#My brother literally calls me over so my luck gets him whatever he wants in his games

[pinustree]

The way I can predict getting the thing from mystery boxes, roulletes, etc is genuinely wild.

But I guess im not the God of Luck for nothing /hj

[nogenderbee]

Fuck I got the thing wrong. Its called uhm.. I dont remember. Wait I need to do extensive research.

Okay, I found it, its called the Clarity meme, yknow, that one where they fall off a buidling or something. It's been too long.

Sincerely, 💜

No worries! I think Lucifer, Mammon and Diavolo are the only ones with wings but I might have missed some characters so feel free to tell me if I did ^^" but anyway, I hope you enjoy <3

Clarity meme with Lucifer, Mammon, Diavolo

⊱ Lucifer is very strict as student, brother and even boyfriend! So you thought that you might as well make it all a little bit more fun

⊱ so one day, when you were hanging out with him on some roof, you decided to just jump off and yell after him to catch you

⊱ it could be just a silly little idea for you but he just had a panic attack over there, you're his lover and exchange student so he can't let you get hurt

⊱ he literally throws whatever he was doing away and just jumps after you in his demon form

⊱ don't expect that it all will end on him catching you and putting you back on roof, oh no, he casts a spell so you can go away from him for more than 3 meters

⊱ he also definitely scolds you for being reckless and not thinking what could happen if he wasn't fast enough

⊱ you might think that he's mad at you which is partially true but being honest he was extremely worried since he doesn't want to loose another one he loves

"What was going through your mind when you jumped off the roof? Do you know you could die there? You're not leaving my side for the next month."

⊱ Mammon always liked a little bit of fun and risk so you thought that he won't mind that little idea of yours

⊱ when you were hanging out on school roof since you had a break and corridors were loud, you decided that it was perfect time to realize your plan

⊱ being honest, when you screamed after him to catch you, he felt like he's just having a bad nightmare but of course he jumped after you without thinking

⊱ he better not being counting his money right now tho because he'll get mad at you for interrupting it but of course he still throws it away for you

⊱ after he goes back at roof with you in his arms, he rejects to let you go so good luck because you're in his arms till the end of this break

⊱ he scolds you after it tho telling you that you could've died if The Mammon wouldn't save you and that you should be glad that he did so

"Are ya stupid?! Human, ya could die right there! You're lucky that The Mammon was there to save you. You're not leaving my side as show if gratitude, got it?"

⊱ he might say that you not leaving his side is just form of gratitude but he just wants you by his side for as long as he can

⊱Asmo, similiar to his second eldest brother, also likes a little bit of fun but not necessarily that risky...

⊱ he was hanging out on roof with you since it was good place for selfies he wanted to do for his Devilgram

⊱ so when you screamed for him to catch you while he was taking photos, he literally panicked

⊱ but of course he threw his phone away and run after you, luckily already in his demon form since he was shooting photos in it

⊱ when he finally put you back on roof, he'll scold you that you could have hurt yourself and you better pray that he didn't broke any of his nails while saving you or else he'll make you pay your price

"Darling! Why did you do that?! Don't you know you could hurt that pretty face of yours?!"

⊱ yeah, he's not loosing you from his eyesight ever again

⊱ you and Beel were hanging out at the school roof and eating your lunches, and you thought that it's perfect time try your little plan

⊱ you were a little scared of doing this because he might react differently... but you decided to try it either way out of curiosity

⊱ so when you thought you were ready, you finally jumped yelling after him to catch you

⊱ he really didn't had second thought of jumping after you to save you

⊱ after he put you back on the floor, he started asking you multiple questions to make sure that you're alright

⊱ he remembers what happened to his sister way too well, so he doesn't want something like this happening to you as well

"YN, are you alright? Why did you jumped just now? What if I wasn't fast enough...?"

⊱ Diavolo had a lot of work recently and even he told you that he'd love to have some more fun with you after he finally has some time

⊱ today you were keeping him company in his castle and his office he was in right now just happened to be on the highest floor so you decided to try your little plan

⊱ you better pray he won't be too lost in his work and notice you or else... well... he may need to think of a way to revive you...

⊱ but if you do catch his attention by yelling after him to catch you, he literally he knocks over a chair while he runs after you

⊱ he's pretty fast so you can be sure he'll catch you, and after he goes back to office, he sits with you in his arms on his chair

⊱ he doesn't want to be mean to you but he does tell you what consequences could be

⊱ but he also tells you that if you ever would like to repeat it, he's up for it but you could tell him before doing so a bit earlier

"YN, please don't ever do it again without warning me earlier... I was really worried about you."

❉⊱•═•⊰❉⊱•═•⊰❉⊱•═•⊰❉⊱•═•⊰❉⊱•═•⊰❉⊱•═•⊰❉

[moog-rt]

ᴄʏʙᴇʀʙᴜʟʟʏ [ʀɪꜱᴇ!ᴅᴏɴɴɪᴇ x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ] ᴘᴛ. 4

Links to parts: one two three four five

Summary:

Fate brought you and that purple-clad turtle together in the form of endless battles of code.You were a purple dragon recruit, and he was your target. He plays your games as you tease him with the slim possibility of victory.

You may just let him win if you are feeling particularly merciful.

Notes:

enemies to lovers (I think?); slow burn; takes place after the movie; reader is a villain

Word Count: 2632

If you’d prefer to read it on Ao3, here’s the link:

ᴄʏʙᴇʀʙᴜʟʟʏ [ʀɪꜱᴇ!ᴅᴏɴɴɪᴇ x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ]

Otherwise, enjoy!

♡ ♡ ♡

To Donnie’s surprise, you had, in fact, been quite literal in your proposal to play a game. The last thing he expected was the title screen of Mario Kart glitching its way onto his monitor. The little man with the red get-up and iconic mustache was all too reminiscent of his childhood. At the very least, this would be more enjoyable than typing endless strings of code for hours on end.

The menu for character selection opened up, and it didn’t take him terribly long to decide who to play as. That green turtle-esk character practically called to him. His opponent was quick to choose their character, as well. Toad…how fitting. You were a fungus whose spores had somehow taken root in his life, and you were now taking over in the worst way imaginable. Spreading. Sucking the life out of his innocent soul through your digital escapades.

Now, on top of that, you wanted him to entertain your sick little mind by racing you in Mario Kart. If you thought you could just beat him over and over again just because you were good at hacking, you were so wrong. At least you apparently had something to offer him if he won.

Donnie leaned back in his chair with a slight tilt of his head. What did you have to offer him? You had yet to clarify.

(11:08) Sir Von Ryan: So

(11:08) Anon: so?

(11:09) Sir Von Ryan: What exactly do I get if I win?

(11:09) Anon: well~

(11:09) Anon: we’ve got a few options to choose from, my dear

(11:10) Anon: a. i can just back off for a while. you can either use that time to chill or attempt to attack our servers. whatever floats your boat

(11:10) Anon: b. i can show you how to get around one of the major algorithms i’ve been using

(11:11) Anon: c. i can give you your blueprints back :)

(11:11) Sir Von Ryan: C!

(11:11) Sir Von Ryan: YOU MUST GIVE ME BACK MY BLUEPRINTS

Donnie had replied before he had even thoroughly thought out his options. Looking back, maybe the first offer would have been best, all things considered. Some time to actually sleep and eat and maybe go out on missions with his brothers again may be beneficial for his health, both mental and physical.

(11:11) Anon: okie dokie! no takesies backsies :P

He couldn’t help but roll his eyes at the childish response.

(11:12) Sir Von Ryan: Yeah, Yeah.

(11:12) Sir Von Ryan: Let’s just get on with it.

You couldn’t help but pout a bit at his lack of enthusiasm. Who wouldn’t be excited to tap into their inner child through a light-hearted game of Mario Kart? Maybe he just didn’t want to show it. The stoic type of you will. That had to be it!

The two of you went on to choose and put together the vehicles you’d each be using. Finally, it was time to begin.

(11:15) Anon: are you ready?!! :D

(11:15) Sir Von Ryan: Sure.

(11:15) Anon: :(

(11:15) Anon: okay…

(11:16) Anon: 3!

(11:16) Anon: 2!

(11:16) Anon: 1!

(11:17) Anon: GO!!!

Neither of you had been left in the dust as all the cars peeled out of the starting point. You quickly gained first with Donnie just a couple of cars behind you. Barely any time had passed before the first set of item boxes made its appearance. Luck was on your side as you got a banana peel. You wasted no time in placing it down, which promptly took out the Bowser that was hot on your tail. Donnie took the opportunity to decrease the distance between the two of you.

You could see the tip of his car at the bottom of your screen as you did your best to cut corners and be as efficient as possible with your driving. However, in the blink of an eye, he seemed to have disappeared completely. Maybe he got hit with a shell. You shrugged to yourself and pressed on.

A few seconds passed before you noticed the pretty little “1st” at the top of your screen changed to “2nd”, leaving you baffled. Nobody had passed you. In fact, other than Donnie, no one was even close to you. You also figured that Donnie had gotten bumped far enough behind that you wouldn’t have to worry about him.

You weren’t left wondering for too long as his car dropped in front of you. How could he have gotten ahead? You were certain you already knew about most of the shortcuts on each map. You couldn’t wrap your head around it…

It took you a second too long to react to the banana peel that was promptly placed right in front of you. You hit it and started to spin out, creating an unwelcome gap between the two of you.

You adjusted your grip on your controller as your nostrils flared.

“Oh, it is on,” you seethed.

Meanwhile, Donnie was laughing maniacally as he pushed on.

“That’s right, you menace! EAT MY PEEL!” he screamed at his monitor. He leaned back in his chair to return to his wild laughter as his legs kicked in the air. However, his excitement got the better of him as his right foot knocked over a cold mug of coffee that had been marinating on his desk for who knows how long.

“Shit!” Donnie hissed, scrambling forward to try and catch the cup before it fell and broke. He rummaged frantically around for any napkin or towel that may be lying in hopes to get the spill somewhat cleaned up. He ended up opting for a dirty hoodie, which he simply wiped across the mess before leaving it. He had to get back to this game.

His sudden halt just after taking first left you surprised. To your knowledge, he hadn’t gone off-road or gotten hit by anyone’s attack. In fact, on the mini-map, it looked like he wasn’t moving at all. You were left utterly puzzled.

Something was obviously wrong on his end, which left you feeling weird about continuing. The whole point of offering him this deal was so he could catch a break. If he was having an issue that prevented him from playing then what was the point? You decided to press on, but you couldn’t help but steal glances at the mini-map every few seconds to check on his status. If you ended up winning, you could always suggest playing for best 2-out-of-3 so that he had another chance.

By the time Donnie was able to turn his attention back to the match, he was all the way in 8th place… His heart dropped.

This was okay. This was fine. Donnie was totally not going to lose his mind.

He took a deep breath in as he got back into the groove of the race. This was still only the first lap. He still had a chance to catch up. He exhaled. This was not over.

It was easy enough for him to pass a few of the bots, getting him to fourth place by the end of the first lap. For the second lap, he took every shortcut in the book and resorted to more hostile tactics when needed. He wouldn’t hesitate to pelt anyone with turtle shells so long as they were in his way. By the end of that lap, he was back in second.

For a while, you were still nowhere in sight. However, after taking another shortcut to save himself more time, your character finally appeared over the horizon.

An evil grin stretched across his face. The last item box he got gave him a Bullet Bill.

“I am going to demolish you,” he growled and activated his item.

The distance between the two of you was gone before you could even process the fact that he was catching up. Your reaction time left something to be desired as he plowed right through you, sending you spinning off of the map.

After gasping and sputtering a few curses under your breath, a competitive grin appeared on your face. You gained control of your vehicle and made your way back onto the track, gradually building up speed. You only had a banana, which was useless unless you could get back in front of him.

Your initial intent on letting him win was forgotten as your competitive drive took over. In a few seconds, you were hot on his tail, trying your hardest to bump into one of his wheels to send him spinning. However, every time you inched to the side to get around him, he would find a way to avoid you.

Your body was growing tenser with each failed attempt, and your heart rate was increasing. The mini-map showed the finish line just around the corner, so you kept close to the inside curve in hopes that it would give you the slightest advantage you would need to pass Donnie and win. He had a similar idea though, and as you began coming up on his side, he veered into you, sending you flying.

“Fuck!” you cried. You could do nothing but wait for your character to stop spinning as you watched your opponent cross the finish line. You followed after him at a much slower pace. The game was over.

It took the turtle a moment to fully process what had just happened. He could only blink as he watched the winning screen play in front of him. His eyes widened, and the tips of his fingers covered his mouth as he began to smile.

Donnie’s desk chair was thrown back violently from the speed at which he stood up, hands raised high in the air. He couldn’t help but shriek out triumphant laughs as he began dancing around his room, shaking his booty every which way. Occasionally, he would trip over the forgotten trash and clothing that had built up on his floors, but he was quick to recover. The sweet smell of victory was too potent for him to be distracted by such frivolous things.

The guy was practically bouncing off the walls.

His sudden explosion of energy left him wheezing as he crawled his way back to his desk. With a maniacal grin on his face, he began typing to his opponent.

(11:31) Sir Von Ryan: HAHAHAH!!!

(11:31) Sir Von Ryan: TASTE THAT DEFEAT!!!

(11:31) Sir Von Ryan: TASTE IT!!

(11:31) Sir Von Ryan: I WAS PRACTICALLY IN LAST YET I STILL TRIUMPHED

(11:31) Sir Von Ryan: WHAT SAY YOU TO THAT, YOU VILLAIN

(11:32) Anon: shush it >:P

(11:32) Sir Von Ryan: Oh, yes. I am SURE you would love to brush your sorry excuse of a defeat under the rug. Now, wouldn’t you?

(11:32) Sir Von Ryan: Unfortunately for you, I shall not allow that!

(11:32) Anon: >:((((

(11:33) Anon: do you want your blueprints or not

(11:33) Sir Von Ryan: YES I DO

(11:33) Sir Von Ryan: RETURN THEM TO ME

He only had to wait a moment before a file popped up on his screen. Against his better judgment, he opened it right away. He was too eager to consider the possibility of it being a virus or some other type of malicious software. Lucky for him, you were true to your word. Within the file, he found every single blueprint that had been so savagely stolen from him.

He couldn’t help but tear up…

“My sweet, sweet babies!” he cried out. The monitor was quickly pulled into his embrace as he planted endless kisses on its screen.

♡ ♡ ♡

When the game ended, you sat frozen for a while. The loss made your heart feel a bit heavy. Usually, when you lost at games like these against your siblings, it was because you were letting them win. While you were intending on doing the same for Von Ryan, you were quickly forced to realize that you weren’t in that position of power when playing against him. He was far more skilled at games than you initially pegged him for. It was naive of you to assume that, just because you continuously bested him at code, you would be better in the area of gaming, as well.

Your attention was grabbed by several messages pinging from his end. It was evident that he was happy with himself as he rubbed your loss in your face. With a huff, you changed the subject back to his blueprints and sent them his way.

You released a long breath and slumped back in your seat, gaze still trained on your screen. What a pleasant surprise, you thought as a smile etched its way onto your cheeks. Not one of maliciousness or mischief, but of content. The way your heart raced during that game… It had been so long since you felt such an adrenaline rush. It made you eager to make another deal.

With a sigh, you finally turned off your PC and monitors and stood up. Due to your excessive LED décor, your shadow was constantly pivoting around you as you padded your way across the room. You glanced over to the wall of ceiling-to-floor windows, but all you could see were the reflections of the various neon signs and ambiance lighting you had hung all around your room.

With a huff, you threw yourself onto your bed and crawled into the center of it. You remained sitting up in a crisscrossed position as you opened your phone. With the click of a few buttons, your room went dark, and a new set of lights revealed themselves in front of you.

Your wall of windows framed the city of New York perfectly. You’ve tried more times than you can remember to count all the skyscrapers, but you would always end up losing track. Every night, the patterns of glowing windows differed. If Von Ryan really was the same Donnie as April’s friend, there was a chance that he was one of the thousand or so lights that helped to illuminate the city.

Your head fell to the side as you stared out at the man-made landscape. You hoped he was happy to have his designs back. You know that you would be if you were in his shoes. Despite going against the purple dragons in a way, you didn’t think that they would be too bothered. After all, so long as they had their copies of the blueprints, they would be able to proceed with their plans as they would if you hadn’t sent Donnie’s copies back to him. They would be none the wiser.

You leaned forward to get a better view of the streets. Your eyebrows knitted together as you took note of how few cars and people were out. You lived in a fairly busy area of Manhattan. Usually, those streets were far more crowded.

You checked the time on your phone and cringed. April had arranged plans with you early in the morning, and you should have been asleep already. Had everything really gone by that quickly?

You straightened out your legs and allowed your body to fall backward onto your mattress with a slight bounce. You tugged your covers completely over your head as you rolled onto your side and shut your eyes. However, after only a moment, you pulled the blanket back down just enough for you to peek over at your desk. Your eyes immediately landed on your monitor, and a soft smile adorned your lips.

You were right after all.

He was going to be quite the challenge for you.

♡ ♡ ♡

[cuntwrap--supreme]

Something a little fucked about going to dinner with people who have told your mom that you're "not ok" and shit since you were 8 and them entirely ignoring you, instead leaning over to whisper to your brother that they needed to talk later (about me) when I'm quite literally directly across from him. He texted me saying his aunt wanted to discuss me later.

So they're all talking further down the table and at some point I interject and say, "Yeah, ha ha, I heard you had some questions about me. Where better to get that information than the horse's mouth?" And this woman - who pretends to be Cherokee to, like, get sympathy and Liz Warren'd her way into school saying she was Cherokee when she knew she wasn't, got whole scholarships meant for minorities because of it - looks to my mother and goes, "Girl, I think you need to control your thing down there." So I stood up and said I'd rather walk 14 miles home in the rain than be in the presence of such vacant, soulless ghouls for a moment longer, told this woman she can pay for my meal with her husband's money, and walked. My dad, one of my sisters, and her boyfriend came after me and said that was fucked and they weren't gonna sit there after that. My dad said he was going to walk with me if no one handed over their keys because it was either that or he was going to jail for murdering this woman. Said he looked at my mom and asked what her response to that was, and all she said was that I'm clearly mentally unwell. As if 1) that's not directly her fault and 2) that's grounds to let someone call me a thing and talk shit about me for decades.

Pretty sure your parents are supposed to have your back? So he said after that was her response he told her good luck with her bills, he's done supporting her 20 years after they got divorced. I've been telling him this is how she treats me since I was a child, but he's never seen it in action until tonight. Like, I'd be 10 or so and doing 10 year old shit and she'd make sure I knew it was a sign of being depraved to pretend you're a wizard for fun or some shit and that I was probably going to end up a whore for work because I have no value; meanwhile, she's smoking crack with her boyfriend all the fucking time, exposing me to that and domestic violence, forcing me to be an adult and protect my siblings from her and her boyfriend's drug use from 8 years old onward, and allowing her boyfriend to psychologically torture me because well I'm weird so i deserve it, etc! Wow! It's almost as if isolating people in their formative years and instead forcing them to deal with constant stresses such as "will my mom die the next time she's thrown bodily across the room?" and "what happens if DCS doesn't believe my mom's lies next time? Will I be placed in a home full of other troubled kids, but some of them will rape me?" and "I've been told no adults will believe me when I mentioned my home life and surprise! they don't!" isn't good for someone.

I'm irreparable. Yeah. Sure. You got me there. But I'll be fucking damned if I'm going to sit idly by as these people talk shit about me when I'm 5ft away. Last time they saw me they talked to my mother about how I need to be institutionalized for - get this - not being feminine. Apparently that's a mental disorder now! Sorry, afab people! You have to be traditionally feminine or you're mentally fucked! I don't make the rules! Some people who got rich by marrying scam artists do! Or they told my youngest sister to stop talking to me because I'll only drag her down with me. Whatever that means. As if I didn't fucking raise that child more than either of her parents ever did. As if I didn't protect her from her father when he'd get high and want something to strangle while tweaking out and chose infant her. I should have punched this vapid excuse for a human square in the nose.

I'm so sick of how these people have treated me forever and how no one has ever had the balls to stand up to them because they all have money and they want to mooch off of that. They've hated me from Day One because I don't suck up to them. As far back as I can remember, they've told me I should dye my hair blonde, do makeup, wear high heels and slutty clothes so I can find a "good man" who will take care of me, then call me a weird dyke when I say none of that sounds like a way to find a man I'd get along with.

[fullsunstrawberry]

okay so part two!

so kao (boyfriend nickname) came back a few days ago… it was a whole mess but it was perfect after

so one - traffic was a bitch that day

two- kao loves to not respond to my texts sometimes

three- i got a call from my mom asking to pick her up (she lives in new jersey… i live in nyc… so you see the predicament i have)

anyway- so i’m in traffic hanging up my call from my mom and already in a bad mood, so when kao never responds to me when i ask where he is… yeah you can imagine how pissed i got (i’m super over dramatic!!)

so i pull up to the main entrance for kala terminal or whatever and i park the car and pay and shit and i literally can’t find him ANYWHERE

i’m calling, texting, and tracking on life360 but it’s not working (his phone is like lowkey broken so his location was still in japan) so i’m close to tears because when i’m pissed/stressed/happy/or any emotion i start crying (i’m working on it… it’s just my hormones) and i look up and THERE THAT LITTLE STINKER IS

so i run up to him and he almost falls and we hug for like 15 mins (okay prob not but you undertand) and then we leave and spend the night togyher and whatever

i wake up the next day and realize i never picked up my mother 😭 she was super pissed but i told her kao is back and she was like “ohhhh” and forgot about it

ANYWAY HAG oldest brother dmed kao and apologized but still hasn’t apologized to me so kao won’t accept it sooo the drama continues

sometimes i hate big families but then i love them bc my fam >>>

also math has always came to me but econ is so hard recently i don’t know why i feel like dropping out tho because i seriously cant do this tbhh

also business majors are awesome so don’t be hard on yourself!! you’ll figure out something that’ll work eventually:) life always works in the end

also good luck on the exams i know you’ll do so awesomeeee :)

(now that my uni is over except a lot more of these) (but if you ever want me to stop pls tell me i will enger be offended or anything)

bye love!!! 🩷🩷

you gotta put a tracker on him…like one of those spy ones

also DID YOUR MOM EVER GET THERE???

DAMN TEN YEARS!! me and my brothers age gap is 3 years

algebra 1 was my favorite but it went all down hill after

if you had to switch econ with something else… what would you? econ and math just sounds really smart ((also just took an econ test and i think i failed 💀))

at first i wanted to be an accountant but i’m thinking about marketing idkkk i took a bunch of social media classes so i might go into social media marketing

can’t wait for more of these!! if i ever tell you to stop KILL ME cause it’s an alien taking my place 😤🫡

sorry if this is weirdly formatted because i wrote this throughout the day 🙏❤️

love yah <3

[lolly-dolli]

I'm sending you this to make you talk about Beezy on your tumblr. Inflict him upon the internet for me, I love him, give me the clownboy

Oh no

Alright motherfucker, prepare to unleash the most normal of Azzy's adult siblings (well. Minus Levi but she still has terrible anxiety and DOES want to kill a man but it's only the one guy and everyone hates him)

Content warning for uuuh....I guess murder and cannibalism are the worst Beezy has in his backstory? He's not really all that fucked up over the antichrist bit mostly just relieved he has The Shakies from what species he is and on account of he has a brain disorder

Beatrice/Beelzebub (because his pa just renames all his kids, he reckons), is a Funny Little Guy who is pretty nice once you get past his unsettlingly sharp teeth (you're pretty sure he has more than one row somehow...?), tall, wiry frame and the whole...cannibalism part.

This is probably owed to the fact that, in his own words, "his ma raised him right."

Beezy was born the Prince of Gluttony in a cozy little encampment in the Great Smoky Mountains of North Carolina with a full he'd of baker-miller pink hair and a full set of teeth. His Ma is the matriarch of a family of pig farmers who, in the warmer months, enjoy hunting the...longer variety of pig, if you catch my drift; and his father, as far as he knows, was some stiff in a three-piece suit who was the one that got away. Literally!

She was apparently so impressed at this man's ability to navigate the woods at night despite his highly impractical attire and straight-up refusal to die that taunting turned to banter turned to flirting, and to her surprise, he accepted. The rest was history, including...whatever that kind of relationship was called was by morning. She said it wouldn't've worked out long-term, though, so no skin off her back.

Nine months later, Beezy came into the world, and his Ma was apparently so tired of waiting for a girl to name after her great-great-grandma that she just decided "y'know what? Everything about this kid is weird already and we ain't the sorta people t' judge. His name's Beatrice."

This would set the tone for the rest of Beezy's life.

Beezy's species technically doesn't have a name - what they're called tends to align with whatever local folklore they line up best with, because for the most part, they read as feral to other demons and any human unfortunate enough to walk into the territory of a hungry one.

Azzy would call him a Fae, but Beezy would probably prefer the term Rougarou, on account a' fairies only sometimes eat people, and that's what his family called them growing up.

He's actually the most socialized one of him known to demon society, and probably the most well-fed despite the number of ribs one can see through his skin.

His species has a notoriously high metabolism, meaning they tend to be opportunistic predators and take whatever they can get, and they simply have very little time to socialize--so little that most of their language is nonverbal, as they tend to be solitary and nomadic in lifestyle. Most are actually, contrary to popular belief, omnivorous, but gathering is a lot less quick than hunting.

Because Beezy has access to a regular supply of food, his status as a carnivore is more a choice than anything else. Azzy is working on changing that, though their other brother Andy have had more luck since fruit is at least sweet, and it's very hard to convince a nineteen year old that scurvy is something he can actually get outright rather than hiding vegetables in a smoothie.

He's a big fan of sweets.

His family ingrained in him the belief that it's important not to waste food (being as they live pretty off the grid), and he likes making "people sweets" with rendered fat and ligaments (don't accept candy from him unless you want to find out what gelatin made from a person tastes like).

He didn't meet his siblings until very recently, and was just kind of dropped into the Hellbound Antichrist Pile by his father in hopes of kickstarting the battle royale that is deciding an heir after being told he was going to come stay with him for a bit and meet his family.

Unluckily for Satan, the average Beezy-Azzy argument looks more like this than it does any sort of actual bloodbath.

Azzy is constantly playing 5D chess with anyone he doesn't fully trust (and sometimes even them too), and Beezy is actually pretty emotionally intelligent for a hick in clown makeup, so he thinks it's funniest to respond by Bugs Bunnying him about it.

Despite this, they genuinely do care about each other a lot, Azzy will just...never admit it outright. Instead he'll tell Beezy to stop nibbling the skin on his fingertips raw and make him wear a pair of gloves he made him which he made sure will match his outfit, so put on the gloves before you give yourself an infection, Beezy.

Beezy is like a human demon knifecat in teasingly saying that Azzy does love him.

He'll then proceed to very earnestly play devil's advocate against factory farming as a practice to piss Azzy off, and the cycle repeats. Such is life

[vanosslirious]

BBS Dialogue Prompts #362

BBS Dialogue Prompts & Sentence Starters: [ 11 ]

VANOSSGAMING

How did I survive that?

I want to do that.

I can get inside of you.

Knock him off!

Surely he wouldn't do the same one three times, would he?

That's why I said it, I'm a fucking genius.

How did you not die?

Just right before you joined the call.

Yeah, yeah, whatever.

Someone do the honor, I am not picking this.

I got one life, I'm scared, I don't want to go.

Don't waste it on me either.

None of that shit counted.

I'm getting ready for the next round.

I'm invincible, you can't kill me!

Guy's, I'm still stuck, help me.

You'll never find me!

How did you manage to do that?

That wasn't a hint.

I'm not doing anything, I'm just holding it.

SMII7Y

Let's look at the stars together...stand to my left.

Why do you sound like I'm talking to you through a prison phone?

I’m not thanking you.

I’m glad I fucking did!

I’m not thanking anyone.

Good luck killing me though, I'm on your fucking team, idiot!

I don't know what to feel about what you said.

I’m having major deja vu right now, this is nuts.

You better stop that.

Not the time for stunts.

H2ODELIRIOUS

He’s looking for drugs.

Get his money, take his money!

I think you’re good.

You turned into a chicken.

Everything turned into a TNT!

I didn’t do that.

I’m going to try some battery acid!

Why is there a cat down here?

You know what, fuck it, I’m taking more.

We’re in a deep dark hole of death!

JERICHO

Do you feel lucky?

You walked past me.

I just heard glass break.

You dropped me off over here, it's scary.

Why do vampire's need guns?

If you consume a human to get their ability in front of another human, you get tagged.

Why do they care if their friend is getting eaten in front of them?

That's it, you're fucking done.

That's alright, sometimes I like it when you just say shit.

No, you immediantly get notified.

NOGLA

He got you how you got me.

Do a breakdown on my brain, please.

Wait, do we stay in here?

Can we leave, we can leave!

How did this get five stars?

To be honest, I just like him.

I'll be right back, my food's here, I got a cookie delivered.

That's what we pay a hundred grand for, baby.

Be chill was his final words.

There's just going for me, why?

BLARG

You look like someone wishes their pet egg to be real.

Oh, so do we.

I hit grandma with a knife and it's still in her.

Grandma, why do you have so many beer bottles in your room?

We have so many weapons to murder our grandma with right now, it's insane.

Does anyone else have any keys?

Yeah, I will, working on it.

Stop kicking me out the window!

That's not what he said, grandma.

I don't even know who I am anymore.

SILENTDROIDD

I got left, I got left, go.

I didn't know it was gonna explode.

The van is freaking slow.

We're gotta go, he's gonna escape.

What the fuck just happened?

Uh, guys, remember that robot we saw over there?

Uh, even worse, he has a twin brother.

They're like secret paths.

Guys, I don't know how to hack.

Let's go, boys, let's escape in style.

GRIZZY

Alright, everybody pray to god.

I should've clicked your name because rightfully that was mine!

I'm just gonna stick with mine.

We can't afford shit.

Yeah, he's gonna rob your shit.

That'll never happen and we know it.

Oh, I forgot I'm cursed, it doesn't even fucking matter.

Hear me out, both.

This is the exact same thing.

Literally, nothing's new.

MOO

That is useful.

I just railed you.

He blew it too early.

I had it just sitting in my inventory.

Guys, I had one heart left.

I'll help you!

You're not missing much.

That was a massacre, followed by a dispersion.

I had to go take care of my kids, sorry!

Screw doing it together, right?

BIGPUFFER

They have the best goalie in the fucking world.

Give me the fucking ball.

That was all me.

I figured it out.

I think those are bots.

So annoying, I knew you would do it too.

That's a shit ton of loot.

The tree's on fire!

Can I land in the water?

Stop using me as a weapon.

TERRORISER

I just want to get one.

I'm doing gang signs.

What was that noise?

Oh my god, I'm horny.

For once, I'm actually happy to be first.

I'm trying to be optimistic.

I think I got the gold.

I got my tail back.

Keep 'em away from me.

Oh, you're making one, huh?

[angelcatsiel]

Had a dream last night that I was sitting in the backseat of a car, my dad in the driver's seat, my brother (at least, a guy who I instinctively knew was my brother, but it wasn't my actual brother) sitting next to me. We were parked in a car park, we wanted to go shopping, but a few members of staff were outside, telling us that there was a bomb scare and we couldn't go in yet.

We waited a bit, but when the staff members left, my dad figured it would probably be fine. He said 'we only need a few bits anyway' and so we went in, we entered through a back entrance and a stairwell that turned out to be the fire escape. We got inside, it was a shopping centre and it was eerily empty. My dad was going through his written list as always, but the atmosphere felt off, and I desperately wanted to leave. (read more bc this one's kinda long)

An old woman suddenly appeared, looking angry and weirdly kind of scared to see us. She asked what we were doing inside and told us we had to leave now, she was very aggressive but I still thought she seemed more scared than angry. We left, but halfway down the fire escape stairs we realised my brother had vanished.

We called up for him, and were about to go back up to look when he appeared, rushing down the stairs, and was like 'we need to go NOW' but wouldn't say why. We were all a bit scared now, we literally ran down the stairs and through the car park, not able to relax until we got in the car and drove off.

We arrived home, my dad got out of the car and my mum was there. Again, it wasn't my actual mum, it was a different woman, but I knew it was my mum. My brother was peering out of the car window at her, I caught a glimpse of her talking to my dad but then my brother moved his arm in a way that obscured my view of her face.

Suddenly my dad went silent, and I heard my mum ask 'what's wrong?' in this sweet voice. My dad told me and my brother to get out of the car and go back to the house, and my brother was suddenly shaking next to me. I tried to lean over and see my mum, but my brother kept moving his arm to block me, saying 'don't look, you don't want to look.'

Finally I managed to find an angle where I could see, and I did instantly wish that I hadn't. My mum was still standing there, but her face had changed. Her eyes were just pure white, her face was slightly elongated and grey and almost looked like it was decaying, and she had this far too wide, permanent grin. She was looking at my dad, but as I caught sight of her, she turned to smile down at me.

Me and my brother got out of the car and ran inside, a few minutes later my mum knocked at the door, asking us to let her in. We heard the front door open, so we snuck out the back. A bus was just driving past the house, so we frantically yelled and gestured for the bus to stop for us, and asked the driver to just drop us at whatever stop was furthest from the house.

The rest of the dream becomes a bit jumbled, but I remember seeing the old woman from the shopping centre again, who explained that this entity or whatever was after us specifically, and they could have taken care of it somehow if we hadn't gone in and ruined everything and allowed it to find us. Now somehow we were all going to turn into those creatures and the world was going to end?

At the end of the dream, me and my (not) brother tried to escape the creature by killing ourselves. We jumped off a building, but it didn't work. I remember lying on the ground in horrible pain, unable to breathe properly, I think my ribs were broken, and I could hear our not-mum walking towards us, saying 'good effort! But you should have jumped from a little higher. Bad luck' and then she picked my brother up by his throat and lifted him off the ground. I looked up, and already I could see his face was changing, like it was starting to decay, and his eyes were clouding over white.

And then I woke up.

[moemoemammon]

So bear with me. MC sleeps like a rock. A bomb could go off next to them, and they don't wake up. Now, add shallow breathing, and they look like a corpse. You could mistake them for a corpse if you don't check their pulse.

How would the brothers (+ datables if you're not too picky hehe) react to the first time waking them up for school only to think they probably died in their sleep on day one??

Sleeping Like a Corpse!

(Feat. GN!MC and the Demon Bros)

✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦

Lucifer

Lucifer didn’t think much of you when you arrived, now could he be bothered to personally make sure you peeled yourself out of bed in the morning. So naturally, he sent Mammon to go do it.

But when Mammon came back complaining about how you didn’t budge an inch, big bro realized he’d have to take care of it himself, like usual.

He figured slamming your door open would’ve done the trick, but you remain still. And as much as he wants to drag you out of bed by the ankle, he knows how fragile humans can be. He opts for giving you a vigorous shake, and.... you don’t budge.

He calls your name, nothing. He literally pulls you upright by the shoulders and jostles you around like a protein shaker bottle, but you don’t move, and- wait... are you breathing? MAMMOOOOOO-

“Haaah... It’s your first morning with us, and you’re already causing me trouble. If it weren’t for the warmth of your skin, I’d have thought you were dead. Perhaps I should give you an enchanted alarm clock, if you prove to be this difficult to wake every morning.”

Mammon

Tch, he seriously didn’t get why THE Great Mammon had to do this sorta grunt work! Why should he have to make sure a lousy human gets up for school? It’s not like he’s their babysitter! but we all know he’s a p*ssy so he’s not gonna say that out loud

But that means he’s gonna make sure you know how irritated he is! Mammon bursts into your room, calling you a ‘stinkin’ human’ at the top of his lungs, and... you don’t move a muscle. So his next step is to stomp over and rip your blankets off, and..... you still don’t move.

What the hell? It’s like trying to wake up Belphie! He leans in to try to smack you awake, when he finally notices how it...kinda...looks like you aren’t breathing.

Wait. Wait wait wait-! SURE he didn’t feel like having to watch you, but that didn’t mean he wanted you to die on the first night! Lucifer was gonna KILL him-! Did you die of fright or something?! He didn’t really mean all that stuff he said about eating you, you know?! Hey, snap out of it-!

“What the- You’re ALIVE?! I thought you died in your sleep, dammit! TCH! What’s the big idea, playin’ dead like that?! Ya tryin’ to get me in trouble?!” “-N-no I wasn’t worried about ya!”

Leviathan

Why does HE have to wake you up..? Sure, he has to go to school today anyway for the student council meeting, but what does that have to do with a human..? Couldn’t Lucifer have asked ANYONE else..?

Beyond annoyed when he enters your room. What’s he supposed to do?? Shake you?? Hit you with something???? Levi opts for awkwardly poking your side, and noticing how you don’t react. Great. Ugh... this sucked....

He tries again, then pokes the back of your head, tugs your sleeve, shakes your arm... then you roll over from the movement and he nearly has a heart attack. Not only because you surprised him, but because you.. wait, did you die?!

Stuck between “LMAOOOO ROFLMAO the human died on their first night! What a noob! #fail!” and “KDAKLFHLDSJFKL OH NO HELLO?????”

“WH- Ahhh... I thought you were dead. You know how long Lucifer would've lectured if if you died, right? He'd be so mad, i bet he'd even confiscate my D.D.D.! Normies like you are nothing but trouble. This is why a human shouldn't even be here..."

Satan

What a chore... This felt like more of a punishment than anything, and Satan hadn’t even done anything yet. Unless Lucifer already discovered the ink he dripped into his shampoo? Either way, he wasn’t the slightest bit interested in you.

But seeing as he got to hang around you in your most vulnerable state, wouldn’t it be funny if he put a curse on you? He was sure that whatever he chose would become a headache for Lucifer in some way, so the possibilities were endless.

Temporary blindness, backwards speech, rainbow colored skin, extreme bad luck, he didn’t know what to choose! Ah, and there were a few curses he wanted to use on Lucifer that needed to be tested out, so why not experiment on you?

He had plenty of time to pick the perfect one and- ah. Were you.. dead? Did someone beat him to the punch?

“Ah, so you’re alive after all. And here I thought I could harass Lucifer with knowing his human had died in their sleep. Well, it’ll have to wait, I guess...I was really looking forward to the expression on his face...”

Asmo

What? Lucifer was ACTUALLY letting him go in the cute little human’s room, completely unsupervised? What a bold move, dearest big brother~! There’s no way he’d pass up the chance to take a peek at your sleeping face! You were pretty cute, but he’d like to see if you were worth his attention.

That being said, Asmo creeps into your room like a sneaky toddler, and doesn’t hesitate to grab your shoulder and roll you over to get a good look at your sleeping face. Hmm... Not bad! 

So with that, he hops right into your bed unannounced, bouncing you around and giving you that innocent giggle of his. Aren’t you lucky? You get to be woken up by the endlessly charming Asmo-chan~! The first thing you’ll see is his gorgeous face, and you’ll be blessed with the perfect first school day! 

Why, there are hundreds and thousands of demons who wish they were as lucky as you were right now! He’s seen how they’ll fight tooth and nail for a chance to-..... hey, how come you’re not breathing..? Er, he’s not really into that sort of thing...

“Oh thank goodness! I thought you up and died before I had a chance to get to know you! You know how disappointed I’d be, right? Knowing I wasn’t able to explore the cute human living in our house... it’d be a tragedy!”

Beel

Surprisingly, he doesn’t mind that much. Having to go and wake you up reminds him of when Belphie was still around, so it’s familiar and feels kind of nice. What DOESN’T feel nice is that he’s missing valuable time he could be spending inhaling his breakfast, because you won’t wake up.

Hangry Beel enters your room with a bagel in his mouth, so you couldn’t understand what he was saying even if you were awake. Just know he’s calling your name and threatening to eat your breakfast. It’s your loss if you miss out.

Hm... You don’t wake up even after he shakes you, so he’s tempted to just leave. But he knows Lucifer will scold you if he returns downstairs without you, so he’s got to improvise.

It’s fine if he just carries you downstairs, right? He’s just tryin to eat man why can’t you- ...Beel is noticing a distinct lack of breath coming from you when he picks you up. Uhhh

“Oh, you aren’t dead. I was going to ask Lucifer if we could have you for breakfast too, but I guess that’s not an option anymore. He says hurry up and get dressed, and that you should give me your breakfast. Bye.”

Belphie

He’s in the attic, so same lmao.

Twins! Still gonna strangle and throw you down the stairs in the future tho

Couple goals amirite?

[immasock]

Hello! If you could a

platonic relationship with the demon brothers (mc's like 12-15) where mc when they are anger they speak in Arabic (you can change the language btw) and the brothers dont really understand them

I am always a sucker for bilingual MC-

However I don’t know Arabic but I do know German so we’ll go with that

Also I tried a different style so I hope it’s not too bad

I will do the younger brothers later

Angry Bilingual Teen!MC + Platonic! Older Brothers

The brothers knew that the human was bilingual. Lucifer had read it on their form when he was picking them out for the program. But the paper also said that they spoke English as well, so they figured it wouldn’t really be an issue. And it wasn’t, for the most part. The human spoke a little bit of German here and there but they usually stuck with English. They only really pulled it out when they were genuinely angry with someone

Lucifer:

Lucifer was in his study, going over MCs grades and class work, when he came across their most recent Magical Potions test grade. And boy was it unacceptable. He thought MC had been studying. They had told him they were studying. But clearly they were not. So he saw no other option than to call them down to his office

“Do you know why I have called you down here MC?”

“No?”

“It’s about your recent score in Magical Potions. A 46% MC. I thought you studied”

“I did! For a while. But then it got late and I got tired and it was really boring! What else was I supposed to do?”

Lucifer sighed “I’m sorry but you leave me no choice. I am taking away your phone and you are to spend all of your free time outside of classes studying until you bring your grade up”

They couldn’t believe what they were hearing. How could he do this?

“Du bist ein schrecklicher alter Mann! Ich hasse dich!”

Lucifer couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Literally. He had no idea what he was hearing. But from what he just said and their tone, he could only assume it wasn’t good

“Just go to your room MC. We can discuss this later”

Mammon:

Mammon was being his usual self and pulling MC along to whatever activity he was doing that day. Today it happened to be a casino. He thought that they could be his little good luck charm however MC was not into it. They really wanted to go home but mammon insisted that they had to stick around for just one more round of poker

“Cmon MC! Just one more, I promise! I’m about to hit the jackpot on this one!! I can feel it!”

“Du trottel. Du bist stur wie ein Esel. Und du siehst auch so aus”

“…….”

He didn’t know what they were saying but he had been spoken to in that tone more than enough times to know that whatever they said, wasn’t good

“Can we please go home?”

“….Yeah. Sure. Let’s go”

Leviathan:

It was yet another day of school which meant yet another day that Levi stayed holed up in his room. Except that today he was needed at RAD. There was a student body meeting that Levi, being a part of the student council, was apart of. Levi knew this and he was determined to stay in his room today so that he didn’t have to go in front of the entire student body. But Lucifer had other plans. Said other plans being to make MC get him out of the house and to RAD. Of course.

“Hey fish boy. Get up. We gotta get ready for school”

“I think I’ll just stay here today. I can do all my classes online”

“Yeah not happening. You know you guys have that thing today. So get your ass up and get dressed”

“But i don’t want to! I can’t go up in front of all those people!! A shut in otaku just isn’t build for it”

MC let out a long sigh

“Hör zu, Fischjunge, du wirst aus der Badewanne aufstehen und dich anziehen. Und dann marschierst du dorthin und aus dieser Tür, bis du zu dieser Schule kommst. Versteht ihr mich?”

Now Levi wasn’t quite sure what MC had just said to him but he sure as hell didn’t want to find out. They sounded pissed and he didn’t want to face them like that. So he got up and started to grab his clothes. MC nodded and left to let him get dressed

[theshelbyclan]

Welcome to the chaos, little one

Summary: Giving birth is never easy, especially when it’s a Shelby x Solomons baby…

A/N I’m so slow with requests but a while back the lovely @fandom-puff​requested: Omg sorry to be a pain but I’m a sucker for Shelby chaos 😭😭😭 can I request something linked to A Very Shelby Christmas where the labour of baby Solomons is just as chaotic? But it could also be sweet like the bros finally accepting Alfie bc they all care about YN so much and can’t stand to hear her in pain, all while YN is screaming that she’ll cut off more of Alfie’s dick than his rabbi would even dare to if he ever tried to bed her again 😭😭😭 omg the chaos 👉👈 ily 💓💓 Here we go! This is part 2 to the story A Very Shelby Christmas

Words: 1638

***

“Not now, Y/N,” Arthur groaned. Ada rolled her eyes, remembering keenly when her brother had spoken those iconic words before. “It’s not like I can help it, Arthur,” you spit. 

Polly grabbed you by your arm as you doubled over again, “Alright, sweetheart, it’s time. Come with me…” “Not yet, Aunt Pol,” you panted, “It’s too early.” “The baby doesn’t have it’s own pocket watch yet,” Ada commented matter-of-factly, as she took your other arm. “Fuck!” you called out again as another contraction set in, “Fuck, fuck, fuckity-fuck!” “Nice.” “Oh, piss off John, you want to try this?” “Not really…” “Tommy!” you turned to the one family member who hadn’t said a word yet, “Get him.” “And who would that be, eh?” he replied in a low voice. “Thomas…” Aunt Polly warned softly. He raised his eyebrows, “Finn? You want Finn at the birth?” “WHY WOULD I WANT MY FUCKING BABY BROTHER HERE?!” Tommy waved a vague hand, “General comfort?” Now Aunt Polly’s eyes flashed with anger, “Thomas! Go get her husband, right now!” Tommy sighed deeply, still trying to ignore the fact that his little sister was now Mrs. Solomons, and said, “Come on boys, let’s get them all together and wet this baby’s head! Leave the women to it.” And you groaned, “Thank you…” Once Alfie would be here, everything would be easier.

*** “Solomons!” “No need to shout, mate, I’m right here, ain’t I?”

Slowly Tommy lit a cigarette and started smoking it, “It concerns my sister.” “You mean the glorious creature that made me the luckiest man on earth by marrying me? My wife? Mrs. Alfie Solomons?” A small twinkle appeared in Alfie’s eyes as he saw Tommy’s jaw tense up just a little at his words. “Yes.” “How is the old lady doing?” Alfie asked conversationally. “In pain,” Tommy replied, “She’s in labour, more to the point.” “You fucking what?” “She’s with her aunt Alfie, she’ll be fine.” Alfie blinked a few times, “Tommy I swear to God if you’re playing some fucking game with me I will shoot you between the eyes right here and now. You’re telling me my wife is in labour and you’re standing there casually smoking a cigarette, waiting for some fucking woman to tell you it’s done?” “Yes,” he nodded, “Well, I was about to go the Garrison. Thought we might bury the hatchet and you could join us.” “Have you lost your fucking mind…” Alfie said slowly, while rubbing his chin. Tommy cleared is throat and with a slight hint of uncertainty in his voice said, “It’s tradition.” “Well, if you’ll pardon my French, fuck your fucking heathen traditions, I’m going to my fucking wife and you are fucking coming with me. And bring your fucking family while you’re at it!”

*** “Why are we here?” John leaned in to Arthur slightly while asking the question in a hushed voice. “Alfie insisted.” “Why?” Arthur raised his voice, “Ask Tommy, alright? I don’t bloody know! I’m guessing it’s another Jewish thing…” On the other side of the door, you were most definitely in labour now. The pain was worse than anything you’d experienced before and you were seriously questioning your sanity at this point. “Aunt Pol?” Ada asked carefully after about an hour. Polly moved over from your side down to your legs and said, “What is it?” “Something’s wrong.” “THOMAS!” Polly bellowed as soon as she had taken a look, “Get me some more towels.”

“What’s happening?” A panicked Alfie asked from the hallway. But Polly pushed him aside and started ordering Finn to boil more water. “Woman!” he demanded, “You fucking tell me.” “She’s bleeding,” she answered quickly, “and I can’t see why.” “What can we do, Pol,” Arthur asked, wild-eyed. “Get a doctor. One we can trust.” Arthur dragged John with him, even before Polly had finished her sentence. “What about Sabini’s men?” John asked, “We were supposed to deal with them tonight. What if they come here?” “Shoot them,” Tommy said simply, as he lit another cigarette in a nervous manner. Inside the room, you were now screaming your head off. Of course you had realised giving birth would be painful, but not like this. The sight of Ada going slightly pale didn’t help either and panic had started mixing in with the general anxiety of the process, so your screams got louder and louder. “Pol…” Ada called out again, “What do I do?” In that moment, Alfie pushed passed her and fell down by your side, “I’m here,” he said softly. “I can see that,” you panted between shouts, “but why? You’re not supposed to be here.” “Out,” Aunt Polly said strictly, “This is no place for men.” And then Tommy walked in as well, averting his eyes and grabbing your hand at the same time. “What?” he said when Polly send him a death-glare, “If Alfie gets to stay, so can I!” “Fucking children…” “Alright, sweetheart,” Polly focused on you again, “This baby needs to come now.” Your eyes grew wide, “What’s wrong?” “Nothing,” Alfie replied for her, “You’ll be fine. You’re doing brilliant, babes.” “How the fuck would you know!” you shouted out. He shrugged, “Educated guess?” “Had a lot of experience with this, eh?” Tommy grumbled sarcastically. “This,” Ada pointed at the both of them, “This is why men shouldn’t be in here.” “I’m not fucking going anywhere, especially if my wife is in danger.” Tommy just shook his head in reply. “Danger?” you asked suddenly, “What does he mean in danger?” “No danger, love,” Ada soothed you, “if you just push.” And so you pushed, with every bit of strength you had in you. But then a gunshot sounded outside, followed rapidly by another two. Everyone looked up. “John,” Tommy clarified with a single word. “You’re being awfully cavalier about baby brother John getting shot there, Tommy…” Alfie commented. Tommy looked at Alfie with a frown that spoke volumes, “John just shot Sabini’s men. I told him to.” “Oh, good. Saves me the bloody trip.” “I can see some hair!” Ada called out suddenly. “What colour?” Alfie replied at once. And John stuck his head around the corner of the door, “Took care of them.” “We heard,” Aunt Polly grumbled. He hopped from one foot onto the other uncertainly, “Anything else I can do?” “Yeah, you can fuck off mate!” “Alright, I’ll stay, since you asked so nicely.” “John, just get the fuck out!” your sister shouted. The birth was chaos enough as it was and now all these boys were only adding to it instead of helping. And on top of it all, Finn stumbled in practically falling over his own feet with a bucket of water, splashing Aunt Polly in the process. This was more like a madhouse than a family occasion. But John pointed at Alfie indignantly, “He gets to stay!” “Push, Y/N,” Polly urged again, and so you did. “Nice one,” John laughed at Finn, “you literally had one job, mate.” “Mrs. Gray?” Alfie asked carefully, “Sorry to interrupt you there, alright, but I just wanted to quickly check, because you mentioned the hair, yeah? What colour? Because I’m sure I’ll love my son all the same if he’s blond, but I might just need to mentally prepare myself…” And then you finally burst out in anger, “Can you all just shut the fuck up for a second! I’m actually trying to have a fucking baby here!!” “Right, sorry about that love,” Alfie moved closer to you and grabbed your hand again, “Please continue. You’re doing brilliantly, even if he is blond…” Tommy chuckled lightly in the background, which made you even more angry somehow, “Alfie, I swear to God or Adonai or whatever you want to call him, do nottouch me again because remember how you said you couldn’t remember your circumcision?”

“Yes,” Alfie mumbled in mortal fear.

“You will remember when I do it. Remember how you told me of your rabbi doing it when boys are eight days old, because then it heals faster?”

“Yes...” he gulped.

“I’ll make it slow sweetheart. Really fucking slow.”  

“Right,” he said with big eyes, “What exactly would you have me do then except for just standing here like some great big bloody useless piece of shit?”  

“Shut up!”  

“Noted.” *** You weren’t sure what had happened exactly in that last hour. Apparently you’d lost a lot of blood and things had gotten hazy very quickly. Ada and Aunt Polly had stopped talking altogether and they had managed to save you, despite the bickering men in the background. You did remember that Alfie and Arthur had gotten into a fight at one point, but apparently they managed to resolve it quickly when the doctor arrived and they took turns in beating him up because he was no longer needed. Anger really does bring people together.

Of course, none of that really mattered now, because you were now holding a perfect baby right there, in your arms. Finn just stared at the baby, completely in awe. “Not blond…” John sounded a little disappointed. Arthur grinned, “But bloody perfect.” “Gorgeous, just like the mother,” Polly hugged you carefully. “Shelby good looks.” Tommy nodded slowly, with a sense of pride in his voice. “Any names yet?” Ada asked, “I bet you’ve picked them out ages ago, haven’t you?” “I have,” you smiled, “but couldn’t say them out loud yet, so we didn’t really discuss it. It’s bad luck.”

Uncharacteristically, Alfie hadn’t said a word yet.

“Mr. Solomons?” you said, gazing up from your one love to the other, “I believe you have a daughter.” And finally he smiled, deeply and incredibly in love as he held her tight with both hands. And in the most tender way possible he looked at you, grinned and said, “Fucking hell!”

***

Masterlist

[elsecrytt]

Lesson 74 Ramblings

Okay guys I’m just gonna be real with you here I’m not a big twins fan okay? If you like the twins. Don’t click beneath the cut. It’s a whole buncha negativity centered around those characters, you don’t need to look at it or hear it.

Take care of yourselves and don’t let my wildly subjective, personal, and unrelated opinions bother you in any way. I’m just venting so seriously please just ignore if negativity about the characters will upset you.

Also I get rlly mean in later parts towards the characters. If you’ve read Sinners, All of Us, you know I can be absolutely vicious skadhfgfkhg so uhh proceed with caution bc I am just getting my feelings out here.

Anyways...

Gonna be real, I never got over Lesson 16. The devs weren’t ready/willing to tackle the stuff they wrote about and it shows. The following lessons did not satisfy my personal urge for revenge/closure with the whole murder thing. Not gonna argue with anyone. It just didn’t do it for me.

Additionally, Beel is probably my least favorite character in the entire cast, possibly including Luke (who I don’t like simply because I want this child out of my dating sim lol). 

He had a fun moment or two in Season 1 but honestly his type of character (gentle giant, calm big guy) never appealed to me in the first place and. You can blame this on the writers if you want but 80% of his character is “I’m hungry”. 

Every single time he shows up in a scene it’s to say “I’m hungry” or talk about food. It’s. So. Fucking. Boring. It simply does not make him compelling or interesting as a character and I literally like Belphie better just because I have actual strong feelings for him.

Anyways in the light of me despising both Beel and Belphie,,, yeah uh. 74 was a rough fucking lesson for me.

If you don’t find him then I’ll throw a fucking party. You can stay here in dreamland forever looking for him, you annoying little shit.

Listen, I was mildly aggravated that I had to be nice to Belphie. S4 has been particularly crappy about it, in terms of scenes with Belphie where I could only sweetly call him my friend instead of kissing him, at best.

And his shitty “blood splashes on you” that he didn’t warn you about, where you don’t have the option to tell him “go eat shit and die” - 

Anyways. This particular scene didn’t annoy me that much - I didn’t like Beel, I didn’t like Belphie, whatever, let’s just get the show on the road.

But then...

I tried to catch the third pic mid-sparkle because like. Mammon is just DELIGHTED. Boy is BEAMING. Our cute little sparkling white crow bundle of joy.

He’s happy to see you, too. He says hello to both of you, he’s smiling super nicely, and then he recounts the awesome luck he’s been having.

Like Mammon isn’t even mean? Or rude? He’s talking himself up a little bit (”Super Mammon Night”) but uhhh in the context that Mammon is literally having his best dream fulfilled, which you and Belphie both know... like, it’s not surprising? It’s not really that weird? The dude’s just having a good time?

And what does Belphie do when faced with Mammon’s sincere happiness, with a touch of pretty harmless self-glorification?

I’M LITERALLY GOING TO FUCKING CHOKE YOU AND TOSS YOU DOWN THE STAIRS YOU STUPID PIECE OF SHIT!!!

Literally dude Mammon is just having a happy dream and Belphie shits allllll over it. It is harmless and meaningless and Mammon is BEAMING and Belphie goes “It’s really irritating, huh?”

No, you’re irritating, you worthless cow!!! GO AWAY!! Like why does he have to talk like this in response to his brother smiling and talking about his winning streak, which he’s having, because this is his dream? Why???

I mean, it’s always been like this for Mammon. But remember those options up above you have to comfort Belphie when he’s upset?

Here’s what you get for Mammon:

Why don’t you get one option that’s just a little nice to him? Seriously??? The game makes you let your MURDERER down gently, but can’t let you say “Mammon, it’s me, I’ll buy you dinner if you wake up” or smth?

Augh just. It grinds my gears guys. I don’t like Belphie. I would love it if Belphie got the options Mammon does, and I’d sincerely enjoy Belphie’s presence in the game more like that.

It’s especially jarring in the light of how desperately concerned Belphie is about Beel, too (who I also have to be nice to, despite not liking, and who’s caught the “be mean to mammon” but this season, himself). 

Like Belphie why don’t you and Beel just stay in the dream so I never have to see EITHER of you again? That’d work perfectly for me! 

ksdrhgkgfh yeah I was like. Thinking stuff like that for a good portion of the lesson. I just don’t like Belphie and having him shoved front and center of the lesson, and that would have been bearable bc hey, everyone’s fave deserves a moment in the limelight... but then he has to be a dick to Mammon? over NOTHING?

AUGH. 

Anyways yeah very sorry to anyone reading this who didn’t realize how savage I am adkfghldfhg I simply have a considerable amount of rage,,, it’s not a coincidence that I write so much Satan stuff adkfhglhfg

[headingalaxys-spicy]

Can you do Yandere Prussia with a spy soldier darling???

Ah Prussia a power to be feared when you hear the phrase : “Suck it losers.”

This holds especially true if he’s lovesick for you. I hope you know how to kick ass like Hungary because that’s the only way you’re getting away from him.

If not have fun getting kidnapped.

He’s not going to be easy on you and since you’re in the military that makes your situation worse. So any lingering guilt he may have about your initial capture will be null and void. You betrayed him after all.

Of course it’s in your job description to blend in and keep a low profile. The only reason you luck out at gathering intel on him and his army is because while he’s great in the department of strength and engineering he’s not so great with reading the room sometimes. That includes picking up on subtle hints that there is a literal spy in his midst.

He grew fond of you since you showcased skill in combat training and a great deal of strength and agility. Which is what sparked his interest in the first place.

❤️‍🩹He’ll want to be around you almost 24/7. He will even invite you to ‘special’ training sessions just you and him and even ask you to jog with him at 5am.

❤️‍🩹He’s going to try and impress you with his biceps

❤️‍🩹He’s also going to kick his leg up on a chair and shout : “MY MILKSHAKES BRING ALL THE CHICKS TO ZHE YARD!”

❤️‍🩹Overall he’s around you so much where it’s smothering and begins to hinder your abilities and compromise your mission.

Sending data to your government will be almost impossible.

Doing remote surveillance

Making connections with other people in power, colleagues that may have useful information. Since he’s high key possessive he’s going to do whatever it takes to use up you time and talk to you. And since he’s your superior you can’t say no.

Eventually he’s stalled you so much on time to where your government is beginning to get impatient and the fact that Prussia’s younger brother Germany has already caught on and has done his own research. He’s been able to not the discrepancies that give you away. That and a team of hackers on his side that have accessed your file.

When he hands this information over to Prussia he calls him a lair. Saying none of it could be true trying not to let his delusions falter.

Germany will offer Prussia a compromise

“Zeek knowledge for jourself und I will help you obtain (real name). Or as you know them (fake name.) I can help you have them captured and tried for treason, espionage, and impersonating military personnel. All things that would make them an enemy to our government and make it impossible for them to escape back to their own country.”

“Deal mein Bruder.”

❤️‍🩹He’s going to begin stalking you and even place microphones in your home along with getting help from Germany to look at all the messages you sent from your burner phone.

Every message, picture, contact, and rendezvous spot you name it he now has undeniable proof.

❤️‍🩹The next thing you’ll be aware of is you’re in a plain room with your hands cuffed behind you. While you’re still in your German / Prussian military uniform.

“Y/N how could jou do zhis tk me? I thought we were cool brohas and could do awesome zhings und fight together. But zhis whole time you’ve been plotting my downfall.”

You say nothing and let the silence sink in. You didn’t want to acknowledge that you’ve been caught. You had failed your country.

You fully tensed your muscles ready for the impending harsh torture that was covered in your original training before you left (home country). You weren’t going to let him have your nations secrets. You let your head hang low and eyes crunch together because you didn’t want to see what you’d be battered around with.

Your expectations of your impending torment was converted to confusion when his pale hand glided on your cheek to your chin so you could look up at him.

His red eyes were filled with a jumble of emotions rage, pride, love, obsession, confusion, hate, pride just many more emotions that he was incapable of putting into words. Prussia isn’t accustomed to this tremendous amount of emotions at one time.

“Mein Fräulein I can spare jou on two conditions give up your allegiance to (home country) and give it to mine. Two: Become meiner Braut.”

[karlswrites]

Big Vs. Little Spoon

Demon Bois + Non-Dateables Edition

This game is my newest hyper-fixation, so please bear with me. I know there are a lot of head-canons about the boys cuddling, but here’s my rendition. Boy howdy, this one’s a little long...

Warnings: Pure Fluff 

❤️ Lucifer: Because he’s the Avatar of Pride, Lucifer loves feeling bigger than you.  His pride inhibits him from being the little spoon, so he often opts for being the big spoon. Luci can’t help but admire the way his arms completely envelop you when he’s the big spoon. However, if he decides that you’ve been “a good little Main Character,” then he might acquiesce to your request, allowing you to lounge over him. Additionally, Luci prefers that the two of you cuddle in his bed, as it is rather large and extremely comfortable. Seeing you sprawled out over or curled in his comforter fills him to the brim with pride. Being able to hold you close to his chest gives him more pride than literally anything else. Being the elegant fella that he is, he will always lower himself beside you gently, careful not to disturb you. He won’t jump on the bed like some people. 

(I’m so sorry you had to read that one line of dialogue, if you can even call it that.)

💛 Mammon: A true switch on top of and underneath the sheets, Mammon is more likely to be the little spoon than his elder brother. He will never admit to you how much he enjoys feeling your arms slumped over him, but he does love it. He’ll never object to being the big spoon, though, as having his arms and legs draped over you is a HUGE ego booster. Mammon often feels little in the company of his brothers, so knowing that you feel safe and comfortable in his hold makes the guy’s heart melt. I must warn you, though, that Mammon doesn’t hesitate to leap unto your bed, effectively smothering you with his love and adoration. In the private on your room or his, because he loves showing his stuff off, he’ll entangle himself in you. Honestly, it doesn’t matter to him how you’re lying, as long as he gets to stay with you. If you satisfy his greed, and you always do, he will never leave.

(My friend thought of an adorable Mammon x MC Piggy-back ride idea, but that’s for another day, hehe)

💙 Leviathan: This poor boy isn’t used to physical touch, much less having someone in his room almost every night. His only experience comes from a Ruri-chan body pillow, and that thing does not compare to your warmth. At first, you have to be the big spoon. Although he’s embarrassed, Levi adores the feeling of your arms and legs hooked around him. He always takes the opportunity to take his hands and intertwine them with yours over his chest and waist. Now, if Levi gets jealous, then that’s a whole other story. If he notices a few too many people crowded around you or hugging you throughout the day, he’ll find his confidence and trap you into him. He’ll pull you into the bathtub with him, lay you down on his pillows, and act clingy so that nobody mistakes you for theirs. Good luck leaving the tub, ya hooligan. 

💚 Satan: Out of the two options, Satan is probably the big spoon most of the time. He likes holding you close, being able to enjoy some peace and quiet with you. He’s not so much of a ‘little/big spoon’ as he is a ‘two forks lying snuggly together in a drawer’ kind of guy. You lie next to him, your arms looped around his neck or his chest. Satan holds a book over the two of you, reading aloud softly. His free hand is snaked under your waist, his thumb gently stroking up and down your spine with each sentence he reads. On the other hand, if it’s late at night or super early in the morning, he’ll indulge in that prime spooning opportunity. He’d probably place his chin in the crook of your shoulder. He’ll probably have his hands anchored in your waist. He’ll probably - most definitely- slowly turn you around in his arms, letting his hands wander back towards your spine. Satan loves having you pressed against his heartbeat and vice versa. Your heart is the perfect sound for him to fall asleep to. 

💗 Asmodeus: This guy is a little spoon. With how much he loves himself and you, of course, he will curl himself into you. Asmo doesn’t like as much for his back to face you, so he always ends up turning around in your arms. He wants you to have constant access to his face. Whether you’re looking at him or kissing him, it doesn’t matter; Asmo wants your attention on his beautiful face. Being constantly suggestive, especially when it comes to you, he slowly weaves his legs between yours. He doesn’t hesitate when playing footsies, too. In terms of his preferences, he loves hosting you in his room. If you ever want to cuddle in your room, though, then he’ll eagerly agree. Asmo looks forward to leaving the scent of whatever fragrance he’s wearing all over your bedsheets. He wants you thinking about him 24/7 after all. 

(If anyone disagrees with this one, in particular, square up in a Denny’s parking lot.)

🧡 Beelzebub: As long as you’re eating food during cuddling, Beel could care less how you’re placed over him. He’s a big boy, so he’s often the big spoon. One of his arms will snake its way underneath you, holding you tightly around the waist. His other hand is preoccupied with a bag of chips or another tasty snack. Unlike Asmo, Beel is not nearly as handsy. He keeps you in his strong hold the entire time. When he’s done eating, he moves his hand up to your head. His digits will stroke and play with your hair. It’s so soft, and Beel can’t get enough of how relaxed it makes the both of you feel. Another position he likes, which isn’t necessarily spooning, but him lying on his back with you on top. Beel loves, loves, loves your head on his chest. The way his chin rests upon your head is so nice to him. He drapes his arms down your back, hooking his legs over yours. He keeps you in place, and you feel so safe. He is a legitimate teddy bear. 

💜 Belphegor: The Avatar of Sloth is the best cuddler, hands down. He has so many pillows and, upon request, can provide pillow forts, beds, nooks , or whatever you need. You always fall asleep within minutes. Cuddling was a bit difficult at first, as you didn’t always trust him. Actually, it was Belphie’s attempt to gain your trust that led you to be cuddle-buddies (besides your mutual pining, of course). Like some of his brothers, he doesn’t prefer one position over the other. He can be a big or little spoon. You say the word, and he’ll fall into the position with ease. He covers you with blankets, making you appear as a burrito/cocoon. He is definitely warm each and every time you snuggle in close. Belphie clings to you as a sloth clings to its branch, never letting go, even when you wake up. 

❤️ Diavolo: Another big boy, Diavolo is the - drum roll, please- big spoon. He has the broadest shoulders, biggest hands, and widest chest that’s perfect to fall into. Whenever you cuddle, he silently hopes you choose his castle. He’s always so excited to bring you over, and this guy has a massive bed. It’s literally made for a king. Since he’s a ray of sunshine, Diavolo will playfully tug you onto the mattress with him. He holds your face, caressing your cheeks. He grabs your waist, pulling you in even closer. He doesn’t let go until he absolutely has to. Sometimes, Barbatos has to come in and drag him away from you. Diavolo is completely smitten by you, and his affection only grows every time he relaxes against your back. Furthermore, cuddling with you is the perfect way to end a stressful day of dealing with the crazy demon brothers. 

💚 Barbatos: Barbatos may be a butler, but something about him screams big spoon. He loves scooping you up in his arms. The feeling of his heartbeat against your back brings him the greatest sense of comfort. When keeping you tangled up in his arms, he asks now and again if he can move in anyway, get you anything, or do anything to make you feel even more comfortable. He likes his control, but he always aims to please. Barbatos and you never stay still for long. His fingers run along your arms, sides, and shoulders continuously. He, too, likes playing with your hair. If you fall asleep before him, he places kisses on the back of your scalp, neck, and shoulders. He never goes past that, but cuddling allows him ample time to indulge in some innocent physical attention. Expect to be carried out of bed bridal style when the two of you wake up. 

🖤 Solomon: As the Devildom’s official special snowflake, you might never know what you’ll get with him. Solomon prefers feeling your back against his chest, though he will, like Lucifer, reward you by being the little spoon. He’s very calm and cool, so being the little spoon doesn’t embarrass him. He only cares about encasing you with his arms, hands wrapped around you in a big hug. He’s not as outwardly affectionate with you as another guy might be, but Solomon delivers some high-quality snuggles. You feel small and safe against him, and that’s all he could ever want. In terms of location, the two of you typically end up in your room. However, on days when the demon boys are at it again, he will coyly invite you into his dorm. He loves when your scent seeps its way into his bedsheets, but he also loves it when his gets lost in yours. Solomon is always left floored by how such simple affection can make him feel so warm and fuzzy. He doesn’t need to worry about spells with you, and you don’t need to worry about anything with him. 

🤍 Simeon: Similar to Levi, Simeon isn’t used to physical touch, but he’s not as shy. Cuddling you sounds as good as heaven, and he relishes in the feeling of your soft skin against his. Another true switch, in my humble opinion, he is content with being a big or little spoon. He’s an angel, and his greatest concern is how comfortable you are at all times. He’s inexperienced, so he will more-than-happily follow your lead. He never moves without your consent. You might have to reassure him a few times that moving is totally fine. In fact, it’s welcomed. Once he gets that through his noggin, he finally relaxes into you. From behind, Simeon grazes his hands over your stomach, loving the warmth you emit. If you’re behind him, he’ll seize the opportunity to clutch his hands in yours, loving the feeling of your head on his shoulder. He sleeps so much better with you.

[julietsbb]

The thing about this episode is that I feel like there was so much going on that we don’t have the proper context for, like:

What is Vegas’ endgame with Porsche? We’ve been given the ‘he just wants whatever Kinn has’ line, which I feel like is a disservice to Vegas’ intellect. He’s clearly using Porsche to get to Kinn, to show how weak Kinn is or to highlight his weakness to the rest of the ~family, to show himself the better heir. (See also: daddy’s little chat about the blunted apple knife)

Vegas clearly spends the entire episode showing off to Porsche and the other bodyguards; ‘look how much better I treat my men, i feed them, i let them party, we have ~trust. I buy you expensive toys. (I’m also much better at extracting information)’ Vegas is doing everything in his power to undermine Kinn - Porsche is just one pawn to use in this game, but he’s also a key pawn, because he’s Kinn’s weakness.

And then there’s the whole ex thing. Vegas deliberately plants doubt and insecurity in Porsche and I feel like Kinn’s reaction to the ‘why don’t you just shoot me like your ex.’ line is going to be really interesting in retrospect. Because of the teaser we know he isn’t actually dead, so what’s the truth? Is Vegas deliberately lying? Did Kinn or his dad spread a false rumour about it on purpose? Did Kinn find a way to let Tawan leave the mafia life, like he offered Porsche in the last episode? Uncovering what happened there is going to shed a light on a lot of things.

THEN THERE’S KIM. Why is he playing with my Porchey’s emotions 😠 and what is HIS endgame here? Like, of course he’s trying to gather information on Porsche, but for what purpose? Or is he trying to become closer to the little brother, so he can use it to manipulate/influence his older brother, which in turn means he has something on/a way to influence Kinn? Does Kim even know how close Porsche and Kinn are at this point?? He’s never with the main family except for that one time he visited.

What was that text conversation between Pete and Kinn about? Are they trying to see if Vegas/the minor family has a mole in their camp?

Did Kinn and Porsche fuck after their little flirt and emotional moment on the balcony?? (Asking the real questions!)

I don’t know, but around the ‘main plot’ of this episode (other mafia groups trying to take advantage of a wounded leader and our boys trying to counteract that), I feel like there was a lot of moving pieces we don’t quite understand yet. Vegas himself is trying to take advantage of a weakened Kinn (he literally calls him weak in the episode). He pushes Kinn to the edge with paranoia with his antics and he pushes his luck on every level to the degree that Kinn snaps and can’t sit on the sidelines anymore, he has to step in. ‘Do you see the ring on my finger?!’ - Kinn’s reminding him of his place. And I think that was probably a contingent of Vegas’ play all along - because he may have to scuttle away with his tail between his legs, but he successfully drove a wedge between Porsche and Kinn. Porsche is disappointed in his lack of trust. He lashes out going right for that jugular - ‘if you don’t trust me, and your trust issues killed your ex, why don’t you just shoot me now and get it over with?’ Kinn’s shocked and hurt by this sudden accusation, of being faced with this. Because he *literally just said* that he doesn’t want to be his old self. He just confessed he wants to be different - and be different with Porsche specifically. But he’s being slapped in the face with how he literally was just that: he still has Pete narrating their interactions, he still has to interrupt and in the moment doesn’t see the Porsche is actually actively pushing him away (did Vegas spike his drink again? Maybe not as much as last time, but I do think he did!) - Kinn realises he hasn’t changed. He’s hurt Porsche (again) with his lack of trust. So he apologises (again). (But Kinn, at some point, apologies ain’t gonna cut it. Also, you are really obsessed with Porsche’s nipples. Not that I blame you.)

This is extremely rambly, apologies, but tl;dr: I think a lot of what is going on in this episode re: character choices and motivations, are going to make a lot more sense in hindsight, and I look forward to watching this episode back with 20:20 vision.

(ps: I just want to say I really appreciate whomever make the choice of turning the playful flirty moment into a serious emotional one. because the flirting was Cute and Sexy, but Kinn was there because he knows Porsche was going to be in a shoot out the next day. he said ‘come back to me’ and tried to cover his own nerves and fear with flirting, but in the end it was not about that. especially since Porsche was actually reaching out, looking for some support (‘can’t you say something supportive?’ 😭)

[kissesandcream]

a smol sibling.,

w/ xiao, kaeya, & venti

— • request from anon : being the trio’s younger sibling! (separately)

xiao p1 || kaeya p1 || gn ! sibling ! reader || headcanon format || 1.5k words

; masterlist.,

; a / n - i’ve done xiao and kaeya before, but i had some more ideas so i’m making some more! links above if you’d like to read the others <3

xiao .,

• the other hcs i made for him where general, but here anon specified a younger sibling, so i’ll do that!

• he’s that sibling who’ll pretend ur the most annoying thing on the planet but would do anything for u so much as you ask

• “xiao when u come back could i have some glaze lilies” “get them yourself im the vigilant yaksha not a flower picker🙄” mhm then why did u literally wipe out qingce village’s flower population hm xiao 🤨

• teaches u how to fight!! but he’s not teaching he’s “helping you discover things yourself so you can be a functional person”

• it takes way too much effort to get this man to admit he loves you but you know it as much as he does so it’s okay <3

• cloud retainer has so much dirt on him it’s crazy. if you ever need some blackmail material head over to hers. also you can find some embarassing pictures she’s got a heckton

• verr goldet takes care of u a lot too, xiao’s a great brother and all but he lacks in this department called self care

• idk if you’re mortal or adeptus or half adeptus but if you need to eat and do basic body functions he does not got u covered

• mans would try to raise u on almond tofu until verr goldet bought out a food pyramid and explained about these things called nutrients 

• he also doesn’t understand how important sleep is so,,, “xiao i’m gonna stay up” “yeah sure whatever” passing out two days later “y/N WHAT’S WRONG-”

• yeah verr goldet and the innkeeper guy give him a guide to basic survival talk and all through it he’s glaring at you like why did you never tell me you needed human things to live >:( 

• now that he knows you need sleep, he makes u sleep at 8 pm every night like a grandpa!! good luck trying to get him to stop!!

• are these getting too guardian-like and less sibling-like??? 😭 but that’s the vibes he gives yk!! ur over protective adeptus parent-brother who has no clue how u work but wants to try to understand a little

• in the game u can tell how much more open he gets wit the traveller as friendship levels progress, and if you’ve maxed it out he’d basically do anything for you and would want you to trouble him than yourself

• and he’ll probably be closer with you than he’ll ever be with traveller since you’re siblings and whatnot, so it would make sense that he looks out for you more than your typical older brother yk

• plays the flute for you!! if he hears u humming a tune under your breath he’ll find it and learn it to play for u 

• he may not fully understand how relationships work but he’s trying his best for u <3

 kaeya .,

• my other kaeya hcs were in relation to you being close / living with diluc, but these will be more general and central towards kaeya!

• kaeya fits literally every older brother trope that exists. the brother who’s always got ur back? you got it. the brother who keeps secrets you don’t know about from you? heck yeah. the annoying brother who makes u do his chores for him? maybe a little too much.

• pls he (lovingly) shoves all of his small tasks onto u it’s infuriating but you can’t even say no bc then he gets all dramatic 

• “y/n 😩 you’re abandonning your dear brother like this 😩 how could you 😩 i didn’t know you were so cruel 😩” sir shut up <3

• since he’s a people person everyone knows u very well too, heck all the senior citizens probably voted u as second best in law after him or smth idk man 

• hanging out with best boy bennett!! he canonically sees kaeya as an older brother too so y’all def go on little adventures together <3

• ur one of the only people who have ever looked under his eyepatch, diluc and crepus being the only other two

• sometimes he forgets to take it off when he goes to bed and it leaves a bruise bc it’s pretty tight, so he let’s you change it for him 

• “i can do this myself, you know” well he can but you both know he likes it better when you’re there

• does not allow your closet to be anything less than exquisite, you’ve got a bunch of scarfs like his whether you like it for not

• makes u buy his wine from diluc for him bc every time he goes to the tavern diluc raises the price tenfold just for him

• he’s that sibling who will rile you up on purpose just for the fun of it. i have a cousin who used to do that when he was younger and it was annoying but he still adores me sm so i don’t mind <3

• besides even if he does get on ur nerves amber’s got ur back- you can rant to her about him for hours on end and she’ll add with her experiences with kaeya’s bullying

• what are siblings if not for sibling rivalry, yes he picks on u constantly but he also picks u up when you’re feeling low <3

venti .,

• oh my gods he would be sO FUN

• the two of you are the bane of diluc’s existence, venti loops u into his winery pilfering plans a lot 

• venti pulls the archon card if the two of you get caught by him idk what excuse you’ve got but it better be good 😭

• no way the god of wind and song’s sibling doesn’t love music- even if you’re tone deaf, or hard of hearing, music is about the pleasure it brings and he’ll bring it to you

• you guys go wind gliding a lot of the time too!! y’all don’t even need gliders you’ve got the power of anemo 😎

• he’s that cool brother who’s only rule is that you do whatever you want to do, life is too short for regrets so live in the moment and be spontaneous!

• even though he’s older he seems much younger than you at heart 😭 will wine if you don’t do something for him it’s hilarious

• you’ve got other things to do and he’s just “but hanging out!!!” and ur like “but work!!!” 

• it’s very hard to be productive with him around, he will distract u with something as mundane as an apple- it’s not his fault tho bb just has a poor attention span 😭 

• he’s very clingy, if you’re together he’ll link your elbows like everyone did in sixth grade, and in turn u can kick him in the kneecaps when he does stupid things

• he’s the ceo of stupid things so u get to kick him a lot, it’s a mutal symbiotic relationship we love to see it <33

• my brain is dead and i can’t english rn but. his vibes yk he’s so fun to be around, he gives out surprisingly killer advice too

• i have this man’s teapot lines plastered on my wall bc they help me deal with stuff, so if you’re ever down you can always, always, always go to him and he’ll have the exact things to say

• if it’s words, he has them, if it’s silence you need he’ll lend you his shoulder; but there was never an instance he doesn’t leave you better than before

• you haven’t seen his archon side a lot, since he doesn’t show it all that much, but it’s so far from venti it’s a little scary; but in a sort of admiring way yk

• you guys visit zhongli sometimes, and it’s a free real estate for blackmail material bc of how terrified venti is of him

• zhongli is like that long lost uncle who visits once a year, and you’re his favorite child so he gives you candy and picks on venti for not taking good enough care of you

• “i’m their sibling not their parent” “you’re older have some responsibility >:(”

• if you ever get drunk he will hear about it and will come all the way from liyue to i will have order venti’s head, regardless of whether he was the cause of you being drunk or not

• that about wraps it up! im sure i could think of more but my brain is sorta dead rn so this will have to suffice 😭 i can’t think of a closing statement sO i hope u enjoyed!! bye bye!! <3