#Not dying and there was no reason to be so dramatic about it
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Rating Reactions to Seeing Shinigami for the First Time
A comprehensive (and probably biased) list :-)
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Chapter 1 - Light
Falls on the floor and screams, then recomposes himself and very unconvincingly pretends he expected this. This is the first we get to see of Light's Perfectly Normal And Chill Guy persona and I have to say it's not a strong introduction to his acting skills. He gets points for entertainment value though, and also for managing to scream without attracting the attention of his family???
Rating: 8/10
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Chapter 7 - Kiichiro Osoreda
This is the guy who performs the bus-jacking that forces Raye to show his ID. It's a very entertaining scene, but he's being controlled and his reaction is therefore inauthentic, which makes it difficult to give him an accurate rating.
Rating: 0/10
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Chapter 26 - L
This one doesn't technically count because L is merely hearing about Shinigami rather than seeing one, but it's too good not to include. He silently falls off his chair while actively solving a murder case in which the main cause of death has been heart attacks. Naturally the entire task force panics and thinks he's dying, and he does nothing to assuage these concerns. Absolutely iconic of him. Also makes for brilliant foreshadowing.
Rating: 10/10
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Chapter 46 - Misa
We don't get to see Misa's very first reaction to meeting Rem, but we DO see their reunion during the Yotsuba arc, and she is horrified. She screams just like Light and L did, and her fear persists as long as Rem's hand is covering her mouth. She reacts pretty much how I would expect the average person to.
Rating: 5/10
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Chapter 53 - Soichiro
Another pretty standard reaction. Falls backwards, screams and immediately reaches for his gun. Nothing remarkable about it.
Rating: 3/10
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Chapter 53 - Aizawa
Exact same reaction as Soichiro, but he gets extra points because this panel of them both panting on the floor is utterly delightful. The eyes?? The pose???? They look like a pair of petrified crabs. I'm obsessed.
Rating: 8/10
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Chapter 53 - L (again)
L has heard that Shinigami exist and already knows that there's a "monster" attached to the notebook, so he's not surprised at all by the time he actually sees Rem. Instead, he starts having such an intense and paralysing epiphany that he doesn't even notice Light taking the Death Note from him. The least dramatic reaction so far but incredibly on-brand for him in every way.
Rating: 6/10
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Chapter 70 - Rod Ross
Freaks out once he actually sees Sidoh, but he's incredibly relaxed about the notebook flying beforehand. His line "I wouldn't be surprised if it's alive" is hilariously ironic given that the notebook does turn out to have a living component to it, and this does, in fact, surprise him.
Rating: 7/10
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Chapter 70 - Kal Snydar
One of my favourite reactions purely for the implication that Rod might have recruited an 8-foot-tall man in a monster costume. Perfectly reasonable assumption to make.
Rating: 9/10
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Chapter 70 - Mello
Much like L, everyone around him is panicking, but he stays impressively nonchalant. Immediately starts plotting ways to manipulate the demon creature for his own gain. This is essentially L's reaction if he was 90% more unhinged.
Rating: 10/10
~~~
Chapter 101 - Near
Only character to look genuinely happy about seeing the Shinigami which is an instant 10 for me. He gets an extra point for having the most precious smile ever <3
Rating: 11/10
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what are your thoughts on nde for either eddie or buck in 8x08? me personally, im thinking buck is gonna get the nde, and i think he’s gonna be shot. tim recreating s4/5 when he originally wanted to do buddie, but what im thinking, is buck realizes his feelings for eddie but doesn’t want to/doesn’t know if he should tell him, then he gets shot and it’s all dramatic and eddie is there and freaking out, trying to save him and keep him alive (aka why they’re pushing medic eddie so much this season) and buck realizes this might be his last chance so he just goes for it anyway and while he’s bleeding out he tells eddie he loves him😭 i know this is probably not what’s gonna happen but lol i just enjoy theories and i always love to hear what you think!
adding onto this, i ALSO saw around twitter the theory that buck would get a nde, but he gets hit by a car or just in a car accident in general, and eddie is there and it parallels shannon’s death (obviously buck doesn’t die but you get the memo😆)
Hi, darling! Okay, I don't mean to shit on anyone's specs, but I think either of them getting shot again would be so uninspired. The show is slowly reintroducing new ways to pull the triggers they put down for buddie because they need to address the stuff that happened to them somehow, but a direct mirrored parallel to the shooting wouldn't work as well as everyone seems to think it would. Partially because I think that forcing Buck to confess because he (or Eddie) is dying is yet another way to take away Buck's agency and further attach Buck to the idea he's only worthy of love when someone bleeds. But also because putting one of them in the position to be doing the saving again won't really further their storyline. Eddie watched Buck in a nde twice, the bombing and the lightning, and Buck watched Eddie in a nde twice, the well and the shooting, and I think they need a combined trigger, aka a combined nde.
I am attached to my drown Buck theory, have them off duty, crash the car, end up trapped and the car filling with water, but I also think that the trapped dads theory also works a lot here, especially if you put them both in the situation while off duty, aka without gear or backup, and you can play with a lot of elements of every nde before that and create a catalyst for them to talk and figure themselves out. I also think everyone is getting ahead of themselves, I don't think they are in the place to get that catalyst yet, and 2 episodes are not enough to get them there when we are talking about an ensemble show. I feel like people are expecting a direct callback because we got a well callback and are getting a lightning callback, but while buddie was front and center during the well callback, they actually used it to further Chim at first. It works to get the audience thinking about different aspects of their past, which in turn makes it so that when they talk about it, it will be in our minds, but it doesn't explicitly address the implications with buddie. I think the lightning callback will be a lot about reminding Buck of whatever it was that he was supposed to learn with it the first time around that they never truly explored due to the network switch and Natalia not coming back. I also think that confronting the situation where Buck almost died and possibly watching a freshly heartbroken Buck be impulsive can push Eddie to look at some stuff that would push him into action to figure himself out.
Especially if @stagefoureddiediaz ends up right and the lightning callback ends up being a truck bombing callback too since the well callback is also a subtle callback to the kids on the cliff call in 304 and could be played into different directions when it comes to what comes out from it moving forward. Buddie has a lot to talk about, but they need a reason to think about the stuff they need to talk about on their own before getting to a point where they can actually have those conversations. I think they rely too much on how well they understand each other that they fail to consider the way they can't actually read each other's minds, and figuring that part out is important before pushing them to the catalyst. And please don't get me wrong, I'm like, 90% sure that the catalyst will be another nde, I just don't think it's gonna happen until 8b.
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Me: I think I'm a very rational person and not dramatic at all
Also me: AHH MY LEG HURTS. THIS IS THE END. I'M DYING!!
#Not a drarry chat#I'm not dramatic at all#This is why i love drama queen draco so much#The pain in my leg went away the next morning. I still don't know what happened for it to hurt ALL NIGHT but I'm alright now so I guess I'm#Not dying and there was no reason to be so dramatic about it
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anyway there is actually a couple things that niggled a bit at me from atsv but OVERALL very good very very good film
#pavitr makes up for any problem in that movie just by his presence#across the spiderverse#across the spiderverse spoilers#but seriously: (and there is gonna b spoilers in these tags so watch out)#the pacing was kind of off? it felt like introduction right up until the big SNAP of the climax and then the denouement dragged a little#like me i was pleased that there was more movie to watch but as a structure thing i felt like the movie was JUST ABOUT to end#for like... the whole last 45min or so i think#this is a personal complaint but GIVE ME MORE SPIDERMAN INDIA. THANKS#miles did him such a solid and then he vanished immediately for almost the whole rest of the movie whats up with that!!#hobie too hobie was the MVP fr and he peaced out way too early as well#it wouldve been so nice to see just one person being fully on miles' side helping him out and they---#(pavitr especially)---#wouldve had such a good reason to stand up for him!#more real complaint: i understand why earth 42 miles had more of an accent in a watsonian sense bc his dad died and he was raised more---#---by his spanish-speaking mom#but. uh. the doylist idea that Evil Miles has a stronger accent than Good Miles is... not the best implications chief!#and why tf was this movie so focused on cops. yes i know it was a dramatic device to parallel miles and gwen's fathers#(as well as pavitrs girlfriends dad)#and making them all police captains as the precursor to them dying is for ~drama~ so the characters+audience#get the cue of 'this is the point of no return where they become Doomed By The Narrative'#(and subsequently understand the cue of 'no longer doomed' like with gwens dad)#but like. why make that cue a cop thing??? why not have it be like. anything else? the cop thing isn't important#those people are important bc theyre FAMILY or loved ones who are dragged into spidermans fight through their circumstances#Why Are We So Obsessed With Cops. Riddle Me That. i just dont see the point#<<< dont get me wrong its a great movie and i love it!! but there are still some nitpicks yknow#gotta get it out so i can go back to the happy
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I JUST FINISHED SONIC FRONTIERS AND. ARE YOU FOR REAL. ARE YOU FREAKING FOR REAL
RIGHT AFTER I POSTED MY LONG ANALYSIS ABOUT HOW GIRLS IN SONIC GAMES ARE PRACTICALLY AN ENDANGERED SPECIES
#deerchatter#sonic frontiers#sage the ai#sonic frontiers spoilers#caps cw#yes im putting this in all the tags. look at my post boy#linking the post in question in a reblog#also yeah yeah yeah i know about the post-credits scene but YOU CANNOT TELL ME WE'RE EVER ACTUALLY SEEING SAGE AGAIN#sega's gonna read 1 review calling her cringe and be like get RID of the girl character we can't let people know we CAN'T WRITE WOMEN#sage is going to pop up as an unvoiced unlockable character in a spin-off phone game once and maybe get a comic cameo#this is so funny. it's so so so funny. literally like 3 days after i posted that analysis#she hits all the qualifiers too. supporting female character in her debut game going through emotional turmoil and dying at the end#to save a male recurring character she cares about and protect the world. she even got a dramatic space explosion like cosmo#the absolute comedic timing of it all. im crying but not for the reasons the game wanted me to i don't think#sonic frontiers was great otherwise btw had a lot of fun collected a lot of shapes 7/10 fun times good times lol#sketchertalkssth
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I miss talking to my friends genuinely but also I have very much overstayed my welcome everywhere and it's too late (I got VERY annoying near the end + fell out of a major interest which didn't help. my bad yall 😔) I feel like I should remake at this point and just move on but also. move on to what
#goddamn its fucking confetti again#go back#like at this point nobody wants me around because of obvious reasons but also#part of me would rather be distantly known as instead of being completely forgotten 💀#love my inability to keep up with anyone despite wanting to so bad#either becuase i cant fucking remember or because eventually i either become intensely annoying or intensely boring#im already a fraction of how active as i was like even a year and a half ago. Would it even matter if i remade. Probably not#WORST lesbian dream of my life was dreaming about bayojeanne and having every single positive feeling i felt about them and then waking#and remembering i can never go back to that. I dont even care about bayo 3 anymore i just know i was MAD annoying#and i cant just to it even if i wanted#and then it started making me spiral about everything even unrelated to it#pain. So much pain. Lets take ibuprofen together#ok thinking about it most of everyone probably doesnt even remember me and arent actively annoyed by me so. Maybe thats better#thats probably better#uhrmm thid got long lol sorry i dont really hsve access to a place to talk anymore so i kind of just go here#bc this tumblr is filled with dead followers and so its safer snd less likely it gets seen#not to be dramatic but this must br what dying feels like lol
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Ok I’m at the end of the final case of aai1 and I was SO convinced the “true villain” guy was going to end up being that one ambassador that kept trying to give you coupons, but it’s looking like it’s the other one
#he was TOO happy!!#the lack of fucks about someone actually dying in his office??#the real reason for him to have beef with Manny Coachen??#‘yeah he sure got angry at me a lot’#and his sprites were suspicious to me too??#I’ve played a lot of aa games and I was so sure they were gonna do the like.#dramatic reveal where he becomes almost a different character with him#bc his demeanor + smile felt really forced#and that one sprite where he looks serious for once that rlly clashes with the rest…#anyways#aai spoilers#aai collection#aa investigations#gaming
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Cramp but can’t tell why my worst enemy
#muscle spasm anxiety haven’t eaten eaten too much eaten wrong got slightly scared about something and thought I moved on but now I’m sick to#my stomach thought about Father’s Day period jumpscare stressed about travel I’m secretly dying I’m just being dramatic or imagining it#so many reasons it could be
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I'm not fucking listening to a video on geopolitics if you're gonna but dramatic fucking generic as shitty movie music in the background
This isn't Batman trying to figure out what the Joker is up to, this is real world shit going on, and I'm fairly familiar with the subject and you just happened to have a detail I don't know as much about in your title
So I'm like cool, let me learn about what's going on with that
Well I'm clearly not gonna with your shitty video. You're a backwards clickbaiting moron trying to drum up investment using techniques I think are cheap and bland in even movies, so why would I want them here?
You absolute pissant, you fucking stain on society, you're a worthless little idiot with nothing useful to say that's trying to turn important shit into entertainment and I think you suck ass
Fucking hell, imagine I talked about the US economy while playing bad dramatic music in the background, it would be stupid
I clearly know more about this than you, for an american civilian with no special access to information, I'm probably one of the better informed people on this subject. Your yank ass can fuck off cause it's really only people actually from the area and actual professionals that are gonna know more than me on this
I am actually annoyed, and I'm just annoyed by every last fucking thing being turned into entertainment by random little internet parasite
#bitch I know plenty about kaliningrad and the suwalki gap#what I don't know is what's actually going on in kaliningrad at the moment or how it's being used at this exact moment#it doesn't directly impact stuff going on in Ukraine; and that's the stuff I keep up with#so I'm just like... ok; lets hear about the state of kaliningrad; what's happening there at the moment#(other than a pretty good chance of electronic warfare coming out of there; I assume that's the origin of interference in flights and stuff#like I know a reasonable amount about the black sea fleet... I know more or less nothing about the baltic fleet... update me#but you fucking can't you drooling clickbait idiot#'the suwalki corridor' blah blah blah blah; ancient news; everyone fucking already knows about the Bild's article about a possible attack#I don't lend it much credibility; not unless russia succeeded in Ukraine which we damn well better not let happen#yap yap yap; you got nothing of value to say to me#I'm not saying I'm a genius with this (though I seem to understand things better than many western politicians)#(like the strategic short shortsightedness is astounding; removing every ounce of humanity)#but like I said; for an american I'm well informed; it's really only experts (some) and eastern europeans who are likely to know more#I know about the Kharkiv front and I know about how western policy on not using western weapons on russian territory#really was a key factor in it happening; and I know about the change in policy that just happened#I don't follow the frontline cause... I stopped being able to emotionally keep up with each meter of ground being fought for#but I know the broadstroke and I know how many Ukrainians die because of the west failing to provide support#and I understand the importance of stopping russia to help deter China#so what exactly do you have to teach me youtube boy with your shitty dramatic music#this isn't a game; this isn't a show; people are dying and I haven't got time for you
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Honestly, I don’t feel like I get lost more often without GPS (I use the present tense because my data plan is unreliable enough that I often have to navigate the old-fashioned way) - it’s just that corrections are MUCH faster and easier. But with or without GPS, I *will* manage to miss turns because I’m distracted by traffic or “is that a road?” or whatever, and I *will* have to double back.
Which is why I usually try to learn several of the *wrong* ways to go as well, so that I can recognize that missed turn more quickly. That’s even more critical without GPS - “If I see X major road or Y major landmark, I’ve overshot and need to go back.”
I still navigate unfamiliar cities by the subway map and local signs just fine, which is good because there’s not much my phone can do to make public transit make more sense.
#we have a fun story about me helping my sis navigate in 2006#just a bit before smartphones & sis had no gps#we knew how to get from other sister's college to our home#but my sisters were trying to meet me to surprise our mother at a third location and since they were running late#i was trying desperately to triangulate an alternate route#when they hit impossible traffic on the obvious way in i was left with an atlas and my wits#since the internet at that point wasn't good at figuring for traffic and kept sending me back into the jam with them#also sis's cell phone was dying#and she's yelling that i'm trying to kill her#bc alternate route was apparently Spooky and Dark#and she was low on gas#it's a great story bc other sis was in the passenger seat laughing at the driver's dramatic distress#also bc we met at third location just in time to surprise mom together so it's a great drama with an ending#but the reason they were late#was partly sis managing to miss crucial highway exits three times#by which i mean missing Ginormous Interchange and not realizing it for miles#bless her gps was invented for her#my sense of direction isn't the greatest but i know how to allow for it and compensate#and i'm GREAT at backtracking
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💭.
#got curious about buzzly for whatever reason and it looks like that sote is dying too ?#like fr dying like staff quitting or devs not doing much or simply not knowing ?#WHY does it keep happening .. why do these indie art sites keep dying#and dramatically too? theres always some shady shit that gets known#its obviously a pattern but likee. why#ots so disappointing bc i love that ppl are willing to put money and time into these things and then it just dies anyway#it feels like everyones going wrong in the same area but what area is that
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I really should stop thinking about death every time I face any difficulties.
#why am I so pathetic it’s just unbearable#how do I even live like that#well apparently if you once have sucicidal thoughts you’ll have them forever#maybe I just need help…#or am I just dramatizing#either way it’s probably not normal#if I come to talk with someone they would never say that they think about dying on a daily basis#and you know what’s worst#is that I don’t even have the reason for it#I have family I have friends I have someone who would care#I have hobbies I have a big project that brings me joy#I have plans for the future#I’m recovering from my impairments#I have everything I never had in the past yet I feel more miserable than before#and I don’t understand why#I don’t understand why I can’t feel attached to my life I don’t understand why it takes me nothing to think about ending it#I don’t understand why I constantly need a reminder that there’s hope no matter what#I don’t understand why I can’t be one of these careless girls who love life and never overthink every instant of it#I don’t fucking understand what I’ve ever done to end up in this place#I’m fucking tired of living in the bottom and just occasionally see the light#when most of other people I know live their lives the other way around#with constantly seeing the light and just occasionally ending up in the bottom#I just fucking don’t understand and I’m so tired#ignore it I’m just being emotional and I can’t help it
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Why Can't I Keep My Fingers Off You? [Part 2] - G.S.
Synopsis. “Besides, Toru, just because it worked for you doesn’t mean it’ll work for me.” “Wanna bet?” For Satoru, convincing you to take the aphrodisiac chocolate too wasn’t the hard part - the hard part was being shoved into that bathroom stall, cock throbbing, mind spinning - trying not to beg for mercy.
Pairing. Gojo Satoru x Reader
Content. MDNI, fem! reader, unprotected sex, slight femdom, overstimulation (male), lots of cum, you absolutely ruin Satoru, semi-public sex, subby! Satoru, aphrodisiac sex, multiple rounds, shutting up Gojo Satoru by making him cum in his pants, pet names (darling, my girl), swearing.
Word count. 3.7k
A/N. Can be read as a standalone, but PART 1 HERE.
Bros this was mad hard to write oml. Art by @_3aem on X.
Satoru had everything he needed to absolutely ruin you tonight.
Overpriced Cartier glasses? Check.
Jet-black Hellcat freshened up, ready with a little surprise for you inside? Check.
You, all dolled up and brows furrowed adorably at him? Holy shit, check.
“Toru, if we’ve missed our reservation because you had beef with the neighborhood cat again…”
“He was looking at you wrong! I had to defend your honor!” Dramatic protests falling on deaf ears, Satoru speeds through the darkening city streets, still grumbling under his breath about “cats these days”.
With your fiancé being absolutely swamped with missions recently, you’d been anticipating this night for weeks now.
Little did you know, Satoru had just as much - if not more.
Soon enough, the neon lights of that upscale, new restaurant you’d been absolutely dying to visit recently come into view.
Okay, it’s time.
“Y’know…” he begins, glancing at you with that familiar mirthful glint in his eyes. Laughter bubbling to his throat at your knowing stare, he plows on “Remember that one night where I just so happened to come across your special chocolate?”
“You mean swiped from my secret stash?”
“Semantics” he waves off. “But anyway, I was thinking…” he voice trails off mischievously as he swiftly turns to grab the mysterious black bag sitting on the backseat that you’d been eyeing suspiciously ever since you got in the car.
Oh shit, so that’s what he was onto. Eyes widening, “Toru, no.”
He whines, a pout forming on his lips. “C’monnn, no one’s gonna know except me. I want to make this night unforgettable, my girl.”
You raise a brow, “Unforgettable? Toru, your idea of unforgettable will end up with both of us arrested.” After the madness of last time, you’d ignored his sticky note for a reason!
Letting out an exasperated sigh, you try to justify - probably to yourself just as much as Satoru, “And just because the aphrodisiac worked for you doesn’t mean it’ll work for me.”
He wiggles his eyebrows, twinkling eyes still undeterred. “Wanna bet? I’ll do the dishes for all of next month. We’ll never know till we find out, darling.”
You narrow your eyes at the hand already snaking its way inside the bag, faded finger marks from last time still searing into your skin. Catching Satoru’s gaze - behind the amusement, something else shines darkly.
Shit.
Goosebumps erupt down your spine.
A beat passes. One. Two. Only the revving of the engine filling the tense air.
“...two months.”
It’s all Satoru can do to not jump in joy in his seat right now - knowing his girl, you’ll probably take back what you said and immediately bonk him on the head for being so ridiculous.
“Deal.” he mutters lowly, pulling up to the driveway.
A flash of hot pink. In the short time it takes the valet to reach your car, Satoru has already split that too-familiar chocolate, holding out the bigger part to you, eyes gleaming with excitement. “I swear this’ll be a night you won’t forget.” he grins, biting into the chocolate.
God, he was going to be the death of you.
The decadent flavor washes over your tongue, a slight tingling on your tastebuds. But, it’s still just chocolate, right? You scoff - at least you won’t have to do the dishes for two months.
Now, Satoru knows he won’t have to do the dishes for two months.
Ah, how heavenly you’d be, splayed out and begging for mercy underneath him. Heels clacking against the polished tile and your hand warm in his as the maître d’hôtel ushers you both inside, dick twitching in anticipation. Shit, was the chocolate working already?
He risks a glance at how you’re faring - nope, still normal. That’s okay, he’ll be driving you crazy in no time.
---
Okay, maybe he won’t be driving you crazy in no time.
How dare you sit there so gorgeous and unbothered, sipping slowly on your wine while he’s here mind whirling around how he’ll fuck you right here right now on this table without getting arrested for public indecency.
Fuck, it was hitting him hard.
Cock aching, heat rushing to his cheeks, eyes bleary - he sighs in frustration, resigning himself to do the dishes for two months.
Why did he even think of this? Damn his big fucking ego, he should’ve never taken that chocolate again. Maybe if he eats you out just right he could lower it to-
A feathery touch on his thigh. Too light for any sort of friction - just enough to set his skin ablaze. So deft that Satoru thinks he must’ve imagined it.
Until there it is again. Soft caress dancing delicately up his thigh.
You.
A shiver creeps down his spine, blood rushing straight to his dick. Probably for the first time in his life, Satoru is speechless - maybe because you’ve reached underneath the table, teasingly sliding a heel along the top of his thigh.
“…darling…”
“Hmm?”
He blinks away the haze in his eyes, raising them to meet yours. “Wha-”
Oh. Oh, fuck.
What has he gotten himself into?
Eyes half-lidded, brows furrowed, and looking into his soul with a predatory glint that jolts the great Gojo Satoru right to his very core - and to his throbbing cock. He’d be lucky to make it out alive. Maybe he should just beg for his life right now.
Minutes tick by - or maybe it was seconds - Satoru is clueless. Mind only focused on the heel inching closer and closer, dangerously near to where he needed you the most. A smug smirk curls your pretty lips as his mouth drops into a soft oh.
The air crackles with an unspoken tension - his hips trying to subtly move you towards the erection furiously straining against his pants. He needed it so bad. It’s fucking pathetic, he knows. But he couldn’t give less of a fuck as your sole grazes his aching head. Pressing down. Hard.
“Fuck!”
Stomach flipping - before Satoru could fully process what the fuck was happening - he cums embarrassingly in thick spurts that pool on his pants, soaking right through the fabric, probably smearing on your new heels.
Head spinning, he bites his knuckles hard enough to draw blood, muffling the desperate moans threatening to escape his lips.
He grinds his hips in shallow, mindless motions in a desperate attempt for more friction.
Instead, he gets the opposite.
“Behave, Toru.” you warn, swiftly resting your heel back on the floor, voice strained with something that makes his sensitive dick quiver animalistically.
You huff out a chuckle at the almost-inaudible whimper of disappointment that rips from his throat. It’s laughable, really, he was supposed to be the one ruining you. This was so not fucking suave.
Face burning - whether due to the chocolate or embarrassment at the warm patch on his pants, he doesn’t even know - Satoru wishes the Earth would swallow him up whole. Would it be overkill to just teleport outta here?
The only thing that snaps Satoru out of his little reverie is your pretty lips forming into a tut. “Now now, Toru. It’s rude to make a mess at a restaurant. Why don’t we go to the restrooms and get you cleaned up, hm?”
Oh. Shit.
A firm grip on his arm, his hands desperately covering his crotch.
He was not going to make it out of this alive.
Honestly, it wasn’t hard to bribe the waitress into letting you follow into the restroom after your fiancé - and put up an Out of Order sign promptly afterward. The actual hard part was trying not to rip off his clothes and give into your desires before you two even made it there. But you couldn’t let anyone else see him like that, of course.
You were sure that if you had Satoru’s powers then you would’ve hollow purpled everyone here and taken him already.
You were going to ruin him.
Mind running a mile a minute, Satoru wouldn’t even be surprised if he’d just teleported to the restroom. If he was in a better state of mind he might’ve even admired the decor.
“My girl.” he breathes out, voice ragged. It’s all that is said before your lips are on his.
It was like a fever dream - the bruising urgency of your lips, your aching pussy, and the heat of the stall as your quickened breaths mingle in a desperate dance. Your tongue intertwining with his.
Manicured nails ripping his shirt open, you don’t have half the mind to register the designer buttons hitting the floor.
Satoru’s lips hazily chase yours as you pull away delicate strings of spit snapping just as quickly as your sanity.
Your mouth waters at Satoru’s chest in all its chiseled glory, creamy skin peeking out from whatever remnants of the shirt were clinging to his sculpted shoulders. You wanted to ruin him.
“You dirtied my heels, Toru.” you frown, mockingly innocent. A choked-up gasp leaves his throat as you snake a hand down to firmly grip the erection straining against Satoru’s wet pants. Unmoving. “What shall we do about that, hmm?”
“Ah! Please, my girl.”
“Please what? Use your words, Toru.”
“Please. Wanna cum so bad.”
Satoru learned the hard way that he could never turn back after uttering those words.
Though, he already had an inkling once you immediately slam him against the stall door, fumbling with his belt, nails digging hard into his prominent v-line. “If you say so, Toru. Better not stop till you’re shooting blanks.”
The only thing that registers in his mind is the deadbolt echoing throughout the empty bathroom and his still-rock hard cock throbbing in your hands.
“Ah- hah! Fuck.” low groans leave his throat at each jerky movement down his length.
Head thrown back, pants bunched underneath his heavy balls, your tits pressing against his body as your hands urgently move along his veined length - up, up, up.
Your thumb harshly teases his flushed head, spreading the precum from his leaking tip lewdly. “Oh God.”
His knees buckle, hands slamming against the top of the stall hard enough to make the walls tremble, desperately trying to keep himself from collapsing. Mind spinning, he doesn’t even know if he’s on planet Earth anymore.
“Toru~ Gonna let me join in on the fun?” your dangerous purr sends his cock twitching, breath hot against his ear.
Your cunt quivers, slick soaking your panties and trailing down your legs at the pornographic moans spilling from his lips as you fucked his thick cock with your fist. You wanted him so badly it was driving you insane.
Straddling a muscled thigh, your clothed core meets the fabric of his pants. It was already ruined, so what was another stain?
You grind your hips down on him, hard. Humping him like an animal in heat.
Your slick seeping into the fabric of his leg. Harsh texture stimulating your needy cunt so painfully good. Swollen folds parting, mewls of pleasure leave your swollen lips as your clit catches on the rough fabric of his overly expensive pants. Over and over.
Distantly, you register a strong hand tugging roughly on the thin fabric of your panties - easily ripping it and letting it fall to god-knows-where.
Your hand doesn’t let up either, milking Satoru’s cock mercilessly the way you’d been dying to ever since you stepped foot into his restaurant. Your head spins, hips moving so animalistically on Satoru’s thigh.
A hand reaches down to sensually massage his heavy balls, squeezing and pressing hard circles - just the way you knew he liked it.
“Oh, my girl. Always so good t’me- Ah! Hngh, gonna-”
Satoru doesn’t get to finish his sentence before he’s pumping hot ropes of seed that decorate your pretty hands. Hips fucking up into you desperately.
You’re not far behind, juices squirting all over that expensive fabric, pooling on the tiled ground with a drip! drip! drip! that bounces off the walls of the restroom.
You two were so fucking loud.
But right now, you wouldn’t even mind if anyone walked in to see your Satoru so debauched - as long as they see you fucking the soul out of him as well.
It wasn’t enough.
“You said you wanted to cum, didn’t you, Toru?”
A shiver runs down his spine - all the way to his dick. “What? W-wait, darling. Fuck- Oh!” the strained words tumble out of Satoru’s kiss-bitten lips as you push down his soaked pants, kneeling to leave a trail of hot, open-mouthed kisses down to his twitching, thick base.
“I won’t be merciful, Toru.”
Ah, you could do this forever.
Nipping teasingly till you’re satisfied with the bite marks decorating his pelvis, you pool the saliva in your mouth, spitting a long stream into his furiously flushed head.
Once. Twice. Mixing enticingly with his precum, trailing down his length. “Ah! Hngh- oh, darling. So sensitive-” he bucks his hips into you, moaning loudly.
“You can do it f’me, Toru.” you murmur darkly against his twitching tip. Satoru keens as you take him until his fat head hits the back of your throat, pulsing around your warm mouth.
Your fiancé’s choking on his breaths more than you as you hollow your mouth, bobbing up and down at a ruthless pace. Gagging, you shove his throbbing dick all the way in with a desperation that eclipses the need for air, till you’re nose-deep in those tufts of snowy hair.
“Oh, darling. Jus’ like that. Losing m’mind.” he whines.
Your pussy quivers at Satoru’s slightly salty taste, making you moan around his rock-hard length. Drool and precum dribble down the corner of your mouth, mixing with the mascara running down your cheeks. It was debauched. It was messy. And it was exactly how you wanted him.
Tonguing Satoru’s sensitive slit in a delicate dance, you feel drunk off his sinful moans as you suck on him desperately. Breathless. Craving for more.
Looking up to see a delicate streak of tears falling down his pretty face at the overstimulation, your cunt clenches around nothing. Fuck, you could just devour him.
“Cum, Toru.”
It was too much for him-
Tight balls twitching sensitively, he cums onto your ready tongue. Fucked out whimpers leave his lips, tears clinging to his long, white lashes as he paints your pretty mouth with his thick, white seed.
Ah, he was always your favorite taste. Tasted so good - so good that you could cum untouched.
And you do.
Eyes rolling to the back of your head and pussy clamping down on nothing as you reach your high.
You milk his cock ruthlessly, relishing in the thick cum flowing down your throat. But it still wasn’t enough.
Removing yourself off his dick with a lewd pop! you reach a hand to grab Satoru’s flushed throat, nails placed right over his thundering pulse. With a single tug, the great Gojo Satoru is on his knees before you, in the bathroom of some fancy restaurant.
Walls still quivering, you stand over him, connecting your sweaty forehead - and your mouth - with his.
Kiss-bitten and smeared with your lipstick, Satoru’s lips are soft - or maybe that’s the cum coating yours. A part of you delights in his half-lidded, fucked out gaze as your eyes bore into his - does he even know what he’s doing anymore?
Hot seed flowing down his throat, Satoru can do nothing else but kneel there and take it. He feels lightheaded, all the blood in his brain rushing to his cock as you suck on his tongue. This was driving him insane. You were insane.
And he fucking loved it.
“You d-drive me insane, my girl.” his words muffled by your hand still around his throat. His voice cracks with sensitivity in a way he would definitely be embarrassed about if he were in the right mind.
Yet, how could he ever be with the slow, feral smile that spread across your beautiful face?
Leaning down, you whisper lowly against his ear. “I’m the same, Toru.”
Maybe it’s your words, and the hot breath that sends shivers down his spine. Or maybe it’s the way you lift your dress so alluringly - cunt dripping on full display, slick trailing down your legs.
All Satoru knows is, he’s surging forwards. He’s got your front pressed against the cold wall, cock twitching to life and bullying its way through your swollen folds.
Mindlessly, a strong hand smacks against the stall as Satoru tries to keep himself steady. Too drunk off of you - off of your whimpers of his name, and the feeling of your plush walls clamping down on his throbbing erection, struggling to accommodate his size despite being so dripping wet.
He doesn’t give a fuck.
“Hngh- S’tight. Oh, fuck! S-sucking my cock back hah- in s-so needily”
Ramming in and out of your hole at a merciless cadence, Satoru’s balls smack your clit so animalistically. You two feel like a pair of fucking animals.
Shudders of overstimulation and pleasure wrack his body. Chest heaving, his blown-out eyes roll to the back of his head at the rapid, desperate thrusts inside your warm core.
Pulling out all the way to slam back in mercilessly, Satoru could pass out at the sight of your ass jiggling as it arches to meet the rhythm of his hips.
“God, m’girl. Gonna- gonna cum ah! Fill this pussy the way you want-” he groans raspily into the heady air of the stall, exhausted cock shooting wispy strings of cum that fill you up - some missing as he pumps into you, spilling out to paint your swollen folds white.
Before he knows it, a low hiss leaves his throat as you remove yourself off of his furiously pulsing cock - only to shove him seated on the commode.
You take a split-second to admire your gorgeous fiancé - face flushed as much as the prettily leaking tip of his throbbing cock, eyes dazed and miles away, curtained by his sweaty white locks. A delicate trail of drool made its way down the corner of his ruby, kiss-bitten lips. Exactly how you wanted him.
What a fucking picture. Maybe you should take that chocolate more often…
“Toru~ Remember what I said? You’re not tapping out, are you?” you hum, eyes narrowing at the way his erection twitches so ferally at your dangerous tone.
“Ah- don’t know- Can’t, please.”
You loom dangerously close, a hand reaching out to mockingly push his cheeks together, drool pooling at your fingertips. “I’ve told you before, Toru. Use your words. Please what?”
“M-mercy, please!” pathetic pleas muffled by your hand.
“Mercy?”
“Mercy!”
“No mercy for you, my darling Toru.”
The great Gojo Satoru, begging for mercy, will face none at your hands.
You straddle his muscled legs, shivering with sensitivity. “Ah! Hah- Oh god. Oh god oh god oh god-” he whines nonstop as his quivering tip teases your swollen, messy folds. In one, fluid motion, you sheath him fully in your dripping cunt.
Ah, you feel so full.
You relish in the way he twitches instinctively inside you. Steadying yourself using Satoru’s shoulders, you drag your cunt along his length, his prominent veins grazing that one spot inside you. Pulling out till his thick head teases your entrance, you drop down - inch by inch - over and over.
Satoru thinks he could cry right now - or maybe he already is. He doesn’t know, nor does he care - not when you’re so beautiful and fucked out, nails digging into his shoulders and heart eyes palpable in your gaze as you ride his sensitive cock into insanity.
He can’t stop the ragged moans that escape his swollen lips, head thrown back and hips bucking up exhaustedly into you to meet your every bounce. A hand is at his throat, pulling your face to his, “Don’t run away, Toru~”
He felt so raw. More a feral beast than a man as he watches his abused cock get swallowed up over and over by your wet pussy.
If he thought his dick was broken after this time then it’s really unsalvageable now.
He wanted to run away. He wanted more. He wanted you to keep looking at him with that fucking predatory gaze that made a carnal part of him twitch so good. He wanted to cum.
“I wan’- I wanna cum, please, my girl.” Satoru gasps out, teary eyes blown and looking up at you so delicately.
“Cum?”
“Yes.”
“Cum, Toru.”
Maybe it was the glint of fondness in your eyes, maybe it was the piercing of teeth as you bit down hard into the crook of his neck. Or maybe it was the way your snug cunt clamped down on him so sinfully as you cum as around him. But Satoru is immediately bucking up into your hips - reaching his climax, if you can even call it that. Poor, exhausted cock cumming dry. “Ah- Cumming- M’cumming hgnh-”
Satoru doesn’t even know if he feels his orgasm, just waves of pleasure that overwhelm him as he rides it out on your cunt.
Ah, he thinks if heaven was a person then it would be you.
Maybe he’s died already.
“Toru? Open your eyes, darling.”
Slowly opening the eyes that he didn’t even realize he had furiously scrunched closed, Satoru slowly blinks his vision back.
An angel?
“No, Toru, your fiancé.” you huff out a laugh. Oh shit, he said that out loud?
Head still reeling from, well, everything - the great Gojo Satoru can do nothing else but sit there, exhausted and fucked out of his mind as you slowly remove yourself off his twitching cock. He’s never felt so vulnerable - so ruined.
Ah, someone remind him to never let you have a bite of that chocolate every again.
A low hiss leaves him, along with a few tears that later he swears were never there.
As you tenderly clean both yourselves up in the humid stall, Satoru thinks he’s never been handled with so much care. Ah, he loves your gentle hands. He loves you.
“I love you too, Toru.” you whisper into the intimate silence. Oh, shit, he said that out loud again?
Your beautiful laugh, “Yes, you did, Toru.” Throwing away the used tissues, you grin “Y’know they’ve probably brought out our food by now.”
Absent-mindedly, “Mhm?”
“I was thinking I wanted chocolate for dessert.”
A/N. Oh Satoru, you poor, innocent fool…
Also this turned out longer than expected. Reblogs so so appreciated!
Plagiarism not authorized.
Taglist:
@sage-ove @mo0nforme @thirtykiwis @planetzetra
#gojo x reader#gojo smut#gojo x you#jjk x reader#jjk smut#jjk x you#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru smut#gojo satoru x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen smut#jujutsu kaisen x you#jjk#jjk fic#jujutsu kaisen#gojo satoru#tonywrites
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the other thing I find very funny about trying to write a canon compliant wol is taking all the wolship hints extremely seriously.
I don't really wolship because I'm just fundamentally not that kind of fan. But I know for those who are, the sheer number of romance hints FFXIV throws at you can be overwhelming to parse in a context where you have a preferred/intended wolship, particularly if you're not attracted to the gender the hints are coming from in the first place (a particular tip of the hat to wlw fans navigating the g'raha of it all). I've seen plenty of people write around them or write them out or be like "no aymeric was for real inviting my wol to a nice platonic zero-subtext dinner," and God bless all of you.
But it's really funny to imagine them all as all-too-real but unreciprocated or perhaps unreciprocatable. The sheer scale of it is comedy. Spoilers for all of FFXIV follow.
Oh God, the Lord Speaker wants to have dinner, just the two of us, at his family estate and not a government building. I hope he doesn't bring up his crush on me. Thal's balls he's about to bring it up—oh thank God there's an emergency. Oh no someone got hurt! Oh no it's the teenage girl with a crush on me.
Your life is a cosmic joke. You watch the Sultana get poisoned and all your friends probably die to save your life and it's kind of all your fault in some ways, I mean at the very least you should've spoken up when they gave the teenager a private army, and then the teenage boy speaks up and is like, "hey, I guess we have at least one ally. What about if we go visit that guy who is really obviously down unbelievably bad for you and wants to lick the sweat off of you." and you have to be like, yeah, Alphinaud. Great idea. Let's do it. I'll call him.
(brief interlude: also haurchefant's DEATH hits so good if you don't reciprocate. It's okay. He gets it. You're going through a lot and even if you had time to sort through your feelings maybe you're just not into him. That would be okay! You can love someone, or the idea of someone, without needing it to be romantically reciprocated. That's chivalric, even. Knightly. So he won't ask you to lie to him and say you love him as he lies dying in your arms. He's not so low as all that. But could you smile for him as you used to? That true hero's smile of yours. And you do, and he dies. And you both know he died for a lie, in a way, or a flight of fancy. And he's okay with that. Are you? Should you be? Should he?)
Then you're into Stormblood and it's like wow, okay. That last part was all high fantasy, of course there were loyal knights and elegant princes. But this is war. Imperialism. Grim business, surely there's no way—oh no BOTH handsome young revolutionary leaders seem to have a special interest in you?! And so does the Crown Prince of the Empire? Come on, man. I should get to do the whole horrors of war thing without having to also deal with this. Gaius sucked and it was weird that he let his foster daughter run around being openly obsessed with him but at least he never made it my problem.
You can't even get away from it across dimensions. Shadowbringers is a horror story about going on a teambuilding camping trip with your work colleagues for some reason except they all suddenly got really hot and they keep touching you affectionately on the shoulder and being like "I care for you and your happiness. Truly." And also you're being stalked for the whole camping trip by two old men who are obsessed with you. The false climax of the story is that the one old man tries to betray you and give a dramatic monologue about how he loves you but the two of you are doomed by the narrative and then the other old man shoots him in the back like "no actually its MY turn to betray them and give a dramatic monologue about how our love is doomed by the narrative." Then the real climax is old man #1 backstabbing old man #2 in the middle of said monologue before old man #2 dies and gives ANOTHER wistful monologue about his doomed love. Then for the patches they're like okay so we have this even CRAZIER old man who's gonna strike when you're weak and give a dramatic monolo—
and that's without even getting into the literal soulmate ghost only you can see
my warrior of light never felt more betrayed than in that scene where Y'shtola is like "haha Alisaie and G'raha have crushes on the warrior of light." Like I thought we were COOL, Y'shtola! I work here! This situation is already in such a delicate balance! Right when I got here I met Alisaie's "friend from work" who was like oh haha so YOU'RE the one she can't stop talking about and we never followed up on that because the woman died horrifically like five minutes later right in front of us! Then when Vauthry got away and we had to do all that shit with the dwarves, G'raha kept pausing every ten minutes to be like oooooh I'm so old I'm gonna die soon...at least I got to spend some time with some people who are really important to me...in fact here's what I'd tell the person who's most important to me...actually u know them really well haha. And I just had to sit there and be like wow, dude, crazy.
even in the face of apocalypse you still gotta go back in time like 12,000 years and there's somewhere there who makes you sit and listen to his story which is that the purpose of his whole godlike immortal life was to be in a throuple with you and old man #2 from the camping trip. and you just gotta sit there the whole time knowing you/your past life is the one who broke up the throuple over politics. He's like come help me harangue the old man into streaking in public, he'll do it if you ask.
then you meet and fight and kill God and you gotta turn to the team and be like hey sorry guys can you give me a sec. I'm gonna call God by her real name because we met one time for like four days and after that the promise of meeting me again was one of the things that sustained her through her millennia of suffering. Not like that but like. Idk. Just gimme a sec!
It's a relief when you finally get to Lahabrea and he's like actually I still don't fuck with your vibe. Like thank GOD.
And my WoL is very obviously dad-shaped so Dawntrail had a very specific energy for me but I understand that for plenty of people your deepening rapport with Wuk Lamat had a romantic subtext (same for Koana depending on how you read a few of his lines). And personally I think it's the height of comedy to be like, noooo, babe, your highness, I know you and your brother the king are in love with me and want me to stick around and support you emotionally through this governmental transition haha. But it's just...the cursed wineglass, babe. I GOTTA go figure out what's up with this cursed wineglass.
It's a running gag in some of the more optional content that people are like "you have an unreasonable number of hobbies and side gigs" to the WoL from time to time. But if every time you tried picking up a new hobby some new elf started baring their soul to you, you too would be like Hey Jessie (or sometimes Krile or Tataru), my good friend who is one of the only people in my life who knows what professional ethics and work-life boundaries are, any chance you need muscle on a gig on the other side of the world? Ideally with only Cid and his ex so all libidinal energy in the room is directed towards machinery or someone who isn't me?
ironically one of the only places you get a break from psychosexual obsession is the nier content
#ffxiv#endwalker spoilers#dawntrail spoilers#shadowbringers spoilers#heavensward spoilers#stormblood spoilers#meta: durai report#warrior of light ffxiv
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Rivalry | Bakugou Katsuki x F!Reader
katsuki catches feelings for his new rival
Bakugou Katsuki has a crush, and he refuses to admit it.
There’s a girl in his class who drives him absolutely insane. All throughout middle school, he’s had the top grades. His attitude, foul mouth, and appearance may fool people into believing he’s a delinquent—and to some extent, he is—but the truth is that he has a rigid, early bedtime, he does all his homework diligently, he studies at great length for tests, and he’s never missed a single day of class.
He’s the best student there is. Or rather—he’s just the best in general.
But this year, everything changed.
There’s something about you that seems to catch everyone’s eye. You showed up at the beginning of the school year, a new transfer student, and from that moment onward, Katsuki swears his life got flipped upside down.
You’re gifted. You’ve got the best grades not only in the class, but out of everyone in the whole school. Every time exam scores are posted for others to see, Katsuki is forced to grit his teeth at the sight of your name at the very top, time and time again.
It’s not just your grades, though. You’ve got a powerful Quirk, too. It’s some kind of energy control that allows you to levitate objects, enhance your physical strength, and also defend against attacks. It’s strong and versatile. Perfect for becoming a hero—which is exactly what you plan to be.
The final nail in the coffin is that you’re also popular.
Katsuki is used to being the center of attention wherever he goes. He’s used to being complimented for his intellect, his talent, his strength, and the sheer magnitude of his presence. Thanks to everyone praising him to high heaven, ever since he was a kid, his ego has become massively inflated.
So, when he realizes that people are paying more attention to you than they are to him, he doesn’t know how the hell he’s supposed to handle it.
Katsuki finds himself glaring at you just about constantly. You’ve always got a group of students gathered around you. You’re always smiling and laughing, looking carefree as can be. You’re also the only person in the whole class who doesn’t treat Izuku like dirt—which just pisses him off even more.
One day, you stop in front of his desk with a bright smile.
“Here you go, Bakugou,” you say, handing him a cookie. “This is for you.”
Katsuki looks up at you in disbelief. “Why would I ever want this shit?”
“I dunno. It was my birthday recently, so I baked cookies to hand out to the class. Don’t you want one? I thought everyone likes cookies.”
“I would rather die than eat that,” he snarls, and he angrily shoves the cookie back into your hands.
He’s dramatic as all hell, of course, and that kind of vicious remark would have been more than enough to make anyone feel self-conscious. It was needlessly harsh. He obviously didn’t mean it. Given the option of eating your cookie or dying, he would definitely eat the cookie.
Not that it really matters, though.
You’re completely unfazed.
“Damn, I didn’t know you were deathly afraid of cookies,” you muse. “I’ll have to keep that in mind for next time. What about cupcakes? Are cupcakes safe for you to eat?”
Katsuki’s entire face turns red. “That’s obviously not what I meant, asshole!”
“I know,” you giggle, and for some reason, the sound makes Katsuki’s heart skip a beat. “Sorry for teasing. You’re really funny, Bakugou. I like you.”
He parts his lips to respond, but he’s incapable of forming any words. It feels like whatever he was about to say just died in the back of his throat. All of a sudden, he’s frozen in place, brain running haywire.
“I like you.”
You’re making fun of him. You have to be. And why should he even care whether you actually like him or not? He doesn’t give a shit about you. He can’t stand you. You’re the bane of his goddamn existence.
…fuck.
That’s what he keeps telling himself, but given how red his face is, it’s sounding harder and harder to believe.
“I’ll make something else next time,” you beam. “I’m sure one day, I’ll figure out something you like. I’ve noticed you eat spicy food a lot. Maybe I should try making a curry. Ah, but if it’s good, you have to be honest with me, okay? You’re not allowed to lie.”
Katsuki’s heart does another flip. It’s so stupid. He can’t believe his mind even bothered to read into it, but…
The fact that you know what kind of food he likes means you’ve at least been paying some attention to him, right?
“I’m going to beat you,” Katsuki blurts. His voice wavers slightly, and he grinds his teeth together in embarrassment, but still, he persists. “On the next round of exams… I’m going to place first. Just you watch.”
Normally, Katsuki can’t stand to lose. He can’t stand the feeling of inferiority. The idea that someone else might be better than him.
And yet, despite his frustration, despite how much he claims you drive him up the wall, he actually doesn’t mind the challenge. It’s exciting. It makes him respect you that much more.
“We’ll see about that,” you grin—and he’s convinced you have to be the prettiest girl he’s ever seen.
No doubt about it.
Something about you just gets his heart racing.
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ok i don’t know if it’s just me who gets really giggly when it’s late at night but imagine laying in bed with lando and you’re just rambling about smth so stupid that it ends with you two just giggling at nothing. like getting full on stomach cramps from laughing but there wasn’t even anything funny to begin with
anon u and i are the SAME! once its past midnight i always end up becoming a victim of the late night sillies 💔
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1:30 am | ln4
you knew you were up too late when you nearly tripped over the loose edge of the blanket you and lando had been sharing on your way back to the couch, and when he had caught you before you could hit your head or anything, you started laughing.
“oh, no,” he’d groaned dramatically. “got the late night giggles already, huh?”
“uh-uh,” you shook your head, even though him saying the words “late night giggles” was enough to make laughter start bubbling up in your throat again.
something always shifted in you when the clock struck a certain hour at night, and lando had only been witness to it a handful of times before you moved in together.
now, you’d managed to get through the rest of the movie the two of you were watching without laughing, even if it meant biting your lip hard and refusing to make eye contact with your boyfriend. it was bad enough feeling his eyes on you every time he wanted to see your reaction to something that happened on the tv. making eye contact would just take you out entirely for no reason whatsoever.
which is why you think you’ve successfully avoided making a fool of yourself when you’re both finally laying in bed with the lights out at the fine hour of 1:30 in the morning.
“you’re so far away,” lando grumbles, dragging your body into his so his one arm is around your shoulders and your face is nestled in his neck.
“better?” you ask, smiling when he shivers as your lips brush his skin.
“mhmm.” he’s quiet for a moment, running his fingers up and down your arm. “you’re gonna come to miami, right?”
“yeah, if you want me to.”
“what kind of question is that, babe?” he cranes his neck in a way that tells you he’s fixing you with a judgy look even though you can’t see each other.
you shrug, feeling the giggles building up again for no reason whatsoever. “i dunno.”
“obviously i want you there, why wouldn’t i?”
“i dunno,” you repeat. “it’s miami. maybe you just wanna party with all your homies.” and just like that, you’re laughing again.
“oh dear god, here we go,” he sighs, pressing his lips together to repress his own laughter as your body shakes against his. “my homies? when have i ever referred to any of my mates as my ‘homie’?”
he sounds so incredulous that you laugh even harder. “oh, you’re so british! i can’t call them your mates, lan. it sounds too weird.”
“so homies is the word you went with? why can’t you be normal and just say my friends?”
“why can’t you be normal and say your friends?” you shoot back, and that does lando in.
“it’s not funny,” he tries to admonish, and it’s entirely true, but it’s a moot point when you can barely understand him through his laughter.
“stop laughing then!”
“you stop!”
naturally, that makes you both laugh harder still, to the point where you have to roll away from him, clutching your stomach from how badly all the laughing is making it hurt.
“i can’t breathe,” lando gasps from behind you.
“stop laughing,” you repeat. “you’re killing me.”
“i think i’m dying,” he continues like he didn’t hear you, and he honestly might not have because your face is half shoved into your pillow in your attempts to stifle yourself.
a few more minutes go by of the two of you absolutely losing your minds before you’re finally able to catch your breath.
“ow,” you whine, holding your stomach. “i think i just grew a six pack.”
“i think mine just became ten times more defined,” lando says, voice raspy from all the exertion on his vocal chords.
“ooh, lemme feel.”
“absolutely not, because you’re going to tickle me,” he grabs your wrist out of thin air. “i know your tricks, baby. i’ve laughed more than enough tonight thanks to you.”
“not my fault you’re weird and british.”
“i love you,” he says sweetly, pulling you back towards him and kissing your forehead. “now’s where you say, ‘i love you too.’”
“i love you too,” you reply dutifully, blindly reaching for his face so you can kiss him properly. “even though you’re weird and british.”
he kisses you again. “i thought it was especially because i’m weird and british.”
you snuggle into his side, now thoroughly exhausted. “please don’t make me laugh more, lan.”
you both know he’s right, of course, but you usually need to have the last word, so he lets you get away with it. he does love you, after all, even though you had him in stitches over nothing at 1:30 in the morning.
word count: 790
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note: this was sooo self indulgent, like i was laughing as i wrote this because the term “homies” is so silly to me for some reason. also helped me test my dialogue skills!! n e wayz…
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dividers by @/saradika
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