#Metal Detector Machine

[ktautomationpvtltd12]

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[trivenipack]

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[metaldetector11]

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[foldingfittedsheets]

When I graduated high school my folks decided to go on a family trip to Europe. I was extremely surly about this as I had an undiagnosed UTI but I was extremely excited to speak German with native speakers, convinced I would be an asset to my family across our travels.

Tragically, it was immediately apparent that three years of public school German meant I could communicate at the level of a first grader.

I was nonetheless elated when a child approached me at the train station to ask “Haben sie ein Kuli?” “Do you have a pen?” I was able to say, “Nein, aber ich habe ein Bleistift!” “No, but I have a pencil!” The kid seemed confused by my triumphant tone but borrowed my pencil anyway.

But my absolute greatest victory in vocabulary came during an airline check. They had me go through a metal detector, and they assumed my belt had set it off. I knew my belt was non reactive metal but! My favorite jeans had lost their zipper and I had them safety pinned shut.

The man approached me with a metal detector and seemed puzzled my belt wasn’t reading. I remembered the safety pin in the front of my jeans and I happened to know the word so I joyously announced, “Ich habe ein Sicherheitsnadel!” “I have a safety pin!”

As if to an infant, the man said slowly, “Nein, das ist sein Gürtel.” “No, that is your belt.”

I waved at my crotch and insisted, “Nein, in mein Hose ich habe ein Sicherheitsnadel!” “No, in my pants I have a safety pin!”

I couldn’t remember the name for zipper but luckily he caught the shine of the metal where a zipper should be and finally realized why this crazy American teenager was gesturing to her crotch. He scanned his machine over the offending pin which pinged and he cleared me to go.

I marched off to board the plane in a glow of pride that I had gotten to use an obscure word and the poor man got to return to his day.

[compressedrage]

ANOTHER PROFESSOR JUST DID THIS TOO

(technically, he gave us permission to use any AI tool instead of a very specific one)

BUT LIKE

STILL

My professor just gave us permission to use a generative AI tool to get the answers for quizzes.

low-key feel kinda of sick, I don't understand.

Why

[avocado-writing]

I'd like to think that Logan is the best weather detector. His bones are bow metal he just feels when it's about to rain or snow, whenever the fronts change.

“It’s gonna rain.”

“What?” you ask, glancing up from your phone where you’ve been googling the best places to grab dinner. Logan stares at the sky, nostrils flaring just a bit, scenting the air like he’s an animal. 

It’s really cute. You have to resist the urge to boop his nose. You don’t imagine he’d be too thrilled at that, though, so you remain strong. 

“I can tell,” he mutters. Looking up, the sky seems bright and clear.

“Are you sure?”

“Never wrong about this stuff, bub. I can feel it in my bones.”

He says it with such seriousness that you can’t help but laugh. He turns to you and cocks an eyebrow, and you attempt to swallow your reaction. God, he’s so sexy, you don’t know how you can stand it. 

“Okay, well, weather-boy, I’m not too worried. You still wanna go out and eat or what?”

“Sure,” he says in that slightly smug manner where he knows he’ll win out in the end. 

Two and a half hours later, well-fed and slightly wine drunk, you’re standing in the doorway of the restaurant, watching the downpour as you unsuccessfully try to hail a taxi. 

“Don’t say a word, Howlett,” you harrumph, but his self-satisfied grin is worth a thousand of them.  God, it makes you want to slap it off his face. You never would, of course… that is unless he asked you to very nicely. 

“Doesn’t look like any of those cabs are stopping,” he remarks, with an exaggerated sigh designed to annoy you. It’s no use. Looks like they’re all taken up by people who also fell foul of the weather… but they didn’t have their own personal forecast machine to warn them against being outside in the first place. 

You shiver. You wish you’d taken a coat. You feel really damn stupid right now, and it makes you ache a bit that Logan has to witness it. 

Suddenly you’re aware of a heavy warmth around your shoulders. You look up to where Logan’s taken off his leather jacket and wrapped it around you; it smells of cigar smoke and pine, and you bury yourself into it, enjoying the feeling of being totally engulfed in him. 

“Thanks,” you mutter shyly. The smile he gives you this time is sincere and affectionate. 

“C’mon, we’ll walk. It’s not that far back.”

“But you’ll get wet…!” you protest, feebly. Logan turns back to you and you take him in properly, all 6’2” of him in his jeans and far too tight white t-shirt.  Suddenly the image of him absolutely drenched appears in your mind like it was snipped from your dirtiest dream. The way the cotton would cling to his chest, leaving nothing to the imagination…

“Oh no, I’m sure you’d hate that,” he says with a smirk, as if he’s read your thoughts. He holds out a hand to you and you take it eagerly, giggling as he drags you into the rain. 

[logansdoll]

ivy, l. howlett (4)

landing on Ellis Island, it was finally time for you to show off what you could do

CW: canon typical violence, gore, guns, mutation, profanity, innuendos, mature themes, mentions of sex, y/n is very poison ivy-esque, jean grey exists but is not present, etc.

After figuring out Magneto and his gang were headed for Ellis Island, the four of you loaded into the Blackbird on a covert mission to stop him.

So after disembarking on the faraway side of the island, and deducing that the machine was hidden in the torch, you all stormed inside in an attempt to get you to the top.

Which meant passing through the museum.

Though it wasn't long before Logan caused a ruckus.

The moment he walked through the metal detectors, an alarm began to blare, forcing everyone to freeze.

Quickly, he drew his claws, stabbing the sensor until the alarm shut off, before turning to the rest of you.

Scott flashed him a cocky smirk, but Logan just flipped him off.

Rolling your eyes, you continued on, dipping in your belt pouches and sprinkling seeds along the carpet walkway, keeping your eyes peeled.

Though Logan was thoroughly confused.

"What's that?" he asked, brow raised as he walked up next to you.

"Our backup," you answered with a knowing grin, pressing ahead to spread some more.

And, as much as he willed them not to, his eyes traveled down your back, all the way to your leather clad ass.

He was only a man, and he had to say it looked absolutely fantastic, perfectly fit for your figure and moving so tantalizingly.

Trust, if you gave him a chance, he'd rock your—

A sharp jab to his side snapped him out of his reverie, its source being a particularly displeased woman with hair whiter than winter snow.

"You're drooling," she raised a brow, almost scolding.

She didn't need the professor to know what the man was thinking, and all that could be saved for after they rescued Rogue.

Before he could respond, he caught a whiff of something.

"There's someone here," he sniffed, brows furrowed.

"Where?" Scott asked.

"I don't know.... Keep your eye open."

"Logan."

But the man paid no mind, power-walking ahead and around the column in search of the source.

Though when he came back around, there was something different about him.

Something odd.

"I know there's someone here. I just can't see 'em."

He stalked toward Scott, his claws suddenly sprouting.

'The hell...'

Suddenly, another Logan tackled the other, the two tumbling into a maintenence room.

'Okay, what the actual hell...'

You three quickly followed, Scott unsure of which one to shoot as they stood off.

"Wait!" the both shouted in unison, their voices the same.

But one suddenly slashed the chain holding the door, slamming it shut right before your eyes.

"All right, back up," Scott ordered, holding the side of his goggles.

But before he could shoot it open, a familiar frog man suddenly swung over, knocking him into another room and kicking you and Ororo to the ground.

 Using his tongue, he slammed the door to Scott shut before wrapping it around your ankle and tossing you onto a higher level, sending you crashing into a display case.

'Bastard...'

But before you could even recover, he was already scaling the wall, having stuck some sort of adhesive saliva on Ororo's mouth to distract her.

Quickly, you pulled yourself up, but his tongue smacked you right back down, before grabbing your waist and tossing you into a nearby elevator shaft.

You hit the bottom with a sickening thud, hitting your head right on the concrete and splattering blood all over the floor.

That was the last straw.

Jaw locked tight with anger, you pushed yourself off the ground, fixing your neck with a disgusting crack as small as thin vines of ivy grew around your wound, quickly closing it.

"He's done."

Taking all of your pouches off your belt, you opened them up and flipped them upside down, dumping every seed in your arsenal on the ground.

And with a flick of your hand, they all shot up into the air, carrying you along with it.

When you reached the top of the shaft, your vines began to grow all over the place, two large ones completely ripping the doors open.

Toad's eyes narrowed, confused to see a gigantic lotus flower before him.

Until it bloomed, you emerging from its receptacle.

"Don't you people ever die?" he shouted, annoyed, as the stormed over.

Big mistake.

Instantly, a vine coiled around his body, tightening as you were carried toward him.

Your plants grew without control, overtaking everything on the upper levels and even encroaching on the lower.

Though you still approached the balcony with your new friend.

"Woah, woah, woah, slow your roll, love," he began to panic, jolting with fear as even larger vines burst through the windows, the flora following you outside. 

The reality of his situation was finally sinking in.

"You can't kill me! That old man o' yours don't allow it!"

You stared at him, eyes cold and dead serious as a humongous Venus Flytrap grew at your side.

"Who said I was going to kill you?"

Terrified, his eyes turned to saucers, especially when it began to move closer.

Without hesitation, the vine binding him shifted its grip, tossing him into her jaws, which she snapped shut the moment he landed.

Of course, you really couldn't kill him, so you'd already given her precise instruction.

"You know what to do," you nodded to her, "Don't go too deep."

She gave you a wiggle of confirmation, before quickly growing toward the harbor, submerging herself and Toad underwater.

With that taken care of, your plants returned you indoors, bringing you toward the banister of the upper floor to look over, where the others seemed to be regrouping.

"You guys all right?" you asked as you descended.

Turning to you, Logan's eyes widened, surprised and quite fascinated.

He knew you could control plants, but he didn't think you'd have the whole damn jungle following you.

"She wasn't kidding..." he nodded, intrigued.

For Christ's sake, you were sitting in a huge flower like some woodland fairy.

"I took care of the toad guy," you reported, stepping out Lottie—the lotus.

"The shapeshifter's handled, too," Logan nodded, focusing back on the matter at hand.

"Prove it," Scott raised a brow, resting his fingers at the side of his goggles, ready to blast.

"You're a dick."

...

"Okay."

You rolled your eyes, turning toward the roof.

"If you ladies are done... there's a girl that needs saving."

Once you all finally made it to Lady Liberty's head, you looked around, only to find that the machine was already powering up within the flame of the torch.

"Everybody, get out of here," Logan stated, seriously.

"What is it?" Ororo asked.

"I can't move."

Suddenly, something shoved him up against the wall, pieces of metal flying from all directions to pin each and every one of you.

You, in particular, getting stuck in front of Scott.

And, of course, the man himself descending from a hole he made in the statue's head.

"Ah, my brothers. Welcome," Magneto smiled, turning to Logan, "Let's point those claws of yours in a safer direction."

Using his power, he forced Logan's fists to point toward his chest, bending some scrap metal to keep them there.

"And you," he turned to Scott, Sabretooth removing his goggles. "You'd better close your eyes."

"Storm, fry him," Scott ordered, his eyes screwed shut to keep from hurting you.

"Oh, yes. A bolt of lightening into a huge, copper conductor," Magneto agreed, sarcastically. "I thought you lived at a school."

"I've seen Senator Kelly," you blurted, hoping to divert his attention.

"So the good senator survived his fall and the swim to shore," he smiled, walking up to you. "He's become even more powerful than I could have imagined."

"He's dead," you corrected. "I saw him die. Like those people down there will die."

Knowingly, he leaned in closer.

"Are you sure that's what you saw?"

You scoffed, not even surprised by his indifference.

He didn't give two shits whether those people down there lived or died.

And he could see the realization all over your face.

"Why do none of you understand what I'm trying to do?" Magneto groaned, "Those people down there control our fate and the fate of every other mutant... Well, soon our fate will be theirs."

"Help!" Rogue cried, her voice muffled but not far away. "Please help me!"

"You're so full of shit," Logan glared, pissed. "If you were really so righteous, it'd be you in that thing."

"Help! Somebody help me!"

Magneto ignored the comment, instead floating up in the air to commence the process, leaving the rest of you to wait for the inevitable.

Although Logan didn't.

Suddenly, he let out a roar of fury, impaling himself with his own claws.

"Logan!" you exclaimed, eyes wide.

You knew he could heal, but that didn't mean it hurt any less.

But his doing so destroyed his binds, dropping him to the floor.

And he played dead for a moment, waiting until Sabretooth got close enough to lift him up, before stabbing him in the gut.

Sabretooth yowled with pain, tossing Logan through the hole and out on Lady Liberty's head to fight.

Which left you to finding some sort of way to escape.

Frantically, you used your power to call out to any sort of flora you could, cursing yourself when you couldn't find anything.

That is... until you felt a tiny wiggle from the corner.

'No way...'

You thanked practically every God in heaven that some contract worker was eating David seeds on the job, because there laid a perfectly intact sunflower seed on the ground.

Quickly, you grew it larger than the average sunflower,

Sabretooth dropped back in, eyes locked on you as he slowly approached.

He caressed his gnarled claw over your cheek, staring at you intently.

"You owe me a scream."

But before he could do anything, Logan dropped down right behind him.

"Hey, bub. I'm not finished with you yet," he growled, eyes flicking to you. "(y/n)."

"Scott, when I tell you, open your eyes," you instructed.

"No!"

"Trust me."

"You dropped something," Logan smirked, tossing you Scott's goggles.

Quickly, the sunflower caught them, angling them in front of your face just right.

"Now!"

Scott opened his eyes, the beams diverted toward Sabretooth, who was blasted clear into New York harbor.

'Oh, thank, God...'

You had no idea that was going to work.

"Thanks," Scott nodded as Logan cut him down, the large leaves of the sunflower pulling you free.

"Don't mention it," Logan assured, breaking Ororo free before turning toward the torch. "We gotta get her out of there."

"Scott, can you hit it?" you asked.

He attempted to aim, but it was no use.

"The rings are moving too fast," he denied.

"Just shoot it!" Logan exclaimed.

"I'll kill her!" Scott held firm, turning to Ororo. "Storm, can you get me up there?"

"I can't control it like that. You'd fly right over the torch."

"(y/n)?"

"Not in my range."

"Then let me do it," Logan stated, turning to Scott. "If I don't make it, then at least you can still blast the damn thing."

'Shit...'

Your weren't for this plan, but it seemed like you had no choice.

"I can get you up there," you sighed, growing Susana—the sunflower—slightly larger, until she was big enough to be stood on. "But she's small. So once you get there you're on your own."

He confirmed with a nod, his eyes looking at you with something almost indecipherable before stepping onto the flower.

Quickly, you grew her stem toward the machine, going higher and higher until he was close enough to jump on top of it.

And once he did, you returned her back to her normal state, thanking her gratefully for all her hard work before turning your attention to the sky.

Where Magneto was stopping Logan from destroying the machine.

"I have a clear shot," Scott reported, powering up his beam. "I'm taking it."

"Hurry!" Ororo rushed, the wave of blinding, white radiation already close to and nearly reaching the delegates of the summit.

With a quick, precise shot, Scott knocked him away, freeing Logan and allowing him to slash the controls, instantly dissipating the radiation.

Sighing with relief, you finally allowed your shoulders to sink, running a tired hand through your hair.

He did it.

The X-men had won the day.

[noblehouseofgay]

Marauders characters going through TSA at the airport and every single one of them gets flagged

Regulus had knives on him (they didn't find them all and he got to keep some bc they were hidden so well)

Sirius had a fuck ton of jewelry and chains he didn't take off

James got unlucky and just got a random search, he was terrified the entire time bc he felt guilty even tho he had nothing to hide

Peter left shit in his pockets ("oops sorry my phone" *beep* "oops sorry forgot my keys too" *beep* "sorry-")

Remus had medical equipment that went off and he "looks too young to need it" so they didn't believe him

Barty has so many piercings that he's a metal detectors worst nightmare (he flirted with the poor tsa agent who patted him down)

Pandora got checked for chemicals bc the stuff she experiments with smells and the b0mb dog caught it

Lily overpacked her bag and it didn't fit through the machine at all so she was asked to separate it into multiple bins (she packs the shit everyone else definitely forgot)

Evan had medical tools that he uses to dissect things except he's not a doctor so it's very concerning to tsa

Marlene had an energy drink with her and got told to dump it or drink it so she downed the entire thing at 6 in the fucking morning (barty, Evan, james, and sirius were chanting "chug" while she did it)

Dorcas got checked because they thought her weighted pillow had drugs in it

Mary keeps stuff in the strap of her bra and in the rim of her socks and she got flagged for both

[magic-vending-machine]

I insert a photograph of Weird Al Yankovic

The machine dispenses allen wrenches, gerbil feeders, toilet seats, electric heaters, trash compactors, juice extractor, shower rods and water meters, walkie-talkies, copper wires safety goggles, radial tires, bb pellets, rubber mallets, fans and dehumidifiers, picture hangers, paper cutters, waffle irons, window shutters, paint removers, window louvres, masking tape and plastic gutters, kitchen faucets, folding tables, weather stripping, jumper cables, hooks and tackle, grout and spackle, power foggers, spoons and ladles, pesticides for fumigation, high-performance lubrication, metal roofing, water proofing, multi-purpose insulation, air compressors, brass connectors, wrecking chisels, smoke detectors, tire guages, hamster cages, thermostats and bug deflectors, trailer hitch demagnetizers, automatic circumcisers, tennis rackets, angle brackets, duracells and energizers, soffit panels, circuit brakers, vacuum cleaners, coffee makers, calculators, generators, matching salt and pepper shakers.

[ace-and-the-rpg-horrors]

i doubt that Arata's going to make any major appearances now, but i think it would be so funny if VBS starts travelling and he is made to supervise them, because Ken is busy and tells the kids, "sorry, i am not trusting you guys by yourselves abroad in a million years." so he calls up Arata, since he's travelled before (to America)

Arata is like "yeah, sure. how hard could it be?"

about everything that could go wrong goes wrong.

in the middle of the night, they were all meant to meet at WEG, from where Ken would drive them to the airport. all of them except Toya forgot at least one thing at home and had to go all the way back to retrieve it.

Arata ordered a cup of strong coffee while they all waited for An to come back after running up to her room for the sixteenth time.

at security, An, Akito and Arata seem to accidentally create a "whose jewellery can set off the metal detector more" competition. Toya is highly disappointed in Akito. and just before the trip, Emu had given Kohane a tiny little robot that has recorded messages from all of W x S, to remember them by while she's away!! so cute!!

it gets Kohane pulled away to be searched.

not even anything dodgy in it, it's just as if the machines could detect the Made In Rui Kamishiro's Room essence. Kohane was terrified. it took Arata, Akito and Toya to hold An back from fighting security and getting them all arrested. Rui woke up at home a few hours later to fifty missed calls from Akito, An and the airline.

Arata bought another coffee at duty free afterwards.

oh, and since i'm silly about my headcanon of Iori and Arata being twins, STANDOUT happens to be doing a world tour at the same time. Arata prayed he would not see his sister at the airport. he is not God's favourite. she sees him struggling with the kids and immediately takes the piss. he retorts that he hopes her plane crashes. nearly gets jumped by the other band members (minus Mio)

he needed two coffees to recover from that.

Kohane is super excited about taking as many photos as she can while in the airport, wanting to capture everything. Arata sees her struggling with holding the camera while dragging her suitcase and decides to be nice, offering to hold it. she accidentally calls him nii-san and he feels joy for the first time, thinking that maybe it's all worth it. which is very quickly dissolved when An takes him holding Kohane's bag as an invitation to drop her bag on him ("cheers, Arata!!"), followed by Akito. Toya tries to scold them and help carry all the things, though sheepishly finds that he does not have the strength to.

"why the fuck do i bother." ~ Arata Tono, 2024, on his fifth coffee.

Arata gets a call from Souma checking up on him and is so relieved that he's positively beaming (and maybe even tearing up) while he walks away to answer.

"ehhh, he hasn't smiled at us like that all night, even though we've been so good!!" ~ An. she and Akito tease the hell out of his relationship with Souma when he returns.

while waiting to board the plane, he has to deal with standing next to a bickering An and Akito, the sleepiness starting to really get to the both of them, making them more snappy. Toya is starting to really realise that flights involve... heights. and is staring into space while having a silent panic attack. Kohane unintentionally wanders off to go take more photos, nearly giving Arata a heart attack when he thinks he's lost her. or that might've just been the caffeine.

he is unable to buy another cup of coffee at this time.

the second Arata gets into his plane seat, he goes "do not talk to me" to all of them and immediately falls asleep. some poor flight attendant has to shake him awake to ask him to put his belt on because he'd forgotten. he starts sobbing right then and there.

he gets to order his now hourly coffee from that same flight attendant a bit later.

he tries to drift off once more, though is awoken again, this time by poor Toya in the middle seat digging his fingernails into both his and Akito's arms from fear, like a cat, while the plane takes off.

Arata downs some more coffee and reflects every one of his life's decisions while his arm is taken hostage.

An, who is much too peppy at this sort of hour, in Arata's opinion, reaches across the aisle every ten minutes to shake his free arm and ask "are we there yet??" so he makes Toya keep an eye on how many exact miles away they are and regularly report it to her, to both distract him from the height and satisfy An's curiosity.

when they arrive at their destination, VBS is ecstatic. Arata promptly goes to his room in the hotel and passes out for about twelve hours.

he gets offered coffee during breakfast and feels sick at the thought... before remembering that he's with this lot for a good few days and quickly accepts.

[alumi-san]

After seeing Japanese ship names for Hetalia, I decided to do research and find one for Danganronpa. (I'll add more)

Akane x Chiaki - Warrior's Heart

Aoi x Kyoko - California Girls

Aoi x Sakura - Donut Protein

Celeste x Gonta - Goth Bugs

Chiaki x Nagito - Claw Machine

Chihiro x Byakuya - Bitcoin

Chihiro x Kiyotaka - Ultimate Justice

Chihiro x Mondo - Electric Motor

Fuyuhiko x Hajime - Baby Tie

Fuyuhiko x Peko - Loyal Blade

Hajime x Chiaki - Steady Player

Hajime x Fuyuhiko x Kazuichi - Neapolitan Ice Cream

Hajime x Kazuichi - Fanta

Hajime x Mahiru - Vintage Photos

Hajime x Mikan - Splinter

Himiko x Angie - Magical art

Himiko x Angie x Tenko - Traffic Lights

Himiko x Tenko - Witchcraft

Izuru x Nagito - Despair and Hope

Kaede x Miu - Golden Gal

Kaede x Rantaro - Musical Chairs

Kaede x Tsumugi - Masquerade

Kaito x Kokichi - Star Trikster

Kaito x Shuichi - Cosmic Detective

Kazuichi x Gundam - Mecha Magic

Kiibo x Kaito - Cyberspace

Kiibo x Kokichi - Cyberbullying

Kiibo x Miu - Cyber-Sex

Kiyotaka x Mondo - Justice Ride

Kokichi x Gonta - Monarch Butterfly

Kokichi x Himiko - Black Magic

Kokichi x Shuichi - Lie Detector

Kyoko x Sayaka - Silent Blade

Mahiru x Hiyoko - Photobomb

Mahiru x Ibuki - Photo Album

Maki x Kaede - Death Note

Maki x Kaito - Shooting Stars

Makoto x Byakuya - Lucky Lottery

Makoto x Byakuya x Kyoko - Detective Trio

Makoto x Chihiro - Lucky Hack

Makoto x Kyoko - Hopefull Truth

Makoto x Leon - Lucky Strike

Makoto x Mukuro - Lucky Shot

Makoto x Sayaka - Lucky Star

Mikan x Ibuki - Silent Thunder

Mikan x Nagito - Injected Hope

Miu x Kaito - Inventive Luck

Mondo x Mikan - Biking Kit

Mukuro x Sayaka - Power Ballad

Nagito x Hajime - Hopefull Heart

Nagito x Makoto - Jackpot

Ruruka x Izayoi - Sweets and Daggers

Sayaka x Leon - Pop-Rocks

Shuichi x Kaede - Detective Music

Shuichi x Kiibo - Hope Circuit

Sonia x Chiaki - Princess Peach

Sonia x Gundam - Royal Gamble

Sonia x Kazuichi - Royale Metal

Teruteru x Kazuichi - Baking Soda

Toko x Byakuya - Ultimate Legacy

[justlookfrightened]

Old dogs and new tricks

Prompt fill from @goddess47: MooMaw comes to visit Jack and Bitty

Lorraine Phelps settled back into her seat and sighed.

She was on the plane. The first part of her journey was done.

It hadn’t been so bad, really. Suzanne had driven her to the airport in Atlanta, parked and walked her into the airport, made sure her new suitcase got checked, escorted her all the way to the security line.

“I wish you’d let me get a gate pass so I could stay with you,” Suzanne fussed. “Or arranged a wheelchair.”

“I’ll be fine,” Lorraine had rejoined. “I’m not a child, and I’m not decrepit.”

Not yet, anyway.

This trip to Providence was an adventure for Lorraine, her first time in years on an airplane, her first time ever flying by herself.

When Dicky had traveled to Madison for her “surprise” 75th birthday party, the gift had been a huge box, a box that turned out to contain a new suitcase, one of the ones with wheels on the bottom and a smaller bag inside, and a picture of an airplane.

“Well, this is lovely,” Lorraine had said to her favorite grandson. Yes, he was her favorite, not that she’d ever admit it to anyone. But all those hours they’d spent in the kitchen together … it was like their own flavors melded and complemented one another. “But I don’t know —”

And Dicky had cut her off, because of course he knew what she was going to say.

“The suitcase isn’t the present, Moomaw,” he’d said. “The present is … me ’n’ Jack want you to come to Providence to visit. We didn’t get flights yet, because we have to decide when is the best time and all, but we want you to come stay with us. And this way you can’t say that you don’t have a bag to pack.”

“As if I would!” Lorraine had said.

But truth be told, she might have.

She knew plenty of people traveled all the time, flew all over the country, all over the world even. Jack with his team — he must be flying two, three, even four times a week. Even Dicky had flown back and forth from college after the first year, for breaks too, and Suzanne and Rick flew to visit him even now.

They all knew how to do it, though, with their tickets on their phones and showing identification in the security lines, and understanding what to leave in their bags and take out before they went through the machine.

She shouldn’t have worried.

Dicky had sent videos showing what the screening area was like at Hartsfield, and all kinds of explanations.

“If you’re 75, you don’t have to take your shoes off, and you can leave your sweater on to go through the metal detector,” he’d said in an email. “You don’t have to worry about a laptop or tablet, so just make sure you don’t have anything liquid in your carryon. We can get any toiletries you need here, and you can put your makeup in your checked bag. Otherwise, liquids need to be in small containers and fit in one small plastic bag, which you might or might not have to take out of your carryon.”

As it turned out, Lorraine didn’t even need a carryon. Her purse was large enough for her wallet and phone, a magazine, a paperback book, lipstick and some chewing gum (recommended by Dicky for takeoff and landing).

And it turned out that being a 5-foot-nothing grandmother type with a cloud of white hair meant that the security people wanted nothing more than to help her on her way, with one even coming over to her after she collected her bag to point her towards the correct gate.

Then the first-class (first class!) ticket Dicky and Jack sent meant that she was escorted aboard the flight early, and all she had to do was sit and look out the window and sip the water they gave her.

She texted Dicky: On the plane! Everything is lovely! See you when I get there!

Coach passengers, most of them laden down with roller bags or backpacks and food and pillows and whatnot, were still shuffling past her seat when Dicky replied, “Great! I’ll be at baggage claim when you get here!”

Lorraine carefully put her phone into airplane mode — she’d never had to do that before — before tucking it into her purse and pulling out the magazine. She was too excited to focus on her book.

She spent the flight alternating between reading and looking out the window, enjoying a quite tasty smoked chicken salad. They didn’t have sweet tea; Lorraine toyed with the idea of having a glass of wine, but decided it wouldn’t be a good idea. There was too much she had to pay attention to today. But she did indulge in a Coke.

When the plane landed, she waited while most of the people behind her on the plane bumped and jostled their way out. Once she got her phone reconnected, she found a text from Dicky telling her what baggage carousel to look for.

On my way! she texted back, then stood to wait for a break in the traffic in the aisle.

“Can I help you?” the nice flight attendant asked. “Is there someone meeting you at the gate?”

“No, my grandson is at baggage claim,” Lorraine said. “I’ll be fine. Just follow the signs, right?”

It turned out to be as simple as following the people. Dicky was standing at the bottom of the escalator, all but vibrating as he craned his neck to look for her. As soon as he caught sight of her, Dicky gave her a broad smile and a little wave.

“How was your flight?” he asked as soon as the escalator deposited her on the ground floor. “No trouble? You don’t have anything besides your purse?”

“My suitcase should be coming,” she said.

“I mean, besides that? Do you want to sit down while I wait for it? I know what it looks like.”

“I can wait with you,” Lorraine said. “It feels good to stand after sitting on the plane.”

When the purple case came, Dicky picked it up and rolled it towards the exit.

“I’m not parked too far away,” he said.

The ride in Dicky’s little red car started with a long time in a tunnel, then a long time on an interstate through suburban subdivisions and then finally some woodland and fields. It could have been driving out of Atlanta, except the dirt was a different color, and the leaves were different.

Before she would have thought it possible, they were back in suburbs, then getting off the interstate onto city streets.

The whole time, Bitty prattled about everything they could do in the week Lorraine was spending in Providence. He was full of museums and restaurants and farmer’s markets and parks in a way that sounded, frankly, exhausting.

“So,” Dicky finally said, turning the car into a driveway that led to a garage under a high-rise, “any of that sound good to you?”

“It all sounds wonderful,” Lorraine said. “But I didn’t come to see Providence. I came to see you. And, of course, Jack.”

“He’s home by now,” Dicky said. “He had a meeting this morning about some sponsorship things.”

Dicky pulled into a numbered spot and once again took Lorraine’s suitcase, leading her towards an elevator where he pressed the button for the top floor.

“Wait until you see the view,” he said.

Lorraine smiled, because she already had the view she wanted.

Jack, as promised, was in the condo, all solicitousness.

“Bits made some sweet tea this morning,” he said as soon as she was fairly in the door. “Can I pour you a glass? Are you hungry?”

“I ate just fine on the plane,” Lorraine said. “But yes, some sweet tea would be lovely. Let me go freshen up, then some tea, And then maybe a rest?”

“Of course,” Dicky said. “I’m sorry — I should have thought. The bathroom is here —” he opened the first door in the hallway off the kitchen “ — and your room is right next door. I’ll put your suitcase in there.”

Once the door closed on her in the bathroom, Lorraine let out a deep sigh. This was the first time since Suzanne picked her up that she’d been alone, truly alone, and it was a relief. But she knew she only had a couple of minutes before Dicky would get worried about her in here.

That was one of the things no one ever warned you about when you got old. She’d lived alone for years now, and quite liked her own company. Suzanne called most days, of course, and Judy came around, and Lorraine had an active social life, what with church and her book group, but most of the time she saw other people on her own terms.

But then when she did spend time with family, they worried if she spent too long in the bathroom or wanted to go off on her own for a while.

She couldn’t blame them, really. She’d lost Walker years ago now, and no one had expected him to pass when he did. They worried over her. And she did have more aches and pains, not that she complained.

Lorraine washed her hands and refreshed her lipstick before going back to the main living area, able to appreciate the wide windows with a view over the city. Dicky and Jack were in the kitchen, a large tiled area that was separated from the dining room by a counter with high chairs. The dining room wasn’t really separated at all from the living room, except by the furniture that made the use of each area obvious.

Dicky and Jack were speaking in low voices, and Dicky stopped as soon as he saw her. Jack offered her the glass of tea he’d poured while Dicky picked up a plate of cookies and gestured towards the sofa.

“How’s everyone in Madison?” he asked as they settled in.

Lorraine passed along news and greetings — Judy’s oldest boy’s wife was pregnant, and the younger one had dropped out of Georgia Tech and started working as a mechanic, and gotten engaged to his high school sweetheart.

“Your Aunt Judy isn’t thrilled, I can tell you that,” she said. “But she is going on about what a lovely wedding it will be, especially in front of your mother.”

“MooMaw, you know Jack and I are getting married up here,” Dicky said. “I know Mama wants a wedding in Georgia, but that would be a huge mess. Everyone is nice to my face when I’m there, but I know they’re still talking behind my back about me marrying Jack, and why would I want to do that to myself? Never mind that Jack’s folks are in Montreal, and most of our friends are here.”

“Oh, I don’t disagree,” MooMaw said. “I think you made the right decision. I just wanted to let you know.”

“So I wouldn’t be surprised when Mama brings it up again?” Dicky asked. “I do think that this way the only relatives who’ll come will be the ones who really want to. You’re coming, right?”

“You couldn’t keep me away,” MooMaw said. “Especially now that I know how easy the flight is. I suppose I’ll have to travel with your mother and father.”

“I was thinking you would,” Bitty said. “You don’t want to?”

“To tell you the truth, I kind of like first class,” MooMaw said. “Even though you shouldn’t have.”

“Of course we should have,” Jack said. “We can fly you all up first-class for the wedding.”

“Jack —” Dicky said.

“What?” Jack said. “It’s not that much. We could charter a private plane for your relatives if you want —”

“Jack. We are not chartering a private plane.”

Lorraine hid her smile behind a cookie. Her Dicky had found a good one. What was it her mother had told her when she brought Walker home? It would be just as easy to fall in love with a rich man?

Walker had never been rich, but they’d done all right. They’d both taught school, Lorraine in the primary grades and Walker at the high school, until the girls came along, and then Lorraine stayed home. Walker had worked a series of second jobs in the summer and side jobs all year, and they’d never wanted for anything.

Now Suzanne’s Rick made near as much as the high school principal as the football coach, so they were fine. But it wasn’t “we’ll just charter a plane” money. Or “top-floor condo with a view of the city money” either.

Still, Jack didn’t strike her as spoiled. He had a good head on his shoulders, and he loved Dicky. That was obvious from the first time she saw the two of them together.

“So,” Dicky said, obviously changing the subject. “Do you want to go out for dinner tonight? Or go do anything this afternoon?”

“I think I’d like to have a lie-down,” Lorraine said. “For at least a while. If y’all don’t want to cook, we could go out — but maybe just for a bite? And then tomorrow, if you’re not busy, Dicky, you could show me around the neighborhood?”

“We don’t mind cooking,” Jack answered. “We have some steaks and some chicken we can grill, if that sounds all right to you?”

“And tomorrow we’ll hit up the market,” Dicky said. “You don’t mind being a special guest on my vlog? But maybe after we go to the farmer’s market Saturday. Jack has meetings tomorrow, but he’s free Friday — we thought we’d go to Newport and maybe take the ferry to Jamestown or Block Island?”

“That all sounds fine,” Lorraine said.

Jack stood as she got to her feet, and she smiled at the manners his parents had clearly instilled in him.

“I’m fine,” she said. “Just a little worn out.”

The visit proceeded more or less as Lorraine expected, with Dicky planning daily outings and events, which Lorraine enjoyed immensely — especially ones like the ferry, where she could sit down — and Jack joining them when he was able.

She and Dicky also baked and cooked together, both on camera and off; she sampled foods including stuffed clams and lobster rolls; and she and Jack started an ongoing penny-a-point series of gin rummy games, mostly out on the terrace while Dicky was busy on the computer.

Jack turned out to be a worthy competitor.

The surprise of the visit, and a pleasant one, was the way Jack warmed up to her. She’d obviously liked the boy from the beginning for his devotion to Dicky if nothing else. Now that they had more time together, she came to like his sly sense of humor, the way he observed the world and even the way he helped Dicky moderate his impulses to try to do everything all at once.

Dicky had told her that Jack suffered from anxiety and sometimes had panic attacks, although she didn’t see anything like that during her week in Rhode Island. She hoped that meant he was comfortable with her. He was comfortable enough, at any rate, to mention going to therapy, which she supposed was a good thing.

Would probably be a good thing for Dicky too, if she was honest. God knew the boy had a rough enough time growing up, and he always had been a bit of a whirlwind. Maybe those two things weren’t related, but you never knew.

“So,” Dicky said, when he drove her to the airport for her flight home. “When do you want to come back? If you come during the season I can bring you to one of Jack’s games — I can send you the schedule and maybe you want to pick out a weekend with a day game?”

“I couldn’t ask for —”

“You’re not asking, I’m inviting,” Dicky said. “Actually, it was Jack’s idea. If you want Mama and Coach to come with you, I can try —”

“No, that’s fine,” Lorraine said. “I’d like very much to come.”

After all, she thought, as she got in the line for security, this was something she knew how to do now.

[toskarin]

THE WAY OF ALL FLESH 《万人の途》

You need not hurry, We've got all the time in the world.

My memory has failed sadly of late.

He is violently pessimistic.

It is wildly unlikely.

There is all the difference in the world between the two.

make an unholy fuss about very little.

Dear me! What a sorry mess everything is in!

The painting is a rank imitation.

a gross mistake.

a crushing bore.

with no earthly reason.

be crass ignorance.

every trick in the book.

They have all the advantages in the world.

go native. go bust.

The proposal came one vote short of unanimous approval.

I can't reach the buttons on the back. Will you do them for me?

So many movies have had this plot that it has been done to death.

Things don't go so well in real life.

It will go hard with him if he is found out.

It makes no difference no matter which way the election goes.

some people still can go without paying taxes.

look full in the face.

The sun shone in our faces.

One and one makes one.

These make a pair.

make the passing mark.

The seal is missing on the document.

The lace on one of my shoes had god undone.

I wouldn't want to be quoted on this.

I'm not much on putting those things into words.

be short on imagination.

It seems he got mixed up on his instructions.

Who is going to take you up on your offer!

He erred grossly on that problem.

a toy balloon on a string.

a dog on a chain.

be a black mark.

He is the sort of man whose personal charm grows on you on acquaintance.

Wherever did you put?

It was a good joke, but fell flat on him.

The mood grew on me.

My mind was not on it.

be borne in on one.

Shame on you!

an experiment on animals.

It is too late to perform an operation on him.

You ought to be harder on him.

Acids act upon metals.

It is unfair on you.

His voice grates upon my ear.

The drinks are on me.

Do you know you are taking a great deal on yourself?

Don't tell on me.

She seems to have something on him.

play a neat trick on a person.

get die on a person.

They have nothing on us.

Age has begun to tell on me.

No use trying to pull such a trick on me.

be on trial.

He is unable to hold anything on his stomach.

The scene was on.

I lay awake thinking over it all last night.

I had to rack my brains over that problem.

She hesitated over her answer.

ride roughshod over the objection.

Don't pull that line on me.

pull a sanctimonious face.

He never pulls his rank.

We are running short of gas.

Time is running short on me.

One's devil's luck runs out.

Finally she ran out of patience.

The watch has run down.

let one's imagination run riot.

run short of topics for conversation.

That is not the way the world is run.

run a machine at a high voltage.

run a person on a lie detector.

leave a motor running.

He stands small chance against you.

Kids run a high temperature over nothing in particular and snap out of it.

investigate a matter to the ground.

criticize severely.

You are worn to a shadow.

boring to distraction.

It has been done to death.

The bag was filled to bursting with sugar.

What are you seeing?

They were killed to a man.

It is done to a turn.

There is another side to the coin.

There's not enough depth to the story.

There is more to it than that.

There was no jerk to his motions.

That is about all there is to it.

The words had an ironical ring.

Have you any clue to work on?

The brakes refused to work.

The machine was still in fine working order.

The plan worked remarkably well.

It is very well in theory, but will it work?

His reason ceased to work.

Flattery will not work with him

It might work and again it might not work

I'm afraid it won't work so well.

Our plan worked successful.

The trick won't work with him.

The handle doesn't work.

The warning seemed to work most effectively.

Her face worked fiercely.

The screw had worked loose.

work a spear through one's hands.

They will work you to death.

He worked on a smile that didn't quite come off.

There is no knowing how that will work itself out.

This problem will not work out.

The safe opened to the key.

a ticket to a movie.

exit to applause.

The medicine worked into the wounded skin.

Oh! I'm inside out!

You are unzipped.

No stopover on this ticket.

try to enter a country on an expired passport.

I'll come again when you are free.

The question is who will bell the cat.

The fact that he was sick was not very impressive to her.

You asked for it.

untie a tight knot.

The girl couldn't word her feelings well.

Does he really mean it? I wonder.

Let him do his worst.

a would-be kindness.

Did she agree with you?

Turn your face toward me.

I don't think I can do it,but I'll try.

What is true of them is equally true of you.

They trumped up a charge to put him in jail.

Think it over carefully before you decide.

What are you talking about?

He bothered me with stupid questions.

Can it really be mine?

Don't calculate on me helping you.

No one called my attention to it.

Watch when you talk about religion.

You have the advantage of me.

They shouted to the utmost of their strength.

She never gave utterance to her personal feelings.

There were very few passengers in the train.

How much use did you get out of the machine?

It's not us that tried to upset their plans.

There was a chasm yawning in front of us.

Let me see,where was I?

Where did the plan go wrong?

work out one's idea of one's role.

To live is to suffer.

This is playing with words.

know what you mean.

What do you see?

You ought to have been more careful.

You need not have come.

Who do you think you are?

I have no idea what the word means.

ARRIVE ON THE EDGE

YOU RECAPTURED KARNEL OF THE LOST ARTICLE

AND THE ORDER IS TOTALLY OVER.

[gffa]

Star Wars: The High Republic: Quest for Planet X You know, I think I'm kind of onboard with this, because I am extremely onboard with that the way the Force works is that it depends on how well you know the person, that it's the same with Jedi "bonds", it's not really something that can be measured, it's not really something that's quantifiable in a detailed way, that it's just a sense of recognition of someone you know well. Like, you can't really use the Force as you would a metal detector or anything, it's based on feelings and emotions and familiarity. I think the way fandom uses "Force signatures" works, because what we really mean is their presence in the Force, but this is talking more about something you could measure with a machine and that's just not really how any of it works. You could probably create some kind of machine that sort of works, like you can create some kind of machine that sort of measures feelings, but it's not really the same.

[toast-in-a-cowboy-hat]

I'll never get over Tex asking Michael if he has a brain chip, then immediately saying that Outlaw can take it out, and everyone acts like its The Most Casual suggestion one could ever have

Like yeah man, come on, it'll be fine, don't worry about it, just slap down a towel, get some of Outlaw's Backyard Brain Surgery, don't make such a big deal out of it

We can do it in the living room, you can watch some TV, Bluster might come in and say hi, just lay back and relax!

Also I assume he knows the general area that the chip wold be in, but also you need to know exactly where, so does he have an X-Ray Machine, or he just whipping out a metal detector in the middle of all this, homing in on it like "Hmm it's beeping real loud, let's try here... ah, nope, that's a beer tab, well we'll keep lookin', it's in there somewhere"

And I know maybe this is something to be done with a Calculator, but referring to it specifically as Brain Surgery and Michael saying he doesn't want Ty poking around his brain implies that its just regular (well "regular") surgery and so like...where did Outlaw get the equipment for this??

Where in the world is he getting this stuff, did he steal a copy of the Compound's equipment on the way out, is he going up to random hospitals like "Hey don't mind me just gonna duplicate your MRI Machine" or is he cobbling shit together in the basement??

Like you walk in and this man's defibrillator is made outta someones old toaster got some kinda machine in the corner partially made out of an old doodlebug hood, the computer screen's from 1995, but then again that's high tech compared to some hospitals so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Also I imagine this is a Base only kinda thing, but what if Tex's just down at the bar offering people free surgery like it's on the same level as a ride home?

Can you imagine being in a bar with your buddies, you just went to the doctor, they said you need some kind of heart surgery, and you're there talking like 'Oh it needs to be done but god, its so expensive, my insurance only covers so much, the bills are just gonna kill me, etc, etc ...' Only for some other guy that you may or may not know to pop up, go "Oh, hey, I got someone that can help you out with that", call someone else over and be like "This is my guy-of-indeterminate-relationship, he's a scientist, he can probably hook you up with a lil open heart surgery, no problem :)"

Scientist guy asks you what the problem is, you explain it, and he's like "yeah, we can do something about that, gimme a couple weeks to get everything together, I'll give you a call when it's all ready"

And you're just like, yeah sure, why not, Weird Cowboy Scientist's gonna do my heart surgery, sure. Is he gonna buy the implant you need? Does he just have one lying around? Is he stealing it?? Who knows, you'll find out, it's fine, sure

2 weeks later, you do the finding out and apparently none of your guesses were right, turns out he's building all this shit himself, but hell, it's faster than a doctor's appointment and free to boot, so! Why not! Sure! Let's do it, definitely not gonna be getting any organs stolen, this is all completely normal!!

And then its actually fine.

Nothing bad happened, no infections, no internal organs missing (as far as you can tell), it was a basic surgery, everything went fine.

You go home. You decide you don't need to know. You decide you don't want to know.

You go to the bar with your buddies again, the guy is there, you buy him a beer, have a little chat, leave the conversation thinking "Wow, what a fucking dork", and on life goes.

And I mean, I guess it could work in their favor, like, folks around get to knowing about him, and he's out doing something odd or seemin' suspicious or something and someone asks about him, they can be like "Oh no, don't worry, don't mind him, that's just Outlaw, he's Tex's... bestie? boyfriend? sugar-baby-boytoy-situationship-type-deal??? ...British Friend, and yeah he's weird n' all, but it's cool, he's nice, he sometimes help's out with folk's health problems when they can't afford it, and Tex's band plays at the bar, which is cool, so ya know, we don't question the weird shit they got goin' on, like it works out, it's all good"

Like, there's just....

So much, so many things there, I could go on, as you can tell, I have many a thought but like, I just - it's - yeah

[goldkirk]

I won't trauma dump, but I will let myself lore dump a little as a treat.

The man who hurt me thought he was so important in the grand scheme of things that he was convinced that he, a Midwestern small-city police chief and mayor, had a lot of Enemies, he absolutely needed a full-time personal policeman bodyguard/driver from the city's police force, and also he was on Al Qaeda's targeted hit list. Al Qaeda, to no one's surprise, neither confirmed nor denied.

He made them install x-ray and metal detector machines in our tiny little city hall that, despite being the mayor of, he couldn't manage to come in to for reliable work hours ever. For years, he was making over 16,000 dollars more per year than the mayor of St. Louis, not counting the city car or other benefits. Bonkers yonkers McGee over here