#Need to work on my writing skills.
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thedarkmysticsofvirus · 10 months ago
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I feel different... Angrier.
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I can still feel the key turning inside my back, Is this unusual? Maybe... and hell it was painful.
"It worked; my project actually worked!" When he heard Mary talk it only came out as blurs to him, it's a shame he couldn't hear her angelic voice, yet he could still hear the key ticking. Do I need to lie down?No, too much energy for that, I think I'll be alright. for now.
3 days have passed; Every time Larry pass through the halls, he could feel most of his classmates giving me weird stares. Was it out of confusion, or amusement? No, it could be both if you tried hard enough.
Chattering and whispering could be heard, sounded like they were making fun of him, one could utter to her friend almost giggling; it wasn't very funny. The talking grew louder and worse, walking near a crowd was a terrible idea. going outside to get some air would be better than this.
The exit was close by so he wouldn't waste time listening to them. "Wow, Scaredy Larry has a new accessory? Really suits you."
Out of all people he had to be approached by Kenneth and his friends(lackeys). Larry gave a dour expression to the group. he didn't want to deal with their crap today, he tried to walk away but one of them was blocking his path, "what's with the look, I just wanted to pay a compliment" his tone sounded cold and fake.
"Fuck off." Was all I could mutter before I felt a tug on the key, I flinched quickly and shoved his hands off. "What's with the key, you trying to cosplay as a toy?" Kenneth questioned as he tugged it again; he swatted him back with his own book, but it didn't stop there when his lackeys tried to grab it as well, one of them was even recording!
The moment he caught Larry off guard, Kenneth twisted the key in an instant; letting out a pained scream the poor guy almost collapsed, he just stood there and finally lets it go, but it didn't stop the agony and discomfort. Attention started to draw even as Kenneth and his friends ran off somewhere else, leaving Larry alone. it was so nice that one of my classmates took pity enough to take him to the nurse, won't be much help though. ... It took a bit to recover before getting sent back to class, yet the stings still remain. Larry couldn't focus on the lesson, nor could he focus much on the assignment. his thoughts still linger at the fact Kenneth felt that confident to twist the key and thinks he can get away with it. the poor thought of it made his blood boil and his pencil snap. He's not going to let it happen again. Not this time.
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inkskinned · 1 year ago
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the thing about art is that it was always supposed to be about us, about the human-ness of us, the impossible and beautiful reality that we (for centuries) have stood still, transfixed by music. that we can close our eyes and cry about the same book passage; the events of which aren't real and never happened. theatre in shakespeare's time was as real as it is now; we all laugh at the same cue (pursued by bear), separated hundreds of years apart.
three years ago my housemates were jamming outdoors, just messing around with their instruments, mostly just making noise. our neighbors - shy, cautious, a little sheepish - sat down and started playing. i don't really know how it happened; i was somehow in charge of dancing, barefoot and laughing - but i looked up, and our yard was full of people. kids stacked on the shoulders of parents. old couples holding hands. someone had brought sidewalk chalk; our front walk became a riot of color. someone ran in with a flute and played the most astounding solo i've ever heard in my life, upright and wiggling, skipping as she did so. she only paused because the violin player was kicking his heels up and she was laughing too hard to continue.
two weeks ago my friend and i met in the basement of her apartment complex so she could work out a piece of choreography. we have a language barrier - i'm not as good at ASL as i'd like to be (i'm still learning!) so we communicate mostly through the notes app and this strange secret language of dancers - we have the same movement vocabulary. the two of us cracking jokes at each other, giggling. there were kids in the basement too, who had been playing soccer until we took up the far corner of the room. one by one they made their slow way over like feral cats - they laid down, belly-flat against the floor, just watching. my friend and i were not in tutus - we were in slouchy shirts and leggings and socks. nothing fancy. but when i asked the kids would you like to dance too? they were immediately on their feet and spinning. i love when people dance with abandon, the wild and leggy fervor of childhood. i think it is gorgeous.
their adults showed up eventually, and a few of them said hey, let's not bother the nice ladies. but they weren't bothering us, they were just having fun - so. a few of the adults started dancing awkwardly along, and then most of the adults. someone brought down a better sound system. someone opened a watermelon and started handing out slices. it was 8 PM on a tuesday and nothing about that day was particularly special; we might as well party.
one time i hosted a free "paint along party" and about 20 adults worked quietly while i taught them how to paint nessie. one time i taught community dance classes and so many people showed up we had to move the whole thing outside. we used chairs and coatracks to balance. one time i showed up to a random band playing in a random location, and the whole thing got packed so quickly we had to open every door and window in the place.
i don't think i can tell you how much people want to be making art and engaging with art. they want to, desperately. so many people would be stunning artists, but they are lied to and told from a very young age that art only matters if it is planned, purposeful, beautiful. that if you have an idea, you need to be able to express it perfectly. this is not true. you don't get only 1 chance to communicate. you can spend a lifetime trying to display exactly 1 thing you can never quite language. you can just express the "!!??!!!"-ing-ness of being alive; that is something none of us really have a full grasp on creating. and even when we can't make what we want - god, it feels fucking good to try. and even just enjoying other artists - art inherently rewards the act of participating.
i wasn't raised wealthy. whenever i make a post about art, someone inevitably says something along the lines of well some of us aren't that lucky. i am not lucky; i am dedicated. i have a chronic condition, my hands are constantly in pain. i am not neurotypical, nor was i raised safe. i worked 5-7 jobs while some of these memories happened. i chose art because it mattered to me more than anything on this fucking planet - i would work 80 hours a week just so i could afford to write in 3 of them.
and i am still telling you - if you are called to make art, you are called to the part of you that is human. you do not have to be good at it. you do not have to have enormous amounts of privilege. you can just... give yourself permission. you can just say i'm going to make something now and then - go out and make it. raquel it won't be good though that is okay, i don't make good things every time either. besides. who decides what good even is?
you weren't called to make something because you wanted it to be good, you were called to make something because it is a basic instinct. you were taught to judge its worth and over-value perfection. you are doing something impossible. a god's ability: from nothing springs creation.
a few months ago i found a piece of sidewalk chalk and started drawing. within an hour i had somehow collected a small classroom of young children. their adults often brought their own chalk. i looked up and about fifteen families had joined me from around the block. we drew scrangly unicorns and messed up flowers and one girl asked me to draw charizard. i am not good at drawing. i basically drew an orb with wings. you would have thought i drew her the mona lisa. she dragged her mother over and pointed and said look! look what she drew for me and, in the moment, i admit i flinched (sorry, i don't -). but the mother just grinned at me. he's beautiful. and then she sat down and started drawing.
someone took a picture of it. it was in the local newspaper. the summary underneath said joyful and spontaneous artwork from local artists springs up in public gallery. in the picture, a little girl covered in chalk dust has her head thrown back, delighted. laughing.
#writeblr#warm up#this is longer than i wanted i really considered removing that part about myself and what i went thru#but i think it really fucking bothers me that EVERY time i talk about being an artist#ppl assume i just like. had the skill and ability to drop everything and pay for grad school.#like sir i grew up poor. my house wasn't a safe space. i gave up a FREE RIDE TO LAW SCHOOL. for THIS. bc i chose it.#was it fucking hard? was i choosing the hard thing?? yes.#but we need to stop seeing artists as lazy layabouts that can ''afford'' to just ''sit around and create''#when MANY - if not MOST - of us are NOT like that. we have to work our fucking ASSES off. hard work. long and hard work#part of valuing artists is recognizing the amount we sacrifice to make our art. bc it doesn't just#like HAPPEN to us. also btw it rarely has anything to do with true talent.#speaking as someone with a chronic condition i hate when ppl are like u have it easy. like actively as i'm writing this my hands r#ACTIVELY hurting me. i haven't been posting bc my left hand was curled in a claw for the last week#this isn't fucking luck. after a certain point it's not even TALENT. it's dedication & sacrifice.#''u get to flounce around and do nothing with ur life'' is a narrative that is a direct result of capitalism#imagine if we said that about literally any other profession.#''oh so u give up 10 yrs of ur life to be a doctor? u sacrifice having a social life and u get SUPER in debt?#u need to work countless hours and it will often be thankless? well i wish i was that lucky''#we should be applying that logic to landlords ONLY#''oh ur mom and dad gave u the money to buy a house? and all u did was paint it white and rent it? huh.''
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averlym · 11 months ago
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fairest of the fair
#hi! im alive and back and etc.#six the musical#six the musical fanart#katherine howard#thinking of that post going 'i think eventually you become the person you needed most' and like maybe that's the thing with my art#this started out as a redraw and <improvement meme> i think i've finally reached the stage where i'm making the things that my younger self#aspired to create. like i can do this now! i've reached That level of technical skill! tiny me would be so proud. it's very gratifying#redraw from august this year actually. i've made a surprising amount of improvement HAHA maybe it was the adamandi stuff getting me#back into digital rendering. i think that obsession has quietly slipped away but yknow. one never truly leaves a fandom. just less intensit#also speaking of old fandoms! we're back with the six stuff haha. as of writing i'm in the midst of blog revamp- figuring out how to chill#multifandom status doesn't mean ditch all the old stuff ! but i do feel much freer and less stressed. i think hiatus has been good for me#notes on this piece particularly: redraw about cutting hair and thinking of the lyric above. also lowkey &j ref + pinterest poem excerpts#of female suffering. and maybe a dash of amanda heng let's walk inspo. this work is really just full of contradictions..#1. the mirror and cutting hair as an act of self liberation 2. the & is part of the lyric but also a nod to &j (in another iteration it was#pink but the white looked better) and like. &j is really all !!! girl power!!! etc. and i was like hmmmm. also matching pink shiny aes#3. the frame as a cage; the mirror as a self reflection idea (ie. saville's propped insp) but also as a sign of vanity. 4. sparkly costume#and pretty pose- read one too many poems about women feeling like they have to be pretty even in their suffering. something i wanted to#explore. and also in 5. the show itself... all you wanna do is. despite all the dancing and pink and sparkly the content of the song is#darker. and even though it's a story of her suffering it's still presented as a shiny fun pop song and ajshdhfhfh ok... 6. the lyrics fall#outside the frame. sort of a caught inbetween. sort of a trapped in the narrative and yet#within the frame it's all. vaguely handwavy breaking free vibes. like i said contradictions?#7. cutting off the long ponytail vs the pull my hair lyric at the end. yeah#8. the blocked off & looks a bit like scissors. positioned to cut right at the neck#anyways yeah irl remains hectic! but if i get around to more doodles they'll appear here :)
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mummer · 23 days ago
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okay folks i need to get real with myself. how do i regain the nerve to start writing original fiction again and start tackling an extremely ambitious project that for now only exists as clouds in my head. Genuine opinions welcome
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birdy-bird27 · 4 months ago
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This is an unlikely crossover! But one inspired by @volivolition I put our two blorbos together :)
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murderofravens · 11 months ago
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yuji x curse-user!reader... dubcon/noncon... curse user reader who is with mahito.. yuji beats mahito then sets his eyes on her.. yuji throwing her around and using her.. taking revenge for the way she helped mahito.. please listen to me guys..
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enswbl · 3 months ago
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY JIMMY SMITH! [On being in a band] – It's like a fucking end credits montage, like strobe effect photographs of like backstage parties, and then shows, and then people's faces, and then fucking drinks, and drugs, and beaches, and hotels, and vomit. You know, it's like everything. It's like full exposure to life.
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icewindandboringhorror · 6 months ago
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finally finished all of one character's entire quests/optional dialogue/questions/etc.... 100,000 words... .... aughhh
#Given some of it IS lines of code and stuff but like.. minus all that it's still probably at least 85 - 95k words hhhhhh#AND I have to do this for another 3 characters. Then a few partial quests for 3 others. THEN the other random misc stuff in the game#(like there are public areas in the city like a park and a forest that you can go and do a few things at. and chat with a few random#townsfolk that aren't actually full characters or anything. And there's a community board where you can#browse some of the random job advertisments or silly things that happen to be posted around#and also pick up a few odd jobs of your own to help earn coin to buy gifts for the npcs. etc. etc.)#Originally I was thinking like 'ah I'll make a short little game just to try it out! :3 It'll take maybe a few months!''#haha........................hee hee........................................hoho#Also evil that it would have been done already if I didn't totally drop itand stop working on it for like 5 years randomly#i could have made 5 years of steady slow progress gradually. instead of like 'one initial idea dump + about a month of art and writing'#...... 5 year break..... 'sudden mad dash to try to get probably 400.000 words written in a year or less' lol#I just really want to be done and have something out there already so it can lead to doing other things in my world..!!!!!! T o T#Like this can be an introduction and then maybe from that I can make other games. or short story anthologies. or other such things#But there needs to be some initially not very complex easy to interact with starting point first I guess... if that makes sense#That's part of why I stopped posting worldbuilding lore dump stuff as often because its' like.. massive walls of novella length#text are much more inacessible to engage with than like.. ooh a game! and there's characters! so its more approachable! and theres#visuals! oo! and the text is broken up in small bits line by line with other things in betwen! oo! etc. etc. lol#Not that THIS is even very accessible. I think dialogue heavy interactive fiction/visual novel type stuff is pretty niche and considered#boring or tedious compared to something with more ''gamplay'' like where you can actually move around in a world#and shoot things or whatever lol. But its an inbetween point. something SLIGHTLY#more accesible for now. Since i just dont have the budget or means or ability to make some skyrim type thing obviously LOL#Though maybe if theres any interest in the visual novel that could lead to making other things too. or at least I hope. I have a VERY cool#idea for a more ''gamey'' type of game that is a super fun concept and etc. but I would need to hire at least 2 people to make it.. ough..#I could do all the writing and probably half of the art. But I think I'd inevitably need a 3d artist and someone who can Code For Real hbjh#the system for ren'py (the thing I'm making a visual novel in) is not that complicated if you stick to just simple dialogue and stuff.#Making a whole moderately sized 3d game with minigames in it and a bunch of quest features and etc. would be out of my simplistic scope#''just learn it yourself!!' ... i barely manage to eat and sleep reliably every day lol... i do not function well enough to spend months#learning that many new skills. I already have a lot of of things I'm good at (not in a braggy way but just factually like.. i already have#a wide variety of different things under my belt).. at some point I have to just be happy with what i CAN already do and focus on that#and admit I need to get outside help sometimes ghjbh... NO more new skills/hobbies!!! ... ANYWAY
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beaconfeels · 27 days ago
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Alpha Werewolf Chris Argent
Thoughts? 👀
(Also yes I'm throwing stuff at you that's kinda gnawing on my mind rn 😂
Also also yes I'm writing most of these ideas myself - or at least intend to 😂)
I’ve not spent a lot of time thinking about Chris being turned, and even less about him being an alpha werewolf, but there is certainly plenty to think about!
One of the things I think about right away is the fact that Chris wasn’t raised to be a leader, he was raised to be a soldier. He was raised to answer orders without question, to believe in the mission, to ignore anything he sees that doesn’t fit the narrative he’s been given. So it’s interesting to think about him as an alpha wolf with those alpha urges to build a pack.
I feel like I can’t fully trust myself in how I view Chris, because he’s probably the character I project onto the most. I grew up in a cult, so I tend to think about the aspect of him being raised in a certain belief system and then having that turned on its head. So this could be me projecting, but I do think that Chris thought he was doing the right thing, or at the very least, he did a pretty good job of convincing himself that he did. He learned early and often that asking questions and having doubts was frowned upon, if not deadly, so he refused to see anything that made him unsure of the black and white world he’d accepted as truth.
It’s interesting to think about the ways him being turned would flip that even faster and more intensely maybe. I also think whether or not he got turned before Victoria died would make a big difference. If she was alive, would she have convinced him to end his life like she did her own? Would she have even given him a choice?
If she was already dead, I have zero doubt that he would have done everything in his power to stay alive for Allison. Personally, I’m most interested in thinking about the idea in my head where his dad and sister are hellbent on killing him, so he ends up having to rely on the ragtag McCall/Hale pack to save him. Good lord. I’d have way too much fun tormenting…basically everyone in that scenario 😂 (one could also do all kinds of shippy things with it, if they so desired)
Anyway, I feel like there are so many directions someone could go with alpha Chris, and thank you for making me think about it more! It’s fun to put the blorbos on the spin cycle and just rattle them around for awhile sometimes.
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crossbackpoke-check · 8 months ago
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it’s all the rest of what i want with you
connor dewar/brandon duhaime :: 8k
Summary:
“Brandon,” Connor says with a sigh. “There’s no baby in there.”
“Not yet,” Brandon says. Connor feels his stomach twist, almost like what he would imagine a baby kicking to feel like.
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in these trying times of dewvorce, may i offer you 8k of pwp inspired by @stillfertile’s wonderful art which i had. several breakdowns about 🫶 anyway please enjoy!!!
#OFFICIAL FIC ANNOUNCEMENT 🗣️🗣️🗣️‼️‼️‼️ i wish i had pretty fic graphics but alas i have No Skill and also. so much work i should be doing bu#HI SHE’S HERE i would love to say this is a complete surprise drop except i have Anxiety & i needed to ask you guys about it beforehand#in my defense i started writing this in like. january far before any tragedy occurred#because square asked about my tags on their dewey2 art and she spawned like. a million more thoughts about it#including the part where i got absolutely kicked in the face with the lightning vision of those two lines.#like those two lines are the first actual lines of the fic i wrote ajdhkwdiowdjiw ANYWAY please be nice to me i know i am always like#‘this is not the first real fic i ever thought i’d post’ and if i had a nickel i’d have three but this is the first pwp i’ve ever posted#and it’s 8k and it’s not a fic for an exchange (although technically i did very much write this for the dewey^2 hivemind so.)#i have SO many things to say i have so many comments on this doc also i couldn’t pick a title for the LONGEST time and i finally decided on#this one but the full quote was too long:#all the rest of what i want with you that scares me shitless#so. i was angling SO hard to make a yung gravy lyric as a title bc i saw the video of him at a wild game but i couldn’t find a good one#and instead y’all got a very sentimental title l m a o.#liv in the replies#shout out to the extended universe this lives in and also my unhinged comments in the docs.#if you liked fun fuck a baby in him friday i’ll be here all week i promise i am the exact same in the comments as i am in the tags 🫡#the NUMBER of times i wrote something in this by pulling it out of my ass and then actually went back and did the research & was RIGHT is.#far too high. also the amount of coincidental things that dropped while i was writing this (yung gravy song about pregnancy AFTER i wheeze#laughed myself into a yung gravy title the athletic player poll confirming my restaurant & bar choices from googling ‘st. paul good bars’…)#also if anybody got advice on formatting for these little announcements. help. this is different from my miro/luka one &i’m still not happy
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rollercoasterwords · 7 months ago
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You have probably answered this before, but have you ever considered becoming a published author ? Your writing style is soo good
sure lol i’ve considered it but the older i’ve gotten & the more i’ve learned abt how the publishing industry actually works the less it’s become a priority… “author” was like my dream job as a kid but it takes a lot of time & money & connections that i simply don’t have rn 2 write & publish novels so! maybe one day i’ll give it a go but 4 now i’m more focused on writing & publishing nonfiction articles/research as part of my work…of course that is not something i will make money from lol but it’s what i’ve gotta do if i want a shot at building a career in my desired field so. current priority lies there…
anyway appreciate the compliment glad u enjoy my writing <3 let’s all hold hands & enjoy it 4 free…
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theres-whump-in-that-nebula · 9 months ago
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Anyone else have near-perfect executive function at work; but at home, have literally no energy or motivation to do anything except lie in a dark room, with something in or on your ears for several hours?
#It’s got to be the schedule keeping me on task at work#I love microdosing strict routines (not having an actual routine for the day; but having routines for small tasks#which piss me off if I can’t carry them out precisely the way I planned)#For instance: If I’m asked to paperclip a bunch of stuff together with multicolored paperclips of various sizes#I cannot just indiscriminately pick paperclips from the container because that is WRONG and ILLEGAL#The colors must fit the theme of the assignments; and the colors must alternate in a specific order#and the paperclips must all be the same size#If I’m asked to dump out and clean containers of writing utensils I am going to sort them by type and color#whether you like it or not#Black permanent markers have their own container in a different section from the blue permanent markers#Dry-erase markers are not to be mixed with permanent markers because they are easily confused and it is WRONG and ILLEGAL#Do not fuck with the system. It’s the only organizational skill I have and by fucking GOD I’m going to use it in EXCESS#I stuff and fill out envelopes the exact same way every time because if I do it any other way it is WRONG and ILLEGAL#The stamp always goes on last to minimize monetary waste if there is a mistake#Now you’d think my room is squeaky clean and organized because of how particular I am about these small tasks#Right? Right?#NO IT IS NOT. It looks like a bomb went off. Cleaning the room is a big task which cannot be accomplished within two hours#therefore I have discarded it as anything I need a routine for because it would take too long to come up with#and it is very hard for me to do things like that without instructions or a sense of consistency#So I simply don’t#“After five years the dust doesn’t get any worse” correct; but the mold certainly does#I am convinced half my problems with organization as a kid would have been solved if I just had a hamper#“We have a clothes chute; you don’t need a hamper” Maybe you don’t but I DO#I want one now; but I’m going to use it as incentive to get an apartment#because that’s another thing I need to smuggle and I have too much already
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bsaka7 · 28 days ago
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ARGH maybe i should really have gone to engineering school or stuck with math i do like numbers and shit i also don't care. i loved robotics i was good at cpp and great at calc i could have stuck it out.
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pochapal · 9 months ago
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girl who is getting a bad grade in phd (my personal development review is marked as "incomplete" after i didn't attend any skills training courses because if i ever didn't know something i needed to know i just opted to figure it out myself instead of admitting weakness and confessing to people in authority that there is even a single gap in my skillset [i also don't believe you actually need any training in how to write a novel and a thesis] {this is not hubris})
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knifekris · 3 months ago
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every day i struggle to make choices
#i should invest into some kind of education but cant make up my mind#mostly because options suck#i cant do trades unless my body sucks less which is sad because id love to be an electrician#cant even think about getting a pilots license cuz im not passing the med cert#i think id rather die than be a med assistant actually#working clinics at all makes me nervous tbh but probably where im headed in the short term#surgical tech would be cool but i cant do a Real program while working full-time#which is what limits most of my choices#i need to find more paid training programs i guess#if i had to pick a miserable but fulfilling job id go into education itself#but the teaching profession has always been in a downward spiral esp as of late#i dont want healthcare because i hate seeing dysfunctional glorified murder machines grinding around and around endlessly#acute care sucks id rather be in an icu for function but then im depressed because our patients are always dying#it was better as a phleb but this hospital doesnt have phleb and like i said im nervous about clinics#but i need to fucking commit to outpatient phlebotomy i think :/#the most fun ive had at a job ever#i wish i had more widely applicable skills but i cant be an emt/para even just for the training#because half of it is unpaid and the other half you pay for#and again#a job NOTORIOUS for being exhausting dangerous and traumatizing#if i was 17 again and wasnt escaping the tar pit of my mother id go for an english degree and i wouldnt even regret it#thinking about school in terms of a job i have to have forever vs for the sake of learning is so different#id like to know everything. i wanna read and write forever. and do research and have real technical skills that help people#im still riding off of the high of getting 5 ccs off of an oncology patient who desperately needed a port#they were able to run like seven tests off of it#i had to use a couple ped tubes#she only had to get poked Once and barely noticed it bc the doc team came in and im so happy i made her admission that muvh easier#labs are so miserable#checking back on the blood and seeing all of the results came through made me more pleased than anything else in the world
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venesins · 3 months ago
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Opening google docs to write more exposition for LW and then just staring at the screen for 20 minutes was very humbling. I may need to go to bed
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