#NOT to make a joke about it
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in the hour or so it took me to draw this op turned reblogs off
EDIT: reblogs are STAYING OFF. op was right and correct and i have never regretted making a post as much as this one. if you want to reblog my art you can reblog something else from my blog. or commission me, lord knows i deserve financial compensation for the nightmare this post has put me through
#art#i had to block multiple people because of this post and i easily could have blocked more#do you guys have any idea how exhausting it is to hear 400 people make the exact same unfunny joke each thinking they're being original#or worry that another person might get harassed over a post i made because of the way people are talking about them#or be harassed/insulted YOURSELF because some people don't know how to fucking behave#you guys don't get reblogs back. you should be grateful i'm leaving the post up at all.
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I'm as grateful for cellphones as the next person, but sometimes I think about how everyone having a phone on them at all times really did cause us to loose some things as a society. I mean - for example, kids these days will never experience their car breaking down and needing to find the nearest place with a phone they can use. They're never going to have the opportunity to tentatively approach a house only to discover that it's full of queer people having a party hosted by a transvestite to celebrate his creation of a sex homunculus, stay the night, and loose their virginity while unintentionally partaking in cannibalism. It's tragic, that kind of gay sexual awakening just doesn't happen these days because of cellphones.
#do i have actual legitimate thoughts on how cell phones have altered the fabric of society in both positive and negative ways?#yes.#am i making a dumb joke about rocky horror picture show instead of articulating the complex cultural changes wrought by their ubiquity?#also yes.#in which i say things
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she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.
my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.
my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.
my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.
at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.
my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.
i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.
two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.
it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.
#writeblr#wlw#i often think about like.....#being happy in a gay relationship is sometimes so odd#bc u can forget how stupid ppl are.#bc ur so USED to being gay. and u forget other people GENUINELY ARE homophobic#so it's like. girl pardon?????#but also there are moments where it's like. ohhh the kids are alright#like watching someone razz someone else.... so fucking wholesome#“lemme get this bitche's pronouns before i make gentle fun of them” .... i would have KILLED for that.#THAT is how u know ur accepted#not just tolerated#..... when ppl are like. sure ur nonbinary congrats but WHAT is this fucking sunscreen application#ps idk if "razz'' is a real word but someone asked what it means -#i've always heard it as being a term for 'gentle & friendly teasing'' which like#i personally notice more from my guy friends but is like - when a person isn't#LIKE ACTUALLY teasing u (it's nothing personal/mean) they're just laughing w/you about something#my friends often put on a little voice and call me an anemic little bitch#like 'ooooo the anemic little bitch is cold??? does she need a mouse blanket#bc she's SOOOO SMALL AND ANEMIC???''#and it doesn't hurt my feelings (it makes me laugh very hard) bc 1. i actually called MYSELF that first#and 2. i'm not sensitive about it!!!#a proper razz is when you are ALSO in on the joke - i ALSO think it's funny#for some people i personally find that when they razz u it's when they love u -#they've noticed something genuine about u and love u enough that u know they're not being mean#this is cultural and personality based of course but i'm hispanic#if someone isn't making fun of me it means they hate me . obviously.
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Keep seeing that post where OP starts like 'Thinking about...grieving the undead' and then adds on about like. Real life situations where people have not died but have left your life and you would have reason to grieve them.
All respect, that's an important concept, but that is not what I am thinking about when I read 'grieving the undead'.
#your brother is a vampire. he's sitting across the table from you chatting with your mother about her day#and he's dead and he's gone and he's never coming back.#he laughs the same and he talks the same but his arm is cold when he grabs you in a headlock and your dog won't be in the same room with hi#he'll still hang around watching TV with you and give you wedgies and make stupid jokes#but you can't tell him about the bullies at school anymore because this thing with your brother's face will just find them and kill them.#and not even stupid fucking Jason deserves what the monster in your dead brother's skin would do to him.#your brother is dead and lost and right there in arm's reach and gone forever with no hope of ever getting him back.#i'm sure there are corollaries to be written about like ghosts and zombies but this is the one i'm personally hung up on recently
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symbolism can be whatever you want it to be and now that theres 7 life series we can make the winners deadly sins if we want. heres my proposition:
grian: pride (vibes) scott: sloth (laid back in most seasons) pearl: envy (towards the other soul pairings) martyn: gluttony (time is delicious) scar: greed (seashells on the sea shore) cleo: wrath (die for me) joel: lust (hes gonna fuck that car)
#life series spoilers#wild life spoilers#this is a shitpost but someone who knows more about the topic is welcome to do a serious edition#i DID almost make a scott: pride (gay) joke
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The daily planet runs a front page article calling superman the light of mankind
Cue the batfam launching a counter campaign in support of Signal, the real Light of Mankind.
It starts as a joke but quickly derails into an all out war.
#bruce offended parent and signals biggest fan wayne#hes so petty about it during JL meetings. he shuts down all the lights on the watchtower#Batman we cant see#well thats not a problem cause the light of mankind should be able to light up the room while stating directly at superman who just#looks so resigned#Tim floods the internet with pictures of Duke using his powers and fighting villians all with the hashtag theRealLightOfMankind#Duke is having the time of his light#he poses for Tim and makes rainbows on days it rains and poses like sailor moon#its a fun joke for Duke#its a matter of life or death for the rest of them#Dick has to stop Damian from breaking out the kryptonite not knowing that Jason has already stolen it and is heading for metropolis#batfamily#batfam#bruce wayne#batman#signal#duke thomas#tim drake#red robin#dick grayson#nightwing#superman
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this is actually so funny. imagining garth quipping and contributing to the conversation in his head cause he forgot the rest of the teen titans can't pick up on his telepathy
#garth: makes useful comments about the mission#(is completely ignored cause no one can hear him)#garth: damn they hate my ass 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#garth of shayeris#teen titans#dc#dc comics#can u tell ive been reading teen titans volume 1#the audience letters are my favorite bit#garth: wow ok so u guys hate my jokes#wally: we have been standing in silence for the last 8 minutes
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Being forcefully raised as a woman is not any less traumatic and emotionally repressive as being forcefully raised as a man. Femininity is not inherently pure and safe. Coercing someone to perform femininity is not any less toxic than coerced masculinity. Being dysphoric around femininity or having trauma from women doesn’t make you a misogynist.
#transandrophobia#transmasculine experiences#antitransmasculinity#transmisandry#im so exhausted from both cis and trans people acting like trans men choosing to engage with femininity as much or as little as we want is#somehow a statement on how we feel about women#and not just our own personal comfort#make all the forced fem jokes you would like#but remember those of us who were forced to be feminine#actually experienced serious trauma from that#and deserve a space to talk about it
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once you hit adulthood a day will come when you’re suddenly like VEGETABLES 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 and it never goes away
#talks#its not about previously disliking vegetables.#I specified adult just because of the way my body started decomposing and rotting once i went meals without.#also i was just making a joke abt myself getting randomly more into vegetables one day. its really not the kind of one sentence post#that should justify weirdly accusatory assumptions
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considering how many transmascs were legitimately way angrier BEFORE starting T and have since calmed down significantly have we perhaps considered that maybe the reason so many cis dudes are angry and aggressive isn't because of testosterone but maybe. like. personal issues. unmet needs. a social climate that teaches them that there are only like three acceptable emotional outlets for men max and one of them is being angry and shouting
#spitblaze says things#source: i got angry SO easily before i started t#i had jokes about the list of things you could say to me that would make me rant and rave in a fury#i still have things that piss me off but im not like. to that degree#doin numbers
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I must not respond to the bad take. Responding to the bad take is the mind-killer. Responding to the bad take is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face the bad take. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the bad take has gone there will be nothing. Only I (and my good takes) will remain.
#my nonsense#surely someone has made this exact post already#I want to clarify that this isn't even really about anything I just thought of the joke and thus was compelled to make it
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#bwark#pkmn leaks#can we stop labelling a bunch of devs as terrible for literally just writing mythology that didn't even make it inti the game and wasn't#supposed to be seen by the public#esp the people naming and shaming the person who wrote them like jesus christ there's literal doxxing going on rn can we be mature#and like i said last night we have our own fair share of fucked up fairy tales and folklore in the west#so this discussion is giving the vibes of ''anime is uniquely perverted unlike our pure and innocent western animation''#like why are we singling out japanese mythology here lmao#ofc you're allowed to be uncomfortable with the leaks. i am and im definitely glad they were scrapped. but can we also be mature about it#it literally is not as big or horrible on gamefreak's end as people are making it out to be#it was scrapped for a reason. it was too much for this video game for children. can we move on or are people gonna make the same unfunny#joke about it#ask to tag?
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Michael doesn’t like Halloween anymore in FNAF..
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf fanart#michael afton#abby schmidt#fnaf gregory#fnaf 4#security breach#fnaf movie#listen this started as a funny grim joke#but the more I think about#I genuinely think Michael doesn’t like Halloween#and has not worn a costume since the events of fnaf 4#I CAN UNDERSTAND that the whole occasion just makes him numb now#so he truly hasn’t worn a costume since the foxy mask#something that use to make him happy as kid#is now just another month for him#sorry for this funny comic to be sad#ILL MAKE a comic where Michael’s happy again sometime promise 😔
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gideon & harrow OR rd and sf as cowboys please please please
It's the cowgirl necro and her gunslinger cav! Who is so damn extra she's got three guns: one left, one right, and one in pole position! (She swears the ladies love it!)
#You just KNOW gideons makes tons of these 'is that a gun or are you just happy to see me' jokes#She holds the third gun in her mouth#looking so damn stupid but grinning like shes the coolest lmao#how are you even going to shoot girl#also: the paint has to get onto the skin somehow#hmm. lot to think about...#that was such a fun prompt dear ! I ended up enjoying this waaaaay too much <3#gideon nav#harrowhark nonagesimus#I'm not gonna tag it griddlehark but in my mind this IS griddlehark - because this outfit would make Harrow go insane lmao#not that she'd ever let griddle take one step outside looking like that if we're talking serious#but it's a look - a look I LOVE#tlt#the locked tomb#my art#requests
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That's how it went
#tma#the magnus archives#tma podcast#magpod#mag 160#tma spoilers#tma s4#tma season four#jonathan sims#elias bouchard#my stuff#thats all i could think of after hearing elias talk abt jon being an archive#all jokes aside it makes me so sad and crazy to think abt it#like theres a lot in tma about losing ones humanity#and jons choices surely contribute to him losing it as well#but for the most part its him being dehumanised by others#well mostly elias and his plans of creating an archive of fear#jon going from 'a person having a position (the head archivist)' -> 'a person being a position (the archivist)' and finally to 'a position#(an archive)#its just so sad#and the fact that it ties with him losing bodily autonomy and being viewed like an object instead of a person#im dead on the floor crying#okay im done sorry#tma shitpost
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Whar does rpf mean 💔💔💔
historians aren't quite sure. Albert Einstein's last words were "rpf is fine" and we've been searching ever since
#i make yet anothet post just for me 👍#we have mail :]#(it means real-person-fic. as in real person fanfiction)#(most rpf is about the real people's personas. think celebrities or sports or actors or youtubers)#(its technically about the real people- but the writing is more about the things we see in their public persona)#(and the jokes they make or the stories they tell)#1k#2k#3k#<- woke up today. to 999+ notifications#god free me#4k#5k
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