#No fucking wonder why Carlos was desperate to remember him!

[wanderingandfound]

Episode 150 of Welcome to Night Vale is so good but for full impact you need to listen to everything that builds up to it, including that entire season, Huntokar's entire season, and the A Spy In The Desert liveshow.

[cult-of-the-eye]

Mag 81 A Guest for Mr Spider

FUCK FORMER HEAD ARCHIVIST

Wait I need to check the timelines - this was 2 days after leitner's death

New spooky music???

My man is so fucking dramatic I love him so much "grand of sand behind my eye" love the way he speaks

Yeah FUCK JURGEN LEITNER

Omg the greying hair is canon??

Child in the 90s makes him at most 27 GOD DAMN. I was imagining like mid 30s...can you imagine a fucking 27 yr old using words like "ilk" when talking to you

Oh shit he's an orphan poor guy

Yeah ok a lot of his personality seems to make sense if you realise he was raised by his grandma

You know those memes that are like people raised by their grandparents are exceptionally polite but in a brisk way, talk fancy and are super posh? Yeah that's him.

Getting such neurodivergent vibes

Yeah he sounds like a main character from the start Jesus Christ he's such a kid who got traumatised and then grows up to be a horror protagonist vibes

My First Leitner lol like kids had to be introduced to them at a young age like those my first toys

He's so funny I can just imagine him as an 8 yr old getting super like affronted at this like how dare my grandma think I am of subpar intelligence he's such a little bitch from the start

"The eponymous Mr spider" even talking about his childhood trauma he's busting out the vocabulary

Fuck that story actually kinda rattled me I had my hand over my mouth in shock for most of it

I think it was the bit where the horsefly brought his son and they were both crying that got me, I could definitely imagine it scaring an 8 yr old

The way it drags out as well, with the pages of the same scene it really heightens the suspense

Is his childhood bully someone we should keep track of?? Love how he says Michael probably cause he sees him as a bully lol

It's interesting how despite him bullying him (quite badly seeing as though he beat him up) he's still like yeah but he saved my life and that means he deserves to be remembered

My bro didn't save your life on purpose, he was just trying to make it worse and happened to come to a terrible fate cause of that

I guess underneath it all he was still a kid who watched someone die, knowing they'd get eaten by a fucking spider, he still held him in some regard

The way he specified the guy was his bully even after he was being eaten though lol

He was desperate to get the book back? That's a leitner thing I guess, the book makes you want to keep it so it can finish whatever it wanted to do to you

On my relisten (which I will do once I've finished the series I'm sure of it), I'll have to look out for any reaction of leitners name

I wonder why Jon didn't react more to Carlos vittery's statement, like it must've terrified him? I saw a post a while back explaining Jon's thoughts and IT WAS GENIUS it was like of course he doesn't react, he must be terrified that someone knew about his experience and somehow did this to mess with him or it was a joke and he can't let anyone know that the Head Archivist is not Good at This ugh it's so good I'll tag it if I can find it

AHHHHH HE REGRETS DISMISSING THE OTHER STATEMENTS AHHHHHH

HE FINALLY ADMITS THAT HE NEEDS HELP WE LOVE THIS CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT YES YOU FUCKING DO BITCH.

yeah at least he's right about Elias killing leitner

GEORGIE THE EX GIRLFIEND

ITS SO WEIRD TO SEE HIM ACTUALLY NICE TO SOMEONE WOW HIS VOICE CHANGES SLIGHTLY AS WELL HES LESS ACADEMIC

THE ADMIRAL

Awwww he's so cute with georgie

GHOST PODCAST GHOST PODCAST

THE WHAT THE GHOST T SHIRT IS CANON???? AHH THATS SO CUTE

Can he not go back to his own flat?? Did he bring all his clothes to the archive and then subsequently leave them there? Does he even have a flat??

God Georgie is so nice I would kill for her

It's so funny that an apparent supernatural cynic dated a ghost podcaster

WOW SEASON 3 OFF TO AN AMAZING START I CANT WAIT TO KEEP LISTENING IM GONNA TELL MY THERAPIST ABOUT THIS TOMORROW!!!

[chicgeekgirl89]

Chapter 3 Available Now!

Tagging: @lemonlyman-dotcom and @kiwichaeng

Carlos is an IDIOT. He’s never listening to his sisters again. He’s never texting again. He’s going to become a monk and live a life of solitude.

He stares at the photo on his screen that is decidedly not Deacon from the bar. Deacon’s eyes didn’t sparkle like that, his smile didn’t look like literal sunshine, and his hair definitely wasn’t perfectly tousled in a way that makes Carlos’ fingers itch to run through it. 

This guy looks vaguely familiar, but the name T.K. doesn’t ring a bell. Maybe he’s seen him at the grocery store? Or they go to the same coffee shop?

However he does or doesn’t know him, Carlos ha never felt more embarrassed in his entire life. His fingers fly as he types out an apology.

Carlos

[8:53pm] Oh my god. I’m so sorry.

Not Bar Guy

[8:53pm] No worries.

Did Deacon give him a fake number? Carlos gets up and searches his mail bin for the cocktail napkin he’d brought home from the bar. The number is still legible and Carlos’ eyes scan it quickly. 512…

Carlos checks the number he’d typed into his messages. 212.

Whoops.

How had that happened? Where the hell is the 212 area code even from? Definitely not Austin. Carlos sighs and shakes his head. Whatever. It’s done. He’ll just…text the right number and try again. 

Maybe. 

Or maybe not. 

He flops back onto his sofa, his head a little swimmy from the whiskey. What a fucking mess. He lets his eyes slide shut. Maybe he’ll just go to sleep and when he wakes up this will all have been an alcohol induced nightmare.

His phone buzzes and he reluctantly opens his eyes to find another text message.

Not Bar Guy

[9:02pm] I definitely would remember kissing someone like you. I hope Deacon appreciated it.

He jerks upright, his heart pounding. Is this guy, T.K., is he…flirting? 

Something about the words and the screen and the whiskey and the calming sound of British bakers in the background emboldens him and he types back.

Carlos

[9:03pm] I like to think he did. I’m a pretty good kisser.

Not Bar Guy

[9:04pm] I’m sure you are. Did he give as good as he got?

Carlos huffs out a breath of surprise, the pounding in his heart easing into a more relaxed sense of fun.

Carlos

[9:04pm] He was all right.

Not Bar Guy 

[9:05pm] Just all right? That was a pretty hot pic for just all right.

He flushes. Yes. Okay. He’d been trying to make a little bit of a point. And maybe it was a tiny bit desperate. But he doesn’t want this guy, T.K., to know that.

Before he can formulate a good response another text comes through.

Not Bar Guy

[9:06pm] Just saying, you look like you deserve a little more than that.

Carlos snorts as he types back.

Carlos

[9:06pm] You’ve decided that from one picture?

Not Bar Guy 

[9:06pm] What can I say? I call ‘em like I see ‘em. It’s a very convincing picture.

Carlos

[9:07pm] Thanks. Yours is pretty good too.

Not Bar Guy- T.K. 

[9:07pm] Just pretty good? Ouch.

Carlos

[9:07pm] Ah I knew I could see a sensitive ego in those green eyes. How would you like me to describe it?

Not Bar Guy- T.K. 

[9:08pm] Charming, captivating, endearing…

Carlos

[9:08pm] Pushy? Forward?

Not Bar Guy- T.K. 

[9:08pm] Forward? Says the guy who sent a thirst trap to a complete stranger…

Carlos

[9:09pm] I thought you were Deacon!

T.K. doesn’t respond for long enough that Carlos wonders if he’s finally gotten tired of the conversation. It’s crazy how disappointed that makes him. He’s just about to call it a night and go to bed when his phone lights up once more.

Not Bar Guy- T.K. 

[9:15pm] Sorry, call came in. Gotta go. This was fun though. We should do it again sometime.

A call? Carlos frowns and pulls T.K.’s picture up again, zooming in. He’d been so surprised and embarrassed he hadn’t even noticed the AFD logo on his shirt. This guy is local? Even though his number is clearly from somewhere else?

That’s probably why he looks vaguely familiar. They’ve likely been on some of the same calls. Big ones, obviously, otherwise he would have gotten a more decent look at the guy. There’s no way he would have forgotten those sea green eyes if they’d ever locked on his in person before. 

The whiskey is making him sleepy, pulling his eyes downward so he drags himself upstairs and readies for bed.

If T.K.’s picture is the last thing he looks at before he closes his eyes…well, that’s nobody’s business but his own.

Carlos arrives for his shift the next day in a good mood. A really good mood.

“Morning,” he says, setting a coffee from the place down the block on Lexi’s desk. 

“Morning,” she says, looking up in surprise. “What’s the occasion?”

“No occasion,” Carlos says, sitting down at his desk and booting up the desktop. 

She eyes him suspiciously. “You look perky. More perky than usual.”

Carlos shrugs. “I had dinner with my sisters last night. We had a good time.”

“Mmm….no,” Lexi says. “This isn’t sisters happy. This is something else.”

“Okay, well if you figure it out, let me know,” he tells her. He pulls up his email and then tries to keep his voice casual, as if he hasn’t been planning his next words since the moment he woke up. “Hey, you don’t happen to know a firefighter named T.K. do you?”

It’s the first time he’s said T.K.’s name out loud and it makes his heart flutter. The letters feel familiar in his mouth and send sparks through his stomach. It’s stupid, but this is the feeling he was trying to convey to his sisters last night. Which is dumb. Because he literally knows nothing about this guy.

“T.K.? As in Strand?” Lexi asks.

“Um, yeah?” Carlos hedges. How many T.K.’s can there be in the AFD?

“Isn’t that the firefighter that got shot a couple months ago?” she asks. “Out of the 126?”

Oh. Oh. 

That’s why he looked familiar. His picture had been on every news network, the talk of the department for over a week. Firefighter shot on duty. Crazy stuff.

“Right,” he says. “Now I remember.”

“I think his dad’s captain of that station,” Lexi says. “Why are you asking?”

“His name came up when I was out with a couple of the guys,” Carlos lies. “I couldn’t place him and thought you might remember.”

“That whole house was killed in that big explosion too, remember?”

“Right,” Carlos says, remembering it all too well. He knows people who’d gone to the scene that night and found total devastation. It was awful.

He waits for Lexi to go back to her work and then Carlos does something he promised himself he would never, ever do. He runs a background check for personal reasons.

T.K. stands for Tyler Kennedy. Carlos thinks of the picture he saved to his phone. T.K. is definitely a better fit. It’s fun and cute. Tyler Kennedy is…a little too stuffy for that rumpled hair and cheeky grin.

The shooting pops up obviously, but it’s not the only thing. Carlos clicks on a file from six months ago. T.K. was brought in for drunk and disorderly as well as assault and battery, but he blew a point zero and no charges were pressed. Huh. Interesting.

He clicks on the report of the shooting. It’s grim. Carlos feels sick as his eyes scan the words. Point blank range to the chest, a kid was involved…T.K. is damn lucky he survived.

He can’t stop thinking about it for the rest of the day. They head out on patrol and he can’t help secretly hoping they’ll get rolled to a fire call somewhere. Then he realizes how stupid that is. Fire is a twenty-four hour shift. If T.K. was on last night, he’s probably off the rest of today. 

Carlos hits the gym after work and then the grocery store. Usually cooking puts him in a good headspace, but tonight he’s a million miles away. He can’t stop thinking about their conversation. Or the shooting. Is T.K. okay? Does he have permanent damage? He’s obviously back at work since he went out on a call last night, so does that mean he’s okay now?

This is so stupid, he doesn’t even know the guy. He shouldn’t care this much. It’s just, the thought of that beautiful face no longer being in the world isn’t sitting well with him.

He settles into bed intent on reading, trying to take his mind off of things. But his eyes keep drifting to his phone. 

He should not do this. You don’t text random strangers out of the blue. That’s not normal. It’s not okay.

He picks up his phone and then almost drops it when it buzzes in his hand.

T.K.

[9:13pm] So. Did you get in touch with “Deacon”?

Carlos stares at his phone like it’s some kind of poisonous snake. Did he make this happen? What are the chances T.K. would text him at the exact moment he’d made up his mind to do the same?

Carlos

[9:14pm] What’s with the quotes?

T.K.

[9:14pm] I’m not convinced Deacon is a real person.

Carlos

[9:14pm] You think I kissed an imaginary man in a bar?

T.K.

[9:15pm] Alcohol can make you believe a lot of things…

Carlos

[9:15pm] I’d had one beer!

T.K.

[9:15pm] You’re avoiding the question.

Carlos

[9:16pm] I was at work all day today. There wasn’t time.

T.K.

[9:17pm] No time like the present. Do you want help? I’m very good with words.

Carlos snorts and types quickly.

Carlos

[9:17pm:] I’m not going to text him. That ship has sailed.

T.K.

[9:17pm] Good.

Carlos

[9:18pm] Good?

T.K.

[9:18pm] I feel a sense of responsibility now that I’ve seen your abs. Those deserve to be protected from the average Deacons of the world.

Okay this guy is straight up flirting. They’re about three texts away from a booty call. Which is not something Carlos does. But the shiver dancing up and down his spine whispers at him to make an exception. 

He decides to change the subject before he does something stupid. 

Carlos

[9:19pm] So you’re AFD?

T.K.

[9:20pm] Yep.

Carlos

[9:20pm] But you’re not from here.

T.K.

[9:21pm] Not even a little.

Over the next half hour Carlos learns that T.K. came with his dad from New York to rebuild the 126. And not just New York, but like New York, New York. The kind of New York that Carlos has only seen in movies and on TV.

Even through the phone Carlos can tell it wasn’t an easy move. T.K. seems to be glossing over the finer details, but he does talk about his dad’s cancer and how hard it was to leave his mom.

Carlos can’t even imagine uprooting his entire life to move to somewhere so different. His family is here. His entire life is here. 

Carlos

[9:47pm] That must have been really hard. To leave your whole life behind.

T.K.

9:48pm: I needed the change. My dad saw it. There was nothing left for me there. But yeah. It wasn’t easy. Why does everyone here smile all the time? What’s with all the friendliness?

Carlos

[9:50pm] Well you never know when you might need to borrow somebody’s tractor or an extra pair of hands for calving season. You have to be nice to your neighbors so they’ll return the favor.

T.K.

[9:51pm] Ah, see. I knew that niceness didn’t come honestly. It’s all a ruse.

Carlos

[9:51pm] You got us.

Carlos glances at the clock and sighs.

Carlos

[9:52pm] Hey sorry, I have an early shift again tomorrow. I should probably call it a night.

T.K.

[9:52pm] A shift? At the…hospital? Coal mine? Car wash?

Carlos

[9:52pm] Those might be easier. I’m APD.

T.K.

[9:53pm] Wow you really withheld the evidence on that one officer.

Carlos

[9:53pm] Well I can’t tell you everything all at once. Where’s the fun in that?

T.K.

[9:54pm] I look forward to continuing to play detective.

Carlos sets his phone down and heads into the bathroom to get ready for bed. He catches sight of himself in the mirror and pauses. He’s smiling. A lovesick, dreamy smile. The sight makes him laugh at himself. He’s an idiot. 

[morganaspendragonss]

the lovers that went wrong

after the incident at the market, tk finds comfort - and more than a little common sense - in a talk with his mom

or: if the show isn’t going to give us gwyneth and tk bonding, then by god i’m going to write it

ao3 | 1.4k | 2.04 spoilers

Maybe TK should feel guilty about how he acted at the market. He doubts he made a good impression on Carlos's parents, but he's not sure if that matters anymore. He just... He couldn't bring himself to pretend. He couldn't walk around acting like they were just friends - acting like he wasn't hurting.

So he'd lied and said he had to meet his dad, then left the market as quickly as possible, too late realising that he'd taken half of their groceries with him. Now he's standing on the curb, stupidly staring down at the bag and thinking about how he's ruined Carlos's plans for the night.

Well. Technically, they had been their plans, but while that's clearly not happening now, Carlos might still have wanted to go through with them. With his parents, maybe. He can't now that TK's absconded with half the ingredients. He ought to return them. 

(He won’t. He can’t.)

TK starts walking, speeding up until he’s almost running, desperate as he is to put as much distance as possible between him and the market (between him and carlos). He barely pays attention to other people on the street, probably earning himself several irritated looks, but he doesn’t care. The market isn’t too far from his dad’s place, and all TK needs right now is to shut himself away for a while, away from anyone’s prying eyes.

It’s not until he steps inside and is greeted by the sound of several voices coming from the patio that he remembers his dad had planned a gathering at the house. He freezes, wondering if it’s possible to sneak out again, which is (of course) exactly when his parents decide to round the corner, a confused frown appearing on both their faces.

“TK?” Owen says. “What are you doing back? I thought you were spending the day with Carlos.”

“I, um.” TK swallows roughly. “I was. We… Something came up. I forgot you were doing this. I’ll go.”

“No, hold on a second -”

“Really, Dad,” TK interrupts, holding a placating hand up. “It’s all good. Sorry to have interrupted.”

He doesn’t wait for his dad to respond, turning on his heel and going back outside. He manages two steps away from the house before stopping, realising that there’s nowhere else he really wants to be.

No. That’s a lie. But the one place he wants to be is the one place he absolutely cannot go.

TK slumps down on the porch, resting his head against the railings. How has he fucked this up so badly? He’d really thought they were doing well, but clearly something’s wrong - else why would Carlos have lied? He doesn’t understand, and a part of him doesn’t want to. TK’s not sure if he can take one more heartbreak.

The front door opens again, and when TK turns, his mom is standing there, arms folded. 

“All good, huh?” she asks, one eyebrow cocked, though her tone betrays her worry. TK turns away from her, hanging his head.

She sighs, then comes and sits next to him, one arm coming around his shoulders. “Wanna tell me what’s going on?” She pulls away slightly to look at him, and TK knows he’s not hiding anything. Even so, he waits a while before responding; he and his mom have never been ones for deep conversations. Usually, that’s his dad’s forte, but even then, he’s never felt entirely comfortable. 

“His parents don’t know about me,” he admits quietly, all the pain from the market rushing back. “We bumped into them earlier and Carlos… He told them I was his friend.”

“Oh, sweetheart.” She squeezes him gently, rubbing his shoulder and TK closes his eyes, leaning in to the gesture. “I’m sure there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation, though.”

TK nods, staring at the ground. “Yeah. Me. I’m not good enough for him.”

“TK -”

“No, Mom, I’m not,” he insists, pulling away from her. “I never was. You don’t know what a mess I was at the beginning - I put him through so much, and he still stayed even though I didn’t deserve it. I don’t deserve someone like him, and maybe he’s realising it. I’ve mucked it up again, just like last time.”

Tears burn the back of his eyes and TK lets them fall, past the point of caring what his mom must be thinking. “I thought things were finally going well for us,” he half-whispers. “Guess I was wrong.”

There’s a brief silence, then his mom sighs heavily. “Tyler Kennedy Strand,” she says, “that’s the biggest load of horseshit I’ve ever heard.”

TK looks up in surprise, meeting her unimpressed gaze. “What?”

She shakes her head. “You and your father. Peas in a pod, I swear. Can’t you see how much that boy cares for you?”

“I- I don’t -”

“TK, come on.” She gives him a small smile, patting his shoulder. “Any idiot can tell. You just… You need to give him time. You said it yourself, things were weird at the start, and you have only been dating for, what, four months?”

TK nods. “Officially, yeah.”

“There you go, then. That’s not a long time, TK; maybe he’s not ready yet.”

“But -”

“Have you even talked to Carlos about any of this?” She arches an eyebrow, giving him one of her lawyer looks.

He flushes as he shakes his head. “I sort of just...left.”

She looks at him in disbelief, then mutters something about him and his dad that TK doesn’t quite catch. Her expression, when she meets his eyes again, is one of fond exasperation. “You realise he’s probably just as upset about all of this as you are, don’t you?”

TK bites his lip. He hadn’t, in all honesty, though he feels guilty about it now. He’d been so caught up in his own feelings that he hadn’t stopped to think about Carlos - which really just amounts to yet another reason why TK isn’t even remotely good enough for him.

His mom sighs deeply. “You need to talk to him. Now.”

TK gives her a doubtful look, then pulls his phone out, only for her to smack his wrist. 

“In person, TK!” she exclaims. 

“I can’t go over!”

“Why not?”

“B-Because,” TK splutters, “what if his parents are there? I don’t want to put him in that position again.”

“Fair point,” she allows. She purses her lips, considering, then points to TK’s left. “What’s in the bag?”

TK looks down, surprised; he’d honestly forgotten about that. “Groceries,” he says. “We were planning a dinner for tonight.” Pain flashes through him again at the reminder of their plans, now completely in tatters. 

His mom, however, is smiling. “There’s your excuse. If his parents are there, you can say you were just dropping them off; if they’re not, you can get over yourself and talk to the boy.”

It makes sense, TK will give her that. But he can’t stop the doubt lingering at the back of his mind. “This is a terrible idea.”

“I’m your mother,” she says. “I have no bad ideas.”

TK laughs. He knows that she’s right, that he has to talk to Carlos, and he supposes that the sooner he gets it done, the better. Ripping the band-aid off, so to speak. 

“Thanks, Mom.” He smiles and she smiles back, stroking a hand through his hair. “Can you just do me a favour and not tell Dad? I don’t want to worry him.”

She frowns. “He’s going to ask.”

“Tell him anything,” he begs. “Just not this. Please?”

Gwyneth sighs, then nods reluctantly. “Alright. As long as you promise me one thing. However this turns out, even if the worst does happen, don’t let it destroy you. You’re a good man, TK, and you do deserve good things, even if you don’t believe it. Your dad and I will support you, whatever happens, and you have the rest of your team as well. Don’t bottle it up, okay?”

TK swallows, a lump suddenly in his throat. “Okay,” he manages.

She smiles and drops a kiss on the top of his head, standing up. “Now, go on. It’ll be fine, I’m sure of it.”

He nods, not trusting himself to speak. His mom goes back in the house and TK pulls out his phone again, ordering an Uber before he can convince himself that this is a mistake. It doesn’t arrive for another fifteen minutes, so he sneaks back inside (thankfully avoiding everyone this time around) and quickly changes, his mind racing too fast to be able to sit still outside.

He has to fix this. Or at least get answers. 

He’ll never forgive himself if he lets Carlos go.

[reyeslonestar]

I don’t want to run away anymore

Available on Ao3

Uhh hey so I wrote something? I’m as surprised as you are tbh.

Spoilers for the 2x04 promo, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending

1,376 words

It felt unbearably alien to knock on Carlos’ door instead of using his key, but nothing felt right to him right now, not since he’d suddenly become Carlos’ ‘friend’ in front of Carlos' parents with no warning and no obvious explanation. He supposed running away from the situation at the earliest opportunity probably didn’t make explanations very easy, but that was why he’d texted Carlos that they needed to talk. That was why he was here now. He needed to hear what Carlos was thinking, to know why they weren’t as in sync as he’d thought they’d been. The lock clicked in front of him, and TK watched as the door swung open to reveal Carlos’ drawn and anxious face.

“Hi,” he said, just as Carlos burst out with, “Are we breaking up?”

TK paused, stunned. “What? No, I-” he stopped again, “Unless, do you want to break up?” he asked, his heart seizing in his chest as he ducked his head to try and meet Carlos’ eyes that were firmly fixed on his feet.

“No, TK, I just- you said we needed to talk, and you knocked- I just thought-” he said, seemingly unable to finish any sentence he started as he shifted uncomfortably. TK breathed a tiny sigh of relief.

“Yeah, we need to talk, Carlos, you didn't tell your parents I was your boyfriend,” TK reminded him, moving past Carlos into the apartment and taking a seat on the stool by the couch. “I don’t think it's unreasonable to want to talk about that.”

“No, of course not,” Carlos said, closing the door with a quiet click and slowly turning to face him. TK could hardly bear to see him this cautious and uncertain, so accustomed to the confidence he always demonstrated, whether on the job or in the bedroom.

“Okay,” TK took a deep breath, “So talk to me, what’s going on? Why don't you want them to know me? Why-” His voice cracked slightly but he barrelled on, “Am I not good enough for them? For you?” He could feel tears starting to prick at his eyes but he willed them back, desperate to keep calm. This was too important for him to try and run away from. Carlos was too important.

“TK-” Carlos whispered, finally moving away from the door and towards where TK sat. “No, Ty, no, you’re amazing, I just-” he took a shuddering breath, chest heaving and TK caught his shaking hands in his own, gently drawing him down and closer to sit in the chair next to him.

“You’re amazing, Ty, and the past few months have been wonderful, but they’ve also been strange, you know that, right?” Carlos finally met his eyes and TK could see how they were filled with tears. “We didn't have the smoothest start, and I know, I know you were dealing with a lot,” he added quickly, seeing TK’s mouth open to interrupt. “I’m not trying to say anything by that, it’s not your fault, it’s just how it went, and now we’re- we’ve been doing great, right?”

TK nodded, stroking his thumbs over the backs of Carlos’ hands, absently wondering if it was to calm himself or Carlos. “But your parents- why can’t they know that?” he asked, hating how small his voice sounded.

“Ty, I didn’t know that you were ready for that.”

“I asked to meet them Carlos! And you avoided it, you just went to get more punch! I don’t- I don’t understand,” he burst out, genuinely confused, “why have you been avoiding this?”

“Because meeting my parents means a lot to them, TK, it’s not like me meeting your dad at work before I even met you. They don't meet our partners unless it’s serious; my eldest sister only brought hers home when they knew they wanted to get married.”

TK sat back a little, uncertainty washing over him. “Are we- are we not serious?” he asked, thinking back to what he’d said to Buck not so long ago. Thinking about the three little words that had been rattling around his heart for a little while now, waiting to slip out. Had he misjudged this again? Was he wrong about how Carlos felt? This had felt so different to how he’d felt with Alex, but was he still wrong? He let go of Carlos’ hands and drew them back around his own waist, wrapping himself up protectively. Carlos chased them, dropping to his knees in front of TK, shoulders stiff with tension despite the gentle grip he used on TK’s arms, eyes searching to meet his gaze.

“I’m sorry Ty, I didn’t want to scare you away; I wasn’t sure how you’d react. The last time I mentioned marriage to you, even as a joke, you couldn’t get out of here fast enough, and then when I first wanted to define us, you pushed me away. I wasn’t sure you were ready to talk about ‘serious’ and-” Carlos looked away as his breath hitched and TK watched as he sucked in a shallow breath, “I was scared, because I didn't want to lose you. I didn’t want to go too fast for you again and fuck this up beyond repair. I can’t lose you.”

Carlos fell silent and suddenly all the tension seemed to drain out of him as he rocked back to sit on his ankles. TK opened his mouth to reply, to deny it, to say of course he wouldn’t lose him, but then he closed it again. Carlos was right, he’d been inconsistent to say the least when they’d first got together and despite everything they’d been through in the last few months, they’d never really talked about how ‘serious’ they were, instead just riding the honeymoon wave. TK remembered Carlos’ comment from his dad’s party when they’d talked about his parents’ honeymoon period, ‘Those can last a while’.

“Hey Carlos,” he whispered, unravelling his arms and gently cupping Carlos’ jaw, brushing away the tears that were running down his cheeks as his beautiful eyes searched TK’s face. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you so unsure. I guess- I guess I had thought to myself that we were serious and never thought to ask you if you agreed.” He tried to smile at Carlos, feeling his earlier tears return at the sight of the worry and fear on his face, “I’m here to stay, if you’ll have me because-'' he choked slightly, throat closing with nerves, but relaxed as he felt the gentle touch of hands on his jaw, “I love you, Carlos.” He watched Carlos gasp as he said it, eyes widening in shock and then amazement.

“Tyler,” Carlos whispered, his voice shaking with awe.

TK fought through the nerves knotting in his throat to say it again, “I love you, and I don’t want to run away anymore, I want to stay right here with you.”

“Oh Tyler,” Carlos said again, a smile growing on his face. “I love you too.”

“Yeah?” TK couldn’t help but ask, the nerves slowly dissolving to give way to a giddiness that made him sway slightly.

“Yeah,” Carlos said, repeating “I love you,” before drawing him closer to press a soft kiss to his lips, resting their foreheads together as they drew apart.

“I’m sorry I hurt you,” Carlos said quietly, “I wasn’t sure and I fucked up.”

“It’s okay,” TK told him, “I understand now, and I’m sorry I made you feel that way.”

“It’s okay,” Carlos echoed, a tiny smirk on his face, “I understand now.” TK laughed slightly, more a huff of air, and pressed back in for a deeper kiss, pushing himself closer against Carlos’ body, relishing the security of his strength and warmth.

“So, does this mean I get to meet your parents properly?” he asked as Carlos trailed kisses along his jaw. Groaning slightly at the interruption, Carlos pulled back to look him in the eyes and laughed quietly.

“I’ll ring them tomorrow, see if they’d like to have dinner.” he said, his thumb gently stroking TK’s cheekbone. “Is that okay?”

“That sounds wonderful,” TK smiled, leaning back in.

“Good,” Carlos replied as he met his kiss. “Hey Ty?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

[bluenet13]

Fix You

Loving Carlos is now TK's drug of choice, but after pushing his boyfriend away his cravings threaten to take away his sobriety. Meanwhile Carlos struggles after the fight, not knowing what he could have done differently or how to move forward. Both boys lost in their own insecurities and heartbreaks until they manage to find their way back to each other.

Or three missing scenes from 2x12: TK before he ends up at Owen's house, Carlos after he leaves the firehouse, and Tarlos in the aftermath of the fire.

Links: ff.net - AO3

TK rubbed both hands against his pant legs as he stumbled down the darkened alley. Breath drawing small, foggy circles in the air as it came faster than usual, colliding with the cold night air and evaporating just as quickly as the man's brisk pace blew the condensation away.

Reaching the end of the street, TK drew the hood of his sweater even lower onto his eyes, and looked both ways. There weren't many cars on this road so late at night, but there were many streetlights that proved to be a bigger threat. But TK had done this before, not in Austin, but in New York. And if TK had managed to avoid the lights, street cameras, and prying eyes of a city that never sleeps, he could surely do it in a town that only had one star to offer. Austin was a small town after all. But it never hurt to be careful, especially when one Strand was already in jail.

A crash sounded from a nearby dumpster and TK jumped. Turning around he half expected to find Carlos following him, but the street was completely deserted. He was half disappointed.

Closing his eyes and releasing a long breath, TK steeled his nerves and resumed his journey. Fingers now tapped impatiently against his thumb in a continuous, alternating pattern. Index. Middle. Ring. Pinky. A desperate cycle that circled as much as his thoughts. Carlos' confession. Hard words. A push. A hug, or more like a hold. The order of events replayed on his mind following the rhythmic movement of his fingers. A vicious obsession that had him stuck in reverse. Mind stuck on that damn moment in the apparatus bay, failing to catch up with the speed of his steps.

Reaching his destination, TK took a moment to try to convince himself to turn around. But the pain was too raw. And he was tired of fighting his own mind. Loving Carlos was his drug of choice now and with that gone his cravings had only intensified.

He had tried to sleep it off. Had stood alone in the balcony of the fire station as his team left after their shift was over. All six of his teammates stealing quick, worried glances his way, but in the end, they had all left. Not because they didn't care, they had all tried to get him to talk, but there was only one person he wanted to talk to and he had fucked it all up. His friends had said that Carlos would understand, to go knock on his door and make it right. TK had promised he would. But instead he had stayed rooted in place as he regretted all his life choices.

Just yesterday he could have said all his mistakes had led him to Austin and one Carlos Reyes. But today TK didn't have that luxury anymore. Today all his mistakes had left him with nothing. So TK had shook his head, and exited the firehouse with the desire to just sink into oblivion. He had gotten in his car and driven to an empty parking lot in between Carlos' condo, their condo, and Owen's apartment. And he had really tried to sleep it off. Tears clouding his eyes as he rested his head on his folded arms on top of the steering wheel. Sleep hadn't come. So TK had exited the car, locked the door, and turned around.

He had walked for miles and now he found himself here. Tears then sprang to his eyes again as Owen's voice asked 'why?' and Carlos' gruff tone begged him to 'listen to me and calm down'. Just like he had whispered close to his ear on so many nights alone in their bedroom when TK's past seemed to overwhelm him and his cravings became too much to handle on his own. But his dad and boyfriend weren't here, and those voices were nothing but echoes of conversations long past. Now TK was alone, just like he had been that fateful night back in New York.

Wiping the tears angrily from his eyes, TK took a decisive step forward and never looked back. Drawing some bills from his pocket as he had done so many times before, he did the quick exchange and walked away. The bag threatened to burn a whole on his hand so TK threw it in his pocket and walked faster. Where? He didn't know. He had nowhere to go now.

When he felt comfortable with the distance between his score and his current location, TK slowed down and finally came to a stop. Sitting down on the steps of some abandoned house, TK reached inside his pocket and pulled out his fix. Then he carefully unzipped the small bag and dropped two pills on his palm. So small, and seemingly inoffensive, but nobody knew their destructive potential more than TK. They wrecked lives, relationships and people. But TK didn't feel like he had anything to lose anymore.

Closing his eyes, he moved his hand towards his mouth but stopped just a few inches away. We make a pretty good team. We really do, don't we? Afraid so. The words echoed in his mind, and seemingly a thousand memories flashed in front of his eyes, from that first accident scene in a cold and rainy Austin night, to Carlos' retreating form after TK lashed out at him just hours before.

Tears now streamed freely down his face and TK blinked a few times, willing them to stop. But in the darkness of his mind, he only saw light. And Carlos' cow eyes looking back at him. They really wrecked people and suddenly TK's tears were no longer just that, but full-blown, body shaking sobs as all his pain, worry, regrets, guilt and desperation came pouring out of him.

And before TK knew what was happening he was standing up, fist shaking at his hide, and pills still held tightly on his palm. Without thinking TK let out a guttural cry and threw the pills as far away from himself as he could, the motion ending with his fist connecting harshly against the wall. Pain ricocheted all around his body, but TK felt alive and more clear-headed than before. So he let himself slide down the wall, and just cried. Knees drawn tightly against his chest, head resting on top of his folded arms.

In the last months, Carlos had managed to turn the gray of his life into a rainbow, and now he just had to cross it. So rubbing his bruised knuckles, TK let the lights guide him home. He wasn't ready to see Carlos just yet, and he thought maybe the other man wasn't ready either, or he would have come looking for him, so TK got up from the dirty street, walked back to his car and drove to Owen's house instead. The darkened alley stayed behind, as this night became no more than just some wasted dollar bills. TK would gladly part with those, but he was stronger now, they were stronger now, and he wasn't ready to part with his sobriety just yet. And he would never be ready to part with Carlos, so tomorrow he would make it right, but today he would just go to Owen's house. And if luck happened to be on his side tonight, maybe Mateo would be home so he wouldn't need to be alone. He really didn't want to be alone.

-x-x-x-

Carlos' walk from the firehouse back to his car was the longest of his life. He had made that same walk more than a hundred times but today it felt like someone had stretched the building because this was talking too long. With every step, he thought of turning back around. But TK had been clear, and if that hadn't been enough Judd had added all the certainty he needed. So, Carlos went against his heart, and continued to walk forward.

Reaching his squad car, Carlos felt like he could finally breathe again. But even then, he still wanted to walk back into the building. Because Carlos would rather choke and even relinquish his breath if it meant that he could hold TK in his arms again. But this wasn't about what he wanted, but what TK needed, and right now, TK didn't need him.

So Carlos opened the door and climbed in, relieved that Mitchell had allowed him the courtesy of doing this alone, but still blowing up his phone with questions. He would speak to her later, but right now Carlos just wanted to curl up in a ball and let go. But he wouldn't do that now, not here.

Reaching the parking lot of the grocery store he shopped at with TK, Carlos drove to the back and parked away from the many trucks lining the street. And then he allowed himself to break down. Tears streamed down his face, and he tried to blink them away, but quickly they turned into sobs, and his body was shaking and he was powerless to stop it all. And the only man that could, had just literally pushed him away not an hour ago.

Drawing a hand over his shoulder and chest, Carlos remembered TK's anger, how his body had vibrated with the emotional pressure that bounced around him in search of an outlet. How he had become that outlet. And it hurt, not in the physical sense, because he knew TK hadn't meant to hurt him, but just wanted to run away like he so often did when he was overwhelmed. But TK's shove had seemingly bypassed skin and gone right for his heart, and that pain was harder to fathom or forget.

The brief conversation played over and over again in his mind, and Carlos wondered what he could have done differently to avoid that outcome. But it would have always been Carlos and TK, with their pasts, presents, and futures, in a baggage, in their minds, and in their hearts, so the outcome would have always been the same. It was a fact, but it didn't make the reality of it hurt any less.

When Carlos' tears finally ran out, his heartbreak had seemed to go with it, and now he was angry. At Owen, at Gabriel, at TK, at himself. He was just angry with the universe and the unfairness of it all, so he lashed out, hitting his steering wheel one, two, three times, until his knuckles began to hurt. But the pain seemed to anchor him and pull him back from the edge.

Carlos could still feel TK's hands on him, not loving and exploring, but hurt and angry, and the sensation threatened to break his heart in two. He knew TK was a physical guy, he just never expected to be on the receiving end of that with anything but love, comfort and affection. But that's just who TK was and Carlos loved every part of him. In their time together, Carlos had learned that TK craved what was tangible, probably because so much of his past had been spent floating in the clouds. That meant that sometimes TK sought reassuring touches: fingers intertwined, a shoulder squeeze, a hand over a knee. Other times he got physical in bed, or the couch, the shower, or the floor and every time Carlos reciprocated with a smile. But on fewer occasions, when TK's upset with himself or the world, and his restless energy couldn't be released by a caring touch, his self-destructive tendencies won and he craved other types of physicality. He hit the punching bag, he punched two Texans at a bar, and this time, he shoved Carlos against a firetruck... Carlos understood, but it still hurt.

That second to last thought made Carlos stop dead in his tracks, as he thought back to one of their first meetings. When TK had been cuffed, bruised and beaten, sitting on his desk at the station after just being arrested after a bar fight. TK had said he wanted to feel something, and for Carlos now it was the opposite. He wanted to feel nothing at all. But he knew you couldn't choose either way, that's not how life worked. But did TK?

Panic rose in his chest as he remembered the rest of that conversation, and TK's confession, and for a moment Carlos willed his frantic thoughts to stop. He grabbed his phone and searched his contacts, see you tonight, babe, I love you. TK's last text message mocking him with a promise that wouldn't happen now.

Carlos' finger hovered over TK's name for a few minutes, more than a few times coming almost close enough to connect the call, but in the end, Carlos just set his phone back down and closed his eyes. The fear was still there, an all encompassing terror that mocked him with TK's words from that day, with substances.

But Carlos pushed it all down. The pain, the heartbreak, the guilt, but above all, the instinctual need to play hero, to be a savior, and TK's knight in shining armor. Today was not the time for that. Not out of anger, because God knows he could never be angry at TK, but just because as much as he wanted to fix things, he knew this day wasn't his to fix. At least not until tomorrow.

TK needed space, and if he was honest with himself, he did too. Talking now could lead to another fight and heated words, and he wasn't sure they could come back from two of those on the same day. At least not unscathed and without hearts seriously bruised. And Carlos really wanted to avoid that if at all possible.

So even if it hurt, he would let TK be, and hope for the best. If the worst happened, Carlos would be there to pick up the pieces. But TK had a team now, and he was currently surrounded by them. But more importantly, Carlos simply had faith in TK, in the strength of his character and all the love in his heart he had to give.

Today Carlos would lick his wounds and patch up his heart, but tomorrow he would fix this. Because as much as he might want to deny it, a fixer is what he was. And he would always be ready to fix TK, so he continued to avoid his next fix. Even though Carlos loved the whole of him, cracks in the armor, baggage on his back, and doubts on his heart; but he knew TK wanted to be better and continue turning his life around and who was he to deny the love of his life anything. But until then, Carlos would finish his shift, go home and release his stress in the kitchen. Maybe cook something and have it ready for whenever TK returned home.

-x-x-x-

"TK… how are you doing?" Carlos asked, drawing his oxygen mask down.

"I'm fine," TK instinctively replied, voice raspy after all the smoke they had inhaled during the fire, "and push that over your face." Turning sideways, TK pulled the mask back over his boyfriend's face. One of his own secured around his face. And an extra large blanket spread over both of their bodies as they laid together on a bed in their hospital room.

After the fire was put off, and everyone had calmed down, TK and Carlos had wanted nothing more than to go home together and curl up in bed, but they no longer had a home to go to, so when their fathers and friends had insisted on getting checked out at the hospital they had easily agreed. Their families and friends had been with them for a while but had eventually left knowing the boys needed time to themselves. And now here they were.

"Really?" Carlos pressed, brow quirked upward.

"I am," TK said, surprisingly managing to sound confident even in the midst of being the victims of a serial arsonist and almost losing their lives.

"How?" Carlos wondered. He was usually the calm and collected one, but right now he felt the world spinning out of its axis.

"I still have you," TK said simply, running his fingers through Carlos' curls. His boyfriend unconsciously leaned into his touch, making TK smile.

"Yeah," Carlos breathed out. "But we have nothing else."

"Carlos, with you, I always feel like I have the world. So much that I often feel like I don't deserve this much… or you." TK's eyes darkened as he remembered the previous night and how close he had come to losing his sobriety, but he pushed the memory away. Carlos had enough to deal with right now, but TK promised to himself to tell him later, because once they had become an official couple, they had promised to never hide anything from each other, and a fire might burn down their house, but it didn't touch their promises. "Losing the condo hurts, a lot. But, as long as we have each other, I think we will be okay. At least I know I will, and I hope you will too."

Carlos turned to TK and hated the brief uncertainty that he saw in his eyes, so he lowered his mask again, then followed suit with TK's, and turned sideways. TK met him in the middle and they shared a kiss. It tasted of smoke and ash but Carlos and TK pressed forward and deepened it. Showing destiny that together they would always be stronger than any force that tried to destroy them. Stronger than the fire that had burned down their physical home. They were earth, steady and each other's rock and grounding presence. Water, drowning in each other's depth and flowing into each other until they became the perfect team. And free like air, ready to be the wind behind their sails, and always each other's breath of fresh air.

"I love you," Carlos said when air became a necessity, which happened more quickly than it usually did, given they had already been deprived of oxygen enough for one night.

TK said nothing to that, just pulled Carlos to him and kissed him again. Because they had also been deprived of each other, and right now they'd both rather share their oxygen and give in to that stronger desire. And proving Carlos' thoughts from the previous day right, TK quickly got physical, hands roaming over Carlos' body, as he tried to touch every part of him. But this time, Carlos knew TK wasn't looking for a repeat of what had happened earlier that day in what used to be their bedroom. Tonight, TK's hands only sought reassurance. And Carlos had the same necessity, so he let his arms move freely too. Each touch letting the other know that they were truly okay, they had survived, and that's all that mattered in this moment. All the rest could be dealt with at a later time.

"I love you, too," TK said eventually, when oxygen was running low again, a barely suppressed cough making Carlos' brows furrow in concern. "And I'm sorry you lost your apartment. I know how much that place meant to you."

"Our apartment, TK. Our," Carlos said softly, "maybe once we find a new place and start over again, you will finally start calling it our." A breathy laugh escaped his lips, but it never reached his eyes. "And it did mean a lot to me, but not nearly as much as the man I shared it with. Last year that condo was just a house, babe. Only after you came around did it become a home."

"You're my home too, Carlos," TK croaked, moving his finger over Carlos' face trying to get rid of some soot that still clung to his boyfriend's skin. "And I'm so happy you're okay. For a moment there, I also didn't think we were gonna make it out." Suddenly, TK's expression changed as he stared as his darkened finger and his eyes clouded with tears. "Oh God, I could have really lost you tonight." In that moment, the dam finally broke and all of his emotions came cascading down, his breath turning into small wheezes as TK finally let his guard down. He had been strong for the two of them during the fire, letting his firefighter instinct kick in as they fought to stay alive and then stood outside the charred structure that had been their house. But now the reality of everything was catching up to him and TK could do nothing but break down.

"Hey, come here," Carlos whispered, turning all the way to the side and pulling TK into his chest, his arms going protectively around him. "Baby, you're okay, we're okay. Breathe TK, it's okay, we're okay," he whimpered, tears streaming down his face now too.

For the next few minutes the only sounds in the room were the noise of the medical equipment, the barely suppressed sniffs and coughs that managed to escape the two men, and the many whispered promises only for each other to hear.

"Are we going to be okay?" TK asked eventually, voice muffled by Carlos' shirt.

Drawing back, Carlos looked at TK and tried to read his boyfriend. Trying to keep a calm appearance even as his heart threatened to beat out of his chest. "What do you mean?"

"You and me, Carlos. Can we get past this?"

"Do you want to?"

"Of course!"

"Then we will," Carlos said with full certainty. "Where there's a will there's a way. Especially for two people that make such a good team."

"Okay," TK said simply. "Tomorrow we can get an Airbnb, or go to one of the six houses offered to us, and start looking for a new place. We will both be out of work for at least a week or two, so we have time to start the process at least."

"Yeah." Carlos smiled, glad to set their sights into the future and not on what had been lost today. "And you know what's the first thing we're getting for our new bedroom?"

TK looked up and scrunched his nose as he thought about it deeply. "A bed? Although we are pretty good on the floor too. As long as the room's carpeted," he offered, a proud, little teasing smile on his face.

"You're adorable when you're trying to be flirty," Carlos let out with a chuckle. "But no. A fire extinguisher for the bedroom."

And TK could only grin at that. Carlos joining him soon after. Their relieved laughter echoing in the room as their eyes started fluttering closed.

"Carlos?"

"TK?"

"I'm sorry. For fighting you, and pushing you. I should have never done that. Sometimes I still revert to old habits, but I know that's no excuse. And I'm very sorry."

"We said-"

"I know what we said, Carlos."

"TK we almost died today. The fight, it doesn't matter, and we agreed-"

"Babe, I know, I know, but just listen to me. The fact something worse happened, doesn't mean what I did was right. You are always there for me, and you didn't deserve to be treated that way," TK said sincerely, looking up into Carlos' eyes and moving a shaky hand to wipe some stray tears from his cheeks. "Besides, if you can apologize a hundred times for the fire extinguisher, I can apologize for something that really needs forgiving. I love you, Carlos."  TK also wanted to say that in hindsight, a fire extinguisher would have achieved nothing in that fire, but he let Carlos have that small, manageable thing to focus on, instead of the ruin that had become their home.

"I love you, too TK," Carlos breathed out, "and I forgive you, but there's one thing you can do to make it up to me."

"Anything."

"My turn." Carlos turned himself over on the bed, so his back was to TK and sighed deeply as soon as TK hugged him close to his chest. "Thank you." He grabbed his boyfriend's hand in his and intertwined their fingers, but quickly frowned at what he saw there. "What happened to your hand?"

"I could ask the same thing about yours, babe," TK said knowingly, "we can exchange stories tomorrow. There's a lot we still have to talk about. But now, sleep. We have work to do tomorrow, and a home to start rebuilding."

"Okay," Carlos agreed easily, knowing there were still some talks they needed to have, with each other, but also their dads. Because TK might have been the one that pushed Carlos, but Owen and Gabriel had pushed them both into that situation. But that could all wait until tomorrow. "Good night, TK."

"Sleep well, Carlos."

TK's existence had been gray before Carlos, and Carlos' life had just been black and white. But, tonight, even in the midst of the fire that destroyed their physical home, their lives were full of color. Because all that had been lost could be fixed, and that only meant there was something still worth fighting for. And they still had their families, their friends, and each other, and that was the only home that truly mattered, and that if lost, could never be replaced. Everything else would just fall back into place, as inevitable as TK and Carlos falling for each other.

So, content in each other's arms, and just happy to be alive, Carlos and TK finally drifted off to sleep. Oxygen masks discarded to the side, blanket halfway to the floor. Knuckles, hearts and egos bruised. But a smile on their faces. Because for as long as they were a team they knew they could do anything. And they were lucky, because The Reyes and Strand families truly made a pretty good team.

[marjansmarwani]

I’m sorry enough

[Read on Ao3]

Carlos can tell that TK is pulling away, he just can't figure out why. He follows his partner's advice and forces them to talk it out, but they both say things they regret and act on the anger and fear they both have. When the dust settles he's left wondering how they can put the pieces of them back together, or if they even can.

--

Day 6: “You deserve better” + Angst

Day 6 of @tarlosweek2020 and we are almost at the end! I’m excited about this one, but I am really excited about tomorrow. If you’ve been reading my stuff for a while, you might recognize it because it is a continuation of one of my older stories. Either way, I hope you enjoy it and this one! 

-----

The last of the victims had been loaded into the ambulance and the last of the statements had been taken when Carlos crossed the barricaded area to where TK stood, repacking the equipment used to free the woman who had been trapped in her car. He approached with a smile, and leaned against the side of the rig, “Hey you.”

 TK looked up and gave him a quick smile that was gone almost as soon as it had appeared, “hey.” 

 Carlos felt that little bit of dread in his chest start growing. He pushed it aside and refreshed his smile, making it bulletproof: “Are you free for dinner tonight? I feel like it’s been ages since we actually got to talk.”

 “I don’t know, I told my dad I’d help him with some stuff.” 

 “Please?” Carlos pressed, leaning closer, “You’ve been so busy lately I’ve hardly seen you. I miss your face.” 

 TK glanced at him and gave another small smile, this one so much more genuine than the one before. “Okay,” he agreed softly, “I’ll see you tonight.” 

 Carlos grinned and pushed off the side of the rig, planting a quick kiss on TK’s cheek as he passed him, “Come by my place at 8,” he instructed. Then, with a wave towards the rest of the crew he was off, heading back to Mya and their cruiser. He pulled open the passenger door and climbed in, ignoring her pointed look. When his partner made no move to turn on the car or look away, he turned to her with an exasperated expression. 

 “What?” 

 “You know what.”’ 

 “I do not know what.”

 “No,” she pressed,”you do.” 

 She kept looking at him until he groaned and turned in his seat to face her, “just say what you need to say so we can get out of here.” 

 “Something’s wrong - or at least, you think it is.” 

 “Nothing’s wrong,” he replied hastily, “we just haven’t seen a lot of each other lately, he’s been so busy and I miss him. What,” he added defensively, “am I not allowed to miss my boyfriend?” 

 She didn’t look convinced, but clearly knew him well enough to know that she wasn’t going to get anymore. With a resigned sigh, she started the car. Carlos was about to breathe a sigh of relief when she spoke again, “Whatever you think is wrong, you need to talk to him about. Waiting and assuming the worst isn’t going to solve anything.” 

 Carlos turned to look out the window, hiding his expression from his partner. “I know,” he said softly. There was quiet for another moment before Mya put the car in drive and they pulled away from the accident scene. 

--------- 

It was 8:01 and Carlos wasn’t pacing, really. It was probably nothing. It could be traffic, he could’ve lost track of time; it didn’t mean anything. 

 Try as he might he couldn't stop his mind from adding it to the growing list of evidence. All the evidence added up to the same thing and it was something that Carlos didn’t want to consider, not even for a moment. Not to mention the fact that it didn’t make any sense - there was no reason; at least not one Carlos could think of. 

 He needed TK to get here; he needed to know. 

 At 8:03, there was a knock on the door. Carlos pulled it open (with what he prayed was the appropriate level of eagerness) to reveal TK on the doorstep. He stepped aside with a smile to allow TK entrance. He did, stepping around Carlos, pausing only to give him a quick kiss. Once he was in Carlos shut the door and turned to look at TK. TK shifted uncomfortably, “What are you looking at?”

 “You,” Carlos answered honestly. “It’s been so long since we’ve actually had time to be together for more than a few minutes I had almost forgotten what you looked like.” 

 TK smiled and again Carlos couldn’t help but notice it didn’t go all the way to his eyes. The feeling of dread started to creep into his mind again, and he knew Mya was right. He had to say something. He couldn’t live with this doubt. 

 He waited until they were settled at the table, bowls of chili and a plate of cornbread before them. He waited until the lingering tension, the feeling of foreignness began to fade. Then, he took a deep breath and asked the question that had been nagging him for weeks: “Have you been avoiding me?” 

 TK starts, nearly dropping his spoon back into his bowl. He looks up at Carlos quickly, very much like a deer caught in the headlights. That was answer enough. Carlos swallowed before asking the important part: “Why?”

 TK was quiet for a few moments, studying his soup before he spoke again: “I was hoping that if I wasn’t around so much you might realize on your own.” 

 Carlos furrowed his brow as he gazed at TK, “Realize what?”

 “That you deserve better.” 

 The answering silence stretched as Carlos stared at TK, unsure of what to say, of what had just been said. A choked, “What?” is the only response he could muster. 

 “I was trying to back off, letting things end slowly when you finally realized that you deserve a whole lot better than me.”  

 Hearing it a second time didn’t make it make any more sense. Carlos stared at TK, who was resolutely anywhere but at Carlos. As the words sank in, a wave of anger that surprised him took over. 

 “Don’t I get a say in this? Or are you just going to make decisions for both of us without asking for my input?” 

 TK shrugged, “Why bother? It’s only a matter of time before you figure out what everybody else already knows.” 

 Carlos was fuming now. “So you think that you just get to make this decision unilaterally?” 

 “Simpled like the simplest, most painless way.” 

 “Too bad for you, I don’t agree.” 

 “And why is that Carlos?” TK asked, voice acidic, “you’re not done with your ‘saving the lost puppy’ story arc?”

 “No, because I love you and I think that at least entitles me to get some say in this! It is my life too, after all.”

 At his words, TK softens a bit. His voice is still firm though when he speaks again, “It’s for the best Carlos, for both of us.”

 Carlos is fuming. He can feel the blood rushing to his head; the pressure building inside his skull. “I’m so glad you’ve decided that, but you're wrong,” he spits out. TK tries to interrupt but Carlos barrels on: “Don’t I deserve the right to make my own choices?”

 TK is silent. They lock eyes and Carlos can see his answer there. He gets up from the table abruptly, “Fuck you. I deserve to decide what is good for me, not you.” 

 The kitchen is practically ringing with TK’s shocked silence. Carlos doesn’t lose his temper - Carlos never swears - not like that. 

 They stare at each other for a few more long moments. Vaguely Carlos notes that TK’s look is full of regret, shock, and something else that he can’t quite put his finger on. Not with his pulse pounding in his veins like this. 

 He needs to go; he can’t be here right now. He can’t look at him - he needs to be anywhere else but here. 

 Without a word he crosses the kitchen to the front door which he wrenches open, slamming it shut behind him. 

-------------- 

He walks. 

 He doesn’t know where; he is pretty sure he doesn’t have a specific destination in mind. He just needed to get away, get some air, take a breath. 

 He can’t remember the last time he had felt this much anger before. He thinks that the answer might be never. 

 He does know the last time he loved someone this much though - that answer is never too. 

 To have that just ended for no good reason, under the guise of it being all “for his own good”... didn’t sit well with him. As he walks he racks his mind, searching desperately for any time, any moment where he may have indicated that he didn’t love TK completely; any moment where he said that he loved TK with anything less than his whole heart. 

 He couldn’t think of any. 

 As he walks, his temper cools. He is able to think more coherently, to reflect. He’s still not sure exactly how they got here and as he walks, he begins to pull the pieces together in his mind. TK being distant, TK keeping himself at arm’s length. TK never saying anything, TK pulling away. That emotion that Carlos had seen clouding TK’s gaze more and more often that he had never fully been able to categorize. It was nothing he had ever seen before, not coming from TK. 

 He vaguely wonders how far he’s walked. He is looking around, trying to get his bearing when the realization finally hits him. He’s finally able to put a name to what he saw in TK’s eyes, in his expression that he hadn’t been able to put a name to. 

 It was fear. 

 Here he froze, coming to a halt as the horror of that realization washed over him. 

 TK was afraid. He was scared, and he was trying to protect himself. All the talks they had when they first got together; all the things TK admitted to him once he managed to convince him to open up came back to him. All the things TK had been through; all the struggles he still had. 

 He was scared. 

 And Carlos had been an ass. 

 He ran a hand down his face and sank down onto the curb. He should have known, should have been able to read the signs. He had been so blindsided, so angered at the idea that TK had been willing to throw them away that he hadn’t stopped to consider the why. Now that he had, he realized just how awful he had been; just how awful this was. 

 He hadn’t been fair in this. He had been scared (scared of losing this, scared of the end of something he thought might just last forever) and he had lashed out. Here they were - two people, terrified of being hurt; terrified of losing the people they loved - or terrified of being left. 

 What a pair they made. 

 He rested his elbows on his knees and put his weary face into his hands. This was a mess. From start to finish, it had been a disaster. From day one he had promised TK that he understood. He had encouraged him to open up; had encouraged him to share his thoughts and fears, his insecurities. 

 And then he had forgotten about them. 

 He had promised to be patient, to be there. Instead he had lashed out, and then left. He had even slammed the door behind him, he realized with a wince. He had made a fine mess of this. He would have to do a lot of work to salvage this (if there was anything left to be salvaged). They both would. 

 But even here; alone and worn, seated on the edge of a curb at god knows what time of night, Carlos had hope. He believed in this thing they had, and he was pretty sure TK did too. They would have to talk this out - there were many rational conversations to be had. But Carlos was ready to do the work, if TK was. 

 Then, he would be sure to make sure TK never said anything so foolish ever again. He deserved better - yeah right, Carlos scoffed to himself. He didn’t think it got a whole lot better than TK Strand. 

 He took a deep breath and pulled himself to his feet. He needed to get back - they had some work to do. He wasn’t letting this go without a fight. 

-------------

When Carlos opened his front door, he had been ready to enact part one of his action plan. Part one involved tracking down one errant boyfriend so they could have a talk. But when he turned the corner to his living room, he froze and a smile spread across his face. Step one may not be so crucial afterall, he noted. 

 He took another step forward, quietly so as not to wake TK, who was curled up on the corner of his couch and sleeping. Carlos allowed himself to take a breath - if TK was here, it meant that he didn’t want out quite as much as he had made it seem earlier. He walked closer, and sank onto the couch slowly, trying his best to avoid making unnecessary noise. 

 He didn’t want to wake TK, who found sleep so elusive that any sleep anywhere was precious. He leaned back onto the couch cushions and sighed wearily, studying the other man. His expression was furrowed even in sleep; tension was rolling off of him like waves. Carlos shifted again, trying to find a comfortable position and despite his best efforts, TK’s eyes shot open. He looked around for the source of the noise, and relaxed when he saw Carlos. 

 They looked at each other in the dim light leaking through the gap in the curtains from the streetlight out front. Their gazes conveyed a hundred things they both wanted to say, but it was TK who spoke first: “I’m sorry,” he said quietly, voice rough with sleep. 

 Carlos nodded, “I know. I’m sorry too.” 

 “I love you.” 

 “I know that too.” 

 It was quiet again; the only sound the distant chiming of a church bell marking the hour. It tolled twice and Carlos glanced at his watch in surprise. He had no idea it had gotten so late. He had no idea he had been gone that long. Suddenly TK’s fitful sleep and uncomfortable position made much more sense and Carlos felt guilt flaring up. He had been gone for hours, TK had to have been worried and not willing to leave until he knew Carlos was back home safe. He sighed and stood up, offering a hand to TK. 

 “Come on,” he said softly, “neither of us are going to get any real sleep on this couch.” 

TK looked from his outstretched hand to his face with a doubtful expression. Carlos leaned forward, taking one of TK’s hands in his own, “I’m serious, let’s go to bed.” 

 This talk could wait until tomorrow, he thought. They deserved some sleep. 

 TK nodded and allowed himself to be pulled upright and then led into the bedroom. He collapsed onto the bed and Carlos laid next to him. There was silence again and Carlos spoke, not even sure if TK was still awake enough to hear him. 

 “I love you too.” 

 “I know,” came TK’s response, soft but sure. 

 Carlos smiled to himself and rolled over so he was facing TK. He wrapped his arms around the other man and pulled him closer, breathing in his familiar scent. Yes, there would need to be discussions tomorrow, but for tonight those words would be enough. 

 Then, with the warm weight of the person he loved most in his arms, he drifted off into a peaceful sleep. 

[Ao3]

[spaceskam]

for @alexmanesairstream ❤️️

“Well, well, well, little brother, long time, no see.”

“Shut up,” Alex laughed, letting Greg pull him into a hug. He was easily the only tolerable one in the family, but even that had taken awhile. Greg was 20 before they were on good terms, but, now that they were, Alex refused to let go of it.

“What brings you around here?” Greg asked as he let him go.

“I had a few questions involving Manes history,” Alex said, gesturing towards the aliens and Maria that lingered a few feet away, “So did they.”

Realization clicked in Greg’s eyes and his lips pressed to a line for a moment as he nodded. However, as soon as it came, it went and he flashed as smile as he looked Alex over again. He was clearly looking for something, anything, to talk about that wasn’t heavy bullshit. It was so distinctly Greg that Alex couldn’t even complain.

“Wait, what happened to the ring?” he asked, grabbing Alex’s left hand. He rolled his eyes and pulled it away.

“There was never any ring.”

“Well, what happened? I thought you liked that guy. What was his name? Carlos? Kevin? Jason?”

“Michael?” Isobel pitched in, her playful grin obvious in her tone. It was just as obvious as the daggers Michael was shooting towards anyone and everyone.

“No, no, not that one. The real relationship,” Greg said. Alex tried not to smile, shaking his head slightly at his brother. He knew exactly what he was doing. 

“Okay, well, you just named three of the guys I hooked up with who were also in the Air Force,” Alex said, deciding to play along by offering a little bit of honesty, “But you’re thinking of Kaliko.”

“Ah, right! The painter.”

“No, that was Khalil,” Alex explained, “Kaliko was the dancer.”

“Right, right, he was the one who was, like, obsessed with you,” Greg laughed, looking to the group, “The guy performed an entire interpretive dance that was about how great Alex was and then choreographed one and taught it to his students. They legit had a recital that was just based on Alex being addictive.”

“I can see it,” Isobel laughed, the only one who had anything to say. When Alex looked back at them, Maria seemed to be clutching Michael tighter despite the fact Michael seemed to be personally wronged by this revelation. Max just seemed uncomfortable. 

“Yeah, it was awesome, what happened? Why’d you break up?” Greg prodded, still dragging things on to make Michael squirm. Alex just gave a little shrug.

“He wasn’t a big fan of how many times I kept getting myself in sketchy situations,” Alex shrugged, “Turns out he liked the concept of a war hero, not really all the fun stuff that goes into becoming one.”

“Oh, so you mean guys aren’t into self-sacrificing assholes? Wow, who knew,” Greg scoffed. Alex laughed, shoving his shoulder and getting shoved right back. 

“Look, I came here to talk to about serious shit, not my love life.”

“Yeah, because your love life is nonexistent,” Isobel said playfully. Alex scoffed, but couldn’t help but smile. His accidental friendship with Isobel was easily the best thing he’d found in awhile. It was all the fun of Kyle, but without the ex-homophobic guilt.

“I don’t believe that,” Greg said, “My little brother gets around. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him not have someone at his beck and call since high school.”

“Well, either Alex is hiding something or he’s finally run dry.” Alex just flashed her a guilty little smile. “Well, fuck, who is he?”

“It’s still too new to go parading him around,” Alex laughed, shaking his head as he thought of Forrest and how they were still navigating the logistics of everything, “But... yeah, no, I’m definitely not lonely at night.”

“Hell yeah,” Greg laughed, “You can say a lot of things about Manes Men, but you can’t say they aren’t charming.”

Alex’s eyes drifted easily to Michael, wondering if he cared. Was it bad if he wanted him to? Was it bad if he reveled in the way Michael locked eyes with him, seeming desperate to say it wasn’t so? Alex just smiled ruefully right back, eyes flickering to where Maria was suctioned to his side as if to say he had no right to be hurt. He wasn’t keeping it to himself, so neither was Alex.

“Right, well, ask what you need to ask, little brother,” Greg said, pulling his attention away from Michael.

And, damn, didn’t that feel great.

It wasn’t until a few hours later when they sort of dispersed that Michael pulled him off to the side. Alex tried not to show his excitement. He felt childish and petty, but Michael was jealous and Alex earned that.

“You’re seeing someone?” Michael asked. Alex cocked his head to the side.

“So are you.”

“Yeah, but not really. We aren’t, like, a thing,” he said, eyebrows all furrowed with pent up stress. Alex smiled.

“Well, Forrest and I aren’t really a thing either,” Alex said. Michael’s shoulders dropped.

“Forrest? As in Forrest Long? As in Nazi Guy?” Michael asked. Alex nodded.

“Turns out, he has a particular interest in queer history which just so happens to delve a little into WWII,” Alex said. Michael swallowed visibly, staring at Alex like he didn’t quite get it.

“And those other guys your brother was talking about...”

“Don’t act like you didn’t hook up with people while I was away,” Alex told him. Michael huffed a laugh.

“I mean, I did, but I never... I never had a relationship. You’re the closest thing that I’ve ever had to a real relationship,” Michael told him. Alex didn’t really know how to feel. Should he feel good that he was Michael’s only attempt or feel bad that he’d left him behind? He chose to feel good. 

“Look, why are you telling me all this? Trying to make me feel bad? You’re the one who said no to me over and over, remember?” Alex pointed out. Michael stared at him for a moment, so still that Alex was convinced he’d stopped breathing. 

“That’s not fair, Alex.”

“What’s not fair? Months of putting myself out there while you chose someone else? Yeah, that isn’t fair. To me.”

Michael groaned, rubbing the heels of his hands against his eyes. Alex watched and waited for him to have a valid opinion. Then his back hit the wall as Michael pressed him against it.

“What are you doing?” Alex asked, confusion filling his system. He expected a few different reactions. This wasn’t one of them.

“Showing you I’m better than them.”

Alex raised an eyebrow. “Oh yeah? How would your girlfriend feel about that?”

“Not my girlfriend,” Michael huffed, “And he’s not your boyfriend.”

“No. He’s not.”

Michael’s nose brushed his as he moved in, breath hot and face determined. Alex wasn’t quite sure how to feel, but decided that he wouldn’t take it too seriously. This could just be fun. And he would treat it like it was nothing, like it was just fun, because that seemed to make Michael want to work for it.

And that was a win for Alex’s ego.

“Show me what you got.”

[bellakitse]

Let's Start with Breakfast

“Hi, you must be TK,” he says, turning around to face him fully, and TK doesn’t know where to look – that beautiful face with a head full of curls he wants to sink his hands into, or the perfectly chiseled chest that reminds TK of studying about Michelangelo’s David in his art studies course. “I’m Carlos.”

*

TK wakes up in his friend's apartment and meets his new roommate, Carlos.

30 days of Tarlos - Day 8

TK wakes up with a serious crick in his neck and a post-it note on his forehead. The pain he understands, that’s what he gets for sleeping on his friend Paul’s couch instead of just going back to his apartment the night before. The note is the same friend being a jerk. He sits up with a groan; it’s not just his neck that hurts but his back too from the less than comfortable couch. Pulling the note off his forehead, he squints at Paul’s chicken scratch.

Had to go to class, mopey, there are coffee and bagels in the kitchen. Stay as long as you want, but don’t bother my new roommate.

TK rolls his eyes at the nickname his friend has given him. Last night while he and Paul were out, they’d run into his ex with the guy he’d cheated on him with; if that wasn’t a reason to be a little depressed, TK didn’t know what was.

TK gets up, heading for the bathroom first. He steps lightly, trying not to wake up Paul’s new mysterious roommate. From what Paul told him, the guy is in the Police Academy and keeps odd hours. He only moved into Paul’s spare bedroom three weeks ago and TK – while nursing a broken heart for almost two months now since he caught his ex in the arms of another man – hasn’t had a chance to meet the guy yet.

He takes his time washing his face, brushing his teeth with one of the spare toothbrushes Paul likes to keep under the sink. When he’s done, he exits the bathroom and heads for the kitchen, stopping short when he hears a sound coming from inside. He hesitates for a moment, he’s probably not at his best to meet Paul’s roommate, but he can already smell the coffee he’s brewing, and TK desperately needs a cup.

Running a hand through his hair and then down his shirt in hopes to smooth some of the wrinkles, he takes a breath before stepping into the small cream-colored kitchen.

The man inside the kitchen is tall, muscled and shirtless, TK takes in all the beautiful exposed skin as he looks at the back facing him. He has defined shoulders and arms; his back tapers down in a V-shape to a spectacular ass, clothed in black slim-fitted joggers that makes TK drool. He doesn’t consider himself a shallow guy, but TK knows a beautiful man when he sees one, and even with just having seen his back, TK knows Paul’s roommate is gorgeous, something his friend failed to mention when telling him about the guy.

“Um – “ he starts hesitantly. “Good morning?”

The guy turns around, the half-smile on his face makes TK’s breath halt in his lungs. If TK thought the guy was beautiful from behind, it’s nothing compared to seeing his face. He’s stunning with deep brown eyes that look warm, a full-mouth that curves upward a little more, friendly and inviting, and a jawline that could cut glass.

“Hi, you must be TK,” he says, turning around to face him fully, and TK doesn’t know where to look – that beautiful face with a head full of curls he wants to sink his hands into, or the perfectly chiseled chest that reminds TK of studying about Michelangelo’s David in his art studies course. “I’m Carlos.”

“Hi,” he says again, and not much else, his mouth has gone dry, and he feels tongue-tied. He’s never had such an immediate reaction to someone like this before, and he feels a little lost as his heart races and his palms sweat.

“Would you like some coffee?” Carlos asks him, that pleasant smile still on his face. TK tells himself to snap out of it before Carlos goes from friendly to uncomfortable, just because he’s having a hard time handling the effect Carlos is having on him.

“Yes, please,” he says, taking a step forward when Carlos holds out a cup for him. “Thanks,” he smiles, taking the mug, his fingers brushing against Carlos’. He’s sure he just imagines the spark of electricity that runs between them, but then he sees the way Carlos’ eyes widen, his gaze on their hands and wonders.

“Yeah – “ Carlos says softly, his brown eyes finding his. “No problem.”

TK gives him a closed-mouth smile, not sure what to say with the sudden tension in the room. It’s not awkward; it’s more like awareness of the other.

“Do you feel like breakfast?” Carlos asks, waving his hand at the stove where he has a skillet ready to go. “I could make you an omelet. Do you like veggie?”

“Oh – ” TK starts, shaking his head. “I don’t want you to go to any trouble; I should probably get out of your hair and out of your apartment.”

“It’s no trouble,” Carlos answers quickly. “I was going to make one for myself anyway; it’s pretty easy to add a couple of extra eggs.”

TK hesitates, and Carlos gives him a captivating smile that gives TK butterflies like he hasn’t felt since he was fourteen and kissed his first boy.

“I’m a really good cook,” Carlos promises, his grin boyish and sweet, it makes TK smile back.

“Better than Paul?” he teases, chuckling when Carlos scoffs.

“Strickland wishes he could be as amazing in the kitchen as I am,” Carlos boasts, and TK raises his eyebrow at that.

“Paul is a great cook,” he says, doubtful of the man in front of him and his culinary prowess, when he’s tasted his friend’s cooking.

“I’m better,” Carlos assures him once more with a smirk, a little cocky and maybe even a little flirty.

TK grins, charmed by Carlos’ confidence. “Well, then I guess I have to stick around and have some of this spectacular cooking.”

Carlos grins at him pleased, he turns towards the refrigerator, pulling out the ingredients he needs to get started. TK leans back against one of the counters, sipping his coffee as Carlos moves around the kitchen with ease, just like Paul usually does. He presumes it comes with the sureness of someone who knows what they’re doing.

TK can barely boil water; he tells Carlos this, earning himself a laugh.

“I’m sure you’re not that bad,” he says, throwing him an amused look over his shoulder.

“Oh, I am,” TK says with a self-deprecating laugh of his own. “My father is a fire captain; he has made me swear not to cook without a fire extinguisher and adult supervision.

Carlos laughs again as he pours the egg mixture on the hot skillet, he turns back to TK, leaning against the opposite side counter with his arms crossed. TK swallows hard at the way it makes his arms bulge.

“How are you, by the way?” he asks gently, and TK pulls his gaze from the pretty muscles to look up at his even prettier face full of concern, it lets TK instantly know that his buddy Paul has been talking about him with his roommate.

“I take it, you know?” he asks, the sheepish look on Carlos’ face confirmation enough.

“Paul wasn’t gossiping,” Carlos says softly. “I asked about you, and he told me you were going through a bad break-up.”

“Why did you ask him about me?” he asks, not upset but curious, especially when Carlos’ cheeks go pink.

“I – uh,” he starts, letting out a self-conscious laugh. “I saw you a few weeks ago at the coffee shop on Elm with Paul; you were wearing a yellow hoodie.”

“And that’s why you asked about me?” he asks again a little confused, his heart though ticks upward when Carlos gives him a penetrating look.

“I asked about you because you’re beautiful,” he says softly. “In that hoodie, you were the most adorable thing I have ever seen, and I wanted to know you.”

TK’s breath catches at Carlos’ candidness.

He turns back to the omelet, flipping it over once. “But Paul told me you had just broken up with your boyfriend,” he says, looking at him with sympathy. “And that it wasn’t pretty, so I didn’t push for an introduction.”

He watches as Carlos moves around, getting out some pre-cut fruit from the fridge, placing it on the two plates with the eggs and a piece of toast. Holding both plates, he points towards the living room. TK follows him back to the couch he slept on, speaking once they’re both seated with their food.

“I walked in on him with another guy,” he says quietly, looking down at the nice plate of food, it looks and smells really good, he only looks up at Carlos when he hears him swear.

“He’s a fucking idiot, TK,” Carlos says sternly. “I don’t even know him, and yet I know he’s the stupidest fucker on the planet to have you and then cheat.”

TK’s lips quirk upward at the conviction in Carlos’ voice. “Agreed.”

Carlos’ eyes crinkle at the sides as he smiles. Smiling back, TK shakes his head softly before taking a bite of the omelet, he lets out a surprised sound at the burst of flavor, and looks back at Carlos only to find him already watching him.

“You still doubted my skills,” Carlos says with mock-sorrow. “Shameful.”

TK swallows around the delicious breakfast to let out a laugh; he can’t remember the last time he had this much fun over breakfast and a simple conversation.

“I promise never to doubt you again,” he swears, pleased when Carlos gives him a grin.

They eat the rest of their breakfast while getting to know each other. Carlos tells him about the police academy. TK tells him about his classes, and how he really wants to be a firefighter like his father, but promised he would get a degree before starting his training. When they’re done with their plates, Carlos takes them back into the kitchen while TK waits on the couch. He comes back after a bit, and TK has to swallow a disappointed sigh when he sees that Carlos has put on a shirt along the way back.

He watches him as he shifts for a moment, and TK starts to get up, realizing that he’s probably worn out his welcome, and it’s time to leave his friend’s apartment and his roommate’s kindness.

“So I should probably – “

“Do you want to hang out?” Carlos blurts out in a rush. “We could watch a movie?”

TK startles back while Carlos looks at him almost timid.

“I know you’re probably not ready to date or anything,” he continues quickly. “And that’s cool with me, but maybe we can get to know each other?”

“Carlos – “ he says softly, his heart squeezing with affection for the sweet man in front of him. He’s beautiful, but TK is quickly realizing that it’s not just outside beauty that Carlos possesses.

“I like you,” Carlos tells him, taking a step forward until he’s standing in front of him. “There is something about you that pulls me in, and it’s not just those beautiful green eyes of yours,” he smiles at him, and TK can’t help but smile back, his heart beating with excitement. “Though they are very pretty, TK.”

“Yours are pretty stunning too,” he whispers back, swallowing hard when Carlos touches his hand, he turns it to take Carlos’, interlocking their fingers.

“I want to know you,” Carlos continues, giving his fingers a gentle squeeze. “I’m not saying I want to be a rebound, though there is the old Spanish saying un clavo saca otro clavo.”

TK gives him a curious look, not understanding the phrase.

“One nail drives out another nail,” Carlos explains. “Basically that the best way to get over a bad break-up is to find a new partner, but like I said I’m not interested in rebounding – “

TK lifts his other hand to touch Carlos’ cheek. “Carlos, I just met you, and I know you definitely wouldn’t be a rebound,” he tells him. The way he has reacted to Carlos all morning tells him that if he got together with him, he wouldn’t need to use him to soothe the ache inside, Carlos would eclipse any past and remaining feelings he might have for his EX. “You’d be so much more.”

Carlos lets out a soft exhale at his words. “So what do you say?” he asks, his face hopeful. “Movie? Get to know each other?”

TK smiles at him, his heart pounding hard under his ribcage with anticipation.

“A date when you’re ready?” he continues, a teasing smile on his face. “Maybe even a kiss at the end of the night if I’m really, really lucky?”

TK lets out a laugh, feeling happy in a way he hasn't for the longest. On impulse, he leans up, covering the small difference in their heights to brush his lips against Carlos in the lightest of kisses.

“I’d like that,” he whispers, proud of the stunned look on Carlos’ face. “Movies, getting to know each other, dating, more kisses, I’d like all of it.”

[nico-di-genova]

It’s a Date

Prompt (from @sun-ni-day): Missing scene of Carlos asking TK out.

       Maybe it was the beer, or Michelle’s goading, or Carlos’ apparent lack of self-preservation skills. Whatever the reason, he’s here now, staring down the end of his phone, finger hovering over the call button like it’s the trigger of his gun. He’s got just enough sense left to hesitate, hear the logical side of himself that says TK’s already turned him down once. The only thing he knew about the man was his name, and even that had been discovered through his own snooping. but then the alcohol wins out, and he presses his thumb to the screen without thinking any further.

       The phone rings.

       And rings.

       And rings, until Carlos is pretty sure it’s about to go straight to voicemail. He hadn’t even prepared for what he was going to say, and now he had to fit it into roughly a minute of awkward one sided conversation. He should hang up, he almost does, until the phone clicks and there’s a staticky sound that tells him someone’s on the other end.

       “Hello?” TK’s voice is groggy when he finally speaks, laced with annoyance. Carlos hadn’t taken a second to consider the time before he’d jumped the gun, and now here he was, already starting this thing off on the wrong foot.

       “Um. Hi.”

       “Carlos, wha-? It’s two in the morning,” there’s rustling on the other end of the line, the sound of the man beginning to move around. He can almost see it. TK, shirtless, sitting up in his bed with his hair all mused, looking confused, and wondering why he’s just been pulled from his peaceful slumber. It was an image he hadn’t thought too much about before but would most definitely be revisiting later.  

       “Yeah, sorry,” Carlos apologized, running a hand along the back of his neck, “I just-. I had-. I’m drunk.”

       It had been a stressful day, and he hadn’t thought much about the three beers he’d drank in rapid succession an hour ago, but they were definitely catching up with him now. Maybe, just maybe, he shouldn’t have listened to Michelle.

       TK laughed, the same kind of breathy thing he’d exhaled against Carlos’ lips many times now, the sound alone was enough to alert something within him. It spoke to kisses stolen after being slammed up against walls, hands pulling at clothes, the desperate way TK would clutch at his biceps until Carlos finally gave him what he wanted. He hates that TK’s laugh is enough to have him wanting for more. Hates that the man has already managed to leave this much of an impression.

       “Wow. Officer Reyes, how very unprofessional of you,” he practically purrs, and Carlos is going to lose it. TK is a brat, a jerk. He’s too much of a flirt for his own good and Carlos so very desperately wants to see him again.

       “You’re an asshole,” he says, ignoring the smirk that pulls at his lips. He will not be impressed at TK’s boldness, not now anyway. He has a mission, one made under the influence of too many beers, but a mission, nonetheless.

       TK sighs, more rustling coming in from the background, “Yeah, that seems to be the consensus. So… why are you calling me? If you need a drinking buddy I don’t think I’m going to be much help.”

       Right. Carlos hadn’t forgotten their conversation at the station, it’d been playing in his head on a constant loop. TK was an addict, recovering anyway, who’d just gotten completely screwed up by a relationship gone bad. He couldn’t help but think that whoever let TK go must have been blind, because the man was easily the prettiest thing he’d ever laid his eyes on. Sure, maybe he was being a little superficial, basing everything off of TK’s looks. But it was hard to judge him on anything else when TK has given him so very little. This call is his attempt to remedy that, to extend an olive branch that the man will hopefully accept. He wants to put that disaster of a dinner behind them, maybe take a step toward getting to know TK on his own terms.

       “No, it’s definitely not that,” he says, tone turning serious for a moment, “and I’m sorry, again, for the champagne, and the dinner. It was stupid.”

       “It’s fine. You didn’t know. I should’ve said something, but I got so-. Anyway, we’re cool.”

       There’s an awkward silence as they both try to find a way to redirect the conversation. Carlos isn’t a complete idiot; he knows this is a touchy subject for TK. Hell, if the roles were reversed he wouldn’t want to talk about it either. He’s glad though, that he knows, only because it will help him understand TK better in the long run. He’s hurt, healing, and his behavior is so much easier to understand now that he knows where it stems from. He doesn’t know everything, not yet, but it’s enough.

       Carlos shifts around on the couch, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees, eyes falling to the coffee table. The beer bottles and take out from he and Michelle were still littered there. A week ago he’d hit his back against the edge of the thing when TK had rolled them off the couch and onto the floor. It had hurt like a bitch, just enough to be an annoyance.

       “Can I ask you something?” he says, when the silence has dragged out for far too long, and he’s getting worried that TK might hang up on him.

       The man makes a noise, a hum of agreement, “sure.” He sounds tired, probably because he’d spent most of the night before in the drunk tank of the police station and people didn’t tend to get much sleep there.

       “What are you doing Friday?”

       No use beating around the bush. If he didn’t ask now he was going to get cold feet, get too in his head about the whole thing. He wasn’t the best at handling rejection, it tended to make him feel a little self-conscious. But TK had flipped about the dinner because it had been unexpected, he’d hadn’t had a chance to prepare for it. Maybe, if Carlos asked him out officially, gave him enough of a heads up, it might help to ease his nerves.

       There was hesitation on the end of the line, movement, the sound of TK’s breath coming through tinny and off.

       Finally, he inhaled slowly and said, “I have a shift in the morning.”

       “And at night?”

       “I usually go to the bar with the team.”

       Usually being the operative word here. Carlos was drunk enough that he could feel hopeful. The way TK had looked at him today, an openness that hadn’t been there before, it was enough to fuel his confidence.

       “Would you…maybe want to go with me instead?”

       He wasn’t suggesting anything too crazy. From what he’d gathered, TK liked to stick to his comfort zone. He was new to town, didn’t know very many hang out spots. He tended to go wherever his dad led him. Since arriving in Austin he’d gravitated toward the fire station, his house, and the bar, with the occasional stop at Carlos’ place. He was banking on that familiarity. Introducing TK to someplace new probably wouldn’t work, so he’d hang out with him in the one place he knew TK didn’t mind being anyway.

       There was another long stretch of silence as TK considered Carlos’ words. He waited, tapping his foot anxiously. He wasn’t usually such a high strung person, not where boys were concerned. Dating had never really been his thing, but something about TK… Something about him was different, and he was hellbent on finding out what that thing was.

       Finally, after what feels like years, TK responds, “I don’t know. Are you asking me out?”

       “I’m asking you to hang out. Play darts, throw back some mineral water, dance,” and here’s where he lays on the suggestive nature, knowing they’d both become proficient at the flirting thing, “you seemed to be pretty good at that last time.”

       That first night they’d met, after the whole saving the baby from the tree thing, at the bar, he hadn’t really expected the man to take charge of the situation so quickly. He still remembered TK climbing into his truck before he left, stradling Carlos’ lap and kissing him until they both had to pull apart to breathe. TK had held his interest from the moment he’d met him. He was like a tornado, blowing into Carlos’ life and upending everything in the process. Carlos wanted to keep getting destroyed by him, sucked into his mess, because something about TK was so intoxicatingly good. Even with all bad parts, the stuff he tried to hide away, Carlos wanted it all. He’d never felt this way about anyone before. It scared him as much as it probably did TK, but he couldn’t seem to get a hold on his emotions.

       TK spoke, soft and hesitant, “okay. Yeah.”

       He’s sure the surprise in his voice is evident when he replies, “yeah?”

       “Sure, you’re paying for my drinks though,” and there’s that hint of a smile in his voice.

       Carlos grins right back, “okay.”  

       “Can I go to bed now?” TK asked, yawning just to emphasize his point.

       Carlos nodded, before remembering that the man couldn’t see him, “yeah, sorry. See you Friday.”

       TK must already be pulling the phone away from his ear when he answers, because Carlos almost misses the quiet, “it’s a date,” right before he hangs up.

       A date. And fuck it if he sounds like some giddy high schooler, he’s going on a date with TK Strand. There was no way he was going to mess this one up.  

[oopshidaisyy]

August Fic Recs

a love song for schrödinger by patho With his own two eyes Carlos has observed a house that empirically doesn’t exist. He’s never seen a quantum particle, but his computer models and lab readouts reassure him of their presence. Cecil – lovely and wonderful and strange Cecil – is comforting and solid in every way…except in Carlos’ peripheral vision, when his edges waver as though the lack of direct observation has left him unsure of what shape he should be. It means absolutely nothing, to see a thing in Night Vale. Carlos/Cecil, 2k, T Note: achingly lovely

Easy Open by Helenish “So you and Hunt are a package deal these days,” Bryson says. “Uh,” Benji says, jerking his head up from his computer, ballpoint in his mouth. Benji/Ethan, 6k, M Note: i read this at least once a month and it’s just,, so wonderful

Four-Letter Words by idiopathicsmile  Prompt: "humiliation kink by way of compliment, Aziraphale gets Crowley hot and bothered by accusing him of goodness." Aziraphale/Crowley, 3k, M Note: i still remember getting the email notification for this one and being like “exactly what i want?? from one of my favourite writers??? what a concept”

and if sun comes by susiecarter Post-JL: Steppenwolf isn't interested in accepting defeat and walking away. Superman's proven that he's the key to conquering Earth, and Steppenwolf returns with a plan for how to deal with him. A plan that Bruce is able to throw a wrench into—but not without certain unintended consequences. Clark/Bruce, 30k, E Note: it’s involuntary soul-bonding and it’s so good it makes me want to cry

Richie Tozier: The Manchild Tour by hellotailor The Manchild Grows Up: An interview with comedian Richie Tozier, November 2019. “Everyone in this industry either has a pill habit, or they can’t hold a relationship together for more than two months," Tozier explains. "Or they spend 16 hours a day arguing with people on Twitter. Best case scenario is you find a way to be reasonably well-adjusted about your desperate need for strangers to laugh at you.” Richie/Eddie, 3k, T

In This Cold Heart by pineapplecrushface The future Richie sees while he's caught in the deadlights gives him a chance to save Eddie. In the year afterward, they both try to follow Stan's advice. Richie/Eddie, 16k, E

want to feel something again (won’t you help me) by susiecarter Damn, this chick just won't give up. Harley/Diana, 6k, M Note: this pairing seems like it shouldn’t work but then it just...does?? and it’s incredible?? and somehow everything i needed???

come into my parlour by arriviste  After the revolution failed, Grantaire became Enjolras's keeper. Enjolras/Grantaire, 8k, T

a tree that has not blossomed (yet) by susiecarter An accident involving a Kryptonian device meddled with by Lex Luthor sends Bruce forward, into a future that must not—cannot—be his own. Because sure, Clark's joined the Justice League. Clark's willing to work with Bruce to save the world. Clark's even forgiven him for what he once tried to do. But that doesn't mean they're going to—that doesn't make it plausible that they'd ever be—that they would get married. Clark/Bruce, 8k, T

there was no sacred place by firstaudrina It's in the moment between wishing and knowing that Lestat realizes the approaching figure is Louis. Lestat/Louis, 1k, Not Rated

afterparty (aftermath) by thingswithwings Tony's kissing everyone tonight, or at least everyone who'll let him. Bruce/Tony (+ with a little Tony/everyone), <1k, T

talk to me by theappleppielifestyle “I was offering to talk dirty to you so you’d stop thinking I was such a stick in the mud.” Tony considers. Steve’s from the 40s, he assumes dirty talk back then wasn’t as graphic as it is today. “Go ahead.” Steve cocks his head at him, lets his gaze linger on Tony’s mouth and the exposed collarbone before saying, “Sometimes when you’re doing tune-ups on your armour I think about stripping you out of it and fucking you against the desk in your workshop until you scream for me.” "Holy god," Tony hears himself say, and Steve grins before continuing. Steve/Tony, 1k, E

Convenient Husbands by Annie D "It's only temporary, right?" Dean says. "Just until you're healed up, and then we'll never have to see each other again. So what do you say, Castiel, do you want to marry me or not?" Dean/Cas, 39k, E

The Missionary Position by matchsticks Ethan and Benji have to pretend to be a married couple for a mission. Well, Ethan and Benji are already a married couple, but now they have to pretend to be pretending to be a married couple for a mission, and the rest of the team has to help them keep their secret. It'll definitely all work out fine. Probably. Hopefully. Benji/Ethan, 2k, T

whatever you ask by theappleppielifestyle Tony is temporarily cursed to answer any question truthfully. Steve/Tony, 1k, T

Perhaps It Is Everywhere by matchsticks_p Canon divergence: Poe and Finn crash land together on Jakku and don't get split up. Poe spends the next few days searching for his droid, attempting to save the galaxy, trying not to die of dehydration, and discovering that the newly-minted Finn (minted by me, Poe realizes over and over again, and it feels like a new revelation each time) carries a lot of bad habits from the First Order he has just defected. Finn/Poe, 4k, T

Leave My Body, Moving Up to Higher Ground by triedunture Castiel must take a new vessel to return to earth, so he strikes a deal with a woman who isn't as willing as Jimmy had been. But Dean's in a bad way and Leviathan needs to be smote, so what else can he do? Dean/Cas, 17k, E

Vae Victis by Elspethdixon "But you, Patroclus, you would not let me weep… You were always kind." Achilles/Patroclus, 3k, G

we should just kiss like real people do by theappleppielifestyle Hoodie-guy stops in front of Steve just as he snaps, “FINE, I want to bang Tony Stark like a screen door in a hurricane, could we drop it now?” “UM,” Sam says, loud enough that they both turn to look at him. He’s wide-eyed as he jerks his head meaningfully, gestures getting looser and more pointed as they continue not to get it. Steve stares at him. This is why Sam is never picked for a partner when they all play Charades. There’s a tap on his shoulder, and Steve turns to see Hoodie-guy smiling. Steve opens his mouth to say do you need something when he realizes why the man’s face is so familiar. “Hi,” says Tony Stark. Steve blurts the first thing he thinks. “Fuck.” Steve/Tony, 5k, T

A Dream of Flight by triedunture  Cas starts visiting Dean in his dreams with astonishing regularity.  Dean/Cas, 7k, M

[moonb-eam]

Ok I have a fic question if you’re willing to answer: what did Eliott say to Manon? I wanna know soooo bad!! (What Manon mentions in ch3 of sk8er boi 😅😅)

ahhhhhh omg this is so cute!! 🧡🧡 thank you for asking!!

okay, so i love this question so much that instead of just telling you, i wrote a little scene about it??? i hope it satisfies your curiosity!! 👀

(takes place ~ two weeks after ch. 3)

“Can I ask you something?”

Manon looks up at him from where she’s cutting Daphné’s birthday cake into perfect, even slices. She smiles. “Sure.”

“What did, uh…” Lucas runs a hand over the back of his neck, focusing his gaze on where the F in Bonne Fête has been sliced in half. “Remember when you told me you thought there was something going on between me and Eliott? Because of something he said?”

Manon pokes her tongue into her cheek. “Yeah, I remember.”

She looks like she’s trying not to laugh, and Lucas would normally rather chew tinfoil than give her the satisfaction of being right, but it’s something he’s been wondering about for weeks, and he’s desperate. He drops his head to the counter. “Ugh. Just, what did he say?”

Manon presses her knife back into the cake, cutting another even slice. “I don’t know, Lucas. Maybe it was said to me in confidence. Do you want to break your boyfriend’s trust?”

“Manon.”

She outright laughs now, reaching her free hand over to ruffle Lucas’s hair. “I’m just kidding. I’ll tell you. Although, I should warn you it’s not going to be nearly as juicy as you’re thinking.”

Lucas turns his head to the side, freeing one eye to peer up at her.

“So,” she starts. voice low and warm, “this is months before you two started dating, but it was the sort of thing that just…made me pay attention, you know?”

Months before. The back of Lucas’s neck feels hot. “Okay.”

“It was—well, do you remember that week of classes you missed?”

Lucas does. It was a week at the end of May, when Lucas’s mom had a bad episode, and his dad had called him from Monte Carlo, asking is Lucas could check in on her because he was too busy. Lucas had already been having a stressful month, too preoccupied with his assignments, with the stress of trying to pay rent, with whatever the fuck was going with his heart whenever Eliott Demuary was in the room. He’d become so anxious that he was barely sleeping, and when he went to go see his mom, and saw how poorly she was doing, he went pretty well over the edge. So, he took a week off. He slept for an entire day and spent hours with his mom at the clinic, and got his homework assignments from Yann. It had been a rough time for him, a breaking point from building stress, but it had also been, as the school counsellor says, an important step in him confronting stressors in his life, and healing.

All he says is, “Yeah, I remember.”

“Eliott asked me about it.”

Lucas snaps his head up. “What?”

“Yeah. I ran into him that day when I was leaving school. He was going to the skatepark or whatever, I don’t know.”

Lucas smiles without realizing it, fond.

“I go over to say hi to him, and we’re chatting about classes and whatnot when out of the blue, he asks me, ‘Where’s Lucas?’” She laughs, her imitation of Eliott’s voice exaggeratedly deep and seductive. “I was a bit confused, so I didn’t say anything, and he kept going. He said, ‘He just hasn’t been around this week, and I was wondering if he’s okay.’ And I think that’s nice, so I say, ‘He’s okay, he’s just dealing with some family stuff.’ That’s when he gets kind of shy, you know? And he says, ‘Does he need anything? Can I bring him something?’”

Lucas blinks at her.

“And I’m still kind of confused, but,” she raises an eyebrow at Lucas, “I think I’m starting to get it, so I tell him that he’s sweet, but he doesn’t have to do anything, that we’re all helping you. Because I think you would have lost your shit if I sent Eliott to go check on you.”

Lucas is sure he would have had a coronary, if in the middle of all of that, Eliott Demaury had shown up at his doorstep with a can of soup, or something.

“That was probably a good call,” he tells her.

Manon grins. “I thought so too.” She picks up a stack of paper plates and serves out slices of cake, passing them to Lucas to set aside on the table. “But this is the real thing that made me think. After I tell him that, he seems happy, but before I leave, he says, ‘It seems like Lucas is always taking care of others, doesn’t it? I want to know that someone is taking care of him.’”

And Lucas. He freezes, holding onto a paper plate with a Princess and the Frog design on it, pink icing smeared onto his thumb. “He—” He pauses, swallows. “He said that?”

“Mhm.” Manon takes the plate from him and walks it to the table. “It was the way he said it, too, like he never believed anything in his life more, but he was also so nervous. It was like, just speaking your name, that made him shy. Lucas, from that alone…” She shrugs, rips open a box of plastic forks. “I knew he liked you. Or more than that, I knew he cared about you. At first I thought it was more than you cared about him, but then I saw the way you looked at him. And Emma and Yann started a bet on how long it would take you to bring him up in conversation.”

Lucas makes an undignified sound, a hand coming up to his chest. “They what?”

“You’re not subtle, Lucas. But really, neither is Eliott. You two are made for each other.” Manon turns to face him, holding two plates in her hands. “So, there you go. Now you know what he said.”

Lucas nods. His face is burning, and he’s biting down on the inside of his cheek. “Yeah. Thank you.”

Manon nods, and swans out of the room.

Lucas stays in the kitchen for a while alone, leaning back against the kitchen counter and staring at the wall across the room. He thinks about that week back in May, when everything had been too much for him, and all he wanted was for someone to hold him and say, Lucas, it’s going to be okay.

He hadn’t known that Eliott wanted to be that person the entire time.

I want to know that someone is taking care of him.

He pushes away from the counter, wheeling out of the kitchen and into the throng of people in the hall, some dancing to a remix of a Dolly Parton song, some drinking on the sofa, some standing by the bar, but where is he, where is—

Eliott.

He’s near the stairs, talking to Arthur and drinking a can of Cherry Coke, listening to a story intently, one that involves a lot of hand gestures from Arthur, and is resulting in Eliott laughing so hard his eyes crinkle into little half-moons.

Lucas marches up behind him, making a face at Arthur when they lock eyes, but not stopping until he’s close enough to touch Eliott, close enough to wrap his arms around him from behind, burying his face between Eliott’s shoulder blades.

Eliott startles, then melts back against Lucas, running a hand over his arms. “Hi,” Eliott says, and his voice sounds like the most comfortable bed Lucas has ever slept in.

“Hi,” Lucas mumbles into his back. He kisses him though his t-shirt. “Hi.” He repeats, and kisses him again.

Eliott laughs, craning his neck back. “What’s going on?” When Lucas still doesn’t move, his voice becomes tinged with concern. “Are you okay?”

I want to know that someone is taking care of him.

“M’fine,” Lucas says, smushed into Eliott’s back. “I love you.”

Neither of them have said it yet, both tiptoeing across a tightrope wire of do you? i do for weeks. Or at least, Lucas has. He hopes Eliott has too, but even if he doesn’t. Lucas just wants him to know.

“Oh.” Eliott whispers, stilling.

Lucas peaks over his back and sees that Arthur has subtly ditched them for the dance floor, where he’s now grinding back against Yann to Jolene.

Then Eliott is turning in the circle of his arms, and Lucas’s vision is filled with nothing but Eliott: Eliott’s broad shoulders, his narrow waist, his green t-shirt, soft under Lucas’s hands, his beaming smile, his wide, grey eyes.

“Lucas,” Eliott says, and he’s leaning down, pulling Lucas into a searing kiss that makes Lucas’s head spin, makes his knees feel like the melted icing of Daphné’s cake. “Lucas,” Eliott repeats, pulling back. “I love you too, fuck, I love you. Oh my god.” They kiss again, but Eliott is babbling into it, and their teeth clack together. “Lucas, oh my god, I’ve wanted to say that for so long, but I wasn’t sure you did too, and I didn’t want to—”

“I know.” Lucas interrupts him, smiling so wide his face hurts. “I was scared to tell you too, but I...I love you. So much.”

Eliott laughs, pressing their foreheads together. “God. Why are we like this?”

“You know, Manon says we’re made for each other.”

“Does she?”

Lucas nods, tilting his head back so he can see Eliott’s eyes. “She told me something else, too.”

And it’s only a second, but he can see a tightening around Eliott’s eyes, like he’s nervous all over again. “What did she tell you?”

“Something you said, a while ago. It’s okay, I just…” Lucas holds Eliott’s face in his hands, stands on his tiptoes to kiss his cheek. “Thank you.”

Eliott exhales against him. “For what?”

“For taking care of me.”

[meghiemootriesawhumpblog]

Carlo

I wrote this because I had an idea stuck in my head- I’ve been mulling over it for weeks. I just had to get it down. I’ve really never written with someone else’s characters before so bare with me. Also, this is the first time I tried writing in present tense so... bare with me on that one, too. There really isn’t any like direct whump in this. 

Carlo and Max and the world they live in belong to @deluxewhump who so graciously let me use them.

I’m sorry it got so long I’m literally making it two posts. Merry Christmas!

(I really don’t know how this got this long. I never write this much.)

Anyway this takes place like way way way later after what’s going on with Carlo right now. Carlo is in college in this. Enjoy!

"You don't have any family, right?"

Carlo carefully peruses the library bookshelves. He isn't really reading the titles. Mostly he's just passing over them pretending to be very consumed with the options of literature on horticulture to avoid answering the question. 

There are two options for answering this kind of question- lie or tell the truth. If he lies, if he says yes, he has a family, really he swears, then later he will have to remember the lie and keep it the same. If he tells the truth, he'll probably be asked more questions that he couldn't answer with the truth and he'll lie anyway. But right now he couldn't remember exactly what he told Sam last time a conversation like this came up. He had to remember that first. He should probably start keeping a notebook. 

"Hey, Carlo" Sam sounds annoyed but in a pleasant friendly way that Carlo is still getting used to "earth to Carlo, did you fucking hear me?" 

She cusses a lot too. But that doesn't really bother him. Much. 

Carlo takes a deep breath as Sam repeats the question. 

"No," Carlo decides. Truth. "No, I don't really have a family." 

Sam nods sagely. "That's what I thought. Me either. I think we bonded over that in Chem lab once." 

Carlo actually did remember that once she said it. Chemistry lab. So she really doesn't know all that much about him then. She had told him her family was "a bunch of shits and so we don't talk anymore". Carlo had told her he didn't have any family either. Volunteered the information. And she had smiled at him. It was a crooked, kind smile that radiated from her eyes. He had desperately wanted to make her smile again. Which was why they were friends now really. He kept following her around trying to make her smile again. It was actually harder than he had first thought. She was bitter about things. 

"So you'll be around over break then. That's fucking awesome." She moves until she stands next to him, picking up a book on organic mushrooms. She makes a face and puts it back. " What are you doing for Christmas?" 

"Christmas?" Carlo repeats. 

"Yeah," she says with a laugh "you know 'the most wonderful time of the year'" she sings the last part slightly. Her voice rises and she laughs again. "You know what fucking Christmas is, I'm sure." 

He does know about Christmas. That's not it. He actually has plans for Christmas, but they are with Max and he can't tell this girl about Max without telling her about… everything else. So he just stares at her.

"I'm working a double I think. Shitty I know, but hey money's fucking money right." She says, seemingly unphased by his silence. "But I should have Christmas Eve off. If you want to, you can come over. I usually just drink copious amounts of cider- the alcoholic kind of course- and watch a decidedly not Christmas movie until I pass out. But we could…" her voice trails off for a second and she suddenly looks right at him and Carlo has to look away, back to the bookshelf  "…watch Elf or some other Christmasy shit… if you'd rather. Maybe try drinking hot cocoa or whatever the fuck"  

"I have to go see Max" he hears himself say it before his thoughts catch up with his lips but by then Sam is staring at him. 

"Who the hell is Max?" 

Shit shit shit

"No one, I mean he's just like, just Max." 

Carlo could feel his heart racing in a way it hasn't in gosh it's been years since he felt this vulnerable. 

Sam eyes him suspiciously but doesn't say anything for a long time while Carlo just stands there staring at a book titled Hydroponic Food Production and feeling like time was moving just so damn slow. Too slow.

"Sorry, dude I just…" she tries to catch his eye but he's looking at the ground now right where his sneaker toes against the bland, thin library carpeting that would never be in a place like... He feels eleven years old again and he just can't. She is apologizing now which is stupid. He should be apologizing for being stupid enough to think he could get away with this. Acting like a person. When he wasn't.  

I need to go see Max because he's my owner and I have to see him and I want to see him because I just owe him so much and he's so important to me I'm sorry, Sam. Please forgive me. I'm sorry. 

She was still talking "like I have never even heard of this fucking 'Just Max' before and we've known each other a minute... so it's just weird I guess, but then you've never been a sharer so."

Carlo is still looking at the floor and feeling like absolute shit. She clearly wants an explanation and he's not going to give her one. 

She grabs her bag off the table near the shelf they've been lingering at. Carlo looks at the bag now. It is a muted green with colorful patches all over it and he wonders if she sewed those on herself. Probably did. She is so damn independent. She controls her own life and probably always has. She's always been a person. 

"Well" she says, "I should be going. Pretending to study with you have been fucking real, my friend, but if I want to actually pass American lit and keep my scholarship I should probably" she makes a clicking sound with her tounge and gestures toward the exit. She was leaving then "You gonna be cool getting home?" 

Carlo forces himself to meet her eyes. "Yes," he says in a tight voice "I'll be fine. Yes." 

"Alright," she eyes him a minute longer like she wants to say something else, but doesn't. She shoulders her bag and holds two ring covered fingers up in the air at him "deuces" she says. She's smiling, technically, but isn't one of the smiles Carlo likes. It's hollow. 

Carlo stands there in the now empty aisle feeling a hollowness of his own he hasn't felt in a while. 

He's wondering why the hell Max thought this was a good idea. 

---

When Carlo opens the door to his little apartment, he just feels worse. It normally feels good coming back and being in a space that's so fundamentally his. He picked out the furniture. He stocked the pantry. He set up the bookshelves himself and filled them with all his favorites. Well, Max had helped a little. But he had asked first. 

But right now? The place feels empty. He slides onto the couch. It is a beautiful blue couch that makes him feel cozy, except now it feels foreign and wrong. He wants a hug. He wants to go home. 

He pulls out his phone and is already clicking before he realizes he is doing it. 

It rings four times before he picks up. 

"Carlo?" 

"Max." A wave of relief. Max. 

"Hey sweetheart." Max's voice is a bit muffled. Carlo wonders what he was doing. Probably something important. The phone did ring four times. "What's wrong." 

"N-nothings wrong." He says into the phone, hoping it sounds like the truth. He doesn't want Max to think he's a liar. Although he is. He used to never lie as much as he does now. "I just wanted to, to say hi is all." 

Max hums in response but doesn't question him. "Well hi then, Carlo." There's a banging sound like something falling and Max curses softly "Join any cults or activist groups lately?"

Carlo smiles "No, sir. I've just been studying. Finals" 

"Exciting." Max says, deadpan. Clearly Max doesn't seem to think finals are all that exciting. But Carlo actually likes the learning process. Taking the finals is the pay off, proof he'd actually learned something. Validation. He doesn't want to disagree with Max though. So he stays quiet, just taking quiet comfort in knowing Max exists. 

"What's bothering you, buddy?" Max asks after a minute. Complete silence. Whatever Max had been doing, he's stopped.

"Max, I…" Carlo stares at the ceiling fan. It moves so slowly. He should tell him. He seems to guess already. I messed up, sir.  He bites his lip. 

"My friend, Sam, she invited me over for Christmas. Well," he amends "Christmas Eve, she wasn't going to be doing anything so she invited me over." 

"Oh really? That's nice." He sounds pleased. How can he be pleased? 

"Nice?" A strange wave of anger hits him with a sudden intensity and he sits up straight on the couch. "Max, we have plans already! I can't, I can't spend Christmas with her. And, I, I told her that." 

Max laughs. "You'll be here on Christmas day and besides you can come over anytime, sweetheart." 

Carlo swallows. "No, I told her. I said I had plans with you. With Max." 

"Yeah?"

"Yeah?" Does he not understand? "You told me not to tell anyone about you because then people might realize stuff.. about me. And then I did! I told Sam!" You should punish me but you won't. He pushes the old thought aside and tries to focus on what’s really bothering him. "What if, what if now she knows?" He hears how small his own voice is and he's filled with shame. 

Max is silent for a moment "What else did you say?" He sounds vaguely curious. None of the anxiety coursing through Carlo's veins is evident in Max's voice.

"Nothing," Carlo's voice is desperate "nothing else, sir, I swear."

Carlo doesn't breathe until Max speaks "No big deal then; you didn't really tell her much. You can tell people about me. Just not all the little details about our history. That's what's dangerous." 

"I said more than I should have." He fiddles with the cloth of the pillow on his couch. He'd picked it out at Target specifically because it was so soft. "And you had told me not to."

"It was a suggestion when I said not to tell anyone." Max's voice is soft "I meant only for you to be careful. I don't give you orders anymore, Carlo."

I wish you would sometimes. He thinks. Then feels guilty. He isn't supposed to feel that way anymore. He doesn't want to feel that way anymore. 

"You like her? She's a good friend to you." 

Carlo doesn't have to think about it. "Yes." 

"Do you trust her?" Max asks. 

Does he trust her? That takes a second longer to consider. "Yeah, I think so." 

"So," Max ventures "how bad would it be if she knew? Hypothetically?" 

Carlo hesitates. How bad would it be? He thinks about how Sam looks at him. Like he's just anybody. A regular person. A knot forms in his stomach. "What if-" he sighs, gathering himself "what if she looks at me different? Like when she realizes. What if she sees a, a p-pet instead of her friend?" 

"Do you really think she would?" 

"I…" would she? "I'm not sure…" He picks the pillow up. He hugs it to his chest wishing he could hug Max. He could go over there, Max would be fine with it, but that would be a bit dramatic wouldn't it? He couldn't do that. No, he was a grown man. He was fine. He clutched the pillow tighter. 

"If you want to tell her eventually, that's okay with me, baby. But you also don't have to tell her anything ever." 

Carlo thinks about that "It's not something I can un-tell her." 

"No, it's not.” Max agrees “But it's fine if she knows about me. That alone wouldn't hurt, probably.” Max pauses “Carlo, it would be great if I could meet her, too. If you were comfortable with that. She could come for Christmas Eve here, instead, not that it is going to be very exciting. Do you want to invite her to join us?" 

"Join us? At our house?" His voice squeaks a little.

Carlo senses Max's smile on the other side of the phone almost like he’s holding back a laugh "Yes, at our house. Then you can spend Christmas Eve with both of us." 

"Hmmm" He imagines Max and Sam in the same room. Shaking hands. Drinking wassail together. Her dirty boots on his nice rugs; she'd probably put her feet up on Max's coffee table. It isn't super easy to imagine, but not that difficult either. Max would be kind to her. Probably make stupid jokes that would make Sam laugh. She would see Carlo and Max together and… and what? What would she think exactly? How would Carlo explain Max? 

"Should I invite her? Should I, I tell her?" 

Max is quiet. 

"Max, just, just tell me what to do." He needs to be told what to do. And Max isn't going to do it. He knows.

"I'm not going to tell you what to do." 

Of course you won't. He tries to be angry. But he isn't. Not really. 

"I know." He acknowledges "I sometimes wish you would." 

He doesn't miss it. The fear and uncertainty. The fact that he used to have barely even a concept of his sense of self. But it was nice. Sometimes it was nice to just let life happen around him. Decisions were so hard. And now he made so many decisions. What to eat, what to wear, where to sit in class, who to talk to, when to do his homework, what classes to take. Sure, they were thrilling when he was deciding what book to read next or picking out a comforter for his bed. But these big decisions that would affect his life were anxiety inducing. He wanted Max to just pick for him. What should he major in? Would he look good with dyed hair? Should he invite Sam over for Christmas? Should he tell Sam his identity was fake? That he was fake?

He wishes someone would just tell him what to do. He'd reserve his right to say no. That's as much independence as he actually wants. 

"But" Max was talking again. Focus. "I'll give you my advice. That I will do. Here it is: I'd invite her over. But not tell her details just yet. Baby steps." 

Baby steps. He could do baby steps. 

“Baby steps” He repeats into the phone, grinning. 

[heart-eyes-matteo]

It’s You ~ David x Matteo

Hi, here’s that best friends to lovers AU I was talking about, I hope it’s okay!!

AO3 Link: In the reblog

Word Count: 6952

Warnings: none

Summary:

“And at school while he’s looking at Hanna, I’m…” he trailed off for a moment, lowering his voice timidly, “...looking at him.”

David nodded, his eyes downcast, and Matteo couldn’t help but think from the level of understanding on his face that he knew somehow what that was like. He brushed the thought off though - they were best friends at this point, and if David liked someone he would be the first to know. Right?

~

Or the one where Matteo and David are best friends. That is - until feelings become involved.

*Fic is under the break*

Matteo was 14 years old when he saw first saw David. They were on break, and Jonas had declared they desperately needed fresh air or they’d wither away inside. He was right, although Matteo really didn’t want him to be. He enjoyed spending his days at Jonas’ place playing video games, pretending that the world around them didn’t exist. That the fighting between his parents didn’t exist.

After a few days of consistent rainfall, the clouds had finally eased up to allow some sunshine. A gentle breeze gusted over the park, rustling his hair and misplacing a few strands as he plucked a flower from the ground and dropped it on Carlos’ head. The boy snorted and messed up his own hair in attempt to remove it.

“Matteo stop picking flowers,” Jonas groaned, not looking up from his phone for a second.

“I’m bored,” came the equally whiny response, earning him a laugh from Abdi.

“Dude, you’re literally always bored unless you’re playing video games.”

“So what? Video games are sick,” he retorted, flicking a smartie at the boy.

Jonas glanced up for a brief moment to roll his eyes, before returning right back to his phone. Matteo was almost tempted to ask what he was doing, but he knew that would only lead to one of the vague answers they had been receiving from Jonas as of late. He’d never admit it aloud, but he was beginning to worry slightly about what it was that he was so adamant on hiding.

He had forgotten to charge his phone overnight, which had to be some of the worst timing in the world because Jonas had chosen that particular day for wanting fresh air. He cursed his bad luck under his breath as he glanced about the park, trying to find some sort of entertainment. There was a woman there with her toddler, a family, another group of kids and a boy sitting alone.

Matteo eyebrows furrowed slightly as his eyes landed on him. His dark hair fell insistently over his eyes as he leaned over his sketchbook, headphones on to drown out the world around him. Matteo did that a lot at home these days, although he’d never tell anyone that. Despite not being able to see the boy’s face fully he could tell there was concentration written all over it, his hand guiding the pencil in smooth motions. He looked somewhat out of place at a park full on kids on a sunny day, wearing all black and radiating the energy of someone who didn’t want to be approached.

Mateo thought about how he felt when he was alone, and he couldn’t help but wonder why anyone would come to a park like this by themselves. Maybe he liked being alone? Matteo could hardly imagine what that would be like.

“I’ve got it guys!” Jonas yelled out in triumph, but for once Matteo’s attention wasn’t on him. It was still on the boy sitting by himself, who was now looking up curiously as if he could feel someone’s eyes on him. His gaze met Matteo’s, and for a brief moment he forgot how to breath. A faint smile ghosted over the boy’s lips, but it was gone as quickly as it had appeared.

Carlos waved a hand in front of his face. “Hello? Earth to Matteo?”

Matteo just swatted at Carlos’ arm, redirecting his attention towards Jonas. “Sorry. What were you saying?”

“I know where we can get some weed to try!”

Matteo pushed aside the uneasy feeling in his stomach and forced a smile onto his face. “Nice,” he nodded, giving him a clap on the back.

“Lets go back guys. I’m bored as fuck,” said Abdi, getting to his feet.

Matteo groaned and held out his arms, which the boy begrudgingly took to help him up.

As they made their way towards the footpath, Matteo gave Abdi a playful shove. “So when I say I’m bored you guys make fun of me, but when Abdi says he’s bored we go? What the fuck is that!”

Jonas laughed and slung an arm over his shoulder, which had an annoying bunch of butterflies appearing in Matteo’s stomach.

“That’s because Abdi isn’t bored by everything,” Jonas explained.

“Oh fuck off,” he mumbled, earning himself another laugh.

Matteo glanced back towards the bench for a final time, only to discover that the boy was gone. He stared in confusion for a moment, before shrugging and tuning back into what Jonas was saying.

~

It was a few weeks later when term had started that Matteo saw the boy again. Despite the sunshine they were having that day, there was a chilling breeze outside that had people tugging at their coats and tightening their scarves.

Matteo was walking casually through the corridors, fashionably late to his Science class as he often was. He was scanning the area absentmindedly as he walked, in no particular rush whatsoever to reach his destination. His eyes landed on that boy from the park, which had Matteo double-taking in an almost comical fashion. There was no mistaking him - he had dark hair and warm brown eyes, wearing all black as he had been the first time. He was leant up against the wall with the same sketchpad in his arms, drawing away with his headphones on.

Something in Matteo had him stopping all of sudden, and as the boy slowly looked up at him he began to realise what an awful idea that had been. He had no clue what to say, so he ended up standing there silently for a moment or two, probably looking like idiot.

“Hey,” he settled on saying. “I’m Matteo.”

The boy’s smile was amused, but it didn’t seem unkind.

“I’m David,” he greeted. “Did you want something?”

Matteo wracked his brain for something to say that wouldn’t make him seem like any more of an idiot, but he came up blank. He was used to feeling awkward around new people, but this had to be a whole new level of mortifying - this guy was cool in an intimidating way.

“Uh...not really. You’re new, right?”

David nodded, still looking amused. “Yeah. I’m new.”

“Well...let me know if you need help with anything,” he said, not even fully aware of what was leaving his mouth. He honestly had no idea what was happening to him - usually he was never one to initiate something like this.

The boy’s playful smile melted into something fonder. “Thanks, Matteo.”

~

The following day brought rainfall with it, which really shouldn’t have been surprising given the angry grey storm clouds Matteo had seen on the way to school. It happened to be a perfect reflection of his mood at that moment after having locked himself in his room for the whole night to escape the sounds of his parents fighting. They had clashed for as long as he could remember, but he swore it had never been this bad before. Turning up the volume of his music helped in drowning out the yelling, but it didn’t drown out the knowledge of what was occurring between his parents in the next room.

It had started out with one tear. Then another. Then another, until soon he was crying and getting up from his seat in the cafeteria, mumbling something to his friends about needing to go through to the bathroom. He stumbled slightly on the way there, his throat tight as silent tears turned into sobs that he had to muffle with his hand. He reached the boy’s bathroom and grabbed on tightly to the sink like it was a lifeline, looking into the mirror and trying desperately to calm himself down somehow. He hated crying more than anything, but sometimes it was hard for him to stop.

He thought about his dad, and how he kept talking about wanting to move back to Italy. He thought about his mom, and how she wasn’t getting the help he knew she needed.  He thought about having to potentially move out, about how alone he would feel in a place by himself.

He was drowning in his own thoughts, so much so that he hadn’t even heard the door being gently pushed open and closed again.

“Matteo?”

The voice snapped him out of whatever daze he had been. He whirled around then, looking alarmed despite the knowledge that he wasn’t the only one who had access to this bathroom.

“Oh. David.”

The boy bit his lip for a moment, and Matteo could practically see the gears in his head turning.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“Yeah.”

David raised a disbelieving eyebrow, tilting his head in a way that almost seemed playful.

Matteo smiled weakly. “I’d prefer not to talk about it.”

David nodded, and silence fell between them for a moment. Matteo was seriously considering just thanking him for his concern and relocating to a different bathroom, but David spoke up again before he could move at all.

“Wanna sit down for a moment?”

Matteo could barely conceal his shock at that. This boy, who he barely knew, wanted to sit with him...because he seemed sad? He contemplated this for a seconds, before nodding hesitantly.

“Sure.”

He wasn’t entirely sure why he had agreed. Maybe it had been the concern softening David’s features, or the warmth in his eyes. Either way, they ended up sat outside the bathroom, leaning up against the wall.

“When I’m feeling sad, there’s this song I listen to,” David explained, pulling earphones out of his bag and untangling them.

“Now you can’t judge for this,” he continued, which had Matteo smiling faintly despite the tear tracks that were still on his face.

He managed to untangle them after a few seconds, handing one over to Matteo and plugging them into his phone.

“You may know these guys,” he said, keeping his screen purposely shielded as he scrolled through his songs.

Matteo’s smile widened slightly as the opening verse began to play, giving the boy a playful shove. He could barely believe that this song was being played to him by a cool-looking guy in all black with a sketchbook on him at all times.

“Seriously? This is your taste in music?”

“The rest of my music is good!” he defended with a laugh.

Everyone else in the room can see it

Everyone else but you

Matteo bit his lip to contain a grin as David mouthed along to a few of the lines, elbowing him playfully. He was enjoying himself miraculously enough, which was the last thing he thought he’d be doing this lunchtime.

“Look - you’re trying not to smile! It’s working!”

“Shut up,” Matteo laughed, feeling more at ease than he had at any point during that day. David had been a welcome distraction, with his cheesy song and his charming smile, and from that moment forth their dynamic shifted to resemble something more like friendship.

~

When Matteo was 15 he spent a lot of his nights in his room, listening to loud music through his headphones to drown out the noise in his house. The fighting was becoming constant now, and the yelling was becoming increasingly aggressive in a way that had his heart racing in his chest whenever he heard it. It was one of these nights, except this night happened to be slightly different. David was over, but his parents didn’t know this - Matteo hadn’t expected them home until much later, and he was kind of having an internal freak out over the whole thing.

“Is this what you have to go through every night?” David whispered, clearly alarmed by the situation.

The boy’s usual air of confidence was gone, although he was clearly trying to maintain a brave face. It was pouring rain outside, and the insistent pattering it produced against the roof was only contributing to all of the noise in that house, drowning Matteo in sound that he desperately wanted to cover up with music like he always did. He hated the feeling of being lost in itself, but the feeling of being lost amongst the loud shouts that would resonate around his apartment was something he’d never be able to describe with words.

“It’s nothing,” he sighed, brushing David off. “It’ll be over in 30 minutes or so. Maybe 40.”

David’s eyebrows were furrowed with concern now. Matteo was so used to the sarcastic version of the boy he knew that it caught him off guard slightly.

“It’s fine,” he repeated, more insistent now, but David just tipped his head to the side, clearly not believing him.

“Is this why you never invite me over when they’re home?” he asked slowly, clearly trying to tread lightly.

Matteo bit his lip harsh to stop it from wobbling in the way it always did before he burst into tears. He got up silently and relocated to his bed, sitting to face the wall. It was a futile attempt to block David out, considering they were both in the same room, but it was an attempt nonetheless. There was silence between them for a moment, then he felt the bed dip beside him.

“Why do you do that?” David asked, softer now.

Matteo looked over at him in confusion, forgetting for a moment that he was trying to keep his gaze firmly on the wall.

“Do what?” he questioned.

“Try to hide whenever you’re about to cry.”

He had no idea what it was about the words, but they seemed to open the floodgates because suddenly there were tears rolling down his face. Matteo reverted back to staring at the wall, and after a moment he felt David’s head fall gently on his shoulder. They both remained like that for what seemed like ages, with David’s arms wrapped around him.

It probably hadn’t seemed like much to David at the time, but to Matteo it meant everything. He was so used to coping on his own, he couldn’t describe how nice it felt to finally be able to lean on someone - both physically and emotionally.

~

“You’re a fucking asshole!” Matteo laughed, throwing the controller down on the couch.

David laughed along beside him, his eyebrows raised in a smug fashion. “Yeah? Well at least I’m an asshole that’s better at Mario Kart than you are.”

That earnt him a playful shove,

It was a dreary Saturday evening, with no rainfall despite all of the clouds that were blanketing the sky. Matteo had been in a constant state of stress over the past week due to tests, and this was the first day he could confidently say didn’t suck.

Everyone knew David was ridiculously good at Mario Kart, and they’d always ask Matteo why he was ‘insane enough’ to play with him despite this fact. He honestly couldn’t tell them why, he just liked the bright smile that would always light up David’s face whenever he won. That answer sounded somewhat weird though, so he kept that safely to himself.

“What should we do now?” Matteo asked with a sigh, collapsing back down on the couch.

David collapsed down next to him, still smiling. “I don’t know. What do people usually do at sleepovers?”

Matteo looked away bashfully. At sleepovers with his friends, they usually spent their time discussing all the girls they liked, and that had never particularly been an interesting conversation for him so that was definitely out of the cards.

He shrugged. “I don’t know. Do you like anyone?” he asked casually, eliciting a choked noise from David.

“Pardon?” he coughed, and Matteo couldn’t help but raise a surprised eyebrow.

“What the hell was that?”

“Fuck off,” David said with a laugh, but it didn’t have any heat behind it. “It’s just…”

“Just…” Matteo teased, mimicking David’s voice.

“Never mind. Do you like anyone?”

Matteo could feel his face growing warm already, which was somewhat mortifying. He contemplated it in his head for a moment, building up the courage, before letting out a heavy exhale and sitting up.

“I like Jonas,” he blurted out, and David’s face twisted from one of curiosity to one of shock to one of...no way. He was just seeing things.

“Oh. That’s cool...he seems like a nice guy.”

Matteo let out a dramatic sigh, playing with the bracelet around his wrist as he thought about what to say. David had been the first person he came out to, so the amount of shock that had been on face seemed kind of strange.

“He is,” Matteo nodded, frowning slightly at the way David was refusing to meet his eye.

The other boy suggested suddenly that they try drawing in his sketchbook, which had become somewhat of a tradition for them, and Matteo hastily agreed. The dreary sky outside filled the room with washed out lighting that Matteo had never really appreciated, so he closed the blinds and turned on his warm lamps before settling down at the table with David and picking up a pencil. He watched the boy draw for a moment, becoming slightly caught up on how endearing his look of concentration was, before starting on some of his own drawings.

Somehow, the topic returned to Jonas, and from there it turned to Matteo complaining about his hopeless crush on him.

“I never even realised how much I liked the idiot until he started dating Hanna. How unfair is that?” he asked, while David nodded along.

“That sucks,” he agreed, seeming absent-minded when he really wasn’t in the slightest. He was clinging onto every word, hoping desperately that this was some bad dream he could wake up from.

“And at school while he’s looking at Hanna, I’m…” he trailed off for a moment, lowering his voice timidly, “...looking at him.”

David nodded, his eyes downcast, and Matteo couldn’t help but think from the level of understanding on his face that he knew somehow what that was like. He brushed the thought off though - they were best friends at this point, and if David liked someone he would be the first to know. Right?

~

“I’m trans.”

Matteo looked up, trying hard to conceal his shock. The confession had seemed sudden, but from the look on David’s face he knew it had probably been on his mind for ages.

“Oh. Well that’s fine,” said Matteo, settling down on the couch next to him.

David’s smile looked so relieved that Matteo couldn’t help but frown.

“Oh fuck. Were you scared of telling me? David I-”

“Matteo it’s fine,” he interrupted with a laugh. “It’s coming out in general that I don’t like. Not just to you.”

Matteo nodded slowly, turning the information over in his head. “How long have you been thinking about telling me?” he asked.

David hesitated for a moment before responding. “A few months.”

That in itself had Matteo’s frown deepening. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you. But I will be now, okay?”

The smile David gave him at that was blinding. He leaned his head on Matteo’s shoulder, letting out a shaky exhale. “Thanks.”

Matteo spent the following few weeks researching as much as he could about being trans, and David had only found out about it when he discovered his search history a month later. To say he was shocked as a total understatement, but Matteo just shrugged and told him it’s what all friends should do. David was visibly more relaxed around Matteo from that forth, smiling more, laughing more, talking more openly about why he needed breaks sometimes to go to the bathroom, and Matteo couldn’t be happier for him. Despite all of their playful insults towards one another, he really did want David to feel as comfortable as possible around him.

They were friends after all - probably even best friends at this point.

~

When Matteo was 16 he moved into a flat share. It wasn’t a sudden decision by any means; he had been discussing it with David for 6 months before he finally made the leap, spurred on by his dad’s announcement that he would be moving back to Italy. He lingered back for a week or two to make sure his mum was okay, but eventually he couldn’t keep justifying the stress it caused him to see her in the state she was in.

That brought him where he was now; at his flat share, unpacking his things. He didn’t own a lot, but David was there helping him anyway. The day had brought sunshine with it after a week of miserable weather, and Matteo couldn’t help but feel somewhat hopeful as he parted his curtains, allowing sunlight to flood the room.

“It’s a nice room,” said David, smiling as pulled a stuffed cat from one of Matteo’s bags. “And look - a nice cat too!”

Matteo rolled his eyes fondly, moving across the room and holding out a hand. “Hand over the cat.”

“What if I don’t want to?” David teased, stepping back when Matteo stepped forward.

Matteo just raised a challenging eyebrow, advancing forward even further. David turned around, laughing when the other boy wrapped his arms around him. They ended up stumbling about, laughing and attempting to throw each other off. The soft sounds of 80’s music that were coming from Matteo’s phone filled the room as they both fell onto the bed in a heap, with David hovering above him. His eyes were alight with laughter and mischief, which had a foreign feeling appearing in Matteo’s stomach. One that seemed awfully like...no. Fuck no.

Their smiles faded into something softer as they both lingered there, unsure of what to say or do. A loud bang interrupted them, and David practically sprung to his feet as Jonas, Carlos and Abdi waltzed into the room. Jonas had a slight wince on his face.

“Sorry guys. That was loud,” he said, sitting down casually on the bed beside Matteo.

“Jonas! Hi,” he said, scrambling up into a sitting position.

David took a deep breath, looking dejectedly between the pair for a moment. “I’ll go get us some...food,” he said quietly, walking hurriedly out of the room.

Matteo’s eyebrows were furrowed slightly with confusion as he watched the boy leave, tempted for a moment to get up and follow him. Jonas draped an arm over his shoulder, the goofy smile on his face suggesting he hadn’t noticed anything out of the ordinary.

“What about a party tomorrow night to celebrate your new flat, dude?”

Carlos and Adbi nodded eagerly, while Matteo seemed hesitant, shifting his gaze uncertainly. It wouldn’t be a tolerable party for him unless David was there, and with the way he looked leaving the room Matteo wasn’t sure if he was in the best state to come along. Parties were fun and all, but lately he had found them to be overwhelming with their loud, pulsing music and large swarms of people. A part of him knew it was largely because he was closeted, and watching girls and boys being able to make out freely without worrying created a jealous pit in his stomach.

“Yeah maybe,” he settled on saying, saying up from the bed. “I’ll be right back.”

He left the room then, paying no mind to the confused glances that his friends all exchanged. He found David hovering in the kitchen, putting together sandwiches and humming quietly to himself. Matteo watched the scene with a fond smile; David rarely let his guard down in this way. His hair looked soft, tinged gold from the sunlight streaming in through the window, and he had earphones plugged in as he moved about.

Matteo cleared his throat pointedly, prompting David to look over at him. He didn’t look alarmed at all, which had a fluttery feeling entering Matteo’s stomach as he walked over. David had been comfortable around him for some time now, but the realisation never failed in bringing a smile to his lips.

“You okay?” he asked, approaching cautiously.

“Yeah,” said David with a shrug, continuing to move about the kitchen.

Matteo raised a disbelieving eyebrow at that, moving forward to stand in front of the boy as he turned around.

“You seemed upset just now. Did Jonas and the boys do something?”

David stared back at him, biting his lip out of obvious frustration, looking like he desperately wanted to yell something out. Matteo stared back challengingly.

“You’re so stupid, Matteo Florenzi,” he mumbled, side-stepping the boy and approaching the sandwich press again.

Matteo raised a hand to his chest in mock offence. “Okay, okay, no need to be an asshole.”

David just shot him a smug smile, and Matteo couldn’t help but wonder if that had always caused a swarm of butterflies to appear in his stomach.

~

Matteo gave into hosting a party the following day after some convincing from his friends, who all insisted that this was ‘a big step’ for him that had to be celebrated. Matteo couldn’t help but think they were using this as an excuse to get drunk and make out with girls, but he had checked in with David to make sure he would be there so he honestly didn’t care less about what they did.

Hans, his new overly-enthusiastic roommate, had welcomed the idea with open arms and was currently helping him prepare the apartment.

“So Michi might come over tonight after the party,” he told him with a bright smile.

Matteo nodded along, having already been filled in on the unique relationship they shared. He set down some plastic red cups on the counter, raising an eyebrow at the man.

“You two are seeing each other again?” he asked.

Hans chuckled and shook his head. “Oh no, not at all. He’s far too boring for me to be ‘seeing’ him. We’re just-”

“Okay, okay, got it,” Matteo interrupted with a wince, rolling his eyes at Hans’ cackling laughter

They’d left setting up until the very last moment, which explained the sharp knocking that filled the apartment a few moments later. Matteo groaned slightly and walked over to the door, throwing it open with a fake smile.

“Oh,” he gasped after a moment. “David!”

The boy arched an amused eyebrow. “You seem surprised.”

Matteo’s fake smile melted into a genuine one as he stepped aside to allow David inside.

“I’m not,” he laughed. “I don’t even know why I gasped.”

That was such a huge lie Matteo was scared for a moment that David would see right through it, but he just smiled again and wandered over to the kitchen. He stood there for a moment, probably looking like an idiot with the dumbstruck look on his face.

David looked good. Like - really good.

He had always known his friend was attractive - he wasn’t blind by any means, despite his refusal that day to help Hans judge the hotness of men on Grindr. Right now though his hair was styled up, his eyes were sparkling with mischief and he wore a black leather jacket with jeans. Matteo was so caught up in his staring that he hadn’t even noticed Jonas, Carlos and Adbi enter the apartment, and that was virtually impossible given how loud they all were.

He felt strangely hot all over, absentmindedly closing the door as he continued to stare. Surely looking as good as David did at that moment had to be illegal, with the way Matteo had currently been reduced to a star-struck idiot.

The way he felt now, watching David laugh as he talked to Carlos, was completely different to way he used to feel looking at him, and that thought in itself was terrifying. Lately when he looked out the window during class his mind would wander to David rather than Jonas, and now that he thought about it his urge to constantly be around Jonas had diminished over the past few months. It had all become about David, and that realisation hit him like a truck as he continued to stand there dumbly.

He could not like his best friend. This could absolutely not be happening.

Later on when the party was in full swing he was having his usual back-and-forth with David in the kitchen, leaning back against the counter with a smirk while David stood in front of him looking unfairly good, a plastic red cup in hand. This was a normal thing for them to do at parties, but somehow Matteo could feel himself blushing about ten times more than he usually did.

“Your face is awfully red Matteo, are you okay?” David teased, earning himself a playful swat on the shoulder.

“It’s hot in here,” the boy responded stubbornly, taking another sip of his drink.

“Oh sorry - should I leave?”

Matteo bit his lip to contain a smile, rolling his eyes playfully. “You’re such an asshole.”

David just laughed, and that sound should not have had Matteo grinning in the way it did.

He was so fucked.

~

Matteo was 17 when he finally told David that his crush on Jonas was gone. He hadn’t even really been planning to in all honesty, but they were lounging about on Matteo’s bed one evening eating cheese toasties and when David had rolled over to look over at him, something in him just snapped.

“I like don’t like Jonas anymore.”

It had been a miserable day outside, with heavy rain pattering against the room and filling the silence that fell between them after that. Hans was at Michi’s place (Matteo still thought their relationship was more serious than Hans let on) and Linn was visiting family. They were alone there, looking at one another, and Matteo had to take a deep, audible breath to calm himself.

“Oh,” said David after a while, still looking somewhat shell-shocked. “When did that happen?”

Matteo shrugged, trying to seem like he had no idea despite being able to pinpoint the exact moment he had realised - at that party when they were 16. Truthfully, he was hoping deep down that this information would spur David on somehow.

“He’s kind of annoying, honestly.”

David laughed, and the sound was filled with so much relief Matteo couldn’t help but wonder. Was there a change David liked him back?

“Actually - I think you’re the annoying one. He’s nice.”

“Hey!” Matteo accused, smiling softly when David just laughed.

His gaze fell on David again, and for a few lingering moments he had the urge to just lean forward and close the gap between them. The thought scared him so much though that he refrained - he had kissed girls before, but he had never kissed a boy in his life. Let alone his best friend.

“Wanna play Mario Kart?” David asked him with one those mischievous smiles.

Matteo could only nod yes, playfully pushing the boy back onto the bed as he tried to get back and rushing toward the door.

“Fuck you!” he laughed, letting out a playful huff when Matteo just stuck his tongue out and ran towards the living room.

~

From that moment forth, something noticeably shifted in his interactions with David. There was a new underlying tension there that made him feel fluttery inside, and eventually even the girl crew began to pick up on it.

Sometimes everything would melt away around them when they looked at one another for a lingering moment, both clearly wanting to say more, do more, but not knowing if they should. Sometimes Matteo would laugh particularly hard at something David had said, and for a moment the other boy would just watch him, smiling fondly, looking as though he wanted more than anything for Matteo to this happy all the time. It was no secret that were inseparable at school, constantly exchanging glances, constantly whispering to one another, constantly sitting together. Even Jonas would look over at them sometimes, his smile knowing in a way that had Matteo’s heart leaping into his throat.

David would bite his lip sometimes when they were alone as though he desperately wanted to say something, but didn’t quite know how. Matteo had come dangerously close on multiple occasions to blurting the words ‘what the fuck are we?’ but he had always managed to restrain himself at the last moment.

“So Matteo,” Mia began, her voice gentle as it always was when she was hesitant about asking something.

The boy hummed and looked over at her, pausing his internet surfing for a moment. “Yeah?”

“How’s David?”

He very nearly choked on his own saliva at that, coughing violently and bringing a hand up to cover his mouth. He had come out to Mia about a year ago, but that was the last thing he’d been expecting to hear at that moment.

Mia laughed and shuffled over on the couch to pat him on the back. “Are you okay?” she asked, clearly trying to hide her amusement.

All Matteo could bring himself to do was give a weak nod. “I’m fine. And David’s also fine! I don’t know why you would…” he trailed off uncertainly and bit his lip. Was there any point in trying to deny it anymore?

Mia raised an eyebrow, her eyes shining curiously. “So you don’t like David then?”

Matteo let out a heavy sigh. “Okay yeah...I guess I do.”

She gave him a kind smile at that, clearing sensing his hesitance. Mia had always been that way; sensitive to what other people were feeling, sometimes scarily so.

“That’s great, Matteo. Are you going to tell him?”

Matteo gave a small shrug, not even fully sure himself. He had come ridiculously close so many times it almost felt as though he’d never be able to commit to it.

“We’ll see,” he ended up saying, and Mia nodded in understanding.

“He’s very cute,” she said, giving him a playfully elbow.

Matteo felt his face redden at that. “He is,” he couldn’t help but agree, smiling as Mia gave him a wink and leant her head on his shoulder.

“How’s Alex?” he asked, but the girl just shook her head.

“Lets keep talking about David,” she murmured, her tone pleading.

Matteo was almost inclined to ask what was wrong, but it was obvious that Mia didn’t want to talk about Alex at that moment so he gave her shoulder a comforting squeeze and began talking about David.

~

It was another rainy evening, and Matteo and David were both rugged up in sweaters trying to do maths homework. Matteo even went the extra mile and wrapped a scarf around his neck, because he had trouble concentrating on maths as it was without feeling cold.

David was leaning over the table, his chin rested on his hands as he watched Matteo write. There was a playful smile on his lips that Matteo couldn’t help but find awfully distracting, but he tried to focus anyway.

“What the fuck is this?” he groaned after a few moments, gesturing down at the page.

David arched a perfect eyebrow as he read over the question. “That, my dear Matteo, is an equation.”

Matteo snorted. “You’re annoying; you know that?”

David’s smile widened. He moved around the table to sit beside Matteo. “Okay...well do you know what type of equation it is?”

Matteo just gave him a blank look, which seemed to tell David what he needed to know.

“It’s a linear equation. They want you plot a graph.”

He would never admit to it, but Matteo did actually know what he was talking about. He was just finding excuses at this point for David to lean into his space, and this happened to be one of them.

“I have no idea what that means.”

David gave him a knowing look, but he leaned over anyway and picked up his pencil.

“First you find the x and y intercepts,” he mumbled, and oh god - David’s face was so close to his own that all he would have to do is dip his head slightly and-

“Like this,” said David, glancing over at the boy with a small smile as he wrote.

Matteo nodded absentmindedly, his gaze shifting involuntarily down to the curve of his lips. They looked so goddamn kissable, Matteo was pretty sure he was about to lose his mind. His eyelashes were long, fluttering delicately, and he wanted nothing more than to tell David how cute he was. So he did.

“You’re really cute.”

David’s alarmed gaze met his, his eyes widened. “Pardon?”

“You’re um...you’re really cute,” he repeated, wondering deep down where the hell this courage was coming from.

“Oh,” said David, softer now. “...Thanks.”

He put the pencil down in favour of shifting in his seat to face Matteo, lightly biting his lip. Matteo’s breath caught in his throat. He quickly got up from his chair, heart racing, and moved over to the kitchen.

“I have leftover pasta in the fridge! Do you want to have a lunch break?”

He glanced back at David, who was still looking at him in that same heated way. Matteo inhaled sharply and turned back around.

“Um, sure,” came the delayed response after a moment, and Matteo busied himself with heating up pasta for them.

Matteo had kissed girls, hell - he had even made out with them, but he had never kissed someone who he genuinely liked. The fact that this person just happened to be his best friend really wasn’t helping matters either. Maybe one day he would pluck up the courage to kiss David.

Today just wasn’t that day.

~

Matteo was 18 when he finally kissed David.

The sun was setting, colouring the sky an array of oranges and pinks. They were on their way back from the shop, carrying bags of bread and junk food. There was a light breeze ghosting over them both, ruffling their hair and tinging their cheeks red. Everything just felt right.

“I have a new crush,” said Matteo suddenly, which had David looking over at him knowingly.

He could feel a whole swarm of nervous butterflies in his stomach now as he looked back, trying to seem challenging. The streetlamps above their heads flooded the footpath with a warm glow, and it only served to make David even more beautiful than he normally was.

“Oh yeah?” came the teasing response.

Matteo ducked his head bashfully, feeling his face getting redder by the second. David had to be the only person who could Matteo Florenzi feel shy.

“Yeah. There’s this boy...I’ve known him for a while.”

David was smiling wide now as they continued to walk, and Matteo could feel his heart racing. It felt as though everything - all of the heated glances, the touches, the flirty exchanges - had been building up to this point. The point at which one of them would crack and finally say something.

Matteo had definitely cracked.

“Do I know him?” David asked teasingly, his glances and Matteo progressively lingering for longer.

Matteo was smiling too now. “You might. He has dark hair...he likes one direction...he’s a bit of an asshole-”

“Hey!” David accused, and Matteo couldn’t help but laugh. “I only like one song!”

“Tell that to the fucking poster in your closet!”

It was David’s turn to laugh now, and as Matteo looked over at him he could feel the urge to grab this idiot’s face and kiss him until he couldn’t breathe growing stronger.

David’s laughter died down after a few moments. He looked over at Matteo, clearly understanding what the boy was thinking. He had known him for 4 years now, and he had pretty much become an expert in deciphering what every single one of his facial expressions meant. It was admittedly a nuisance sometimes, but Matteo really wouldn’t have it any other way.

When Matteo suddenly came to a halt, stopping right underneath a streetlamp, David did too. David’s eyes were shining with the same confidence that had pulled them together in the first place. He wasn’t hesitant at all; he was simply waiting for Matteo. And Matteo was completely done with holding back.

He stepped forward then, right into David’s space, and the boy gently set down the bags he was holding. There were a few cars zooming by, and the air around them was cold, and Matteo was feeling overwhelmed in the best way possible.

After years of repressing everything he felt, after years of hopelessly pining after his friend, he was about to kiss the boy he liked. After crying alone in his room, after coming close so many times it was surreal, he was leaning into David’s space. He was bringing a gentle hand up to cup the side of his face.

“It’s you,” he mumbled. “It’s been you for two years now.”

”I sure hope so,” David laughed quietly, which had Matteo rolling his eyes and closing the gap between them, bringing their lips together in a gentle kiss. He drew back slightly, before smiling and leaning back in, pressing his lips firmly against David’s this time. David trailed his hands up Matteo’s sides to hang loosely around his neck, pulling him in as close as possible, trying his hardest not to smile too wide. His lips were just as soft as he had imagined, a warm and welcome contrast to the air around them, still sweet from the lollies they’d had earlier. It was David; warm, comforting, inviting, and he was honestly kind of mad at himself for not kissing him sooner because oh man was it good.

“I like you too,” David mumbled between kisses, and it was impossible for Matteo not to smile at that.

Matteo had been waiting for this moment for what felt like the longest time imaginable, but he was unbelievably happy to finally be living in it.

[morganaspendragonss]

Hi just wondering if you were still doing the bad things happen bingo. If so could you do the dying in the arms one with Tk dying in Carlos’ arms. It doesn’t matter how he dies. Thank you if you decide to write it : )

Anon, you have no idea how long I’ve been dying to write a fic like this. Thank you for feeding my impulses. (ao3)

@badthingshappenbingo prompt: Dying in their arms

Fandom: 9-1-1: Lone Star

please keep prompting me! if a fandom is on my blog, i’ll probably write for it!

Carlos knows something is wrong when he gets the text from Owen, telling him that T.K. hasn’t shown up at work. They were both running late when they’d left Carlos’s house that night, so T.K. had turned down his offer of a lift, and Carlos had let him, not wanting to risk a write up.

He regrets it now, but there’s nothing he can do except call T.K., each time getting sent to voicemail, each time leaving a message for him to pick up the goddamn phone. 

He tries to convince himself that everything is fine, that the reason neither Owen nor T.K. have texted back is because they’re on a call and haven’t had time. It doesn’t work, and by the time he’s called out himself, his nerves are wrecked.

The call is to a flipped Uber, pretty bad by the sounds of it. Carlos tries to push away the fear and panic that it could be T.K. because that’s insane, but they’re directed to a street that’s minutes away from the 126, and his hands won’t stop shaking. His partner sends him a look, then offers to drive instead, and he’s never been more grateful for her presence than he is now.

Carlos practically throws himself out of the car when they get there, running over to where the 126 are already gathered. T.K.’s not with them, he can tell that much, and - 

Oh, God.

There’s a body lying on the asphalt, partially obscured by Michelle and her team, but Carlos recognises that Austin FD t-shirt. Just a few hours ago it had been crumpled on the floor of his living room as T.K. fucked him senseless.

Carlos is frozen, unable to move no matter how much his body screams at him to go to T.K. He knows their jobs are dangerous, knows they both put themselves at risk every single day, but it’s different to actually live it. 

Different, even, from when T.K. had been shot, because Carlos hadn’t been there that time. He’s here now, and it’s all too real, all too much.

Owen is suddenly in front of him, saying words that don’t reach Carlos’s ears. He blinks at him uncertainly, knowing he should do something, say something, but he can’t. There aren’t any words, not now. Owen’s hand comes down on his shoulder and all Carlos can think is that this is all wrong. He should be the one doing the comforting, the one getting on with his job, instead of just standing here like an idiot.

Christ, none of them should even be here. T.K. shouldn’t be bleeding out on the asphalt, Owen shouldn’t have to watch his son die again, Carlos shouldn’t have to respond to his own boyfriend’s death -

The thought shocks him back into the present, the sudden rush of noise making Carlos wince. 

“You back with me, son?” Owen says, his voice hollow. 

Carlos nods, and tries to speak past the lump in his throat. “Yes, sir,” he manages. “What can I do to help?” 

If he’s going to have to be here, then he ought to make himself useful, but Owen just shakes his head.

“You can be with him,” he says. “He’s been asking for you.”

Carlos feels sick, not liking the tone of Owen’s voice, nor the implications of what he’s saying. But he steels himself and heads over to T.K., each step like he’s walking through syrup.

T.K. comes into full view as Carlos gets closer and, god, it’s so much worse that he realised. He’s lying in a pool of blood that’s far too big, his face pale as wax, and Carlos would mistake him for dead if not for the subtle rise and fall of his chest and the breath fogging up his oxygen mask. Michelle and her team are hard at work, but Carlos has run plenty of cases like this before. He knows how much blood is too much.

She sees him and beckons him over, shifting so that he can kneel next to T.K. That alone is confirmation enough of how bad the situation is, but Carlos forces down the grief rising in his throat and concentrates on his boyfriend. He spots another man - the driver, Carlos would guess - sitting in the ambulance, wrapped in a blanket; he can’t help but be bitter that this man is okay when T.K. is lying here halfway to death. 

But he can’t think about it for long; T.K.’s eyes are cracked open, that beautiful green trained on Carlos’s face. He tries to smile. “Hey, corazón,” he says, stroking T.K.’s hair. At Michelle’s nod, he carefully lifts T.K.’s head from the ground and places it in his lap.

“‘Los,” T.K. gasps, muffled by the mask. 

“It’s me, it’s me, I’m here,” Carlos shushes. He bends down and presses a kiss to T.K.’s forehead, winding one arm across his chest, hand resting just above his weakly beating heart. It’s a small comfort, but a comfort nonetheless.

Beside him, Michelle stands and walks over to Owen. Carlos can’t hear much, but he catches enough to know that they’ve done all they can. That T.K. is going to die here, on some random Austin road, in the middle of the night. He wants to scream at the world, at Michelle, at the goddamn driver, but he knows that’s unfair of him. It was a freak accident. It could have happened to anyone. 

(Why, then, did it have to be T.K., he wonders, but he knows there’s no answer)

Owen and Michelle come over, Michelle gently removing the mask from T.K.’s face as Owen kneels and holds T.K.’s hand. She squeezes Carlos’s shoulder.

“Talk to him,” she says, then moves back leaving them alone.

Carlos swallows nervously, glancing over at Owen, but he seems beyond words. So, Carlos takes a steadying breath and refocuses on T.K.’s face, ignoring the blood on his hands.

“Hey, T.K.” He sniffs, wiping away the tears that have begun to slip down his cheeks. “Remember the night we met? When we danced at that bar? I think I fell in love with you that night, which is completely crazy, but I guess you and crazy are the same thing, huh?”

He breathes out, laughing a little. “You’ve gotta stop doing this to me, Tyler. I thought we’d agreed last time to stop scaring each other.”

A shudder runs through T.K.’s body and he coughs, blood spilling from his lips. “S-Sorry,” he rasps, and Carlos is startled at the tears in his eyes. He looks up at Owen, wide-eyed, struggling for words. 

Owen nods and shuts his eyes, composing himself. “It’s okay, son. It’s okay.”

T.K.’s heartbeat falters beneath Carlos’s fingers and his eyes begin to drift. Carlos is seized by a sudden panic, desperately clawing for just a few more moments with the love of his life.

“Mírame, amor,” he says, sharper than he intended. T.K. can’t go yet, he’s not ready, he’s not ready -

T.K.’s lips move, and Carlos has to bend down to hear him.

“Love...you.”

“Yeah?” he murmurs, forcing the words out. “I love you, too. So much.”

And there’s a moment, so brief that Carlos isn’t sure it’s not his imagination, when T.K. smiles, and his eyes look more alive than they have done in ages. Carlos wants to freeze that moment, to live in it forever, because he knows with a sudden, awful clarity, that it’s the last one he’s going to get.

Because, when it’s over, Carlos feels the life leave T.K.’s body. There’s no more heartbeat beneath his fingertips, no more air escaping his lips, no more light in his eyes. Carlos stares down into the face of the man he thought he would spend his life with, the bright green of his eyes, the sharp line of his jaw, his lips, still slightly swollen from just a few hours ago, though it feels more like a hundred years now.

And Carlos breaks.

[serendipitys-lie]

Daughter of the Village Chief// H.H. x Female Reader Pt. 1

Warnings (throughout story): Slight mentions of sexual things, sexual misconduct, rape, and cuss words.

Wow so lowkey this is kinda bad and there’s not a lot of Harry in this right now but this is more of a intro chapter and a setting up the story chapter to what’s to come! If anything confuses you feel free to dm me. I also take requests so please feel free to ask as well :)

Summary: Being the daughter of Moana did have its perks from time to time. The ocean who once was a friend of hers had now grown to be a friend of yours and you wouldn’t have known what you would’ve done without it. However one day might come to pass where you will need to know the truth about your past. The real truth. Because all though you had been swimming with the ocean and talking to tefiti all your life, being at auradon was about to change everything and bring the biggest twist to your life, that your mom might not even be your mom and that a certain pirate was soon to be someone to love and not to hate.

“28.... 29..... 30!”

Suddenly light, light everywhere as you took your hands off your eyes and took in all the sights to see.

You were currently in a game of hide and seek with your favorite friend, the ocean.

“Hmmmm I wonder where you went ocean....” you began, sarcastically looking around. “Maybe..... there! Got you!”

Pointing at the water, suddenly the ocean seemed to rise up and nod in response. You laughed at the body of water, clearly it having no where else to hide every time so you were always destined to win.

“Alright how about best 50 outa 100?” You asked, tying up your H/C locks up.

“Yeah I don’t think so little one”

You froze at the voice already knowing who it was.

“Hey Uncle Maui! I was just about to go to bed I swear but isn’t the sunset just so beautiful? haha...”

You tried so hard to stall your time but your Uncle always could see through just like he could with your mom.

“I’m sorry Y/N,” he began. “You have a big day tomorrow remember, first day at a great school with great new people! Better than being stuck on this small little island village for the rest of your life! Now come on, you need to be in bed right now so you can wake up early tomorrow and wish everyone bye.”

The new school he was talking about was in a kingdom called Auradon, meaning that the school was obviously fit to be called “Auradon Prep” run by a King named Rolland and his wife. You wanted so desperately not to go, you weren’t a princess or elegant at all! You were adventurous, outspoken and the daughter of the village Chieftess, yet you would have to fake a smile and go anyway to please your mother and make the village proud.

You sighed and bid the ocean goodnight returning to your cot and resting for the next day.

When the morning did come you made sure to wake up extra early to do all your favorite things on the island for a final time. You helped Hei Hei escape a crazy cook, played tag with Pua, hide and seek with the ocean, and had a lovely girl talk with Tefiti to whom you poured your heart and soul out to.

It was soon time to leave and You hugged your mother tightly, tears pouring down your cheeks. You really would miss the island, a friend as much as the ocean and much more, a home.

Saying your goodbyes to everyone, a black limo then pulled up, the royal car to Auradon. Out stepped a young boy, no older than you, who looked to be about fourteen or fifteen. He smiled a bright smile at you, the creases of his eyes going up in the process.

“Hello I’m Ben!” He exclaimed. “I’m the soon to be future king of Auradon. It was my idea to invite you to join our school, I’m trying to branch out to more students from around the world and you just happen to be the first person I chose! I’m really glad you’re joining us and I hope we can get to know each other some more and become good friends!”

He stuck his hand out for you to shake smiling all the while long. Shy and like a small child, you hid behind your mother slightly peering over at him. You couldn’t help but stare into his eyes. You saw something in them, almost longing, as if in for a friend. You swallowed any ounce of fear you had and walked forward towards him grabbing his hand and watching his smile somehow increase even more.

“I’m Y/N. I hope we can become good friends too.”

~~~~~~~~~~

About three to four years later and here you were. A young woman, sprawled all over her bed, studying for a stupid final that was going to kill her.

“Ughhhhhh” you groaned out in frustration.

“Come on Y/N it’s really not that hard I promise!” said your roommate of almost three years now Lonnie. She was a beautiful girl and was one of your closest friends. Being the daughter of Mulan gave her excellent agility and intelligence as well.

“I know it’s not but it’s just... UGHHH!!!” You screeched in annoyance and anger at the problem on the paper.

“Knockity Knockity! How are my favorite princesses doing?” you heard a voice say, looking up at the doorframe to see it was only the new king and your first ever friend, Ben.

“Ok one im not your favorite princess for sure, and two Y/N is the daughter of the Chieftess! Not a princess.” Said Lonnie knowing how annoyed you’d get whenever someone confused the two.

You slowly perked up from the bed at the sight of Ben. You never got to see your best friend due to all of the new duties he had and all the new students he had to deal with.

“Ah Mr. Bennie Boo! How can we help you?” You said teasing him with the nickname his ex Audrey used to call him and his current girlfriend Mal, who kept it alive.

“Haha funny” he began, “hey I actually wanted to ask you a personal question Y/N/N...”

“Oh sure! Of course! Lonnie can you give us a sec?” You asked your brunette friend with apologetic eyes. She simply nodded and smiled leaving, probably going to find her crush Jay and talk with him more.

Ben took a seat next to you on your bed and suddenly became serious.

“Y/N... it’s about Mal. Something has been off with her lately and I don’t know what! I’m asking you because she seems to trust you a lot and tell you everything and I just need to know what’s happening... am I doing something wrong? Is she not happy with me?”

It was true, you and the VK kids had gotten very close when they arrived at Auradon. At first they seemed to hate everyone but because you guys could relate very well with both feeling new to the place and since you weren’t so girly they eventually almost took you in as a VK yourself.

You assured Ben it was nothing and told him to give Mal some space. Yes you knew what she was going through but couldn’t just give away all her secrets to him and betray her trust. You just told him she was going through things and needed to think alone.

He sadly smiled but agreed with your advice, talking a bit more about how life had been treating both of you before he had to return to more kingly duties that awaited him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

About two hours later and you were still having no luck in studying for the stupid final that awaited you. Because Lonnie had decided to bring Jay to your shared room to talk and giggle, rather loudly might you add, you simply moved your self to Mal and Evies room thankful no one was there so there would be silence.

Yet not even two minutes after you got there Carlos arrived with duke in tow ready to chill and play around with the dog. When you had first met the VKs you had to admit you had an adorable little crush on him but now... now it was so much more. You began twisting your hair around your finger from the ponytail it was in nervously but tried to remain calm none the less.

“C-Carlos” you began, “as amazing as you are and as much as I love duke I’m really trying to study! Do you think you and duke could possibly play at the park?” It hurt to ask that as the truth was you really didn’t want him to leave but you just needed to study. Little did you know it hurt him a bit too.

“Sorry, I promise to be a good boy and listen to you ahaha” he said getting ready to leave but coming over for a hug before he did so.

“Atta boy! Good boy!” You said playfully giving him a hug and a nice, gentle rub on his head. This definitely earned a small content sigh from the boy but he simply played it off as nothing more.

“I’ll see ya later Y/N/N!” he exclaimed now happy and ready to play with duke. You chucked to yourself and prepared to continue studying when not even ten seconds later Mal came bursting in hyperventilating.

“FUCK STUDYING ITS NEVER GONNA GOSH DARN HAPPEN!!” you swore frustrated at this point but then immediately softened as you saw one of the closest friends you had here burst down in tears. You immediately ran to her side and engulfed her into a hug which she returned sobbing all the way.

“Mal, Mal! Girl are you ok?! What’s wrong? What happened!?!” You asked bombarding her with multiple questions.

“I don’t belong here” she sobbed. “I just wish I could go back to the isle, I can’t be the perfect princess they want me to be...”

you knew you shouldn’t have said it but you were desperate to make your friend happy. You’d do anything to see her smile... even if it meant it could hurt Ben in the process...

“I can take you there... follow me”

~~~~~~~~~~~

And now you were here, at the edge of Auradon overlooking the sea and the isle of the lost sitting on it.

“How are we supposed to get there? This is stupid Y/N.... you don’t have any transportation at all, any magic, nothing! We’re just standing here on the sand and it’s itchy and cold!!! Why did I ever agree to this....” Mal ranted upset and over the whole situation already.

“You’re right I don’t have a vehicle, I don’t have magic, or pixie dust, or a mermaid tail or nothing. I’m an ordinary person. But I do have one thing. I have an old friend...” you stated, satisfied with your answer and began walking towards the water. Mal rolled her eyes thinking you had completely lost it, waiting for your feet to hit the water when suddenly they didn’t and you were walking further and further out and the water around you was retracting more and more.

“Woah....” she gasped amazed at what was happening to her friend.

“Hey... long time no see huh?” You said meekly at the walls of water surrounding you. A mass of water rose higher above you, getting close enough to where you could feel drops on your face, and it nodded.

“Ocean... I know I haven’t spoken to you in a while and I miss the island and you and Tefiti and Mom and Maui and...” you stopped, realizing you were ranting and paused for a bit before continuing. “I need you to help me and a friend cross. We need to get to the isle. I know you might feel forgotten for all the years I never spoke to you but I really need this old friend... I always thought about you and really have wanted to talk! I just haven’t had so much time but I love you and I need this... I promise... once it’s all over I’ll come back and we can play hide and seek like the good old days haha...” you finished with teary eyes and a hopeful smile.

Mal watched in amusement at the sentimental scene playing before her. The mass of water inched closer to you and sucked up your

H/C locks into a swirl of water as if to playfully tease you. You giggled and took that as a “yes” and an “I forgive you” urging Mal to edge near so you both could cross.

After introducing the two you had made it closer to the isle and one more step closer to Mal’s happiness. What you didn’t know however was it was also one step closer to revealing who you truly were.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

As you were wandering on the shore of the Isle with Mal you began to discuss more of a plan to everything. After bidding farewell to the ocean you both would go to dizzy tremaine’s salon and give Mal a new doo and you some new “blending in” clothes. It was really the only way to not stand out in the giant crowd of thieves and beggars.

When you had finally arrived at the place Mal shared a long over due reunion with the little girl and introduced you to her. She was quite kind to you despite it being the isle and gave you a bunch of leather outfits covered in spikes to make you fit in more. To add a finishing touch she let your hair down, letting some natural curls fall all around you. You thanked her thousands and told Mal you were going to go out and explore to which she warned you to be careful and then let you leave.

~~~~~~~~~

Among many annoying sketchy shops you came across while wandering the isle you found something that drew you to it. A voodoo shop. One that could tell things about you that you didn’t even know.

You couldn’t understand why but next thing you knew you were walking inside the green door to the very sketchy shop. As you looked around you saw a very young girl who looked about dizzys age. Once she saw you a smile spread to her face.

“Hello miss! Step right up! Have a seat! I can tell you things you’ve needed to know your whole life” she said with a gleam in her eye. And so you did. You sat in the seat at the red clothed table and watched her intently.

“Pick a card any card!” She exclaimed. “You can’t see the card but I will. I’ll read whatever facts are on the card about your life.” You knew there was no way any of this could be true but you just simply nodded and picked a random card anyway.

“Well miss lets see... Definitely not a princess but definitely not a VK either so more in the middle. Daughter of a Chieftess I’m guessing huh?” She asked. You nodded again.

“Well” she continued, “you like the water and the ocean is a friend of yours. You are really close friends with a certain group of VKs and a certain King may I add. and.... woah! What do we have here! Some family history and drama!”

“W-what? What is it?” You began more curious and curious to know what could possibly be wrong with your family.

“Honey have you ever asked about your father?”

“N-no” you responded. You had always wondered about that. Your mother never seemed like the type to settle down or fall for a guy but yet you were still here somehow.

“Honey I hate to break it to you,” she started. “But your mother isn’t your mother. Your real mother had you and couldn’t keep you and so she tossed you in a basket into the sea. The ocean washed you up on the shore of the island of your mother and that’s where your mother adopted and raised you.”

“W-what!?? But then... who are my real parents! What happened what....” you couldn’t think straight, your mind was a mess of thoughts.

“You’re mother was a kind soul. A Native American named tiger lily born and raised on Neverland. She was a daughter of a great chief as well and fell greatly in love with a man. Eventually this man broke her heart and left her for another girl leaving your mother devastated. When he finally wanted to have some fun again he... I’m so sorry.... he raped your mother and created you... Tiger lily in fear that he would find you and hurt you sent you away to where the ocean saved you.”

You could not breathe! Everything was getting tighter but you just had to know one more thing.

“Who... who was the man?”

“They call him.... Peter Pan.” And with that you were out. You slammed some money on the counter and ran, running as far as you could away from everything. Tears began to spill down your cheeks, the world feeling all too small. You despised your father.. how could he? And how could your mother never tell you? What was happening?!??

You were so focused on every new thought swimming in your head you didn’t notice someone was walking in front of you and you crashed right into them.