#i DID almost make a scott: pride (gay) joke

[redstonedust]

symbolism can be whatever you want it to be and now that theres 7 life series we can make the winners deadly sins if we want. heres my proposition:

grian: pride (vibes) scott: sloth (laid back in most seasons) pearl: envy (towards the other soul pairings) martyn: gluttony (time is delicious) scar: greed (seashells on the sea shore) cleo: wrath (die for me) joel: lust (hes gonna fuck that car)

[tessatechaitea]

Midnighter and Apollo #2

White covers like this make me realize I really need to clean the glass on my scanner. Gross.

For a nerdy Lobot motherfucker, Bendix isn't as smart as I would have thought he was programmed to be.

The gauntlet that Midnighter must run to escape from the Bendix's Samoan Bunker (that sounds like a dessert I might one day invent) consists of a swarm of eagles with lasers on their heads, a screaming holograph of Thomas Jefferson that shoots eyeball lasers, GI Robot, a hail of throwing stars and arrows, vanilla pudding dropped from the ceiling like boiling oil, and a pit full of hungry babies. Midnighter manages to get through it all in time to stop Mawzir from shooting Apollo in the head. But I still think he's too late because the cover of the third issue shows Midnighter at the gates of Hell. The Mawzir flees from Midnighter for some reason. Maybe because Midnighter reminds him too much of Tommy Monaghan. Or maybe The Mawzir is just smarter than me and knows when it's gone too far. Not that I've ever gone too far! Pshaw! Oh! I've got an aside. Don't worry, it isn't about how truly stupid Donald Trump is. It's about the other Republicans in our government! Hey, Republican voters? I'm a big time liberal pinktard (is that what you call us?) and I don't totally disagree with some of Republican policies. I mean, I disagree with all of them currently (and probably have sense they decided governing should be closely related to elementary school recess interactions without an adult supervising (as I perceive it, that was sometime in the 90s after Clinton was elected and they were all butthurt that they weren't in control of filling their pockets with corporate and lobbyist money)). What I'm suggesting, Republican voters, is fucking do something about the people you want representing you. They're all selfish assholes who only care about maintaining their position of power and easy income. They don't fucking care about anybody and Trump is the best example of these monsters you've decided are somehow representative of the white working class (they're not. I'm fucking white working class and I would never agree with anything any of these current load of smegma-smelling idiots ever). Oh, I guess this was a little bit about Trump. Shit. I just realized that off-topic paragraph was probably a waste of time. This is a comic book about two gay dudes! Why would a Republican be reading it?!

Stop fucking the bullet wound and get him to a hospital, you sicko perv!

Midnighter decides to put Apollo in a room pumping in solar energy to try to bring him back to life. I really hope that we don't have to put up with an Apollo Boy and a Cyborg Apollo and Apollo Steel followed by Red and Blue Electric Powered Apollo! I don't know if I could go through that again and I didn't even really pay attention to it the first time. When the infusion of solar radiation doesn't seem to be working, Midnighter visits some guy named Extraño to find out where Apollo's soul went. It's so fucking obvious he went to Hell. You know why I think that. You know. I mentioned earlier how I've already seen the cover to Issue #3. Midnighter discovers Apollo is in Hell being tortured by Neron. Uh oh. Apollo is in for a terrible time. Not because he's in Hell! But because shit rolls downhill and Neron has just recently been shat all over by Constantine. He's definitely looking to make somebody else's life crazy miserable. And by life, I guess I mean death? Midnighter decides he's going to go save Apollo. Do you think he already knows how this ends? I do and he'd better not fucking look back on the way out! The Ranking! +1 Ranking! Reading well-written Midnighter stories makes me happy. It's like reading Batman stories but where Batman doesn't have a huge stick up his ass. Instead he has a huge dick up his ass! Har har! That joke was entirely too immature even for this blog because I really meant the thing about Midnighter being like Batman minus the stick up his ass. Comparing it to another thing that happened to me today — finding a used sanitary napkin on top of my work clothes — I'd say this is the best comic book I've ever read in my entire life! Also enjoyable today: using the term "sanitary napkin"! Now I'm picturing a vagina dabbing daintily at its ketchup-stained lips after removing the hot dog from its orifice. At a picnic, of course!