#NOW IM SAD OVER WHAT WE JUST TALKED ABOUT

[wcnderlnds]

fool for you | kang dae-ho

・❥・ summary: best friend dae-ho gets jealous when he sees you flirting with someone else ・❥・word count: 630 ・❥・warnings: angst, sad dae-ho ・❥・ authors note: im so sry i have so much angst in my soul this week. this was a request from this list. feel free to request any!

Dae-Ho’s fist clenched at his sides, the food on his lap long forgotten as his eyes focused on the only thing that could make him feel like this. His blood was boiling, his fingers flexing in his hands as he fought the urge to walk over there. It wasn’t like he had a say, it wasn’t like he could control who you spent your time with but, man, if it didn’t hurt. Why on Earth you had taken an interest in the eccentric, purple haired junkie was a mystery to him. Then again, it wasn’t like he had told you his feelings. No, he couldn’t. You were just friends. Best friends even if he had thought about you as more than that for a long time.

He tore his eyes away from you, unable to watch as you flirty patted Thanos on the arm. That was more than his stomach could handle. Picking the food up, he shoved it to the side on the floor. If he’d even had an appetite, it was long gone by now. The ache in his chest all but consumed him.

“Hey, you good?” Your cheerful voice sounded beside him. Huh, when had you even approached him? Must have been too lost in his thoughts to even realise.

“What? Me, yeah!” He plastered a fake smile on his face, shifting his body a little so he could look at you making sure to avoid direct eye contact. You knew him far too well that the second you looked into his eyes, you’d know something was up.

“Good because I need to talk to someone,” a near squeal passed your lips. “Thanos said when we get out of here he’ll take me for a drink and I swear my heart almost beat out of my chest. He’s just so handsome and funny and he ma-”

“Can you stop talking about him for one second?” Dae-Ho cut you off, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. “Frankly, I don’t give a damn about him or what he does to your poor little heart.”

His outburst took you aback. Curious eyes examined his face. You noticed the clenched jaw, the way his hair was a mess from how many times he’d been running his hand through it. Oh. “You’re jealous?”

Dae-ho almost protested but what was the point in lying now? You had figured him out and there was no denying it. Anyone with eyes could see he was acting like a jealous fool. Jealousy wasn’t something he had ever experienced this deep before but his feelings for you were so pure, the thought of you with anyone else hurt. It hurt a lot. 

“I - I… yeah, I am. I think you can do so much better than him,” he nodded his head in Thanos’ direction.

“He’s not that bad.”

“Just do me a favour and don’t talk about him in front of me anymore, okay? I can’t handle it. Please spare me. If you care about me in any way, just… don’t.”

He got up to walk away but you grabbed the sleeve of his jacket trying to pull him back down. “Dae-ho, wait. Please don’t walk away.”

“Sorry.” With a frown on his face and an ache in his heart, he walked away trying to put as much distance between you as he could while he got his feelings in check.

[waywardsou2]

Im listening to Marcus Skeens new album and I'm going to give my thoughts in each song

Strangers

Ok but seriously? It took me a second to pick who's perspective this was. But when I twigged it was Viktor's. Gods ok I almost cried listening to that line

Because it shows how much Viktor really did want Jayce. How clear as day it was and yet he was so sure he couldn't have it. He was so sure it was unconditional. And tbh the way Jayce looked at Mel (talking from the perspective of Infinity End) I can't blame him. Wow that's really sad but it was really beautiful. I liked how clear the guitar was as well. The scratch of the strings was a nice touch

Event Horizon

Oh I'm excited for this one based on title alone

Ok fuck I know a lot of people say things like "I'm literally crying omg" and usually I don't believe them so I get it if you think the same. But the way I tell you I burst into tears when I heard these two lines. Like instantly tears in my eyes and then running down my face...

Again took me a little while to understand who's perspective that was. But I think these are all from Viktor's perspective. Which is really interesting, but I would love to see him make a parallel album answering these songs from Jayce's perspective.

But holy fucking shit. The turn from "I wish you would lie to me and tell me you love me" to "Shit wait you might be serious and now I have no clue what to do because I've been pining for so long"

This honestly hit me like a slap in the face

This has to be my favourite by far. I do still have three others to go thought

Better

Just end me now. That one may be my second favourite but holy fuck.

The way I wanted to scream like Vi did in Jinx's final scene. Because that was fucking brutal

This...this is just Viktor all over. He thinks he's broken, he fully believes it. Jayce doesn't want him to say that he is because Jayce doesn't see him that way.

Him saying he wants to be better deeply parallels Jayce telling Viktor he's perfect the way he is. As well as hinting to the previous song. Now that Jayce's eyes are on him he feels unworthy because he is so broken.

Oh that really fucking hurts.

Changes

Shit omg ok. Not as gut wrenching but still powerful. Not my favourite music but it's the message for me

Viktor is clearly very closed off, very reserved and as far as we know he doesn't have any friend apart from Viktor and we don't know about his family either. The idea that he's been hurt and has to learn to love again is heartbreaking but the fact that he wants to do it for Jayce is so powerful.

He's willing to risk getting hurt again because of how much he loves Jayce

The idea that Viktor feels like he darkens Jayce's shine. That because he is less standing next to Jayce he makes him look like less. As if he is a stain of some kind. That was fucking brutal. Just brutal.

Also calling Jayce lover?! Excuse me?!

Also comparing Jayce to a Renaissance painting? Hello? How gay can you be?

Oh love it

Until Next Time

Top 3. Fuck!

The fucking idea that Viktor had lost sleep, crying over the unrequited feelings he has for Jayce that he realised aren't unrequited...that hurts so much to think about

And and and I think this is from Mage Viktor's peresotivs. This feels very him. Especially with the "timelines" and "possibilities" lines. That has to be him.

It really is just song form of what he said to Jayce. No matter what they will do whatever they can do to pull themselves together. Jayce will always choose Viktor and Viktor can't stand the idea of letting Jayce go. They just can't.

But the fact that he says "you don't need to say it back" makes me think that maybe. Just maybe. Mage Viktor's Jayce never got the chance. Viktor turned him before he realised what he had done and Jayce never got to say it back...

And the emphasis on Viktor saying I love you makes me think he didn't either.

Oh this is so damn tragic. But it's amazing story telling

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Please go listen to these songs for yourself. It's Marcus Skeens' Infinity End album on Spotify. I need to go kiss this man and then cry.

[xxplastic-cubexx]

chat i think im gonna be sick

(Powers of X #6)

[falandosozin]

okay. so. im gonna try to adress everything you said but firstly, if you haven't seen people telling gay men to get over their genital preferences then you really haven't been around much. also. it's still a body part. the fact that it's been wrongly and horribly used to harm people before doesn't make it a natural reaction to feel nauseous at the mere thought of it. imma use a personal example ive talked about in this blog before - due to extreme medical childhood trauma i used to have a fobia of needles (and all things medical really) and id feel ill just thinking about it. sometimes id have to be sedated if they needed to have me on an iv. i went to therapy and after years i can now interact with doctors and get an injection without freaking out. because even though needles were used to harm me in the past, there's nothing inherently bad about it and my reaction wasn't only unnatural but actively harming me and i wanted it (my reaction) to go away.

you don't need to go to therapy if your reaction to thinking about two balls and a cock is to feel physically ill. you can very well live your whole life this way and never change it and that's perfectly fine!!! but it doesn't mean that it's a natural reaction (there's a difference between not being into something and feeling nauseous at the thought of it, and generally speaking, only one of those is healthy) and if you, personally, want to stop feeling this way, it should be your right to have access to treatments that could help you. it doesn't necessarily mean you need to like dick, because no one does. but if you want it to be an option, that should be your right. the fact that anon sent it to a sapphic blog only means that anon assumed it'd be more likely to find people repulsed by penis in online sapphic communities, which is a somewhat fair but really fucking sad assumption to make.

but. again. even if anon is actually wanting to get over her repulsion so she can have sex with someone with a dick. literally so fucking what. how does that affect your life in any way? why are people so fucking offended by this? so a lesbian wants to fuck someone with a dick, big fucking deal. like just get over it it's not harming anyone. we live in a society increasingly hostile towards queer people and we are currently losing our hard earned spaces. why would a lesbian wanting someone with a dick be anyone's priority if not only to divide our community?

yikes

[housederiva]

[moeblob]

Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.

Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.

[clubsmarties]

"I've got my show off skills. I have to use them." Eli pointed out as he knew Isa would be rolling his eyes over the phone. "Is it though? You know half of the agency would rather take easy cases than chase a rabbit hole. You're doing the work. The ones most would pass over. You're operating on the fact CIA is compromised too. I've taught you well. Use those paranoid skills to your advantage. Assume everyone is in on it."

Eli started to laugh as he could see his brother being surprised. "He got to jump you?" His laughter didn't subside. "Now who's really showing his age. I can't believe it." Once his laughter calmed down he could agree that going right into attack mode was mostly driven by fear. "He may be spooked. Either he's being threatened or someone he loves is."

"Leave it to us. We can dig around. I do have an in house agent I can bribe for information." The thought funny on its own. Laurel and Eli shared more than spit. "We can pull up the things you didn't get a chance to. Isa don't take this the wrong way but you do realize he is you? I was hoping the more you talked the more you'd realize how alike you are. He is you with the jazz situation only difference is he's not fucking her." Eli sighed into the phone. "No one gets more under your skin than your own past mistakes coming to greet you face to face."

"It's okay to want to know if he was in on it. But casting stones at his house when you're the one who moved out of a glass house probably not the brightest idea. Be the person I know you are. Be the guy who helps him even if he refuses it. From my experience not wanting help means you're at your wits end and are in desperation mode. I don't mean being his best friend but instead his best ally."

"If you need to share a piece of your real life for him to understand you won't hurt him. Do it. This world that we inhabit. There's so much deceit and games that it only takes one person to show that they're not like the rest. If you found at a bowling alley, you know he's not in a position to fend for himself. No matter how much he kicked your ass."

"I know you can do it. I need to let you go. But, call your best friend after breakfast and make sure you have a listening ear she's got a few things to tell you. I don't need to tell you this but be careful and if you need anything call me. I don't care the time. I love you." He didn't hang up but instead moved to the office across the nursery and turned on his light. He wasn't going to get sleep tonight it seemed. "What's the name of the bowling alley you found him at? You're in Lafayette." Not sounding surprised though since he had just turned on Issac's locator and saw he wasn't actually in Baton Rouge.

"That is true, I'm definitely feeling the age more these days. Oh okay, show-off," he grumbled, though the smile on his lips would've betrayed him. "I suppose not, but it is idiotic to jump into the most complicated case ever. Not to mention, I'm keeping this on the low. I don't want to tell anyone about this in case we have some eager ears at the CIA too." It was one of the first thoughts to cross his mind, had Karina or her people infiltrated his agency too.

Hearing Eli call him by his name, he knew that he had to sit quietly and just listen to his brother. He leaned his head back into the driver's seat, the car hadn't even been started. This was no longer a conversation to have on the drive home, so he remained parked behind the bowling alley. "Yeah, that might be the case." And, as he spoke, he thought back to their meeting earlier, beginning to think out loud. "I suppose, yes. His way of showing fear was to tackle the hell out of me, then yeah, fair enough." Isaac sighed in agreement, because that definitely was not in question. Although, he had not heard about her before this case, one thing was clear. Karina Hurst-Pollard was a formidable woman, and with access to the agency's resources, definitely not someone to underestimate. "That she does. At least as far as I've seen. I haven't finished my research yet." It did take twice as long to investigate when he was covering his track from his own peers and any other curious eyes.

He raised an eyebrow when Eli emphasized understanding his frustrated feeling. Yep, that's what he was feeling. He was irritated and his short temper didn't help. After that meeting, it just felt like this was more trouble than it was worth. Risking himself, possibly his family, for someone who didn't want help. "I hate it when you're right. Yeah, I am frustrated but dealing with frustrating people is the second bullet point of this job. It's mostly just, yeah. He annoyed me, more than I have been annoyed in ages. The thought of passing this on to someone tempted me."

Thinking of hie niece made him smile. He rarely missed her nighttime routine, or any time with her at all. Now that he thought about it, this was the first time in ages that he was out for a longer mission. "I miss that munchkin. If I can get some time, I'll call during the day so I can say hi to her. I'm sure Laurel would, she sees a new street and she's fascinated. I'll think about it, but it might not be safe. Best to stay home. True that, should've lied and said I was FBI too. Could've taken your old badge." Not that his badge would've gotten him far.

"I knew you'd get me one way or another," he admitted. "Well no, obviously I wouldn't want her to see my file. No, I'm not..okay maybe slight judgement. I just wanted to make sure the file didn't read another way. You had once told me I wasn't paranoid enough. I was just being extra careful this time around. Mines would look pretty bad." If that had made it in. He got lucky that his brother and his partner were able to keep most of it off the record.

"Neither would I, it's becoming more widespread too. His family being affected is concerning." He nodded slowly, even though Eli couldn't see him. Isaac also didn't feel comfortable leaving Wally in this situation, no matter how much he irritated him. "You're sure? You guys would look into this?" A stupid question knowing they definitely would. "No, I agree. It doesn't sit right with me that his niece might be in danger. Yep, same here. Made me think of Rosebud and my girl. Yes, that works for me. I'll send her everything as soon as I get back to the hotel. Don't really know if I'll get much sleep. My personal phone is always on for you guys. "

[tanicus-caesareth]

guarana drama, damage control

[jikigo]

you ever just see a post and just

. 😭

.⬅️🫀⬅️

[orcelito]

Having lost my cat, my uncle, my great grandmother, my grandma's best friend (& one of the people who helped raise me), AND my dad all within the span of 9 months,

I have little sympathy for people who use deaths as an excuse to be an asshole. I get it, it sucks. Get the fuck over it. Your grief is not an excuse to treat others like shit. What the fuck.

[mooodyblue]

venting abt unimportant things in da tags ignore me

[pepprs]

feeling misery and despair about going back to work btw. im trying to suppress it and i did a good job but the inevitable is inevitable

[kikuism]

just finished jade war. Um ‼️

[neurofaggot]

I'm up too early. I went to a friend's party and by god I stayed too long talking and doing drugs fjdkfhjf (ITS 5AM!!! Hell on earth) BUT. I do want a little record of like. How absolutely nice these people were - I'd never met them before, and they were so like. Nice and accepting and we had soooo many chats about being transgender (this was like. All 40yr old cis men) and they were just great. Like yes I stayed wayyyyy too long but by god were they some of the nicest people ever. I love my job (I get to meet cool af people and do free drugs and have fun. Like it's perfect)

[peapod20001]

Not a vent jus an emotional observation, but it kinda sucks when you slowly realize you can’t be the friend someone needs you to be

[girlivealwaysbean]

I love these lines so much I can not even express it