#New timeline new life (same family is chaos)

[five-hargreeves-marvel-fan-25]

New Timelines New Life (Same family in Choas)

Chapter Two

“Ah Sloane?” Ben called from The main room. 

“What wrong Ben?” Sloane asked. She turned to the TV and watched the reporter talk about the massacre of a gang. 

“20 men dead. I only know one person who could cause that much blood,” Ben said, “I know a certain brother who was an ex assassin with blinking power that made killing crazy efficient,”

“Do you think he has his powers?” Sloane asked. 

“Don’t know. But I don’t think you could just no have them. Even when I was dead I had my powers,” Ben says.

“I asked because I tried floating - my power. And I couldn’t. It’s strange,”

“Come to think of it. I can’t feel the horror,” Ben agreed.

“So your siblings are in the world with out their powers,”

“Well at least we don’t have to worry about one of them ending the world,”

“Yeah. We should go searching for them. If we find one we should find the others,” 

“You know who to find. I know who to find,”

“When you find the people, have them come here.”

The walked out and Ben sees the Academy has a sign. Though like the rest of the building the sign looked broken and worn down.

Umbrella Street’s home for Wayward Children. 

-o0o-

Five walked into the “office” and he could tell that everyone was on edge. The minute before he had heard laughing at a joke someone had said. Five were used to this. He didn’t give a fuck. Right before he was about to sit at his desk, Ms. Handler was standing right there.

“Five”

“Ms. Handler,”

“Great job on your work last night,”

“Thank you,”

“You should take the day off,”

He looked at her “exsuse me”

“You deserve a break. Five of you are top worker. I also granted that rise you put in for,” 

”Thank you,”

“Tell your sweet girl friend Delores I said hello,”

“I don’t mix my personal life and work together,”

“But Delores does know why you do for a living right?”

“Of course,” Five said, rolling her eyes. 

Five ended up going to the bar two buildings away from the job the night before. Mostly because they didn’t card at the door. Five sat up at the bar. The bartender was a guy in a jean jacket with fur lining. When the bartender turn around he was shocked to see a teacher sitting there.

“We don’t serve minors,” the bartender said.

“Why ever not?”  Five said, giving a shit eating grin.

“Because it’s against the law and I could get this place shut down,”

Five grumbled. 

“Look I can’t save you alcohol but is there anything I can get you?”

“Two cheeseburgers, a coffee, and a tea unsweetened with two lemons. To go,” Five grumbled.

“Okay. I’m Viktor by the way,”

“Five”

“Like the number?”

“No like the letter,” Five snapped. Viktor put in the order and turned back to Five.

“You are one moody ass teen,”

“You would be if you spent the night killing people three times your size,” Five said. He had no problem saying the truth because this man was not likely to even believe him. One benefit that the Home taught him: no one suspects a kid to be a murder. 

“Really?” Viktor asked. Viktor wasn’t sure if to be scared cause the kid could be a serial killer or laugh because the kid was crazy. Klaus would have a field day with this.

“Really and how would someone so young be able to get a jump on guys three times your size,”

“The Gang I killed was bright. So snapped the bodyguard's necks and then one other started firing. I loaded my gun and shot them and killed the rest with an axe,” Five said with yet another shit eating grin. Viktor was so concerned. This kid had just play play a murder of a group of people. Viktor knew he was going to the cops about this kid so he kept asking questions about him.

“And your parents let you be out late? Don’t you have a curfew?”

“In order to have a curfew you have to have parents or a person that gives a shit about you. The only person that really gives a shit knows that it do what I do,”

“They don’t question it,”

“No, she accepts all my flaws. To be honest I don’t deserve him at all,”

“She sounds great,”

“Yeah. My only regret is that when someone kills because believe me someone will. My regret is that I won’t be able to spend my afterlife with her. Hell is going to suck for me so much,” Fire laughed.

“There is a way to make it so you could stay with you,” Viktor said. Viktor, what are you doing? You are putting this girl in danger.

“Oh”

“You could always make it so she was damned to. Both of you would go to hell. Together,”

Five looked serious and it sent shivers down Viktor's spine, “I would never do that. Delores doesn’t deserve that. She deserves to go to peace. Damning her would be damning everything good in my life,”

“You really care for her?” Viktor said, shocked.

“Of course I do. You helped my through my shitty life,” 

Then the cook finished the order. Viktor handed the meal to Five. Five gave him a fifty bill.

“That is way to much the mean was only fifteen,”

“Keep the change then. A tip for talking to me. Maybe next time you’ll let me have a drink?”

“Thank but it's still not happening. Hey the order yiu taking to your girl? Delores?”

“Yeah. Going to surprise her at work,”

“Nice,” Viktor nodded. Five opened the door letting Klaus in. Viktor watched as the kid walked down the street.

“Are you serving kids now Vico?” Klaus said sitting in the same spot as Five had.

“No. The kid tried to though,” Viktor said.

“Bad lucky to him. He came to the bar with the tightest ass bartender and owner,”

“Yeah but I need to call the cops,”

“Why?” Klaus said ready for some gossip. 

“Because the kid that just left. I think he murdered the gang two building from us,”

“Well shit,” Klaus said shocked.

Viktor walked over to the bar’s pay phone and dialed 9-1-1. 

“Hello 9-1-1 what is your emergency?”

“It’s not an emergency, at least not like that,” Viktor clears up with the operator.

“Why did you call?”

“All think I might have a tip on a serial murder case,”

-o0o-

“Diego!” Someone called.

“Yeah?”

“I think I might have a lead in your gang case,” the cop said.

“Damn, well due tell,”

“I got a call from an owner of a bar on the street that their bodies were found. He thinks he just talked to the killer,” 

“Killer as in one guy?” Diego asked, confused. The gang that was taken down must have been like a ten man team. Not one guy. 

“Yeah,”

“Well I take everything I can get,”

“Address is on your desk,”

“Thanks man,”

Diego stood in the front of the bar that the beat cop gave him. He opened the door. The bar has been shut down. Only two men sat in the bar. One got up as soon as Diego said. The man held out his hand.

“Viktor. And that’s Klaus,” the man introduced. Klaus had a lazy wave from where he sat.

“Detective Diego Handler,”

“Thank you for coming, Detective,” Viktor says.

“Yeah of course they tell me you have a tip,” Diego said, grabbing his pad of paper. Viktor told Diego everything.

“A kid?” Diego said, shocked.

“Yes. He looked about 16,” Viktor confirms. Diego mumbles something else and closes the pad.

“You don’t card at the door?”

“Only after eight. It’s also a restaurant during the day,” Viktor said. 

“Okay. Did he mention anyone else? Anyone else that might be endangered,” 

“He mentioned his girlfriend. Delores,”

“Anything about Delores?”

“He made mention that she was much better then him. And didn’t deserve her,”

“That’s all?”

“Yes,”

“Well Viktor let me know if the kid comes back again. And if it does, call 9-1-1. It seems this kid is really dangerous,” 

-o0o-

Sloane thought she had seen Luther walk into the clothing store. She walked around and a worker must have thought she was lost because a burnett walked up to her. Her name badges read Delores. 

“Do you need help finding anything?”

“Yes umm this is usually but I’m looking for my Husband, Luther Hargreeves. I thought I saw him walk in here. He’s over six foot. Blond and built like a muscle man,”

Delores laughed, “Quite usual. I don’t think I have. I can let othe other know. And if you give your number to the front desk then if we see we’ll call. I’m sorry I’ll look for him. But my lunch is in ten minutes,”

“Thank you so much,” 

“Of course,” 

The door rang and Delores ran to go help them and Sloane went to wander the store. Delores stop short when she saw Five.

“What are you doing here though you were at work?” She said, giving him a hug.

“Boss gave me the day off. Though I’d bring you lunch,” he said, holding up a bag and a cardboard drink holder with two cups.

“Thank you so much!” She said hugging him. The two walked outside and sat on the bench.

“How was work?” Five asked her.

“It was work. Just met a lady looking for her husband in the story said she lost him,”

“Probably though the husband was cheating and was following him,” 

“Must you alway be so negative?” She asked.

“Sorry,” he muttered.

“Oh I might get promoted,” Delores said happily. 

“That's great. You deserve it?” Five smiles drinking his coffee. Sloane walked if the clothing store and saw Delores sitting next to a boy how was wearing a dress shirt, vest and tie. Dress up really more then anymore his age. It reminded her of well Five. FIVE! Sloane turned around.

“Five?” Sloane asked. Both teenagers turned to look at Sloane.

“How the hell are you,” Five said, looking like her was going to grab a weipon. Delores stopped him. 

“It’s Sloane you don’t remember? We’ve been trying to find all your siblings. I was Luther in the store,” Sloane rambled. Five got up Delores tried to stop him but he walked towards Sloane.

“Listín lady, I haven't talk to any of those kids since I was ten. So if they are looking for me any of them. Tell them all to go to hell,” Five said, getting in Sloane's face. Delores dragged Five back. 

“Five but your an Umbrella,”

“Thanks for reminding me. Go to fucking hell,” Five said cleaning up Delores and his meal and walking inside the store. Delores watched him leave.

“Look if anyone from Umbrella Street is looking for him. Please tell him don’t. He’s been through enough,”

Delores said before walking inside. 

-o0o-

Ben has by a  counseling building. It had a photo of all the different photos of the counselors and what groups that they lead. He saw Klaus’ photo in two. Grief counseling for family members are passed to service member. And for recovering drug and alcohol addicts. Both are very fitting for his brother. He went inside. He walked up to the lady at the front desk.

“Hi I’m looking for Klaus Hargreeves,” Ben said.

“There is no one here by that last name,”

“I just saw his photo outside. I know Klaus is here,” Ben said.

“Oh Klaus. Yes, that sweet heart. He’s not here. I think he left with the friend,” 

“What friend,”

“I think his name was Viktor. He owns a bar Two  streets down,” 

Ben ran out. If he found Viktor and Klaus he would only have to find Five. Which might be harder because no one could find Five didn’t want to be found.

***New Chapter y’all. Hope you guys like. I currently typing chapter three. Going a bit slow. Don’t worry though I try to finish soon. I’ll make a table of contents post and add chapter as three post so you can there for the chapters. So that’s soon. Anyway let me know what you think. Sorry for any grammatical errors and spelling. I’m not the best speller.

Thanks!!!

[the-upside-down-umbrella]

Partners? Partners.

Five Hargreeves x Fem!Reader

Summary: Y/N Hargreeves, formerly of the Sparrow Academy, finds herself virtually alone in the reset timeline. The Umbrella’s bring her in to their chaos and she builds something new for herself while still navigating the grief of losing her family. She’s happy in the simplicity. That is, until the one Hargreeves she can’t seem to win over comes to her with an offer she might not be able to refuse.

Warnings: Some cursing. Some angst.

(Part 1/?)

A/N: This one will be 4 or 5 parts. A bit of a coffee shop AU if you squint

——————

She missed her family. She missed them so desperately that sometimes when she dreamt of them at night, she would wake up in tears as the loneliness set in and she realized that her dreams were the only place she would see them again. They had been dysfunctional and as far as families go, not that close, but they had been hers. She would never understand how she had survived everything, how she had made it through the reset when the others did not. She technically had Ben but he had distanced himself not just from the Umbrella’s, but from her, as soon as they fell into this timeline. Now he was in prison for a white-collar bitcoin crime and he refused to have visitors altogether. She was well and truly the last of her family.

It got easier with time and she fell into a predictable, mundane routine. For the first time in her life, she was forced to slow down and be a normal human being. No powers. No Sparrow Academy. Just living and surviving.

She found an apartment with a roommate who mostly kept to themselves and a stable, if not a bit boring, job as a barista at a local coffee shop just a block from home. It wasn’t much and some months she was barely scraping by, but it was a start and she was happy.

The other Hargreeves children, the Umbrellas, brought her into the fold of their chaotic family and soon, she began to feel less alone.

She had brunch with Luther every Sunday at his club. They spent that time talking about Sloane, keeping her memory alive between them. She shared her childhood memories of her sister and Luther soaked it all in, grateful to receive any little piece of new information about his wife that he could get. She was thankful for that time with him and happy that someone loved Sloane the way she always deserved to be loved. Even if it was just for a moment.

Diego and Lila had her over for family game night at least once a month and she had coffee with Lila every week at the shop. Their children called her aunt and she made sure that they were properly spoiled, much to their parent's dismay.

She made the trek to Victor’s bar often in the evenings not just for the free drinks, but because he was actually wonderful company and he made sure to carve out time to sit and talk with her whenever he could take a break from running things. Like her, she suspected that he also felt a bit lonely.

Klaus and Allison came as a pair these days. Their dynamic was a sight to behold as Klaus navigated his newfound sobriety, and Allison pulled together a life doing what she loved, to support her daughter. She loved being around them.

But there was one particular family member that Y/N could not quite figure out.

Five.

Apart from their initial interaction at Sloane and Luther’s wedding where he had drunkenly accosted her about her powers, he had barely acknowledged her existence. While she was building relationships with his other siblings, he kept her at arm's length. Sure, he was cordial with her at family events and dinners, but that’s where he drew the line. He rebuffed every attempt she made at finding a connection with him.

That is until he started showing up every morning at the coffee shop she worked at. The same time every morning and the same, predictable order.

The first time he walked through the door she was taken aback. She knew he lived on the other side of town but she chalked it up to some work thing bringing him there.

He made his order, indulged her in small talk, and sat down, opening up a newspaper to read while he sipped his coffee.

She thought it was a one-off, but was very surprised when he turned up the next morning at the same time.

And then the morning after that and the morning after that.

He began conversing with her for longer periods of time, asking questions about her day-to-day life after the reset and even sharing some tidbits of information about himself. She knew he worked for the CIA and had recently moved into a new apartment.

A few weeks went by and each day was the same. It reached the point that she would have his coffee made and the donut he liked set aside before he even made it through the door.

But after a while, her curiosity began to get the better of her. Why was he here? Why was he suddenly showing interest in her and what she was doing with her life? It was making her crazy!

“Your black, boring coffee, sir,” Y/N said in the most sugary sweet voice she could muster, setting the cup down in front of the irritating man in front of her.

Five immediately picked it up and took a deep sip, “Fantastic as usual.”

She pulled the chair out across from him and sat down with a huff, “Cut the crap, Five. We both know you have much closer coffee shops to your apartment. Why, may I ask, do you insist on frequenting mine? Is it just to pester me?”

“Maybe I just like your company,” Five shrugged, leaning back to observe her.

This poked at her ire even more. He was always doing that. Just observing her like some sort of animal in an enclosure. Always there at his little table near the window. Rain or shine.

“Oh please!” She scoffed, “You’ve never given any indication that you even like me, let alone enjoy my company. In fact, until you started showing up here every day, I was pretty sure you hated me. So, again, cut the crap and tell me why you’re really here.”

“Fine,” he said, sitting his mug down so that he could give her his full, undivided attention, “I have a proposition for you.”

“This should be good.”

“My boss wants me to take on a partner,” he explained, “but the problem with that is that I don’t really trust…anyone really. But I’ve watched you these last few years, Y/N, and I know that you’re smart, analytical, and incredibly sharp. Your powers fine-tuned all of your senses and even if you don’t have them anymore, that’s still there. And that’s what I want in a partner.”

“Five, I’m not even trained to work for the CIA,” she reminded him, “I’m sure they’re not going to just let some random person join ranks without experience.”

“But you do have experience,” he insisted, “you’re a Sparrow. You’ve literally been trained since birth to be a fighter, a spy, or whatever else Dad needed us to be.”

“Need I remind you that neither the sparrows nor the umbrellas existed in this timeline? So none of that is going to mean jack shit to anyone.”

“It will if I forge a few documents,” he said, leaning forward so that he could get a clear look at her, “How do you think I got this far looking this young? I’ll do the same for you and everyone will think you’re an FBI transfer. They’ll be none the wiser. Trust me, not everyone high up is as smart as they’d like to think they are.”

She doubted anyone was that stupid.

“Five, this might come as a surprise to you, but I actually really like my life here,” she told him, “it’s peaceful and easy and I don’t really need any more than that. After so long of fighting and striving for perfection for the Sparrows, I’m ready to just settle down and live slowly. So, thanks, but I think I’ll pass.”

“You say that,” he chuckled, “you say that you want peace and quiet but I know that’s just something you tell yourself. Because I’ve told myself the same thing and it didn’t suit me. But let’s face it, you’re as unhinged as me. You NEED the chaos. You thrive on it.”

“You’re really not doing yourself any favors here, Five,” she hissed. “Besides, why me? Why haven’t you asked Diego? Hasn’t he been bugging you about bringing in his resume? Make him your partner.”

“Diego and Lila have enough going on in their lives,” he waved her off, “And Diego is a skilled fighter but he lacks in the brains department. Trust me.”

With that final statement, Five stood up and pushed in his chair before downing the last dredges of his coffee, “Just think about it, okay? And until then, I’ll be here every day, as usual. No one makes a cup of coffee quite like you.”

With a wink he left her sitting at the table alone, wondering why on earth she was actually considering his offer.

[kettlefire]

Time forgets most (DPxDC)

I've been getting too many brain worms that I need to clear out the cramp space that is my idea vault. In doing so, I'm just posting off-handed, random things I've typed up at work. (Partly so my drafts don't just end up like my vault). Without further ado, a much too too long post

°•°•°•°

The movement of time is a much too complex thing for many to understand. The knowledge that time was not perfectly linear. The past did not simply stay in the past. The future is not simply something to look forward to. The present is not simply a fleeting moment.

Time is a complex web. Every point in time, connected to another point in time. A never-ending mess of webs and connections. Things that are to be. Things that can be. Things that are being. Things that will never see the light of day in this universe.

Despite what some may want to believe, Time has no master. Time does not yield to any singular being. That did not mean that Time didn't need a helping hand. A guiding hand to help keep the chaos of time to something just a little more... fluid.

The being came to exist well before the universe had. The being was festered, taught, and nurtured in a small pocket dimension. A small space just like an incubator.

Until the world blossomed around it. Life started to grow. Time kept moving. Living organisms found untimely deaths. Evolved, learned, and grew into the new space around it.

When the first little creature crawled out of the water, Time's keeper was let free. A bumbling little thing, breaming with life and curiosity.

Just like everything else in the world, this keeper wasn't safe from time. It still moved. Brought forth problems and adventures.

As time continued to tick. Moving in every direction, the keeper continued to age. Unlike the rest of the universe, the keeper didn't age the same as others.

Some days, he was nothing but a small boy, frolicking in a field of flowers and bees. Other days, he was a strong middle-aged man. Pulling the strings in just the right way, pushing for a timeline that felt right.

On days that have been happening much more often. He was but a crippled old man, hunched over his staff, and dropping much needed wisdom on the young lives around him.

Being the keeper of time wasn't an easy feat. Being completely out of time, experiencing things in broken order. There was only a clear start, and a jumble of things that followed.

The keeper was content with his life. Watching over the world as it grew and blossomed. He was content with his special kind of solitude.

That was until he saw the boy. In the webs of moments, the keeper's gaze had found him. A boy much too young, suddenly with powers much too great thrusted upon him.

The keeper watched the scenes play out. The tears, laughter, humiliation, triumph, and pain. He watched as the boy's family was ripped from him. Watched the twisted attempt at fixing his life, only for it to go horribly wrong.

He watched the bloodshed and chaos that erupted. The lives ripped apart and destroyed. Not a single sign of life left behind.

Then he watched as the boy, no, not a boy anymore. The keeper watched as the monster tore through the fabric of time. Ripped its way through the thin veils that divided the universes.

Universes that had never known the boy's existence were torn to shreds to. A flight driven with pain and anger.

Despite the keeper having seen the boy turn into such a monster. He could see it in the beast's eyes. The deep-seated need for a family, a life. To be loved.

Something about the boy's life, his story, spoke to the keeper. He found himself reaching out into the web of lives and moments. Finding the moment when things went the most wrong for the boy.

Just like that, the keeper had inserted himself into a life. He pulled the boy out of the cruel stream of time. Filled the boy with the knowledge he needed. Let the boy see just what could happen if he let it.

The keeper of time was soon a simple mentor. A simple deity looking out for the world. Taking on the mantel of Clockwork and finding a new purpose for his life.

A young boy's life has been flipped upside down two times now. And there were certainly more to come. This time, the boy wasn't alone. He had a guiding hand, and a communtiy behind him.

The keeper, no, Clockwork watched with a strange pride and happiness he hadn't felt in a long time. The boy was quickly surrounded by a family that helped him navigate his new powers.

Clockwork, alongside many of the other ghostly beings, watched on with pride as the young boy grew into a strong young man. Mastering powers, taking a stand, and making their home safe.

Despite the best efforts, time always beings problems.

It was one thing for Clockwork. He was the keeper of time. His life has reason to exist as long as time exists. Which will always be. His purpose was infinite.

But this boy... Danny wasn't like Clockwork. He was still partially human and terrified of losing his humanity. Danny's story had to come to an end, it's how time works.

Except, Danny wasn't in the timeline anymore. Clockwork had ensured that, pulled Danny into a separate timeline. An unaccounted for timeline.

He couldn't live here forever, not the way that Clockwork could. Danny needs a life, a family, a place, a purpose. He was still human.

It took more effort than Clockwork would have liked. He had to cash in favors from other deities that he hadn't spoken to in centuries.

It took a combined effort of everyone who cared for the little halfa. The strange boy that teeter on the line between life and death. The boy who had freed the Zone from a tyrant. Who wanted nothing more than for everyone to live a happy and filled life/afterlife.

Getting the magic and spells right was the hard part. But finding the location was easy. A beautiful planet just on the edge of the Milky Way. Unlikely to be disturbed or hurt.

The planet was undiscovered, primative even. Far enough from humans that Clockwork was certain Danny wouldn't be bothered. Only one species lived on that planet. Along the jungle like fauna, and in the water.

Cute little guys, barely bigger than two feet long and one foot tall. There was no name, no knowledge about them. Aside from Clockwork analyzing their way of life.

A simple cycle. They were born, they aged, they played, fed, mated, and then died. A simple but content life.

The aliens weren't unsettling. At least not to anyone who has seen more creatures than what Earth has to offer. It is a strange combination between frog, fish, and squid.

Scurrying around on two legs and four tentacles. A small frog-like face with eyes that seemed to take up half that space. Colors vary from blues to greens to the same sandy brown found at the bottom of the lakes.

Before long, the planet had its own protector. A young boy who once was lost and alone seemed to meld perfectly with these aliens.

Clockwork was always sure of himself. He never let anyone see otherwise. Except, Clockwork hadn't been sure. Not when he had performed the ritual.

As he molded and changed Danny's DNA until the man was a new being entirely. To anyone who didn't know the full story, the boy could easily look related to the aliens.

Gills now painted the sides of his neck, not necessary, but Clockwork felt like it had been. Webbed hands and feet to make transversing the underwater caves even easier. An ethereal, almost siren-like touch to Danny.

It worked out perfectly. Danny settled in easily. Building a routine and bound with the aliens. It hadn't been hard for the little creature to take a liking to him.

Before long, it was routine. Danny would spend most of his time on the planet, watching over his new wards. On some days, he'd portal back to the zone. Spend time with the ghosts and deities that saved his life. To check in on the new govermental system that had been put in place.

It was perfect. Simple and nice. Everyone got complacent. The longer time went on without a hiccup or a problem. The longer Danny was able to rest in his odd solitude. The more people got comfortable.

The more they forgot that time was as cruel as it was forgiving.

It had been just another day cycle. Danny was playing with the most recent litter birth. The first time he had seen the birth, he was more disgusted than anything else.

After the third time, Danny had started getting excited. He looked forward to it. Loved seeing the aliens flourish and grow. Watching them thrive and find more fun in the things Danny creates. Every new fun game or obstacle was always made with the things natural to the planet. Or debris that was caught in its gravitational pull.

Danny was playing with Plop. The little guy got his name, and he always plopped out of the water. Unlike the other aliens, this one didn't crawl out. No, he'd pull himself out of the water with his tentacles, only to plop down on the ground.

Of course, Plop had also been the first alien to approach Danny when he arrived. It's how they formed such a strong bond.

Everything had seemed perfectly fine. The day was rolling along just like it always did. That was until a small group of the more elder aliens suddenly came scurrying into their main cave.

They hadn't waited a second before diving into the water. Danny watched, confused and concerned, as each one of them grabbed one of the young. Before shooting straight into the underwater cave system.

The once bustling and living cave was suddenly eerily quiet and void of any aliens. Leaving behind only the confused Danny in the pool.

At least that's what a certain Green Lantern saw when he followed the trail of retreating aliens.

This planet had been categorized to have no signs of intelligent life. It seemed to have the option to nurture life, but there had been no signs.

When Hal Jordan got word of a seeming spike of activity from the supposedly empty planet, he had added it to his rooster.

A quick peek, just a look into what kind of life might be starting to grow there. The little aliens he had seen were adorable, sure. But they didn't seem all that evolved. Still in their evolutionary journey.

That was until Hal saw him.

Now, Hal was no stranger to running into ethereal beauty. It's what happens when someone interacts with aliens on a basic daily. That was something he was used to.

Except, all his breath seemed to be knocked out of him completely. The cave alone was stunning, a stark contrast from the almost barren surface he had first seen.

A deep, shimmering blue pool that vanished into the rocky space around it. Trees, bushes, and flowers decorate the area. It looked almost too good to be true. Like an oasis in the middle of a desert.

Then there was the being that caught all of Hal's attention. Bright blue eyes that looked like gems, pale blue-tinged skin. Long black and white hair seemed to look almost like the night sky. A deep abyss littered with stars.

The closest thing that Hal's brain supplied was a siren. A beautiful, ethereal creature that lured men to their deaths. As beautiful as it seemed, Hal knew there could easily be danger.

Except, the creature didn't attack or threaten him.

Instead, he seemed almost shy. Mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water, sharp deadly teeth flashing in the light with each motion.

Hal had just opened his mouth, taken a hesitant step forward. He wanted to know, and he needed to know how this happened. There wasn't supposed to be an intelligent, sophisticated life on this planet.

The moment Hal's lips parted, the creature let out a trill. A sound that seemed more scared than aggressive. Before suddenly, the beautiful creature vanished into the pool.

Hal moved before he could think, rushing to the edge of the pool. He peered into the crystal clear water, just in time to take the webbed feet of the creature vanish into a tunnel.

Now that left Hal with two options. He could either report this and wait for backup...

Or...

Or...

He could jump inside. The ring would protect him, and his lungs would be fine. Perks of being a Green Lantern.

That option seemed much more tempting to Hal. Nothing about this scream an outright threat. He felt more like a strange imposing on someone's home. A home that was meant for safety and protection of the young.

Yet, the shimmering water seemed to be calling to Hal. Something in him was trying to push him to get inside. To find the beautiful creature and learn more. Learn how this happened.

Without realizing it, Hal Jordan sealed his fate the moment he dipped a finger into the cool pool. Rippling the steady surface just slightly.

Just enough to get him wrapped up in the strange web created by time and its keeper.

[redroomreflections]

When in Bloom

Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader

A Family of Her Own Series

10/10

Masterlist | General Masterlist

w/c: 7.9k

Summary: After the fall of the Avengers, Natasha Romanoff returns home to her secret family—a life she's carefully hidden away for years. Struggling to balance her role as a mother and wife while avoiding the dangers of her past, Natasha is forced to make difficult decisions that impact her loved ones.

This Chapter: Natasha makes the ultimate sacrifice.

Note: I spent my entire Sunday writing this. I paused and rewound the movie 50 times. I utilized ChatGPT to help me with timelines. I read the script. I pulled out all the resources to ensure I did my big one for y'all. Special shoutout to Grammarly Premium for making my writing look and sound professional-like. Enjoy =)

Breakfast was always something Natasha found important. In her mind, it was more than just a meal; it was the fuel that powered her through the day. She never skipped it, a rare and comforting constant in her life. Even now, in a quiet city apartment far removed from the chaos of her past, the ritual of making breakfast each morning grounded her.

In the Red Room, food was always viewed strictly as fuel, something utilitarian and calculated. She never spoke much about those years, especially not with Nicky—he was still too young to understand, and she didn’t want that darkness clouding his view of her. But she could remember the harsh regimens, the rigid routines, the lessons drilled into her: taking care of herself wasn’t a luxury; it was mandatory. A weak Widow was a liability; weakness was something she had never been allowed to show.

She tried not to think too deeply about what her training had left her with—it was just one more thing in a long line of things that had happened to her.

"Mama, I'm almost ready," Nicky shuffled to the room with his laces untied and jacket hanging from his body. Ollie walked with him at his tail. He sat next to Natasha, looking up with big, hopeful eyes.

"I don't have anything for you, sweet boy," Natasha smiled apologetically. Ollie whined and laid his head on the floor. Natasha turned away from the dog to inspect Nicky. He was sitting on the floor, his hands attempting to tie his laces as his little tongue stuck out.

"What do you need, Myshka?" Natasha asked, and Nicky held his foot up.

"I can't do the knots, they're too small."

Natasha smiled and tied his shoes. She stood up, and Nicky followed suit, his coat fully zipped and his backpack slung over his shoulders.

"Can we stop for hot chocolate on the way to school?"

"I made breakfast," Natasha shook her head.

"Eggs and toast again?" He asked as he sat at the table.

"Eggs and toast," Natasha nodded. It was all she knew how to make without burning.

"Okay," Nicky sighed, "but I want a donut tomorrow."

Natasha rolled her eyes.

"We'll see," she answered.

"It's a promise!" He said.

"You know how I feel about those," she chided. "I don't make them unless I can follow through."

Nicky dug into his eggs and toast with a resigned but good-natured sigh; Natasha sat across from him, her phone buzzing softly on the table. She’d promised herself that breakfast would always be their time, uninterrupted, but the messages were piling up.

Okoye: "Natasha, we’re seeing unusual cartel activity in Mexico City. I think it’s Barton."

Rhodes: "Saw the same. We have casualties this time—he’s not holding back anymore. Might be time to intervene."

She rubbed her temples, reading over each message carefully. It had been like this for months: catching glimpses of Barton’s brutal one-man war, getting vague reports, but never close enough to reach him. And each new incident seemed to confirm what she already knew—Clint was spiraling, slipping further away with every mission.

Nicky munched on his toast, his little eyes flitting between her and Ollie, who was sulking on the floor. She gave him a quick smile, trying to shake the tension out of her shoulders, and typed a response.

"I'm on it. I'll be at the compound in an hour," She typed.

"Who's that?" Nicky asked, his eyes still watching Ollie.

"A friend," Natasha said, putting her phone down. "They're working on a case."

"The Avenger kind of case?"

"Exactly the kind," she nodded.

"Can I go on a mission with you someday?"

"Hmm, you have to finish first grade and learn to tie your shoes," She said. "Then we can talk."

Nicky finished the rest of his breakfast, and Natasha helped him clean up and get his backpack ready. As she grabbed her jacket, Natasha saw a message flash from another chat, this one from Nora.

Nora: "Hey, are we still on for tonight? Let me know what you’re in the mood for."

They’d only met a few months ago, but Natasha was easing into an unlikely friendship with Nora. They both tried to ignore the fact that they'd almost slept together. Their camaraderie was something she needed during this time. Someone who didn't know her world. Someone as a listening ear.

She hadn’t told Nora much about her past or work—what she could share, anyway—but Nora seemed to sense her guardedness and never pressed for more.

Natasha quickly typed back:

Natasha: "Still on for tonight. Maybe something low-key? Let’s catch up."

She tucked the phone into her jacket pocket and helped Nicky and Ollie out of the apartment, locking the door behind them.

Their walk to his bus stop was uneventful. Nicky counted the steps to the corner, babbling to her about something she had no idea about. Traffic at this time was nonexistent, especially after the Snap. It was just her, Nicky, and Ollie walking, their steps in sync.

"Remember your homework and ensure you're practicing your cursive," she reminded him.

"I know, I will," Nicky huffed.

"Have a good day at school," Natasha said, crouching down to Nicky's level. "I love you, always."

"Love you too," he leaned in and kissed her cheek. "Bye, Ollie!"

He ran off, his backpack bouncing with him, as he met the other children at the bus stop. The bus rolled in, and the children all piled in. Natasha stayed until the doors shut, and the bus disappeared from her view.

This was their normal.

********

The training room was quiet, and the soft hum of electricity was all around her. She could hear the shuffling of her feet and the clank of the bag as it hit the floor.

It had taken Natasha a while, but she found her rhythm again. She stood in front of the mirror, wearing a simple black shirt and sweatpants, her feet grounded to the floor as she pulled her hair into a tight, controlled bun. Her fingers moved with practiced precision, twisting and pinning the strands into place as if the routine and discipline would quiet the noise in her mind. Every movement felt deliberate, a small act of control.

The soft padding of her shoes across the floor felt comforting as she moved to the center of the room. She stretched, her arms reaching above her head, bending into a series of quiet, fluid motions. There was a certain peace in this, a kind of grace she hadn’t known she needed until she found it again.

She moved through pirouettes, the motion sharp and fluid before she landed softly back onto the floor. Natasha paused, standing tall, breathing steady. She was a soldier. A leader. A mother. But for this moment, she was just a woman, letting her body regain balance.

When she had the time, she would sit in this training room. Sometimes, she'd cry. Other times, she would dance when her mind and body needed it.

Today, she'd danced.

Her hands came up in a strong pose, her right leg pointed, and her left hand raised.

The music started with a quiet melody.

Her muscles remembered. Her body knew what to do.

Natasha took a deep breath, and then she began to dance.

The ache in her chest seemed to tighten with every motion, a dull, constant throb she couldn't shake. It wasn't the physical exhaustion, the burn in her legs from stretching too far, too long—it was the grief, the absence, a constant reminder of what had been taken from her.

The anniversary was coming up. Eight and a half years together. She tried not to think about it, but the numbers wouldn't leave her alone. Five years lost. It felt impossible to imagine what those years might have been. What would life be like now if it were not for the Snap? If not for the universe tearing itself apart?

Stella would be nine. Natasha could almost picture it: a small girl with dark, wild curls and an infectious smile. Her eyes would have sparkled with the same mischief as you. She would have been old enough to start thinking about her future and to ask questions that Natasha would have been too tired to answer. But you'd have done it together, as a family.

Natasha stopped suddenly, her foot hitting the ground hard.

A lump had formed in her throat, and the tears threatened to spill.

The pain was like a knife, a sudden, violent stabbing deep inside.

There may have been another baby by now. Maybe she'd have been thinking about balancing the mission, the children, the quiet mornings, and the long days filled with reports and decisions. She'd have retired by now. She'd have given up avenging, given up this life of constant motion, just to hold onto the people she loved.

Her mind wandered, remembering how you’d looked when you held Stella for the first time, the joy in your eyes as you held that tiny life. Natasha wanted to hold onto that memory. She wanted to feel the weight of her daughter in her arms again. But she couldn’t.

Her foot faltered as she spun, the motion too sharp and quick. She caught herself, steadying on one leg before continuing the movement. Her body knew the steps. It was the heart that was falling behind. She could push through it—she always had.

But today, the ache felt too much to ignore. She wished for a moment that she could turn off the grief, pretend that it wasn’t there, that it didn’t eat at her every time she saw a family or a couple. Every time she saw a child running through a park or a mom at the grocery store. Every time, she thought about the future she would never have.

*********

Natasha sat among the ring of holo-screens, only half listening to the chatter from each team member. Rocket, Carol, Okoye, Nebula, and Rhodey spoke, trading updates and frustrations across the galaxy. She held a small peanut butter container in her hand, absentmindedly scooping out spoonfuls as she listened. The sandwich in front of her remained untouched. The familiar, salty taste grounded her, though it did little to quell the churn of thoughts spiraling within her.

The screen shifted to Rocket, whose frustrated voice was loud and clear.

Rocket's voice rang from the Halo. "So, thanks for the hot tip."

Natasha smirked a little despite herself, watching the banter continue between him and Carol. But her mind kept flickering back to the breakfast she'd rushed with Nicky, how she'd promised him she’d be home after her day at the compound. She'd need Nora to pick him up from school again.

Carol’s voice cut through the chatter. "The things that have been happening on Earth have been happening everywhere else. On thousands of planets. You might not see me for a long time."

Natasha swallowed another spoonful of peanut butter, feeling the weight of Carol's words settle over her. It was a reminder of just how enormous this loss was—this endless damage, stretching farther than anyone could have imagined. She’d stayed, kept her footing here, but even her little world seemed to be slipping. Her family was fractured, Barton somewhere out there in the shadows, and her friends scattered across the world, each dealing with their own aftermath.

"All right. Everybody keep keeping their eyes open... This channel’s always active. Anything goes sideways, anyone makes trouble where they shouldn’t, it comes through me." She said.

One by one, the screens blinked out, each goodbye leaving her feeling slightly lonelier. Only Rhodey remained. She knew what he’d say before he even started.

"Federalés found a room full of bodies outside Juarez. Cartel guys... Guns still in their pants. Same MO as Marseille. And Kiev."

Her chest tightened, the peanut butter sticking in her throat. She nodded grimly, acknowledging what she'd known was coming but dreaded to hear.

"It’s definitely Barton," Rhodey said.

The confirmation settled in her like a lead weight. Clint was too far gone, and whatever had driven him to this point was something she couldn’t pull him back from—not yet. Her fingers clenched the spoon tighter, and she stared at the empty container. She’d been so focused on keeping things together, on somehow pulling everyone else back into orbit, that she hadn’t noticed just how close she was to breaking herself.

"What he’s done here...what he’s been doing...I got to tell you, part of me doesn’t want to find him." Rhodey continued.

Natasha let out a long breath, steadying herself. She had to keep it together for Nicky, Clint, and everyone else who still counted on her to lead them through this unsteady world.

"Find out where he’s going next." She fought through the tears to hold it together. She took a bite of her sandwich, hoping to ease her tears, before dropping it onto the plate.

Rhodey nodded, the screen flickering off, leaving her alone. She rubbed her eyes, letting herself sink back for a long, quiet moment. She didn’t know how long she’d sat there when she heard a familiar voice from the doorway.

"I’d offer to cook you dinner, but you seem sad enough already."

She looked up, eyes weary, but a small smile breaking through. Steve could always tell.

Natasha turned to see Steve standing in the doorway, his arms crossed as he watched her.

"Come by to do your laundry?" she asked, arching a brow.

"And see a friend," he replied.

She forced a small smile. "Your friend’s fine."

Steve raised an eyebrow, his expression softening with the familiar look he reserved for her. "She leave the house today?"

"Nothing out there I particularly want to see."

"I spotted a pod of whales coming over the bridge," he said, almost wistfully. "Closer to the city than I’ve ever seen them."

A faint, half-hearted smile tugged at Natasha’s lips. "Guess nature’s making a comeback, huh? Nice to know someone’s doing alright."

They fell into silence, and Steve watched her, something unspoken settling in the quiet. He leaned against the doorframe.

"How’s Nicky?"

Natasha's face softened at the mention of her son, her usual guarded expression slipping just a little.

"Growing faster than I can keep up with," she murmured, almost to herself. "He’s asking a lot of questions these days. Hard questions."

Steve nodded, his voice gentle. "He’s smart, like his mom."

She let out a small, tired laugh, glancing down. "Smart... yeah. And stubborn. Keeps me on my toes."

"Sounds like he’s a lot like you."

She shook her head, smiling faintly, before looking back at the table where her half-eaten sandwich sat. "He’s everything we hoped he’d be. Kind, curious... Sometimes, I wonder if he’s too gentle for this world. For what’s left of it, anyway."

A heavy silence followed her words, and Steve moved a step closer, an understanding look in his eyes.

"He’s got you to look out for him. And you’re both stronger than you think."

Natasha gave a small nod, her fingers idly tracing the rim of her coffee cup. "Maybe."

After a long moment, Steve looked up at her, his gaze steady, honest.

"Group was interesting. I keep telling them to move on. Grow past it," he said, his voice laced with something like resignation. "And some of them actually do. But not us."

Natasha held his gaze, the weight of it settling heavily between them. "If I move on," she murmured, "who does this?"

"Maybe it doesn’t need to be done," he replied quietly.

The words lingered, sinking into her. Steve was thinking of letting go. She could see the traces of weariness on his face and how he looked around the compound.

She glanced around, taking in the remnants of what had once been their team, their family. "I used to have nothing," she said softly. "Then I got this. This job, this family..."

Her voice caught, a flash of grief breaking through her carefully composed exterior. She took a breath, collecting herself.

"And even though they’re gone, I’m still trying to be... better."

Steve’s expression softened. "I think we both need to get a life."

She let out a small, almost hollow laugh. "You first."

He gave her a slight smile, then tilted his head, looking at her curiously. "What about Nora?"

Natasha’s face shifted, her smile fading. "It’s nothing," she said, brushing it off. Her gaze fell, her voice barely above a whisper. "I want my family back, Steve. My wife... Stella..."

A deep silence settled over them. Steve nodded slowly, understanding without needing any more words.

"We did our best, Nat," he murmured. "There wasn't anything more we could have done."

"That's the difficult part," She nodded.

They stared at each other, a long, quiet moment of shared melancholy. The silence wrapped around them, a reminder of all they’d lost and the people who weren’t there to share it with them anymore.

Then, a sudden ping broke through the silence. Natasha looked down at her console, swiping to a CCTV display, her eyes widening in surprise as she took in the sight on the screen.

Scott Lang’s face filled the monitor, his expression hopeful yet bewildered, with Luis’s old van parked behind him.

“Hello?” Scott’s voice crackled through the speakers. “Is anyone home? This is, uh, Scott Lang? We met a few years ago. At the airport?”

Steve leaned in, frowning as he watched Scott on the screen. “This an old message?”

Natasha shook her head, stunned. “It’s the front gate.”

********

Vormir

Natasha and Clint were climbing, their breathing ragged from the exhaustion of the long ascent. The mountain seemed endless, and with every step, Natasha felt the air become thinner. It was suffocating. Her thighs were burning, her legs shaking, but she pushed through, her heart pounding in her ears as they reached the top of the cliff.

They approach an archway carved into the mountain's face, and Clint mutters to himself.

"Really starting to regret my choice here," Clint said half-jokingly.

Natasha exhaled, a dry laugh escaping her lips despite the gravity of the situation. She didn't answer immediately, her mind racing. "Yeah. I'm going to bet the raccoon didn't have to climb a mountain."

"I don’t think technically he’s a raccoon..." Clint grinned.

"Whatever. He eats garbage." She cut him off. But as Clint spoke, Natasha's smile faded, her gaze distant as she took a few more steps, each one harder than the last. There was a tightness in her chest, a knot that grew with each breath.

For a moment, the mountain felt less like a physical challenge and more like an emotional one. Every part of her wanted to stop, to tell Clint it was not worth it, but she couldn’t. She couldn't. Suddenly, the sound of footsteps caught their attention. They turned, guns drawn, ready for a fight.

"I assure you, you have nothing to fear from me," The hooded figure affirmed.

"Creepy," Clint commented.

"Welcome, Natasha, daughter of Ivan." The hooded figure gestured to her. "Clint, son of Edith."

"Creepier." He murmured.

"Who are you?" Natasha asked.

"Consider me a guide. To you and to all who seek the Soul Stone."

Their journey ended here.

********

"If we don’t get the stone, billions of people are going to stay dead." She said firmly.

Clint’s face was grim, but there was no question in his eyes. He knew what was coming. He already knew what’s been weighing on both of them.

"Then I guess we both know who it has to be,"

There was a pause. A beat where emotion played all over their faces - pain, love, heartbreak. Natasha looked at Clint, and something on her face shifted.

"Yeah, I guess we do," She said.

"I'm starting to think we don't mean the same person," Clint tilted his chin. "Nicky needs a mother."

"And he'll have her," Natasha said. As Natasha began to pull away, her heart beating rapidly in her chest, something changed.

Suddenly, the world around them shuddered. A strange, heavy pressure filled the air, like reality was bending. Natasha stumbled, her eyes snapping around, searching for the source. The ground trembled.

Suddenly she was alone.

"You think this is the end of your choice? I think you’ll find... it’s just the beginning." Red Skull's voice played around her ominously. She searched for the source but couldn't find it.

"What the hell," She cried out.

Before she could process what was happening, the world shifted again. The landscape around her warped, colors bleeding into one another as if she'd stepped through a rift into another plane of existence. Natasha closed her eyes as a wave of nausea washed over her. She only listened to her breathing and her senses until her feet hit solid ground. She could hear the running of water. If she could guess, it was a stream or... a river.

"What is this place?" She asked as she blinked her eyes open. Red Skull stood before her. Natasha looked around, hoping to find her bearings, but nothing gave her the indication that she was still on Vormir or Earth. It seemed like a purgatory of sorts. Someone else's dream.

"You’ve come this far. But I think you deserve more than just a simple end. A choice so great—perhaps you should have the chance to reconsider." Red Skull explained.

"What do you want from me?" She demanded. "Where's Clint?"

"I offer you a choice—one you may not have considered. A way out. A chance to undo it all... in a different form." He ignored her questions, only causing more confusion.

"What’s your game, Skull? What are you talking about?" She stepped closer to him. "I swear to-"

"Mama?" A voice called. Natasha froze. Her heart skipped a beat, the world narrowing into a single point of focus. That voice. Her heart dropped and then soared all at once. She didn't understand how, but she knew exactly who it was. Her stomach churned.

She turned around, her eyes scanning the familiar landscape, and then there she was.

Stella was the same age as when the Snap happened. Natasha’s breath caught in her throat. Her hair was the same—soft, messy curls that fell around her face. Her eyes were just as bright as those vivid green eyes that Natasha had only seen in her dreams. The little girl looked up at her, pure joy in her expression, a smile that could light up the entire world.

"Hi, Mama," Stella grinned up at her. Her face was unchanged, frozen in time. She looked just as Natasha remembered. Still three. Still lost in a world that didn't seem to age her.

Natasha’s heart felt like it would shatter. She rushed toward her daughter, closing the distance in a heartbeat. She pulled Stella into her arms, holding her so tightly it almost hurt. Her eyes stung with tears she couldn't contain.

"I don’t... I don’t understand. How—how are you here? You... you’re—"

But before she could finish, Stella pulled back slightly, her little face furrowed with confusion.

"Where is Mommy?" She asked

"Oh God." Natasha choked back a sob. She wants to say something, but she doesn't have the words. It was too much.

"Why is Mommy not here?" Stella's confusion turned to frustration. "You said Mommy was coming." Stella directed her anger at the Red Skull.

"Stella..." Natasha began.

Natasha’s world tilted on its axis. She held Stella tighter, her mind racing. A thousand questions rushed through her thoughts. How was this possible? What was happening to her?

But the reality of her daughter, there—now—overpowered every rational thought. The warmth of her child’s embrace was a lifeline, pulling her away from the edge of the unknown.

"I'll find Mommy, don't worry," Natasha soothed the little girl. "We'll find her together."

She rubbed her daughter’s back, trying to keep herself from breaking down. Her emotions were a whirlwind—relief, pain, confusion. But something didn't feel right. Something was off.

"I offer you a choice." Red Skull interrupted their reunion. "Stay here, in this moment, with your daughter, forever trapped in the purgatory, or return to the world you know... in a different form. I can give you a new life, a new beginning—a second chance at everything. But there is a price, of course."

Natasha’s breath hitched. "What's the price? What happened to giving up a soul?"

"You will be reincarnated. Your soul, your essence, will live again in a new body. You’ll be free from the pain of this life and the burden of the past. But you will lose everything you know. You’ll forget this life, your memories, your loved ones—your daughter. You will be someone else."

"So either way, I'd die," Natasha guessed. She licked her lips nervously. "Either way, the people I love will lose me. How is this better than the other deal?"

"Not death, Natasha. Rebirth. A chance to begin again, free from the weight of your past. But yes, in this new life, you will forget. The pain, the grief... and the love. Your soul will live again, but it will be untethered, unburdened by the memories of this life. It will be a clean slate.

"So I get to live again but lose everything I ever cared about? I don’t even get to remember the people I’ve fought for, the ones I’ve sacrificed everything for. You’re telling me to give up my life again?" She shook her head. "I would forget her. I would forget all of them."

"You will gain something more valuable—freedom. You will be someone else, someone better, with no shackles. No more ghosts of the past, no more running. You will be given a chance to make a new path. But there is no turning back once you choose. Once your soul is reborn, it will not remember this moment. You will be free of the pain of your past... but also the joy of those moments, those people."

Natasha swallowed hard, her mind racing. The thought of losing everything she fought for—the memories, the bonds she’s built, especially with her daughter—twisted like a knife in her chest. But the idea of freedom and redemption tempted her in a way she couldn't ignore.

"And if I choose the other way? To stay here, to die for the stone... What’s the difference? Isn’t it all just... an end?" She said quietly to herself.

"The difference is that you remain as you are in this choice. You will stay in this moment, this world, and be trapped in it. Without her. A death without peace, a loss without redemption. The universe will continue without you."

A beat passed as Natasha processed the weight of his words. She wanted to scream, to demand more answers. She wanted to tear through this reality, but all she could do was stare at Stella, her little face looking at her with that innocent, trusting look. That face is the one thing that keeps pulling her heart in two directions—back toward this strange, illusory world where she can hold her daughter or forward toward an unknown fate, a second chance.

"Why would I choose freedom if it means losing everything that made me who I am? What’s the point of living again if I can’t remember why I fought so hard to be here in the first place?" She frowned. "Do they come back? Does Nicky get his mother and his sister?"

"The people you love will remember you. They will mourn you. They will grieve, but they will move on. They will find a way to live without you, and eventually, the wounds will heal. It will not be the same, but there will be peace, eventually."

"I don’t want to forget... I don’t want to forget her. I can’t." Her voice broke. She was crying now.

"You are not choosing to forget her. You are choosing to give her a future. A future where the world is saved, where the people you love have a chance to live. That is the sacrifice you make. The world needs you, Natasha Romanoff, more than your memories."

"And if I choose not to live again? What happens then?"

Red Skull’s gaze sharpened, his voice heavy with the finality of his words.

"Then you will die, and the universe will continue without you."

The reality of his words sank in, a heaviness weighing her down. She was faced with an impossible choice—die and have the possibility of everyone coming back or reincarnating with the same result.

Her fingers traced the outline of her wedding band, the cold metal a reminder of all she had lost.

"Why me?" She asked suddenly. Red Skull looked at her with something close to pity, though it was difficult to read on his stone-like face."Does everyone get this option?"

“No,” he replied, his voice cold but edged with something else—something ancient. “Not everyone. Only those whose actions have carried weight—those whose sacrifices have been… significant. You’ve walked a path of endless struggle. Death has followed you, yet you fight; you sacrifice, again and again, not just for others but for a purpose greater than yourself. It is rare to see such a soul. That is why I offer this choice to you.”

Natasha absorbed his words, her mind racing. Her life had always been a series of choices, but this… this was different. A chance to leave it all behind and be reborn, or to give everything, including herself, to save others.

Her thoughts drifted to Stella, still tucked in her arms, her innocent eyes full of love and trust. Could she really leave this behind? Could she live with the knowledge that the mother her children knew would never return to them?

“Why me?” Natasha repeated, her voice soft but unwavering. “Why offer this to me and not to someone else? There have been countless others who’ve given everything… so why now?”

Red Skull didn't answer immediately, the silence hanging heavily in the air.

Red Skull's gaze softened, just for a moment. “Because you are more than what you think yourself to be. You have been a weapon, a force of destruction, and a beacon of hope. You’ve fought against fate, against what you thought you were destined for. This is your moment to choose what you wish your legacy to be. Either way, you shape your own fate.”

Natasha stood still, her heart thundering. Red Skull waited for her decision. The silence hung heavy between them, thick with the moment's gravity.

Natasha swallowed, her hand tightening into a fist at her side. "And if I choose to leave? To reincarnate—what happens to them? To Clint, to my team… my daughter?"

"They will live," Red Skull said, his voice almost too calm, too sure. "They will carry on, their memories untouched. But you will be gone. Your place in the universe will be filled by someone else."

Natasha closed her eyes, the words weighing heavy on her. It was an impossible decision, one she couldn’t fathom.

"I can't," she whispered. "I can't choose."

"Mama," Stella questioned. It seemed she was waiting for an answer, too.

"I'm sorry," Natasha let the tears fall this time. "I'm so sorry, Solnyshko." She whimpered.

Red Skull looked at her, his expression almost sympathetic.

"It is not a choice, Natasha. It is a sacrifice. One you have already made."

"Okay, okay, I'm ready." Natasha breathed. "I'm sorry, baby." She kissed Stella's forehead. She could only hope you would forgive her.

*********

"It was supposed to be me. She sacrificed her life for that goddamn stone. She bet her life on it," Clint ranted. "She jumped, and one of us had to explain this to Nicky."

Thor and Banner exchanged puzzled glances. The tension in the room is thick; Clint’s grief is a raw wound, and their shared loss weighs on everyone. But this—this was something they hadn’t anticipated.

"Who is Nicky?" Bruce questioned.

Clint’s shoulders slumped as if the question's weight was too much. He took a shuddering breath, his gaze fixed on the floor.

“Nicky’s her son,” he finally said, his voice barely above a whisper. “Nat didn’t talk about him much… she didn’t want to endanger him. She kept him safe, hidden, but he’s… he’s still so young.”

“Are you telling us that Nat… that she left behind a child?” Bruce asked gently, his voice filled with concern.

Clint nodded, swallowing hard. “She did it for him, you know. She did it for all of us, for everyone that got snapped. But he was part of that, too. Part of the reason she…” He trailed off, unable to finish the thought.

Thor’s expression shifted from confusion to a deep, somber respect. “A mother’s sacrifice… to protect her child,” he murmured almost reverent.

"Children," Tony supplied.

"What?" Clint looked at Tony.

"There were two children. She had Stella," Tony reminded him. "It was for them. For her wife."

Clint glanced up, anger and anguish flashing in his eyes. “And now he’s alone. She’s gone, and he’s got no one.” His voice cracked as he stumbled over the words. “Who’s going to be there for him? Who’s going to tell him why his mom never came back?”

Bruce placed a comforting hand on Clint’s shoulder, his eyes sincere. “Then we’ll be there for him,” he promised. “If Natasha’s son needs family, he’s got us. Whatever he needs—support, protection, anything.”

Thor nodded firmly, the resolve clear in his gaze. “We owe her that much. And I’ll ensure he knows exactly who his mother was—a warrior, a hero. The bravest among us.”

That landed heavily among all of them.

*********

You'd been appalled when Happy suggested a joint funeral for Tony and Natasha. The idea left a bitter taste in your mouth. A funeral for Natasha—your Natasha—sounded absurd. She wasn’t gone. She couldn’t be. Not her.

You’d spent five years in limbo, caught between one breath and the next, with no awareness of the time passing. One moment, you were home in Missouri, watching your children play in the den, and the next… nothing. It wasn’t like sleep or even unconsciousness. It was as if you simply didn’t exist. And then, just as suddenly, you were back. But the world you returned to had shifted and moved forward in ways you couldn’t yet wrap your mind around.

Nicky had grown so much taller than you remembered. No longer the little boy you’d kissed goodnight, he was older now, with five years of life etched into his features, years you’d missed as his mother. The last time you saw him, he was just one year old, approaching his second birthday, which you'd planned together. Now, at eight, he was still small but no longer the toddler you had once held in your arms.

In some ways, he was a stranger, a person with a life outside your knowledge. You missed five years of his life.

And now, with no warning, the universe had ripped away the only constant in your life.

It didn't make sense. The universe had brought you back only to take her away. She couldn't be gone.

So you refused the funeral. It was a denial, an attempt to reject the reality thrust upon you. You didn’t need a funeral for someone who wasn't dead. She would come home. You wouldn't bury an empty casket.

And then you looked at your children—two pieces of your heart, tethering you to a reality you could hardly stand. You wanted to honor Natasha, for them, if nothing else. None of this made sense. None of it felt right. But you knew you had to push forward.

That morning, you dressed them with shaking hands, pausing often to steady yourself. Your eyes were bloodshot from a night spent wrestling with grief, exhaustion, and disbelief. You’d barely slept, remembering Natasha and the impossible circumstances that had brought you here. But for Nicky and Stella, you had to keep going.

They sat before you now in Tony’s lake house, their small, trusting faces watching you closely. Everyone else was waiting downstairs—the Avengers, friends from all over, people whose lives she had touched. But before you joined them, you needed this quiet moment with your children to prepare them for the hardest goodbye any of you had ever faced.

"It's time for us to say goodbye to Mama," You breathed. You took both of their hands and kissed each of them. "I know we don't want to. This is the last thing I want to do, but..."

Stella was staring at her feet, a sullen, pained look on her face.

"It's going to be hard. I'm gonna miss her, too," You told him. "But we're gonna get through it. We're gonna be okay."

You turned to Nicky. He was watching you, his face serious. He'd been quiet all morning, barely speaking. He'd lost both parents at different periods of his life. He didn't know what to make of the idea that this was his reality.

"Do you have questions?" You asked him. "About anything?"

"Is Mama... is she coming back?"

You took a deep breath. "No, Nicky. She's not."

He looked down at his shoes, his little eyebrows drawn together. You wanted to hold him and make the pain disappear, but you couldn't. He barely knew you. It would take more than the days you'd known each other for him to trust you. The Snap had taken that bond away from you.

"We'll always remember her. And she'll never forget us," You promised. "Okay?"

"Okay," he said softly.

You looked at Stella. She was probably so confused. You tugged at the skirt of her dress to get her attention.

"Baby, you alright?" You asked.

"Mama's not dead," She cried. "Why is Mama dead?"

Your heart broke into a million pieces.

"Oh, baby." You knelt and pulled her into a hug. "I'm so sorry. I wish she were here."

"Where is she?"

"She's in heaven. She's with Grandma and Pop-Pop. They're taking care of her."

"But why?" Her lip trembled. It was in that way that always broke your heart.

"The world was a very bad place, and she sacrificed herself to fix it. She was a hero. She saved everyone, including you and Nicky."

"But why does that mean Mama's gone? Why can't she stay?"

You tried to blink away the tears forming.

"Sometimes things happen, and there's no reason, no logic. Sometimes, people leave, and we can't understand why."

"I want Mama. I don't want her to go," Stella's eyes watered. "Please."

"I know, baby. I know. So do I. I'm so sorry."

Stella leaned her head against your chest, her body shaking as she cried. You ran your hand through her hair and held her close, willing your warmth to be enough for the both of you.

Neihter of you were ready but it was something you had to do.

*********

Walking out of the lake house behind Pepper, Morgan, and Peter felt overwhelmed. It felt so wrong. There was no way Natasha was gone. You wanted to turn and run, find a way out of this reality, this nightmare. You scanned the crowd, noticing familiar faces and others you'd only ever heard about through Natasha’s stories—a reminder of the secrecy you had kept to protect your family.

Clint and Laura met your eyes, offering quiet support, and you gave them a faint, shaky smile in return. Nicky clung tightly to your hand, his other hand holding a small bundle of Natasha’s favorite flowers. You adjusted Stella on your hip, feeling the weight of her tiny arms wrapped around you, grounding you in this surreal moment.

As you stepped closer to the water's edge, you noticed the questioning looks of some of the people gathered there. They didn’t know who you were; they didn’t know Natasha’s family had quietly existed all this time. Ignoring the stares, you focused on what you came here to do, offering Natasha this final act of love.

Pepper placed her flowers gently on the water, a quiet tribute to Tony. Then, with a soft nudge, you guided Nicky forward. He stepped up, his small fingers trembling as he let the flowers slip into the lake. Nicky's dog, Ollie, had darted out of the house and now pressed his nose against Nicky's hand, sensing the boy’s sadness.

"Goodbye, Tony," he said softly, his eyes shining with tears. "Goodbye, Mama."

Pepper reached for him and pulled him into a tight embrace. Then she did the same for you and Stella, her expression solemn.

"Bye, Tony," Stella murmured, her face pressed against your chest. "Bye-bye, Mama."

Stella didn't know him. She didn't have memories of Tony, but she felt compelled to follow in her brother's steps.

You listened as Pepper began speaking, sharing memories of Tony and words of remembrance. You held it together, swallowing back the ache in your chest as her voice wavered over the water. She looked at you when she finished, nodding gently—it was your turn.

Taking a deep breath, you stepped forward, holding Stella close, and faced the gathering.

"Natasha is..." You breathed. That wasn't right. "Natasha was my wife." You began. "She was a wife and a mother." You looked down at Nicky's proud eyes. "She loved harder than anyone I'd ever known. She was kind and strong and loyal."

You swallowed hard, blinking back the tears that were threatening to fall.

"But above all, she was brave. She was the bravest woman I'd ever met. And we will miss her. Every day. Every second. We will carry her memory with us." You sighed. "For eight long years, Natasha was my rock. Long before then, she was my everything. She gave me two beautiful children. Two amazing little humans who made every moment worth it. They remind me so much of her. A lot of you never knew about me. Never knew about us. It was better that way. Our own little secret. This family was something only we knew."

"But I'm telling you now because... If anyone needs to know about Natasha and how incredible she was, it's the people here. You knew her better than anyone. You've shared her battles, her victories. She was part of your family. So, for everyone who's not part of mine, let me share it with you. Let me tell you about her." You continued. You felt stronger the more you talked. "Having a person makes life easier to live. Having Natasha made my life so much better. She was the best thing that ever happened to me."

You felt a tear slide down your cheek. "Natasha and I didn't meet under ideal circumstances. She was a spy, and I was an Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. We worked together on missions. Eventually, those late nights turned into something more. I was lucky enough to know her as a teammate. Later, I got to see the other side of her, the one only a few people knew. She was a good person. One of the best."

Your eyes found Clint's, and he nodded in understanding. He was the one who'd first introduced you.

"It wasn't always easy. Life never is. There were times when it was difficult. Hard choices, difficult sacrifices. But she always made sure to make things right, no matter what it cost her."

You wiped away a stray tear and took a shuddering breath.

"We will never forget her. Not a day will go by when I don't think about her. Her sacrifice will be felt for generations." You sniffed. "I can't promise I won't spend every waking moment wishing she were here. Wishing I could kiss her or hold her or hear her voice one more time. I'll do whatever it takes to ensure our children never forget her. She deserved better. A long, happy life. A future with all of us."

The dam burst, and you held back a sob. Pepper's soothing hand rubbed your back. She felt this grief, too.

"But if there's one thing I've learned in my life, it's that sometimes things just don't go the way we plan. And that's okay. We'll figure out how to move forward without her. We'll carry her in our hearts and minds and keep living the best lives we can."

*********

It had been three weeks of slowly packing away Natasha’s life, boxing up memories and fragments of her identity. Clearing out her apartment felt surreal; each item you wrapped and labeled was a bittersweet reminder. The decision to move Nicky away from his childhood home had been hard, but you knew it was time for a fresh start, somewhere the kids could grow and heal.

At precisely 8 a.m., the moving truck pulled up, ready to transport everything to your new brownstone. Natasha’s SUV idled in the street as you trailed behind the movers, the last piece you had yet to part with. It wasn’t as if you needed it in New York, but something about selling it felt too final, like letting go of another piece of her.

You ran a hand along the dashboard, the smell of Natasha still lingering, even after all this time. Going back to Missouri felt even harder—that was the home you had chosen together. You’d have to make the trip eventually to pack it up, but the thought alone made your chest tighten.

Lost in thought, you were brought back to reality by a voice from the backseat.

“No, I’m the big sister!” Stella was arguing, her voice firm with a tiny pout on her face.

You turned around, a smile tugging at the corners of your mouth. “Stella, honey, you’re not the big sister anymore. Nicky’s older than you.”

Stella scrunched her nose in defiance. “But I feel like the big sister!”

You laughed softly. “I know, sweetie. But it doesn’t work that way.”

Before she could fire back with more questions, something outside caught her attention. “Look, Mama! Another moving truck!”

You saw the large truck parked halfway across the road, its bulk blocking your path. Irritated but resigned, you parked Natasha’s SUV and climbed out, hoping to get them to move just enough so you could pass.

"Excuse me, I have a m—" you started to say but stopped. Your breath caught in your throat, a jolt of electricity shooting down your spine.

The movers were busy unloading furniture and boxes into the back of the truck, oblivious to your sudden stillness. You watched them work, your heartbeat growing louder, filling your ears. As you approached, a woman stepped out beside the truck, brushing her hands off her jeans. She had blonde hair that shimmered in the sunlight and sharp green eyes that locked onto yours. There was something vaguely familiar about her, though you couldn’t quite place it.

“Hey there! Sorry about the truck blocking the way. I was just helping unload,” she said with a friendly smile. “I’m Kelly. Just moving in next door.”

You introduced yourself, feeling a slight tug of recognition but pushing it aside. “Nice to meet you, Kelly. We’re actually moving in too. Guess we’re going to be neighbors. Where are you moving from?"

"Nebraska," Kelly nodded. "I'm a doctor. I wanted a bit of change. For some reason, I felt drawn to New York, so now I'm here."

You gave her a tight smile, wondering why her voice sounded so familiar. "Well, welcome to the neighborhood. I hope you enjoy it here. We'd love to have you over for dinner once we get settled. "

Kelly's smile widened, her gaze turning almost hopeful. "I'd like that."

fin

[fanaticf1fan]

I - Back To The Past

A/N Hello, this is my first fanfiction. please be welcome to give any criticism to help me make my fanfiction better. :)

Also, this fanfiction ay not follow IRL timelines and Rules for the Formula series franchise.

Emilia Schumacher was born to Michael and Corinna Schumacher February 2006, from the moment she was born Emilia had been the apple of her family’s eyes. From the moment she was born the restlessness and need for adventure she undoubtedly inherited from her father. From a young age she was constantly following her older brother Mick around and bonding with her older sister Gina.

She was fortunate to spend a lot of time with her father during his brief, temporary retirement from 2006-2010. Due to this she had stuck herself to her father like glue, expressing her constant want to be exactly like him in any way she could.from a very young age she was set to follow in his footsteps, just like her brother.

When her father returned to racing in 2010 with Mercedes, Emilia was overwhelmed by new people surrounding her, her family now expanding into a grid full of fun uncles and aunts.

When she started Karting at 5 years old, she noticed a few oddities around the track. The first was the lack of other girls there, to the point she seemed to be the only one on the track. The second was the constant whispers and glances that other people had sent her and her family's way. The constant, nagging whispers of her peers doubted that loomed over shoulder everywhere she turned. Her father had sat her down one day and explained that she shouldn't listen to them after he found her crying one day after a meet, huddled under the table tucked into a ball.

“Don't listen to them Shatz, you are my daughter, I will be forever proud of you for whatever you accomplish, don't let anyone make you think any differently.”

When she was 7 her life was thrown into chaos, her father as she knew him was no longer with her or her siblings, he was now just an empty corpse-like shape, lying in a hospital bed relying on machines for life. She spent her 8th Birthday in the hospital sitting around his bed with her family, it had been the first birthday that her father hadn't gently held her as she woke up. There were no birthday pancakes or special songs this year. Just the sound of beeps, the smell of disinfectant and the feel of tears streaming down her face.

A few weeks after her birthday, she started karting again, now under the direct guidance and mentoring of one of father’s close friends, Sebastian Vettel. The two had began getting close after her father rejoined formula 1 with mercedes. He became an older brother figure to her and became her crutch when her father got injured.

She had achieved multiple victories under the mentoring of Sebastian, yet every time she stood on that ever important top step, trophy in her arms, her heart yearned for the one man she had been missing for months. Sebastian of course tried to help heal that hole in her heart, taking over quite a bit of the responsibility over her and her brother while they both competed. Mick and her had formed an inseparable bond, leaning on one another for support. 

Her father had been released from his prison coma in June 2014. She had expected her life to return to normal, however as she looked upon her father, she almost didn't recognise him. He was nothing like the person he was before, their relationship wasn't the same. This broke her heart so bad she decided to simply sink into the shadows of her childhood home.

She had risen through the ranks quickly, she was competing in levels above her age, spending most of her free time practising her skills to help her on the track. She won many races which angered many people but she didn't care. She was fueled with the memory of her father and what they used to be like, her biggest wish was to be just like him, and she was going to ensure she would get there.

By the time she had reached F4, she had gathered quite the ruckus in the media and on the circuit, she had multiple karting championships and wins and the number was only increasing, she had become a number one competitor for many of her fellow races. In 2021, after a well earned win in F4, she was approached by one of her father’s previous teammates, Nico Rosberg. He had kept in contact since the accident but the two hadn't spoken in a while. 

After a few months, Nico became another mentor for the girl, working well with Sebastian to help the girl progress and keep her managed. While Sebastian had stayed as her primary mentor, Nico took the role of her manager, organising deals and sponsors to ensure the girl only raced with the best of the best with the goal of helping her reach her life goal.

In 2022, she entered F3, winning the championship before being almost snatched up by F2 team Prema Racing the next year. Her brother had graduated the team two years prior before going into endurance racing, dominating the field. She had become good friends with her F2 teammate Oliver Bearman. She had begun helping him any way she could, attempting to meteor him the way she had been mentored for the past years.

She was ready to make her dream her reality, and she was so close to the first step in the next stage.

[kaythefloppa]

Wild Kratts - Bumblezzzz - Thoughts

This episode airs on TV tomorrow, but was released online in the PBS Kids Video App. So if you're planning on watching it on television, or unable to access the videp app, you may want to scroll off for spoilers

I was aware some bees come in blue (hi Martin). But GREEN???? The fuck?

The epitome of "waking up and choosing chaos."

I envy Chris's organized manner.

Bros went from Salamander Streaming to a Salamander Snack ☠️

This raises - so many questions and thoughts.

Apparently there is a "Villain Weekly" magazine that is sold in copies? I mean there's a Finding Your Inner Villain Seminar so I guess that tracks but... just how many people are stanning, supporting, and funding these villains who, I should specify, NEARLY FLATTENED THE AMAZON. You can't just... walk backwards from that without a serious career-and-possibly-life-ending PR disaster.

(Actually I just remembered that Elon Musk exists and has his share of supporters despite how awful he is to the point where it borders on cartoonish, which I guess kinda tracks here)

2. The magazine has a picture of Donita on it, which implies that it's about her. Why would Donita have a COPY of a magazine featuring her? Why would she have to buy it. Do I not know enough about advertisements in the magazine industry?

3. Why would Donita trust Zach with anything? ANYTHING? He regularly gets his inventory mangled by the enemy every week as a result of his own ineptitude and often steals whenever said inventory is too shitty for his own good. She really shouldn't be surprised that he forgot to give it back.

4. Donita canonically lives in New Hampshire. Zach lives in Massachusets. That is an hour and a half away just by driving. Even if Zach isn't by his mansion, still he could've just flown his plane over to Donita's mansion. Or if he was too lazy, he could've hired his bots to do so. Inversely, Donita could've just come and have the manequins collect.

5. DONITA THREATENING ZACH WITH MOB VIOLENCE BY SICCING DABIO ON HIM IF HE DOESN'T RETURN THE BOOK WHAT THE HELL???

I feel like I shouldn't be surprised. I mean, this is the same person who quite possibly forced Martin to undress and into new clothing whilst he was in suspended animation in her debut appearance (and also sicced Dabio onto him when he resisted), nearly drove lemurs to extinction all over a dress in the Season 3 finale, attempted to skin salamanders alive for a fire-proof suit in S5, and oh yeah, was instrumental in the attempted destruction of the Amazon Rainforest. But still, this was so out of nowhere, and the fact that Dabio smiles; (and remember, according to Season 3, his ancestors have been working with the Donatas for generations, so this shit was a family business) This one scene, if all others haven't, single handedly manage to show Donita and Dabio as arguably the most brutal, nasty, and vile villains. It's just one scene, but I see these guys in a pretty different light now.

Also, I mentioned this before. If she's willing to do all that previous stuff mentioned above for her own gain, if she's willing to do this to Zach over a petty book loan, what the heck is she gonna do to Paisley when she finds out about her betrayal? What's she gonna do to Rex if he eventually redeems himself?

As someone who has made it my legal obligation to analyze the timeline in Wild Kratts, I will definitely say that this episode takes place on June 20th, the first day of the summer season. That means absolutely nothing in the grand scheme of things.

I don't even think I should explain how terrible of an idea this is.

This is plain biology and a fact of life, but since they missed the opportunity to make a Bee Movie reference, I will take this as such as compensation.

Because I didn't say it earlier, I'll say it now: Bumblebees are so. Fucking. Cute.

AAAAAH!!!!!!!!!

Not enough screengrabs to convey this but the brothers are obviously trolling Zach here and I love it.

For all of you angst writers, here's some new ammo. Because I'm fairly certain that this can unoequivically KILL a human being if bumblebees were as big as us. In fact between this episode, and the next episode, Chimpanzee and Me, I'm convinced that the only reason Zach's robots are henchmen is so that the brothers can get away with being as violent as fuck towards them in so many beautifully creative ways without any actual bloodshed.

The fuck even is this episode 😭😭

CONCLUSION:

PROS:

The humor, once again, is amazing. It didn't get in as much laughs as the previous one, but still.

The Bumblebee Suit. It's such a breath of fresh air from the more uncanny looking Creature Power Suits in the modern seasons

Bumblebees are indeed highly endangered. It's good that this episode brings light on that and how important it is to protect them

CONS:

This entire episode's plot goes by... way too damn fast. Seeing the bros immediately get themselves into the jam, and then also immediately seeing Zach, and even the brothers quickly explaining bee features to Aviva. It all feels like this episode is just on fast-forward, even though it's a regular-length episode. It really could've been paced better.

Zach's motivations are stupid as ever, and he is at his peak bitchiness here. But again, the fact that such cartoonishly bullshit evil like this happens in the real world (which WK cleverly delivers a giant middle finger towards), and the fact that Zach gets his ass kicked for his genuinely awful plan mitigates a LOT of damage.

Final Ranking: 7/10. Still pretty good. I've been anticipating a Bumblebee episode for the past year after seeing leaks of a magazine featuring the Creature Power Suit, and it did not disappoint.

[phoenixeclipse-lmkau]

The Sun Family

Concept art

(A first sketch/drawing of the kiddos I've already designed. If you'd like to make the last one/two I will be making a series of polls for them. The tag shall be #sun cub)

Sun Bao

The oldest of the siblings, as well as the calmest. He is incredibly hard to anger and only gets angry when someone he cares for is in danger.

He was born a twin with Tao, during childbirth his mother (Reader) nearly died.

He has two lovers, one is a yandere while the other is a tsundere. He has been kidnapped by his yandere lover more than once, but she is unable to keep him down because he's too strong.

His powers mostly take after Wukong, with the exception of his six ears and his kaiju form. His kaiju, which is both powerful and slips in and out of shadows easily.

Loves his family and will do anything in order to protect them.

He will deck his dad in the face for being a prick.

He protects a merchant group and has become known as their escort and protector.

Sun Tao

Second child and twin to Bao

He is easily angered and will do anything to protect his loved ones

He loves working on machines and using tools to create things

He got a job as a mechanic and helps out a small merchant group that travels around (The same one Bao protects)

His powers mostly take after Macaque but personality wise he takes most after his dad

Sun Xiaotian

He was found by Wukong and Macaque after he hatched out of a stone on a stormy night.

They take him in and realise that he has both of their powers and is very powerful.

He is the first known Prince of Flower Fruit Mountain, until the twins are discovered.

He loves his parents but hates being stuck in one place.

He has a deep-seeded crush on Redson but doesn't realise its reciprocated.

He runs away without telling anyone and gets kidnapped by his new best friend.

He meets Reader and slowly begins to see her as a mother figure in his life

Mk: I never had a true mother figure before-

Reader: You can see me however you want

Mk: Thanks-

Mei: YAY! Mamabear's got another kid! Woo!

Reader and Mk: *Looks at each other and chuckles*

Reader: It looks like it doesn't it. See Mk, I told you everyone here cares about you. *Smiles softly*

Bai He

An orphaned girl who ran away from an abusive orphanage.

Terrified and alone she runs straight into two teenage monkey demons.

Bao and Tao beat up the men who were chasing after her.

After being saved she's taken to Reader who officially adopts her after a few days.

Bao and Tao adore their younger sister and she loves them too.

She loves her new mother and her auntie very much.

When she first meets her mom's husband they are really scary though.

Sun Meihua

The quietest of the family she is almost mute and her voice is usually rough from lack of use.

The only one of her siblings to 'die'. Scars litter her body but she doesn't care.

She gained her own immortal by breaking out of the Diyu on several occasions.

One of the ten King's sons actually falls in love with her

She loves reading and is very good at reading ancient texts without translations.

Sun Jing

The Time Breaker, given this nickname because she is able to see time and change the future.

Also because she had fallen into several alternate timelines and maybe fucked them up a little bit.

She did this with a powerful clock artifact, that brings one to the past and creates a new timeline to follow.

She is incredibly loyal to her mother.

She is able to see the past and hated her fathers for a while because she saw them capture her mother

She is energetic and loves sparing and fighting

Sun An

She doesn't like reading or studying and prefers to do things that are more active.

She is unable to control shadows and losses control of them easily, Meihua calms them down for her and keeps her stable.

The 'weakest sibling,' at first everyone thinks she didn't get powers from either of her dads.

Those who said this were right, but unknown to them, but she actually absorbs the chaos that is left within Reader.

She is powerful as the chaos mixed with the raw energy and power from her dad.

She nearly died the day she was born and scared her parents with how weak she was. She had to be constantly watched for the first while but powered through.

Can transport several people through the chaos at a time.

The whole family is shocked when three shadowy cubs emerge from Macaque's shadows.

Little Shades

Born from shadows Savage is the first of the shades to be 'born'

Macaque had been feeling sick for weeks, and his power had been on the fritz. Needless to say, after they emerge he realizes what had been going on.

Sun Savage

The most caring of the Shades willing to help others whenever they need.

He loves his parents all equally

He's generous and kind

He hates lies and makes a point to always be honest with those around him.

He doesn't get along with Rumble but would kill for him if need be.

Sun Rumble

He is an actor and an amazing one at that

He is very good at lying with the only one able to spot when he is being his Baba

He only cares about his family and no one else.

He loves potions and experimenting with different plants and herbs.

He has gained poisonous blood from how much poisonous plants he's consumed, he's also immune to poison and gases.

Sun Thunder

The youngest of the Shades.

He is extroverted and hates being alone

Surprisingly, he's really quiet, but he can be found hiding in his siblings' shadows.

He loves watching his fathers and siblings train and fight.

He loves to go hunting for the troop

He also loves to help his mother cook whenever she comes into the kitchen.

That's all the notes for now. I'd love to hear everyone's thoughts and remember I have a poll series coming up #Sun Cub to make the youngest child/children (either single or twins you'll ne deciding) hope to see you there!

@miifu666

@mehiwilldoitlater

@sleepingdramaqueen

@idiotwitch

[dancingtotuyo]

8. a cry of my heart to see

Woman | Joel Miller X Female Reader

Rating: Mature/Explicit

Chapter Summary: Tragedy strikes Jackson

Tags: Joel Miller X Female Reader. Age Gap (13/14 years). HBO Characters. Mostly cannon compliant for show & game. Timeline is changed.

Chapter Warnings: blood, medical care (probably bad I'm not a doctor tried to keep it brief and vague), Character Death, loss, grief, funeral, smut, P I V, cream pie, Oral sex (F receiving)

Notes: Shout out to my girl @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin for the beta read!

If you have checked out Before, I would encourage you to do so for more backstory on our dear reader!

Words: 3273

Series Masterlist | Author Masterlist | Playlist

THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS EXPLICIT CONTENT AND IS INTENDED FOR READERS 18 YEARS AND OLDER. MINORS PLEASE DO NOT INTERACT OR READ.

One Year Later 

He’s been out on patrol for days. They’re widening the perimeter and he’s on the initial team to do so. It’s nerve-wracking. You’re losing sleep. 

Maria tries to assure you they’re fine. No news is good news, but it falls on deaf ears. Her husband isn’t out there in unexplored areas. Joel is. Tommy tries to hide his worry. Despite both their assurances, you know they’re concerned. It’s risky.

For the most part, life goes on. Ellie has been staying in your guest room since Joel left. You thought she would look forward to having the house to herself, not that Joel doesn’t already spend the majority of nights at your house. You wonder if she fears the same thing you do. 

They’re supposed to be back in a week, but day 8 passes without sign of them. 

On the ninth day, one of the gate watchmen barrels into the clinic, causing you to knock over an entire bin of instruments you had just boiled. His eyes are wide, skin pale causing your stomach to drop. 

“What is it?”

“We just spotted them about a mile out. They’re down a rider. Another looks pretty banged up, can barely sit up in the saddle.” 

"Who?” You fight the urge to vomit. 

“We don’t know.”

“Go get Pooley.” The panic is setting in. You can’t do this. You can’t go into concerned girlfriend mode. Is that what you are? It doesn’t sound quite right. No, you need to be the medical professional you were taught to be. Calm, cool, collected like the professional you were on the UT Trauma team.

The man nods, rushing out of the clinic. You look around, pulling out everything you might need for easy access. You don’t know if he was mulled or shot or something else. This is hardly the first time something like this happened, but it’s the first time you haven’t been able to focus. 

It’s silly in hindsight, but you never worried quite like this over Gabe. He always promised to come back. He seemed so confident that he would that you’d bought into his confidence, and he always did until he didn’t. 

Once you’re convinced you’re set up enough to take care of the incoming injured, your feet carry you out toward the gate. It’s beautiful out today. The sun shines. Birds chirp and bees buzz. The kids play tag in the apple orchard, but it all feels like a bad dream like the world is moving in slow motion. There’s a ringing in your ears. 

The gate is just opening as the group draws closer. A small crowd has already formed, mostly the families of those sent out. You’re too far away to see out of the gate so you have to wait for them to file in. 

The first rider comes in. It’s not Joel. You can feel your grip on reality fading. You’re trying to stay. You have a job to do. Maria appears next to you as the second rider crosses in. She tugs you closer to the chaos, through the families waiting with bated breath. Two more. Not Joel. She brings you next to Dr. Pooley who waits ready to spring into action. People make room around you so you can tend to the injured as soon as they come in. 

Another pair cross into safety. John Lacy holds the reins of Adam Perkin’s horse as Adam hunches over in the saddle looking closer to death than life. John has them next to you within seconds, spewing the story of his injury to you and the doctor. You can’t pay attention, going on your tiptoes to catch sight of the last rider, but the horses block your view. The gate is closing now.

“Maria?” You look at her in desperation, pulled between the need to help and get status on Joel. 

She gives you a nod and dashes off to investigate further. 

Adam half rolls out of the saddle, in and out of consciousness before several strong sets of arms aid him to the ground. 

“Someone get the gurney!” A voice calls out as you fall to your knees beside the man. It’s your voice. Your body is taking over, but your brain is still elsewhere. The ringing in your ears grows louder. “Someone tell me what we’re looking at!” Your shaking hands rip the stained flannel and undershirt. They're already rags anyway. 

“Took a knife to the gut two days ago. Closed it up but it got infected and reopened on the way back,” John reports. 

“And you didn’t stop to close it back up?” You yell. 

“We had to drop the med bag.”

You groan in frustration. Dr. Pooley takes vital signs. Even in the haze you notice the signs that he’s over concentrating. His lips move to count Adams BPM and then he stops and starts over. 

“What do you have for me, Doc?” You’re desperate for help. Desperate for the old man to be able to do his job, but you see it in his face. He’s about to admit what you’ve assumed for months. 

“I don’t know,” he looks as lost as you feel right now, drowning in the panic of his own mortality. His own brain ceasing to work. You’ve seen the signs of dementia for months, and now the moment you need his help the most, he can’t think straight. You need his brain. You need to talk through this. 

“Gurney!” Someone yells, pushing toward you with the homemade gurney. It’s more of a litter you’d find in a medieval era movie, but it does the trick. 

They slam it to the ground, you don’t even have to let out the instructions before someone is counting and Adam is moved onto the stretcher. “Carefully!” You keep pressure on his wound, it’s definitely bleeding again. They must’ve missed something or it’s been bleeding internally all this time. Damnit! 

You’re almost to the clinic when you hear it, a life preserver in the raging ocean, Ellie’s voice. “JOEL!”

You turn to see her arms wrapped around his midsection, holding her as tight as she does to him. His eyes flicker to yours, and it’s like you snap back into your body with a thud, your mind crisp and clear. He smiles weakly your way and you can breathe again. 

You’re not sure how long it takes you. You’re pretty sure you’ve technically just performed a surgery you were in the room for once as a nurse 22 years ago. You probably missed most of the steps, but you know it was Adam’s only hope. Joyce Dobbins comes in with a poultice that’s supposed to help fight infection and “doctors him right up” as she likes to say. You don’t know enough to have an opinion. She’s the herbalist. 

You shower at the clinic, bones weary and eyelids drooping. Joyce knows enough to monitor him over night as does Rachel, Adam’s wife. 

You stumble home, the days events replaying on repeat in your head. The multiple times you thought you were going to lose Adam yet he somehow never faded. Lindsey’s never ending sobs from the backroom as she mourned Paul, you delivered their baby three years ago. Joel standing there giving you exactly what you needed so you could save a friend. 

Most of the time, it’s easy to ignore the dangers of the outside world while tucked within the walls of Jackson, your slice of normal in the world. Tonight is not one of them. 

You stumble up the porch stairs, anything but graceful as you cross the threshold. The house is quiet- no, peaceful. It’s an odd feeling compared to your raging mind. The house is clean, spotless. The orange glow of your living room lamp and the kitchen light warm you. Rumours spins in the corner, halfway through Songbird. You catch Joel in the kitchen wiping down the countertops. Your tea kettle whistles softly as he turns off the gas stove. 

“Joel…” your voice is hoarse. He spins around. He doesn’t smile, only walks toward you, pulling your limp frame into his as soon as he can. “I missed you,” you whisper. 

“I missed you too, Sweetheart.” His face burrows into the crook of your neck. 

“I thought…” you can’t finish the sentence without tears falling down your cheeks. He rocks you both softly. 

“Shhh, I know. I know.”

He kisses your head softly and then your lips. As much as you want to fall into bed, he forces you to eat something, drink the tea he’s brewed for you. You can barely sit upright, but you eat and drink and finally, he guides you upstairs, tucks you into bed, and curls up behind you. You fall asleep before he starts whispering sweet reassurances in your ear. 

You pull yourself out of bed earlier than you should. You have to go check in on Adam at the clinic. No news is good news. Anytime you’re not dragged out of bed after a day like yesterday, it’s a good thing. 

He’s not conscious but his fever is lower than it was when you left and that eases your worries some. Rachel doesn’t leave his bedside. 

Lindsey is in the backroom as they re- wrap Paul’s body. They’ll bury him today. He’s already been dead for three days. You take Lindsey’s hand without a word, standing solemn next to her. 

A hot tear marks your cheek as you watch Maria and Joyce diligently work. You were never awarded this luxury, could never gaze upon Gabe’s face one last time. Didn’t get to say goodbye. 

He has a tombstone in the cemetery. You don’t visit it often. He’s not there, his ashes spread to the wind now, rolling over the earth like invisible tumbleweeds. He probably likes that better anyway. 

The funeral is short, but all of Jackson crowds around for the service, to bury their fallen friend. Joel holds you close, arm wrapped around your waist. You lean heavy against him, gaining all your support from his frame. Carter and Ellie sit on the ground in front of you. 

When it’s time to lower Paul into the ground, Joel makes sure you’re steady on your feet before joining the rest of the patrol group. Adam is still unconscious in the clinic. They lower his body to the ground with precision that is too practiced. You wonder if he’s thinking of her, how he had to leave her body behind. He calls out her name at night sometimes. You know he’s reliving the night Sarah died. 

Lindsey’s cries start to pick up again. You slide onto the bench beside her, squeezing her hand tightly. Grace sits opposite you and Elaine stands behind. You don’t know Lindsey that well, but she’s joined your ranks now. Other women who have lost spouses close in around the grieving woman, a moment of solidarity. It’s a group that’s too large for your liking, too many lives taken. 

Joel holds your hand on the walk home. You keep walking, taking your path earlier than normal. You don’t speak, too many memories in your mind, too many emotions flooding your heart. 

You stop in at the clinic. Adam is in and out of consciousness. Joyce is giving him something for the pain. 

You cut your walk short, just one lap tonight. There’s a note on the door. Carter is at Maria and Tommy’s for a sleepover. You sigh in relief, thankful to not have to worry about another human being tonight.

Joel helps you out of your shoes. He helps you upstairs. His hands move slowly over you, half roaming, half massaging your weary muscles. He follows your collarbone and shucks the cardigan from your shoulders, frees you from your jeans leaving you in nothing but a tank top. It’s one of the few times his eyes don’t immediately land on your exposed crotch. He can’t help but chuckle at your commitment to not wearing underwear. 

Fingers delve into your tight calves. You let out a soft moan as you fall back into the mattress, sheets cool against your skin. 

Your eyes close, relishing in the feeling of him. This is the first real chance you’ve had to spend together since he got back. There’s nothing inherently sensual to his movements and the way he touches you, but your body heats in response, craving the connection, the assurance. 

The air shifts as your breath hitches. His fingers crawl up your legs leaving tiny trails of fire as he presses a kiss to each of your calves. Desire begins to burn in your body, slow and hot. “Joel…” You moan, legs falling open. 

“I know, Sweetheart,” He feels it too, voice low and thick as his eyes darken. “I know.”

Your hands tangle in his curls as he takes his time covering your thighs in kisses, swiping his tongue over your skin from time to time. “I’m here,” he says again. “I’m gonna take care of you.”

There’s no rush to the finish line, neither of you have the energy for that tonight. It’s slow, languid like a hike up a steep cliff as his mouth slowly greets your slick cunt, his tongue runs through your folds at a steady pace over and over and over and over. He’s pulling you closer to the edge, taking his time until finally, you cry out arching into his mouth, spilling more of yourself onto his tongue. 

He pulls away, chin glistening in your soft bedroom light, proud smile on his lips. “That’s my girl.” 

You whimper in response, hands traveling up his forearms. His calloused palms roam over your thighs and hip, fingers drawing soft patterns across your skin. 

Leading with his lips, he makes his way up your sternum. Not a drop of urgency in his body, he eases up your tank top. It’s like he has all the time in the world. You wish for all the time in the world as long as you get to spend it with him. 

Finally, his lips meet yours. You taste yourself on his lips as he pushes his tongue into your mouth. Your hands wander his shoulder and neck, your fingers glide through his hair again. Nails rake down his back. At some point he shed his shirt and pants, leaving him bare against you. 

“Lay on your back,” you say.

He pulls back slowly, eyebrows raised. “What are you thinking about?”

“Having you on your back.”

He chuckles, warm arms wrapping around your middle as he rolls over. You brace yourself on your knees. His hard cock presses against your thigh. You run it through your folds. Joel lets out a soft moan as his eyes glaze with lust. “Fuck, Sweetheart. Let me in there.”

“Patience,” you chide, but have no intention of keeping him waiting for long. 

You nudge his dick against your clit, sending sparks through your veins until you center your opening over him. He holds your hips as you slowly sink onto him. You stretch around him, filling you so completely. Once you’ve taken him to the hilt, you sit there, eyes focused on each other exchanging soft pants. 

Your cunt clenches around him, pulling moans from both of you, but you don’t move, hands finding purchase against his soft stomach, thumb running through his dark happy trail. The two of you bask in the feeling of your skin against the other’s, desperate for the certainty that you’re alive and breathing, that the blur you’re living in is reality and you still have each other. 

He cups your cheek, thumb brushing over your bottom lip. Your teeth scrape against it. Then you lift up just a little bit, keeping him mostly inside you before you sink back down. You keep the slow pace as you ease up and down, increasing the distance a little more each time.

 Joel’s eyes never move from you, sometimes meeting yours and other times appreciating your naked form above him. His hand trails down your torso, finding the wet heat of your core. He finds your clit with the precision only granted by his familiarity with your body. He has you memorized, every single inch of you. 

You let out a sharp gasp when he touches you. He holds his thumb steady against you, letting your movements drag his thumb across your clit. You clench around him and he groans. Up and down, your hands perched on his hairy chest, nails biting into his pecs.

 As you draw nearer to the peak, Joel starts to meet you, hitting a different angle inside of you. You let out a long moan, head tipping backward. Then you reach the crest, cunt milking his cock, coming undone on top of him. 

Sweat beads along Joel's forehead as your dripping pussy flutters around him. He’s not far behind you, filling you with his spend. The feel of him inside you, coating you, causes another breathy moan to leave your lips. 

“Fuck, Sweetheart.” He pants, pulling you down beside him, sweaty skin flush against his. 

You smile softly at him, brushing the curl in front of his forehead back. He kisses your palm. You should feel guilty for enjoying Joel’s comforts, his warm skin against yours when Lindsey lays in an empty bed across the way, but all you feel is relief. You’re grateful to be spared heartache for once. 

Eventually, Joel rolls out of bed, returning with a warm washcloth to clean up the mess he left behind. You’ve pulled on his white tshirt. You don’t say a word, just stare at him in the lamp light. He’s beautiful, a gentle giant, and he’s yours. 

When he crawls back beside you, he looks at you like he reads every thought in your mind, kisses your forehead, and turns out the lamp. You turn on your side. He spoons you, arm thrown over your waist. 

His soft snores start to play in your ears. The crease in his forehead is nonexistent with sleep as you look over your shoulder. Then, it hits you. You’re happy here with him despite the last 48 hours. It feels wrong, like you cheated death. You just hope it doesn’t come back to collect double, but you’re so damn happy. Joel Miller has permeated every single fiber of your being. 

You’ve known this, but now, you accept it. Your muscles tense with it. It’s not enough to send you spiraling by any means, but you fought it for so long, you’re not sure how to proceed. You could tell him now, wake him up and finally let the words slip off your tongue. More tension gathers between your shoulders. 

Joel mumbles, tightening his grip around you as he pulls you flush against him. He kisses your shoulder. 

“Don’t start with that.” Sleep coats his voice. You wonder how he’s so in tune with you even in sleep he can feel the tension. 

“Don’t think it works like that.”

He hums, squeezing you again. His lips press between your shoulder blades, beard brushing against your skin sweeping the tension away, pulling the thoughts from your head. 

He chuckles as you sink into him. “You sure about that.”

You reach behind you. Your nails rake over his thigh, just above his knee until you find your target. You pluck one of his leg hairs with a practiced precision. 

“Ow! Not nice!”

You laugh, burrowing into your pillow. “Go to sleep, old man.”

“Goodnight, Sweetheart.” He kisses your cheek, holding you so close your brain can’t think of anything but his solid frame at your back. 

[zeldaelmo]

I wrote a lot of Christmas and winter-themed stories over the past few years, so I thought I'd make a list for everyone who wants to get in the mood or just needs something to read during the holidays.

Modern AU

Flour, Water, Salt, Yeast, Love - As a regular in Link's bakery, Zelda asks him for a favor for Hylia's day. A mistake leads to them fake-dating until at the end of the holidays neither of them knows what is fake and what is real anymore. (25 chapters)

One Stitch at a Time - Zelda is taking over the fabric store from her mother and struggles to balance traditions, new ideas, and financial problems. The last thing she needs in her sewing class is a guy who disagrees with her every word and threatens to ruin her favorite time of the year: Christmas. (24 chapters)

A Rare Find - Link tries to catch a rare Korok that only appears when it rains. He finds a cute girl instead who happens to be in need of a fake boyfriend to impress her ex.

The Thing with the Matching Christmas Sweaters - Zelda realizes at the last minute that her father bought the same Christmas sweater that she and Link have planned to wear on their engagement announcing pictures. Link... has his own solution to this problem.

link_inofficial_23 - Link keeps blogging about Princess Zelda's and his life as new parents. PR is not amused.

One Night in December - Link regrets all his life decisions when he agrees to watching Hallmark movies with his long-term crush Zelda and she picks one about old friends getting together. Of all things...

Believe - A down on his luck Link accidentally prays to a long forgotten goddess and sets things in motion he isn't prepared for.

AoC/BotW

The Art of Now - A little AU where Link really is just a random soldier like at the beginning of Age of Calamity.

Of Pines and Pining - Zelda is forced to join the Champions and Sheikah to decorate the Great Hall for Hylia's Day. Of course, Link does it all wrong: chaotic and messy. But then, Zelda gets carried away and accuses him of being a messy kisser and everything only gets even more chaotic from there.

Sneaky Snow Attack - Link is on guard duty for once and discovers an intruder he doesn't mind so much. Well, before the snowball hit him, obviously.

Dismissed - Just before his first home leave after the Calamity, Link learns that Zelda has dismissed him as her appointed knight for personal reasons. He's confused and sad and the very last thing he needs is his family getting on his nerves about it.

Twilight Princess

Close Enough - The one mistletoe story without a single mistletoe around.

Fairy Magic - Zelda overworks herself before Christmas and Link decides she needs a break.

Ocarina of Time

It may be winter outside (but in my heart it's spring) - Impa sneaks Link and Zelda out to have some fun in the snow. A winterly snapshot set in the child timeline.

General LoZ AU

The Pen Pal Plan - Princess Zelda is sick of being wooed for her beauty and nothing else, so when it's time to pick a suitor, she develops a plan. All suitors who want to court her must engage in a pen pal ship with her so that they can get to know each other without the eyes of the court on them.

After a year, the time has come to meet the most promising candidates at the winter fair and make her choice, but she quickly realizes, that her "Pen Pal Plan" has some pitfalls she hasn't anticipated and chaos ensues. It would be a shame if she missed the meeting with her favorite candidate of all things! At least the kind, blue-eyed guard is still there to help her reach the last date in time...

Merry Christmas and enjoy!

💞 Zelmo

[blueaprondelight]

promise me? | carmen berzatto

rating: | cw: mentions of mikey’s death/funeral, a few timeskips, afab/fem!reader, angst/fluff content, unfinished ending i guess (i’m so down to write a part two if yall ask for it tbh)

nav post

request: “a more angsty idea would be that reader was dating Michael and no one knew she was pregnant when he died… so in order to avoid making their family sad/starting conflict, carmy agrees to pretend that they’re dating and it’s his kid? “

Since the funeral four months ago, your world had felt.. emptier.

Michael Berzatto was your everything. He was the boy in high school who threw rocks at your window, who climbed inside to make out with you on your bed until he fell asleep holding you close, only sneaking out to avoid your parents learning about his visits.

He was the guy who would make a big deal out of every small accomplishment. He was the person who you planned on spending the rest of your life with.

That was until everything happened. One phone call from the Chicago Police Department, and your entire view of the future had been shifted. There was one less person in it.

You didn’t talk to his family much anymore. His younger brother, Carmen, was the only person you really kept in touch with. You called Sugar every so often, and you’d send Donna a check-in text every week or so.

You knew Carmy was in New York, and he hadn’t come to the funeral. You weren’t expecting to see him again until he showed up on your doorstep.

The one thing he wasn’t expecting? You to open the door, tears in your eyes and a pregnancy test in your clenched hand.

“Hey, are you okay?” is the first thing Carmen says. He wraps his arms around you, trying to soothe you in anyway he can. A slight head shake from you and you taking a step back, holding the test out for him to see.

“I’m pregnant. The one person I should be able to tell.. isn’t fucking here.” Your soft voice breaks his heart. It’s the rush of realization that comes first.

The fact that, you’re pregnant with Mikey’s baby.

And Mikey is dead.

“Y/N, we can.. we’ll figure this out.” He promises in a whisper, and you shake your head, more tears streaming. “How?! How am I supposed to do this by myself?” You ask, and you fall into Carmen’s arms, crying on his shoulder. He could care less about the tear stains on his white tee.

If Mikey were here, if there was a way to talk to his dead brother right now, he know what he’d say: “take care of her. Take care of my baby for me.”

“You aren’t alone. You have me.” He swears.

It’s what his brother would want.

“Promise me?” You request quietly. And he nods, rubbing your back in soothing circles.

“I promise.” He repeats.

──

You knew bringing up the pregnancy to Mikey’s family would be.. rough. Sugar and Donna would be upset, with Donna resenting every choice you make.

It would be chaos. So, you kept it a secret, which was harder than it seemed.

You and Carmen had it planned out. To start “dating” two months later, and lie about the timeline of your pregnancy. No one had to know other than you two.

You and Carmen announced your pregnancy to the Berzatto clan three months later, seven months after Mikey died. All of it felt rushed and you found yourself having to force yourself to slow down.

Thankfully, though, Carmen was by your side through it all. Moving in with you and helping set up the nursery, which you made sure to send photos of to Natalie and Donna.

You were there for him when he took over the Beef. It was a while before you found the strength to go back there again, reminiscing on the times you spent in there with Mikey. Him flirting with you as you volunteered your time behind the counter.

Once you had, you found yourself in the same spot you were nearly a year ago. Laughing with Tina and Marcus, threatning jerks with Richie. Even making friends with the new chef, Sydney.

Carmen thought it was good for you. He found himself smiling in the back office as he heard your familiar, light laughter and calming voice.

“You were deeply missed!” Marcus says as he hugs you while you laugh. “So, how’s pregnancy going?” Tina asks as you sigh. “It is a bitch sometimes. But this little one will be worth it.”

“Can I just say.. thank you for bringing a smile to my brother’s face. Seriously. He hasn’t been this happy in a while.” Natalie says as you nod. “It isn’t just me. You guys play a huge part in that.”

“Yeah kid but none of us are having his baby.” Marcus points out. “I should hope not.” You reply, and that’s when the kitchen fills with laughter.

It felt like you were at home again. Carmen wasn’t the only one smiling again.

──

You stood in the nursery, your bump larger. It felt surreal to believe how far you’d come.

You were in your third trimester, 38 weeks pregnant. The nursery looked gorgeous, with a shelf close to the door holding photos from the maternity photoshoot you and Carmen did as well as sonograms pictures.

You wanted to memorialize Mikey in the room as well. A frame sits on the shelf near the sonogram, containing a photo of Natalie, Carmen and Mikey as kids.

You run a hand over Mikey’s spot in the photo, shaking your head and setting it on the shelf. “I remember the day that photo was taken. Mike hated that shirt. That was the only good photo that our mom decided to keep.” Natalie says, entering the room with a glass of water for you.

You accept it, only to nearly drop the glass when a tightening in your stomach forms. It’s at that moment you realize - your water broke, you’re having contractions and.. you’re in labor.

It’s a frenzy from there. Everything feels like it’s moving in slow motion. You waddling-running out to the car, Natalie following behind with the bags while you begin calling Carmen’s phone repeatedly. Time feels like it’s slowed.

It isn’t until you’re at Chicago Medical and being wheeled down the hallway to your labor and delivery room that you realize two things:

1. You’re actually having this baby.

2. Mikey won’t be here to see it.

Some part of you, the part that hasn’t been hitten by the grief yet and the same part that won’t accept he’s gone, is now being hit with the grief. The realization he won’t just come into the room and come back into the room or your life again. It doesn’t rush over you, it drowns you instead.

Maybe it was just the pregnancy excitement and rush. Things hadn’t felt real since the funeral and now? Now they were forcing themselves to be accepted. Forcing you to realize that this is occuring.

It isn’t until you’re alone in the room that you allow the tears to break free. Your vision feels blurred as your heart aches for a man whose gone. One who isn’t here anymore and you can’t change that.

The sight that Carmy finds in the hospital room hurts his heart. It’s quiet, the beeping of monitors that are keeping an eye on your vitals, the baby’s vitals, contractions is the only noise filling the room. You’re seated upright, your eyes exhausted.

“Hi. How are you?” He asks softly as he walks over. He hesitantely puts a hand on your face to brush some of the hair away, and you allow it. You sigh, your face relaxing when he cradles your face like you’re the most precious thing.

“It hit me.” You say softly. “I let myself grieve for a week before his funeral, and then at least three afterward. And then I found out I was pregnant and I bottled it up because I couldn’t do it anymore. And now it hit me again. That I’m having his baby and he’s not going to get to meet him, or her.” Your fists clench at the anger of it.

There are five known stages of grief. Denial, anger, barganing, depression and acceptance. You were on the second stage: anger.

There’s nothing Carmen can say. No words to make it all better, he knows that from his own experience and people trying with him. So, instead, he stays quiet and he lets you get it out.

You exhale, laying back with his help as he props a pillow for you. “Thank you for being here.” You say softly as he takes your hand in his, entertwining your fingers. “I made a promise to be here with you through all of this.”

He intends to keep that promise.

──

‘Roan Michael Berzatto’. Eight pounds, six ounces. Born at 11:37 AM.

Most of the labor process felt like a blur. You remember crying, a lot, and Carmen holding your hand and letting you squeeze while you push, doctors and nurses overlapping each other as they speak to you. Sweat pooling on your forehead as a nurse wiped it away.

Roan looks like Mikey. He has his eyes, his nose, even the same small smile when he sleeps. It’s faint, but it’s there.

His entire hand wraps around Carmen’s pinky while he holds him. There’s a warm aura in the room, the sunlight filling the room perfectly.

You sit, watching them. Carmy walks over and sits beside you on the bed while he puts your son on his legs, as you look down at him. “He really does look like Mike.” You say softly, and Carmen laughs.

There’s a quiet in the air before he speaks again. “I love you.” He says softly. “I know maybe this isn’t the right time to tell you that, but I had to. We agreed to tell everyone this is our son and I want to keep that up, but I want more for us. I want you and I to.. be something more.”

You don’t say anything more, instead you lean over and press your lips against his, letting yourself embrace him. To take in what it feels like to kiss him, be this close to him.

Your world was suddenly full again.

[five-hargreeves-marvel-fan-25]

New Timeline, New Life (Same Family in Chaos)

Chapter One:

Sloane woke up with a headache. 

Number 5 (different timeline)

“Sloane”

A terrible one. One moment she was having life sucked out of her the next…nooo Dad. He has traded his existence for his dead wife. One thought went through her head. Find Luther. She heard a groan next to her. There was a waking body on the ground. 

“Vanya?” He grumbled. He looked up.

“Who the hell are you?” The man said, scrambling back away from Sloane. He might have not known her but she knew him.

“Ben?” She said shocked.

“Yeah. Who are you? Where’s my family? Vanya? And why the hell can you see me. Holy shit I’m not dead?” Ben said a bunch of words like crazy.

“You don’t know me? Who’s Vanya,” 

“No, I don't know you. Vanya is my sister,” 

“Look, Ben, I'm Sloane. Wow this is weird introducing myself to my brother,” she laughed.

“Yeah I don’t think so. I would have remembered you. You definitely weren’t at the Umbrella Academy,” Ben laughed.

“Wait your an Umbrella,”

“Yeah,”

“Oh I get it now. Your Ben-“

Number 6

“Ben”

“Yeah you have said that a bunch,”

“No like Luther and his siblings, their Ben. The one that died and then moved on,”

“Well that’s what I thought,”

“Wait then who Vanya? Can you describe to me,”

“Umm young, quiet sibling. Short. Brown hair. Ended the world twice,” Ben explained.

“Oh Viktor,” Sloane asked.

“Vanya goes by Viktor now?” Ben asked, confused.

“Yeah yeah. She also goes by he now,” Sloane added.

“Okie. Anything else I should know about my family?” 

“Umm Luther is married now,” Sloane smiled.

“Please don’t say Allison,” Ben said.

“What no,” Sloane asked, confused. Weren’t Allison and Luther siblings? Of course they were.

“Then who?” Ben asked, confused. Sloane smiled. Ben smiled back.

“Congrats,” Ben smiled. 

“Thanks. Also Diego and Lila are pregnant,” Sloane said.

“I'm pretty sure Diego can’t get pregnant,” Ben joked.

“Yeah well…” Sloane laughed.

“Do you know where my family is?”

“No,”

“Well let’s at least find out what year it is. That might help us,” Ben nodded. He found a newspaper from the morning.

”Welp. There you have it,” Ben said, handing it to Sloane. 

“2025?” She shocked, “It felt like 2019 just a few minutes ago,”

“Doing a lot better than me. I feel like I’m still in 1963,”

Sloane gave him a confused look.

“In order for the world not to end the first time. Five blinked up back in time. Klaus got stuck in 1960 there for I also did. We both lived there for three years until again the world was gonna end and I moved on,”

“Right because Luther said something about working for the mob,” Sloane nodded. 

“The world normally doesn’t last for long anymore. We should find my siblings to figure out what’s going on this time,” Ben said.

“Yeah the Kugelblitz was not fun,” Slone muttered .

“A what?”

“A reverse black hole. Sucking all life into it. The end of the world,” 

“And Viktor has nothing to do with that?” 

“Well yes and no. Your siblings coming back to 2019 which was a totally different timeline because dad- Reginald adopted a completely different set of kids,”

“Well shit,” Ben muttered, “we really gotta find my siblings,” 

“And I have to find Luther,”

“You try to find Luther, Diego and Allison. I’ll find Klaus, Five and Viktor?” Ben suggested.

“That works. How though?”

“Tv stations. Yellow papers, city records,”

“You seem used this,”

“Unfortunately,”

“Wait why would they been on tv,”

“Diego for a fact I know couldn’t help but get himself in a little trouble,” Ben said.

“Oh,” 

“Let’s start searching,”

-o0o-

“Now kid listen without the moon. The whole world would turn into an apocalypse. The tides alone would kill as,” The man said. 

Number 1

“Luther”

A girl raised her hand.

“Yes,”

“Well how would the moon be gone?”

“Excellent question. Scientists aren’t sure yet but we are working to find out,” Luther smiled.

“I think that all the time we have for now. Say thanks to Mr. Sparrow every one,” the teacher said.

“Thank you,” the class said before leaving.

“Cute kids,” the scientist next to Luther said next to him.

“Yeah,”

“Luther you should go home,”

“Why? I’m fine here,” Luther said.

“No you're not. You think I didn’t notice it’s the anniversary of Sloane’s death. You don’t need to be here. Find a way to honor her today,” 

“I need to be here bud,”

“I’m telling you do go home Luther,”

“Fine”

Luther stood outside a building, a flyer in hand that he had gotten from work. He couldn’t go home not today because of many painful and happy memories there.

He walked in. So many people had suggested a grief group but he hadn’t actually done it.

“Hi I’m Luther,” he said.

“Hi Luther,” everyone said.

“My friends have been telling me to come here for awhile now and I have been coming here,” Luther said.

“Luther the important thing is that you had the strength to home here now. Could you tell us why your here?” The director of this group asked.

“My wife Sloane. She died six years ago today. And well I don’t know what todo,” 

“I’m so sorry for your loss. What we do here is share the happy memories about our loved ones and know that they are in a better place. Could you tell me about Sloane?”

“She was a light to everyone that met her. Being with her was like flying. She had a big family that mostly welcomed me with open arms,”

“Mostly?”

“One of her brothers wasn’t a huge fan of mine. One thing has was unusual about our marriage was that I took her last name. I didn’t have a great relationship with my dad and I didn’t want to bring her into that,” 

The director talked to Luther some more and then it was another person's turn. After the group Luther walked by two guys one wearing a polo that indicates that he worked in the building the other was wearing a jean jacket with fur lining. Luther kept walking.

-o0o-

The two watched as a big blond man walked past looking sad.

“Klaus is he in your group?” The man in a Jean jacket asked.

Number 7

“Viktor”

“Vic man, I don't know everyone who passes through. You know I only direct the one of families of service members and the recovering drug and alcohol addicts,”

Number 4

“Klaus”

“Just messing with you Klaus,”

“Yeah Viktor. And who is the one going through girls faster than I used to go through crack?” Klaus said.

“Man not fair,”

“I’m just saying focus on one girl,”

“What do you think I’ve been trying to do?” Viktor huffed.

“Well the local theater is performing Hamilton you wanna go. Tickets are going fast,” Klaus smiled.

“Sorry but my bar need some much help at the moment,” Viktor grumbled.

“I can help,”

“Klaus you have been sober for over a year,”

“Just because I’m in a bar does not mean I need to drink Viko,”

“Okay. I just don’t want to be the reason you fall off the wagon,”

“You never were,”

“I know. I know. But you’ve made so much progress Klaus,” 

“Now you're being sappy about it,” Klaus grumbled.

“I am and always will be. That’s is why we are friends,” 

“Bye Viktor. Good luck with your bar thing. Don’t get into any fights,” Klaus called after his friend. Another friend in a polo shirt who worked at the building grabbed Klaus.

“What what?”

“You need to see the news,” 

“I prefer not. It’s depressing that everyone is dying. I know our sitting got crime. I don't need to be reminded over and over again,”

“Your going to want to see this though,”

“Fine,”

Klaus’ friend turned on the TV. A news reporter stood in front of a crime scene that had about a dozen bodies. Then the camera panned out and you saw eight other men died. 

“Investigators believe that this is gang related. There were about 15 dead, all from the Wenside gang. It seems like there were two weapons used in this massacre. An axe and gun. The gun, one of the cops believes is a match to other cases that have happened in the past year. We'll update you with more,” the news reporter said.  Klaus turned off the tv.

“The hell man. Why did you show me this,” 

“Weren’t you like two buildings down from there at that bar if your friends?”

“Yeah so. I hope you don’t think I did that,”

“No, of course not Klaus. Just thought you might have seen something. We need to get the person who is doing this off the streets,”

“Duh,” 

-o0o-

“Where’s Allison! She’s going to miss her cue!” The director yelled. 

“I’m coming. Marsha had a problem with the corset,” Allison said, running on stage with a pink dress on.

Number 3

“Allison”

“People are excited for Hamilton. I do not want to mess with Allison. Angela needs to be right,”

“I know that. Can you please stop being a pain in the ass for a minute,” 

“Let’s get this mic check done!”

Allison huffed picking up her dress and walked over to the other cast

-o0o-

“Diego!” A woman yelled with three kids near her. 

No Number

“Lila”

“Mummy? What's going on with dad?” Kenny asked. 

“He’s a bit busy. DIEGO HURRY YOUR ASS UP!” Lila yelled.

“Okay. Okay. Watch your month around the kids,” the man said coming down the stairs.

Number 2

“Diego”

“Gracie, dad's going to pick you up from school today,” Lila said.

“Okay,�� Gracie smiled. 

“I’ll drop her off at home with the babysitter and the I have to get back to work. I’ve gotta work over time there was a mass murder down town. Crazy shit”

“Shit,” John laughed. Kenny giggled too next to his twin. 

“Don’t say that,” Diego corrected.

“I find it funny that the kids never pick on my cussing. Just yours,” 

“Yeah yeah. Don’t let the kids be late to school,”

Diego called.

“Let’s go kiddos,” Lila said, pushing all three kids outside.

“Love you,” Lila calls out to Diego.

“Love you,” Diego repeats. 

-o0o-

He sat there drinking coffee and checking one of his guns. He stuffed some weopons in his bag. 

Number 5

“Five”

And turned on the news.

“The murder of this massacre-“ the reporter said.

“Can’t believe that they found the bodies that quick.” He said, drinking his coffee. He checked his watch.

“I’ve gotta get going,” he called. 

“Wait wait,” a woman called, running to the front door to stop Five.

No Number

“Delores”

“I love you,” Five said, kissing her.

“I love you too,” Delores smiled. She looked at the coffee cup in his hand. “Hey you said you were cutting back on coffee,” 

“I need coffee in order to deal with the shit head Diego. If he at all  comes near me in that detective way he does I’ll kill him,” Five said.

“Hey. Be nice at work okay,” she said.

“Okay. You have a good day,” Five said opening the door. 

“You too,” 

** Hey it’s me! Umm I will post chapter two as soon as I finish. I didn’t like how Umbrella Academy season 4 ended just like every fan. So I decided to add one more season that we all needed. If anyone knows how to add chapter to this post please let me know.

thanks,

[cucuxumusu]

⌛Isekai Jason AU ⏳

He comes back to Gotham, and as he intends, he manages to kill Joker and then Batman, completing his ultimate revenge. But then everything goes wrong. Gotham becomes even more horrible without the bat protecting it and crimes goes rampage in the streets, half the family dies in the conflicts (Tim, Steph…), Damian goes back to the league following Talia’s orders, and Dick, half crazed after having lost everything he holds dear, ends up crossing the line and killing Jason because he blames him for everything that has happened. 

This time, when Jason opens his eyes after dying for the second time, he realizes he has gone back in time for a year, to when he first arrived in Gotham, before he killed Joker and Bruce, and before chaos started. He promises himself right then and there not to repeat the same mistakes this time. 

He still kills Joker again because he deserves it, and the world is better without him, but he leaves Bruce alone. He can't forgive the old man, but he can ignore him if it means Gotham and the family get to live. And this time the city actually gets better. Without the Joker, and with the other crime lords now terrified of him, crime actually goes down. Everything feels better this time, even Batman stops pestering him for a while for what he had done, and ignores him back. However, with his identity now revealed to the family, there is a new problem he has to face: The birds keep stalking him. 

At first it is subtle, just Damian following him out of curiosity, or Cass spying on him when he is smoking a cigarette, but with days, they get bolder. Tim is screaming to him across roofs about a case, Steph is asking him questions regarding his weapons and where to buy them and so on. Jason is spocked. After his last life and how the birds had all suffered because of him, he can't even stay in their same space without drowning in guilt. 

The worst of all, of course, is Dick. Dick wants to restart the old relationship with his little wing, and he keeps making jokes, flirting, and stalks Jason like it is his new hobby. Dick who also killed him in his previous life. Who despised and hated him enough to break his own code and drive a knife through his heart. 

Jason can't help but be scared of him as memories of his last death keep resurfacing. The chaos, the pain, Dick’s face. It's almost ironic. He had always had a crush on Dick (who wouldn't? He is sex on legs), but now that Dick is finally paying attention to him, he can't even face him without being terrified. 

They keep playing cat and mouse for a couple of weeks as their stubbornness clashes against each other, until Dick finally catches him, and Jason explodes. He tells him all that had happened in their previous life, what Jason did, what Dick did, and then he asks Dick to leave him alone because nothing good will come out of this. And Dick is so shocked after hearing him, that Jason manages to escape and flee from him again. 

They ignore each other after that, and slowly, Jason gets used to his new life and finally has time to rest, think, and find a semblance of peace for the first time in his life. 

They meet again by chance as Jason tries to bust a drug ring that Dick is also working on. It's awkward and weird, but Jason has had time to find peace about what happened, Dick apologizes, Jason apologizes too, and suddenly they are kissing as if their life depends on it.

They start their relationship the next day after a night full of touches and confessions. Dick is beaming to anyone who sees him, and Jason is still disbelieving this actually happened to him and that he gets to keep this life, but also smiling stupidly. Their relationship with Bruce is still weird, there are problems they still need to work on, but the rest of the family accepts them with glee, and Jason finally lets go of that other timeline.

[aquaquadrant]

thoughts on the new character bios/interviews that the dreamworks twitter posted below the cut, as promised

so right off the bat, i’m trying to figure out when these interviews took place. it seems to be along the lines of a ‘where are they now?’ for the nublar six, so it’d be long enough after their rescue for them to be settled back in their lives. in terms of exact timing, my guess would be it’s 2-3 years before the time frame of chaos theory, and here’s why.

ben’s part mentions him starting college. if he was 14 during JWCC, he would be around 17 at the time of JW fallen kingdom (ie. during the epilogue scene) cuz it’s 3 years after JW. this would make him roughly 21 during chaos theory cuz it’s supposed to be around the same time as JW dominion (i think so, anyway, could be misremembering), which is 4 years after fallen kingdom. while it’s possible ben delayed his start at college bc of the whole ‘was stranded on dinosaur island for a while’ thing, starting at 21 seems pretty late. so this would most likely indicate the interviews were closer to the timing of the epilogue scene, maybe a year or two after (putting ben at 17-19).

more evidence: darius’s part portrays him as fairly well-adjusted and mentions him traveling to give talks, as we saw in the epilogue. we know that at the start of chaos theory, darius has been isolating himself for an unknown amount of time following brooklynn’s supposed death. i doubt ‘the dino times’ would’ve been able to get ahold of him for an interview.

final point: kenji’s part mentions his relationship with brooklynn and that “all is good in casa de kenji.” so like, it’s very unlikely brooklynn is ‘dead’ yet LMAO

the only thing that snags at me is sammy’s part saying she has her own ranch now. if this interview took place a couple years before chaos theory, she wouldn’t be older than 20. that’s a pretty damn young age to own and operate your own ranch- but since she comes from a family of ranchers, it wouldn’t be impossible. perhaps her family purchased some additional land for her to manage a smaller herd and they stay in close business with each other (providing surplus calves as replacement heifers for sammy’s herd, for example). either way, we stan a strong independent businesswoman.

also there’s the fact that they didn’t make one for brooklynn, when theoretically she would’ve still been alive at the time these interviews were done. but i think the dreamworks team might’ve just been concerned that ppl would confuse the timeline and use it as proof brooklynn is alive (full disclosure: i fully believe brooklynn is alive but ofc the show wants us to still think she’s dead) so i could see them leaving her out just for that reason.

now that the timeline junk is of the way, here’s more random thoughts.

yaz doesn’t seem to have returned to her career as an aspiring pro athlete (seems like something the interviewer would’ve mentioned if she had). this feeds my headcanon of her retaining permanent damage to her ankle quite well. also, the trauma. sammy’s part says they “don’t have time to keep worrying about all that running for our lives stuff.” maybe that’s part of it: yaz decided to just settle down and enjoy the quiet life on the ranch. good for her!!

kenji opened up a climbing school?? that’s random as fuck but i’m here for it. on the surface, it seems like the kinda thing rich tourists would sign up for- y’know, the ppl who travel to exotic places around the world to climb shit. but it’s actually a super useful skill to have in a post-dinosaur world, and kenji knows all too well how important these kinds of skills are for survival. so for me, it’s a choice that reflects the maturing he did during his character arc.

i’ve seen some ppl speculating that yasammy might’ve had a breakup/relationship issues. i sincerely hope that’s not the case- at the time of the interviews, they seemed to be in a very committed relationship, but since that was prob a couple years ago i guess there’s a chance something could’ve happened after. fingers crossed i’m wrong and we’ll just get loads of wonderful yasammy content in the show🤞

i’m curious what ben went/was going to college for. considering the epilogue slated him as researching with mae on mantah corp island, i wonder if he’d pursue some kind of neuro/psych/animal behavior thing.

yaz anxiety mention! god please let the show delve into all the PTSD these kids must’ve brought back from the island.

every new bit of info we get has me so excited like can the show just drop already 😩⚰️

[lurkingshan]

Japanese QL Corner

ICYMI: There are so many Japanese qls airing weekly, so I’m going to start posting this little round up at the end of each week. Most of these shows are on Gaga and I highly recommend watching!

Chaser Game W

We've reached the stage with this one where I'm just gonna say we should keep watching for the ratings and enjoy the pretty gifs.

Tsukuritai Onna to Tabetai Onna 2

I got to watch episodes 5-8 of the new season this week, and I promptly lost my mind over how good this show is. It somehow got even better between seasons; the creators have some things to say about the experiences of women under heterosexual patriarchy. I already wrote about Kasuga's family trauma storyline and how much it meant to me, but these episodes also gave us Nomoto's ongoing queer awakening and journey to define her sexuality, the introduction of a new queer bestie in Yako, a better understanding of Nagumo and the careful and steady deepening of her relationship with the gals, a new confidant for Kasgua in Fujita, and Nomoto and Kasuga inching ever closer to defining what they are to each other. The world of the show and the support network around our leads continues to expand, and I am loving every moment. This drama is excellent and I cannot implore you enough to go to @furritsubs and catch up.

My Strawberry Film

Kicking off the last Drama Shower show of the season! This is a high school story featuring a classic trio—the Pining Gay, the Chaos Bisexual, and the Budding Lesbian. Obviously, I love them. I like the mood of this one—it's quite a tonal shift from the last show in this series—and the color grading is blue, blue, blue. And there's a mystery afoot as they try to track down the beautiful girl captured on film. Looking forward to more!

Sukiyanen Kedo Do Yaro ka

I continue to love this show, though I am not entirely sure how I feel about the turn things took with Mizuki this week. I did not really want this to go the full blown love triangle route; I am more interested in a version of this story where Sakae and Soga try to figure out these adult complications from the foundation of being in a relationship, not with the constant interference of a third party. So few dramas are willing to get the couple together early and let them face things together rather than constantly playing the will they, won't they game, and I was hoping Sukidoya was going to be one of them. That said, I like that Mizuki is sticking around in the story because he's an interesting character, and I like the conflict with Soga's job (we have a preponderance of Japanese shows about unreasonable work conditions airing atm) and the temporary nature of his time in Osaka. That he's worried about eventually leaving tells you all you need to know about how much he likes and respects Sakae. If he felt casual about him he would not be worried about complications that far down the timeline. Let's see where they take this love triangle thing next week; I'm hoping it will be brief.

Perfect Propose

Great episode this week, and I love the way they continue to deepen the backstory for these two. Hiro being the first person to need Kai rather than pity him makes so much sense for their dynamic and why Kai would be so attached to him. And of course, when Kai returns the situation is the same; Hiro definitely still needs him. I love that they took a source of shame for Hiro and turned it into a reason why he and Kai are so compatible. Kai wants to take care of him—and he's not the only one! Loved seeing Hiro's coworkers express concern for his well-being and recognize how this job is grinding him down and breaking his spirit. It was so validating to hear from another high performer that the job is miserable and he should quit. It has nothing to do with failure; as Kaneko said, it's about seeking the life he truly wants. He sees Hiro's talent and knows he will not be able to flourish in this hellish work environment, and I thought it was so kind and compassionate of him to try to help Hiro see that. Also shoutout to Hiyori for sitting her ass back down and missing the last train when she realized prime gossip was about to arrive to her table, she's just like me fr.

Ossan's Love Returns

We are clearly in the drama spiral for the season now, and this show seems to be coming for my beloved Kurosawa. Thanks, I hate it! But the show found its humor again this week even as the sad plotlines for the side characters continued, and I was very happy to see it back in top form. I loved this story with Maki and Haruta caring for Goro for the week, and how it affirmed for them that they are actually not interested in having children. I told @bengiyo and @twig-tea when we saw last week's preview that Maki seemed like the type who wouldn't like children, and I was glad to see that affirmed by the show, and crucially, that he didn't change his mind via the power of Goro's cuteness. Not all people want to be parents, and it's so nice and refreshing to see a loving couple decide they just want to focus on each other, and that you can like kids and spend time with them without needing to have one of your own. I loved, too, that we got some focus on Chizu's struggles as a single mom, and her family rallied around her and made it clear she has support. Takegawa's sudden not-at-all-selfishly-motivated interest in polyamory was hilarious, as was Chief's journey to figure out what was causing his stress—until it wasn't, of course. I was glad Chuoko was with him when he got the news. And I am really hoping that rooftop kiss was Kiku's goodbye, and we will be seeing him move on from Izumi soon.

Bonus: Kimi no Koto Dake Mite Itai 

Shoutout to @my-rose-tinted-glasses for giffing this show and reminding me I still hadn't seen it! It was not accessible to me back when it came out and it fell off my radar for awhile. I watched today and thought it was just delightful. A short, sweet, warm hug of a friends to lovers high school bl with two very lovable leads. I highly recommend checking it out.

[inamindfarfaraway]

I just finished watching a playthrough of Shadow Generations and I am mentally unwell. A few thoughts:

SHE’LL ALWAYS BE IN HIS HEART

His SMILE! His real actual smile with soft eyes! For her!

He also didn’t know it was her when he first ran in to save her, he just heard a random child in trouble and immediately dropped his urgent mission to protect them! Because he’s a hero!

“I’ll be fine. We’ll all be fine.” He lets himself hope… after everything, he thinks he finally has a second chance. Shadow, aways the pessimist, has no fear of paradoxes or breaking the timeline or anything bad coming from altering the past. He doesn’t dismiss it as impossible. He just believes. And with the context of Dark Beginnings, those imaginary flashes of him and Maria in a field of flowers, this is literally his dream come true. “I pretend that’ll see you again, and that I’ll save you from all the things I failed to.” IT HURTS

Shadow, Omega, Rogue and Sonic are all friends who love each other and enjoy each other’s company! Shadow was having so much fun challenging Sonic and respects him too much to play dirty with his ridiculously overpowered new tricks.

He did the fake Chaos Emerald con in reverse! Rogue has been rubbing off on him.

Black Doom and the new powers he gives Shadow were seriously unsettling. The way this teenage boy clutches his head and screams in agony as tendrils of darkness and viscera grab him, drown him, rip out of him… I did not like that. Hasn’t he suffered enough? It does look cool, though.

So that was an extremely cathartic final boss fight. It’s nicely ironic that Black Doom keeps saying that Shadow was “made for” destruction when we all know that he was made to heal and save lives, and he calls Shadow’s resistance “meaningless” while Shadow’s awesome theme song playing underneath goes “You’ve found the meaning that you searched for so long”. The army saw him as a weapon and his creator used him as a weapon and now his other creator is trying to do the same, but he’s not! He never was and never will be!

Speaking of boss fights, I wasn’t expecting to have any feelings about Mephiles, of all characters. But damn. A one-dimensional, pure evil villain reduced to a terrified tragedy desperate to matter and simply survive. “I want… to exist!”

I’m not over the fact that SHADOW SHOWS YOU WHERE TO FIND THE LIGHT. SHADOW SHOWS YOU WHERE THE LIGHT IS. A terminally ill child gave her new family and only hope that name for that reason. I. I’m crying.

And so is he at the end! They finally let him cry, even if we only saw one tear. Still! Emotional vulnerability for the win!

He could have frozen them in time and kept them alive… but he chose to move on. To save everyone else, to maintain his relationships and the life he’d built for himself in the present, to look forward to the future. To do what they’d want him to. I’m so proud of him. I’m so happy. My heart has been shattered.

[firefly-factory]

Braids, Mourning, and Timelines

Getting emotional thinking about Astor's braids and the different timelines

(Long post warning. Headcanons incoming)

I've touched on this before, but as a reminder, in my headcanon his braids all signify the most important people in his life (growing up, everyone he knew braided their hair for the same reasons)

But what I HAVENT explained is the significance of the braid that crosses over his face. Put simply, it's a mourning ritual.

When someone loses a loved one (a family member, close friend, etc) they undo the braid that had honored the loved one (these are most commonly done to either side of the face) and then weave a new braid closer to the front of their face. This act tends to be very private, and is often reserved as a moment of quiet meditation for the mourner, amidst the chaos of the loss.

The braid itself is a more public act of mourning, as its prominence on the mourner's face reminds the village that they recently lost someone. Symbolically, it acknowledges that in this moment grief and other such emotions are likely at the forefront of the mourners mind. Its placement is inconvenient, often obscuring the mourners vision slightly. It reminds the mourner that their own judgement might be similarly clouded during this time. Further, when braided with artifacts of the deceased - beads, or even strands of their hair - it serves as a tangible connection to those who are gone.

Okay, so what does this have to do with Astor? Who is he mourning?

It seems counterintuitive, considering how callous he seems in the moment, but Astor's braid honors and mourns Herod, as well as the other cult members who Astor killed in the ritual. It was a small detail, but if you look closely at this snippet of my Harbinger comic:

You can see he is wearing the mourning braid (for the first time* throughout the comic). Because he knows how this is going to end (at least for Herod) and he already hurts, despite the fact that he knows it's inevitable. He hates Herod, but it doesn't stop him from feeling

*starred because I did use this symbolism very early on when Astor's ears were cut, but it wasn't a full braid. A little detail so I doubt anyone noticed, but it's in part because this is a critical "loss of innocence" moment for Astor, and although it's treated likr a celebration by the rest of the family, all he feels is a deep sense of loss (see below)

And there's MORE

A critical part of the mourning ritual - perhaps even more so than the initial braiding - is the moment of release, when the mourner finally feels ready to return fully into society and officially end their mourning period. It doesnt mean that they don't still miss or care for the deceased, but it means that they've come to terms with it, and are more able to focus on the day to day.

There's no set time period for when someone is expected to release their braid. It varies widely from individual to individual, and can sometimes be as simple an act as quietly unbraiding the hair and continuing about your day to day. If that's what you do, no one will question it. In fact, it's a frequent occurrence for people to unbraid and rebraid their hair, as they try to make sense of the emotions and figure out if they're really ready to move on. In some cases, the mourner will come to the end of the mourning period and instead of undoing the braid, they will cut it off (and sometimes make it into jewelry, sort of like Victorian mourning jewelry)

But the thing that was making me emotional is- in the Age of Calamity timeline, Astor never undoes his braid. He never moves on. He is bound, because even though he believes it couldn't have gone any different, he's still the one who pulled the trigger (so to speak).

I'd like to think that in the botw/totk timeline, where his role in Calamity is far less active, he is able to eventually move on (because Herod still dies, even if the circumstances are slightly different).

I want to imagine that there's a timeline where Astor can finally take his hair out of the braid and live for himself <3