#Not a Drop of Jess Whatsoever

[saltygilmores]

Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls, Season 2, Episode 9, "Run Away Little Boy". Part 2

You can read my previous reviews here.

If you have to keep repeating something out loud like this, it probably isn't true. Every time Rory or Lorelai say Rory's relationship with Dean is "a really good thing going right now", God plucks a whisker off a kitten. TWWGG= We Make Weird Metaphors.™

The Time Traveler hath returned (after a stop for a quick shave, apparently). I forgot to add that in the middle of all this DL/Rory/Dean drama, Lorelai went on her date with TT and had fun but twas not meant to be but she was happy to discover she could Date Casually ™ after Max.

A crystal clear Tomatos Sign spotting! Lorelai to Rory, who is stifling laughter: What? Say it! Rory: Nothing, I always wanted a little brother. Lol. And we have another scene for the Rory's Bizarre Food-Related Habits Hall of Fame. Rory picks up her burger and walks out of the diner without putting it into a to-go box. Is this the neatest burger ever that doesn't drip grease or ketchup? Like the time she walked out with a piece of French toast in her hand with no syrup dripping down her uniform? Luke's Diner Motto: Do You Think We're Made of To Go Boxes Or Something? Carry Your Own Food.™

I kind of look like Lorelai right now after the suffering this episode has put me through. Lorelai apparently talked about Luke on her date with Time Traveler or at least has mentioned Luke on some other occasion. Time Traveler even knew about Rachel. STOP. EVERYTHING. A MIRACLE HAS JUST OCCURED IN STARS HOLLOW! LORELAI PAID FOR HER FOOD!

Luke In My Gritty Gilmore Girls Reboot titled "The Hollow": "You are hereby banned from this establishment. Get the fuck out."

God, Dean is so creepy. And not to say I'm an expert on Shakepeare, but Tristan reciting Shakespeare was...wow. That was some of the worst line reading I've ever heard, ChadMIchaelMurrayDietLogan.

The lips are getting reaaaal thin!

While looking straight at Dean, making Rory panic that he's about to tell Dean about their kiss, but he turns it around and pretends he was just talking about a scene from the play. Sneaky, disgusting, an absolutely vile piece of dog shit either way.

Honestly if I were Rory the sweet release of death would be preferable to being alive and having to suffer these two Butts With A Capital B.

Let's all Take Five and have an Ancient Cellphone Break.

Lips are realllly thin. Practically invisible.

I don't know how much longer I can tolerate this shit stain talking to Rory like this. How is this the fourth or fifth time I've suffered through this show? Why am I doing this to myself? Am I that masochistic? I'm in pain. Dean is such a piece of shit that I am concerned for Jared Padalecki himself, in the same way that Milo Ventimiglia's mother thought he had suffered some kind of unspoken childhood trauma because he played dark villains so believably. Are you ok, JarPad? How are you this believably awful?

This is horrible. I want to shut it off. There are 9 minutes left in the episode. Ugggggggggh. Poor Rory. PUNCH HIM! PUNCH HIM! YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO! The next episode is the Bracebridge Dinner. My second favorite episode and a shining beacon of of light, joy, minimal drama, and Jess galore in his ugly brown winter coat. You can do this, TWWGG. You can do this.

Oh my god my blood is just BOILING right now.

Portrait of the author.

Let's take turns. Something should absolutely fall on your head, but also, I really need something big to fall on mine right now. I would welcome the sweet, sweet unconcious state where when I wake up this episode is over and I'm watching The Bracebridge Dinner. (Context: Lorelai is annoyed because everyone is calling her a pedophile). (Because of her date with the Time Traveler, not because she's absolutely having an affair with 17 year old Dean Forrester). Luke is grumpy with her for going on a date with this guy. Jealous or something. Whatever. I'm tired of these men. Sure, Jess has not made any appearance in this episode yet. But with 5 and half minutes left to go, my pain and suffering is about to be rewarded in other ways. With one tiny scrap and one medium scrap to gnaw on and one big, big juicy hunk of meat. Justice, thy name is Amy Sherman Palladino! (and Chad Michael Murray leaving for another TV show). The small scrap:

Lane's face while she's watching Henry. My girl is feeling things. Stirring, yearning, Un-Christian things. The medium scrap: Paris taking Diet Logan's part as Romeo to Rory's Juliet. Sweet. And the big one:

DIET LOGAN IS GONE!!!!! GONE GONE GONE GONE!!!!!!!! WHO CARES WHY!!! HE BROKE INTO A SAFE OR SOMETHING WHO CARES!!! GOODBYE!!!! *PUNTS HIM IN THE ASS*

Look at Dean creeping again in the background!!! But I'm so happy we're back down to only one clown instead of two!!!! Wait, there's still Christopher. Still two clowns left. God damn it. #ClownMath He's getting shipped off to military school lol he'll be eaten alive probably lol BYE

Don't let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya #BYE "Take care of yourself Mary." Ahahah I won't have to hear anyone call Rory a stupid nickname again because I'm not watching this show past season 4 ever again and I won't have to suffer through Full Calorie Logan calling her "Ace" yay!

Ahhhh. *breathes in* Everything just feels...a little more right once more.

A sea of confusion.

Dean: Did you and Paris actually kiss or was that just a stage thing? Shut up. The episode ends on a sweet little note of Luke & Lorelai talking about how they can rely on each other. Not even a drop of Jess in this episode. Not even a shot of him in the background cleaning the counters. Nothing, zip, nada. But... BRACEBRIDGE DINNER NEXT!

[romanticatheartt]

Thoughts on Hannah Dodd calling John and Francesca platonic soulmates? Despite Jess Bromwell’s quote about her future queerness not negating her love for John it seems as though they’re gonna make her a lesbian instead of bisexual.

I think they're both right in this case. As long as I know, platonic love can be shared with anyone. But that passionate love is something that can be experienced with few and maybe in some cases only with one person.

I don't trust Jess to know wtf she's doing lol. From what I've seen in s3 it abundantly clear that she does whatever she wants and not caring for what the characters need and how it would impact the future storyline. She has the characters and move them as she pleases instead of letting the character move the plot.

So I don't trust her whatsoever but the ones I trust are the actors themselves. They have to understand the characters to play them. As you can see Jonny and Simone are the very clear example. They know these characters very well so they play them to perfection.

Now I think Hanna saying Fran's love for John is platonic, is in character and it might be right. I thought she might be more of a lesbian than bisexual myself as well.

Because the whole damn season Francesca was begging her mother to understand not all loves have to be the earth-shattering love she experience, for her to be wrong. All the while she claims to be in love with John to also instantly fall in love with Michaela. For her to look disappointed after kissing John.

So yes I think the difference in her reaction to Michaela and John can be interpret as her being more gravitated toward woman.

If Hanna says Fran's love for John is platonic and she still loves him then I think she is right. What I'm afraid of is the writers don't respect John and Francesca's love for him, and make her emotionally and physically cheat on him, that's my biggest issue with them. Which is so on brand for them tbh. Just look at the unnecessary Love triangle they throw in each season. So I think cheating trope wouldn't be so out of the picture for them to drop on their season. Going back behind John and make her disloyal to him (specially when John is the absolute sweetheart) which it would leave a bad taste in audience's mouth and it won't be good for them and definitely not a good representation of wlw.

I don't even know anymore lol. I'm absolutely disheartened and I don't think they're going to do anything in the favor of queers and their representation. I hope I'm wrong, I really do but I wouldn't get my hopes up.

[deathofpeaceofmiiind]

high infidelity | twenty three

How’d we end up on the floor anyway? You say, your roommates cheap ass screw top rose, that’s how. We pulled up to Noah’s house and my eyes widened at the sight of it, it was beautiful. I didn’t want to creep him out and ask him if he moved but this definitely wasn’t the house he had during his twitch days. It was a bungalow hidden between a few palm trees and various plants, it had a perfect Californian vibe to it. He led me inside and my breath was taken away again, it had floor to ceiling windows that had a perfect view of the LA skyline, and open concept where his kitchen, living room and dining room blended together. I looked outside and saw he had a small in ground pool as well with an egg chair beside it, I always wanted one of those.

“Well, what do you think?” “Noah this is…wow.” I was speechless. Noah passed me a glass of wine as I admired his home like it was the Sistine chapel. “I wouldn’t give this up for Vancouver.” “Ah, it’s just a house.” He said taking a sip of his wine, “By the way, this is Jesse’s wine, don’t say anything to him.” I nodded as I brought the glass to my lips, realizing it was a sweet rose. My eyes wondered around more, I saw his vinyl collection and I immediately went over to it. I shook my head in amazement, he really knew how to keep me guessing. He had Taylor Swift’s entire discography, along with her re-records, all organized by release date. I really adored his taste in music since he didn’t stick to one genre, there was a mixture of everything in his collection.

“Big Taylor Swift fan?” I joked as I grabbed Midnights and put it in his record player. Lavender haze filled the room as I walked over back over to him. “She’s been such a huge inspiration for me. Evermore got me through so much during the pandemic.” His voice trailed off, as if there was something that happened to him during that time. I didn’t want to dig, I knew if he wanted to say something he would. “Good choice, by the way. This is my favourite opening track for an album, ever.”

“It’s so good.” I agreed as I took another sip of my wine. My eyes followed Noah as he pulled out his iPad and started typing away on it. I watched him intently, his fingers moving so swiftly, his eyes full of concentration…he did everything with such intensity, it turned me on with no effort. “I ordered from my favourite restaurant, it should be here in half an hour. I figured since it was so late we could just spend time here and I’ll take you out tomorrow.” “That sounds great.” I replied. Noah walked around the kitchen island towards me, he offered me his hand and guided me to the couch. Everything felt so romantic, he had his lighting set to a soft glow, had candles burning and put his faux fireplace on. I was curious as to what his intentions were.

“Can I ask you something?” I said now that I had a little bit of liquid courage in my system. “Why are you so hesitant to have sex with me?”

Noah sighed and put his wine glass down. “El, it’s not like I don’t want to, trust me I do. Sex has become something I take seriously now. During the pandemic when my depression hit an all time low, I was drinking so much and I used to have these girls I’d call, they’d drop everything and come over so I could fuck them to forget my problems. I had no attachment to them whatsoever and I would kick them out the second I got what I wanted. All of it left me so empty and I stopped having sex all together for a long time. Then I met you and I knew I wanted to be with you in that way, my anxiety made me feel like my old habits would come back.” He paused and I could see tears flickering in his eyes. “I just love you so much sometimes it scares me, I want to do everything right with you.”

“I love you too Noah and I know you well enough to know you wouldn’t treat me like that. I’m sorry that you went through such a dark time. I’m also sorry that I was selfish and thought maybe it was something I did.”

“You’ve done nothing wrong at all. You’ve been so patient and kind with me, I don’t deserve you.” Noah replied with a sad tone, some days this mans emotions went deeper than I expected but if anything it made me love him more. He wasn’t ashamed to show them.

I cupped his face in my hand, catching the tear that escaped him. “I think you got it wrong, I don’t deserve you.”

He softly smiled at me as he poured me another glass of wine. The more the night went on the more bottles of wine we emptied. We ended up on the floor of his living room after dinner, listening to records, laughing about nothing and enjoying each other’s company. 

“You’re the greatest thing to ever happen to me you know that?” Noah drunkenly whispered as he crept up to me. I could taste his breath on me, it was sweet and strong. I watched him as his eyes focused on my lips, licking his own in the process. My heart was beating so fast and my eyes started to lose focus, I felt like maybe this was it. His lips crashed into me and I held onto the collar of his shirt as the kiss deepened. He pulled me onto his lap as he rested his back on the couch. He ripped my shirt off me and trailed kisses all over my shoulder, my collarbone and bit gently on the top of my breasts. I felt Noah growing harder under me as he took my bra off and let it cascade down my arms, completely exposing me. 

“So, so fucking beautiful.” He exhaled as he caressed my breasts, tracing circles around my nipples. I was in complete bliss, every single one of his touches sent fireworks off in my mind.

Noah held the back of my neck as he gently laid me down on the carpet, he disappeared for a moment but suddenly he was towering over me. My breath hitched when I felt something cold pooling on my stomach between Noah’s lips. He had an ice cube in his mouth and was trailing it all over my body, making me squirm. When it finally melted, he undid my pants and slid them down my legs, along with my underwear. Noah’s tongue hit my clit, it was frozen solid as he flicked it back and forth. I knew I was done for as my toes curled into the carpet. 

“You respond so well to my touch, you have no idea how fucking hard that makes me.” He looked up at me, grinning like a devil between my hips. He spat onto his fingers before sliding them in me, making me arch my back. His hand pressed on my lower abdomen as he hooked his fingers inside me, throwing me over the edge. “Come for me, I know you want to.”

“Noah - “ I couldn’t hold it, I screamed out in ecstasy as my body shuddered from my orgasm. He left me panting and seeing stars for a brief moment, but he didn’t give me much time to recover. He just looked at me like he was about to show me no mercy.

“I can’t wait anymore baby…I need to fuck you now.”

“I’m all yours.” I breathed out. I helped him get undressed as he closed his eyes before making a home between my thighs. He leaned over and gently kissed me, twitching as I stroked his throbbing cock. He deeply sighed with relief as soon as he was fully in me, his eyes glazed with pleasure as I wrapped around him. He started off slowly but picked up the pace rapidly, gripping into my hips to get deeper in me. Our bodies glistened with sweat, our sighs were so heavy and my body was shivering as my orgasm flooded me countless times.

“Jesus fucking Christ, you feel so good baby.” he moaned into my ear as he clasped my wrists over my head. “I don’t think I can hold on anymore.”

“Then don’t.” I whispered, his face was mere inches from mine as his hair brushed my face. He gently nodded and started to thrust into me harder, making me gasp each time. Our eyes stayed locked before he couldn’t focus anymore. Noah crashed his forehead into my shoulder as he spilled into me, letting out the most ungodly moan in my ear. My god that was worth the wait. 

[swift-creates]

@chrumblr-whumblr day 16: begging

wc: 613 | warnings: torture, knife violence, threats | characters: Strike (OC) (pov), Alex Brisals (OC), unnamed Separatist human female

[all time low voice] tonight's like a knife, would you cut me with your kiss I bleed red lips you're unbelievable-

another oc ship fic because i'm uncontrollable! so is the brainrot more things about Strike on AO3

—

Alex's eyes were wide as his gaze desperately clung to hers. She knew that look. That was the lie to me look, the tell me everything's going to be okay look.

"Stay away from him," she forced out through gritted teeth. "Oh, darling. It's sweet to see you think you have any say in the matter whatsoever." The woman selected out a knife from the tray in front of her, flipping it between her fingers as she strolled up and down the tiny room. "Don't darling me. Touch him, and I'll shove that knife down your throat." Strike's threat was made somewhat less effectual by the audible tremor in her voice. The woman laughed, and patted her on the cheek. "Just watch."

She left Strike, and walked towards him. Alex watched her the same way a frightened animal would someone approaching them, leaning away when she tried to grab him by the chin. "Hmm, where should we start? Do you think she'd like it if we gave you some lovely scars on your face?" Alex's breathing hitched, and he looked frantically past her to Strike.

"Maybe around your pretty mouth. So she remembers this every time she kisses you." She traced the knife lightly over his skin, and she saw his hands start to tremble.

"Don't." Her fingers dug into the leather straps that restrained her, kept her strapped to this stupid chair. They were right there; she should be able to stop this, to protect him, to do something, not stay seated as a creepy woman with knives threatened him. "Here's the thing, sweetheart. This all comes down to you. Just tell me everything I need to know about your little operation, and your boy here goes free and unharmed." She smiled, as if they were at a cafe instead of in a torture room. "Don't call her sweetheart." Oh, Alex. Poor, brave Alex. He was so far out of his depth, and still tried to stand up for her. Strike might be trained to withstand the worst Separatist torment, but he wasn't. He shouldn't even be here, her mind wailed. What have you done?

"You'll look wonderful when I'm done with you." The woman smiled wickedly, digging the tip of the knife in deep enough to draw blood, and Alex let out a strangled yelp. "Stop!" Strike desperately pulled against her bonds, tilting the chair dangerously forward. "Please." The woman turned to her, pretending she hadn't heard the first time. "What was that, lovely?" "Stop." She rolled her eyes and went back to her task, etching a curved line around the edge of his lips. "No manners. Really, should know better than to distract me. Or I might slip up." The knife jarred sharply downward, and Alex cried out.

Strike squeezed her eyes shut at the sound. "Please! Stop." Alex stopped screaming, and she opened her eyes to the woman looking back at her, knife hovering just above his skin. "One more time, soldier." "Please don't do this." Her voice dropped to a whisper. She kept her eyes trained on Alex's, holding him with her gaze if nothing else, and watched the woman pull away from her peripheral vision.

She walked over to Strike. Bent to look her straight in the eye. "Tell me everything I want to know about the Republic operations on this planet, or I will see to it that you and the boy become well acquainted with the very worst I have to offer." "I will. I swear. Just don't hurt him."

The woman smiled, and Strike thought of Rex and Anakin and Ahsoka and Jesse and Kix. I'm sorry.

"Now, that wasn't so hard, was it?"

[queenunderthatmountain]

Literati endgame?

okay but i really didn't get why everyone hated the gilmore girls ending because for me it seems like a Jess and Rory endgame is actually quite possible (and likely).

Okay, so we know only that she's with Logan's baby.

But (sorry team Logan) it seems kinda clear that she's not gonna end up with him. First of all, I think her being lost and suddenly becoming pregnant on accident is an obvious parallel to Lorelei, so it makes sense to me she's gonna be a single mother for a while. Even more so, because Logan and Christopher are soo much alike. (yes Logan is much older and more mature then Christopher was at 16 but Chris was a shitty dad way longer).

And if you were able to look past Logans red flags in gilmore girls (sleeping with like 4 different people right after allegedly breaking up, looking down on people with less money, being a dick towards Jess for no reason) after AYITL I don't think anyone can deny that he's just not a great guy who cheats on his fiance with no remorse whatsoever. So yeah, I actually dont know if he would want to be in the kids and rorys life, but I just dont think it would work out either way.

So now to Jess.

Yes, you can have a different interpretation, but to me he just looked at Rory not only lovingly but with so much longing and even pain in his eyes that its obvious hes not over her and still in love.

Hes appeared when Rory was lost before, when she drOpped out if yAle and later, when she was without job or underwear. Jess had the idea with the book as well, so he kind of guided her towards a new path, I cant imagene him not taking part in the process of her book writing. She was so exited to show him the first three chapters, I think she would want to include him later as well, or maybe ask him for advice as a writer (maybe he'd be the publisher?).

So I definitely belive it's realistic for him to still be in her life, and maybe support her with her kid in some ways (like Luke?)

And now to Rory.

I do think it was right for her to move on after he left, but it always felt so incomplete to me, I was so sure they'd get back together a second time, sometime after him telling her he loves her. I truly believe they are soulmates, in the way that they understand each other better than anyone else, like the same things, have so much in common. Hes was very troubled and disturbed when they were dating, but he was the only boyfriend who really worked on himself (Logans not sleeping around doesnt count) and changed.

And while I am sure she did love Jess, it just doesnt feel right that she never said it back. Yes we got "might have loved you" but idk thats just not enough.

They were dating for such a short time compared to the others, did not even have sex (which could make a relationship appear more serious) yes they had this incredible connection, they still care so much about each other and immediately talk like they used to, even when they havent spoken in years.

So yeah, I think the timing was never right, at first Jess was too troubled, then Rory was in love with Logan, but I really do believe that not only did she always love him, i think a part of her was always IN love with him.

Now, that their lifestyles could sympathize I think she would see that, and no way he'd be like "yeah sorry too late". They needee their time, like Lorelei and Luke, but in the end I see them.

[starry-mist]

The Great Fandom Meltdown of Season 6, a brief summary so far:

Episode 1 airs. It’s meh. People notice it’s meh.

Episode 2 drops the “Sarah’s going back to school” and “Karma is gone” bombshells. Meltdown truly begins. Many fans rightfully call out the show’s lack of continuity/consistency. People are accused of missing the point of the show when they suggest that there needs to be continuity re: things like Charlie and Sarah’s relationship, Jesse’s character development from season 5, the team working together, etc. Lots of accusations on the show’s socials/Facebook group of people complaining just to complain, negativity, blah blah.

Episode 3: No clue cause I didn’t watch it. But the meltdown continues. Much more complaining about complaining. LOL. You’d think the powers that be might have predicted this, but that would require them to pay any attention whatsoever to fan reactions.

Episode 4 brings back the teamwork, the s5 character development, and confirms Charah are solid. Fans breathe a collective sigh of relief. The show’s socials are filled with less doomscrolling and more joyscrolling. The folks incapable of deeper critical analysis go “well maybe now the Charah shippers will stop complaining” because they’ve missed the point, as usual.

Thinking I might make this an ongoing series because this season might be an overall shitshow 🤣

[corner-stories]

unexpected things

Bart Allen. Tom Bronson. Jesse Chambers. Breakfast. Internships. Blossoming Friendships. 2498 words. (ao3.)

Bart Allen’s first morning with the Justice Society of America had gone in ways that he expected and ways that he did not. 

Waking up at the crack of dawn to train with the older Wildcat in the basement gym? Expected. Sleeping restlessly due to both anticipation and the sensations of being in an unfamiliar bed? Doubly expected. Having his ass utterly beat after a single session with the old, sweaty fossil? Triple-y expected. 

It was a good thing that Speedsters didn’t bruise easily, or else Bart would spend the rest of the day with marks on his pretty face. 

At least the unexpected things kept the morning interesting. In fact, “unexpected things” was possibly the best way to describe most of what came out of Bart’s mouth. 

Because clearly, no other newbie in the history of the Justice Society had the guts to ask Ted Grant if he was a furry. 

In response, Bart was anticipating the utterly perturbed look on the old cat’s face, but what he was not expecting involved the one-hundred push-ups, sit-ups, and squats suddenly forced onto his plate. 

Those who decided to drop-in on the training session  — which included Ted’s pretty boy son, Grant, and Jesse — were encouraged to leave Bart to his grizzly fate in a warm, sweaty gym that smelt strangely like peanuts. 

After discovering the hard way that he had no upper-body strength whatsoever, Bart left the JSA’s gymnasium feeling like Sissyphus rolling the stone up the mountain for the thousandth time. Had he been back in his west coast dormitory, he would’ve gone back to bed to properly rest his aching muscles. 

But alas, here he was in New York with a different schedule in mind. He wondered what the rest of the JSA would think if their new “intern” slept for most of the day. 

At a normal speed Bart went to his allotted room and changed into something a little less covered in sweat. He tried to ignore the aching in his joints as he pulled on his usual university sweater. 

If every day with the Justice Society was like this, then he was rather happy that his little trial-period with the team would only last two weeks.

Nonetheless, Bart made his way from his bedroom and walked down the hallway, only briefly taking in the old framed photographs mounted on the walls. It seemed that every corner of the Brownstone paid tribute to the Golden Age heroes in some way, and that wasn’t even factoring in the museum on the building’s first floor. 

It was different from the Secret Sanctuary or even Titans Tower, but in a good way. Each photo of the past, whether they be candids or posed, was a glimpse into a different time. Not a time that was better in any way — in fact, it could be argued that it was quite the opposite — but a time that happened and deserved to be remembered for both the good and the bad. 

With that in mind, Bart caught sight of a photograph depicting Jay Garrick with much less wrinkles and a lot more color in his hair. It only took half a second of Bart looking at the photo for the gravity of the next two weeks to get just a bit heavier. 

Fortunately, Bart finally made it to the kitchen. 

Breakfast with the JSA was a rather casual affair. Only a handful of members were spread around the room and partaking in whatever they fancied in the morning. 

At least Bart finally knew everyone’s names. 

Courtney and Jennifer were listening happily as Maxine explained how artfully bad the Phantom of the Opera sequel was. From the way she dramatically gestured as she spoke, one could assume that the show was on an entirely different level of abysmal. 

Michael and Karen were discussing the absolute nightmare that was dating in New York, rocking a fashionable pair of sweatpants and a hoodie as she did so. 

Jesse was holding her toddler son in her arms as Rick tried to feed Johnny little spoonfuls of oatmeal. With every bite, there was a fifty percent chance that the boy would swallow or spit out his food. 

And the JSAer called Pieter was huddled in the corner of the kitchen with a mug of black coffee and an unsliced bagel in his hand. Though his eyes were covered by a pair of dark sunglasses, the way he hunched his shoulders and huddled into himself implied that he wasn’t the only JSAer who wanted to crawl back to bed. 

A sense of unfamiliarity plagued Bart as he stepped further into the kitchen. Unlike the Garrick or West household, he was absolutely out of his element. He couldn’t exactly stride in like a sitcom character and say “Good morning, y’all!” before someone would comically roll their eyes. 

For once, Bart said nothing as he walked to the center island and grabbed a chocolate chip muffin off a platter. As he took a bite he couldn’t help but overhear some of the conversations taking place. Considering how many people were in the space, there was no way he couldn’t. 

Karen seemed rather lively as she spoke of a rather unlively subject. 

“I’m just saying — if I get matched with another guy who thinks liking lacrosse counts as a personality trait, then I shall succumb to my fate as a sad spinster maid and move to the attic,” she said with a casual voice,then poured a healthy serving of coffee into her mug. 

“And get another cat,” Jesse added. As she spoke, she didn’t even look away from her son. “Can’t forget the cats.” 

Michael let out a chuckle and Bart discovered that Mister Terrific did have a sense of humor afterall. 

“Pro-tip, Karen,” Rick chimed in. “Maybe stop swiping right on basic white boys from Greenwich, Connecticut.” 

In the corner of his eye, Bart caught sight of Michael visibly pondering something for a few seconds.

“Rick, isn’t that where you-”

Michael was cut off when Karen let out a hum. After pouring a glug of oat milk into her coffee, she stepped away from the counter and towards the silent physician in the corner. 

“Hey, Doc,” she said, nudging him. “It’s your turn today.” 

Pieter’s facial expression did not change as he nodded his head. “Right.” 

Despite looking like a very sleep-deprived owl, the Good Doctor trudged to a counter near the kitchen’s doorway. On said counter was a stereo system. Without saying anything else, Pieter plugged his smartphone into the machine. 

Bart then felt a tap on his shoulder, then turned to his right to come face-to-face with Jesse

“Every breakfast one of us gets to choose the music,” she quickly explained. “Don’t worry, I’ve made sure that you’ll get some time on Friday.”

Amused, Bart smirked. “Do you guys schedule everything?”

“Only when it’s important,” Jesse replied coolly, and Bart wasn’t entirely sure if she picked up on the joking nature of his words. 

As Bart watched Pieter file through songs on a music app, he wondered just what kind of tunes the Good Doctor gravitated towards. Bart had only interacted with the man a handful of times, but judging by Pieter’s quiet nature and the constant cheerless expression on his face, he figured it would either be utterly boring or utterly angst-filled. 

But to Bart’s surprise, the sound of music that played from the smartphone of Doctor Pieter Cross turned out to be — of all things — sappy 80s love songs. 

Looking at the man now, it was almost surreal to watch one of the world’s most esteemed physicians stuff an unsliced bagel into his mouth as glassy synthesizers played in the background. 

As Bart took a bite of his muffin, another JSAer entered the room. 

Tom Bronson looked a lot more relaxed than he was when witnessing the morning’s session. Although, Bart could recall seeing a smirk on the guy’s face after the furry comment. 

Like his father, Tom had dark hair, blue eyes, and an affinity for cat-based motifs. But unlike his father, Tom was in his mid-twenties, smelled like cigarette smoke, and utterly radiated a sense of youthfulness in the finer features of his face, something absolutely unseen in the older Wildcat. 

Once the younger Wildcat stepped into the room, he let out a dramatic sigh of relief. 

“Oh, thank the good lord, there’s finally some decent music in here!” Tom let out as he went straight to the coffee machine on the counter. 

Some of the JSAers let out a laugh or chuckle, while others were less amused. 

“Tommy, if you’re gonna say that every week, you might wanna start changing your inflection,” Courtney brought up, annoyed. 

“And what exactly is your definition of ‘decent’ music?” Maxine chimed in. She appeared to be slightly less bothered by her teammate’s antics. 

“And please explain without dissecting the entire genre,” Jennifer added on.

Tom smirked like he had finally been given a challenge. 

“Good music is anything but fuckin’ country, that’s for sure,” he replied as he poured himself a healthy serving of coffee. The Pretty Boy Wildcat turned around and leaned on the counter to face his teammates. “Don’t tell Nate though.” 

Once more, some of the JSAers chuckled along while others did not. Rick in particular covered little Johnny’s ears while Jesse looked amused. Considering how many f-bombs Bart would drop during every babysitting session, it was possibly pointless. At this rate, little Johnny’s first words would probably be “holy fuck nuggets.”

As Bart finished off his muffin, Tom immediately zipped towards the vacant seat next to the speedster and sat his ass down. 

“Hey, you!” Tommy said, happily patting the Speedster’s shoulder. “You are my idol.” 

Bart was bemused, yet the slightest bit confused. “What’d I do?”

“You asked my Dad if he was a furry, I’ve been daring Grant to do that for years and he chickens out every time,” Tommy explained. He took a quick sip of his coffee and looked at Bart with a mischievous gleam in his eyes. 

“We gotta hang out while you’re here,” Tommy continued. “Listen, my buddy’s playing this gig tonight at this bar down in Williamsburg, he does this whole thing where he mixes jazz and punk, he calls it junk. It’s sick. You’d love it. You should come.” 

Bart didn’t need to think twice to know what his answer was. But before he could say anything, Jesse was quick to chime in. 

“Hey, Tom,” said the blonde Speedster. She pointed to Bart to emphasize her point. “Not to a complete buzzkill, but he’s not twenty one.” 

Annoyed, Bart shot her a glare. It seemed that being in the middle of college did not stop the one Jessica Belle Chambers from treating him like a surprisingly tall baby brother. 

“Well, thanks, Jess,” Bart said in a tone that was equal parts sarcastic and annoyed. 

Fortunately, Tommy was quite understanding. 

“No no, it’s all good, I get it. Wouldn’t wanna get you in trouble,” he assured, bowing his head and putting one of his hands up. He gave Bart a quick nudge. “We could still do something though — me and Grant sneak into shit at Tisch all the time. You should tag along.”

Willing to accept any sort of strange adventure in New York, whether it be out of costume or in it, Bart managed a smile and nodded along. 

“Hey, it wouldn’t be my first time,” he said, and just like that it felt like the plan was set. “Last month me and my roommates crashed this thing at Stanford. It was sick, they didn’t even ask if we actually went there!” 

Tommy let out a laugh, clearly happy to find another partner-in-crime in addition to Grant. 

As Bart reveled in the fortune of making a new friend, Jesse rolled her eyes and looked back to the toddler in her arms. At least all the tuition she was paying for Bart to go to university was going to an authentic college appearance — warts and all. Frankly, as long as Bart was getting the most out of his classes, what he did in his spare time as a young, doe-eyed twenty-year-old was none of her business. 

“Well, whatever Jay doesn’t know won’t kill him,” she muttered. “Hopefully.” 

A few moments passed as various JSAers sipped coffee, munched on unsliced bagels, or quietly jammed to the sappy 80s pop ballad playing through the stereo. While Bart reached for another muffin, he heard the beeping of a smartphone and looked to the corner of the kitchen. 

Karen grabbed her phone from the counter and only spent a moment glancing at the screen. Whatever the notification was, it caused her to hum and walk to the doorway.

“Shoot, gotta run,” Karen said, keeping a firm grasp on both her phone and coffee mug. “Starrware stuff.”

However, Karen only took a few steps towards the exit before stopping in her place. She turned around just slightly and eyed Bart at the table. 

“Hey, you,” said the team’s Chairwoman. She took a few steps towards him. “Jesse told me you’re studying electrical engineering.” 

“And comp sci,” Bart added, nodding. “It’s one of those double major things.”

“When do you graduate?” 

“In about a year.”

Karen let out another hum, then reached into the pocket of her sweatpants. After fishing around for a bit, she pulled out a business card and handed it to the baby-faced Speedster. 

“When you do, be sure to give us a call,” she explained in a straightforward, professional tone. “We got some internship programs at Starrware and I think you’d fit in. And of course, it’s paid.” 

Bart only looked at the card for half a second. Fittingly, the contact info for Starrware’s hiring offices were framed in a star shape. 

“Aw shit, thanks,” he soon said, speaking as if his two-year-old nephew was not sitting next to him. 

“No problem,” said Karen. She reached over and gave Bart a pat on the shoulder. “Glad to be working with you, Kid.”

As Bart slipped the card into his pocket, he couldn’t help but smile. Anything that implied that his college degree was not going to be a waste of time was fine by him. 

By now, Bart Allen was getting quite used to unexpected things being thrown at him. In fact, he wanted them to keep coming, whether they be a punishment via push-ups or a new networking opportunity. 

As Karen turned to leave the room for real, Jesse took a break from shielding her son’s ears from the profanity to give the chairwoman a quizzical eye. 

“Karen, do you always keep business cards on you?” asked Jesse. “Even out of costume?” 

“You don’t know my life, Jesse,” Karen replied in a dry tone, yet a smile remained on her face. 

Letting out a chuckle, Bart soon realized that his time with the Justice Society of America was going to be something special after all. 

[jojo-javabean24]

a random OC ask for you (for teagan): what is your OC's favorite memory?

also: if they were dropped in a random city for a day with a pouch full of gold/relevant currency and no obligations whatsoever, what would they be doing?

Oh wow! My first ask! Well thanks for taking the time in taking a quick interest in my character. :)

Teagan, unfortunately, can't remember much from his past before adulthood. The drug he's currently on, Bliss, hinders his long term memories, so he can only remember bits and pieces. But if he had to choose if given the option, his favorite memory would be the day he met his best friend Jesse for the first time.

Jesse is a human woman working as a bartender in the Brothel Teagan's forced to work at too, and she's probably the only person in his 90 years of enslavement that has ever truly shown him kindness. She saved him from being assaulted by a rowdy customer, she heals his wounds and sneaks him extra food and healing potions, and she's probably the only person keeping him sane.

As for the second ask, Teagan would probably spend the whole day spoiling himself, especially if Astarion is there with him. Meaning shopping sprees, spa treatments, bar hopping, and probably giving some coins to the homeless despite Astarion's protests. X3

All Teagan wants is freedom, and he's going to enjoy the day doing what he never thought he'd be able to do.

[pandorascripts]

I Love This Part.

summary; Kara and Lena fight, resulting in a multitude of misconstrued thoughts.

song: I Love This Part -The Wrecks.

note: Buckle up fellas, it’s been a while since I posted, but I’m getting back into groove. this was also proof-read once, so uhh….

THERE WILL BE A PART TWO!!

warnings: suicide thought, mentions of abuse, alcohol, Kara being sad (yes that’s a fucking tag, have you seen that bitch when she’s sad???), and Lena hating herself (yes that’s tag because that hurts me).

————

Lena scrunched her face in embarrassment. She took another swig of her scotch, hoping it would drown out her emotions. It didn’t. Her and Kara’s fight replayed in her head, bouncing around like a loose tennis ball, and hurting her head. Maybe the pain was due to the fact that she was on her third drink, but she ignored that. 

Lena was angry over the press finding about their relationship, the worry came from the right place. She didn’t want the press chasing Kara around, bugging her at work or at her home. Lena didn’t want Kara to deal with what she dealt with, that’s why she kept their relationship secret. 

Kara was sick of it, though. Only a few, select people knew, dates were rare and only inside Lena’s penthouse, and no PDA was allowed whatsoever. It was tough, but Kara loved Lena, and so she put up with it. She ignored the desire to grab Lena’s hand when walking, she ignored the tug of her heart when she tried anyway, and Lena slapped her hand harshly. It was hurting Kara, and she didn’t know if she could take it any longer. That’s why she snapped at Lena; she wished she didn’t, though, cause now she was fifteen potstickers away from a food coma, and drunk on her last bit of Barry’s special alcohol. 

Kara and Lena took a swig of their own beverages in sync, both of those fights numbing their senses. Kara was sobbing into a snot-filled blanket, Wizard of Oz playing in the back. Lena was staring blankly at a wall, her stone-cold eyes shooting daggers at the door when Jess would knock on it. Lena and Kara took another gulp. 

Lena sighed as she got up, filling her cup again. In her office, her phone rang, making Lena groan in distaste. She rubbed her temples. 

“Fuck off.” She picked up the phone. “Lena Luthor speaking.”

Kara paused. Maybe this was a bad idea. “Can we talk?”

Lena dropped the phone back into the reviver, walking away. She turned on her heel, ripped the cord out of the phone and chucked it through her window. Unfortunately, it bounced off the bulletproof glass, which only made her angrier. 

“FUCK!” she screamed, grabbing a bottle of scotch and chucking it at the window. It shattered, not even denting the glass as Lena panted. 

Lena turned around, a hesitant knock halting her anger. 

“What?” Lena snapped, too far gone in her emotions to even care about her tone. 

The door opened, Jess stepping through. “Ms. Luth—“

“Out, Jess.”

Jess nodded, swallowing harshly as she stepped out the door. It clicked shut, and Lena walked over to lock it. She slumped back into the couch, now feeling saddened by her outrage of anger. A dark, sickening thought made her stomach twist. 

You’re just like Lionel. 

Lena shook her head, wiping off her forehead. No. I’m nothing like him. 

You’re drunk out of your mind, angry at people who don’t deserve it, and throwing bottles around because you can. You might as well start hitting Kara, then you’ll be a perfect match. 

Lena slapped the side of her head, hot tears scalding her face. No, no, no. 

Lena curled herself into a ball, lazily kicking off her heels as she did so. She sunk into the couch, falling through it and into her thoughts. This was one of the reasons she loved Kara, she never stopped talking, which meant it was never silent. If it was never silent, Lena couldn’t fall prey to the sadistic thoughts she had. Unfortunately, Kara wasn’t here, Kara’s talking wasn’t here, and Kara’s warm embrace wasn’t here, but Lena’s thoughts were. And her thoughts welcomed her into a dark hell, dragging her down and down and down. 

Kara shoved three potstickers in her mouth, ignoring the intense taste of salt from her tears, as she hung up on Alex for the third time tonight. She just wanted to be alone. That was a lie. She didn’t want to be alone, she wanted to be with Lena, but Lena clearly didn’t want to be with her. She tried calling, asked to talk even, but Lena simply hung up a moment later. Did she not care? Kara cried harder at the thought, maybe she was just easy. Maybe that’s why Lena kept her away, cause she was embarrassed. After all, Lena was a badass CEO, and Kara was just some loser journalist. Kara understood her embarrassment, sometimes she hated herself for how she was. She didn’t deserve Lena, look at her! She snapped at Lena for something minuscule, something that paled in comparison to what she had now lost. It was stupid, Kara should be fine with having a secret relationship, it didn’t matter if Eliza didn’t know, or even the team for that matter, it didn’t, and it couldn’t. Because if it did matter, then she lost Lena, she lost what she had tried to hard so get back. It was a miracle Lena had even agreed to be her girlfriend, after all, she had betrayed her. Everything was Kara’s fault. 

She curled herself into a ball, picking up a  small photo of herself and Lena, and tucked it into her chest. Kara cried harder, not caring about the pain from where the frame was cutting into her throat. It wouldn’t kill her, but she wished it would’ve.

[jojoblessed365]

Okay, this is just a theory and because I'm ferociously bored, so here goes:

I just finished watching Wednesday and while watching episode 5, I couldn't help but draw parallels between Gomez-Morticia-Wednesday and TJ-Liz-Doula respectively.

Both sets of parents are full-on sexually romantic with no boundaries whatsoever, and their children can't help but blanche at that. I personally feel that Liz and TJ are egotistic and tend to get wrapped up in their own problems and Doula is sadly caught in the middle.

Also, it would be a good conflict- that no matter how much Liz has changed and handling parenting in two completely different ways (being a single mom with Jess and then co-parenting with TJ their kid Doula), Doula ironically becomes a version of teen Jess.

And then I watched episode 7 and loved the relationship between Uncle Fester and Wednesday. And I immediately thought of the possible rapport between Jess and Doula- coming in whenever she needs a shakeup in her life or going through an existential crisis.

Anyway, I believe that if the Palladinos ever want to go back to Stars Hollow and the Gilmore universe, it would be so fun to see a different perspective and they should take Doula's POV, given that we haven't seen her and she is a "blank slate"; also I'm so bummed we never got to see the Jess spinoff and I think they could recycle the material and use Doula as the lead where she searched for a family member and attempts to find herself. And then Jess periodically comes to check on her, much like how Lenny Bruce would pop in at odd times in The Marvelous Mrs Maisel.

Anyway, I'm fully out of steam!!! Drop your thoughts in the comments or reblog!!!

Mic drop!!!

[saltygilmores]

THOUGHTS WHILE WATCHING GILMORE GIRLS-SEASON 3, EPISODE 1: LAZY HAZY CRAZY DAYS (PART 5)

Faces of Fear. Bozo got an early flight home, bringing with him an immovable stench cloud that is hanging over the day's festivi-titties. The city of Chicago is letting out a sigh of relief, though. In the middle of her crisis, Lorelai immediately abandons Rory, who is shaking in Dean's presence like a flu-stricken chihuaua. But not before reminding Dean how much she's missed him.

I heard there's a vacancy at the Shane and Jess Tree now, why don't you two make a reservation?

What the what! They're still going, in the same spot, completely uninterrupted! The Foreplay King and Queen! I am not worthy! Have they been making out in public so frequently that they just blend in with the scenery and hundreds of people walk right past them without even glancing? They've fused with the FuckTree. The 69 Pine. Witnessing this peep show, Rory experiences an instantaenous full blown sexual awakening so seismic the earth threatens to crack open beneath her. At FND, Emily and Richard take the news of the Lor & Crusty breakup just as well as anyone would have expected, which is to say, Not Well. When Lorelai returns home...presumably after 8 pm,as it's pitch black outside but the summer festival is still underway, somehow, with hundreds of people roaming the streets. The Barbershop Quartet is still singing "Lazy Hazy Crazy Days" into the night sky, creating an eerie scene. This is like something out of the Twilight Zone. The festivals never end, Taylor Doose in his never ending quest for power and money is forcing the citizens of The Hollow to listen to the same song (actually, more like two lines from the same song) on a loop until they go mad, forced to sell corn dogs and cotton candy until they drop dead, while Shane and Jess are still making out against the Poke Oak.

Again, the last few episodes have been making me feel like something was missing, then I remember Luke still exists. Hi Luke! Why don't you put a light on or something, why are you working in the dark?

Looks like someone decided to put on her big girl panties and be brave. With Lorelai breaking in and Jess always escaping it seems like Luke doesn't know what a lock is. Lorelai states she isn't there to beg for forgiveness or have a conversation with him or to talk to him or interact with him in any whatsoever, but she had a bad night so she wants him to make her coffee. DIdn't you hear the man? He's closeddddd.

When Luke won't budge, Lorelai asks him to just pretend she's some other random customer she made up called Mimi, as if it's in any way possible for Luke to imagine this ridiculous woman as someone else. There's no way these two have ever successfully engaged in role play. I guess he could pretend she's Kirk, both of them take up space for hours at his establishment and don't tip and make him want to lay down face first on the grill with his hand in the deep fryer. Luke won't assist her, so Lorelai helps herself to a pot of tepid coffee, sits down at his counter and starts crying about all the fucky guys she's dated in the last two years.

"Crusty's gonna have a baby with this woman" True "He's gonna be there for her when she's pregnant" False "He's gonna be there with her to see his child grow up" False "He's gonna be there for her while she does whatever it is she does." You mean be super duper creepy? #CreepySherry

Am I supposed to feel sorry for you or something? Go cry to Dean Forrester.

You got a LONG wait ahead of you, sister.

Wah wah wah. I want a Tyrannosaurus to storm the streets of The Hollow and swallow your boyfriend Dean Forrester, then I want the t-rex to spit him out so he can be eaten a second time by another t-rex, but we can't always get everything we want, right Lorelai?

Here. Have a 14 hour old donut to ease your pain and hopefully make you go home.

Me, Outloud (Very Animated): What the what, she was about to pay you for the first time ever and you stopped her?! A flipped script, but that's more or less the same reaction I have during A Year in the Life when Jess offers Rory money. “Why aren’t you taking her money” vs “why are you giving her money”

Is she gone? Lorelai returns home to find Rory in the living room. It makes me verrrry nervous when Lorelai and Rory meet on the couch at the end of an episode. Shit always goes down on that couch. It's the Scary Couch. The couch where Lorelai imparts horrible wisdom. It turns out my intuition would be correct in this instance. So horribly, horribly correct. Lorelai apologizes to Rory for reacting in the town square earlier, even though for once in her life Lorelai was actually the reasonable one who was totally in the right about Rory's behavior being slimy, and even if Lorelai is a hypcorite of the highest magnitude to try and impart on her child that you shouldn't mess around, cheat and play games. We can throw her a sprinkling of "Do as I say not as I do" points as long as she doesn't fuck it up in the last two minutes of the episode.... Hahahahaha. Ha? LORELAI GILMORE GO 15 SECONDS WITHOUT MENTIONING DEAN FORRESTER CHALLENGE. GO! Lorelai plops down on the couch with 2:58 left in the episode. *starts timer*

2 minutes and 43 seconds left. From sit-down to How's Dean was 15 seconds, she then asks "How was Dean" three more times. That fucking couch! Oh, and of course, after she took off and abandoned Rory earlier when Dean approached, Lorelai has yet to ask Rory how she's feeling.

Yay.

Unfortunately, yes. I called the T-Rex to eat Dean but she's booked to the gills, like, you really gotta know someone to get her to show up in your sleepy Connecticut town. 17 seconds from the last Dean mention to the next.

Oh..honey....

It's crazy NOW? No one tell her what a Three Ring FuckCircus the Jess Thing is going to turn into. She has to find out on her own. It's the only way she'll learn.

She says "I love Dean" with as much conviction as someone saying "Yes, I love walking around in wet socks."

But..ya kinda do, miss "just because you and Rory broke up doesn't mean we did, Dean." Lucky for you your daughter is a pathological people pleaser who won't dare to upset you or Dean, So you can rest easy knowing your precious Dean won't be going anywhere, for like, another 7 episodes.

He deserves to have his nuts crushed by a wooly mammoth.

You know what *deep breath* I'll choose to hear "In this alternate timeline, the HPV vaccination has already been invented in 2002 and I'm going to take you to the gynecologist to get it because I want you to be safe in case you one day decide you want to have sex with Jess" instead of unleashing Double T Rex's on Lorelai.

[call1me2awesome3]

Z: nigga forget the management. they can wait if it’s that important. you don’t seem tired whatsoever do you?

Robaire: uh no?

T: ok then let’s go to Z’s sisters house in Connecticut. there’s an arcade there and wether you like or not, we stay till 4 and then sleep the rest of the day tomorrow!

Robaire: T!

T: nope! we’re going! the management can wait just like Z said. if it’s that important they’ll be able to reschedule it

Z: bitch don’t give fuck and neither do I. and we’ll stop at my house to get snacks and then we’ll go to Ari’s house

Robaire: does she know?!

Z: I’ll text her now

Robaire: how do you know she’s awake?

Z: I just do. it’s a sibling telepathy, you should understand. you have three of them

Robaire: the girl is fucking pregnant!

Z: ok?

Robaire: and her fiancé is on a business trip till tomorrow

Z: and we’ll be staying till tomorrow anyway

Z: she just replied, she’s fine with us staying

T: and besides, Khelisha’s gonna be excited to see us anyway

Robaire: if Khelisha there, that means Kayla’s taking care of her

Z: yea?

Robaire: and wherever we see Kayla we see her best friend Jordyn…

Z: another reason we should go there!

T: see, you’re just proving our point!

(ok ok, y’all are prolly confused with all these ppl so Arianna is Z’s older sister who is 28, Khelisha is Arianna’s daughter/Z’s niece, Kayla is Z’s gf, while Jordyn is Robaire’s gf/ Jesse’s sister who is 17(same age as Tae) and I’ll make more posts abt them later)

Robaire: *sighs* ok if you insist that much

Z and T: yess!

They go to Z’s house in Nevada (they all have their own houses in N.A., and hire ppl take care of them. except for T and Tae, they’re too young) They get snacks from his house and some sweets for Khelisha and the girls and then leave. T is tired so Z drives to Arianna’s house from his own. once they get there it’s 11 and turns out there are some more of their friends then they thought.

people there: Arianna, Khelisha, journi, jordyn, tione, ryan, and liv

Arianna: hi aaron!

T, Z, and Robaire greet them and the other until they all go into the arcade to chill since the kids are already asleep.

T: rob, ty, cmon!

Tione, and Robaire: aii

they all play Gum drop, skee ball, and lane master and T let’s Robaire win while Tione is still standing his ground

Robaire: yo bro, Ty whas good with you

Tione: I’m not lettin you win nig—

Tione: AAAAAAHHFAAAHGFAAAAHHH

Robaire: ha! sucker!

Tione: that was a foul!

Robaire: what do you mean, I won fair and square!

Tione: wallahi you didn’t!

Robaire: *crossed fingers* wallahi I did!

Ryan from across the room: why you crossing ur fingers then?

Robaire: nigga, mind ur business!

T: ok, whatever ro won!!!

Tione: WHAT!?

T: shhh!

Tione: oh

Robaire: what the-

Z: they finna pin your ass dow!—

Tione: AARON NAJAHRI JACKSON-ZIMMERMAN!!

Z: aii, I’ll shush.

Kayla: all I can says that u better watch the fuck out!

Journi: don’t come for me, me and Jordyn take no part in this, we finna go to bed with the two

Robaire: ARIANNA HELP!!!

Arianna: I’m pregnant🥱

Robaire: OK?

Arianna: with twins

Robaire: … AND?

Arianna: and…

Arianna: I’m just pregnant, I can’t help!!

Robaire: where the fuck are y’all when I need you the most?!

Ryan: aii let go

Tione: only because it’s ur bday soon

Robaire: phew!

Robaire: ANYWAYS, i feel like going to the mall

Z: what mall is open at this time?

Arianna let’s go to my private jet

part 3 coming

[d2kvirus]

Dickheads of the Month: August 2024

As it seems that there are people who say or do things that are remarkably dickheaded yet somehow people try to make excuses for them or pretend it never happened, here is a collection of some of the dickheaded actions we saw in the month of August 2024 to make sure that they are never forgotten.  

Better not suggest that bonehead messiah Tommy Robinson is in any way affiliated with the Islamophobic riots across England, as that would be terribly wrong as he's conspicuously hiding in Tenerife to say he can't have anything to do with them

...similarly don't suggest waffling gargoyle Nigel Farage is in any way affiliated with the far-right riots across England, not even when he or his stablemates Richard Tice or David Atherton make obviously inflammatory statements or post patently inflammatory things online in regards to them, after all it wasn't Farage that was misinforming the public it was noted sex trafficker Andrew Tate's fault as Farage was merely repeating what Tate said unquestioningly before deciding an unscheduled trip to Hong Kong might be a good idea

...nor should we blame Sarah Edwards for the migrant-hosting hotel in her Tamworth constituency being attacked by the racist rioters, in spite Sarah Edwards voicing complaints about the migrant-hosting hotel in her Tamworth constituency in Parliament for no logical reason whatsoever, which of course isn't going to be considered a Labour whip-removal offence unlike something truly heinous like voting to feed children

...and don't blame Lee Anderson either, because he says Jess Phillips is to blame for mentioning a migrant hotel which was attacked - while pretending he hasn't been doxxing migrant hotels on his socials for years, though Ashfield was fortunate to not have masses of far-right rioters trashing the place, just like Clacton was fortunate and Basildon was fortunate...

...nor should failed gameshow contestant Katie Hopkins be held to account for anything she did, for example literally tweeting a list of locations across England where by complete coincidence one fascist pogrom after another happened to take place on the dats she posted in the locations which she posted

...and failed nepo baby Lawrence Fox absolutely should not be held responsible for geeing up the neo-Nazi looters, even though that;s exact what he was doing online before suddenly legging it to Ireland for no reason given

...yet according to the BBC social media is 100% to blame, which was apparently news to Lee Anderson when, on his GB News show, he alternated between defending the far-right thugs and cheering them on, which last time I checked puts the blame on traditional media

So now billionaire manchild Elon Musk is adding election interference to the list of ventures he dabbles in but not particularly well, creating a PAC which collects user data from a register to vote form which does not register people to vote, but the form certainly does steal their data

...and soon afterwards billionaire manchild Elon Musk decided to voice his definitely-informed-in-any-way opinion about the gammony riots across England by saying that "Civil war is inevitable" - note the quotation marks, as that's his direct quote

...but wait! Another genius idea by billionaire manchild Elon Musk to fix the broken hellscape that is Twitter just dropped! Removing visible counts of any form of interaction, be they likes, comments, reposts or quotes - which of course not only further removes any chance of saying billionaire manchild Elon Musk got ratioed yet again, but also reduces the chances of people seeing the amount of racist and transphobic material which billionaire manchild Elon Musk interacts with on a daily basis

...and in a strop billionaire manchild Elon Musk said he was going to sue every company which removed their advertising from Twitter when it became a far-right hellhole with the owner of the far-right hellhole in particular doing much to signal boost the most hellish of far-right hellions in order to maintain Twitter's status as a far-right hellhole that nobody wants to advertise on

...and because billionaire manchild Elon Musk loves to prove people who disagree with him tend to be this concept known as "being correct every single time", he looked like a stable genius retweeting Britain First leader Ashlea Simon when they posted a fake Torygraph article claiming Keir Starmer wanted detainment camps for the far-right rioters who smashed up the country while generally being racist, fascist, and generally pathetic. Just like Musk, then

...but wait, then billionaire manchild Elon Musk decided to blame the myriad of technical difficulties that blighted his livestream with registered sex offender Donald Trump on a DDOS attack that never happened, rather than the reality that Twitter Spaces has been unable to handle livestreams with more than twelve people watching them due to Musk fucking up the streaming infrastructure and being unable to fix it due to firing the people whose job it was to maintain Twitter's streaming infrastructure

...soon afterwards billionaire manchild Elon Musk was looking to win hearts and minds with a PR blitz...by gifting a Clustertruck to noted Russian war criminal Ramzan Kadyrov

...and then billionaire manchild Elon Musk responded to a summons from the Brazilian supreme court due to Twitter not having legal representation in Brazil ever since Musk closed Twitter's Brazilian office by posting an AI generated image of the Brazilian supreme court chief justice in prison

...and because billionaire manchild Elon Musk is such a thin-skinned bitch, he then went on an unhinged rant accusing the supreme court judge who shuttered Twitter in Brazil due to lacking legal representation ever since billionaire manchild Elon Musk shuttered their Brazilian office of election interference with the quite remarkable tell on himself that he made these accusations - and then asked if anyone with evidence could forward it to him

Hard centre extremist Emanuel Macron is still refusing to meet with the left-wing coalition which won France's legislative election in June, having already used the Olympics as a stalling tactic, but you know who he has met? Marine Le Pen, because centrists gotta centrist

It appears that Angela Carini learned from being eliminated in the first round of the Tokyo Olympics, coming back to the Paris Olympics to...retire from her bout against Imane Khelif after 45 seconds after being punched in the face a couple of times, which I'm sure has absolutely nothing to do with the transphobic moral panic about Khelif whatsoever...

...and then freelance snuff photographer Logan Paul decided to voice his ignorant opinion on the situation and be a transphobic turd about Khelif, and when informed that they'd be transphobic about a woman for the engagement grift his response was to literally say "Whoopsie!" which I hope isn't his line of defence when Coffeezilla drags his sorry ass into court

...leading to Lisa Nandy forgetting her talk of how culture wars are over to firmly side with the likes of JK Rowling, Posie Parker, Joe Rogan, Logan Paul and other transphobic pieces of shit

...and then Nicola Adams decided she wanted to be the latest example of a former sportswoman who went full-TERF first by mouthing her patently wrong opinion, and after admitting she was wrong she showed growth by...retweeting Ian Miles Cheong signal boosting some transphobic conspiracy theorist who decided that Imane Khelif was a man because transphobes are noted for their ability to admit they are talking bollocks

...but then Laura Woods decided she wanted a piece of the transphobic dickhead pie and repeatedly made the same brainless comments about Imane Khelif, doubled down on those brainless comments when challenged (not least because by this point only an attention-seeking dickhead would wade into the subject and not expect immediate pushback), and then went crying to the press about being harassed, somehow failing to spot the irony of piling-on to somebody who was being harassed

...but isn't it funny how militant TERF JK Rowling didn't tweet a single word for two weeks which definitely had nothing to do with Imane Khelif's threat of a lawsuit and her lawyers telling her to shut the fuck up, before Rober Galbraith himself tweeted some utterly deranged shit about how Khelif should send her gender test result to Rowling so she could dictate whether she was a woman or not. Because, remember, she's about protecting women...

It looks like Rachel Reeves had to make another one of those "difficult decisions" which she claims to hate making yet consistently makes anyway, this time giving Labour donor Ian Corfield a plum role in the Treasury - but don't accuse her or Keir Starmer's Labour Party of cronyism...

It certainly appears that Fox News knowingly and willingly colluded with registered sex offender Donald Trump to stage a wholly fake ceremony in Arlington National Cemetery so they could claim that Kamala Harris did not attend a ceremony to honour nobody at all as the whole thing was fake

Interesting how Ed Balls gave Yvette Cooper such an easy ride when interviewing her on Good Morning Britain, which I'm sure has nothing to do with Balls interviewing his literal fucking wife. Of course, he gives all Labour MPs an easy ride, as evidenced a couple of days earlier where he and Andrew Pierce decided to dogpile Zarah Sultana live on national TV in a way that definitely doesn't beg multiple questions about their sneering, bullying approach

Nobody told Rosie Duffield that the Gender Critical cult had been shown their asses by their gibbering rage at a woman winning an Olympic gold medal in boxing, hence she led a meeting which looked either like a cult gathering or like the rally in The Wall

Used car salesman Richard Tice demonstrated how Reform Ltd definitely aren't a bunch of cranks by saying that Keir Starmer should be arrested for encouraging Covid vaccine takeup. In spite the fact he was in opposition at the time. And Tice posted a video to his socials at the time encouraging his source of funding followers to get themselves vaccinated...

How lucky for Lauren Edwards that she didn't vote to remove the two child benefit cap, as that would have had the Labour whip removed - instead she merely has a history of racist, ablest, homophobic and classist tweets that were apparently an "error of judgment" spanning several years, so she gets to stay in Keir Starmer's Labour party

It's funny that the International Olympic Committee were happy to turn a blind eye to Steven van de Velde raping a 12 year old, let alone how Israel continued committing atrocities throughout the games yet weren't banned (though Russia were), but you know what made the IOC act in a matter of seconds? Uploading Gojira's performance in the opening ceremony to Youtube

I'm sure that Jordan Cooper had images of heroically dropping bombs on refugee camps when he decided to fly from the USofA to fight for the IDF - but instead he wound up as the most pathetic casualty of the ongoing genocide after the IDF killed him not by their usual tactics of firing at one of their own side or driving a tank over him, but by giving him peanut butter which triggered his nut allergy

Alleged news channel GB News had the wholly original idea of threatening to sue any advertisers who removed advertising from their channel. Within a day of Elon Musk threatening to sue advertisers who removed their advertising from Twitter. I thought the point was adjusting the statement you were given so it sounds like you were making it of your own free will, not mindlessly repeating the same script?

Professional victims Mark Lewis and Mandy Blumenthal still haven't left the UK due to antisemitism like they claimed they were going to do five years ago, but they did turn up to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival to wag their fingers at Reginald D Hunter for one joke before immediately running to Sabrina Miller to quickly dash off a Daily Mail piece which bore no relation to how the events unfolded about how they were being harassed for being Israeli when they aren't Israelis, regardless of the Israeli-sounding pseudonyms Miller gave them

Nothing says "change" quite like Jas Athwal being revealed as a slum landlord whose properties are coated in black mould within weeks of Keir Starmer's Labour Party lying their way into power. Just a reminder, Athwal was parachuted in because Sam Tarry broke the most heinous taboo of joining striking workers on the picket lines...

Pure dystopian horror from Disney as they tried to have a wrongful death lawsuit against them due to somebody's wife dying of an allergic reaction at one of their restaurants tossed out because her husband subscribed to a one-month trial for Disney+ which meant that he had arbitrated all disputes with the corporation

Definitely not weird that Matt Walsh and Mike Lindell infiltrated the DNC in disguises which fooled nobody so they could spend the time stalking the convention floor looking fucking weird

The Olympic coverage from the BBC was the absolute worst of English exceptionalism, best summed up by how their coverage focused on whichever English person who won a bronze medal in one event or another while the person who actually won said event was either barely visible in the corner of the shot or, in some cases, not even named and required a trip to Wikipedia

Andrew Tate's Mini-Me Adin Ross demonstrated just how intelligent he is by violating FEC regulations when gifting registered sex offender Donald Trump a Rolex and a Clustertruck live on stream. So did he learn from this? Of course not, he followed it up by streaming himself offering $1m to dig up dirt on HasanAbi...

Apparently we should blame Ticketmaster for using dynamic pricing to charge absurd amounts for Oasis reunion tickets, but we must certainly not blame Liam and Noel Gallagher for shrugging their shoulders about Ticketmaster using dynamic pricing, as the artists can say whether or not Ticketmaster uses it

Noted rapist Andrew Tate thought it would be a good idea to post a video with him wearing nothing but what appeared to be a pair of bikini briefs - which not only served to demonstrate that Greta Thunberg was right about his small dick energy, but also had Tate's own followers start transvestigating him due to his anatomy being not unlike a Ken doll's

Funny how there wasn't a single End Wokeness tweet for the entire time that Jack Posobiec was livestreaming himself harassing people - but as soon as the livestream finished End Wokeness started tweeting yet again. It's almost like there's a connection...

Once again WWE are booking angles solely to skew Google search results, in this case booking a storyline where Logan Paul kayfabe sues LA Knight - which just so happens to have started a few days after Logan Paul threatened Coffezilla with a very real SLAPP suit for exposing his NFT pyramid scheme. But I'm sure it's just a coincidence, just like the sexting storyline last month which coincided with the latest round of allegations against Vince McMahon from the Janel Grant case...

...though I doubt Logan Paul pushing his dog off a boat into the path of the propeller is going to be a WWE storyline, right? Right...?

Can registered sex offender Donald Trump just admit that he fat fingered Kamala Harris' name so it came out as "Kamabla" and not try and make that a thing to the point that members of his campaign are unthinkingly saying the same thing, because that's what happens when you are members of a cult led by somebody who at this point is either a toddler or merely senile. But hey, at least we're not asking questions about why he's using Jeffrey Epstein's jet or when Taylor Swift is going to sue him off the face of the earth for posting AI generated images of her endorsing his campaign...

[angstfactory]

His respect level for her, dropped tremendously. "Right," Jesse nodded along to her words, in disbelief she would even try to peddle bullshit in his face like that. "It's all jokes. Has no bearing whatsoever. I just made it all up in my head." If Kara wanted to act like her opinion of him wasn't as some shady, lowly person that wouldn't cheat on card games, that was her business. He saw everything he needed to that night, when it was her first and only assumption towards his character. And Jesse would bet all that he owned -- which wasn't much -- that everyone in this town, even the people that called him friend, wouldn't come rushing to him first on anything. He wasn't someone they could rely on.

It didn't matter if that was how Jesse cultivated his image and attitude. They were all supposed to see through that bullshit, right? If they actually cared? Shit, he was still here. A year in, he stayed.

Kara didn't quite manage to look away fast enough. Or maybe he had just been watching her too closely. Some of that defensiveness deflated away, the scowl at his brow smoothing some-- was she.. Jesse thought for a second he surely had to imagine the way her eyes had brightened up suspiciously, like the woman was close to breaking. But as she stared away, he could tell some nerve had been struck true somewhere. Her jaw looked set -- body stiff. Every cue the man himself would have if he was working to keep emotion inside and not have someone else witness it. He'd never seen something like that from her before, wouldn't have believed it possible because Kara acted tough and unaffected all the time.

Yeah, he was hurt. But somehow, hurting her hadn't made him feel any better. In fact, it made Jesse feel worse. Guilt puddled within, just piling on top of all the other crap he wasn't sure how to work through. At this point, it was better he get the hell out of town for their benefit, too. She'd been right, anyway. He was a cheater. How could he be mad about the fact she picked that up? The man could hardly figure out his own contradicting feelings -- they seesawed back and forth, sometimes wildly so. They always had. He'd always been a person with intense emotions and they could often come out in bursts. Jesse was very much someone who could hardly control what came out of his mouth, most times, before his brain could catch up and comprehend the consequences of it.

Jesse stood there, uncertain how to handle the moment. Her upset had startled him right out of his own meltdown. He'd just been angry. He'd been ranting. He'd been tossing out all kinds of shit, he couldn't even remember it all at this point. Tossing everything but the kitchen sink. When it all came right down to it, Kara wasn't his problem. Not really. It could have been any one of them, being collateral damage. And this was just typical Jesse, doing typical Jesse things -- he pushed people away. Especially the ones he cared about. Before they got the chance to do anymore damage to him. He was fucked up enough as it was.

"I can't," Jesse finally said, with a shrug of his shoulders. "I can't talk without being an asshole," he went on, sighing, "because I am an asshole." He stared down at the ground, idly kicking aside a random rock. "I could see your cards in the reflection of the picture behind you." Finally, he looked back up to meet her gaze. "So, you're spot on, detective. I'm a cheater, and an asshole. Now you don't need to waste your time, on someone you know doesn't deserve it." This wasn't an apology, no. But it was some attempt to at least point out that he was nothing but a giant hypocrite, and he knew it. He was giving her the out.

Kara watched him as he went on his rant with a blank expression on her face, lips parted just slightly as if she were going to respond but didn't quite know how to. Was he harping back on that damn card game again? "Yeesh, Jesse. You can't take a little joking? A little playful banter? It was just a stupid game. I'm a sore fucking loser, like you said. Calling you a cheater in a stupid card game has no relation to what I think of you as a person. Everyone gets riled up in stupid games, it doesn't mean anything. And I most certainly didn't say any of the rest of that shit, nor do I believe it." But she didn't think he was talking about her anymore. Or if he was, he certainly had some shit perceptions of her, too. These words that he shot at himself were things that were buried deep down that had come up to the surface. Clearly she wasn't the only one that had some insecurities that had surfaced with the demons.

Then he turned the angry words on her, and she froze as he advanced on her. Accusing her again of not caring about him, of not being here for him when that was the furthest from the truth. Sure, they weren't exactly close, but Kara still did consider him a friend. She cared enough to show up at his stupid junkyard to make sure he'd made it through the weekend okay because she knew it had been tough on most everyone. And in response to her coming here to check on him he was calling her some lowly, horrible person who would come here for what? Some sort of personal comfort instead of care for him? Yeah, she clearly came here to be comforted by his terrible thoughts. She clearly came here to use him. Because that was the kind of person she was.

No. She was just the gum on the bottom of his shoe that he decided to stomp all over.

She couldn't stop the tears that suddenly welled in her eyes at the words, turning her head away from him and looking off into the distance to try and suck the emotion back down, so that he wouldn't see it. She didn't cry. She wasn't a crier. Why did this shit keep bubbling up?

And this? This wasn't just some demon talking, drugging up childhood trauma. No. This was Jesse, aiming daggers at her. For what? What had she done that was so terrible to him? She'd only ever tried to be a friend. Sure, she hadn't wanted to fuck him. But that wasn't friendship. Was that all he'd wanted her for? Now that he'd been rejected and had his little feelings hurt because he couldn't get her in bed, he was going to show his monstrous true colors? No...she didn't really believe that, either. He was hurting. And hurt people hurt people.

"I came here because I was worried about you, and that's all. Clearly I was right to be worried, because you're not okay." She rubbed the back of her hand against her nose, sniffing as she finally looked back at him. "And no, thanks for asking. I'm not okay either. But I don't use people to make myself feel better. So when you're ready to talk and not be an asshole, let me know."

[scoopsgf]

That previous message is so weird like "he hadn't been in her life for so long" and the 'so long' in question is about a year and a half at most since they last saw each other... even if you were to argue that it doesn't count because he left by season 3, that's still just 2.5 years? Like if we were discussing Jess and Rory meeting as adults in their 30s, by which point Rory would've clearly changed from who she was when she was in Chilton, I would understand this assessment but that isn't the case? And like you said, what that line is connected to is very important in that scene. It's pretty obvious that Jess picks up on Rory just not being happy with her current situation: living with her grandparents and having to sneak Jess INSIDE their house because she can't be open with them about having guests, being disconnected to Lorelai, not going at Yale or ANY university, being in the DAR at which even when she explained it to him she quickly tried to dodge questions the first time by saying it's "all temporary"? If Rory had like switched majors or even universities, I honestly don't think Jess would've ever even reacted this strongly because if Rory had been happy with her decision, it would've obviously been fine. But she's not, that's the point. And we keep seeing her unhappiness and depression regarding the whole situation even before Jess comes back and sees her.

Also, I have to note on this, but another recurring misinterpretation of this line is people saying that Jess was just trying to have Rory live up to some pedestal that he put her on. And he says this immediately before going away and LEAVING HER ALONE. Exactly what pedestal is Jess even having Rory on if he sees her like once a year or more (and in the revival 4 years)? It's not like he calls up to regularly check if she's living up to some ideal image he has of her 😭

god you’re absolutely right. it’s not as if a person typically does a 180 and becomes someone completely different in a year and a half, or even in two and a half years—she’s still gonna have the same core values underneath surface differences. like, they both changed of course (and im talking about their characters in s6 here because that’s when jess says “I know you better than anyone”, which I’m assuming is the moment anon was referencing): jess became calmer, less edgy, more open and vulnerable; rory became filled with self-doubt and grew listless. at the end of the day though, she’s still that hard-working girl who fought tooth and nail to get into yale and was so excited at the opportunity. jess doesn’t even have to know rory now to know how much yale meant to her, how important becoming a journalist and seeing the world and being successful was to her. none of those were phases or things subject to alteration with time—those were definite ambitions that she was adamant about working toward, so naturally jess is gonna be super concerned when he sees that she’s abandoned those goals in favor of working with the DAR and partying with logan. like you said, dropping out isn’t the same as doing something like switching a major: it was completely out of character for rory, and someone who cares about her as much as jess does is naturally gonna ask her what the hell is going on.

as for rory living up to jess’s expectations… that actually makes me wanna laugh because, as i’ve discussed multiple times, jess was the only one of rory’s boyfriends (and maybe the only person in her life at all) who didn’t have any expectations for rory whatsoever beyond wanting her to just… be herself. he didn’t want her to become some doting housewife the way dean did, and he didn’t want her to give up on her dreams to follow him across the country like logan did (or be a side-piece stowed away in a house somewhere, just sitting there waiting for him to come and go at his leisure). jess didn’t even want rory to be like him; he encouraged her love of academia even though he personally despised it, and his values were different from her own—he was a workaholic, yet he never pushed that on her; he was more cynical and he never pushed that on her either—but he respected and understood hers. that’s why all of this is so ridiculous. the bottom line is that jess does know rory, and it’s not like he was reaching by asking her what was going on (because something was wrong) so i don’t understand the complaints? especially when his concern for her and his success in life is what spurned rory to return to yale and get back on the right track? genuinely baffled that people think he was out of line when he was literally just someone who loved her expressing concern…

[fernweh-writes]

how about the slasher react to an s/o that who sometimes speaks during their sleep? (Have a nice day :3)

I talk in my sleep according to my family and best friend. My best friend said she had a whole conversation with me while she was in another part of her house and when she walked back into her room I was responding but I was also knocked out. Makes no sense, I still think she’s lying…

-Fern🌿

S/O That Talks in Their Sleep

Michael Myers

Michael has a fucked sleep schedule. The only time he sleeps is when he has to because he physically cannot keep going. Although, occasionally he will take a quick nap purely out of boredom. Other than that, you’re going to have to coax him into bed with you.

Because of this, it’s likely for him to hear you talking in your sleep all of the time. He does enjoy watching you sleep. You look so peaceful and at ease and the steady rise and fall of your chest basically has him in a trance.

Michael isn’t going to mention it to you or anything. It doesn’t phase him, in fact he finds it pretty amusing. It does make him wonder what you’re dreaming about whenever you say something really crazy though. He wishes he knew what was going on inside of your head at all times, even when you’re sleeping.

Bo Sinclair

Bo will find anything and everything he can to use against you. He knows the perfect mix of degrading and praise that will have you hating him and never wanting to leave his side. So of course, this is another thing he will be using against you.

If you try and deny it he’ll find a way to prove it to you. He doesn’t care if he has to stay up all night and record you. One way or another, he’s going to prove it to you or just make a scene and get you to drop it or surrender and just let him be right. He’s always right darlin’.

Of course he is also going to use this knowledge to embarrass you. He’s the king of mansplain, manipulate, manwhore and he knows it. Bo will tell you stuff you most certainly didn’t say just so he can get a reaction out of you.

Vincent Sinclair

When the two of you first get together, he is still very hesitant about sharing a bed with you. He can’t sleep with the wax mask on his face and even though he does care about you, he’s not sure that he’s ready to show you his face quite yet.

Because of this he won’t come to bed with you until he’s dog tired. Vincent will be asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow, not waking up until the morning. So it’s unlikely for your sleep talking to be known by him for a very long time.

Once he gets comfortable with you and is with you while you fall asleep is when he will finally take notice. Even then, it’s very unlikely for him to mention it to you, he doesn’t want you to feel embarrassed. Besides, he thinks that it’s endearing listening to you say random things in your sleep. Some of the things you say are cute and others are just down right funny.

Brahms Heelshire

If you talk in your sleep he’s going to know about it within the first week you’re staying at the Heelshire mansion. He likes to watch you while you sleep and if it’s something that you do frequently he was bound to notice.

Brahms has very limited knowledge on people considering he has lived a very sheltered life and hasn’t socialized whatsoever really. It makes him wonder why you do it, so once he reveals himself to you be prepared for a bunch of questions.

Just don’t let Brahms know that you’re embarrassed about talking in your sleep. He’s a little shit and he would most definitely tease you about it just to get a reaction from you. Also uses it against you in order to get his way, so being made fun of becomes especially common during his tantrums.

Thomas Hewitt

This man sleeps like a rock. The world could be ending and he would sleep through it. Can you really blame him though? Thomas works his ass off to take care of his family, so he stays tired and always sleeps hard.

Because of this it’s very unlikely for him to even notice that you talk in your sleep. Especially if it’s more mumbling than anything because it won’t phase him one bit. If he does happen to hear you though, at first he thinks you’re saying something to him. Only when that something makes absolutely no sense does he realize you’re still sleeping.

Don’t worry about worrying over what you say in your sleep though, Thomas will never bring it up anyways. After all, it’s not like it bothers him considering it took him so long to even notice. On the rare occasion he does hear you he just thinks it’s cute and wonders what you’re dreaming about.

Billy Loomis

This one all depends on where you stand in your relationship with him. If you’re still dealing with that boy next door front he puts up then of course he’s never going to mention it to you. After all, a gentleman like him would never mock his s/o.

But if you’ve reached a point where Billy really is himself around you then congratulations he’s going to tease the hell out of you for it. Obviously he’s going to over exaggerate everything you say in order to make it better blackmail.

Definitely uses the “that’s not what you were saying last night” line in order to mock you. If you claim he’s lying then that’s just to bad considering he was the one awake and listening and you were the one asleep.

Stu Macher

Stu thinks that the things you say in your sleep are absolutely hilarious. Because he enjoys hearing the random things you say so much he never mentions it to you because then you would somehow try and stop, He’s not sure if it’s possible to just stop, but he’s not taking any chances.

Would be the type to write down his favorite things that you’ve said in your sleep. The list ranges from random things you’ve said he thought were funny to the sweet things you’ve mumbled about him without even knowing it.

One day he might just show you the list of phrases he has collected over time. Happily points out his favorite ones, he should make a hall of fame for your sleep talking phrases. Of course, he has to tease you once he finally tells you.

Jesse Cromeans

Jesse has cameras covering every inch of property that he owns. His warehouses have cameras but of course so does his home where you reside. After all he has to make sure the things that are most important to him are looked after.

So, anything you say or do will be caught on camera. Although you have no privacy, you only have no privacy with Jesse, He is the only one with access to the cameras within his home, no one else.

Unfortunately for you this means every embarrassing thing you have said or done has been caught on tape for Jesse to enjoy. While he is temped to tease the hell out of you for it, he ultimately decides against it. He doesn’t want you to stop doing embarrassing things just because you know that he is always watching.

Asa Emory

Asa watches you sleep pretty often so it doesn’t take long for him to pick up on your sleep talking. Even if it is something you don’t do often, he’s a very light sleeper. So if you start talking, it is going to wake him and you’re going to get caught saying who knows what.

He’s not one to really mention those sorts of things, But, if it is something that you do often then it means he own’t be able to sleep good with you next to him. He may care about you but he already doesn’t get enough rest as it is.

On the rare occasion he is home and the two of you fall asleep together, he waits for you to fall asleep and then goes to sleep on the couch to actually sleep through the night. Obviously he can’t get away with it for very long without getting caught. So his great idea is to guilt trip you and make it your problem.