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joys-of-everyday · 1 year ago

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The two SQQs: SY and SJ

Completely different people? The same person? Reincarnations of one another? Foils?

Aiyah, don't you love it when there's enough content to get juicy analysis but just enough ambiguity for wild theories? There's a surprisingly large spread of onions opinions on this topic which is fun to read though.

It has been pointed out by a number of people that SY and SJ are very different from each other (some interesting bits of analysis: 1, 2, funny: 3). Equally noted are their similarities (nice post here 4), and others have picked out things which hint in that direction, such as the fact SY seemingly isn't possessing the body, and has SJ's memories in his brain (5). Of course the system could very much be operating on different terms to the rest of the world, but it's consideration worthy because a subtroupe of the 'reincarnate into the villain' troupe is 'the transmigrater was actually the same person all along'. Even without going into the nitty gritties of how transmigration works, they are connected by their shared body and name - here's a great post on how SQQ describes his own feelings through og!SQQ (6).

Now then *cackles* *rubs hands*

The Lack of Self

SJ is a former slave who does everything in his power to survive and excel. SY is fairly well-off and has a dangerous lack of self-preservation.

SJ is ambitious without end. SY is a wastes his life on webnovels.

SJ is acerbic and stand-offish. SY is softer and friendlier.

They are different people!

An onion opinion I see a lot are 'they're obviously different people so they can't be reincarnations of one another'. Firstly, like bro, do you know how reincarnation works? If I reincarnate into a slug, don't try to tell me that the slug and I have the same personality. Jokes aside, this naturally begs the question: 'what constitutes our soul?', or adjacent: 'what within us is permeant?'.

Some would argue nothing. (And this is a highly radical statement if you think about it.) This is subtle (I won't pretend to understand it fully), but for example what does it mean to be 'selfless'. To do selfless acts? To be compelled to do selfless acts? But what compels me to do selfless acts? An innate 'selflessness' within me? If right now I can decide to stop doing selfless acts, that means I am no longer 'selfless'. So that innate 'selflessness' isn't in fact permanent, so can it really be something I own? On the contrary, if I can't just decide to stop the compulsion to be 'selfless', can that compulsion really be called 'me', since I am not in control of it?

Even without going so far, it's clear that our experiences have a deep impact on who we are. Take Bingge and Bingmei. They are different people, yet they are the same. Their divergence started at age twelve. Now at age twelve, a human is still rather squishy. Some studies suggest (the Best Source is Wikipedia Obviously) that human personality shows most active development between the ages of 20-40 (note Bingge was in the Abyss between ages 17-22).

Fundamental characteristics vs outcomes

Okay, 'they could be the same and still different' isn't particularly useful, but something that could be argued with SJ and SY is that they have the same personality seeds, expressed differently. 4 does this (see above), adding a few points.

Acerbic. Neither SJ nor SY are really people people. SJ’s love language seems to be blatantly insulting people (poor YQY). SY’s interactions with PIDW and Airplane bro need not be explained (they’re hilarious) (and also, SY was an internet troll). But SJ’s acerbic attitude pushes people away from him when he needs them most, while SY’s snarky wit is a joke to whoever has the honour of witnessing it. SJ is perceived as a violent and hateful person (‘I’ll kill you’ he says to at least two people he ends up saving the lives of – Shi Wu and LQG). SY, having grown up in a much less violent society and having much less violent ways of expressing this stinginess (calling for the castration of a fictional character vs. saying you want you co-worker dead), is perceived as far more lovable.

Difficulties with communication. Both SJ and SY are infamously bad at expressing themselves. This gets both of them in trouble. But SY’s difficulties in communication primarily arise around his feelings and his sexuality. He doesn’t have the same distrust of others as SJ, arising in SJ from his many childhood traumas. So while SY manages to create a disaster with LBH, he manages to maintain amicable (if hilariously frustrated) relationships with everyone around him. SJ? A lot of his difficulties with communication come from his strained relationship with his past. He is unable to admit weakness. He cannot ask for help. Ruins everything.

Empathy, but in a funny way. SJ is a funny one. He goes out of his way to save people with no gain on his behalf on several occasions and yet he continuously tries to tell you he’s evil. Then there’s SQQ, who justifies letting a bunch of teenagers die by being like ‘oh they’re book characters’ but then clearly feels uncomfortable about it as soon as it starts to happen. Both of them have this weird way of internally dismissing the fact that they do – in fact – care about people. The stark difference between them is that SJ is much more comfortable with murder and violence, although that’s very much explainable by his background.

Anyway, I could go on (their insanely unreliable internal monologues, their negative self-perception, how they both pretend to be people they aren't...) but the point is that the same personality traits, nurtured in different environments, can produce very different results. On one hand, this is a narrative choice - SY and SJ's parallels are precisely what makes them good foils of each other. But also, these connections are what allows the various reincarnation/SY=SJ with memory loss theories to float. (Then again, different people can have similar personality traits.)

The influence of roles

‘Qingqiu’ is the title of the Qing Jing Peak Lord as much as a name, to SJ as well as SY. So what does it mean to 'be Shen Qingqiu'? (parallel question, I like Doctor Who, what does it mean to 'be the Doctor'?).

Both of them are actors. In their own way, they are acting Shen Qingqiu – the (emotionally constipated) scholar, aloof and restrained. This isn’t like a… bad thing, inherently. We all have different 'faces' for different social situations – people act differently towards say, their boss or teacher, as opposed to their close friends. There's a tendency to view this as 'acting' as opposed to an illusive 'true self'. While there's definitely scales to how authentic you are being (you might feel like you're 'acting' far more around say a coworker as opposed to a close friend), but you could also argue that bundled together, this so-called 'acting' is precisely what makes you you. In acting Shen Qingqiu, both Shen Yuan and Shen Jiu become Shen Qingqiu.

The Influence of Body

Slightly more on the side of metaphysical bs, the body is the bridge between your consciousness and your body. Since we don’t do a lot of body hopping, we don’t often appreciate just how much your body influences your perception of reality and the way reality works around you. (Apparently the bacteria in your gut can influence your moods. Like, isn't that crazy?)

SY is in SQQs body. At least after the Lingxi caves, he is comfortable in that body. He experiences the strengths and limitations of SJ’s physical reality. On a wider scale, he experiences (at least for the first few months) how the people around SJ interact with him. Very literally, he is in SJ’s boots. How could that not rub off on him?

It’s quite interesting that all the peak lords thought ‘oh he lost his memories, that’s why he’s like this’ and just accepted that. Their mannerisms were similar enough for that to be plausible. That might be a sign that they're somehow connected on the level of souls, or it might be something that's written into SJ's body.

(Theory that the mushroom body was 3-4/10 similar to SJ okay bc he used SJ’s blood, but also cuz SY sees himself in the mirror so often that he’s unconsciously accepted it as his own face, the way your internal image of yourself changes as you grow old.)

Same People From Parallel Universes

A sister onion opinion to 'they're different people so they can't be reincarnations of one another' is 'they're different people so they can't be the same person' (I know, the question is funny). Mirror universe in Star Trek anyone? It's the evil twin troupe right?

Conclusion

Shen Yuan and Shen Jiu are pretty different! They also have some interesting similarities. Experiences make you what you are. How much of what you are? ...well that is up for debate.

And of course, for the purposes of writing fanfic, 100% endorse going crazy on the theories. I love Shen siblings. I love SY=SJ for angst purposes. I love SY and SJ ripping each other to shreds. I love SY and SJ making each other better.

#svsss #svsss meta #shen qingqiu #shen yuan #shen jiu #original shen qingqiu #scum villian self saving system

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viviennevermillion · 2 years ago

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Trivia Headcanons

notes: reposting bc I’m deleting my archived sideblogs. just some general headcanons about azul.

warnings: none

He does have an octopus pot in his bathroom at NRC. He hides in it whenever he feels sad and has the bathroom door locked. Nobody can go into his room but he locks the door anyway because he is just that paranoid about people seeing him in this form.

Both him and the twins occasionally transform into their merforms because being in their original form is actually quite relaxing to them and helps them unwind. Azul just only does that in the privacy of his own four walls whereas the twins sometimes can be seen swimming around outside of Octavinelle dorm.

Most of the really rare coins he owns have been gained through scamming people.

He writes poetry but like, dark and edgy poetry.

He can play the piano with all 10 of his limbs. He’s also very talented at it.

Has lots of opinions and judgements about everything all of the time. He doesn’t voice them as much because the last thing he needs is a target placed on his back but there are so many instances where people do things and he just thinks to himself “That doesn’t make any sense whatsoever” or “That’s a really stupid idea” and instead of outright saying it he will compliment the person but in such a dramatic and over the top kind of way that it’s really evident it’s not unironically.

Because of the bullying he faced he absolutely doesn’t like people staring at him when he doesn’t want them to look at him. It makes him suspicious and on edge.

When he first came to NRC he was really wary when people laughed around him and there was no evidence it wasn’t about him

He does meditation. It’s actually something he really likes to do. It helps him feel relaxed, in tune with his surroundings and more confident too

He respects other people and in turn wants to be respected. Yes, his contracts are scammy and he isn’t exactly a saint morally but he’s well-mannered and refuses to sink to the level of his bullies. He always remains respectful in a conversation even if he has to fake it. And he absolutely despises it internally when he is not met with that same respect. From friends and close acquaintances he tolerates it as a joke but if someone doesn’t show him basic human decency he’ll be angry.

He sees people as equals. He neither sees himself as superior to anyone nor does he see himself as inferior to others. He is self-conscious and insecure, yes, but he doesn’t think that says anything about his worth in comparison to other people. He craves power but he has a relatively humble understanding of it. He sees himself as a unit in a greater system where he acts with the goal to preserve himself and what he has as well as to increase gains for himself. Power is both a tool and a safety measure for him to achieve his ends and is completely unrelated to other people in his eyes, apart from the interactions he needs to have with them to achieve his goal. He doesn’t see them in any positions above or below himself, simply as other units with their own goals and aspirations but varying levels of how good they are at achieving them and what they already have.

Him and the twins have a sort of boss-henchmen relationship but while the twins might see him as their boss or superior, Azul himself thinks of them as equals he is cooperating with. He is simply in a leadership position where he is fulfilling his function and tasks while the twins are fulfilling theirs but he doesn’t think of them as underlings.

Azul is very aware of his appearance, actions, thoughts and feelings at all times and he gets uncomfortable when others hyper-focus on details about him. It results from his past but it doesn’t solely apply to negative things. He just doesn’t like any unnecessary attention on little things about him. While he and Vil are on good terms, he often feels uneasy about Vil’s tendency to nitpick. Even worse, Rook. One time Rook called him beaute and rambled about the way he wore his dorm uniform for too long and Azul felt the very strong urge to withdraw. He loves compliments but he gets slightly anxious when they’re directed at details rather than at him in general.

He often feels alienated from the people around him. It starts with the fact that as an octopus merman he’s different from almost everyone else just by nature but he also feels out of place sometimes around his classmates and acquaintances. He doesn’t feel like anyone really gets him or that he really relates to anyone else on a deeper level, not even the twins or Idia. Which can make him feel lonely occasionally.

Other people really interest him. It’s not just for the sole purpose of trying to find their weaknesses and desires to draw up the perfect contract. Azul is a person constantly wanting to understand; the reality he lives in, the things that happen, the people around him… and that is why especially those who are sort of incomprehensible to him on an empathetic level are the people he wants to learn about most. At the beginning he was actually really intrigued with Kalim because he just couldn’t wrap his head around this sunny, enthusiastic person who gives without asking for anything in return, lives in the here and now and loves to party and be around lots of people while Azul doesn’t like noisy and crowded places.

The ink he writes with is his own. You bet this man isn’t going to spend money on something he can get for free. He even has a very elaborate lie about aquiring it from a mysterious merchant prepared, in case anyone asks where he got it from. But no one ever does because honestly why would they?

When you want to give him a present he will draw up an agreement stating that his payment for it will be a present to yoi as well and you hsve to provide him with the exact value of your gift so he doesn’t owe you anything

Azul loves the night sky and he would always swim to the surface of the sea to look at it. He always dreamt of flying and feeling so free in the air but then he sat on a broom for the first time and he knew that this was going to stay a fever dream which he didn’t even want to come true practically because it involves him on a broom.

He runs a fairly normal Magicam page with selfies of himself and landscapes he took photos of and Mostro Lounge but his stories / streams are full of NRC gossip

Loves scented candles

#twisted wonderland #azul ashengrotto #azul ashengrotto headcanons

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acidglue234 · 3 years ago

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Is This…Real?

aka the Dani x Gigi analysis nobody asked for

before we get started, i just want to make a lil disclaimer that this is purely a Dani x Gigi character study so i will not be touching on Sophie. this is not to say i think she is blameless. not even close. i just don't feel like talking about her :)

now..

where to begin?

when Dani and Gigi first meet, it’s at a very interesting time in both their romantic (or lack thereof) lives.

while Dani has just gotten out of a long term relationship with a broken heart and trust issues, Gigi has just been kicked out of a throuple and, in trying to ditch her, gets setup on a blind date with Bette, an emotionally frazzled woman who is more interested in chasing down a potential client than Gigi.

neither Dani or Gigi are romantically available, Dani internally and Gigi externally, so when they come together as friends, there is no pressure on either side to be anything more than who they are. there is no judgment. there are no expectations. there is just mutual understanding and a longing to connect. this creates a healthy basis for their friendship, and then eventual relationship, to blossom.

but ultimately, it creates a way for Dani to confront her self-doubt/inability to express herself, and a way for Gigi to find balance in her often tumultuous romantic relationships.

Dani and Gigi are on opposite ends of the spectrum when it comes to emotions and how they express/internalize them. emotional expression vs emotional suppression. while Dani is better at controlling/suppressing her emotions, Gigi is not. and while Gigi is more emotionally expressive, Dani is not.

Gigi leads with her heart.

Dani leads with her head.

logic comes first for Dani.

feelings come first for Gigi.

after Dani’s father is arrested, Gigi helps Dani realize that she filters herself to avoid hurting others. as we’ve seen, when Dani is upset, she doesn’t mince her words and can be very “cutthroat” in the way she expresses herself. and so she’s gotten used to putting a “PR spin” on the way she communicates.

Dani does this because she doesn’t want to be like her father. as Dani’s father constantly created conflict in her relationship with Sophie, it only makes sense that when it came to Dani expressing herself—a trait she shares with him—to Sophie, Dani would shut down instead of being honest. after all, the last thing Dani wanted to do was emulate her father, someone her partner didn’t get along with.

Dani shares that this was mentally taxing for her (as it would be for anyone to cut off a part of themselves and how they naturally express/communicate their emotions.)

in the next scene, Dani admits that a part of her always knew that she and Sophie weren’t right for one another. she wonders how she was able to ignore that part of herself. Gigi agrees and attributes this to self-preservation, but instead of saying “ignore that part of myself,” Gigi says “we lie to ourselves.”

this distinction is important.

not only did Dani filter her form of expression to avoid hurting Sophie, but she also deceived herself in order to avoid the pain of that truth. with that much protection and suppression, Dani eventually built up walls around her which made it hard to let Sophie in and even harder to let her emotions out.

now that this relationship is over, Dani finds herself struggling when it comes to healthy self-expression and knowing when to trust herself after self-deluding for so long.

but in comes Gigi, someone who is very intuitive, in touch with her emotions as well as others’, an open book when it comes to expressing her feelings, a great listener, and a natural communicator.

*swoons*

however, Gigi is so emotionally available that sometimes it could be...a lot.

in past relationships, Gigi tells Dani that she used to “love like that,” meaning she was all in emotionally, probably to the point of no return.

but not anymore.

now she’s more interested in learning from whomever she’s with, giving her partner enough space to work their shit out, and taking enough space to work on her own shit. Gigi tells Dani that she lets things run their course and is just along for the ride. while this might sound nice (as Dani puts it), there is a certain level of disconnect to the way Gigi describes those relationships. there is no fire. there is no passion.

this is further supported when Gigi admits it’s nice for awhile until she gets bored and ends up alone again. from what we’ve seen of Gigi’s relationships, she can be very all-in or all-out. they seem to be fast and passionate or, as Gigi describes, drawn out and boring.

what Gigi’s lacking is balance.

Dani, i believe, helps Gigi find this balance.

Dani puts Gigi in check, holds her accountable for her “shitty” actions, and knows when to slow things down when Gigi wants to go full speed ahead. and where others have misunderstood or criticized Gigi for her affinity to be open and emotionally available, Dani says “fuck em.” by the look on Gigi’s face, this isn’t a part of her that’s often embraced.

but Dani embraces it.

Dani, on the other hand, is relearning how to do something that Gigi is a pro at, and that’s emotional security. Gigi is very good at knowing what she wants, when she wants it, and expressing those feelings without a second thought (it comes so easily to her that she sometimes doesn’t even realize she’s doing it, especially at the wrong times).

but when Dani realizes it, she calls Gigi out on it. and never one to shy away from her feelings, Gigi is honest.

upon first watch, i’m not gonna lie: this interaction confused me. besides highlighting Gigi’s flirt game, i didn’t really get the point of this scene. but upon a few (hundred) more views, i’m starting to get it.

this pattern of asking and affirming continues throughout their friendship.

when Dani says, “okay but you don’t know for sure,” it almost feels like she’s talking to herself. after having lied to herself when something felt wrong, Dani doesn’t know if she can trust herself to know when something feels right. when Gigi responds that she likes Dani’s energy, Dani admits that she doesn’t know what that means, as she's out of practice when it comes to gauging this. but Gigi reaffirms that what Dani’s feeling between them is the energy and that she does feel it. if she didn’t, she wouldn’t have asked.

throughout their friendship, there’s been moments where Dani picks up on their energy. they’re very subtle moments but you can see Dani catch herself (so quick you almost miss it) as she allows herself to feel the emotions she used to suppress, gradually lowering her walls and letting Gigi in.

Dani’s problem is emotional control and letting go of that control. Dani filtered herself to keep from hurting Sophie but she doesn’t do this with Gigi because Gigi has created an atmosphere where honesty and sharing is not only welcomed, it’s encouraged. so where Dani used to bottle up her emotions, she now expresses them. and where she used to lie to herself about her feelings…what does she do now?

now when she's feeling doubtful, instead of ignoring it, Dani faces it. instead of running (literally) away, she goes to Gigi, and they have almost the same interaction from the kitchen scene. Dani feels something between Gigi and herself but doesn’t yet trust herself to know for sure. in asking Gigi about Bette and Alice and Nat, Dani is repeating what she did before. she's collecting information, gauging the situation, and trying to figure out what is real.

"why have you been with everybody i know?"

"i mean, who are you?"

"can i trust you?"

at first, Gigi answers these questions, but then she cuts to the chase (as she’s known to do) and asks Dani what she wants.

Gigi told Dani how she feels so now...it's Dani's turn.

and finally, Dani breaks down her walls, confronts her self-doubt, and lets Gigi in by asking her, straight up, if their connection is real.

this is a question that Dani would have never asked Sophie or even herself in the past. as Dani said, she ignored it. she lied to herself. this time, however, things are different, and Dani is facing her doubts head on because Gigi has earned her trust.

furthermore, when Gigi asks Dani to come in, Gigi learns to slow down as Dani says, “not yet.”

for Dani, this open communication with Gigi of asking and affirming created a safe space for her to reconnect with her emotions. for Gigi, this soft friendship with Dani of baby steps and accountability helped Gigi find balance in a romantic relationship.

this is a relationship with a solid foundation of trust, understanding, friendship, and support. so when Dani asks Gigi if this is real, Dani believes Gigi when she affirms that it's very real:

“it’s what you’re feeling right now.”

thanks for coming to my tedtalk.

writers, please don't fuck this up :)

#dani x gigi #gigi x dani #dani and gigi #the l world generation q #tlwgq #dani nuñez #gigi ghorbani #digi #gini #gani #dini #nobody asked for this but that's never stopped me before lol #they make me so giddy #my comfort ship fr #my analysis

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testudoaubrei-blog · 3 years ago

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Well, it’s not quite a master’s thesis, but this is (the first of) a series of posts on why Catra and Adora are the best love story in the history of kids TV animation and maybe the greatest love story in the history of TV. This may in some ways be faint praise - romance on TV is generally not very good compared with books or movies. Often it’s just some will they/won’t they sexual tension that is defused by getting characters together and re-heightened by breaking them up. TV is full of nearly shark jumping pointless dramas like Sam and Diane (Cheers, holy fuck am I dating myself, though that was technically before my time), Ross and Rachel (Friends, which was no Cheers) etc, but also some less annoying couples like Ben and Leslie (Parks and Rec) or Amy and Jake (Bk99) who are mostly just kind of cute and fun. Other shows, like the X-Files, teased viewers for years with unresolved sexual tension. In kids shows most romances are, appropriate for their target viewers, mild, sweet relationships based more on self-conscious flirting and blushing than on complex and conflicted feelings or deep passions - which is pretty realistic when the characters are young teens or even mid-teens. Some of these relationships are really well done - Finn and Flame Princess, Dipper and Pacifica (yeah I ship them), the early stages of Katara and Aang (before the showrunners imbued this childhood crush with cosmic significance), Steven and Connie, etc. Catra and Adora, though, are different. Their love story is not a side plot or a sub plot, it’s the heart of the show. It isn’t a childhood crush, it’s a very messy and passionate relationship between two young adults. She-Ra is an emotionally complex lesbian romance just as much as it is a thrilling action/adventure show. Everything about their relationship is baked into the show’s plot, its themes, hell even its musical score. The dramatic tension between Catra and Adora is not the result of stretching out a flirtation for ratings, but a coherent dramatic arc that runs through the entire show. As Noelle said, he made Catradora so central that execs couldn’t take it out without ruining the show. And the show is better for it. In this series of posts I’m going to try to show why, as well as showing why She-Ra is such a fantastic love story.

First off, let’s talk about how Catra and Adora’s character arcs are foils for each other, and how they come together and apart through the series. This is actually a post that I’ve been working on for a while but I keep summarizing the show rather than cutting to the chase, so I’m not going to recite many plot points so much as sketch out what’s going on with the dramatic structure at the time. But also, let’s talk about what each character’s arc is saying, and how they are commenting on each other. Spoiler alert: Catra’s arc is a subversion and critique of stories of empowerment through ruthless self-assertion and revenge, while Adora’s arc is a subversion and critique of chosen one narratives and stories of self-denial and self-transcendence.

When the show starts, Adora and Catra are shown as rivals and friends - their first scene starts the recurring motif of them reaching out for each other as one of them dangles above an abyss, as well as establishing their flirtatious banter and easy camaraderie. We quickly learn that these two young women plan to conquer the world together. These scenes and later flashbacks show Catra and Adora as deeply enmeshed in each others lives, to the point where neither of them (but especially Catra) have clear identities outside of one another. There is so much genuine love on both sides before Adora leaves, but also resentment, envy and fear, especially on Catra’s side, as well as a protectiveness on Adora’s side that deprives Catra of her autonomy. They are both being abused by Shadow Weaver - Catra physically and emotionally, Adora emotionally. It wouldn’t be too much to say that Shadow Weaver holds Catra hostage to control Adora (this is why critiques that Adora abandoned Catra to be abused are actually kind of messed up, since they accept Shadow Weaver’s premise that Adora is responsible for what Shadow Weaver does to Catra). In addition, Catra and Adora actually see the world incredibly differently. Adora already sees the world in terms of right, wrong and her destiny to right wrongs - this is why it’s important for her to accept the Horde’s obvious lies - she couldn’t keep living if she didn’t. Catra, on the other hand, sees the world solely in terms of survival and personal loyalty - everything for her is about preserving herself and the person she cares about - Adora.

Then, when Adora finds the sword, she leaves because it’s the right thing to do. Catra doesn’t even have a concept of ‘the right thing to do’ being something she should care about, or perhaps, something she can care about as an irredeemably evil, awful fuck-up. So at Thaymor neither one understands where the other is coming from, and Catra and Adora begin to part. This is the first turning point in their relationship. Adora chooses duty over what she desires, Catra chooses to protect herself (such as she sees it) and nurse her sense of betrayal and abandonment.

Their relationship until Promise is a kind of weird Frenemy thing that is fascinating to watch and sold me on the show. Neither one wants to fully admit to themselves that the other is now their enemy, neither one has given up on changing the other’s mind. Each is furious at the other, and desperate to see her again at the same time. There’s a lot of heartache and just as much sexual tension, especially at Princess Prom. Both of them come alive when they fight each other (more about that in a later post). But they’re already growing apart - Adora embracing her destiny as She-Ra, Catra rising in the ranks for the Horde. Adora now has the purpose she always wanted, plus other friends and a sense of being chosen to do something great, while Catra now has power - the means to protect herself from people like Shadow Weaver as well as the vindication she had always been denied, and even the opportunity to beat Shadow Weaver at her own game.

The next turning point is Promise. Holy fuck, this episode. It’s an episode that is even more heartbreaking after you’ve watched the show because you know just how much worse things are going to get, and yet, it’s a necessary part of both of their character arcs. Even through season 1 Catra and Adora had remained very much enmeshed in each others lives in an increasingly fucked up way as they grew apart but refused to turn away from each other. Even though they aren’t -exactly- a romantic couple (Adora doesn’t recognize and acknowledge her feelings until the last episode of Season 5), Season 1 of She-Ra is one of the worst breakups I have seen on TV. As I said in a couple of previous posts, this is the kind of shit that the Mountain Goats write songs about. Everything that was poisoning their love for each other even before episode 1 bubbles to the surface and combines with them fighting on opposite sides of the war to make a truly fucked up situation. In the end, it’s Catra that makes the choice to turn away from Adora. This isn’t a -good- decision. It’s spiteful, and destructive, and based on an outright deluded understanding of their relationship (inspired by Light Hope’s manipulations and her own issues), but it’s in some ways a necessary decision. Catra has been so wrapped up in Adora for so long that she isn’t going to be able to figure out who -she- is without cutting Adora out of her life. And the same is true of Adora.

But each of them do this in about the worst way possible. Catra embraces destruction, ambition, manipulation and outright cruelty, turning the tactics of her abusers against them and against everyone around her. She first triumphs over Shadow Weaver and manipulates Entrapta into trying to corrupt Etheria itself. Meanwhile Adora ‘lets go’ and commits herself to the self-denying mantle of She-Ra. Over the next several seasons, their respective paths will nearly lead both Catra and Adora to their deaths (in the Season 4 finale).

For the next season (counting season 2 and 3 as one) Catra and Adora are still closely linked, but as enemies. Still, there’s more than enough flirtation between them (that ‘Hey Catra’ in the first episode of Season 2 is something else), and especially on Adora’s side we see her hold back with Catra, and often take responsibility for the harm Catra inflicts, just like she had when they were kids. Yet they still drift apart - after facing off every other episode in Season 1, they spend less and less time on screen together through season 2 and 3. Catra continues her ascent to power and descent into villainy while Adora becomes more of a stressed out mess as she takes the fate of the world and the wellbeing of everyone she cares about on her admittedly broad shoulders. Catra’s one moment of vulnerability is rewarded by Shadow Weaver’s betrayal and her exile, then Catra triumphs in ruthless badass fashion through sheer desperation and aggression. In the Crimson Wastes, we see Catra at her most independent, and she almost seems happy. But once Adora shows up and Catra hears about Shadow Weaver, she’s sucked back into the worst of her resentments, and she makes very clear that being happy is less important to her than making sure Adora is miserable.

This changes everything. Catra completely breaks with reality and tries to kill Adora, herself and the world rather than lose to Adora and Shadow Weaver (I do think it’s important to remember that she does that after Shadow Weaver nearly kills her). Catra betrays everyone around her when she exiles Entrapta, threatens Scopria and lies to Hordak. Then she flips the switch. When Adora tries to fix things, Catra fights to her own death to make sure that the world disintegrates with her. For her part, Adora fights first to understand what is wrong with the world and then to fix it. Finally she tells Catra that destroying the world is her choice and she has to live with it, decks her, and then sees her off with a death glare once the portal is closed. With this, Adora writes Catra off even if, as she says later, she never never hated her. By doing that, Adora casts off the guilt that had dogged her and takes responsibility for her own life rather than someone else’s - this is actually a huge step for her, and one that will become more important in Season 4.

Season 4 is in many ways the nadir of their relationship. They only see each other once during the entire season, in Fluterrina, when Adora tries to blast Catra, much to the latter’s shock. There’s a sense in that scene that Catra is trying to have the same flirtatious enmity she used to have with Adora, and Adora is having none of it. Catra almost seems hurt by this, which is an early hint at how isolated Catra is beginning to feel. Catra spends the rest of the season at her highest and lowest. On the one hand she spends most of 12 episodes winning by every standard she has ever claimed to care about, besting Hordak himself in single combat and making herself co-ruler of the Horde and coming within a day’s march of ending the Rebellion. In many ways it is the ultimate empowerment fantasy - the abused young woman has defeated her abusers, showed up everyone who doubted her and forced everyone to respect her. But I think it’s striking that the show starts with her and Adora dreaming of conquering the world together and in Season 4 Catra nearly succeeds in conquering it alone, almost like she was trying to live out her old shared fantasy while proving she didn’t need her former best friend.

At the same time, Catra is clearly miserable. She’s always been unhappy, but in Season 4 we see her completely isolated and lying to herself and everyone who will listen in a desperate attempt to justify her actions. Turning the tactics of Hordak and Shadow Weaver against them to gain power and then against Scorpia and Entrapta to maintain it haven’t vindicated Catra, they’ve made her more and more alone as Entrapta is exiled and Scorpia drifts away. Meanwhile Catra reaches out to Double Trouble, and her interactions with them reek of a kind of desperate desire to have someone in her life (the feeling of their interaction is of an unhealthy casual relationship where one partner becomes emotionally invested and the other takes advantage of that while denying the other the closeness they desire). As people leave her, one after the other, it becomes clearer and clearer that Catra doesn’t want power at all - she wants connection, friendship, love, and power is a very poor replacement. As I said in my long Catra rant, Season 4 is both her ‘Walter White as a Catgirl’ season and the beginning of her redemption. Everything comes to head when Sparkles destroys everything Catra has tried to achieve, Double Trouble delivers those harsh truths and Horde Prime shows up and makes it all irrelevant, just highlighting how futile all her struggles and sacrifices and crimes have been.

Meanwhile Adora spends Season 4 becoming her own her and her own woman. After telling off Catra, she grows more and more disillusioned with Light Hope and critical of Glimmer (though the latter has more than a shade of her old habit of taking responsibility for others - Adora’s development is not linear). She’s gained the courage and confidence to strike out her own path, not just follow a destiny. At the season’s end she once again breaks with her best friend to do what is right, and discards the destiny that she was being prepared for. But in this case she isn’t chasing one packaged destiny for another, instead she’s making her own choice and literally shattering the thing that she thought gave her life purpose. It’s badass, and heartbreaking, and along with decking Catra and jumping after Catra into the abyss (see below) it’s the perfect Adora moment.

In many ways Season 5 starts with Catra and Adora farther apart than they have ever been. They aren’t even enemies anymore, they’re completely out of each other’s lives. And both Catra and Adora are lost at the beginning of Season 5 - Catra is useless and alone on Prime’s ship, completely defeated despite ostensibly being on the winning side, and she goes through the motions of her normal plotting without any particular conviction and none of her normal flair. Meanwhile Adora is even more miserable and self-destructive than usual, throwing herself at Horde Bots and working herself until she drops of exhaustion. In a very real way they both stay lost until they have a chance to help the other. Catra takes responsibility for what she’s done and what she can do, saves Glimmer (at least partly for Adora’s sake), apologizes to Adora, and sacrifices herself. Adora only seems to come alive when she decides to turn around, face Prime, and save the cat. And when she does, Catra and Adora’s arcs, which had separated so completely in season 4, come crashing back together to end the series.

Adora during Save the Cat is such a contrast with the uncertain, hesitant and self-destructive wreck we’ve seen so far in Season 5. This is possibly her craziest plan in 3 years of mostly cazy plans, but she never wavers or questions herself. Even when Chipped Catra appears and we see Adora’s heart break while we watch, Adora doesn’t back down or relent. She keeps at it even as the tears stream down her face. She fights better trying to save Catra without She-Ra’s powers than she fought at the Battle of Bright Moon with them. Catra’s just about as desperate - we see her cry and plead, and now is probably as good a time to any to point out how amazing a job both VAs did throughout the show, but especially in this episode, and how good a job the board artists did.

Seeing each other for the first time in a year, and only the second time since Catra blew everything up, Catra and Adora are probably the rawest and least restrained we’ve ever seen them. There’s barely any banter, no bravado, and no pretense that they are anything other than two women who desperately need each other (Prime doesn’t help with ‘You broke my heart’.) Then Catra is flung to her death, Adora jumps after her, breaks both her legs in the fall (we see her crawl to Catra, as though she couldn’t walk) and becomes the real She-Ra. It’s such a triumphant and deeply queer moment seeing a woman transformed into a warrior goddess to protect the woman she loves, and it’s the reason that, as dark as it is, Save the Cat is my Comfort Food episode.

Let’s not sleep on Taking Control, though. This episode is like a microcosm of what this show does best, especially the A plot with Catra and Adora. Catra’s reversion to lashing out at everyone and her refusal to be open to Adora shows just how much of a struggle this whole ‘being good and trying to connect to people’ thing is. Catra’s outburst gives Adora a chance to stand up for herself and refuse to be Catra’s punching bag, while also not trying to control her. Adora’s ultimatum gives Catra a chance to reach out to Adora (quite literally), and allow herself to be vulnerable. In this episode, we see just how far Catra and Adora have come since the messed up stew of their relationship in Season 1. Adora lets Catra be responsible for her own actions; Catra lets herself be vulnerable to Adora and takes responsibility for her actions. They’re both better people and better friends and better partners than they were, and the show has shown this in a strikingly nuanced and realistic way.

The important thing to note in the next few episodes of Season 5 isn’t just how much closer Catra and Adora get to each other and how much they flirt (So much. So much, y’all) but just how -happy- they are. We see both of them transformed in the other’s presence. Basically, since they’ve parted, both Catra and Adora have been defined in no small part by how miserable they often are. They have both had their triumphs and their lighter moments, but there’s been a sense of melancholy dogging both Catra and Adora since episode 1. And now that they’re together again, that lifts, somewhat. Catra’s verbal barbs have lost their venom, and she can openly show how much she cares for Adora and even Bow and Glimmer. She’s still herself - snarky, cynical, somewhat devious - but she’s not engaged in a self-destructive zero-sum struggle with everyone around her. Meanwhile Adora has spent 4 seasons being a neurotic and sometimes nearly joyless mess who takes responsibility for everything and often doesn’t let herself enjoy anything other than the odd BFS group hug (exceptions include trying to uh...impress Huntara and reveling with the butterfly ladies of Elberron in Flutterina). Around Catra, though, she’s a cocky, swaggering jock who gives as good as she gets. It’s a side of Adora we’ve only seen hints of before, and one that’s so much more confident and joyful even as the world is ending around her. Apart, Catra had tried to protect and vindicate herself with power and conquest, while Adora had tried to forget herself in duty and sacrifice. Together, they can be themselves again. This dynamic is crucial to the show’s portrayal of Catra and Adora’s romance because it doesn’t just show how much they love each other, but how they’re -good- for each other now that they’ve grown as people, and that they are so much better than they were when they were apart.

Until Shadow Weaver shows up. Their old abuser reintroduces tensions but even then things are different than they were. Now Catra isn’t just resentful of how Shadow Weaver prefers Adora - she’s protective of Adora, which is clearest in Failsafe when she calls Shadow Weaver out for being willing to sacrifice Adora. And while Adora takes the Failsafe, it isn’t to follow her destiny or because she has a death wish - it’s because she loves her friends, and she is the only one who has any hope of doing this and living (though Catra’s suggestion that Shadow Weaver take it is a good one). And finally, when Catra leaves Adora, it isn’t because she hates Adora, nor, despite what she says, is it because she really thinks that Adora chose Shadow Weaver. At least, not exactly. It’s because Catra loves Adora, and can admit that to herself, and can’t stay around and watch the woman she loves sacrifice herself rather than choosing Catra. Before Catra leaves, she asks Adora ‘What do you want?” It’s a question that echoes Shadow Weaver’s speech in Episode 1: ‘isn’t this what you always wanted since you could want anything?’ As much as Adora has grown as a person, and defined herself and stood up for what she thinks is right, she still has never answered that question - it’s never been ‘what do I want’ but ‘what do I have to do?’ and that’s how Adora answers Catra’s question. This is Adora’s last gasp as a self-transcending hero, letting go of what she wants (not that she ever dared articulate what that was) in order to do what must be done. And it nearly kills her and dooms the universe, because Adora can’t be the hero that she needs to be by being anyone less than herself.

But it’s losing Catra that inspires Adora to tell off Shadow Weaver for good (not that she’d ever really warmed to her after season 1). And it’s love for Adora that inspires Catra to stand up to Shadow Weaver and demand that she do the right thing. In both cases, Catra and Adora aren’t just standing up to their abuser, but holding her to account for the harm she’s caused, and it’s the love that they have for each other that inspires them to do this. In Catra’s case in particular her refusal to let Shadow Weaver weasel out of finding Adora is a much greater triumph over Shadow Weaver than beating her up and breaking her mask in Season 1 - it’s proof not so much to Shadow Weaver but to Catra herself that Catra really is better than this and that she deserves better than this. It’s not turning her abuser’s tactics against her, but truly holding her to a moral standard and demanding that she do the right thing.

And then there’s Catra and Adora together at the heart. Catra has already come back for Adora and stayed to the end, choosing to die with her even if she can’t share a life together (not out of some death wish, but because Adora needs her). And Adora, who’s been avoiding answering the question for three fucking years, finally let’s herself want Catra when Catra finally confesses her love (breaking the last of her self-protective shields) and asks Adora to stay -for her-. And by admitting what she wants, Adora can truly be at peace with herself and be the hero she needs to be, lesbianism saves the universe, The End.

So anyway, that’s how Catra and Adora’s stories are woven together and how they compliment and comment on each other. Narrativiely, Adora and Catra start together, come apart, find something of themselves, and truly find themselves and each other when they are reunited. Thematically, they are critiquing seemingly opposing narrative tropes - empowerment narratives and narratives of self sacrifice. But by showing the flaws in both types of story and showing how neither self-seeking empowerment nor self-negating self sacrifice can actually make us happy, She-Ra asks and answers more profound questions than most prestige dramas for adults do. I’ll get into how the show sells the idea that the power of love can bring us happiness (and save the world) in a future post. But next up, I’m going to celebrate just how much Catra and Adora’s relationship revels in ambiguity, complexity and contradiction and so tells a grown up love story in a kid’s show.

#she ra #she ra spoilers #she ra adora #spop #catradora #she ra netflix #she ra and the princesses of power #goat ship #long #meta

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robininthelabyrinth · 3 years ago

Note

3. I have no idea if this time line would work, but MYX and XY get attached to each other, so when the time comes that MYX and XY need to leave Koi Tower, JGY helps them get married in secret and run away to Dongu. Anyways, a few years latter, JGY has a kid that needs to go and people in a removed location that owe him favors! Isn’t that a wonderful combination! A Jin(?) Rusong raised by Uncles Mo and Xue, or whatever they go by these days, would be very chaotic. Bonus: they start a relatively safe demonic cultivation sect, maybe with some guidance from the Nie (has NMJ never been killed by the Jin in this Au?), or more specifically, Huaisang. SL and XXC who got a happy ending decide to check out this no blood line sect (it looks slightly dubious, but surely can’t be to bad! Right?) A-Qing at least is enjoying her new friend -🟪🦋

Should Have Been Listening - ao3

“Let go of me.”

“I won’t,” Mo Xuanyu said, clutching Xue Yang’s arm. “I won’t, I won’t! You’re my only friend here!”

Xue Yang looked down at him in what he thought was mostly exasperation, but might have also been a little fondness – after all, if it’d been anyone else who’d grabbed him, he’d have stabbed them.

He still didn’t know why he didn’t stab Mo Xuanyu, too, but in all honesty, he wasn’t that interested in exploring it. He did what he wanted, and right now, he didn’t want to murder Mo Xuanyu.

Irritating as he sometimes was.

“Little brat,” he said. “I have important business to go do.”

“It’s not something that he ordered, though!”

“So what?” Xue Yang bristled. “I don’t just do what hetells me!”

“But that means he won’t cover for you, and that means you’ll get in trouble!” Mo Xuanyu argued. “How can I let you go all alone to get in trouble? You have to take me with you! What will you do without me? Who’ll keep you entertained and sneak sweets for you if not for me?”

Xue Yang’s lips twitched. Okay, maybe there was a reason he kept the brat around.

“You don’t understand,” he said. “This is something I’ve got to do – something I’ve wanted to do for a long time. I’m going to kill a lot of people and get into a lot of trouble, more trouble than ever before. I’ll probably lose my life. How can I possibly take you with me?”

Mo Xuanyu scowled up at him. It was a very weak scowl – barely more than a pout. “You think that’s going to make me not want to come with you?”

Xue Yang’s eyebrows went up. “You cry at the sight of blood!”

“I cry at a lot of things!”

Xue Yang wasn’t sure how to respond to that. It was true, Mo Xuanyu cried at a lot of things.

“Maybe if I come with you, it won’t be so bad!”

Yeeeeah, Xue Yang wasn’t going to count on that.

“Or maybe you don’t have to go…?”

“I have to go,” he explained. “If I don’t go, I can’t get revenge, and I have to have revenge.”

Mo Xuanyu blinked up at him.

“I don’t really understand, but okay,” he said, and tugged on his arm. “Let’s go together, then. I promise I won’t cry!”

He cried.

He cried a lot.

“Stop fucking crying.”

“Just – ugh. Listen. You’re ruining the mood.”

“If you can’t stop crying, go away. Now. Or I’ll stab you!”

“Okay, see, look, I just killed the leaders, see? Just the old men. Everyone else is just locked in their rooms. Once the sect leader comes back, I’ll kill him too, and that’ll be all. Okay? Everyone else lives. I promise. Now stop crying, okay?”

“I don’t want to know,” Jin Guangyao said when they got back. “I don’t want to know at all.”

“Good,” Xue Yang grumbled. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Enough people heard about the reason for what you did that opinions are mixed as to whether your actions were the Chang clan’s just rewards for their former misdeeds or if they were actually wrong,” Jin Guangyao said. He looked irritated. “But you still killed high-ranking members of a sect, and you left enough alive that they’re demanding your head on a platter. You’re going to need to run away.”

Mo Xuanyu hesitantly gestured as if he wished to speak.

“Yes, you can go with him. Now that my father is dead, no one cares where you are.”

Mo Xuanyu beamed.

“You’re just going to let us go?” Xue Yang asked suspiciously. “That seems unlike you. What’s in it for you?”

“Oh, I’m not just going to let you go. I’m going to give you money, too,” Jin Guangyao said. “And all you need to do for me is one little tiny favor –”

Pity that that was when Xue Yang stopped listening, too busy staring at Mo Xuanyu’s delighted face and counting all the way he was in for it now.

“I’ve always wanted to take care of a baby,” Mo Xuanyu said happily.

“Good for you,” Xue Yang said darkly as he stalked through the streets.

He would rather that Jin Guangyao had needed a body buried and a death covered up or something – and judging by the baby’s perturbed expression, it probably agreed with him. Fuck, maybe Jin Guangyao had meant for them to murder the baby once they got it far enough out of the way. It was just as plausible as Mo Xuanyu's assumption that they were supposed to take care of it.

Damnit, maybe he should have been listening.

“Listen, neither of us are equipped to handle a baby. Go find a woman to help us – someone poor and helpless who doesn’t have any other choice.”

“Okay!”

Xue Yang shut his eyes. “What exactly,” he said slowly, “did you think I asked you to get us a woman for, exactly?”

“To…watch the baby?” Mo Xuanyu guessed. “When we’re busy or sleeping? Anyway, what’s wrong with A-Qing, anyway? She’s nice!”

“I’m not nice,” A-Qing said. The damn brat was smirking – and for once it wasn’t his damn brat, but some blind brat with a cocky expression. “I stole your wallet and you burst into tears and it was really embarrassing.”

“He does that,” Xue Yang said wearily. At least he’d noticed the theft this time – all of his lessons in ‘how not to be a sucker and get constantly taken advantage of’ were maybe having something of an impact. Maybe. “For some reason I’m apparently into it.”

He couldn’t explain it any other way.

“…loser.”

“I will stab you,” Xue Yang threatened. “I don’t care if you’re blind.”

“Won’t someone tell me why A-Qing isn’t a perfectly good babysitter?” Mo Xuanyu demanded. He was holding the baby in his arms again – the baby liked him more than it did Xue Yang, which meant that between Mo Xuanyu and the baby, the baby had better self-preservation instincts – and he was trying his best stern scowl which was of course barely more than a pout and a so-called ‘fierce’ expression that made Xue Yang want to laugh.

Not even Mo Xuanyu’s horrific make-up skills could make thatface intimidating. Or maybe it was just that the person behind the face was just so completely unthreatening that there was no help for it?

“Well? Tell me!”

Xue Yan opened his mouth, then shrugged and shut it again.

A-Qing patted Mo Xuanyu on the shoulder. “I’m too young. No milk.”

“…milk?”

“You know. The thing babies eat?”

“…milk,” Mo Xuanyu repeated, only now he looked absolutely heartbroken at having failed the mission that Xue Yang had assigned him almost entirely just to get him out of the way while Xue Yang collected some spare cash and threatened their way onto a ride out of this piece of shit town.

“It’s fine,” Xue Yang said hastily. “We’ll just get a goat or something, I don’t know.”

“Okay, I actually only came here to laugh at you,” A-Qing said. “But now I’m legitimately worried about this baby. Don’t you two know anything? How’d you even get a baby, anyway?”

“Stop laughing. It’s not that funny.”

“Seriously. Stop laughing, or I stab you.”

“Don’t worry, A-Qing,” Mo Xuanyu said. “He doesn’t mean it! Threats are just how he expresses affection!”

“It most certainly is not.”

“That is absolutely amazing,” A-Qing said, wiping her eyes. “Best thing I’ve ever heard., if by best I mean worse-but-hilarious. I mean. If that’s what he considers affection, what must his flirting be like?”

“No one is flirting with anyone!”

“Are you going to leave at some point?”

“Obviously not,” A-Qing said. She’d caught the same ride as them, using Xue Yang’s cash no less – Mo Xuanyu had insisted that it was the least they could do after the whole milk misunderstanding, which was stupid, she ought to be paying them for wasting their time. Xue Yang couldn’t wait to get rid of her, although he had to admit that she’d been pretty useful in terms of putting on the ‘poor sad blind girl and her two brothers all alone in the world’ act to get them a room at the inn at prices even Xue Yang felt comfortable paying. “Are you joking? This is so much funnier than walking by myself. Anyway, I enjoy watching people crash and burn.”

“Aren’t you too young to be such a bitch?” Xue Yang hissed. “And, I don’t know, blind?”

“You know what I mean.”

“I don’t care what you –”

The sound of crying came from the other room.

It was quickly followed by a second set of crying.

Xue Yang felt the onset of a headache.

“…truce?” A-Qing suggested sweetly, as if she knew exactly how much it pissed him off and thought it was the funniest thing ever, which was…probably accurate, actually. “I’ll get the baby to stop crying if you do the same with Mo Xuanyu.”

Yeah, that was definitely a headache. The sort of headache called why do I like that brat.

Mo Xuanyu owed him so much candy for putting up with this shit.

“Fine,” Xue Yang said begrudgingly. “Truce. Temporarily. And then you leave!”

“So we live here now, huh?” A-Qing said, looking around the house they’d claimed. “That’s neat.”

“Why do you live with us again?” Xue Yang asked her, though by now he barely even meant it. A-Qing was clearly another one in the same mold as Mo Xuanyu: you just couldn’t say no to her…or, rather, you could, at length and top volume and with threats, only it just didn’t stick. “I definitely did not recall asking you to stay.”

Though it was nice to have someone else around that wasn’t going to get immediately ripped off by literally anyone who came their way. Mo Xuanyu’d started getting conned by the literal infant that they were taking care of – he was completely hopeless.

Also, questionably blind or not, at least A-Qing had no hesitation about beating people with her stick if they struck her the wrong way, which was a life approach Xue Yang agreed with wholeheartedly.

“She’s going to learn to cultivate!” Mo Xuanyu chirped from where he was applying his make-up. “Demonic cultivation, too! We had a whole discussion about it while you were out getting groceries!”

That made a certain amount of sense, Xue Yang supposed. You didn’t need talent to be a demonic cultivator – technically speaking, given his bloodline, Mo Xuanyu was more naturally gifted in cultivation than Xue Yang, which was just wrong on all sorts of levels – and it was certainly more effective a defense mechanism than A-Qing’s stick. If there were two of them, they could protect Mo Xuanyu and the baby more effectively, taking shifts when needed, and Mo Xuanyu, who was also going to learn demonic cultivation no matter how many times Xue Yang had to hammer it into his head, could be the last line of defense, largely since no one would ever expect him to be able to do…anything…and they’d be right, too.

So it wasn’t the craziest idea in the world, only…

“…who is she going to be learning from, exactly!?”

“Have you ever considered charging for your skill in teaching cultivation lessons instead of your skill in stabbing people?” A-Qing asked one day. They were lying on the ground and having the corpses they’d raised fan them to try to reduce the temperature – it was that sort of day. Also, Mo Xuanyu, who might’ve objected, wasn’t around. “You’re not actually that bad at this. Might be more profitable, and less work. Just a thought.”

“Shut up. I’m great at stabbing people.”

“Yeah, but then after a while we have to move because people get annoyed at that, and it’s getting a little annoying to have to pack up all the time.”

“We’d have to move anyway. We’re wanted criminals, remember?”

“We could be wanted criminals with a house. Besides, wouldn’t you like to be called Teacher Xue?”

“What? No. Gross.”

“So you see, it turns out that they were teaching demonic cultivation in a safe and organized fashion,” Xiao Xingchen explained enthusiastically. “They’d even gathered up their own little sect! And of course everyone heard what the Chang clan did, so there’s no need to worry about them going around and murdering people at random – it was a targeted revenge scheme.”

“We’re working on teaching them regular cultivation,” Song Lan agreed, nodding. “To help mitigate the negative effects of demonic cultivation…well, we started out by just teaching them.”

“It turned out that they’d been secretly teaching all of the local delinquents, too, or at least Mo-gongzi had been teaching a few and Mistress Qing was teaching a few others, and even Sect Leader Xue had a few disciples,” Xiao Xingchen said, politely omitting or possibly having not noticed the fact that Mo Xuanyu had been teaching his ‘friends’ (read: scammers trying to take advantage of him), while A-Qing and Xue Yang had each been trying to form competing gangs and/or obtain lackeys. Xue Yang didn’t mind the oversight, largely on account of the fact that A-Qing had been winning, damn her – he’d kept getting distracted by inventing new things. “And a few of them had real talent – and you know that Zichen and I have always wanted to start a sect of our own, with no bloodline ties –”

“We’re joining their sect,” Song Lan said. “We’ll be leading the orthodox side, while they lead the demonic cultivation aspect – safely, of course.”

“I guess it’s better than them being crazy,” Jiang Cheng said. He sounded dubious. “I don’t like it, but at least all the demonic cultivators can be in one spot, you know?”

He made it sound like they’d be dropping off new ones there in the future.

Like they’d opened up some sort of pet rescue and were taking in unwanted puppies or something.

“Agreed,” Nie Mingjue said. “To the extent that they aren’t causing active harm, containment seems an appropriate remedy here. Who seconds the motion?”

“I do,” Lan Xichen said, and smiled at the newly agreed-upon sect. “Welcome back to the cultivation world, Sect Leader Xue.”

“I don’t want to know,” Jin Guangyao said, glaring.

“Don’t worry,” Xue Yang told him. “This comes as much of a shock to me as to you.”

The glare intensified, but that was fine. Jin Guangyao’s facial expressions, however minor and generally overlooked, had been the only thing getting him through that awful, awful meeting just now where people kept trying to salute him and make him salute back and if he didn’t then he was letting down Mo Xuanyu (who would send him a sad look) and A-Qing (who would hear about it from Mo Xuanyu later and then find a way to step on his foot right when he was concentrating on something).

Not to mention their two new resident lovebirds, who looked so righteous and proper from the outside but who also may or may not have accidentally full-on actually resurrected some dead asshole cultivator more or less the first time they’d joined Xue Yang in his demonic cultivation laboratory – which would have been fine, you know, that happened in demonic cultivation though not normally to quite such a wow-is-he-actually-alive extent, except that the guy’s intermittent moments of clarity suggested that his two new sect members might have just brought back the Yiling Patriarch himself, which was going to make all of them wanted criminal again the second anyone found out about it.

Ugh.

Being called sect leader was completely not worth this shit.

Xue Yang comforted himself with the reminder that later today he was planning on publicly introducing Jin Guangyao to the Xue sect’s head junior disciple “Xue Song” and announcing loudly that the brat needed some lessons in manners, that he’d heard that that was Lianfeng-zun’s specialty, and nominating him to take care of the kid while they were visiting.

See how the fucker liked that.

“I always knew Xue-gege could do great things!” Mo Xuanyu said, clapping his hands as A-Qing rolled her (by now, Xue Yang was almost definitely sure not actually blind) eyes behind his back. “As long as I went with him!”

#mdzs #xue yang #mo xuanyu #a-qing #jin guangyao #my fic #my fics #should have been listening

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a-crimson-lion · 3 years ago

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The Past Is Present (In All The Wrong Ways…)

So I saw that @elflynns-horde-of-stuff wanted to talk about BNHA 319, and I was going to send her and ask, but then I let my thoughts go on too long, so… everyone gets this gigantic brain dump. Enjoy :D

[Fair warning: no immediate Bakubashing, but it does come in later. I’m not joking, if you don’t like that, AVOID it. Please. Thank you.]

Now there’s a LOT to unpack with this chapter, and I might not be able to put all of it in words, so let me try and boil it down to what I believe is the core issue:

People are recognizing Midoriya’s bulls*** without recognizing Bakugo’s bulls***.

[TL;DR at the very end, just so you know.]

Which, let me be clear, is completely fair. I like Midoriya as a character, he’s obviously one of my favorites, but hoo BOY am I sick and tired of the s*** he has to go through and the s*** he’s pulling! I understand he’s going through a lot of stress right now and he doesn’t want anyone else to get hurt, but from a completely professional standpoint, that is LITERALLY THE JOB. His other friends are literally HEROES (in training) that have also been through their fair share of UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONAL BULLS*** BECAUSE OF SHONEN LOGIC, so realistically trying to protect them, while noble, does kinda come off as insulting. And I get the whole savior complex thing, because the whole “its my responsibility, let me handle it” isn’t entirely irrational on its own.

The previous holders of OFA more or less signed up for the responsibility.

Nana Shimura signed up for the responsibility, not her family.

Toshinori Yagi signed up for the responsibility, not his friends and (found) family.

Izuku Midoriya signed up for the responsibility, not his mom, not his friends.

...except AFO isn’t just targeting OFA, though that is a big priority on his to-do list.

Except AFO, as a villain, isn’t just OFA’s responsibility.

Except even if innocent people can’t and shouldn’t be brought in the crossfire, Midoriya’s friends aren’t civilians. A good bulk of Midoriya’s allies aren’t civilians. They’re heroes. They signed up for this. Maybe not taking on an ancient evil like AFO, but hey, most villains nowadays AREN’T a part of the standard deal.

The thing about a savior complex is that you often have a blindside.

And from a more personal perspective, I’m not a big fan of the whole “protagonist repeats history” kinda deal, especially with the way BNHA framed itself as a sort of “next-gen” shonen which was supposed to be kinda sorta different. And the thing is, we already have several examples of the same story with the previous OFA holders, especially Nana and Toshinori, which we’ve seen in glimpses on several occasions.

Internally, it does make sense for Midoriya to be repeating the mistakes of his predecessors. Personally, I think it would make more sense if Midoriya’s inferiority complex manifested in a different way (and maybe show us the dangers of that heroic isolation through Nana and Toshinori in more fleshed out flashbacks so that part doesn’t get completely left out). But that’s not what we’re talking about here.

Now, with all my grievances of Midoriya settled… Bakugo.

Before I go to deep into AntiBaku mode, let me just say right now: I kinda get what he was going for.

He’s not being an arrogant loudmouth like usual because he’s letting his ego talk; he’s doing it because that’s what’s familiar to him AND to Midoriya. Midoriya is used to Bakugo when he acts like that, he hasn’t shown any serious signs of not being receptive to Bakugo when he’s like that (at least not recently), so Bakugo uses that in the hopes that maybe that familiarity will get Midoriya to stop and think. It’s worked before, right?

And in all fairness, maybe those insults are trying to get to Midoriya, too. He’s not thinking of OFA as some grand blessing, he’s not trying to be another All Might (the manga went as far to show us how much Izuku does NOT look like a traditional hero right now), so maybe Midoriya will stop and try to reason with his friends, and maybe come to reason with himself as well.

...or he’ll think Baku is full of s*** trying to set him off and just keep moving along, both out of annoyance and thinking Bakugo doesn’t really understand.

(This is where trying to understand Bakugo ends by the way.)

Because all of the above is assuming that Bakugo is approaching normal circumstances. Which he’s not.

Midoriya is tired, both mentally and physically. Midoriya has a very, VERY bad person trying to cut him off from everything, and everyone, and it’s working. Midoriya is under the impression that if he doesn’t keep moving, if he doesn’t try to fix this mess that HE signed up for, people that don’t deserve to get hurt are going to get hurt.

All Might is one of those people. His friends and classmates are some of those people. BAKUGO is one of those people.

And right now, all Bakugo is doing is getting in close proximity, doing what he usually does. He’s not changing his approach to throw Midoriya off, because he’s not that kinda person. He’s trying to talk Izuku down because that is his usual approach, and it’s worked before. Even if Midoriya ultimately contradicted his words, he’s always at least acknowledged Bakugo and what he’s had to say. So Bakugo’s trying to get him to realize how it looks from his perspective: Midoriya is getting a big head, he’s not ready for this responsibility, he’s not supposed to be this way.

...but that’s not what Midoriya’s hearing.

Right now, if I had to guess, the only thing Midoriya is processing right now is that he’s not enough. All Bakugo’s taunts are doing is inflaming his inferiority complex, reminding him that he’s not doing enough. He’s not a “Majesty… successor of One For All” because he’s NOT focusing on the clout, and from Midoriya’s perspective, he’s been doing a s*** job of helping people after the Nagant fiasco and with tracking down AFO and Shigaraki in general. He’s not an “All Might wannabe” because All Might can’t help right now, and even if he could, he’d be doing a lot better in Izuku’s eyes, because even if Toshinori Yagi was human, painfully so, All Might was always, ALWAYS, the #1 Hero for a reason.

...and how can Midoriya live up to that? What has he done to live up to that, to live up to ANYTHING, really?

Midoriya isn’t focusing on how much he’s done. He’s focusing on how much he hasn’t done.

“I can still move…” ...becuase I haven’t moved enough. Because I haven’t done enough.

With that said, time to switch topics: Bakugo’s understanding of the situation, while more extensive than anyone else, is also limited in its own right. I have problems with him claiming he knows All Might and Midoriya better than anyone else because of the sequence of events leading up to that are, realistically speaking (shocking, I know), completely contrived (aftermath of the Battle Trial, DvK2, subsequent invitation to secret OFA meetings). But that’s also because really, there’s a lack of complete awareness on Bakugo’s part, which isn’t expected, but still important.

Neither Bakugo nor Midoriya (nor the readers/viewers, really) know the full extent of All Might’s history as Toshinori Yagi. Midoriya probably knows a lot more of it than Bakugo does from a purely personal perspective, but that’s still not much, so Bakugo’s claim of knowing All Might is kinda :/ Then what about Izuku? Well…

Bakugo is willing to acknowledge that he bullied Midoriya. Bakugo is willing to acknowledge that Midoriya’s sense of self-worth is non-existent. But has Bakugo ever really acknowledged the impact he personally had on the latter?

Bakugo has been willing to see that the way he treated Midoriya was unjust, I won’t deny that. But as of now, we have yet to see Bakugo properly, explicitly realize that HE is the major contributor to Midoriya’s lack of self-worth. As far as Bakugo’s concerned, this is just another thing that Midoriya’s been doing since he was a kid. Except the fact that it’s not. Midoriya’s selflessness was always there.

...his lack of self-preservation came later.

And that’s the crux of the issue, really (finally, no more babbling): Bakugo is trying to tell Midoriya that he isn’t enough, but Midoriya is used to that. He grew up with it, heard it on repeat, internalized it. Not just from Bakugo, even if he was at some point a major contributor. And that’s Midoriya’s driving force: he’s not enough, he needs to do more, he can’t stop. There’s logic in Bakugo’s approach, but first off, it’s f***ing stupid logic, and second, logic doesn’t translate well to emotion. Even if Bakugo is doing what he’s doing with Izuku’s well-being in mind, he’s completely missing the point and kinda coming off as a dick, both externally and from a meta standpoint.

Izuku Midoriya doesn’t need Katsuki Bakugo trying to talk him down. He’s used to that.

Izuku Midoriya needs someone to tell him he’s done enough, plain and simple. No backhanded compliments, no workaround taunts. He needs someone like All Might- no, someone like Toshinori Yagi. He needs someone who is willing to tell him, in no uncertain terms, that he is enough, that he’s done enough.

More than enough people have already acknowledged Katsuki Bakugo.

Not enough people have truly acknowledged Izuku Midoriya.

TL;DR: Midoriya needs help, but the way Bakugo is going about it could actually backfire and feels shortsighted.

-Crimson Lion (9 July 2021)

#anti bakugo #anti bakugou #kinda #just to be safe #meta #long post #rant #vent #not putting it in the main tag #but this is about midoriya and bakugo just so y'all know #and obviously this is about ch 319 #just putting it like this so people aren't completely in the dark if they're reading the tags #Word Count: 1633 #incoherent rambling #i think i forgot some of the other stuff i wanted to say #i did say more than enough tbf #...intentions aside #i still don't get why people are more focused on bakugo's issues more than midoriya's #with midoriya we see he's going down the deep end and we automatically recognize it for what it is #but with bakugo people come up with every justification under the sun because 'no he's not being an asshole. he has a reason!'#izuku has his reasons too. they don't mean s***. he's being self-destructive. his reasons be damned.#same goes for baku continuing to act like it hasn't already been a year. i don't care about his reasons or what he thinks he knows.#he's still acting like an ass. he's still trying to be an alpha male. he's still demeaning izuku (intentionally or otherwise) and has yet t #properly acknowledge the part he played in making izuku feel worthless.#no amount of reason covers for destroying someone's self-worth. it's still wrong.#...a'ight i'm done.#wonder how things are gonna go on from here. there isn't a guarantee for the story's direction.#...not sure whether to be curious or terrified. i'll be both.#again there's more i can say but i already used up most of the tags lol #might make another post but that's honestly a coin flip. still a possibility though.

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the-mother-of-lions · 3 years ago

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Elyan is a Slytherin

and I’ll tell you why. Buckle up, yall

Most of the fandom puts Elyan in Ravenclaw or Gryffindor. Both valid choices and Elyan absolutely displays qualities of those houses!

However, those qualities are also commonly found in Slytherins and if we take a closer look, you’ll see that Elyan displays far more Slytherin personality traits.

Let’s start with SELF-PRESERVATION

Thanks to Gwen in 3x07, we know that Elyan left home at a young age. Personally, I put him around 16 for that.

While we aren’t given a real reason for Elyan leaving home at this age, but I think it’s because he just didn’t want the life that was being pushed upon him. He didn’t want to be a blacksmith, he didn’t want to take over the “family business” and be stuck in one spot like his father. He wanted more, he wanted to see the world and experience things beyond Camelot, beyond living in the shadow of the citadel.

(I think his mother was like this too, but that’s neither here nor there)

So what does Elyan do, the first chance he really gets? He leaves.

I imagine it was very dramatic; packing a bag in the middle of the night, accidentally waking Gwen who is trying to understand but doesn’t really. She gives him a disappointed smile but doesn’t try to stop him.

This is kind of a selfish thing for Elyan to do! Yes, he is a teenager at this point so his worldview is still kind of limited, but to 16-year-old Elyan, this feels like the best course of action. This is how he gets out of a life he doesn’t want. It’s incredibly self-preserving and this trait will serve him well while he’s away from home.

DETERMINATION

To make it on your own as a (black) peasant teenager, you would have to be incredibly determined. Life for him would not be easy and he would face numerous challenges on his travels. From earning money, finding water and food and shelter, this is going to be a hard life!

It’s not romantic, this isn’t something that Elyan, or anyone, would really have an easy time with. He would have to rely on his determination to find something better, to achieve his personal goals, to keep going instead of returning home.

This leads into RESOURCEFULNESS (clever and cunning)

Can any of you remember what kind of skills you had at 16? Because it’s not much.

Growing up a peasant, it’s unlikely that Elyan had really ever learned to fight with a sword despite being around the ones his father makes (unless Tom knew, but it’s debatable that he knew more than the basics). So Elyan would have to learn to defend himself, learn to use the weapons that he knows how to make.

In 3x12, we do see Elyan pick up and be very interested in an axe (as well as those promo photos of him with an axe). It stands to reason that Elyan knows how to use a wide range of weapons and use them very well (The Whole Package deleted scene anyone?).

Going back to determination, Elyan would need to eat and find safe places to sleep. You would have to be resourceful to figure it out, to be able to feed yourself without anywhere to really store food long term. He would always be looking for his next meal and figuring out where he would be sleeping that night.

In 3x07, Gwen asks Elyan what he’s done to land them in Cenred’s clutches. This alludes to the idea that Elyan is in trouble a lot, was in trouble a lot growing up. Learning to be clever and cunning takes time and practice and I think that Elyan was always getting into trouble because his plans and whatever he had been doing didn’t quite pan out. But as he gets older, he gets better at it.

But trouble always finds Elyan

AMBITION

A hallmark of Slytherins is ambition. Wanting more, having goals, and working to attain them.

Elyan wants more than his provincial life > he leaves

When he does return, I think he stayed out of a desire, an ambition, to get closer to Gwen, to rebuild that bridge he burned when he was a teenager. He still wants more though, he still wants to have something else.

I personally think that he fully planned on leaving again once things with Gwen were better, once she had gotten married (whether it was to Arthur or someone else). But then 3x12 and 3x13 happen and suddenly Elyan is getting knighted! He achieves that goal of wanting more. Now he can travel and leave and do different things often without the monotony of a peasants life.

This leads into the last trait I’ll talk about today:

LOYALTY

Loyalty is a quality of most of the houses, and it’s an important quality to have. But what makes it unique to Slytherins and Elyan in particular is how they are loyal. Elyan is not an overtly or immediately loyal person. This is evidenced by him leaving at a young age, not sticking it out like Gwen did.

Elyan’s loyalty needs to be earned, he needs to be shown that you are someone that he can be loyal to. He has the most shown relationships with the other knights and I think he’s incredibly loyal to the core knights because those are relationships that are forged in fire, he met these people while storming a castle and fighting a literal army with only a handful of people. That’s such a huge moment, it’s such a life altering moment. How many other people can say they’ve done that?

And then going on quests, doing knightly things would only strength his bond to them.

Gwen earned his loyalty again when she came back for him in 3x07. She could have left, could have said that Elyan had chosen to leave and he got what he deserved. But she didn’t (she wouldn’t, but Elyan doesn’t know that), and therefore earned adult Elyan’s loyalty.

All this to say, Elyan is a Slytherin.

I’m not really into Harry Potter, don’t really care about it if we’re being super honest, but I do love the dichotomy of the houses.

Slytherin is not a bad house and putting a character in that house does not automatically make them a villainous or problematic character.

Slytherin’s are survivors. They’re leaders. And Elyan is the epitome of a Slytherin.

@elyan-fest

#bbc merlin #elyan appreciation fest #elyan #character study #merlin x hogwarts #elyan x hogwarts #slytherin!elyan #elyan my beloved #slytherin #my gifs #lion gifs #i will not be accepting criticism at this time #but you are welcome to discuss it with me!#pls talk to me about elyan

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writcraft · 3 years ago

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Hello! How would compare and contrast Snarry vs Drarry? Since you have (beautifully!) written both, I’d love to hear your thoughts on the dynamics of these two ships. Thank you!

Hello Anon, thank you for this lovely message and what a topic!

I have set out below the cut why I think the dynamics differ but also some of the similarities and it got very, very long. Yikes.

DRACO

Draco is privileged, from a wealthy, pureblood, old wizarding family and immersed in magic from childhood. He's the kind of popular where he has his crew and doesn't really care if the Gryffindors don't like him, he is athletic and bright and he is described in a way that suggests he is attractive. Up until the point things really start to go wrong for Draco, he leads a relatively charmed life. He is a product of his upbringing, of his upper class status, he experiences a childhood where he is spoiled, loved and doted on, albeit he appears to be subject to high expectations of academic excellence and sporting prowess. With his friends he appears to be something of the ringleader and generally liked. He gravitates towards Voldemort because it's really all he's known, he's born into it. At first it seems Draco's views are driven by his desire to protect the things he values (wealth, status, power) and the privilege he has become accustomed to and, in the end, he sticks around primarily out of fear and self preservation. Draco exhibits moments of cowardice.

SEVERUS

Severus has an entirely different upbringing. He is working class, has a tense relationship with his parents, he is disliked and bullied at school which leaves him isolated, he gravitates towards solitary intellectual pursuits and he is described in a way that suggests he is supposed to be unattractive (although this reader would argue he has a certain magnetic charge). Lily aside, his relationships as a child seem to be shaped by a fascination with the power that comes with wealth and elitism, something he has never experienced. Sirius describes him as Lucius Malfoy's 'lap dog' and it is telling that Lucius is much older, a Prefect when Severus starts Hogwarts. He is radicalised in a way and gravitates towards Voldemort through a greedy hunger for power, a desire for revenge and a desperate desire to change his lot in life. He stays because, well, we all know why he stays. Severus is brave but grudgingly, acerbically so. The deepest insult he confronts is being called a coward by Harry.

FIRST ENCOUNTERS

Aside from the differences in their characters, the way Harry encounters Severus and Draco is completely different. When we meet Severus in canon, he is bitter, angry, jealous, grieving and indebted to Dumbledore. He is also in a position of power as Harry's professor. When we meet Draco, he is Harry's peer but he is also full of himself, an arrogant little shit who thinks the world is his for the taking and he thinks very little of Dumbledore, because father says...

This shapes Harry's encounters with them both. Severus approaches Harry with animosity, venom and a legacy of hurt that Harry doesn't yet understand. Severus places no weight on Harry's celebrity, he actively resents and despises it. Draco, by contrast, values Harry's celebrity initially. He wants to be friends with the wizarding world's brightest star and the animosity that follows between them flows directly from the sting of Harry's initial rejection.

ONGOING RELATIONSHIP

Severus wilfully misunderstands Harry. He draws connections between Harry and James based solely on their striking physical similarities and (incorrectly) ascribes the characteristics of James to Harry. He is tasked with protecting Harry but he does so always through gritted teeth. The curse of Severus Snape is to spend his life protecting someone who represents everything he despised as a child and yet the only person who can give a dying man that last connection to his one true friend.

Draco sees Harry more clearly but his perspective is shaped by jealousy and the sting of that first encounter, which leads him to make fun of Harry's circumstances and the people he associates himself with. He doesn't misunderstand Harry in the way Severus does, but he also doesn't know him fully.

MAGICAL CONNECTIONS

The magic that connects Harry, Draco and Severus is fascinating. Harry famously uses Sectumsempra on Draco without knowing what impact it will have. He then intentionally uses the same spell on Severus (unsuccessfully) knowing exactly the damage it will do. Not only does the use of the spell in both instances show us a darker side to Harry, but the spell was also created by Severus and he is the one that helps Draco after the spell has been cast. I could write an essay on the links this spell creates between those three characters.

Expelliarmus is another one. Severus teaches Harry this spell and in doing so, equips him with his most powerful tool in the fight against Voldemort. Harry disarms Draco of his wand and the implications of that in terms of the final battle are intrinsically connected to the 'signature move' of Harry's in battle, which is all about gaining possession of the wand of the attacker as opposed to trying to target the attacker themselves.

Avada Kedavra is also something that binds the three of them. Harry witnesses Draco failing to cast the Killing Curse, and simultaneously witnesses Severus easily casting it. This also is part of the broader relationship Harry, Draco and Severus have to Dumbledore. Harry and Severus are willing pawns in the master plan but neither are fully equipped with all the information they need. Draco ends up unwittingly being part of the plan but he is never a soldier of Dumbledore's Army in the way Harry explicitly is and Severus, with a gnashing of his teeth, also is.

Finally, one of the important similarities between Severus and Draco is they are both skilled Occlumens, something Harry is notoriously rubbish at. This skill suggests both are better able to bury and compartmentalise their emotions whereas Harry is unable to do so with any success and this plays into the fact that in both ships, Harry is likely to be the more demonstrative, wearing his heart on his sleeve in a way both Draco and Severus can better disguise/suppress.

DIFFERENT DYNAMICS

With all of the above the dynamics between Drarry and Snarry will always have a different slant, even if Harry himself is essentially the same. By way of sweeping overstatement, Snarry tends to skew darker and heavier because there is much more to overcome, but by contrast Severus has also spent his 'canon' years protecting Harry which creates this bitter 'Guardian Angel' type dynamic that, if you ship it, can be intensely romantic when they encounter one another again as adults.

The age difference lends itself to different dynamics too. Harry and Draco have that potential for young, dumb and in love, working things out, exploring, eighth year and spin the bottle sort of stuff that Snarry doesn't really have in the same way. It feels more natural that Harry and Draco would encounter one another as peers from the same year group, so part of the battle with Snarry is working out how Harry and Severus end up in the same spaces together in adulthood (Snape's canon death being a pesky inconvenience). The age difference raises another important difference in dynamic too, when it comes to the experience of Severus and Draco as gay or bisexual men, if you apply Muggle attitudes to same-sex relationships that have shifted over time.

The age difference is also relevant because there is a capacity for Draco to change his ways as he grows up, but Severus has already long changed his political beliefs and we know Severus as an adult in canon. That's not to say adults can't change their beliefs of course, but because his adult character exhibits moments of real cruelty you have a challenge around how this irascible, often mean, sharp-tongued character can give Harry what he yearns for when it comes to affection, love, family, security and so on.

There are hurdles to overcome with both ships and although the core 'enemies to lovers' starting point may create a similar overarching dynamic, the roots of those hurdles, the scale of them and the ways and ease with which they get resolved will differ because ultimately Draco and Severus are very different characters with quite polarised life experiences. They have some similarities, Occlumency aside, such as fostering beliefs during childhood they reject around the same time in their lives, albeit for very different reasons. Both are Slytherins who, their magical skills would suggest, are capable of pushing their emotions down in a way Harry can't, when everything for him is raw, on the surface, now, even though they both also unleash their emotions at various points. They are both prone to dramatics, to anger, to pettiness, to humour and in many respects, Harry is prone to those things too. In general though, I believe Draco and Severus would approach a relationship with Harry quite differently.

I don't think there's any one easy way to pinpoint the different dynamics in general because there is a huge variety of ways these three can be presented in fanfic, with its own plot, worldbuilding, external factors and so on. There are so many different directions you could go in with Snarry and Drarry so I'm only speaking from some of the things that strike me not only about the Severus/Harry and Draco/Harry connections/potential hurdles but also about the links between the three of them. Ultimately I think there is opportunity for deep connection, discovery, levity, passion and of course, delicious angst and UST with both ships, but they tend to manifest a little differently for all the reasons outlines about.

There's so much more I can say, but I'll leave it there. Thank you, Anon!

#snarry #drarry #meta #asks

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youwontlikethisblog · 3 years ago

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The Art of Subtlety in YSBTLF

Now I have yet to really talk about Betty and her development. Currently I'm on the episode where Betty goes to the bank to secure a loan through Terra Moda and it got me thinking.

Slowly we've been seeing the change from Armando's behavior towards her. Now it's been very subtle. One of my favorite scenes that display's the subtlety of his behavior is when Betty and him are being driven around by Don Hermes.

Right as they are leaving the building where they went to sign some documents to start the process of Terra Moda seizing Eco Moda Betty and Armando are talking.

She often jokes about her ugliness and as a person who in society has been outcaste by the mere fact I'm fat, I get that. We don't use it as a way to downplay our worth, better yet to find the humor in something that hurts us deeply. This is something Betty does often. Usually Armando agrees or goes along with it. The scene however caught my attention because after Betty jokes that she didn't get hired due to her ugliness she laughs and walks away and Armando stays behind and nods slightly, as if understanding that her ugliness could cause that BUT we then hear Don Hermes lovingly say "My beautiful daughter, did everything go well?" and Armando's face lights up. He sports a slight smile and stares at Betty as she laughs and tells her dad that everything went well.

The more I watch this show the more I realize that we see a lot of contrast between Betty and Armando's personal lives. While Betty's parents are very present in her life, constantly at the fore front of her ethics and morals as well as there to keep her grounded and realistic, though at times one can assume over baring and over protective, her parents love her deeply and you can tell. They treat her as their most precious possession.

However Armando's parents are a different story. His father always expects the worst of him, his mother coddles him but with conditions. His parents are only ever shown or involved when it comes to the company and/or his relationship with Marcela. Often when they do talk it's always about the company or again the relationship he's in with Marcela. It never goes more than that. We don't see them interact outside of that which causes that parental relationship to seem cold and distant. Kind of like a trophy child. Not really there to celebrate or show love when times are bad. Just there when things are on their terms. They show more interest in Daniel, Marcela, and Beatriz than they do to Armando and even then it's not saying much. In shorter terms, they suck.

So this scene in particular is one of my favorites for that reason. We see Armando, who at first was annoyed and being all pipirs nice to then engaging in conversation, joking, and letting his guard down and that's the thing. Often we see Armando with his guard up but around Betty slowly we begin to see him let his guard down.

Now in particular the reason why I bring this up is because from the get go I've always been interested in the complexities that Armando's character offers, but Betty is this different story. While Armando is complex in dark ways, Betty is complex is light ways. Her complexities aren't a form of harm rather a form of self preservation but still seeing the best in people, while Armando's complexities are in self preservation at the cost of others.

They both struggle in a sense with self worth. While Betty's self worth is rooted in her image and the way society treats her due to her not being societies beauty standers, Armando's self worth struggles are deeply rooted in his person's worth. Meaning that he doesn't find himself worthy as a human if he isn't succeeding, which makes him extremely arrogant. Betty's insecurities make her extremely humble and though being humble isn't a bad thing when there is no balance, her self worth is to the ground and due to this she allows people to step all over her and she often is a people pleaser because of this.

She lets people push her around and doesn't stand her ground when people are rude to her about her appearance. She does when it comes to her work but not as person and because of this she begins to idolize Armando because, unlike everyone before, he sees her as a person, when it comes to work.

This draws the lines, clean and crisp lines.

At work Armando defends her. He defends his decision to hire her. He defends her degrees and her experiences as an economist. This means a lot to her, because as mentioned before, she wasn't getting hired due to her "ugliness" and here comes a man that looks past that and hires her over the pretty one. We understand Betty's crush. We understand why she begins to idolize him even though he shows really crappy behavior at times.

First he constantly yells at her, laughs behind her back, allows his best friend to secretly see her as if she were this attraction in the tent of strange and ugly phenomena at the circus. To then being subtly annoyed when certain people mock her and make fun of her, though this gets him half points because he still allows his best friend to do this.

To end my analysis of Armando's behavior towards Betty up to this point I'll say that as this continues Armando begins to soften up towards her and while no one else picks up on it, Betty does. Which feeds her idolization of him.

Up to this point of the show Betty has been unconditional, even when she has needed to set aside her true feelings for him, she places his before her own. With Claudia, instead of ruining his night she stayed in the room all night long to which later we see Armando feel guilty over it but he gets no gold stars over that. That was a dick move.

Betty constantly shows loyalty, unconditionality, support, and most of all, team work. When he fails she always places herself to take the blame with him. She doesn't let him feel alone in his failures. Betty truly shows to love him. As a friend, as her boss, and as a girl who idolizes him and this moves him because to this point Armando hasn't had that. His parents do not show him unconditionality. His fiancé shows no team work or support and his best friend... he sucks. He is a terrible friend. Here is this girl who gives him all of this and for what? She doesn't ask for anything in return except to work for him. That's why we see the subtle change in him and Betty deserved that and more.

When they went to that cocktail with RagTela, where Armando started to hit on Ms. Colombia, I forgot her name, Betty doesn't seem jealous or hurt by that. In fact she seems unbothered and stayed in her lane, once again the lines being crisp and clean. However later on, when Betty tells Armando that they've got a meeting with Macro Textil and she sees Armando's face light up and ask how he looks, we see a subtle change, jealousy. She showed some of that with Claudia but Armando probably interpreted that as Betty being frustrated that due to that she had to sleep in the office that night. Here he doesn't pick up on it. She laughs dry only to cover her tracks and gets the man his cologne and throughout their meeting with Macro she shows to be a good wing-woman, minding her business of course.

Now let me skip some scenes. They're trying to negotiate a payment plan with Macro Textil. At this point what Armando has said isn't very convincing and Betty steps in, our bright Betty manages to say stuff that makes them think over their offer. At this point Armando has had all eyes on Ms. Colombia but he turns to watch her, with a slight smile on his face, a brief second of staring at her lips and completely absorbed into what Betty is saying and doing.

Now I want to bring us back to the main scene of this post. Betty sitting across her old boss. We have seen two scenes of her old boss and her interact before. Not only to drive the plot, but I believe to show the difference between a boss who was fond of Betty, after all he did say he was happy and pleased to help her with Terra Moda after being her boss for two years and a boss who is... more than fond of her but confused about it(to be fair Armando is so stupid when it comes to feelings the dude isn't even aware he's got them to begin with.) Betty's behavior is respectful and friendly towards her old boss. You can tell she's comfortable talking to him and so on and her old boss is the same. He's respectful and friendly towards her.

Why do I think this is important to the plot of the story?

It got me thinking. When I was working I got pretty close to my manager. He was married and older than me and we got along great. We talked, we joked, we had work discussions and we'd talk about life and stuff. However it was always very respectful and friendly, like a boss and their employee. My manager was very gentleman like. He didn't let me carry heavy stuff(As a fat woman I'm not used to that lol) however the line was there, Boundaries were there. Obviously we didn't have conversations that were too personal or even that personal at all. I could see Betty and her ex-boss being the same. A simple boss to employee friendship but if I had a... ship of sorts with my boss like Betty does with Armando my sensors of red flags would be blaring.

Think about your greatest friendship with one of your bosses. It's respectful and friendly but you don't cross lines, right?

Now I keep comparing their behavior to my manager's and mine.

That is why they show us, unlike with all the other Banks Betty has talked to, their interactions. To show a clear and distinct line of work related ships. Her ex-boss is truly fond of her but he doesn't cross boundaries and neither does Betty.

My ex-manager was respectful and we talked like an older brother and younger sister would. That was our work dynamic.

Betty's behavior has always been respectful and friendly towards Armando. Their work dynamic has been that she's the smart one and he's the pretty one and it works for them.

Betty's emotions start to blur when Armando's behavior towards her starts to blur. We go from seeing back to back scenes that show separate life styles and personal lives to having them blend in and once their personal lives begin to blend in so do their work lives.

During this day, before Betty goes to talk to her old boss, we are shown the scene when she tells him that Macro Textil was on their way to sign a contract with them that very day. Armando is between Betty and Mario and he talks to Betty. Constantly saying "Betty we did it!" and things along those lines but after each sentence he goes to Mario and repeats the same thing up until he goes to hug Betty.

[EDIT: This allows us to view Armando's personal dilema. Your brain often blurts the first thing that comes to mind and seeing as Armando isn't that bright when emotions are involved, he blurts out the first thing that comes to mind and that is Betty. His first thought is to talk to Betty, to celebrate with her (since she is the reason why that business deal is even happening) but he is prioritizing her, picking up on it and then going to his best friend to celebrate it as well. It shows us subtly the change in him.]

He doesn't even do that to his best friend. Once again, the lines blur. Armando is the first person in this work related relationship to blur the lines and Betty follows suit.

Yes, the hug was work related. Yes he was excited over the fact they could release the new fashion collection they'd been working on BUT he hadn't done that for other deals that they had managed. He didn't do that with the first collection he launched. He's hugged her, up to this point, two other times. Once after the meeting with Daniel where Betty gave him lessons on economics and later when Betty was crying.

This is their third hug. I'm not reading into that hug but what follows before and after.

As I said when writing we're told to keep what drives the plot, character development, and overall story; everything else is thrown out the window. So these subtle changes, behaviors, and quirks we begin to see coming from Betty's interactions with Armando explain why it was so easy for her to be manipulated by this man. They are important because they are meant to show us what is okay and what is not. What is normal and what is not and in small ways their work dynamic begins to shift and the first person to do that is Armando.

because he didn't feed the illusion of love when that sinister plan was created, he fed it when he started to get confused about her. When he started to blur the lines.

Betty didn't just idolatrized him because he defended her work. She did it because he fed her feelings towards him. When Betty showed loyalty he showed to be more fond of her. He went from constantly yelling at her, being indifferent towards her, to trying to watch his tone and temper. When Betty showed unconditionality he showed kindness. When Betty showed support he showed loyalty and little by little we begin to see these two blur the line between personal and work.

The changes are really subtle that they fly over your head but when you pay attention to the actual story and not the romance you can tell when they start and that is one reason why I love this novela because very much like real life these changes are subtle.

Betty's love was really subtle and you can pick up on when she starts to fall in love, whereas with Armando his change goes from being so subtle that you're confused yourself to it being so bam in your face you can't deny it.

In any aspect their relationship begins to blur during these episodes and the clear contrast of that is with seeing Betty interact with her old Boss at the bank.

In the future episodes this theory is proven right when we no longer get clear cuts of scenes that show the difference between their personal lives better yet we get a very muddy and blurry view of their personal and work lives.

Betty's moral, ethics, and emotions begin to change when Armando begins to change. Up to this point Betty has been consistent with her morality, though close to stumbling her father has been there to keep her on the right path. She has been the sweet and loving person she's always been but her character has been consistent up to this point and it's important to note that and why everything that happens after this is the way it is because as an audience we have been warn over and over again and so have these characters but just like in real life we don't always pay attention to the subtle changes until their domino effect starts to make too much impact.

also sorry if this doesn't make any sense it's currently 6:40 am and I've been writing this since like four lol.

#ysblf #beatriz pinzón solano #betty la fea #yo soy betty la fea #don armando #armando mendoza #analysis of ysblf #armando ysblf #betty pinzón solano #betty ysblf #don hermes #nicolas mora #marcela valencia

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animeomegas · 3 years ago

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What's been your favorite omega to write so far? Who would you want to partner with if you had to pick the one who suits your personality best?!

Ahh, who would I pick as a mate if I was in these universes? Hmm, that's such a tricky question!

I think the main difficulty I would have would be the fact that I don't want children. This would mean that, despite my love for writing characters like non-massacre Itachi or Gaara, we would never be compatible in real life.

I think from Naruto, I would probably be the most compatible with... Iruka! I'm a super passionate person with a super high work ethic, and I'm very independent so I feel like we would match well. Iruka is neither here nor there on children because he likes ot have time to dedicate to his students (in canon he had no children of course), so that would work super well. He would be in the village a lot, and not on missions, and I'm happy with Naruto hanging around because I like older children and he deserves the best and I love him. Also, I feel like Iruka could communicate very healthily and there's nothing sexier than that 😉 There's a reason why he's my profile pic!

(I also feel like me and Kankuro would either get on very very well or hate each other and I can't decide which.)

In terms of from other fandoms.... It's really tough because I love a lot of them but in real life we wouldn't be compatible. Like, I love Mammon, but I really don't agree with gambling and I could never be in a relationship with someone who gambles because I would be so stressed all the time. Not to mention the age/power gap would be incredibly inappropriate. Again, I love Yoosung, but he definitely would want a child....

I also find it very difficult to understand people with very low self-esteem or people who act in ways I would consider extremely illogical and are stubborn about trying new ways, so characters like Levi, V, L etc. would not be suited to me despite the fact that I adore them as characters.

Perhaps Saeran and I would get on very well, maybe that's my answer. I think he'd be happy without children, and I love my home to be quiet and peaceful because I don't like stressful home environments. I love walking around and being in gardens but I have no interest in gardening so Saeran could have full control but I would still appreciate it. And my lactose intolerance might seem like an issue with his ice cream addiction, but I can just buy myself ice lollies and Saeran can have all the ice cream to himself!

And from 7kpp, for the people who have played that, Lyon is my absolute favourite and I think be would be so unbelievably compatible... except for the fact that he would probably have to have children to preserve his line, and that certainly isn't happening with me lol.

Thanks for asking this fun question!

#naruto #bnha #death note #mystic messenger #obey me #mha #7kpp #asks #anon

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amyisherenowitsokay · 3 years ago

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You know what just to SPICE it up a bit imma say zadr too bitch

This bitch tryna give me arthritis smdh. Making me out myself for my dual-ship on main, can't even believe a bitch.

PRE-RELATIONSHIP

1. How did they first meet?

School. We must never forget the infamous handcuffs scene.

2. What was their first impression of each other?

Pure, unrivaled loathing.

3. Did any of their friends or family want them to get together?

Gaz said "kiss already" and throws things at them when they're getting too far away from "I want you dead" territory and well into "you want to fuck me so bad and it makes you look stupid" territory. Professor Membrane thinks they're adorable.

4. Who felt romantic feelings first?

Dib. Hormones get the best of us all. You can only be obsessed with someone so long before motivations get blurry.

5. Did either of them try to resist their feelings?

Zim would nearly break his PAK and commit accidental die trying to delete the emotions or install an emotional inhibitor. Dib would have a full mental breakdown trying to sort through it, which would manifest poorly in his behavior and negatively impact his ability to engage in their usual altercations. Pro tip: if you are painfully attracted to someone, being in a position where they pin you to the asphalt or lean over your desk to hiss insults at you is a bad idea.

6. If you had told one of them that the other would be their soulmate, what would they think?

I stand by what I said on my ZAGR post in that Zim doesn't know what a soulmate is, or the concept of a soul, but given this is in regards to his arch-nemesis instead of a creature he's mostly indifferent too, he'd be pissed at the insinuation he was in any way bound to Dib. Dib's fragile psyche would not survive the revelation.

7. What would their lives be like if they had never met?

Really empty. Their rivalry and parallel situations regarding neglectful authority figures is what keeps them going for so many years.

GENERAL

1. Who initiated the relationship, and how did it go?

As someone who thinks Zim doesn't understand even the concept of not being a possessive jackass, I think Zim just sort of concludes after awhile that, regardless of Dib's feelings, or even Zim's own feelings, whatever they have makes them wholly and entirely each other's. Just completely and hilariously misunderstanding the concept of a relationship, but still being incredibly presumptive in assuming they already have one. He also doesn't let Dib know of this revelation either, so eventually Dib explodes about his crush, and Zim's like "we are already together???? moron???" Dib could argue, and he kind of wants to, but he also never expected Zim to reciprocate, so he just sort of nods and is like "you know what, sure" and that's the end of it. They do not have an anniversary, but Dib's not really like that, and Zim doesn't know anniversaries are a thing anyways.

2. Did they have an official first date? If so, what was it like?

Again, stealing from my own ZAGR post, but I don't think Zim's really a 'date' person who would plan out that sort of thing. Dib is an awkward moron with arguably worse social skills than even Zim, and mentally comes to the conclusion that dragging Zim on investigations is basically like a date, and Zim doesn't bitch about it anymore than expected, therefore he is a master of romance, so it's fine.

3. What was their first kiss like?

Awkward, and quick. Dib is not a great communicator, nor is he great at explaining things like human demonstrations of affection, especially not when Zim's scowling impatiently at him through is fumbling and stuttering. He just goes for it, and it's quick and he misses his mouth almost. Zim is extremely surprised, especially when Dib makes terrible excuses about needing to be elsewhere and flees. Zim does his own research, and their second kiss is predated by a lecture about being better than Dib at everything/Dib being bad at everything. It is much more successful, even if afterwards Dib instigates a fight about Zim's tongue being weird.

4. Were they each other’s first anything (kiss, relationship, etc.)?

First everything, except kiss. Gretchen kissed Dib in high school as a dare. Zim will never forgive her for it.

5. What’s their height difference? Age difference?

I'd die to make them the same height, but I think the image of Zim being average height while Dib is a gangly big boi is just too funny. Zim would be pissed, and Dib would be so smug but so uncoordinated.

6. What’s their relationship with each other’s families?

Gaz interacts with them as minimally as possible, because they are loud and gross and annoying, but she's okay with Zim overall. They have a mutual understanding that Dib is stupid, completely reckless, and requires constant supervision to keep him from getting eaten by a ghoul or something. Gaz does genuinely trust him to skewer anything that tries to kill her brother, but she also knows that Dib isn't the only one with 0 sense of self-preservation. Dib was initially wary of Professor Membrane's reaction, because his dad is sort of unpredictable when it comes to his only son, but the Professor's only commentary is that he is glad his son finally made it official with his 'little green friend.' Dib then realizes that the implication in that perpetual comment about Zim had air quotes around that "friend" part all along.

Dib thinks Gir's gross and loud and doesn't get him, but he likes to team up with him and/or use him as a means to annoy Zim. The Base hates him, because now there's two morons with no sense of self-preservation that it needs to keep track of. Minimoose and Dib are bros.

7. Who takes the lead in social situations?

Zim, if only because he is arguably more 'charming' than Dib's fumbling attempts at communication with non-paranormal parties.

8. Who gets jealous easier?

Zim. Dib I think would have his 'HTTYD Hiccup moment' as he gets older, but still has that ingrained low self-esteem from years of ridicule and abuse. He is completely oblivious to the new attention he gets. Zim, however, is not. Dib never really notices the cause of his weird snarling and clinginess, but he shrugs it off as Zim just being weird and continues with whatever he was doing.

9. Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear?

Zim is a slut, I will die on this hill.

LOVE

1. Who said “I love you” first?

Dib. He says it casually, in the dark, when they're on a stake-out to find some wood goblin or something. He says it like he's talking about something plane and unremarkable.

I think a ZADR relationship would need Zim to be a lot more independent in terms of researching how romantic relationships 'work,' since Dib's not a great communicator, and there's an ingrained rivalry that will never dissolve between them, no matter how many times they kiss, so Zim would be a lot more motivated to figure things out on his own. He would, in this circumstance, know the weight of Dib's way-too-casual admittance, and it would be a huge shock to him. He'd be pretty shaken about it for awhile, and Dib's not bothered when he doesn't reply. Dib would be pretty sure Zim would never admit it, but he does, eventually, because he refuses to be a coward about it.

2. What are their primary love languages?

Verbal affirmations. With their self-esteems firmly in the toilet in Zim's kitchen, being able to have someone validate them who they respect would mean a lot to them.

3. Who uses cheesy pick-up lines?

Dib. He uses it to start fights with Zim about linguistics and metaphors. Also, he's 99.9% positive Zim secretly is flattered by it, but hates that he is.

4. How often do they cuddle/engage in PDA?

Zim is very clingy, but Dib's too on the move to really pin down for a good cuddle frequently. He's twitchy and his minds always racing, but every once in a while when Zim's completely fed up, or Dib's running on fumes but still forcing himself on, Zim will all but pin him to a cushioned surface and force him to sleep. Neither of them are PDA people.

5. Who initiates kisses?

Zim. Dib's really shy about it, and also normally too distracted to pay Zim the attention he so obviously deserves, and often misses Zim's 'signals.'

6. Who’s the big and little spoon?

PAK not comfy against sternum. It's also easier to force Dib to sleep if he's the big spoon, because he can pin his limbs.

7. What are their favorite things to do together?

Paranormal investigations, and morally ambiguous and/or largely dangerous experiments.

8. Who’s better at comforting the other?

Dib, which is hilarious, because he's about as smooth as a cheese grater, but he is very attuned to the person he's been obsessed with for years, and he can also relate to a lot of his issues. While Zim usually shrugs off the sentimentality and the empathy, dismissing it as 'pity,' the affirmation means a lot to him.

9. Who’s more protective?

Zim. He has to anticipate his lover's stupidity to make sure he stays alive to hunt ghosts another day.

10. Do they prefer verbal or physical affection?

Verbal. Hormones are real, but there's something that eases the sting of years of abusive in a crooning praise or a sincere compliment.

11. What are some songs that apply to their relationship, in-universe or otherwise?

https://open.spotify.com/track/3IvUhEVbbA81QnEVhsFHiH?si=b3c5787c9ff14105

12. What kind of nicknames do they call each other?

It is primarily age-old insults that lack the bite and sincerity they once had.

13. Who remembers the little things?

Dib. Zim isn't inattentive by any means, cataloguing all of Dib's weird habits and nuances and what not, but for all the compensating Zim does to keep Dib safe and healthy, Dib reciprocates in meaningful gestures. He remembers to pack Zim-friendly snacks on their road trips and ways to keep Gir entertained, if they have to bring him. He always checks the weather and has an extra coat, just in case. Never makes Zim feel bad about needing to check, just one more time, to see if he got any incoming messages from home.

DOMESTIC LIFE

1. If they get married, who proposes?

Dib.

2. What’s the wedding like? Who attends?

It's just Gaz, Minimoose, and Gir. Membrane is too far away to attend, but that was deliberate. Dib didn't want his tendency to make things about 'the Membrane line' effect the intimacy and importance of the ceremony. Also, Zim insists on incorporating some Irken rituals into it, so it'd be hard to make excuses and explanations to why Zim wants Dib to fuck with his weird pink backpack during their wedding.

3. How many kids do they have, if any? What are they like?

No kiddos. Neither of them would be interested, even if it was biologically possible.

4. Do they have any pets?

Seriously, Gir counts, right?

5. Who’s the stricter parent?

Dib. Zim refuses to parent Gir when Dib is more inclined to do it, since he's more irritated by it.

6. Who worries the most?

Dib has perpetual anxiety. So does Zim, but he masks it better.

7. Who kills the bugs in the house?

Dib, to prevent the gooey grossness that is Gir's bug-breath.

8. How do they celebrate holidays?

Just with Gaz.

9. Who’s more likely to convince the other to come back to sleep in the morning?

Zim will strap Dib to a bed himself to get him to go the fuck to sleep, because it's been over 48 hours you insufferable human, and--!

10. Who’s the better cook?

Dib's idea of cooking is a microwave, salt, and pepper. Zim is forced to learn the wonders of human food to keep his idiot from dying of malnutrition.

11. Who likes to dance?

Gir.

#my hand #is deceased #invader zim #ZADR #asks #Zim #Dib #amyisherenowansweringyou

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michals · 3 years ago

Text

That post reminded me I never actually posted this and it's one of those ‘kind of embarrassing I spent so much time on it but I’m posting it because I spent so much damn time on it’ things.

Klaus and Luther similarities/parallels

So the show doesn’t give us a ton of Luther and Klaus interaction but I think just them being the characters they are they’re really similar and have interesting parallels.

Of all the siblings I think it’s actually Luther and Klaus who are the most diametrically opposed in terms of their place in the Academy and their childhood. Obviously there’s the dynamic between Reggie explicitly calling Luther his favorite and Klaus his biggest disappointment, both of them had high expectations thrust upon them and one excelled and the other failed. But then again Luther was set up to excel and Klaus to fail. For all that Reggie wanted from Klaus he went about it in entirely the wrong way which only hurt Klaus’s abilities, and comparatively Luther’s powers are very straight forward so his training had to be mental in that he became exactly what Reggie wanted him to be.

Basically: Reggie’s abuse had opposite effects on them. Luther was brainwashed and isolated, Klaus was discarded and left to fend for himself. Luther loves/trusts his dad, Klaus hates him. Luther thinks they have a purpose and what they did was worthwhile, Klaus thinks it was all a big joke and meant nothing beyond Reggie’s little experiment. Luther’s at one end of the spectrum, Klaus the other, and everyone else falls somewhere in between.

How they show the effects of their abuse however, is actually more in sync. Klaus has a habit of either ignoring or talking around problems, acting like they’re not problems, or being flippant about them. Klaus acknowledges Reggie’s abuse but it’s usually in a jokey, casual manner, he usually moves on from talking about it quickly without getting too deep. He knows Reggie did a number on them but confronting it head on is difficult. And this is from a character who’s been in multiple rehab centers that obviously include some kind of therapy sessions.

Luther of course outright denies it until he’s faced with it in the worst way, and even then he can’t really get his head around it. One of the first things he did when landing in the 60s was to go to Reggie and expect him to welcome him, even though he doesn’t even know him. And then for all his talk in s2 about having moved on it reads like lip service, it sounds like he knows that’s what he should say, what he should feel, but it’s not entirely working. It’s like he’s just trying to dismiss it to the point where he will literally run away from the conversation. I still think the moment of him telling Sparrowverse Reggie that he’s happy they’re all home and together is a huge sign that he still thinks of Reggie as his dad no matter what.

Klaus and Luther either don’t know how to talk about their trauma or aren’t willing to. Whether it’s that Luther still doesn’t want to face up to it completely or that perhaps he does have the littlest bit of hope that actually Reggie did care and there was/is a chance he might care yet, or with Klaus trying to put the trauma on the backburner so he doesn’t have to relive it or process it in a way that means he won’t be able to drink it away or perhaps be forced to confront the powers that have caused him so much pain.

I also think they are genuinely sensitive. Not in the same way the others are, but empathetic and gentle in ways they never got to explore as children. I think that emotional wounds go much deeper than they let on. They’re always on the cusp of reaching out but not only do they not like dealing with their problems, they were taught not to. If given the chance they’d probably be happy to play support for the others but that wasn’t Reggie’s goal. I can easily imagine Luther as the kind of leader who takes everyone’s plans and thoughts into account and makes sense of it from there, who’s better at dictating than just demanding. And I imagine Klaus would probably be capable of understanding and connecting to his ghosts in a way that helps both him and them if he had been given different training.

Next is how both of them have poor self esteem and what comes across as a passive view of self preservation. Klaus has a very conflicted view of his place within the Academy. Apparently he was regulated to being the ‘look out’ often and wasn’t as active as the others. Obviously this is because of his complicated relationship with his powers and how Reggie treated him within the group dynamic. If he didn’t think Klaus was important (because he wasn’t doing what he was supposed to) then he wasn’t important. Now, having embraced his place as the black sheep of the family, Klaus still doesn’t know where he fits in and often comes across as “useless” (in quotes cause obvs that’s not the whole story, just a simplification).

Just in general he sees himself as an outsider. For all that he’s flippant and casually cocky he’s not actually all that confident in what he’s capable of to the point of not even trying sometimes because he’s convinced he’ll fail. It’s a smokescreen. It goes hand in hand with him not confronting his feelings or trauma, easier to play like he’s confident than to deal with it.

Luther’s self esteem came entirely from his place in the Academy and his father’s opinion and what Reggie made him. Even then his confidence gets shaken all the time when someone doesn’t listen to him or when they argue with him. He too tries to cover this up, Klaus is glib Luther is bossy. Then there’s the whole gorilla body thing, which he is very obviously mortified by. (Side note: interesting contrast in Klaus being usually the least physically covered up sibling and Luther being the most.) He’s wildly ashamed and embarrassed by his appearance. (There’s a whole other point I could make about how Luther only willingly shows his body when he’s being exploited and pummeled – or high – but that’s another post.)

Then Luther’s whole foundation crumbles with the discovery of Reggie’s true nature. He doesn’t have much left after that and then he’s dropped into a foreign world with no one and no way of coping and then Reggie once again lets him down. What’s he do? Gets into a situation that mirrors his relationship with Reggie, lets himself be taken advantage of, does what he’s told to the point of physical harm - because he knows nothing else and the bet is he doesn’t think he deserves better. Then he spends all of season 2 saying that he messed up, he’s not a hero, he’s not a leader and that he has no place thinking highly of himself. Guy straight up doesn’t have any self esteem at this point.

(Klaus also doesn't see himself as a hero even though he was on a literal superhero team.)

And in terms of their sense of self preservation: Klaus obviously has very little regard for his own health and wellbeing. Even if he doesn’t throw himself in front of bullets he’s still drinking and doing drugs to an extreme degree, to the point where they’ve actually killed him. He knows it’s bad for him, he knows it’s dangerous but he doesn’t care. Even with Ben in his ear he continues. When he dies in s1 he’s relieved.

Speaking of throwing one’s self in front of a bullet: Luther does this 3 times that we see. This comes obviously from his protectiveness as a leader but there’s an undercurrent of other people surviving being more important than him getting hurt. And when Five comes to him to say the world’s ending again Luther says he doesn’t give a shit. The Luther from s1 was all about saving the day, s2 Luther is shrugging and saying ‘yeah well, so what?’ and when he does start to care it’s mostly because he’s looking out for Five.

(Sidenote: I realize that my headcanon that Luther is becoming an alcoholic and has an unhealthy relationship with drugs is probably me reading into things but were the show to go in that direction: that they both would find comfort or an escape through substances would be another thing to tie them together and explore how their traumas affected them and what they do to deal with/avoid dealing with them. They’ve become pessimistic about the prospect of answers or catharsis so they look for escape instead.)

(Also also pointing out that the two times Luther was the most candid about his trauma was when he was drunk/high and one of those times was with Klaus – who for the first time in probably a long time, or ever, got to be the shoulder someone cried on. And what a great thematic idea that it’d be the two of them that’d be the most honest and open with each other eventually.)

Bonus item: Luther and Klaus have both died outside of their apocalypse related deaths (pretty sure Allison never actually died in s1 but was close) and in ways that none of the others were there for. Neither of them have talked about it. Maybe it’s because they don’t want to seem weaker than they already are, maybe it’s more of that ‘let’s not talk about trauma, let’s just get drunk’ mentality, or maybe it’s because they don’t think anyone would care. None of the others have really talked to Luther about the accident or the aftermath, none of them have approached Klaus’s addictions as an actual problem. Whatever reason why it would probably do them a world of good to find out they have that in common in the same way it would be good for Luther and Five to talk about their isolation.

They really seem like they should be very different characters in all respects and they really are in a lot of ways but there’s also this laundry list of ways they mirror each other or are similar and I hope the show takes advantage of that.

#tua #tua meta #luther hargreeves #klaus hargreeves

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presumenothing · 4 years ago

Text

set sometime during network effect

(AO3)

The ping came over a private feed. Dr. Overse – a moment of your time, if you would? It's not an emergency.

It was fascinating, the disclaimers you got into the habit of including just through proximity to SecUnit. Of course, it was also possible that Perihelion had started it independently of SecUnit, but judging from the firepower it carried and the reaction it'd had (was still having) to the current situation Overse didn't find that particularly likely. What is it?

Just a question, that's all.

Perihelion had surely detected the brief amusement on her face, but it was almost definitely also self-aware enough to notice the parallels in what old Preservation idioms would call pot, kettle, and a rather familiar tendency for gross understatement so she left it as it is. Certainly, as long as you're sure you don't want Arada for this? She is the lead for this mission, after all.

I'm given to understand that Dr. Arada is considered something of an optimist, by your crew's collective assessment.

Of which SecUnit's opinion presumably held an arbitrarily high percentage, current disagreement aside. That would be an accurate description, yes. And your question?

How has SecUnit been faring? Prior to this… everything, that is.

To its credit, Perihelion hadn't missed a beat save for that deliberate pause. It was weirdly reassuring, to know that even an entire sentient transport (and then some) hadn't found a polite way to describe the situation they were very much mired in. Faring in what sense?

In the same way that you would've interpreted it had a human asked you this question instead, Perihelion answered, just a touch acerbic, and oh yes – here were the edges of the cuttingly sarcastic transport SecUnit was so put out with. Overse could empathise, frankly, though she hadn't gotten to even deciding whether to respond when Perihelion continued. To answer your implied query, Dr. Overse: yes, I am asking out of concern for my friend.

It'd be wrong to say that this last part was steadier, because that would imply that Perihelion hadn't sounded perfectly even all along, but it was still identifiably different.

(At least it had extended the courtesy of assuming that she'd assume it was capable of concern; it made her all the more curious to meet its crew, if and when this statistically-unlikely rescue succeeded.)

Then Perihelion added, dryly, I've been maintaining alerts on every major, minor, and securely confidential newsfeed for mentions of SecUnits and/or probable SecUnit actions, if you were worried about providing context.

Overse snorted – that'd certainly do it. I can neither confirm nor deny on SecUnit's behalf whether it was indeed the subject of any or all of these mentions, she replied, and recalled the current situation just in time to stop herself from actually saying that it'd need to ask SecUnit directly about that, even though the thought had undoubtedly occurred to Perihelion already. But as far as I've seen, it seems to be doing remarkably well, given the considerable changes necessitated by staying on Preservation.

As a security consultant?

As a full resident, she clarified, because it was a fair question. We did have a long-term contract drawn up, but purely to cover any legality issues in the Corporation Rim – any work it does is under separate contracts with termination clauses similar to our own, and otherwise it's free to do as it wishes.

…I hope you have enough media on Preservation, then, Perihelion said, and this time Overse actually wasn't sure how deliberate the pause had been. Thank you for your time, Dr. Overse.

She felt it disengaging from the feed – a concession not unlike SecUnit turning to look at them even when it already had enough drones for video, but it gave her time enough to speak. Perihelion. SecUnit won't stay mad at you forever, you know.

The sudden attention was a tangible weight. I thought you weren't an optimist?

I'm not, Overse affirmed, this is a realistic assessment. SecUnit's angry because your actions endangered us, and we're important to it. But so are you.

I'll take that under consideration, Perihelion answered, a little stiff though she was certain it didn't have a single canned response in its system, and was gone before she could say anything further.

#murderbot #murderbot fic #tmbd #the murderbot diaries #fanfiction #mine #tosses this out the window THERE IT'S DROPPED #anyway. doesn't need saying but i do love a good machine intelligence #and not necessarily in the moral sense

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welllpthisishappening · 4 years ago

Text

First-Line Defensive Pairing

Of all the things they’d done in the last few months, spending the afternoon at the Museum of Ice Cream was one of the more ridiculous. Mostly because of the wooden spoons they gave out on the tour. Partially because it seemed Will Scarlet could not stop casting furtive glances at Belle French. Or the heels that always matched her dresses. Maybe because she kept answering his hypothetical questions. And maybe even because he was willing to drift far closer to genuine these days. At least when it came to his feelings for her.

————

Word Count: 3.7K AN: Take two! Ok, so apparently yesterday when I posted this Tumblr thought it’d be a really cool idea to just...reformat the entire story. With whole graphs in totally wrong spots. Anyway, here it is again. Just as ridiculous as yesterday. With just as many Will and Belle emotions. Because that’s a thing I’m doing now, apparently. Writing Blue Line-era Will and Belle. If you’d like more of these flirt-prone idiots, here is their first date and Belle getting annoyed that Will fought someone on the ice. Technically, this was part of the kiss prompts and was “height difference kisses.” I hope the five of you who are interested in this enjoy it. That includes @shireness-says and @eleveneitherway who are mostly to blame for this.

————

“I’m going to ask you a hypothetical question.”

Belle lifted her eyebrows. Let some of that light creep back in her gaze, a flash of amusement that regularly made Will’s stomach leap dangerously close to the base of his ribs. That’s why he did it. Maybe not the rib thing, partially because he wasn’t even sure that was the correct technical term. The rest of it, though. The eye thing. Sure. Definitely. One-hundred percent. Why he’d also made sure the little wooden spoon they’d been given at the start of this tour was still in the corner of his mouth; to guarantee absolute absurdity, and he figured that started when they decided to spend their afternoon at the Museum of Ice Cream, but he was willing to take it all a step further.

In the absurdity factor, at least.

Other things were—

Well, it wasn’t as if they explicitly decided to keep the relationship a secret. Not on purpose. Not really. Or come to any sort of legitimate agreement regarding the use of the word relationship. It never seemed...important, honestly. And that was a potentially problematic and lackadaisical approach to someone who made Will smile with an almost alarming consistency in the last few months, but she’d also sort of snuck up on him, and Ariel was going to be so annoying.

About the whole goddamn thing.

She’d never shut up about it, he knew.

So he didn’t push. Belle didn’t, either. An unspoken agreement, that’s what it was. He had other things to do, anyway. Like get ready for a playoff run and ignore the lingering ache in his calves after the echo of Arthur’s whistle stopped ringing in his ears, and, ok, his apartment was starting to feel a little bit larger than it had in a long time, maybe since Killian had moved out, but that was fine. Cup runs did not come because someone was in a relationship. Will had seen that first hand. With Cap, of all people.

Watched the way his whole life had fallen apart around his ankles, little shards of hope and possibility that, Will knew, still threatened the structural integrity of Kilian’s internal organs and all four ventricles of his heart, and he did not understand enough basic biology to be making those sorts of sweeping observations, but Robin had lost someone too and that had been horrible and tragic and—

If Will simply did not want to jinx things, then that was neither here nor there.

Relationship’y speaking.

It was good. They were good. He hated the wooden spoon they gave them to taste test half a dozen ice cream flavors.

He was legitimately worried about getting splinters in his tongue.

No excuses could possibly reason away that problem pre-game.

Belle’s eyebrows were still in the same spot. “You going to follow up on that, or…” “Would you burn a Gutenberg Bible? To stave off the apocalypse and or potential frostbite?” “Those two things go together, do they?” He shrugged. “In this instance, yeah, because—” “—Well, it wouldn’t matter,” Belle said, eyes flitting towards the overly enthusiastic tour guide and the seemingly never-ending history of ice cream, “because I wouldn’t allow myself to be in that position. And I don’t live anywhere near the Public Library. What would I be doing there when the freeze-wave came?” His stomach. Did that thing. Jumped and twisted, got a ten from the Russian judge on its floor routine. He was cautiously optimistic he’d be able to pull off a flawless beam performance too. It was an exceedingly convoluted metaphor. Wrong Olympics, too.

“Does salt air give you mind-reading powers?” “You’re not nearly as subtle as you think you are,” Belle grinned. Moving her hand faster than he was entirely prepared for ensured that he nearly dropped his small plastic cup of churro churro ice cream. He made noise. Without trying. A hiss and a grunt in the back of his throat that then led to a sound escaping between Belle’s half-hearted scowl, and that sound was closer to a giggle than either of them would ever admit and just enough to mess with his mental faculties a little and the tour guide stopped talking. To stare straight at them.

Color lifted on Belle’s cheeks, ice cream-covered spoon held awkwardly between them.

“As you were, ma’am,” Will said, all false bravado, and that was something of a trend. In several different capacities. It was far too depressing a thought to have while eating cinnamon-flavored ice cream.

Belle elbowed him.

And the tour guide got back to her to spiel. Without a reprimand.

“Say freeze-wave again without laughing.”

Her eyelashes were more of a problem, honestly. Than the eyebrows. Or the specific jut of her chin Will had rather quickly learned meant she was ready to challenge him on some ridiculous topic, fully prepared to argue a position she might not have otherwise agreed with. Only because it wasn’t what he was arguing, and it was easy to understand why she won that Model UN award.

Plus, her eyelashes were just stupid long, and he thought she was really pretty.

Like in a fundamental sort of way.

“Freeze-wave,” Belle enunciated, pausing between syllables for maximum effect, “are you asking me Day After Tomorrow questions because of the ice cream, because I’m a librarian or because you’re the strangest man alive?” She finally ate the rest of the ice cream. It was starting to melt, that was why. This was very melt-prone ice cream. “Oh, shit,” she mumbled, “this is really good. Better than mine.” Something popped in his shoulder when he reached towards her plastic cup. He wouldn’t tell Ariel about that, either.

“Which kind is—” Fighting off the objections of a small librarian who resolutely refused to wear anything except heels, no matter what the weather was like, was not usually as difficult as it was in that moment. Will assumed it had something to do with sugar. Or the force of his smile. Robbing the rest of him of energy and the ability to fend off either one of Belle’s fists. “Why are you like this?” “You didn’t want to try peanut and pretzel. With peanut butter swirl.” “Swallowed the flyer for this place while I wasn’t looking, huh?” Sticking her tongue out was distracting. Almost enough that he didn’t notice the absolutely atrocious attempt at impersonating his voice. “Oh, no, no, babe, I don’t want that; you can get peanut butter anywhere. That’s not special.” “Well, it’s not.” “I’m a big fancy hockey player, and I know everything there is to know about ice cream flavors and the potential life-changing palette moment that comes from the sublime combination of salty and sweet.” “Oh, now you’re just taunting me.” Her eyes narrowed, that time. His smile was going to permanently stretch out his cheeks. “You have a disgusting mind.” “You can’t get churro ice cream everywhere, babe.” “I’m going back to get honey later.” Will hummed. Stuck his lower lip out. Noticed that flash return. And hoarded it. Like a relationship—

Ah, fuck.

“Would you burn the Gutenberg Bible?” Her laugh was quickly becoming his favorite sound. Which wasn’t bad, per se. Was just kind of passably concerning. God damn. It was the heels. All of them kept matching the dresses she wore. She kept wearing dresses.

Of course, that was going to mess with Will’s head.

Belle shook her head. “No.” “Historical significance?” “Well, once again, I would not be in that position, would have listened to science and fled to warmer climates, so as not to make myself prey for escaped...what were they? Tigers?” “I honestly can’t remember,” Will admitted.

“This was your hypothetical!”

Heads snapped their direction. Frustration creased the tour guide’s forehead, and they’d paid extra to learn about the history of ice cream. Will had already known about the origins of the ice cream cone, though. So, the whole thing felt almost like a raw deal, and he was far more interested in preserving the color in Belle’s cheeks. He saluted. Who he was saluting was anyone’s guess, but it very likely was the otherwise unengaged teenage kid trudging behind his family who absolutely recognized Will.

“That’s going to end up on sixteen different social media sites,” Belle warned, not quite able to get her voice to an appropriate whispering level.

“So long as he got my good side, you won’t hear me complaining.” “Do you have a good side?”

“Sweetheart, the self-confidence. God.” She squeezed her eyes shut. While practically beaming at him, and Will had to bend his knees to reach, something else creaking in the process, but that was fine, and good, and pretty goddamn fantastic because her lips tasted a bit like chocolate.

“‘S’not your best work,” Belle mumbled, almost entirely into his mouth.

“Brain freeze.” “I would burn no books. That’s my final hypothetical answer.” Her eyelashes must have existed purely to torment him. Leaning back made it clear when they fluttered back open, and he swore there were flecks of gold in her eyes. Maybe he was melting, too. With the ice cream. That was almost poetic. “None at all? What if you were going to die?” “Maudlin.” “I don’t know what that means.” “Liar,” she challenged, another smile tugging at her mouth, and Will was clearly staring at her mouth. Stained slightly with chocolate, as it was. “I stand by it, though. The book stuff, not the commentary on your burgeoning intelligence.” “You want to find a corner to go and make out in?” Different laugh. The kind that came with her head thrown back, hair tickling Will’s forearm because at some point his arm had found its way around her, and touching Belle was becoming something almost close to second nature. “I could keep complimenting you if you want,” Belle said, “or I could give you my reason for not burning books.” “You’re a giant nerd, that’s why.” She clicked her tongue. “Very, very cute nerd, though.” “Betcha say that to all the girls.”

His stomach stilled. Dropped a few inches, for good measure. Below where it was supposed to be, and inching dangerously close to his feet, and what Will could not imagine was a very sanitary floor. The Museum of Ice Cream had a giant sprinkle pit. Nothing about that seemed very sanitary.

“I think stories have a purpose,” Belle said, still not quite whispering but definitely getting there, and he knew. Knew she knew. What he was thinking and feeling and unspoken understanding was quickly becoming the name of this particular game. With them.

Where it wasn’t a game at all.

Damn.

Ariel was going to be so annoying.

“No matter what they are. Shitty as they can be, all those ups and downs, and ridiculous, often unnecessary melodrama. It’s going to matter to somebody. Someone, somewhere, will be living their life and read those words or see those letters, and they’ll think, wow, whoever wrote this, gets me, and it will change everything for them. They’ll go back to it. Find solace and safety in it. Themselves, maybe. They’ll believe everything will be ok. Even if they only think that while they’re reading.” “Don’t forget audiobooks,” Will muttered, voice strangled and tinged with emotion. In the ice cream museum. Figured, honestly.

Belle pinched the side of his wrist.

“Ow. Avoid the bruise further up, please.” “Did you get hit?” Nodding took more energy than it should have, too. She hadn’t been to a game. He hadn’t asked her. What an idiot. “Not bad though, that’s just—” “—Par for the course.” “Mixing idioms, mon trésor.” “Oh, I got that one, actually.” “Slow pitch softball, that’s why,” Will reasoned, some of the tension he wasn’t especially pleased by loosening.

“I think we’re on a roll now.” He hummed. Nodded, again. Curled his fingers into the back of Belle’s dress. Blue, that afternoon. With matching heels. “It all matters,” she added, soft and earnest, and his eyes snapped. To her and with her and that second one didn’t make sense, not really, but he was and wanted to be and that absolutely terrified him.

Of it all falling apart again. Of it not being enough.

He wasn’t enough.

A story no one was ever all that interested in finishing.

“You think?” Belle nodded. “Why’d you start playing hockey?” “Quite a transition.” “Tit for tat, or—no, no, c’mon don’t look at me like that.” Red stained her cheeks, now. Making it difficult to concentrate on anything else, although the desire to kiss her again was a fairly strong second, and that kid was taking more pictures. “That’s not fair.” “You’ve brought this on yourself, babe,” Will argued, and he hoped Lucas didn’t yell. At him. He’d never really listened to the social media rules. “It’s a very long, occasionally depressing story about a kid and his single mom, the second of whom often worked her ass off and her fingers to the bone, and all those other delightfully visual clichés. But then! Who would guess, she got a job picking up extra shifts cleaning at the rink in town. Home to the world’s shittiest ice and loudest Zamboni, it instantly drew the attention of our kid-like hero.

“He was...infatuated, let’s say. With the sounds, especially. Nothing sounds like that first scrape of skates on fresh ice. Full of possibility, you know?” Belle didn’t answer. Will kept talking. “Best noise in the world. And then he learned there were other noises. Pucks hitting the back of nets. Sticks clanging together. Grunts and groans and the game itself, how loud it was. Helped silence some of his thoughts, none of which were ever very good. Lots of worries, some about his very dead sister, then a few more about that mother and her predilection toward clichés.”

“Good word,” Belle murmured. He kissed the top of her hair. The kid was openly staring at them, now.

“Anyway, the crux of the story is that the guy who owned the rink agreed to let the kid play on the rink. Knew the mother, understood her situation, and hockey is expensive. Like, well, we spout all that bullshit about hockey is for everyone, and I’ve got to stand up there and smile and nod and agree, and it’s fucked up because it’s not really true. Hockey’s for rich kids and families with regularly functioning alternators in their car.”

He shook his head. Had to. To chase away the memories and the cobwebs, and Cap knew this, too. Understood it, even. Remembered a life before the Vanklads, and not every kid got the Vankalds, and sometimes Will let himself wonder what would have happened if he’d found the Vanklads. Or their upstate New York equivalent.

Gotten better shin pads, probably.

“Hockey’s an exclusive sorta club,” Will continued, “gotta know someone who’s related to someone else, and they know someone who played, and it’s six degrees of increasingly desperate separation. By some lucky twist of fate, though, Jimmy Newell knew some bastard who knew somebody else, who saw me play, and you don’t say no to USA Developmental. Spent two years in Minnesota, way before Cap did, so he doesn’t get to claim that state as his own.” Belle’s lips twitched. “Good to know, for argument’s sake.” His stomach was becoming a problem.

Heart, too.

Sputtering and slamming, uneven beats that were going to leave another bruise. Will licked his lips.

“I went to Developmental, declared for the draft, got picked by New York, went to college, stayed in college, and the rest is history. As they say.” “They do say that, yeah.” “What’s the next question, then?” “How do you know there’s another question?” “Shot in the dark,” Will shrugged, but that was a lie, and it was getting increasingly easier to read that pinch between her eyebrows. “So, hit me.” “Literally?” “Please do not literally hit me. Locksley’s been feeling the forecheck the last couple’a practices.” “I know what that means!” Someone shushed them. Will couldn’t imagine the color will ever leave Belle’s cheeks.

He kissed the bridge of her nose.

“Who’d you get to teach you French?” “Who said I didn’t just learn French on my own?” “Babe,” she chided, and, well, that was the tipping point. As they say. To his heart and his stomach and—

“You wanna come to a game this series?” Belle blinked. Once, twice. Leaned back. Tilted her head. Likely waited for the camera crew that was inevitably lurking in the corner he was cautiously optimistic they’d make out in eventually. Didn’t happen, though. There was no camera crew.

Just Will Scarlet, professional hockey player, and part-time sap. Standing in one of the more nonsensical museums they’d been to in the last two months. Although they did go to the transit museum on three separate occasions, and he could honestly say he didn’t expect that.

So, maybe this was all just—

Par for the course.

He’d have to make some sort of deal with Eric. To make sure Ariel didn’t proclaim her relationship-plotting victories from a variety of rooftops. Someone in front office had to know someone else with Empire State Building connections.

Zelena probably did.

Ariel would use that.

“Where would I sit?”

He pulled her. Up. With an almost violent amount of force, threatening the safety of both of Belle’s shoulders in the process. But she’d asked the one question he hadn’t totally considered in his half-plotted plan, and getting his mouth back on hers was an acceptable diversion. Plus, she looped her arms around his neck pretty quickly.

Which had to count for something, he figured.

One hand cupped the back of his head, pulling him closer. Like he had any intention of being anywhere else, swiping his tongue against Belle’s lip and swallowing her sigh. They were still in public, technically. Her feet trailed the multi-color carpet beneath them, Will’s arms tightening and his palm flat against her back and her spine, and if she kept rocking up like that, he was going to do something drastic.

Something in the same realm as melting, probably.

Strands of hair tickled his skin, making him tilt his head and alter the angle, and that was entirely appropriate, but getting kicked out of the Museum of Ice Cream would probably make an absolutely fantastic story. Once they told people they were—

Doing whatever it was they were doing.

They’d get there eventually.

“Cap’s sister-in-law is coming,” Will said, not entirely able to catch his breath, “wants to see Kris and—” “—Should I know who that is?” “Works in equipment, and that’s not really the point.” “What is?” “That Little Vankald isn’t super interested in listening to Cap be full older brother on her and, far as I know, is fully capable of getting tickets wherever she wants. Can sweet talk the gold out of anyone’s pockets, and—” “—Wait, wait, are you equating hockey tickets to gold?” “When I’m playing, ma choupette.” “Is that cabbage?” He hummed. Nearly tripped over his own feet trying to hold onto Belle and the mostly melted cup of ice cream and paying for more churro ice cream made perfect sense. At the moment. “One of the kids at school was French Canadian,” Will explained, “used to swear all the time on the ice, and then he’d use stuff like that.” “You’re sharing endearments with a trash talker.” “More or less, yeah. Used to infuriate other guys.” “Who wants to be called a cabbage?” “I think you’re super cute.” Belle scowled. Didn’t argue, though. And Will refused to linger on the beat of his pulse. “I’d really like it if you were there,” he added, “Little Vanklad’ll be cool about it. She owes me. I fed her for a very long time.” “Did you just?” “I make incredible garlic bread; ask anyone.” “Wow,” Belle drawled, “just like people on the street, or…also, do you call her Little Vanklad all the time?” “To her face and behind her back with startling regularity. Not everyone gets my French endearments, babe. Consider yourself lucky.”

She scrunched her nose.

Stayed silent. All Will could hear was the soft explanations of the tour guide, and the questions from tourists who probably also thought going to the Museum of Sex made them edgy. After they bought a STRAND tote bag. God, maybe he was a dick. A judgmental dick, who still had too many thoughts and used an occasionally violent game to silence them by making sure he was the one dictating the noises and the trash talk and—

“Hey, uh, Will...Mr., uh—Mr. Scarlet? Do you think we could get a picture?”

Belle’s lips disappeared. Behind her teeth, and that didn’t do anything to temper the sound of what might have actually been joy. At the prospect of the staring teenager and his photo request.

In the goddamn Museum of Ice Cream.

Giving a jerky nod, Will quickly scanned the kid for any team-branded, but it didn’t look like he was wearing merch and that was a rather small miracle. Far as those things went.

Still, he had been in the middle of a pretty intense internal dialogue and potential freakout, and there was going to be ice cream on his hand if he didn’t throw this cup away.

Belle took the phone.

The kid’s phone.

“Smile,” she instructed, and Will tried. Really. He hoped he didn’t end up looking like a murderer on Twitter or Instagram or whatever kids used, and he had no idea when he got that old. When things started to freak him out, and he let the nerves claw back in, and the worry take root and—

“Hey,” he said before the kid could walk back to his parents and their matching STRAND tote bags. “You think you could take a picture of us, real quick?”

No one had ever moved faster.

In, like, the history of photography.

Circling an arm around Belle’s waist, Will’s smile came a bit easier and that was good because he was totally unprepared for what happened after that. Another instruction and flick of someone’s thumb, but then Belle was on her toes, even with the heels, and her lips were pressed against his cheek and it was like some sort of really exceptional sugar high.

Without the threat of inevitable crash.

Will didn’t think so, at least. He was also pretty positive it wasn’t tigers in The Day After Tomorrow. Wolves, maybe.

“Tell Little Vankald to save me a seat.” “I mean, I don’t think you should call her that.”

Her teeth grazed his jaw. Both of them were laughing in the picture, the kid’s eyes going impossibly wide as Will thanked him. “How hard you think it is to set up an Instagram account?”

#scarlet beauty #scarlet beauty ff #scarlet beauty fic #will x belle #blue line one shots #what did i use yesterday as my tag for this?#so as not to also confuse it with the au of the au staring will scarlet?#defensive!blue line #that wasn't it but it is now #anyway these have been real fun to write #because as we all know i am certified trash for alternate stories in the same 'verse #also giving belle a personality finally is a delight #seriously i hope the five people interested in this enjoy it

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