#Mom? Dad? Anybody?

[banannabethchase]

Writing a college choice chapter and I just got walloped with the memory of my dad making an absurdly detailed spreadsheet with like 4 separate sheets to help me choose which college to go to. The apple does not fall far from the tree.

...but this apple still managed to choose the wrong college.

[n1ghteeea]

The elven siblings is something that can be so very dear to exactly one (1) person who is also me. Here they are left to right: Elrohir, Arwen, Estel and Elladan

[inkskinned]

this is sort of pathetic, but when you were younger, you were sort of puzzled by the cartoon representations of fathers: how a kid would be outside with a mitt, waiting to play catch.

it's not that your father never played catch with you, but you also didn't like when he did. something about a hard ball coming quickly towards your face doesn't seem exciting. not that you'd ever say you don't trust him. you trust him, right?

it's not like he never tried to teach you anything. or never tried to parent. on rare days, a strange person would walk in your father's skin. bright, happy, magnificent. this version of your father was so cheerful and charismatic that you would do anything to keep him. and this is the version of your father that would laugh and gently coax you try again. this is the version of your father that would break down the small elements of a problem and point them out so you have an easier time with them.

as a kid, those days happened more often. but somewhere around 11, you started being too much of a person, and he was often cross about it. when he'd try to sit you down to learn something, you spent the whole time with your shoulders around your ears, nervous, uncertain. terrified because you didn't immediately understand how to navigate something. worried you will run out of his goodwill and then you will have the Other Father back, and you will have ruined a good day for your entire family. something about you being visibly afraid - it just made him angry. he would accuse you of not wanting to learn and storm away.

on tv, it's not like there's a lot of versions of men-who-are-mostly-fathers. they can be good dads, but usually their stories are not told in the household. so it's normal that your father is there, but he's never around. you know he was in the house, somewhere, it's just not that you guys ever... "hung out". he just seemed to get kind of bored of you, annoyed you weren't made in his perfect image. frustrated with how much energy it took to raise a kid. over time, you kind of adopt a bittersweet band around your throat - he knows nothing about me. he says at least i never abandoned my family.

and it's technically - technically - true. he was there for you. sometimes he even made an effort and made it to the big moments; the graduations and the dance recitals. he grins and tells everyone that he taught you. it almost erases the days in between, where he complains because you need a ride to school. the weeks that go by where he doesn't actually ever speak to you. the times you say i am struggling and he says figure it out on your own. i can't help you.

and that's fine! that's all fine. you can call him if you are having a problem with your car. or if you need a ride to the hospital. he loves playing hero, he just doesn't like the actual work that comes with being a father. and you've kind of made your peace with that; because you had to, because you don't want to live your life like he does; the whole world at a managed distance, a little rotating and controlled orb he can witness and take credit for but never truly love.

as an adult, you are rewatching some dumb cartoon - and again, the child standing in the rain, with a mitt, waiting for their father to come play catch. as an adult, there's this strange creeping dread - this little thing? this little thing, and their dad can't even show up for that? oh god, holyshit, it's not about the mitt, is it. oh god, holyshit, your father spent most of your life leaving you hanging.

[trollsgg]

I have begun my John Dory Deeply Traumatized Dad AU over on AO3, if anyone wants to read it <|:•). Reminder warning, content of the first two chapters includes a somewhat explicit scene of sexual assault, and another of not quite unintentional water torture via dunking. Both scenes are relatively short and there is a guide to skip them. Both scenes take place in chapter 2.

Take care of yourselves and also enjoy my evil machinations!

This is not an incest fic. It does include a few OCs to fill in the important cast.

[awoooooubliette]

i’ve seen other people sharing their family lore and such on here before and i wanted to share mine because it’s really fucking funny and i will literally never shut up about it. so i used to live out on the (american) west coast with my mom and bio dad, and when i was like 4 (ish) my dad decided to do some fucked up shit (understatement) and so he decided to do the most logical thing possible when faced with court hearings: my father, who i have inherited many fun and interesting mental illnesses from, tried to fake his death in the most cheesy and absurd way possible.

he (again!! in order to escape court hearings) decided to set up his apartment like it was something out of a crime drama. he left dozens of empty beer bottles around, left a really incredibly overdramatic ‘woe is me, my life sucks, the world isn’t worth me’ note for people to find, and then (this is the best part) he left a MAP. on the TABLE. he had CIRCLED A CLIFF ON IT and EXPECTED EVERYONE TO JUST. ACCEPT HE JUMPED OFF???

the way that my mom found out where he even WAS happened because he got caught selling drugs in las vegas with his girlfriend and the cops called her and were like ‘hey is this your husband’ and she was like ‘yeah thanks guys i’ve been trying to prove he disappeared so i can divorce him’ and at that point it had been like a full year and my mom had had to hire a literal private investigator in order to PROVE he was actually gone at all and it wasn’t just her trying to steal money while he was away on a fishing trip or whatever

(she did end up divorcing him btw and remarried to my step dad who very much stepped up <3)

but yeah that’s… how my dad both failed and succeeded faking his own death 👍

[br1ghtestlight]

its always some white suburban family w/ two parents and a teenage daughter who is on her phone too much and an athletic nine to eleven year old brother who is closer to his dad (they never have any problems) and they both do rowdy Boys activities and play sports together while the mom and daughter are having their big emotional fight or whatever. aren't you tired?? How long do we have to accept Surbuan families with a teenager daughter and adolescent son with this exact dynamic in media. Most boring stock tv show family in existence

[bingobongobonko]

just figured to do research on my hometown before i moved to where i live now, and not to my shock it was a sundown town? i shouldn't NOT be shocked but yea. black residents who wanted to exercise their right to vote before being physically assaulted and murdered by these white towns, alongside the burning of two black churches and dozens of homes. it recently acknowledged its history and denounced itself as a sundown town, but it has a very long way to go from here.

honestly when i was older i was under the impression central florida was just mad white but. well? it was like that for a reason, wasn't it! no shit lol! <- me to myself

article if youre interested: https://www.pnj.com/story/news/local/state/2022/06/08/florida-sundown-towns-jay-ocoee-past-racial-legacy/9805440002/ whatever doxxing my old home i dont care. i dont live there anymore its been 10+ years

[choking-on-roses]

It deeply bothers me that nobody in my life ever responds to messages from me and they often leave me on read even when I'm talking about something really important

On the other hand it leads to some pretty hilarious conversations when days later I send a meme

[alistairian]

Um actually, I inhereted all my "masculine" attributes from my mom, so jot that down

[elprupneerg]

burst into tears while petting the 2 remaining cats. i am having a normal one tonight gang

[wellnesscard]

for an ex anorexic i cook with a lotttt of oil. idk its how im raised. its funny running away from home yr first chance n then years down the road recalling how your beautiful mom made our meals and mimicking that. i loved cooking with her like shes afraid of cancer so back in the 90s she went unprocessed basically. they cooled up lately but we made our own bread and tortillas my whole childhood it was kinda awesome. some people might describe her as an "almond mom" and she was, almonds was a viable snack in our household, but to me she was more of an olive oil and garlic mom

[apprenticestanheight]

there is nothing quite like bringing up a consistent point of your anxiety and being met with "shut up" bc you've been anxious about it for ages and if your family hears one more word of it, they just. get mad.

[br1ghtestlight]

(some of) my absolutely ridiculous object oc notes that i wrote down in an actual notebook for safekeeping & doodles. not even a percentage of a percentage of everything i have written down about them but i like doodling them sometimes on actual paper and its like a "show bible" type of reference book to help..... other people understand the general vibe of the characters?? i have much more in depth notes on various online platforms because of course lmao

[nomaishuttle]

looking back on it i do think my childhood was engineered in a lab to make a really maladjusted person

[tacochippy]

??? Plenty of straight women believed and defended Johnny Depp (despite all the evidence that he was an abusive piece of shit)

A lot of women have internalised misogyny and inherently believe men over women

You see it all the time in fan spaces

These things can be true simultaneously !!

I know this is a thing that happens because it happened to my dad. His job? Lost. His friends? Left him. Nobody (other than our family, which is more than most can say in this situation) beleived my dad when he said he would never do that to my mother or to his kids. My dad would never do anything like that, to anyone, for many reasons. I know this for a fact.

Its a thing that happens. Its not every time (heavens no), but it still happens. Lots of women get beelived immediately.

It also doesnt need to be brought to court! Its mostly just rumour spreading, from whst ive seen firsthand and been told.

Women dont beleived often, but when they do if theyre lying it causes all sorts of problems.

And btw, i am saying this as a sexual absue victim who didnt get help for years because nobody beleived her. So i have seen and been through both sides of the story.

[pagliacciao]

not to complain about my family every day im here but my mom loves to hide peoples' shit or throw it away, and then claim to never have seen it and not know what you're talking about. it really fucked with my perception of reality growing up and now as an adult it just pisses me off!! when something goes missing we All know who did it and we have to pretend it's fine and normal