#my dad calls it “put away.”

[pagliacciao]

not to complain about my family every day im here but my mom loves to hide peoples' shit or throw it away, and then claim to never have seen it and not know what you're talking about. it really fucked with my perception of reality growing up and now as an adult it just pisses me off!! when something goes missing we All know who did it and we have to pretend it's fine and normal

[fumifooms]

Thinking about them…

[usertoxicyaoi]

INCOMING MARRIAGE OF CONVENIENCE -> LOVERS?? ITS WHAT I DESERVE.

[nostalgicfun]

Flying a kite with dad, 1999

[fyodoro]

I feel bad for ppl who never had older brothers growing up cause it feels like crucial character development but i also. am very jealous of ppl who didn’t have older brothers or ppl who had only ONE. like damn you guys didnt get tortured for the majority of your early developmental years? lucky

[keeps-ache]

once again i am on the playlist lol

[whenthegoldrays]

does it ever take you by surprise what a small world it is

[inusmasha]

,

[aria0fgold]

Okay last post before sleep cuz ngl though I'm not gonna put Conan in p5 simply cuz there's Too Many Things going on with him that I'd have an easier time with Kaito instead which also, can yall see the problem then? Conan and Kaito is similar in that they're both pursuing and being targetted by a dangerous organization, Kaito is at risk a lot more considering how he's practically putting himself out there with his heists as Kaito KID while the times Conan gets in danger is when he tries to get closer to any of his org nemesis' henchmen for evidence, which doesn't happen often.

But despite that Conan has A Lot of reliable allies, Kaito included (not really on the "reliable" part but more on the "ally" part). While Kaito only has Jii-san which is the same guy making the KID gadgets for him and Conan (again not a "reliable" one for Kaito but still an "ally"). And like???????? What about Kaito's other allies? I'm not counting the group Kaito got pulled into by his childhood friend which is a group made to Catch KID and not help 'Kaito.' Like, what kinda allies are that, Aoko only wants to catch the magician thief, Hakuba is... Hakuba (he can be an "ally" but like Conan, not a reliable one), and there's that... witch who never really does anything much to help but give out warnings. (I forgot her name holup... AKAKO! There we go).

Compared to Conan who has like, a lot, and most of em are spoilers so if whoever reading this wanna get into dcmk, feel free to skip. There's Agasa that's the one creating the gadgets for him, Ai who knows his secret and is practically in the same boat as him (since she was a scientist from the org that wanted out yet shrunk too), Heiji which is like his bestie who's a fairly good detective, THE AKAI FAMILY (That entire family is a mf unit bro, there's a FBI sharpshooter, a mom that's a mi6 agent, another highschool detective with skills on par with Conan that knows jeet kune do, a shogi master that's also insanely good at strategizing in general. Like bro, wtf), Furuya Rei aka Amuro Tooru aka Bourbon-- Also a wtf moment there. CONAN HAS PROTECTION FROM VERMOUTH, one of the most important members of that same organization he's pursuing. Vermouth refuses to hurt and especially kill Conan and Ran.

Like, that kid has it all meanwhile Kaito DOESN'T HAVE ANYONE??? The treatment here. So yes, I'm only putting Kaito in p5 cuz he deserves ppl to be there for him if there's barely anyone in his own source material. (Maybe I'd even put Hakuba in p5 too, as a treat, cuz he's also gotten the short end of the stick too). Hakuba can be with Akechi to put some load off his back with the addition of Another thief getting added in their universe except Hakuba is also a menace of his own way so honestly, good luck Akechi.

[andromedasummer]

ngl it seems like everything has been going wrong for my dads side of the family these first two months of the year

[skeletons-in-ur-closet]

its just not fair that my mom has to be completely dependent on me 100% when im barely 20 years old

[momochiiee-reblogs]

Being screamed at for things that aren't my fault seems to be a norm in this house

There's cookware scattered an dirty? Guess who gets blamed for it? The exact one that almost never has spoons for cooking in the first place

I live cleaning the trail after me so they won't have any reason to scream at me, but my brother leaves absolute messes behind him and the screams are for me

Fuck off

[sercphs]

I have concluded nothing makes me angrier than a phone call

[fuckyeahrevresbo]

I'm lonely.

I've been in this city for about 20 months now and... I guess it would be disingenuous to say I haven't made any friends. There's some coworkers (mostly former coworkers now) I get on with, and I've even had them over a couple times to chat and play a video game. But it's very rare, and I'm once again in the position where it's an I always need to be the one setting everything up situation. Not once have they ever suggested hanging out first.

I recognize how you meet new people. Just go to the same place consistently, do the same activity consistently. After a day at work, though, I don't feel much like going anywhere. Don't feel much like spending money at a place consistently (and most places you can go cost money). And I'm still about the only person I know who masks in public regularly, and I don't really like going places if I don't at least know people are vaxxed. Getting more and more difficult to ask about that, especially given the... political climate where I live.

I can still do things online with my friends back home. It's fun, I enjoy it. Have all these board games up here though that don't get played. I had hoped at least since I lived in the same place I'd see my cousins more often. It is more often, I guess, more often than the once or twice a year before, but it's not exactly... common. And it's unfair of me, but now I'm annoyed at one of them. Messaged her and her sister separately about getting together for board games. Got told by her (still haven't heard from her sister) that it's difficult because their schedules don't line up. I said to her they could come over different times, doesn't have to be together. I know her sister usually drives them, but I can drive, as I told her. And now I hear that she's meeting my roommate to do some activities on Saturday while I've got an online game. I don't begrudge them that per se, they're allowed to do stuff without me, but there's something about meeting my roommate in person for stuff and brushing aside my offer. I'm sure it's not like that, but... I'm lonely.

My roommate will occasionally play a board game with me, but in the evenings he's more inclined to watch a movie. I like watching movies on occasion, but...

Brought three board games back from my last trip home. Bought another one a couple weeks back. Feels like I've been overly optimistic. Feel that way every time I open grindr too.

Do I just go back home after this? Been telling people who asked I wasn't sure. There's something nice about being out here. And much as I complain about my current job, I don't want to have to try and find another one. But I'm nearly 20 months in. And I'm fucking lonely.

I need more people who message me first. Who hit me up to chat before I message them. Who ask if I want to hang out before I have to ask them. Mentally, I'm better than I was ten years ago, even five years ago, but there's still a little voice ready to enumerate all my faults and mistakes and to tell me I'm not wanted. If I'm always the one who has to make the plans, to remind people I exist and want to see them...

I take all my breaks at work alone now. The other coworkers I used to go on break with have left. The one that's still here... well, at first I might have said it was because they were on us to follow the break schedule. But she takes all her breaks with her other friend now, despite his break being scheduled later than mine. Even when we were down to just the three of us, she took break with him and asked our supervisor to get someone to cover while they went, whereas before she got annoyed with people taking breaks in a way that didn't provide coverage.

Yeah, I can give people a smile or a laugh or some fries, but do they actually want to hang out with me? Rationally, I know they do, but tonight's a bad night, and I'm lonely.

And how do I tell people that part of me feels unwanted because people don't message first without it sounding like a guilt trip? I've been guilted before, and it feels awful. I don't want people to feel guilty, and I definitely don't want them to feel like they have to reach out to me as an obligation. Just want... I dunno, assurance that I'm not just there, not just a warm body to fill a place.

I'm lonely.

[berryblu-soda]

Punching siblings reeeeal good then turning back time so nothing actually happened should be an option

[overelegantstranger]

it's like, at the weekend Book was unpacking their belongings and i was just frozen for like a half hour, shaking and upset, and i had to go and sit in the empty bath in the dark for an hour just to calm down a little bit and unlock myself

and it's like, clearly this is a deep big trauma that was triggered. and the tenor of how my insides reacted suggested it was maybe a childhood one. but do i remember enough to figure out a cause and decide how to help myself heal? NO I FUCKING DO NOT