#My life studying for boards
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▪︎☆ vision board ▪︎☆
#aesthetic#study motivation#studyblr#studying#study space#studygram#lifestyle#student life#studyspo#study notes#my stuff#student#studystudystudy#study session#study blog#life goals#educate yourself#self improvement#self worth#discipline#vision board#give me credit
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Guess who’s been working all day on a paper / presentation that’s due in two days???
me. Duh. 💜
stay studying and stay bad.
#Should I make a journaling post or a Pinterest motivation board next?🤔#studyspo#studying#studyblr#study motivation#my stuff#study blog#student#study aesthetic#student life#university
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6th October 2024, Sunday
productivity challenge - quitting this shit okay 😭 not like i ever followed it. productivity challenges just aren't for me ig
💤 8:30 a.m.
🕒 7 hrs
last packing
showered
morning skincare
changed laptop wallpapers
left for our trip (spent like 4hrs in the car tangling my hair in wind)
read: the ballad of never after (the plot is thickening!)
walked a lot ig
night skincare
🕒 12 a.m.
7th October 2024, Monday
💤 8 hrs
🕒 8 a.m.
morning skincare
wished a friend happy birthday!
walked more ig!!
spent like 5 more hours in the car on the way back home
🕒 11:30 p.m.
🎧 gracie abrams!
#gonna be changing my format from now onwards!#mithi's own#mithistudies#cbse board#cbse school#cbse education#student#indian students#science student#realistic studyblr#student life#studying#studyspo#study motivation#study blog#studyblr community#studyblr#studystudystudy#study#study aesthetic
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hello guys <3 i've been absent for a looooong while but i want to know, how have you been doing?!
#i have some news on my part :)#namely being 4 days away from finally finishing med school!! and then there's only the board exam left to do and i'll finally start practic#the studies have really taken up almost my whole time and drawing has been shift to like...... fourth or fifth plan :/#regardless. i dont regret it because im currently loving what im studying. everything finally seems like its falling in place#if u remember the fwb situation ive mentioned a few times here before as well. thats also taking up a lot of my time ahah turns out#we really enjoy being around each other and always end up making time in our schedules to be together during the week so....#even though were technically not a item hes been great company and great inspiration. its amazing when you have someone who respects#and supports you and your dreams and pushes you towards your goals and towards being better#yeah. everythings feeling like its falling in place in my life and it has been feeling great :)
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20–02–2024, Tuesday
I've got psychology finals tomorrow. *screaming, crying, throwing up* i hope it goes really well 😃🕯
2 hour lecture
psychology
ranting in tags
#honestly regretting my life choices#WHOO DA HECK TOLD ME TO TAKE UP PSYCHOLOGY AS THE 6TH SUBJECT#!?!?!?#1. it was an option 2. i could have not opted for it 3. i had a choice 4. i had 3 months to change my decision as well#BUT NOOO I HAD TO KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT AND STUDY THIS GODDAMN SUBJECT AND WAIT FOR THE BOARD REGISTRATION FOR NEXT YEAR TO GET OVER UNTIL#I FINALLY STARTED REGRETTING MY STUPID DECISION#i hate u bianca di i mean i love u but i hate that i got SO motivated by seeing u take up science AND psych that i opted for it the minute#it was my turn WITHOUT A SECOND THOUGHT#oooh my god i hate this i hate this i hate this#I'll hate this into a wonderful paper#just wait & watch#productivity#neetcore#neetblr#studyblr#study motivation#studying#neet#neet preparation#stem#study blog
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next week is my last week of school everrrrr i'm so ready to be done
#personal#just gotta get my life together to submit my application for boards/licensure#and plan a study schedule........
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judge me by my bookshelf (and the two books on my coffee table). this is mostly something i think jo will enjoy
#it’s an ECCLECTIC COLLECTION. bc it’s a mix of ‘50¢ at second hand shop’ ‘bought bc i like’ ‘gifted’ and ‘stole from my dads old stuff’#featuring an extremely blurry background of my letter board#that has the ‘real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time’ hogfather quote#which i take special delight in given how many hours i’ve spent in my life studying AI lol#two books are redacted here for doxxing reasons#a biography of the namesake of the engineering school at my uni#and my dad’s dissertation lol
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like I’ve been generally fine in my teenage years (no more unhappier than from the average dose of teen angst) but man do I miss the excitement I’d get from those fantasy Geronimo Stilton books
#like my worldview on life was so different then#Obv it was Pri school so it was more chill (I was arguably too chill and messed up my psle)#But you know what I’m actually so fine w that! I’m happy that at least in some point in my life studies weren’t hanging over my head#Like a guillotine#And I would find so much joy in the little things like hell yeah new book!!!#because a part of me feels like I’m never going to feel that undiluted childlike joy ever again#And I’ve killed myself so much on every exam since#baby me deserved to have a little happiness in her life#I still think 12 is way too young for the first major board exam#Esp one so heavily surrounded by stigmas/reputation/prestige of the school you get into#like you’re setting a child up for the rest of their life and they’re not even a teen yet#thankfully it’s gotten a lot better (in terms of tangible change in sg societys mindset)#but god was it brutal for me in 2018/2019#anyways trip down memory lane over heheh
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what the fuck is the point of assigning fifty pages of reading in one night even if i was neurotypical that’s not possible
#not to mention this is fucking study abroad#like oh so sorry i went exploring LIKE WE WERE LITERALLY ASSIGNED TO DO#rather than reading fifty pages#also can you imagine. i go home and my parents are like ‘oh what did you do?’ and im like ‘no exploring only reading’ like that’d be fucked#but i simply never learned how to skim so bullshitting this discussion board is gonna be heard#*hard#life of a boomerang
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so tired of being a shitty bandaid for my parents' loneliness. like have u ever considered you passed your curse to me and some days i feel so lonely it's like i can't breathe around the emptiness in my chest????
#my dad is like#you can't just be in your room all the time then what's the point of you living here if ill be sitting here all alone then#and im like bhai what#mom also says this to me she always wanted to sit and rant and she used to say you never talk to me#both of these people don't even fucking get it that they're not even interested in me listening to me#mom just wants a sounding board for her venting and dad just wants someone to pretend everything is okay and happy all the time and#the only important things in life is the immediate present and food and making money and stuff#i swear this is why i feel so ????? about myself my identity like no i can't describe myself#because there is no myself there is just a white sheet of paper where people can write whatever they want#im so tired man#why can't they just go and live with each other and leave us kids out of it 😭🙏#like i genuinely am getting teary eyed about such a small thing but god. i want to have my own life so bad. im sick of feeling all these#complicated emotions guilt and anger and pity and obligation and duty like just god pls fuck off#people my age are so fucking mature and put together than me so confident so clear about their path#have friends partners breakups parties just so many new memories#and im just stuck.#and im fine with it now because i get it studying is really important and this is quite basic requirement to be perfect at#atleast my syllabus to survive in this industry#but then. let me do that only. please don't make me pretend to like you like spending time with you and everything#ive hated you for like. idk 14 whole years. since the first time you hit mom in front of me#i remember it so well like my childhood broke that day you slammed her into a wall for some stupid fight and her hair was all messy and#untied and you shouted so loud i thought surely everyone can hear. and then you left to roam around the city at night with your friends#i remember this because my mom and my sister sent me to check up on you with the excuse of a painting of a parrot that i had made#i didn't understand anything back then#but yeah fuck you fuck you fuck you for being so fucking delusional thinking i love you or something#ive prayed to god that you die and i still do#it would directly mean 4 people being happy#anyway#dni#this was meant to be fun and short lol fuck
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So, I'm at college now.and in 6/7 months theres my boards. And after that my uni admission exam. I'm trying to be ready for it after wasting 1 year fully. But i managed, and i can manage more i believe. From now there Will be regular update of my studies, exams,Study hours and clearing backlogs!! As I also wanna track my journey❤️
Wish me good luck.I believe i Won't disappoint you or myself❤️❤️
#self improvement#study#exam season#student#highlights#student life#getting better#im trying#stay with me#inshallah#hopefully#my boards#stress#self help#will try my best#pray for me#mental health#late night studying#study aesthetic#support
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Overwhelmed by nostalgia actually
#this will sound SO elitist of me#but#i miss my summer course at the boarding school that was closed after the summer and they carved out an artificial lake on the manor grounds#and converted the cozy two-person dorm rooms to have bunk beds to fit six to eight kids#apparently they also 'refurbished' a historic building on the site :(#i mean i'm glad someone is taking care of the site - it's so beautiful#but i miss the way it was soooo much and there's no way to go to that place again except in memories#and then !! sequel - cambridge 2019#granted it would probably be much the same as a town if i went in summer again but it really was when i learned how much i love university#but yeah deeply sad and insane about [redacted] manor i miss it sooooo much#one of my teachers actually really liked me and wanted to seriously talk about me studying there full time oabdlskdödldöfo#obviously it was never going to happen because who pays english boarding fees when you can study 100% for free at home#but what if in an alternate universe i did study there#idk i don't feel that sad about THAT missed chance#mostly because i'm legit replicating it w my master's#but i do wonder if i'm going to spend the rest of my life chasing similar places and the way i felt that summer when i was 15 🥹#if you send me a dm and we're friends etc i will show you pictures of the manor because it looks amazing
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btw similar to the whole "if you try adderall at a party and it calms you down, get an adhd test" thing, if at some point in your life you try microdosing shrooms with a friend and end up feeling like a functional person for the first time in your life, get tested for depression. like yeah hallucinogens come with elation so youre probably gonna have some "this is the best ive ever felt in my life" vibes regardless, but like. if that in and of itself feels like finally breathing in for the first time in years, thats for sure a sign that something is up with your ability to process serotonin most of the time. feeling better than ever before should be a nice bonus, not a crushing weight off your chest
#fun fact there are currently multiple ongoing studies vis a vis the effectiveness of psilocybin on depression#both on its own and as a companion to ssris#psylocybin targets the 5ht2a serotonin receptors which wikipedia tells me are more numerous in the brains of those with depression#so like. if you spend most of your life feeling like your brain is an aquarium with a leak in it and serotonin is the water and your default#state is 'slightly damp gravel grinding painfully against itself' thats ummm not normal 👍#and on the flipside of that if you have depression that no other med has worked for and know a guy. its 1000% worth it#origibberish#also i say 'wikipedia tells me' as if i just looked it up but that all comes from a long night of spite filled research after i asked my#psychiatrist if we could use the fact that psylocybin worked for me as a basis to like. narrow down which legal antidepressant#might work instead of basically just throwing darts at a board every time#and after several minutes explaining to her that i was not just asking her to prescribe me shrooms but in a legal way she went#'ohhhh yeah no unfortunately theres been no research into that‚ yeah.... sorry......:)'#which. as far as 'lies you come up with on the spot to avoid having to say i dont know' go‚ that is. maybe the worst one to pick#like. 'no‚ thats not an option'? alright fine maybe theres some internal rules or something who knows#'theres no research' though just. immediately tanks any and all credibility 100% even on its own but considering the subject matter?#youre telling me. that humans. the famously curious species that researches fucking Everything. and also Loves playing with drugs. when#trying to figure out how to make drugs that make brains feel good. would not start with the drugs they already knew made brains feel good.#youre telling me that not one (1) singular scientist tried shrooms and went 'oh my god wait. i dont feel like im dying for the first time#ever. holy fuck i need to study this'#complete misplay. absolutely legendary fumble. there were so many ways to fuck it up and somehow you found the worst. congratulations#om the other hand though. really was an excellent setup for the punchline that is the voicemail i have from them saying she'd been fired LOL#they didnt say what for specifically but yknow. based on my own experiences i certainly have theories jebfksbfk#it was annoying in the moment but at the end of the day i have shrooms and she doesnt have the job so. whos laughing now emily KSBFKSBFKDN#this is what i mean though like. rn i feel fine. not on top of the world‚ not like a god#just. fine. i just dont feel like shit. i feel like i can do stuff if i want to‚ or chill peacefully and have it actually be. relaxing.#i dont feel like gravel right now‚ i feel like a person.#and god what a fucking relief it is#really i guess the moral overall is that if at any point you react to trying a new drug the same way an addict craving a hit for days would#then there maybe is something up with your brain chemistry because that means your default state of existence is comparable to that#of withdrawal. a famously shit experience
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I started playing Hades (finally) so I'd have some breaks from studying, but now I am. Consumed.
#miya rambles#oh yeah if i didn't mention before my life is now like just studying for board exams outside of work until May
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will i slay these finals or will these exams slay me? stay tuned to know!
#study motivation#studyblr#study blog#desi studyblr#student life#study aesthetic#studyinspo#cbse exam#student#boards#cbseboard#cbse class 10#cbse class 10 boards#long time no see#hellooooo#im back#sick and tired#excuse my handwriting#seeking motivation tbh
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fucking hell my schedule this week
#shamsisms#tomorrow is fine i just have basketball practice#tuesday we have an away game AND it’s pasteup day for newspaper. hi#and wednesday i have a doctors appointment and i have a meeting for mock trial old/new board (DIES!!!!!!!!! IM GOING TO DIE)#and then thursday i have tests in ap physics AND in ap envisci#i haven’t done any of my study guide or anything for envisci. haha. i’m in danger#AND THEN I HAVE AN ENVISCI PROJECT DUE FRIDAY.#so it’s a juggling kind of week. anyway.#the weekend is going to be worse i have piano workshop friday then#practice sat + piano recital + piano class saturday#and then my sisters bday sunday. guys what the hell is wrong w my life. quoting paci#anyways. goodnight everyone 🫶
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