#NARCISSISM

[oyasumihikari]

(Got a more serious post here.)

My mom got really bad long COVID in late 2020, early 2021 — stroke-like symptoms, barely able to walk, couldn’t keep 99% of what she ate and drank down, couldn’t sleep for more than a couple hours each night, the whooole shebang.

I was 14 or 15 at the time, also chronically ill, but not as bad (it’s gotten worse as I’ve gotten older though). My father, who is in his 50s, barely did jack shit to help her. I had to become a caregiver for my mother when I was still in high school, while my narcissistic father did the bare-fucking-minimum. (Not using narcissist as a general insult — my mom has a degree in psychology and she and I both genuinely think he’s a narcissist.) It’s a good thing my school offered a remote learning option that year.

I hid in my bedroom for most of the time. When my (ex-)best friend and her mom would visit us, we hid in my room and I clung to her out of stress the entire time while her mom took over as caregiver.

I am SO fucking glad Mom’s getting a divorce at some point. A LOT of things have led up to it over the past decade or so, culminating in him trying to steal a dream job at a local radio station that both Mom and I would love to have. That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. It won’t be finalized until she can be guaranteed she’ll be safe to (my father’s played a LOT of bullshit games over the past six months) but still.

(Oh, by the way, my mom’s doing a LOT better now. She still struggles with symptoms, but she can walk and talk now and be a functional person. She’ll have flare-ups, of course, but she’s made a lot of progress in the past four or five years. I’m really damn proud of her ❤️)

Why is it always up to disabled people to look after other disabled people. Why do able-bodied people feel no obligation to assist? Why do they throw the additional responsibility on disabled individuals. Why is their whole system built on isolating groups??

[th1rdt3chnician]

who up hating pop psychology

[planesofdelusion]

What Narcissism Is:

holding yourself to extremely high standards (if I'm not perfect at it, I'm a failure)

being incredibly sensitive to criticism (becoming suicidal if you think someone thinks you're bad at something)

having a very brittle sense of self-worth that's heavily reliant on what others think of you

What Narcissism is Not:

being uniquely abusive

having no morals

being a bad person

ETA: this is not an exhaustive list of NPD traits! more traits than these are necessary to have NPD! I chose these particular features to emphasize things that aren't often talked about outside of dedicated NPD communities and to highlight the fact that NPD is a disorder based in the internalized fear that you are never good enough.

[psychotic-tbh]

Stop saying…

“Psychotic/Schizophrenic” when you mean: unpredictable, unhinged, unreal, etc.

“Bipolar” when you mean: polarized, scattered, fickle, unstable, etc.

“Delusional” when you mean: unrealistic, unreasonable, close-minded, stubborn, etc.

“[insert “R” slur in relation to intellectual disabilities]” when you mean: unreasonable, unintelligent/ridiculous, immature, etc.

“OCD” when you mean: particular, neat, overbearing, etc.

“Narcissistic” when you mean selfish, abusive, manipulative, etc.

Note: I’m NOT saying that these are synonymous. This is also not an exhaustive list.

[aftonsreprise]

Show me where I said that they deserved the abuse, past or present. I critiqued the label they chose in reference to the abuse. I never said that your abuse was not real or that your abusers do not have NPD. I never said that you deserved abuse or could have prevented it. I also never said that an abuser should be protected simply because they have NPD.

This has nothing to do with age either... I wholeheartedly believe that some adults can be more innocent than some children in this regard, but I digress…

If you want to present yourself as a real abuse victim, maybe don’t lie about people saying you were asking about it when the receipts are right there, and I did nothing of the sort.

I have no reason to not believe that you were a victim of abuse at the hands of someone with NPD. However, I also have no reason to believe that this abuse was unique specifically due to your abuser’s NPD or that it should be labelled as a direct consequence of the condition.

It’s very ironic that you take issue with this statement as someone with BPD. Go look through r/BPDlovedones. See if the way they frame their own issues with their abusers as a result of the disorder you have seems fair to you. Consider whether or not you think their manipulation tactics are unique to those with trauma responses comparable to yours. Think about whether or not you would want to be grouped in with that and have articles about how to trigger you circulate online and then be excused by the hypothetical issue of “borderline abuse”.

You are the narcissist’s more erratic cousin. Perhaps that is how they knew exactly how to play you.

…So just the effects of abuse?

So… JUST ABUSE?

[plutonus]

[only-man-in-the-sky]

[thedeadpoets-blog]

“The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it.”

-Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray

[mirroringshards]

sorry for being mentally ill and actually having symptoms it will happen again xoxo

[american-boyboss]

[vintage-tigre]

Margaret Qualley in The Substance (2024)

[narcitism]

my abuser had brown hair im a victim of brunette abuse :(

[gayvampyr]

the linguistic appropriation cycle

[draculian-accomplishments]

Reminder for people with Personality Disorders:

You can be in therapy for years to be able to cope.

You can mask the difficulties you have.

You can cope well with your disorders.

You can function in daily life.

But the day you have a bad day, the day you're so overwhelmed that the mask slips and you simply say one thing, the neurotypicals will use it against you and use it to abuse you.

Abuse is a choice. Abusers make the choice to abuse someone. Not every abuser has a personality disorder. There are plenty of abusers that are Neurotypical. Plenty of neurotypicals will abuse those with PDs due to the stigma and misinformation around them.

Quit using terms like "Narcissistic/Histrionic/Borderline/Anti-Social Abuse"

Quit using "Narcissist" and "Anti-Social" as insults.

Quit justifying abuse towards people with PDs.

Quit armchair diagnosing abusers and assholes with Personality Disorders when you don't know the lived experience of people with them.

Stop fucking appealing to Neurotypicals.