#No actually meth scares me I really don’t want to do it

[bitchboybyllblackbeard]

Wise words from the King

[galaxywarp]

Hey Blue ;v; I just have something that I need to get off my chest, I need to tell somebody, so I hope it’s okay if I tell you: I have a problem with weed. As in, I need to stop using it. I’m thinking of, like, giving my stash to my friends so I can’t use it as easily. I need to tell my counsellor. But I’m scared. I need help. (Btw it’s not like it’s illegal here, it’s legal where I am. I’m scared because I’ve never dealt with something like this before)

Also, I have a question about your sobriety tracker (bc I use it too, just not for substance use) : when do you start tracking? From the last moment you put the drug in your body, or the first moment you sobered up from it/weren’t high?

And… I’m not weak for having a problem with weed, am I? Just bc like. It’s not a hard drug or anything, it feels kind of stupid to have this happen 😭

(Ugh I need to just say it. I’m addicted to it. Thankfully I don’t have much opportunity to use it, but I use it every chance I get, and I just broke one of my own rules that serves as a restriction)

Hi friend. Thanks for reaching out. I’m glad you’re on the step of your recovery where you can acknowledge you have a problem. That’s a really rough step

Especially because of the weird mixed signals and attitudes around weed addiction. I understand where you’re coming from.

And if it helps, this is me, a certified tweaker who used to OD on fentanyl regularly: your weed addiction is still real and still serious and you still deserve support.

Addiction is addiction when it’s hurting you. It sounds like you’ve come to acknowledge that weed is hurting you but even though it is, you’re struggling to stop.

You’re not doing it because it’s fun. You’re doing it because you feel like you need it and going without it is painful. I’ve felt that way about numerous drugs in my lifetime, and weed is definitely one of them. I would smoke myself so numb for months or years on end and it was absolutely miserable.

Im sorry you’re going through this. I have hope you’ll be able to overcome this. Im glad you shared this with me and I hope you can share it with others too.

If you do decide to quit, I know there’s a lot of stuff trying to claim that weed has no withdrawal symptoms. I don’t think that’s true. From lengthy personal experience I really don’t think that’s true. Heroin and meth were soooo much more extreme, don’t get me wrong. It’s apples to oranges — it can’t be compared

But when I stopped smoking pot I felt achy and agitated and bored and restless and upset and don’t let anyone, including yourself, invalidate that you feel shitty. It’s gonna feel bad for a bit and you have every right to own that. Don’t deny yourself some days of lying around whining and snacking and trying to distract yourself.

The good news is, after 2-3 weeks, you’ll start feeling better in a way you probably haven’t felt since you started smoking 24/7

If you need someone to vent to during that time, my askbox is open

Phew! That’s a lot. For your last question: my exact sobriety dates in my trackers are actually ….very loose

The short answer is that my memory of those times is very distorted because of, y know , drugs

The longer answer includes that I picked my dates as dates when I made a conscious decision that I wanted to quit.

My fentanyl date: September 27, 2019

I came home from a camping trip with my family. Because I was in the woods sleeping in a tent with them all weekend, I couldn’t bring my drugs. And I was gonna be in withdrawal

But I had saved a few suboxone from my last detox clinic and I used them over the weekend to keep the pain manageable (suboxone is used for opiate withdrawal so I had been prescribed it off and on for years)

When I got home I still had a small bag left of fentanyl.

I decided….i wasn’t going to buy anymore

And over the next few days I used what was left, all the way down to desperately licking the bag and smoking burnt tin foil, trying to wean myself so my withdrawal symptoms weren’t as bad

And then I ran out. And I stopped. And now im 4 years clean from it

Very similar story with my meth date: April 1st 2023

I still had a little bit of meth left but that was the day I said I didn’t want to get anymore. And when it was gone, it was gone. And now it’s been over a year

[realcuntsofsuburbia]

I’ve been seeing some Trikey fanarts and many fanfics, which makes me very intrigued to post Trikey headcanons as my first post on here <33

🤍sweet/angst headcanons🤍

- They don’t really do romantic shit because it’s literally Trevor and Michael. But they will do little things like help each other cook and stuff! ya know the little things :)

-Trevor don’t really like movies like that but if Michael wants to watch a couple of movies just so Trevor can be in his presence!

-They have matching small tattoos of their initials (T has Mikey initials and Mikey has T’s)!

-Micheal barely lets Trevor drive. You never if you’re gonna end up in a ditch driving with a psychotic meth head ^-^ but there are times where T does a little persuading ;)

- Trevor always likes to be between Michael’s thighs! they make him feel secure tbh! Michael always bitches about it but deep down he loves it~

-Michael has to drag Trevor out the bed just so T can drive with Michael to the movie studio, and Trevor always curses out Michael when he sees a cigarette in his hand!

-sometimes michael gets insecure when he sees his beer belly and junk food belly in the mirror but Trevor doesn’t give a shit about it! he actually wishes he could crawl inside mikey’s body and just live in there to be close to him <3 (he’s fucked up in the head but sweet…let him be)

-Most nights Michael wakes up in the middle of the night sweating because of his reoccurring nightmares he have about losing everything he had, but he always calm down when he feels those familiar rough tattooed hands he love so much…

-There were times where Trevor would be so scared that michael would leave him again to where he constantly relied on drugs to take the pain away…he almost died once…

-When they’re at Trevor’s trailer, they would usually go around on four wheelers around the town to spend time with each other and definitely not to see who can go the fastest and who can handle the bumpiest roads! Michael not really used to riding since it’s been FOREVER since he last rode one, so T had to teach him a little!

🌶️ spice headcanons🌶️

-As you know, Trevor is Trevor ya know? so he’s not all into being submissive and all, he loves to have power ya know? it just seems like him! but there are times where he would let michael treat him so kind during sex!

-Michael likes to do it in normal positions! (ex: Missionary, Doggystyle, and etc.) but trevor on the other hand…he loves any position where he can see michael face and bend him into a pretzel or something! he loves to see mikey’s face especially when they both cum at the same time and that alone makes him cum!

-i wouldn’t say they’re not really into BDSM but they are lights into it, not heavy! Far as they’ll go is like docking, spanking, domination, and so on!

-There was this one time they were at a restaurant to celebrate Michael’s new movie that came out, and trevor saw the way michael tits popped out his suit and he just HAD to fuck him in the stall~ we’re not gonna talking about how the waiter who served them heard the whole thing go down <3

-They know they can’t get pregnant! but that don’t stop trevor from cumming in Michael tight ass, i mean can you blame him!?? He loves the feeling of the way mikey tightens around him when they both cum! Michael always moan about how it’s dirty and it’s such a pain in the ass to clean, but he’ll never trevor that he fucking loves it because Trevor will NEVER let him live down to it.

- Trevor likes to just randomly pull Michael pants down to eat his ass and it happens frequently so michael don’t really jump when he feels the tongue on his rim, Michael just sits there and take it like a good boy!

-They both like to get each other off than their selves, but to be honest, they both love receiving more! Let’s be real

-There a times where they would fuck first thing in the morning! They usually do the 69 position since they both can get off!

-He may not show it but, Michael L♥️VES and i mean fuckîng loves when trevor chokes him~ he finds it so arousing knowing he could be killed right then and there by his lover~ He thinks trevor doesn’t know it turn him on, but trevor knew it from the fucking starts! (One time it got outta hand and mikey passed out, therefore he cussed T out and then they went round 3 <3)

-Now if you were to be walking by Trevor’s bedroom window or something, you’d most likely hear banging and heavy grunts (maybe some whimpers) or you’d hear a little bit of ‘You love taking my dick ‘T’s like you were made for me~’

-And like I said Trevor loves Michael thighs ya know! They’re meaty and stuff and of course they make T feel secure! but T loves to mark Mikey thighs up when they fuck and he does it over and over again and very time and T never gets sick of it, but ofc Michael bitches about it but he secretly loves it! but he’ll never tell T cause he’ll never live down to it

That’s all for today loves <3! I would love to hear your own headcannons :)

[jadipose]

I’d probably keep doing it, vague posting I mean. To me, kink stuff like this is some pretty honest to our feelings and fun with ourselves and others stuff. I think being a kink friend there’s a gap that’s already closed due to knowing something sorta close to your heart like this stuff, even for if it’s for fun, so I think it’s more about talking to them about your relationship now.

And, I don’t really do kink outside of this kinda stuff even with others, so if I was in your position? Yeah, I’d get a little nervous, but I don’t really know, sorry.

This is all just me though. Sorry if this isn’t helpful, but I wish you good luck, seriously. :)

ugh this message is actually so+ nice thank yo+u??? yeah I'm just. I'm kinda scared abo+ut getting sho+t do+wn. Like. She's so+ carefree, so+ easygo+ing, I feel bad abo+ut putting this o+n her and asking her to+ co+mmit to+ so+mething. Ykno+w?

No+t that co+mmittment is the same as exclusivity, o+bvio+usly I wo+uldn't expect her to+ sto+p do+ing kink o+r talking to+ o+ther ppl... but. like I want mo+re idk.

[corpsegold]

13/5/23

I feel less pressure to count calories, or obsess about losing weight, or about alcohol, or spend all day gaming, or try to have marathon sex with random men. All I have to do is be present with the truth about how my head works. I don't need to run from it 24/7. I’m beginning to notice patterns in what my drinking triggers are as a result of sitting with myself in my head for once. It sounds really dramatic and stupid but it's for some reason totally overwhelming sometimes and it's why I’ve been having a giant breakdown practically my entire life lmao so I don't really know lol

What I thought my triggers were:

Social anxiety: thought I was self medicating autism.

Sensory problems: particularly eating noises and tactile things. Humidity and sweat cost too much processing power whilst sober.

Depression: I thought I was drinking to get myself out of bed.

Paranoia: There were times where, being convinced that there were cameras in my room and there is a cult of HIV fetishists remotely filming and laughing about me, I drank to stop being so uncomfortable. Sometimes you just want to relax in private and not feel like you're performing when there's no one there. There are times where I can't even pick my nose in private because I think I’m on camera. It’s because I got roofied and threatened with rape a couple years ago by some meth heads who I stupidly thought I could trust. I’d known them for a year or so at that point. They were covertly filming and tormenting/harassing me whilst I was psychotic and completely incapacitated in a spare room. Hours later after getting my phone back, I managed to leave and found and held the camera in my hands. He stood at the top of the stairs and said “Oh you found it, now you know how to do it!” When I brought it up with other people in the scene, they acted like they already knew exactly what I was talking about, and were not surprised or bothered at all. It turns out it's just a normal part of what they do, and I’ve probably been on camera far more than I realized. There are all sorts of related memories and experiences to this but I don't want to go through them. Now, whenever I become paranoid or take stimulants, I go straight back to this kind of thinking. When I was 19 and going to foundation year for art in Canterbury, I used to think there were miniature people with invisible needles hiding everywhere who would kill me, but alcohol calmed that idea down, so I would wake up and make a cocktail on days where I would have to leave the house. It was just a flight of fancy though, nothing I was really actually bothered by as far as I can remember. I didn't really believe it, it was just an uncomfortable idea that I thought was optional because of alcohol.

What I’ve determined my actual triggers are (so far):

Getting agitated for some reason. Whether because of caffeine or drugs, or just a really good bit of music and then beginning to run around in my head for days about angels and demons. Alcohol calms it down and stops me feeling like I could become psychotic.

Camera & cult related paranoia as above, although infrequently leading to drink. Paranoia comes in waves, over the course of months.

Being bored. Not moving around enough. Not having things to do or places to go. 

Not having people to see and wanting to scratch that social itch. Alcohol makes me feel less pathetic when I go out to a bar on my own.

Socializing with someone I want to like me and being scared of being a total loser freak, all awkward and stuff. This is usually just predrinking. Ideally I would be just drunk enough to seem confident, but not noticeably intoxicated.

Hating myself and wanting to die, or feeling like I deserve to die, or that it is my destiny to die (whether that's an alcoholic death or just suicide). I drink sometimes to numb out suicidality. The kind of suicidality I get when I’m actually depressed doesn't cause me to drink. I spend too much time in bed and asleep, and alcohol would just make me even worse.

I don't know if how I feel recently is because I’m on lamotrigine or if I’m suicidal bc I’ve realized that I have a personality disorder. I think right now that my mood is actually fine. I mostly feel like I should die just because it would be the right thing to do and because realistically and rationally I will probably never live the life I need myself to live. It sounds really depressing but I’m not actually depressed about it. It’s just causing me to act and feel very erratically because it's the most stressful realization I may ever have in my life, bar like, a diagnosis of a fatal disease. (Alcoholism doesn't count because I did it to myself so it fits with my fantasy or controlling my destiny but if I got dx with cancer I would probably end up going totally bonkers lol)

Being unable to cope with failure. This is probably the biggest of all. I can't manage hobbies because I can’t cope with not being the best at something. It makes me despair and I totally hate myself. I can't draw or paint or try to learn anything because I get obsessed with the idea of being totally brilliant at it and not actually with the process of doing it or improving at it. As soon as I get negative feedback in any way I feel completely crushed and give up. I need constant praise and gassing up, but one criticism will send me back to bed. Alcohol is a hobby where the only result is failure and destruction, so it's safer. I can reassure myself that I have a disease and I’m simultaneously in control and destroying my own life and that no one else can, but also that I’m not responsible for any of my failures, shitty relationships or behaviour. It’s literally just a band aid for my fucked up personality. I can pretend that its the cure and the cause, when really its just a veneer. Its easier for me to pretend I’m not a narc when no one else can tell because there are other things that overlap with the behaviour- such as autism and alcoholism. Being an alcoholic also allows me to force people to acknowledge that I’m in some kind of pain, and it means I have a narrative that explains me ripping through their lives as well. Being an alcoholic is kind of a way to punish my parents LOL. It’s a really stupid strategy. Buddha said that holding on to anger is like drinking a poison and expecting the other person to die. How hilarious is that

So tl;dr, I became an alcoholic because It’s hard to be at work or around people sober- not because I’m anxious or depressed, but because I can’t handle negative feedback about myself whatsoever, and my social skills suck so there’s a lot of it. In other words, when I fill some void with hot air and my ego inflates too much and then it gets threatened or popped, I can’t cope. I have to protect it at all costs otherwise I will die.

I’m basically humpty dumpty, and I’ve been lying on the floor for years with a giant smashed head. People walk past asking me why I act like I’ve forgotten how to walk, like I’m so scared of standing  up, or that I’m depressive and have no ambition or motivation as my mum says. Or that I’m never doing enough and am only ever disappointing my mum according to my step dad. The truth is that I never wanted to walk in the first place. I needed to outrun everyone, so I’m doomed to stack it over and over and smash my face on the floor. I cant shoot the arrow high enough. It goes straight up and comes back down and lands in my eye. Chug more anaesthesia

[smolpinklady]

3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care?

16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?

12. Has a neighbour ever seen you naked? Did you like it?

10. Do you have sex dreams? If yes, when was the last one?

35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling?

49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear?

55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?

31. What’s the best orgasm you’ve had in the past few months?

53. What dirty talk actually turns you on? Is there anything that makes you cringe?

91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool?   

101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare? 

58. Do you have any recurring fantasies you keep coming back to? Do you think they’ll ever happen?

3. If they’re into heavy drugs like meth or heroin or addicted to pills I wouldn’t date them/involve myself with them at all, if all it was was that they were curious about the drug and tried it once that’s not a big deal to me

16. Sunny

12. lol no and no

10. Not really tbh, my dreams don’t make sense at all, it’s literally just a mash up of memories inside your brain

35. If it’s happy and healthy, a relationship. Women don’t benefit from hook ups the same way men do, I wish more people understood this.

49. My supervisor said some slick shit but I know she’s just ignorant so I ignore it

55. Of course

31. Past five months? I give myself the best orgasms lol

53. Being called a good girl turns me on a lot. I feel like it’s super cringe if a guy calls me a bad girl, gives me the ick lol

91. Pool

101. Yes, a couple of times (praying this bartender guy didn’t knock me up and the plan B worked lmao)

58. Idk what context you mean with fantasy

[kaypeace21]

Hopper & lonnie (anon)

Tw: ab*se /dr*gs

So I’ve been reading your theories about Hopper being an interject alter who is going to figure it out after his “death” after season three. I really love it, I think it fits so well. But I was wondering something. 

Why does Will view Hopper, in particular, as someone who could protect him? 

If it was just about being an authority figure, he could have chosen any other cop. And I’m not sure it was about Hopper as a person either, because until the events, it’s implied he and Joyce aren’t close anymore. They had something in high school but Hopper moved away years ago and is kind of an outside observer in her life now, up until Will vanishes. 

So why Hopper? Why would Will attach so strongly to him? 

Then I noticed the time frame. I’m not a hundred per cent sure, but I think Hopper returns to Hawkins the year before, or maybe the same year, Lonnie leaves. Which makes a lot of sense.

Back in episode two, Hopper tells the woman he’s with how sleepy Hawkins is. There hasn’t been a murder since 1923 or a su*cide since 1969. And people keep making a big deal of how he’s “a big city cop” and “things like that don’t happen in Hawkins”. It’s implied that Hopper is used to seeing darker crimes, and would recognize them if they were happening on his patch. And then shortly after he arrives in town Lonnie - a bully who relished controlling his family and loved to freeload off Joyce’s hard work - packs up and leaves for a more anonymous life in the city. It’s deeply suspicious. Why would he do that? What was he afraid of? 

I think he was afraid Hopper would discover the depths of his abuse of Will. 

I don’t think Hopper actually did find any evidence of that before he left, or ran him out of town or anything. Hopper seems to view Lonnie as a deadbeat, but he still wants to call him, even after Joyce tells him about the verbal abuse Lonnie used to give Will, and we see Hopper look discomfited. But he still pushes the Lonnie thing and wants to get him involved in Will’s disappearance, like he would any other dad, so I don’t think he has any idea of the truth.

What I think might have happened was that Hopper caught Lonnie in some minor crime, and pulled him to rights on it in front of Will. It could have been anything. Maybe Lonnie was drunk and mouthing off and Hopper physically restrained him. Maybe the family were going hungry to pay his debts and Hopper intervened. We don’t know. But I think there was something, and Hopper was very much the “bigger guy” in the situation. The alpha male. And for Will, it was the first time he’d seen his dad defeated like that.

And then shortly afterwards, Lonnie left. And in Will’s little kid mind, the two things HAD to be connected. Hopper scared Lonnie away! I wouldn’t be surprised if Hopper spooked Lonnie. Maybe he got in his face and said something like “I know guys like you” or “What else are you up to, out here in the woods? What else are you hiding, huh?” And Hopper is thinking meth cooking or something, but Lonnie’s mind goes to darker places and wonders how much he might really know. 

When Will first sees the Demogorgon it’s as a faceless man in the woods. And he runs home and tries to call the police. Maybe he thinks it’s Lonnie or his friends and is hoping Hopper will save him again.

I just think something must have happened to make Will have such trust in Hopper as a protector, even if Hopper himself is unaware of it. I hope we get to see the flashback, and young Will forming that idea. Maybe as Hopper is wandering around the death scape figuring out what he really is, this memory will come to him as a flashback and he’ll be confused. Maybe he / the audience will misinterpret it as being about “protecting Joyce” . But we’ll see Will right there and join the dots. 

Side note: I wonder if Lonnie really was cooking meth? PCP / biker meth was big among poor communities in the Eighties, and it’s a scary drug. It causes hallucinations and increases aggression. It might have made Lonnie into more of a monster when he was on it, and if he gave it to Will to get some sick kick out of seeing a kid on drugs, the hallucinogen might have been what unlocked Will’s powers. The blurring of reality and nightmares. I have no real evidence for this except the historical context, but it would explain a lot. 

——–

Response (kaypeace21):

Tw: dr*gs/ ab*se

This actually makes a lot of sense on why Lonnie may have left and hates Hopper . He would be getting in the way of his “dr*g business” and other sick activities. Lonnie’s gf even has a biker shirt from Harley davidson- with the eagle logo and their saying “live to ride’. Which would imply lonnie is also in such biker circles. Harley davidson in the 80s had dr*g gangs too.

* the whole convo of Cynthia replacing 50 something Lonnie for a “younger model”. Is foreshadowing of Lonnie doing that to her. He replaced Joyce with a gal in her 20s. And will prob pick another young girl to use in s4/5. Like the movies hint his next gf is about Jonathan’s age-ick. They also called it “bathtub cr*nk” which is sketchy given the bathtub is what Will/mf fears and how the sensory deprivation tank is later called a tub by el . Becky even said he would get terry high and throw her in the tank/tub.

And s4 movies have quite a few biker gangs . Also would make the fact in s2 Will was forcibly injected with a needle more sinister. We see on the TV in s2 punkie brooster says they had a nightmare of having a needle forced into their arm - similar to Will

 And in s2 Billy (aka William) was injected in the neck and threatened with a bat. And in s3 robin and Steve were injected in the neck and got high. I thought hopper being in a upsidedown reflection of a spoon was more of a matrix DID ref. But there could be more to it. Like you mentioned such things were cooked in spoons. It would also explain Lonnie’s “debts”.

And yeah in the st books brenner gave the subjects drugs which activated/strengthened their powers yikes . Yikes . Yikes

update- WAIT!

“One reason m*th is so prevalent in rural areas is that it can be formulated, or “cooked,” by small producers and one of the ingredients is readily found on most farms – anhydrous ammonia fertilizer. Both farmers and chemical suppliers have experienced thefts of anhydrous particularly in the Midwest.“

WHICH REMINDS ME OF the FLAYED EATING FERTILIZER AND CHEMICALS IN S3 OMG. Nancy even says farmers/chem suppliers  are having fertilizer stolen omg! And she later thinks flayed tom was on drugs- “Nancy drew and the case of the missing fertilizer”. 

EVEN Nancy’s proof Tom is on dr*gs is a symptom of m*th use or withdrawl from it-excessive sweating (like all the flayed in s2-3). M*th causes hyperthermia (body is at a higher temp than usual)-so they like it cold!!!!! ahhhhh. Even clammy hands that she mentioned is a symptom of m*th use. in children it can even cause seizures- like Will :(

It also does take some chemisty knowledge to COVERT various substances (including fertilizer and other chemicals) to make m*th- which reminds me of the kids saying they can convert one substance into another (when referencing why the possessed are eating chemicals). I CRACKED THE CODE!!!!!!!!!!

when m*th is made via soil it first is made into a highly corrosive liquid which is sometimes green-like the Russian lab.

“six pounds of toxic waste is created for every pound of m*th manufactured. The waste is often dumped on farms, in rivers and and is harmful to the environment.” Like all the chemical leaks relating to Hawkins lab/mf that affected crops in s2/this pic of water in s3.

[mde1011]

when i got into the dsmp i started a note and wrote down any quotes or moments i thought were funny, and im bored at 3 am so enjoy some of them

how is being arrested real? just walk away!!!”

⁃ “once an american always an american. go...go protests masks...or something”

⁃ “...yEAH BUT DID YOU HAVE WAP” “what’s...whats wap?” “...WORSHIP AND PRAYER”

⁃ “HOW DO YOU LIKE POLITICS MOTHERFUCKER”

⁃ “i’m naked” “...no you’re not” “i can be...”

⁃ “uhhhh i’m in a high stress situation....i deal with these poorly”

⁃ “i should go first i’m naked”

⁃ “yEAHHHH WE KILLED AN OLD MAN WITH HEART PROBLEMS”

⁃ “what are you going to do?” “i...have no idea i think i’m gonna start out by punching a tree”

⁃ “tOmmy...did i just hear you say shit ass looking mofo?”

⁃ “i aM gOinG to gEt nAkeD to iNtiMidAtE HiM”

- “...i want freedom !” “you want BALLS.”

⁃ “...down the line. yeah that’s where we discover the art of cannibalism” “oh it’s an art?” “it’s an art”

⁃ “oh there’s some logs here. wonder what they’re saying to me. uh huh. uh huh. oh yeah that’s very racist” “tommy you gotta burn those logs.” “burn ‘em before they spread their racism to other logs”

⁃ “are you pooing?” “*whisper* i’m charging up-““ “he’s ejaculating on the tent.” “he’s WHAT?”

⁃ “he’s sPEEDING. LOOK HOW FAST HES GOING” “i’ve taken so many drugs. someone tell badboyhalo”

⁃ “we should make a pact. and that pact is, uh, we make a book...and in that book...we declare that saying ‘muffin’ is a, is a slur”

⁃ “i was thinking what if one day your bladder just,,,,stopped working.....AGGGFFFFF i was tHINKING ABOUT THAT THE OTHER DAY IVE GOT TO PREPARE IVE GOT YO PREPARE thisiswhydiapersaintthatbad”

⁃ <sapnap> i think i was ordered to um

<tommyinnit> boobed

<sapnap> kill you

<tommyinnit> boobs

<sapnap> if this happens

<tommyinnit> think about boobs man

<sapnap> tsk tsk tommy

<tommyinnit> iM DISGRUNTLED

⁃ “why is this deadman so good at making drugs”

⁃ “i just learnt that a girl hero is called a heroine and it freaked me out”

⁃ “memento memento me-“ “that’s actually the worst word i know so you can’t keep saying that” “oh, really.....? have you ever heard the term ‘racist’?”

⁃ “the person who invented the phrase ‘be yourself’ hadn’t met you!”

⁃ “you seem like the type of guy whose dad would throw him overboard as a joke but he would just drown”

⁃ “shout out to dream for twerking!”

⁃ “let’s talk......let’s talk about sex” “wonderful. what do you think about sex, lazarbeam?” “i ain’t saying SHIT in front of a sixteen year old”

⁃ “what the- i think i’m seeing things” “....tommy i told you not to drink the sea water” “well i DID drink the sea water because it TOLD ME TO”

⁃ “it’s like the movie when that guy gets stranded on an island and has sex with a coconut” “whAT?? dream- dream, you vastly misinterpreted this” “it one hundred percent does”

⁃ “oh mastICATE.....isn’t that when a fish turns inside out?”

⁃ “what are some bad words YOU know, clay?” “i don’t-“ “what about ‘terrorist’?”

⁃ “my mind has to be on the same frequency as jesus when he walked on water”

⁃ “you wanna know why i was late?” “no i really do-“ “i was having a MASSIVE poo. really just a HUGE poo”

⁃ “jUST CUZ YOU TALK ABOUT POO ONCE AND THEN YOU SEE A BIG GREEN BASTARD AMD YOUR LIFE IS FLASHING BEFORE YOUR EYES AND THEN YOU CANT REMEMBER- YOU CANT REMEMBER IF IT WAS YESTERDAY OR TOMORROW YOU HURT THAT WOMAN”

⁃ “i love america. mmmmm patriotism

⁃ “LIFE IS NOT A HAPPY SONG KERMIT THE FROG”

⁃ “please stop taking the cock”

⁃ “two four six eight who do we appreciate? not the government let’s gooooooo”

⁃ “oooo look at the dogs😍” “wHAAAAAT. WHAT. THERES ACTUALLY LIKE. A MILLION DOGS HERE. WHAT THE HELL.”

⁃ “yeahhhhh bitch i stab- i don’t stab women-“ “woooooooah tommy you stab women?” “heyyyy sapnap”

⁃ “do you know what happens whne you reach the top of the ladder? there’s only one place to go.” “.....side to side😨” “down.” “...i really thought you were gonna say side to side🥺”

⁃ “one last time.” “just like in hamilton😓”

⁃ “you don’t know how many times i’ve mistaken trees for hot women”

⁃ “ i don’t feel better i just destroyed penis”

⁃ “i’ve never seen a snail with bad morals”

⁃ “awwwwwwww😢 i’m doin’ drugs🤧 just like the good ol’ days😓” “.....define the ‘good old days’” “back when i did drugs”

⁃ “have you ever fought a baby? i have and it was trivially easy to defeat, phil.”

⁃ “the only other i egg i know about was the one i learnt about in school....not allowed to say which one....”

⁃ “did you know one of my new years resolutions is to be more like 2010 justin bieber?”

⁃ “apparently cats don’t lay eggs”

⁃ “thinking about trees- if i saw a tree with a beard mmmmmm...holy shit id hit it”

⁃ “we’re in hell dude. science doesn’t matter here”

⁃ “i cant die i cant die i’m GOD”

⁃ “hey pig your letter is the same as pussy, hmm?”

⁃ “are we cool are we COOL guys? CRYSTAL COOL like CRYSTAL METH”

⁃ “he- he’s crying because - because i killed his mother isn’t that right? mother dearest mother deadest mother gonest”

⁃ “bro ive been drinking since i was six and let me tell you...it’s not good to be drinking that young. led to some poor life decisions when i was 8” “what did you do” “i cant say” “...who did you hurt” “....only myself”

⁃ “je suis” “ay i know what that mean you prick” “what does it mean” “it means you’re racist dickhead”

⁃ “i’d never poo in the presence of a women- which is why i’m scared to get a girlfriend i think i’d just explode”

⁃ “biff tannen is one of my idols”

⁃ “black widow died and i thought ‘wow it should’ve been the man’ because he’s a man”

⁃ “there’s a character called captain america and i think he’s stupid”

⁃ “i’m a GOOD LAD i’ve got GOOD MORALS and if i’ve DONE SOMETHING WRONG it WASNT MY FAULT I JUST GOT A LITTLE EXCITED”

⁃ “sam....what’s the longest you’ve ever wiped your arse? for me it’s 48 minutes”

⁃ “why are you standing in the shitter?” “....that’s a SINK” “uhhh welllll” “hAVE YOU SHAT IN THE SINK?????”

⁃ “you’re like a living ghost” “...i think that’s called a human, tubbo”

⁃ “maybe i accidentally kill ranboo and we just never see him again *laughs* ay? and then i go ‘april foooools!!!’ and then i kill their child. i kill him”

⁃ “you built a penis” “it’s a PENIS OF SAFETY”

⁃ “i saw the penis of safety and i pressed mouse button four my friend”

⁃ “the penis on the other side of the river is larger” “ive heard that before....”

⁃ “you’ve turned the penis into a wall” “a wall of safety is better than a penis of safety” “i think the penis was better”

⁃ “if you wanna make a penis i know where we can make a penis and i know how big we can make it”

⁃ “i don’t conceptualize death but i think i just saw it!”

⁃ “yeah i- yeah i know i’m- my first impression on eret was making him read a shrek fan fiction so- i’m not one for first impressions”

⁃ “i-i’m scared for him- i’m scared OF him. yknow the first thing he did when he saw me was imMEDIATELY strip down then jump off then immediately die?”

⁃ “where are you?” “getting stabbed, one second”

⁃ “you’ve seen the joker?” “yea-“ “i resonate a lot with that man” “...oH. oh. that’s- that’s not-“

⁃ “he bURNT DOWN MY HOUSE” “out of LOVE”

⁃ “ohhhh my god stop making me play with the neighbor kid” “o-okay if you don’t go play with him i’m kicking you out of the house-“ “wHAT THE FUCK???”

⁃ “there’s a STRIP CLUB” “oh yeah for wood!” “are you into strippers?” “i mean all it does is make the wood look different so....yeah it doesn’t really do much”

⁃ “no no we have categories, we have the poo-saster- you might have to take a shower after-“ “no, no i’m gonna stop you right there”

⁃ “as i was saying you can have a 1-to-3 wiper, that’s an A-tier poo, my friend”

⁃ “i want you to eat your sock”

⁃ “you know i’m a child- i’m a minor” “sO AM I DICKHEAD”

⁃ “everyone is calling you dresus” “yeah i am”

⁃ “ayyyy ayyyy los DROGAS LOS DROGAS” “no no big q- she’s thirteen- how does this happen with every 13 year old girl you meet?”

⁃ “my poo has muscles like i do”

⁃ “i cant hear the words among us without crying they’ll say there are aliens among us and in the back youll just hear me *choking noises*”

⁃ “tubbo...tubbo is like...tubbo is like mary” “.....did you just call me the Virgin Mary?”

⁃ “i’m just saying, have you ever seen me and jesus in the same room?”

⁃ “do you smoke sam” “all the time”

⁃ “i thought you were talking about the- the speeeeed drug”

⁃ “have you ever sold drugs to kids sam?” “......no”

⁃ “we can’t let the girlboss rule because she will gatekeepe my feelings” “that would not be good”

⁃ “THEY DIDNT INVITE ME TO KILL ME???? NOW I HAVE FOMO”

⁃ “you have obviously taken part in scientology-“ “i have not-“ “you’ve donated to tom cruises cult shit”

⁃ “....am i worse than david dobrik?” “are- are we worse than david dobrik?” “oh- oh god”

⁃ “he has broke one of the rules of the hit best seller ‘the bible’- this kind of looks like a cock”

⁃ “well i’ve moved now, KING”

⁃ “what is an angsty teen and am i one? because when i USED to hang out with my friends they use the word angst a lot”

⁃ “yeah yeah yeah i bench”

⁃ “sam i think i’m angsty i think i’m an angsty tik tok teen looking for a community to help me out”

⁃ “i don’t think you’ve followed the train of logic all the way-“ “there’s a TRAIN INVOLVED????????”

⁃ “i’m like the orange fucker from that animated rom com”

⁃ “i’m under the influence of big cock”

⁃ “it’s meeee big cock man”

⁃ “i cant look away” “sam please use your twitter alt for this” “he’s horny on maaaainnnnn” “and what’s wrong with that?” “.......”

⁃ “you’re a FUCKING IDIOT” “IM NOT A FUCKING IDIOT, BIG COCK”

⁃ “i’m gonna call you ‘cockity’ big cock” “sHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP-“

⁃ “STOP LOOKING AT IT” “ITS SO VIBRANT”

⁃ “at least this guy doesn’t have a cock-“ “itS NOT A COCK” “horny on main jesus-“

⁃ “is that a cock” “SHUT THE FUCK UP”

⁃ “.....i wanna see the inside of it again do a split”

⁃ “okay sam-“ “tommy that guy wants your cock-“ “no- no he doesn’t sam”

⁃ “sam, sam and i need you to hear this....dont. act. up.” “i don’t act up-“ “you were acting up-“ “i-“ “you were caught in 8k.” “but- but we both agree it’s not a tie-“

⁃ “please don’t tell me to kill cockity i am overwhelmed”

⁃ “why is there an anus in my tie?”

⁃ “what are the legal implications of this?” “...i mean besides hell you’re good”

⁃ “whatre the legal implications?” “i mean usually that’s a no-no but today, today it’s fine” “yeahhh lets go murder his family”

⁃ “i’d be an antivax landlord”

⁃ “jesus never does drugs” “well- well you turned water into wine king and wine is alcohol”

⁃ “can you put on pants i can’t- i cant stop looking at it- sorry tommy i know you said-“ “yeah sam i know you tried-“

⁃ “you know i fuck with satan”

⁃ “i’m sorry jesus lucifer is just such a good man-“ “oh you- hold me BACK FROM THIS FUCKER HOLD ME BACK ILL SEND HIM TO HELL YOU LIKE HELL-“

⁃ “are you jesus or just a man who grew a beard and put on a suit?”

⁃ “even the guy with his cock out is telling you to stop-“ “oh jesus, and i mean jesus-“ “shUT THE FUCK UP MAN”

⁃ “the best best way to slander him is to stop his offspring; we need to kick him the balls.....no? not a good....? alright us four each take a ball-“

⁃ “......why did jesus give him four scrotums man🙁🙁”

[pepprs]

ok so…. i know all i have been doing is posting about moving for the last few days but i have another moving post. i don’t think im moving tomorrow or Thursday or friday or Saturday or even Sunday. i think I am moving Monday and i would like to formally request advice from my beloved mutuals on tumblr dot com (no pressure though) about whether or not i should set that into stone because the situation is complicated and still up in the air. it is literally FIVE DAYS it doesn’t even matter but it feels so big to me. lots of stuff under the cut

so basially the reason i would be moving on monday instead of just waiting another day is bc on thursday my dad is driving 8 hours to clean out his childhood home w his siblings bc my grandma died in sept and they’re selling the house 🤪✌️ and he will be gone until sunday (though im worried something will h*ppen either like. S*mething B*d or just that it’ll take them too long for him to make it home by Sunday). so my mom and sister are freaking out abt him being exposed to covid and being away from home where they can’t take care of him and stuff and if i go before he goes they will be even more worried bc they’ll have to worry abt me on top of him. plus my mom is very skittish abt covid so if i were to move back on like friday or something she wouldn’t be able to help me bring all my bags and stuff from the car to the door of the building. so yeah it’s kinda dumb but even still i personally am hesitating bc when my dad went to the memorial service in oct we were all basket cases and it’s gonna be worse this time bc he’ll be there for longer and rates are higher and stuff. and i remmeber how scared we all were and how much we cried and i don’t wanna put my family thru that and honestly? if something were to h*ppen to him god forbid? i wouldn’t be able to come home to be with my family bc my mom would freak out abt covid stuff. so there’s all that.

now for moving to campus… i am scared of covid and im scared of my roommates. those two things are always gonna be things im up against regardless of when i go back so beating myself up over delaying encountering them an extra 5 days is kinda ridiculous but i am scared to go back and im worried that deciding to stay is just feeding into my fears. also those of u who were here before august 2021 May Remember that i wanted to get out of this house with a vengeance and well… i think this time during the month and a half almost ive been here.. things have been better. my mom actually told me yesterday she has been making an effort to be better and ive noticed it and while things are still… pretty not great in some areas i do think things between us are better than they were last year. so things have not been that bad and honestly.. it’s not gonna sound like me but. i actually am not really in a hurry to go back to my life there. like all of a sudden i am perfectly content with being in a bubble where im safe and can be loud and wild and cozy and all of that. idk. but am i just saying that bc im scared of going back to growing my wings??????

anyways epic and sexy pros and cons list time

————————

IF I MOVED TOMORROW:

PROS: not missing anything at work, getting extra time with my colleague-besties who i adore very much especially on friday when everyone is in the office, having a decent and consistent space to do class and work from sooner, having more freedom with my habits sooner

CONS: being away from my family during a hard time, being in pain and causing them pain on top of pain that we know is going to happen this week, making them feel like my chosen family > my blood family for the 8364397448th time (it actually kinda is > though lawl), getting up early to finish packing bc today has been insane and im like 30% done but i still have to write 2 discussion posts by noon and im supposed to be moved in by 11 💔

IF I MOVED ON MONDAY:

PROS: being with my family during a hard time, not adding extra pain onto pain that will already be happening this week, proving that i do actually love / care abt them when i feel like they don’t think so, having more time to pack. also important to note is that i have a 10am on Friday that is in person and while it ends at 12 my brother is in class until 2:30. so i would get to go to my room and/or hang out in the office or do whatever.. i just can’t take off my mask to eat when im inside buildings / around other ppl. (if i was not coming home i would go back to doing what i was doing in the fall even though i will be more scared now bc of omicron: eating in private rooms (e.g. my bedroom, the 1-person private satellite office) and occasionally in the office with no more than 2 other ppl there at a time who are masked while im doing it. and eating in the office = pulling down my mask just long enough to get the food in my mouth not taking it off entirely the entire time i eat btw). also.. not to say this but not having to be quiet on my calls / meetings in order to respect my roommates who don’t like loud noises LOL

CONS: missing out on independent time i want and am paying for, bothering my roommates / RA by giving them a heads up that i am moving in later than expected for a THIRD time in the last 48 hours, missing banter / interesting moments in the office with my colleague-besties, having to go outside in the freezing cold to eat if im hungry, having to leave in the middle of a conversation when i really don’t want to go, feeding into my anxiety about going back to living independently, possibly disappointing friends who know im giving in to my family’s needs over my own when that is dangerous for me lawl 🤪

————

so yeah idk. pros and cons lists are hard bc there’s not an easy way to assign a weight to stuff but…… avoiding causing my family pain is a heavy one. so i am leaning towards that which means it’s basically a guarantee that that is what im doing bc if i wasn’t doing that i would be packing instead of writing this post since i was supposed to be there by 11 tmrrw! but idk i need advice i am overthinking this 🤕

[dreadpoetssociety]

I Just Want My Brother

TW: Kidnapping, Abuse, Death, Drugs, Mentions of blood. 

Prompt: hi! i loved ur reid x sis!reader!! i was wondering if u could do one with reid x teen sis!reader and maybe she was a witness to something or got kidnapped and survived or something so they have to give her a cognitive interview and she refuses to do it unless spence is there or the one asking her the questions

Note: I really liked this request. I feel like I may have gotten off topic a littttttttle bit, but I tried my best! Also, sorry for any grammatical mistakes! 

()()()()()()

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Sister!Reader

Word Count: 3589

You were never really one to defy your elder brother’s rules, given how lenient he was with you, but it was supposed to just be one fun night out with your friends. The night scene that your friends adored was never really your cup of tea due to the horror stories Spencer would come home with. Girls getting kidnapped going on a run, girls being drugged and killed at a party, girls just going missing off the streets never to be found until it was too late, things like that. After a while, he slowly stopped giving you the gory details when he’d noticed the actual effect it had on your own life, whether or not you chose to acknowledge that when begging him to tell you more, but not knowing what was out there did scare you. Especially after stealing one of Spence’s files and looking at the photos that it held.

But, you were feeling daring on this particular night. Your friends finally convinced you to sneak out of the house. Spencer wouldn’t be back from his current job until morning, and even if you did get caught, you were generally a good kid. You bent the rules from time to time, but most high-schoolers you knew were sneaking out regularly, skipping class, doing hard drugs and even getting arrested from time to time. How bad could you be? At least, that was the reasoning your friends put into your head.

So, you thought hey, if you ever have kids, mind as well at least have one cool story to tell them. You didn’t even bother to go through the apartment window, you just walked out the door and met your friends out on the street. It was nearly midnight, but the night had just begun. 

It was hours of going to this person’s house and that person’s apartment, stopping by a random party and making noise in the streets, until finally, your friends made it to a bar. 

“You know,” you laughed a little anxiously, “maybe we shouldn’t. I mean I don’t even have a way of getting in there.”

“Y/N, chill. I know your brother freaks you into obeying the rules, but those things he sees have like a .0001% of actually happening. Like what are the chances really?” your friend, Elliot, smiled at you. 

“Actually, about one out of 300,000 people get kidnapped, which doesn’t seem like a lot, but the actual percentage is-“

“Y/N, we’re fine! Kids do this all the time. Plus, I already paid that Barry kid to make you a fake. Consider it an early birthday gift.” your other friend, Sheila, pulled out her purse and passed you the piece of plastic. Although incredibly concerned, you were impressed by how realistic it was. You sighed. 

“Fine, you’re right.” you laughed, “But there’s no way I’m convincing that bouncer that I’m 21.”

“Confidence is key. Just stroll past him like you know what you’re doing. If you look nervous they’ll know. I swear, Y/N, those dudes can smell fear.” Elliot laughed. The three of you made your way to said club entrance, and although the bouncer did seem suspicious of you, he just let you in anyway. 

The club was loud, there was a band on stage and lasers going throughout the room. Alice and Elliot didn’t hesitate to drag you to the bar first. You’d drank a little before, but you’d never gotten buzzed, let alone completely drunk. It wasn’t really your style, and thankfully, Elliot and Alice respected that. They pressured you to do a lot of things, but not anything like drugs or alcohol. They merely pushed you out of your comfort zone sometimes, and irregardless of whether or not the adults around you thought they were a good influence didn’t matter to you. 

“We’re going to go dance, but we’ll be nearby if you don’t want to join us! Just make sure not to go too far alone, Y/N” Alice stated, knowing you would absolutely not agree to dance with them. You smiled and nodded and the two went off to do their thing within your sight. 

“What can I get you, young lady?” the man at the bar caught you off guard. 

“Oh, uh, maybe just a glass of water?”

“Ah, designated driver I presume?” he laughed.

“Yeah, something like that.” you replied, “Someone’s gotta keep an eye on those two.” you nudged your head towards your two friends who were living it up with some other people in the crowd who you think might’ve been your age, too. You were sort of surprised at how easy it was to get into this club, considering so many of your peers get thrown out of it or get caught. 

The man passed you the water and walked off almost a bit angrily. Understandably, though, because water is free.  You made a note to leave the man a tip later anyway. It was the least you could do. You played with the straw, took a few sips, and watched as your friends danced the night away. 

After a while, though, you began to feel off. Dizzy even, and you couldn’t think clearly. It was a hot summer night in a hot crowded club, the one cup of water you drank all day was right in front of you, so you figured it was the heat. You decided to take a quick trip outside to try and catch some air.

It was when you left the club that it really hit you. The world was turning, and you were barely able to stay awake. 

The club was located in an area that wasn’t super lit other than the one club sign. The bouncers must’ve been in the midst of switching shifts because there wasn’t one outside. 

“Hey young lady, you okay?” a man’s voice was all you could make out of him. You could see him, but you couldn’t, and it didn’t make sense. Someone grabbed you and the world went dark.

()()()()()()

You woke up slowly. You didn’t recognize your surroundings, the walls were concrete and disgusting. The room reeked of something. 

You tried to stand, but something was holding you to the floor. Having looked down, you noticed sort chains attached to both wrists. Your heart sped up, but you didn’t scream.

How the hell. . . you thought. How did they get me here? 

The last thing you could really remember was the water. What was in the water? It was too slow to be ketamine, too fast to be rohypnol. You wondered. Oh my god, gamma hydroxybutyric acid. Or cherry meth. 

You heard someone make a noise and instantly forgot about the debate in your head. Being able to think more clearly, and your eyesight less blurred, you began to take in your surroundings. There were windows in two two of the walls without glass. Taking a look, you noticed three other women in you line of sight. One in the room with you, who was starting to wake up, and two through the left and right windows. Straight ahead was a doorway that showed a room with a table on in the middle.

It was then that you really began to understand what was happening. The exact thing you were afraid of this whole time. Your breath sped up, your heart was nearly coming out of your body, your blood ran cold. 

“Hey,” the girl was awake now, “I’m Charlotte.” you looked at her wide eyed. Here you two were, chained against a wall, she was bruised and bloodied up and down, and she decided that it was appropriate to introduce herself? 

“What’s happening?” you didn’t even think to reply back to her. She could be anyone. She could be the person who took you, acting as your friend. Your paranoid mind raced through multiple scenarios.

“Look, you’ll be fine as long as you listen.”

“Listen? Listen to what? To who? Who took us? What are they-“ 

“You need to calm down.” she whispered, “If they hear you they’ll come. They haven’t been so nice to the noisy ones.”

If anything anybody had never shut you up before, that certainly did. You could feel the fear in every nerve of your body. he other girls around you faced the floor. One was in a party dress, the other in a pan suit. Looking at them, the girls had nothing in common. One had dark hair, the other had her hair dyed a faded blue, and the last was blonde, each with a different eye color and skin tone. You tried your best to think like your brother, but you couldn’t. Unlike him, you weren’t a genius, you were just average.

You heard a door creek open and all the girls instantly looked up. Through the doorway of your room, you saw a masked man walk in. You could almost hear the other girls’ hearts pumping. You watched in terror as he began to step towards you. When he got into the room, though, he turned towards Charlotte, and began unchaining her.

“No, please!” she cried, “Please, I’m sorry.”

“Shut up.” 

Charlotte went quiet. He aggressively picked her up by her arm and dragged her to the table, of which he pinned her down onto and began to strap her in. It wasn’t long before he opened a cabinet out of your view, and pulled out various rusty tools.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” you asked. You didn’t even think out what you were doing. What the hell do you think YOU’RE doing, Y/N? you thought to yourself. Unconsciously, you knew that you can’t profile this guy like Spencer could, you couldn’t talk your way out of this, but you could protect the girls around you. How? By pissing him off. 

“Don’t speak, woman.” he growled.

“What are you going to do about it? Kill me?” he slammed a knife-like tool straight down into the table a millimeter next to Charlotte’s abdomen, “What? Did I hurt your masculinity, big boy?” 

He unstrapped her quickly. You figured what was coming for you next, and it wasn’t long before you were on that table. The leather restraints were on way too tight, there were splinters in your back already from the poorly sanded wooden table, which you figured was on purpose. And all you could do was watch, and scream, as this man did whatever he wanted to you. hitting you, cutting you, seemingly testing out tools you’d never even seen before. The camera on the ceiling told you that he was recording this all to watch later.

And all you could do was scream out your brother’s name.

()()()()()()

You didn’t know how long you were there. Hours, days, weeks, you had no idea. Time didn’t exist down there. Ever since your first encounter with the man, you tried to deter him from the other women around you any time he came around. And fortunately for them but not for you, it worked.

All of the pain and screaming left you numb, but it wasn’t until you saw him get angrier with one of the other girls that you weren’t able to comprehend your situation anymore.

She hadn’t been doing well, the one in the party dress. The color in her skin was drained, making her paler, her eyes sunk. And you watched as the man pulled a knife from his pocket, and stuck it right through her heart. The screams from you and the girls flooded the room, and it was like the air in the building was being sucked out. 

You would never forget it.

()()()()()()

You were asleep when suddenly you heard the door open again and your body began to shake. But it wasn’t the man who came in.

“Reid! I got her!” the sound of Morgan’s voice echoed in your ears. Spencer burst into the room, and while Morgan Prentiss, JJ, and Rossi tended to the other three girls, Reid and Hotch came straight to you.

“Y/N? Oh my god, Y/N, you’re going to be okay. We’re going to get you out of here.” Spencer panicked as he tugged at the chains, “Come on!” 

“Y/N, do you know where the unsub went?” Hotch asked. You looked at him, you understood his words, but all you could manage to say was,

“Liquid cherry.” 

“Y/N?”

“No, cherry E.” you were so distorted, either from the pain, or from the shock.

“Y/N I don’t understand.” Hotch said.

“Liquid cherry?” Reid repeated, “Y/N, do you mean Liquid E?” you nodded.

“Cherry meth.” Hotch confirmed. You don’t even know why you brought it up. It wasn’t important, and although that’s what the man used on you, it wasn’t even relevant at this point.

The rest was a blur. Being free had a different meaning to it for you then. But yet, you were brought into an interrogation room after the ambulance had deemed that you didn’t have any truly hospitalizing injuries, just horrible bruises along with scars that would probably never fade away. You looked down at the table.

Emily Prentiss and JJ sat on the other end of the table. 

“Y/N, we know you’ve been through something traumatic, but that man is still out there. The other two girls aren’t conscious, and you’re the only one who knows what he looks like.” Prentiss explained, “You might not remember, but we if you’re able, we want to do a cognitive interview with you. It might help you remember details you didn’t know you picked up on.” 

“I don’t want to be here alone.” you whispered. JJ sighed sadly for you, “I don’t want to do it unless it’s Spencer.”

“I know, Y/N, but your brother is personally involved now. He can’t work on this case.” she said. In your heart you knew why, and you understood completely. But your mind just didn’t follow, and you shook your head. You looked up, and the color of the room and placement of the mirror seemed to eerily familiar, and the scene switched.

There you were, back on that concrete floor, screaming out for Spencer. All you wanted was for your brother to come save you. You saw the man walking towards you. You screamed louder as he got closer.

You felt someones hands on your shoulders and the scene had changed again. You were breathing heavily, the interrogation chair was on its back, and you were in the corner of the room. Emily and JJ were crouched with concerning eyes in front of you.

“Y/N? It’s us.” 

“I can’t do it.” you sobbed, “Not without him. I won’t.”

Emily and JJ looked at each other and nodded. Emily walked out of the room while JJ sat on the floor with you.

“You’re safe now.”

“He’s still out there he’s not going to stop.” you whispered, “I just want my brother. I just want Spencer.”

She held you tight.

“We won’t let anything happen to you. Spence won’t let anything happen to you.” she reassured. 

It wasn’t long after that Spencer finally entered the room and signaled that it was okay for JJ to leave.

“Y/N,” his voice was soft, and you instantly felt safer in the presence of your brother, “are you sure you can do this?” you nodded in response. As much as it terrified you, you didn’t want that monster hurting any other girls. He was still out there somewhere. Spence helped you up and fixed your chair. You sat across from each other.

“Y/N, I need you to close your eyes.” he said. You did so, “Now think. What’s the weather like before you met the unsub? Was it cloudy, light, dark?”

“It was night. The sky was so clear.” you replied, imagining the time in your mind.

“You’re going out. Who are you with?” he asked.

“Alice and Elliot. Spencer, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have broken the rules.” you cried. Spencer hadn’t even considered the thought of you sneaking out until now, but had decided that it was a talk for another time, if he thought you’d ever be able to handle it.

“Don’t worry about it, Y/N. I’m just glad you’re safe.” he said. With your eyes closed, you couldn’t see the tears pricking your brother’s eyes. He’d seen many tragic things, done some of the most gruesome cognitive interviews, seen the most disgusting and vile actions done by the most heartless of monsters, but none of that beat this. His own sister. He’d watched the tapes that the man had recorded , and his heart sunk every time you screamed out his name, but his anger grew just as much, “Where did you guys go right before you met the unsub?”

“The club on 16th street.” you stated, seeing yourself and your friends right outside the doors, “Alice and Elliot convinced me to go in.”

“What are you doing in there?”

“Alice and Elliot went to dance. I don’t like dancing, so they stay near me while I sit at the bar?” you realized that you talked as if you were presently there.

“Who is around you? Anyone you recognize?” he asked.

“No, I’m alone with the bartender.”

“Is he talking to you?” Spencer questioned. It was then that you recognized something.

“What can I get you, YOUNG LADY?” the bartender’s voice echoed in your mind, and aligned with the man who asked if you were okay outside before you were taken. You realized that the size and stature of the man who had tortured you matched with the bartender. You gasped and opened your eyes quickly. You were visibly distraught, so Spencer grabbed your hand in a quick attempt to comfort you.

“Y/N, are you okay? If it’s too much we can-“

“The bartender, Spencer.” you huffed out, “He said something to me and spoke to me outside after I was drugged.”

“Do you know what he looks like? Or his name?” he asked. Your thoughts were so fragmented now that you couldn’t remember, and a few tears slipped down your face as shook your head, “Do you want to try to keep going? You don’t have to Y/N I don’t want to put you through this again.”

“No!” you yelled, “No, it’s okay. It’s important. I can do this as long as you’re here.” He smiled slightly at how much you trusted him, but it quickly faded.

“The bartender,” he started, “He’s talking with you, what’s he saying?”

“He asks me if I want a drink. Calls me ���young lady.’” you replied, as you saw yourself seated at the bar. The man just looked like a blur to you, and you tried so hard to remember him.

“What’s around him?” Spencer asked. 

“Well drinks, obviously. Alcohol.” 

“What kind?”

“He’s got all kinds of fancy bottles. Jim Beam, Captain Morgan, Patron, Bacardi,” you paused, “The Smirnoff is the same color as his shirt. A red shirt as a bartender. He stands out in an odd way.”

“His shirt, is he wearing anything? A name tag?” 

“He has a lanyard. It’s got pins on it and a picture with his-“ you see his name in big black letters on the end of the lanyard, “Andrew Vaughn. The drug is started to hit me now Spencer I-“

“Hey,” his voice was soft as he quickly got up and hugged you, “you’re safe now. I’ve got you.”

“I’m so sorry!” you sobbed into his shirt, grabbing onto him. He put his head on yours.

“It’s not you’re fault Y/N. You’ve been through something traumatic, you can’t be sorry for it.” he said.

“If I hadn’t gone out like you told me, Spence! And those other girls. The one in the party dress! I watched her die! He just stabbed her and she bled out in agony, Spencer!” you nearly yelled. You almost couldn’t breathe, and your face was wet with the tears.

Spencer’s heart dropped to the pit of his stomach. Reid knew some what of what you were going through. He reminded himself of what it was like when Tobias Hankel, and tried to think of how he wanted people to treat him then when he was freed, and how long it took for him to be okay again. He never really was, and he was afraid that you would never be able to feel safe again, but understood why you wouldn’t. He just wanted to take care of you, and blamed himself for not being there.

Within the next few hours, Hotch had refused to let a very angry Spencer go with the team to the unsub’s house. The BAU, although, successfully brought your kidnapper into custody.

“You don’t have to worry now, Y/N” Morgan said to you, “We’re gonna make sure he never sees the light of day again. He’ll live the rest of his life behind those bars.” 

“Yeah.” was all you managed to say with the slightest smile as you walked through whatever precinct you were in. 

“Y/N, Garcia told me to tell you that if you ever need anything, she’s here. I think the same goes for the rest of us.” Rossi explained.

“Thanks. I owe you all everything.” you said.

“Let’s get you home.” Spencer put his hand on your shoulder, careful not to touch any of your injuries, and the two of you walked out together.

You would never be the same after that, but at least you had your brother by your side.

[reidgraygubler]

a different type of high (spencer reid/reader)pt 2

Title: A Different Type of High (part two)

Request: no

Couple: spencer reid/gender-neutral!reader

Category: angst

Content Warning: swearing, talks about drugs and the usage of drugs, drug use (oxycodone), drug abuse (oxycodone and dilaudid), attending narcotics anonymous, smoking (cigarettes), drug withdrawal, mentions of possible death (but no actual death), 

Word Count:  3378

Summary: reader and spencer have become best buddies after attending NA together. Reader goes to a meeting and panics when she doesn’t see Spencer there. Worried that he might have done something wrong, she calls him in a panic. 

A/N: this takes place in late-ish season two early-season three when spencer is going to the NA meetings. spencer was 26 around this time, reader is about 22 :) anyways, thank you all for the love and support! check out my masterlist!  and here is a mood board/pintrest board i made for the series!

Previous Part  Series Masterlist  Next Part

{***}{***}{***}

I tugged my sweater tight around my body as I walked towards the community center. I stayed a fair distance away from the doors as people entered. There were way too many people entering at once for me to go in now. The way the small crowd entered the building, with a few stragglers behind, only made me a little nervous. 

It was… chilly out today. The last of the warm days were behind us now as we were heading into Winter. That would mean I’d have to find a way to and from the community center and home sooner rather than later. I wonder if Spencer would help me…

“Hey!” A woman’s voice came from beside me as I neared the doors. I looked up from the ground and looked at her. Marie, who practically became my mother after my mom died, was standing at the doorway. “You walked here?” she asked as I entered the building.

“I don’t exactly have a car, Marie, you know that,” I shrugged as I buttoned my sweater up. 

“As long as you’re here, that’s all that matters,” she smiled and wrapped an arm around my body. Part of me wanted to shrug her off me, but another part of me welcomed the embrace. “Go eat something, you’re skin and bones,” she rubbed her hands up and down my arms, as if she was warming me up.

“I do eat, okay. You don’t need-Is that Shephard’s Pie?” I cut myself off when a familiar smell hit my nose. She looked at me and smiled.

“Go eat something,” she winked before leaving me alone. I sighed and looked around the room, looking at all the people around. And just like before, people were standing around and talking to each other, or sitting down. Only a few people were eating what was made. The times when people who work for the community center make food were my favorite days. Granted, they only do it once a month, very rarely was it twice a month. The food they make is always so good.

So, with that knowledge, I walked to where they were serving the food and got myself a plate. I didn’t exactly know where to sit, mostly because I didn’t want to sit beside a bunch of strangers and eat. Actually, I didn’t want to be around anyone while I ate. That left me going to the hall where the bathrooms were to eat. 

I could tell tonight was going to be different. Something about the feeling of everyone was… Off? I’m not really sure how to explain it. Maybe it was the fact that I was alone, and everyone else was with someone or talking to someone. And, I was just me, sitting in the hall to the bathrooms, poking at my Shephard’s Pie.

When I finally finished eating (I took my sweet time), I brought my plate back to the kitchen. The people around were sitting in their respective chairs, waiting for the group to start. I looked around at everyone one last time before I realized something… Spencer wasn’t here. 

Now, I know Spencer is a busy guy with whatever it was that he did for work. And, I know I’ve only known him for a few short weeks, if not a month. But I couldn’t help but allow my mind to wander and race to the scary thoughts that I shouldn’t have. Like, what if he made a mistake… What if he was sitting in the bathroom at his home, overdosing? Shit, shit… Shit. Or, what if he already did overdose and it’s too late. It’s bad that I allow myself to think those thoughts. I really shouldn’t. 

I’m not obsessed with Spencer. Okay? He’s just the only person who’s cared about me in a long time. And, he’s the only person (and thing) I’ve cared about since… Well, since I was 15. Of course, I’m worried about him.

I swallowed roughly as I looked over at Jacob, who was sitting away from the circle, reading over some papers (probably what he was going to say during today’s meeting). He’ll know where Spencer went. I mean, Jacob knows everything about everyone here. He’s gotta know where he is.

I pulled the sleeves of my sweater so my hands were pulled inside them. I looked at the ground as I walked over to Jacob. My heart was beating so hard in my chest it was actually scaring me. I shouldn’t be this scared.

I cleared my throat when I got to Jacob. He slowly lifted his head from the folder and looked at me. Glasses were perched on the tip of his nose, and his eyes were peaking from over the frame.

“Hey, happy to see you here,” he smiled as he closed the folder and placed it to the chair beside him, “What’s up? Did you eat?” he asked, looking around me to the table of food.

“Yeah, yeah, I did,” I nodded and looked back at the ground, “Uhm… Is Spencer coming tonight? He’s usually pretty punctual to meetings… And, he’s not here. I’m just… I’m scared he might have done something,” I whispered, keeping my voice low just in case other people were listening. 

“Oh, no. Spencer’s not coming tonight. He had a work trip that he had to go on. He’ll be back next week,” Jacob smiled at me. I looked back up at him, keeping my eyes on his face.

“Do you… Do you have his phone number?” I looked away from him again, worried that I’d be doing the wrong thing or invading his life. “I do believe you, Jacob. I just…” I wiped my eyes because I didn’t realize I had started crying. 

“Yeah, yeah, no I understand.” Jacob fumbled his pockets for his phone before finally pulling it out. “He might not answer. So you should wait till after tonight’s meeting to call.” he looked up at me as he wrote Spencer’s number on a slip of paper. “I’ll let him know you have his number,” he smiled as he handed over the paper. I nodded before taking the paper from him and pocketing it. 

“Thanks, Jacob… I appreciate it,” I whispered before turning to go find a seat. I kept my head low as I sat, not really wanting anyone to look at me. I could still feel tears rolling down my cheeks, and at this point, I didn’t know why I was crying. I think it was just the overwhelming emotions that I was feeling in general. My emotions are just too much for me and I guess this is where I’m left off.

Jacob was standing up in the circle this time, doing the greeting and welcoming everyone to the meeting. I always hated that part. Where he acts like no one is actually here, dying off coke, or oxy, or meth. But, what can I say? He’s just trying to make a good time out of a shitty situation. 

I was snapped back to reality when Jacob said my name, repeatedly. I looked over at him with wide eyes. 

“Do you want to go first,” he offered. I looked at him and shook my head. 

“Why do you always have me first?” I whispered, mildly annoyed that he always wants me to go first to share life over the last week. “I mean, I’m a month clean if that’s what you want to hear. I have my struggles.” I sighed and looked at him.

“Do you want to expand on those struggles?” He started. I bit my lips together before shrugging.

“Last week, uh, I had a bad week. And, I guess… I have some stuff leftover. Like, hidden away. I just really wanted to not feel anything.” I looked at my lap and shook my head. “I have a friend, though. He’s helping me with my struggles and stuff. I wish I could help him as much as he helps me though,” I sighed and looked back at Jacob. “It’s really hard, not taking whatever to get high to just not exist for a short time,” I explained. I wasn’t sure if it made sense to anyone, but it made enough sense to me. And that’s all that mattered, that I knew what I meant. 

“But you’re working through those struggles, and that’s a good thing. Having a support system is really important. So, your friend that you have is really good.” Jacob smiled and nodded. I stared at him before slowly nodding.

“Yeah, yeah. It is a good thing. I’ve never had a support system like him before. He’s right alongside me.” I whispered. I never really thought of Spencer as my support system. It’s true though, he is. Even if I wasn’t his. “Someone else should share,” I muttered. I made sure my tone was annoyed, just so Jacob would know to stop having me be the first to share.

{***}{***}{***}

After the meeting ended, I walked to the laundromat that was a block or two from my apartment. They had a payphone there that I’d be able to use, which is nice because I didn’t have a cell phone or home phone to use. I’ve done it before, using the laundromat’s payphone. 

I knew I had some change stuffed into the pockets of my sweater. I just hope no one would be in the laundromat. Well, it was late so I don’t expect people to be doing their laundry now. Unless it was someone who didn’t want to be seen during the day, like me.

A shiver shot through my body as I entered the building. I was happy to see that there was only one person here, and it looked like they were almost done doing their load. I glanced at them as I walked to the 3 pay-phones. I sat right at the second one, my hands jingling the change in my pockets. I pulled out four quarters and the paper with Spencer’s number. My eyes scanned the numbers that had Jacob’s sloppy handwriting on it. 

I picked the phone up off the hook before dialing the number. I stared at the numbers on the pad as I held the phone to my head. 

“This is Spencer R-” I slammed the phone back on the hook before he could say anymore. I stared at the phone with wide eyes. My hands were shaky and I could feel my head starting to get a little dizzy. It was just the nerves, anxiety, and everything of the day hitting me all at once. I stared at the phone. I pulled all the change from my pockets and placed it on the counter. 4 quarters, which means two more calls. I swallowed roughly before dialing his number again.

“This is…” “Hi Spencer, it’s me,” I bit my lips together and closed my eyes. I pressed my free hand to my face and shook my head. “I, uh… Sorry if this was inappropriate or anything. I just… I asked Jacob for your number… And, I missed you today, sorry if that’s weird,” I blabbed, my words trailing off. 

“Hey! No, no it’s okay!” Spencer spoke. His tone was happy, like whatever it was that he was doing made him happy. “Sorry I didn’t come tonight. I had work stuff happening.” He explained. So, I nodded, even though he couldn’t see me. 

“Yeah, that’s what Jacob had said.” I retorted and shrugged.

“But you didn’t believe him, did you?” Spencer asked, a certain amusement in his tone. I held back my laughter and nodded.

“Well, I told him I believed him. But I didn’t really believe him,” I rested my face in my hand and leaned against the counter. “A work trip?” I asked, changing the subject back to him.

“Yeah, yeah,” his voice got low, like he tried to not be heard by whoever he was with, “Probably won’t be home till the end of next week, though,” he sounded sad. 

“So, you won’t be home for the next meeting?” I frowned and tried to make it so he could hear my frown. Assuming he did because he started laughing. “God, I fucking hate Jacob, I swear,” I sighed and shook my head. 

“You know, at first I didn’t understand why you hated him… But I’m starting to understand why,” he laughed. I smiled and looked around the laundromat. The previous person was gone, leaving me alone. I was happy about that. I didn’t want people listening in on my conversation. Man, it’d be awkward if he worked for the FBI or something where someone is always listening.

“He always makes me go first to share, it’s getting annoying,” I scoffed and shook my head. “Like, is it because I’m the youngest one there? Because I’ve been attending for so long?” I shook my head again because of my annoyance.

“Maybe you’ll have to ask him. Could be because you’re young,” Spencer answered. On his side of the call, I could hear papers shuffling. 

“God, that’s annoying,” I scoffed, “How was your week?” I smiled, asking the question that is usually first answered in group. Spencer cackled, not just a laugh but a cackle. 

“It was good. Uh, work whisked me away and I wasn’t expecting it. But, here we are.” Spencer sighed. The image I had of him in my head right now was nice. He was just sitting at a desk, coffee in front of him while he read whatever papers he needed. Wait… “What about you? What phone number is this?”

“Oh… Uh, I’m at the laundromat down the street from my apartment… I don’t have a phone,” I bit my lips together and sighed, “Uhm, but my week was meh. I mean, like… Last week was pretty rough… Not gonna lie,” I rubbed my face and shook my head, “Uh, yeah, it was just. I don’t even know why it was a rough week.” 

“You didn-”

“No, no, I wanted to though,” I slouched in the chair and shook my head. “It was really hard not going to my stash… And just taking whatever I had.” I shrugged.

“One minute remaining,” an automated female voice spoke. I widened my eyes and fumbled for quarters.

“Shit,” I muttered, nearly dropping them back to the counter. I also nearly dropped the phone too.

“Is… Is everything okay?” Spencer asked, legitimate worry in his words. I sighed once I finally inserted the quarters into the machine.

“Yeah, yeah. Yep, uh… I don’t use payphones, let alone actual phones, often. And I never have quarters on me for these things,” I shook my head in annoyance. “Sorry if I scared you,” I cringed. 

“It’s okay.” He replied. I sighed and shook my head. “Now that you have my number, you won’t hesitate to call me, will you?” the worry was back in his voice as he spoke. It kinda scared me how much he worried about me. I’ve never had someone worry about me like this before.  What if I disappointed him? Or he disappointed me? I’m used to being a disappointment and getting disappointed. So, what’s it going to do if I get disappointed one more time?

“It’ll depend on the time of day and where I am… If I’m able to get to the laundromat, then sure. But if I’m not near a payphone or if I don’t have quarters, I probably won’t,” I answered. 

“Time of day doesn’t matter. I never sleep anyway. And I assume you never sleep either,” he pointed out the obvious. I laughed and nodded.

“Okay, time of day is no worry. Then, it’ll depend on if I have quarters for the machine,” I pointed out.

“I’ll figure something out for you then,” Spencer stated. I smiled again and nodded. “What time is it?”

“Almost 10… I had to walk to the community center, and then back here.” I sighed.

“You should go to bed,” Spencer spoke firmly. I rolled my eyes and smiled. 

“You’re not my real dad,” I feigned a playful disappointment in my tone. That made Spencer laugh. “I thought you died… When you weren’t at group… My mind kinda wandered and I had thoughts that weren’t the greatest,” I wrinkled my nose. My stomach sank and my body hurt slightly at the thoughts and memories of all the previous thoughts I had of earlier today. 

“Hey, hey,” Spencer’s voice was soft, like he knew I was visibly upset. The kindness he had in his voice made me feel better. “If I have you in my life, I can guarantee that I won’t die,” he had a small chuckle in his tone. I smiled.

“Accountability buddies?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. The smile that was growing on my lips was probably too happy for us to be talking about death and drugs. It was Spencer’s turn to be laughing.

“Okay, okay, accountability buddies,” he agreed, his tone being as happy as my smile was. 

“You know that stupid step? The one about a greater power or whatever?” I asked, tapping my fingers across the counter. Spencer laughed.

“You mean Step Two ‘We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.’ or Steps Five through Seven?” He asked, his tone somewhat cheery. I laughed and shook my head. 

“Honestly, all of them,” I wrinkled my nose and shook my head.

“What about them?” 

“What if I don’t believe in a higher power or God?” I asked. I lifted my hand and looked at my fingers around the phone cord. And with that question, Spencer hummed. I wished he got to answer the question.

“One minute remaining,” the automated voice was back, causing me to frown because I knew our time on the phone would be over soon. I really didn’t want it to be. Spencer was someone I could trust, and he knew that. He was even a better distraction to stop me from doing anything stupid.

“Get some sleep?” Spencer asked, his tone only slightly begging. I smiled and nodded. “Okay, if you nodded, I can’t see you.”

“I’ll get some sleep. I promise,” I sighed, even though I knew it was a lie. I mean, I know Spencer isn’t going to sleep either.

“How many quarters do you have?”

“On me, 4. I’m sure I have more in my apartment,” I sat up in the chair and nodded, “I’ll call you if I need you, Spencer. Thank you for letting me call you,” I wrinkled my nose. 

“Of course. I’d rather have you call me instea-”

“You’ll be home next week?” I asked, cutting him off. He didn’t really need to say anything further, I knew exactly what he was going to say.

“That’s the plan. Could be sooner.” He answered, sounding upset with his own answer. “I’ll take you to get coffee when I get back?” he offered, like that’d make me happy. Okay, yeah it worked. It did make me happy. 

“Coffee?” I asked, raising an eyebrow because I wasn’t sure if he actually offered to get me coffee. “Y-yeah, coffee. That sounds good,” I nodded. I’ve never gotten coffee before.

“I’ll see you then. Goodnight,”

“Goodnight, Spencer,” I smiled before placing the phone back on the receiver. I sat back in the seat and looked at the machine. My eyes then shifted down to the quarters on the countertop. I really wanted to keep talking to him, mostly because I liked talking to him. And, if he was so willing to talk to me, I’ll do it anytime.

I stared at the payphone for a moment before finally standing up. I slipped the last of my quarters and paper back into my pockets before leaving. By the time I finally got back outside, it was cold, colder than before I called Spencer. I suppose that’s what I get for wanting to make a call late at night. 

When I got to my apartment, I couldn’t feel my fingers or my toes. I didn’t want to take a shower, because I really didn’t want to get cold again after the shower. So, I just slumped my way to my bedroom, not like that’ll make me any warmer.

series taglist: @shameleswhorehourstm​, @itsametaphorbriansblog​ , @bxtchboy69​ 

if you want to be apart of the series tag list, just let me know :)

[indefiniteimagines]

Not Even For A Minute || Poussey Washington Imagine *Requested*

Summary: Poussey has a crush on the reader and thinks she doesn’t like her back, but she does.

Pairing: Poussey Washington x Reader

Warnings: Fem!reader, lewd language/comments, language, reader doesn’t have a preferred sexual orientation, use of R slur, angst, fluff

A/N: Holy shit! This is my first piece of writing in actually only a couple of months, but I’m claiming years because I am officially back like I was in high school. I’m so sorry if this is not my best, I am EXTREMELY rusty, so take it easy on me for now :) 

It was dinner time at Lichfield and it was only my second meal in my new home. My new home filled with almost 200 other women. For the next 5 years, I will see the inside of this cafeteria 3 times a day, 21 times a week, 1,095 times a year and a whopping 5,473 times in total. You’re probably wondering why that matters, but it matters.

I take my tray and do a quick search for a place to sit. I find a spot at the very end of one of the middle tables. It was the only seat with no one in a two foot radius of me. I sit down and look at the food in front of me. My first dinner includes spaghetti, two mini oranges, a salad, and a brownie. It’s not horrible when you think about it. It’s a pretty standard meal. Well it would be without the questionable odor coming from the meatballs. I close my eyes and sigh. 

“Maybe she’s deaf.”

“She ain’t deaf.”

“HELLO!”

“She can’t hear you if she’s deaf, dummy.”

“Fine, then you try, Angie.”

I was so deep in my own world that I almost didn’t notice the cherry tomato that hit me in my head. 

“Hey, girl!”

I opened my eyes and looked to my left.

“Are you talking to me?” I asked with a hint of a nervous tone.

“Uh yeah, have been for the last 5 hours. You retarded or something?”

“5 hours ago? No that can’t be right. Remember, we was in the laundry room 5 hours ago, Tucky.”

“Jesus, Angie! I was being snide.”

“You mean sarcastic?”

“Snide means sarcastic.”

“Then why not just say sarcastic?”

I watched as “Tucky” closed her eyes and tilted her head in annoyance.

“I’m sorry, but did you guys need something?”

Tucky’s eyes snapped open, “Uh, yeah. Why’re you sitting here?” She took her bottom lip into her mouth as she waited for my response.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know anyone was sitting here.”

“She never said that,” Angie said while flashing her pearly browns.

“I’m confused.”

“Wow maybe she really is retarded,” Angie said.

“Tucky” nodded at Angie, “I think you’re right, Ang. Here, I’ll break it down real slow like for you: You don’t belong here.”

“Look, I don’t want any trouble. Just let me finish my dinner and I’ll never sit with you again.” I tried to reason with the little troll, but she just wasn’t having it. 

She nodded her head while picking up her milk carton. She then poured it all over my food. “Seems to me like you’re done.”

All I could do was stare with my mouth open. 

“Why did you do that?!”

“BECAUSE YOU DON’T BELONG HERE!” She screamed as she stood up and let one of her fist hit the metal table.

“Dogget! You’re done! Empty your tray.” A CO finally intervened from the next row over. Dogget and her Meth Mates got up from the table and walked out. 

All I could do was sit there with my head hanging low as I let a few tears escape. I’m not usually this weepy, but in my defense, all I wanted was that little brownie...which was now swimming in a pool of used milk. 

*A few tables over*

“Fuck was that about?” Poussey asked her family as she nodded her head over to the other table; finally arriving with her tray. 

“Mmmm, Meth Mouth and her cult were fuckin’ with one of the newbies,” Janae replied in the middle of finishing her bite.

Poussey hovered over her chair to get a good look at the bothered inmate and sat back down while shaking her head. 

After having a mini pity party for myself, I got up and dumped my spoiled tray before leaving the cafeteria. I go back to my temporary bunk and buried myself under my blanket. 

“Cheer up, Kid. You’ll be out of here sooner than you know.”

I gave a pitiful grin to the nice older woman.

“I like your eyeshadow.”

“Duh,” she said as she threw me a wink.  

I let out a sigh, got comfortable and laid in my bed until morning.

I finally fell asleep, but only for 2 hours. At the ass crack of dawn, I was woken up by the morning announcement, which had absolutely no enthusiasm. “Good morning, ladies. Try to seize the day. The world is your oyster.”

“You’d think she’d quit if she hates her job so much.” That was the first time I heard the redhead with the horrible bed head speak.

“Bell is about as enthusiastic as a wet bag of hair, but she’s one of the good ones.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” she said groggily.  

“You joining us for breakfast?”

I drifted back to sleep before I could hear her response. I woke up in what seemed like an hour, but was only 30 minutes. For the slightest second I forgot where I was. I opened my eyes and was met with DeMarco standing right in front of me.

“Well good morning sleepyhead! Nice of you to join the living.”

“What? What time is it?”

“You see a clock in here? What I do know is that you got 10 minutes left for breakfast. You better hurry.”

I hop down off my bunk and start to change.

“Thanks.” 

“You don’t talk much, do you?”

I gave her a shrug as I zipped up my jacket and headed for breakfast. I arrived in the cafeteria and was able to get my food right away since there was no line. Some tables are still filled, but some are also empty. I scan the room and pick the table farthest away from Doggett and her followers. I was in the middle of eating my eggs when Angie walked by and sneezed on my tray. 

“Oops, ‘scuse me,” she said with a shit eating grin.

“God damnit,” I whisper to myself while trying not to deck this bitch.

“You shouldn’t say the Lord’s name in vain like that.”

I look up at her through hooded eyes, “Walk the fuck away.” My voice was low and I kind of scared myself.

“Oooo, devil eyes. Hey! She’s got devil eyes,” she says louder than the first time, except now she’s giggling and pointing at me while backing away. Doggett sucks her bottom lip at me while flipping her hood and getting up to walk out. I can feel people starring so I do a very quick observation and then stand up to leave. 

“Empty your tray,” the guard at the door told me. “Get some coffee while you’re at it. It’ll help you stay full until lunch.”

 I look up at his name that’s stitched into his shirt. Ohhhh, so this is O’Neil. I heard some of the girls talking about his scandalous relationship with CO Bell. Good for them. I turned around and went to dump my tray before following the advice and going for the coffee. 

“Yo, why they always fucking with her?” Poussey asked the table as she watched in disapproval as Y/N dumped her tray.

“Why do you care?” Taystee asked while rolling her eyes.

“For real? You ain’t notice that ever since China got out, Prince Charming over here been lookin’ for a new helpless, basket case? I mean, shit.”

“Aye don’t talk about Brook like that. Not cool, Cindy.”

“ “Cindy”? Bitch, fuck you think you is? My mama? Ugh, check ya tone.”

“Whatever man. I’m just tired of seeing Meth Madness fuck with people like they run the place.”

“Again, why do you care?”

“Shit just ain’t right, is all.”

“Mmmhmm,” Taystee replied as they got up from the table.

I turn around after filling my mug and notice that it’s just me, the inmates that clean up and the CO’s supervising them. I carry my warm mug through the halls and I notice there’s not as many people crowding them as there were last night. 

“Inmate! Where you are supposed to be?”

“Uhm, I’m not really sure.”

“Wrong answer!”

“Wrong?”

“Don’t get smart with me. Jefferson! Tell inmate...Y/L/N where she’s supposed to be.”

“Well, since it’s after lunch, we’re supposed to be headed to our work detail. Not whatever you was doing, apparently.”

The tall guard with the creepy mustache looked down at me and raised his eyebrows.

“Thank you, Jefferson.”

“I don’t have a work detail yet.”

He closed his eyes and sighed. When he opens them he looked back at Jefferson, “you work in the library, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Take her with you.”

She sucked her teeth, “Man, what do I say when someone asks why she’s there? No offense, but I ain’t taking no shots just because she’s somewhere she’s not supposed to be.”

“What’s a shot?”

“Jesus fuck. Will you both get out of my goddamn sight?” 

He snatched my mug; Jefferson and I gave each other a look and started towards the library. When we got there it was almost empty.

“You know, the labels are there to help the books be put back in their respectful place, not to look cute. I mean, damn.” I notice Jefferson chuckle at the girl we hear before seeing. She’s talking to a pair of inmates who are whispering to each other before tossing another book down and scurrying off. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” she calls after them, but to no avail. She sighs to herself before returning back to work. 

“Hey, P! Whatchu up to?”

“Practically cleaning up behind bitches. I mean, why is it so hard to put a book back in its original spot? Jane Eyre belongs in literature, not SAT Prep,” she called back.

“Truly first world problems,” Jefferson said unamused.

“Yooo, you ever heard of “Oedipus”? It’s mad crazy. Like this one part where the main dude...” she kept talking as she rounded the corner to finally come face to face with us.

“...who’s this?”

“Our puppy dog for the day,” Jefferson said as she rolled her eyes.

“Oh alright then. Well I’m working over here in history. Y’all can start in fiction. It’s a fuckin mess over there.”

“Um, then why don’t we all work in fiction?”

“Did you not hear me say it’s a fuckin mess? Have fun.”

I walked away, smiling to myself. I didn’t think anyone here would care for books like I did.

After the work day was over, I separated from the two friends and went back to my temporary bunk until dinner. The next day I followed Jefferson back into the library.

“Oh, puppy dog is back.”

Jefferson turned her head to me, “Don’t you know when you gettin your work detail yet?“

“Sorry, still no.”

“As much as I’m sure you love the view you get, I’m gettin tired of you following me.”

“I can ask someone if I can work somewhere else.”

“T-ha! And make me look like a problem? I think not.”

“Nah, we could use the extra help in here since bitches can’t put shit back where it’s supposed to go. Hate to break it to y’all, but foreign language is even worse than fiction was.”

“My god. Can’t you help us over here instead of doing whatever it is the fuck you doin?”

“Uh no.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m President of the Library.”

“Says who!?”

“Suzanne,” she said as a matter of fact while leaning forward to show us her ID that read “President Washington: Library”.

“Aw damn. It’s official and everything. Man, that’s some bull shit,” Jefferson said as she walked away.

All I did was look at the Presidential badge and smile.

“Since you don’t complain like some people, just know you’re first in line for Vice President. Just don’t tell Taystee,” she told me on the sly.

“Taystee?”

“Jefferson.”

“Ohh, got it.”

“I’m Poussey, by the way,” she said extending her hand.

“Y/N. Nice to meet you.”

“Yeah you too.”

She has a beautiful smile.

Towards the end of the work day, I found myself near Poussey’s section. Since our work for the time being is pretty much done, I start to browse the shelves when I spot a book dear to my heart, “Alice in Wonderland”. I get a mini rush of serotonin and pop a squat up against one of the shelves. I lose track of time, until I realize I no longer see anyone. “Imagination is the only weapon in the war against reality”. You are right about that, Mr. Carroll.

“Hello?” I’m immediately startled. I start to shuffle to my feet and by the time I stand, I’m met with someone else.

“Whoa, shit. My bad. I didn’t think anyone else was in here.” Shit, I must’ve I said that out loud.

“Sorry, I guess I lost track of time.”

“It’s cool. So you haven’t been assigned a work duty yet, huh?”

I shook my head.

“I, uh, I must admit that this is the best job. Call me bias, but it’s the truth.”

“Thanks,” I say with a slight smile.

“You’re the one Pennsatucky and her crew keep messing with.”

“Yeah, that’s me.”

“Y’all got beef on the outside or something?”

“No, but I found it’s better to not provoke a methed out mental case.”

“Not wrong there. Well, I’ll see you around. Oh and be careful with Alice, she’s my favorite.”

The next few days were the same. I would follow Taystee into the library and listen to her and Poussey be absolute clowns. Poussey and I got to be closer since we were usually the last two to leave. We talked about how much time we have, our family, and she even told me about the Vee drama. During my stint of unpaid work in the library, I was finally able to change out of the highlighter jumpsuit and into a khaki set.

After an hour or so into a shift, I found myself distracted with my favorite book, “In Five Years”.

“Oh uh, that goes on the second to last shelf right behind you.”

“Huh? Oh yeah. It was actually already in the right spot, but it’s one of my favorites,” I tell her as I put the book back.

“What’s it about?”

“This woman named Dannie-“

“Y/L/N!”

We both looked towards the door and saw and the same pasty CO that sent me here.

“With me.”

I gave Poussey a grin and walked towards the CO,

“Where are we going?”

He didn’t answer me and just kept walking. I followed him to a warehouse that smelled of Clorox and musty water.

“Janitorial. Your job assignment. Morello will fill you in on what to do.”

“Oh yeah I can do that. No problem.”

The first couple of hours involved cleaning the halls, but I moved on to the Spanish bathrooms. Poussey was right, the library was the best job to have.

*A few weeks later at dinner

“I don’t know why you’d let Edward Scissorhands cut your hair and not me.”

“Because Danita only charges me a bag of Doritos. Not two cokes. Plus, she don’t even ask for the Cool Ranch flavor!”

“Beggars can’t be choosers. I do two cokes worth of work, Child.”

I laughed at Taystee and Sophia having their little banter in the food line. I walked with them to the table and sat down.

“...but then the dragon realized the little ghost girl was friendly, even though she was cold as ice. Fire and ice, that would never work!”

“Why not? What happened to opposites attract?” I ask sort of challengingly. 

“Mommy said ice is used to put out fires. Well, technically water is used to put out fires but ice is just water in solid form. So the fire would go out!”

“But do you know what happens when fire and ice mix?”

“The world goes dark?”

“No. They make steam,” I gave Poussey a “subtle” smirk.

“Mommy says steam is for showers, crab legs and “fun times”.

“I miss making steam with a fine gentleman with a curve on that dick.”

We all laughed along at what Cindy said and I agreed with her.

“There are just some things your fingers can’t accomplish,” I said jokingly while being serious. She pointed her fork at me, “I like her.”

Poussey was noticeably quiet throughout the rest of dinner. Only chiming in to seem interested. She didn’t even finish her tray before she was dipping out.

“Wait I’ll come with you.”

“Nah, stay and eat. I’ll catch you later.”

“Uh oh. Trouble is Lezzy Paradise?”

I almost didn’t hear Cindy as I kept watching Poussey leave the cafeteria.

“Stop it.”

Taystee rolled her eyes and shook her head.

For the next few days, it was hard to get ahold of Poussey. Since we knew each other’s schedules, it was easy for her to avoid me.

Meals were no better. She made sure to get there early so by the time I was sitting down, she was done.

“Aye, you need to fix that,” Janae told me with her eyebrow raised.

“I don’t know what the problem is.”

“I know you are not that dumb,” Boo said as she sat across from me.

“She’s kicking her own ass because she broke the #1 rule of being interested in pussy...” she continued.

I looked at her as I was waiting for her to continue.

“Never fall in love with a straight girl!”

“Love? What-When did I say I was straight-”

“The other night when that one was talkin bout curved dick and you chimed in basically foamin at the mouth at the thought,” Taystee said.

“Noooo, I was joking.”

“Yeah well, apparently she don’t know that.” I looked at Janae and sighed.

I had to wait until the weekend to see her. It was pouring rain and there was a leak in the library and the cleaning warehouse had a slight flood, so neither of us had work.

I snuck my way to her bunk only to discover her to not be there.

“There’s only one place she’d go...” Janae told me.

I made my way down and opened the door.

She was right.

“...there was another before you, but she got out. There’s a time machine in the laundry room. That was their place. That’s where she goes to think.”

“How’d you find me?”

“Your bunkie.”

“What do you want?”

“What’s going on? Why are you being so weird?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said standing up.

“Are we not friends anymore?”

“Friends,” she said with a sarcastic chuckle.

“Can we please sit?” I gestured to the inside of her hiding spot. She backed up slightly to let me further in to the time machine and we both sat down. Neither of us said anything for a while until I did,

“I’m not gay...”

She nodded her head with a sad smile on her face.

“...but I’m not straight either. I’m just me. I’ve dated guys, I’ve had experiences with girls-”

“Experiences? But you’ve never dated a girl?”

“No, but for the past few weeks, I’ve really wanted to,” I said with a slight smile.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because of this. I didn’t want to say something stupid and mess this up. And because I’ve never dated a girl before, but I have dated guys, I didn’t want you to think I was using you. I thought that because I don’t identify as anything, you wouldn’t like me back.”

“I thought you didn’t like me.”

“I didn’t want you to get hurt.”

“Look, I got my heart broken not too long ago by a girl that promised me forever. She didn’t identify as anything either and she ended up falling in love with a dude when she got out. We were both in a dark place when we met and getting to know each other and eventually falling in love helped. I could’ve given up on love and fate, but I haven’t yet. Look, maybe this-..this connection that we have, challenges what you thought you were. And maybe I'm gonna get my heart broken in a thousand different pieces again. But those are maybes. You can't live your life according to maybes.”

The next few months were bliss. Poussey and I have connected on a level I didn’t know was attainable. 

Today is Valentine’s Day and right now we’re back in the time machine. We’re both laying down, holding each other and looking up at the ceiling. 

“It’s about a woman named Dannie who’s this a high-powered corporate lawyer. She’s one of those types who has everything planned out. The story has a lot of twists and turns because her five year plan goes differently than she thought.”

“So why is it your favorite if it’s so inconsistent? For a woman who knows what she wants “Dannie” sure seems okay with settling.”

“It’s my favorite because it mirrors me. It mirrors us. In five years I saw myself at some job a teenager would have with my only responsibility being my phone bill.”

“What do you see now?”

“I see me with our dog, Keith, holding signs with your dad on your release day. Then I see us heading to our apartment where you can see it for the first time in person. Then we’ll go to our jobs, pay rent, and hound our parents for travel money.”

“I’m in your future?”

“You are my future.”

She gave me a kiss when there was a bang on the cardboard door, “Hey kids! They’re doing interviews in the bunks,” Boo informed us.

When we got to her dorm, there were a few guards asking ladies questions about love.

“Does anyone else want to be asked questions?”

“Yeah, I do,” Poussey said while raising her hand.

I feel Taystee put her elbow on my shoulder, “What the hell?” The rest of the family comes around.

“Okay Washington, what is love?”

“Love. It’s just chilling, you know? Kicking it with somebody, talking, making mad stupid jokes. And, like, not even wanting to go to sleep, ‘cause then you might be without ‘em for a minute,” she looked at me, “And you don’t want that.”

•taglist: @mina672

[ssvgawara]

Haikyuu boys and some oddly specific crime they’d commit

a/n: I come back and the first thing I write is a shitpost!! enjoy </3 tw for drugs, murder, alcohol and general crime committing xoxo

Karasuno

Daichi- he’s a cop sorry that’s all there is to it man

Suga- Suga has multiple charges of 1st-degree murder against him but they can’t seem to find his identity so he continues committing murder and will continue until he gets caught or ends up murdering enough people to be put in a position of power

Asahi- everyone is probably like “Oh Asahi is innocent” NO. He has learned that his slightly scary face will let him get away with a lot, he is buying alcohol illegally because he looks old enough to, and he’s buying so much other shit and just getting away with it

Nishinoya- This man gives fucking pimp vibes I can just see him in the big leopard print fur coat with a pretty girl in his lap and he calls himself big poppa but no one else will

Tanaka- Drug dealer vibes, probably runs an entire fucking drug ring with his sister and not just a Lil weed these mfkas have the hard shit too like you could probably buy meth from them, he’s not using it but it’s good business

Ennoshita, Kinoshita, and Narita- They literally rob a bank they have an entire scheme and get away with multiple bank robberies and this goes on for MONTHS

Kageyama- We know he’s volleyball smart but otherwise he’s so mfing stupid and I love him for it but he is a chronic shoplifter. Just picks something up and takes it, has walked out of a store without paying for an entire bed set once and got away with it somehow so idk props to him

Hinata- He is the little guy in any heist situation, he fits anywhere so he can sneak in and out the best, he gave himself the stupid ass code name tiny giant but everyone goes with it because somehow he is the best

Tsukishima- armed robbery, but he doesn’t have a gun just a knife like he’s tall and as an attitude, a knife will get him whatever he needs he doesn’t need the gun

Yamaguchi- He runs a catfishing scheme where he pretends to be a naive girl, scams old men out of their money, and then ghosts them and I think it’s what he deserves let him carry on especially because no one would believe it’s him. Also not really like a crime crime but still a crime in a way

Kiyoko- She kills men and I know it, Queen Kiyoko ending the patriarchy one shitty man at a time like she only kills men who deserve it bc some have rights.

Yachi- She’s too anxious to commit an in-person crime so she does a lot of cybercrime, hacking government databases and releasing info to the people, truly the anonymous we deserve

Saeko- She’s running that drug ring with Tanaka, and she loves it because there’s a thrill to it even though yknow she’s dealing literal meth but like its fine plus she loves rocking people’s shit when they get too handsy, which bring me to my next point underground MMA Saeko, like the illegal one with no rules yeah <3

Ukai- this man probably sells all kinda shit to minors that he shouldn’t he is so unbothered a 7-year-old could probably walk in ask for a pack of camels and get them and leave before he noticed what was going on.

Takeda- Did y’all see how scared Hinata was when Takeda gave him that lecture? This dude could kidnap someone and scare them into giving all the information he needed, a legend truly

Aoba Johsai

Oikawa- took steroids one time. And of course in sports, that’s not allowed. But he only did it once and regretted it for months afterward. Never told anyone and was just relieved he didn’t have to piss in a cup and have someone find out.

Matsukawa- Without hesitation, I know this man takes dead people’s bones and sells them on the internet. Has dubbed himself the bone man and he feels so much power when someone buys a femur or sumn. It’s kinda funny honestly he has a hoard of bones to sell, his fave is the pelvis.

Hanamaki- He’s in between jobs because he stole money from his last job, like he said he was sorry he just needed a little extra for gas but was sad to find out that’s a literal crime and he was laundering money.

Iwaizumi- he’s a street racer, like the fast and furious style and it’s so sexy of him like late-night races ugh to be in an expensive fast car with him where he has one hand on my thigh okay that’s enough of that.

Kunimi- Look me in the eye and tell me he does not do drugs. He does and if you don’t believe me you are wrong and I will fight you on this one. 

Kyotani- If there is a crime he will commit it for fun. Like he will do it with no hesitation. He has a record longer than twilight and I’m not sure how he is not in prison actually nvm he escaped and is  a wanted criminal lol

Shiritorizawa

Ushijima- Assault, he just reeks of getting into bar fights when he’s absolutely wasted. Like he most likely didn’t start it but he will be finishing it

Tendou- grave robbing, he just goes into the cemetery picked the oldest plots, and gets to digging. Has made thousands on dead people jewelry and probably won’t get caught, like besides the groundskeeper there’s no security he will never stop.

Semi- he breaks copyright laws on the daily. He’s sampling music in his all the time but he’s doing it so sneakily it’s fine its what deserves stream his band on Spotify right now,

Shirabu- His bangs are criminal enough. No, but he has stolen drugs from the hospital before he just wanted to try the Xanax, and yeah he could just write himself a prescription for it nut like it’s so easy to just go get some and no report it so that’s what he did.

Goshiki- y’all want me to say arson don’t you?? Fine. He commits arson multiple times and kills 7 people with fire before getting arrested and he doesn’t even feel bad so in prison he probably fucking runs a gang he is crazy.

Nekoma

Kuroo- he is a capitalist and class traitor and that’s crime enough I don’t care is he’s attractive or rich, He commits crimes daily by just existing but I still love him anyway.

Kai- Could not commit a crime he just wants to garden and live his life. Jk there’s at minimum one body in that garden let him kill a man he deserves it just let him have one dead body

Yaku- he keyed someone’s car once just because they pissed him off. Was it kuroo? Yes. But that’s fine because he also keyed Lev’s car but blamed lev for keying kuroo’s and Kuroo for keying Lev’s. He just wants to watch the world burn.

Kenma- cyberbullying but man he is mean. Like no bars held we will dig into every insecurity he can and that shit hurts and he doesn’t even feel bad about it he will just be as mean as he can if you’re not careful

Lev- his crime is being tall and dumb also doesn’t understand the economy and prints counterfeit money because why can’t we print more money? The government should get on that.

Inuoka- He released all the animals from a zoo, like snuck in one night and just let them all free, I’m surprised the tiger didn’t eat him but hey the animals are free, there’s still some missing uh oh he’s very proud of himself for it. After the rush, he starts sneaking into shelters and freeing all the dogs and cats

Yamamoto and Fukunaga- Have egged a house before, it was Kuroo’s he deserves all this bullying and you can’t stop me.

Date Tech

Aone- Criminal Conspiracy, sure he had an entire foolproof plan to get away with the perfect crime but someone found out, and now his plans are ruined, damn </3 and no one ever suspects the quiet guy either.

Futakuchi- Having a prostitute, he just wanted some company like mans is lonely so he paid a girl to just spend a Lil time with him it’s all good.

Fukurodani

Bokuto- I know we all haha funny laugh at tax evader bokuto and sure maybe he evades his taxes but he’s also committed vehicular manslaughter, he cannot drive and has killed someone with his car maybe even multiple someones but he always drives off in a panic because he doesn’t know what else to do.

Akaashi- Hasn’t actively committed a crime but has been an accomplice in every vehicular manslaughter Bokuto has committed why the fuck does he keep letting bokuto drive? He really needs to stop that.

Konoha- A master scammer he is so convincing everyone gives him money even if they’re a little sus because he’s just that good each scheme is so convincing.

Inarizaki

Kita- He grows weed, you can’t tell me those rice fields are just for rice he’s got all this space he is growing marijuana and selling it, let him do it I want him to be my plug.

Atsumu- "What is my perfect crime? I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No, I go for the chandelier. It's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning, the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico, but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I like the cold. Thirty years later, I get a postcard. I have a son and he's the chief of police. This is where the story gets interesting. I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier."

Osamu- resisting arrest. He just said no and ran. Granted he shouldn’t have punched the cop in the first place to have to be arrested but like that’s not the point here.

Aran- accidental child abandonment, like he just forgot he was babysitting and left the kid alone for like a day. He felt terrible but he still forgot the kid and now is fearful of parenthood

Suna- owns an illegal weapon, like he just never registered it and keeps it around and would use it if needed Suna please just point the weapon at me maybe

Others

Terushima- Graffiti, he loves painting on the walls of buildings and tagging them, has so much spraypaint and his day isn’t complete if he doesn’t tag at least one building or train car.

Daishou- Public intoxication- he got a little too fucked up and stripped on the street he will forever have to live with everyone knowing he has an ass tattoo like damn bruh

Sakusa- Perjury he simply wanted to get out of court so he said some shit so he could leave granted he lied under oath but whatever, did they ever find out? No, so he’s fine and he’d do it again if it meant he could leave faster. Like sure he was a witness to a murder but bruh he pretends he does not see.

Hoshihumi- driving without a license he simply thought you didn’t need one because why do you need a piece of plastic to say you can drive a car like??? Just know how to drive it.

[lils-writes-stuff]

A Thin Line

spencer reid x reader 

Best years part 4 | part three | part two | part one

summary: the team takes on a case in California involving home invasions. the reader has a surprise for her when they get back. 

warnings: normal criminal minds things, mentions of racism and sexism (are those warnings idk)

A/N: based on season 7 episode 15; this ones cute ngl 

“I think you should tell Spencer,” Penelope said turning in her swivel chair to Y/N who was sitting behind her. 

“Tell him what, ‘Hey Spence, guess what, this girl who tormented me through my college life has come back to haunt me.’ Yeah, okay,” she said, shaking her head. She took a sip of the coffee in her mug, “And besides, there’s nothing really to tell him, she could just be trying to scare me, she loves to play mind games.” 

“Well, you should at least tell him what’s going on, you’ve received two more notes from her since the night that you called me, and it’s been almost a month,” Y/N sighed knowing that Penelope was right. “And you guys have been going out for that long now, so I’m sure he’ll understand if you don’t want to tell him all about your past right away.” 

“You’re right,” Y/N said, her finger trailing along the rim of her mug as she thought about when she should tell him. 

“And you should also tell Hotch.” 

“Tell Hotch? Why would I need to tell him?” Y/N asked looking up at Penelope. 

“I think it would just be smart, you know in case something happens,” Penelope responded with a small sigh, remembering back to the whole Emily situation and what happened when she didn’t tell them.

“I’ll tell him if I get another note.” 

“Okay, good,” Penelope said, then she smiled and began to get really excited. “So, you have to tell me, how have you and the good doctor been doing?” 

Y/N giggled as she watched her friend get excited about her relationship. “It’s been going good, we’ve gotten to know each other a lot more on our dates, the other night we went to this museum, and at first I didn’t think that would be a cool place to go on a date, but then it turned out really romantic,” Y/n smiled as she thought back to the night of the date. Spencer’s hand grasping her’s as they roamed the halls of the museum. Her eyes trained on him as he spoke about the parchments in a case or as he explained in depth about the artifact on the wall.

“Oh my gosh, that’s so adorable!” Penelope exclaimed, clapping her hands together excitedly. “Have you two kissed yet?” 

“No, we haven’t, but I’m not rushing this, I don’t want to rush it.” 

“Oh my- that is so mature, look at you, you're all grown up,” Penelope said, taking Y/N’s face in her hands squeezing her cheeks together. “I remember when you first joined the team, your 26-year-old self all antsy and ready to catch some serial killers. Now, look at you! 27 and so grown up I-” 

“I’m 28 actually,” Y/N corrected Penelope with a laugh. 

“Did we miss your birthday?” Penelope asked with a guilt written face. 

“Yeah, but don’t worry about it, birthdays are just days,” Y/N said trying to reassure her friend. 

“Don’t worry about it? You and Spencer both, he did the same thing awhile back on his birthday,” Penelope said referring back to when Spencer had turned 30. “And they’re not ‘just days’, it’s the day that you were born, they are wonderful days! We need to do something for it, when was it?” 

Y/N just shook her head with a laugh before standing, “It was last week, but we really don’t have to do anything.” She tried to explain to the bubbly woman in the chair. 

“No, we do, we are going to have dinner together as a family, and you are going to like it,” she stopped her rant when she saw her case alert go off and a text from Hotch. “Right when you get back from this case.” 

--------

   Y/N walked into the round table room smiling at her co-workers then making eye contact with Spencer. “Hi,” she said with school-girl glee as she took a seat next to him. 

“Hi,” he said back, the light blush on his face growing. 

“Y/N and Spencer, sittin’ in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-,” JJ began to sing the schoolyard rhyme.

“Shut up,” Y/N said giggling looking at the blonde who just laughed at her. 

“Alright let’s get started,” Hotch said, taking his seat Derek and Emily following closely behind him. 

“San Bernardino, California,” Penelope began as everyone opened up their tablets with the case file. “Two home invasions in less than a week, only a block apart, exact same M.O… Both houses were burgled, power and phone lines cut, and they broke in through a back window.” 

“In each case, the entire family was shot and killed?” Spencer asked, eyebrows raised at the thought. 

“Yes, that is right. I present to you the Mitchells and the Lewis family,” Penelope grabbed her remote from beside her, pulling the pictures of the family up on the screen. 

“They took out the power and phone so what, they could feel isolated?” Y/N asked. 

“The alarm system wouldn’t work and they couldn’t call for help,” Rossi explained the probable reasoning for why the power was cut. 

“Most modern alarm systems have a backup generator and a cell phone connection to the security company,” Spencer said wondering why this didn’t happen in this scenario.

“Yeah, but the Mitchells had an older system, and the Lewis’ were behind on their account, so it was inactive,” Penelope explained. 

“An assailant was killed in each case?” JJ asked, looking at Penelope next to her.

“Affirmative, but the sheriff hasn’t I.D.’d them yet.”

“So both families were armed, and fought back and shot one of their attackers,” Emily said looking around the table. 

 “Is that a coincidence or a connection?” Derek asked looking over to Emily. 

“What concerns me is the frequency of the kills,” Hotch said looking up from his tablet. 

“Only four days apart,” Y/N said looking at the dates. 

“Alright, it’s a long flight, we better get going, wheels up in 30.” Everyone stood up and headed out of the room to grab their go-bags. 

-------------

“Brian Mitchell was an avid hunter and Matt Lewis was an Iraq war vet, so it doesn’t surprise me that they both owned guns,” Y/N said looking up from her tablet. 

“Last year, southern California’s inland empire ranked fourth in the nation in foreclosure rates. Typically, as the economy falls, the crime rates will rise,” Spencer said. 

“Times are tough, desperate people do desperate things,” Rossi said, agreeing with Spencer’s statement. 

“Greetings all,” Penelope said as she appeared on the screen. “Your herald bears tidings.”

“What you got, Mama?” Derek asked as he turned to the screen. 

“The sheriff I.D.’d both the dead home invaders,” Penelope began to type on her computer pulling up some of the files. “First up is Alex Collison, twenty. Made an impressive list of bad life decisions before he croaked, included but not limited to...possession, a couple of drug charges, a card-carrying member of the Verdugo heights boys.”

“They’re gang members,” JJ realized as she listened to what Penelope was saying. 

“Oh, he was, but slow your roll, home-girl,” Penelope said before she told of the next victim. “Because next up is Ronald Underwood, 19. Zero records, unless you want to count some volunteer work. Straight-A student, putting himself through school.”

“Not exactly the home invasion type,” Emily said. 

“Both from a poor area of town, grew up a mile apart,” Hotch said while he looked down at the tablet in his hands. 

“Hard to actually tell from the crime scene photos of how many assailants there actually were,” Y/N said as she swiped through the photos. 

“Well, if it was gang-related, there could be a lot of them,” Emily said looking at Y/N.

“The homes that got invaded were on the other side of town, a predominantly white area full of middle-class families,” JJ explained the demographics.

“Hey, guys,” Penelope said, bringing the attention to her. “The M.E. report just came in, both of them had high levels of oxycodone in their system.” 

   “That’s strange. Violent crimes like these are normally associated with stimulant drugs,” Spencer said puzzled as to why that was. 

“Like meth?” Y/N asked turning her head to look at Spencer next to her. 

“Yeah, like meth.” 

 “Underwood’s as straight as an arrow,” Derek began. “Collison’s a garden-variety gang-banger. I grew up with knuckleheads like that, high-risk break-ins, and oxy, that’s not their M.O.”

“Regardless, we need to get ahead of it. The press has got a community on the verge of panic,” Hotch explained. “JJ and I will coordinate with the sheriff’s office, I want the rest of you at the crime scene.” 

------------

Y/N walked into the home of the Lewis’, inspecting all the blood on the walls. It almost felt like she could hear them scream for help and she so desperately wanted to go back in time and save them from all this. The shattered family photos and the torn-up house just made her feel so unsettled. 

 Y/N turned as she had finished with the room she was in and headed out meeting Emily in the hallway. 

“You alright?” She asked as she saw Y/N’s sad face.

“Yeah, just family annihilators, they always hit me differently, you know?” She said as they turned and walked down the hall towards the stairs. 

“Ballistics confirmed that the rest of the Lewis family was shot with the same 357,” Spencer said as he turned and watched Y/N and Emily walk down the stairs together.

“So if it was a gang, there was only one shooter,” Rossi stated after processing the information he had just received. 

“The second and third victims were Trisha Lewis and six months old Blake,” Emily said. 

Spencer shook his head at the thought of a six-month-old being killed. 

“The injury patterns suggest that Mrs. Lewis tried to shield the baby with her own body,” Y/N said with a sigh trying not to let herself get worked up. 

 “Matt Lewis was found right here,” Rossi said with his hands pointed to the floor. “Ronald Underwood just over there-” he pointed to the blood spot to his left- “Underwood was shot eleven times in the head and abdomen.”

“But Lewis himself only had a single gunshot wound to the head at almost point-blank range?” Spencer questioned.  

“How did someone get that close?” Y/N asked looking between Rossi and Spencer. 

“He could’ve been subdued first,” Emily proposed. 

“The M.E. didn’t find any signs of a blitz attack or struggle,” responded Spencer. 

“Well, it had to be an ambush of some kind,” Derek said as he inspected some of the walls with blood spatter. “Probably when he was confronting Underwood.” 

“But that’s almost impossible based on where the body was found,” Spencer said looking over at Derek. 

“It’s right in the middle of the room,” Emily said as she looked at the bloodstains. 

“It’s too out in the open to surprise somebody,” Y/N said agreeing with Emily. 

“Matt Lewis wasn’t shot here,” Rossi said as he pointed to the spot where the body was found. 

“No, but someone moved the body to make it look like he was,” Spencer said. 

“Forensic countermeasure designed to make us think that these guys died in a gunfight that never occurred,” Derek said as he realized what probably happened. 

“Bullet and blood everywhere, too messy for an accurate reconstruction,” Rossi said. 

“Okay, so the unsub gets the drop on Matt Lewis,” Y/N said as she pointed to where Matt Lewis was found. “He then kills the rest of the family, and then leaves behind a drugged-up patsy to cover his tracks?” 

“This wasn’t a burglary at all. There was a higher purpose here, they’re staging the crime scene as some kind of message,” Spencer said. 

“This guy’s trying to make it look like black kids from the hood are killing white families, in white neighborhoods,” Derek said. 

“Pretty powerful message,” Emily said.

“No kidding,” Y/N added as she shook her head. 

The five finished up in the house and decided to head back to the station

“You good?” Spencer asked her as they walked out of the house, noticing how she was looking a bit upset. 

“Yeah, yeah, I just can’t believe what happened in there really, family annihilators you know they just get to me, this one more than the others,” she explained to him. 

“Yeah, this one is sad, I get it,” he said as he looked at her. “But we’ll catch him like we always do, and if you’re lucky you’ll get to put the cuffs on him.” The last statement was a hope to make her smile because he loved her smile so much.   

It worked. 

A smile crept up to Y/N’s face. “I might just do that.”

-----------

 Y/N sat in the station the next morning. Head laying on her arms as she looked at the crime board on the wall. Another family had been killed last night, so they had been added to the board.

 She stared at the victims of the first two families, they looked so much like hers. She saw herself in the shoes of the young girls, the memories of her childhood overwhelmed her. She lifted her head up and rubbed her face with her hands lightly, not wanting to rub the makeup on her face off. 

The feeling of a warm hand on her back made her pull her face out of her hands. She looked beside her and saw Spencer as he sat down after taking his bag off, a coffee in his hand. 

“You didn’t bring any for me, I see how it is,” Y/N said with a fake hurt expression on her face as she leaned into the back of her chair. 

“Actually-” he pointed to her right side- “I did think of you.” 

Her heart fluttered, “You sure know the way to my heart Spence.” She grabbed the large coffee cup and took a sip from it. The warm liquid running down her throat soothing her. 

“Hey love birds, we’re about to give the profile,” Derek said leaning into the room they were in. The two stood up and made their way to where the rest of the team was.

 “We believe we’re looking for a white male, in his late twenties to early thirties,” Hotch said, beginning the profile. 

“Wait, wait, wait,” A deputy said quickly. “I’m sorry, I thought we were looking at black gang-bangers?” 

“The unsub has been staging the crime scenes to make it look like black gangs and undocumented immigrants were responsible,” Derek said to the deputy.

“Why would anyone do that?” The deputy asked. 

“We think he’s trying to create some racial conflict,” Y/N said hoping that was the best way to answer. 

 “In 1969, Charles Manson orchestrated the Tate-La Bianca murders, in the hopes of creating a race war between the blacks and whites that he referred to as Helter Skelter,” Spencer explained. 

 “A name he stole from a Beatles song,” Rossi added, the comment only being funny to the team since they knew that Rossi’s friends with Ringo.

“Members of the Manson Family left watermelon rinds at the scene of the crime and also painted panther paws on the wall in blood in the hopes of convincing authorities that the black panther was responsible,” Spencer continued on his explanation. 

 “Hate groups like the Aryan Nation believe that race war is not only inevitable but necessary,” Hotch said looking over the see of officers. 

 “Our unsub may be a member of one of these groups,” Emily added. 

“Aryan gangs have a strong presence in prisons, so he may be an ex-con or even possibly related to a convict,” Y/N said. 

“We think he may also be some kind of zealot,” Rossi began. “He believes his war is already being fought, and these murders are a mission to him.”

“And like a soldier, he is willing to put himself in harm’s way,” JJ added. 

“The unsub may also be vulnerable somehow, weak mind, or even lonely. His cause gives him a sense of power and belonging,” Spencer said giving more depth to who the unsub might be. 

“He’s physically fit enough to move dead bodies, so he’s probably young,” Derek said. 

“But not too young as to be impulsive,” Y/N added quickly.

“These attacks took planning and focus. So, he’s disciplined,” Rossi said. 

“He uses oxycodone to drug his unwilling partners,” Spencer explained. 

“He does this without killing them, which shows that he is knowledgeable about dosages,” Y/N said. 

“And oxy is expensive, so look at medical care professionals and caregivers, anyone with access to prescription drugs,” Emily said. 

“This unsub is dedicated and driven, it makes him especially dangerous. Surrender is not likely part of his strategy,” Hotch said as the profile came to a close. 

---------

“Hey Hotch, Y/N,” Derek said as he walked over to the two that were sitting at a desk going over some geographics to help Spencer with his profile. “There’s a mayoral race in town, and there’s a guy named Clark Preston all over the news.”

“Looks like he’s running a close second,” Y/N said as she looked at the tablet in Derek’s hand. 

 “Yeah, and check this out,” He scrolled down and clicked on the video. 

“These vicious home invasions are a sign of the times,” Clark Preston said in the video. “As demographics change, so do crime rates. Now we may not be able to slow the browning of America, but we can sure as hell take our city back. And if you elect me, I’ll lead that charge.”

“The browning of America?” Y/N asked with astonishment. 

“That’s a damn near hate speech,” Derek said as he looked at Hotch.

 “He’s using the murders to further his campaign and I guess people are rallying behind it,” Hotch said. 

“So what if our unsub is nothing like Manson? Manson never got his hands dirty, what if our unsub is more like his followers?” Derek proposed. 

“You think he’s being manipulated?” Y/n asked pulling her legs up in the seat she was sitting in. 

“Maybe even unintentionally, but either way, rhetoric like this could fuel his fire,” Derek said. 

“We should talk to Preston,” Hotch said, nodding to the tablet. 

“I already sent a car,” Derek told Hotch. 

“Good,” was Hotch’s short response. “Y/N, do you mind talking to him with us, your knowledge in political science might help,” Hotch said turning to the woman in the chair. 

“Sure,” she said with a nod. 

“I can’t tell you how happy I am you’re here gentleman,” Preston said, not even acknowledging Y/N in the room. “Maybe now someone will stop these savages, what can I do to help.” 

Derek looked at Y/N with one raised brow in question, after noticing that the politician in the chair wouldn’t even look at her. She just shook her head while she shrugged her shoulders and listened to what Hotch was saying. 

“We were hoping to talk to you about some of your rhetoric,” Hotch asked as he looked at Preston across from him. 

“My rhetoric,” Preston said, it wasn’t a question just him repeating what Hotch said hoping he heard him right. 

“We believe the recent murders maybe hate crimes,” Derek said walking closer to Preston. 

“Some of the things you say, well they maybe be construed as inflammatory,” Y/N said while she moved spots to stand behind Hotch.

“Agent Y/L/N’s referring to some of your recent campaign speeches and the references to the murders,” Hotch explained.

 “We believe that whoever’s responsible for these crimes is impressionable and may be responding to the vitriol,” Derek said. 

“You think I’m responsible?” Preston asked, turning to look at Derek. 

“Nobody said that,” Y/N said crossing her arms. Preston never even looked at her when she spoke. 

“If this person is motivated by racist sentiments, then what you are saying publicly may be affecting him,” Hotch explained making Preston turn his attention towards him.

“You’re profilers right?” Preston asked. 

“Right,” Hotch responded. 

“You study behavior, not actual facts,” Preston’s comment made Y/N sigh. “And then you come up with theories.” 

“It’s really, not that simple,” Y/N said as she looked at the man. For the first time, he looked at her, and then he rolled his eyes at her statement.

“I’m sorry, who are you a secretary or something?” The blood in Y/N’s body boiled with rage at the question. She then watched Preston turn to Derek, “I’ll bet you had to work extra hard to get in the bureau, didn’t you? Probably still have to prove yourself on a regular basis. I respect that. I wish there were more like you.” He took small pauses in between each statement.

The man stood up from his chair and began to head towards the door. “I’ll cut back my media appearances, for now. But I suggest you start proving some of those theories of yours. And get some of those hard-working men to arrest those punks doing this.” 

The way he said men made Y/N want to punch him so bad that she had to fit the urge to walk over to him and do just that. 

“You gentlemen enjoy your day,” Preston then let himself out, once again not acknowledging Y/N. 

 “We should check out his list of contributors and his staff, it might be somebody in his camp,” Hotch said standing up from his chair.  

“We need to check him out, too,” Derek said. 

“No kidding,” Y/N said stilled enraged by the man. “Did you see what he was doing? Or more like wasn’t, he wouldn’t even acknowledge my presence and than he dared to ask me if I was a secretary.”

“The guy is no doubt a racist and is also very sexist,” Derek said.

“Oh yeah for sure,” Y/N said as she walked over to Derek by the door. 

  “Come on Pretty girl, don’t let him get you all riled up,” Derek said to her as they walked out of the room. 

“I know, I know, it just makes me angry,” Y/N said as she and Derek walked over to the area where the rest of the team sat.

“What makes you angry?” Spencer asked as she sat down beside her. 

“Clark Preston, not only is he a racist, and let that be known when he spoke to Derek, but also he is majorly sexist,” she grabbed a paper cup from the middle of the table and then poured herself some water. “The whole time we were speaking to him, he didn’t even look at me, and the one time he did he rolled his eyes and asked me if i was a secretary.” 

“Are you serious?” Emily asked with disbelief.  

“That’s ridiculous,” Spencer said while he shook his head. 

“Uh-huh, you know Derek if he is a part of this, you know what would make me so happy,” She said as she turned to Derek. 

“What’s that?” He asked her. 

“If we got to arrest him, but I want to put the cuffs on him, just to let him know that a woman has power over him,” she said with authority.

Derek laughed before agreeing and promising her that if Preston was a part, they would do that. 

The team sat scattered at various desks around the station they were at. Y/N stood next to Emily and Spencer as they looked over some maps of the area. Rossi sat at a large desk to left and Derek in a desk behind them towards the right. 

“Hey, talk to me, doll face,” Derek said answering his phone to talk to Penelope, everyone’s attention now drawn to Derek and the woman on the phone. 

  “I got some dirt on your mayoral candidate, Clark Preston,” she spoke. 

“He’s a politician, that shouldn’t be hard,” Rossi said as he walked over to be closer. 

“Yeah, he’s a real estate lawyer who ran for city council last year and lost,” Penelope explained. “And he’s rich, as in if money was dirt he’d be filthy. He quadrupled his net worth in the last ten years, mostly from real estate.”

“So he managed to thrive despite the area’s economic downturn,” Spencer said in realization. 

“What do you mean by mostly?” Y/N asked leaning closer to Derek’s phone so that she could be heard. 

“Well, he is on the board of several financial institutions. Hedge funds, pension funds, oh, he likes to shuffle his money around. Even found some offshore accounts of his, I did,” she said giving what other dirt she could find on Preston.

 “You only do that if you’re trying to hide it,” Emily said.

“What about his staff and contributors?” Spencer asked the woman on the phone.

“Uh-uh. No, they’re clean,” she said.

 “Alright thanks, Garcia,” Derek said before he hung up the phone.“Preston’s a part of this, me and Y/N both think so.”

“Yeah you should have seen him in there,” Y/N said as she turned to Emily. 

“He’s sexist, racist, and a little shady, maybe, but a murderer?” Emily asked as she looked between the two.

“It may be just a feeling, but I know he’s in this, we just need to figure out how,” Derek explained.  

------------

The next morning the team arrived to bad news, as another family was killed earlier that morning. Surprisingly this time, the guy the unsub would have left for the blame got away.

 “His names Ramon Gomez, he’s an undocumented immigrant from Mexico City and he’s pretty freaked out,” JJ said as her, Y/N, Derek, Spencer, and Emily stood in front of the room Ramon was in. 

“That’s pretty understandable,” Y/N said while she folded her arms over herself. 

“Was he able to give a description of the unsub?” Spencer asked as he looked at JJ. 

“Uh, just of the vehicle, his English is not that good,” JJ explained. “We put an APB out.”

 Emily nodded her head, then turned to walk into the room with Ramon in it. “Hole, mi nombre es Emily Prentiss,” she said to Ramon. 

The four others stood outside and watched as she interacted with the man sitting at the table.

“This poor guy,” Y/N said as she looked at the frightened man sitting at the table. 

The three beside her hummed in agreement as the continued to watch and somewhat listen to what Emily was saying to Ramon. He pulled his arm out showing scars on his arm. He then got a look of realization on his face as he remembered more.

Emily then thanked him and walked out of the room to the other four. 

“He remembers hearing a train and then loud music,” she said as she came to the four standing. 

“That’s something, let’s get started,” Y/N said and the five began walking towards the area they had been working in. 

“There are approximately two hours between Ramon’s abduction here-” Spencer pointed to one spot on the map- “and his escape here. He crossed the train tracks here. Now, given the time and distance parameters, there’s no way the unsub could have ventured outside this radius.” 

“Okay, so he said the train was close, and he heard laughter and loud music,” Emily said. 

“I looked at points of interest next to the train tracks and there really isn’t much. There’s a warehouse, a taco stand that would have been closed, and a bar called the drunken dog ” Spencer explained.      

“Why stop there? He need a drink?” Rossi asked. 

 “He doesn’t seem like the drinking type,” JJ said. 

“Yeah, he’s not impulsive or sloppy enough,” Y/N said sticking her hands into the back pockets of her pants. 

“I live to serve you, sir,” Penelope said as she answered Hotch’s call. 

“Garcia, what can you tell us about a bar called The Drunken Dog?” Hotch asked.

“Ooh, I like it already. Let’s see- uh- it’s been around thirty years. It was opened by a warehouse worker named Manny Gresham, upon his death six years ago it was bought by a hedge fund company called First Advantage.”

“Why would a hedge fund company want a bar?” Emily asked. 

“Let’s see. Well, they bought it for a song,” Penelope began. “And, poor man, his medical expenses bankrupted him, I guess that’s why-- shut the front door.” 

“What is it?” Y/N asked. 

“Clark Preston is on the board of First Advantage, which explains why the bar is on a shortlist of local businesses that support Preston for mayor,” Penelope answered.

 “Of course it is,” Y/N said as she sat down on the desk behind her.

“Okay we missed something, we need to go back over his staff and contributors again,” Emily said looking at Spencer beside her. 

“They all came up clean,” JJ said.

“Garcia, look up DMV records and find every registration in the area that matches the description on the unsub’s vehicle,” Derek said to Penelope over the phone. 

 “Okay, 79 names and I’m way ahead of you, none of them match anyone Preston’s team-” she stopped. “What the what? Oh. I’m good at my job. Pamela Mills donates monthly to Preston’s campaign. Her son Trevor, his car matches the description, and it’s registered in his name.”

“Got a photo and an address?” Y/N asked.

“Yes, I do. I also have a place of work for Trevor. He is a part-time messenger, I’m sending it now,” Penelope said pressing ‘enter’ on her keyboard aggressively. 

“Alright JJ, Morgan, and Prentiss take the workplace, we’ll take the house,” Hotch said dismissing everyone to go off. 

  ---------

“What do you have, Garcia?” Hotch asked as he sped down the road, lights on in case they were stopped. 

“Sir, I found the connection between the Mills family and Clark Preston. Ten years ago, the Mills were the victims of a home invasion. Robert Mills, the father, and 10-year-old Julie were killed. Pamela was raped, and now she has a lot of brain damage, that has left her in a near vegetative state,” Penelope said explaining the sad story of the family. 

“What about Trevor?” Spencer asked. 

 “He hid in the closet and when it was over, he called 911,” Penelope answered. 

“That’s why he stuffed that boy in the closet,” Hotch said referring to the last family that was killed.

“He was reliving his own victimization.” Y/N said in realization.

“He didn’t do that to the other children he murdered because he didn’t relate to them,” Rossi said. 

“Garcia was anybody convicted of the crime?” Hotch asked.

“Yes, a Ronnie Green and Carlos Jackson. Both African American, both serving like in Folsom,” Penelope said before she continued with her story. “And then after the murders, Preston, he financially supported the family almost entirely. “ 

“So they’re close, he’s known the family for years,” Rossi stated. 

“That must be how they’re paying Pamela’s medical expenses,” Spencer said. 

“Yeah, it would be really hard to cover with Trevor’s part-time messenger salary,” Y/N added looking to Spencer beside her. 

‘Yeah, I mean, it’s a top-flight policy,” Penelope said reading the health care bill.

“So Preston is playing the savior,’ Rossi said. 

“And it looks like that monthly donation, that Pamela makes to Preston's campaign, is her disability check,” Penelope added.

“My guess is Trevor authorized that because he feels beholden to Preston,” Rossi said piecing together why that would happen. 

 “He probably Idolizes him,” Y/N added. 

 “So Preston is manipulating the Mills family to further his own agenda, he’s behind everything,” Hotch said coming to the conclusion that Preston was part of it all along.

 “He took advantage of Trevor in a vulnerable state and made him trust and then brainwashed him,” Y/N said. 

“Turned him into a killer,” Spencer added. 

 “Uh, guys,” Penelope interrupted. “There’s something else, Preston bought the Mills home after the invasions.”

The tires came to a screeching halt as Hotch pulled up to the Mills house. The four hoped out of the car, taking out their guns and walked to the front door. 

 Hotch pounded on the door, “FBI!” 

When no answer came, Hotch pushed the door in and entered the threshold of the house. Y/N stood between Rossi and Spencer as they walked into the house. They then split up and looked around the house, Hotch and Rossi downstairs, Spencer and Y/N upstairs. 

  Y/N held her gun out in front of her as she entered a small guest room. She made sure the room was clear before walking out and meeting Spencer in the hall. 

“You find anything?” She asked while she holstered her gun on her hip. 

“Yeah, this note,” Spencer said as he inspected the note in his hand. 

“Come on, let’s go find Hotch and Rossi,” She said before they walked downstairs. 

 “He’s not here,” Y/N said as she walked into the room with Hotch and Rossi. Spencer close behind her. Pamela Mills was seen laying in the bed not moving but looking at the four by her door.  

“I found this in his bedroom,” Spencer said holding out the letter he found. “It’s addressed to her,” he said referring to Pamela.

“ ‘The price of peace is sacrifice, and I’m prepared to pay that price, no matter how high. I hope you’ll still love me.’ This is a goodbye letter,” Rossi said after reading the letter. 

“Or a suicide note,” Hotch countered. 

“He doesn’t profile as suicidal,” Spencer said in a hushed tone not wanting to disturb the woman in the bed. 

“No, but he knows this could be his final mission,” Rossi said. 

“He may want to go out in a blaze of glory,” Y/N said as she glanced at the woman in the bed. 

“It’s all about the election, he’s only got one move left, we need to secure Mayor Wennington, I’ll have the rest of the team find Hilary Ross,” Hotch said pulling out his phone to call Derek. 

They headed back out to the car and got an address for Mayor Wennington heading over to his house. Y/N walked up the front door, the three men with her following behind closely. 

“Mayor Wennington?” She asked when the door opened and a white-haired man in a loose-fitting tie answered.

“Yes,” he responded. 

“Hi, I’m Agent Y/N Y/L/N, this is Agent Hotchner, Rossi, and Dr. Reid, we’re with the FBI,” she said introducing the men behind her. 

“Is this about those recent murders?” The Mayor asked with concern. 

“Yes, sir, we have reason to believe you might be in danger, would you come with us,” she said gesturing to the car in his driveway, 

“Yes, of course, let me grab my coat,” he turned around and walked ten steps to a coat rack to grab his jacket before he headed out the door with them. 

“Yeah, Morgan,” Hotch said answering his phone while they walked to the SUV.

“We’re on our way to Hilary Ross’ house now, she’s still not answering her phone,” Derek said.

 “All right, call local police, he’s not going to go quietly,” Hotch ordered.

“You have Mayor Wennington?”

“Yeah, keep me posted,” Hotch said before hanging up. 

----------

The next day, Y/N pulled into Clark Preston’s campaign office parking lot with Rossi ready to arrest him. 

“You want to do the honors kid?” Rossi asked Y/N as they exited the vehicle they were in.

“Absolutely,” she said with a smile, her wish from the previous day coming true. 

“I hope this is a good enough birthday present,” Rossi said with a smirk looking at Y/N.

“Who told you? Penelope? I thought she would’ve dropped that by now,” she said with a laugh as she opened the door to the office.

The two agents walked back to the room where Preston was sitting. 

“Clark Preston you’re under arrest,” Y/N said as she walked over to the man sitting at his desk. She pulled him out of his seat and placed her handcuffs from her pocket on him. 

“For what?” He asked defensively. 

“For orchestrating the murders of the Mitchells, Lewis’, and others,” Rossi said as he and Y/N began to lead Preston out of his office. 

“What proof do you have?” He asked trying to find a way out of the situation. 

“Voicemails left by Trevor Mills,” Y/N said shoving him when he stopped walking.

“Voicemail messages? That’s ludicrous, that boy is mentally unstable, always has been,” Preston said. 

“Clark Preston you have the right to remain silent,” Y/N said, not only because she had to but because she really didn’t want to hear his pathetic excuses anymore.

“I’m Innocent!” He tried to protest. 

“And please feel free to exercise that right,” Rossi said grabbing Preston’s other arm as he tried to move out of Y/N’s grasp.

“Anything you say can, and will be used against you in a court of law, you have the right to an attorney, if you can’t afford one, one will be appointed to you,” She continued as Rossi opened the door and led them out. 

--------

“Come on, Spence please tell me where we are going,” Y/N asked, her arm linked with Spencer as they walked down the street. 

“I can’t do that Y/N, you know that,” he said as he led her further down the road. 

“Can you tell me if this has to do with my birthday?”

“Maybe.”

“Oh, come on, I told Penelope that we really didn’t have to do anything,” Y/N said as she shook her head. 

“Well, I learned that you need to let them have their moment with you, cause they’re the closest thing you’ve got to family here until you have your own,” Spencer explained to her as he looked at her with a smile.

Y/N sighed in defeat, knowing Spencer was right. 

“Oh look we’re here, can’t believe you didn’t notice where we were going before,” he said as he turned to Y/N’s favorite dive-bar in the downtown area of D.C. Spencer began to pull her inside but she stopped him before he could walk up the small stairs to go inside. 

“Wait- Spencer, before we go in, I have to do something,” she said pulling on his arm making him turn to her. 

“What is it?” He asked facing her with a curious look. 

She replied by placing her lips on his in a gentle kiss. It was a kiss that made both their stomachs do flips. His hands reaching up to grab her face as hers gripped the front of his coat. A year and a half's worth of bottled up feelings were expressed as Y/N deepend the kiss. 

“I just really wanted to do that,” she said to him after they pulled apart. A smile came on Spencer’s lips and he pulled her in again for a shorter but just as meaningful kiss. 

“I really like you Y/N,” he said face still close to hers. 

“I really like you too, Spencer,” she said back with a smile. “Come one let’s go in.” 

The happy couple walked into the bar seeing their friends standing in a corner to the left of the door. 

“There’s the birthday girl!” Penelope said as she saw Spencer and Y/N walk in. 

“Happy Birthday!” They all said. 

Y/N blushed as she approached the table, “Thanks, guys.” 

The team laughed, drank, and danced till the late hours of the night. Even Hotch laughed and gave Y/N a hug as they all danced to the music. A smile stayed on Y/N’s face the whole night as she danced with all her friends and drank happily. 

Spencer watched the woman he was beginning to fall in love with belt the lyrics to a Coldplay song that played through the speakers and dance with Penelope and JJ. Y/N looked over and saw Spencer staring at her at her and walked over to him. 

“You know it’s rude to stare,” she said with a giggle.

Spencer laughed, “I wasn’t staring.” The blush on his cheek told Y/N otherwise.

She quickly grabbed his arm and started to pull him onto the dance floor.  

“Oh no, I don’t dance really-” he tried to protest but Y/N wasn’t having it. 

“You do tonight!” 

She brought him to the dance floor Penelope and JJ yelling ‘Hi!’ over the music as they started to dance again. Y/N tried to help Spencer move less awkwardly and he eventually started to get the hang of it. Taking Y/N’s hand in his he spun her around and danced with her. A smile formed on their faces hoping the moment would never end.

tag list (let me know if you want to be added!!):

@throughparisallthroughrome​ @word-scribbless​ @nintendumbfuck​ @confused-and-really-hungry​ @justine-en​

[btssmutficslovingfan01]

Friendly Encounters- Chapter One

𝒮𝓊𝓂𝓂𝒶𝓇𝓎: A friend challenges you to go out of your comfort zone and talk to one of the cute boys at the café. However, after attempting to flirt with one of them, they reveal that they are in a relationship with each other. It’s fine, though, because you’re all friends now!

𝒢𝑒𝓃𝓇𝑒: Romance

𝑅𝒶𝓉𝒾𝓃𝑔: Fluff

𝒲𝒶𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈: Domestic Yoonmin, fluff, Jimin is literally too good for this world, barista boys, swearing, mild language, lots of character development, realistic insecurities, Jungkook makes a bad decision.

𝒲𝑜𝓇𝒹𝓈: 6k+

𝒫𝒶𝒾𝓇𝒾𝓃𝑔(𝓈): Jimin x Yoongi x Reader

Masterlist

Author Note: This story is available on my archiveofourown as well so go check it out!

⇤Prev | Next⇥

                             ______________________________

“Do it.” Your friend pushes you towards the incredibly adorable busboy as he passes by your table.

“No, it’s stupid.”

“Y/N, I dared you. Now you have to do it.” You roll your eyes.

“That’s not even how dares work.” You lay back in your chair, eyes drifting over to the two handsome men who now stand talking at the cash register.

“Okay, fine, if you can’t have a conversation, at least get his number! I’ll go for that cute barista over there with the sleepy eyes.” How can eyes be sleepy? You shrug as she confidently strides to the counter to order another drink. Jasmine has always been the type of girl to tell people what she’s feeling in the heat of the moment. You had no idea where she got her confidence from, it just happened one fine summer day in sixth grade. 

You’ve been best friends ever since you moved into the house across the street, along with Jaehyun and Jungkook. They are the non-identical twins that go to your school and the four of you were a group all through middle school. Things changed after highschool, Jae started hanging out with the wrong crowd and he moved out after saving up some drug money. 

Jungkook, on the other hand, is still a sweetheart, protecting you and Jasmine as if you were his sisters. Sometimes you wonder how you even became friends with this meth-head of a girl, but then you realize you’re the same, you both are crackheads and that’s why you’re best friends. You sometimes doubt your friendship when she tries to push you out of your comfort zone. You hate opening up to people, and Jasmine knows it. 

Yet, she still tries pushing you towards trying new things and being more extroverted. Your mind is already buzzing with a million different ways this can go wrong, but you’re surprised when the waiter approaches you with a smile on his face. I wonder if he’s truly happy or putting on a fake smile for the customers. You think to yourself. Sometimes you like to look at people and try putting together a life story for them. It helps your creative juices flow, as an amateur writer. 

“Can I get you anything else?” He asks with a refreshingly soft voice for a man. You’re a bit taken aback by his melodic tone, and how freaking adorable he sounds with his Korean accent. You can’t tell what dialect it is, because his English flows very well.

“Actually…” You look over at Jasmine, who gives you a thumbs up as she sips her Pink Drink. “Can I have your number?” The man’s eyes widen momentarily and his gaze flickers up to the barista at the counter.

“Oh...Miss I’m very flattered but...see that man over there?” You turn around and face the barista who is busy on his phone at the moment.

“The sleepy-eyed one?” You ask, knowing full well where this is going.

“Yeah, him. Um, that’s my boyfriend.” Your smile falters for a moment but you feel a sudden sense of relief. You were afraid he would actually flirt back and possibly be a douchebag but he is exactly what you hoped he would be. A decent person who won’t cheat on his partner.

“Oh, thank goodness,” Your reaction makes him raise his eyebrows. Normally girls would sigh or be sad that he’s taken/gay, but you’re the first one who’s ever reacted like that. “I mean, sorry. My friend just forced me to ask for your number because she wants me to make friends and step out of my comfort zone, and now I’m...sorry just nevermind.” You trail off, cutting off your pointless rambling as the busboy wipes your table slightly.

“Hm, you’re interesting. You know what, just for that attempt, I am going to give you my number.” He winks at you, sliding you a piece of paper. Did he always have that paper with him? You laugh as he walks away and Jasmine bolts back to your table, excited to hear the juicy details.

“You did it!” She screeches, making half of the people whip their heads around to stare at you. You blush and sink in your seat when you see the adorable busboy speaking to his boyfriend. Just when you’re about to tell Jasmine what happened, you see the sleepy-eyed man look at you with a glare. You bite your teeth and suck in your cheeks as Jasmine starts talking about her encounter. 

“Too bad, though. The sleepy dude just waved me away saying he already has a boyfriend.” She folds her arms. You stretch your legs, yawning a bit as you listen to your friend. “What? Am I boring you? Anyways, tell me what happened with the cute blue haired dude!” You giggle to yourself as your friend expected something more out of the interaction.

“Jasmine, he’s gay. And they’re-” You gesture to the two men talking behind the counter. “Together.” Jasmine sighs. You simply shake your head, flipping your hair to one side.

“Well, I guess my luck with men hasn’t changed. But at least they’re cute.” You giggle as your best friend sighs dramatically and then you move onto discussing other topics, like school. 

Just as you’re about to exit the café, you realize that you didn’t ask the cute busboy for his name. During the whole five minutes that you talked to him, you didn’t even introduce yourself?! Great job, Y/N. You turn around, reaching for the piece of paper in your pocket to find that he indeed did write his name down for you. Jimin. What a beautiful name for a beautiful boy. 

As you climb into the jeep that Jasmine’s parents bought for her 16th birthday, her phone rings, and she turns to you, puffing out her chest. You wiggle your eyebrows at her and then you both laugh after the awkward moment.

“It’s Jungkook.” She throws her phone at you, switching back to her “serious” persona.

“Whoa, what happened between you two for you to act this way?” You give Jasmine the stink eye as she caves under your pressure. She’s acting weird—weirder than usual. 

“Nothing, just...ugh.” She clicks her seatbelt in and starts backing out of the parking lot. 

“Jasmine, if you don’t tell me I’m gonna jump out the window. And we both know I’m not bluffing because I’m actually really short and this window is huge.” Her eyes widen in panic and her hands start shaking on the steering wheel.

“You see…..um ....Jungkook and I may or may not have gone all the way after a deep conversation about relationships.” I gawk at her, unable to process her words. 

Sure JK is a flirt, but he never would’ve moved past touching, seeing how he’s practically scared of girls. There was even a point in your middle school lives where Jasmine believed he was gay and started calling him her “gbf.” Yeah, that wasn’t greatly received by your homophobic class of 2020.

“Bitch, you did not.” You slap the dashboard, shaking your head in disbelief. You can see guilt written all over her face but what’s worse is the fact that you had a crush on him for the longest time and she had no clue about it. 

It’s not her fault, but sex can change a lot of things for different people. And you know despite whatever bullshit Jasmine tells you about it being a ‘one-time thing no feelings involved’ type deal, you know things are going to change between you, Jasmine, and Jungkook. 

You don’t know how anyone will react, since you’ve never been in this situation before. You just know that your best friend, without even knowing it, broke your heart in two. Including Jungkook’s, who is probably crying by himself at the moment.

Your silence is enough to shut her up, as she stops talking mid-sentence and plays an EXO song on her phone, hooked up to the lavish quality stereo system which is connected to her fancy Jeep Wrangler, the vibrations sending shivers down your spine but you assume that’s from your gut, twisting in disgust planning for revenge with Jasmine. She has no regard for feelings when it comes to sex, and you’re more worried about your other best friend at the moment.

“Drop me off at JK’s place.” Your command makes her flinch, and then her eyes widen when she digests what you said.

“You aren’t going to tell him that I told you, are you?” 

“Of course I’m gonna talk to him about it! While you’re over here thinking about how to end your friendship, that boy is probably breaking down in tears right now, or worse, binge eating and watching soapy K-dramas all alone!” 

You slam her car door shut, stepping out with your red converse basking in the sunlight. It’s so bright out today, a little bit chilly but otherwise nice. Too bad Jungkook’s having a rainy day. You knock on his door, and his brother opens the door.

“Hey baby. Wanna join me and my buddie-”

“Yeah, nice to see you too Jaehyun, is Jungkook home?” You ask, pushing past him and his stoner pals on the couch.

“He’s upstairs.” There’s not much that needs to be said when you walk into his room.

As expected, he’s lying in his bed, blankets wrapped around his entire body, forming a cocoon of some sort as he distracts himself from the real world, again. It’s like every breakup ever, as you have seen him do all sorts of crazy shit while being heartbroken. He’s dated so many people, but none of them were his close friends. This time, it’s different, and you can tell he’s hurting more.

“Did you see Jasmine?” Is the first thing he asks when he sees you.

“I was with her earlier and she told me some stuff happened between you guys. And now I’m here for you. Tell me what you need.” Jungkook slowly rises, and you can see his hair standing straight up from the static, and his normally bright eyes are colored red from crying, his cheeks are red and puffy, and he looks exhausted. Drained, in fact.

“I made a mistake. I started kissing her first, it was like the time after my breakup with Madi-” He cuts himself off. You shiver, beginning to remember his touch. You hadn’t slept with him, not in a sexual context, anyway. He only kissed you, and his hands slid down the small of your back, tracing circles with his thumbs. You can feel the strange sensation creeping up on you, and then it hits you like a wave. 

Jungkook is no longer the little boy that you once knew. He’s a grown man, and he can take care of you if you let him. But, you’re not that type of person. You would never take advantage of him, especially when he’s so vulnerable. “I promised myself I wouldn’t let it get in the way of our friendship, but after that night I knew we could never be just friends.” You take his clammy hands in your soft ones, kissing his fingers gently as tears threaten to spill from his eyes again.

“It’s okay, let it out.” You spend a good chunk of your time cuddling with him, and for a moment you imagine what life would be like if you actually started dating, but alas, he is too in love with your best friend. That’s how life is for you, you’ll always be a side character in a love story, and when it comes to love, guys always pick Jasmine. Guys talk to you because they see that you are friends with Jasmine. Girls invite you to sleepovers to ask you what you know about Jasmine, and worst of all, she stole multiple crushes from under your nose. But they were never truly yours to begin with. 

After arriving at your house after a long day spent consoling Jungkook, youlop down on your bed, scrolling through some texts. 

                   ༻• The Next Day, at Your Local Highschool •༺

“Jungkookie, are you feeling any better?” You make your way to your best friend but then you overhear him speaking to some people.

“Oh yeah, she was the best in bed, don’t let her tough smart-girl act fool you, she was amazing, so submissive for me.” You hoped they were talking about someone else, but when you stick your head past the lockers, checking for a split second, you see that it was none other than your sensitive friend who was speaking to a group of younger males.

“Wow, you’re so cool, Hyung. I thought Y/N was the hardest girl to pin down.” Wait, what?! You resist the urge to storm out, eavesdropping a bit longer to see if you misheard things.

“Yeah boys, she came to me while I was playing Overwatch in my room and then she offered. Just straight up asked if I could fuck her.” You slam your fist against a locker and then you clench your teeth, about to confront him when the bell rings. 

It’s 5th period. You don’t have a class because you have a release period. You instinctively check your phone, making sure you didn’t miss any important texts or calls before running out. You don’t know who to trust, or who to go to, as you lost your two best friends within the span of less than 24 hours. People suck.

Then you get a text, as you park your car in front of the coffee shop.

You don’t text back, hoping to surprise him. You forgot to ask him about his work hours but you assumed he worked part-time everyday or something. As you walk up to the counter, you see him standing there, with a bright smile on his lips and crescent-shaped eyes.

“Ah, what a surprise! Hello, valued customer.” His playful attitude is enough to light up your day. 

“Hey Jimin. Sorry for dropping in but I couldn’t think of anywhere else to go, c-can we talk?” You stutter, not realizing you were slurring your words together. Jimin nods, obviously worried about his new friend.

“What happened yesterday?” He takes you to the back of the café, an area where there are less people and you have more privacy. 

“You know the friend that was here with me yesterday?” He nods, allowing you to grip his hand and squeeze it for comfort. He’s a really kind person, letting you open up to him without judgement. “She slept with another good friend of mine and ghosted him. And yesterday I went to his house and we talked about it and he cried on my shoulder, but today…” 

You feel tears threatening to spill from your eyes. “...He was talking about what a good lay I was, lying about sleeping with me to a group of underclassmen.” 

Your breathing is uneven as Jimin stares directly at you, keeping his gaze strictly on you. You feel naked, exposed, and vulnerable. But his reassuring smile makes you feel a little bit better. Just a little bit.

“Hey, break’s over, get out there.” You see the same man from yesterday, the guy who Jimin claimed was his boyfriend. He looks like the polar opposite of your mellow friend, with a darker aura radiating from him. 

You feel like a deer under a lion’s gaze, as he closes in on you, backing you into your corner, making you feel even more vulnerable than before.

You only hoped he wouldn’t try to chase you away, as yesterday he gave you a very uncouth glare, displaying his annoyance with your friendship with Jimin.

You hope with time he will be able to accept you and possibly become a friend of yours as well, but for now, you can only run with your tail tucked between your legs. Just as you’d been running away from your so-called best friends in school. 

You were even considering running to Jaehyun and trying one of his edibles, since he had offered a generous amount of times; it would only be courteous of you to finally accept and try it, as you’d been hearing “don’t try it, don’t try it,” your whole life. 

You don’t care anymore, and hopefully under Jimin’s wing you will be able to learn about true friendship. 

“Aren’t you the girl who asked for Jimin’s number yesterday?” His surprisingly solemn tone catches you off guard, as his eyes tell another story. Maybe that’s just the way he is, physically a very intimidating person but on the inside he might be a fluffy kitten! Okay, maybe not a total kitten, but still squishy. Why else would Jimin date him? He has to be a decent person, unlike all the people you called your friends.

“I am, thanks for noticing. Is there anything you wanted to tell me?” You try to sound as non-threatening as possible, holding your breath, waiting for an answer. You hoped Yoongi didn’t see you as a boyfriend-stealer, nor a generally annoying person.

“No, just wanted to ask you if you need anything else, an iced coffee, some tea...pink lemonade?” His lame attempt at cheering you up makes you crack a smile after a while. 

“Maybe some water? I’m a little bit thirsty.” 

“Coming right up,” After filling up a glass with water, he slides into the seat across from you, whipping out his phone and humming a tune of a familiar song you recognized from the radio. “I’m on break. This time of the day, things get a bit slow.” You nod in understanding, respectfully keeping your legs crossed and your arms folded in your lap, not wanting to show any sign of weakness.

“What song are you listening to?” You ask, hoping to make some small talk.

“Uncomfortable by Chase Atlantic. It’s my go-to after a stressful day.” You shift in your seat when you hear that name. You absolutely adore that band, and the lead singer’s vocals are absolutely heavenly. You could go on for hours, but you don’t want him to know that yet.

“Oh, that’s...cool I guess.” You try not to jump

up and down in joy as that’s a lesser known band and not very many people know about them.

“Do you know this song?” He leans forward, sliding you his phone and showing you the cover of an old album, one you recognize to be “Don’t Try This,” and the song is GREENGREENGREEN. Their song titles are a bit questionable, but they are true works of art, so you can let it pass.

“I suppose I’ve heard it once or twice…” You trail off, watching how the curve of his smooth lips turn upwards, and carefully, you watch how he mouths the words.

“All I see is green yuh

Moving on your seat yuh yuh yuh

All I see is green, All I see is green, All I see is green.” You smirk, slowly singing the next part.

“It's green where the grass grows

Let the cash flow

You can keep your head high, keep that ass low,” You laugh, the man across from you grinning at how weirdly you sang the lyrics.

You and Yoongi continue listening to Chase Atlantic songs together late into the evening hours. It’s around seven in the evening and the air is cool and humid.

“You have amazing taste in music, I’ve never met anyone else who listens to Chase Atlantic with such passion! Jimin’s an Alec Benjamin person but I always tell him they have similar music styles…” He trails off suddenly, worrying you with the pace of his cutoff. “Listen, I had a lot of fun talking to you. And at first I really didn’t get why Jimin wanted to get to know you better but now I see what he saw. You’re cool, Y/N.” You’re more surprised he remembered your name.

“Thanks Yoongi.” You share a moment of silence, just smiling at each other as Jimin makes his way back to your table.

“It’s time for me to clock out, we’re closing soon.” He slides into the seat across from you, next to Yoongi, and you watch as Yoongi expertly sneaks his arm around his boyfriend’s shoulder, and you feel small fireworks bursting in your heart. It’s not a weird feeling of jealousy, per say, but rather you feel mellow. You like seeing them together. You like this. 

“Feels like just yesterday I walked in here and you gave me black coffee instead of an iced vanilla mocha because you were distracted by my sexiness.” Jimin girlishly flips his hair, and the three of you share a laugh before the lights start flickering. 

“What’s going on?”

“Looks like there’s something wrong with the power. Jin!!! Did you mess with the electrical again?!” Yoongi runs back inside the kitchen, making sure everything is fine.

“We’re good, just a minor fix,” you hear the voice of another man from inside. You and Jimin exchange worried looks as the lights stay on for a total of 1.032342352 seconds and then they just turn off completely.

“Dammit, stupid thunderstorm outside caused a power outage through town.” You heard Yoongi cursing from the kitchen before he opened the door and stumbled outside back to you.

“Well, when are the lights gonna come back on?” You ask, clutching onto the table as you sink back on the wooden surface.

“News reports say power lines are under service and will be back in function in an hour.” Jimin shows you the article, making you shiver from the thought of spending the night at the café. You most probably won’t have to do that, since your car is right outside and you can just drive home. But do you really want to face your neighbors after a really tough day of school? No. Your bets are that they will probably try to infiltrate your home, failing are trying to “make it up to you.” You’ve lost any trust you had in them before, Jungkook and Jasmine really screwed up this time.

“It’s cold, isn’t it?” Jimin sounds steady, but you can faintly see the outline of his striped shirt and how his muscles contract as he shivers right in front of you. You admire him for putting up the dauntless act, but it doesn’t help as the sound of his teeth clashing give it all away.

“Here, take my jacket. I’m not that cold.” You offer him your coat and he hesitantly slips it over his shoulders. He doesn’t wear it, afraid of stretching out the expensive material and risking threat or wearing it out. 

“Thanks.” 

“Hey guys, can you come in here please? We need help with the door.” You and Jimin carefully make your way to the pantry, which is at a door at the end of the kitchen. You’d never been inside one in a restaurant, but you assumed it was the same as your school. The kitchen was the darkest room, but thanks to the dim lighting from Jimin’s phone, you safely arrived at the end of the path.

“What are you doing now?” You see a second man, taller than Yoongi and Jimin combined, holding a large box.

“We’re just taking this inside. This stuff is smelly, so we make sure they stay sealed in the pantry until we need them,” The older man has a charming smile, and you can already tell he is a gentleman. He looks a little bit older than you, but you can tell by his mannerisms that he’s a bit older. “And hi, I’m Jin.” He introduces himself, winking at you as he walks past, with Yoongi rolling his eyes at the lame flirting attempt. You thought it was cute.

“Coming through! Move over babe.” Yoongi warns Jimin, who holds the door open while you watch over his shoulder, making sure he doesn’t fall back. Not that you will be of any help.

“Oh crap, I think I forgot something in the kitchen!” You and Jimin make your way into the pantry, shrugging at the way Jin quickly left his post.

“So...what’s exactly in the box?” Your curiosity seems to know no limits as you keep asking questions, over and over again. Yoongi and Jimin, however, find it amusing.

“Vinaigrette. All the same type, same brand.” Yoongi dusts his hands and walks back to the closed door, wrapping his fingers around the cool metal knob before turning it….to find that it doesn’t open. 

“What’s wrong, hyung?” Jimin asks, wrapping your jacket around him more tightly. You sigh at his adorable pout. But of course, you try to ignore their moment, focusing on your phone instead. Your battery is at 8% already, and you need to save as much power as you can. However, you also need to distract yourself.

“It won’t open.” You stand up. You’ve hated small spaces since you were a little girl and you refuse to get stuck in a food pantry with two insanely attractive men. What if you run out of oxygen? It’s not them, it’s you.

“Whoa, are you okay?” Yoongi notices your mini panic attack, as you pant heavily, now looking for some sort of opening to crawl through. You need to escape.

“I need to get out!” You shudder as the dim lighting of your phone suddenly disappears. Your phone just died. What the fuck are you going to do now?!

“We’re fine, we just need to call Jin,” Yoongi knocks on the door, and you all stay quiet to hear any feedback. What you didn’t know was that Jin had gone out to run errands and he wouldn’t be back until much later.

“Let me text him.” Luckily, Jimin’s phone has enough power to send one text. Jin replies quickly, telling Jimin that he’ll be back in half an hour, maybe even later because of the horrible weather.

“Looks like we’ll be stuck here for awhile.” Yoongi sits down on the floor first, making himself comfortable between two flour bags. You and Jimin make yourselves comfortable on the floor, shrugging as you snuggle into some things but the lights are off so you have no idea where you’re sitting. Your eyes are adjusted to the darkness, so you can see the faint outlines in the pitch darkness. 

Then you think of all the things that happened today. How you overheard Jungkook telling people lies, and how heartlessly Jasmine let go of him (even though he partially deserved it), and all of the lies and betrayal. Jasmine has cheated on a lot of her past boyfriends, but for some reason you thought she would treat Jungkook differently. And Jungkook just cares about fitting in. You wish you could forget it all and go back to being friends, but you are just so, so sad. They broke your heart. You don’t know if you can trust anyone else ever again. You silently sob, hoping they wouldn’t notice.

But your stupid sniffles give you away. 

“Are you..crying?” Jimin asks after a long silence.

“No…” You wipe your tears and turn to his voice.

“Tell us what’s wrong.” Yoongi’s warmth creates an almost suffocating feeling in the air as your breathing falters and you feel very disconnected from your environment. You can’t even tell if your eyes are open or not because of how long you’ve been trapped. It’s driving you mad. The only thing keeping you sane are the two men sitting in front of you...or behind you. You can’t tell anymore.

“I just want my friends back. And I want to believe that everything will be alright but lately...everything’s been horrible! Life just keeps throwing one obstacle after another and I just want to believe that everything will be okay but it isn’t! My best friend slept with my other best friend and now everything’s weird between the three of us, and my other friend decided to tell everyone that we’re screwing. I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING! Everything is spiraling out of control and I can’t do shit,” You breathe heavily and silence follows, as the boys allow you to catch your breath, not inputting anything just yet. “Thanks for letting me rant. I just needed to let that out, I guess.” You bite your bottom lip, and you can smell the anticipation in the air as the boys wait for their turn to speak.

Oh wow, now you’ve robbed them of their words. Aren’t you the best friend ever.

“Can I say something?” Jimin waits for a moment before dictating his thoughts, “It sounds like you were just thrown into a random mess that had nothing to do with you directly.” He says, earning a cough from Yoongi. Luckily, the sleepy-eyed man is kind enough to cough in his sleeve (ugh corona) and he says, “I agree with Jimin. And that guy sounds like a bitch boy. I’m pretty sure he’s one of those coconut headed e-boy wannabes. Or just a plain fuckboy.” You scrunch your nose. “Jungkook isn’t like that.” 

“Oh, with a name like that he’s bound to have a talent. Maybe he dances really well? Lemme guess, he’s a really good singer but is as shy as a goat.” You didn’t know goats were shy. Yoongi seems knowledgeable, so you don’t question him.

“He’s a good singer, alright, but he wants to be a progamer when he graduates.” You reveal it to them, all of a sudden going off on a tangent about your childhood crush and best friend.

“It sounds like you guys are close,” Jimin whispers in a hushed voice, so quietly that you almost miss him. “And from what I can tell, he’s insecure and wants people to think he’s cool. So he used you, as stupid as it was, I think he’s worth fighting for.” You feel a sudden lightness in your chest, like you just confessed something you felt guilty about. It’s as if he’s in your head, and he understands exactly what you’re going through.

“Jimin and I actually got together because of a misunderstanding in the first place, if he hadn’t fought for us, who knows where he might’ve ended up?” You can’t see what Jimin does exactly, but you assume that his face is scrunched up into a cute cringe of sorts, anything that man does is adorable.

“My parents would’ve forced me to become a pastor. They aren’t exactly the most open-minded people...coming out to them was the hardest thing I ever did. And luckily, Yoongi was with me all through the process after they disowned me and threw me out of the house. I guess I lost my biological family but I ended up with something even better.” You feel your lips turn upward, the first feeling you’ve experienced since sadness. You feel hopeful, and happy that the two men can freely be together without judgement from those around them. 

You feel slightly jealous as well, since their relationship worked out and yours with Jungkook are in shambles. Maybe it’s not too late to fix this, but seeing as he hadn’t even sent you as much as a “Good morning” text, you decided it was better to leave him alone for now. The darkness is not only making you blind; it’s making you unempathetic. You do feel a bit of fear though, as the sense of not knowing what else might be in here with you is overwhelming and you literally want to curl into a ball and cry. “Your breathing is heavy again...are you okay?” Yoongi’s voice soothes you as you slowly recover from the mini-panic attack. You don’t know if you can take it anymore.

“Sorry, I’m just a little claustrophobic.” You hear some shifting as Yoongi makes himself more comfortable.

“Oh shit, I forgot about Jin,” Jimin pulls out his phone, as it vibrates with a text. Your vision is blurry, but you can see his face with the help of the dim light from his device. “Jin said he’s running late in traffic. We might be stuck for a little longer.” You snap, reaching for the closest thing to you, standing up on your two wobbly legs.

“I can’t do this! I’m going crazy, I need to get out! Anything...away….can’t breathe!” You start taking deep breaths, slightly embarrassed at showing the two boys you barely know your weak side. Of course, they are absolute sweethearts about it.

“Honja jjujeo anja

Saenggag man keojyeoga

Eonjebuteo neon nal apeuge haessdeonga

Neo jochado moreujanha,” He slowly makes his way behind you, snaking his arms around your shoulders in a very intimate manner.

“Neodo apeujanha 'cause you’re mine

I just want to blow your mind

Ireohge neon tto meoleojyeo man ganeunde,” You close your eyes and sink into his embrace, swaying in a movement that could only be described as heaven. His voice is heaven. 

“I want you to be your light, baby

You should be your light

Deoneun apeuji anhge

Nega useul su issge

I want you to be your night, baby

You could be your night

Ibami neoege soljighal su issge…” He trails off, leaving you feeling speechless from listening to his honey-like voice. The song is also new, something you’ve never heard. You clap, astounded by his vocals.

“That was amazing!!! Thank you so much for doing that.” You can almost picture the cute blush on his cheeks as you praise him, but you aren’t going to let him know that.

“No problem.” As you both share a moment, Yoongi finds a supposed way out.

“Look, there’s a duct back here. Should one of us go through and see if they can let the others out?” You and Jimin share a look of suspicion but you volunteer anyways. 

“I guess I’ll do it. Seems logical.” You get to your hands and feet, and Jimin gives you his phone, tenderly. There’s a gentleness in his eyes and through the blinding light of the flashlight on his phone, you could see his pupils dilate slightly. For a moment, it’s just you and him, as the rest of the world fades to black. You snap out of your daze when Yoongi coughs into his arm again, and you prepare to crawl into a dusty duct that’s been closed for decades.

You eventually find an exit, and you’re surprised at how long Jimin’s battery life was. It was only at 49%, despite him using his phone for half the time you were together. He must’ve charged it to the full 100%. You find a screw loose on another duct, opening it with ease and slipping into the kitchen. And then when you shine your flashlight, you realize your location. 

You quickly run to the locked door and find that opening it from the outside is a piece of cake. The two men are thankful, but they still complain about the power. Jimin texts Jin that all of you got out, and he just tells you to go home.

The time is about 9:41, 2 hours later than you’d hoped to go home. Nonetheless, you had fun spilling your heart to these two wonderful men. You’ve never felt so close with a pair of strangers, but you can tell these two will become an important part of your life very soon.

                                     ༻• At your House •༺

“Where were you?” Your mother yells as you walk through the door, and you put your bag on the floor, flopping face down on the couch.

“I was at a café but then there was a power outage and I got stuck in a food pantry.” You nonchalantly tilt your head upwards at your mom, as her look of anger changes into one of worry.

“How did you get out?” She asks, bringing you a cheese sandwich. You plug in your phone upside down, but it’s okay because you can see the logo pop up after a minute.

“I crawled through a duct. It was fun but dusty. Oh, sorry for not texting you. My phone died.” She raises an eyebrow.

“Y/N...is there something you’re not telling me?” You fold your arms, whining like a baby. “Was there someone else with you?” You nod, not wanting to tell your mom in detail. “Okay, I’m not gonna ask any more questions. But earlier Jungkook came by, he wanted to talk to you in person. After he left, Jasmine dropped by an hour ago, saying she wanted to see you too. Did something happen between the three of you?” You sigh, turning right-side up on the couch, resting your head on your mother’s shoulder.

“Mom, can I please just go to bed? I don’t feel so good.” Instead of pestering you to tell her, she complies with your wishes, leaving you alone to go into the kitchen.

“Oh, I forgot to tell you, I started renting the top floor of our house to two nice young men. They’ll stay with us, and we can get money.” You raise your eyebrows at her, not believing her fully. Your mom was never the type of person to do that. You had suggested it in the past, but she had never fully gone through with plans before. Especially big ones.

“And why did you agree to it?”

“Because they are so charming, Y/N, when I put the ad up, they immediately responded, saying that they’d do all the housework and help cook, and take care of the house as if it was theirs, even though they are paying to stay in one room.” You grab your backpack and make your way upstairs. After finishing your nighttime routine, you tuck yourself in and retire for the night.

You wake up with the sudden urge to pee. So, you run to the bathroom only to find a very unexpected sight. The same man with the crescent shaped eyes when he smiles is standing in your bathroom, brushing his teeth.

“J-Jimin?” He turns his head, looking at you with wide eyes.

“Y/N? What are you doing here?” 

“I live here!”

“Me too!” Dear God, what has your mother done?

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Well, I’m done rewatching season 2 of south park and I’ve taken plenty of notes and screenshots to document all the facts and tidbits I thought were interesting or just funny. Under the cut is a collection of notes where I progressively start caring more and more about fake children

Kenny’s house is full of empty bottles, his family eats frozen waffles for dinner, and his dad is drinking at the dinner table

Kenny’s and Kyle’s dads have some history. They were best friends as teenagers

Kenny’s dad is kind of anti-Semitic, he says Kyle’s dad was successful because he’s Jewish

Cartman kind of expresses agreement with Stuart’s anti-Semitism, which I think is the first time Cartman’s been clearly anti-Semitic

Kenny’s house has rats, but his room has lights that shut off when you clap twice

WOW KYLE wtf he says “Kenny's not really my friend, Ma. I don't give a rat's ass about him.” FUCKING RUDE

Kyle and Kenny have a fun little sleepover where they play “ookie mouth”, a game where they take turn spitting in each other’s mouths. This episode (S02E10 Chickenpox) is great for fans of K2 despite how absolutely disgusting ookie mouth is

The McCormick house was something Stuart and Gerald built as teenagers. A fort in Stuart’s mom’s backyard

Gerald went to community college

Gerald and Stuart have a fun fist fight by a pond

Kyle makes a haiku: Fatass Cartman was / not on the school bus today. / What a big, fat turd.

Kenny makes a haiku: When you rub your dick, / you might find a discharge that / winds up on the floor.

Kyle makes another: Ass full of pork fat / jiggles like a Jello mold. / Mouth is flapping, too.

And another by Kyle: I bet you don't win. / They don't let big fat asses / perform on TV.

Cartman responds: Shut your God-damned mouth / or else I'm... gonna... kick you / square in the balls... asshole

I spy with my desperate eye the beginnings of Craig’s gang, featuring Kenny with wonky eyes

Bebe thinks Kyle has a hot ass and she’s not shy about saying it

Bebe writes a note to Kyle, and Stan tries to pass it on but Mr. Garrison thinks it’s Stan’s note for Kyle and makes him read it out loud. So he reads: “Dear Kyle. You have got such a great ass. I could sleep for days on those perked cheeks, let me tell you. I'd like to live with you and wear your ass as a hat for all eternity.” (If that happened to me I’d be embarrassed forever)

POV: You’re Stan and you just said you love Kyle’s juicy ass in front of the whole 3rd grade class

The first time Stan’s mom and dad get a divorce is in S02E12, way sooner than I remembered

Bebe kisses Kyle when they’re playing truth or dare in their clubhouse, probably Kyle’s first kiss. Kyle thinks it’s disgusting (despite having played ookie mouth with Kenny which is arguably more disgusting)

Bebe breaks up with Kyle and goes off with Clyde, who says “Bitchin’ 😎”. Later Clyde is with Bebe, Stan, and Wendy at the club house

Cartman and Kyle have a fist fight once again. Kyle hated Cartman way more than Stan did very early on, kind of all along really, they truly were destined to be arch enemies

Kenny has food stamps

Oh, and Cartman’s made poor jokes about Kenny and twice (I think) Kenny has punched him in retaliation in the past 2 seasons. Kenny’s family is probably a bad and violent example for him

By the way, if you’ve ever wondered what Kenny says in the theme song but never looked it up, in seasons 1-2 he sings “I like girls with big fat titties, I like girls with deep vaginas” but in the remastered versions of seasons 1-2 (which is the version I’m watching) they changed it to the season 3-5 lyrics: “I have got a ten-inch penis, use you mouth if you wanna clean it”.

When an evil twin version of Cartman says nice things, Stan, Kyle, and Kenny stare at him in horror. Stan says, “Dude, this is creepy.”

Also, the boys say dude a lot. At least Stan, Kyle, and Kenny do, Cartman not as much

Kenny’s mom hits him when he’s hogging the blanket from his brother. Kenny makes a sad face and it made me feel bad :(

When evil twin Cartman comes to give the McCormicks some supplies, Kenny’s dad asks if that was his “fat, racist, foul-mouthed friend” so Cartman clearly has a reputation

When Stan gets scared of his evil fish, he wakes Shelly up and she slaps him. Their mom sees it and says nothing

But on the other hand his mom buries a body that Stan’s fish killed because she thinks he killed it so I guess she’s not entirely a bad mom

Kenny was supposed to buy a pumpkin for Halloween but he could only afford a squash and his friends are really mean about it. The more I watch the more I feel bad for Kenny (and Stan)

Cartman kind of has a shitty friendship with Kenny. He says “I hate you Kenny” because of the squash

Kyle is really annoyed by Cartman saying “hella” all the time, nobody else is as annoyed

Evil Cartman sings a cute little song while wielding a knife: You guys / are my best friends, / through thick and thin, / we've always been together! / We're four of a kind, / having fun all day, / palling around and laughing away. / Just best friends, / best friends are we!

Stan still has his dog, Sparky, in season 2

After Stan’s fish kills Kenny, Kenny’s mom comes over to ask about her son and she’s drunk and upset. Honestly seeing Kenny die all the time makes me kind of sad

Stan says Kenny’s squash isn’t a bad little squash. Very heartwarming. The squash gets first prize at the pumpkin carving contest :)

Cartman’s grandma and extended family live in Nebraska

When the boys go to Cartman’s family to have Christmas dinner, Kenny’s dad tells him to take any leftovers and bring them back home (he does it very gently and Kenny just says “okay” and why do I care that this fake child dies all the time and barely has food at home, like why the fuck do I care so much???)

Cartman’s mom is wearing glasses when she drives. She doesn’t do it in the later seasons but maybe she has contacts

Cartman and his mom sing a road trip song for 4 hours. Kyle says “please stop” but when they ignore him, he kicks Cartman’s seat and makes Cartman hit his head

Stan has a complicated relationship with his family, he says they’re dead to him because they didn’t want him to go on a road trip to Nebraska so Stan went without telling them

Kenny doesn’t eat at the dinner table with Cartman’s family, he just shoves the food in a bag :( I feel so bad for him

Stan, Kyle, and Kenny all hit Cartman after they wake in the night to make sure they’re not dreaming

Under his coat, Cartman wears a pink tank top that says BEEFCAKE. He wore it in S1E02 Weight Gain 2000

Charles Manson invites Kenny to go to a more secluded location and Kenny just says okay and goes, but honestly he should know better since he’s aware that he keeps dying

Cartman bonks his cousin Elvin on the head and gives him brain damage. Elvin gets better though

THE NEXT EPISODE IS GNOMES!!! TWEEEEEK!!!!

Token gets named when he’s put in a group with Wendy, Bebe, Clyde, and Pip. Craig’s gang is getting closer to becoming a thing!!

IT’S OUR FUCKING BOY TWEEK TWEAK BITCH YEEEEAAAH

Tweek says he’s awake at 3:30am because he can’t sleep, ever

Jesus, Tweek’s dad kind of sucks immediately. He says he might have to sell Tweek to slavery if his coffee shop goes out of business

Cartman says Kenny’s family is happy being poor and on welfare, “right, Kenny?” and Kenny says “fuck you” which is completely justified

When the underpants gnomes don’t appear, Tweek is worried he’s going insane and pulls on his hair

His parents say Tweek is jittery and anxious just because he has ADD (but the kind of severe jitteriness and anxiety Tweek has isn’t a symptom of primarily inattentive ADHD, even though people with ADHD do experience restlessness and can even have some tics and are more likely to have anxiety as a comorbid disorder than a neurotypical person is, but I mean come on, we all know Tweek’s slurping way too much coffee so even if he has ADHD beneath all that, his parents should stop giving him coffee and they definitely should not start lacing it with meth. Basically what I’m saying is that Tweek’s parents are full of shit)

Actually Tweek’s mom is kind of okay. She tells Tweek’s dad that he’s being shitty for using kids to advance his agenda. But… the agenda is against big corporations and I hate to say it but Tweek’s dad kind of has a point

Ew, the boys are giving a pro big corporations speech. That aged really poorly considering how shitty billionaires are

Aww, look at Kenny! He got scared of a crocodile that Steve Irwin is about to bother by jamming his thumb up its butthole

The boys are really excited about Steve Irwin jamming his thumb up a crocodile’s butthole

Oh my God, Kyle calls Cartman a fatass penis

Kenny is a mediator between Stan and Kyle. They ask him which one found this ice man in a cave first, but Kenny just deflects and agrees with Kyle’s name suggestion (Steve) for the ice man

I kind of like Dr. Mephesto. I’m glad he came back for Fractured But Whole

Stan and Kyle are having a terrible fight about who found the ice man. Kyle says they’re not best friends anymore and that Cartman is his new best friend and Cartman says “Sweet!”, then Stan claims Cartman as his new best friend and Cartman says “Killer!”

This prehistoric ice man episode is actually funny, I love it

Stan and Kyle are having a fight to the death

They reconcile and become best friends again. They both agree that Cartman’s a sucky best friend

Well, that was the last episode of the season. This was fun. South Park is actually a fun show

Kenny deaths:

S02E10 Kenny is in the hospital because of chicken pox. He laughs at Cartman’s joke so hard that his heart flatlines like beeeeeeeeeeeeeep

S02E11 Kenny’s head explodes after Stan and Kyle make him watch planetarium lights at a high intensity

S02E12 Kenny gets trampled in a mosh pit

S02E13 A cow impales Kenny’s head with its horn

S02E14 Ozzy Osbourne bites Kenny’s head off

S02E15 Kenny is killed by Stan’s evil fish, he gets spun in the fish tank until the water’s red

S02E16 The police shoot Kenny who came outside with a white flag during a hostage situation, then the police hit his dead body with a baton and handcuff him

S02E17 Kenny gets crushed by the underpants gnomes’ mine cart. The gnomes are horrified but Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Tweek are kinda like whatever

S02E18 Kenny gets squished underneath a conveyer belt

Onto the next season I go. I’ll watch the movie too since it was released around halfway through season 3