#No Jess

[saltygilmores]

Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls, Season 2, Episode 9, "Run Away Little Boy". Part 2

You can read my previous reviews here.

If you have to keep repeating something out loud like this, it probably isn't true. Every time Rory or Lorelai say Rory's relationship with Dean is "a really good thing going right now", God plucks a whisker off a kitten. TWWGG= We Make Weird Metaphors.™

The Time Traveler hath returned (after a stop for a quick shave, apparently). I forgot to add that in the middle of all this DL/Rory/Dean drama, Lorelai went on her date with TT and had fun but twas not meant to be but she was happy to discover she could Date Casually ™ after Max.

A crystal clear Tomatos Sign spotting! Lorelai to Rory, who is stifling laughter: What? Say it! Rory: Nothing, I always wanted a little brother. Lol. And we have another scene for the Rory's Bizarre Food-Related Habits Hall of Fame. Rory picks up her burger and walks out of the diner without putting it into a to-go box. Is this the neatest burger ever that doesn't drip grease or ketchup? Like the time she walked out with a piece of French toast in her hand with no syrup dripping down her uniform? Luke's Diner Motto: Do You Think We're Made of To Go Boxes Or Something? Carry Your Own Food.™

I kind of look like Lorelai right now after the suffering this episode has put me through. Lorelai apparently talked about Luke on her date with Time Traveler or at least has mentioned Luke on some other occasion. Time Traveler even knew about Rachel. STOP. EVERYTHING. A MIRACLE HAS JUST OCCURED IN STARS HOLLOW! LORELAI PAID FOR HER FOOD!

Luke In My Gritty Gilmore Girls Reboot titled "The Hollow": "You are hereby banned from this establishment. Get the fuck out."

God, Dean is so creepy. And not to say I'm an expert on Shakepeare, but Tristan reciting Shakespeare was...wow. That was some of the worst line reading I've ever heard, ChadMIchaelMurrayDietLogan.

The lips are getting reaaaal thin!

While looking straight at Dean, making Rory panic that he's about to tell Dean about their kiss, but he turns it around and pretends he was just talking about a scene from the play. Sneaky, disgusting, an absolutely vile piece of dog shit either way.

Honestly if I were Rory the sweet release of death would be preferable to being alive and having to suffer these two Butts With A Capital B.

Let's all Take Five and have an Ancient Cellphone Break.

Lips are realllly thin. Practically invisible.

I don't know how much longer I can tolerate this shit stain talking to Rory like this. How is this the fourth or fifth time I've suffered through this show? Why am I doing this to myself? Am I that masochistic? I'm in pain. Dean is such a piece of shit that I am concerned for Jared Padalecki himself, in the same way that Milo Ventimiglia's mother thought he had suffered some kind of unspoken childhood trauma because he played dark villains so believably. Are you ok, JarPad? How are you this believably awful?

This is horrible. I want to shut it off. There are 9 minutes left in the episode. Ugggggggggh. Poor Rory. PUNCH HIM! PUNCH HIM! YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO! The next episode is the Bracebridge Dinner. My second favorite episode and a shining beacon of of light, joy, minimal drama, and Jess galore in his ugly brown winter coat. You can do this, TWWGG. You can do this.

Oh my god my blood is just BOILING right now.

Portrait of the author.

Let's take turns. Something should absolutely fall on your head, but also, I really need something big to fall on mine right now. I would welcome the sweet, sweet unconcious state where when I wake up this episode is over and I'm watching The Bracebridge Dinner. (Context: Lorelai is annoyed because everyone is calling her a pedophile). (Because of her date with the Time Traveler, not because she's absolutely having an affair with 17 year old Dean Forrester). Luke is grumpy with her for going on a date with this guy. Jealous or something. Whatever. I'm tired of these men. Sure, Jess has not made any appearance in this episode yet. But with 5 and half minutes left to go, my pain and suffering is about to be rewarded in other ways. With one tiny scrap and one medium scrap to gnaw on and one big, big juicy hunk of meat. Justice, thy name is Amy Sherman Palladino! (and Chad Michael Murray leaving for another TV show). The small scrap:

Lane's face while she's watching Henry. My girl is feeling things. Stirring, yearning, Un-Christian things. The medium scrap: Paris taking Diet Logan's part as Romeo to Rory's Juliet. Sweet. And the big one:

DIET LOGAN IS GONE!!!!! GONE GONE GONE GONE!!!!!!!! WHO CARES WHY!!! HE BROKE INTO A SAFE OR SOMETHING WHO CARES!!! GOODBYE!!!! *PUNTS HIM IN THE ASS*

Look at Dean creeping again in the background!!! But I'm so happy we're back down to only one clown instead of two!!!! Wait, there's still Christopher. Still two clowns left. God damn it. #ClownMath He's getting shipped off to military school lol he'll be eaten alive probably lol BYE

Don't let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya #BYE "Take care of yourself Mary." Ahahah I won't have to hear anyone call Rory a stupid nickname again because I'm not watching this show past season 4 ever again and I won't have to suffer through Full Calorie Logan calling her "Ace" yay!

Ahhhh. *breathes in* Everything just feels...a little more right once more.

A sea of confusion.

Dean: Did you and Paris actually kiss or was that just a stage thing? Shut up. The episode ends on a sweet little note of Luke & Lorelai talking about how they can rely on each other. Not even a drop of Jess in this episode. Not even a shot of him in the background cleaning the counters. Nothing, zip, nada. But... BRACEBRIDGE DINNER NEXT!

[breathless-songbird]

.

[honestlydarkprincess]

i love this character so much......i hope they get seriously injured and almost die

[qrowpilled]

hate when you find a character whose so infuriatingly Your Type that its embarrassing like yeahg no one is gonna be surprised when i announce this is my new Guy Of The Month

[randommultifandomrants]

Being a girl is: wanting to go to bed early but deciding to just get on tumblr/wattpad/Ao3 for a little bit and then end up finding a fic series that you really like and read until well past your usual bedtime then keeping on because it’s already past your bedtime. Then being mad when you wake up in the morning because you overslept your timer.

[prokopetz]

Seeing people decide to watch Breaking Bad based on the Tumblr memes is especially funny when they do it specifically for the memes about Jesse, because... well, let's put it this way. Aaron Paul, the guy who played Jesse, was nominated for a Primetime Emmy award for best supporting actor in a drama series for his work on Breaking Bad on five separate occasions, including twice in one season, and won three of those nominations. He was the first person ever to win that award three times for the same role. Like, Jesse's storyline is so viscerally unpleasant that it set industry records.

[artfilmfan]

Lakota Nation vs. United States (Jesse Short Bull & Laura Tomaselli, 2022)

[weepingwidar]

Jesse Zuo (Chinese, 2000) - Untitled (2024)

[gael-garcia]

Lakota Nation vs. United States (2022, Jesse Short Bull & Laura Tomaselli)

[hexgirling]

“that character is a war criminal” that character is from a fictional fantasy world and did not attend the geneva convention

[michameinmicha]

Do you ever miss a character from a show but not like in the way that you want to rewatch the whole show because theres so much stuff going on and thats not what youre looking for but you miss your boy

[sapphic-storm69]

Spiderverse thots

[iced-bees]

[honestlydarkprincess]

watching the percy jackson show be like

[a11eya]

bakugou pauses mid-sentence, then leans in, pressing his face right into your neck.

you squirm, trying to push him away. his nose brushes against your skin, and a reluctant laugh escapes you. you put your hands on his chest and push.

“stop! you know i’m ticklish there,” you tell him.

he grips your waist, holding you in place. his eyes narrow.

“what the fuck is that?” he says.

“what?” you furrow your brow, leaning back to look into his face. “what’s what?”

bakugou scowls. “you smell like shitty cologne.”

“what?” you turn your head, attempting to smell yourself. you do catch a wisp of scent on you. “oh! it got cold out, and i forgot my jacket so todoroki lent me his. his cologne must’ve rubbed off on me.”

“why the hell would you take it?” bakugou says, scowl deepening.

“it was cold!”

“so stay cold.”

“katsuki!”

bakugou reaches up and pinches your nose. “you call me if you’re cold, i’ll bring you something.”

“you were on patrol!” you say, voice nasally. you bat at his hand, and he lets go.

“i don’t give a fuck. now go shower. don’t fucking pull this shit again.”

“you’re so annoying sometimes,” you say. “he was just being nice.”

bakugou drops his head to bite your shoulder.

“are you a dog,” you say, deadpan. your hand reaches up to thread through his hair. you tug at the strands a little.

he growls into you in response, and you break into a smile, laughing.