#Memory Lost

[cheymonster]

[caliberrose]

Does anyone stilll ship Wincest? If you do, then check out this fic

It’s my all time favourite - even though the author stopped posting because of personal reasons - this fic will make you feel feels

(They didn’t put me up to this — if you wrote this and see this post, please reach out, I’d love to collaborate with you if you ever get back into writing)

[kim-deadja]

ROLEPLAY STARTER

CONTENT <rp w/ kim dokja (28). memory lost dokja, settings and au open (your choice)>

The sterile smell of antiseptic was overpowering, sharp and unyielding, yet it did nothing to ground Kim Dokja in reality. His mind felt as if it were trapped in a fog, drifting somewhere between clarity and oblivion. Slowly, his eyes opened, but the ceiling above him only seemed to blur, shifting in and out of focus. The harsh light above flickered intermittently, casting odd, jagged shadows across the room.

A dull pain throbbed at the back of his skull, accompanied by the heavy weight of his limbs, as though they belonged to someone else entirely. His chest rose and fell slowly, testing the sensation of breathing, and he gasped slightly as a strange unease crept through him. Something was off.

He blinked, confusion clouding his thoughts. The rhythmic beeping of a monitor beside him did little to reassure him. His eyes darted down to his hands, pale and trembling, unfamiliar in their own skin. His fingers flexed uncertainly as if trying to remind himself of something he couldn't grasp.

"Where… am I?"

The words came out in a hoarse whisper, as if his voice itself had forgotten how to speak. He turned his head, expecting to see something, anything that might anchor him to the present, but everything felt wrong, displaced. The room was quiet, save for the beeping, and his gaze flickered around, desperate to make sense of it all.

A chill ran through him as a deep, gnawing panic began to settle in his chest. His heartbeat quickened, and his breath became shallow.

Who am I?

The thought struck him like a wave, drowning him under a sudden flood of terror. He didn’t know his own name. He didn’t know how he got here, or why his mind felt so fractured, like pieces of something important were slipping through his fingers.

His eyes darted to the side of the bed. And there you sat, your figure curled up, relaxed in the quiet solitude of the room. He thought you looked so peaceful, your breathing even and soft. But you were no more than an unremarkable stranger who seemed so out of place in his swirling confusion. He couldn’t recall how you came to be here, or even why you were there at all.

His heart raced.

"Hey…" His voice was quiet at first, almost uncertain, but the panic building inside him made it rise. "Hey, can you hear me?"

He paused, the silence around them seeming too heavy, too suffocating. His breath hitched as he leaned forward slightly, trying to shake the fog from his mind, desperate to understand what was happening, why nothing felt right.

"Please, wake up…" His voice cracked, sharper now, filled with the raw edge of panic as he tried again to get your attention.

<feel free to continue in dms, etc>

[nemainofthewater]

Best character surnamed: Leng

Come and vote for the best characters with the same surname!*

What does best mean? It's up to you! Whether you love them, are intrigued by their characters, love to hate them, or they're your '2 second blorbos whose personality you made up wholesale', these are all reasons for you to vote for your favs!

*note, the surnames are not exactly the same in all the cases, as often there will be a different character. I am, however, grouping them all together otherwise things got more complicated.

Propaganda is very welcome! If I’ve forgotten anyone, let me know in the notes.

This is part of a larger series of ‘best character with X surname’ polls’. The overview with ongoing polls, winners, and future polls can be found here

[ultimateshixiongfuckertournament]

Noncanonicals Tournament Round 2, Match 2

Match 2 is between Xie Lu / T from Memory Lost (shizun/mentor: Xu Sibai / S) and Chen Pi Ah Si from DMBJ / The Mystic Nine (shizun/mentor: Er Yuehong)

Propaganda under the cut! (Warning: Propaganda may include spoilers about the characters and their media)

Xie Lu / T:

Xie Lu, codename T, is a member of the Alphabet Syndicate, and leader S's personal project. From a young age, Xie Lu displayed an uncanny aptitude for sharp-shooting. When his dream of going to a specialized school for training, and ultimately competing in the Olympics, was destroyed by his own father, Xie Lu left home, living off the land in the mountains. It was here, when he was fifteen, that he was approached by S, promising to train him in the art of killing, honing his already-excellent skills with a gun into something perfect.

//From fifteen to twenty-three years old, T followed him for eight years.

But he only stayed by his side for the first three years.// (Memory Lost novel, T's Story)

//After the case, the man whom T viewed as an older brother and a God-like figure, disbanded the organization and disappeared.

Everybody including T who were still alive started living their own lives.

“I’m sorry, T,” that man said, “I promised you five years, but I only led you three years.”

But T smiled, “I will always follow your orders in my lifetime.”

That man nodded and didn’t look at him again. He stared at the setting sun that was like a blazing fire. // (Memory Lost novel, T's Story)

In the aftermath of the police raid on the syndicate's base, T was the one who carried S out of the ruins, and cared for him, standing up to the others in defense of S' wishes.

//"S's order was to send Su Mian to Jiangcheng to replace Bai Jinxi's identity after he and Su Mian were in a coma." R said, "And S has always had a cover-up, Xu Sibai, a forensic doctor. These years, S has also completed his studies in forensic medicine. Let him return to this status, a year later, he will be transferred to Jiangcheng. Then everything will start again."

Xu Nanbai smiled suddenly: "For the mentally ill, this is really a deathly romantic decision."

"We still have a choice." L raised his head and looked at everyone, "If S will also lose his memory, let them be with us and we can say that they are a pair. Then, S can fulfill his wish and he can be with her. He can do whatever he wants without much trouble."

As soon as he finished speaking, everyone calmed down. This approach violates the previous arrangement of S, but they are all predators, and this approach naturally suits them better.

"I object." T said, “This is not the idea of S.”

"Vote." R said.

There were results soon.

For L’s proposal, only T and Xu Nanbai opposed it. The reason for T’s objection is that S’wish must be respected; and Xu Nanbai's objection is because he thinks it is better to kill Su Mian.// (Memory Lost Prequel, Part 16)

//It was early in the morning one month later, everyone found that S and Su Mian were gone.

The hospital bed in the hut was empty. T and his gun disappeared together.

"Fuck!" L cursed lowly and sharp-eyed,he picked up a piece of letterhead left on the table, it was T’s handwriting, and there was only one sentence—

"That's not the life S wants."// (Memory Lost Prequel, Part 17)

While T kept up working as a hitman in S' absence, he sent half of his earnings to him to ensure his well-being, and occasionally checked in on Xu Sibai in his new life. It is also canon that he fell into a deep depression for some time after being parted from S and the rest of the syndicate.

#t all the way!!!#murder kitty was down so bad for dr warcrimes

Chen Pi Ah Si:

Listen. We know canonically Chen Pi is unhinged over his shifu's wife, but he's just as unhinged and Normal(tm) about Er Ye as he is about Ya Tou. He ripped a dude's face off for saying that Chen Pi might overtake Er Ye one day. He is the yandere flavour of a shizunfucker and you know it, and they deserve representation in this tournament as well

[truly-morgan]

[Gojo is back, but doesn't remember his love for Yuji]

GoYuu | Jujutsu Kaisen 11-03-2023

#goyuu inspired by one of @Mizuminnn  (hope ya don't mind) older threads, where Gojo and Yuji had an established relationship they kept secret. But when Gojo finally set himself free from the prison seal he doesn't have any memory after his high school years and asks for Suguru.

And poor Yuji, who had been so excited when he heard his sensei had finally been freed from his prison. Had run to find him, only to hear him call out for a familiar name he had heard before.

And when he met Gojo's eyes, Yuji did something he never did before.

he averted his eyes and looked down.

sure, he had done it before out of embarrassment when the older man would tease him.

but never out of fear, a cold feeling of danger creeping over him, as if something bad would happen if he held his gaze.

And then he learns that Gojo-sensei had forgotten everything that happened after his high school years.

No memories of his adulthood. No memories of his students. No memories of Nobara and Megumi.

No memories of Yuji.

Something fully breaks and dies in Yuji that day.

Since the Shibuya incident, Yuji's bright light in his eyes had been getting dimmer and dimmer, barely there. The hope of finally seeing his lover again had brightened it again.

only for it to barely burn anymore.

And every time he is ignored by his sensei. Every time the man calls him by his family name. Every time the man simply calls him student. Every time he mentions him being Sukuna's vessel with disdain.

The light dies a little bit more.

The first time Gojo called him Sukuna's vessel, in that same tone everyone always uses with him, Yuji couldn't help but flinch. Feeling like he had been punched in the gut.

He still answered the man's question about them being teachers and students.

Yuji didn't even try to tell the man about them. Something in him just knew this wasn't the Gojo he knew. That this Gojo's heart belonged to someone else.

and every time he was reminded of that, Yuji felt like his heart was dying a little bit more.

He tried not to cry, but on especially bad days it was hard not to.

He had lost and failed to save so many peoples.

had lived through hell with the Shibuya incident and the culling game.

Had lost one of his best friends.

Could barely see his other best friend because the higher up kept him busy and away from him.

Was reminded every day that he had lost the man he loved.

Yuji was strong, but he wasn't strong enough to shoulder everything.

So sometimes he cried. always locked away in his room, hugging tightly one of his sensei's jackets. It didn't smell like him anymore, but it was one of the last things he still had of him.

He had many keepsakes of Gojo.

Little trinket the man got him when he wasn't bringing back sweets. Some shirts he had forgotten in Yuji's room after spending the night.

Yuji also had many pictures of them together and alone from when Gojo would take him on dates or would hang out with him only. Looking at them hurts Yuji, to be able to see the way *his* Satoru was looking at him with so much love in his eyes in those pictures.

He only brings those things out when he feels like the void inside is too big. When he needs to see his lover again, even if it's only in a static image.

Yuji's will to go on and the old bright light has been extinguished.

All he can do is fight when asked to and finish getting the little that is left of Sukuna's fingers.

At least this time he won't feel guilty or worried that his sensei will have to kill someone he loves so dearly.

I'm a hopeful bitch tho and made myself cry at 8 in the morning because of this so I need some hopefulness in all this.

But maybe Gojo notices all of Yuji's pain, and maybe something deep inside of him wants to react to it, but cannot understand what it's all about.

But maybe Gojo, who doesn't fully trust Yuji now, decides to do a subtle search in his room too. Just to make sure Sukuna's vessel isn't hiding anything.

And then finds all of Yuji's precious keepsakes.

Maybe it throws him for a loop to see just what kind of looks he has in those pictures.

Was he close to this kid?

But if so, why didn't Itadori try to get along with him once more?

Although he remembers the way he's been treating the kid since he apparently got back from the prison and can maybe see why he didn't try.

So he tries to see for himself.

But it's really harder to do than he first thought.

He can tell his little student is trying to keep his distance from him, as if being close to him would inconvenience Gojo (maybe I would have thought so if I wasn't trying to get close to him tho...).

He notices the way Itadori won't look at him directly when he speaks to him. And every time he does he always looks like it hurts (maybe he looks at me he sees the Satoru from those pictures...).

He can also notice the way his eyes seem so listless compared to those photos...

And of course, from those times when he can talk with Itadori, he cannot get anything out of him about what exactly they were. He only gets forced smiles and pained eyes as he's told "I was just your student of course".

So Gojo decides to turn to others for help.

He asks the handful of other students. But none of them seems to fully know either. Though he does learn some things.

He learns about how much he had changed over the years. Of things, he feels like he would never have believed he would do one day. Learns that he was always all over his student, especially Itadori.

Even Fushiguro, who seems really close to Yuji despite Gojo and the higher up keeping him a little too busy to let him hang out with him, doesn't seem to know.

or well, that is what he is told. He can tell the teenager isn't saying everything that is on his mind about them, and that in itself is enough.

He even asks Ieiri, yet he's met with "I promised someone not to tell anything".

And it's really frustrating to hear one of his best friends saying she cannot tell him something important about HIS own damn life. Who is she even making that promise to for it to go over his own need for answer?

All he knows is that something had been going on between Itadori and himself. There was no way it was purely teacher-student.

So Gojo turns to himself. Surely, if there was something going on between the two of them he would also have something, right?

And he sure finds lots of things.

Little trinket he cannot imagine himself buying, nor the Gojo his student were talking about.

A box filled with handwritten notes about little gifts and food Itadori had made for him apparently.

Clothes that were obviously too small for him and looked really out of place with all the expensive clothing in his wardrobe.

It's only when he really got to his phone that he really found things. He had not gotten around to using it much since it was a lot different from what he remembers using and used it mostly for calls.

He had to bother Fushiguro about it to help him out. He still ended up accepting showing him properly how to find things properly on his phone.

Didn't take too long to find folder upon folder filled with pictures of Itadori.

"You got what you wanted, I'm out now," Fushiguro said, before mumbling a lot more quietly to himself, "I don't wanna see what kinda pic you took of him".

and so Gojo scrolled and scrolled through pictures, most having only Yuji in them, assuming they were both out of school for most of these.

But a lot of them didn't even have Yuji looking at the camera. Most were as if he had taken a picture without him knowing.

Then he found a folder with fewer pictures, but a lot of them were... a lot less appropriate. Why was he half-naked in a lot of those?

He decided to check the video folder instead of keep scrolling through this one.

"Yuuuuji~" he heard himself say as the video showed himself opening the teenager's door. Immediately Yuji is sitting up and turns towards him, eyes visibly liting up at seeing him happily calling back to him.

"Guess what I have for you?" the Gojo from the video sing-song, leaving the teenager to guess.

"sweets from your latest mission?" Yuji tries.

"Wrong~" he hears himself laugh, "I got you a cake and a gift~".

He can see himself placing the items on the table in the room, then panning back up at the teenager that looks happy but a little confused. "What's the special occasion sensei?" Yuji laugh.

"wha- It's your birthday today!".

The teenager then looked shocked, maybe from not having remembered himself or not thinking he would know about it. He can then hear Gojo explain that everyone wanted to give something to Yuji, but apparently, he the teenager himself had been busy all day.

"But before going to see everyone else I wanted my thank you kiss~" he can hear himself say, which makes the teenager blush a little and chuckle.

The video cuts as Yuji comes closer to him.

next video he plays he is met with the sleeping face of Yuji, which is only lit up by what he can assume to be the morning sun coming through the curtain. Then the picture gets blurry and even clearer again, as if the lens had been adjusted.

"Yuji~.... Yuuuji~" he can hear whispered, his own voice sounding foreignly soft and loving.

Then slowly the teenager wakes up, blinking the sleepiness away. His face immediately melts into something soft and loving, "Good morning Gojo-sensei" he says still sounding sleepy.

"Good morning, Yuji," he says. At the same time, it seems like Yuji notices the phone, because he looks directly at the camera and blushes, hiding in the pillow.

In this angle, Gojo can very clearly see hickies marking the teenager's neck and shoulder.

"sensei" he whines, "Why are you filming me so early in the morning?".

"Because my cute Yuji looked so adorable while sleeping and even more so when he wakes up, I wanted something to always remember that".

Yuji is still hiding in the pillow, although now he can see one eye poking out looking towards what he assumes to be his face. "But I don't have anything to remember sensei's sleeping face, you always wake up first" he says.

"Then next time Yuji must wake up earlier than me~"

There's more light-hearted arguing about the video, until Yuji request a kiss as payment for the video, to which Gojo says he must oblige before the video closes again.

all this searching on the phone left Gojo unsure.

Now he has a better idea of exactly what kind of relationship he had with Yuji. Understand better the reaction the young man has around him too. Understand better what this strange feeling inside of him is when he sees the teenager looking so pained or when looking at all those moments between them. As if something deep in him still remembered the loved he had for Yuji.

But he doesn't have the memory that goes with it.

and now he wonders what he should do....

(I just realise this might as well but a future fanfic with a potentially happy ending because that was a lot longer than I intended it to be)

Also, do check out the original thread by Mizu, it made me wanna cry when I woke up at 6.30 in the morning

Original

[nugothrhythms]

"She fades away," a 2020 single by by Genoa, Italy-based trad-style goth act Memory Lost

[old-dramas]

Memory Lost (2016) S01E02

[insiemes]

[marune2]

Devil Nacht Au one shot whit oc’s

Josele is @loosesodamarble oc

The other are mine

Summary

Nacht get’s turn into a devil and is not himself Morgan cry josele don’t know what too do and Ida is crying

—————————————

Morgan Open he’s eyes slowly why lay he on the ground? What happened oh right!!!

Nacht Standing up and see tow glowing eyes staring at him Nacht? Wait something is wrong are this horns?

Nacht:……….

Morgan:B-Brother?“he‘s brother is a devil?!

Nacht:…..

Nacht:Mor-Morgan?……….“stating at him

Morgan Go Slowly to Nacht and hugging him:Brother are you ok? What happened

Nacht:Morgan…….you are Morgan???

Morgan:yes It’s my brother……..what happened do you remember wo you are?

Nacht:you are Morgan?……..,,,“growling but not aggressiv just irritated

Morgan:yes It’s my Nacht……..

Nacht:…….?!“then choked Nacht up :devil…..child……

Morgan:Devil Child? Nacht What?

Nacht:Child“staring at a Grimm shadow

What Morgan see oh No ida?!

Nacht growling aggressive now:devil child……“go in the shadow fast and go away

Morgan run he did run so Fast to Ida what will Nacht do

He hear Ida screaming and crying in agony he is scared never so much today

As he came on see he how Nacht hugging Ida wait ida have horns to and small wings like Nacht what the?

Ida crying in Nacht’s hug

Nacht:Devil Child………devil child

Morgan:Nacht? Ida? Are you okay?“is scared for Ida and Nacht

Ida:Morgy I’m sorry I’m Sorry I’m a bad child“crying

Nacht:devil child Morgan? „Growling again

Morgan:Ida……you are not….what happened

Ida:ur Parents happen bad devil happened Nachty is hurt“crying

Nacht:upset……“growling and hugging Ida More

Morgan:now you tow can I come closer?

Nacht:Devil Child upset Morgan?

Morgan:I’m here can I help Nacht?

Nacht’s tail waging but let’s Morgan go closer to them and hugging them and looking at Ida what did happen what did Lucifugus do to them? And why Ida? And not him?

Morgan:shhhhh it’s ok Nacht and ida come let’s go in my room ok?

Nacht:…..upset….Nest devil child Nest……..upset…..

Morgan?:yes Nest now come ok?

Morgan take’s Nacht’s Hand wo hold ida wo is now sniffing and go in he’s room lucky Nacht take’s him and ida well

After a wile Nacht and ida cuddling up whit him Morgan getting the chance to ask josele for help and julius

———————

Josele did never so run Fast in her life she whas the first one wo came on she run so fast too Nacht’s room

Josele:Morgan what’s happened?! Are Nacht and Ida ok?!??

Then hear she a growling a deangerus one and then Morgan

Morgan:NO BROTHER IT‘S JOSIE!!!!

Mans she hear Ida crying out :Nachty!!!!

Josele smash the door wire open but get’s pin to the ground she see tow glowing eyes wait Nacht what?!

Morgan hold on Nacht and scream:BROTHER DON,T IT‘S JOSELE SHE IS NO HARM!!!!!!

Nacht glaring at josele and bare he’s fangs at her :upset……….

Josele:Nacht It’s my….What happened?….“is unsure and scared why have Nacht horns and wings and claws and….

Morgan:I don’t know….ur parents did whit brothers a devil summoning ritual but it’s did. gone wrong as I wake up he and Ida are devils I don’t know what to do……

Josele breath deep no fast movement or other provocation she don’t know what Nacht will do

Nacht:upset……..Morgan? Woman???

Josele:it’s my josele josie don’t you remember???

Nacht:j-Josele???jo?sel-jo-sel???? Upset

Ida:josy……Nachty!!!!“crying again

Nacht looking to ida and go fast to her und hugging her protective „devil child upset……

Josele:what are we going to do?

Morgan:I don’t know….we wait if julius arrive and hope he can help if Not Nacht Ida and I will running away……

Josele:I’m here for your ok? I coming whit you if it’s coming hart of hart ok? But captain will know how to help for sure……:

Morgan:I Hope so…..

Open end

[fandoestrans]

[ENG TRANSLATION] Bai Yu on filming kiss scenes in <Memory Lost>

"I think kiss scenes are really hard to film. Y'know why? Because 1. You have to make the kiss look good. 2. You have to put emotion in the kiss. 3. You have to still remember your lines and your next actions. I was so nervous.

I didn't forget my lines or anything like that, but I really was so nervous and I could feel how fast my heart beat was, I could feel it thudding like dundundundun.

I remember it so clearly, as soon as the director said CUT after filming that scene, every staff member there burst out laughing. I had no idea what was going on. I turned around to look in the mirror and there was lipstick all over my face. It was pretty funny."

[afza147]

Quick thought on latest update of queen of tears..by watching timeline and spoiler.

So writernim decide to make a memory loss to save hae in..so it's going to amnesiac plot

Well the writernim could choose to include in very begining..instead of drag to ep13..with much mess and death tears.

But hae in refuse well I think she eventually will do it in ep14/15...and remember back in ep16

But good news she not dying again right?

Since she not doing the surgery yet..I will watch on timeline and spoiler only ..

Maybe or maybe not rewatch back

[merinnan]

An excellent first meeting

[whitedahlia13]

Remember my heart. Remember how I loved you. Remember me as the softest whisper of your soul. Remember me.

-N.R. Hart, Remember me

[nemainofthewater]

Best characters surnamed: Xin

Come and vote for the best characters with the same surname!*

What does best mean? It's up to you! Whether you love them, are intrigued by their characters, love to hate them, or they're your '2 second blorbos whose personality you made up wholesale', these are all reasons for you to vote for your favs!

*note, the surnames are not exactly the same in all the cases, as often there will be a different character. I am, however, grouping them all together otherwise things got more complicated.

Propaganda is very welcome! If I’ve forgotten anyone, let me know in the notes.

This is part of a larger series of ‘best character with X surname’ polls’. The overview with ongoing polls, winners, and future polls can be found here

[ultimateshixiongfuckertournament]

Noncanonicals Tournament Round 1, Match 3

Match 3 is between Lin Nansheng from The Rebel (shizun/mentor: Chen Moqun) and Xie Lu / T from Memory Lost (shizun/mentor: Xu Sibai / S)

Propaganda under the cut! (Warning: Propaganda may include spoilers about the characters and their media)

Lin Nansheng:

None submitted

Xie Lu / T:

Xie Lu, codename T, is a member of the Alphabet Syndicate, and leader S's personal project. From a young age, Xie Lu displayed an uncanny aptitude for sharp-shooting. When his dream of going to a specialized school for training, and ultimately competing in the Olympics, was destroyed by his own father, Xie Lu left home, living off the land in the mountains. It was here, when he was fifteen, that he was approached by S, promising to train him in the art of killing, honing his already-excellent skills with a gun into something perfect.

//From fifteen to twenty-three years old, T followed him for eight years.

But he only stayed by his side for the first three years.// (Memory Lost novel, T's Story)

//After the case, the man whom T viewed as an older brother and a God-like figure, disbanded the organization and disappeared.

Everybody including T who were still alive started living their own lives.

“I’m sorry, T,” that man said, “I promised you five years, but I only led you three years.”

But T smiled, “I will always follow your orders in my lifetime.”

That man nodded and didn’t look at him again. He stared at the setting sun that was like a blazing fire. // (Memory Lost novel, T's Story)

In the aftermath of the police raid on the syndicate's base, T was the one who carried S out of the ruins, and cared for him, standing up to the others in defense of S' wishes.

//"S's order was to send Su Mian to Jiangcheng to replace Bai Jinxi's identity after he and Su Mian were in a coma." R said, "And S has always had a cover-up, Xu Sibai, a forensic doctor. These years, S has also completed his studies in forensic medicine. Let him return to this status, a year later, he will be transferred to Jiangcheng. Then everything will start again."

Xu Nanbai smiled suddenly: "For the mentally ill, this is really a deathly romantic decision."

"We still have a choice." L raised his head and looked at everyone, "If S will also lose his memory, let them be with us and we can say that they are a pair. Then, S can fulfill his wish and he can be with her. He can do whatever he wants without much trouble."

As soon as he finished speaking, everyone calmed down. This approach violates the previous arrangement of S, but they are all predators, and this approach naturally suits them better.

"I object." T said, “This is not the idea of S.”

"Vote." R said.

There were results soon.

For L’s proposal, only T and Xu Nanbai opposed it. The reason for T’s objection is that S’wish must be respected; and Xu Nanbai's objection is because he thinks it is better to kill Su Mian.// (Memory Lost Prequel, Part 16)

//It was early in the morning one month later, everyone found that S and Su Mian were gone.

The hospital bed in the hut was empty. T and his gun disappeared together.

"Fuck!" L cursed lowly and sharp-eyed,he picked up a piece of letterhead left on the table, it was T’s handwriting, and there was only one sentence—

"That's not the life S wants."// (Memory Lost Prequel, Part 17)

While T kept up working as a hitman in S' absence, he sent half of his earnings to him to ensure his well-being, and occasionally checked in on Xu Sibai in his new life. It is also canon that he fell into a deep depression for some time after being parted from S and the rest of the syndicate.