#Not actually but I love how 70% of the fics in this fandom check at least three boxes and it’s practically an unspoken checklist

[paper-beats-writers-block]

For a fanfic to be considered Snowbaz it must include:

“Snow,” “You called me Simon before”

“And then he kisses me”

some form or iteration of “Baz… you’re-you’re wearing jeans”

mention of Simon’s love of butter/scones

[curiositysavesthecat]

Sent to our inbox by the submitter: ❝there's a post going around in which the OP said they only read fics with a "1 kudo per 10 hits" to "make sure it is good" and asked other fanfic readers how they picked fics to read. the post was slightly controversial because 1/10 was unrealistic considering repeat readers, multichapter fics, etc altering the number in favour of more hits yet less kudos but most importantly, because it affected small authors.❞

More from the submitter: ❝numbers in percentages because some author have 1 fic and others have over 100❞

Admin's comment: Sorry, but the "1 kudo per 10 hits" rule is just dumb. As a writer and a reader, some of the most well and professionally written fics I've read don't even pass this so-called "rule". It's faulted and it's NOT a good way to determine if a fic is good at all. Because a fic that is centered around popular fandom or ship WILL almost certainly be guaranteed to have lots of kudos, because of how popular the characters are; sure, fics with lots of kudos can be good, but the number of kudos alone is not enough to determine if it's "good". Especially because lots of readers tend to NOT leave kudos even if they like the fics. And some readers tend to leave kudos on every fic they read, whether or not they actually like them. The "rule" will only discourage writers from writing and making good fics, so it's just outright harmful.

If you want to know if a fic is good or not, read the summary of the work and see if you like the writer's writing style (the summary is the most important factor for me when choosing something to read, because it tells the writing style the writer has and what the entirety of the fic will be like). You can also read the tags and see if those tags grab your attention.

I have never looked at the number of kudos a fic has when choosing something to read, and instead I only pay attention to tags and summary, and that's how I end up reading so many good fics.

— Admin 1

Edit: as people have pointed out, hits will go up if your readers love your fics enough to come back and re-read them; their views will be counted as more hits. But AO3 only allows a user to leave kudos only once. So it’s almost entirely impossible for most fics to pass this “test”, just another fault the test has.

I mean… according to the logic of the rule itself, if your readers like your works so much they come back to reread them, they will only increase the gap between hits and kudos, and therefore it’ll only mean your fics are “not good” because people read them more than once.

You see how harmful and unreliable this rule is?

This poll was submitted to us and we simply posted it so people could vote and discuss their opinions on the matter. If you’d like for us to ask the internet a question for you, feel free to drop the poll of your choice in our inbox and we’ll post them anonymously (for more info, please check our pinned post).

[hermiola]

Writer's Meme, 2024 Edition

I've been tagged by @turquoisedata 💜

-------------------------

How many works do you have on ao3?

14. 6 Good Omens + 8 MCU, but we have to go back to 2014 and 2016 for those. I also used to publish on an Italian fanfiction archive where I have 70 more fics (I went back to check and count them after approximately two thousand years and HOLY SHIT, I didn't remember them being so many! My first fic is more than 20 years old WTF).

What’s your total word count?

150.000 words on AO3. But I'm guessing it's waaay higher than that (the Italian archive doesn't show the word count 🥲).

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

My GO fics have the most kudos (given the popularity of the fandom + the fact that they're written in English and not in Italian). I have 6, so the top 5 is basically all of them:

Take a Little Love From Me (Pretty Woman AU)

Final Breakthrough (Now!) (Post-Season 2 Fix-It)

Crazy Little Thing (Called Love) (Non-S2-complying silliness)

When Hell Freezes Over (Human AU with magician!Crowley and critic!Aziraphale)

Let There Be Rock (First meeting after 1967)

Do you respond to comments? Why/why not?

I do! I don't get that many, so it's not overwhelming, and I just like to respond. As I said somewhere else, my experience in the GO fandom has been mostly a solitary one (recently not so much though!) so I just like to interact whenever I can.

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

I'm going to consider only the GO ones because I feel like the others have been written by another me entirely (also I'm not sure I even remember them).

So it's definitely Let There Be Rock.

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

I'd say all of them, but Take a Little Love From has a proper epilogue and everything. I guess their happiness has more space there than elsewhere.

Do you write crossovers?

I have in the past, but not anymore.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not that I know of.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Not really. I LOOOOVE reading smut (especially in those chonky slow burn fics), but I can't bring myself to write explicit smut for some reason. I love describing the tension and the heat of the moment (I love UST so much I'm going to marry it tbh - like nothing makes me happier/hornier than two people who want to fuck each other but can't for some reason - am I edging myself? IDK) but when it comes to my own writing I feel like spelling out the details just ruins the moment. I do think it's my ace showing in some way. But, anyway, I read the filthiest filth so this definitely doesn't apply to reading. And who knows, maybe one day I'll try! I'm not ruling anything out.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so?

Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but I used to translate HP fics back in the day (from English to Italian). We're talking 20 years ago. And it's funny when you think about it, because I translate novels for work now 🤣

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes, always back in the day with HP. I'm still friends IRL with the girl I wrote them with (we actually met because of HP) (this is as good a time as any to say FUCK YOU JKR).

What's your all-time favourite ship?

This depends on the hyper-fixation of the moment. I cannot multitask with my OTPs. If I get obsessed with a new one, I retire the previous one. Like I could split my life into different time periods just based on my OTPs. Ron/Hermione has been my personality for YEARSSSS, but now I can barely think about HP without cringing. Another BIG ONE was Clint/Natasha from the MCU (which explains my look here on Tumblr), but the MCU as a whole has gone a bit stale for me (with few exceptions). And now it's all about Crowley/Aziraphale - it's so bad I had to unretire from fanfiction writing after almost 10 years LOL.

(I like many other ships but not to the point of *obsession*).

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

The only one I can think of is a Clintasha Actors AU, but I don't think I have it anymore, and I wouldn't finish it even if I had.

What are your writing strengths?

Dialogues and banter are my favourite things to write, and I think it shows.

What are your writing weaknesses?

English is not my first language, so my writing lacks variety I think. I feel like I have always the same phrases stuck in my head, so it's probably kind of repetitive, especially when compared to some of the fics I read. (But when I started writing my first GO fic in English I wasn't even sure I could *actually* do it, so I'm proud of myself either way!).

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I think it's okay! I personally would ask a native speaker to help me (if possible) instead of going the Google Translate route. Being Italian and watching/reading almost exclusively in English I know how silly it sounds when the characters start speaking your language and they're saying nonsense (but no harm done even in this case, imo, especially in fanfics. In movies, though, it's just lazy!).

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

HP, back in 2004 (welp).

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

None, thankfully. If I'm writing fanfic it means I'm in the late stage of hyperfixation and I don't wish that on myself if I can help it. Like I used to read 50+ books a year before GO S2. It's bad!!!

What's your favourite fic you've written?

Take a Little Love From Me mainly because it's the one I've spent more time with.

Tagging some people if they feel like doing it (but no pressure at all!): @beerok23 - @sabotage-on-mercury - @gaiaseyes451 - @leviosally

[lavalampstealer]

I want to make an appreciation post for the IEYTD tumblr community because its not talked about enough. I love you guys :)

When I first got into these games a few months ago, I had no idea how to find other people or content creators. I started out on insta where I had trouble finding other people and it was really lonely. The discord was/is better and there are some cool people on there as well but about 70% of the new people who were joining were just looking for the release date (it’s gotten better recently and there are great creators there but its more focused on the games themselves than the characters/story). Then because of a friend, I tried tumblr and my god I love it here.

There’s tons more art and people here than I thought there would be and I cannot stress enough how awesome it is seeing everyone’s takes on characters. The Phoenixes and Handlers in particular are my favorites because its like I get to see a little bit of the artist in Phoenix, and who doesn’t love the funny, quippy British voice? They’re so diverse, I love how something as small as a little scar has a whole backstory for it. I find it fascinating to see how many people see Phoenix’s color as red (no hate at all, I love them!). Not to mention the posts about the Fabricator, Juniper, Zor, Solaris, Prism, etc, I love all of these characters and the nuances in their personalities.

The fics I’ve seen are so interesting, shout out to all the writers you guys are AMAZING!! I’ve got to get better at sitting down to actually write my own but some of my favorites on Ao3 are Red String, Spying the Liar, Rising From the Ashes, or so to Speak, Issue is Spelt with a “U” (And an “I” too), Such Lovely Feathers on Your Turncoat, and last but ABSOLUTELY not least, all of Calivide’s works. Seriously I love all of these, I’m such a sucker for angst, fluff, and good writing. If I’ve missed any other good ones or if you have your own, PLEASE reblog or comment or ping me or share them in some way, I’d love to check them out :)

To all of the text posts and people who discuss the silly goobers with me, I love you. To all the people who analyze or make funny shitposts about the characters, I love you (shout out to @/calivide’s in-depth analysis of Juniper I want to use it as reference for something ITS SO DETAILED AND ACCURATE MY GOD I LOVE IT). To all the people who read my ramblings about characters, I love you. To all the artists, I love you. To all the writers, I love you. To all the people who reblog each other’s stuff, I love you. To all the people helping to keep this little fandom of spies going, I love you.

I haven’t been here long but I’ve felt so appreciated and welcomed, and I can only hope that I’ve gotten the chance to make other people feel the same way. Please never hesitate to ping me or leave an ask if you ever want to talk about these games, I’d love to chat <33

I love you all and I’m making you all grilled cheeses

(me whenever someone likes one of my posts (i cant say it enough all of you are so sweet and make me wanna implode /pos))

[starbeltconstellation]

hiiiii i hope you have been having an amazing summer! i hope this isnt that bothersome to ask since you’re still writing it out but i would like to ask around what month do you think you would be able to get the chapter that you are writing to come out? i also saw that you were saying that you were at around 40k words for this chapter so i don’t want it to seem like i’m trying to rush or anything, just genially curious. also hope that the fix doesnt end up being dropped for what ver reason since i think it might just be the only fic for the SW fandom that actually has me going back and re-reading and still able to enjoy it(which is a bit of a rare thing these days since i’m always surrounded by smut having fics, which is not a bad thing, but it can get old quite quickly).

also i have to say that this is the first time where the slow burn has actually been a slow burn and not just a lazy thing written out and having been given much thought. i really like how you have so far made each encounter between the oc and anakin not a copy and paste of their first encounter (with the oc being afraid of her life and anakin being just confused but both of them trying to figure out and work out their problems as each chapter comes out). this is all i have to say for now ig so again i hope you have an amazing day!!! 💕

Helloooo! 😊💕

Thank you so very much for the lovely ask and well wishes, dear reader duckling! 😁❤️✨ It truly made my day to see a new ask in my inbox . Hehe. ❤️❤️✨

And I’m soooo sorry for the late response! 😭❤️💔 It just takes me a while to get to asks sometimes with my life problems going on, especially because I want to dedicate the right amount of attention to giving my thoughts. But I just wanted you and all my other readers to know that I’m never ignoring you. 💕💕

It’s completely fine for you to check in and ask me about my chapter progress, dear! 💕✨ Makes me at least know someone’s still out there excited to see it. Haha.

I’ll put the rest of my answer under a read more:

Well, what I do for my Fic chapters is I try to split up the scenes from scenes from the actual EPISODES from The Clone Wars, and then write the other scenes from my own planned storyline in between everything else. What I had ORIGINALLY planned was to have each chapter be one episode of TCW, or another original storyline arc that I had chosen to add (ie; the Kudon III storyline). However, I very quickly realized that writing out a completely original storyline takes a lot fucking longer and more brain power than expected. 😭😖🫠 And not only that—the 🔥sensual Melakin scenes 🔥 take even TWICE as long as that. Lol. 😭 And so—QUITE sadly—I have had to admit to myself that it just isn’t feasible for my chapters to be that long, even though cutting TCW episodes in multiple chapters might break the flow of the story.

And so, after I FINALLY get out this whopper of a chapter (which I HOPE to have completed by the first weeks of August), I am NEVERRRR writing a chapter this long again. Lol. 😭🤦‍♀️

So rest easy with that, in the sense that hopefully a hiatus will never be this long again. I think the problem with writing chapters this long is that—for one—my SW hyperfixation is gone, which makes my writing way slower that it used to be (which I fucking HATE 😭🙃). For another, the problem is my depression steals my energy and motivation, and while the 25% of lovely reader comments I get out of the 70% silent ghost readers that I try to “pspspsps” into my comment feed, give me boosts of that good ol’ serotonin—at the same time: I think the problem is that, with the shorter chapters beforehand, I could write so much in one day, because in doing so, I would already get halfway done in only a few hours. But with such a long chapter, it makes me kind of dread writing for so long, to not even have the satisfaction of pressing “post” at the end of it all in reward. Lol. 😭💔🫠

And so, this chapter has gone at about a snails pace for that very reason. 😭😅

So, what I NOW am planning to do is to split each TCW episode and original storyline I come up with into probably a three arc format (ie; three chapters), which will make it much easier for me to write without getting exhausted. That way, the chapters should only be at the most 10 to 15,000 words (hopefully. Lol). 😅😂❤️

BUT! I will ease your mind by saying that no matter WHAT—I am NEVER abandoning this story. ✊😖❤️ It’s literally going to be my magnum opus. Now—I KNOW authors say that all the time and then become little lying liars who lie—BUT unlike them, I am writing this dream fix it fic specifically for ME. 😂❤️ So the only way I can have the story of my dreams is to FINISH this things someday. So I hope that eases your worries. Lol. 💕

And awwwww! 🥰🥰🥰💕💕💕 Thank you SO, so much for your kind words about my story and writing! It means the world to me that my fic seems to stand out on A03 and Wattpad to a lot of SW fans. Haha.

And thank you SO much for your compliments on how I’m writing Melakin’s developing slow burn/relationship and in their separate character arcs. It was really important to me that Anakin and Melanie weren’t just getting together to get TOGETHER. I like my stories to mean something, and if you’ve read my other meta posts, then you’ll know that Melakin’s romantic relationship has actually been PURPOSEFULLY paralleled with Anidala, to show the difference between how someone you love can actually make you grow to be BETTER, instead of a relationship where they both enable each other’s worst tendencies (even though the love may have been genuine).

But yeah, it was REALLY important to me that their slow burn was actually REALISTIC, because yes, I’ll admit some slow burns keep the two people apart for way longer than necessary just to have drama. But for Melakin, there’s just SO many reasons they can’t get together yet (ie; the Anidala secret marriage, Melanie’s lingering terror of Anakin, Anakin and Melanie still being barely even friends, and also Anakin’s future moral decay that Melanie remains at the same time disgusted by while trying to stop it from happening), so it makes the slow burn more genuine to me. Their relationship develops the more their CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT develops.

But anyway! You’ll be happy to know that I’ve COMPLETELY FINISHED all of my original scenes for my next chapter! 😊💕 So now—I only have to follow the transcript of TCW episode and write out the actual EPISODE STORYLINE—which will be WAY easier and shouldn’t take as long as before.

I’m not making any promises—but I’m AIMING for a new posted chapter in sometime in the next two weeks. So… just a heads up with that. ❤️❤️💕✨

Thanks so very much again for the ask, dear reader! 😊✨💕 It made my week. Haha.

Until next time! ✨❤️

-

To any new readers that stumble across this and are curious enough to check out my fic:

Tags:

@ensomniaa

@heartfairy

@fangirlteallie

@lemons-2-limes

@shoniwake

[raayllum]

so i deleted my poll & here's why bc it is both. sad, strange, and a little hilarious. for TLDR, skip all the way to the end

this is what it was gearing towards as of this afternoon & this is why it got weird.

for clarification, the poll was meant to investigate, because i was curious, how many people i had potentially influenced in my writing(s) about callum analysis wise. i actually expected option 2 to be the most common (aka that people already saw him that way) since that's what i've found in my circles; most of the other rayllum writers and shippers i've spoken to reached those conclusions themselves after S2 or S3, if not earlier. so option 1 being the most popular was the first big surprise, as was as many people picking "want to see the results"

here's where things go from surprising to weird. earlier this afternoon, the poll was sitting around 120-ish people and had been in that vein for most of the week since it was published, climbing maybe a few votes every day after the initial boom in a variety of the categories the first like day and a half.

then, steadily, over the course of 5-10 minutes, anywhere from 5 to 15 fresh votes flooded in... all to the same category of "nah i don't see him that way." which wasn't That strange, except

the fandom troll, who is notoriously obnoxiously loud about Not liking this interpretation of callum, also has a tendency of making sock blogs and sending anonymous asks to bait you over and over again, no matter how many times you block them. for Years.

then the number continued to steadily climb solely in that singular category, doubling and then tripling. now, i'm not going to say there couldn't be *check statistics* 50 people who don't see callum as being willing to sacrifice the world for his loved ones/help aaravos if rayla or ezran's lines were quit literally being held at knifepoint, But

When the poll started, I acknowledged the bias the poll would likely be prone to, as my followers - by virtue of following me and seeing and presumably agreeing with what I post - would probably skew in favour of the interpretation, and this was reflected in 6/7 days of the poll's backing, with 60-78% (roughly 70-80 people) of participants leaning towards a shared interpretation. "Nah I don't see him that way" also rose steadily in terms of votes throughout the week day by day, but never cleared more than 8-10 individual people (you're troopers, I respect you, and I hope having the "snake boi Callum" tag makes it easier for you to blacklist accordingly so that you can enjoy your fandom experience)

The Snake Boi Callum interpretation is popular enough in fandom that we actually had a fandom event for it a few months back, plenty of people participated who I felt I wasn't familiar with as well as people I knew I would, and the pieces of art/fic/playlists regularly got 50-150 notes. If there are 50+ people who disagree with said interpretation, they are, generally speaking, not a group who's often actually making things for the fandom at large in terms of fic, fanart, other forms of creation, and not a ton of meta weekly or monthly about the topic and/or outside of that general wheelhouse, either. The 'pro' side is conversely a lot more active; most of the people who have written fic about said topic(s) aren't even me, but other cool lovely talented individuals over the past 3-ish years

The initial wave of votes happened when I posted the poll in the "snake boi Callum," "Rayllum," "tdp," and "the dragon prince" tags to reach a broader audience beyond my more immediate active follower range (as like, 90% of my followers are lurkers, which - respect). This is when it would've made sense if there was going to be an uptick in "nah I don't see him that way" to build

Instead, it happened 6 days into the poll when it was already decently buried by tags, I had recently self-reblogged it back into my accordingly biased circles, and rather than having a general variety, only a singular category went up by close to 40 people in like 3 hours. I tend to gain anywhere from 6-10 followers a week (for example, this week was 6) so that also does not account for the massive leap in a very short amount of time

Therefore, keeping to roughly 125 votes for posterity, and when removing the originally 30-ish or so people who voted for "see results" (significantly less than the first category, but more than the second by a decent margin) as well as the real 10 votes for "nah, I don't see him that way," approximately 85 people voted explicitly in favour of Snake Boi Callum / one of the first two options in general, with my meta being cited as the biggest influence. This is also with me rounding up the numbers of the other categories to likely more than they were, but I want to account for the potential error of my memory, as I wasn't keeping track of where things were super specifically before it started to smell like meddling.

Again, it's not that there couldn't be 50 people with that opinion, it's just that 40 of them, Realistically, did not suddenly come out of the woodwork in the span of 1-2 hours to consecutively vote in only one (1) category 6 days after that would've actually, marginally, made sense in terms of tagging / seeing it in the main tags.

If you're wondering why I presented all my ~ evidence ~ it's because if not, I'd probably be labelled as a liar and/or dismissed (it's happened before, unfortunately) and honestly, it ended up being a little funny to dig into how presumably nuts this got.

TLDR;

Anyway if you ever feel like you're deeply insecure and worried that you're idiotically clout chasing, remember you will never be as Embarrassing as the guy who made close to 39 sock blogs in one afternoon to try and 'one up' someone over an opinion they have regarding a children's tv show protagonist who's believed biggest flaw is that he Loves His Friends.

better poll that cannot be screwed with will follow

[l4ndojpg]

Whumptober 2023, Day 2: "They don't care about you."

fandom: succession | characters: roman roy (centric), shiv roy, kendall roy | ship: none | trigger warnings: mentions of child abuse, neglect, drug use | content: childhood fic, sibling relationships | word count: 1k.

Roman is bored. 

He’s been wandering around the grounds of this year’s summer house for a half hour like he’s his mother, trying to get 10,000 steps in each day. He wonders, briefly, if he should call her, but shakes his head at himself for thinking that she’d want to hear from him. If Mom had wanted them - him, Shiv and Ken - she would have tried for custody. 

The divorce was finalized when he was still away at school and no one had even bothered to fucking mention it to him. Not a shred of communication from anyone. He’d arrived back from his first year at St Andrews Military School in the early stages of age fourteen with a buzzcut, a habit of jumping at loud noises, and a 70% increase of the word ‘fuck’ in his vocabulary. 

At first he’d been thrilled to get away from home, but within hours of his first day at military school, he’d locked himself in a bathroom, stifling sobs against a hand towel so no one would hear him, desperate to come back. The new routine had stressed him out, made his chest feel tight. He was terrified to sleep for fear of yelling out in the night or pissing himself like he was a little kid again, so he became a walking zombie, functioning off of as little sleep as possible. He never flinched when he was screamed at or whacked around the head, but as soon as it happened for the first time, some masochistic sickness rose up in him where he decided the only person he wanted to hit him was his father. Which is fucking insane, because when Dad hits him he feels like he’s going to die for hours after - his chest and throat close up and he can barely breathe - but at least it’s familiar. At least it’s home. 

He’d jumped out of the car expecting to be greeted by someone at least, but no one had been at the gates. Affronted, he’d gone searching for his mother, only to meet Kendall, who was back from his first semester at college and gave him an awkward hug before explaining that Mom had finally packed up and fucked off. It stung that no one had told him, and it stung even worse that Mom hadn’t said goodbye. He resolved to find Shiv, who loved to bitch about Mom and would know all of the details due to her habit of listening at doors, and was valiantly disappointed when his twin sister shut her bedroom door in his face. 

And so it had been, for the last three days in which he’d been home: Ken doesn’t mind Roman hanging around him these days, but he listens to shitty rap and checks his computer constantly with too-bright eyes and complains about how the weed in Boston is way better than here. Shiv stays in her room or lies on the grass, sipping lemonade and reading books about politics that she barely understands. He hasn’t even seen his Dad since he got back. He’s at a conference somewhere. 

“Why’s Shiv no fun anymore?” Roman says, spinning on Kendall’s desk chair. 

“I dunno man,” Kendall says, lying on the ground and rolling a careful joint. “Once you left, she got real quiet. It was probably pretty lonely for her, being the only one around.” 

Roman shrugs. “It’s not my fault I had to go to St Fuckyou’s.” 

Kendall snorts, not looking up. “It kinda is. Maybe if you weren’t such a weirdo you’d have gotten to stay home.” 

“It’s not fair,” Roman whines. “You didn’t have to go to boarding school, Con didn’t, Shiv didn’t. It’s messed up. Dad hates me.” 

“He doesn’t hate you,” Kendall says, but his voice sounds far away. “He probably just wants the best for you, or something.” 

“Yeah,” Roman says. “Or something.” He watches Kendall lick the paper and give the joint a final roll. “Hey, can I have some?” 

“Fuck no,” Kendall says, sitting up and running a hand through his hair, which is longer than Roman remembers it being. “Get your own. Actually, don’t. You’re too young.” 

“Fuck you,” Roman says, but he didn’t really want it anyway. He wonders, vaguely, how old his brother had been the first time he’d done drugs. Speaking of brothers, he’s surprised Connor isn’t here. He’s always mixed up one strange new scheme or the other, but generally makes a point of spending summers with his younger siblings. It’s not that Roman’s desperate to see him or anything - his eldest brother is a bit of a freak - but it’d be nice to have something to do this summer. 

“Have you heard from Con?” he asks his sister later that afternoon. He hangs upside down on a sun lounger. She’s sitting by the pool in a new swimsuit, sipping a virgin daiquiri and reading To Kill a Mockingbird, mostly ignoring him. 

“He sent us an email,” she says, sounding bored, not looking up from her book. “Something about spending the summer building habitats for endangered snails or - some bullshit like that. Said he’s sorry he can’t see us, blah blah. No big loss. Didn’t you see it?” 

“No,” says Roman, who never gets emails, therefore hasn’t bothered to sign into his account at all in the last few months. “Do you know when dad’s coming back?”

Shiv shrugs and finally looks up at him, dark sunglasses hiding her eyes. “No.”

“Neither.” 

“So? Since when has Dad told you where he’s going and when? He doesn’t care about you.” 

“Bitch,” Roman says, pulling himself upright and sticks his tongue out at her, pretending the words don’t sting. “He doesn’t give a shit about you either.” 

“Oh, boo hoo. Mom doesn’t care, dad doesn’t care, big brothers are too busy doing drugs and saving the planet,” she says sardonically. “No one pays attention to us anymore, so we can do whatever we want. Life is so terrible.”

“You used to be more fun,” he snaps, not sure why her words are getting to him so much. 

“I’ve grown up,” is all she says, then looks back down. 

“Fuck you too,” he mutters, standing up to resume wandering around the grounds. 

He spends the summer wandering, pretending not to care that no one cares. 

Roman is bored. 

[mzannthropy]

I absolutely agree that Camilly>>>> Daisybilly. Also Edmila. I'm just gonna pretend none of the cheating happen. Also, what do you think about fics that make Billy a bad father? I hate them lol. Billy was there for Julia's plays,soccer games, and to see her grow into an adult. You can tell he loved her.

(This got long...)

Thanks, it's good to see someone still cares about Billy x Camila! Tbh I've been thinking that I probably misunderstood the story, which is not unlike me with the way my mind works, but the thing is, I was only in it bc of Sam Claflin. I would never have had picked the book up if he hadn't been cast in the series. I barely care about real 70s bands, never mind fictional, and I didn't know anything about Fleetwood Mac (in fact I only started listening to them bc of DJATS and, funnily enough, I saw that 1997 performance on TV which they just happened to show at the time when the filming of DJATS was going on--but I didn't think anything of it. Don't those two hate each other?). That's my kind of longwinded way of saying that I had no idea I was supposed to ship Daisy and Billy, especially as I rooted for Camila right from the beginning. I'm also much older than majority of the fandom and have one failed marriage under my belt already, so I see things differently.

I think that Camila liked the rockstar side of Billy, hence why she was able to overlook some things (after all, this was the 70s), bc she knew he would always come home to her. Relationships are laundry and taxes, not omG tHE wAY thEY LooK aT eAcH OthEr on stage, but I guess that's not cool enough for the show. I'm not a fanfic person, actually, I read maybe about three a year (and that's only short ones) and with the exception of Jane Eyre, I don't write any (I prefer writing original). Occasionally I check AO3 for some particular piece of media or a ship, just to see what's there (in fact I did so twice in the last week, once for a particular pairing in a L.M. Montgomery book and once for all The Count of Monte Cristo fics, Sam's next project). I've never looked at any DJATS fics ever and I'd rather not know. So I didn't know there were fics that made Billy a bad father. I suppose people can write what they want, if they need to make Billy worse for their preferred ship to exist, well, they're free to do so, if it makes them happy. I loathe cheap, lazy plot devices and villainisation for the sake of making the protagonist look better, or making the reader/viewer care about the author's favourite pairing. I tend to feel the exact opposite of what the writer(s) want me to feel. So merely hearing about the Billy as bad father fics makes me hate them, lol.

It's not true, anyway. The show didn't exactly do Billy any favours with erasing the twins, bc in the book, he was with Camila while she was giving birth to them, holding her hand etc, in contrast to Julia's birth. But even so, we have some evidence of him being a better dad, like when he rang Camila while on the Aurora tour and wanted to hear Julia just sleeping. They could have done more and I suspect they really did, that there were more scenes that they eventually cut. Idk, but this picture just makes me think there must have been more. Who knows...

So while he may not have been the world's best dad, he was not a bad one either. After all, as I started saying lately, (about real people but it goes for fictional too), people can be more than one thing.

Saying that, Eddie gives me mild incel vibes. If Camila wanted to be with Eddie, she'd be with him. "I'd choose you over everyone" means nothing, it's just words. It was a bit of a lazy shortcut for Camila to cheat with him, but that's just one of the show's sins. They gave Camila a creative profession and then did a fuck all with it, like why couldn't she have connected with a fellow photographer? Like that dude she talked to in the dark room or whoever it was.

I wonder if soon we'll start seeing articles on Screen Rant et al about how "wrong we were to ship Billy and Daisy and how emotional affairs ruin the lives of everyone around them" or something similar. More likely, though, the show will fade into obscurity which I will honestly be thankful for. I'm glad that Sam got what he needed out of it (he talked about it in interviews) and I'm glad Camila got some recognition, she just won a breakthrough award at Critics Choice and I'm glad Suki and the others got to be in it and the songs are good, and I wish them well, and I wish the writers a very hope your pens break and drafts get deleted and I hope Hello Sunshine burns down.

[decaflondonfog]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers 💫

i was tagged by @nv-md (ali pls why does tumblr never let me tag you what have you done) and then sort of indirectly by @fluxweeed! as always i loved reading your thoughts and i'm v grateful you thought of me. as always, this is just me talking shite for 20 answers:

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

12 revealed, but I do have my @aftgthenandnow fic currently hiding so 13 technically

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

99,518 (which my heart was immediately keen on saying it's "not that much" but all these words were written in the last year 365-ish days, which makes me very very proud)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

i'm still on my fandom whoring phase and loving it very much!!! i think it's mostly AFTG but I’ve dabbled in some Simon Snow and Check, Please! recently and have some more plans for those 🥰 honestly there is a RIDICULOUS amount of fandoms in my fic planning trello board, including: Call of Duty, The Raven Cycle, Red White and Royal Blue, BBC Merlin, and Our Flag Means Death. i love living in chaos!!!!

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

oh it's these guys: the benefits of a broken air conditioning unit and other summer lessons (aftg/andreil, 3k, E) geometric equilibrium (aftg/kandreil, 10k, M) kaleidoscope (aftg/fem!andreil, 5k, M) growing pains (omgcp/bittyparse, 50k, E) celly (aftg/gen, 800 words, T)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do! Or I try to, anyway. Why? Uhhh. Because I want to, really. I'm not one of those people who feels like they have to, especially because as a commenter I don't expect writers to ever reply. But I love chatting fandom stuff and fic — mine or otherwise, so I always treat comments as an opportunity to do so. Sometimes I think I have a super random, like... reply style, I guess you'd call it? But I'd rather engage a fellow fan in genuine conversation rather than say just "thank you," which obviously is still what I end up doing like 70% of the time.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

This is funny for me to think about because in former fandoms I was a bit of an Angst Guy lmao (mcd, unrequited love, cheating, miscommunication, you name it)... but I'm on a softer vibe now for sure. I think maybe a wreath of white lilies is my angstiest work but even that i wouldn't classify as angst? it's fucked up smut, if anything lmao

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Uhhhh, I guess growing pains? It's a very hopeful, very happy ending with a lot of closure for stuff happening both within the fic and before. So yeah! I think that one. Very romcom-y neat sort of happy ending!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

i have in the past but not anymore! i'm not good enough nor bad enough to get hate jkfgjhd

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

yeah, baby!!!! what kind...? uh. good question. i feel like i always end up writing porn with a ton of feelings — not just love/lust though! but i do love a Strong Emotion (hatred, grief, confusion, relief, obsession) to be the catalyst for fucking. I like it when characters are seriously into each other (again, not necessarily only in an attraction way), in a little insane way. it just makes things fun. so i guess... my smut is the Big Feelings kind of smut lol

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

oh i haven't... but i do have a bit of a wild one i've considered! not sure if i'd ever actually write it though, but it's planned out.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

in an earlier fandom existence, yes! it may even be around still, who knows? now... not that i know of?

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

i don't think i have! would love it though! i grew up bilingual so i have a lot of love for translation :') i'd actually love to try my hand at translating one day!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

i have started co-writing fics with a couple of people before, but not something super serious and either times it never got finished. buuuuut i am actually in the process of co-writing not one but two fics atm! @skeptiquewrites and i are working on a zimbits flavoured little something, and @whataboutmyfries and i are very nearly done with our kandreil get-together fic, which is really exciting.

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

hate this question actually LMAO i am a multishipper at heart. a good fic can convince me of ANYTHING. like my favourite ship when i stopped writing hp was two guys who weren't ever even alive at the same time so???? anything goes truly.

for the sake of nostalgia, it might still be remus/sirius, because they were my introduction to fandom and all its joys! but that fandom is kind of tainted these days >:(

hmmmm. probably zimbits actually? they invented true love, i think.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

hahaha so many!!! i have a catholic priest Neil fic that is a very fun idea but requires a ton of lore because it's so removed from canon... the kink is juicy but the laziness might be stronger. we shall see.

16. What are your writing strengths?

descriptions, baby!!!!! details!!! i want to say characterisation but i don't think that's always true... i just love thinking very deeply about the details of characterisation.. the little seemingly unimportant tidbits you can add in about a character that just tell you a ton about them without you having to spell it all out! i find that fun, even if it doesn't always work lol

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

dialogue... i hate it... i simply do not know how people talk... i don't know why they have to either LOL top ten most mortifying moments of my life was when a pal was beta reading a fic for me and said "hey there's no dialogue in this for the first like 5k at all... maybe we should do something about that" rip

i am also very bad at ensemble casts... while the weakness above is something i can't avoid, this one is a lot more avoidable but also something i am actively working on. i feel like my fics are very closed in on my MCs and their relationship but as a reader i love when the characters have meaningful interactions outside of that... so i'm trying to get better at that, even if it's really fucking hard. i'm lucky enough to have a couple of pals who are INCREDIBLE at this so i'm taking notes all the time.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

big fan!!!! i love all methods of doing this too! add it in and provide translation at the end, weave the translation into the text, make the character themselves translate it, etc. i think it's great! i think i've done it maybe a couple of times but should definitely do more...

19. First fandom you wrote for?

you already know what i'm gonna say... HP. i am of that specific generation and i'm just gonna have to live with that lol

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

hate this question hate it hate it hate itttttt do you mean favourite as in favourite final result, or favourite writing experience, or favourite prose, or favourite plot, or favourite characterisation, etc etc etc? i have a lot of love for growing pains, which i've already mentioned a couple times; and also for geometric equilibrium. for funsies, i'll say do not disturb the cats because i just love when an idea possesses me and i can't do anything else until i've written it LOL but yeah "favourite" is hard, sorry

uhhhh i've not seen this floating about a lot soooo sorry if i tag anyone who has already done it :/ but if you guys fancy doing this, i'm passing it along: @moondal514 @jaywalkers @mostlymaudlin @thetrojeans @ittyybittybaker @stabbyfoxandrew 💕 have funnnnnn

[emergency-51]

Emergency! Fandom Intro

A/N: Not really an “intro” per se because I’ve been here for a while, but I found this, and I thought I’d answer a few formal introduction questions! 

OP: @johnnys-green-pen  ... an amazing blog that you should totally check out!

1. How’d you find this show and the fandom? How long have you been here?

My mom grew up in the 70s and Emergency! was her favorite show growing up. It inspired her so much that she’s been a paramedic pretty much all my life! I started watching Emergency! when I was like six. As far as the fandom, I just kind went searching through the tags on here and found the community!

2. What made you stick around?

I just love the people in this fandom! It’s a small community, but I love it. 

3. Who’s your favorite character?

Johnny. Has been since day one.

4. Are you a shipping kind of person? If yes, what are your favorite ships?

Ehhhh. Not particularly a shipper. Platonically, though, Roy and John.

5. Favorite moment/scene/quote? Yes, you can pick more than one.

• One scene that stands out to me is when Dr. Morton is talking to the singer who overdosed on tranquilizers and she’s talking about how her career is finished and he tells her that he doesn’t believe that it is — it always touched me idk.

• Another is the episode with the big brushfire (Season 3) and Roy is talking to the wife of the fireman who got badly hurt and she says to Roy: “What’s worse than a complaining wife?” And Roy says, “A wife that doesn’t care.” — that one always makes me tear up.

• In season 2, the episode called “Seance” has a scene where they repeatedly report to a house of this couple where the wife thinks her dead sister is haunting them (I won’t get into it) but during one call, the husband asks Johnny and Roy to scope out the house and it’s always been funny to me because they’re actually scared they’ll find a ghost.

6. Do you have a favorite episode? Feel free to pick one per season if you can’t decide. 

• Season 1: “Botulism”

• Season 2: “Virus”

• Season 3: “Snakebite”

• Season 4: “Smoke Eater”

• Season 5: “Involvement” and “The Nuisance” -- I couldn’t pick just one.

• Season 6: “Loose Ends”

7. Most underrated character, either among the fandom or one of the writers never utilized to their full potential?

I would say either Stoker or Morton. I know Stoker wasn’t really intended to be a main character but I just always liked him and his occasional lines/appearances. Morton I feel like had a few episodes where he really shined but I think they totally could’ve done more with him.

8. One thing you’d have liked to see more (or less) of in the show?

ROY’S PERSONAL LIFE!!!! We hear about Joanne and the kids ALL THE TIME and I think we see her like once. I would’ve loved an episode where Joanne or one of the kids are a main plot point.

9. Do you have a fanwork recommendation for us? Fic, art, video, whatever?

I wish. I hardly can find any fan work :(

10. Any fanworks you’d like to see?

Literally all of it. I’m also involved in the Harry Potter fandom and I’ve been spoiled with the endless amount of content there. 

11. Any favorite headcanons you’d like to tell us about?

Brackett has a pet turtle. 

12. Free space! Anything else you’d like to mention!

This was fun, and I love this fandom <3

[everythingsinred]

Navigation Continued! I hate Tumblr :)

GA Ask Games:

ruka, natsume, & mikan character ask game (~50 questions each)

natsume & mikan character ask game (3 questions each)

character bingos: Natsume / Youichi / Mikan / Yuka / Kaoru / Ruka / Hotaru / Narumi / Aoi

ship bingos: NatsuMikan / HotaRuka (i think i misunderstood some of the squares lol)

character headcanon ask for natsume (25 questions)

salty fandom ask for gakuen alice (3 questions)

GA Character + Ship Opinion Asks:

GA (general)

Shiki / Sumire / Persona / Kaoru / Tono / Nobara / Yuu / Narumi / Kitsu / Koko / Sakurano / Hotaru / Natsume / Subaru

NaruMisaki / TsubaSaki / Kaoru&Yuka / Yuka&Luna

Plot/Analysis Questions:

opinions on hotaru x ruka as a ship: x x

mikan sports headcanons

thoughts on aoi staying at the academy past chapter 70

main 4 school and post-graduate headcanons

natsume as a catboy? (just in general, i hate ga being included in cross fandom polls bc ga characters will never beat better known characters even if they do fit better, and i hate my babies being used as nothing more than an extra round. but i cant do anything about that.) (also see my "natsume is a cat" posts below)

thoughts on the student x teacher elements in ga

clarifications on ch 44 narumi and yuka scene

natsumikan pregnancy thoughts

who fell in love with mikan first: natsume or ruka? OR when does natsume fall in love with mikan?

because of time travel shenanigans, do people remember natsume dying?

thoughts on queer hotaru and koko's alice

did natsume dance with or kiss other girls before he did with mikan? ALSO would natsume kiss another girl to make mikan jealous? ALSO would natsume have had sex with someone else under different circumstances?

would natsume worry about mikan falling in love with someone else during their separation? OR what would their relationship be like if they'd never separated?

in chapter 50, does natsume kiss mikan once or multiple times?

"actually the best ship dynamic is i would kill for you. i would kill anyone who layed a hand on you. please let me kill for you. please let me show my devotion by dirtying my hands, it’s the only way i know how. let me destroy anything that hurts you. i’ve hurt you too. i’m destroying myself." does this dynamic fit natsumikan?

on mikan's ability to hurt natsume and natsume's jealousy ALSO would natsume still get jealous in the future?

why doesn't mikan like her hair down?

should an anime watcher start the manga over or continue where the anime left off?

thoughts on the ending: x x x x x x (also, just read pt 39 of the mikan nm essay lol)

child abuse in ga: x x

fanfiction questions: x x x x x x (check out my "fic recs" tag)

Original Analysis/Tangent Posts

natsume's inevitable death

why i'm a natsume apologist and unashamed

natsume's "ambition" (just an indirect way of saying cxg greg is an adult natsume stand-in for me)

thoughts on jealous!mikan

love letter to the ga fandom

thoughts on my fav au ga fanfic

family and the institution of alice academy

natsume is left-handed

natsume is a cat (part 1, part 2, part 3)

kimono design significance (new year's arc)

~~

i'll keep this updated! since i know i'll be posting more... way more...

also if you want to read through my ga-related original posts, you can find them all under my gakuen alice tag.

Also, here are my AO3 and Fanfiction.net accounts! I write plenty of GA fanfic!

~ essay navigation ~

Have you ever thought to yourself, "Anya's essays are interesting in theory, but I really don't wanna read ALL of it! I just wanna read the analysis of my favorite parts!" or maybe "I DID read all of Anya's essays but now I wanna reread one specific thing she talked about and I can't remember which post it was in because there's too many of them!" ? Me too! Don't even worry about it! Today I am addressing those issues with a TABLE OF CONTENTS!

This is for essay parts AND in-depth character questions related to GA that I've answered. I get a LOT of questions about GA's ending and thus I feel like I've talked about it exhaustively. This is how I make it all digestible. <3 Love ya!

Anime NM Essay (6 parts/includes a self-contained and easy to navigate table of contents so I won't go into it again here)

NatsuMikan Essay (Natsume's Version) (30 parts. This is the one people actually read I think):

Part 1 (covers ch 1-4. corresponds to pt 1 of mikan's/ mikan entering the academy and the northern woods game)

Part 2 (covers ch 5-8. corresponds to pt 1+2+3 of mikan's/ northern woods game and mikan's intro to academy life)

Part 3 (covers ch 9-12, corresponds to pt 4 of mikan's/ dodgeball, letters, culture fest announcement, and central town)

Part 4 (covers ch 13-16, corresponds to pt 5 of mikan's/ the reo arc)

Part 5 (covers ch 17-20, corresponds to pt 6+7 of mikan's/ culture fest up to anna's shop)

Part 6 (covers ch 21-26, corresponds to pt 7+8 of mikan's/ rest of the culture fest)

Part 7 (covers ch 27-30, corresponds to pt 9 of mikan's/ exams, kaname & bear's story, beginning of z arc)

Part 8 (covers ch 31-35, corresponds to pt 10 of mikan's/ part 2 of z arc up to going through the tunnel)

Part 9 (covers ch 36-40, corresponds to pt 11+12 of mikan's/ part 3 of z arc up to the discovery of z's headquarters)

Part 10 (covers ch 41-44, corresponds to pt 12+13 of mikan's/ part 4 of z arc up to its conclusion)

Part 11 (covers ch 45-47, corresponds to pt 13 of mikan's/ natsume's bday and christmas ball prep)

Part 12 (covers ch 48-52, corresponds to pt 14 of mikan's/ christmas ball and winter cleaning)

Part 13 (covers ch 53-55, corresponds to pt 15 of mikan's/ part 1 of new year's arc up to n&m sleeping together)

Part 14 (covers ch 56-61, corresponds to pt 16 of mikan's/ part 2 of new year's arc up to yakumo and natsume's fight)

Part 15 (covers ch 66-70, corresponds to pt 17+18 of mikan's/ part 3 of new year's arc up to conclusion and aoi's departure)

Part 16 (covers ch 71-76, corresponds to pt 19+20 of mikan's/ transition arc including alice stones and valentine's day)

Part 17 (covers ch 77-80, corresponds to pt 21 of mikan's/ part 1 of sports fest arc up to the equipment mishap)

Part 18 (covers ch 81-86, corresponds to pt 22+23 of mikan's/ part 2 of sports fest arc up to n&m's masked hug and conclusion)

Part 19 (covers ch 89-91, corresponds to pt 24 of mikan's/ soul swap arc)

Part 20 (covers ch 93-95, corresponds to pt 25 of mikan's/ transition arc including swimming up to n&m hugging to comfort each other)

Part 21 (covers ch 96-100, corresponds to pt 26 of mikan's/ beginning of escape arc, natsume's confessions)

Part 22 (covers ch 101-116, corresponds to pt 27+28 of mikan's/ part 1 of time travel arc up to izumi's death)

Part 23 (covers ch 117-123, corresponds to pt 28 of mikan's/ part 2 of time travel arc up to conclusion & mikan's decision)

Part 24 (covers ch 124-138, corresponds to pt 29+30+31 of mikan's/ high school arc up to conclusion)

Part 25 (covers ch 140-143, corresponds to pt 32+33 of mikan's/ yuka's funeral, christmas ball and shiki's gift to mikan)

Part 26 (covers ch 144-145, corresponds to pt 33 of mikan's/ rapunzel arc)

Part 27 (covers ch 146-149/ natsume and ruka developments and new year's planning)

Part 28 (covers ch 150-163, corresponds to pt 34 of mikan's/ new year's concert and natsume's death)

Part 29 (covers ch 178-180, corresponds to pt 39 of mikan's/ final chapters, which we all know by now i despise)

Part 30 (covers the nm content in kageki, corresponds to pt 40 of mikan's)

NatsuMikan Essay (Mikan's Version) (40 parts. Longer and stole more of my soul but got less engagement) :

Part 1 (covers ch 1-2, corresponds to pt 1 of natsume's/ mikan entering the academy)

Part 2 (covers ch 3-5, corresponds to pt 1+2 of natsume's/ adventure in the northern woods)

Part 3 (covers ch 6-8, corresponds to pt 2 of natsume's/ mikan's intro to academy life)

Part 4 (covers ch 9-12, corresponds to pt 3 of natsume's/ dodgeball, letters, culture fest announcement, and central town)

Part 5 (covers ch 13-16, corresponds to pt 4 of natsume's/ the reo arc)

Part 6 (covers ch 17-19, corresponds to pt 5 of natsume's/ culture fest throughout the SA event)

Part 7 (covers ch 20-22, corresponds to pt 5+6 of natsume's/ culture fest up to imai sibling meeting)

Part 8 (covers ch 23-26, corresponds to pt 6 of natsume's/ culture fest up to conclusion)

Part 9 (covers ch 26-30, corresponds to pt 7 of natsume's/ exams, kaname & bear's story, beginning of z arc)

Part 10 (covers ch 31-35, corresponds to pt 8 of natsume's/ part 2 of z arc up to going through the tunnel)

Part 11 (covers ch 36-39, corresponds to pt 9 of natsume's/ part 3 of z arc up to mikan falling in the sand trap)

Part 12 (covers ch 40-43, corresponds to pt 9+10 of natsume's/ part 4 of z arc up to pengy's death)

Part 13 (covers ch 44-47, corresponds to pt 10+11 of natsume's/ conclusion of z arc, natsume's bday and christmas prep)

Part 14 (covers ch 48-52, corresponds to pt 12 of natsume's/ christmas ball and winter cleaning)

Part 15 (covers ch 53-55, corresponds to pt 13 of natsume's/ part 1 of new year's arc up to n&m sleeping together)

Part 16 (covers ch 56-61, corresponds to pt 14/ part 2 of new year's arc up to h+r+m chasing after natsume and ruka deciding to tell his and natsume's tale)

Part 17 (covers ch 65-67, corresponds to pt 15 of natsume's/ part 3 of new year's arc up to mikan getting hit by persona's alice for the first time)

Part 18 (covers ch 68-70, corresponds to pt 15 of natsume's/ part 4 of new year's arc up to conclusion and aoi's departure)

Part 19 (covers ch 71-73, corresponds to pt 16 of natsume's/ part 1 of transition arc, including alice stones and valentines day)

Part 20 (covers ch 74-76, corresponds to pt 16 of natsume's/ part 2 of transition arc, including the graduation concert and hoshino)

Part 21 (covers ch 77-80, corresponds to pt 17 of natsume's/ part 1 of sports fest arc up to equipment mishap)

Part 22 (covers ch 81-84, corresponds to pt 18 of natsume's/ part 2 of sports fest arc up to the borrowing race)

Part 23 (covers ch 85-88, corresponds to pt 18 of natsume's/ part 3 of sports fest arc up to kibasen and conclusion)

Part 24 (covers ch 89-92, corresponds to pt 19 of natsume's/ soul swap arc)

Part 25 (covers ch 93-95, corresponds to pt 20 of natsume's/ transition arc including swimming up to n&m hugging to comfort each other)

Part 26 (covers ch 96-100, corresponds to pt 21 of natsume's/ beginning of escape arc, natsume's confessions)

Part 27 (covers ch 101-110, corresponds to pt 22 of natsume's/ part 1 of time travel arc up to n&m/kaoru&yuka parallel)

Part 28 (covers ch 111-123, corresponds to pt 22+23 of natsume's/ part 2 of time travel arc up to conclusion and mikan's decision)

Part 29 (covers ch 124-131, corresponds to pt 24 of natsume's/ part 1 of high school arc up to hotaru's farewell)

Part 30 (covers ch 132-134, corresponds to pt 24 of natsume's/ part 2 of high school arc, including mikan getting 3 love confessions and returning 1)

Part 31 (covers ch 135-139, corresponds to pt 24 of natsume's/ part 3 of high school arc up to conclusion and yuka's death)

Part 32 (covers ch 140-142, corresponds to pt 25 of natsume's/ reuniting with mikan in labyrinth)

Part 33 (covers ch 143-145, corresponds to pt 26 of natsume's/ rapunzel arc)

Part 34 (covers ch 150-163, corresponds to pt 27 of natsume's/ new year's concert, escaping with persona, and natsume's death)

Part 35 (covers ch 164-166/ mikan trying to save natsume)

Part 36 (covers ch 167-169/ mikan's widow arc)

Part 37 (covers ch 170-172/ memories lesson)

Part 38 (covers ch 173-177/ mikan's departure)

Part 39 (covers ch 178-180, corresponds to pt 29 of natsume's/ final chapters... this part is just me ranting actually)

Part 40 (covers nm content in kageki/ corresponds to pt 30 of natsume's)

To be continued because Tumblr hates me and I hate it back <3

[siswritesyanderes]

If it had been Jasper-Sadie or Alice-Sadie as the vampires and finding their third later, how if at all would any of the “prior” story (the Twilght saga proper) have changed?

This turns the timeline inside out, but Meyer was never great at those anyway.

(Hi, if you're from the Twilight fandom stumbling across this post without context, Sadie is my OC in a yandere Alice/yandere Jasper/OC fic that you can read here.)

Ohhh, so much potential there! I can't answer that in full, because doing so would spoil what Sadie's potential vampire ability is. (Super sorry about that. Feel free to ask again after that information has come up in Rule One!)

I can say that both Bella and Edward would take to confiding in her and seeking her counsel with regards to their relationship. Especially if it's a Sadie-Alice duo; Edward would be super close with both Sadie and Alice (like he's close with Alice in canon), and while he sometimes gets frustrated with Alice, he pretty much always respects Sadie. It's like, Alice would be Bella's best friend and Edward's partner in crime (since she's still the one who would agree to kidnap Bella, whereas Sadie would never), and Sadie would be Bella's confidante and Edward's moral compass. Both Bella and Edward would go to Sadie for advice about each other, and Sadie, though startled by their neediness, would always have something valuable to say.

(Picture Bella or Edward bursting into Sadie's room with a question, and Sadie, wide-eyed, putting down whatever she's doing and saying, "Alrighty then, have a seat.)

Edward trusts that Sadie wouldn't lie to him, so the urgency in having Bella run to him in Italy before he sparkles in front of people (lest he read Alice's thoughts and assume she's lying to him) wouldn't be a thing; Sadie just runs Bella to Edward with vampire speed and is subjected to that whole reunion as an awkward third wheel while Alice parks the stolen car.

Also, Sadie would tip every fight slightly more in favor of the Cullens, but she would also have a habit of really wanting to talk to the enemies instead of attacking them. This is good/useful with the Volturi but not so good/useful with Victoria and Riley.

Oh! Also, Sadie would realize that Victoria will probably follow Edward's scent, in Eclipse, and Sadie would accompany him and Bella in sitting the battle out, so that they have more backup against Victoria. Jasper and Alice wouldn't be privy to the fact that Victoria is coming; this is just a realization that Sadie has that Edward hears in her mind. (As far as Jasper and Alice are concerned, Sadie is sitting the battle out just to be safe, and they're happy that she won't be in harm's way.) This is where Sadie's need to talk to enemies would become a problem, because both Victoria and Riley are too far gone to listen to reason, but Sadie really believes in them and wants to convince them they don't have to die today. It still turns out fine, though. Sadie gets a little hurt, but she's fine. Alice and Jasper would be absolutely smothering, after. Victoria is lucky she's already dead, because they would make her suffer.

And Sadie would think to explain things to Irina before Alice realizes that Irina is going to the Volturi, so that whole misunderstanding never happens.

All of that being said, the thought of "Yandere Alice meets Sadie first" and "Yandere Jasper meets Sadie first" got really interesting to me. So I have to talk about those scenarios immediately.

I'm going to place Sadie sometime in the twentieth century in both cases, and I'm going to try to let the time period matter as little as possible, but feel free to imagine them in 50s or 60s attire, lol. (Or 70s or 80s; again, it doesn't matter that much; I'm just placing her in the twentieth century to keep the rough order of events the same, kind of.) I'm approaching this with the assumption that Alice and Jasper still become vampires in the same way/at the same time as they do in canon; they just meet at different times. I'm not dealing with the Confederate thing here, though, because I'll be dealing with it in Rule One.

I'm gonna go ahead and put it all under the cut. (And if your experience of Rule One is more invested in the potential for wholesome romance than the yandere aspect, maybe the rest of this isn't for you, because this is definitely more yandere-leaning, lol.)

Alice-Sadie

Alice knows three things: 1. Her own name. 2. That she is going to join the Cullens. 3. That Sadie, whom she has not yet met, is her soulmate.

Though she slips up every now and then, Alice does her best not to eat humans. She wants to fit in with the Cullens by the time she finds them, so she's accustoming herself to the animal diet. Anyway, she has a mate out there whom she will meet as a human, and she has to get herself under control before she can risk being around her.

The thing is, Alice knows about Sadie before Sadie is actually an option, so she has to kill time so that she doesn't meet Sadie too early. And Alice hates waiting, so she goes ahead and introduces herself to the Cullens before Sadie. She tells them all about how she'll have a soulmate soon, and how it's killing her to keep her distance but she knows things will be way better if she never meets Sadie as a child. She decorates her room with things that Sadie likes, anticipating that one day she'll be sharing the room with Sadie. Honestly, if it weren't for Edward's mind reading, the rest of the Cullens might think Sadie was an imaginary friend or something.

(Rosalie would normally take issue with Alice's plans to intrude on the life of a human she's never met just because of a potential future where they're in love, but she doesn't really take Alice's fantasizing seriously until it's too late.)

One day, Alice just sort of disappears from the Cullen house, and only Edward knows where she's gone.

Sadie is finally at the right age; it's time.

Alice appears in Sadie's life, and everything she says and does is perfect. She rockets from stranger to friend to best friend at an impressive rate, her precognition easily compensating for Sadie's hesitancy (and Sadie would start off more wary than she is in Rule One, due to the time period). Having left the rest of the Cullens, for the time being, there is nothing (read: no one) holding Alice back from being absolutely surgical about making herself important in Sadie's life and subtly isolating her. She gives expensive gifts, and comprehensive compliments, and she always knows what to say to make Sadie like and trust her more.

When Sadie starts to become suspicious about the evolution of their friendship, Alice drops the vampire bomb and the soulmate bomb all at once, showing Sadie her speed and strength and sparkles. There was no better way to do it. Alice checked; this was the absolute best set of circumstances for the reveal.

Sadie asks for time to process the information. She asks for space. Alice graciously allows it; she's practically living with Sadie at this point, anyway. (Not that Sadie knows it. But yeah, she's in Sadie's house pretty much 24/7 (minus her hunting trips), dodging notice with stealth and psychic powers.)

When Sadie is ready to talk again, Alice pours out every reassurance: how she will never stop loving her; how she would never hurt her; how she thinks about her all the time and loves her so much. Sadie isn't fully won over by the whole vampire lover concept, but Alice does convince her to come meet her family.

They go to the Cullen house. Alice shows her off to everyone, and Rosalie is stunned, and Emmett laughs incredulously. Edward and Carlisle make polite introductions, and Esme hugs her, just glad to see Alice so happy. (Esme has been so worried about her newest daughter, so flighty and constantly pining for someone who wasn't there. And then she disappeared, and anything could have happened to her! But now she's back, and she's brought someone lovely, and she looks happier than Esme has ever seen her.) Carlisle and Edward give Sadie a more in-depth explanation of how vampires operate and why the bond between mates is a big deal. Esme cooks her a huge meal. Before they know it, nighttime has come, and Sadie falls asleep in Alice's room.

She wasn't drugged or anything; Alice just perfectly orchestrated a set of circumstances in which she would be tired by this exact time.

When she wakes up, Alice is an utter angel, offering her breakfast and a bath and telling her that there's more to see, around the house. She hasn't seen Rosalie's garage, yet! She hasn't seen Esme's garden. And soon enough she's sleeping over again.

On that third day at the house, Rosalie pulls Sadie aside to say that she'll drive Sadie home, if Sadie needs her to. But Alice has done her job well; Sadie likes Alice, and she likes the Cullens, and most of all, she's so curious about vampires and the world thereof. She's willing to stay and learn, provided she can visit her friends and family, and provided Alice doesn't try to change her. She fills several journals with what she learns about vampires, all in the span of a single year. She learns so much, and she's never satisfied that she's learned enough.

When Alice asks her to let Carlisle change her, she chooses exactly the right conversation, exactly the right approach, and exactly the right time. Sadie agrees and becomes a vampire. (She kind of has to, for this prompt, lol.) Rosalie is annoyed, but she knows that Sadie thought the matter over thoroughly.

When the day comes that Alice sees Jasper in their future, she drags Sadie off to meet him, barely explaining herself beyond "We have another mate!". Sadie goes along with it because she's used to Alice's antics.

They meet this crimson-eyed, roguishly handsome vampire, and Jasper is pretty instantly enthralled with them both. He's curious about their golden eyes, charmed by Alice's forwardness, and amused by Sadie's mix of intrigue and wariness. The emotional flavor of Alice's joy and cheerfulness, and of Sadie's curiosity and uncertainty, are enough to pretty much have him wrapped around their fingers right away.

Sadie's reaction is more "Ohhhh, Alice, this guy eats people..."

Alice just goes, "It's okay. Jasper will be willing to change his diet if we ask him to. Won't you, Jasper?"

And it's so presumptuous, but also he's into it, because Sadie has already made it clear that eating humans is a deal-breaker for her, and he doesn't want this meeting to end.

He joins the family, and it feels like the best thing ever; he has two amazing soulmates, and he belongs to a large coven that will always be safe from strangers. The animal-eating thing is a downside, but there's no help for that.

The dynamic for the next little while is that Alice is already in love with both Jasper and Sadie, Jasper is already in love with Alice and Sadie, and Sadie is in love with Alice and polite to Jasper but isn't quite sure about him. Like, she's in a peculiar place of "We are soulmates, and I do like you and feel an attraction to you, and I understand how our personalities are good together, but I don't know how long it'll take me to become comfortable with your past", and Jasper is just falling over himself to earn her approval, but she's comfortable with allowing it to take time.

(Rosalie is secretly very entertained by the whole thing, and Emmett is not-so-secretly entertained.)

Unlike in canon, Jasper would never suggest eating any human ever again; even once Sadie is comfortable with him, he never wants to risk making her doubt him the way she did in the beginning.

Jasper-Sadie

So at this point in his life, Jasper is eating people. His eyes are bright red, and he is ruthless, and Alice isn't around to temper that side of him.

This is absolutely a kidnapping situation.

When he runs into Sadie (entirely by happenstance), he doesn't know immediately that he is in love with her; he just knows that he wants to follow her, so he does. He stalks after her like he has stalked lots of prey in the past. Her blood doesn't sing to him, though; after several hours of just tailing her, he realizes that he just likes to hear her breathe and speak and laugh. He likes to look at her. He likes to taste her emotions on the air. He likes this human.

Then he realizes that he's in love with her, as much as Peter is in love with Charlotte.

He never wants to stop looking at her, listening to her talk...

He manages to get her alone, and he introduces himself in a charismatic, gentlemanly fashion. He kisses the back of her hand (managing to ignore the feel and sound of her pulse so close; he shouldn't take a risk like that again) and says, "Good afternoon, ma'am. My name is Jasper Whitlock. May I ask what your name is?"

She notices the coldness of his skin and the redness of his eyes (and again, time-period-wise, this interaction is very weird), but he is sending her the most powerful waves of comfort and calm that he can. She is dazed and perplexed, but not afraid, as she answers, "I'm Sadie Gilder."

It's the most beautiful name he has ever heard.

He abducts her pretty much then and there; he leads her away with a request that she accompany him and a heavy layer of mood control. Sadie is able to break out of the daze (through sheer overthinking) after they've walked together awhile; by the time she asks, "Wait, where are we?", they've reached the secluded mansion of an old widow.

(Jasper doesn't need a place to sleep, but his Sadie does, so he quickly identified this place as the best option.)

The order in which Jasper eats the occupants of the house and brings Sadie inside the house is up to your imagination, as is whether or not Sadie ends up seeing any bodies or seeing him with blood on his face and clothes. Either way, just the kidnapping itself is enough to have Sadie panicking, and he hates to feel her fear.

He holds her, gives her calming energy, and whispers to her. "Don't be scared. I won't hurt you, Perfect Sadie. I won't eat you. You're too special. Just gonna keep you right here." (He's just eaten a lot of people, so he's okay with breathing right next to her, so that he can keep whispering to her.) She falls asleep in his arms. He doesn't stop holding her, and he doesn't stop whispering. (Also, remember how the first thing he says to Sadie in Rule One is that she's warm and soft? Yeah, he still says that, pretty much verbatim, in this scenario. I'm not putting it in quotes, because it sounds dirty in a kidnapping context, but he for sure says it.)

The next day, since he's keeping up the comforting vibes to keep her from being afraid, Sadie asks Jasper a lot of questions. He tells her everything he knows about vampires. He isn't fully versed in vampire mating, so he isn't able to really inform her that his obsession with her is, to some degree, an inherent vampire trait, but he is very good at conveying to her that he is obsessed.

With no one to tell him to cool it with his power, and with his diet of human blood making his power more potent than it would be on animal blood, Jasper uses it at pretty much full capacity every time, instead of subtle shifts in emotion. So, while Sadie does notice that it's happening, she can't keep herself from the effects of his power by self-awareness alone.

He generally doses her with the same kind of peaceful calm he uses when he meets strange vampires for the first time, instead of the lethargic calm he uses to keep prey docile. He uses the latter when he wants her to sleep, but for the most part he just wants her to be unfearful and communicative.

She eats the food that's in the house. When he's able to convince himself to leave her unattended (usually after he's put her to sleep), he picks up more groceries and abducts some humans for himself. He keeps them in the cellar, far enough away from Sadie that she needn't know they're there but close enough that he can still hear her when he goes down to eat them. It's actually very convenient, not to have to hunt often; he just has to pop down to the cellar and enjoy a few of the already-injured occupants. Having a steady home has its upside. It's a shame someone will eventually notice the widow missing and he'll have to move with Sadie. But there will always be another empty mansion, or a mansion that can be easily made empty.

(When it's time to change homes, Jasper carries Sadie to the new destination while she's sleeping.)

Partially due to the mood control and partially due to the upfront-ness of everything, there's honestly very little tension between them. There's fear, sometimes (The one time Sadie tries to leave the mansion while Jasper is eating, he runs up from the cellar to stop her, and he's still covered in blood, and she's terrified, and it takes him a lot of soothing to get her calm again. It upsets him when she's scared.), but no tension. Sadie would like to leave, but she gathers that she can't, so all there is to do is maneuver within the new situation and learn more about her captor.

And neither of them is inherently a romantic. Jasper loves her, but even he isn't under the impression that they're dating or something. As far as he's concerned, he's keeping her; as far as she's concerned, she's studying him. Jasper is ecstatic with the arrangement, and Sadie is as comfortable as the situation allows.

Peter and Charlotte follow Jasper's scent at some point, wanting to hang out, and Jasper socializes with them outside the mansion, explaining that they can't go in because there's a human inside whom he is invested in keeping alive, and he can't risk them eating her. When they learn that he's in love, they ask if he plans on changing her, but he says that he can't yet. His control isn't good enough.

One day, Alice shows up.

She meets Jasper while he's in town, gathering food for Sadie and himself. They still have the little "You kept me waiting" "My apologies" flirtation, but he's a little more guarded, because he has to get back to Sadie, and as much as he is already beguiled by this weird-eyed stranger, he doesn't want her following him home. She's a vampire, and no vampires are allowed near his Sadie.

Alice really wants to skip the wooing; she's already seen herself with Jasper and Sadie. But she knows that mentioning Sadie too soon could make Jasper defensive, so she has to sprinkle herself slowly into Jasper's life, meeting him when he comes to town and letting his instinctive attraction and fondness for her grow into trust over a span of months (even moving towns when he does). She doesn't say anything about him switching to an animal diet, either; she tells him that she eats animals, but trying to influence him at this stage could alter her chances of seeing Sadie. Better to just let him murder.

Once they're at the right place, trust-wise, she tells him that she is already as in love with Sadie as she is with him, due to her psychic visions, and she asks to meet her. At first, Jasper isn't ready, but after she's asked a few more times, he allows it.

Alice has to be extra careful, because she wants to just run and hug Sadie as soon as she sees her, but if she makes a sudden move, Jasper will react badly. (Especially since the speed that comes with her small frame makes her a genuine threat to Sadie, even with Jasper there.) Not to mention, she has to endear herself to Sadie, whose only experience with vampires has been abduction.

"Sadie Lily Gilder," Alice says, barely restraining her excitement. "I am Alice Cullen. I'm your other soulmate."

Sadie is mostly perplexed and a little exasperated, but Jasper feels suddenly as if the sun has broken through the clouds. (Which means a lot, since he was already happy before.) Alice's joy at finally getting to see Sadie seems to fill the room, and this is his first time hearing Sadie's middle name, and...

"I like seeing you together," he realizes.

For the next few months, Alice is allowed to visit Sadie every now and then, under full supervision from Jasper. He can feel that she loves Sadie as much as he does, but he's still got to be careful. Humans are so fragile, and he's used to only trusting himself. When she comes, Alice brings Sadie little gifts that she never thought to ask Jasper before. She brings a new spritely energy to the house that Sadie comes to enjoy.

The following few months, (and after Jasper has watched her hunt animals) she's allowed to stay over full-time. They watch Sadie sleep, together. She's able to answer more of Sadie's questions.

Alice introduces Jasper to the idea of joining a family she's seen in their future. He doesn't want that many vampires around their Sadie, but as always, Alice says just the right things: they're all animal eaters; she hasn't seen a single future where any of them hurt Sadie; and the eldest of them could change Sadie for them.

(She also has to convince Sadie to want to become immortal with them, since she knows that Carlisle and Edward would be against turning her against her will. It helps that Sadie has been captured by a vampire for a while, now, and being a vampire herself would give her a chance of exerting some control over her future.)

When they meet the Cullens, Alice acts like they're already best friends. Jasper is more formal in asking the patriarch if he can change Sadie for them.

Edward calls them out on kidnapping Sadie, but Sadie points out that, unless things come to blows between the Cullens and Alice and Jasper, the only way for her to no longer be kidnapped is by becoming a vampire.

So Carlisle changes her, and she stays with the Cullens so that she can have someone to help her overcome her thirst during her newborn years without slipping up and hurting someone. Alice and Jasper stay with the Cullens, too (and the Cullens tell Jasper that he has to switch to the animal diet if he wants to stay). Eventually, all three of them are close enough to various members of the Cullen family that they just sort of become part of it.

Having been kidnapped at the start of all this, though, Sadie exerts her autonomy in pretty much every way. In her newborn years, in which she is more temperamental (though that isn't saying much; she's still pretty mellow by newborn vampire standards), she confronts Jasper for what he did, and he pretty much just takes it; things have worked out pretty great for him, so it's only fair to let her get it off her chest. Sadie can feel the bond between her and Alice and Jasper, but she can also feel that he didn't have to do what he did. She goes to visit her human family, once she knows that she won't eat them; she and Rosalie go on lengthy road trips; she and Emmett go to football games; she goes volunteering and home renovating with Esme; she learns languages and musical instruments from Edward; she learns vampire history from Carlisle and even joins him on a trip to Volterra.

She lets Alice buy her clothes but overall gives Jasper a wide berth.

Alice, having gained full trust from Jasper, is able to convince him to allow Sadie her space for a while, as she comes to terms with everything that happened. Jasper agrees, since Sadie isn't so fragile anymore and he knows that Alice is keeping an eye on her. So long as they know where Sadie is at all times, and so long as she is accompanied by at least one of the Cullens, he can bear to spend uninterrupted one-on-one time with his newest mate, especially if doing so will help Sadie to forgive him.

The diet of animal blood makes him less wild (but more tense, as he can feel that he is weaker), and the newness of everything in Sadie's life raises her spirits. Maybe eventually she'll be willing to hang out with him again, but it'll take a few years.

[forasecondtherewedwon]

Hex Life

Fandom: WandaVision Pairing: Darcy Lewis/Jimmy Woo Rating: E Chapters: 10/10 Word Count: 34k

Summary: Guest starring Agent James E. Woo as himself and introducing Dr. Darcy Lewis as Mrs. Darcy Woo!

Or: Darcy and Jimmy are sent into the Hex to retrieve Captain Monica Rambeau. Finding out Westview has cast them as a married couple is only the first of the surprises that await them.

read ch. 1 one / 2 two / 3 three / 4 four / 5 five 6 six / 7 seven / 8 eight / 9 nine / 10 ten

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Jimmy’s going to be a dad. He was going to be a dad in a black-and-white sitcom world and now he’s going to be a dad in a world on the regular spectrum, so the colours really aren’t as big a deal as his impending fatherhood. Possible fatherhood. As much as he’s always secretly wanted his own little Jimmy Woo Jr., he didn’t know if it would be in the cards for him—pun obviously intended—and the last thing he wants to do is influence Darcy either way, especially since he’s only known her a couple days and doesn’t have a clue if a baby was really part of her life plan.

It can’t just be rose-coloured glasses making him see his wife warming to the idea though; when she continues down the hall ahead of Jimmy and Monica, he spots her careful cradling of the baby bump. He can barely stand not touching her. The instinct to shelter others has always been one of his strongest and now he feels it intensely. He longs to protect Darcy, to hold Darcy, to love— Well. Jimmy clears his throat at the very thought and Monica gives him a suspicious side-eyed glance.

“Dry throat,” he lies, tapping his neck in a probably highly unconvincing gesture.

“Uh huh.”

Yeah, she doesn’t sound convinced.

He’s rescued by a burst of sound from the bedroom and dashes ahead of Monica in case Darcy’s in trouble. When he bangs the bedroom door fully open, she’s fine. She’s laughing. He sighs and looks where she points. The queen-sized mattress they shared has changed back to a pair of narrower beds.

“Seriously,” Jimmy says flatly.

“Well, the big bed worked its magic,” Darcy concedes. She pats her rounded stomach. “Mission accomplished.”

“Aw jeeze.”

Ignoring his distress, she sits on the end of the closest bed.

“What I like is that they’re magically made. I didn’t end up having to change the sheets. This is really the next step in home technology.”

“Honey, don’t encourage the magical forces that control our home décor,” he pleads, beckoning until Darcy rises and takes his outstretched hand.

“Better than getting on their bad side. In the AI uprising, you wanna make sure you’re friends with the robots.”

This is an outrageous statement coming from a credible scientist, so Jimmy squints down at her for a minute before saying, “Thanks, house,” aloud, just in case appeasing the Hex now saves him from being closed into a room with no door later, if the walls rearrange to form the ’70s model of their current home.

“You did the smart thing,” Darcy assures him.

As they leave the room, she keeps hold of his hand. He shoots adoring glances at her.

“Hey, Monica,” she says, calling to their guest, who seems to have gone to investigate the walk-in closet. “Accommodations aren’t going to be a problem. I can give you some pajamas too because I think I own at least a dozen pairs, as I’m sure you’ve already discovered…”

But when they look in the closet it’s… not a closet.

“Or maybe the Hex destroyed all my pajamas and I should take back my overtures of friendship,” Darcy corrects.

“Welcome to your nursery,” Monica says. “I’m guessing from the look on Jimmy’s face that this is new.”

It’s spartan, but there’s no doubt in Jimmy’s mind that the room is now intended to be exactly what Monica said. There’s a crib in pieces on the carpet and a rocking chair in the corner. Though he can’t remember this room having even one window, there are now two. The blinds are drawn against the night and curtains patterned with stars and streaking comets hang from a rod mounted above the window. Automatically, he pulls Darcy into his side. He feels her rest her head on his shoulder.

“Man, the Hex is really giving us the hard sell,” she comments.

Just like that, he’s guiding her around by her upper arms and propelling her from the room. He glances over his shoulder to see Monica following with an amused smile. At his nod, she pulls the door shut.

“Ignore it,” Jimmy tells Darcy. “Don’t let that room influence you.”

“Oh, like that’s easy.” She rolls her eyes.

“I know it’s hard not to picture reading Jimmy Junior to sleep in his crib, or watching him learn to roll himself over on the carpet, or cuddling him in your arms in the rocking chair as the morning light—”

“Jimmy Junior?” Darcy asks, interrupting Jimmy’s rapidly solidifying daydream.

“You know what? I’m starving,” Monica announces, putting a hand on each of their shoulders to head off the awkward pause. “How about you two show me some hospitality? I’ve had a long day of being mind-controlled.”

“How ’bout some comfort food?” he asks. “I make a mean bowl of chili.”

“Sounds great.”

So, Jimmy cooks for them. His attention is unequally divided between the simmering pot, Monica leaning against the counter next to him as she recounts the scene at the meeting when Wanda went to take his call, and Darcy sifting pickily through the contents of their fridge. He glances over after putting the lid on the pot to let the chili finish cooking and sees his wife contemplatively holding an egg like it’s Yorick’s skull. Ok, well, he’s just going to leave her to her thoughts.

He sets bowls of chili for himself and Monica on the dining room table. Darcy, justifiably finnicky, takes longer to decide what she’ll be able to stomach, reflexively rubbing the baby bump as she plunders their kitchen. Finally, she comes to sit down. She’s brought a spoon. That’s it. Jimmy’s going to ask, but Darcy just scoots her chair close to his and takes intermittent mouthfuls of his serving while the conversation continues on. He sighs in unannoyed exasperation and alternates dips of his spoon with hers.

It’s just another weird routine they’ve settled into, and like everything else, it didn’t take long.

“You two didn’t know each other before this assignment, right?” Monica checks, motioning between Darcy and Jimmy with a slice of buttered toast.

“No, why?” Darcy asks, dropping a chunk of tomato from her spoon onto his. (Apparently, she doesn’t like tomatoes.)

Monica smiles and says, “No reason.”

She seems ready to accept them as they are, whatever they are. She goes back over the events of this afternoon for Darcy’s benefit—who was zoned out staring at an egg at the time—then the three of them turn to talk of tomorrow. What does Monica feel she needs to try before she’s willing to concede and leave the Hex with them? What can she try? How can Jimmy and Darcy assist her? They talk themselves in a circle of possibilities, limitations, and Monica’s unswerving negative answer to suggestions of her leaving the Hex without getting through to Wanda. Eventually, they decide that the best plan may be no plan, since they’re up against Westview’s ever-shifting magical properties.

“We’ll get up in the morning and see what the world looks like,” Monica says.

Jimmy’s going to reply when the Captain’s expression alters.

“Are you remembering?” Darcy asks her astutely. Monica stares at her. “I don’t want to pry, I’ve just seen that look on a lot of people’s faces lately. People who came back.”

“This isn’t dissimilar,” Monica admits. “When I get anywhere near Wanda or the other characters with speaking parts and start to lose control to… Geraldine—” Jimmy thinks the look on her face is both disgusted and deeply hurt. “—I do get this feeling like the world is going on without me. Only I’m there. I’m right there. I haven’t made up my mind yet if it’s worse than being gone entirely then coming back to find nothing’s the same.”

“Yeah,” Darcy says, soft, sympathetic.

“I don’t know what else the members of this community have been through, but I know I don’t want them to have to keep going through this too. I can’t imagine how tight Wanda’s grip is on the people who were here when she started this. Not sure I’m qualified to be the one to tell her how to let go of her grief and move on.”

Monica blinks quickly and gives a forced smile.

“That was good chili, Jimmy.”

He nods in thanks because he can’t find the right words to say.

They’re all carrying something and Jimmy thinks about that as the three of them clean up, then splinter off to get ready for bed, tired for different and shared reasons. (He changes into his pajamas in the nursery—they found their clothing in a new, regular-sized closet in the bedroom—while Monica and Darcy take the bathrooms.) The Captain’s carrying her recent bereavement and the unignorable sense of responsibility she feels to help Wanda and the Westviewers, possibly precisely because she isn’t ready to confront her own loss. Darcy’s doing some literal carrying with the baby bump her pajama top is buttoned over when she steps out of the en suite bathroom to let Jimmy in to brush his teeth. She’s an astrophysicist who, while studying a television diversion from reality, was brought rudely back to earth by circumstances as real as they come.

What Jimmy’s carrying is actually carrying him: his hope. It’s a good thing to have in his line of work, but a tough thing to keep when the world’s been through what it has. A baby is the least likely and most longed-for thing he would’ve confessed to wanting if someone asked him what was missing from his life.

When it’s acknowledged through awkward glances that, yes, Monica’s taking one of the beds and Jimmy and Darcy will share the other, he climbs under the covers his wife holds open for him. She rolls away from him to lie on her side and he gets comfortable on his back. The Hex has definitely eased up on what it wants for their romantic development because this is the first time he’s been in bed with Darcy and not felt himself caving to the need to have sex with her. Oh, the desire to touch her is as powerful as ever, but the kind of touching he craves is as tender as the flesh of that peach he brought her earlier in the day.

But he doesn’t want to crowd her. Figuratively or literally. Between finding Monica and calling Wanda, making love to Darcy all afternoon and being presented with her pregnant belly in the evening, it’s been a dog’s breakfast of a day. The mission abruptly became just the second most daunting thing he needs to pull off. Now, he’s driven by the impulse to be near Darcy. She doesn’t know it, but she’s drawing him in like gravity and he can only cross his fingers for a soft landing.

Jimmy almost jumps when she reaches for him in the dark, hand feeling behind her until it finds his. She drags his arm over her and he flips onto his side to make it easier. Though Darcy lets him go when his arm’s around her, he doesn’t know where to rest his hand. Tentatively, he places it over her belly and she wriggles back into him. Heart bursting, he holds her more securely to his body, smooths his hand over the bump, and soon falls asleep.

—

The floor wakes him up. He’s just fallen out of bed.

Disoriented, Jimmy sits up in a tangle of comforter and squints at his bed companion in the morning light. They must’ve repositioned while they slept, but that alone wasn’t what forced him to and over the edge—he can see the shape of Darcy’s belly beneath the sheet. It’s noticeably larger than it was yesterday.

He’s still trying to come to terms with that when she sleepily grasps the comforter and yanks it back over her body. Jimmy chuckles and rises into a stretch. Monica’s bed is empty and neatly made, so she must be up already. Before entering the Hex, his internal clock was strict too. Since, he bends to the needs of his subconscious, which seems happiest when it’s allowed to sleep in, particularly if Darcy’s warming the sheets next to him. This is only their third day in Westview and the second time waking up here, but it feels wonderfully routine. As satisfying as completing his consistently-timed morning run or pouring exactly the right amount of milk into his cereal.

Although he’d like to let Darcy sleep, it’s weird now because he’s staring. Anyway, they need to tighten up their operations even further today if they’re going to get out of here soon. Monica requires either success or closure with Wanda, so Jimmy’s determined to help with that. And if Darcy’s pregnancy takes another leap forward, well… that’s another time crunch to consider.

She’s lying on her side, facing him, belly in the space where he fell asleep. Gently, he brushes hair out of her face and strokes lightly up and down her arm.

Darcy gives him a murmured “Hi” with her eyes still shut.

“You gonna get up?”

“Inaminute,” she promises, words running together.

“Alright.”

Jimmy hovers for a second, then darts down to kiss her forehead. She pats his shoulder clumsily in response.

He might as well have had his own eyes shut, blind to everything but Darcy, because it takes opening his wardrobe to realize Monica was correct—everything’s changed again. WandaVision has embraced the ’70s. The shirts and suits he was pretty comfortable with have been traded out. Those items still exist, but now they’re aggressively patterned. There are flared pant legs. There is so much corduroy. Out of the row of shoes tucked into the bottom on his side of the closet, half have platform heels.

“Oh god,” Jimmy groans softly, sifting through for something that won’t feel too much like a cheesy costume.

He ends up with jeans—his only pair of pants without a pattern—and a striped shirt with wide lapels. The Hex’s makeover of his closet has him so beaten down that he doesn’t even pick out a jacket. He doesn’t have the heart for business casual. At the sight of a long-sleeved jumpsuit, Jimmy closes the closet door securely. They have to get out of here. This will be the thing that breaks him.

Slouching into the bathroom, he drops his selections on the counter and takes a shower. As he washes his hair, his fingers slow their scrubbing. Is his hair… longer? He finishes quickly and steps out to find the mirror fogged with steam. He wipes it clean with his forearm, examining his reflection. This place isn’t through with him yet: the Hex has given him a mustache.

Jimmy screams.

“Fine!” Darcy shouts back to his wordless noise of dismay. “I’m up! God, you could’ve just set an alarm and OH MY GOD, HAVE YOU SEEN THE SIZE OF THIS BABY BUMP?!”

He sighs on behalf of himself and his wife, slicks his too-long wet hair back with a comb, then starts in on shaving off the mustache. It immediately grows back.

“Come on,” he complains, cursing the Hex. “Why’d you give me a razor then?!”

Luckily, his annoyance fades the minute he sees Darcy. She’s swearing up a storm about needing to pee and her head looking too small for her body because the Hex has straightened her hair, but he takes all of her restless irritation in with a dazed smile on his face. Adjusting her glasses—now almost circular, with rounded off corners—she catches sight of his new look and erupts into laughter. Whatever the Hex does to mess with their appearance, at least they’re each other’s best medicine to combat it.

“I don’t want to be insensitive,” Monica starts when they walk into the kitchen hand in hand, “but are you significantly more pregnant than you were yesterday?”

Jimmy watches Darcy nod and slips away from her to throw some more bread in the toaster from the bag Monica’s left out on the counter for them.

“You’d think it’s just this big, shapeless dress,” Darcy says, “but no.” She pulls the fabric taut over her stomach to show the size of her belly more accurately. “I don’t want to say it, but the size of this thing makes me think the Hex is leaving me room to grow.”

“And if that dress is only for today…” Monica says.

“Jeepers,” Jimmy concludes.

They eat together in their reconfigured living room. It’s not until Monica’s kicked back in one of their low chairs, ankle propped on her opposite knee, that Jimmy notices her patterned pants.

“Those aren’t from Darcy’s closet are they?”

“No. I’m assuming they’re my clothes from yesterday with the matter recycled for a new decade. Believe me, this outfit wouldn’t have been my choice if I had anything else to pick from.”

“I wouldn’t be too sure. I had a whole closet and still ended up with this,” Jimmy says, motioning to himself.

“My retro Secret Agent Man,” Darcy states admiringly, leaning her head over to bump against his shoulder. Ok, he thinks, smiling at her, I can be alright with this for her.

When Monica rises to turn on the television, Jimmy realizes this is the first time they’ve had one in the house. He remembers seeing a set in the Vision residence when he and Darcy were watching an episode on the S.W.O.R.D. base, but he didn’t notice the lack once they got here. Probably because that first night was taken up with flirting, and then yesterday was split between scouring the downtown for Monica and holing up in the bedroom with Darcy. Watching the screen buzz to life now is like witnessing something truly futuristic and spectacular.

“Well, whaddaya know,” he says as the opening sequence of WandaVision begins.

“You think the TVs in here play anything else?” Darcy wonders aloud.

“Maybe not,” Monica says distractedly as they all turn their attention to Wanda and Vision’s adorable antics—the ice cream, the tandem bicycle. “It’s a pretty big coincidence that this show started right when I turned it on.”

“I can see an even bigger coincidence.”

There’s no need to guess what Darcy means. Wanda’s baby bump is obvious in nearly every shot of the introduction, particularly emphasized when she and Vision dance together, his hand on her belly. It’s all maternity clothes and Vision reading pregnancy books and while it’s wholesome, it’s also chilling.

“We’re doing the same plot,” Jimmy says.

“It’s like we’re… their understudies,” Darcy agrees, shrinking back into the cushions.

“Maybe Wanda figured, if you two wanted to be in the show so bad, she’d put you in the show,” Monica theorizes. “Her show. Exactly the way she’s living it.”

“So she’s teaching us a lesson? On what? Abstinence?”

“Could be a misguided attempt to gain your sympathy.”

“Or it really is all about control,” Jimmy suggests, cynical after the reveal that the pregnancy that’s upended his entire life isn’t really theirs. It’s not original. They’re following a Newlywed Couple template.

“Hey,” Darcy says, grabbing his arm, “this wasn’t all Wanda. She might’ve set the scene and, yeah, maybe we were more the goatherd puppets than we were Fraulein Maria and Captain von Trapp, but we did this.” She pulls his hand to her belly. “Wanda doesn’t decide what we do next.”

“What I suggest you not do next is consult Dr. Misogyny over here,” Monica says, gesturing at the television.

The doctor is condescending to Wanda and Vision about the facts of life during a checkup (in their living room?). He lowers himself even further in Jimmy’s regard when he refers to expectant mothers as “little ladies” and implies that the changes in their own bodies are beyond their understanding.

“What a quack,” he decides. “We’re not going to see that guy.” He’s startled to recall his promise to Darcy the previous evening, about options, his intention not to make up her own mind for her. Lowering his voice, he tilts his head close to hers. “I mean, we’ll do whatever you want. Including…”

Jimmy trails off and casts his eyes down. He still means it, wants Darcy on board with this 100% or not at all, but the whole thing’s been a roller coaster and he’s not great at pretending not to feel anything. With his wife so much further into her pregnancy today, it’s obvious that this baby will be born and they’ll need to decide who’s raising it. He thinks the two of them together could rear a pretty incredible kid, but if she wants out, is he prepared to be a single parent? The other option besides her, him, or both of them raising the baby is adoption. They’d need to leave the Hex before taking those steps (it’s not like he’s going to encourage Darcy to hand the baby over to a mind-controlled Westviewer), and just thinking about it, with everything he already feels for the baby, makes him certain that he’d rather rearrange his entire life than pass on this chance at a family. However unorthodox their beginnings.

“Don’t worry,” Darcy says calmly, pulling him from his spiral. “That guy will never get the chance to compare my uterus to a vegetable garden.”

“Fruit,” Monica corrects without looking away from the television.

“Right. Fruit. He’ll have no say about any of it. And he definitely won’t get the opportunity to be patronizing as fuck while he tries to give us the sex talk.” She looks Jimmy right in the eye and says, “I won’t let the asshole doctor-man say a word about your banana.”

Chuckling, he looks back to the screen. The doctor has departed and Vision’s currently baffled over Wanda’s newly expanded stomach. Uh oh. He jerks his head around to check and, yep, Darcy’s baby bump appears to be keeping up with the sitcom star’s.

“You two stay here,” Monica instructs, on her feet when Jimmy glances over.

“Where are you going?” he asks.

“To Wanda’s. If things continue at this rate, she could give birth in this episode. That’s going to make her even more protective of her family and her space and I’ll have an even harder time getting near her.”

“Are you sure you want to interrupt?”

They both glance at the television for a moment to observe Wanda and Vision debating baby names in the nursery. There’s nothing distressing about the scene—in fact, the couple looks as much at ease as Jimmy’s seen them on the show—but that doesn’t mean it couldn’t change, and quickly, if Monica inserted herself. He just isn’t sure how that would go and he doesn’t like any plan where he can’t foresee all the possible outcomes.

“Guess I just have a feeling,” Monica says, looking unsettled.

“Well,” Darcy pipes up, “in the world of science, having a feeling is forming a theory, and in this place… I think having a feeling you should do something might be Wanda giving you your cue.”

“You’re not beyond her control,” Jimmy tells Monica, “just farther away from it. What if Darcy’s right?”

“If Wanda wants me there, I’m not going to resist,” she replies firmly. “She’s the key and we need her cooperation.”

“Good luck,” Darcy bids her.

With a nod to them both, Monica strides across the living room and opens the front door.

“Speaking of keys,” Jimmy recalls, but the door shuts before he can offer to let her borrow their car to get to Wanda’s.

Maybe the Captain has a different plan. Maybe she’s just bending to Wanda’s influence. Whichever it is, he can’t go after her. Monica was right—he has to stay here with Darcy today, especially because her belly seems larger when he looks again. He glances at her face with a question on his and she nods.

“And I felt a kick,” she says.

“Really? Could I…? Do you think I could…?”

Darcy rolls her eyes at his reticence and guides both his hands to the bump. When he feels something nudge his palm, Jimmy tears up.

“That’s our baby,” Darcy confirms.

“Feels like they have my softball windup,” he murmurs.

“Or my pre-coffee restlessness.”

“Our baby,” Jimmy repeats, staring into her eyes—finally blue for the first time in days, give or take a decade.

They’re having a marvelous family moment until the power goes out. Lights, TV, the hum of the fridge in the kitchen, everything. Seconds later, it all comes back.

“That was strange.”

“I wondered what Wanda’s magic was doing to the power grid,” Darcy says. “I’m still curious about the finer points of what happens when electricity meets power generated by an Infinity Stone. Really, I’d expect Wanda to have this kinda thing under control, but I guess if she’s— Ugh!”

Her pained noise has Jimmy cupping her face, pushing back her hair, trying to figure out what happened.

“She’s distracted,” she says.

“By what?”

“Labour.”

“What? No.”

Sure enough, when Darcy stands (with Jimmy leaping to his feet to support her) and stretches her back, her bump looks big enough to contain a baby that’s almost ready to be born. Ready to be born?! Jimmy thinks. In our house? With no doctor? Just because the one on TV rubbed him the wrong way doesn’t mean he’s prepared to write off every doctor, nurse, and midwife in Westview. He would very much like to place responsibility for this delivery in the hands of a medical professional, not his own!

Even as the TV’s flickering back to life, he helps Darcy away from it. That just shows how serious things are. He knows how quickly she became invested in the sitcom when they reviewed the ’50s episode at the base.

After some frantic thought, he’s thinking the bathtub is going to have to do. People do that right? With home births? Although he attempts to guide Darcy in that direction, she doesn’t even want to sit down on the edge, let alone climb in. No, she wants to pace, and as she paces, she rubs at her lower back, wincing.

“We could look at the nursery,” he proposes. “Might take your mind off it.”

Jimmy knows it could be a weak suggestion, an insult to imply that anything could take Darcy’s mind off whatever discomfort she’s currently feeling, but the Hex, with its radioactive walls, smiles down on them for once. With his arm around her to take some of her weight, they hobble into the baby’s room and it’s… perfect.

The walls are dark blue near the ceiling, almost black, fading to periwinkle halfway down the wall. The lower portion transitions from blue to pale yellow, then a blazing orange right before the baseboard.

“It’s a sunrise,” he comprehends.

“Yeah,” Darcy says softly.

Though he feels like he got slightly ripped off by not being allowed a chance to do any of the decorating, he does admire the Hex’s choices. At last, his wife’s been represented in this space, in this house, and it’s beautiful. There’s a shelf full of space-themed board books, a plastic jumble of play versions of scientific tools like telescopes. A dangling mobile of the planets. After easing his wife into the rocking chair, Jimmy holds up a pack of glow-in-the-dark stars.

“Should I put these up?”

She smiles.

“I would be all over that shit if I could, but I trust you to do a good job.”

“Oh no. Do you want me to do real constellations?”

“The baby’s not gonna know the difference. Make it look however you want.”

She rocks, assuring him something about the motion is helping her manage the intensifying pain of her contractions, and Jimmy finds a small stepping stool to help him reach the ceiling. The sway of the chair in the corner of his eye, the morning light through the curtains, and the sound of Darcy breathing are things he already knows he’ll never forget.

Before he’s stuck all the stars in the pack to the ceiling’s white paint, she calls him down from the stool.

“I need to walk again.”

Darcy says it with grit and Jimmy doesn’t argue, even when walking appears to put her in even more distress; she groans and pushes her free hand against the wall as they stroll out of the nursery and down the hallway.

“Let’s check in with Wanda,” Jimmy says helplessly.

This is who he is now: a husband in over his head, desperate to gain tips about delivering a baby from a TV sitcom. An overwhelmed real estate agent. A man with a mustache.

They return to the living room and the TV playing WandaVision in time for Monica’s entrance. Based on her free use of ’70s slang and the general discord between the Captain Rambeau Jimmy’s been getting to know and the woman on the screen, he knows they’re looking at Geraldine. Wanda’s back in control of her character alright, and Jimmy wants to know who it’s helping. The scene’s centered around some joke about Wanda attempting to hide her pregnancy, which is no good for him. He needs a step-by-step guide, not a magic-resistant stork!

“There better not be a fucking bird in here,” Darcy gripes, alternately crouching and standing as every position fails to make her comfortable. “If I see a fucking, goddamn, sonofabitch, motherfucking—”

“I know, sweetie, I know,” Jimmy assures her, rubbing circles between her shoulder blades with the flat of his hand.

“The betrayal,” she mutters when Wanda elects to lie down behind a couch.

It completely blocks their view. If this were a regular show, Jimmy would understand that. Sitcom viewers would definitely appreciate a little TV magic over graphic, up-close-and-personal birth footage, but here at the Woo residence, one FBI agent and his astrophysicist wife really just want the truth! If Monica had agency, he’s sure she’d shove the couch aside to help them out, but with Geraldine at the helm, he’s confronting the fact that he and Darcy are on their own.

“Let’s go, Darcy,” he says, steering her towards the bathroom. “We don’t need her.”

“Are you sure?”

He’s never heard Darcy sound so uncertain and knows he’ll have to bluff his way through this. When the Avengers aren’t around, the regular people must step up. Reminding himself of that has gotten Jimmy through more than one tough day on the job and he tells himself it’ll get them both through this.

“Of course.”

In the bathroom, Darcy kicks out of her underwear and uses Jimmy as a crutch to climb into the tub. Her face is scrunched up severely and her hands are braced against the walls of the bathtub, so he tries to watch and understand what she needs. When all the tension in her face and body burst out in a shout, he grabs her hand. Her fingers curl around his palm in a death grip.

“How about some nice warm water? Water, Darcy?”

She nods rapidly, eyes clenched shut, and he turns on the facet, then quickly reaches behind her to plug the drain. The stream wets his sleeve and, when he withdraws his arm, hits her hair around the level of her shoulders and begins to soak the back of her dress. Between contractions, Darcy sighs in what sounds like relief.

“That feels good,” she acknowledges.

“Good,” is all Jimmy can say back. He kisses her face and squeezes her hand in his. “Good.”

He’s back to scrambling for a solution soon enough when the warm flow of water down her back stops being enough to soothe her. He helps her out of her sodden dress, tossing it behind him to splat on the tile floor.

“What do you need?” he asks wildly, leaning over the tub.

“Earplugs,” Darcy tells him before emitting a scream shrill enough to probably be heard by their neighbour’s dog, Dipper, down the street.

Jimmy doesn’t think, he just does. Snatching a towel off the rail, bracing his wife’s foot against his shoulder as her leg spasms, reaching into the water to collect their baby when the Hex (he assumes) does them the favour of letting one long push be sufficient to expel him. Him. Jimmy and Darcy’s son.

He’s beaming through the happy tears, delicately wiping at the wailing baby with the towel and passing him into Darcy’s outstretched arms as she shakes with astonished laughter, hair wet, head resting back against the jut of the faucet.

“That wasn’t so hard,” he jokes.

Darcy sits up, sending a splash of water over the side of the bathtub to slap the floor, and he knows the Hex is interfering again to make her capable of anything besides exhaustion after what she just accomplished. She twists sideways in the tub until she’s closer to Jimmy. He wraps an arm around her wet shoulders and peers down at the face of their boy, already drowsy after exercising his tiny lungs. Jimmy can feel Darcy studying his face.

“Jimmy Woo Junior?” she asks.

And he knows the rest is going to be gravy.

—

Inside the Hex, the magic of television is real. They didn’t need to fake Darcy’s pregnancy with a cushion to make her belly, round and taut as a beach ball, disappear entirely only minutes after giving birth. They didn’t need a set of twins or triplets playing Jimmy Woo Jr. to swap in a quiet baby for one that starts to cry. There’s no trick lighting or fudged angles, just Darcy sitting on the couch (in dry, non-maternity clothes) catching their amazingly calm, less than an hour-old son up on the details of his origin story—Darcy’s wording.

It’s shaping up to be a nice, if highly unusual, family day in, until the tension starts to mount on-screen. Probably something Jimmy could’ve caught sooner if he weren’t spending 50 seconds out of every minute stroking the baby’s teeny-weeny hands while he hopes Jimmy Jr. retains zero memory of his dad’s mustache. When he hears Monica mention Wanda’s brother by name, he’s fully alert to the episode and knows he has to act. That close to Wanda, Monica’s control should be fully suppressed beneath the character of Geraldine. If she’s breaking through to ask Wanda person questions, questions that are almost definitely going to provoke an emotional response, Monica must be fighting like crazy to surface. Jimmy decides that’s his signal to get over there and help bring this thing to a satisfying conclusion so they can all leave the Hex.

“You’re not going to Wanda’s without me,” Darcy informs him, planted in front of the door when Jimmy returns from grabbing his keys.

“Darcy, you can’t. The baby. I’d stay with him and let you go, but I’ve never heard you mention particular skill in hand-to-hand combat and I can’t guarantee things won’t turn violent.”

She snorts.

“Liar. I could be the world’s biggest hand-to-hand badass and you’d still be trying to protect me right now.”

He stares at her and Darcy stubbornly lifts her chin as she holds his eyes.

“Ok,” Jimmy concedes, “yes, I would.”

“Please don’t leave us here,” she says, cheek pressed to the baby’s. No, no, no, he can already feel himself wanting to surrender, to have them with him. Darcy kisses their son’s face, then holds his hand to gesture while she pitches her voice higher, pretending to speak for Jimmy Jr. “I want to meet Auntie Monica.”

He gives her a look and reaches past her to open the door. Instead of trying to exit around his family, he waves Darcy through ahead of him. (She looks down at the baby in her arms and goes “Yaaaay! Isn’t Daddy a soft touch?”)

“You didn’t persuade me,” he says, leading them to the car and holding the door for Darcy while she climbs into the back seat with the baby. “This is strategic.”

“Is the strategy common sense? I feel like you should’ve gone with that from the beginning. Bringing a scientist to a magic fight is good thinking, for, like, balance and shit.”

Jimmy backs down the driveway as gently as he can. Their car’s been modernized (well, for the latest decade) and while it now has seatbelts, it wasn’t equipped with a car seat for their son. He’s going to have to drive with the utmost care.

“Hopefully, there won’t be a fight,” he reminds Darcy, “but if there is, you won’t be anywhere near it. You and Jimmy Junior are staying in the car. Alright?”

When he darts his gaze to the rear-view mirror, he sees his wife looking out her window, making a show of not listening to him. Jimmy sighs.

Without thinking, he navigates back to the street where they dropped Monica off yesterday. Wanda’s house is just down from Dottie’s; he remembers the number from watching WandaVision. Jimmy draws up to the curb and parks. He glances back at Darcy, but she’s still ignoring him.

“I’ll try to be right back,” he tells her anyway, eyes dropping longingly to the serene face of his sleeping son. He’s heard that about babies and car rides.

Jogging up the driveway, he does a doubletake of a ragged slash in the wall between Wanda’s property and her neighbour’s. There’s not exactly anything wrong with a damaged cinderblock or an amateur handyman job, but the crevice in the stone stands out in a world so aggressively styled and manicured.

Wishing for the reassurance of his gun at his hip in case things go south (it’s the first time he’s even thought about the gun since the night he and Darcy arrived), Jimmy enters the Vision residence without knocking.

Orienting himself to what he was just watching on TV in a house less than a mile from here, he walks across the entryway, attracting the attention of both Wanda and Monica. They’re standing across from each other in the living room. Raising his hands to show he intends no harm, Jimmy sweeps his eyes over the scene in assessment, like he has a hundred times before. Monica’s expression is alarmed under superficial friendliness—the look of someone trying to placate an attacker. With her aggressive, forward-leaning posture and the way she’s positioned herself between Monica and the cribs (he’s surprised to see more than one, but he did miss some of the episode while he was delivering his son in their bathtub), Wanda fits that role.

“Wanda,” he says, taking a step towards the seating area, “you don’t want to hurt her.”

“Are you working with her?” Wanda demands. “Who are you? I’ve never seen you before.”

“James Woo. I’m not here to hurt you. Neither is Geraldine.”

“You don’t want to hurt me? Then why do you come asking questions? Saying things—” He can see her chin wobble from here as she teeters on the edge of tears. “—about Pietro. You didn’t know my brother.”

Her statement is directed at Monica, but Jimmy tries to bring her focus back to him. Of himself and the Captain, he’s the one with an exit at his back, whereas Monica’s hemmed in by a large bookcase.

“I didn’t know your brother,” Jimmy agrees. “I do know about him, but we don’t need to talk about that. I don’t want to upset you, Wanda, I just want you to let me leave with Geraldine.”

“Oh, I’ll let you leave,” Wanda says, cocking her head as she raises her hands. This motion conveys the opposite meaning to Jimmy’s—she does intend them harm.

He’s contemplating what’ll happen if he tries to rush her when Darcy charges through the front door he left open.

“Don’t!” Jimmy gasps, making a grab for her, but his body is tense with caution and Darcy has the momentum to dodge him, stepping down the level into the living room.

“Look,” Darcy demands of Wanda, whose expression is torn as she chooses between facing Monica and this new intruder.

Jimmy’s mentally composing and rejecting ideas of how to proceed when their unwelcoming host lowers her hands. She’s looking where Darcy directed her to, at the baby in Darcy’s arms.

“He was born less than an hour ago, and I only found out I was pregnant yesterday, but that doesn’t matter. I know it’s the same for you, the circumstances and the… yeah, whatever. You know about the Big Bang, right?” she continues, jumping to the next thought.

“Yes,” Wanda says carefully.

Jimmy’s terrified to move closer and set Wanda on the offensive again. He glances at Monica, who seems to be thinking the same thing, frozen in place.

“From nothing to so much, in an instant,” Darcy’s saying in her condensed history of the universe. “Science is supposed to be full of all these rules. Like, every scientist dude important enough to remember had some law or formula or method that we map everything on top of when we’re pretending we understand all this. Being in science isn’t a goal I’ve had for a long time—I mean, I probably wouldn’t be in it now if the world hadn’t more or less ended—and if all I ever heard about the workings of the universe was rules, I would’ve stayed away. Who likes rules, right? Who wants to be told that things are the way they are because something outside of your control says so? My point is…”

She takes a deep breath, then another one, shifting until she’s blocking Wanda’s expression from Jimmy’s view.

“Sorry, I just gave birth, you know how it is,” Darcy says when she goes on. Jimmy’s stricken with exasperation, adoration, fear, and pride. “My point is that I love science because, while science is laws and rules and equations, science is also standing outside at night and staring up at the dark. There are explanations for every light that’s up there and why, even when you’re away from big cities and the sky seems so black and close, you don’t fall up into it, although it kinda feels like you could. Science can tell me why, and it still feels like magic when I look at the stars. And we’ve all been traveling out here in space together, getting made and unmade and made again because the right ingredients needed to create something as precious as a planet, or a baby, or the clay that’ll make the bricks that’ll make the house never disappear. Suns explode, asteroids collide and get chipped away… things can separate down to their smallest part, life can…”

“End?” Wanda asks.

Jimmy’s stunned to hear the word come out choked. Cautiously, he leans to get a glimpse of Wanda’s face. It’s covered in tears. Darcy’s nodding.

“But everything’s valuable. All matter gets reused.” Jimmy wants to grab her and pull her to safety when she takes a step closer to Wanda. “I get it if you’re sad and you’re not ready to talk about it. I’m not gonna say it’s ok, because I’ve heard Monica’s testimonial on exactly how much it sucks to have you in her head, but I do think you should let us leave now so you have a few friends out there when you inevitably need people on your side.”

“You can go,” Wanda agrees, swiping at her nose. “I won’t hurt your baby.”

“You’re not going to hurt my friend either,” Darcy says, beckoning for Monica to cross the room behind her. “Or my husband.”

“No,” Wanda says.

Monica reaches Jimmy and they wait for Darcy in the entryway.

“I bet all that control feel really good,” Darcy theorizes. “Taking it into your own hands. But I think you know that focusing on the beautiful, magical stuff doesn’t mean the rules no longer exist. Maybe you can find a way to accept them both.”

“It’s time for you to leave,” Wanda says, firmer now.

“Not looking for a life coach, got it.”

She joins Jimmy and Monica, bouncing the baby lightly in her arms. Wanda ushers them out of the house ahead of her. Jimmy glances back to see her close the door after herself with a twist and red glow of her hands.

“What about waiting in the car?” he mutters to Darcy as they stride down the lawn.

His self-proclaimed wife stares at him.

“I’m not the kind of person who waits in the car. Would the kind of person who waits in the car give a speech like that?”

Jimmy’s at an honest-to-goodness loss for words.

She gets into the car willingly enough now, Jimmy in the passenger’s seat while Monica slides behind the wheel.

“Wanda’s told me how to stand, how to move, how to walk since I got in here,” Monica says, turning the key in the ignition. “I’m driving myself out.”

“It’ll part for you when you get there,” Wanda calls to them from the lawn. “The barrier. I suggest you do not attempt to enter again.”

“I think we’ve all had our fill,” Jimmy informs her cheerfully through his rolled-down window.

She doesn’t respond to this, so Monica executes a three-point turn and takes them back up the street the way they came. From there, they turn out of the subdivision, but Jimmy snags a last look at Wanda through the back window. There’s a light breeze blowing her dress and hair and she looks like she could be anyone. A suburban mom of twins? Why not. He doesn’t know if he’ll ever see her again in person, but he has plans to catch her show.

“Wanda’s changed the roads,” Monica says as she drives. For his son’s sake, Jimmy’s grateful that she isn’t speeding, though he wouldn’t blame her for trying to get out of here as quickly as possible. “None of them lead out of town.”

“Literal tourist trap. Brilliant,” Darcy declares from the back seat. Jimmy reaches an arm back blindly and feels her close her hand around his.

“But,” Monica adds, “I remember Ellis Avenue being the closest cross street to the edge of town. We find that, then drive over the grass. Things may get a little bumpy.”

“We’ll survive.”

Jimmy twists around to look at Darcy. He nods. They will. They’ll survive.

They cross Ellis and take the car off-road. The barrier remains invisible, but…

“I can feel it,” Darcy says.

“Like we did the day we came in,” Jimmy recalls.

“It still wants us out,” Monica interprets. He sees her staring uneasily ahead. “Was I naïve to think I could change anything by coming in here?”

“No, Captain. It was brave.”

“Didn’t work though. We aren’t leaving with Wanda.”

“It could work,” Darcy says. “We left her with a few things to think about. We’ll watch WandaVision and see.”

“That’ll be strange after being a part of it.”

“You think so?” Jimmy wonders. He takes a deep breath, enjoying the fresh air and the sunshine, playing with Darcy’s fingers laced through his. “I think it’s returning to regular life that’s going to feel strange. Out there, it’s easy to see all this as a TV show, but everything in here is real.”

“We’ll make Hayward understand that.”

“I’m bringing back some compelling evidence,” Darcy says, followed by kissy sounds directed at Jimmy Jr.

The air just a couple of car lengths ahead of them abruptly glows red as Wanda reveals the wall of the Hex. Jimmy and Monica exchange a look, but she doesn’t slow down. They pass through without resistance. All of a sudden, it’s night. Monica lets out a relieved sigh.

The S.W.O.R.D. base is looming, exterior lights ablaze, but Jimmy looks backwards, checking that Darcy and the baby are alright.

“Same as you left us,” she says, pulling back the blanket to show him the face of his son.

He gives her a slightly melancholic smile.

“Not quite, Dr. Lewis.”

“I’ll have a lot of work to do,” Darcy notes thoughtfully, “but time for you and me to go on dates will be on my list of demands.”

“You have a list of demands?” Monica asks, laughter in her voice.

“After being forced into the Hex, where I could’ve lost my life? Fuck yes, I have a list.”

“What else are you asking for?”

“The coffee I requested on day one and a desk in a better spot so there’s room next to it for the crib that will also be on my list.”

Monica laughs aloud now.

“Is this a benefits negotiation or a baby shower registry?”

“Let’s get back to the part where we’re going on dates,” Jimmy says. “How’s that going to work?”

“Jimmy, darlin’,” Darcy begins, “will you go out with me?”

He leans to look around his seat at her.

“Darcy, we were married. We have a baby. Don’t you think we can—”

“Answer the question, Agent Woo.”

“Of course I’ll go out with you,” he says.

“And that’s how it works. Easy-peasy.”

She gives his hand a squeeze before releasing it to hold Jimmy Jr. more securely as Monica pulls up to a building and brakes. Already, S.W.O.R.D. agents are rushing out to meet them, but Jimmy drops back against his seat and smiles to himself.

“‘Easy-peasy.’”

[drowninginredink]

Shit, I should write aro rarepairs! That's a really good point. Okay adding that to my mental list.

I won't say who, but I know an aro person in this community who really wants to write gen fic but is afraid no one will read it without a ship, and makes fics they want to keep platonic a little romantic for that reason. I hate that fandom culture as a whole has given them that very reasonable fear. This fandom in particular is not the problem. I mean, yes, it's ship-centric and there's barely any gen, but that's not exactly unique. My aro Ian fic has 70 fucking kudos; clearly the fandom is receptive to aro content and it just isn't being written.

I will encourage you to write aro stuff, Jax. I get the uncomfortableness, but a) do you know how much I'd read the FUCK out of a fic with an aroflux character? I'd read that so, so, so fucking hard. I used to ID as aroflux and I think it's less a case of "I was wrong about my identity" as "I just kinda ended up feeling a lot less romantic attraction over time so aroflux stopped fitting and just straight up aromantic was better." So. As a former aroflux I'd adore that

b) I don't think anyone should be afraid to write aro characters even if they aren't aro. I mean yes. Don't do anything you're not comfortable with. But I personally would just kill for someone to try, especially if the fic itself isn't actually about being aro, the person just happens to be aro. Write an FWB fic and focus mostly on the dynamic and have a throwaway line where one of them says they "don't do dating." There. You've got an aro character. It doesn't have to be a huge thing of representing the community. It can be a background detail. Actually, unrelated, but I wish people did that with psychotic characters. Just offhandedly have people hallucinate and it's just, a normal thing that character does sometimes and they check if it's real and then move on.

c) If you or anyone else in this fandom is nervous about writing an aro character and you want me to beta-read for you, I totally will. Or you want to ask me questions about being aro before writing. I've done that for someone already, in fact.

d) Aromantic fics doesn't have to be about actually being aromantic, IMO? Like I count my QPR Changela fic (which, that's my rarepair—God I love it so much and I need to write more and I need other people to join me) as aromantic, but I see both of them as being allo in that fic—their soulmate just happened to be someone they weren't romantically attracted to even though they are allo and so they decided they'd rather have each other than anyone else. I'd count that FWB Shaymien fic you wrote me as aro. Aro fic can just be prioritizing other themes over romance.

e) aro background characters are always an option.

Anywayyyyyyyy if you like aros and rarepairs so much you should join me on that QPR Changela train. I guess the QPR Damian fic I'll write someday counts, too. And since antmien's number one fan started this, now I've got an aro antmien fic half-written in my head...

I have such a love hate relationship being in love with rarepairs. Like bro there's little to no content unless you make it yourself but that's also the fun of it? There's just so much fun in taking something that maybe others wouldn't see or ship and being like "yeah... I like that" but it also sucks y'know what I mean?? Anyways we have fun here lol

[hanaasbananas]

20 Questions Fanfic Writers Edition

Thanks for the tag @nomolosk and @marvelousmsmol! I finally got around to doing this. It turns out that standing in/walking around a classroom for 7 hours five days a week really tires you out and makes you crash immediately upon coming home. Who knew?

How many works do you have on AO3?

36, though if you count those hundred one shots I did earlier this year but put in one fic, then it's over a hundred lol

What's your total AO3 wordcount?

209,046.

Woah. I've gotta say, when I posted that first fic in 2018 just to see what it was like (and after I saw my friend take the plunge and start posting), I never thought I'd end up here. But then, I never predicted what would happen after I wrote my first ML fic either so...

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Five! I've written the most for Miraculous, but also The Musketeers (one of my absolute favourite set of fics that I still go back to read), That 70s Show, Once Upon a Time, and Avatar: the last Airbender

What are your top five fics by kudos?

Oooh, I've never actually checked this...

100 Ways to say I Love You- 817

it's all a game of chance (they say in wonderland)-788

our eyes speak (but on our lips is silence)- 768

Collect your Courage- 727

I'll never be the thief (to bring in hot scattered hell)- 643

Ok those first three are no surprise, but I didn't realise that 2 ATLA fics had made my top 5, that's pretty cool! I should...probably work on continuing that series. Sometime

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to! I usually respond to comments just to thank people for reading or answer any questions/talk about the fic when they say what their favourite parts were, but sometimes I'll forget to reply and then remember too late and I'm like "well it would just be WEIRD if I replied nOW".

Case in point-all the comments on the final chapter of 100 ways. I got so many comments and such an outpouring of love that it was kind of overwhelming and I thought I'd wait a couple days before replying to all of them at once. And then a month passed. And another. And then it was 4 months later and it was too late. I still go back and read those comments because you readers are TOO KIND but sometimes I wonder if people think i'm rude

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Last week, I'd have said it was a tie between let's get covered in flames and play some games with the smoke, and Phantoms in the Dark. Phantoms has the epilogue which sort of softens the blow, but even though it's a oneshot, Flames was just absolute pain for the last quarter of the story.

And then I decided to go back to Flames and write The End. And that is just SAD. I was honestly crying so much when I wrote it. Like, it took me just over four months to write, not just because of life things keeping me busy but because some scenes were so intense and angsty that I had to take a break from the fic for like, a week at a time after writing them.

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

I've written a fair amount of fluffy one shots, but the first fic that comes to mind is actually my first ever ml fic it's all a game of chance (they say in wonderland). Idk, most of the story is pretty angsty, but I feel like the ending makes up for it, with Gabriel arrested, Emilie okay, and Marinette waking up. Honestly one of my favourite parts from the fic is at the end where Emilie sees how happy Adrien is at the hospital when he's about to introduce her to Marinette.

Another one with a good happy ending is and in that moment i became yours. It's honestly pretty crack-y as well towards the end which is why I like it tbh

Do you write crossovers? If yes, what's the craziest thing you've ever written?

I've never written a crossover, but I daydream about them all the time. A lot of my daydream crossovers usually involve doctor who, even though I don't watch it anymore. I think one of my favourite crossover ideas was for a fic where it's one of those five times things for 'five times the Doctor met Zuko' because I mean...how much fun would that be?!

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

No, and I honestly think I would cry if I did. I did once get a weird comment on one of my fics telling me they hated Adriens characterisation in that particular story but they seemed to have interpreted his motivations completely differently to how I intended so I just went "okay cool" and forgot about it

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Nope. That's just not my thing, though I have experimented with writing a little spice, I've never written anything explicit and probably never will.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of

Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but it would be cool if someone did.

Have you ever cowritten a fic?

No, but I've talked about writing a series of one shots with @theanxiouscupcake some time. Not sure when though

What's your all time favourite ship?

In Miraculous? Lovesquare all the way. Across all fandoms I'm in, it's Constance/D'Artagnan from The Musketeers and Francis/Mary from Reign. What can I say, I love my historical romance

What's a WIP you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

I try to keep my WIP list short for this exact reason, so I usually only start a new fic after I've finished one on the list. This doesn't always work out

I ABSOLUTELY intend on finishing this, but Forgotten Promises. I have the entire story outlined and know each plot point, at this point it's just a case of WRITING it. I think I also feel a weird sense of pressure to follow up Phantoms, which has held me back as well, but it's also a case of how with Phantoms, I wrote the whole thing before even thinking of posting the first chapter so there were no expectations. That, and I wrote most of it when I was bedridden after falling down the stairs and couldn't really do anything else other than watch netflix and write

What're your writing strengths?

Dialogue, I think.

It took me a long time to feel like I was getting dialogue right, but now it's one of my favourite things to write. If I'm struggling with a scene I'll just write out the dialogue without any tags and I can end up with a whole page of dialogue to work with, it's great.

What're your writing weaknesses?

Oh boy, where do I even start?

Description is a big one. I always have to try really hard at description-both of settings and feelings. Sometimes I'll read a fic with such gorgeous descriptions and just feel like I could never compare lol. Especially when sometimes I find myself overusing the word 'feels/feeling' to describe someones emotions, but when I try to use description it just ends up clunky and awkward.

It's why I'm always scouring my work for overuse of the words 'and' and 'as' because boy oh boy are those crutch words. It's always 'he said, as he did this' or 'and then he did this, and moved and said that' and it drives me NUTS. It's a fun activity to go through my fic and then see how I can get rid of the offending word to make the sentence flow better though, so I can't really complain. Especially since apparently I'm really paranoid about using those words and see them everywhere even if I haven't used them much. Oops.

Another weakness is that I cannot write more than two characters to save my life. I've been practising but that's a big reason for why I don't write many multichapter stories or anything with a complicated plot because I am really bad at characterisation and placing more than two characters in a scene. Something to work on in the future though!

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other language in fic?

I've never done it, but if I did, I would put the speech in italics and then say something like she said in...whatever language, because honestly I wouldn't want to run the risk of using google translate and getting it horrifically wrong. The only time I'd write it out in the language was if it was urdu because I'm fluent

What was the first fandom you ever wrote for?

Oh yikes.

First ever published fic was an Alex Rider one I wrote when I was 14. It was a year after the final (at the time-and tbh where I maintain the series ended) book had come out and traumatised me, and then I spent months reading Alex Rider fanfic and decided to write my own. and then posted it on Wattpad. It's actually pretty dark, and includes major character death, so I guess angst really has been my brand for almost a decade lmao.

Read at your own risk

What's your favourite fic you've ever written?

You can't make me CHOOSE!! I CANT

Ok but seriously.

I absolutely adore our eyes speak (but on our lips is silence), and Pink. They're just really fluffy happy pieces.

But another one I really really love and go back to read over and over is my one Musketeers fic/series Going Through the Motions (Technically 6 short fics on ao3 but it was supposed be a one shot I just started posting each section once a week so that I could force myself into finishing the damn thing). It's completely self indulgent because Constance was my favourite character in the show and I just wanted to explore what might have happened if very slight changes were made to canon events to affect the s1 finale.

Its very bittersweet but I have fond memories of working on it during my commute to university, just setting up my tablet on the tiny fold down tables and working on it for an hour every day lol. On ffnet that story has also had the NICEST reviews so it holds a very fond place in my heart and every so often I will go back to it just to read the ending because it just makes me feel all fuzzy inside

Ok I've rambled enough now. Thank you guys for tagging me, and I will now tag @hey-its-laura-again @theladyfae @rosekasa @queer-cosette and anyone else who wants to do it!

[the-lincyclopedia]

Fic writer questions I never get asked

Thanks for the tag, @khashanakalashtar! This is an interesting list! 

What date did you make your AO3 profile? What date did you post your first fic?

I joined AO3 on February 5, 2018. Seriously. I was FFN-only for so long. I posted my first fics on AO3 the day I joined. My first fics ever to hit the internet, however, were published on July 13, 2011, which is when I got my FFN account.

Do you cross-post your work?

Yeah, still. When I first got my AO3 account, I posted a bunch of things that were already on my FFN account, and these days I put basically everything on both. I like that FFN gives a pretty accurate and nearly complete timeline of my fanworks, which is the main reason I’m still posting there. Nothing I’ve posted there in the past three years has gotten much engagement, and I know the site is dying. 

What’s your fic with the most comment threads? The most bookmarks? Are the top 5 of those categories basically the same, and basically the same as the top 5 kudos?

Top 5 by comment threads: 

Face the Future with You (Check Please)

Man Oh Man, You’re My Best Friend (Check Please)

It’s Always You (Check Please)

Love in the Time of Influenza (Carry On)

I Love You, All Right? (Check Please)

Top 5 by bookmarks: 

Love in the Time of Influenza (Carry On)

The Aftermath of Angelic Assumptions (Good Omens)

Man Oh Man, You’re My Best Friend (Check Please)

Nightmares (Carry On)

Christmas Planning (Carry On)

Top 5 by kudos: 

Love in the Time of Influenza (Carry On)

Face the Future with You (Check Please)

Nightmares (Carry On)

The Aftermath of Angelic Assumptions (Good Omens)

Christmas Planning (Carry On)

So basically the Check Please fandom comments more and the Carry On fandom is more into bookmarks and kudos, and there’s more of a correlation between kudos and bookmarks than between either of those and comments. 

What’s the word count of your longest fic or series?

“The Jumper Chronicles,” my longest fic on FFN, is 111,223 words. I abandoned it in 2015 and I really would not recommend it. On AO3, my longest fic is “who could ask to be unbroken (or be brave again)” at 14,772 words. It’s part of my longest series on AO3: “Samwell Men’s Harmonies” at 29,921 words. 

What’s your most underrated fic?

MOST underrated? I have 132 fics on AO3, so there are a lot of potential answers. I guess I’ll pick my work with literally the fewest kudos: it’s a charming little rhyming poem about Harry Potter called “The Willow May Whomp You.” It has two kudos, fewer than 70 hits, no bookmarks, and no comments. I was so proud of it when I finished it, and AO3 really did not care. 

Does your early work contain any writing sins?

I had heard that not breaking up your dialogue was bad (which it’s not? Who told me this? Why did I believe them? Ugh), and I thought that adding adverbs to dialogue tags constituted breaking up your dialogue. So I had lots of unnecessary beats and adverbs and internal monologue mixed up in what otherwise might have been passable dialogue scenes. (I don’t remember whether this came up a ton in my fics and I don’t feel like looking, but I remember it pretty clearly in the original stuff I was working on back then.)

Have you ever had a work podficced?

Yes! I requested it for Fandom Trumps Hate, though, so I don’t know if it counts, exactly. It’s not like someone read my work and approached me about podding it. Anyway, my Yuri on Ice fic “When and If” has a podfic version. 

Have you posted any podfics? Fanvids? Fanart?

I was going to say no, and then I remembered that back in, like, 2009, I tried to make a couple Romione fanvids, one to Taylor Swift’s “You Belong with Me” and one to “I’m Not That Girl” from Wicked. Unfortunately for everyone involved, I didn’t have a clue how to pull bits of video from a movie (still don’t, actually), so they were basically slideshows. I’ve long since taken them down from YouTube and the computer I made them on has long since died, so I can’t prove any of this to you, but . . . uh, yeah. That happened. 

Are there any trends in your favorite ships?

I feel like there have been, like, eras of my shipping. When I first started shipping (i.e. before I realized I’m queer), it was basically “girl I can project on” shipped with “literally whoever her canon love interest is, regardless of anything about him” (Romione, Percabeth). Then it was “asshole guy” shipped with “other guy who interfaces between the asshole guy and the rest of the world” (Johnlock, Otayuri to a lesser extent). I feel like it’s becoming “broken person whose coping mechanism is meanness” shipped with “broken person whose coping mechanism is sunshine” (Zimbits, maybe Snowbaz). This is pretty similar to the asshole x interface-with-world, but the relationship is a little more mutual and balanced, and the mean one has a better excuse for being mean. 

Do you have fandoms you’ve written a lot for? Fandoms you’ve only written a one-off for?

Fandoms I’ve written a lot for: Check Please, Carry On, Harry Potter, Sherlock, Lizzie Bennet Diaries, and Yuri on Ice. (I’m defining “a lot” as at least five fics, and please note that I’ve got a 30k Lizzie Bennet Diaries fic that’s only on FFN because I really don’t like the ending.)

Fandoms I’ve only written one-offs for: Discworld, Turtles All the Way Down, Maleficent, the Chronicles of Narnia, Paper Towns, Six of Crows, Hoot, the Odyssey, Song of the Lioness, and Downton Abbey. (There are multiple other fandoms with two fics each.)

What fandom got you into fandom?

Harry Potter. I’d been writing next gen fics for like two years when a school acquaintance shared an FFN link to a Marauders fic on Google Buzz and I was hooked. 

Do you have a strategy for summaries?

I try to describe the premise/first part of the plot, and I add notes that might be relevant (i.e., major trigger warnings or other things that might put people off). I don’t use quotes, either from the story or from anywhere else. 

Do you use beta readers? For what? Do you have a go-to beta?

Occasionally for plot/general “is this good?” type feedback, or if they’re mandatory for an event, I guess. (I’m doing my first bang, so that’s a new thing for me.) I don’t feel the need to use a beta for spelling, grammar, or punctuation since I’m a semi-professional copyeditor. These days I do read most things to my QPP over the phone before publishing them. That’s usually more of a cheer-reading situation than a beta situation, though. 

I tag @doggernaut @carryonsimoncarryonbaz @birlcholtz @cricketnationrise and anyone else who wants to play!