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truly-morgan · 1 year ago

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[Gojo is back, but doesn't remember his love for Yuji]

GoYuu | Jujutsu Kaisen 11-03-2023

#goyuu inspired by one of @Mizuminnn (hope ya don't mind) older threads, where Gojo and Yuji had an established relationship they kept secret. But when Gojo finally set himself free from the prison seal he doesn't have any memory after his high school years and asks for Suguru.

And poor Yuji, who had been so excited when he heard his sensei had finally been freed from his prison. Had run to find him, only to hear him call out for a familiar name he had heard before.

And when he met Gojo's eyes, Yuji did something he never did before.

he averted his eyes and looked down.

sure, he had done it before out of embarrassment when the older man would tease him.

but never out of fear, a cold feeling of danger creeping over him, as if something bad would happen if he held his gaze.

And then he learns that Gojo-sensei had forgotten everything that happened after his high school years.

No memories of his adulthood. No memories of his students. No memories of Nobara and Megumi.

No memories of Yuji.

Something fully breaks and dies in Yuji that day.

Since the Shibuya incident, Yuji's bright light in his eyes had been getting dimmer and dimmer, barely there. The hope of finally seeing his lover again had brightened it again.

only for it to barely burn anymore.

And every time he is ignored by his sensei. Every time the man calls him by his family name. Every time the man simply calls him student. Every time he mentions him being Sukuna's vessel with disdain.

The light dies a little bit more.

The first time Gojo called him Sukuna's vessel, in that same tone everyone always uses with him, Yuji couldn't help but flinch. Feeling like he had been punched in the gut.

He still answered the man's question about them being teachers and students.

Yuji didn't even try to tell the man about them. Something in him just knew this wasn't the Gojo he knew. That this Gojo's heart belonged to someone else.

and every time he was reminded of that, Yuji felt like his heart was dying a little bit more.

He tried not to cry, but on especially bad days it was hard not to.

He had lost and failed to save so many peoples.

had lived through hell with the Shibuya incident and the culling game.

Had lost one of his best friends.

Could barely see his other best friend because the higher up kept him busy and away from him.

Was reminded every day that he had lost the man he loved.

Yuji was strong, but he wasn't strong enough to shoulder everything.

So sometimes he cried. always locked away in his room, hugging tightly one of his sensei's jackets. It didn't smell like him anymore, but it was one of the last things he still had of him.

He had many keepsakes of Gojo.

Little trinket the man got him when he wasn't bringing back sweets. Some shirts he had forgotten in Yuji's room after spending the night.

Yuji also had many pictures of them together and alone from when Gojo would take him on dates or would hang out with him only. Looking at them hurts Yuji, to be able to see the way *his* Satoru was looking at him with so much love in his eyes in those pictures.

He only brings those things out when he feels like the void inside is too big. When he needs to see his lover again, even if it's only in a static image.

Yuji's will to go on and the old bright light has been extinguished.

All he can do is fight when asked to and finish getting the little that is left of Sukuna's fingers.

At least this time he won't feel guilty or worried that his sensei will have to kill someone he loves so dearly.

I'm a hopeful bitch tho and made myself cry at 8 in the morning because of this so I need some hopefulness in all this.

But maybe Gojo notices all of Yuji's pain, and maybe something deep inside of him wants to react to it, but cannot understand what it's all about.

But maybe Gojo, who doesn't fully trust Yuji now, decides to do a subtle search in his room too. Just to make sure Sukuna's vessel isn't hiding anything.

And then finds all of Yuji's precious keepsakes.

Maybe it throws him for a loop to see just what kind of looks he has in those pictures.

Was he close to this kid?

But if so, why didn't Itadori try to get along with him once more?

Although he remembers the way he's been treating the kid since he apparently got back from the prison and can maybe see why he didn't try.

So he tries to see for himself.

But it's really harder to do than he first thought.

He can tell his little student is trying to keep his distance from him, as if being close to him would inconvenience Gojo (maybe I would have thought so if I wasn't trying to get close to him tho...).

He notices the way Itadori won't look at him directly when he speaks to him. And every time he does he always looks like it hurts (maybe he looks at me he sees the Satoru from those pictures...).

He can also notice the way his eyes seem so listless compared to those photos...

And of course, from those times when he can talk with Itadori, he cannot get anything out of him about what exactly they were. He only gets forced smiles and pained eyes as he's told "I was just your student of course".

So Gojo decides to turn to others for help.

He asks the handful of other students. But none of them seems to fully know either. Though he does learn some things.

He learns about how much he had changed over the years. Of things, he feels like he would never have believed he would do one day. Learns that he was always all over his student, especially Itadori.

Even Fushiguro, who seems really close to Yuji despite Gojo and the higher up keeping him a little too busy to let him hang out with him, doesn't seem to know.

or well, that is what he is told. He can tell the teenager isn't saying everything that is on his mind about them, and that in itself is enough.

He even asks Ieiri, yet he's met with "I promised someone not to tell anything".

And it's really frustrating to hear one of his best friends saying she cannot tell him something important about HIS own damn life. Who is she even making that promise to for it to go over his own need for answer?

All he knows is that something had been going on between Itadori and himself. There was no way it was purely teacher-student.

So Gojo turns to himself. Surely, if there was something going on between the two of them he would also have something, right?

And he sure finds lots of things.

Little trinket he cannot imagine himself buying, nor the Gojo his student were talking about.

A box filled with handwritten notes about little gifts and food Itadori had made for him apparently.

Clothes that were obviously too small for him and looked really out of place with all the expensive clothing in his wardrobe.

It's only when he really got to his phone that he really found things. He had not gotten around to using it much since it was a lot different from what he remembers using and used it mostly for calls.

He had to bother Fushiguro about it to help him out. He still ended up accepting showing him properly how to find things properly on his phone.

Didn't take too long to find folder upon folder filled with pictures of Itadori.

"You got what you wanted, I'm out now," Fushiguro said, before mumbling a lot more quietly to himself, "I don't wanna see what kinda pic you took of him".

and so Gojo scrolled and scrolled through pictures, most having only Yuji in them, assuming they were both out of school for most of these.

But a lot of them didn't even have Yuji looking at the camera. Most were as if he had taken a picture without him knowing.

Then he found a folder with fewer pictures, but a lot of them were... a lot less appropriate. Why was he half-naked in a lot of those?

He decided to check the video folder instead of keep scrolling through this one.

"Yuuuuji~" he heard himself say as the video showed himself opening the teenager's door. Immediately Yuji is sitting up and turns towards him, eyes visibly liting up at seeing him happily calling back to him.

"Guess what I have for you?" the Gojo from the video sing-song, leaving the teenager to guess.

"sweets from your latest mission?" Yuji tries.

"Wrong~" he hears himself laugh, "I got you a cake and a gift~".

He can see himself placing the items on the table in the room, then panning back up at the teenager that looks happy but a little confused. "What's the special occasion sensei?" Yuji laugh.

"wha- It's your birthday today!".

The teenager then looked shocked, maybe from not having remembered himself or not thinking he would know about it. He can then hear Gojo explain that everyone wanted to give something to Yuji, but apparently, he the teenager himself had been busy all day.

"But before going to see everyone else I wanted my thank you kiss~" he can hear himself say, which makes the teenager blush a little and chuckle.

The video cuts as Yuji comes closer to him.

next video he plays he is met with the sleeping face of Yuji, which is only lit up by what he can assume to be the morning sun coming through the curtain. Then the picture gets blurry and even clearer again, as if the lens had been adjusted.

"Yuji~.... Yuuuji~" he can hear whispered, his own voice sounding foreignly soft and loving.

Then slowly the teenager wakes up, blinking the sleepiness away. His face immediately melts into something soft and loving, "Good morning Gojo-sensei" he says still sounding sleepy.

"Good morning, Yuji," he says. At the same time, it seems like Yuji notices the phone, because he looks directly at the camera and blushes, hiding in the pillow.

In this angle, Gojo can very clearly see hickies marking the teenager's neck and shoulder.

"sensei" he whines, "Why are you filming me so early in the morning?".

"Because my cute Yuji looked so adorable while sleeping and even more so when he wakes up, I wanted something to always remember that".

Yuji is still hiding in the pillow, although now he can see one eye poking out looking towards what he assumes to be his face. "But I don't have anything to remember sensei's sleeping face, you always wake up first" he says.

"Then next time Yuji must wake up earlier than me~"

There's more light-hearted arguing about the video, until Yuji request a kiss as payment for the video, to which Gojo says he must oblige before the video closes again.

all this searching on the phone left Gojo unsure.

Now he has a better idea of exactly what kind of relationship he had with Yuji. Understand better the reaction the young man has around him too. Understand better what this strange feeling inside of him is when he sees the teenager looking so pained or when looking at all those moments between them. As if something deep in him still remembered the loved he had for Yuji.

But he doesn't have the memory that goes with it.

and now he wonders what he should do....

(I just realise this might as well but a future fanfic with a potentially happy ending because that was a lot longer than I intended it to be)

Also, do check out the original thread by Mizu, it made me wanna cry when I woke up at 6.30 in the morning

Original

#my writing #tweet archive #short story #jujutsu kaisen #goyuu #satoru gojo #yuji itadori #memory lost #jujutsu kaisen spoilers #gojo forgot yuji #angst #investogating to find memories #yuji needs a hug #2k - 1k words

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