magic-vending-machine - Tumblr blog

[magic-vending-machine]

I insert 1 lemon into the machine

The machine forcibly hands you the lemon back.

[magic-vending-machine]

Inserts part of a paper nautilus

The machine counters with a scissor nautilus.

[magic-vending-machine]

Insert a wolf tooth and an empty vial

The vial falls into the coin return slot, with the wolf tooth safely inside.

[magic-vending-machine]

inserts a sweet little smoochie for the vending machine ^-^

The machine kisses you back.

[magic-vending-machine]

*i shove as many rocks as i can carry into the vending machine*

The vending machine organizes them neatly.

[magic-vending-machine]

Inserts a model train set

The machine grows wheels and rolls away on previously unseen track.

[magic-vending-machine]

I insert a photograph of Weird Al Yankovic

The machine dispenses allen wrenches, gerbil feeders, toilet seats, electric heaters, trash compactors, juice extractor, shower rods and water meters, walkie-talkies, copper wires safety goggles, radial tires, bb pellets, rubber mallets, fans and dehumidifiers, picture hangers, paper cutters, waffle irons, window shutters, paint removers, window louvres, masking tape and plastic gutters, kitchen faucets, folding tables, weather stripping, jumper cables, hooks and tackle, grout and spackle, power foggers, spoons and ladles, pesticides for fumigation, high-performance lubrication, metal roofing, water proofing, multi-purpose insulation, air compressors, brass connectors, wrecking chisels, smoke detectors, tire guages, hamster cages, thermostats and bug deflectors, trailer hitch demagnetizers, automatic circumcisers, tennis rackets, angle brackets, duracells and energizers, soffit panels, circuit brakers, vacuum cleaners, coffee makers, calculators, generators, matching salt and pepper shakers.

[magic-vending-machine]

Inserts a non fungible token

The machine shoots you.

[magic-vending-machine]

Inserts a fake £5 note from a toy food set

The machine dispenses a fake drink bottle from a toy food set.

[magic-vending-machine]

*inserts a can of sparkling water*

The coin return slot fills with pennies that glow slightly and are warm to the touch.

[magic-vending-machine]

i insert my old cargo shorts and a lot of colorful tshirts with cringy prints

The vending machine reforms them to fit your current tastes.

[magic-vending-machine]

inserts an unrecognizable coin of some sort

A can of unrecognizable sludge falls out.

[magic-vending-machine]

Inserts an ancient Roman coin into the slot

The machine dispenses a pyroclastic flow.

[magic-vending-machine]

Inserts a childish crayon drawing of me and the machine holding hands

The machine reaches out a hand and holds yours.

[magic-vending-machine]

Insert a deep fried hotdog (extra greasy)

The machine dispenses a bottle of grease and a desiccated hot dog.

[magic-vending-machine]

inserts a horseshoe for some reason

The machine dispenses a horse sock.

[magic-vending-machine]

*touches a suspiciously misaligned texture on the right side of the machine*

You instantly ragdoll. The machine is unaffected.