#Mianmian is having Thoughts

[cross-d-a]

too tired to write too tired to read but I’m nOT too tired to daydream about a new fic au..,,,,,..,.

[lgbtlunaverse]

I feel like too often people frame Nie Mingjue's issues as ignorance borne from safety. Like, they think that because of his privilege as a sect leader he doesn't know what it's like to be in danger and forced to make hard choices to survive. And I disagree. Strongly.

First of all, Nie Mingjue is very familiar with death not only from war but from. You know. Actively dying since the age of fourteen. Let us not forget Nie Mingjue is dead! Super dead! And maybe he didn't die the exact way he expected to but he did, absolutely, know he was going to die. To act like Nie Mingjue is unfamiliar with the scenario of "do something you find morally reprehensible or die" is to ignore that he has been living that exact scenario and chose death.

Nie Mingjue knows death is a risk for someone like Jin guangyao, in fact he explicitly acknowledges it even in his worst moments like the stairs in chapter 49. Had his issue been ignorance, then he would've responded to Jin Guangyao saying that he's in danger and has to sacrifice others for his own safety with "No you aren't you'll be fine." But he doesn't. He accepts the fact that jgy is in danger with no qualms and says: then you should die.

That's not him betraying his values, those are his values. He is, essentially, pro-suicide. Jgy is like hey I have a moral dilemma what should I do and nmj straight up goes "Kill yourself" and earlier that same chapter when he was faced with a moral dilemma he went "I'm gonna kill myself." He believes the solution to moral dilemmas is suicide! He is extremely consistent about this! When it's pointed out to him that it would have been dangerous for Wen Qing to oppose Wen Ruohan it doesn't phase him because he thinks putting yourself at risk to do the right thing is the only moral choice. The idea that he can only hold this belief because he is himself somehow not in danger, again, requires you to ignore that he is dying the whole time. And it doesn't deter him. He is the idea of self-sacrifice as a moral good taken to its absolute logical extreme. Someone who is ready to die and demands the same from everyone else.

It makes him a very fun case study for fandom, because a lot of fandom spaces also tend to revere self-sacrifice as the ultimate good, and yet we get very uncomfortable when someone starts demanding it of characters we love. Like woah, hold on, that's a bit too far isn't it? Only we the audience get to do that!

[yudidoodles]

Sooooo I may have made an entire animatic in 3 days,,, I haven't done art in forever so apparently I needed 78 drawings all in a row

I'm editing it to post later (prolly in a couple days), but in the meantime the little thumbnail designs are so goofy I wanted to share themb

[dual-domination]

@tazzy-ace Now imagine if Gui Mian had the chance to meet *our* Cheng Xinyan. Shen Wei's protective best friend. Shen Wei's protective older sister, actually (she doesn't accept less).

Gui Mian, powerful ancient entity, indifferent to the affairs of mortals, would finally understand the statement "I have 1 fear"

[coresurgery]

after some thought I've decided that the mdzs "contractually obligated f/f ship with no canon backing bc women aren't allowed to talk to each other" that I'm most into is jiang yanli/mianmian

I guess it's cheating a bit because I think jiang yanli/jin zixuan/mianmian could also be a REALLY interesting throuple, and wwx is so oblivious that it could technically be canon too lmao

[theredcuyo]

I think that the huge need we all have for a pov from Binghe, Lan Zhan and Hua Cheng comes from us ALWAYS having to deduce what they're thinking

Like yeah you can deduce it based on retrospective, but you don't get to be sure at the moment

Yes, Binghe was living a shojo during his disciple years but there's knowing that and there's seeing him think about it actually, along with things that Sqq ignores about himself

Yes, we have a peek into the five years while Sqq was dead, but i still wonder how many things he really did in that time, how many false leads for a "cure" did he follow? How many grief filled fights he took?

Yes, Lan Zhan was head over heels since they met but didn't quite come to terms with it soon, maybe he was a bit more clear on it since the cave at least, but i still want to know what was going on in his mind when he played Wangxian for Wwx, when the idiot asked if he had a crush on MianMian

What went trhu his mind when he heard the song out of nowhere-

Yes, obviously Hua Cheng is the biggest simp to ever simp for Xie Lian, and the man is down so bad it's a wonder he can stand up, but i want to know what he thought when the first time he sees Xie Lian in 800 years is the man dressed as a fucking bride

When he proposed and then TOOK IT BACK WITHOUT LETTING XIE LIAN ANSWER

[khattikeri]

one of my favorite things about mdzs is that for how heavily its plot involves politics of classism and misogyny... even the characters most directly impacted by it can't and don't free themselves from it. literally the closest exception is mianmian.

meng yao being the "son of a whore" wasn't some sort of commie awakening for him that led him to wanting everyone to be socially equal. he played the political game, climbed the ladders, sucked up to and backstabbed and murdered people, including other prostitutes who actually had nothing to do with how he and his mother were treated at the brothel he grew up in.

he put in so much extra excessive effort for even a fraction of the same respect that members of gentry cultivation clans got. and he did deserve to be treated more humanely! but he feeds into the exact same system that created him, leading to his own undoing.

his efforts were for a fragile upward mobility that was never going to hold up. he never surpassed his origins nor did he empower others in similar stations, because the society he lives in is not one that would accept that.

the second he got caught and all those crimes exposed, he was scapegoated to hell and back, replacing wei wuxian as society's terrible one-sidedly evil boogeyman overnight.

speaking of not-quite male gentry, i think it's interesting that wei wuxian explicitly doesn't try to climb the ladders in BOTH lives, knowing full well that anything he does will be punished just for the sheer fact that he is wei wuxian.

wei wuxian is scolded for giving intelligent and correct answers in school. lan wangji does the same and is praised.

wei wuxian occasionally lounges around with fellow disciples and is punished. jiang cheng does the same and mostly escapes.

wei wuxian refuses to carry his sword around in public (after losing his golden core, which nobody knows) and is scorned as an arrogant upstart. nie huaisang has been doing the EXACT SAME THING for YEARS and nobody bats an eye.

unlike jin guangyao, wei wuxian knew subconsciously from the start that his acceptance was superficial and that he could be cast out any time. when he was 10 and recently taken in by the jiangs, he canonically would not eat or use "too much" food and water because he thought they'd find him a nuisance for "wasting their things" and kick him back out.

now away from just the classism, yu ziyuan is a proud and strong noblewoman in a society that belittles and derides women for everything they do. her strong cultivation doesn't matter. she's victim to the vicious rumors of her husband loving another woman who is strong like her but apparently had a more likeable personality.

it doesn't matter even if jiang fengmian didn't cheat or that wei wuxian is wei changze's son with cangse sanren; yu ziyuan can't bear with the humiliation of herself (and by extension her children) not being "good enough". she's ridiculed for "failing" in that one duty as a wife, mother, and woman.

she lashes out and takes out that anger on everyone present for years, giving her children lasting trauma and also being a key element in how the jiang family and yunmeng jiang sect are effectively wiped out at the hands of the wen clan.

madam jin doesn't even have a name outside of the fact that she's married to jin guangshan. i don't even remember reading anything that indicates if she's a strong or weak cultivator, or what, which in itself proves that to most people, it doesn't matter. she's "just" a woman.

of course she's angry at her husband's affairs and all the bastard children they bring in. but she also can't do anything about them, so she lashes out at the few people she can: servants. non-cultivators, probably. those very same bastard children.

shoutout to meng yao getting shoved down a flight of stairs at age fourteen, because if madam jin tried that move against her husband instead, it would make her lose even more face, which as a noblewoman she'd never do.

and that's not getting into how jiang yanli is consistently sidelined for being physically weak.

that's not getting into how mianmian was actually a good cultivator, but was mocked by everyone around her for trying to stand up for wei wuxian when everyone was turning on him. how everyone scoffed at luo qingyang's words as "just some lovesick woman" who "obviously wants to marry or bed him since he saved her".

luo qingyang is the only one of these characters who HASN'T died. she didn't play society's games like jin guangyao. she didn't dig her heels in confidence of her own abilities like wei wuxian.

she didn't bitterly lash out like yu ziyuan and madam jin. she didn't gently accept it like jiang yanli.

she just LEFT.

she married an ordinary merchant and cultivates separately from mainstream cultivation society, and therein found her own peace and happiness.

mxtx doesn't bother with particularly class conscious or feminist vocabulary to hand-hold readers into understanding these disparities, but that choice highlights them & the deeply entrenched politics of their society even more. i really love it.

[allpiesforourown]

My random confession for scum villian is that I thought women would be more prevalent. Then uh I also thought devil venerable would have less women.

I just love women.

I LOOOVE the women in devil venerable also I think baili Qingmiao and Qiu Congxue should fuck like crazy

And dont get me wrong... I love mxtx from the bottom of my heart but oh my God the women in her novels are criminally irrelevant 😭 it was so painful to read mdzs after svsss because like

Mxtx writing men: this is shen jiu, he abuses an orphan because he has a hidden past full of trauma and slavery and seeing young children with the opportunity to learn and cultivate themselves is a slap in the face to someone who lost his potential due to circumstances outside his control and he's so full of rage he can only repeat the cycle of abuse

Mxtx writing women: this is madame yu she abuses an orphan because she's jealous her husband likes his dead mother more than her

This isn't even going into the fact that Mianmian is the only female character in mdzs that doesn't die and the only reason we know she's alive is because we see her for like two pages in the extras

Mxtx... Ma'am... I love you but please.. its painful watching you write men so perplex and full of depth and then get one dimensional women 😭

[withthewindinherfootsteps]

For all the very self-sacrificial Wei Wuxian takes out there, I think they may actually fit Lan Wangji more?

…Before you disagree, there’s a big caveat to this – I don’t think these takes fit either of them well. But it’s interesting to compare their default responses to situations. Both want to help others – but whereas Wei Wuxian’s first instinct is to redirect (redirecting attacks to other targets, redirecting enemies’ attention to distract them, etc), Lan Wangji is much more direct in his protection*. And generally, that’s going to lead to putting yourself in harm’s way more often.

My favourite scene to demonstrate this is when Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji (alongside Jin Zixuan) are protecting Mianmian in the Xuanwu cave. Wei Wuxian does this by redirecting Wen Chao’s attention to him, provoking him and causing him to step out of Wen Zhuliu’s range of protection. Meanwhile, Lan Wangji stands in front of her, blocking her from danger directly… despite being at a disadvantage and already injured!

Wen Chao was enraged, shouting, “How dare you! Kill them!” A few of the Wen Sect’s disciples unsheathed their swords, rushing toward Lan WangJi and Jin ZiXuan (...) the two boys were at a loss in terms of both weaponry and sheer numbers. Even more, after the past days of being constantly on the move, they were in quite a bad state, not to mention that Lan WangJi had been injured. They definitely wouldn’t be able to last long. Chapter 52, EXR translation

This is a scenario with high stakes (Mianmian’s life), but also with multiple solutions, meaning that their choices aren’t muddied by there only being one option. Yet we still see Lan Wangji directly defend – despite the fact that, if Wei Wuxian hadn’t intervened, he almost certainly would have died! And that’s true of another moment in the Xuanwu cave I never hear anyone talk about:

Before Wei WuXian could think of what to do next, his body tilted as somebody shoved him to the side. Lan WangJi had pushed him out of the way. With this opportunity, the jaws of the beast had closed, biting down on his leg. Wei WuXian’s right leg hurt from simply watching the scene. Lan WangJi’s face was still expressionless. He had only frowned slightly. Afterward, he was immediately dragged away! (...) Lan WangJi didn’t expect that [Wei Wuxian] could catch up even under such circumstances. He was utterly shocked. Chapter 53, EXR translation

Admittedly, this is a scenario with more limited options, which is why I mentioned Mianmian first. But his reaction stays consistent – directly blocking somebody from a threat with his own body. And again, he didn’t think Wei Wuxian could do anything to rescue him! He does not expect to survive, and we just… don’t talk about this???

(And note that when Wei Wuxian rescues him, he actually puts himself in less danger! Again, this is mainly due to the limited solutions – you can’t rescue someone who’s already bitten down on by blocking the mouth from biting down on them – but he’s still in a position where he does have the option to get out of the situation if he chooses (he’s not between the teeth! His hands are opening the teeth from the outside, his feet are on its shell, he can jump into the water at any time and does after Lan Wangji is safe. There is danger of the Xuanwu choosing to attack him, but his position on its own doesn’t put him in mortal peril, which is not the case for Lan Wangji here). So though it doesn’t give us that much insight into how he prefers to deal with situations, the dynamic is still interesting to consider with regard to how fanon!WWX is often treated.)

Now, maybe these examples are unfair. Maybe Lan Wangji here was very tired (he was), stressed (he was) and not thinking straight, and so he just didn’t think of other options that he would’ve chosen in normal circumstances. If that’s the case, it still supports my point – no matter his eventual course of action, his first thought/instinct is still to obstruct directly – but this isn’t just a pattern limited to this arc, and to such high-stakes situations. For example, look at his reaction when the Wens order the Lans to burn the Cloud Recesses (and though I’d be very surprised if Lan Wangji wasn’t stressed here too, he’s at least less tired).

Wei WuXian, “Is Lan Zhan’s leg related to this?” The disciple, “Of course. The first place that Wen Xu ordered them to burn down was the Library Pavilion. He declared that he’ll teach anyone who wasn’t willing to do it a lesson. Lan WangJi refused. He was attacked by Wen Xu’s people and they broke one of his legs.” - Chapter 52, EXR translation

I say this is low-stakes because actions won’t actually have that much of an impact – though there is danger, the Cloud Recesses are going to be burned down no matter what, so it’s not something you’re risking by not acting to prevent it. Yet Lan Wangji still chooses to directly oppose, to directly protect the pavilion as much as he can (even if that’s very little, and even if I do think the main factor here was actually his refusal to go against his principles and burn down the Cloud Recesses, not him trying to protect them. But that still leads to the same course of action: to act very directly). And again, that results in direct bodily harm to him**! 

But even in situations where he’s not stressed or under any pressure, we still see that direct protection is his default. Just look at the way he acts towards Wei Wuxian in the present day. One of his very first actions towards him (and pretty much the very first after finding out his identity!) is to block Jiang Cheng from hurting ‘Mo Xuanyu’ with Zidian – to quote EXR, “[Wei Wuxian] hadn’t been hit by the whip yet only because Lan WangJi acted as a barricade in front of him.” – and after that we often see him protecting Wei Wuxian from dogs, we see him let Wei Wuxian stand behind him when Jiang Cheng is angry at the Golden Core reveal (Chapter 102), we even see him protecting Wei Wuxian from things they both know he can face (Su She):

On the other hand, Lan WangJi gripped Bichen in one hand as he grabbed Wei WuXian’s waist with his other, pushing Wei WuXian behind him for better protection. In reality, Wei WuXian had no need for his protection, but he still leaned against his body with both comfort and compliance. Chapter 104, EXR

None of this leads to any harm of either of them, but it still holds true to the pattern of Lan Wangji protecting by physically putting himself between what he’s defending, and harm’s way. This response of his is extremely consistent! And it’s not just towards Wei Wuxian either – there’s a tiny moment in the Lotus Seed Pod extra which you could argue fits this pattern, where Lan Wangji chooses to physically hold the heavy roof of an abandoned shed to block the rain from reaching an injured man and a few other people, rather than trying something like using wood from the shed (including the four pieces of unattached wood propping the shed up) to build a temporary shelter for them until help arrives. The circumstances and therefore actions are slightly different, but the process leading to them is still the same – Lan Wangji still acts in the most direct way he can to protect the people from the rain, which does involve exerting himself even in a situation where there would probably be other ways to solve it (even if his Lan arm strength means he can hold the roof up without a problem). It’s not a deliberate choice to do whatever puts him in harm’s way the most, but directly using himself to protect people, whatever form that takes, is his main and default course of action.

The final thing I want to mention is that even Lan Wangji’s ‘big reveal’ moment – him being the one to take Wei Wuxian away from Nightless City, fighting 33 elders to protect him – calls back to this trait as well (MDZS is so well put together)! Once more, Lan Wangji is directly protecting, risking and suffering serious bodily harm as a result. Recovering took a few years!

…And yet. I never see anybody thinking Lan Wangji is self-sacrificial. I’d argue they’re right – but why? Why, when he puts himself in harm’s way more than Wei Wuxian does?

Maybe it’s because of something like this: ‘but he does this because he loves Wei Wuxian and doesn’t want to see him hurt, and protecting others is just part of his morals! It doesn’t point to any issue within him, he does have a stable sense of self and self-worth – at least there isn’t anything pointing to the opposite’.

Which, again, I’d argue is right.

But… does that really not apply to Wei Wuxian, too?

---

*And there are moments where they don’t act like this, especially for Wei Wuxian, but that’s generally in situations where there aren’t any other options which still lead to them accomplishing their goals. Protecting the Wens by… redirecting the Jianghu’s hatred towards other people? How would he do that? How would that help anything??

**It’s quite interesting to think of how Wei Wuxian would act in these situations, actually – both being forced to burn down the Cloud Recesses (or Lotus Pier, in this case), and in preventing (in this case) Lan Wangji from being eaten by a Xuanwu rushing towards him. The first, I’m not actually sure what exactly he would do (especially as nothing he can do will stop the burning) – I’m not sure he’d just go along with it, but I don’t see him just refusing to despite that not doing anything, either (especially since if he’s unharmed, he’ll be more able to protect his shidi and shimei if they’re in danger, since he’s a much more skilled cultivator/fighter than they are), at least not in the same way. Hearing people’s thoughts on that would be really interesting, actually!

As for the second – if there’s really no time to change anything about the head or its direction, he would probably do the same (with the only other option being letting Lan Wangji die). But if there was the smallest room to change something, I could definitely see him activating another fire talisman (to distract the Xuanwu and redirect its attention to the pillar of flame instead of Lan Wangji, even if just for a moment). And even if self sacrifice really needed to be an option, with no way out beside it, I think Wei Wuxian’s would take the form of redirecting the Xuanwu’s head towards him rather than directly blocking it from reaching Lan Wangji. When he does put himself in danger in canon, this is usually how he does it (see: him redirecting the corpses towards himself during the Second Siege, while Lan Wangji is protecting him and blocking them from reaching him… another nice example of their situational response!).

I do plan on writing a separate meta about Wei Wuxian’s tendency to redirect, though, so some of these points may be reiterated there.

[annalacerda17]

Fandom in general is too quick to label characters as having a Savior Complex or being Self-Sacrificing without taking into account the context surrounding the characters actions. This bothers me because those labels are often used to accuse characters of being reckless and thoughtless or depressive and suicidal as if those were the only possible motivations for a character to take a risk for other.

In the MDZS fandom I've seen those labels being applied to Wei Wuxian - incorrectly - in order to diminish the weight of his choices.

Wei Wuxian wasn't Self-Sacrificing. Not anymore that his job required him to be. He wasn't someone who went around in search of a heroic death. But as a Cultivator it was his responsibility to protect people - we can compare a Cultivator to a firefighter: saving people is part of their job, and that comes with a risk, but nobody thinks firefighters are just recklessly throwing themselves at danger for nothing, or that they are stupid for not ignoring that burning building.

Cultivators are supposed to protect people from the supernatural and that's a risky job. But Wei Wuxian isn't reckless. He's actually quite thoughtful and very strategic in his approach to any adversary. He's also an excellent teacher because of his patience and analytical skills - he's the opposite of reckless, really.

One of the plot points I see people use to accuse him of being reckless and self-sacrificing is the XuanWu cave debacle. The thing is, Wei Wuxian wasn't being reckless then. He bid his time, waited to see what Wen Chao would do first. He defended MianMian not out of some sort of self-sacrificing reaction, but because his morals compelled him to do so, and he wasn't the only one. Remember, a Cultivator is supposed to follow a strict moral code. When an innocent person, MianMian, was being attacked in front of them they were supposed to help her. For those who didn't, it was a moral failing.

But more than that, Wen Chao's plan to summon the XuanWu of Slaughter was utterly stupid and was bound to get them all killed. Wen Chao was absolutely not competent enough to kill the XuanWu of Slaughter himself, and when the situation inevitably got out of control Wen Chao's cronies would still whisk him away to safety and let the hostages there to die. Wei Wuxian's choice to confront Wen Chao then wasn't reckless, it was borne from a lack of better options and knowing if they didn't make a stand then and there they would all die. It's one of those situations in which none of the options available are ideal, and you just have to choose the least worse option. Between dying without resisting and fighting for a small chance of survival, Wei Wuxian chose to fight because he wasn't stupid or suicidal, and unlike the vast majority of people in the Cultivation World, Wei Wuxian actually lived up to the moral ideal.

Another plot point I see brought up again and again against Wei Wuxian is his use of "demonic cultivation". First off, the cultivation path Wei Wuxian invented and used wasn't demonic, it was the ghost path, and that's different. Demonic cultivation implicates the use of living humans and Wei Wuxian didn't do that. He used the resentment of ghosts, and he was repeatedly shown to be very kind and compassionate toward those ghosts, but he never used humans. The only character in MDZS that practiced demonic cultivation was Xue Yang, who created living corpses.

Moreover, Wei Wuxian didn't just choose to go for a walk in the burial mounds, he was thrown there to die by Wen Chao. He invented the ghost path because of necessity and it's a testament to his strong will to survive. Personally, I've never understood people who think Wei Wuxian creating the ghost path was self destructive. Dying is easy. If he had been self-destructive, he wouldn't have made it out of the burial mounds alive. Wei Wuxian was kind and compassionate and a genius and he had a strong will to live, so he created a new path of cultivation that could get him out alive and that would allow him to keep fighting, because it was war and they were losing, and if the Wens won it would be catastrophic for the world.

After the war, Wei Wuxian chose to stand up for the Wen Remnants, and that choice wasn't reckless, it wasn't self-sacrificing and it wasn't self-destructive. The Wen Remnants represent the great moral debate in the story: what was happening to them was genocide, and doing nothing meant being complicit in it. The persecution and extermination of the Wen Remnants was the culmination of the moral corruption of that society.

Wei Wuxian's choice to stand up for the Wen Remnants wasn't reckless. He understood the consequences and made a choice with a clear head. He knew from the beginning that they were all living on borrowed time. He certainly hoped at some points that maybe some sort of more permanent truce could be worked out with the sects, but he was always aware that the chances of that were slim. His choice to protect the Wen Remnants wasn't borne out of some sort of self-sacrificing ideal either. He didn't want to die and sacrificing his life was never his go-to response to any situation. He died after having tried everything else, after being pushed into a dead end by the entire world and resisting for around two years, which is two years more than most people would be able to resist for.

His choice to protect the Wen Remnants was a matter of morality. Wei Wuxian saw a genocide happening in front of him and his conscience wouldn't allow him to walk away. That's what Wei Wuxian means when he says to Lan Wangji, during Lan Wangji's visit to Yiling:

“But, let the self judge the right and the wrong, let others decide to praise or to blame, let gains and losses remain uncommented on. I, too, know what I should and shouldn’t do.”

Wei Wuxian chose to protect the Wens because while that might cost his life, choosing otherwise would cost him everything he was as a person.

MDZS is a story about society's failings and the extermination of the Wen Remnants is the great symbol of societal corruption: they fought a war to defeat a monster, only to turn around and become the next monsters themselves. In this sense, only the outliers of society could retain their pure hearts - Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji (who was in equal parts praised and superficially respected for his morals, as well as considered too rigid for it - Lan Wangji is respected as a member of the aristocracy and as an ideal role model, but when the same morals he's praised for get in the way of sect interests he's criticized for it), there's MianMian, Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan, a-Qing too, despite her not being a cultivator. All of those highly ideal characters exist apart from society.

Yet another plot point that's often wrongly used to paint Wei Wuxian as reckless is the ambush on Qiongqi pass, where Jin Zixuan died. The thing is, it was an ambush. He didn't have a chance to plan for it. Jin Zixun had 300 archers constantly attacking Wei Wuxian. It's already quite commendable that he was able to survive, asking for great planning in this kind of situation in ridiculous and beyond what's humanly achievable.

Moreover, despite all that, Wei Wuxian still had the presence of mind to explain the situation to Jin Zixuan and warn him not to get close or else he might die. And what did Jin Zixuan do? He asked the guy being attacked to stop defending himself instead of forcing his stupid cousin to stop attacking, then proceeded to ignore Wei Wuxian's warning and got close, then died as he'd been warned would happen. In this situation, Jin Zixuan was the one who showed an appalling lack of awareness of the situation, poor tactical skill, lack of leadership skills, poor diplomacy, and reckless behavior, not Wei Wuxian.

As for the battle of Nightless City, it was an extenuating circumstance, because Wei Wuxian wasn't sound of mind at this point. He was grieving and angry and had been targeted repeatedly for over two years by then, he'd been a victim of systemic oppression and had watched friends die. Not to mention that all of it started almost immediately after a three year long war in which he'd been a frontline soldier. He wasn't alright. And yet, he wasn't the one who started the fight. He showed up there and vented verbally at the people who'd just murdered his friends, the people responsible for s genocide, the people who'd been oppressing them for over two years, and yet Wei Wuxian only used violence after being attacked first. At this point, I think he had the right to respond with full power.

But the point here is that Wei Wuxian was pushed to this place step by step. He did everything right, he chose as best as he could, but society just wouldn't give him any other option.

I guess my point with this rant is to show that labels like self-sacrificing, reckless etc. often dismiss the context in which the characters are making their choices. Sometimes there isn't an option in which everyone gets to be safe and happy, and sometimes every single choice available will pose a great risk to life, sometimes every available option the circumstances afford the characters will end with someone they care about dying. And yet, they have to choose anyway, because the world won't stop until the stars align and all the problems disappear. No matter how fucked up the circumstances are, choices still have to be made, even if it hurts.

[jiangwanyinscatmom]

Saw someone's horrible take about jgy being a better foil to lwj than wwx is, and their evidence was that "Lwj never tried to help wwx before his death and lwj only started to become righteous after he lost everything etc and how this is when he realised his sects teaching were harmful blah blah

I just need your opinion on this cause like, you know how to call this stuff out when you see it.

Hello, anon, there is no foil between these two.

1: Lan Wangji did try to help Wei Wuxian when he spoke up for him, along with Mianmian, as Jin Guangyao kept trying to make up lies, in front of them all, that Wei Wuxian had insulted Jiang Cheng and had seen him as an incompetent leader.

2: "Only started to become righteous after Wei Wuxian died". False, he earned his moniker from the general public, not the jianghu during his stint of the war. He was already beloved amongst the people for being fair and righteous. And at the age of sixteen, is helping civilians in Yunmeng of his own volition. The only time he reflected on Wei Wuxian (and he may be wrong on him) was when he remembered being told to try Lotus Pod seeds during that time.

3: Tied to the above, he never thought his clan's ideals were wrong. He always believed in his clan's ideals, and is one of the only of his clan to ubhold them. If he didn't trust in their potential, he would have no reason to stay, as that would be a lack of his own morals he learned from that very clan. He would not teach those younger on those same teachings if he thought they were wrong.

The only foil (And we even get told this in the very first few chapters) Lan Wangji has, is Jiang Cheng.

He had always thought that Jiang Cheng would be on his side, and Lan WangJi on the side opposite to him. He could never have imagined that things would turn out so differently.

To try to say otherwise is a deliberate misreading of what we are given.

[flowersdiceandlove]

Another idea based off of this post. mdzs this time. Nie Huaisang. Modern/College au. He invites a lot of people. Wei Wuxian decides to go bc Huaisang's his friend and it sounds like fun. He drags Jiang Cheng along with him cause he's so uptight and he thinks getting laid would help with that. Lan Wangji hears Wei Wuxian is going so he goes solely bc of that. He glares at anyone who tries to get close to him or get close to Wei Wuxian across the room. Wen Ning's there bc Wei Wuxian told him about it and invited him. He knows what the party's about and is a cute blushing mess about it all which just makes others want to dote on him more. He's very popular bc of this and has a group of at least 3 surrounding him at all times.

Wei Wuxian challenges people to Mario Cart. And then a bunch of other video games as well throughout the night. Bc Nie Huaisang is a social butterfly, he invites people from a lot of different majors. Wei Wuxian ends up getting into a heated discussion on physics with another science major (WWX's getting his doctorate in physics or maybe engineering. but he did skip a few grades) and pulls in some math majors and a chemistry major and a med student (not wen qing, she's not there, and not wen ning. wn's still busy getting dotted on) and some other STEM students. Probably turns into a debate about the plausibility of time travel and teleportation and what effect it would have on the human body. Wei Wuxian is for it and thinks they can achieve it safely if given the time and resources to figure it out. Some others think it's too out there to be achieved safely in their lifetimes and to suggest otherwise is ludicrous and not taking science seriously, treating it like some dumb science fiction novel. It's probably Su She he's fighting with... This is where the white sheet and the dry erase markers used for calculations and demonstrations comes in. They're all trying to prove their points and they garner a small crowd. They're pulling up academic papers on their phones and bringing out thick-ass books and textbooks for references. Some have even pulled out their computers and are taking notes bc this is good stuff.

Jiang Cheng is standing awkwardly in a corner until he gets pulled into a game of Mario Cart and becomes obsessed with crushing everyone else in races.

Nie Huaisang gets people asking about his birds so he starts talking about them and goes on and on telling people all about them and their facts(maybe some zoology majors?). Then it's different types of art majors and some history majors asking about his art collection...

Mianmian's there and she and Wei Wuxian talk about stupid stuff and throw popcorn at Jiang Cheng to distract him from Mario Cart. Lan Wangji seethes in the corner in jealousy, glaring. Wei Wuxian and Mianmian don't intend to have sex, they just get along. Lan Wangji doesn't know this.

At some point during the night, Wei Wuxian or Jiang Cheng notice that the absolutely delicious food set out tastes very familiar and then realize that it tastes just like Jiang Yanli's cooking. They descend on Nie Huaisang about it and he admits that Jiang Yanli cooked this stuff and that she always insists on doing so when she hears he's hosting this type of party. Seeing how distraught the brothers look at the thought of their sister even knowing about these types of parties and providing food for them, Nie Huaisang wisely decides to not tell them that Jiang Yanli used to come to them herself and that it was at such a party that she and Jin Zixuan worked things out and got together.

When Wei Wuxian first got there and saw Lan Wangji (who was early bc he didn't want to risk someone getting to Wei Wuxian before he got there to chase them off) he was shocked and his eyes went bug-eyed. He did not think Lan Wangji of all people would come to a party like this. Then, Lan Wangji just glares at him and anyone that comes near him and Wei Wuxian's wondering why he would even come to such an event if he's just gonna glare in disapproval and judgement at everyone. (he doesn't realize Lan Wangji's only glaring at him and people talking to/approaching him. Or see that Lan Wangji is looking at some of the sex items curiously. Or that he snatched a pair of handcuffs. And lube.) Lan Wangji follows Wei Wuxian around the party, sometimes staying on the other side of the room, sometimes Wei Wuxian calls him over to talk/tease him. He helped Wei Wuxian set up the white sheet on the glass door and got any books Wei Wuxian asked for during his debate.

When it gets a lot later, Lan Wangji is at his limit of Wei Wuxian's teasing and they fuck in the garden. It's an extravagant garden with hedges and marble benches and fountains and flower arches and even a little maze.

The next morning a lot of people have hangovers. Jiang Cheng has indents on the side of his face bc he fell asleep on/was snuggling the video game controller. Wangxian both fell asleep in the garden and have leave and twigs in their hair and dirt and grass on them (along with Wei Wuxian's numerous hickies and bite marks). Nie Huaisang comes downstairs in one of those silk robes with feathers/fuzz on the edges of the big sleeves and the bottom edge with glowing skin. more people come downstairs (there's a lot of bedrooms up there.) and one of them is Wen Ning who looks pleased in a more humble way than Nie Huaisang's strut along with a small gaggle of people who are exchanging numbers.

Jiang Yanli's in the kitchen making breakfast for everyone with. Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng tell her to go and that she shouldn't be seeing this sort of thing, and generally freaking out over her being here. There are still half-naked and fully naked people wandering around. And even a few people groping each other up for a morning round. She just smiles, pats their head, and tells them to sit down and eat breakfast. She also passes out hangover medicine to people who want it and glasses of water. Jin Zixuan is also there (came along with Jiang Yanli) to help clean up. He feels like he owes Nie Huaisang for helping them get their shit together. Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian yell at him a bit about letting their sister come to this place and to take her away before Jiang Yanli drags them back to breakfast saying she's sure they had an eventful night so they need a hearty breakfast. Wei Wuxian can't dispute that and just blushes deeply while Jiang Cheng sputters. He really only did play video games and boardgames all night. Once the food has all been set out at the large table in the Nie's grand dining room and she's made sure everyone has medicine and water or a blanket or anything else they need, she starts helping with the clean up while everyone eats. Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian start freaking out again over her handling the sex toys and stuff. She shoos them back to breakfast.

Before they all leave, Nie Huaisang hands Lan Wangji a large bag that he accepts with a nod of thanks. It's full of things he thought Lan Wangji would like. He's heard the stories about Lan Xichen organizing these parties (it's even who he learned it from) so wasn't at all surprised that the younger Lan would show up to such an event.

3zun stayed the night at Lan Xichen's apartment but then returned to the Nie home that morning. Most everyone had left (including wangxian and Jiang Cheng), but Jiang Yanli and Jin Zixuan are still there, helping with the clean up. 3zun and Jiang Yanli chat for a bit and reminisce about when they weren't in committed relationships and used to all be at these parties together. Jin Zixuan actually only went to the one that he got together with Jiang Yanli at. Jiang Yanli's slept with both Lan Xichen and Nie Mingjue. She and 3zun are all good friends now. The Older Sibling Bonding is strong with them. She also tells 3zun that it looks like wangxian have gotten together, and Xichen exclaims "Finally!" and they all nod in agreement.

It's not until a couple weeks later when people are going over the notes from the crazy and half-drunken debate between Wei Wuxian and Su She that they realize that Wei Wuxian might have actually had a scientific breakthrough at that party on the spacetime continuum theory and that with this work it may actually be possible to create teleportation. Within the next few decades. When Wei Wuxian eventually accepts his Nobel Prize on this work he thanks Nie Huaisang, his sex party, and the other people at that sex party (not all by name) for sparking the debate that led to his research and breakthroughs. His speech goes viral and he becomes known as "the sex party scientist" which he loves and won't stop laughing about. His husband is exasperated, but is happy he's happy.

the end!

If someone actually writes a fic of this, let me know cause I wanna read it.

[obsidianstrawberrymilk]

Finished the Donghua!! Thoughts:

Definitely preferred this version of the curse transfer lol, the added visions slash maybe flashbacks were quite fun!!

Man. I'm glad Jin Ling had Jiang Cheng to comfort him during the scenes in the cave and with Jin Guangyao?? Seeing him sobbing into Jiang Cheng's chest was like. Man.

I'm not a suuper big fan of the whole 'Sizhui is mature and capable and the other juniors are immature slash useless' thing especially with Jin Ling that I think the Donghua plays up a lot but eh

Also why the fuck did they just skip over the Yi City arc like that...

That shot of LXC staring at the rubble atop the coffin of his sworn brothers. Mmm. Tasty.

What the fuck was that ending though? Like, in the last episode Jin Ling is literally just silently following around Jiang Cheng, and then Jiang Cheng goes into fucking seclusion and they end with Jin Ling running away alone in tears?

Especially contrasted against the other three juniors united and happy? What the hell?

Also why the fuck was the Golden Core reveal made after the temple scene... what the fuck...

Jiang Cheng had. Very little presence in the last season especially and it bothered me. Also why did they like leave out the fact Jiang Cheng was captured to protect WWX

Also wh. In genera what was that ending. Why was JGY doing evil villain things like that. What.

Donghua!LWJ is definitely. A Lot nicer than novel slash manhua slash CQL LWJ. By a mile.

Much preferred CQL Mianmian to Donghua slash Manhua Mianmian lol...

I cannot fucking remember if the skull piercing needles in Qin Su's head in CQL and Manhua (have yet to read the novel) canon but I'm pretty sure it isn't and if so why would they take that tiny bit of agency she has away from her

Anyway in summary! Jin Ling needs the biggest hug on the fucking planet and if he hates everyone, juniors included, after this, I would NOT blame him

Designs were fun! I think overall I prefer the designs for the Wen siblings (not Ghost General!Wen Ning though) and Jiang Cheng from CQL and pretty much everyone else as a mix of the Donghua and Manhua lol. WWX's slutty ponytail is lovely. Jiang Cheng always serves cunt regardless of form though...

[wutheringskies]

List: Wei Ying's Attitude Towards Lan Zhan (Pt 1)

Cloud Recesses Arc (Chronological)

1. First Impression: Lan Zhan is very, very pretty with a stern expression on his face, as if he's in mourning. Learning of his reputation, learning that he's well-spoken, smart and academically an ace.

2. Their dynamic forms: Wei Wuxian is annoyed by how Lan Wangji treats him, how he appears to be an immovable polished piece of jade and wishes to break through his composure by annoying him - he wants to be treated specially.

3. Respecting Lan Zhan's talents and genuine desire for friendship: Learning that Lan Zhan's reputation isn't fake. Despite being so young, he can carry three people onto his sword, think logically, and help people. Secondly, Wei Wuxian respects his integrity as Lan Zhan punishes himself as well for breaking the rules, despite the gap in their status. He wishes to become closer to Lan Wangji as they share similar values.

4. The first tones of romance: Wei Wuxian has always been interested in seeing how Lan Wangji would be as a romantic partner, thus baiting him with porn and "girls in Yunmeng." As Wei Wuxian hangs out with his friends, he sees Lan Wangji alone and wants to give him friends as well - the kind that Lan Wangji will like - so, he gives him two rabbits, which were in a compromising position and turned out to be both male. Secondly, he is very interested in Lan An's story as this is a new context to be applied to Lan Wangji.

Pre-Sunshot Campaign

1. Lan Wangji as his maiden: Wei Wuxian unknowingly always puts Lan Wangji into the place of a "maiden" - what I mean by this is that, when the girls chase after him in Yunmeng, he sighs and thinks of Lan Wangji. When he sees Lan Wangji's forehead ribbons, he thinks of pulling a girl's ponytails and tugs it. Thus, he has moved on from baiting Lan Zhan with girls to see how he would be in a romantic context to placing Lan Zhan as the maiden in a heterosexual context.

2. Stage of Denial: As Wei Wuxian's feelings for Lan Wangji keep surging subconsciously, yet he keeps facing with one rejection after the other, a proud man as him enters the stage of denial. Here, he constantly lies to himself, gives excuses for his actions, hides his thoughts and reframes events - aka, he gaslights himself.

• We know he has been thinking of Lan Zhan well after studying in Gusu (he studied for 3 months, Jiang Cheng studied for a year. In the lotus pod extra he's still talking about Lan Zhan and it's a common occurrence, so at least until 9 months later, he's still talking about him) yet he says in Qishan Archery Competition that he has forgotten about him. Secondly, he says he doesn't recognize Lan Wangji, yet he mentions that his fingers look suited to playing the guqin, thus he already recognizes this handsome man and his emotions surge, yet he calms himself down by framing his thoughts to make himself seem less attached.

• This behavior continues throughout the Qishan Wen Indoctrination. He went to Mianmian's side to get the perfume pouch after he heard it had medicinal herbs, and Lan Zhan's leg was injured. Yet Lan Zhan gets jealous and refuses his help, Wei Wuxian later takes a jab at his broken leg when he's bejng supported by Jiang Cheng - upset that he was refused once more.

• At this point, 2 years after meeting Lan Zhan, Wei Wuxian is giving up on his thoughts of them becoming friends, even petulantly whining to Lan Zhan, that "why do you not like me???"

• He shoves all of his feelings down, and accepts that he needs to give Lan Zhan more space.

• Yet even after the Xuanwu Cave, we can see that though he wished to give Lan Zhan more space, he continued to ask questions after question about him to Jiang Cheng.

Sunshot Campaign

1. Takes a Hint: Now, Wei Wuxian is no longer a child. He has been through too many things, has too many responsibilities to worry about his "childhood ambition" of becoming friends with Lan Zhan. After his return, the first thing they do is have a fight - to Wei Wuxian's point of view, it is that, after each of his attempts to become closer have been squashed, now finally they're fighting - aka, they are on opposite sides. Thus, Lan Wangji suddenly turning 180 degrees back by wanting to take him back to Gusu registers as a "punishment." He simply can't even imagine a context where Lan Zhan likes him. Thus, this stage, I call - Wei Wuxian takes a hint (the wrong one.)

2. Confusion and Hurt: Wei Wuxian is already suffering through major identity crisis and plenty of trauma. In such a setting, he cannot evaluate Lan Wangjj's actions and arguments with him as "concern, care or worry." He cannot think of his opinions over digging graves etc as "righteous." Lan Wangji is "against him." Wei Wuxian suppresses his feelings well, and has moved on from wanting to be friends. Yet he does not agree with those who call them enemies - refusing to take Lan Zhan's behavior towards him as "hate."

Post-Sunshot Campaign

1. Hiding all his weaknesses: Now, Sunshot Campaign is over and Wei Wuxian is very aware that he's going to be hated by everyone sooner or later. He's scared and he doesn't know what to do, where he stands, and also regrets some of what he has done. He is without any backing, without any support - he covers up his vulnerability by standing up too tall, by talking arrogantly, by pretending that he's so strong - in his act, he doesn't notice Lan Zhan subtly moving towards him (metaphorically and literally), and walks past him, leaving him behind.

2. Shifting of Dynamic, Rekindling Hope and Extreme Fear and Vulnerability: Now that for the first time in years, that Wei Wuxian has time to breathe and momentarily, no immediate responsibilities or distractions his feeling surge again. He is still in denial about his feelings, but now the amount of gaslighting he does is truly remarkable. Firstly, he wished to place Lan Zhan in a romantic context (whether or not it included him), secondly he imagined Lan Zhan as a maiden for HIM, now thirdly, he is placing himself into the spot of "the maiden"

-> Throwing flowers at Lan Zhan along with other girls

-> Conveniently making the remark that of course, he doesn't imagine that Lan Zhan will ever take the initiative and kiss someone (aka, he wishes Lan Zhan will take initiative because he's put himself out there for so long, and he is tired.)

Now, Wei Wuxian's feelings towards Lan Zhan are very much real, the minor crush growing into something more - like a flower bud that wants to be watered to bloom. But since it isn't welcomed, he forces them back into his heart:

1. Admitting he finds Lan Zhan handsome - admitting some degree of physical attraction and admiration by throwing a flower at him.

2. Asking for his headband knowing it is somehow symbolic (something important to him, a privelege). Subconsciously playing Wangxian, and then finally getting kissed. For some reason, he FAILS to mention Lan Zhan's signature scent of sandalwood despite his senses being so keen. Why? In my opinion - it's him suppressing that thought. He knows the maiden is remarkably strong, he has an inkling that it is HIM so, he allows the kiss to go on, excusing it with the excuse that "how embarrassed the maiden will be once he sees her." After all, even when Lan Zhan asks him much later "you didn't know whom the person was so why didn't you resist, and then why did you tell me this?" Wei Wuxian doesn't answer him, but instead laughs at him for being jealous. In truth, I feel, this is another one of Wei Wuxian's deflections.

He knows admitting that he smelt the sandalwood would make it impossible for him to not relate to Lan Zhan. He knows only Lan Zhan was in the vicinity. He knows only Lan Zhan has showed any significant connection to him - someone like Wei Wuxian would definitely know if a girl liked him. But he can't read Lan Zhan. He also knows Lan Zhan is conveniently acting different than usual - yet, he doesn't probe too much, which is uncharacteristic of him. Not to mention, Lan Zhan is showing significant negative emotion towards him - asking him to go away. Wei Wuxian subtly sneaks in one of the doubts he's carried for three years now, "do you hate me?" But it's unanswered. Wei Wuxian is afraid and he's feeling self conscious again, eyes tearing up, so what does he do?

Act pretentious.

"Of course, I've a lot of experience. Even if it was you, it doesn't matter, haha. This isn't special to me. You aren't making me feel anything special. You aren't making me weak. You aren't hurting me."

After this, he is relieved. He has hid well. His feeling are hidden perfectly. To confirm, he even asks Lan Zhan og he's ever kissed, etc. Lan Zhan doesn't say yes or no, but Wei Wuxian has convinced himself that it wouldn't have been Lan Zhan. He makes up an imaginary maiden who kissed him. He says he never tried to find her to not embarass her. After he is sure it wasn't Lan Zhan, he is not interested in finding out who kissed him.

Successfully gaslighted □

The next incident is at Yunmeng, and it's by far the most obvious thing Wei Wuxian has done to show his feelings towards Lan Wangji. He casually admits that Lan Zhan is very handsome, and bestows plenty of flowers of all meanings upon him.

But the most important is the peony. Wei Wuxian reaches out towards Lan Wangji all the time. Each time, he's a bit more hurt, a bit more scared, a bit more vulnerable. So, this time, he's giving Lan Wangji and his surging feelings a chance - either Lan Wangji takes it and he allows his feelings to surge, or Lan Wangji doesn't take it and he swallows all his feelings back inside, rewrites the whole narrative and moves on with his life.

Thus, he throws out a flower that can either mean "a confession" or a separation.

He doesn't expect Lan Wangji to come up the inn. He expects it to be a separation. But he does come up - yet what follows is an argument, their last one. From Lan Wangji's point of view, it is also last time he asks Wei Wuxian to come to Gusu with him - to walk the same path moving forward, a last offer of protection. In a way both of them are confessing, yet they don't know.

When they part on dubious terms, Wei Wuxian doesn't know what to do - Lan Wangji DID come up, he did talk to him - that is not indifference or hate. It does not guarantee separation. Wei Wuxian just takes it as concern, without any confirmation from Lan Wangji himself.

Now, Wei Wuxian goes back to Lotus Pier in a dark mood. He says he met someone who wanted to lock him up - in a way, it must be addressed that Wei Wuxian's feelings are like chains for him. They don't liberate him. He needs to constantly suppress them. Jiang Cheng remarks it must have been Wei Wuxian who called out to Lan Wangji. Wei Wuxian comments that he himself is ridiculous. He is frustrated over his feelings, unable to understand why he is placing himself into a position like this, why he has hopes only for them to be crushed again and again, yet unable to actually realize anything as he hasn't admitted it all to himself yet. Later, they talk about Yanli and Zixuan, and Wei Wuxian finds himself the perfect cover to talk to his shijie. He asks why people like one another - why does he have to feel so scared and afraid and vulnerable - and tells himself he's asking on part of his shijie. He convinces himself that he won't ever like anyone that much, thus once again - suppressing his feelings.

Later, at Koi Tower, he drinks from Lan Wangji's cup, unable to see him be disrespected and presents his case to the banquet. He ends up having to threaten everyone. Wei Wuxian HAS to make himself into something he is not. He's unafraid. At least that is what he wants to think.

Wei Wuxian glanced over at him (Lan Wangji). In those eyes, light as cat’s eye chrysoberyl, he saw his own near-hideous reflection.

This is how he truly feels - not just about himself (my boy literally has to carry a fake persona and be so strong and so alone for YEARS) but also how he perceives Lan Wangji's attitude towards him, and it stings him, but luckily he has more things to do than worry about how Lan Zhan feels about him.

YiLing Laozu

1. A ray of hope, separation and acceptance: Few weeks in the Burial Mounds has matured Wei Wuxian. He is naturally someone who works better when there is a goal, when there are people depending onto him. He has made his decision to walk his chosen path to its bitter end. Far away from the public's eyes, with his fear of being hated and ostracized, realized, now it is like he has little to lose, so he tries to make the best of it. When Lan Zhan visits YiLing, Wei Wuxian doesn't throw any curveballs to him. He doesn't ask too much, doesn't hope for anything, doesn't play around. Just enjoys some company time with him. Even when Lan Zhan brings up their persistent issues and pushes back them into the sphere of reality, Wei Wuxian deflects and only then shows some of his frustration. Yet, when Lan Zhan leaves, he chases after him to bid him goodbye. He tells him of his chosen path, asks him to form his own opinions about things, shows some trust in his integrity. They eventually go their own ways, the mood sombre. This time Wei Wuxian accepts that they aren't meant to be friends, but does say that they aren't enemies. Just people meant to walk separate paths. Thus, his feelings are no longer useful to him. They can't lead towards anything. He accepts it.

2. Extreme, Extreme Hurt: Acceptance doesn't mean it does not hurt. Just how long has Wei Wuxian suppressed his feelings? Just how long has he swallowed every hurt, every rejection? Just how many times has he called out first? Just how many times had he waited? When Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji stand on different sides in Nightless City with their weapons pointed at each other, Wei Wuxian finally "terms" Lan Wangji's attitude towards him: I knew from the start that we would have a real fight like this one, sooner or later. You've always found me disagreeable, no matter what.

"Wei WuXian had already lost his judgement. He was already half-mad, half-unconscious. All evil was being augmented by him. He felt that everyone loathed him and he loathed everyone as well. He wouldn’t be scared no matter who came at him. It wouldn’t matter no matter who came at him. It was all the same anyway."

He'd been scared, vulnerable and weak for so long, masking it with a layer of arrogance and humor. Yet now he simply can't do it any longer and his fears spill out, the darker thoughts he'd suppressed. He's like a child crying, saying it won't matter whatever his feelings were, he'd hurt them all. He was done of being hurt and scared, of hiding, of being treated like the problem. Note, that he has always wanted to be Lan Wangji's friend, always stated that they weren't enemies even when everyone around him laughed at his audacity. Now, he is done harboring hopes. He is ready to spill out all those things he's been holding back, all the fears he held.

Yet later, Lan Wangji is the one who helps him, hides him away, talks to him softly. If any part of Wei Wuxian was conscious, he'd have felt utter and complete exhaustion. "Get lost." As in, he is done. He doesn't wish for Lan Wangji to owe anything to him. He doesn't wish to change his perspectives once again. He has lost all hope, all will. He doesn't want to deal with it anymore. He can't leave by himself, he can't pretend otherwise, he can't make excuses, he can't hide in the face of Lan Wangji's action - so he can only drive him away.

Conclusion

If Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji ever had a few years of peace after they hit the age of eighteen, they would've figured their feelings out. Yet, everytime something is about to come out of their relationship, Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji go through a major ordeal that pushes them back to base zero. In their first life, their relationship ends on a tragedy.

Lan Wangji's full-grown tree of his feelings doesn't get to provide Wei Ying with its shade, left forever alone until the tree eventually dies. Meanwhile, Wei Ying's sprouts never get the water it needs to grow spontaneously.

One can't fall in love as deeply as Wei Ying is with Lan Zhan after his revival in just three months. Thus, I hope this post made it easier to see just how deep his feelings ran. I will write a follow-up post about his attitude towards Lan Zhan in his second life!

Do let me know your thoughts as well.

[wangxianficfinder]

Fic Finder

June 10th

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1. Hiya, please help me find this fic! Lan Zhan is the king/emperor and has to choose a consort/empress. There is a bridal selection held and I know Mianmian was one of the candidates. They do a series of challenges and Lan Zhan basically tricks Wei Wuxian into completing them/qualifying. At one point, the candidates have to go through this maze, and Wei Wuxian gets 'kidnapped' and dumped in the maze and finds his way out really fast out into a hall where everyone is just like 'how the hell did he get in there and come out so fast?' and Lan Zhan uses that to show the council/elders that Wei Wuxian is a perfectly acceptable choice while WWX is just confused as always. Thank you! @iuocean

FOUND? The Imperial Jewel by Serinah (E, 39k, WangXian, Emperor and his concubine, Dubious Consent,bExtreme at first, gets better, A/B/O, omega wwx,bAlpha LWJ, Concubine WWX, Emperor LWJ, Oblivious Wwx, wwx's pov, Mutual Pining, Angst and Feels, Deviates From Canon, WWX has a golden core, but still practices dark arts, WWX exchanges his life for the Wens’, other differences, UST, S/D, undrenegotiated kink, Orgasm Denial, Multiple Orgasms,bOther kinks, WWX likes spanking, Smut and Feels, fucking while pining, noncon, for the beginning of the first scene, It Gets Better, starts smutty, gets plotty, ends lovely, Feels, Power Imbalance, Public Sex)

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2. Hi there! Im not sure if I have already asked this or if I dreamt it but I have been looking for one specific ff for almost three years now. It's on ao3 and the only plot points I remember were that it was a modern au, wangxian were friends, something happened to wwx and the decided to go on a little impulsive roadtrip (Iwj phoned his brother and said "I am eloping with wei ying" which was funny but he was so serious deep inside) and then they found out they have been in love all along and get together.

Another thing I remember is that the author put a lot of songs into the fic for the roadtrip and I have all the song names;

the brummies - lovers do

give my heart a little break - summer salt

I don't wanna be okay without you - charlie burg

honeymoon - the shadowboxers

You'd think with all the songs I could have found it by now but I can't seem to win. If you can find anything please please I will sell my firstborn :) that fic was comfort like you can't believe @mdzshemel

Hi, this fic is delicious! Thank you for the rec ✨ It is not the one I am looking for but it was such a near thing 🥹

NOT FOUND 🔒 and i think it's going to be a long, long time by belovedmuerto (T, 39k, WangXian, Road Trips, Modern, There Was Only One Bed, Slow Burn, Getting Together, Pining, Weddings, sibling relationships)

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3. hi, fic finder request! i know that it was a royalty au where lxc was the king and jgy was married to him, but from there my memory is vague... i seem to recall a scene (that may or may not have involved a mirror?) where jgy is using dark magic and eventually lxc and the rest of the lan family and kingdom find out the jgy is evil. jgy was using the dark magic to poison someone, either lxc or himself (?) TYSM for helping!!

FOUND? the lotus in between by whiteskyland (Not Rated, 22k, LXC/JC, LXC/JGY, WangXian, WIP, Angst, Whump, JC Needs a Hug, A/B/O, Alpha LXC, Omega JC, Alpha LWJ, Omega WWX, Arranged Marriage, Royalty, Hurt/Comfort, Omega JGY, JC Has No Golden Core)

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4. Hello! I'm I'm desperate to find a Wangxian fic with a Modern AU where JC wants to adopt a dog, and they recommend WWX to see a therapist or work at a veterinarian (I don't remember well) and that's where LWJ comes in. But supposedly he has a dark secret that he can't tell WWX, the thing is that I don't remember if it's a werewolf AU or something else like that. I honestly don't know if it's still on ao3, but I'll keep looking for it and I thought it was worth it to ask here if anyone remembers or knows this fic.

Maybe you'll have better luck that me, anyway thanks for listening to my ramblings!!!

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5. Hi! I’m looking for a fic that takes place in the cloud recesses era. When WWX is supposed to be punished, instead of copying the rules in the library, both WWX and LWJ teach the younger Lan disciples sword forms and fighting. During this time they bond and start a relationship.

I just remember a scene where they are putting away the wooden swords and they lock themselves in the shed (?) and start making out? (I think??).

Thanks! @estathom

FOUND! 💖 Magical Marriage Ribbons Series by starandrea (Varies, 1m, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Accidental Marriage, Fluff, Happy Ending, Telepathic bond, Kink Negotiation, Family Drama, Magical Pregnancy, Dual Cultivation, Shapeshifters, Modern with Magic, Immortality, Yilling Wei Sect, podfic) one of the magical marriage ribbon series, closer to the beginning // the second work

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6. I am looking for a canon-era fic where Wuxian was the son of Lan Qiren and Cangse Sanren. Neither Wuxian or Lan Qiren know this, as they both presume Wei Changze was Wuxian’s father. They learn the truth during the Cloud Recesses study arc when the class learns a talisman that writes out family trees. Qiren demands to take Wuxian from Lotus Pier and continue raising and teaching him in the Lan.

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7. hello! i'm trying to find a modern au wangxian fic where wwx is living with the wens and lwj is a performance artist coming to the (local) yiling gallery, and they meet again while lwj is doing his exhibition (he's like. running a booth where he just stares into the other person's eyes for like 10 minutes). it's on the shorter side - i want to say it's 3 chapters? @grillanarchy

FOUND! when you say nothing at all by sysrae (T, 5k, WangXian, Modern, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, artist LWJ, tattoo artist WWX, past angst, Getting Together, emotionally significant art installations, Soulmates)

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8. Hello.

I'm sorry for asking at the you are off. But it's been bugging my mind. I've read these fic before but i forgot the title and where i read it.

Do you know a fic its m/m where lan zhan and wei ying married and wei ying had a miscarriage so both of them go to somewhere and ended in a village. They lived in there for a while until wei ying got pregnant again and decided to go back to gusu?

And one fic where wei ying is pregnant and had been followed by the lan juniors while lan zhan gone to somewhere?

Please help me. @rottenapple116

FOUND! Sky, Cloud and Lotus by Xantya24 (M, 219k, WangXian, JC/LXC, LJY/LSZ/JL, WIP, Mpreg, A/B/O, Everyone Lives, Certain characters are dead as canon, Family Fluff, Angst, Sad with a Happy Ending, Miscarriage, Bullying, Graphic Description, Isolation, Dreams and Nightmares, Things can get fucked up)

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9. Hello! I'm searching for a fic where wei ying is actually the son of wen ruohan and cangse sanren. I only remember the part where wen ruohan visited lotus pier and saw wei ying being whipped to death by yu ziyuan and him being absolutely livid. I think wen xu was also there, he was really nice and showed wei ying the wen's market(?). thank you!!

FOUND? Scars of Lightning by The_peregrine_falcon (T, 6k, YZY & WWX, WWX & WRH, WangXian, YZY's A+ Parenting, Canon Divergence, Not Canon Compliant, Wen WWX, zidian, YZY is a bitch, Canon-Typical Violence, Blood and Injury, Major Character Injury, Heavy Angst, Lotus Pier, Nightless City, Young WWX, Muteness, Hurt kind of comfort) Though he's not WRH blood son but adopted son in it. WRH does see him get attacked by YZY though, somewhere in the middle of the fic

FOUND? The Littlest Sun by Kuroishuuha (T, 23k, WWX is a Wen, Wen Wuxian, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Alternate Universe, Good Parent WRH, Not YZY Friendly, Medical Inaccuracies, Family Fluff, Good Brother WX) It has WWX as WRH child and a shopping scene with WX.

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10. Hello I was suggested to seek help here to find fics that I have been trying to find for a really really long time. I hope you could help me with them.

A. The fic was set post canon where Lan Wangji seemed to have lost his memory of WWX and Wei Wuxian tries to help him get his memory back. This seems to be a common premise but what resonated me about the fic was that there was a use of a song to cure the memory loss and the song required lots of energy and thus Wei Wuxian had decided to play the song in parts and Wangxian navigate around eachother as LWJ slowly gets his memory back in snippets.

B. This one is set in post canon as well but this focuses much more on the relationship of Wei Wuxian with Lan Sizhui and Jin Ling. In this fic it seems that Wei Wuxian tends to favour Lan Sizhui above anyone else and thus Jin Ling gets jealous at this prospect. I don't remember many finer details of the story besides these.

10A)

FOUND! #10a sounds like "an effect (without a cause)" by astrobandit. It is no longer on Ao3. i have a pdf copy from the wayback machine if anyone needs it. ~the-marathon-continues-nip

10B)

FOUND! Not Yet (There As Needed) by sunrise_and_death (T, 13k, LSZ & WWX, JL & WWX, JL & LSZ, WangXian, Post-Canon, Family Feels, Family Bonding, POV LSZ, This Fic Has Everything, even more yearning, WWX & LSZ figuring out wtf their relationship is, Dramatic Revelations, JL being the contrary lil bean he is, all the juniors thinking WWX is the greatest thing to ever happen to them, and in case you missed it yearning)

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11. Hiiiii. Im looking for a fic where wei ying is either a tiger or wolf and he gets stuck in that form for awhile. I just remember he goes missing for awhile and lwj is looking for him - i think they are engaged or married then. Lwj finds him with sl and xxc. I think he gets stuck in that form after fighting wc or wzl or wx and he goes around trying to get a glimpse of someone in white or hes looking for lwj's scent?

Sorry its so vague 🙈 but thats all i remember

FOUND? 🔒 Unstoppable by Netrixie (T, 150k, WangXian, LXC & WWX, Canon Divergence, Eventual Happy Ending, Unreliable Narrator, Slow Burn, Minor Original Character(s), Cloud Recesses, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Canon-Typical Violence, Canon-Typical Angst, Wolf-shifter WWX, Resolved Sexual Tension, Resolved Romantic Tension, Fix-It, Werewolf, Shapeshifters, Sunshot Campaign, Translation Available, Russian, Canonical Lan arm strength)

FOUND? The Tiger has Destroyed his Cage by updatebug (G, 54k, WangXian, JFM/YZY, Shapeshifters, Fix-it fic, Most people live, and the ones who don't were aholes anyway, Animal Pelts, Tiger WWX, Found Family, adopted famil, yYungmeng Siblings, LWJ is very confused, You can tell from his face, Canon appropriate angst and violence, Gratuitous OCs, If canon will not give me women I will make them, Jiang Sect) For the sake of propriety, since it's been a while since I last read either Tiger vers or Beast of Gusu, imma drop The Tiger Has Destroyed Its Cage for 11 as well sincd Beast of Gusu is already recced, and OP technically mentions both (and I /think/ the one op wants is Tiger verse rather than Beast of Gusu)

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12. Hiii

Thank you so much for all your hard work 💜

Can you please find me a fic where Lan Zhan and Wei Ying meet in a game. I think Wei Ying's avatar and Wen Chao's avatar were married and then Wen Chao divorced Wei ying's character and lan zhan offers a marriage proposal.

Then they meet and gradually fall in love in real life too

I think Hualian comes up in the fic where Hua Cheng is the owner of the company which created the game .

🩵🩵🩵🩵

FOUND? Dreams of Cultivation by mortuus_lingua (M, 97k, WangXian, LXC/JC, SL/XXC, HC & XL, Gaming, Wuxia, Nonbinary Character, Queer Themes, LWJ Uses Actual Words, Nonbinary NHS, Nonbinary XXC, BAMF WQ, Modern, Date Rape Drug/Roofies, Oblivious WWX, Protective JC, Cinnamon Roll WN, Developing Relationship)

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13. Hii! Im currently looking for a fic on ao3, about wwx crossdressing and faking being lwj wife. I dont remember if it was post ressurection or not, and i think wen qing might have been involved in the lie? But i could be wrong. There were two moments that i remember, that when wwx tells the truth to Lan qiren he reveals he already knew and that wwx fakes fainting at some point to shame someone over a rude remark.

FOUND? My Leaves Reach Ever for the Sun by nonplussed (T, 26k, WangXian, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fix-It, Crossdressing, Idiots in Love, Sharing a Bed, Canon Divergence, Happy Ending, Mutual Pining, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies) if he's just pretending to have married LWJ

FOUND? The Amazing Adventures Of Jiang Xiaolian And Family by bumbledees (T, 71k, WangXian, JYL/JZX, JC/WN, Mild to Moderate Pining, lotus pier siblings quietly also have a penchant for chaos, WWX will make LQR like him whether the old man likes it or not, WWX just wants to have fun and not be killed and also to go to his sister's wedding, Mutual Pining, WWX is more stubborn than a boulder and twice as dense, Everybody Lives, nobody who matters anyways, except for WN, you're an angel and we're delighted you're here, WangXian canon is sad bitch let's get you some fun, "WWX fools the entire cultivation world", "and kicks up drama in front of their salad", testimonial from reader Vapid_Girl and a good summary of this fic, warnings for sexual harassment due to JGS, and for the canonical behavior of the jin clan ie war crimes, forced labor, human trafficking, etc., hello naughty jin cultivators it's revenge time :), jiang "rolling gay crisis" wanyin, wen "deserved better" qionglin, yunmeng bros feelings, copious use of bad language grace à JC, my oddball collection of headcanons concerning fierce corpses, WN has a playful streak, anyone friends with WWX has to have one on some level, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, extremely brief mention of something approaching a conversion camp but it's just two sentences, Happy Ending, Let JC Experience Happiness, WN is technically undead in this so uhhh warning for that, he's far more like a vampire than a zombie honestly, so JC gets his own YA supernatural romance novel basically, at least WN doesn't sparkle????, Crack Taken Mostly Seriously, like many of WWX's best ideas it starts as a joke!, purposeful baby aquisition, WWX when will you learn that there are consequences to your actions) if the marriage actually happens. // 100% sure that 13 is The Amazing Adventures of Jiang Xiaolian, I just finished reading that and it fits perfectly. // WWX pretends to faint in chapter 6 and LQR reveals he figured it out (and threw a teapot against the wall when he did so) in chapter 19.

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14. Hi! I'm looking for a fic that was funny I think, LWJ goes into the past, don't remember if it'd on purpose or not, it's the first night they meet, and instead of repeating the rules, he flirts with WWX and WWX can't handle it and I remember specifically LWJ thinking now I see why WWX teases, this is fun. And he says something along the lines of I won't tell anyone if you give me a kiss, and apparently LXC was there because they next day he says he didn't realize his brother was so smooth.

I've searched and searched (and got lost in new fics), if you guys are able to find it, that would be amazing!

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15. Thank you all for this glorious blog. I have a fic finder request. For a solid 3 months I have been trying to find it but alas. It's wangxian, f/f, on ao3. I think it's arranged marriage. Wangxian are married in any case but lwj isn't interested in anything but sex while wwx is very much in love with lwj. At some point, just as wwx starts thinking lwj might be softening toward her, she finds out that lwj is to have a concubine, Mianmian who lwj is old friends with. So wwx starts pulling away to give lwj opportunity to be with MM and is just very miserable.

I don't know for sure if wwx goes for a visit to Lotus Pier and that's where it happens or if she's holing up somewhere in Cloud Recesses, but Lwj goes to her and apologizes and they talk it through and there is a happy ending.

I BELIEVE it's 3 chapters but it could be 5. Anyway it's SO GOOD and I'm aching to reread it. @trulywicked

FOUND? Hello! For the Fic Finder posted on June 10th, #15 should be heliotrope by anonymous - it was deleted off ao3, but I was able to recover an epub from the ao3 archive in case anyone wants a copy. ~lilanko

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16. Hi, its my first time asking for a fic but i remember a jiang cheng centered fic which was about if jiang cheng found out bout the golden core transfer earlier. In that, wuxian doesnt die nor do the remanents and i was just wondering if you can find it because i cant remember what the name was. Thank you in advance^-^

FOUND? Rewrite the stars by Moonlit_dewdrops (T, 70k, JC & JYL & WWX, WangXian, JC/WQ, JYL & MM & WQ, Angst with a Happy Ending, Protective JC, yunmeng sibling love, Canon Divergence, Lives get saved, Yunmeng sibling bonding,bHurt/Comfort, Protective JYL, Golden Core Reveal, JYL & JZX Live, Fix-It, fuck JGS, JZN too, no one tolerating jin sect's bullshit, Found Family, JC GETS TO BE HAPPY AND IS MARRIED, JYL & WQ & MM GET TO BE SWORN SISTERS, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, just a bit, WWX has PTSD due to Burial Mounds, Very protective younger bro vibes, soft JC, Family Feels, Healing, Not Everyone Dies, Twin Prides of Yunmeng Feels, WWX will get a New Golden Core, justice for the wen remnants)

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17. Hii, absolutely love your page. Have come across such great fics here. I am actually looking a for a Wangxian fanfic which I think was CQL post-canon. I remember just this part where LWJ & WWX were going to get married and like just one day before their marriage (by the way all the guests and sects are there at Cloud Recesses), someone releases a dog/wolf yao or something similar and WWX gets like critically injured trying to project Sizhui. I remember really loving the fic but I can’t seem to find it anywhere:( Would really appreciate it if you could perhaps find it <3<3

FOUND? The Boy with the Sunshine Smile by Witch_Nova221 (T, 153k, WangXian, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Post-Canon, Romance, Domestic Fluff, Romantic Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, Parenthood, Growing Up) the injury+aftermath are chapters 22 & 23

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18. Looking for a fic where WWX made these like talisman things that stored memories are smth like that and then he dies and when he comes back his memories/past were shown to the cultivation world through those talismen and everyone is like “he’s a good guy!” and JC and LWJ tag along with WWX

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19. I'm looking for a wangxian fic :D I believe it was a characters-watching-their-series or watching-a-character's memories kind of fic, but where it was shown in songs. I specifically remember the characters watching married wangxian to the song Dandelions by Ruth B, and I think WWX's parents may have been there as well, so potentially there was a little bit of time magicky stuff too? Thank you for your help! @shieldherostuffs

FOUND? Mo Dao Zu Shi: The Musical by Loveable_Psychopath (Not Rated, 117k, WIP, WangXian, Time Travel, Fix-it, Song Fic, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Underage Drinking, Underage Smoking) The song is in the last chapter

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20. Hi! Can you help me find a fic? It's a (sort of) time travel fix-it where the Lans (LWJ and LQR are the ones i remember the most) are nice to WWX and it confuses him a lot. I remember a scene where WWX was asking about the "energy is energy" thing, expecting to get kicked out of the class by LQR, but he gets his answer calmly(?) and confused on why some of the Lans look like they're nostalgic from what he just said

FOUND? Cluster of Clouds by Nika_Raven_Celeste (T, 20k, WangXian, LWJ & WWX, LQR & WWX, JC & WWX, WIP, Time Travel, The Lans from Post Canon Time Traveled to Cloud Recesses Study Era, ALL The Lans from Post Canon, The Lans ADORES WWX, Confused WWX, Soft LQR, Soft LWJ , LWJ CAN communicate, Not JC Friendly , not YZY Friendly, Genius WWX, Horny LWJ, but he still has some restraints, Oblivious WWX)

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[whumpbby]

Damn, thought about Jiang Cheng and MianMian post-canon today.

Both adults now, both experienced by life and tragedy, and won out.

Her, forever thinking what if? Never able to forgive herself that she left the Jin when she did. She left Jin Zixuan's side for a flight of pride - and what even for?

She left any place where she could make a difference for the Wen. She left and didn't join the conflict on either side. She left in disgust of sect politics her friend was meant to navigate and what did she do with her choice? Left him alone to deal with the pit of snakes on his own.

What if she stayed? Would she go with him to that damned pass? Would she have his back? How many times did she dream of stepping into the way of that blow? Could her presence ensure he got to return to his wife and son? Would that have saved Yanli from throwing herself into death after him?

She looks at her children, and can't believe she deserves it when he can't. She looks at the meagre amount of good she's managed to do as a wandering cultivator and thinks what would be possible to change with Jin Zixuan alive and her advice at his side?

But at least her hands are clean, aren't they? Her conscience is clean of that one thing - she escaped the blame for the Wen Remnants. She escaped. Like Jin Zixuan couldn't.

Like Jiang Cheng didn't have a choice to.

They look at each other across the table, both swept away by Wei Wuxian's ideals, both feeling the dead staring at their back. Both living lives they didn't want to live.

(They were children back then, a little more than that. She remembers seeing him then, a boy in mourning, sorrounded by all the old men drooling at the thought of one more scrap of power, one more inch of land. Then-her couldn't understand how he could no nothing! Present-her couldn't believe he did as much as he did.)

But at least her hands are clean, aren't they?

...aren't they?