibbling on Riley’s earlobe. Riley whimpered in response, her hands running up and down his muscular back. She wrapped her legs around him and dug her heels into him, urging him to move faster. He complied, and almost immediately, he felt her walls starting to clench around him.

“That’s it Riley. Cum for me, love.” He locked eyes with her again, bringing one hand to her cheek to ensure she held his gaze through her release.

Riley’s back arched as she lost control, the muscles in her body tensed, and she screamed out in pleasure. “Oh god Liam, yes!”

Watching and feeling Riley come undone was all Liam needed to push him over the edge. He thrust into her one last time with a guttural groan as he filled her with his seed.

They laid still for several moments, Liam resting his face in the crook of Riley’s neck, breathing in her scent as his breathing slowly began to return to normal. He then removed himself from her and laid on his back, pulling Riley to his side. She rested her head on his chest, and he responded by planting a gentle kiss on the crown of her head.

“Are you feeling better?” She tilted her head up to look at him.

He stroked her cheek and smiled softly at her. “Much. Thank you Riley.” Their lips met in a brief kiss.

“Good. Now please try to get some sleep, we’re going to have a lot to figure out in the morning.”

“Of course. Riley?”

She looked up at him, eyelids heavy. “Hmm?”

“I love you, so much.” He kissed her on her forehead.

She smiled and leaned into him, placing several light kisses on his chest. “I love you too, Liam. Always.”

He let out a content sigh and tightened his arms around his wife as they both drifted off to sleep.

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@burnsoslow

Liam x Riley:

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remmushound · 3 years ago

Text

Beyond the bay part 21: Trouble in paradise

Summary: Raph encounters a friend

Tags: @brightlotusmoon @selfindulgenz @ilo-artistry @dakotafinely

Content warning (more severe warnings will be colored red so triggers can be avoided while reading) - swears, violence, blood, capitals/bold, passing mention of r*pe, mentions of lynching, mentions of Murder, mentions of violence involving a child

It was Raphael’s decision to split the team into thirds. Three patrols, split evenly between teams of two. They could get the patrol done three times as fast as they could otherwise, even if not everyone was happy with who they were paired with. Raph had been hoping to get paired with Raphael or Michelangelo— hell, he would have even been happy with the younger, weirder theatre version on Donnie! The only one he didn't want to get paired with was the one he was paired with: Leonardo. He didn't have anything against the kid but, to put it bluntly, he was pissed. Pissed that his Mikey was hurt and pissed there was nothing he could do about it and pissed he would get stuck with someone so much like his Mikey when he just wanted to blow off some steam. How could he be mad when every time he looked at Leonardo all he saw was his baby brother that couldn’t come with them? The one he had left back at the lair?

Leonardo seemed just as thrilled to be paired with Raph. Though in front of the team he had put up a wall of excitement, that wall ebbed away the moment he and Raph were off on their own with no one else around to witness them. With no other authority in sight, they could do whatever they wanted! And Leonardo knew exactly what he wanted.

Raph almost didn't stop in time when Leonardo stood abruptly in front of him, nearly colliding with the several-feet smaller slider. Neither spoke, Raph biting his lip and expecting the one who had stopped him to say something while Leonardo seemed content in drawing out the whole awkward encounter as long as possible.

“Ssssomething I can help you with?” Raph prompted finally.

“Let’s cut the shit.” Said Leonardo, and Raph winced at the swear that felt wrong coming from someone like Leonardo. “You don’t want to be here with me, that much is obvious.”

“It’s not—“

“Buh-buh-buh!” Leonardo waggled a finger, “Let me finish.”

Raph grumbled, wishing he could just reach out and snap that annoying, wagging finger, but he motioned for Leonardo to carry on.

“I don’t want to be here with you either.” Leonardo said, and then he motioned to the lack of others. “No one is here forcing us to be together. We have an hour before we have to meet back with the others, and we can do whatever we want with that hour. We don’t have to be together.”

“You’re saying…?” Raph didn't want to assume even when he was almost certain of what Leonardo met. Better safe than sorry, especially with a Leo.

“You go do your thing, I go do my thing, and neither of us talk about this again.”

Raph’s head tilted, jaw tightening, as he tried to make some sense of Leonardo’s still and confident expression. It certainly reminded him of his Leo in many ways, even if it looked strange on a face so much younger. This seemed like something his Leo might do too; there were a lot of ways they were similar, even if it was only now just coming to Raph’s attention. The way Leonardo stood, and the way he raised his eye bridge in a ‘what are you gonna do’ manner. The way he snorted a sharp breath out his nose when Raph took too long answering.

Raph decided not to risk any more delay. Hoping he wouldn’t regret this, Raph brought his hand to swipe at his jaw just to distract himself.

“Yeah. Right. Sounds good.”

“Sounds good.” Leonardo echoed with a nod, eyes still watching, always watching.

“But just uh. Just one thing first.” Raph said, raising a finger. “What do you have to do that’s so damned important?”

Leonardo didn't like that; it was written all over his face. “I could ask you the same question.”

Raph swore internally. This was a godsend— an opportunity to get away— and he really hoped he hadn’t just ruined his chances. This was a good thing, and who was he to question what Leonardo wanted to do when he wasn’t willing to tell the same? It wasn’t anything bad, just blowing off some steam! And only on people who deserved it! Just because Leo insisted they not get involved in petty robberies, that they avoid being seen, didn't mean Raph couldn’t help some poor bloke caught down in the wrong alley.

“Fine.” Raph made his decision. “I won’t ask if you won’t ask.”

“And I won’t.” Leonardo tossed his arms in the air, lowered his chin, and backed slowly until he was standing right on the edge of the building, “Meet back here in an hour, and don’t be late.”

Leonardo fell backward. Raph was expecting such antics, but when it happened he couldn’t help but rush to the edge of the building to look— to watch as Leonardo plummeted quickly toward the streets below, making no effort to stop or slow, almost as if he was reclining on the air. At the very last moment he swiped his odachi and was gone in a flash of blue.

Raph let himself breathe. He doubted he would ever get used to that. He was alone now, free to do whatever he wanted. And he knew exactly what he wanted.

~~~

These streets, these dark New York streets, were filled with just the type of scum Cassandra Jones hunted on the nightly. The type who’d rob a man and leave him with a knife in the gut. The type who’d rip a woman’s dress to ribbons while her screams of help went unheard, for who would help woman who screamed rape? No one would. But if they screamed fire? Well, help would be right on the way then. These were the types that would whine about their tires being slashed, and in that same breath slash the throat of another. Cruel. Thoughtlessly violent. At least when Cassandra had those violent events, hers were justified! Not just cruelty for cruelty sake.

These men she had been tracking deserved every ounce of fury they had coming. Cowardly people who came in the night, stole what was hers. Burned down the one good thing she’d had ever. When she was in the Foot Clan, she had grown used to not having anything of her own. Her room, her food, even her clothes were shared between all of the clan as a unit. No one had property of their own, and she had never even considered such a thing as private possession until she had gotten out. Until she had worked and toiled and slaved and bought a place of her own, a bakery— a business! Just for it to be burned to the ground because of who she was, and who her friends were. She couldn’t let that stand. She couldn’t let them get away with it, and she wouldn’t.

She found them.

They didn't see it coming. How could they? Cassandra’s outfit was the most unassuming black hoodie, skin-tight black leggings clinging tight to her form. Black gloves, black combat boots, black everything! Except for her mask. Her favorite, custom hockey mask. If one were to have nothing more than a quick glance at her, a figure moving in the nights shadows, they might assume the being was nothing more than a floating demon's face come to punish their sine or else drag them to the pits of inferno forever. Everything about the mask was Cassandra’s own: the piercing yellow paint, the red-streaking adornments like blood across the helm, and with two horns tipped red. There were red circles around the eye-holes too, and fangs painted on around the mouth, pulling her appearance into a permanent state of anger.

SLASH went her naginata, making contact with the first goon. Like a geyser came blood from the wound, and in that same moment it alerted the rest of the gang of Cassandra’s presence. She didn't care; stealth was hardly her specialty, and even if it was these guys had nothing on her. They may have grown up on the streets, but she owned the streets, and she was furious! Not even a bull rhino could stop her charge.

“HOLY FUCK!” Yelled the lead goon upon firing his gun. He missed; he was an awful shot.

Cassandra fell into a ninja run, arms stuck out behind her as she all but teleported to the lead goon, bringing the shaft of her naginata swinging for an abdomen shot. A sharp crack, and a gasp. Blood spilling from his mouth. He stumbled, and he fell back with nothing but the trash to cushion his fall. That face. Cassandra recognized that face from somewhere.

A knife slashed through the air and through Cassandra’s momentary stupor. Cassandra reached back, locking her wrist into the attacker's wrist. She gained leverage on him— who, after all, would expect someone so small to have such strength?— and she swung his blade-wielding arm right back around until it pierced through the soft flesh of his side. He screamed, and he fell aside clutching the wound. Another enemy stepped up to take his place.

Ninja stars, stored safely in the loose sleeves of Cassandra’s hoodie, flew out and assaulted the remaining men. Even if she wasn’t a ninja anymore, her old tricks would always come in handy, especially when beating bad-guy butt! More screams, more wounds, more blood. Except this time the men started to flee down the alley, trying to escape the wrath of the unseen demon.

“Oh no you don’t…”

Cassandra’s voice was a low growl as she pursued them. How could she let them walk away so easily when they stole everything from her? They weren’t that fast, not by her standards, and she was able to leave them with several slashes from her naginata for the road before she stopped at the end of the alleyway. They would need medical attention, perhaps go several grand in debt, for those wounds to be taken care of. She wanted more, but she knew her limits, and she knew there was no use creating more loose ends by killing the careless bastards.

There was one loose end she still had to tie up. The lead goon had been left behind, unable to stand, unable to run. He was still choking on his own blood, maybe from some internal injuries. Cassandra’s hatred waned at the sight of the pathetic dying man. She hadn’t intended so much injury just from one blow, and she was even debating calling an ambulance for him before…

She realized where she knew that face from, and it wasn’t from when he had burned down her bakery. She knew those eyes— those cold, dark eyes. The first time she had seen those eyes they had had an evil glint in them, evil that couldn’t be considered human. A face among the crowd, too proud to cover his identity like some as they hanged that poor child from the overpass and then paraded her body through the streets. She knew that face, and now she held no sympathy.

She lashed her naginata again, and again. She knew which parts of him she could slice and cut up without him dying because that would be too much of a mercy to him. His screams were nothing to her. His pleas of mercy, nothing. He was nothing. When the naginata wasn’t enough anymore, she resheathed it and just started to kick the absolute hell out of him.

“Hey.”

She didn't register the deep Brooklynn voice, and just kept kicking.

“HEY! Hey hey hey!”

Hands as wide as she was grabbed her around the waist and pulled her kicking and fighting away from the man that was now lying concerningly still.

“I think ya got him!”

All it took was a second for her to grab her blade and swing it out at whoever it was that had grabbed her; it took only half of that time for the massive wall of a mutant to step back. Another second, and Cassandra recognized the great green giant with a rush of glee.

“RAPH!”

She tossed herself at the mutant turtle, not for an attack but for a hug. Raph caught her quite easily in one arm, holding the woman securely to his chest and laughing as she tried in vain to wrap her arms around him.

“Hey— hey, easy girl!” Raph let the hug go on for a few seconds more before sitting Cassandra back down on the ground. “Don’t hurt yourself.”

Raph had hardly recognized the woman when he had seen her from the vantage of the rooftops; in fact, the only reason he had realized it was her was when he saw the weapon. The hockey mask helped too, but it was mostly that naginata of hers. Looking at her standing there before him, she seemed like a completely different person than the one he remembered. She was still slender as far as humans went, but now it was more of a natural slender than the starved body she had before. A healthy layer of fat now covered her belly and her hips to protect the muscle beneath— her face was a little rounder too.

“You lookin’ good.” Raph said with a nod, “Still a little shortcake though.”

Cassandra, wanting to get a better look at Raph, decided to remove her mask. Raph’s eyes widened at the sight of the new mass of hair that Cassandra had grown, a mess of greasy black that wasn’t unlike a shaggy dog's coat, held back with a yellow bandana so it was just barely under control.

“I’m five feet of whoop ass and I’ll whoop yours, don’t test me.”

Raph threw his head back and rumbled a deep belly laugh. “Trust me, I won’t. I’ve been on the wrong end of a little lady’s wrath once or twice before. Nice hair, by the way.”

“Thanks.” Cassandra beamed, “It’s never been this long before! I think I like it.”

“Yeah, yeah, suits you nice.” Raph cleared his throat. He nodded toward the bloodied figure. “Did uh. That guy deserve the beating or?”

“He deserves more than that.” Cassandra spat on him; she wasn’t even mad about her bakery being burned down anymore. Well— she was still mad about it, but not in that moment. “The bastard had it coming.”

“Still.” Raph said softly, like a kind parent addressing a child, “You’d’ve killed him.”

“I wouldn’t have.” Cassandra said in a low tone. “I know better. I’ve done this before.”

Raph breathed through his nose and shook his head. He knew that look of hatred in Cassandra’s eyes— he had felt that look before, and had that same look directed at him. He cupped a hand across the length of Cassandra’s back and started to guide her away toward the fire escape. She listened reluctantly.

“Come on— let’s scram before the cops get here. You weren’t exactly being quiet you know.”

And up to the rooftop they went, several buildings down from the scene, but Cassandra still had that look. That look that Raph hated.

“What did those guys do to deserve that, CJ?”

“It’s personal…” Cassandra just barely muttered.

“Too personal to share?”

“Ask my turtles; they can explain it better. What are you doing here?”

“It’s personal.”

Cassandra smirked. “Too personal to share?”

Raph smiled despite himself and shook his head. “No, no it’s not.” He told her everything, and Cassandra got even more riled up.

“Seriously?! That fucked up man!” She was practically radiating chaotic energy, starting to swing her fists like a boxer, “Where are they? I’ll take em on! Right here, right now, no mercy! I wanna kick some Jurassic Ass!”

“Actually, triceratops’ are from the cretaceous.”

“Does that really matter?”

Raph pursed his lips. “No, I guess not. But… now that I told you my personal bizz, can you tell me yours? Maybe I can help.”

Cassandra looked at Raph. She considered her options, bit her lip, and decided on one.

“They burned down my bakery. It was also my house but that’s less important.”

“Cassandra…” Raph’s voice held nothing but sympathy. “Damn. Sorry to hear that. Do you have a place to stay or…?”

“April’s letting me crash at her crib which is suuuuuuuper dope! And I got a security deposit on the place so…”

“Well, I’m not excusing what they did, but is that really grounds for a murder?” He tried not to laugh— it just slipped out.

“That wasn’t my plan.” Cassandra smiled a tired smile, “I was just gonna beat ‘em up and make them pay reimbursement for my shop. Then I realized who he was.”

“Who is he?”

“A few months ago there was a live broadcast on ABC news. A bunch of guys wearing masks hung a mutant from an overpass and then dragged her body down the interstate. He was one of them.”

Raph’s breath caught. “Oh…”

“It was just a kid. The… guys were never caught until now.” She stared at listful at the flashes of red and blue in the distance, signaling that the man she had attacked was found. Rescued; a blessing that little kitten he slaughtered hadn’t been lucky enough to receive.

“I didn't know.” Raph said; he didn't even know mutants had been exposed here! Shouldn’t that have been important enough to mention. “What about the rest of them guys that got away?”

“I’ll find them.” Cassandra was confident.

“And… would they be gettin’ the same treatment as they boss?”

“I can’t know if they were involved. They might be like me. The Foot Clan did… a lot of things I wanted nothing to do with. If they’re the same as me it’s no use. But I am gonna rob em though.”

Raph laughed and pulled back his lips to show off his teeth. “Mind if I join ya?”

Cassandra blinked, and then smiled. “I would be honored.”

#tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt #tmnt au #tmnt 2014 #tmnt 2016 #bay turtles

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