#im going to hold off judgement until this finishes

[saeraas]

woke up to people genuinely fighting that toji is a better dad than gojo to megumi because of the leaks hello everyone

[jyoongim]

Be Nice

Chrollo x Zoldyck reader

*Silva and zeno meets reader’s lover

He just so happen to be who the mafia hired them to kill

And who silva has beef with*

“I kind of feel bad for these guys, they were nice” y/n stated as she followed Chrollo through the hallways of the hotel. The mafia had hired several assassins, including y/n, to take out the ‘lone’ thief. Y/n had told him of the situation when she arrived at the hotel and Chrollo had taken each of them out effortlessly. “You know how serious it had to be for them to us in? Theyre still having the audition so i dont get why they wanted to come after us, its not like we stole it…yet” she huffed at the shaggy-haired man. He hummed as they approached double doors. The room was empty. “Well wait for the last few to come to us” chrollo said hopping the stage. y/n shrugged as she sat down. “How did that date go? The fortune girl?” she asked annoyed. Chrollo looked at her with a smirk “jealous?” y/n crossed her arms and looked away with a heated face “well you didnt kill her” chrollo was about to say something when the doors opened and two men came in. 

y/n eyes widened when she saw her dad and grandfather enter. Illumi had said dad and grandfather had been called in for a job, but he didnt mention it was to kill chrollo…oooohh just wait til she called him.

“Dad?” the zoldyck men gave her a confused look

Chrollo turned to face them “well we meet again” y/n cocked an eyebrow at him and looked back to the men. Again? They met? When was this?

Silva spoke up “you remember me?”. Chrollo smirked “you did kill one of my people”

y/n eyes bucked WHAT!? Chrollo jumped from the stage to approach the men with his aura flaring. y/n had never seen chrollo fight before; she was torn on whether to help or just watch. Y/n knew that Chrollo could hold his own, but if her folks were paid to kill him that meant they trying to do maximum damage. Grandfather had finally got him cornered and Silver was sparking up to try to finish him off. Y/n had had enough of this quarrel. She knew she couldnt do anything to stop her father’s attack, but she could deflect it. She jumped in front of Zeno just as Silva release his orbs and released her hatsu. 

“Y/n!-” the orbs stopped upon touching her hatsu boundary and slowly merged until they exploded, the excess energy knocked y/n back a few feet and the impact force destroyed the wall behind her resulting in rubble coming down onto her, zeno, and chrollo.

“...!”

“y/n!”

“Y/n!”

y/n tossed the debris off her and emerged from the rubble looking at her father as her  grandfather and chrollo too emerged and dusted themselves off. She rushed to chrollo’s side and briefly looked him over. Turning to her folks she crossed her arms and was about to give them an ear full when chrollo voiced “I didnt know you could use Hatsu” 

Zeno scoffed “Of course she can use Hatsu. Any zoldyck is trained to unlock all potential of their Nen…its good see that your hatsu manifested nicely dear” y/n blinked and blushed, stuttering out “W-well I wouldnt have had to use it if you guys werent so extreme”. Silva just stared at her.

As chrollo and grandfather talked a bit, her phone rang and it was Illumi. 

“Illu you ass! You didnt tell me that dad and grandfather were hired to take chrollo out!” y/n shrieked into the phone. “Hmm where’s my client?” “Client?” “Yes chrollo hired me to take out the Mafia since they put a hit out on him” “Well hes here” “Good tell him to wire the money into the account, he know the one” y/n grumbled into the phone “Im taking half since you didnt tell me that dad was trying to off my boyfriend” “Whatever y/n” she hung up and turned to her father. “Dad -” “Boyfriend” he huffed as he crossed his arms over his chest. y/n immediately felt like a teenager all over again, but she wasnt backing on this one “yes boyfriend dad. I told you i had been seeing someone…please be nice” Silva was giving her that dad look of judgement. She huffed and when Chrollo and Zeno approached she looped her arm in chrollo’s and straightened her back “Dad, grandfather this is chrollo, my boyfriend…I wanted to at least make this a somewhat normal introduction” Silva and chrollo just stared at each other in deathly silence. Zeno laughed “well at least one grandchild of mine got the guts” he turned to Silva “Dont give her such a hard time” he walked towards the exist and Silva moved to follow. Chrollo was already making a move to leve as well. Y/n pouted and went to follow, when she felt her father’s hand ruffle her hair. She smiled slightly and looked after them as they left “Tell mother I said hello!” and ran to catch up to chrollo.  

It was a quiet walk out of the hotel…too quiet. “Sooooo you never said anything about meeting my dad before what was that beef?” y/n tried to pry as they walked to sidewalk. Chrollo side-eyed her before answering “We met a few years ago and fought because he killed one of my people” y/n winced slightly but continued “that didnt seem to deter you from pursuing me or were you gonna kill me?” chrollo let out a deep sigh and wrapped a arm loosely around her waist as they walked “I admit it crossed my mind when we met, but you seduced me faster than I realized” y/n gawked at him “SECUDED?!” he gave a soft smile as y/n grumbled. “Besides I didn think your father would have let me walked away alive dating his daughter how you sway him?” y/n giggled “you might not know this but im the only girl. I am automatically forgiven for this obvious offense plus he’s secretly ok with it he’s just playing mr tough dad, so be nice too”

[sleepy-achilles]

Man me and my homies hate Dom.

So I wrote a fic about it. What's this? Cea content? Oh jeez

Um I started this and never finished it. I thought I'd try to finish it. But I have no fucking idea what I was going for so, enjoy, I guess?

------------------------------------------------------------------

Leon is sat, eyes closed, head down, mind shutting out the world as he prepares himself for his match tonight. Its going well until he hears the scream.

His eyes snap open causing Sheamus to jump. Leon stares at sheamus who's in the middle of tying his shoelaces together. Sheamus scrambles back and Leon snaps his fingers, a shadow fixing his shoelaces. "Did you hear that?" Leon asks standing up. "Yeah, sounded like cassie." Sheamus answers. "It was. Shits just hit the fan" Drew states nodding at the tv. Leon glances to see Dom and Liv.

"Shouldn't she be glad about that?" Sheamus asks. "No. Because it means Rhea has just be betrayed." Leon mutters moving towards the tv. "And you don't betray family."

-

Cassie is shaking with anger. "You need to breathe." Lucian tries. "No you need to find that pig and kill him." Jeanne snaps. Lucian looks at the French woman. "No. No. I need to find Jey Uso and then find Leon." Cassie growls. "Leon's in his lockeroom." Lucian states. "But we will go find Jey. What shall you do?" Jeanne asks. "Im going to find judgement day."

----

Drew watches Leon. The man is sat, elbows on knees, hands cupped infront of his face. Eyes closed.

"Seeing him think so hard is scary." Sheamus whispers. "Hes not thinking. He's searching." Drew mutters as the door swings open. "Leon!" Cassie barks. Leon sighs and lowers his hands. "What Cassidy?" Leon sighs. "Where is he?" She demands. Drew moves towards Leon as the judgement day move into the room. "You should be checking in on rhea." Leon states. "We need dom!" Leon stands and Cassie moves forward. "Im not scared of you. You owe me." Cassie growls. Leon chuckles and tilts his head down. "You should be scared of me." Leon mutters. "And last time I checked, I not only kept your little secret but I took the fall. You owe me." Leon growls. Cassie winces and steps back.

"But, because I care for Rhea...I'll help. But I'm not doing this for you. No. I'm doing it for her, so go be by her side, because right now that's what she needs more than you on a manhunt. I'm sure me and these toys can handle it." Leon's eyes burn into Finn. "Fine. Okay. Just get it done." Cassie mutters moving away.

Leon tilts his head and smiles. "Mmm Jey Uso and the judgement day coming to me for help" Leon chuckles moving towards them. Drew can't help but smile as the big tough group tense. Leon circles finn. "Though are you here for a different reason" Leon hums. Finn grabs his arm causing Drew to move forward. Leon holds his free hand out. "No. Its okay Drew. Finn won't hurt me. He's not stupid enough for that" Leon smirks as he examines Finns face.

"You know I wouldn't do anything to hurt Rhea." "No but you'd do anything for power." Leon points out.

He suddenly pulls Finn close. "I find out you had anything to do with this. You sent your little toy after Rhea, I'll do more than hurt you." "I know." Finn mutters. Leon examines him.

"Youll find Dom in Livs hotel room. I'd like a word with him boys so play nicely." Leon smirks. Finn goes to leave when Leon grabs his arm. "Oh no baby, I aint done with you." Leon snarls. The judgement day look at him. "Priest. You have a match, go be with rhea. The rest of you go get dom dom." Leon hums. Damien nods and they walk off.

Leon waits.

He turns his attention back to Finn. "You do it tonight. That's a order." Leon tells him quietly getting both Sheamus and Drews attention. "With that shit dom just pulled? That isn't smart." "I don't give two shits. I'm getting impatient Finn, and we know what that leads to" Leon hums letting finn go. Finn looks down. "Get the job done. Because if I have too do it, none of you will like it. Tonight or else, now get the fuck out of my sight." Leon snaps. "Yessir." Finn mutters before leaving. "What are you doing?" Drew demands. "Getting my own way. Like always" Leon shrugs pacing slightly.

"Mm what a interesting turn of events hey? A love triangle. But Doms not even in it" leon chuckles. "I think he is" sheamus states. "Oh god no. Livs attraction has always been Rhea. She wants her attention, and she's got that now. Let's just hope Cassie doesn't realise that" Leon smirks as he sits back down. "Now go make daddy proud" Leon smirks at Drew. Drew rolls his eyes. "Dont call yourself daddy, its weird." Drew huffs grabbing Leon's chin. Leon allows his head to be tilted back. "You might have power over these people, this company. But remember who holds your leash, Mutt." Drew whispers. Leon can't help but smirk as drew kisses him before he's shoved back against the sofa to watch the bigger man walk away. "You two are strangely hot." "Nothin strange about love."

--

Rhea opens her eyes as a pain shoots through her shoulder. "Sorry. Leon said he'd fix it after his match" cassie whispers planting a kiss on Rheas okay shoulder. Rhea sighs. "You ain't too upset about dom and liv are ya?" Cassie asks quietly. Rhea glances at her. "Im upset he would betray us. But I'm glad I no longer have to play lovers with him." Rhea admits. "Whats Leon going do to him?" Rhea asks. "Um..not too sure. He's not happy about this though" cassie admits turning the tv on. "Hey maybe I could join the judgement day. We can have a romance on screen" cassie wiggles her eyebrows.

Rhea chuckles and takes her hand. "Nah. I'd do the romance part, but I wouldn't burden you with being in jd. Infact...only Damien was in touch and open to me when I was gone. Something bad is going on cass." Rhea sighs resting her head on cassies tense shoulder. "Cas?" "Oh bad." She whispers.

Rhea looks to see Finns betrayal. "Hey, it's okay, maybe it isn't bad bad." "Cassidy, I'm watching my family get destroyed in one night. Do you understand how bad that is?" "Yeah..my family atleast does that once a week to keep things interesting. Trust me, I get it. But maybe, maybe JD was ment to end, so the terror twins could shine" cassie tries. "It doesn't make me feel any better." Rhea whispers looking down. "I know baby. Trust me. I know. Its been a rough night. But as a faction member myself, these things never truly last in the wwe. Its all about the crown" cassie sighs.

Rhea looks up. "The crown." She whispers glancing at cassie. Cassie stands. "Dont." Cassie warns. "Leon. How long did you know?" Rhea asks. Cassie turns the tv off. "You don't question the way of the devil." She states. "Like hell we don't." Rhea snaps standing. Cassie looks at her. "I love you so I'm telling you right now. Do not push it. Not now. Hell is melting. And Leon has big plans." Cassie sighs. Rhea raises an eyebrow. She kisses cassie. "I love you. But I aint scared of him." Before she walks off. Cassie groans.

----(i lost what my story was mid way through the last paragraph of this)

Leon smirks as Drew walks through the curtain. Drew immediately smiles at the blond, grabbing him by the waist and pulling him into a kiss. "Mmm you did amazing." Leon smiles grabbing the back of Drews neck. "You were right about that stupid fucking bracelet." Drew chuckles holding his wrist up. Leon plants a kiss on the name, AJ. "Come home princess." He whispers against it before lowering Drews wrist. "Its going to be a hot day in hell Monday." Leon smirks. "Good. Was getting cold." Drew mutters tugging Leon closer.

"What did you do!"

Leon groans and hits his head against Drews chest. "Right when I was about to get some." Leon groans. He pulls and turns. " Rhea, I'm sorry, I was on my way to heal you" Leon forces a smile. "What the fuck Leon! Damien and finn! Dom!" "Dom was his own thing. Like uncle like nephew if you ask me." Leon admits. "So you had something to do with finn?" "Me and Finn, the Prince has an arrangement. One we made before he turned to the dark side. He was taking to long, I gave him a much needed push." Leon states. "What?" "He was always going to betray Damien, rhea. Finn was in it for power. Damien took that. It was never going to last." Leon explains.

Rhea stares at him. "Easier Leon." Drew whispers. Leon sighs. "Im sorry Rhea. But if finn had the power, judgement day could of survived. But finn did his job and had nothing left to gain from you guys." Leon explains. He places a hand on her injured shoulder. Rhea watches as his shoulder pops in and out of place as hers heals. "Im sorry for that Rhea I am. But I had nothing to do with Dom or the actions that led to Finn." Leon promises. "The judgement day is still alive Leon" Rhea shoves him. "Me and Damien are now just outsiders!" She barks. Leon grabs her wrist and pulls her closer. "And the terror twins will run the judgement day into the ground. They will be stronger than ever before. If you have the courage to go there" Leon tells her quietly. Rhea stares at him.

"What do I need to do?"

Leon smiles brightly at her.

"Thats my girl."

Drew frowns at Leon. This is way more than just Punk at this point. And that's starting to worry him.

--

Cassie stares at rhea and Leon, trying so hard to focus on the shitshow that's become Cody's match. She worries. Of course she does. "My girlfriend is making a deal with the devil. And there's nothing I can do." She whispers. "Eh happens to the best of us. How'd you think I married your father?" Shawn asks watching Cody's match. Hunter scoffs. "Your not going to try stop Leon?" "Why should I?" Shawn asks. This gets both hunter and cassie to stare at him. Shawn sighs at the feeling. "Look, I've been in this game for too long for this. You don't get involved unless asked. Trust me" Shawn tells her. "He sees potential in Rhea. He sees her as a little sister. Has done for many years now. He would never let harm come to her, I promise you that. Why do you think he's angry at dom? Just leave it. Stay out of it Cassie. Just because your his sister does not mean he will let you off lightly for getting involved in his business. Same goes for me, John and taker. It's his business. Not ours" Shawn warns her.

"Uh" hunter suddenly pipes up. Cassie and Shawn look to see Roman walking past them out through the curtain. "Did...was.." cassie trails off. Cassie looks to see Leon smirking. No. No Leon couldn't of even known that.

And no, Leon didn't. Leon stands and moves to the tv, standing behind his papa and sister. "Well. This is interesting." Leon smiles. "You have something to do with this?" Rhea asks. "Oh god no. Woulda been my best work ever" Leon chuckles as roman shocks everyone by helping Cody.

"Now this....this is fascinating" Leon whispers, almost in awe. "Leave the man alone Leon." Shawn tuts. "Mmm don't ruin my fun papa." Leon chuckles moving to the curtain as Roman stands at the stage staring at Cody.

"That boy." Shawn sighs watching.

Drew dries his hair and turns to the tv where Lucian and Sheamus is gathered. "What is Lee doing?" Sheamus sighs. Drew moves closer to see Roman. Drew cocks an eyebrow.

Roman senses him straight away. "Leon." He mutters as the man stands next to him. The men look at each other. Leon smiles widely, and Roman finds himself smiling. "Welcome back brother." Leon holds his hand out. Roman glances down at the hand. "We have a lot to discuss." Roman states accepting the hand. To his surprise Leon pulls him into a hug. "Yes we do" Leon whispers as roman hugs him back.

"Since when were they friends?" Sheamus asks. Lucian smiles. "They were always brothers. They just never acknowledged it. Now they both have similar motives...the wwe is about to change."

[milesmoraleswife4l]

Miles 1610 X Nigerian Y/N

notes: nigga when I tell you this took my too long to make. Like writing this is not for the weak bruh

warnings: jus fluff ig

summary: y/n takes miles to meet her nigerian parents. ( im nigerian so umm yea)

��Miles, they are not going to like you if you don't take this seriously.” You said this for the 15th time. Miles is coming with you to a party your parents are throwing at your house. You thought it would be a good time to introduce them to Miles for the first time. As much as you were excited, you were hella nervous because this was the first time you ever brought into this household. And not just any household, but a Nigerian one at that. 

Miles needed to understand that one wrong move will ultimately end in your mom gossiping to all your aunts and your dad to the uncles saying, “ arabinrin mi, o ko ni gbagbọ aṣiwère ti ọmọbinrin wa mu fun wa lati pade oh.” (my sister, you won't believe the fool our daughter has brought back for us to meet oh) 

It's like you could hear it from a mile away. The thought made you sweat bullets because you know that they'll never approve if they have a horrible introduction to each other. “ No Miles try again, that's not right! C’mon you actually have to try. “ You said about just giving up and saying maybe this isn't the right time for him to meet them. ‘’Mami por que te preocupas tanto?’’ He said coming closer to hold your waist. “ because you don't know my parents, they're super judgemental and really strict. Like they didn't want me to even think about boys until i was at the ripe age of 30.’’ “ Thats crazy.’’ He said while laughing. 

 ‘Not its not, because as much as i love you, i need our parents to support our relationship.’’ you said as you were pacing around your room. ‘’ Ok ok I understand. Tell me what I need to do and I'll do it ok?” he said while grabbing both of your sides and engulfing you in a warm hug. And you sigh as you take in a pleasant whiff of his cologne.

TIME SKIP

Miles rang the doorbell to your parents house. “ remember everything i taught you please, and just be yourself at the same time.’’ you said while giving him a nervous smile. ‘’ Don't worry mami everything will be ok’’ He said wanting to give you a kiss but the door flew open.’’ e kassan mommy this is Miles” you said very sweetly to your mom. “ ekassan ma o dara pupọ o pade rẹ” Miles said while bending down to greet your mom. You just stand there; completely shook because you never taught him all of that. ‘’ Here are some roses I brought you, and you look completely beautiful, now I know where Yn got her beauty from.” He says smirking a little at you and how surprised you are. “ AHH AHH YN, why didn't you tell me you got with this handsome man?! Please arewa okunrin, what's your ethnicity, let me have three guesses!’’ your mom said begging the poor boy. “ No mom please no, he doesn't need to tell you all of that.” you said completely embarrassed that it even came out of her mouth. Luckily, Miles just laughed and proceeded to answer the question. “ I'm actually African american and Puerto rican ma.’’ “

Ehen so Yn has now gone and brought home a latin boy, ok ohh.’’ Your mom says, folding her arms in astonishment. “ Ok well Yns dad isn't here right now but you're more than welcome to stay.” Your mom says pulling him away for him to meet all your aunties. “ Come and see the fine boy Yn has brought to me ohh.’’ She exclaimed while pulling miles away. You laughed as you saw him being poked and prodded by many aunties at once. When they finally finished, which felt like hours after, he came back to meet you with a smirk on your face. “ Well, that was definitely something.’’ he said like he just saw a ghost. “ This is my family for you.’’ You said while laughing your head off. “ Haha. very funny.’’ He said while rolling his eyes. “ Anyway, im super hungry, can i get something to eat real quick?’’ He asked, wrapping his hand around your shoulder. “ Not too close omo, do you want her to get pregnant?!’’ Your mom yelled from far away. “ Mom! Stop please im begging” you said covering your face in embarrassment. “ Sorry!” Miles quickly said while moving his arm, but still scooting closer to you so that he can be near you as much as possible. “ Ok lemme just get something for you to eat c’mon.’’ You said while pulling him off the couch. 

He followed you to the kitchen and jumped up when he saw plantain. 

“ You guys have platanos too?!’’ “ Mi vida, here if anyone hears you call it that you're in big trouble. We call it dodo or plantain.” You said while rubbing his face by how cute he's being. “ Well whatever you want to call it, give me two big spoon-fuls of that please.” He said  while looking at it like it was his prey he was about to catch. “ Ok OK! It's not going anywhere why are you looking at it like that?’’ You said, chuckling at how hungry he is. “ Oh and gimme some fufu and efo riro.” He said looking over the table. “ Miles bruh, how do you even know about that?’ You said dying of laughter. “ Mami stop asking my questions and just put it please i'm dying over here” He said all dramatic.

Ok so this is litterally my first story so dont judge me pls. :)

[giuilily]

"But I'm not gonna complain if it gives us the possibility of getting her back in Part 3 lol" <- agree haha I was totally ready to accept her death (tbh i did not even consider that she wouldn't die this time until people were speculating about it before rebirth's release loll) but I am happy that we may get her back and also intrigued to see how they try to tie all of this together...

I think my overall feelings on Rebirth in general will depend a lot on how game 3 ends up going. Remake I feel can stand on its own a bit better since it is so contained. But truly why did we literally fight destiny at the end of Remake if things are just going to end up the same lol what was the point of all this! It also feels quite a downer to be like well you actually cannot change fate sorry lmao nice try though.

Something that concerns me with the defying fate/destiny thing is 1. Biggs dies anyway despite being saved 2. Zack ends up facing a firing squad no matter what (when he goes looking for hojo or when he goes after Biggs, although ofc in that case he chooses to throw himself into the void instead which i suppose could be seen as a change lol) so it's like... their fate is repeating itself in these different worlds, can it be changed? (I'm still confused as to the big rainbow flash on the Biggs path when Zack chooses to go to Hojo, does that mean theres a universe where Biggs goes to the reactor and Zack doesn't follow him so Biggs.. lives in that one?)

"I'm gonna hold the devs to that since no one asked them to add in new themes to an almost 30 yo game lol." <- lmfao for real. One of my biggest concerns about this whole thing was that they were going to waaay over complicate it (looking at you kingdom hearts) and I am reserving full judgement until things are complete but I def have not had my worries assuaged yet lol

Oh yes! I forgot we saw a chihuahua/spitz plush during the date. So the terrier-verse is still around but im pretty sure Zack is no longer alive in it lol unless he got sent back there again since it is the most relevant other universe. I wonder if Aerith and Cloud will ever wake up there... (maybe Saved Aerith will wake up there? if that did not create a New stamp-verse).

I agree with you on Rebirth. I did enjoy it gameplay-wise (except the moogles they can go to hell lol) and the battle system should definitely become a staple in future numbered FFs, but narrative-wise, because it's the middle part of game, there were a lot of new set-ups along with the OG story beats that we're still waiting for the pay offs in part 3, and I think they need to make it good, otherwise, if they did all of that in Rebirth and it's just gonna be the same as OG, then they just dangled Aerith's fate for suspense and marketing and nothing else. That would be pretty disrespecftul for both the character and the fans tbh.

Hmmm... I think Biggs's situation is kinda tricky in both Pug and Terrier verse because he sorta put himself in a situation where he's tempting fate. I'm kind of leaning on him dying in Terrier too since he's already at the Mako reactor already, but maybe Zack not being there to distract him puts him less at risk of getting caught by Shinra?

Biggs' death and Zack getting pulled in situations that mirror his OG death kinda reminded me of Final Destination, but I hope Nojima wasn't watching those movies while writing the Re Trilogy lol.

I think as long as they keep on putting themselves in those situations, serving their OG purpose in the narrative and facing exactly what got them killed the first time, they're basically tempting fate to finish its job. Idk how this will all play out or how they can avoid it if they need to take action.

And I'm sure Aerith will wake up in Terrier, but I'm worried about Sephiroth hunting her down in every world she's in. Cloud might find himself waking up there as well after he falls into a coma in the main world, and probably will have dreams of the place like in Rebirth, but I'm unsure if they'll wake up at the same time or not. Ngl, I would LOVE it if we form a party with him, Aerith and Zack. The potential awkward conversations would be SO funny lol.

Honestly the new worlds are so fascinating to me because the writers aren't constrained to OG in those parts. I know they'll all eventually merge, but I can't wait to see how they'll handle them and how the game will conclude!

[commanderquinn]

Good Space Chapter 1: Flower

! i dont! keep these posts! updated! like i do! ao3!

that means you're going to find typos and shit (and possibly minor detail changes) that don't match the ao3 version! that's because im not going to bother fixing the tumblr posts until i finish good space as a whole. im only uploading them here as a backup tbh

—

master list / ao3 chapter link

—

She’s the one good thing about trips to medical in the Avenger’s Tower.

Every other day, at her direct insistence, her lab is the only place in the entire wing that he’s willing to go to. It smells warm and safe, nothing like the antiseptic that makes him want to break a limb. For the first two weeks, he tries to tell her that she doesn’t have to do this. He’s been looking after the link from his arm to his brain for years. There’s never been a problem with it that he couldn’t handle, and he’ll come back if anything ever feels off. No matter how much Steve hovers, she doesn’t need to waste her time on this.

By the start of the third week, he can’t bring himself to suggest that anymore.

—

psa: there’s some gross ass (sometimes detailed) nazi medical shit all through this fic, so if lobotomy talk of any kind is a no for you, skim over any brain talk. your best bet is just to skip the lab scenes where you can ❤️

fic title is a song by skrillex! we needed bouncy shit that vague hinted at plot. the chapter title is a moby song to lay out the v i b e s 👾 im always going to list these, so y’all have a song to listen to while reading

all i can think that needs to be said for canon clarity (ill make it all clear over time dw) is post-WS buckaroo got picked up by steve and sam to be taken for a shower and therapy. no civil war, no age of ultron. we're taking parts of it and doing other shit, you'll see. fury’s publicly alive and director again, shield got flushed out because mmmmm i said so i guess. no red room here. its not about nat, the lack of consent history hanging between them isnt something i want with this. i want to focus on other parts of their trauma bond. alsomaybeishipnatwithsomeoneinthis.

im sorry, but i never started wanda content on my end, and AI jarvis is comfy nostalgia i want to play in, so likely not a lot for her here. yes, we will be having shuri bully bucky, ofc, she’s the pin that holds this whole plot together (what else is new)

oh and i treat bucky’s arm as more of an atompunk feel rather than “the nazi’s had bleeding edge limb tech in ww2 that only affects bucky’s arm, definitely not anything else”

other than that, we’re firmly in good ‘ol stark tech magic and too many open wiki pages for all my plot device needs

also my grammar aint the good. i write these mf's in my spare time while baked af, you're gonna have to give a bitch a break babes 👾

—

Febuary 17th, 2018

"That's not what I'm asking about."

Tony throws up his hands from the other side of the conference table, then lets them smack back down against the polished surface dramatically. "Illuminate me then, Rogers. I'm running out of ways to explain that she's the best I've got to offer for this."

Steve pushes a hand through his hair with a frustrated huff. "I'm not a brain surgeon." 

"No shit, that's what she's here for."

"I meant that I don't know what the fuck I'm looking at."

"Now I know you're worried if you're willing to," Tony clutches at the front of his shirt in mock horror, "swear in public." Pepper smacks his shoulder without even looking up from her tablet. The sight would make Steve smile under normal circumstances. 

"You can hand me any resume you want, Tony. I'm telling you that I won't be able to see a difference. I know you're giving me a team who can do the work; I'm asking if they can do it while it's Bucky."

"Are you worried about his safety or theirs?" Pepper asks, finally looking over. Her tone isn't judgemental. If anything, it's veering towards the gentleness it has when she's talking Tony down.

"I'm not worried about theirs. I will be there every time. Even if he has a bad day, I'll make sure that—look. Nothing's going to happen. It's just...." Steve flips open the folder he's been carrying for a week. The edges of it are starting to wear down at this point. Sighing, he slides his summary notes to their side of the table. "He still doesn't... he doesn't talk about the previous escapes. No matter what his therapist tries. He just can't bring himself to do it. But it's not hard to get a clear picture of what used to happen. He does this every time. He builds himself a strong house, then a fallback point, and then he goes to work trying to fix all the damage alone, which he'll never be able to do. No one could. And there's not going to be a goon squad rolling in to drag him back anymore, so he's just going to—"

"Yeah, yeah, push him to help him; I grasped the concept the first hundred times," Tony cuts in. If he weren't so damn anxious, Steve might honestly feel bad about being so far up everyone's ass over this. "You've got me on board. So, what's the concern here? Will she quit the first time he bites her head off? That's a pretty chauvinist perspective, especially coming from you."

"She's had to put up with Tony long enough to befriend him; that should be proof enough." Pepper smiles as the nightmare himself points toward her in silent agreement.

Steve raises his hands amicably. "I'm not trying to insult anyone's professionalism. I'm sure she's had more than her fair share of problem patients to get where she is today. I'm... I'm more asking if—Christ. I'm sorry in advance, alright? But... Tony, I need you to look me in the eye and tell me that you'd have trusted her to get you home."

A stiff, all-consuming silence falls over the spare meeting room. Pepper and Steve waiting on bated breath; Tony frozen as he looks back at him with an expressionless face. 

Steve despises himself for doing this to him. The knowledge of what happened in that cave is something the man is unimaginably protective over. It took years—and a night of blackout drinking on Tony's end—for the story to even slip out of him. Talking about Yinsen is the only time Steve's seen him cry that he can remember. It was just one overflow, barely even two tears that got scrubbed off his cheeks within the first minute, but it was there. It's the only way Steve knows to get his point across.

Tony looks down at the table and adjusts his posture. His head shifts and his lips purse in that signature move of his, the one that comes up when he's forced to be a person. With feelings. Pepper's arm moves, no doubt taking his hand under the table. 

He looks back up, meeting Steve's eyes as his posture relaxes. "I wish they could have met. I think Yin would have gotten a kick out of her fashion taste. I think she'd have gotten an even bigger one out of putting him in it."

It's the most ringing endorsement he's ever heard the man give. More importantly, Steve knows just how much weight sits behind the guarded words.

—

"I've got their personnel files if you want them. They all volunteered them to you willingly."

"I'm alright."

"Do you want their names ahead of time?"

"No."

"Not even their first ones?"

"They can tell them to me."

"Okay."

"...."

"...."

"...What are they?"

"The ones that'll be behind the glass are Hannah and Wyatt." Of course Steve knows to start there, where his nerves will fixate the most. Asshole. "You probably won't even talk to the two of them today, but your main doctor for this will definitely offer to let you. Her name is Ava. She's going to check in with you for confirmation on a lot of things before she does them. I shadowed her for over a week, asshole. It's not about you; she does it for everyone."

Bucky grunts. "I wouldn't have jumped on her for it."

"No, you'd have sat there brooding like a petulant jackass instead, probably making her feel bad." Steve pauses for a long moment, fiddling with the paper coffee cup in his hands. "You should read Hannah's file, Buck."

"Why?" He shouldn't ask. He can hear the motive sitting in his best friend's voice. It's a fucking trap, and he fucking knows it, but he also can't stop himself.

"Her last name is Schuster."

He absolutely despises the way the situation makes his gut clench. They're dead. They're all dead, and the ones in their place have been declawed for much longer than he's been off ice. He's probably not even going to talk to the woman, at least not today. He might catch the sight of a name on a coat, however. Or on a chart.

He wanted to do this without letting old habits in. He wanted to at least start this feeling like a person, not a weapon. But he gets why the dickhead is trying to baby-step him into it.

Bucky holds out his hand. Steve silently passes him the tablet he keeps. Neither of them says a word as he reads the SHEILD file to himself, line by line. Taking in a stranger's entire professional life. Her family, her known associates, every residence she's ever held. It takes a moment of hovering his finger over the subfolder with her medical records to talk himself down from opening it. Nothing is lingering in those shadows; Steve wouldn't allow it. That's not a line he needs to cross anymore. 

He hands it back when he's done. "The other two?"

"Nothing I could think of. Ava's seen your hard limit list—you remember I told you I was gonna give it to one of your—?"

"I remember. It's okay. That's why you have it."

"Yeah." Steve takes another long pause. "You remember that she knows—"

"I know."

"Good. The others don't. She says they don't need to for any of it, and it's never going on record again." He looks over out of the corner of his eye. "She's going to bring it up today."

"I had a hunch."

"I just wanted to make sure it didn't surprise you."

"I know."

"Good." Steve picks up his coffee to drain the last of it in one swig. He tosses the empty cup into a trashcan by the wall a few tables over before looking back at him. He extends his now-empty hand. "Ready?"

"Not in the fucking least." Bucky raises his hand to lock with his best friends momentarily. "Let's go."

There's no wing in this tower—and he's been through all of them by now—that he dislikes more than medical. The place makes his skin feel like a thousand goddamn spiders are crawling all over him, and the smell of it, fuck. It sits in his head like a fog while it burns up the inside of his nose, making him want to break anything touching any part of him. He'd make Steve be here with him no matter what; that's a given. But the fact that there's going to be a doctor poking at him today while he's trying to power through it all makes the guy's presence non-negotiable. Bucky needs the safety net for the good of everyone in that room.

Steve doesn't try for talking to distract him, mercifully enough. There are times when it helps. Today isn't going to be one of them. He doesn't even have to bring it up for Steve to know, and the reminder that he's understood helps his nerves. It's been an incredibly long time since he had an incident. He's proud of every last one of those days. He won't be upset with himself—well. He'll try not to be upset with himself if that streak ends. But he really, really wants that day not to be today.

Bucky treats it like a mission. He's braced and ready for the antiseptic when they first get through the entrance. He doesn't flinch or huff through his nose at the invasion, not even as they make their way to the specialized divisions. He's walked these hallways before; he's walked every single one in the tower. It was the only way he could get himself to sleep during his first week here. Aside from a few trips to the emergency intake, he hasn't had to force himself back. 

He's definitely never bothered with meeting the specialists themselves. It took long enough to convince himself not to memorize the names of every staff member in the tower. He doesn't need to do that anymore. That's what his therapist and the Star Spangled Spandex keep insisting, anyways.

The door Steve goes for sticks out against the sleek hallway long before they reach it. It's painted, and not just a solid color; it's covered with a garden scene done by several different hands, going by the skill variation. Bucky runs his thumb over one of the hundreds of flowers as they walk past it to feel how thick the tiny acrylic mountains are. One of the petals cracks under the light pressure of the move, making him frown. The mural's not sealed at all, despite being long dried. Not the kind of thing maintenance usually overlooks.

An absolute shock of color hits Bucky's eyes when he gets his first look at the neurosurgeon's office. The walls he can spot from this side of the entryway are lined with tie-dye hanging cloths, and the floor is covered in fluffed-up, vibrant rugs. There's not a hint of SHIELD regulation left in the architecture, with all the walls that aren't glass holding even more heavy paint globs. Some of the murals are more flowers, but a majority of them are space themed. 

The stench of antiseptic fades the farther into the room Bucky goes. By the time the door shuts behind him, it's entirely replaced with the warm aroma of apples and cinnamon. A long, curved desk is off to one corner, pushed against the glass wall overlooking the city and covered in picture frames. An arrangement of chairs piled with pillows matching the rest of the decor sits in the center. Each one of them is fucking massive.

The room itself is separated in half by a thick glass wall. He can spot two doctors sitting behind an array of equipment on the other, equally decorated side behind the glass. There isn't any creative paint in there from what he can spot. If it weren't for that, he could almost forget that he's standing in a medical lab. 

Almost.

"Hi there," comes a voice to his right. 

The woman it belongs to almost blends in with the office once Bucky turns his head to look at her. The lab coat that comes down to her knees is a solid blue rather than tye-dye, but it's covered in stitched designs. Most of them are shaped like bees. Bucky barely stops his eyebrows from raising at the sight of the outfit underneath. Loose cloth pants hanging low on her hips, with even more bees on them, and a hand-knit top that would have been called obscene during most of the decades he woke up in. The bun she's pulled her hair into must have been done this morning; more than a few bundles are hanging down haphazardly. Bucky hasn't met a lot of brain surgeons that he knows of, but he doesn't remember any of them having glasses as thick as hers. He's pretty sure that good vision is something most of them need for the job. Not that he's nervous.

She walks over with a warm smile, already extending a hand to him. She's a short, round little thing. Barely five feet, if his guess is accurate. It always is. "I'm Dr. Ryder. You can call me Ava. I'm told you're my newest patient."

He accepts the shake with a nod and tries not to think about how sweaty his hand might feel to her. Wiping it against his pants would have been too weird. "James."

"But you prefer Bucky, right?"

"Yes, ma'am. Ava," he corrects himself quickly.

"Oooh, someone's stepped on some toes in the new century." Her smile takes on a teasing edge. "I'm originally from Canada; you won't find me taking offense. Ingrained cultural manners are a bitch to hold back."

"Careful, they're the only manners he's got," Steve warns, already heading for one of the chairs. 

"Ignore him. I'm house-trained," Bucky assures her. Taking his hand back, he hikes a thumb over his shoulder, needing something to stall with. "You sure you don't want someone to give your door a few clear coats? It'd be a shame to see all that work chip off."

Ava waves dismissively. "We redo it a lot; it's a relaxation project around here. It'll look different pretty soon." She points toward the glass wall separating the two halves of the office. "I've got the rest of the team working on a project to give us some space, but I can bring them in for a minute if you'd like to meet them?"

"I'm... I'm alright for now, thanks. I can meet them—whenever."

She doesn't insist further or comment on the blatant nerves in his voice. Her hand waves at the arranged chairs as she moves to sit in one. "Take your pick of the lineup, then. Typically I'd offer to take you to the corner of the roof that we've claimed for ourselves as an alternative. But, I need to keep you in environmental controls for sanitation, at least for the initial visit."

Bucky nods a few times as he sits in the one next to Steve's. His ass sinks nearly a foot into nothing but pillows, and his spine goes rigid. "Here's fine." 

He'd have said no anyways, not that he'll mention that. Too many open sight lines with his anxiety on edge. He'll be revisiting the roof before his next appointment to familiarize himself, though, that's for sure. His last trip up there was long before she was even hired. The mental image of bead strings and tye-dye throw blankets on patio furniture flits through his head. If she decorates the same way everywhere, he's guessing it won't be all that hard to find the space. 

Ava pulls up a tablet from the coffee table to rest in the middle of her folded legs. He's guessing she's into yoga in her spare time. One of her eyebrows arches at them in amusement. "You know, I've never actually seen someone fill one of these before now." 

"The benefits of dosed living," Steve quips, his tone a little too positive. It makes Bucky's foot start to bounce silently against the floor on instinct.

If she notices, the doctor doesn't mention it as she focuses on Bucky. "Steve tells me you prefer when doctors keep things direct with you."

Bucky shifts his eyes over to the man in question, who busies himself with one of the pillows, picking at the hanging fringe. Fucker's going to be hearing about this later, that's for damn sure. 

He looks back at Ava. Time to get it over with, he encourages himself. "Yeah, if you don't mind."

"Not at all. I know Steve's already told you, but I want you to hear it from my mouth. I have The Soldier's activation memorized."

He can't stop the gut instinct to swallow over hearing the words, but he nods. "I'm okay with it."

"It's not in any of my notes; it never will be. My team understands that there is a specific trigger in place; they need to in order to do their job. But they have no indication of what it is. I'll never write the words out or speak them where they can be picked up. Steve helped me with the pronunciation and the order when he first gave me your records, but you have my word that I won't be repeating them."

"You should," Bucky insists immediately. "If anything happens, you should, and you shouldn't hesitate about it."

"She knows, Buck," Steve assures him with a murmur. "I took her through the worst case drill. She's got a panic button on her."

"Steve tells me that my reaction time is fast enough for working on your case safely." Ava's head tilts to the side slightly. "Your comfort is the priority here. We can always run through a silent drill together if you'd like the reassurance."

He thinks about it. Honest to god, he lets himself sit in the idea of putting Steve's training to the test for more than a few moments. Neither of them push him for an answer. "I might take you up on that at some point."

She nods, the hair hanging closest to her face bouncing slightly. "Whenever you want. That offer is permanent. I'm taking this case on because I want to help undo what's been done; I'm not here to let it be continued, not even in research." Her eyes shift to Steve, with a bitter defiance building in them. "I trust that'll be clarified to the director if our work here ever reaches his ears, captain."

Steve nods, finally looking up from where he's moved on to picking at the pillow's stitches. "There's no more mud in that water. Fury understands how far over the line we went."

Ava doesn't look convinced in the least. Bucky doesn't blame her, not with the scattered memories of his role in all of it sitting in his head. When she looks back at him, the distrust leaves her eyes. "I'd like to get a better idea of what we'll be working with. I know that's probably going to be one of the most difficult parts of this, so we can try to get through it now if you'd like. Or we can wait until you're feeling more comfortable. It's entirely up to you."

Shifting slightly to straighten out his shoulders, Bucky nods. "I'm ready now."

It's an outright lie, but that doesn't really matter anymore. There's never going to be a time when he is ready. He still needs to do this.

"I'm going to need to adjust your head a few times today," she tells him with a relaxed, melodic tone as she stands up. She lifts a black briefcase from the coffee table and brings it over to rest on the arm of his chair, where he can easily see it being handled. "Is there anywhere you'd prefer me putting my hands? Or anywhere specific you want me to avoid?"

Bucky sees Steve shift his head slightly in his peripheral and wants to roll his eyes. Asshole. He'd have made a joke at the most; he wouldn't have been insulted. Probably. "I can't think of anywhere to steer you away from. You're good to do whatever you need to do."

She doesn't take him into the other section of the room like he thought she would. She doesn't even make him stand back up. All it takes to get the nightmare he's been dreading for years started is Ava pulling a wired, plastic wreath from the briefcase to put over the top of his head. She doesn't push a cold faceplate over his eye and against his temples; no bite guard gets shoved in his mouth. There's no frigid metal probing into the top of his neck to make his teeth buzz until he wants to rip them out of his jaw. The air around him isn't humid and suffocating like it was in that bunker. He can't hear the hum of electric coils or the squeak of leather boots on linoleum. 

He's not in Siberia. He's in New York. This isn't a HYDRA agent strapping him down. This is a hippie, who definitely smoked pot this morning, putting a sensor on his head that barely has any weight. 

"Here, hold this for me," she tells him from behind his chair, offering her tablet over his shoulder. He takes it silently, bringing it to rest in both hands. A digital scan of his brain is already being mapped out on the screen. It's the first time he's seen the anchor that wraps around his brainstem since the X-rays HYDRA used to leave up like trophies. "We can get a look at this thing together."

Bucky takes a deep breath in. It's… not a pretty sight. Whatever they put in him isn't registering in the bright blue lights of the rest of his brain. They're all dark spots, primarily lines branching out from the anchor that might as well be a black hole. 

"You see that?" Ava leans forward to run her nail up the path of one of the lines. It starts at the anchor, and it's attached to another point further up, but that junction is the source of even more lines that go all over. There's a fucking mechanical spider web in his brain. "That's your motor cortex, and those links are tethered to your arm, starting there. That—the one right there—is what's making your cybernetics work."

"What's the rest of it?" There's a fucking lot of it, whatever it is. A lot more than he remembers being put in. 

"Considering the intent of the Nazis that had you, the end goal was probably total control." Her finger moves, tapping several things that look way too fucking important as she keeps talking. "All of those there are connected to your essential functions: breathing, heart rate, consciousness. From there, they branched out into trying for control over your limbs. Jesus." She leans further over his shoulder and pinches at the screen to zoom in. "It looks like they were already building into your entire cognitive process."

"What does that mean?" Steve asks, worry rising in his tone. 

"It means they were reckless on top of being cruel. And fucking stupid—pardon my French."

"You're talking to soldiers, doc," Bucky reminds her quietly, his brows drawn in as his eyes trace the black spots in his grey matter. 

"Right. In that case, fuck every last one of them and the horses they rode... into whichever circle of hell they're burning in, I guess." Bucky's lips twitch slightly as she zooms back out. "They were venturing into parts of the brain that haven't been studied enough for human testing, even by today's standards. Blindly poking just to see what worked; my guess is because they knew that you could survive it. You see that big scary thing under your hippocampus?"

Bucky nods as she taps at the anchor. "Yeah. Yeah, that was… that was the first part. That got put in, I mean." He clears his throat when it starts to scratch. "I'm. I'm pretty sure it was the first part." 

"Do you want to know why you don't feel sure?" she asks gently. Her voice has dropped to something much softer. It makes him sit back in the overly comfortable chair incrementally. 

"Yeah," he tells her quietly, honestly. He wouldn't have a year ago. 

Ava circles her finger around the center of his brain, where one of the more prominent lines from the anchor holds several thinner, black branches. "That's your limbic system. It controls emotion, memory, behavioral habits, that kind of thing. They fried it at some point trying to get to your memories, I assume. My team has the photograph from your HYDRA file, the one with the X-ray from your initial brain surgery. I've studied it with my own eyes. That serum in your bloodstream is the only thing that brought you back from being a vegetable. The salvaged notes from the initial facility they kept you in mention months of unresponsiveness and varying levels of brain activity. 

"There's a reason you can't remember who you were then, Bucky. They wiped you clean because they knew you, out of all their test subjects, could recover from it. There wasn't enough left of your mind to hold memories, much less any kind of higher will." He hears her clothes shuffle behind him and sees Steve turn his head to look back at her from the corner of his eye. "I'm more than willing to testify to that in any court on Earth, captain. So we're clear."

"Understood," Steve replies, his voice thick. "I appreciate that."

Fuck, so does Bucky. Too bad he can't get his throat to open back up at the moment. 

"Now, let's talk about the hard part." He hears Ava sigh. "From what I can see, there's no way we can remove any of this. Not by any standard that I'm willing to entertain, at least."

Bucky shakes his head and tries clearing his throat again. It doesn't feel anywhere near as successful this time around. "That's fine. I don't—I don't think I'd… I wouldn't be ready for that. I just want to know it's not…."

"Capable of being controlled remotely?" she offers when he trails off. 

"Yeah. Aside from the code. I don't—that's not a problem. They're dead. Anyone else that had it, I mean." Christ, his foot's going to bounce straight out of his boot, right through the leather. 

"I can't make any kind of assurances at this stage when it comes to that. But you have my word that it will be my team's primary focus." Her hand pulls back, and he feels four of her fingertips lightly rest on his shoulder. "I'd prefer to check that connection point they left over your spinal cord before you leave today, but the rest of what we need for diagnostics can wait until another time."

Bucky pulls in a heavy breath through his nose. "Yeah. I'm ready to do that."

"I need to get a few things for it and check in with my team." She taps at the side of the wreath lightly. "You don't have to keep looking at the scan, but you should leave this on while I'm gone so we can get some basic readings."

"You're the boss, doc." He tries not to make it look like he's in a hurry to get the thing out of his hand when he dumps the tablet on his leg. 

"I'll be back in just a bit," she tells them, calmly shuffling off into the other half of the office. The glass door hisses loudly as she goes through it, confirming it's a sterile lab. The wall frosts over shortly after with the privacy screen activating.

Neither of them says a word for the first few minutes.

"Well," Steve finally offers up, his voice still as thick as when he thanked the doctor. "There's the confirmation you've been waiting for."

"That's not what that was—"

"Alright, you know what? Fuck you very much, Buck—"

"Fuck me? Fuck me? Yeah, I guess that's how it works now, what with you making alll the fucking calls—"

Steve's finger comes sailing into his face. "This affects more than just—" He stops with a short, muted groan and yanks his hand back to shove through his hair. After a moment, he lets it fall to his thigh in a clenched fist. "You want to sit here blaming yourself for it all, fine. I've got no right to tell you to stop when I'm still doing the exact same thing. But I'm pulling you through this whether," his voice goes high and mocking as he turns to glare a hole into the side of Bucky's head, "yooou like it or not. I let you fall once; I'm not fucking doing it again, asshole."

Bucky stares down a lava lamp sitting on the coffee table for a long, silent moment, his face pinched. He counts the number of wiggling blobs floating from the top to the bottom. He takes in their shared color and picks as close to a stupid paint name for it as possible. One by one, his photographic memory goes down the list of stupid colors from that stupid swatch wall at the stupid art supply store that Steve takes him to when he can't sleep at three in fucking the morning. He decides on fuchsia because it sounds extra stupid. There're twelve in total, they're fuchsia, and his best friend is as stupid as the name of their color.

The anger eventually eases up. "You're the asshole."

Steve sits back in his chair with a sigh. "Love you, too."

It takes a long minute of grinding his teeth for Bucky to force out the question that won't stop echoing in his head. "She doesn't know about the others?"

"She knows there were other attempts, but no, I didn't tell her any of them were successful. I left my notes in her file on what's been held back from her, along with the things she knows that her team doesn't. You can tell her whatever you want; that's up to you. I really think you should read through all of their files."

"Yeah?" Bucky snaps mockingly. "I really think you should kiss my ass."

Steve reaches out to grab one of the magazines from a stack on the coffee table. His posture is resigned and absolutely screaming I know better than you right now, idiot. "You should grow the fuck up."

—

There's no way the notes from HYDRA cover all his surgeries, not with this much framework built up inside his brain.

Steve warned her to expect something like this. The bastards passed Bucky around like a science experiment over the decades. Whenever a station was compromised, all of its records were destroyed to safeguard HYDRA's critical secrets, the work and confirmed existence of the Winter Soldier being one of them. Only a handful were raided by SHEILD efficiently enough to prevent further loss of his medical history. What remains is the scattered works of solitary minds spanned across decades. 

In Ava's opinion, not one of those minds should have been granted the mercy of seeing daylight again after their senseless, abhorrent, despicable crimes against the sergeant. Never in her life has she been a violent woman, but given a blunt object and five minutes with the lot of them, she'd have been very tempted to rebalance nature with ruthless gusto. 

A hand nudges at her arm, pulling her from her distraction with a quick inhale. "Sorry, repeat that?"

Wyatt's eyebrows pull in sympathetically. "Y'can hand this part off to one of us, boss."

"You can hand it off to him," Hannah interrupts briskly, her eyes never moving from where they're pressed against a microscope. 

"Y'can hand it off to me," Wyatt rapidly corrects with a warm smile. He drums his stylus against his arm and leans against the lab's center console. The movable hologram program Tony gifted them is already building detail into one of the darkest acts in human history. Right there, in front of one of the most gentle souls Ava's ever met. The contrast makes her stomach drop. "I mean it; y'know me, I got a real sweet touch. Betch'a the sergeant wouldn't even know I'd been there til it was over."

"Don't make me say it, Combs." Hannah almost sounds bored. The former marine is in a good mood today.

Wyatt doesn't even bother with throwing a quip back at her. He's usually wise enough to know when he's in a losing battle. Reaching out, he gives Ava's shoulder a supportive bump. "You said so yourself; he's alright with meetin' us."

Ava shakes her head, bringing her hand up to rub at the bridge of her nose. Her eyes are stinging hard enough to make them water. She shouldn't have pulled an all-nighter before this; it definitely isn't helping her frustration. "He's okay with it; that doesn't mean he's ready for it. You should see the way he's practically vibrating in that chair. There's not one part of this he isn't forcing himself through. I want to try to limit contact until he feels like he's in control of the space around him."

"That won't take long," Hannah comments quietly, reaching for another slide. "There are certain habits infiltrators don't lose."

"Speakin' from your own experience on that one?" Wyatt asks, curiosity creeping into his tone. Their eternal beacon of southern sunshine has yet to give up chasing details about her, unlike everyone else who visits their little medical corner. 

"Infiltrator is not the classification I would have given myself. I was never very subtle in my old line of work."

"Yeah, 'cause subtle's definitely the word I'd pick for your blunt ass now." Wyatt rolls his eyes and extends his hand to rapidly spin the projection of Bucky's brain with the flick of a stubby finger. "Either'a you looked at these trenches much yet? There's different cablin' in every major section. None of it's got a set standard, far as I can tell."

"I don't think he ever had the same doctor for more than two surgeries." Ava leans heavily against the console with a sigh, trying not to let herself venture into the mindset of a terrified soldier. She has to stay detached, or this will eat her alive before they're even halfway done. The enlarged hologram already hurts to look at in more ways than one. "Steve confirmed that HYDRA intermittently lost sections of his records through the years. All of this could be fractured by the decades; we won't know until Paige starts getting a read on the programming behind that main port."

"How do you want us to handle data transfer?" Hannah asks.

"Let's keep this off our internal server as much as we can help it. Tony sectioned off a virtual instance that we can burn when needed, but the only time you should be using that is for his scans. Put everything else on an isolated hard copy here in the lab, wherever you can do it without hindering the work. I want the equipment analysis kept as off-record as possible. I don't want this being recreated. By anyone."

"Definitely agreein' with you on that one, boss." Wyatt pokes his finger into the projection's left frontal lobe, halting its slowing spin. "I know we said extraction ain't the goal here, but I'm gonna be runnin' some sims on that when I've got the time. I don't like the idea of leavin' any'a this shit in, even if we do get it identified and nuked."

Ava nods and reaches up to give his shoulder a warm squeeze. "Let me know what initial paths you route; we can build from there. I doubt he'll be ready for any extensive work for years to come, but the least we can do is present him with some options." She takes a deep breath through her nose as she looks over the port connection on the hologram. "Alright, I'll be back after I finish his consultation."

"Good luck, boss," Wyatt encourages with a smile. "Tell the sergeant we said hi."

She waves her hand over her shoulder with a hum and braces herself to face her latest patient again. 

The sergeant himself is sitting just as stiffly as he was when she left, but the captain has moved on to relaxing with a magazine in his hands. They both look up at the sound of the door opening, with a laid-back smile on Steve's face and a forced one on Bucky's. She almost wants to tell him that he doesn't have to make an attempt. 

"Sorry for the wait; needed a quick check-in with the brain trust." And to not want to throw something heavy through Tony's fancy glass walls. "They wanted me to pass along their hello's. Dr. Combs, in particular, is very excited to meet you."

Bucky huffs a silent laugh through his nose as she returns to stand at the side of his chair. She doesn't try to move behind him for the moment. "Yeah, I'm sure I'm real—"

"Buck," Steve cuts in softly with a side eye in his best friend's direction.

"Fascinating?" Bucky's eyes lift to Ava's at her teasing guess, and his responding nod is sheepish. She smiles at the attempted manners. "Your case is as interesting as it is horrific, that's for sure. Lucky for you, we're a morbid bunch, so you can go for the gallows humor whenever you want." She taps at Bucky's arm with the pad of her index finger, trying to warm him up to repeat physical contact. "However, I'm pretty sure Wyatt is looking forward to asking for your autograph above everything."

The sergeant's eyebrows rocket toward his hairline. "What's he looking for? Love, The Winter Soldier?"

"Bucky." Steve doesn't even look over this time; he just drops one side of the magazine to pinch the bridge of his nose. 

The sight of an exasperated Captain America sitting in her office makes Ava snort loudly. She doesn't miss the way it makes Bucky's lips raise at the corners. "He comes from a long line of history buffs who believe accurate preservation is the best tool to prevent it from repeating. The guy grew up with battle models and field testimonials from every major war. I'm guessing he had some Howling Commando envy as a kid, though he won't own up to that on his end."

"He knows I was one of them for all of five minutes, right?"

"None of us were Howlies for long," Steve forcefully insists, one foot coming over to kick Buckys. "But that doesn't change the good we did while we were."

"It also won't stop him from chewing your ear off about it if you let him." Ava crosses her arms over her chest in amusement. "My advice is to stop him early. Definitely before he starts asking what you remember about the maps. You've got a real Milo Thatch working on your brain now." Bucky looks up at her in confusion. "Haven't gotten around to Disney movies yet? Milo's a character from Atlantis, one of my personal favorites. He and Wyatt share a certain level of academic excitement."

"I'll add it to the watch list." A small smile comes up, making her wonder what his cheeks look like when he really lets it go. "And keep the point of no return in mind."

She stops herself from gushing about the beauty of the art behind the movie, wanting to honor his headfirst approach. "You ready to get the last part of today's visit over with?"

His shoulders rise with another resigned intake, making her want to be ferociously violent toward the closest available Nazi. "I'm ready when you are, doc."

"My go-to hardware specialist built a prototype connector based on the scans Tony got during your initial intake. It's only the first iteration for the sake of data extraction, so be sure to speak up if anything feels off. Anything at all, even if it's just minor discomfort. She can work on changing it for the next build. I'm sure Steve can attest to Paige's efficiency at her job by now."

The slightest hint of a blush comes over the captain's cheeks at the teasing mention of his numerous visits to the engineering department. "Ms. Findley—"

"Does she ask you to call her that?" Bucky jumps on his best friend with immediately. Ava would feel bad about chumming the waters, but the banter is making him relax against the chair. 

Steve shuts his mouth momentarily. The blush gets a shade darker before he opens it again. "Paige is a very dedicated worker. And a lovely conversationalist. How do you two know each other? Through Tony?"

Now Ava really does feel bad. She puts a hand on her hip and tries to keep her smile from growing. "No, I'm the one who introduced them. She's been my best friend for about fifteen years now."

Steve freezes, and Bucky's grin takes over the lower half of his face. The sergeant sits all the way back, with shoulders that are perfectly at ease. "Oh, good. If I think of anything later, I can just have Stevie drop it off for me. I'd hate to forget between appointments."

Ava pulls the wireless reader and its port connector from the briefcase on Bucky's chair. She steps up behind him and tries not to let her eyes linger on how his smile lights up his face or how it warms her chest to see. Her free hand comes to rest on his left shoulder, leaving the exit door in his right peripherals. "This shouldn't take more than a few minutes at most. Ready?"

"Hit me." It almost doesn't sound forced. 

She lifts his hair and runs her thumb over the port once to brace him for the new sensations before lining up the connector. As she'd explicitly requested of Paige, the mechanism doesn't snap into place when she locks it in, meaning there's no responding vibration to move through his skull. The notes from Bucky's therapist that were passed along didn't mention it, but they hardly mention anything at all. There's a lot he's holding back, there has to be, and she's been trying to preempt as much of it as she can. 

Bucky's nails dig into the arm of the chair, and he inhales sharply. After a moment, his fingers start to relax one by one. Ava watches them all, her eyes moving between his hands and neck repeatedly, while the reader begins its data harvest. She gives him long enough to get a few steady breaths in. 

"Have you started any animated movie binges?" she prods, wanting to stall for time to get a closer look at his implant. With him letting her hold up his hair like this, it might be her only chance for the foreseeable future. 

"Sam's gotten me to sit through a few of his picks," he replies tensely. 

"Mmm. I'm guessing Mister Feathers is a Pixar fan." 

"I know that's an animation studio, but that's the extent of my expertise on the subject. Are they the ones who made Lilo and Stitch?"

"He did not make you watch that one first."

"He did, but that's technically not my first animated movie. We had them back in the 30s, you know."

"Some of us still call it animation's golden age," Steve mutters in the most crotchety old artist fashion, his eyes back on the magazine in his lap.

"Take a look around this room, Rogers," Ava sasses. "Do I look like someone who'd argue with you about its significance?"

"Point taken." 

Her eyebrows pull in while she looks over just how much of Bucky's spinal cord is exposed to outside influence. She knows how far the port runs thanks to the scans, but now she's getting an eyeful of movable hatching and flesh that will never get the proper chance to heal. 

"How are you handling the daily care of this?" she asks, running her finger around one edge of the port.

"I do it," Bucky tells her simply.

Her eyes lock on the back of his head in disbelief. "You do… what, exactly?"

"I've got a morning routine for it. Clear the excess buildup, sterilize the whole area, work the skin, that kind of thing."

"You understand that this has direct access to your brainstem, right?"

"I know." He shifts his weight in the chair. "I'm careful."

"I have several medical degrees, one of which is entirely focused on the human brain, and even I would hesitate to approach this on my own body. If anything that can give you so much as a hundred-degree fever touches this, you're dead, Bucky." She lets the hand not holding up his hair come to rest on his shoulder. "I'm not trying to scare you with this, but as your doctor, I need to make sure you understand the severity here. I don't want you doing this yourself anymore; I want you to come to my office for it."

"That's not necessary—"

"What time do you want him here in the mornings?" Steve asks, ignoring Bucky entirely. 

"I don't need to come here in the mornings—"

"It doesn't have to be every morning," Ava offers, wanting to give him a compromise. She's definitely not letting him go back to doing it himself. "I can set up a stable cleaning routine every other day whenever you have the time to come in."

"I have it handled, really—"

"I wouldn't push it past three days, though."

"Every other morning," Steve agrees. "That's perfect. JARVIS can keep an eye on the schedules for him."

"I've got working fucking eyeballs," Bucky almost shouts, making Ava and Steve finally let up. 

She squeezes her hand on his shoulder, half in apology, half in sympathy. "Yes, you do. But they happen to be in the front of your head. My eyes can see the back of your neck without a mirror, and they've got a decade's worth of disgustingly thorough medical training behind them. You came here because you're ready for this to get done. Now you actually have to let me do it."

Bucky lifts a hand as if he's about to argue but then lowers it with a soft sigh. "Yeah... yeah, alright. But I'm not always going to be here in the mornings—"

"She said it doesn't have to be the mornings," Steve cuts in again.

"You know what I mean, jackass. I'm not always going to be here consistently. I have, you know, a job that you try to boss me around on—"

"We can make sure you've got a trained medic to help—"

"No, Grant."

The words are said softly, and it takes a moment for Ava to even remember that it's the captain's middle name, but something happens in the wake of them. Steve's relentless push stops on a dime, and the fight leaves Bucky's shoulders. The two of them relax marginally, and Steve nods once. "Okay. So, we establish the routine here. Get it ironed out; get you practiced with it. Then I'll clear you for doing it yourself on missions. But if you miss even one while you're here, so help me—"

"I got it, I got it."

Steve watches Bucky with a tightly held expression for another long moment. Then he looks up at Ava with a nod. "He'll be here, and I'll make sure he's not cleared for another mission until you two have a stable routine for taking care of this."

Ava gives Bucky's shoulder another light squeeze. "I promise it'll be quick every time. I'll work with Paige on making you a field kit. In the long run, this shouldn't interrupt your normal day-to-day much at all."

"Appreciate the effort, doc." Bucky gives a soft grunt. "Sorry for the. Y'know. Pushback."

"I think the world owes you a little more than patience as backpay, Sergeant. I'm happy to help where I can."

—

Febuary 19th 2018

"I can handle it if you want me to."

"No. No, I... I can do it."

"You're sure?"

"You think I can't?"

"I think you look like you're about to throw up on my shoes."

"I don't like the idea of... starting off like that."

"That's why I'm offering to do it."

"No. It should be me. There are things you won't be able to explain."

"You can always fill in the blanks when she shows up for Soldat training."

"What a great alternative first impression! Hello, ma'am, not only am I a complete jackass, but I also delegate my role as—"

"You're not delegating; you're assigning the right person to the job. And this takes away the need for you to be a jackass."

"Leaving you to be a confrontational bitch in someone's eyes?"

"What's the issue there?"

"That's not what you are, Nat."

"Says who?"

Steve reaches out to smack the side of her arm. "That's one of my closest friends you're ragging on."

"She can take it." Natasha looks over at him, a bored hike to one brow. "Let's stay focused on what the doctor can take. This won't be like the therapists. We can't put him through multiple doctors on this. We'll only get one or two tries before he draws the hard limit."

He nods, turning his eyes back to the closed elevator doors. "Right. Right, it's for a good reason. I can do it."

"You don't have to. I can handle it."

"I know. But it should be me." He knocks the side of his boot against hers. "Thank you."

"Always. Let me know how it goes."

Natasha's off the elevator before the doors are even finished opening, leaving Steve to collect himself alone. He pushes off the back railing with a heavy sigh. No part of this is going to be easy to stomach. He's accepted that. He exits the elevator with a resigned set to his shoulders.

The medical wing is dark this late into the day. JARVIS already confirmed that the doctor is still in the building. From the AI's reports, she pulls late nights like this regularly. It bodes well for what he'll have to ask of her and her team.

He stops to admire the heavy paint on the outside of the lab's door. There's days worth of work here, clearly a labor of love. It takes until he's admiring the fourth flower of his perusal to notice that it's not all the same artist. He scans it a bit quicker after that, trying to take a guess as to how many different hands took part. His best guess is four.

Accepting that he's been inadvertently stalling, Steve pushes it open roughly. He probably should have expected the onslaught of color in the room from seeing the door. It still hits him hard enough to make him do a double-take through his exaggerated annoyance. The doctor sitting on the other side of a very large desk nearly jumps out of her chair.

"Christ Al-fucking-mighty," she swears, one hand coming up to brace against her chest. Steve gets nailed with a furious glare. "Knock much?"

Well, that's one test passed. "Are you Dr. Ryder?"

"I am. Who the hell wants to—oh." Recognition dawns on her face as Steve gets close enough to be illuminated by her desk light. The fury in her shifts toward indignance. "I happen to hold a lot of respect for you, at least during normal business hours. So, I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt here and let you have a moment to explain yourself, captain."

He almost starts with an apology, but he catches himself in time. "I've been told you're one of the best neurosurgeons we're in contact with—"

"No, you've been told I am the best." She crosses her arms over her chest and leans back in her chair. Her head inclines toward him. "You can continue."

Steve's reservations about her being able to handle Bucky are leaving rapidly. It almost makes him smile. He holds it together with his best captain voice. "I need your expertise on a consultation. A private consultation. Completely off SHEILD books."

"Am I being roped into the organization's second overhaul?" There's bitterness lingering in her tone. The kind Steve remembers feeling on his own end for months leading up to Fury's near-assassination.

"No. When I say private, I mean private. This isn't under SHIELD purview. I'll be expecting discretion if you think you're up to the case, so we're clear."

The doctor's eyebrows sail up, and her head moves back far enough to hit her chair. "I'll be expecting you to hand over some details before I agree to a damn thing. As a follow-up, you can provide me with an explanation as to why this needed to be done an hour before midnight, with no forewarning and definitely no respect. Otherwise, you can turn your happy ass back around and go find the other neurosurgeons you didn't feel like harassing first."

Damn. He really should have gotten Natasha to do this; she's faster with proper comebacks. "You'll be given information as you need to know it. First, I need to make sure that—"

"First, you can fuck off." Her head shifts to one side as he pauses. "I don't respond well to authority, captain. I'm sure whatever's going on is very important if it's got America's Sweetheart making an ass of himself in the middle of my office on a Monday night. But that's not really my problem. It could be, were I given a reason to care about it."

"Does rectifying war crimes warrant your valuable attention, doctor?" The words feel awful leaving his mouth; she doesn't deserve to get barked at like this. But he needs an honest indication of how she'll react to a bad day.

Ava watches him with a slightly open mouth for more than a few tense moments. Then recognition dawns for a second time, and her eyes roll dramatically. "Oh, for god's sweet sake. You could have just asked if I have experience with PTSD patients. Hell, you were clearly sent by Tony, and I met the man at a veteran's benefit, so you could have asked him. Barnes' presence on the Avenger's roster isn't exactly a secret these days."

Steve holds himself still, then shifts his weight to one foot. "You met at a veteran's benefit?"

She nods slowly, with a bit of mockery behind the motion. "Yes. Almost a decade ago. He funds most of my work with the VA."

That hadn't been included in her resume. He didn't want to invade her privacy by pulling her file until she agreed to it. Steve feels heat rise to his cheeks. Then the anger starts to surface. "You know, I'm not one hundred percent sure I was supposed to know that."

"You think?" The words are bone dry, and her posture is still defensive, but there's a smile working its way up from the corners of her lips.

"Look, I...." Steve raises a hand to the back of his neck sheepishly. "I apologize. I promise it's not about doubting your professionalism—"

"It's about protecting family, yeah, I get it." Her arms don't unfold from her chest. But her eyebrows do come back down.

"He's very important to me. I want to make sure he's in good hands, that's all."

"Well?"

Steve's brows draw in. "I wasn't trying to dump the case on you right now—"

"No, idiot." Her eyes roll again, with much less aggression. "I'm asking if I passed."

"Oh." He nods, his cheeks still feeling far too hot. "With flying colors, so far. There's still a lot more to cover before we get Bucky involved, but. Yes, ma'am. I think you'll handle him just fine."

With a sigh, her arms finally lower. She extends a hand out in his direction. "Ava Ryder. It's very nice to meet you, Captain Rogers."

He takes her hand with a firm shake, inclining his head apologetically. "It's very nice to meet you, as well, doctor. You can call me Steve."

"You can call me Ava. So can James whenever I'm finally graced with his presence."

Yeah. She'll do just fine. "He prefers Bucky. And I'm sure he'll provide you with a much more agreeable first impression. All that can wait until you don't look like you're going to fall asleep on your keyboard, though.

Ava smiles warmly at him, falling back against her chair as she takes back her hand. "I'm looking forward to it. You can send me the details on the case at a reasonable hour to make up for scaring the shit out of me."

"Yes, ma'am." He tips his head respectfully, already backing up from her desk. "Sorry for the scare. And for being so disrespectful. He really is—"

"Important to you." She waves her hand dismissively before reaching up to push at her glasses. "I get it, don't worry. I'd be twice as much of a wreck in your shoes. You're doing fine."

Sometimes, on the rarest of occasions, there are benefits to having the worst moments of his life in the history books. "I appreciate that, thank you. You have a good rest of your night, ma'am. I'll send—I'll have JARVIS send you his file—"

"Captain Rogers is unaware of how to forward SHEILD files, doctor," the AI cuts in gleefully.

"I had my suspicions, JARVIS; thanks." She waves her hand again, this time in goodbye, as she looks back at her computer screen. "Please don't trip on my carpet and bust your ass on the way out of my office."

Steve pointedly turns on his heel, glad for the excuse to hide his burning face. He all but races to the door. "I'll be in contact, doc."

"Mhmm."

When he pulls open the painted door, he's almost unsurprised to find Natasha leaning against the other side of the hallway. She doesn't move at all, but one side of her mouth lifts in a smirk.

Steve lets the door shut softly behind him before cocking his head to the side. "Very cute. You two in on it together?"

"No, but sniffing out Tony's bait didn't take long. You'd have noticed, too, if you weren't so far up Bucky's ass." Her head tilts in the opposite direction as his. "Feel better?"

He straightens up with a nod. The motion feels confident. "Much."

—author's end notes, yoinked straight from ao3—

“what’s paige like?” well. to put it simply. she is every last ounce of karma that steve has earned by lovingly terrorizing his best friend 😌

i feel like the overall theme got covered enough with this to tell if the plot is for you or not. flirting starts next, but isn't super blatant until chap 4. i am in zero rush and will have no problem with dedicating an entire chap to cuddling tbh, this is a comfort project im in for the long haul. check back later for * to get full smut taste, current (possibly changing) map has it in chap 9. OR you can check back for kinktober, i have all 31 days outlined for these idiots. i need starfield to be good so i can do smut for that too, bethesda pls

keep in mind this will get sci-fi weird at times, and loosely ref/revolve around greek myth tropes bc iiiii like ‘em ❤️ im a fandom ancient who takes no issue with cleaning out the dickhead comments 😌 also i might edit shit. im still not clear on what ao3 will email about a bookmark (god willing its not edits that dont include a new chapter) but just in case i figured id warn for anyone who doesn't want email spam

im gonna try to keep ava and paige as vague as possible, aside from a few scattered physical details so i have SOMETHING to write. my favorite bucky fic in existence is a reader!fic (safe with me is Ungodly levels of good, and i dont just say that as a fellow west wing addict. i constantly forget that his apartment in it isn't actually canon and there're no m&ms hiding for eternity somewhere) so you wont get any judgment from me on replacing both of them right down to their names, that’s how im writing them!! it just feels unfair to tag it a reader fic with them being given SUCH a heavy “presence" i guess

main pov's (the undated ones) will always flip between bucky and ava. the dated ones are other characters pov's OOOOOOR its a flashback in which case it could be the two of them, but ill always try to make it clear whose headspace is focused up front, so i dont think ive set up a hurdle there

thanks for reading ❤️ i love and appreciate feedback immensely ❤️ feeds the brain chemicals 😌 no worries abt spoilers, i feel like anyone looking there knows what theyre risking lmao

[bmpmp3]

do i hate digital painting or do i love it, i still havent decided…..,,,.

[sahanaswrld]

"unattainable" j.h.s

self-indulgent minific (also posted on my group account! @multivrses )

summary: jake told himself that tonight would be a night dedicated to only him and his fellow pilots, but when you walk in, side-by-side with none other than bradley rooster bradshaw, he decides he needs to have you.

or where you are rooster's sister who catches jake hangman seresin's eye

pairing: Jake Hangman Seresin x Y/n Bradshaw

warnings: implied sex, cursing, not proofread

word count: 822

do not repost, translate, or copy my work without my permission.

it's not like Jake Seresin wanted to be known as a playboy, he just wanted to let off some steam with girls who may have thought it was going to lead into something... bigger, something... more permanent. Jake wasn't looking for that. so tonight, he decided no girls, just him and his fellow pilots. that was until he spotted a gorgeous woman walking into the Hard Deck with none other than his "rival" Bradley Rooster Bradshaw.

when Jake first laid his eyes on you, he had to do a quick double take. Bradley could pull? was his first thought, until he noticed the similarities between you two. your noses looked pretty similar, along with the few other things he could spot from this distance.

against his better judgement, he decided to go up to you guys, where you were being swarmed with the whole crew of aviators, Phoenix taking the lead and introducing you to everyone. once phoenix got around to him however, he took matters into his own hands.

"Hangman, darling." he said, holding out his hand with his cheeky (normally) pantie dropping smirk

you, however, looked him up and down, then looked at rooster with a raised eyebrow as if to say who is this guy

"ignore him Y/n, he always thinks he's the shit" phoenix said whilst rolling her eyes, which earned a few chuckles throughout the group

"Y/n, Brad's sister." you said while shaking his hand

before Hangman could say another word thought, you were whisked away by Phoenix taking you over to Penny to get some fresh drinks. hangman made his way back over to the pool table along with Coyote, Bob, Payback, and Fanboy.

you could feel his gaze burning into you even at the bar with your brother and your newest friend, Phoenix, who told you to call her Tash (short for Natasha) you couldn't lie though, he was attractive. though you promised yourself to never date a navy pilot because of the pain you had witnessed first hand from the death of your father, and the fear for your brother whenever he was called on missions, maybe it was okay to give this Hangman guy a shot.

after some ime, you found yourself waiting at the bar alone for your, now, fourth round of drinks for you and the pilots. Penny flashed you an apologetic smile and told yuo that she would be right to you right after she finished up with some other customers. you were twirling Bradley's credit card between your fingers until you felt a presence behind you,

"Did they leave you all alone darling?"

no doubt. it was Hangman. you twirled around coming face to face with his playful smirk

"Well, i guess i'm not alone anymore, hm?" oh he liked that. his smirk grew noticeably wider, this time reaching his twinking green eyes. they were truly captivating.

"I'm down to keep you company all night sweets" he said with a wink

you just rolled your eyes with that comment and turned around to Penny coming right towards you.

"What can i get you Y/n?" she said, giving a confused look as to why Hangman was standing so close. you just brused it off and gave your order, handing the credit card along with her.

Hangman waited with you until you got your drinks and walked back over to your little group with his arm slung around your shoulders.

as you approached the group, Tash gave you the same look that Penny did, that confused and quite concerned look. Rooster however, was more verbal.

"Hangman what the fuck are you doing with my sister."

"Well I was just-" you cut him off before he could anger Rooster

"He was waiting for the drinks with me Brad, he didn't pull any weird shit don't worry. He was actually pretty nice." you said while passing the round of drinks you got over to the aviators, the actions got a few quiet thanks. You could tell Bradley was about to speak again but you just shut him up with a look.

Tash guided Rooster and the others over to the piano, you knew Bradley was good and just loved to show off. surprisingly Hangman didn't join them, instead he walked over to the corner. you thought about going over with bradley, but decided against it. what's the worst thing that could happen witht his Hangman guy?

many things apparantly. how you found yourself tangled in his sheets, completely naked, with an equally naked Hangman lying next to you was a mystery. all you remembered was a few drinks with him, learning his name was Jake, and the drive over to his place. the rest was a blur but you could already figure out what you did.

as you sat up, Jake's eyes started to flutter. once his vision cleared all he said was:

"Shit, Rooster is gonna fuckin kill me."

[hornime]

mutually assured destruction | kyoutani kentarou x gn!reader

he pushed your cheeks in with his fingers, effectively quieting your protests. “be quiet,” he spat, “and take what i give you. or nothing at all.”

warnings: 18+, fwb!kyoutani, hate sex, degradation, orgasm denial, fighting for dominance (idek if that’s a thing but it should be), both you and kyo are BRATTY AS HELL, some choking, spitting, CHAIN BITING, kinda toxic ?? but like mutually so it cancels out cus pemdas ???

w/c: 1.7k (i got carried away but kyoutani is just so sexy)

a/n: the way i came up with this title while studying for apush and then kyoutani flooded my mind and suddenly the catalysts of the cold war no longer mattered to me anymore.

you and kyoutani were not a good mix, not by a long shot. simply being in the same room was a disaster waiting to happen; he was a bundle of tnt and you were a lit match. for all that you hated each other, though, both of you needed the other for something: a fuck that would never disappoint.

the sex, just like your relationship, was explosive. it was heart-stopping, ab-clenching, vision-blinding, breath-stealing, hardcore-as-fuck sex. neither of you could get enough of it nor wane yourself off it. you were addicted.

it made you hate him even more.

[11:05 PM] kyo-kyo: come over

you cringed at the contact name. you must’ve changed it after the last time you hooked up, all stupid and cock-drunk. you quickly retyped his contact info before responding to his message.

[11:05 PM] you: why

[11:05 PM] kyoutani: are you an idiot? you know why

[11:05 PM] you: ik i just wanna hear u say it

[11:05 PM] you: say that ur soooooo horny that you just haddddd to text me

[11:06 PM] kyoutani: no. fuck you.

[11:06 PM] you: fine. im not coming over then.

you both knew that was a lie.

[11:08 PM] you: have fun taking care of urself.

[11:08 PM] you: needy bitch.

[11:08 PM] kyoutani: watch it. i wasnt this mean when you were begging me to fuck you last week.

you sighed. that was a moment of weakness.

[11:08 PM] kyoutani: whatd you say last time? something along the lines of “ill do whatever you want just come fuck me”?

[11:11 PM] kyoutani: *attachment: one (1) screenshot*

[11:11 PM] kyoutani: ohh it was “ill do whatever you want PLEASE just come fuck me”

[11:12 PM] kyoutani: youre so much nicer to be around when you use your manners

definitely a moment of weakness.

[11:12 PM] you: fuck off i get it. im coming

[11:12 PM] kyoutani: doors unlocked

the moment you nudged your way into his apartment, he was on you, hands gripping tightly at the flesh of your hips and teeth nibbling at your bottom lip.

“get off,” you groaned, pushing him away. as you peeled off your jacket, you glanced down at his pants and looked back up at his face with an amused expression. “are you hard already?”

he met your eyes with a gaze of lust—and was that desperation?—before turning to walk towards his bedroom, expecting you to follow. “no.”

“yes you are,” you teased. “you really needed me, didn’t you? you’re absolutely pathe—”

before you could finish, kyoutani grabbed your wrist before practically dragging you to his bed. he pushed you onto the mattress and, with his hands on your waist, maneuvered your body up until your head rested between his two pillows. “stop fucking talking. your voice is annoying.”

“at least i can keep it in my pants,” you retorted. “you’re just embarrassingly horny.”

“you wouldn’t be here if you weren’t.” that shut you up.

he crept towards you until the gold chain around his neck dangled tantalizingly in your face. in an instant, you were kissing, aggressively melding your lips together in a mess of teeth and tongue. kyoutani’s hands clumsily reached for your bottoms, briefly breaking the kiss to unbutton your pants and yank them, along with your underwear, off your legs. he then did the same to himself, giving his leather belt a thoughtful once-over before glancing back at your face. he was clearly deliberating about something in his head, though you were completely clueless as to what, but he ultimately threw the belt to the side alongside his jeans with a shrug of his shoulders. maybe next time, he thought.

meanwhile, you’d taken off your shirt and were tugging at the hem at kyoutani’s. he seized your forearm, “stop being so impatient,” he chastised, before pulling the cloth over his head and letting it drop to the floor.

breathless, you both marveled in the glory of the other’s naked body. kyoutani, a lot more eager than you—though he’d rather die than admit that—closed the distance between you, leaning down to suck on your tongue. when he separated from you, his eyes cloudy and cheeks flushed, you spit in your palm, maintaining eye contact while feeling blindly for his cock.

he hissed, briefly shutting his eyes, as your fingers closed around his shaft, leisurely stroking up and down. 

“where’s the lube?”

“in the,“ his voice became strained as your thumb swirled his pre-cum around the tip, “the bo-bottom drawer. i’ll,” he groaned. “i’ll get it.”

you released his cock as he leaned over, opening the drawer and pulling out the bottle. he dribbled some of the liquid on the pads of his fingers and brought them closer to your hole. you tensed, eyes squeezing in anticipation as you prepared for the intrusion.

nothing happened.

in confusion, you opened your eyelids only to be met with the mildly-entertained expression of the man above you. “so hasty,” he tsked. his fingertips circled your fluttering hole but did nothing more.

“stop teasing,” you pleaded.

he slowly inched his fingers in, groaning as he watched your walls stretch to accommodate him. for a few minutes, he did nothing but push in and out and scissor his fingers, making you wider and wider.

“put it in.”

your words were met with little resistance—he wanted this as much as you did, if not more—and he repositioned himself, aligning his cock with your hole, now stretched and slick with lube. he moved his hips in, moaning lightly as he bottomed out.

“f-fuck,” he mumbled. “you’re so tight.”

“just move.”

he obliged, thrusting in and out, faster and faster, until you both were crying out in pleasure, scrumptiously close to your orgasms.

“i’m gonna cum soon,” you babbled. “don’t s-stop.”

“oh, are you now?”

you nodded mindlessly, brain hazy and unable to register the sinister undertone of his question.

“y-yeah. i’m so close. so. close—fuck i’m gon-”

kyoutani suddenly halted his movements, eyes blazing as he looked down at you.

“wha-why’d you stop?” you couldn’t help but whine. “i was so close.”

“are you seriously asking me that? why i stopped?” he taunted. “who’s the one that called me a ‘needy bitch’? huh?”

shit. if you’d known that he was going to use your jabs against you like this, you never would’ve made them. hindsight is a bitch.

“i didn’t mean it, kyo,” you pleaded, innocently using the cute nickname. “you know that. so why don’t you just give me what i wan-”

he pushed your cheeks in with his fingers, effectively quieting your protests. “be quiet,” he spat, “and take what i give you. or nothing at all.”

he thought for a moment. “and call me ken.”

he resumed his thrusts, significantly more erratic than before, and you couldn’t help but call out his name: ken, k-ken, fuck ken, more. 

however, you’d sobered up from your denied release, and a wicked plan was beginning to formulate in your head. kyoutani, actually ken, now, was losing his composure even faster than you were—he’d denied himself an orgasm for the sake of punishing you, after all. you could tell that his dominance was crumbling—his shaking forearms and barely concealed moans had not gone unnoticed—and now was a good a time as ever for revenge. 

and his chain, his stupid, fucking, gold chain, was getting on your nerves, clashing with your face every time his hips met yours. fed up and driven by vengeance, you clasped your teeth around the glimmering necklace, catching him off-guard.

he looked down at you, curiosity shining through his lustful gaze. “what’re yo-”

you quickly jerked your head to the side, yanking him off balance and making him land on his side. in an instant, you’d forced him onto his back and straddled his muscular thighs, a triumphant look visible on your face. 

“how’d you even d-” ken choked on his words as you slammed back down on him again, taking him impossibly deeper. his hands scrambled to grip the bedsheets, “shit.”

“for the record,” you panted in between heavy breaths, rocking your hips, “i called you a needy bitch because you are a needy bitch.”

“shut up. no i’m no-”

your hand closed around his neck, preventing him from continuing. “yes you are,” you insisted, “and you’ll take whatever i give you.”

he shook his head out of your grasp, gasping for air. “i fucking hate you.”

“open your mouth,” you ordered. he glared at you defiantly. “open,” you purposefully clenched, tightening your hold on his cock, “up.”

at the sudden change in pressure, he couldn’t help but throw his head back and moan, allowing you to harshly grab his chin and let your salvia drip off your lips onto his awaiting tongue.

“swallow,” you demanded.

overwhelmed by the undeniable pleasure coursing through his veins, he did so without complaint. why does it taste good, he sighed internally. now i’m gonna want more.

just a few thrusts later, you both reached your orgasms, moaning far too loud in a room of walls that were far too thin. the intensity made your muscles turn to jelly and you collapsed onto ken’s chiseled chest, your bodies both trembling.

“‘m tired,” you mumbled into his collarbone.

“yeah me too,” he snapped. “you’re fucking exhausting to be around. i don’t know why i do it.”

“i do,” you teased, raising your head, “‘cus you’re a needy bi-”

he mashed your cheek back into his shoulder. “don’t finish that.” you weren’t sure if the fuzziness in your mind was clouding your judgement, but you swore you could hear the hint of a snicker in his voice.

gradually shaking the exertion out of your limbs, you picked up your clothes and got dressed, walking out ken’s front door with a middle-finger throw over your shoulder.

“i hope i never have to see you again!” he called out behind you.

as you headed back to your apartment, your phone buzzed with a text:

[02:01 AM] ken: i have a team dinner on tues and its gonna be annoying and ill probably be frustrated as hell

[02:01 AM] ken: so

you hesitated before responding.

[02:01 AM] you: i can be there around 10

[02:02 AM] ken: cool. sounds good

you couldn’t help the corners of your mouth from turning up. you were happy—in a sick, perverted, sex-crazed kind of way—but happy all the same.

tuesday couldn’t come soon enough. you were going to absolutely destroy each other.

© property of hornime 2021. do not plagiarize any of my writing and do not repost/copy my writing onto any other sites.

[shurisneakers]

shut in [14]

Summary: When your high profile mission goes terribly wrong, you’re forced to hide in a safehouse with a man you’ve never met before. With seemingly nowhere else to go, you’re forced to work together to figure out who is trying to have you assassinated before it’s too late. (Sam Wilson x Reader, Hitman AU)

Warnings: anxiety, violence, guns, death, ptsd, swearing, abuse

Word count: 6.3k

A/N: last chapter you guys :’’’’) im too emo about a fanfic i s2g. there’s an epilogue but this is the official last chapter. 

i really appreciate feedback so if you would like to, please consider dropping me an ask or comment ly guys!

Previous Part || Shut In Masterlist

You had only heard of the warehouse before, never actually seen it.

Its reputation preceded it. It was only mentioned in passing as a place for the worst of the worst.

It was murky and smelled like rust, concrete and rotting corpses. You had no doubt a few of them would be littering the place. A few tube lights shone over you graciously like a spotlight, barely illuminating the area. 

The room you were in was utterly silent. The only exception were noises outside the door; loud shouts and clanging of metal. You assumed it to be people in the other rooms. Your assessment on how tight the ropes were coiled around you earned a few grunts and odd squeaks, but nothing major. 

You were bound to a chair, of course, with knots you had used before on others. It felt like a convoluted form of irony. It was firmly nailed to the ground to prevent you from using it against captors. You were gagged; pretty well, by the look of it. 

A noise from beside you threw you off track. A quick look to your left and you found Sam in a similar predicament. He shook his head slightly, implying that it was useless to find an opening. At least he was alive and breathing. 

“Are you done?” A voice came from behind you, echoing within the four walls. “I really want to get going and you’re taking too long.”

You knew who it was. It was impossible for you to mistake it at this point.

“Don’t mind the noise outside. We’re just torturing a bunch of people to death.”

You roll your eyes out of sheer instinct. The footsteps slowly moved towards the front of the room, heavy and deliberate. The expensive material of his suit shone under the light as he edged in front of you. Only he’d wear Armani to a murder.

The dramatic fuck clearly rehearsed it.

“Hey Buttercup,” Ransone smiled, distinctly proud of himself. Your bite on the bundle of cloth haphazardly shoved in your mouth tightened. “Been waitin’ on you for a while now. Wilson’s no good company.”

You sneak a glance at Sam’s side profile and he looks relatively untouched. There were a few cuts on his face that you could make out under the harsh light but that was it. 

“You can’t get out of those, if you're wondering.” He gestured to your current set up. “I told you, Sam. I save my warehouse for special guests. All your fun tools are gone. Took ‘em when you were brought in.”

As your eyes adjusted to the lighting, you faintly make out the presence of two men in the corners of the room, stiff as cardboard. His security. 

“Oh! Except this.” He brandished the paper airplane you had brought with you in the utility belt. He’d use anything to potentially get a rise out of you.

“Gettin’ sentimental now, are we?” He tested the tip of the plane with his finger. 

You prayed he wouldn’t destroy it. It had more value than he was willing to bet on. 

“You must be asking yourselves why you ended up here,” Ransone mused, looking at the plane from all angles. “No need to worry, I’ll tell you.”

You didn't expect anything less from him. Everything about this felt cinematic; the inconvenient lighting, the men standing in the corner. This man oozed drama over efficiency. 

“When I was just starting out, people warned me. Told me I wasn’t going to get anywhere, that we’d always stay in the same position because that’s how it’s been for all these years.” He tested the plane, holding onto the body sturdily.  

“There were too many big names already. We were one of them, of course. My father did a good job of giving us a solid foundation.” He pulled his wrist back like he was going to launch it, only to never actually do it. He carried it through the air, simulating its flight pattern.

“You remember my father, don’t you? The guy who cut off someone’s finger because they didn’t finish the job.” Ransone really only had one story to tell about his father and he worked it to death. Other than a few handful of times, his father never bothered about his presence much from what you heard. He favoured the ones who were brutal and Ransone- well, he was a glorified theatre kid. 

“Of course you do. He was an incredible man.” He laughed crisply. “But he had no real ambition. No drive. I told him we could have been at the top, the ones parents warn their kids about. He didn’t listen to me. He never really paid attention.”

His tone got wistful in the end, eyes distant like he was living the scene out in his head. 

“So obviously when he died, I had the chance to really make a difference. Really set us apart. Ten Rings and Hydra had their own niche; they had some ties with the military and the government and whatnot. Crazy motherfuckers, all of them.” He shook his dead in distaste. “But Serpentine- that was closer to home. Same market as us.”

You wondered how long he would take to get to the point. The only distraction you had were the noises that continued outside. An odd gunshot here and there really pulled your attention away from the story.

“Serpentine with their stupid code names. They really thought they were all that.” He sounded embarrassingly like a bitchy teenager. “Who do they think they were fooling with the Norse Gods thing, huh? Naming your leader Odin, his wife Frigga.”

“I fucking hated them,” he spat, face twisting into anger. “Told them to watch out, that I’d end their legacy. They laughed in my face.” 

He spun around, a wicked gleam in his eyes as he pointed to Sam, “That’s where you come in.”

Sam looked thoroughly irritated with the show that was going on in front of him. If he wasn’t gagged you had no doubt he’d have a few comments to pass. Ones that would get the both of you killed. 

“I told you to kill their leader. One job. You fucked that up.” Sam recalling the story of his first mission flashed in your memory. “Let that old nutjob into your head and allowed him to escape. We didn’t know where he was for years.”

“I let it go because I thought Serpentine was done for. Radio silence after Odin disappeared. And they were, until a few years ago when I get news that they have a new leader. Odin’s son, the new heir.” He waved around his hands, mocking the last part of his sentence. “Word on the street was that he wanted to kill whoever murdered his mother in front of his eyes.”

“I thought that was hilarious. You know why?” He laughed humourlessly. “Because that was you. You were the one who killed his mother. You remember that? Your big mission?”

“You killed my mom,” he jeered, unmoving.

“I’m sorry. I had to.” Your voice was quiet. Your hand clutched at the hood of the car to keep your balance. “But I don’t want to hurt you. Go.”

“He wasn’t supposed to be there. No one had even heard of him. His brother’s too soft to take on anything like this. He’s some farmer in England now. But he was supposed to be Odin’s only son. Yet somehow, the only person who could have known this other son existed and actually seen him… was you.”

“Turns out he’s like you. A secret adoption. No record of him anywhere.” You didn’t blink, not once taking your eyes off him in case he decided to go wild. “He should have died that day. You were supposed to kill them.”

Only Ransone would justify killing a kid because it fit his agenda. It wasn’t like he hadn’t done it before, and though he tried very hard to shove his ideology onto you, you never complied.

“Goes by Loki now, another stupid codename. Trained by his father who this idiot let go of.” He gestured to Sam callously, “and mad about the murder of his mother that you committed. Serpentine came back pretty quickly after he took control.”

A particularly loud sound of metal slamming would have made you jump had you not been tied down. Ransone swung around in anger, loudly cursing at them for ruining his train of thought. He muttered some more curses under his breath before plastering a fake smile on his face and continuing.

“I’ll admit, he’s a sneaky one. But they grew faster than any other cartel. They somehow knew all our connections, all our targets, our key players. It wasn’t possible,” he shook his head low as he paced up and down slowly. You knew where this was headed. “Unless we had someone giving them information from the inside.”

He stops to look at you.

“I would have forgiven you, Y/N, I really would. You know how I am about second chances.” He looked at you, eyebrows upturned with regretful eyes. “But then you had to go and spy on me for two years.”

You could see Sam turn to you from the corner of your eye, assessing your reaction. You didn't extend the same courtesy to him. You didn’t have any reaction.

“We found out very late, of course. I taught you well,” he chided, his inescapable  narcissism making an appearance once more. “But then we had to figure out why. Why you’d betray me and everything I’ve done for you.”

“I still can’t figure that out.” You wanted to scream at him, everything he had taken away from you, everything he forced you to be. “I treated you the best out of everyone I had. You had the best training, the best resources. You wouldn’t have made it anywhere if I didn’t drag you out of that shithole orphanage.”

You had heard of blissfully ignorant, but he was well beyond that at this point. 

“Didn’t take too long to connect the dots. What, with Wilson’s great act of charity and your lack of better judgement, both of you managed to fuck up enough to screw me over years later.”

“I initially was only going to have you killed, Buttercup,” he admitted nonchalantly, like your life had no value. “But then we found out that Sam’s been lying to me for a long time too. Been hidin’ his friend a few states away.”

“It was meant to be,” he cooed. “Such a similar past. You could have met each other before, you know? Pierce wouldn’t be the first time you were at the same house on the same day.”

You couldn’t help but wonder what it would have been like if you had known Sam earlier. Would you have been friends or would you have been forced to kill each other in his sick ‘survival of the fittest’ game?

“It felt poetic to have you both die together, you know? On a mission gone wrong. A full circle.” God, he spent too long planning something elaborate when he could have just put a bullet in your head and ended you the day he found out. Fucking weirdo.

“Made sure I sent you to the same place at the same time. Pierce was dead long before you came, the poor fuck. But then again, collateral damage. No mercy.” He shrugged. “Had everyone at the ready. You should have died that night.”

“But like everything you do,” his voice suddenly rose like a child throwing a tantrum, “you fucked that up for me too. Escaped with his stupid fucking car.”

“None of those useless agents could find you. How could they?” The beauty was that Ransone must have spent too long looking when you were basically right there, just miles away. “You didn’t go to one of our locations and Serpentine hides their safehouses well.”

You still remembered the relief when the door accepted your fingerprint. 

 It was a long shot but you didn't have anywhere else to go. You weren’t even sure that this house existed.

Another loud crash arrived from the outside with noises that sounded like more gunshots, making Ransone jump this time. Just how many people were being tortured here?

“Keep the volume down, you stupid fucking imbeciles!” he screeched, pounding at the metal door. The decibel reduced, but still continued on.  

He dragged his palm across his face in exasperation, talking under his breath to himself. He shook his head before turning back to you.

"Oh, by the way, don't think about escaping. Got every last one of my best agents out here after that stunt you pulled at Pierce’s house,” he says offhandedly.

He takes a second to regroup, get back into character.

“So we released your pictures to the public. Can’t go very far if people are looking for you constantly. It was the only way we could get you to stay in one place.” Ransone raised his shoulders casually. “We had every lowlife out there waiting for one of you to show up.”

“We eventually had someone report Wilson in a town a while away from Pierce. I was making my way there but then you sent me your location on your own. Had men outside your house that night.” He paused, peering at the plane in his hand.

He finally let it go, watching as it barely went any distance before nose diving to the ground. Your eyes trailed after it, hoping he wouldn’t crush it with his foot.

“This is the worst fucking paper plane I’ve ever seen. The balance is completely off.” He stared at it in wonder, picking it up again and shoving it back into his pocket. You let out a breath you didn’t realise you were holding. “Anyway one of them heard you talkin’ about how you’re leaving the next day so we just got ready at the door.”

“Et voila.” He grinned, spreading his arms. “Here we are. Brilliant, wasn’t it?”

Unnecessarily long, but you weren’t going to complain. 

“Oh, I forgot you can’t talk.” His mouth quirked downwards into a ‘whoops’. 

He took a long pause right in front of you before his hand reached out to cradle your face. “I wouldn’t let those idiots kill you, Buttercup. You deserved better than that.”

He stared unnervingly into your eyes, looking for a hint of anything, any sort of remorse. He wasn’t going to find any. You wished he saw nothing but hatred. 

“It’s why I had to kill you myself.” He sighed when you pulled your face away the best you could from his palm in disgust. “But I’ll do you a solid. I’ll give you a chance to beg for forgiveness. Maybe if you’re good enough I’ll let you go.”

You knew he was lying. He had no intention of doing that. He only wanted you to grovel in submission, plead for your life for a fucking power trip.

He ripped off the tape that was over your mouth, making you flinch at the burn. He pulled out the cloth faster than you could spit it out at him.

“Go ahead,” Ransone said smugly. His ego would outlive all of you. 

“Him first.” Your mouth was dry and your lips felt chapped. You had clearly been knocked out for a while by then. You had no idea how far away you were from the original location.

“What?” His smile dropped to a frown rather quickly.

“Him first.” You mentioned towards Sam with your head. 

“That’s cute.” He laughed, stopping when you didn’t join in. “Oh, you’re serious.”

“I’m not saying shit till he does too.” You were bemused, monotonous. You just wanted to get this over as quickly as possible. 

“Fine,” he huffed when your expression didn’t change. “It’d be fun to watch him beg anyway.”

You hear the rip of the tape from his face, the scrunch of the material before he balled it up and threw it on the floor.

Sam shook his head furiously, forcing Ransone to take a step back swiftly before he hit him. 

“Right.” Ransone clapped his hands together. “Let’s get star-”

He was interjected by another loud bang followed by a series of gunshots. Another victim massacred. He groaned in frustration, stamping his feet at the constant interruption. The universe was determined to not let him finish his monologue in peace, and for that, you thanked her.

You looked at Sam, nodding slightly. He gave you a small smile in return, calming the nerves you were beginning to feel.

“Where were we?” Ransone did not look happy; a vein was dangerously visible on his forehead. Now would not be the best time to do anything that angered him. “Yes, go ahead. Beg.”

“Ransone,” Sam began, exhaling lightly. “We knew.”

The smile on Ransone’s face faltered. “What did you say?”

“He said we knew,” you cut in. “You melodramatic fuck.”

Ransone’s grin faded abruptly and it was by far the most satisfying experience you had ever experienced.

“Yeah, we figured it out ourselves a while ago.” Sam had the slightest smirk on his face. “Y/N did, actually.”

“Fuck,” you cursed.

You could feel his muscle shift as he looked at you. 

“What’s wrong?” 

You opened your mouth but shut it again. How do you explain it to him without sounding utterly ridiculous?

“I need to tell you something and I need you to hear me out before saying anything,” you pulled away from him, shuddering at the sudden cold that enveloped you. 

“I’m listening.”

“I think it’s Ransone. He’s been trying to kill us.”

“Why?” He didn’t sound judgemental, hardly even fazed, like it was a completely plausible suggestion. You couldn’t express how glad you were.

“The guy you didn't kill, if he’s the old head of Serpentine, then... I know his son.” Your mouth was dry as your mind raced to piece it together. “He’s the one I didn’t kill.”

“What?” Sam’s eyebrows furrowed, and you could see him trying to figure out the connection. “How are you so sure?”

You closed your eyes, letting out a deep exhale. “I’m going to need you to not react to what I’m going to tell you.”

“Okay...” he trailed off. 

“I’ve been working with him for two years. Passing information on to him about Ransone.”

“Wait so that means-”

“I’m the spy. And I think Ransone figured it out. He wants to kill me.”

“You knew,” Ransone stated. He looked like he was in a daze.

Sam looked at you once before nodding. “If you would shut up and let someone else talk for once, we would have told you a while ago.”

“It helped that you confirmed details about Pierce’s death without us having to tell you.” The last conversation you had with him replayed in your head verbatim. “There’s no way you would have known he was dead before we got there unless we told you. Or you did it.” 

“We knew you had agents outside the house. Kinda expected that when we gave you the address,” you shrugged the best you could, “Sam’s security cameras got all of them.”

“Made sure that one fuck behind the tree could hear us planning outside,” Sam added. “He wasn’t very stealthy, by the way.”

“Have you decided on a day?”

You nod, looking straight ahead into the darkness. “Tomorrow.”

“You sure? Our timing has to be right.”

“Yeah.” Your voice is coarse. “I’ll have to tell him.”

He nodded, leaning his elbows on his knees. He was too tall for the stairs, almost like he was crouching instead of sitting.

His voice dropped to a whisper like it’s a secret only meant for you.

“You knew you were going to be ambushed.”

“No shit.” You nodded. 

The loud bangs continued outside the door but you paid no heed to it. The closer it got, the more your stomach jumped, hoping that more people you pissed off didn’t storm in. You had quite a list anyway.

“You knew they were coming,” Ransone appeared like he had gears turning in his own head, trying to add everything up on his own. “Then why didn’t you run?”

“Well, we kinda needed all of you in one place.” 

“Huh?” He blinked, not listening to all the commotion that was going on around him. If he didn’t, he was choosing to focus on this instead.

“We had to take out all of you at once,” you disclosed, fidgeting with the rope to see if it would give. “Kinda knew you were waiting to kill us yourself when we gave you the location and nothing happened immediately. You’re too much of a sissy to kill us without backup so we wanted you in one place with the rest of them.”

You tilted your head towards the two men standing in the corner.

“You knew all this while and lied,” Ransone jeered, face twisting into something rather indiscernible; a nice mix of shame and rage.

“Not like we had another choice, man.” You just knew Sam was rolling his eyes. “You think I would voluntarily listen to you monologue like an idiot?”

“You did gag us,” you added, trying to buy as much time as you could. “That’s on you.” 

The ropes were still tight as could be and the chair wouldn’t budge. Even your feet were too tightly tied together to do anything. It was what you expected, but that wasn’t going to stop you.

“Shut up!” Ranone’s face was hideously red.

“You rehearsed it, didn’t you?” Sam called out, taunt in his tone. “With the lighting and shit.”

“He doesn’t have to. He does one a week to some poor fuck who has to listen.” 

You couldn’t believe the both of you were teaming up to bully a man who literally held the fate of your lives in his hands. It was something you never imagined yourself doing.

“How do people take you seriously?” Sam laughed. More than yours, his remarks seemed to be ticking Ransone off. 

Ransone let out a guttural cry, knuckles so white you were afraid they were going to break. He whips around, stomping over to pull the gun from the hand of one of his bodyguards.

“Easy there, DeNiro, that’s not a stage prop.” Sam chided.

The concrete in front of him suddenly cracks loudly. He looked up, slightly taken aback. 

“Next time it’ll be your fucking face,” Ransone snarled, waving the gun around like a maniac. You send a cautionary glance to Sam, telling him to back off. Ransone was volatile. He would act without thinking. 

“Why did you kill everyone I was friends with, Vincent?” you asked slowly, trying to divert his mind. 

He turned to you, a crazed look in his eyes.

“Why did you take everyone from me?” The more you asked, the more it became about genuine curiosity rather than a distraction from shooting Sam in the head.

“Take everyone from- none of them were going to last anyway!” He throws his hands up in the air angrily. “I was saving you from yourself. From the eventual pain.”

His face was desperate, and you for a second forced yourself to think from his perspective. He looked like he truly believed in what he was saying, like he genuinely thought he was supporting you. Like he cared. The thought that maybe he truly wanted to help you was the only way you could comfort yourself for so many years. 

“If you were in pain, you wouldn’t perform. I was only pushing you to your full potential,” he continued, a wild smile on his face mixed with eyes rimmed red like he was ready to cry. 

Your stomach sank, even though you hated it. It wasn’t about you, it was about what he could get from you. 

There was silence. Even the noises outside seemed to have stopped, all waiting for your next move.

“You’re a sick, conniving fuck,” your words waver, and you hope it hits him as hard as it can, “And I can’t wait till you’re dead.”

His face morphed from one of helplessness to slow fury once more. Manipulative prick.

“Do I have to remind you that you’re the one tied up?” He wipes at his nose, voice returning to normal. “The only reason you’re alive right now is because I need to know why you let yourself be captured so willingly.”

Your incessant need to know everything stemmed from him and the paranoia he induced in you from when you were a kid. Everything you thought was wrong about you came from him.

“We told you, you overdramatic fuck.” Sam drew the attention away from you thankfully. You took a deep breath, stabilizing yourself. 

“What, that you needed the team in one place to take us out?” Ransone asked, to no one’s answer. “You and what army?”

“Well, the one who’s been here for a while now,” you pipe up.

No one says anything. Pin drop silence reigns free. 

“You said he’d be here,” Sam hissed at you. “How much longer do we keep this going?”

“He said he would,” you argued back, feeling the heat creep into your cheeks.

“What the fuck are you both talking about?” Ransone asked, but you continued to ignore him.

“What are we going to do if he-”

The door violently exploded off its hinges, sending debris flying everywhere. You clenched your eyes shut and ducked your head to avoid getting smacked in the face with rubble

The dust hadn’t even cleared before multiple rounds were fired. You flinched when your ringing ears hurt more at the sound of gunshots. 

You struggle against your ropes, trying to get to Sam. They only get tighter until suddenly your arms break free. Your neck and legs soon follow as you shrug off the ropes that were cleanly sliced off.

Your ears were still getting used to the chaos when you notice someone humming behind you. It took a second to register that it was a fucking Britney Spears song. 

“What took you so long?” You coughed, waving the air in front of you to clear it as you stumbled towards Sam.

“I wanted to make an entrance,” Loki said dismissively, following you. “I think I may have overshot it by a few seconds.”

You fell to your knees in front of Sam, quickly moving to untie the familiar knots. He lifted his head to look at you, a thin layer of dust covering his face.

“Are you okay?” you asked in concern, simultaneously untying as fast as you could. It was one you had used many times before; a complicated knot that guaranteed you wouldn’t have been able to make it out of the bondage.

“I think my leg’s asleep but other than that I’m good.” 

You give him a small smile, thankful that he wasn’t hurt enough to lose his dry sense of humour. Your hand involuntarily reached up to brush some dust off his cheekbone. The intensity with which he looked at you had you swallowing thickly.

You snapped out of it quickly, working on freeing his legs as Loki took a step behind his chair to cut the rest of him loose.

“This him?” Sam mentioned to Loki, massaging his wrist to return some feeling into it. 

“You can just ask me, you know,” Loki commented, but clearly not taking any offence. 

“I’m sorry about your family, man.” 

You didn’t expect Sam to say that, and from the looks of it, neither did Loki. He stopped for a moment, before continuing to cut the last rope.

“You let my father go,” he said, sawing the last part off, “and although I personally think you should have killed the miserable old bastard, he made it clear that he owed you one.”

The both of you stood up. You glanced around the room, noting how both of Ransone’s bodyguards were on the floor, bullet holes riddling their body. 

He himself was beside them, lying facefront on the ground. Armani suit be damned.

“How many more are outside?” Sam asked, tearing your attention away from the bodies on the floor.

“All taken care of.” Loki put the knife back into its sheath on his thigh. “We made quite a commotion. I’m surprised he didn’t do anything.”

“He’s a little dense,” Sam remarked. Most of the noises you heard earlier weren’t just other victims being tortured, although you knew that it was still a large fraction of it.

“Should we go?” you asked, doing a quick sweep of the room. You found nothing moving among the pile of rubble.

“Unless you got anything else left to do.” Loki gestured to the large hole in the wall where the door was.

“I think we’re done.”

He simply nodded, spinning on his heel to walk out the room when someone yelled from behind you. 

You all halted what you were doing, slowly turning to look at where the noise was coming from.

“Don’t take another step,” Ransone warned, a gun pointed straight at you, barely able to stand straight. He looked worse than you’d ever seen him. His suit was torn and he had a few streaks of blood down his face. His hair was tousled and unkempt, rougher than it had ever been before. “Or I swear I’ll-”

“Oh, shut up,” Loki interjected, firing a shot into Ransone’s stomach before anyone could even react. He returned the gun to its holster that you didn’t even notice was there on his waist. “He talks too much.”

Ransone staggered back until he hit the wall, knees buckling beneath his weight as he slid to the ground. The gun he pried off his bodyguards lay where he was standing previously. 

You ignored Sam’s uneasy questions as you took a step forward. 

You picked the gun up, cautiously making your way to Ransone. You crouched next to his body. He looked at you before looking down. You followed his line of sight, watching as he lifted his hands. They were covered in blood. 

“How’d he know where to find you?” Ransone’s voice was more subdued than you’d ever heard him.

You reached over, slipping your fingers into his jacket pocket and pulled out the paper airplane that was flattened due to the impact.

“Hey, you can put a message in it. Maybe one of those button trackers, a microphone. The possibilities are endless.” He laughed, folding another one out of the limited supply of paper he had left.

You unfolded it, letting a small object, not bigger than a button, fall into your palm. He stared at it before realisation dawned on him. 

“I knew you’d take all my weapons, but you wouldn’t get rid of this,” you disclosed, folding the paper plane back to what it was and gently putting it into your pocket. It was still salvageable. “Not if you could use it to hurt me.” 

You watched him take a shaky breath, flinching when more blood rushed out of him. 

“You can still help me, Y/N. We can get out of here together,” he rasped. “Think about everything we’ve been through. We can work it out. I love you.”

You involuntarily let out a strangled cry at the last part. It was nothing but a last ditch attempt to persuade you, pull you back in.

“Look- look at me. Buttercup,” he croaked when you wouldn’t oblige. “I love you. I’m your home.” 

You finally look at him. Look right into his eyes, red rimmed and fading. You look for it, the adoration he spoke of. The care he promised. Anything to make sense of why he would tear you apart time and time again. The love he had for you.

You find nothing. Gray eyes look back at you blankly, desperately, in pain.

“You never were,” you whisper, standing up abruptly. 

You raised your arm, pointing the gun at him. He sputtered out more half baked apologies, unaware of anything that was coming out of his own mouth.

You clench your eyes shut, pulling the trigger. He lets out a cry when the bullet lodges in his shoulder. 

You take a step back, letting the scene imprint itself in your brain of him powerless on the ground at your will. If you followed what he preached, you’d have ended his life right there. No mercy.

But you weren’t him. And you didn’t ever want to be.

“I need to do something too,” you heard Sam say. You can feel him near you, brushing against you for a moment as he gently reached for the gun you held. You gave it to him, feeling him squeeze your hand in reassurance. 

Ransone looked at Sam as he stood beside you. He fired a single shot into his leg, clearly hitting bone. You hear the same wail from before, mixed with sputtering as blood leaked from his mouth.

“That was from Riley. He says fuck you.” Sam let his hand fall again. “All yours, man.” 

“You already know what this is for,” Loki said simply. 

You chose not to look away as he shot the last round right into his forehead. Ransone’s head slumped over. Dead, glassy eyes stared beyond you. 

None of you say anything. Just stare at the lifeless body in front of you.

“It’s really over, huh?” Sam’s voice is quiet, like he's having trouble processing what just happened.

You don’t answer. Only take a step towards him, and intertwine your fingers with his, continuing to stare at the corpse of your lifelong abuser. 

____

The sun was beating down on you. You didn’t expect it to be evening when you stepped out of the warehouse. 

“Where are we?” you asked, shielding your eyes from the sudden brightness that left you squinting.

“Middle of nowhere, I’d say.” Loki stares with disdain at the old building that looked worse for wear. “Would it kill the man to have a bit of taste?”

That reminded you. “Thanks for the house. And… sorry we showed up uninvited.”

“You didn’t do too much damage to it, I hope.”

You looked at him guiltily, mind flashing to the many bullet holes that decorated the back wall. “I’ll pay for the repairs.”

“Forget it. It’s of no use since everyone knows it exists now.” He dismissed with a wave of his hand. “So, Y/N. I guess that concludes our deal?”

“I guess it does.” You nodded,

Sam wraps his arms around your shoulder and you lean into him with a sigh, allowing the comfort his touch brought to seep into you. 

“How’d you guys make a deal anyway?” he inquired. You closed your eyes, chest rising and falling steadily.

“Well, I was going to kill you at first,” Loki explained offhandedly, gesturing to you. “But then-”

He trailed off.

You remember, clear as day, when Loki confronted you in the early hours of the morning outside the park you went on runs. He had a gun pulled on you before you could fathom what was going on, before you could even realise who he was.

“But then?” Sam prodded.

“Did he make it?”

“He did,” you divulged the information you had found out a while ago. It was a messy confrontation to say the least but you got out unscathed.

“Saw something that I recognised,” he said dryly, eyeing you up and down. “We were both pulled into something we didn’t have a say in. Stuck, you could say. I just thought that it was a win-win situation if we worked together to kill that idiot back there.” 

“So you agreed to spy on him,” Sam concluded. “You got revenge. What was your incentive?”

You look at Loki who just smiled at you. You return one half heartedly.

“I’d say freedom is a pretty big reward, wouldn’t you?” And it was. You couldn’t even begin to explain the weight that would be lifted off your shoulders. “I can’t guarantee you’ll have a perfectly normal life. Might have to change your identity, move around a bit.”

“Everyone’s looking for us as wanted criminals,” Sam voiced everything you were forgetting about in the surge of emotions rushing through you.

“I got some connections,” Loki said dismissively. You peered at him from under Sam's arm. “I can have it traced back to a dead mobster in a warehouse, no problem. If they think it’s a gang war there’s no way they’ll try to get too involved. Consider it a gift from my father.” 

Sam nodded, relaxing slightly now that most things were taken care of.

“That’s sorted then.” Loki examined the barren land that surrounded you. “You’re going to need a ride back to civilization, aren’t you?”

“If that’s possible.”

“I’ll have someone drop you off. You got any place to go? At least to stay low for a while.”

You didn’t have anyone. The only one you had was the man beside you. Nothing was settling in at the moment, and you realised that it would be a long road until it did. But you had a shot. A real shot at something even resembling recovery. 

Sam and you looked at each other before he turned back to Loki and nodded.

“New Orleans.”

Next part

here’s my ko-fi if you’d like to support my writing <3

here’s a list of references/foreshadowing to the end all throughout the series!

[multivrses]

"unattainable" j.h.s

self-indulgent minific by sahana!! (@sahanaswrld)

summary: jake told himself that tonight would be a night dedicated to only him and his fellow pilots, but when you walk in, side-by-side with none other than bradley rooster bradshaw, he decides he needs to have you.

or where you are rooster's sister who catches jake hangman seresin's eye

pairing: Jake Hangman Seresin x Y/n Bradshaw

warnings: implied sex, cursing, not proofread

word count: 822

do not repost, translate, or copy my work without my permission.

it's not like Jake Seresin wanted to be known as a playboy, he just wanted to let off some steam with girls who may have thought it was going to lead into something... bigger, something... more permanent. Jake wasn't looking for that. so tonight, he decided no girls, just him and his fellow pilots. that was until he spotted a gorgeous woman walking into the Hard Deck with none other than his "rival" Bradley Rooster Bradshaw.

when Jake first laid his eyes on you, he had to do a quick double take. Bradley could pull? was his first thought, until he noticed the similarities between you two. your noses looked pretty similar, along with the few other things he could spot from this distance.

against his better judgement, he decided to go up to you guys, where you were being swarmed with the whole crew of aviators, Phoenix taking the lead and introducing you to everyone. once phoenix got around to him however, he took matters into his own hands.

"Hangman, darling." he said, holding out his hand with his cheeky (normally) pantie dropping smirk

you, however, looked him up and down, then looked at rooster with a raised eyebrow as if to say who is this guy

"ignore him Y/n, he always thinks he's the shit" phoenix said whilst rolling her eyes, which earned a few chuckles throughout the group

"Y/n, Brad's sister." you said while shaking his hand

before Hangman could say another word thought, you were whisked away by Phoenix taking you over to Penny to get some fresh drinks. hangman made his way back over to the pool table along with Coyote, Bob, Payback, and Fanboy.

you could feel his gaze burning into you even at the bar with your brother and your newest friend, Phoenix, who told you to call her Tash (short for Natasha) you couldn't lie though, he was attractive. though you promised yourself to never date a navy pilot because of the pain you had witnessed first hand from the death of your father, and the fear for your brother whenever he was called on missions, maybe it was okay to give this Hangman guy a shot.

after some ime, you found yourself waiting at the bar alone for your, now, fourth round of drinks for you and the pilots. Penny flashed you an apologetic smile and told yuo that she would be right to you right after she finished up with some other customers. you were twirling Bradley's credit card between your fingers until you felt a presence behind you,

"Did they leave you all alone darling?"

no doubt. it was Hangman. you twirled around coming face to face with his playful smirk

"Well, i guess i'm not alone anymore, hm?" oh he liked that. his smirk grew noticeably wider, this time reaching his twinking green eyes. they were truly captivating.

"I'm down to keep you company all night sweets" he said with a wink

you just rolled your eyes with that comment and turned around to Penny coming right towards you.

"What can i get you Y/n?" she said, giving a confused look as to why Hangman was standing so close. you just brused it off and gave your order, handing the credit card along with her.

Hangman waited with you until you got your drinks and walked back over to your little group with his arm slung around your shoulders.

as you approached the group, Tash gave you the same look that Penny did, that confused and quite concerned look. Rooster however, was more verbal.

"Hangman what the fuck are you doing with my sister."

"Well I was just-" you cut him off before he could anger Rooster

"He was waiting for the drinks with me Brad, he didn't pull any weird shit don't worry. He was actually pretty nice." you said while passing the round of drinks you got over to the aviators, the actions got a few quiet thanks. You could tell Bradley was about to speak again but you just shut him up with a look.

Tash guided Rooster and the others over to the piano, you knew Bradley was good and just loved to show off. surprisingly Hangman didn't join them, instead he walked over to the corner. you thought about going over with bradley, but decided against it. what's the worst thing that could happen witht his Hangman guy?

many things apparantly. how you found yourself tangled in his sheets, completely naked, with an equally naked Hangman lying next to you was a mystery. all you remembered was a few drinks with him, learning his name was Jake, and the drive over to his place. the rest was a blur but you could already figure out what you did.

as you sat up, Jake's eyes started to flutter. once his vision cleared all he said was:

"Shit, Rooster is gonna fuckin kill me."

sahana, out

[beccascribbles]

hi! can i ask for a scenario where ushijima, tsukki, kenma said something maybe out of the line that hurt your feelings and you just give them the silent treatment or become distant?? then like how they'd react to it and stuff :) thank you vm, have a good day 🙈

a/n - sorry this took me so long to write (and post). anyway, i hope you enjoy it. it was my first time writing for kenma so i'm not sure if i portrayed him right but let me know what you think!

"you're acting like a child," he sighs, pushing you away from him. your arms fall to your sides, missing the feeling of ushijima's warm body. "stop being so clingy. it's annoying"

you knew he was honest, but there is a time and a place for him to voice his opinion on your affection, and in front of his friends was not one of them

all you had wanted to do was give him a hug in greeting. yes, you may have stayed attached to him longer than was necessary but you had barely seen him all day

"okay," you say, turning on your heel and walking away. you don't even bother saying goodbye, too hurt and annoyed to bother

ushijima's brows furrow in confusion as he watches you walk away. tendou is watching the scene with wide eyes, fighting the urge to snicker

"did i do something wrong?" ushijima questions, staring after your receding figure. tendou finally does let out a snort, quickly slapping his hands over his mouth when ushijima turns to look at him

it is semi who gives ushijima's shoulder a squeeze in reassurance, though his eyes hold slight judgement as he says, "you hurt their feelings because you were being too blunt. you should probably apologise"

ushijima nods and then follows after your figure, his strides lengthening to catch up with you

his hand, warm and large, encloses around your own as he catches up to you, matching your pace

you remain silent, choosing to ignore his presence beside you

the silence settles between you, heavy and unwanted. though his mouth opens to form words, he can't bring himself to say anything. maybe it's his stubbornness, but he can't see how his words may have hurt you when they were the truth

"now who's being clingy?" you mumble angrily, yanking your hand from his grip and increasing your pace. your arms cross over your chest so he can't take your hand again. this increase in pace doesn't bother him and he easily matches it

he is persistent, irritatingly so. when he follows you into your room, you almost snap. instead, you silently fume, collapsing onto your bed and turning away from him. he watches your figure, expression holding slight confusion

"why are you ignoring me?"

you stay silent, stubbornly staring at the wall instead of him. when the mattress dips slightly under his weight, you scoot closer to the wall. his frown deepens

"what did i do wrong?" he questions, and you let out a sigh at how oblivious he is. "i was just being honest..."

your scowl deepens, especially when you feel him rest his hand on your back soothingly, rubbing circles into it. it is ushijima's turn to sigh as he looks at you

"i'm sorry if my words hurt you," he admits, the words causing you to turn slightly to look at him. his expression is as stoic as usual, though his eyes soften when they meet yours

"i just wish you had more of a filter sometimes, toshi," you explain, sitting up and leaning back against the headboard. you hug your knees to your chest, head tilting to look at him. "i know you tend to say what you're thinking but i sometimes wonder if you understand how what you say can effect other people. you called me a child, clingly, annoying. that's hurtful, toshi. you probably didn't mean it like that but you did hurt my feelings. i hadn't seen you all day and, when i hugged you, you told me that?"

"i'm sorry," he says again, a slight frown to his face as he considers your words. his arm wraps around your shoulders, pulling you into his body. "i'll try to think about my words before i say them from now on"

he hugs you tight, and you relax in his hold, savouring the closeness

it's normal for him to send a teasing remark your way, just as it's normal for you to return the favour

however, today, his words hit a little too close to home, targeting an insecurity he wasn't aware of

you were frowning down at the maths sheet in front of you, brows furrowed as you struggled to work out the problems

you never usually felt inferior in terms of academics, but, right now, as you struggled to work out what was relatively simple maths, it started to grate at you

tsukishima wasn't really helping the issue. he seemed oblivious to your stressing, leaning back in his chair as he nodded his head along to the music

his eyes slid over to you, to your figure scribbling away on the paper. he pulled his headphones off, shooting you a teasing grin (though this went unnoticed by you)

his voice, light and teasing, cut through your focus, the words immediately putting you on edge

"if you focus any harder, you're going to be even more stupid than you already are"

your lips pursed but he went on, oblivious to your discomfort

"i can actually see the last bits of your intelligence leaving yout skull." this was punctuated by his finger giving your forehead a poke

you flinched away from him, a scowl lining your features. mumbling under your breath a number of unflattering things, you gathered your work and shoved it into your bag

"where are you going?" he asked, sitting up straighter in his chair, eyes filled with confusion and a bit of concern

you ignored him, pushing open the classroom door, deciding to head to the library to get away from him

for the rest of the day, tsukishima's attempts to speak to you were met with stony silence

so, naturally, he got annoyed, pissed off, and decide to ignore you to

it got to the point where both of you were simply staring through the other as if they weren't there when in a group situation, which was awkward for everyone involved

it was kageyama who told you to get your shit together, while hinata and yamaguchi could only agree

"i will when he apologises for being a dick," you said to kageyama, while tsukishima's eyes narrowed into a glare

"what the fuck," he snapped. "you've been giving me the cold shoulder all day and it's somehow my fault? bullshit"

you spun to face him, arms crossing over your chest. you spat, "you called me stupid when i was stressing over my math work. was i supposed to say thanks? fine. thank you, kei, that was really fucking helpful"

"what?" he blinked, looking at you im confusion. yes, he had teased you. but, he assumed you would know that he had been joking. if he had thought you were struggling, he would of helped you

as this was happening, your friends had edged away to give you some privacy. this was why tsukishima felt fine in admitting this to you

"if i thought you were struggling, you know i would have helped you." his hand reached out to take your hand, finger stroking your knuckles as his eyes met yours

you let out a frustrated sigh, your resolve crumbling. "i know... sorry for being a bit of a brat about it. i should've just told you that you had hurt me"

"yeah, you should've," he teased, pulling you closer to him. his lips pressed against your forehead in apology for getting annoyed at you in. "but, it's fine"

when you came over that weekend, he was busy gaming, like he usually was

ordinarily, when you walked through the door, he would start to wrap up the game, saying goodbye to who he was in the call with

today, however, was slightly different

he was playing a particularly difficult story game, which he had been struggling to complete all week (his choices, much to his frustration, kept getting the character killed)

therefore, you could understand why he was engrossed enough to only give you a simple greeting, a nod of the head

expecting him to only take an hour at maximum (you were content to just be in his company), you relaxed on the bed and pulled out your phone. two hours later, he had still not said a word to you

you sat up on the bed, moving towards him to drape yourself over the back of his chair, resting your head on his shoulder

"kenma..." you said, drawing out his name slightly, "are you almost finished?"

"urgh, just fuck off," he sighed, shrugging your arms off of him. "can't you see i'm busy?"

"fine," you snapped, stepping away from him and heading towards the bedroom door. you pushed it open and let it slam shut behind him

for a moment, you paused, waiting to see if he would react, maybe realise what he said was wrong. instead, the room remained painfully still

when it became clear he was not coming out to find you, you straightened and walked out of the house

kenma didn't realise you were avoiding him for a couple days until he picked up his phone to see no messages from you

it became clear that you were making every effort to avoid him when you made no effort to see him in person

he got so confused as to why you were clearly distancing yourself from him that he went to kuroo

it was after talking with his friend that he realised he had been insensitive and rude

however, you were hard to get alone, using every excuse avaliable to you to get out of spending time with your boyfriend

the whole thing was frustrating, to say the least. he missed you (though don't expect him to openly admit it)

it took him saying 'i'm sorry' rather loudly in a public area for you to turn to face him

your pause gave him the chance to grab your hand, to keep you anchored to him in case you left again

"sorry, are you?" you asked, head cocked slightly. "not a nice feeling, being ignored, is it?"

you would admit you were being a bit bratty, but, to be fair, he deserved

naturally, kenma didn't bother to reply, but it was fine, the gentle way he squeezed your fingers and the quick kiss he brushed to the side of your head more than enough to convey his apology

[whitexwingedxdoves]

the other side  |  part 1   [request]

Pairing: Negan x Reader Pronouns: She/Her Warnings: Language, Death, Unrequited Love Summary: After being saved, you devoted your time to becoming the best saviour you could be until Eugene lets you in on a secret. A/N: Requested by @jinxeee​ im excited about the next couple of parts. ITS A FUN ONE I PROMISE. - I hope you like it <3  Click to read the next chapter

Covered in a thick paste made up of blood and mud you laid against a stone, staring up into the clouds. Surrounding you were piles of the fallen dead, some newly executed, some days old. You couldn’t remember how many days you had been there, fighting for your life but it had been long enough for the hunger to start eating away at you and the thirst to turn your throat into sand.

“Holy shit!” a voice echoed through the empty field and left you feeling even more vulnerable, which you had once thought was impossible. Using every bit of energy you had, you pushed yourself into a sitting position looking for the source. Your eyes met with a rather tall man, wearing a leather jacket and what seemed to be a bat hung from his shoulder. Behind the man were two others, though they didn’t quite hold the same confidence that the man in front did. You watched as he approached you, kicking a few of the dead out of his way, he levelled with you now crouching in front of you using the bat as some sort of crutch. “You’re one badass bitch” a smirk creased his features as he stared at you, you were too dazed to fight anymore you accepted your fate with these men as you laid back down on the rock to find peace in the clouds allowing your eyes to flutter shut.

-

Once your eyes opened again you started to panic, not feeling the liberating breeze that you allowed yourself to fall asleep too. You felt much more rested, fitter to fight again. Your eyes darted around the room you now laid in, taking in the medical equipment and the grey concrete walls, you had never seen this place before and though it felt like a miracle that somewhere like this existed in this world you still remained sceptical. You pulled the needles from your hand that connected to a drip bag and pushed yourself out of the bed, taking light quiet steps as you came closer to the door. You grabbed one of the tools from the medical bench, a scalpel, just in case and turned the knob on the door slowly, peering out of the crack you made. It seemed safe enough to leave having not seen or heard anyone in the corridor. 

You stood against the wall in the hallway, the tip of your toes holding you weight. “Hey!” your head snapped behind you as you saw a man run towards you, you held the scalpel close to you, your grip tightening the closer he got. Once he was close enough you jammed the tool into his forearm, sending your knee into his delicates. Your plan was to run but before you could even turn you felt arms wrap around you, holding you in place. Thrashing as much as you could to be released from their grip only caused them to hold you tighter.

“Well fuck!” you recognised the voice that ran through the hallway, it was the voice of the man back at the field. You stopped trying to free yourself when your eyes met with his. “I was right, you ARE a badass!” his laughter filled the silent halls as he stepped over an injured man to come face to face with you. “I like you” he whispered into your ear.

You were escorted back to the medical room by a woman and the man, a doctor who seemed to be waiting for your arrival as you sat back down on the bed. “Who are you?” you whispered as the doctor checked your vitals, not baring to look up at any of them.

“We’re Negan!” the woman spoke, your brow cocked at her words. “We save people… Negan saves people” she finished, your eyes now darted to the man in the leather jacket. You’d never let the way he smirked leave your mind, it was infectious. He seemed to be full of pride as the woman bragged about his work here. Your eyes welling at the sound of it all, she made him sound like such a saint. “He saved you” she added causing the tears to fall down your cheek, his eyes now met yours.

“Thank you” almost choking on your words, you allowed yourself to relax a little more.

After the doctor cleared you to leave, the woman you’d now learned was named Laura took you to your new room, though it was to be shared with her. That night you spent a lot of time thinking about Negan and how incredibly lucky you were that he found you. Your heart seemed to swell when you thought of him and the way his leather jacket fit snug to his body, the stubble on his jawline and the way it highlighted his smirk. You were ready to be one hundred percent devoted to him.

-

It had been a while since Negan saved you and you had spent every second of your time since then trying to prove your loyalty to him. He placed you with Laura for a reason, to teach you about the way things worked and to teach you the ropes on how to be the best saviour you could possibly be and you were, one of the best. You did everything Negan asked you to without even batting an eyelash, you would never deny him anything. Your love for him grew stronger every day, it hurt sometimes that you couldn’t call him yours but at least you could be by his side and protect him.

Today your job was to watch over Dr Eugene, make sure he was getting everything he needed and to keep him safe. You didn’t mind this job so much, Eugene never really spoke too much to you, he only ever told you things that you had no interest in knowing but he was easy to block out most of the time. Today he seemed different, a little off from his usual self, he paced his room and seemed a lot more jumpy. You really didn’t like it, it was like he was up to something he shouldn’t be. “What’s going on smarty pants?” Eugene even jumped at your question causing you to smirk a little. He shook his head and insisted nothing was the matter. “Sure doesn’t seem like nothing! Come on, spill the beans otherwise I’ll have to get Simon in here and he doesn’t play quite as nice as I do” you teased tapping your foot on the floor awaiting his explanation but when he responded with silence you turned on your heel and headed for the door. “Fair enough, SIM-“ the man cut you off mid sentence, clearly scared for his life.

“No… no need.” Turning back around you took a seat on the armchair and gave him a smile. “The wives…” he started, almost second guessing his choice to tell you about what had happened.  

You sat in complete silence as Eugene told you all about the wives plans to kill Negan with some sort of pill and how they made them before fully thinking it through. He held the two tablets in a zip lock bag in front of you, you took them from him with force, your cheeks turning red at the story he just told you couldn’t say you didn’t believe it or that you didn’t see this coming, you saw how his wives acted around him and heard what they would say when he wasn’t there. Ungrateful bitches. You pushed yourself onto your feet and gave the fragile southerner a warning look and he took a couple of steps away from you and out of your reach. “You ever try this shit again, I’ll have your head on a pike.” You whispered in his direction before leaving the room. You shouted to the guards on his door to keep an eye on him and make sure he didn’t leave his room as you stormed towards the wives bedrooms.

Fuelled only by anger you ripped one of the doors open, the zip lock back still in your hold. The girls looked over at you, like deer in headlights noticing the pills in your hand and as the door shut one of the girls took her chance at wrestling you for the poison in your hand. When the others realised what was happening and that she couldn’t fight you on her own, the rest joined in piling on top of you scratching and pulling at your hair, pushing you down to the floor as you tried to scream and fight your way out of them. Without even thinking you pulled out your handgun and started shooting rounds into the women who hovered over you. It felt like a curse being such a good shot as you watched each wife drop, a few falling on top of you. You laid there for a moment, like you did in the field, completely speechless, your body now covered in their blood. You heard the door swing open but you didn’t dare look to see who it was. You just laid there, allowing the blood to soak into your clothes.

You recognised the next set of footsteps that came through the door, you knew for a fact it was Negan. Swallowing the lump in your throat you pushed the girls off you and sat up right, your eyes following Negan as he made his way across the room. Your eyes filling with tears as he witnessed the massacre. “I'm sorry” you croaked but you didn’t seem to grab his attention as he looked down at his fallen wives in pure disbelief. “I had no choice” the guilt had crept up now, strangling you with every breath you took. That’s when he looked at you, a look you could never forget. He looked so confused yet angry at the same time as he took in the sight of you, bathed in his late wife's blood, he didn’t talk, he just looked in the direction of the door before turning his back to you.

“Put her away” he spoke softly, not allowing his emotions to better his judgement. You shook your head as you stood up to your feet, attempting to avoid the other saviours.

“No, you don’t understand. Please let me explain! They were trying to kill you, they had pills. You have to believe me.” you cried but it was no use.

-

You had been in the small box room for a while now, still covered in blood, you sat in the corner of the dark room, holding onto your knees as tightly as you could replaying the last couple of years in your head. You never felt so much shame before after everything he did for you, you go and kill his wives. Why you didn’t tell him before you went in there all Rambo you’ll never understand. The anger got too much for you to process. The sound of the door unlocking broke your concentration. You looked up hoping and praying they would let you out now. The light stung your eyes a little, causing your arm to act as a barricade as they adjusted to the new light. “We didn’t find any pills” the voice that once made you melt like butter now only causes you tears, you looked at the man in disbelief, though all you could see was his silhouette.

“No, no… you have to look again. Ask Eugene, he made them. Please Negan you have to believe me” you pleaded as he leant down to your eye level… similar to the way he did when he first found you.

“He doesn’t know what you’re talking about” his tone was soft which only made you more anxious. You shook your head vigorously, why would Eugene lie like that

“No, please. I would never lie to you, Negan. Please.” Your tears seemed to clean your bloody face as you reached forward to place your hands on his but he pulled away. “Please, I love you. I would never try to hurt you like this” you almost skipped passing, admitting your feelings for the man as you sat there pleading but the butterflies swam in your stomach as you heard his breathing getting heavier.

“So you did all this… all this because your a jealous fuck?” he screamed at you, you could hear the sound of your heart breaking. “You’re pathetic.” He finished before turning on his heels and shut the door behind him. You heard the lock on the door turn once more but you bolted towards it anyway, slamming your fists into the door attempting to speak under your cries but to no avail. You sat back in your corner, attempting to catch just one breath but you couldn’t… all you could do was rock back and forth… hoping one day he would see sense and free you from this cage.

[stvrs13]

" I love her but she hates me "

summary: Ellie and y/n have been enemies for 2 years but they secretly have feelings for each other.

warnings: a lil smut maybe nothing to serious ( help-) , swearing

a/n: alright this is my first smut and im new to writing so no judgements! 🙌

You were walking on the snow when you saw a beanie, you picked it, realizing it belongs to the one and only ellie, your ex bestfriend, your enemy, and of course the one you have secretly have feelings for.. you sigh, debating whether or not to give it back to her but it all answers when you walk towards the corner of the street on her direction, you waved awkwardly. " hey ellie, uh i found this on the snow. " you said nervously. she glanced at dina and back to you with a serious look on her face. " what a joke " she said while getting her beanie off of your hands with a super human speed. she then walk away and dina follows her, leaving you standing on your position. mental facepalm! this was a bad idea, you thought to yourself.

You walked towards your best friend who was sitting on a bench playing with her fingers, Nancy, you sat beside her. " what happened? did she said something to you again? " she said. " uh its not biggy just found her beanie that's all. " you said, slightly frowning. Nancy notices it and asked, " hey you good there? " " actually can we talk about something? somewhere private? " you said, making an eye contact with your fav person (oh really? 😉) across you, there stood Ellie so close to Dina. You immediately lost it and walk away with your bestfriend following you.

You went at the back of a coffee shop and you both sat on the snow under a tree, looking at the dark skies, " so what's up? " she said. You started crying, tears fell free on your cheeks. " oh my gosh, are you okay? " she asked, worried. " its just that- " you hid your face on your knees, " i can't deny it, its always been her, its always. " you whisper the last part. " what do you mean? " nancy asked. " i love her nancy, i do and i just dont wanna do it anymore, i tried letting her go but fuck i cant, i cant stop thinking about her! every time i see her, i felt anger and hurt but also butterflies over my stomach, fuck this. why in the world im the only person inlove with my enemy! i hate this, but i just gotta accept the truth that she hates me, i love her but she hates me. " you said with a shaky voice. Nancy just rub your back, making you feel comfortable, she has nothing to say. to surprise to say something.

" holy fuck " ellie whispered under her breath, she was hiding behind the wall. joy filling her heart.

- 2 years ago -

" cat! look at this. " you said while standing outside the balcony. cat went into your direction. " woah " cat said with a wide eyes. you both saw a beautiful view of the mountains. " its pretty " " i know rig- " just before you could finish your sentence

a stalker came out of the other door and push you to the railings. you stabbed it with your pocket knife but its still alive, it keeps pushing you harder on the railing, " cat help me! " you yell. cat tried to stab it with her switchblade but before she could stab it, the stalker push you down, you hold onto cat but you three fall off the balcony. " shit!! " you yell. you land on your back while cat land on her elbow. the stalker was above you, you stab it again and again until you heard a gunshot, the bullet hit on the stalker's head. it falls on your side, leaving you breathless. you looked at cat who's trying hard to stand and you looked at the person who shot the stalker's head, its ellie. you quickly got up and help cat up. as she stands up, she wince. " my elbow broke " she winced again. ellie walks towards the both of you and says, " what the fuck y/n?! " she practically yells at you. you stood there, nothing to say until you felt a fist on your face. Ellie punched you. you were in shocked but you ran away and ride on your horse. " fuck you!! " ellie yells. Ellie and Cat followed you, ellie is mad at you right now even though cat telling her its not your fault. As you arrived at jackson, you wiped away the tears and the blood dripping on your nose. You dismounted your horse and take it back to the stables. You pet your horse awhile and as you turn around, you were slammed on the ground.

" motherfucker! why did you pull her with you?! " ellie yells. " its not her fault ellie. " cat says. " i- im sorry i didn't mean to- " " bullshit " ellie was about to punch you again when maria and joel stop her. tommy helps you up, blood dripping your nose and a black eye. great. tears falling down from your eyes as ellie look at you with anger in her green eyes. maria, cat and ellie went into maria and tommy's office to talk. while joel and tommy helps you clean your face. once you were done, you three went to maria, joel and tommy left the room and now its all four of you confronting. ellie,cat,maria, and you. you felt hurt, and sad. You talked about what happened and of course ellie sometimes yells at you and maria had to stop her. as the talk went cleared. Ellie can't stop staring at you, your nervous. she has a blank face when she stares at you, Ellie wanted to talk to you, apologizing for being a dick but she's stubborn but also afraid of you rejecting her. So she just did nothing and hid on her corner. She also felt a hole in her heart for you make her feel someting more than friends even though she had a girlfriend. And that, you two never talk, hangout and even maria doesn't let you both go on patrol together so you both were hiding on your corners.

- end of flashback -

" are you sure ellie? i dont think she wo- " ellie cuts maria off by saying, " i dont care maria, just tell her we're paired for patrol. " she demands. maria just sighs in defeat as she nods. Ellie then prepares herself for patrol and something 😉

- afternoon -

" hey maria, you need me to go on patrol? " you asked. " yes and actually you'll be paired with ellie. " she hesitantly said that. You looked behind maria to see ellie leaning against the wall staring at you. " but- " " no buts, you both will go to the mountain over there. " she point out the small mountain. you sighed, why us? you thought to yourself. Maria then nods at ellie and said " keep safe " to the both of you. When she disappears, you look at ellie who is staring at you, you brought out a shy smile. she just nods then walk towards shimmer (ellie's horse) as you do the same. You both got up on your horses and went out from jackson. the entire time was quiet, it disturbs you, its so uncomfortable, its weird, you wanna get back to jackson- you were cut off of your thoughts by ellie saying " check in is inside that cabin. " you looked at her with a kind smile. she blushes, she what?! maybe just the cold wind making her face a little red. You both stay in silent until you reach a small cabin. You got off from your horse while ellie ties shimmer in a tree, you did what she did. She opens the small cabin and it reveals a cozy living room, you took both of your jackets into the couch and you look around admiring the living room while ellie was busy going somewhere inside the cabin. She saw 2 bedrooms in the hallway, she open the other one and it reveal a queen size bed, she smirked. " y/n.. come here " she growls. you walk towards the hallway, fear rising in you. what does she have to do now? you thought. you saw ellie standing on the door of a bedroom with her hand gripping the doorknob, you went inside and admire the beautiful bedroom until you heard the door slam shut. before you could even look at the door, ellie push you through the wall. gripping her hands on your waist tightly. she look into your e/c (eye color) and quickly looks at your lips, asking for permission. you slowly nod, at first you thought she was gonna kill you but oh boy your dreams are coming true. she smashed her lips onto yours, slipping her tounge on your lips, you moaned. it only fuel things up when ellie removed her upper buttons on her flannel, revealing her chest. it was a sloppy kiss, she practically throw you in the bed and got on top of you, she then kiss and suck your neck, leaving love bites, you moaned, feeling your clit throbbed under your jeans and ellie sucking your neck, gosh this is ethereal. " ellie.." she looks at you, her lips still on your neck " we cant do this. " you frowned. she stop and sits on her heels while you sat and leaned in the headboard. she looked at you, tears on your eyes, she sighs. " im sorry " you said weakly. " we shouldn't be doing this " your tears falling now on your cheeks. she put her hand on yours, you look at her, you got surprise when her eyes were filled with tears and sadness. " look y/n, i've heard what you said to nancy earlier and i can't deny that i felt the same way on you. " she paused. " but you hate me? " " actually no, this entire fucking years made me felt nothing but regret and guilt. i can't stop thinking about you, it drives me fucking crazy. " she said. you looked into her eyes again, fear and guilt shown in her gorgeous eyes. you can't believe it, ellie feels the same way. you smiled at her and said, " i love you ellie " realizing to what you said, " i love you too y/n, a lot. " she said with a wide smile on her face. " wanna finish what we've started earlier? " she smirked. you laughed and laid back while she got on top of you again, savouring every moment.

a/n: jeez that's idk anyway, sorry for not posting sooner, i've been a little busy on school and sometimes my lazy ass gets me. hope you enjoy this story! dont forget to like and reblogged for motivation 😹

@akami-senpai, @ellieswife, @gayerforelliewilliams 🌈✨

[jae-daddy]

Blind

jaebum!dickhead 

masterlist

pairing: jaebum x reader genre: angst plot: you overhear your boyfriend Jaebum and his friends talking rudely about you.  a/n: this was written a long time ago lol. I thought I’d post it instead of deleting it. not edited. hope y’all like it

“Dude, I can’t believe she followed you here,” you heard Yugyeom, as you neared the pool table the boys were surrounding.

Your eyes easily found Jaebum, as he leaned forward to take a shot. His black leather jacket stretching over his broad shoulders, his hair styled in a perfectly messy way. Even with his back towards you, you still felt butterflies flutter in your tummy as you thought of the way he looked tonight.

You thought back to the car ride. His hand on your thigh, inching higher until it slipped under your short skirt. He loved it when you wore short skirts and tight tops. It drove him crazy, he could never keep his hands off you. 

Just as he had struggled to keep himself from parking his car at some random place and fuck you before you reached the party. You remember his throaty growl as he ripped his hand away from tracing your panty and to the steering wheel. 

His jaw tight as his clenched the wheel, his knuckles turning white. 

“I won’t be able to stop if I start baby,” he looked over at you, his eyes dark and filled with promise. You wanted him to do it, you didn’t care about this party. 

But Jaebum did. 

It was his friend’s party, and as a part of the popular kids troupe, he needed to show up. 

“She didn’t follow him, she just misunderstood,” Youngjae clarified, his voice teasing. “Right, Jaebum?”

You stopped in your tracks, feeling your stomach drop.

“You really need to learn to draw boundaries with her bro,” Jackson told Jaebum as he missed a shot. You saw Jaebum grimace at the missed shot, before looking up to meet Jackson’s eyes. When he didn’t say anything, Jackson sighed, “She can’t keep following you-”

“Y/n is not following me,” Jaebum cut him off. You let go of the breath you were holding in, the tight line your lips were drawn into relaxed slightly.

“Was she invited?” Nate asked, shooting Jaebum a knowing smirk.

“No,” Jaebum sighed.

“Did you invite her?”

“Well, no.”

You felt like you were about to vomit. 

“Y/n is always clinging to your side,” Nick told him, before taking a sip of his beer. “You are never free to do anything. You are always with her, it’s like y’all are in a relationship.

“If you were hitting that, then I’d support you, bro,” Yugyeom mumbled, shrugging.

“Yeah right,” Nate snorted. “like anyone would hit that.”

You watched Jaebum, waiting for him to say something, but he didn’t. He just stared at Nate, with a grimace barely noticable.

“Dude, be honest,” Nate smiled at Jaebum, “would you hit that?”

When Jaebum didn’t reply, Nate’s smile grew bigger, “Has she tried hooking up with you?”

You felt sick.

Your mind instantly went to that night when you had kissed Jaebum. The night that had started it all. You were at a party just like this, and somehow you both ended up in the same bedroom hiding away. 

You were waiting for your friend to finish hooking up and were tired to creeps so you hid the room. Jaebum stumbled in a few minutes later. 

You were scared at first, thinking it was a drunk boy. You were terrified because the music was so loud you weren’t sure if anyone would be able to hear you if you had screamed for help.

But your panic turned into interest as you saw the staggering figure straighten as they closed the door. You watched Jaebum fall onto the bed and let out an exhausted sigh. You saw him pull out his phone, dialling someone as he pinched his nose, “Hello, 911?” 

Jaebum wouldn’t let you out of his sight after he spotted you. You knew too much. You had the power to ruin his popularity. So you ended up spending the whole night with Jaebum, talking about random things. 

By the end of the night, you realised there was more to him then the superficial bad boy act he puts up. You couldn’t help yourself but kiss him before you had to leave. 

it felt like a final goodbye. You knew that after that night ended, you would never get the chance again. So you took the chance, you kissed him. 

And, he kissed you back. 

He had pulled you in, bringing you to his lap. He had stopped you two before things got too heated. And then, he snuck into your bedroom for more late night conversations. 

Jaebum had asked you to be his girlfriend a month ago. A month had passed and no one knew that you and Jaebum were together. People thought it was a unlikely pair, but it was friendship at most. 

“No way!” Yugyeom gasped, “For real? What happened?”

Jaebum just shook his head. You could see the smug smile on his face, and it hurt your heart.

Just an hour ago, he was holding back from railing you in the backseat of his car. 

You snapped out of your thoughts as you watched Jaebum move around the table. You watched his face as he spoke. 

“I told her I was coming here tonight, and she kind of just tagged along,” Jaebum sighed, ignoring the comments. He scratched the back of his head nervously, as he studied the guys staring at him. The other boys looked at him with knowing looks as they shook their heads. “I know I should’ve clarified, but I feel bad for her.”

You were actually going to be sick. You dug your nails into your palms, biting your lip tightly to stop yourself from crying in the middle of the party. You knew you should walk away, but you wanted to hear it. Even as it hurt your heart.

Even if it felt like Jaebum sunk his claws into your chest and wrenched your heart out. You wanted to hear what your boyfriend had to say about you.

There was Im Jaebum, your boy friend, standing in a group with his friends, talking about how he felt bad for you.

You felt your heart sink, and your stomach churn, as you heard him continue.

“She's been through a lot. None of her friends talk to her anymore, I can’t just tell her to buzz off,” Jaebum explained, his voice coated with desperation wanting his friends to understand, to agree with his justification. “And it’s not too bad. She’s here doing her thing, and I’m doing mine.”

“Bro,” Yugyeom gave him a dry look, snorting at Jaebum, “how can you be doing your thing when you can’t even hook up with other girls because you have to take her home?”

“I don’t need to-”

“Sara is here,” Youngjae smirked at Jaebum. You saw Jaebum freeze at her name. He had said her name a few times to you before, “She asked about you.”

“Bro!” Yugyeom gaped at Jaebum who still hadn’t found it in himself to start moving again. “Sara!”

Finally, Jaebum leaned against the table. His hands grabbing the edge, as his shoulders fell with his head as he sighed, “Fuck.”

“You could be hooking up with Sara but you’re stuck babysitting,” Youngjae laughed.

“Hey, but she looked kind of all right tonight,” Nate shrugged. “That little crop top of hers really shows those,” he held up his hands in front of him gesturing to your boobs. “I mean, I would pity fuck that. Give her the gift of knowing a good time.”

Your feet began moving backwards as you started moving away from the group. You couldn’t hear anymore. You can’t stand there and watch as your boyfriend acted like you didn’t matter to him. You can’t stand there, listen and pretend that what they said didn’t hurt you, that it didn’t hurt you that Im Jaebum might have never loved you at all. 

You bumped into someone, and you turned around apologising.

You didn’t want to hear what else they had to say. You didn’t want to see how else Jaebum would let them talk about you. You didn’t want to find out how Jaebum thought of you.

“Shit, sorry,” you whispered, your voice shaking. You lifted your gaze to find soft brown ones looking at you with sympathy. His hands gently rested on your shoulders as he steadied your stumbling feet.

“It’s okay,” Mark said, softly. He was part of their group. If he wasn’t behind you, he would probably be standing next to Jackson, laughing along with them. You didn’t want his sympathy. 

You didn’t want anything from him. 

Your eyes began burning as his eyes drifted behind to the group of boys laughing, before settling back on you.

“Are you okay?” Mark asked. You brushed his hands off your shoulders and took a step back.

You didn’t meet his eyes as you nodded, unable to speak.

You walked around him, and headed straight for the door. You didn't look back at Jaebum or stop until you were outside the house. 

Even then, you kept walking down the street, your feet picking up speed as you tried running away from the loud noises in your head.

You felt sick, you felt tired.

Your heart broke into a tiny million pieces as their words kept replying in your mind. But that’s not what broke you.

The thing that hurt you the most was Jaebum. He didn’t do anything, he didn’t say anything. He just let them, he laughed with them, he agreed with them.

You stopped when your lungs started to burn, and you couldn't go any further. 

You called for an Uber and waited on the side of the road. You stared at your phone, waiting for Jaebum to notice you were missing. 

You wanted him to text you, to call you. You wanted him worry about you, to show any proof that he did like you back. Even a silver of how much you loved him, you wanted even the slightest of his love back. 

It was all you needed to help you stay together and not fall apart. 

You stared at the screen as the Uber pulled up. You stared at it all through the ride. You didn’t look up as you thanked the driver. 

You locked the door as you entered your house. You stared at the phone, biting your lips. 

You shouldn’t send him anything. He hadn’t even noticed. 

But then, against your better judgement, you decided to send it, ‘I’m home.’

You changed and got into your bed, covering yourself with your blankets. 

You didn’t shower. You were too tired to shower. You were too tired to do anything. You were too tired to even close your eyes and pretend to go to sleep. 

You knew sleep wasn’t going to come easily tonight. Not when you kept on thinking about the smile on Jaebum’s face as he listened to his friends talk about you. Not when you remembered the way his shoulders and head slummed with defeat when he found out Sara had asked about him. 

There was no way sleep was coming easy to you when all you wanted to do was cry.

You didn’t cry though.

You tried not to cry, you tried to hold back the tears, at first. But then, you couldn’t stop them. The tears silently rolled down your face, as you lay on your side.

You felt the pillow get wet, but you ignored it as you blankly stared at the wall instead. Your hands desperately clenched the blanket, as you tried to calm yourself down, before you began uncontrollably sobbing. 

Jaebum’s reply came a few minutes later. ‘What?’

‘Are you alright?’

‘Are you sleeping?’

‘Should I come over?’

After five minutes, your phone rang.

You saw Jaebum’s name on the phone. 

Your chest ached seeing his name on the phone. You wanted to pick it up. 

But, you ignored it and turned the phone over as you slipped it under your pillow.

It rang again, and again. Three more times, before you picked it up.

“What the fuck?!” He gnarled into the phone, you could hear the wind rushing past him. It sounded like he was speeding somewhere. 

You didn’t say anything, just waited for him to continue.

“Are you okay? Why did you leave early?”

“I’m okay,” you rasped, your voice hurting your throat. “I don’t feel well. I’m going to sleep.”

“You sound horrible,” Jaebum replied softly, the panic in his voice subsiding. The softness in his voice made new tears escape down your face. You moved away from the phone and wiped your tears.“Do you want me to come over, babe?”

You hated it. 

You hated how your heart trembled when he called your baby. 

“No,” you rasped, your lower lip trembling as you held back a sob, “I just need to be alone.”

You sniffled your nose as you swallowed, your vision blurring.

Jaebum remained quiet for a moment, the wind rushing past slowing down now, “Okay, take care. Call me tomorrow, okay, babe?”

“Goodbye, Jaebum,” was all you said before ending the call.

You didn't hold it back anymore.

Your body curled into a ball, as it began shaking furiously as sobs raked through you.

Your hand clasped over your mouth as you sobbed into the dark night.

Your heart, broken and bleeding by the one boy you had trusted.

[tarklesbehindthescenes]

If you've got the time and inclination, I've got another MegaRatch request for you, maybe related to the one from before. Megan does something really dumb on the battlefield and gets hurt and due to some contrivance, Ratchet begrudgingly patches him up.

It is DONE!! It took me sooo long to figure out what direction I wanted to take it, but it is done!

MegaRatch 2: Electric Boogaloo

Word count capped at 2,172

-

Ratchet squinted up at the grey warlord belting out hearty, maniacal laughter. The smug spawn of a glitch was at it again. Another absurd plan was being put in motion that would allow the Decepticons to gather energy at the expense of the planet and its inhabitants’ safety. And as always, he was gloating about it while the Autobots fought against his forces to put a stop to it. As the fight progressed, it was becoming increasingly apparent that it was only a matter of time before Optimus Prime got to him and wrecked his creation.

Megatron began fiddling with the controls which caused a violent crackling of electricity to erupt from it, frightening his in-commands and making the rest of his army pause to look over, the Autobots they were fighting doing like-wise.

“Actions: inadvisable! Requesting Megatron desist!” Soundwave called out to him desperately.

“Do you wish to blow us all to kingdom come?!” Starscream shrieked, scrambling back with panic. “It’s too soon, you’ll—”

“I do not need it to finish in order to gain the power necessary to defeat the Autobots!” Megatron roared over the crackling electricity as he placed his hands on a couple orbs. Electrical currents began flowing from the machine into Megatron. “I will not let this victory escape us!”

“I’m not staying! Decepticons, flee!” Starscream took off in a hurry, the seekers following his example and taking to the air hot on his thrusters. Soundwave turned to the remaining forces as they looked like they were seriously considering doing the same.

“Wait! Hold positions!” he commanded. His words fell on faulty audio receptors, however. Astrotrain and Reflector booked it and that was the end of that. The other Decepticons bailed, leaving Megatron and Soundwave alone with the Autobots.

“Cowards!” Megatron bellowed after them, removing his hands from the machine, energy crackling around them. “You will all suffer the consequences of deserting the battlefield!”

“Prime, I think that’s our cue to go!” Wheeljack called.

Optimus Prime took a small step backward but kept his gaze locked on the warmonger. “Everyone, get back! We don’t know what he can do!”

Megatron raised his arms above his head, focusing the electrical energy in his hands and narrowing his optics as the Autobots began to pull back. ��It’s too late to run, Prime! Your doom is nigh at hand!”

Ratchet eyed the electricity coursing through Megatron’s hands. That was big talk coming from someone wielding such unstable energy. If he could just distract him for long enough... “Megatron!” the medic barked out.

The warmonger’s optics snapped to him then a smirk curled up on his lips. “Ratchet,” he mused. “It would be such a shame to lay waste to such medical skills like yours. I will give you a choice. Join me or perish with your team!”

“Do you realize just how absurd this plan is?” Ratchet evaded. Megatron took the bait and went into a mini-monologue. “What is absurd about it? With you Autobots offline, there will be nothing standing in the way of total domination of this planet so I can bleed it dry!” He ended with a laugh. Behind him, Soundwave noticed the energy growing more and more unstable in his commander’s hands and began backing up. Once Megatron was done having a laugh, he narrowed his optics at the medic. “Now choose!”

“Ratchet—” Optimus started, stopping himself when Ratchet motioned for him to back off and reluctantly doing as directed.

“Give me a moment to think!” he snapped at the warlord.

“Now!” Megatron demanded, the crackling of energy nearly drowning him out.

“Fine, fine!” Ratchet threw a quick glance at Soundwave. The communications officer was reluctantly running for cover. “I choose…” The medibot swiftly turned on his heel and booked it with the rest of his team.

Behind them, the warmonger snarled. “You have chosen most unwisely! Taste the consequences of your—”

The rest of the threat was cut off as there was the loud sound of electricity discharging and screams of pain followed shortly after. It was so darn bright in the area for a few minutes that it was nigh impossible to see clearly until the light settled down to normal levels. The group of Autobots mumbled to each other and looked around.

“Is everyone all right?” Prime checked, giving each mech a glance over. “Ratchet?”

The medibot waved a dismissive hand. “I’m okay.”

“That was some quick thinking back there,” the leader praised.

Ironhide fixed the ambulance with a confuddled expression. “Just why was that bucket o’ bolts tellin’ ya to join ‘im?”

To which, Ratchet responded with an exasperated huff. “Because he’s a fan of my work? Drop it.”

Sunstreaker looked to where they had come from. Megatron could be seen on the ground, a small cloud of smoke rising from him. “He charred himself but good, it seems.” The Lambo twin screwed up his face with mild disgust. “Phew, you can smell it!”

“I think it’s safe to say he won’t be getting up for a while or finishing that scheme of his,” Optimus agreed, gesturing to the machine behind the downed Decepticon commander. “That electrical outburst fried his creation. Autobots, let’s roll for home.”

The Autobots took the command and promptly transformed to begin following Prime back home. Ratchet transformed, but paused as he caught sight of Soundwave checking up on Megatron through his rearview mirrors.

“Hey, doc. You coming?” Trailbreaker said, cutting through his thoughts.

“I just remembered I’ve got some business to take care of,” Ratchet replied. “You go on ahead. I’ll be back when I’m done.”

If Trailbreaker could shrug in vehicle mode, Ratchet was sure he would have during the pause before the dark-colored car left. Once he was out of sight, the medibot returned to robot mode and approached Soundwave and the unconscious Megatron. It was almost a struggle to move forward. A big part of him screamed to just leave with the others and let Megatron and the other Decepticons deal with the consequences themselves. But the part of him that made him take up his profession as a medibot scolded that part of him and was forcing him forward.

Soundwave took notice of him and pointed his blaster at him when Ratchet drew close.

Ratchet fixed him with a stern look. “Put that peashooter away! I’m a medic, not a warrior.” Without waiting for Soundwave’s next move, he knelt down beside Megatron and looked him over. The smoke was coming from Megatron’s mouth and seeping out of cracks in his plating. Ratchet shook his head. “He should’ve listened to you.”

The third-in-command hesitated before putting his weapon away. “Vitals indicate he is still online,” he reported.

“No doubt a good chunk of his hardware is fried, though,” Ratchet grunted. His examination of the Decepticon commander led him to find that Megatron’s state, while not ideal, was stable enough that he didn’t need a patch. “Can you carry him?”

“Affirmative.”

“Good. He needs to be brought back to your ship so we can actually tend to him.” The sound of flight frames approaching made them pause and look up. Blitzwing and Astrotrain had returned and touched down just beside them. “And look. Here’s our ride.”

The two triple changers frowned, Blitzwing with confusion and Astrotrain with disdain.

“Your ride, Autobot? We only came to check up on Megatron and see the results.” Astrotrain eyed Megatron with judgement. “Looks to me like he’s ultimately failed.”

Soundwave picked up the commander and glowered at the shuttle train behind his visor. “Transform. NOW,” he commanded.

Astrotrain looked to Blitzwing.

His friend cocked an optic ridge at him. “What are you looking at me for? Soundwave’s our superior. And you don’t want to mess with Ratchet, trust me.” Blitzwing reminded, making the shuttle train sigh heavily before doing as told and transforming into shuttle mode.

Soundwave entered him with Ratchet close behind and settled down, then they were off. The ride was short thanks to Astrotrain’s size and speed. When they arrived in the hangar, they found the seekers gathered with a few of the other Decepticons, recounting the events that went down. Starscream was, of course, blowing things out of proportion.

“—drove him to such rash actions! He turned himself into a living bomb just to get the advantage over the Autobots! I tried to warn him against it, but he was so livid, he just could not be reasoned with!”

…Actually, that was fairly accurate.

“Kind of you to come back to base instead of check up on him,” Ratchet called out, making the second-in-command and those gathered around turn to him and Soundwave.

Starscream didn’t have the decency to look remotely abashed. “Somebody had to relay the events. Besides, Soundwave—” The seeker paused and squinted. “Now wait just one moment here! What the frag are you doing in our base?!”

“Ratchet will be lending his aid toward Megatron’s recovery.” Soundwave gave Starscream a challenging look, daring him to intervene.

The air commander didn’t, but he certainly didn’t approve. He shot Megatron a loathing and disappointed look. “You mean to tell me he’s still alive?”

“Don’t sound so thrilled, Starscream,” Ratchet commented. “We’ll get the wrong idea about you.”

Starscream scoffed and shrugged. “Naturally, I am enthused about this turn of events. How lucky we are to be bequeathed with such a miracle.”

Several bots in the room rolled their optics, including Ratchet. “Alright, alright,” the medibot grunted, “that’s enough back and forth. Someone tell Hook to get his aft to the medbay if he isn’t there already. This is going to be a repair all three of us will be needed for, Soundwave.”

“Understood.”

[Perspective Change]

Megatron’s vision was dark for a moment, save for the flashing word ‘rebooting’. He felt stiff and a little cold. What had happened to land him like this? He had the Autobots on the run, and then… the energy in his hands exploded. His team of Decepticons had left him. Was he still on the ground where the battle had taken place? …No, this didn’t feel like it.

His systems finished rebooting, now granting him sight and audio. The medbay ceiling greeted his optics and the sound of bots working and talking out of sight came to his audio receptors.

“—impressive, honestly. The amount of burns on his motherboard and these hydraulics. Yet the electrical damage jumped over the main power nodes on the board, which is what kept him stable.”

Megatron squinted. That voice… “Ratchet?” he murmured.

There was the sound of movement and then there he was, looking down on him. “Look who’s finally up. You know, you really should listen to your in-commands next time,” the medibot chided. “They’re usually there to keep you from doing stupid things.”

Megatron disregarded the chastisement. “What are you… You’re… here…” he mumbled with utmost confusion.

Ratchet folded his arms. “Against my better judgement.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m a medic and…” He hesitated. “I decide who my patients are. Leaving you the way you were just felt… wrong. I don’t understand it fully, myself, so just take it and be grateful I even took the time out of my day to work on your sorry aft.”

The Decepticon commander struggled for a moment to process this. The Autobot chief medic actually helped him of his own volition? Was he expecting anything? He must’ve been. “I am not going to stop attacking your friends,” he stated gruffly.

To which Ratchet rolled his optics at him. “Did I say anything about them?”

“No, but surely you’re not doing this favor for free.”

“And why shouldn’t I be?”

“It makes no sense!” Megatron sat up to better lock optics with him. “Nobody does something unless commanded or bribed!”

Ratchet shook his head. “You’ve got a skewed perspective of reality. All I want is to be dropped back off on the surface so I can go back to the Ark. You seem to be perfectly fine now and don’t need me.”

“Wait just one moment,” Megatron said, looking over to where Ratchet came from, to where Soundwave and Hook stood patiently. “Leave us.” Hook left without a second thought, while Soundwave hesitated before slowly taking his leave. Once the medbay was clear of everyone but himself and Ratchet, the commander spoke up again. “Stay a while longer,” he bade with an unusually quiet tone. This medibot was a puzzle. An enigma. Megatron wasn’t about to just let this go without getting as much facts as he could.

The Autobot fixed him with a squint. “What for?”

“Just to talk.”

“…That’s it?”

“That’s all. I have questions that need addressing,” the warlord clarified.

There was a pause, and then the medic sighed and dropped his arms to his sides. “I suppose it couldn’t hurt. Just long enough to be certain you’re on the road to recovery.”

This time Megatron would settle his curiosity about the Autobot ambulance once and for all. This time for sure the intrigue would be satisfied.