#Nina is an inkling

[yesyourstalker]

Neta: mahi can I ask you a favor?

Mahi: yeah?

Neta: tomorrow before you come in to work can you walk my daughter to the train station?

Mahi: no

Neta: please

Mahi: noooo I'm sorry your daughter is mean and I have to open tomorrow I don't want to wake up even earlier than I have to. Why can't you do it?

Neta: I have to head over to the other store to check up on the baristas. I have to wake up early and I have no time to walk my daughter to school and I don't want her to walk alone because there's weirdos around here.

Mahi: can't you get Baja to do it. she likes Baja.

Neta: I thought about asking him, but no.... she'd probably convinced him to let her skip school. I can't have that

Mahi: *sigh* I'll do it for 50 bucks and 30 minutes added on to my hour lunch

Neta: fine. Just make sure she makes it safe for school, make sure she gets on the train. Don't let her skip, She will try to convince you to do it The train station is only like 45 minutes away. Here's an extra 20 bucks for the train and breakfast, buy some donuts Candi has been craving donuts for the past week.

Mahi:*sigh* if she makes fun of me once I'm leaving her

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Neta: ..*snoring*......*snoring*........

Alarm: BEEP BEEP BEEP

Neta: uhhh fuck....*sniff*.......

Text

Neta: hey Stefan, I'll be there by 9am

Stefan: I'll see you there

Neta: hmmm *yawn*....*huff*

Ikkan: You're up early..... It's 5:00 a.m.

Neta: yeah I have to head up to the other mall. I have to be there for barista training..... Sorry for waking you up

Ikkan: it's fine I have to leave in an hour anyway, I might study some more.

Neta: ok.....[kiss] good luck on your final exam babe I know you'll pass

Ikkan: hmm

Neta: crab cakes you up?

Cirrina: *sleeping*....hmm what? what is it?

Neta: Mahi is going to walk you to school they'll be there at 6:30 ok?

Cirrina: nooooo I can't let everyone see me with them! I can go by myself I'm not a baby anymore

Neta: Be nice. I know you're not cici but I don't feel comfortable with you walking out when it's still dark out alright. I worry.

Cirrina: fine.... If they try to talk to me I'm ditching them

Neta: Don't be difficult crab cakes. Get ready for school.

Cirrina: *humpf*

Text

Cici: change of plans

Maria: wht? We're not ditching?

Cici: we are I will explain it to you when we meet up. Just wear your uniform and pack your other clothes in your weapons bag.

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Mahi: *yawn*.....*huff*........ .

Baja: morning Mahi You're up early. Don't you have to go work at 7:00?

Mahi: I have to do this stupid thing for my boss. Why are you up?

Baja: I'm always up at this time. I usually just go jogging. You want to join me sometime maybe. it's good for you

Mahi:.......no......

Baja: oh.....ok.... Well if you ever up to it I'm always up at 6:00 every day except Saturday. That's my break day

Mahi: yeah yeah I get it. You live a healthier lifestyle than me. I get it bye a

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Neta: hello?

Stefan: are you here yet? I'm here. My apprentice is here. My other employee just showed up

Neta: You hired another employee?? We just needed one

Stefan: technically she is not an employee. She is my assistant but she will be supervising the shop as well

Neta: well the store is a couple ways away. It should take me around 4 hours since there's no traffic so you're just going to have to wait

Stefan: very well I suppose I can wait............*sigh*............ Toguni......

Toguni: Yes sir

Stefan: Make me a flat white please

Toguni: Yes sir with almond milk?

Stefan: Yes, of course. Take a note When you start to recognize regulars I would advise you to remember their orders. Not only does it save time, but it also builds a relationship between you and your customers.

Toguni: yes sir

Stefan: uh hmm... Pacifica

Pacifica: Yes sir?

Stefan: I want you to set a reminder for the of construction of the lounge area I'm tied between modern rustic or brutalism? What do you think?

Pacifica: I'm more of a brutalism type it person

Stefan: Toguni... What do you think?

Toguni uhhhhh..... I like the wood finish it would go well with the concrete walls and floor...... Maybe add some plants. It would be good like instead of just brutalism and they could be eco brutalism

Stefan:. ............*inhale*...............................*exhale*.............................*sip*.............*sip*........hmm

Toguni: did I-.......... Did I say something wrong?......

Stefan: It's perfect, genius, amazing. Pacifica!

Pacifica: I put it in order for wood panels and several tubs of concrete sir.

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Mahi: *sigh*........ Cirrina!! Come on! Hurry up I don't have all morning!

Cirrina: I'm right here Cod!

Mahi: ...... ....... what's that thing?

Cirrina: it's a cello I have orchestra this week

Mahi: All right, whatever let's go

Cirrina: yeah do you mind walking behind me? I don't want people to think I'm with you or anything

Mahi: nope. I'm standing right next to you like my boss wants me to do

Cirrina: *ugh* ....*huff* what ever...... Just leave when I'm at the train station

Mahi: Neta said I can't leave until I see you get on the train so.....

Cirrina: well I can just tell him that you did. You don't need to be with me!

Mahi: hmmmmmm nah I need to make sure you're safe

Cirrina: You're only doing this to annoy me

Mahi: am I? I can't tell

Cirrina: Ugggg fuck off!

Mahi: hehehehehe Cirrina! You can't go ahead of me. I have to keep my eyes on you just in case.

Cirrina:....*huff*.............hey guys

Friend 1 (Pinta) : hey Cirrina.......is that the cute Tetra you were talking about?

Cirrina: obviously not, look at them.

Mahi: .........................

Friend 2 (Nina): how come your dad isn't here. Isn't it his turn to stay at the train station hehehe

Cirrina: ew Nina, stop. He's literally old, He has some stupid word thing. he has his employee walking us today.

Friend 3 (Maria): so what's the plan we can't get on the train?

Cirrina: instead of the train station we go to the manhole. We tell them that we go to underground school and we go through the manhole and wait till they're gone.

Friend 1: That's the plan?

Friend 2: You think that's a good idea?

Cirrina: I think so

Mahi: what are you guys whispering about

Cirrina: we're talking about our bra sizes. Why are you so invested Weirdo?

Mahi: *eh*.... alright......sorry

Cirrina: alright we're at the train station. See ya

Mahi: now I just need to wait for the train

Friend 1: yeah the train is underground

Mahi: huh?

Friend 2: yeah the train is underground.... We don't go to school with a surface dwellers

Friend 3: could you imagine. *Ugh*

Cirrina: You're doing too much Maria ........yep! So you can go now. Bye. We're heading out to school

Mahi: alright, Open the hatch.

Cirrina: what?

Mahi: Open the hatch so I can climb down with you guys and make sure you get on the train?

Cirrina:(glaring)........................................................ fine

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Stefan: what would you do if I give you a work uniform

Toguni: uhhhh Wear it.......

Stefan: what would you wear?

Toguni: ...................... What you give me?

Stefan: ..... What do you wear on a regular basis?

Toguni: black shirt, a jacket........some jeans and...... shoes

Stefan: would you be able to pull off corset?

Toguni:uhhhhh

Stefan: Pacifica put in an order for a male corset what is your size?

Toguni: I usually wear a medium for space but I can fit in a small......

Stefan: what is your shoe size?

Toguni: 7.......

Stefan:.............. Take off your jacket............. Okay turn around do a spin full 180........ok.......ok..... I can work with this. Pacifica put it in order for 3 blazers, 3 vests, 4 blouses and 2 pairs of slacks and 4 pairs of dress shoes all in the color scheme we addressed earlier.

Pacifica: right away sir they will be arriving in an hour. Do you still want me to order the corset

Stefan: order 5

Toguni:.hmmmmm

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Friend 1: Cirrina

Cirrina: we'll hang around in octavo valley for a while. Their turf maps open around 8:00 so we can stay there and then head up after

Friend 2: *ugh* we can't go around octavo valley

Cirrina: what's wrong with octavo valley?

Friend 2: oh my god don't be like that.....you know exactly what I meant. We had plans and everything we were going to wahoo world first

Friend 3: we also wanted to go to mahi-mahi we bought our bathing suits and everything

Cirrina: All right! Okay, let's just get on the train and we'll figure it out! I know my way around this place. You guys are being such surface dwellers

Mahi: so when's the train showing up?

Cirrina: it shows up when it shows up *pff*

Mahi: ok..... It's weird because the only school in this area down here is a cuddleton high. Last time I checked you girls aren't in high school

Friend 1: why are you so invested in what school we go to? Are you going to follow us or something? Don't you have like a job or a life?

Mahi: listen I'm just doing what my boss tells me . I'm not trying to get fired because I lost his daughter all right.

Cirrina: You don't give a shit. You're just doing this to be an assho-.........…hi daddy!

Neta: hi crab cakes! I'm just calling in. Did you make it on the train safely?

Carrie: yeah I'm on the train right now heading to school and everything. How are you? Are you at the mall yet?

Neta: yeah I made it here quicker than I thought. Have fun at school okay? Please don't get into another fight

Cirrina: I won't.

Neta: alright sweet heart.

Cirrina: ok love you bye daddy!!

Neta: bye. I love you too carb cakes

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Neta: alright... she's safe........so........... Why am I here?

Stefan: well first I need a consultation about the lounge area

Neta: well uhhhhh I was planning on just making it look like the bottom floor you know just.... With couches and chairs and tables and stuff.

Stefan: what do you think of an eco brutalist design?

Neta: oh........uhhhh I mean the lounge is a loft area. It's not a separate room entirely..... so it still kind of has to flow with the original design of the store but.................uh..........

Stefan:..........................................

Neta: ................... do you have any reference photos of what you have in mind?

Stefan: certainly of course. Pacifica!

Pacifica: here you go

Neta: thank you.... Pacifica..........ehhhhhh oh...um ............. Make the wood a bit darker and the concrete black........ with.....warmer lighting. The pictures you're showing me look pretty.............. Sterile.. .

Stefan: hmmm............ I guess you're right........ Pacifica.

Pacifica: editing the order now sir

Neta: is this why you called me here? I thought I was going to train Toguni. Also, I hired an interior designer. Aren't they supposed to be here too?

Stefan: I got rid of them. I told him they're only allowed to work downstairs. They're not working up here.....*heh*.... No.......This is my vision!...........This is my space!!

Neta: I understand that, but you know it doesn't hurt for them to help

Stefan: no!

Neta: ok.

Stefan:............. Thank You for your understanding..............*sigh*........... Anyway.............. I'm so sorry. Do you want coffee? So rude of me to not ask you that. Hahah

Neta: No, I'm fine I-

Stefan: Toguni make me a vanilla macchiato! Sugar free!

Toguni: Yes sir!

Neta: ok.........I guess I'll have one cup coffee

Stefan: yeah about that....... We need to go over the menu. I would love if you sampled some of our pics

Neta: just give me one second... I need to make a call

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Cirrina: welp We already missed the train to school anyway so you can go now bye ......

Mahi: I could go but I could also call your dad and tell him the truth........... Looks like I don't have to call him. He's calling me

Cirrina: shit

Mahi: hey Neta

Neta: hey Mahi Cirrina's on the train right?

Mahi: uh... what?..... I'm sorry shitty signal. I can't hear you..... You're breaking up! Sorry......................so..... How much are you going to pay me for not snitching?

Cirrina: .... I'm not paying you anything!!

Mahi: All right, I guess I'll just call your dad back and I'll let him know that you and your little friends never got on the train and you're planning on ditching school so........

Cirrina: Cod fine. ................I only have 15 bucks

Mahi: 15?.........hmmmm..... I don't know.... Doesn't seem like a lot

Cirrina: 20... That's all I'm willing to give

Mahi: ... ..............nah ... Taking money from 15-year-old girl doesn't seem right.....

Cirrina: then what the fuck do you want-

Mahi: hold up..... Hello

Neta: can you hear me now?

Mahi: yeah, I can hear you

Neta: You walked her the train station?

Mahi: yep, they're on the train and they're at school. I'm heading off to work right now

Neta: All right good. Thanks for doing this for me Mahi glad I can trust you with this

Mahi: all right......... I decided not to snitch so I guess you owe me now.

Cirrina: what do you want?

Mahi: The tidal wave music festival is coming up in the summer. I need two all access passes for 1 day......... You think you can convince your dad to give you two of them for free? I know I can get them with a big discount and everything but you know it's still expensive and I have bills to pay....

Cirrina:............... fine.... I can see what I can do........

Mahi: alright.... I guess we have a deal

Cirrina: All right, how about this? I can give you two access pass for 2 days and you walk us to the train stop every Friday for a months so we can ditch school.

Mahi: ..........alright fine.

Cirrina: Good.

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Stefan: okay, so this is our mint mocha iced cappuccino. Really taking that flavor of mint. I feel like this is going to be a great seller during the summer. Ironic because this was our holiday blend.

Neta: ok.....sip.... it's good it tastes like mint

Stefan: Great! Now I want you to sample caramel latte and salted caramel latte. This menu is going to be all specialty drinks some come from my holiday menus and the others were limited time releases. Caramel latte is the standard, but the salted caramel was only served during the fall via 2017.

Toguni: here you go sir.............. I'm so sorry

Neta: It's fine. It's not your fault.............sip...........sip......... Yeah..... I like both of them. They're very good. Very caramel flavor. Yep

Stefan: All right. Perfect Pacifica

Pacifica: adding that to the menu sir

Neta: I'm heading to the bathroom

Stefan: This is your 3rd trip! we haven't tried the apple crisp macchiato that was a on our fall collection for 2019 that was a big hit.

Neta: You've already given me 20 cups of coffee and several varieties of creamer that is the equivalent to 5 jugs of water and 4 laxatives for me. Let me go Okay Let me go to the bathroom Cod damn Feels like I'm being tortured

Stefan: very well I guess we have to wait another 15 minutes...... I don't understand what his problem is. We've been drinking the same amount of coffee and we're perfectly fine. Right Toguni?

Tonugi: uh huh We really are sir......(Discreetly pouring two cups of coffee down the sink)

Stefan: some people just don't appreciate this art form. .......hmmm ..... Pacifica remind me to order a commission with that one artist who painted a mural for my house. Toguni would you be able to stand still for a portrait?

Toguni: uhhhhh I-I don't know

Neta:.ok I'm all better for now why don't we take a break from coffee sampling Toguni Do you know how to use the register?

Toguni: yes sir.

Neta: All right did you watch all the videos about sanitation?

Toguni: yes

Neta:safety?

Toguni: yes

Neta: and your benefits?

Toguni: Yes sir I did

Neta: all right You don't need to call me sir by the way just call me neta (clap) I think I think we're done for the day. I'm going home This has been *burp* excuse me An experience I gonna go to the bathroom

Stefan: Wait, I need your opinion about uniform

Neta: just give him everything and he can pick and choose what he wants to wear that day Oh my COD can I go now I feel like I'm going to be sick Again

Stefan: fine. What do you think?

Toguni: I think that would be fun to do. Different look every day...... free clothes is a perk too

Stefan:..... Great! At least someone is being optimistic thank you Toguni.

Toguni: is he going to be okay?

Stefan: he's just being dramatic

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Mahi: Good morning!

Candi: You're an hour late what were you doing that was so important!! It's literally a Friday!!! This is our busiest day! What kind of manager is fucking late while everyone else is here on time?!?!

Mahi: hi Candi... You want a donut? I got one with the dried shrimp on it just for you.

Candi:...................................... thank you *eating*

Mahi: You're welcome! Here I got you one too Vinny hope you like strawberry

Vinny: I do actually. thanks

Mahi: All right, let's start the day

Text

Mahi: Im planning to go to the tidal wave music festival you want in?

Umishi: I don't have the money for that :(

Mahi: it's fine I can get you in. I'm blackmailing a 15-year-old

Umishi: I have several questions

Mahi: too bad

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Ikkan: hey I passed my exam I'm going to be graduating next month. My parents and Noji are going to be staying over at my place You need to help me set up the guest bedroom.

Neta: That's great honey, I'm so happy for you [kisskisskisskisskisskisskisskisskisskiss]

Ikkan: hehehehehe ok...ok....I also bought you ginger soda and Pepto pill like you asked you okay?

Neta: yeah..... just.... Just a little stomach ache is all come here sit with me on the couch for a while Maybe celebrate later with some takeout

Ikkan: Neta you're shaking. Are you okay what's your glucose level?

Neta: 60 I checked I'm great fine I'm amazing I feel fantastic. I just had really really strong coffee and several cups a lot of cups of coffee I only had one panic attack and I only threw up twice so I'm fine I'm fine I'm good i'm amazing

Cirrina: Hi Dad, I'm back from school. My friends are here, put some pants on.

Neta: i never took them off

Friend 2: hiiiiii Mr V.

Cirrina: Nina I swear to Cod

Ikkan: hey cici

Cirrina: hi ikkan

Ikkan: wait Cirrina why are you wearing your swim top? Where's your uniform?

Cirrina:..................... Well.....

Friend 1: we finished our rehearsal early so mr. Luminelli let us leave early. I got our mom to pick us up and take us to mahi-mahi

Neta: oh that's nice of Mr. Luminelli Tell your mom I said thank you

Cirrina: alright.......... I just came here to get an extra set of clothes I'm staying over at pintas for a slumber party

Neta: okay sweetheart. Have fun.

Cirrina: bye love you

Neta:bye sweetie they definitely skip school

Ikkan: You're going to ground her?

Neta: no let her have her fun I've skipped school before and I turned out fine

Ikkan: your heartbeat hasn't slowed down for the past 15 minutes......*sigh*..... Let's just have a quick visit to emergency

Neta: noooo I'm fine I'm just anxious. It's just anxious and I'm fine. I just had a little too much to drink

Ikkan: It's just a quick visit just to make sure you're actually okay

Neta:................

Ikkan: we can get takeout after

Neta:.................ok....... Can I have the bathroom first?

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Mahi is also blackmailing @fish-at-fish-fish-resort

Toguni was found in a box by @conkreetmonkey

Umishi is still concerned about the concerning text @catastropic

[ask-kallem-and-co]

Hey agents 3 and 4. Are you guys aware that you sometimes look like you're glowing in the dark? If you are able to why not act like a night light to the kid? Or have you guys thought of that already?

“Nina is busy trying to catch Kal to put him to bed. He’ll gladly put his Jammies on but the second he hears the words bedtime he’s booking it to another room in an attempt to avoid it. He’s not scared of the dark and he has a nightlight shaped like a rocket. He just for whatever reason hates going to bed when Hana and/or Rev aren’t home.” ~ Luke

“Kallem Seram Ida get back here it is bedtime! You know the rules!” ~ Nina

“NO! No bedtime!” ~ Kallem

[sneakyscarab]

todays art is a squid and an octopus from splatoon! they are friends <3

[geroya]

head in my hands. fingers fisted in my hair. now im thinking about that au....

[fantastic-nonsense]

It's actually kind of insane how little the rest of the Crows canonically know about Inej's past when you think about it

I know we know all of these awful, terrible details about Inej's abduction and year in the Menagerie, but I think a lot of people forget that no one else knows what she went through. She keeps her own secrets and trauma as close as she does everyone else's. Even Kaz only has "the barest inkling of what she’d endured there," and he's both someone whose actual job entailed collecting secrets from Heleen and the only one who ever actually saw Inej there.

Jesper and Nina probably know some of it (probably different parts than Kaz), but there's so much about that time that Inej just. doesn't talk about. with anyone, and the only reason anyone knows about it at all is because there was literally no hiding where she came from and what happened to her

this also led me to the realization that most of our knowledge of Inej's childhood and Suli culture comes from her internal monologues, the flashbacks to her and her parents, or her time in captivity when she's being sweet-talked by Bajan and not anything she actually says out loud to anyone of her own free will

so now I'm just like….thinking about how little Inej actually says about herself to other people and how isolated that probably made her feel during her time with the Dregs

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

Hi grl! First of all I wanted to tell you how much I ABSOLUTELY ADORED your kaz x reader series (exactly as you are)! The way you treated kaz character, how he actually cares (even if he tries to mask it) about the reader and his crows, how he wants to be better for reader, and how he consideres himself weak when he fails at a simple thing like touching his loved one or expressing his feelings... Besides, I hate it when people just ignore kaz haphephobia and trauma but, again, your work was amazing.

Now that you're taking requests, could you maybe do a one-shot/two-shot about him and non grisha crow!fem!reader? Maybe a flangst/fluff, something to do with him trying to overcome his touch aversion brick by brick for her, or with a sunshine reader who's been through so much trauma but she's a sunshine (not naive) with everyone to try and lighten their moods and hide her trauma... or idk literally about anything you can think of (I just want some kazzle dazzle content tbh hehe)

Thank you so much, you're great <33

Your girl is rusty when it comes to Kaz but boy do I miss him. So, I hope you will enjoy this!🫧

warnings: abuse, blood and implied violence.

Petal

On nights when Kaz felt like sabotaging himself, and that was most nights, he forced himself to watch your restless form as nightmare after nightmare ripped through your mind, making you claw at the plush blanket beneath you, drenching you in cold sweat. Kaz forced himself to watch because it’s his fault. His fault that he didn’t see it. How could he sit here and claim that he knew it all? Knew even the exact time a leaf was going to fall from a tree when he missed something so important right in front of his nose.

Kaz remembers the time you had first stepped into the club. Hair windswept. The cloak way too thin for the winds outside. You had barely given yourself a chance to look around before your whole body grew stiff as you prepared yourself for the worst. See, Kaz had been forced by Nina to hand out leaflets about the club hiring new staff. “You can be wiping your ass with the coins you have and I’m there alone with cracked skin on my hands”.

But everything had screamed at Kaz to say no from the moment he saw you. Too sweet. Too pure. Too innocent. Who even wears flowers in their hair in the dead of autumn? Yet he couldn’t look away. “We don’t sell cakes here, move along”, his cold voice cut through the silence, as he motioned you back to the door with his cane. One more beat of surprise and fear. And yet another beat came out clean and steady. “I can sell beer too or whatever that you sell here”, your hands had been clenched in fists as you spoke. A slight tremble. But even the dismissive silence hadn’t chased you away. “I can mop the floor, I can do it all. Can even sing if guests need entertainment. I just…”, that whole time you had been talking to the darkness. Since the club was empty still Kaz was a fan of hiding in its corners. “You don’t even have to pay much just so I could buy some food”, that had stirred something deep in Kaz. Imagines of Jordie flashed by. Empty stomachs. Cold streets. But then if you were suffering from the same fate he had you wouldn’t be standing there shining like the sun in the spring sky.

But Kaz hadn’t even been close to imagining what you were going through. Nina had fallen in love with you almost immediately so the hustle of you two twirling through the club had become a regular sight. It was the difference in your stance that the first monthly pay had made. You had been late to work the first day after. Your movements were slower. Eyes hollow and tired. “Well one of us celebrated nicely huh”, Nina had nudged you, “Up all night spending that earned coin”, you had returned her smile with a somewhat made-up smile of your own but that had been the first time Kaz had an inkling that something was happening behind close doors.

“You can eat food in the club, you know”, Kaz had managed to find you alone in the storage room, organizing the boxes. Your hair was falling out of the loosely done bun, draping across your face in such an enchanting way that Kaz had to make sure to not let his jaw hang low. You had swept some of it away with the back of your hand, “there’s no need, plenty of food at home”, you said. It was a slight jab and your eyes instantly had grown wide at the realization so you added, “Thanks to you, of course”.

Kaz had humbled, letting his gaze linger. “You can also, as an employee, stay here for the night if there’s a need”, and there it was that sharp bob of your throat. But you shook your head, “I appreciate it but”, you shrugged, “I’m fine in my own home”. You wondered if he was going to push or order you to do so but Kaz had simply turned around and walked away but his mind was already set. Just things had been set into motion even sooner than he expected because a couple of days later you had once again barely been walking at the end of the week.

“You’re stalling orders, man don’t like waiting”, Kaz said firmly, for the first time making you flinch slightly. “I’ll pick it up, I’m sorry”, you said bluntly, reaching for two more pines when Kaz’s eyes drifted to your exposed wrist.

The end of his cane pressed against the purple mark, “What is this?”, his tone was cold, dripping ice. You knew how he was with his investments. No flaws. Always useful. “I… A barrel fell…”, you mustered, making Kaz raise a brow, “A barrel?”. You nodded eagerly, maybe too eagerly. “And left fingerprints on your skin? Do you think I’m stupid?”, Kaz’s tone had turned sour. You quickly shook your head, “Of course no, you are the best…”, “Who did this to you, YN?”, Kaz cut you off making you look up at him instantly.

You couldn’t tell him. He couldn’t know. “It’s nothing…”, you whined right as Kaz stepped right in front of you his gloved hand now the one wrapped around your aching wrist. That not only was purple and blue but also broken. “Looks like something to me. Who?”, Kaz demanded. His electric blue eyes pierce your soul. You let out yet another whimper as your eyes started burning with tears. You had a feeling what end the person would meet and her and now you were the one vowing the thread of life. “My father”, your voice had been barely a whisper but Kaz’s face had turned ashen. And then he turned around. As if haven’t just given him your biggest secret.

“Kaz”, you called after him. Wanted to reach for him yet more than aware that he hated touch. “Go to the office in the back of the club”, he turned back, white medical wrap in his hands, “You are staying in the house from tonight”. Taken back all you could was watch him. As his trembling hands reached for your wrist, wrapping it up for support.

“But…”, you muttered. “Nina will bring you food and then walk you to your new place”, he was speaking as if all of this had been set for months. “Kaz…”, you tried to cut in but it’s like your words didn’t reach him. “You won’t be working for the rest of the week”, he grumbled and you failed to understand if that annoyed him or not. “Kaz, please”, you muttered but once his eyes met yours his expression was like nothing you had seen before, “Any stuff you want for yourself from that place?” You blinked a couple of times before shaking your head. Kaz’s fingers lingered on your skin before he dropped your hand, “Good”, he said as if you had signed your life away to him fully and stepped out of the back room.

Now weeks down the line here he is. With your father’s blood on his hands. Still lingering. It didn’t give him the closure Kaz wanted. The old fuck died too quickly for his liking. Not to mention that Kaz hated the man even more now because even if physical he wasn’t here. His actions still haunted you. “Please”, you cried, head turning to the side as you tried to flee from the horror, “Don’t lock at the door, no, papa”. Kaz pulled back from the wall he had been leaning against, crossing the room in a couple of strong steps. Then there was the choice that he had to make. He doubted that seeing him first thing out of a nightmare would make you happy. So he slowly, through gritted teeth made himself lay on the side of your bed. Now his own frightened eyes watched you because Kaz could feel the heat from your body.

Your head turned to the side with another plea, this time hitting Kaz’s arm. His whole body got ridged. The salty smell of the sea filled his senses. But then a content sigh leaves your lips and Kaz sees the tension in your body fading. The content was minimal. Your forehead was resting against his upper arm, fingers grazing his palm. Kaz took a sharp breath in. Making himself turn to look at you fully. His heart practically clawing at the chest at the sight of your clam features. All because of… but he didn’t let himself entertain that thought. Not now. Not tonight, “I’ll always protect you, petal”.

[eldritch-nightmare]

do they have deal breakers?

a/n: idk i just thought this would be an interesting thing to write.

synopsis: what are some deal breakers for them? what can they not tolerate?

includes: slenderman, jeff the killer, eyeless jack, laughing jack, jane the killer, nina the killer, the bloody painter, candy pop, the doll maker, jason the toymaker, dr smiley, nurse ann, the puppeteer, clockwork, zalgo, hobo heart, ticci toby, zero, kagekao, nathan the nobody, homicidal liu + sully, tim wright, brian thomas, jay merrick, jessica locke, and alex kralie.

SLENDERMAN doesn't have a lot of deal breakers, to be quite honest. it doesn't have any preferences when it comes to romance. i suppose if it had to pick something, it would say that it would rather avoid dating people with a disdain towards nature. it literally lives in nature, so... it would also probably avoid people who have children in their life, be it a parent or a teacher.

JEFF THE KILLER has a two off the top of his head. firstly, he will never date a Fangirl capital 'F'. if he even gets the slightest inkling that someone might be a fan of his, it's an immediate no and that person very well may lose their life. and secondly, he refuses to date anyone who hates his brother. yeah, he and liu don't get along and liu wants him dead but in his mind, liu is still the most important person in jeff's life. people who commit arson are on thin fucking ice.

EYELESS JACK is fairly lax when it comes to 'deal breakers'. he doesn't have anything he dislikes, and there isn't any type of behavior that he necessarily avoids either. people who aren't fond of cannibalism would be difficult to date, he supposes. he doesn't really like people who may try keeping his as a pet either. and... maybe people who are in cults...

LAUGHING JACK is one sick and twisted bastard so deal breakers are very unlikely. realistically, his partner being around kids should probably be a deal breaker but that's... literally the only way to meet him. he's incredibly complex so he really won't know his own deal breakers until he's like... in the situation, y'know?

JANE THE KILLER has one immediate deal breaker. if you like jeff the killer, she immediately feels immense disdain toward you and she will never even acknowledge your existence, not unless she's forced to. jane richardson is also lesbian, so men are an immediate no.

NINA THE KILLER has one immediate deal breaker as well. if you dislike jeff the killer, she will not get along with you. she and jeff have a love-hate relationship but at the end of the day, he's still her idol and she looks up to him a lot, so.

THE BLOODY PAINTER barely interacts with people to really know if he has any deal breakers. perhaps people who dislike art? though, he can't really fault someone for not seeing the beauty held within the multitudes of art all around the world.

CANDY POP isn't the biggest fan of people he deems to be annoying or boring. now, i know what you're thinking, candy pop literally finds joy in annoying people, so wouldn't he be delighted to have a partner who behaves the same way? absolutely not. he likes to be the one terrorizing people; he does not want to be terrorized.

THE DOLL MAKER is immediately hesitant around older men, so if you are a guy and you're older than him then just know he'll avoid you like the plague. also, due to his pyrophobia, arsonists and people fascinated by fire get an immediate no from him. anyone who may poke fun at the dolls he creates aren't welcome either, and he'll probably end up turning them into a doll.

JASON THE TOYMAKER has one goal only and it is to find 'the one for him' so like... not many deal breakers here. just fall in love with him and never ever reject him and everything will be good! you'll be turned into a wax doll, otherwise, and that's a terrible fate to suffer.

DR SMILEY also rarely interacts with people, though he's not the biggest fan of people who so desperately cling to life and believe that death is something to be afraid of.

NURSE ANN just doesn't like people in general and only has like... three people she enjoys being around so the likelihood of her growing to like someone is small. that being said, something that immediately makes her dislike a person is when they mock her for not speaking often.

THE PUPPETEER has major disdain for people he cannot control. unless he's already grown attached to (ex. emra) or reliant on them (ex. zachary), then disobedience is not something he can tolerate. he's also not the biggest fan of super-duper cheerful people, though that's only because it makes killing them harder.

CLOCKWORK by default cannot stand anyone who reminds her of her past. she wants nothing more than to forget the pain and hell she went through, so to find a person who reminds her of all that trauma? yeah, no, they gotta go.

ZALGO literally hates everything and everyone but on the very slight chance that someone manages to worm their way into the essence of his being, then so long as they don't mind humanity's downfall then they're fine. bonus points if they're good with kids because holy shit he doesn't know how to be a dad. and if they dislike kids then like... that's fine, i guess, but he'll be a bit bitter.

HOBO HEART is fairly hesitant when it comes to love. the one time he fell in love, she threw his heart away. he's hesitant to fall in love again, but he could never fall for anyone who would so willingly leave him behind. he's not the biggest fan of liars either. simply put, he could never love someone who doesn't value their own heart.

TICCI TOBY already keeps people at a distance, but it's an immediate deal breaker when someone starts making fun of him. if someone makes a bad comment about lyra or his mother, then that's also an immediate no. anyone who heavily drinks alcohol is a no. anyone who 'teases' him about his tourette's is a no. anyone who doesn't take his CIPA seriously is a no.

ZERO could never be in a relationship with someone with the mindset of 'i can fix her' because she doesn't need to be fixed. honestly, you should consider yourself lucky that she's somehow managed to grow an attachment to you considering her disregard for everyone around her. do something to make her hate you and you'll regret it.

KAGEKAO is gay, first and foremost, so if you're a woman then it just won't work out. he's fluent in english as well so you don't necessarily have to know japanese, though he'd love for you to learn. people who make comments about his wine habits or tell him to cut back on drinking wine will be disposed of immediately. he also isn't fond of boring people.

NATHAN THE NOBODY tends to believe that most people are in the organization that took away his sister, so by default, it's an immediate no if he comes to believe that someone is in the organization. he can't come to terms with his sister's death, so he'll get rid of anyone who tries to make him see that she's dead.

HOMICIDAL LIU hardly ever gives romance any thought because he's so caught up in his goal of trying to kill jeff that it rarely ever crosses his mind, so deal breakers aren't something he's given much thought. people who aren't fond of arson probably won't like liu, so they're a no. anyone who thinks he should forgive jeff is an immediate no. anyone who is a fangirl of jeff or idolizes him the way nina does is also an immediate no. people who aren't fond of smoking most certainly won't like him so they're also a no. anyone who sees no harm in mocking and bullying other people is a no.

SULLY has deal breakers relatively similar to liu. if you're a jeff groupie then he honestly wants nothing to do with you. if you are a threat to liu in any way shape or form, then he's already planning a way to dispose of you. other than that, he's pretty laid back with this sort of stuff.

TIM WRIGHT has a habit of smoking so people who can't stand the smell of cigarette smoke should probably avoid him. he isn't close to a lot of people so when someone betrays his trust, it really hits him hard so people with a habit of lying are an immediate no.

BRIAN THOMAS is a bros before hoes sorta guy in the sense that if his partner doesn't like his friends then suddenly he doesn't have a partner anymore. he can't date someone who dislikes the people he's closest to, it just doesn't work that way. especially if they dislike tim, like... that's his best friend there, dude.

JAY MERRICK is a gay man so if you are a woman, then... yeah. it won't work. you stand no chance with jay if you don't believe him when he tells you that something is seriously wrong. he doesn't like people who avoid telling him about an issue because it stresses him out a lot so he would rather prefer people who can openly tell him if something is wrong.

JESSICA LOCKE is lesbian, so men simply just do not have a chance with her. she doesn't really have many deal breakers though, to be honest. at least none that come to the top of her head. she'd probably have to experience something to decide whether or not that's a deal breaker for her, y'know?

ALEX KRALIE is like... deeply unhinged in every way possible and will try killing his partner no matter what, so. let's just use the alex before all the operator stuff happened! he can't be with anyone who doesn't support him or his passion project, marble hornets. and in the midst of marble hornets, he will try to kill his partner. there's no avoiding that. he, himself, is a deal breaker, gotta be honest here.

[oprahwinfreyjrjr]

My Favorite Frenchie Looks

Completely subjective and in no particular order.

Bunny crop top? ✅ Knife harness? (Who is he stabbing???) ✅ Plaid pants and a little happy trail? ✅ I love that Frenchie is wanted by the FBI, holed up in a dank basement in Queens, and still has time to look hot and accessorize. This is also the first inkling we got that our boy has style.

I imagine Frenchie was on his way to bake madeleines with this girl he just met, looked in the mirror and thought, “Hmmm…this needs something…” And then he added a little bandanna because he wanted to look cute to impress Kimiko. The flour on the cheeks is a nice touch.

Bare ass naked, covered in blood, and rocking a bicycle lock statement necklace. Okay, technically he did not choose this ensemble but that doesn’t take away the fact that he looks amazing.

Naked and crying 😢

Look how cute and worried he is. I bet Kimiko steals this sweatshirt all the time.

Cute and sassy and prepared to do 8 to 10 in a maximum security prison. I like that he has different colored hair in the flashbacks. It’s a nice character note that Frenchie has always been a bit of a peacock. Also, I think they should let Frenchie wear more jewelry.

This season 4 hair and the sunglasses 🥵🔥

It seems like the Season 4 wardrobe got an upgrade too, possibly courtesy of a fat CIA salary? They knew what they were doing with this slow pan up. The boots are sick, as are the bondage pants. But I love that he’s still wearing this old army jacket that’s barely held together with safety pins and patches. Frenchie is loyal. He loves things, even when they are falling apart.

I love this ugly sweater and the fact that he always customizes his clothes—chopping off the hems, sewing on patches, cutting bigger necklines. (My personal head canon is that after working for Little Nina, Frenchie can’t stand anything tight around his neck.) Frenchie may be a reformed assassin, but he still takes pleasure in beauty.

Finally, I love how as their relationship has evolved, Kimiko and Frenchie’s styles seem to have subtly influenced the other. There are the his and hers ripped jeans, military jackets, and matching combat boots. They just make sense together. 🥰

[intimidating-fettuccine]

I have no idea if this counts as a lore related question or not but,, which Mario kart characters do u think the creeps main? Just out of curiosity lol 😭 if u don’t wanna answer no pressure 😋

This does count as a general question :) I hadn't considered this before, so here you go!

Also, I think some of them would want the same character sometimes depending on who is playing with who, so in those instances I gave them two options :)

Jeff: Rosalina or Bowser BEN: Link or Rosalina EJ: Technically he can't see so he can't play, but based on vibes Shy Guy LJ: Roy or Wario Toby: Waluigi or Cat Peach Tim: Bowser or Dry Bowser Brian: Daisy or Toad Slender: Lets Sally pick for him, and she most often gives him Lakitu or Ludwig Liu: Yoshi (Sully would also pick Yoshi) Jane: Pink Gold Peach Natalie: Toadette or King Boo Helen: King Boo or Inkling Girl Smiley: Bowser Jr. Sally: Alternates between Baby Peach, Baby Daisy, and Baby Rosalina Offender: Lemmy or Peach Trender: Peach or Daisy Splendor: Toad or Larry Jason: Cat Peach or Ludwig Puppeteer: Morton or Wario Zalgo: Dry Bowser or King Boo Candy: Iggy (Terrors would pick Bowser) Hobo: Shy Guy Nina: Wendy Kate: Luigi or Wario

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Back on my analysis nonsense but not quite awake enough to write a full essay right now so please enjoy this snippet of analysis about Inej, language, and the word “girl”. It’s all stuff I’ve talked about before but I haven’t given it’s own post before and I’ve been rereading some of my old stuff to get back in the mindset so I thought I’d bring this back up because I find it really interesting - I’m also really hoping to write the post about Fruszi that I’ve been planning on doing for basically since season 2 came out tomorrow or at least very soon so hopefully that won’t be too long

Inej Ghafa, Language, and the Word “Girl”

⚠️As always in my analyses, constant spoilers ahead!! 🖤

⚠️I’m going to talk about Inej’s trauma and her ptsd, and this post will also possibly include references to the other characters’ trauma and ptsd as well

Hi okay it’s been a while since we did this and I realise it’s probably the reason most of you follow me so sorry about that but let’s jump right in - I often say it’s after midnight and I’m thinking about Soc so let’s talk but today I actually have to say it’s almost midnight and I’m thinking about Six of Crows, so let’s talk: Inej’s internalised misunderstanding of the Kerch word for “girl”.

In the Bathroom Scene during Crooked Kingdom (which I have a full analysis posted of if anyone would like to read it; I can tag you or you can follow the link in my pinned post), we see Inej at the point she allows herself to be most vulnerable with another character. I think we forget this because we know much more about it than they do, but the other Crows know very little about what Inej went through at the Menagerie - Kaz himself in that very scene describes having “the barest inkling of what she’d endured there” - and previously when we’ve learnt anything about her experiences they have mostly been through flashbacks that Inej experienced during other events of the book. On the boat to Fjerda, in the surgeon’s cabin with Nina, Inej battles with flashbacks and insists Nina sing to her and teach her the chorus of the song to try and distract herself - Nina of course knows that something is going on, but only the reader is actually told what’s happening in Inej’s head - and when she has a flashback at Sweet Reef (the man who smelled of vanilla) she’s alone until Dunyasha arrives. This scene with Kaz is really the only time we see her express herself and, as openly as she can, attempt to speak about some extent of what she went through out loud. I’ve dissected a lot of what she says in this scene in the past and formed theories about it before, but I haven’t talked as much about this quote:

“Tante Heleen wasn’t always cruel”

After this introduction she goes on to explain the emotional abuse and manipulation that Heleen put her through, going so far as to specify that because endearment became something akin to danger she flinched the first time Nina hugged her, and she also mentions in the scene that sometimes when Jesper puts his arm around her she feels like she’s going to vanish. This particular description of Heleen has very strong parallels to descriptions of Van Eck’s abuse of Wylan, and though I don’t want to go into that in too much detail now bc I’ve talked about it before and how their parallels are what create a lot of the Wylan/Inej parallels I do think that it’s a relevant thing to mention as I bridge into the next quote I want to bring up; when Van Eck takes Inej captive and is claiming that he has treated her like this because this is what he know her to expect from her life experiences, she internally comments that he sounds like Heleen and we get a memory of this quote:

“Why do you make me do these things? You bring these punishments on yourself, girl”.

This obviously had very strong links to the way Van Eck abuses Wylan and teaches him to actively blame himself, which I’ve talked about in the last, but I also want to add that it’s so interesting when we see Heleen call Inej “girl” because she very rarely uses terms that don’t actively dehumanise her/any of the other children at the Menagerie. Of course the use of the epithet is still a big part of the way Inej was denied identity at the Menagerie, remember she audibly sobbed when Kaz said her real name out loud the night she left, but it doesn’t necessarily hold the same immediate, discomforting effect that other epithets Heleen uses, such as “little Lynx” (actively diminishing and dehumanising Inej whilst using an oxymoronic phrase to effectively imply that she is a tamed animal and even though she should be able to fight free she never will. As a side note linked to this, the word “little” is often used derogatorily towards Inej, most obviously by Heleen and Van Eck and most notably when she breaks his nose and he shouts “you little wretch! You little whore!” and she replies “go on Van Eck, tell me all the little things I am”). But I would actually argue that when Heleen uses the word “girl”, she intends it with all the same dehumanisation as she does “Lynx”.

Throughout Inej’s experiences in the duology, the word “girl” is used almost exclusively in two ways: 1) as an insult, 2) possessively. Whenever the children at the Menagerie are referred to as “girls” it is always in a possessive context, for example these quotes are the Ice Court Heist when Inej is wearing the Lynx silks:

“… in front of her girls”

“Your girl will be returned to you”

“Where is my girl?”

“That is not my girl”

And this is an ongoing theme throughout the books. However, the idea is most obviously presented in a quote by Inej herself, and this is where it quite truly breaks my heart:

“not really people, not even really girls.”

Okay I'm really tired and this post is already longer than I was planning so from this point forth everything in the quotation marks is directly taken from another post where I talked more briefly about this:

' As if “girls” and “people” are two separate entities. As if “girls” are not human. This is the language and the attitude that she was surrounded by at the Menagerie and is still surrounded by in the city, and what was forced upon her throughout her experiences in the country. But you know what else might be a genuinely horrifying little detail of this????? Inej may have actually taught herself that the words “people” and “girls” are not synonymous. Because when Inej was brought to Kerch she wasn’t fluent in the language, she spoke some of it and quickly learnt the rest through circumstance, so if this was the way she heard Kerch people use the word “girl” this is how she would internalise the definition of it. I hope this makes sense I’m not sure if I’m relating my thoughts very clearly, it’s kind of like how Matthias was forced to learn Kerch because he was in a Kerch prison so he doesn’t know words that would easily come to him in Fjerdan, like the snow goggles, but instead of simply having gaps Inej has actually learnt a false grammar system that defines “girl” as a dehumanising term because it means someone who is less than or someone who is property. '

I feel like I might have had something to add but if I did then I have forgotten it; if it return to me in the morning then I will return to add it but for now I am going to bid you all goodnight. Thank you for reading these mad ramblings and I hope they made some semblance of sense and/or were interesting <33

⚠️This is a theory and this is my personal literary interpretation; I am not saying that this is an intentional choice made by Leigh Bardugo, though it may be I have no idea, and I am not saying that you have to agree with me. Literary analysis is not about presenting one definitive answer, and if you have either differing interpretations or further points you’d like to add then please do as I would love to read them! <3

[mcntsee]

There was this boy…

Summary: Y/N shares a tale of her first love with the Crows.

Warnings: Not much other than ooc Kaz and alcohol consumption.

Note: I’m more of a angsty writing typa gal, so here’s some fluff for now. Let me know what you guys think.

In the dimly lit confines of the Crow Club, the Crows gathered around a secluded table, basking in the afterglow of a successful heist. Glasses clinked, and raucous laughter filled the air as the alcohol flowed freely. Kaz, Y/N, and Matthias sat with relative sobriety amidst the drunken revelry, observing their inebriated comrades.

Jesper, his cheeks flushed and eyes gleaming, leaned toward Y/N with a mischievous grin. "So, Y/N, have you ever been in love?" he slurred, barely able to contain his curiosity.

Y/N's lips curved into a knowing smile. "Of course, Jesper," she replied, her voice carrying a hint of mystery. The Crows leaned in, their drunken curiosity piqued.

"There was this boy," Y/N began, her eyes sparkling with memories. "I met him near the harbor when I was just a wide-eyed nine-year-old. He had this mischievous smile and eyes that seemed to hold a million secrets. A captivating presence that drew me in. He was the first person I ever truly loved."

Confusion clouded the faces of the Crows. They exchanged glances, unable to decipher who Y/N was referring to. Only Kaz, ever perceptive, held a hidden smile, understanding the truth behind Y/N's words.

“We were inseparable. We would spend our days exploring the harbor, sneaking into places we weren’t supposed to be. We had a sweet tooth that knew no bounds, and we’d devour candy like it was our secret treasure.” Y/n paused for a second to compose herself from the small chuckle that managed to escape her lips, “Whenever times got tough, we’d help each other steal food, laughing as we escaped the clutches of hunger.”

The Crows listened with rapt attention, their faces reflecting a mix of curiosity and sentimentality. The image of two children forging a bond over stolen treats warmed their hearts.

Y/N’s voice grew softer, her eyes distant. “We shared our hopes and dreams, our fears and vulnerabilities. It was as if we created our own little world, shielded from the hardships that surrounded us. He was my confidant, my partner in mischief, and my first taste of love.”

Nina, her words slightly slurred, leaned closer. "What happened to him, Y/N?" she asked, her voice tinged with genuine curiosity.

A tender smile played on Y/N's lips as she replied. "He changed. Life took him down a different path, one far from the innocence we once shared." she replied, her voice steady, "but my love for him didn't."

Y/N’s gaze drifted across the table, locking eyes with Kaz, the only one who knew the true identity of the boy from her story.

The Crows, their senses dulled by alcohol, cooed at the sweetness of Y/N's confession, their questions dissipating into laughter and sighs. Meanwhile, Matthias, ever vigilant, noticed the lingering glances between Y/N and Kaz throughout the evening. An inkling of suspicion gnawed at him, planting seeds of curiosity that would bloom in the days to come.

As the night wore on and drinks were consumed in abundance, the Crows bid each other goodnight and stumbled off to their respective rooms.

What they didn't know was that Y/N's steps veered away from her designated room, drawing her toward Kaz's quarters instead. The door closed behind them, and the atmosphere shifted from the revelry downstairs to a more intimate setting.

In the hushed whispers of their shared secret, Y/N and Kaz laughed and marveled at the obliviousness of their companions. They reveled in the fact that the Crows had no inkling that Y/N's tale of first love was a covert homage to their own hidden bond.

As silence settle, Kaz moved from his previous position near y/n. His gaze met Y/N’s, and a mischievous smile played on his lips.

“Care to join me for a moment?” Kaz asked, his voice holding a hint of intrigue.

Curiosity piqued, Y/N nodded, joining him near the record player. The room was enveloped in a nostalgic melody, its soulful notes casting a spell of tranquility.

As the music filled the room, Y/N couldn’t help but remark, “What a lovely choice. I didn’t know you were a fan of this genre.”

Kaz’s eyes sparkled with amusement. “There’s more to me than meets the eye, y/n,” he replied, his voice infused with a touch of playfulness.

They stood there, amidst the gentle hum of music, engaging in lighthearted banter and sharing whispered stories of their day. Their laughter mingled with the nostalgic tunes, creating an intimate symphony that resonated within their hearts.

A comfortable silence settled between them, a testament to the depth of their connection. In that moment, Kaz extended his hand with a gallant gesture, “Care to join me for a dance, Mrs. Brekker?”

Y/N’s eyes sparkled with delight as she placed her hand in his. “I’d be honored, Mr. Brekker,” she replied, her voice filled with a warm affection.

They swayed to the timeless melody, their steps graceful and in perfect sync. The world outside seemed to fade away as they reveled in the simple joy of being together, their laughter intertwining with the music.

In the embrace of their dance, Y/N and Kaz spoke volumes through their movements. Each twirl and sway conveyed a love that transcended words—a love that was hidden, yet tangible.

As the music played on, they allowed themselves to get lost in the moment, cherishing the intimacy they shared. Their smiles spoke of a shared secret, a commitment that only they held dear.

And as the final notes of the song faded away, they remained locked in a tender gaze, their hearts speaking a language known only to them. In that stolen moment, they were reminded of the strength and beauty of their hidden love.

Their laughter resonated in the quiet room, an acknowledgment of the unspoken bond they cherished. They knew that their story would forever remain known only to them, a treasure woven into the tapestry of their lives, while the Crows slumbered, oblivious to the truth that danced in the shadows of their own revelry.

[ask-kallem-and-co]

Nina! Your tentacles are very beautiful!

[mars-ipan]

ok. ok. first thing’s first. watch this video. read some of the comments too they have good insight. it is required reading.

also DISCLAIMER: i’m gaining a lot of my symbolism knowledge from websites that pop up in google results. if any cultural symbolism is inaccurate i apologize for not vetting sources closer.

ok we ready?? okay let’s go.

SO. we all know something’s up with maggie right? there’s something off about her, like she knows something or is stronger than she looks.

i’ve seen a few people going around suggesting she’s an angel. miracles seem to affect her less, nina calls her “angel,” etc. i don’t think this is true. neil’s talked about why some miracles don’t affect her and nina as much (essentially, aziraphale gets a little reliant on human suggestibility and maggie and nina are too suspicious of a+c to be as easily swayed)- i also think nina calling her “angel” is just a little parallel for us to enjoy.

i’ve also seen people suggest she may be affiliated with hell somehow. she mirrors crowley in her and nina’s relationship, and she misspells “urgency” as “ugrency” in her note to aziraphale. i don’t think this is true either. the misspelling could be a simple red herring (or, as i like to believe, just the result of being Very Stressed bc shit man i do that too), and i think her parallels to crowley are essentially just in relation to… well, relationships- she loves nina in a situation similar to how crowley loves aziraphale, and that’s all that parallel serves. it’s an important one, but says more about crowley than it does maggie. also she was the one to invite the demons in- crowley heavily implies demons can’t do that, and even if maggie isn’t a demon i doubt she’d be able to either if she were affiliated with hell.

i think. and hear me out here. i think in season 3 maggie is going to play an incredibly important role. as the second virgin mary.

a lot of the symbols on maggie’s clothing are related to divinity and fertility. like, a lot. once again, see the video i linked at the beginning. the designs on her teal cardigan, for example. the swallows- now, a lot of symbolism surrounding swallows suit maggie and her story, like being good-natured, the blossoming of love, and they’re also just a general good omen (ha). however, regarding christianity, swallows represent one very specific thing: resurrection and rebirth, particularly that of jesus christ.

there’s also the flowers, which someone in the comments of the video i linked said resembled cherry blossoms (which i absolutely see). the swallows are also holding cherries, so this feels like a logical identification. cherry blossoms represent a LOT of things (including change, which is in line with the swallows), but the most important thing they resemble (for right now) is rebirth, new chances, and the start of another life. huh. sounds familiar. the video mentions that red berries tend to represent the blood of christ- cherries in particular can represent a LOT of relevant things. in japan, they’re a good omen (ha^2) and symbolize new beginnings. in buddhist lore, they represent femininity and fertility, and there’s apparently a legend that the Buddha’s mother was supported by a holy cherry tree as she gave birth to him. hm. in chinese lore, cherry trees are associated with phoenixes. what are phoenixes symbolic of? oh, only death and rebirth. yaknow. normal stuff

all of that symbolism is in One piece of clothing. ONE. there’s also the all-seeing-eye on her locket- a symbol commonly used to represent god’s omnipotence. also also, maggie wears a lot of blue and gold. this reminds me of early depictions of jesus- while originally he was depicted as the good shepherd wearing humble clothes, when christianity was adopted by the soon-to-be-holy roman empire, art of jesus changed to depict him instead as an emperor of the lord- he wears flowing robes of rich gold, purple, and blue. as the virgin mary became a more important christian symbol as the mother of god, she was depicted in rich clothing as well- from what i remember in art history, she often wore blue and gold. that’s all i’ll talk about in terms of clothes for this post but i’m sure there’s more i could find and dig into.

in season 2, maggie is deeply important to the plot- she influences both aziraphale and crowley, but i think she has an especially strong connection with aziraphale. she’s a tenant of his bookshop, for one, but she also serves as aziraphale’s gabriel cover story and helps him learn about the strange goings-on at the resurrectionist in edinburgh. she also accidentally makes the final 15 extra heart-wrenching by encouraging crowley to be honest about his feelings. whoops!

okay, okay, so we know maggie’s symbolism ties her heavily to divinity and fertility, and we know she’s important in season 2. but still, why would this be particularly plot relevant to season 3? how would this actually happen?

it’s simple.

i’m gonna take you through a little train of thought. all aboard! follow along with me.

we know the next season will be surrounding the second coming- the metatron says so himself. the second coming, is, of course, the second coming of christ, which will inevitably start the rapture.

in the original story of jesus christ, the archangel gabriel is the one to tell mary that she will give birth to jesus christ, the son of god. this is the annunciation. except now, there is no archangel gabriel. he quit. and who took his place? why, it’s none other than our favorite angel, aziraphale. chances are, he’ll be doing the annunciating this time.

now, for plot reasons, i feel like the choice of who will be the next “virgin mary” will be up to aziraphale. seems better for writing to me, because even though i’m speculating like crazy i feel like being the one to make this choice will give us good insight on aziraphale’s character. how this choice falls into his hands could vary, of course- maybe he’s just directly ordered to, maybe he has to deliver a baby to someone in the way crowley did, maybe he kidnaps baby fucking jesus the second from heaven and needs someone to look after them so they can lay low, i dunno. point is, i think aziraphale will be giving the annunciation.

but who would aziraphale choose? well, he’s been on earth a while. we know he’ll be missing crowley dearly and wanting his help with preventing potential apocalypse 2, so he’ll probably limit his scope to the UK, maybe even just london or soho. i think we can agree that diagetically, God probably likes references and callbacks. look at how parallel-ridden the show is and tell me She doesn’t. the original virgin mary was a kindhearted, humble woman. she was in a relationship, but was not wed and under no circumstances would she have been pregnant except in the case of divine intervention. hey, you know who else is a kindhearted, humble woman in a relationship in which she definitely wouldn’t be getting pregnant? maggie is.

there’s also the fact that she’s near the bookshop, meaning muriel would be able to keep an eye on her and jesus jr. heaven would like that. it’d also mean crowley would be nearby, so he could look after oversee both him and baby jesus 2: electric boogaloo at the same time. aziraphale would like that. not to mention, maggie already knows aziraphale’s an angel and wouldn’t tell anyone, which would prevent his identity from being discovered and her sanity from being questioned. plus, the name “maggie” even sounds kind of similar to “mary”- that’d make heaven happy.

now, i don’t think aziraphale will be announcing to maggie that she’s gonna be pregnant- we saw in the job minisode that aziraphale knows a fair bit about human birth, and the last thing he wants to do is put someone through something so intense because God said it’d be fun. plus, i feel that a pregnancy arc would fuck up the pacing of the season and be a bit jarring for the audience (while there are of course exceptions, pregnancy can be a squicky topic for a lot of queer folk bc of cishetero/amatonormativity, and considering neil knows his audience so well, i don’t super see it happening.) also, if the antichrist wasn’t given birth to by a human in gomensverse, i doubt the second coming of christ would be.

so, chances are, aziraphale’s gonna hand a baby over to maggie, say “please look after this kid this is quite literally the reincarnation of God’s child and you’re the only person i can think of who She would find a satisfactory candidate also nina can help you wouldn’t that be nice haha heh um ^^;;;; okaytakecare,” report back to heaven, and then try to work up the courage to talk to crowley again so he can ask for help. which will be deliciously painfully uncomfortable for us to watch.

TL;DR: i think maggie’s the next virgin mary, and aziraphale will most likely be the one to annunciate this to her. this will be what kicks s3’s plot in motion and it is going to be. tense.

ok thank you for coming to my ted talk. if i’m right about this i am going to be insane about it forever 👍

ohhhh god guys i’m gomens theorycrafting

[middleearthpixie]

Something in the Night ~ Chapter Ten

Summary: Following the Battle of the Five Armies, a seriously wounded Thorin Oakenshield returns to Erebor to recuperate and eventually ascend the throne as king. With the deaths of Azog the Defiler and his son, Bolg, Thorin no longer has to worry about the bounty the Defiler placed on his head and can instead concentrate on restoring Erebor to its former glory. 

Nina Carren of Esgaroth has one goal—to make Thorin Oakenshield pay for unleashing Smaug the dragon unto her home—where he destroyed the town and killed her family. The Defiler might be gone, but his bounty remains very much in place, and she fully intends to collect on it. 

Finally, the opportunity shows itself for her to do just that, only to have it go horribly awry. Wounded and now at his mercy, neither Nina nor Thorin stopped to think what might happen, should things not go quite according to plan…

Pairings: Thorin Oakenshield x ofc Nina Carren

Warnings: None

Rating: T

Word Count: 5.3k

Tag List: @mrsdurin @i-did-not-mean-to @fizzyxcustard @lathalea @legolasbadass @xxbyimm @kibleedibleedoo @arrthurpendragon @exhausted-humxn-being @knittastically @notlostgnome @myselfandfantasy @medusas-hairband @guardianofrivendell @jotink78 @ruthoakenshield @frosticenow @quiall321 @dianakc @msjava1972 @glassgulls @evenstaredits @heilith @asgardianhobbit98 @way-too-addicted-to-fandoms @sazzlep

If you’d like to be added (or removed) to the tag list, please just let me know!

Previous chapters can be found here. 

Nina shared up at him with green eyes gone almost perfect round as she said, “I—I’m afraid I know not what you mean.”

“It took me a bit to figure it out,” he went on, “but you were there. That night my Company and I attempted to break into the armory and were caught. You were in the crowd, near the front, not far from where Bilbo stood.”

“No, I—I’ve never been to Esgaroth and I’m afraid I’ve no inkling as to who Bilbo even is.”

“Of course you don’t, for he was with me. But, I remember you, Miss Nina. You and another woman who bore a strong resemblance to you. You stood out, both of you, because of your hair.” 

As he spoke, he reached out to catch one of Nina’s wild corkscrew curl between his fingers. He couldn’t help it. He’d never seen hair that deep, almost burgundy color before and since she first joined them, he tried to remember where he’d seen it before. It wasn't until he came into her chambers and saw it loose about her face that the memory of a beautiful red-haired woman in the snow leaped to the forefront of his mind, for that was just how she looked that night. Her hair a wild tangle about her face, about her shoulders, with snowflakes dotting it like seed pearls. 

She shook her head. “You must have me confused with someone else.”

“No.” He let the curl slip through his fingers. It was soft, almost silken, and he had the maddest urge to gather it in his hands. “It was you.”

“Your Highness, I—”

“I know it was you, Nina. Tell me, what became of the woman who was with you? Who was she and what she to you?”

“She was my sister. She…” Nina’s eyes shone with tears as she met his gaze and his heart sank as she finished with a whispered, “she died in the inferno. I found her on the opposite shore the next morning and please do not make me tell you more about it.”

“I am so sorry,” he murmured back. “I did not mean for the dragon to take his anger out on your people. That was never my intention. It was the last thing I would have wanted.”

She pressed her lips together as her eyes overflowed, tears streaking over the curve of her cheeks. Without thinking, he brushed his thumbs along her cheeks, sweeping the tears from them. “Forgive me,” he whispered, cupping her face in his palms, tilting it toward his. “I know that means nothing, that my words are worthless, but I am so very sorry my actions led to the death of people you loved.”

Her lips trembled and she leaned into him, her head coming to rest against his chest as she dissolved into tears. He wrapped his arms about her, tucked her close against him and let her cry, his rough-hewn henley growing damp against his chest. 

Finally, she went still against him and when she lifted her head, her eyes were red and puffy. “I beg your pardon,” she whispered, swiping at her nose with the back of her hand. “I didn't mean to blubber all over a king.”

“Worry not about it,” he told her. “It is the least I deserve.”

“I just…” She drew in a deep, if somewhat shaky breath, and then offered up a sad smile. “It’s been a while since I allowed myself to think of Lenna. She was my dearest friend in the world and I miss her. So very much.”

“If I could go back and do that night over,” he told her, sweeping his thumbs along the remnants of tears still streaking her skin, “I would do things so very differently. And in the aftermath, I’d have honored my word without question.”

This time, when he met her gaze, he felt the oddest thing. It was almost as if the air were suddenly charged, as it felt before a lightning storm. But he heard no rumble of thunder and as the leaves shifted above their heads, it was to show a clear night, the black sky spangled with thousands of stars glinting like gemstones against a bed of black velvet. 

Her eyes were bright, brilliant emerald beneath their silvery veil of tears, but they drew him in just the same, and in a way he’d never felt before. That crackle in the air grew stronger and then he realized what it was.

He wanted to kiss her. 

He remembered seeing her that night in Esgaroth. Her hair caught his eye, that deep, glossy burgundy color and wild about her face, as it was now. He could not hear her, but he saw her look at the woman beside her, her sister Lenna as he now knew, and when she smiled, he’d swear he actually felt his blood grow warmer. That smile, so pure and raw in its joy, did something to him and he made a promise to himself that he would find out who she was and when he rid the world of Smaug and returned to honor his word, he would make certain someone introduced him to her.

Of course, that wasn't how things worked out. 

But now he had a second chance and he would not make the same mistake. 

His thumbs went still against her soft skin. Her lips, full and no longer trembling, were more inviting than any he’d ever seen before. And when the tip of her tongue flicked out against her bottom lip, he almost sighed with the sensuality of it. 

She held his gaze easily, and as he leaned toward her, she lifted those full, inviting lips in anticipation of their first kiss.

“Thorin, are ye in there?”

Dwalin’s voice broke them apart, had him leaping backward as if touching her stung him. Gathering his wits about him, Thorin cleared his throat. “We are, yes. Come in.”

The door swung open and Dwalin said, “I thought we were going to supper?”

“We are.” Thorin glanced over at Nina. “I just came to fetch Miss Nina.”

Dwalin arched a single brow. “Is everything all right?”

“Everything is fine,” Thorin told him as he caught Nina by the elbow before she had the chance to refuse to join them. “Shall we?”

Fortunately, she did not speak up about not wanting anything to eat, and with any luck, no one would notice the hint of color along her sharply angled cheekbones, or that he’d probably not be able to stop staring at her. 

All through supper, Nina felt Thorin’s gaze on her. Actually felt it. Although she’d heard people say this, she’d never experienced it for herself until now. 

And if that wasn't enough, her doubts about her plan had grown tenfold since he stepped out onto her terrace.

He was going to kiss her. And what was worse?

She was going to let him.

What was wrong with her? How could she capitulate so easily? 

Because he apologized. 

And he meant it. She saw the agony he carried in his eyes, heard it in the softness of his deep, almost growly voice, felt it when he’d wrapped her in his arms. He wanted to take her pain from her and for a moment, his embrace had done just that. 

She had heard of dragon sickness, as whenever talk of the Lonely Mountain circulated through town, accompanying it was the speculation that the King Under the Mountain had succumbed to it for a time. No one ever came out from it though. Or at least, that was what everyone said.

Yet, he had.

He sat beside her at the long table they shared with Thranduíl and his son Legolas. From the corner of her eye, she saw him lean toward Thranduíl, who sat, of course, at the head, as they chatted. Dwalin across from them, alongside Legolas and while he on joined in Thorin’s conversation with the elf king from time to time, he mostly spoke with the younger elf.

Nina, who knew none of them, remained quiet, concentrating on the delicious supper of venison and root vegetables in a spicy sauce. It was the most food she’d seen in her life, even more than had been presented at Rivendell. 

She was in a quandary now. For so long, she’d thought of nothing but revenge on Thorin Oakenshield. She’d planned her life around it. She'd longed for the day when she took him out of the world and got paid a pretty penny to do so.

This was a twist she had not seen coming, and it left her at a loss.

The Thorin she had imagined was far different from the one she was coming to know. That Thorin was a monster in dwarf form. 

This Thorin was anything but.

Conversation floated around her, yet their hosts paid her no mind. They didn't know her, of course, where they’d had dealings with the dwarves before and of course, Thorin and Thranduíl shared the bond of kingship, although their relationship seemed formal at best. 

“So, how did you come to be in the company of dwarves?”

This came from across the table, from an elegant she-elf with red hair several shades brighter than Nina’s own. Tauriel, she thought her name was. She seemed to know Thorin and Dwalin already, judging by the warm greeting they’d each given the other when they first arrived in the open air dining room.

“Me? I simply happened to be in the right place at the right time.”

“She leapt between me and an arrow,” Thorin broke in, setting his fork down to lift his napkin to his lips. 

“Leapt between you and an arrow?” Tauriel’s dark eyes widened. “Where did this happen?”

“On the road to Rivendell,” Thorin explained. “An orc pack happened upon us.”

“An orc pack so close to Rivendell?” Thranduíl asked, his forehead furrowing slightly. “They do not normally come so close to either there or here.”

“Elrond said they’d been having a bit of trouble lately,” Dwalin explained, reaching for his tankard. “In their disarray, they have come bold.”

“They are no longer in such disarray.” Tauriel shook her head, bringing her napkin to her lips before adding, “The rumor is they are under new leadership.”

“Is that so?” Thorin asked. “Who?”

“I only know his name is Tarog and he is somehow related to Azog, but I know not how.”

Dwalin let out a heavy sigh. “Wonderful. One more thing for us to worry about.” 

His gaze alit on Nina and she hoped no one at the table saw her stiffen. When she met his stare, it was to see his eyes were those cold slivers of ice once more. Forcing what she hoped was a reassuring smile to her lips, she said, “You needn’t worry at all. Extra eyes and an extra blade, remember.”

“Aye, I remember,” Dwalin replied evenly. 

“We will be fine,” Thorin said, reaching for his tankard. He lifted it for a long drink, then set it back and wiped his mouth before pushing away from the table. “Now, if you will all excuse me, I am going to go and get some much needed sleep. I bid you all good evening and will see you in the morning.”

Dwalin also rose. “I think that sounds like a good idea.” He looked over at her. “What about you, Miss Nina?”

Her impulse was to say no, that she wasn't tired, but she had the feeling that would arouse suspicion, so she forced a smile and got to her feet. “Yes, that sounds like a good idea. Good evening, Your Majesty,” she directed this at Thranduíl, then bid the others a good evening as well.

Dwalin fell into step with her as they left the dining room. “Why was Thorin in your chambers earlier?”

“You would have to ask him what prompted it,” she told him with a shrug. “For I haven’t a clue.”

“It’s a bit concerning, about this Tarog, don’t you think?”

“I wouldn’t know one orc from another,” she replied as offhandedly as she could manage. “Just as I don't know who Azog is or was. My dealings with orcs are only when they cross paths with me. I do not go in search of them.”

“Still, it’s odd, that they grow bolder, supposedly have a new leader, and yet, you just happened to be where they were as well.”

She stopped then. “What is it you accuse me of, Dwalin? Of being in league with this Tarog, whoever he might be?”

“I am saying it is a strange coincidence, is all.”

She glanced at Thorin, far enough ahead of them that he apparently didn't notice the whispered confrontation going on behind him, then turned her attention back to Dwalin. “Tell me, do you think it odd that I am supposed to be in league with that filth, and yet you saw me cut down as many as I could?”

“I saw nothing of the sort, lass. I saw you just happen to be between Thorin and an orc arrow.”

She rolled her eyes as if he’d obviously lost his mind. “And yet, he lives still and there is no sign of any orc pack here, is there? You should stop being so blasted suspicious, you know this? I’m growing tired of being accused of playing you false when you have no reason to accuse me at all. Now, if you don't mind, I’ll bid you a good evening.”

She shoved by him and marched to her chambers, and much as she wanted to slam the door, she didn’t. Instead, she just closed it by, dropped the latch in place to lock it, and moved to the terrace once more. 

The air was cold now, despite the fact that the earlier breeze had died. She sat on the wide railing, staring out into the dark forest, trying to calm her mind enough so that she might try to get some sleep. 

Her plan was in shambles now. She could still feel Thorin’s massive hands against her cheeks, could feel how gentle his touch was as he swept the tears from her skin. She had the feeling his kiss would have been just as gentle. Gentle, but tinged with hints of fire. And had Dwalin not interrupted…

Dwalin. 

He could prove to be a problem, though. He knew she wasn't as she presented herself, he just didn’t know how right he was to be concerned. At least, up until that night, anyway. Now, as she turned her gaze to her sword, still propped against the wall just inside the door, she had the feeling she would not be able to raise it against Thorin. 

But he could never know the truth of why she was there, of how she came to be in his company, and why she offered her services to him. 

With a low sigh, she let her head fall into her hands. How did it become so complicated? She had always thought that no matter how many times Thorin might apologize for that night, she would never forgive him. Her hatred of him and the anguish caused by what he had taken from her was simply too great. 

So, why did she only want him to kiss her so badly?

She was tired, that was all. Tired and worn out and it had been a long time since anyone held her. Come morning, after a good night’s rest, her resolve would renew and things wouldn’t be quite as complicated as they seemed right then and there.

At least, she hoped they would’t. 

It was amazing what a decent night’s sleep in a comfortable bed could do for a body. Her mind might still be a jumble of tangled thoughts, but as she lay there, atop a soft mattress, tucked between smooth, fresh linens, Nina could forget, if only for a moment, everything else.

A hint of jasmine hung in the air, wafted through on the light breeze that wound its way into her chambers. In the distance, birds chirped and the sunlight that filtered through the canopy of leaves was almost pure gold in its radiance. 

She stared up at the woven vines and limbs that made up the vaulted ceiling in her chambers and she smiled as several birds flittered through to nestle in those branches. For a moment, she didn't care if she ever left Mirkwood. For a moment, everything was perfect.

She stretched, then snuggled back into the pillows, which were as soft as the linens. Thorin had made no mention of when he planned to depart, and she rather hoped they’d stay a few days to regain a bit of their energy. 

That hope was dashed a moment later when there came a firm rap at the door. “Miss Nina?”

Thorin’s low voice sent a shiver through her, one that was equal parts delicious and disturbing. “I’ll be there in a moment.”

She sat up and tossed back the quilts, then got to her feet to pad over to the door. As she tugged it open, her heart skipped a beat at the sight of him on the opposite side of the threshold, looking just as refreshed as she felt. “Did I wake you?” he asked.

“No. I was just being lazy.”

His eyes widened as they moved over her and she almost smiled. Her night rail was thin, but not immodest, although the pale blue ribbon holding the neck closed had loosened while she slept. Although the cotton parted, it did not show much more than just the beginning of her décolletage. Still, it was somewhat amusing, watching those pale blue eyes, fringed with such thick black lashes, widen, and seeing the hint of color that swept along his cheeks, above the dark hair of his beard. 

When the silence stretched between them, this time she did smile. “Thorin?”

He started, then offered up a sheepish smile. “I beg your pardon, of course.” He cleared his throat. “I came to see if you were planning to come to breakfast.”

Her stomach rumbled on its own, and she smiled. “I don't suppose you would believe me if I tried to say no, would you?”

“Not likely, no.”

“Then, give me a moment to dress and I’ll be out.”

“I’ll wait outside.”

He didn't wait for her reply, but bobbed his head and left her to dress in peace. 

It only took her a few minutes, since her meager wardrobe was little more than two changes of trousers and tops. Perhaps, if they would be there a few more days, she could sneak off to one of the streams and wash at least one change of clothes. The trousers had become conspicuously baggy. 

So she dressed in the not-so-baggy (although a bit dirt-spattered) trousers and the cleaner of the two shirts, then swept her hair back into a loose knot and secured it as best she could, which took some doing, as she only had a tiny handful of pins. 

Thorin waited for her, as he said, just beyond her door and she smiled. “You did not actually have to wait. I could find the dining hall.”

“I know but I dislike walking into a room alone. Especially here.”

“Why?”

They strolled along the walkway and he glanced down at her. “They stare.”

“Oh, no. Not that,” she drawled, nudging him with her shoulder. “How dare they.”

“I know, it sounds silly, but… My relationship with the woodland elves is rocky at best. Thranduíl and I are civil to one another, but there is no great love between dwarves and elves.”

“Why?”

“It’s a long and rather dull story, and one I’d rather not rehash, if it’s all the same.”

“I understand.” She stepped off to the edge of the walkway. “It’s so pretty here in spring, when everything begins to bloom. I’ve never been here before, and I had no idea what to expect.”

“The last time I was here was in autumn.” He joined her, resting both hands on the woven wood. “And it was anything but pretty. The air even seemed different. Dark and heavy.”

“I hear this place is enchanted.”

From the corner of her eye, she saw him nod. “It is, indeed. In some places, the enchantments are harmless, but in others? Dark magic is woven through them, so one has to take care.”

“Dark magic? Here?” She turned to him, her hip bumping against the rail. “Where?”

“One of the streams is said to be heavy with it, but I don't know which one. It’s best to assume they all are and avoid them. I know one is imbued with some sort of sleep magic. It knocked Bombur out cold.”

“You say that name as if I am to know who or what a Bombur is.”

That earned her a smile. “He is one of my people. We passed through here on our trek to Erebor.”

“And found out the hard way to avoid at least one stream. Why not just ask Thranduíl which ones to avoid?”

“At the time, he and I were not on speaking terms.”

“And yet he let you pass through his realm?”

To her surprise, a hint of color rose along his cheekbones. He shook his head, a sheepish smile coming to his lips. “Not exactly. We tried to get through unnoticed, but were attacked by spiders.”

A shiver rippled through her. “Spiders?”

“The size of houses, yes. The elves came to our aid, although I highly doubt that was intentional.” He linked his fingers, leaning on his forearms as he turned his gaze to the woods around them. “So, in the end we were not so much guests as we were prisoners.”

“Prisoners? One king to another?”

A dry laugh bubbled to his lips, one that was deep and low and although it contained no humor, it was hardly an unpleasant sound. And for the first time since they’d left Rivendell, he wasn’t dressed for the elements, but instead looked far more relaxed in trousers and a simple black rough-hewn henley. He’d pushed the sleeves up, stretching them about his thick forearms, and she had the strangest urge to trace along the muscle that ropes those forearms, to trace along the leather bracelet woven about his left wrist. 

“I was a king in name only, remember. My kingdom belonged to a firedrake from the north named Smaug. So, no, it was not one king to another. We would probably still be in the dungeons, had Master Baggins not thought to swipe the keys or had he not come up with the idea of using wine barrels to escape.”

“Wine barrels?”

“It was quite the sight, I’m sure. All of us crammed into those barrels, bouncing down the rapids, at the will of the currents.” His smile faded. “Orcs found us here and Kíli was wounded in battle against them.”

“Kíli?”

“My nephew. My younger nephew, to be exact. He was struck by a morgul shaft.” 

“What? Did it kill him?”

“It might have, had it not been for one of Mirkwood’s captains, Tauriel. She recognized the symptoms and knew what to do.”

“He was lucky she was there.”

“Indeed.” 

She shifted, leaning on one elbow as she smiled up at him. “I cannot picture you riding in a barrel, though. Especially downriver.”

“Had I not been there, I’d agree with you. But that was how we escaped imprisonment. We paid Bard to smuggle us into Esgaroth and then—” He cut himself off abruptly, turning back toward the woods. “Well, you know the rest.”

“I do,” she moved closer to him, “but you can speak of it, if you wish. I always wondered how you managed to get into Esgaroth without the Master knowing.”

“The same barrels. Only Bard hid us beneath pounds upon pounds of fish.”

“Ew.” Her nose wrinkled at the image. “That must have smelled awful.”

“Awful is not the word for it. But, we survived.” He went quiet again, just staring off into the woods. 

“Thorin?”

“What?”

“Were you lying at the time? When you promised to share the wealth of Erebor with us?”

He didn't say anything for a long time, but looked from the woods, to her, and back again as the silence stretched between them. Then, he drew in a deep breath, and exhaled in a long, slow sigh. “Yes.”

She thought as much but it still stung to hear him admit it. Before she could say anything, though, he went on. “I would have promised anything if it meant convincing the Master to aid us. My quest meant that much to me, to my people.”

He turned to her then, his eyes serious and dark, “But know this, it was never my intention to bring harm to anyone in Esgaroth. We tried to kill the beast ourselves. Tried to drown him in the gold he so coveted. But we failed and for that, I can never be sorry enough.”

She straightened up. “We should go to breakfast.”

“Nina,” he caught her by the arm as she pushed away from the railing, “you must know I mean every word.”

“I do, Thorin.” She looked up at him and nodded. 

“Good. And I hope one day you’ll be able to forgive me as well.”

“I’m not angry with you. I’ve made my peace with what happened that night and I’ve gone on. You should as well.” Without thinking, she reached up to lay her hand against his solid shoulder. “But, you should also be careful. There is still a bounty out on you, you know. It did not die with Azog.”

His eyes widened, then sharply narrowed. “How did you know about that?”

“I overhead two men discussing it at a tavern in Bree. Why do you think I offered my assistance to you?” She glanced down at the huge hand still on her arm, and then met his gaze once more. “I don't know why he hunted you, but someone will look to collect on it. From what I understand, he offered a substantial amount so…”

“So… you were there… in the clearing… intentionally?”

She nodded, although her heart sped up as she waited for him to ask which side she was on, protecting him or collecting on the price on his head. “I was. I tracked you from Dunning. I tend to blend with my surroundings when I wish to, and no one pays what they think is a boy any mind, so I could slip through crowds and the like with ease.”

But apparently the thought never crossed his mind, for all he said was, “You followed me?”

“I followed you. I thought about approaching you at the Grey Bear, but then had a bit of a to-do with the owner and by the time I freed myself from it, you were gone.”

“A to-do?”

She nodded. It almost frightened her, how easily the lies rolled from her tongue. At one point, she’d have burned with shame for lying on so grand a scale, but at the same time, she couldn’t very well tell him to truth, either. “He thought I was skipping out on my tab. I just wanted to catch up to you and offer my service and he didn't want to hear that, so…”

He smiled. “You are full of surprises, do you know that?”

“I have my moments, I suppose.”

A soft laugh bubbled to his lips, his eyes going from sapphire to cobalt once more. “I imagine you do, Nina.”

He said it softly, the air between them crackling with a mysterious electricity. The fingers on her arm tightened. He pulled her closer. He bent to her.

His lips were warm and soft as they captured hers, the coarse hair of his beard tickling against her skin. He released her arm to slip his about her waist, to the small of her back, and tightened to pull her flush against him. His body was every bit as solid as it appeared, heat rising from him to sink into her as his mouth moved slowly against hers. 

One hand slid up, along her back, into her hair, where he dislodged several pins. Her eyes closed as he bent her back, his lips parting, the tip of his tongue brushed her lips and the sensation had her snapping open her eyes, and she abruptly pulled away from him.

Guilt twisted her insides at the confusion in his eyes. “Have I overstepped?” He let out a mirthless chuckle. “No, forget I asked that. Of course I’ve overstepped. And for that, I truly apologize.”

“Please don’t,” she told him, catching his hands in hers. “You didn’t overstep. But—”

She stopped, pressing her lips together. She’d been about to tell him the true reason why she was there, why she was in that clearing, but the words died on her lips. He would be furious and she would not fault him in the least. 

And truly, the only thing she wanted was to fall into his arms, to lose herself in his kiss, to fall into his arms and lose herself in him. Forever, if that was even possible.

If only it was.

“But what?”

She drew in a deep breath. “But… it would be a mistake for either of us to let anything happen, for either of us to even think anything could happen. A terrible mistake.”

She braced herself for his anger, just as she had for any of the boys of Esgaroth who thought to try to steal a kiss from her, only to find her shoving them away from her. More often than not, the boy in question blamed her for not allowing him to take liberties, although she made herself perfectly clear what would happen if any did.

But there was no anger, just a sense of resignation about him as he slowly exhaled and nodded. “As you wish.”

“We should just go and get breakfast and pretend this never happened.”

“Again, as you wish.”

A heaviness settled about her. “On second thought, I’m not very hungry. Do go on though, and eat.”

“Nina—”

“Please. Just—just go.”

Darkness slid through his eyes. “Very well. Remember what I said about this place. Do not do anything foolish.”

“I will. You needn’t worry.”

“I won’t.”

“Good.”

“Good.” 

With that, he turned and without another word, resumed his stride toward the dining hall. She stood there, rooted to her spot, and just watched him until he rounded a bend and she could no longer see him. Then, she turned back to the rail, bending to rest her forearms on it, just as he had only minutes earlier, and let her eyes close as her shoulders slumped.

How had this happened? It was all so simple. Find Thorin Oakenshield, end his life, collect the bounty from Tarog. That was it. That was all she had to do.

Curse it all, why had it gotten so blasted complicated?

Because he was not the monster she’d built him up to be in her mind. He was no more that monster than she was. He was actually the opposite—a fair-minded, competent leader who put his people before himself. He’d learned from his grievous mistake and was trying to do right.

He no longer deserved her anger, for he truly regretted what he’d done. She saw that for herself. Heard it for herself in his voice and his words. 

So now what? 

Tears stung her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. Crying would solve nothing. It was a waste of time and energy and she had other things with which with to concern herself and a tryst with Thorin Oakenshield was not one of them. 

There was still plenty of ground between Mirkwood and the Long Lake. She would do what she set out to do and be done with it. Then she would collect her money, find somewhere she hadn’t been before, and begin anew there. 

But, even as she made her decision, she had the feeling she was about to make the worst mistake of her life. 

[thepotatowithahat]

Dancing Like Real People Do - A Kanej Fanfic

SUMMARY: Inej and Kaz open up to each other and slow dance together after Kaz recognizes a song that his parents used to dance to. For once, everything is perfect.

TAGS: Fluff, First Kiss, Slow Dancing, No Smut, Hurt/Comfort, Happy Ending, Mutual Pining, Declarations of Love

It was a joyful night in Ketterdam.

The gloomy streets were engulfed in the soft glow of lantern light, while the Dregs danced and sang in carefree harmony. Night had emerged, and somehow a celebration erupted from the streets below. One by one, people joined to witness this rare inkling of beauty in a city of grime. Inej was seated on a table perched outside of the Crow Club, where people were dancing and singing wildly to whatever songs their throats could scream raw. It had been a while since she had last visited Ketterdam, but she had thought that it would be nice to take a break and visit once again. It was strange. Most people would have scoffed at the idea of relaxing in the grimy streets of Ketterdam. But despite its filth and dirt, it was still her home. On nights like these, she was reminded of the beauty this city held. All she had to do was look close enough, and it would reveal itself.

She placed her chin in her hand and breathed in the sweet scent of freshly made waffles and petrichor. A light breeze blew through her hair and she relished in its gentle caress. She was thankful that she decided to stop by at the perfect time. People were singing a Kerch drinking song whilst someone clumsily strummed a guitar. Inej watched with a smile as Jesper clumsily took Wylan’s hand and laughed as he pulled him in for a dance. They held each other’s hands as they clumsily spun around, laughing wildly into the night.

Wylan’s smile was as bright as the morning sun. “What are you doing?”. He laughed gleefully.

“Just showing my spectacular dance moves merchling” chuckled Jesper.

Wylan giggled. “We’re going to fall if you spin any faster!”

Jesper laughed. ”Well then, don’t let go!”

The two stopped spinning after a while, and Jesper pulled Wylan in for the clumsiest waltz Inej had ever seen. His hands were in Wylan’s curls, and Wylan held tight to Jesper as they frantically waltzed across the room, skimming past the rest of the drunken members. She failed to suppress a giggle.

“They’re adorable, aren’t they?”

Inej looked up and there stood Nina, holding a plate with a thick stack of waffles topped with dollops of cream and red berries. She wore a crimson sleeveless dress with flecks of gold embroidery sewed into the fabric. Her hair was shorter now, but she was still the same Nina that Inej knew so well.

Inej smiled. “Saints, I haven’t seen you in ages Nina”

Nina’s face split into a grin. “Glad you could stop by, Inej. Everyone’s been wanting to see you for so long. Especially…” Nina grinned and pointed towards Kaz. “a special someone”

Inej glanced across the room to see Kaz cooped up in a corner, far away from any of the cheery gang members. His shiny hair was slicked back, tiny strands carefully falling into place as leaned back into his chair. His coffee brown eyes glowed in the bright light, and Inej couldn’t help but wonder how a face could be so perfect. Kaz caught Inej’s eyes, and she gently waved at him. He glanced around and then waved back to Inej with a shy smile on his face.

“He’s been grumpier than usual ever since you left,” chuckled Nina. “Who knew Kaz Brekker was such a hopeless romantic?”

Inej laughed “Don’t worry, he’s a little ball of sunshine on holidays”

Nina scoffed. “If the sun was a gloomy ball of darkness, then sure… He’s such “a little ball of sunshine”. Nina made sure to form quotation marks.

Nina took a big bite out of her waffle. “But really, Inej… What do you see in him? I love you and all, but your taste in men… That’s still a mystery to me”

Inej thought of the way Kaz picked locks, his hands carefully working, or the way he always saved her when she was in danger, whether he was with her or not. How his smile reminded her of a shooting star. Rare, but beautiful whenever she caught sight of it. If she could have frozen his smile in time and watched it over and over again, she would have. It terrified her years ago, but now she found comfort from relishing in the warmth of the feeling he gave her.

Inej turned to Nina and smirked. “It wouldn’t be any fun if I told you. Let it be a mystery”

“Saints, why do you two love to be so mysterious?” sighed Nina.

“I guess we’re more alike than you think” chuckled Inej.

Nina smiled and looked around. “So many love birds are out tonight. Makes me feel like I’m missing out.” She chuckled.

Inej looked at Nina and thought about that fateful day all those years ago. How Nina had spent months trying to form a smile on her face, though Inej knew her better than that. She thought of the pained expression Nina made anytime she heard somebody speak Fjerdan, or when she stared at her waffles for too long, and Inej just knew who she was thinking of. It had been years since then, but the memory still lingered in the Crows’ hearts every day. It was a shadow looming over them as a constant reminder.

They were not immortal. One day, every person turned into a memory. Inej looked at the people she loved so dearly, so full of life and joy that it nearly made her heart burst. Nina was much different after that day, but through the years, she had grown stronger. She had been able to smile fully, been able to eat waffles without a care in the world, and had still been the friend Inej cared about dearly.

Inej thought of how Nina must have felt that day. To fight so hard for a happy ending, only to have it snatched away so ruthlessly. It was a cruel joke life had played on her. On all of them. What would she have done if she were Nina? What if one day Kaz was in danger and she couldn’t come save him?

What if Kaz…

She didn’t want to think about it.

“Have you found someone yet, Nina?”. The question came out of nowhere before Inej could stop it. Nina looked at Inej, a surprised expression painted on her face.

Inej scratched her head. “I... I’m sorry it sort of just came out—”

“No no, it’s fine!”. Nina glanced at Inej. “I… I haven’t gotten into any relationship but…”. Nina leaned in to whisper into Inej’s ear. “There… There is someone I like”.

Inej smiled warmly at Nina. “That’s wonderful Nina… I’m happy for you, I really am. How are they?”

“They…”. Nina chuckled and gazed at her waffles, smiling warmly. “They’re wonderful Inej. They’re smart, funny, kind and I… I think I really like them”

Nina had finally found peace after all these years, and Inej couldn’t help but feel everything was just right. Her closest comrades and friends were all in one place, so full of joy that it made her want to bask in the feeling forever.

“Hey, why is there a piano outside?” said someone drunkenly.

“Somebody play it!” said a person on the verge of throwing up.

Jesper slowly turned towards Wylan with a wide grin across his face. “Oh, I wonder who could possibly play us a song?”. Jesper playfully placed an arm around Wylan’s shoulder.

“Say, Wylan, would you know anyone?”

Wylan glanced up at Jesper and laughed nervously. “Do you… Do you really think I could do it? I mean, I’m not the most skilled and-”

“Believe in yourself sunshine”

There was a severe judgement in Wylan’s eyes. “Sunshine?”

“What? It’s cute”. Jesper leaned in closer. “Just like you are”

Wylan’s face flushed a bright pink. “Ok ok, I’ll do it,”, Wylan sighed. “You’re lucky you have such a nice face”

Jesper grinned and ruffled Wylan’s hair. “That’s the spirit”

Inej watched as Wylan nervously walked to the piano. Rows of eyes watched him curiously. He sat on the stool and ran his fingers over the keys, playing a few notes to test the sound. He glanced towards Inej with a worried expression plastered on his face. Inej gave him her most reassuring smile.

It’s okay. Play us a symphony.

Wylan smiled back in gratitude and took a breath in. Then he started to play.

The atmosphere in the room shifted as soon as the first notes rang out in the air. The calming waves of the music replaced the wild energy in the room. Inej watched as people leaned into their chairs and took in the sounds of the beautiful melody. Inej didn’t realise the song, but she remembered how she often heard it hummed by children in the streets of Ketterdam.

It must have been a lullaby.

Many of the Dregs were faintly humming the song and closing their eyes, almost like they were reminiscing about old memories. Jesper looked at Wylan, as if they were the only two in the room. It was as if nothing around him at that moment mattered except him.

Did Kaz ever look at her like that?

Nina laid her head on the table. “I’m feeling incredibly stupid for not bringing them right now…”. Nina sighed and glanced towards Jesper and Wylan. “They really are adorable” Inej nodded. She glanced around the room, looking for Kaz, yet she couldn’t find him.

“Nina, where is Kaz?” asked Inej.

“Hm?”

Nina raised her head from the table and scanned her surroundings thoroughly. “Saints, where is he off to now? Sorry Inej, it’s yet again, another mystery to me”.

“That’s strange, he was here a moment ago”. Inej inspected the crowd until she heard a familiar cane clicking in the distance. She spotted Kaz limping away past the crowd as if he were nothing but a shadow passing by.

Why was he leaving so soon?

Inej pointed towards Kaz. “There he is”.

Nina squinted and sighed. “You have a good eye. Where is he off to now? The party isn’t even done yet, and he just disappeared into thin air.” Nina turned to Inej. “I thought that was your thing?”

“I suppose he learned a few new tricks while I was away”. Inej wondered why Kaz had been so quick to leave when he seemed content a few moments ago. She imagined him cooped up in his tiny room, looking out from the window, watching his comrades laugh in perfect harmony while he was just out of reach, yet never able to draw any closer.

It was a perfect night for her. She wasn’t going to let Kaz feel like it was a lonely one. He always had her back, and she had his.

Always.

“Nina, I’m going to go”. Inej put down the cup she’d been drinking from and abruptly stood up.

Nina tilted her head. “Already?”

Inej sighed. “Yes… I have some… business to attend to”

A wide smirk appeared on Nina’s face. “Oh… I see…”. She looked from Inej to Kaz. “Well… have fun attending to your business”. Nina winked.

Inej rolled her eyes. “I’ll see you tomorrow at the Waffle House. Waffles are on me”

Nina’s face was brighter than a thousand candles. “Captain Inej Ghafa, what a Saint you are!”

Inej chuckled as she softly threaded through the hordes of lethargic people, carefully avoiding the drunk members slouched on the floor. Once she was done, she walked quietly on the rough pavement while she trailed Kaz, who slowly limped towards his room...

Click here to read the rest of the story!

[boxwinebaddie]

miss ninaaa why did u delete the kyley b origin story jewelery ask, i was IN LOVE with ittt

Anonymous asked:

wha happened to the kyley b post i miss iy already nina :(

AAAAAAAAH. :'( </3

so when i went to bed last night, i saw this first anon and already felt bad, but now that this second one has come in, i just want to say...

...that i am so, SO sorry, my loves.

and to quote every bad movie breakup scene ever:

it's not you, it's me.

( and specifically my very fucked up brain. )

HERE is the link to the kyley b (jew)elery origin post.

i plucked it out of the lost and pound just for you.

i'm...sorry, i deleted it.

**and heavily edited it; it was bugging me.

the short version of my answer is that i developed a very poor coping mechanism for stress/perceived inferiority where even though i love my ncu content, i convince myself that it's bad and i hate it, to the point where i 'make it disappear' so that it's no longer an eyesore.

the very long, personal mental health uncle nina psychological eval with a lowk frightening beginning and hopeful ( i think? ) end is below. tw for depressing thoughts and mentally-ill framing.

I Hope You Heal. <3

because, unfortunately, as a bipolar two girlie, i am extremely prone to spells and spirals of depression ( especially in the summertime ), which, when combined with my already self-confidence cannibalizing anxiety disorder creates a very toxic, negative, medieval torture chamber of a headspace which makes makes my brain…

Very Unwell.

in essence, because of how frighteningly fragile i become, even tiniest inkling of doubt in my mind can poison the entire inkwell...and when that happens, even though i know, deep down, in a healthy, reasonable place, that the content i curate is well-composed, well-received writing that i am passionate about and should be proud of...the cracks and fissures that form in my heart and pysche from the broiler room of pressure i put on myself to preform create several vulnerable visceral openings for My Imposter Syndrome to worm into.

but instead of whispering sweet, sweet nothings, it's doomsay screaming awful, awful Everythings! that this thing you wrote that you love? not good enough. Everyone Is Going To Hate That. the people who liked that post? they just feel sorry for you and if you had any remorse, you would feel sorry for subjecting them to something so underwhelming, stupid, embarrassing and beneath them.

You Should Delete It.

[ DELETE. ] IT.

...aaaaand because the sirens are going off in my head, i feel like the walls are closing in, i frantically press the panic button ( delete post ) and think that i am doing everyone a favor bc not only are you no longer having to read what my extremely overloaded and anxiety corroded brain has classified as "EMBARRASSINGLY BAD" work, but i no longer have to feel ashamed bc it's

Gone.

or well...Privated. ( in this case. )

because i DO work so hard on everything i post that even when i think that it is extremely underwhelming no matter what i do, it is Hard for me to delete it because of the brain-power, intensive-typing and heart that went into making them...so like...it's a strange thing because i know that it's just an echo-chamber of evil lies and untruths, but when i'm rocking back and forth, with my chest eating my knees, and my entire education degree goes out the window when i can't teach myself how to breathe because of how bad i feel...

it's hard.

but...like i tell my kindergarteners everyday.

You Can Do HARD Things.

life is not easy, but it is worth it.

loving yourself is not easy...

But YOU Are Worth It.

unfortunately, i am a better at preaching than practicing. but a large part of my irl job is modelling good behavior and on here, i was deeply moved and touched to find that so many of you think so highly of me, so i also want to model good behavior on here.

which hinges on honesty...and hope.

so, basically, i did delete my post, which is made me feel good in the moment, but overall is not kind to myself ( or to the people who enjoyed reading the thing i randomly killed with knives and hammers because it wasn't 'Perfect' ) and i do not like modelling avoidant behavior, but it is also important to show you that i struggle, that it is okay to feel strange and sad, but that i am working on...not deleting my posts because i am a perfectionist/scared of letting you all down.

which...was clearly not the case? Wowza.

i really did not realize so many people cared about that, aha! but please feel free to ask me anything about kyley b kyle ( i have been trying to generate my thoughts and form some hcs actually! i love him being a sardonic, smart alecky delinquent boy in giant ed hardy jeans and a million different street fighter gta rings on his fingers )

also feel free to ask me anything, flashback related, random hc related, personal or otherwise! i know i've got a ton in the box, but i promise that just because i'm going through a lot and posting sporadically, doesn't mean you have be a stranger...

Just Be Gentle.

with me and as always,

with yourselves.

-uncle nina, doing her best <3