#Me now that I'm productive: can someone come kill me so I stop writing. Everything hurts emotionally and I am physically fatigued | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

royalberryriku · 10 months ago

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Some Thoughts on the 'Writing Process'™

So I see a lot of writers struggle with these very specific things, AKA:

The Staring at the Blank Page Thing where you struggle to come up with ideas, words, etc

The Word Counting Counting where you cannot stop counting your word count

The 'Can Someone ELSE Proofread This Because I Don't Want to Read It' dilemma

The 'How Do I STOP Hating Everything I Write' issue which also leads into the 'How Do I Stop Scrapping Everything' issue

And finally the 'I DONT WANT TO WRITE I WANT TO IMAGINE IT INSTEAD' problem

There are various things that can make writing hard, but I have had some thoughts! And maybe they might just be useful.

So for Issue Number 1, I've found that, if you want to write, NEVER do it before you already have the ideas. Looking at a blank page just makes it harder. You get bored and that makes writing feel boring. Of course, this is all just my opinion, maybe this actually works for you. BUT! In my own personal experience, I find that actually LIMITING how often I open my document helps a bunch. No matter how much you wanna write, there's no point torturing yourself over how little you're doing and shaming or pressuring yourself to get it done. Punishing yourself is just gonna kill your inspiration and, obviously, you're not going to want to write if you now associate it with punishment for not writing. It's a cycle of just being mean to yourself. Well, don't wanna be unproductive? As silly and counterproductive as it sounds; self care is the answer which I've found that actually works.

This actually leads into Issue Number 2. I think these probably stem from the same issue; punishing yourself for not producing. Again, punishing yourself and shaming yourself into just staring at a blank screen or staring at how little the word count is or how much you have to go until your goal is just going to kill your inspiration and make you bored. Shaming doesn't get you to write more, or faster or suddenly become more productive. Believe it or not? Self care and making it fun is what makes a fun story come to life. You're not just writing a block of text that's a recount to sell in this capitalist hellhole (I mean you are but that doesn't mean the process has to be bound by capitalism because FUCK CAPITALISM), you're writing a story you wanna tell; focus on the story before the method and don't punish yourself for it not just magically appearing. These things take time, they take trial, error, mistakes and various drafts, but FIRST? They take those little moments where you just daydream scenes and the imagination you have to exist at all. Focus first on the story and your own health and the rest will come, slowly but surely. Anyway that was a lot of words to essentially just say; don't look at the word count, focus on the story and the length will follow regardless. It's fine to check and obviously, you'll just have to at some point. But please please try and do what you can to avoid checking, even use a different method. I use page count because it's so varied and inaccurate that it actually doesn't matter and just tricks my brain into using that to see my very general progress and makes it seem bigger than it actually is. It also can just be easier to check at a glance if I want to make sure the structure of each chapter is more or less consistent enough.

Issue Number 3 is tricky, mostly because once you've made something, it can be legitimately very boring to reread everything you JUST wrote. For me, I'm sort of chaotic in that I reread as I go or do it very randomly and rewrite as I come up with things. The good thing is though that what you write isn't set in stone. It's malleable and fluid. I always have a cut and paste section on my computer where I just... cut and page and rearrange things as I think of it. I don't worry about "oh but what if I mess up" because you're ALWAYS gonna mess up! That's actually one of the cool things about writing, you CAN mess up and go back and reread it eventually to make it work a bit better after all the other chaotic going-back-and-fixing-things. Which brings me to my main point (especially if you don't want to replicate my chaoticness) I try to leave proofreading itself as much as I can for the end of it all. As in, I just let myself write, yes rearranging and going back whenever I want, but never throwing anything OUT, never scrapping the whole document because it's gonna have bits you might reuse. And more to the point, it gives you a lose skeleton to base your next draft on. It's more work but I find it really reassuring in that you don't judge every little thing as you go, but just say "meh, fuck it!" and write whatever works, then rewrite it in a separate document all over again, never deleting the last one so you can copy and page whatever you liked from the first draft, or second, or third, and use each mistake and flaw. Recycling is good folks, even just in writing. Or... at least it is for me. If this doesn't work for you, it doesn't work for you, but this is just what helps me so maybe it might help you too.

This also goes into Issue Number 4. Honestly, you're never gonna not be your biggest critic. But! You can at least make your work feel a bit more positive and go in with a "eh who cares?" mindset into writing. It may not erase the "wow this is hot garbage" feeling, but it'll feel a bit more like "well this is MY hot garbage and I don't care if it's bad or good, because at least it was fun". Plus, like I said; recycling is very good. The best way to force yourself not to hate something is to get really damn used to it, AKA, never getting rid of it. Which is hard, I know. Especially if you just really freaking hate it. And, well, it's not like I'm saying you should keep absolutely every little thing, I don't want you all to get clutter and folders upon folders of stuff you won't use...buuut I am saying it helps to keep things and get comfortable in your own messiness and imperfection. It starts to feel normal at least, or for me it does, and slowly you kind of just...accept it. Also, making fun little things to enjoy your ideas away from your writing itself. If you draw? Make fanart. Maybe even make AUs in your head. Maybe make some mood boards. HYPE YOURSELF UP! Or as best you can at least, and never force things. If you aren't feeling this particular story right now? Move on to another project and yes having WIPs can be annoying but sometimes it's necessary. Again, these are all just my opinions and stuff I do when I struggle with these; I'm not commanding anyone to do anything and as always, maybe this won't work for you personally. But hey, doesn't hurt to give it a try first and see if it works, or maybe something else will. Whatever the case, this is just my own two cents.

And finally, Number 5. Honestly? This isn't so much as issue in and of itself as much as just an issue of prioritisation. Imagination is the most important part of even coming up with a story to begin with and, honestly, imagining scenes can really help build a mental image of what you want to describe and how things look and feel. One thing, a little cheat code you could say, that I've found is melding daydreaming with research. Which makes absolutely no sense since this is the most funnest part with the most boring part of writing, but hey, it works surprisingly well I assure you. So here's the setup I have; no doc (except for if I really need to jot down some notes), then images that remind me of my work (Pinterest boards maybe, a few mood boards, etc), then the research. I go between each of these; daydreaming. The result? I imagine scenes with the research I want; motifs that work with themes, imagery to use in scenes, what architecture works, what the weapons look like. Then, before I even write, I go back and still daydream WITH what I've researched and it sticks in my mind way better than even the notes I've made. Speaking of, with notes, I like to doodle in the margins of them, make them fun, highlight with fun colours. Sometimes? Research, note taking and writing doesn't have to be work in and of itself, sometimes it can be fun and a little quest of your own. Sometimes making writing and research feel like you're daydreaming can make all the difference between begrudgingly slugging through a chapter, or just having fun writing a new scene you just imagined and that starts to form into something new and exciting.

TLDR: Make writing fun! Like Mary Poppins once said; "a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down". Sometimes it's actually better to make the work into a treat instead of using a treat as a bribe or punishing yourself. In fact, making any part of the process into a punishment for not working just makes everything harder.

ALSO! Just in general, take breaks! It's easy to forget what you're doing (especially once it becomes fun) and forget to take care of yourself both physically and mentally. Too much time looking at a screen (or even just a page) can be straining! Remember to eat! Remember to drink water and sleep! Get up and walk around if you can, go to the bathroom and maybe even go for a little walk outside and get some Vitamin D if you're able to. Remember to maybe take a few days away from writing so you can come at it again with a refreshed mind and new perspective, sometimes you can get boggled down and start getting too focused on one little thing. It's good to let yourself have half an hour, an hour or even a few days to just refresh and go out and get new inspiration just from living. Sometimes the key to writing and ideas is to just stop writing for a bit and to just take a breath.

#writing #writers on tumblr #creative writing #writing community #writeblr #novel writing #writers and readers #tumblr writers #tumblr writing community #writerscommunity #writerblr #writers and poets #writing advice #long post #also some swearing oops #writing resources

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gryficowa · 3 months ago

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Boycott!

Watching people prefer to spend their energy on creativity because something doesn't feel right to them (Miracolous/HH/HB) is interesting when your biggest concern is that many fundraisers don't get done and people have to wait for it to get done , not sure whether they will die today… I know, dark thoughts…

Or seeing drama because the creator led the character than they wanted (Tia… I was with Chloe myself, although it wouldn't be so bad if Thomas didn't act like a child… THE CHARACTER HE HATES IS A CHILD, although we should be critical here, because it's an animation for children and has a fucked up message, but it's weird when it comes to adult productions like HH/HB, you don't have to be a fan of Vivzipop to facepalm over this… PEOPLE, IT TAKES PLACE IN HELL, WE KNOW PEOPLE SUCK THERE)

I think the strangest drama was about Alastor being asexual and it was so dramatic that it made you shake your head.

The second stupidest drama is about the art style being too detailed (Oh yes, because we have erased the medium of animation as an art… Great)

But yes, this drama is absurd, both in fandom and anti-fandom, both piss me off the same

Now that I have your attention:

--------------------------------------------------

By the way, greetings to the TOH fan who wanted the redemption of Belos, i.e. the genocider, after everything in the world, do you think he is worth redeeming?

Seriously, there are limits to what you can do when you have a tragic past, and that limit is killing someone (Serial Killer Stories, man, Adolf Hitler himself had a tragic past… His mother died and his dream of being an artist fell apart, and his father was a toxic person, does that mean that the entire holocaust can be fucking explained by his trauma? No, man, these are unforgivable crimes)

I just don't like the mainstream media justifying genocides and murders, somehow…

Damn, in Miracolous they justified the abusive father who terrorized the city (And was complicit in the genocide during akumanization), so in the new productions this shit still exists

Can we stop normalizing murder and genocide, I beg you, creators?

Even if a few characters forgive this monster, it's strange that it takes a short time for the rest… I would just prefer not to forgive the side characters for a long time, it would be natural, because it looks like the greatest crime is to offend someone or steal something from someone from the market, not murder or genocide…

Even if this character saves another, it's strange that this character forgives, WTF, this character with a history could have been faking it, saving doesn't fix all the shit (Even if he dies), yes, I wrote it down because it's an internal frustration with pop culture and the fact that crimes of this type are normalized…

I don't know when I can understand characters forgiving it when that character was a victim of possession or did that crime unintentionally, but that's the only thing I can understand being forgiven so quickly, the problem is that many characters who are immediately forgiven , they did everything with premeditation and it is even more terrifying, good deeds won't erase crimes, so creators, don't do this, I'm begging you…

I just have the impression that these types of crimes are quickly forgiven, I know, fictional characters, but seriously, it looks like they forgive robbery or injury, not murder and genocide… Because if a child's character I can forgive that he forgives crimes (Because is too young to understand the seriousness) it's like adult characters seeing a murderer/genocide, they forgive immediately, it's sus

I'm not in favor of killing the evil characters who commit these crimes (It's taking the easy way out), I just would prefer that these types of characters weren't forgiven too quickly…

Okay, remember about the fundraisers I linked to above

Also remember about the boycott

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skeletor9000-blog · 4 months ago

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Elden Ring vs Modern Game Design (The utilisation of FOMO)

FOMO. "Fear of Missing Out." The concept is used in many, if not 90% of facets of capitalism to get you to buy in, to try this new toaster, watch this new show, play this new game so you don't miss out on THE DISCUSSION. The Discussion is a concept I'll be using in this shitpost repeatedly to refer to the cultural zeitgeist, mainly because zeitgeist is a pretentious word that people only say to make their peers believe they're cultured when in reality we can tell you took that take off Twitter Joe.

The Discussion, to explain a little more, is the cyberspace, the discord, twitter, reddit, your friends, your coworkers all talking about the same thing. "oh did you see Man U last night?" "Benedict Townsend dropped a new video did you watch it?" "Damn did you get the last boss?" and this has been weaponised for most of the modern age to get you to buy into products for fear of missing out on The Discussion.

Now video games are no stranger to this desire to be part of The Discussion but lately games have wanted their players and talkers to talk about everything. EVERYTHING. Right now. Everything needs to be discussed, all that hard work and artistic vision NEEDS to be seen, to be fawned over, to be critcised. And you can't miss out otherwise everyone will race ahead of you, so get on your PC! Get that new Genshin character, buy the battlepass and make sure you get that fried chicken gun or Tina from Accounting will laugh at you!

you thought I was joking

FOMO is weaponised not only in multiplayer games but in Single Player games too. Take for example God of War Ragnarok. Great game. Super fun. Does it have incredible gameplay, graphics, story, love within every aspect to the point you can tell this is nigh perfect? Yes. But it also utilises FOMO to great extent in the form of the map.

nothing left to chance

So the devs have made it so you do not miss a single thing. Every post is marked, every chest every draugr hole, every "secret" boss is shown clearly for our lovely ideal ADHD player who was concieved of in a boardroom that every game making company has to adhere to.

Every game company bar one.

the software of from

Hey, Hey! Stop writing that note! I am aware of Indie Developers doing shit like what I'm about to describe for years but this is about the mainstream damnit so stay in your lane (the next post will be about them)

So From Software. The guys that changed the ga- scene with their title Demons Souls and iterated it again and again until we got the behemoth that is Elden Ring. Let me take you back a decadeeand a bit, to the wonderful, military shooter filled, Obama-lusted times of 2009.

this wont have any repurcussions

2009 was a big year for video games, notable releases such as Call of Duty 6 Modern Warfare 2, Skate 2 and the critically acclaimed Sandy Beach for the Nintendo Wii

i cried at the end because someone threw sand in my eyes

The gaming scene was getting bland. This was the zero dawn point of the Horizon that was oncoming, that is to say Call of Duty became nuclear popular and every game was about to copy it and be even worse. The scene had many good games but all of them had little booklets, tutorials, checkpoints, save points, proper wuss shit for the average gamer. You couldn't walk 10 metres without a "checkpoint reached" littering your very cluttered UI.

this is america's joe biden

In comes Demon Souls, a game that flew in the face of this hand holding, quite far from it actually. there were barely any tutorials, you got killed in one shot by most enemies. Your only reliable defence was a roll and everything was hard. Most importantly, you didn't know wtf was going on. There's a vague character here, a secret you missed there, some weird world tendency bullshit going on in the background, people had no clue. It was a ball of black mystery dropped in a sea of devs enticing you with shiny gimmicks.

And that's why people still talk about it today.

this is the beginning.

Demons Souls was the blueprint. It had winding levels that double backed on themselves in ways you wouldn't imagine, side characters who had quests which made 0 sense on how to progress, difficulty upon difficulty for new gamers, it was so different. The beauty of it flying in the face of conventional gaming meant people HAD to talk about it. It didn't just grab The Discussion, it had it a nigh permanent place the other forms of media would die for.

You had to talk to other people to progress. Whether it be to find clues to secret weapons, to notice shortcuts others had found, to even finding boss weaknesses to give tips and tricks on how to progress.

By making all this knowledge unavailable from the get go, Demons Souls had forced players to become each others guides, and as a result people would keep playing it because you'd find something new someone else said that you'd wanna check out. It might not even be true, some guy could start a rumour about the penetrators armour being available and players would go and see if he was correct and find out the liar was ahead, but the wonder of naiivete had returned. From Software had taken a weary artform, and showed everyone there was another way.

And then they got good at it.

sony greenlit horizon 2 but never want anyone to mention this game for some reason

Admittedly I never played Dark Souls 1 or 2 (I'm sorry) but the one game where I felt From Software peaked in terms of utilising FOMO was Bloodborne.

Bloodborne is another From Software game that's set in 1990s England, where London has run out of beans so the denizens put blood from an alien on their toast instead and go crazy at the lack of flatulence it gave them. The gameplay was tight and faster paced than Dark Souls, and the aesthetic had gone from Dark Fantasy to Victorian Gothic architecture (if ur a smartass pls correct me on this).

It is fantastic. The story and lore created by this game is given to you in drips and drabs from small item descriptions and minimal lines from NPCs who either try to kill you or die from you trying to help them. This happens a lot.

This game was released in 2015, and never got a sequel, nor a remaster, just 1 dlc and that's it. It didn't follow convention, sticking to the tried and true method of lore and story you have to dig out, bosses who you'd need to look online to help with, sidequests that make 0 sense, Areas that require moon logic to enter, but goddamn it did it well. And, as a result, people STILL have discussions about Bloodborne to this day.

The Pale Blood Hunt is essential reading for any Bloodboner out there looking for lore btw, but I'm losing focus.

So this strategy of lack of direct information, lack of direction, no easy hints to what you have to do has led to a higher barrier of entry but also it leads people to WANT to explore more of your game. There is no checklist on a map, it's more "I found a spooky ass castle did you find the vampire in it?" and then you ask wtf what castle. Your next hours are spent trawling through nightmares again to find an invitation to a spooky carriage that whisks you away to 10 more hours of wonder.

this is an optional area

again, you're found wanting more, and the game giving it to you. Your friends, people online, youtubers are all diving into the content to find the nooks and crannies instead of having it all laid out to you as quest markers or on your map. The Discussion is still holding a round table for avid fans to talk about Bloodborne. This felt like peak From Software game making at the time. An interesting world, so much content, incredible gameplay, what more could they do?

Little did The Discussers know, From Software hadn't even begun to peak.

I'll shatter anything and anyone for a chance with you babydoll

ALL OF THIS you can visit

Elden Fucking Ring. The best open world ever created, the magnum opus of design, absolutely shattering the philosophies about overworld design and creating such an inviting vista that you beg to explore, rather than begging you to check out the neat trick it conveniently has marked for you.

The biggest beauty of Elden Ring to me compared to God of War is that God of War is afraid. God of War is scared you'll miss out on what they've worked hard on so they have voicelines reminding you of the berserker's existence, of any objective or sidequest you haven't accomplished, it has an exhaustive checklist so you can guiltlessly leave from any area without having your anxiety spike thinking you might miss something. Elden Ring says fuck tthat.

To get to the hardest boss in God of War Ragnarok, you just go to the marked berserker locations, smack em up and then find the final man.

he is really fun to fight to be fair

To get to the hardest boss in Elden Ring you have to get one half of a medallion by robbing a homeless person:

he tweaked so hard after i stole from him.

the 2nd half by beating up an angry paraplegic (if this isn't the correct term pls can someone lemme know) :

look i'm the one in trouble here

THEN you take that to a secret elevator

i need a manicure

you then end up here and have to find a secret town:

bring blankie

After finding the secret town you're treated to the invisible locals who have knives that wanna kill you:

thank you miyazaki

after solving the puzzle you get to ANOTHER area:

i wonder if that's edible

murder every innocent being in there to gain access to the SECRET CASTLE underneath:

it's more like a fort really

and take a giant elevator to see her sleeping:

hey!

and... this is all barely hinted at. This boss became a legend, one that could heal with every hit, one that had an "undodgeable move", and I went through all of this just to have a taste of what OTHER people were talking about. Nobody gives a rats ass about the Berserkers from God of War nowadays even though they were front and centre but Malenia, blade of miquella, is still talked about 2 years after the game released and will be for years on. She's a phenomenal design, the build is amazing and, most importantly, she utilises FOMO in the opposite way.

The Berserkers are there to say "hey! i know you have no content left but there's a superhard boss here for you to kill!" so the player does exactly that to get some rewards for a new armour.

Malenia is hinted at in the game but there is so much to uncover to get to her in the first place. And it's all discovered by The Discussion. Where to get the medallion, where the town is, what the puzzle fucking meant, how to beat the Haligtree and finally how to beat that waterfowl dance.

The Discussion loves this shit, there's so much implied, so much to talk about and the developers don't worry about the boardroom created ADHD gamer missing out because, in reality, one guy will find one step, one girl another, then someone else and someone else and that buzz, that wonder that curiosity will fuel people into going for the ultimate prize. Not the boss, not the rewards but the journey itself, the discovery, helping others, finding weaknesses of the boss, finding new shortcuts to get to her, and having it all documented, discussed because any shred of information discovered becomes invaluable in attaining the goal.

The game is FILLED with things like this but I've gone on long enough already, with more secret bosses, unassuming caves containing game changing items, weapons you need to go through confusing mazes to find, From Software don't beg you to engage with their content. They just give everyone a world and relies on every human's unique perspective and desire to help to find out everything for them. You're never going to be missing out when you start, you're just finally joining in.

anyways this was really long, i will make it a youtube video soon. until then, developers, keep it real. I did find GOW fun but Elden Ring will always be something else.

#elden ring #bloodborne #god of war #god of war ragnarok #from software #fomo

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saiwriting · 3 months ago

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Thoughts, Thoughts, Blog #3

I so badly want to be someone else, but that someone else I want to be is also me. I find it extremely hard to envision myself in the future. Ever since I was younger, I always had this promise to myself that literally only one person knows: that I would not make it or go past 25 years old. Doesn't matter, don't come console me about it, I'm actively working toward that sentiment daily in the "it's so over" "we're so back" format. Either way, I could never truly envision myself in the future without it looking and sounding and even smelling eerily similar to me in the present moment. Then I thought to myself, well, maybe this is a weird lesson in accepting myself as I am. Maybe this is something that I will never truly be mastered in my mind. Those goddamn maybes will kill me. I guess the only logical product of this mindset was one that I was forced to accept who I was at any given moment and that wanting improvement was an innate hatred of yourself which, hey, is pretty fitting considering the whole born sinner thing. Or maybe the mindset was the residual effect. I could not even see a better me within my dreams.

Recently, I finished the book The Law of Attraction and it was both...weird and transformative, This guy-or entity-Abraham was, like, a total Yoda in my book; lucky for him I've always fucked with the weird wise guys. A key pillar in this....biography? novel? self-help guide? was that The Law of Attraction was always happening whether I knew it or not and therefore I am always creating things within my reality based on whatever I am focused on. Therefore, the more consistent I am with 1) listening to my Inner Being as 'he' called it, 2) thinking strongly, positively, and deliberately about what it is I want for my life and 3) to then be as delusional as possible and believe that I am owed it by the Universal law, the better my life will be, I will have made my Higher Self proud, and I will literally get everything I have ever wanted. If you couldn't tell by the tonality of the language used, this is possibly the hardest thing I could ever do in my life (thanks Gemini North Node, I guess?). How could I possibly accomplish this when I LITERALLY CANNOT THINK OF MYSELF IN ANYTHING BUT FIRST PERSON. Well, lucky for me, Abraham kinda explained it good enough to where I can practice it at the very least. TL;DR version is this: if you keep thinking about the what-is then you will keep attracting only.....you guessed it! what-is. It sounds simple, but when that is literally something I have been doing my whole life, then it's impossibly frustrating to shift gears now at the ripe age of 22.

So, a conclusion that I came up with, thanks to both my obsession with the medium and the Akashic Records reading I got the day before my birthday, was that I needed to write. I needed to write, and I needed to write so obsessively so that I am writing just about anything I or you could think of. Whatever I want to accomplish in this life, for sure, can only be accomplished by writing because otherwise the F-5 twister of thoughts in my brain will never be synthesized, organized, and archived for future sanity's sake. I have to write in order to live. That's why I got so many goddamn sticky notes and shit from W.B Mason thanks to my now former employment. Shit is crazy, but I gotta write in order to even feel like I can think. In some ways, this feels like a curse because who truly has time for that motherfucker who wants to stay an extra 5 seconds in any given moment to savor and process it for fear of a dissociative and depressive memory loss. Who wants to always see me writing with a pen in my little notebook splaying my thoughts on paper because if I try to launch them from my tongue, they malfunction. Who wants to deal with the frustration of someone who cannot and will not do anything "on the fly" because she just....she just can't think that fast. Who wants that? Who wants to stop for that? (Un)fortunately, it has to be me.

#spilled ink #writers on tumblr #art #black woman writer #black writers #black poetry #black poets on tumblr #language #poem #poets on tumblr #black women blog #writing blogs #creative writing #blog #blogger #thoughts #random thoughts #thought blog

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ahsxual · 3 years ago

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Hi! I was wondering if I could request a Ledger!Joker x lesbian reader (platonic friendship relationship) and she finally loses her v-card to her crush. She’s just bragging to J and squealing like a school girl.

Lesbian!Reader loses her virginity to her crush and tells J

Pairing: Lesbian!Reader x L!Joker (platonic relationship)

Genre: Fluff, Angst

Warnings: None

A/N: Heyy honey!! I'm so sorry for taking so long to post this, but I'm trying to write your old and recent requests as fast as I can!! I don't feel very confident about this one, but I hope you still enjoy this <33 If you want me to change something, message me :)

You found yourself smiling like a little girl who just discovered that her crush likes her back, and now can't think of anything else but imagining what it will be like to have a happy life with her lover

Well, it's perfectly normal to think like that when you just lost your v-card to the girl you have been crushing for so long

All those happy and thrilling thoughts were running through your mind over and over, only to be stopped by a loud noise

You gasped so loud and with such force, that you felt your lungs hurt a little, because you got really scared by J when he slipped clumsily through your kitchen window

"Oh, ah... hi there!" J greeted you excitedly, and you could tell by his behavior that he also had a big and productive day

"Hi J!" you greeted him back with the biggest smile on your face, while your eyes shone like the strongest star you could see in the dark sky of that night

His facial expressions changed a little bit at that moment, his face changing from excitement to suspicion

"Uh... aren't ya gonna tell me what's making ya so giggly? It's kinda annoying actually." he asked you with a annoyed tone. He could no longer hold his curiosity, and even if he wouldn't admit it, he didn't like the fact that someone besides him, your "best friend", made you smile like that: so... intensely and proudly

You rolled your eyes once you realized he was being selfish, but you wouldn't let his bad temper affect your amazing mood

"I will be straight to the point." you got up from your bed and got on top of it, so you could be taller and make a presence in your room, since you're feeling like that moment was yours and no one else's

"I finally lost my virginity! To my crush!!!" your excitement shined through the whole room: at this point, you were jumping on your bed, shaking your arms above your head while spinning around, until you heard J's voice, this time lower and more agressive

"Ya fucking what?!!" you stopped to look at him and you could tell by his reaction that he wasn't as happy as you were. Even if you hate it, J sees you as a fragile flower who needs to be protected at all costs, and he will murder whoever dares to lay a single finger on you

"Aren't you happy?" you looked confused at him... however deep down, you already expected this reaction coming from your psycho clown. "You didn't forget that I'm a lesbian, right?"

The moment his realization hit his head, he relaxed a little bit, since he knows how man's mind work and how stupid and even dangerous they can be... but with women, it's always a little bit different

"Oh... right. I forgot that fact for a sec." you started giggling, this time with more excitement than before, and then you jumped onto his tall and large body, hugging and "crushing" him so you could liberate some extra energy your body and mind were producing

You then felt his cheek move upwards, meaning he was smiling, and that meant the world to you, because you realized that he was truly happy for you: but from now on, be prepared to hear him making the most annoying jokes about this situation and asking how's everything between you and your crush almost everyday

Just please don't tell him that she hurt you with something that is insignificant and can be solved... because he will hurt or even kill her, no joke

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kurowvie · 3 years ago

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notes:

⋆ the angst part is like... real angsty (esp number 52, it got my eye twitching)

⋆ the angst part has some sensitive topics like being blamed for someone's death and mental illnesses

⋆ it was really hard for me to think of fluff prompts so i got almost all prompts after number 15 from here.

⋆ I don't write smuts (U), yandere(U), mafia(C), agere(C) or poly(C)

U = uncomfortable writing

C = i just can't write these, the final product is usually shit HELP

A N G S T

001. ❝Stay away from me.❞

002. ❝I can't believe you've done this!❞

003. ❝Can I ask you one thing? Could you... Could you please leave me alone right now?❞

004. ❝You're a psycho!❞

005. ❝Revenge is not the answer to everything!❞

006. ❝Do you like hurting people?❞

007. ❝Why are you acting like this?❞

008. ❝Maybe if you weren't being a b*tch.❞

009. ❝You're so annoying.❞

010. ❝F*ck off!❞

011. ❝How can you be so happy?❞

012. ❝You should be sad.❞

013. ❝You broke me first.❞

014. ❝Why are you always so negative?❞

015. ❝I can't handle your *mental illness* anymore. Forgive me.❞

016. ❝You're sick!❞

017. ❝You wouldn't be here if it weren't for me.❞

018. ❝I saved you!❞

019. ❝I was eighteen! I was jobless, I had no family, I couldn't get into a good university! Then came your stupid little heart break, I had to leave everything and come to your house in the middle of the night! I missed my admission test because you wanted me to be there for you! That night I went home and had nothing to eat! Not even a single slice of bread while you had the latest phone, the most comfortable bed, all the food you ever wanted, rich parents who got you into your favourite university but when you cried I came! Why? Because I was your best friend. ❞

020. ❝When your b*tchy girlfriend said shit about me, I said nothing because i knew you would believe her, like you always did. Like you are doing right now. And... God must hate me because I have no single proof that she did that.❞

021. ❝Tsk tsk tsk.❞

022. ❝This is why no one loves you.❞

023. ❝This is why your parents are dead.❞

024. ❝You killed your parents.❞

025. ❝If I had a child like you, I would k/ll myself too.❞

026. ❝You deserve nothing.❞

027. ❝You belong to the streets.❞

028. ❝You could never fit in.❞

029. ❝You're so embarrassing.❞

030. ❝I'm ashamed to be seen in public with you.❞

031. ❝You dress like trash.❞

032. ❝You can never get things done.❞

033. ❝I don't know why I told you to do that when I knew you would mess it up, like you always do.❞

034. ❝Stop thinking about yourself for a moment.❞

035. ❝You're so selfish.❞

036. ❝No this isn't self-love. You're so obsessed with yourself, gosh.❞

037. ❝Do you realize that other people also have feelings.❞

038. ❝Don't you think I loved you too much to be used and discarded?❞

039. ❝Why don't you believe me?❞

040. ❝You out of everyone!?❞

041. ❝I regret loving you.❞

042. ❝All I ever wanted was to be enough for you!❞

043. ❝I was insecure!❞

044. ❝Maybe in another life.❞

045. ❝I can't stay here anymore.❞

046. ❝Gosh, I hate you so much.❞

047. ❝You left me there crying!❞

048. ❝I was just trying to get close to you-❞ ❝You were embarrassing me!❞

049. ❝I... I don't know what to do now.❞

050. ❝Please love me back.❞

051. ❝F*CK THE PATRIARCHY!❞

052. ❝Aw, did i hurt your wittle feelings?❞

F L U F F

001. ❝Let me get that for you.❞

002. ❝Here, hold my hands.❞

003. ❝Would a kiss make you feel better?❞

004. ❝Your hands are so small.❞

005. ❝We fit into each other's arms perfectly! We're meant to be!❞

006. ❝If I could do anything to ease your pain, I would.❞

007. ❝You're so strong and I am so proud of you.❞

008. ❝I told you that you could do it!❞

009. ❝I will be here beside you.❞

010. ❝You are the best thing that happened to me.❞

011. ❝You're the most beautiful person i've ever seen.❞

012. ❝You look cute but you'd look cuter in my clothes.❞

013. ❝Your smile is so pretty.❞

014. ❝You're so good at what you do.❞

015. ❝I wish I could be as talented as you!❞

016. ❝Come cuddle.❞

017. ❝Damn, you look so good.❞

018. ❝You're so good at this!❞

019. ❝And I thought I was the best at this.❞

020. ❝I like the way your hand fits in mine.❞

021. ❝You can't leave without letting me hug you first.❞

022. ❝Your lips are really warm.❞

023. ❝You look so comfy, and cuddle-able.❞

024. ❝Why are you staring at me like that!❞ ❝Oh, don’t mind me. Just enjoying the view.❞

025. ❝Would you mind if I kissed you?❞

026. ❝I remember when you first held my hand. I was blushing for days!❞

027. ❝God, you’re perfect.❞

028. ❝You’re hair is really soft after you wash it.❞

028. ❝I don't mean this in a creepy way but you're so cute when you're half asleep.❞

029. ❝You are my new pillow.❞

030. ❝I think I love you.❞

031. ❝Don’t be silly. You didn't upset me.❞

032. ❝Your bed head is really cute.❞

033. ❝I love your hugs.❞

034. ❝Shush and go back to bed.❞

035. ❝But I want to hear you sing.❞

036. ❝I like it when you pat my head.❞

037. ❝Let me do it for you.❞

038. ❝I think that's enough for today. Go sleep.❞

039. ❝I feel this urge to protect you whenever I'm around you and I know you're tough and badass but... still. So, please let me be there for you and protect you.❞

040. ❝Here, I saved some for you. Try it?❞

041. ❝You. Me. Movie marathon. Get all the snacks you can carry.❞

042. ❝This would look so cute on you!❞

043. ❝Fight me. Pillow fight. And by fight I mean cuddle.❞

044. ❝C'mon, with anyone else this would be too weird.❞

045. ❝That sounds like a bad idea. I’m in.❞

046. ❝I want to kiss you and hold your hand any time I want.❞

047. ❝I am who I am because of you.❞

048. ❝Your eyes are amazing… do you know that?❞

049. ❝Wow - you look… amazing.❞

050. ❝We just met, this is crazy, I’m referencing a song… but call me maybe?❞

#kpop masterlist #masterlist #masterpost #daily prompt #fanfiction prompts #writing prompt #prompt fill #writing prompts #story prompt #angst prompts #fluff prompts

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sohotthateveryonedied · 4 years ago

Note

Hiii!! I really love your tumblr posts and I'm pretty new to the Batfam (meaning I have only read fics and textposts about them, no comics) and I wanted to ask about the year Bruce/Batman gets "lost in time". I know general things of what the kids have been doing–Dick became batman and fired Tim from robin, giving it to Damian, everyone thinking Tim was crazy for believing Bruce was alive, (don't really know what Jason was up to though, was he still murderous towards Tim? Does the pit still affect him? Also I have no idea about Cass and Duke, were they introduced at this point??) Anyways, my real question was why was Bruce lost in time, what villain put him there? And how did he get out? And how long was he "dead"? Was Bruce in another reality or like just asleep the whole time? Oh! And how soon did this happen after Damian got introduced to the family–a couple months?

I'm so sorry this is so long, but I hope you answer and thank you!!

(I’m going to try and cover all my bases here by going into how exactly Bruce “died,” what went down during the Battle For the Cowl, what the Batkids did while Bruce was gone, and how Bruce came back. Hopefully it all makes sense?? We’ll see how it goes lmao.)

Part 1 - What Happened to Bruce:

So there was this event called Final Crisis (which I won’t go completely into since it would make this post a million times longer than it already is), but the bottom line is that Darkseid wants to overthrow reality and release his Anti-Life Equation, which would overthrow the whole planet and turn everyone into slaves. (If you’re interested in knowing more about the storyline, here’s a Reddit thread that explains it WAY better than I could.)

What I CAN tell you is that during his final confrontation with Darkseid, Bruce is hit by an Omega Beam and turned into a burnt chicken nugget killed. Poor guy.

Final Crisis #6

Clark and Diana bring the body back to the Batcave and break the news to the Batfamily. Batman #687 covers a good portion of the aftermath such as Bruce’s funeral, the Batfamily grieving, and Dick coming to terms with his new responsibility of becoming Batman.

Batman #687

Part 2 - Battle For the Cowl:

Musical chairs time, fellas! After word gets out that Batman is gone, Gotham erupts into chaos. Dick doesn’t want to take over the mantle, Tim needs Dick to take over the mantle, and Jason says “fuck it” and takes over the mantle himself because somebody around here has to. He becomes this murderous psychopathic Batman and starts taking out criminals with deadly force because someone’s gotta do the job, so it might as well be him.

Batman: Battle For the Cowl #1

(Okay honestly, this series had some pretty bad characterization overall, which sucks since it’s such an important storyline. Jason is portrayed as this violent psychopath, which...okay, he was kind of insane after the Pit and all, but not to this degree. Personally, I choose to owe the bad characterization to Bruce’s death because as much as Jason resents Bruce for all he’s done, he does still love him and losing him would be devastating, which would exacerbate his already fragile mental health. As for Damian, this happens roughly three years after his first appearance, so we can assume it’s been a few months since he first joined the family. He’s still relatively new at this point, so nobody knows how to write him yet. He ends up being depicted as if his main two personality traits are Bratty and Assassin-Child and that’s it. It’s all just a mess.)

Anyway, Tim tells Dick to become Batman and stop Jason’s reign of terror. Dick says no, so Tim follows Jason’s lead by saying “fuck it” and putting on the cowl himself. He goes to confront Jason, which ends in Jason beating the crap out of him (again) and leaving him for dead after Tim declines his offer to become Jason’s Robin. Dick goes to save Tim and ends up fighting Jason.

Battle For the Cowl #3

Dick wins, Jason disappears, Tim is fine, and Dick finally gets his head out of his ass and becomes Batman.

Part 3 - What Happens to Each Batkid While Bruce is “Dead”?:

Dick:

As I said, Dick becomes the new Batman a month after Bruce’s death. He’s got big shoes to fill, and it takes some time for him to get used to his new role. He and Damian end up flipping around the classic Batman and Robin dynamic, with Batman now as the fun counterpart to Robin’s edginess. Dick, Damian, and Alfred relocate to the penthouse above the Wayne Foundation building, operating out of a secret Bat-Bunker in the basement.

Batman #688

Jason:

After Battle For the Cowl, Jason is still batshit insane and determined to make Dick’s already stressful life even harder by becoming a supervillain with an ugly costume and an even uglier hairstyle. (I know it’s just because the artist sucked, but still. Jason is horrifying to look at during this time.) He mostly just gets on Dick’s nerves by running around Gotham with his new sidekick Scarlet and killing criminals as Batman and Robin wannabes. Eventually, Dick has Jason committed to Arkham Asylum and he hangs out there until Bruce returns.

Batman and Robin (2009) #5

Tim:

Tim...doesn’t do great after Bruce’s death, mentally. Dick makes Damian Robin, his reasoning being that Robin is more of a sidekick and he sees Tim as his equal. By making Damian Robin, Dick hopes that it will give him the stability he needs to keep him from straying back toward the “bad” side. (It’s the right move ultimately, although his execution was pretty messed up since he didn’t discuss it with Tim beforehand, but he’s allowed to make mistakes. Dick’s father just died and now he’s in charge of picking up the pieces of their broken family. It’s a lot to handle.)

Long story short, Tim has a breakdown, realizes that Bruce is alive, dons the Red Robin identity, and cuts ties with his family to travel the world in search of proof. It’s a rough time.

Red Robin #1

Damian:

Our little guy becomes Robin! So proud of him! As I explained earlier, Dick makes Damian his Robin with the assumption that it will keep him out of trouble, and he’s right on that account. He mentors Damian, teaching him how to channel his violent instincts into something productive, and it works! Slowly but surely, Damian makes the transition from bratty assassin to actual hero!

Batman and Robin (2009) #22

Cass:

Duke sadly was not introduced at this point in time, so he missed out on all the pandemonium. Cass, however, has been Batgirl for years by now, but she got kind of pushed aside by the writers after Bruce’s death. Bruce disappears shortly after adopting Cass, but once he was “dead,” the writers sort of moved Cass around for a while, not quite knowing what to do with her. First she was with the Outsiders. Then they got disbanded and Cass tried forming a new network of heroes to take over for Batman if needed. Then she helped out in said network during Battle for the Cowl, taking care of a newly ravaged Gotham. Then Cass gave the Batgirl mantle to Stephanie Brown after she became disillusioned with the role, thanks to the loss of her father and mentor. Then Cass picked up and moved to Hong Kong to “follow Bruce’s plans” by continuing whatever work he had set up for her there. It was all very vague and confusing, and Cass more or less got swept under the rug during this time. Thanks, writers.

Batgirl (2009) #1

Part 4 - How Bruce Came Back:

When the Blackest Night storyline happens, the Justice League realizes that the corpse buried under Bruce’s grave is apparently not the real one and that he’s actually alive out there somewhere! How wild is that! This is further proven by Dick after he places Bruce’s body in a Lazarus Pit to revive, which has the same result because it’s very clearly Not Bruce and they should have listened to Tim from the start.

Batman and Robin (2009) #9

Anyway, what actually happened is that the Omega Beams that Darkseid shot at Bruce didn’t kill him, but rather blasted him back through time to the prehistoric era with his memories wiped. The Omega Energy inside of Bruce ends up catapulting him through various time periods, which is all part of Darkseid’s plan. With each time-hop, Bruce builds up more Omega Energy in his body which, when he gets back to his original time period, will be unleashed and destroy everything.

Batman: The Return of Bruce Wayne #5

It’s been a little under two years since Final Crisis, though in-universe it’s uncertain exactly how long Bruce has been “dead.” We can assume it’s been a year, give or take. The way he comes back is too scientific and complicated for me to understand, so uhhhh the bottom line is that Tim and a few Leaguers save Bruce at the Vanishing Point and the day is saved! Hooray!

Batman: The Return of Bruce Wayne #6

(If you want to read about how it actually goes down, then I seriously recommend reading Batman: The Return of Bruce Wayne. It’s only six issues, so it’s a quick read and it explains the situation far better than I ever could.)

Bruce eventually reunites with his family after spying on them for a period of time as Insider to see what has changed in his absence:

Bruce Wayne: The Road Home

After that, things quickly settle back into their new normal. Dick and Damian stay on as Batman and Robin. Bruce goes back to being Batman as well, with him handling Batman Incorporated business and Dick continuing as Gotham’s defender. Tim keeps the Red Robin outfit, Steph stays on as Batgirl, and Cass becomes Black Bat. Jason stays in Arkham for a while before filing an appeal to be moved to a regular prison. He kills 82 inmates in less than a week and gets transferred back to Arkham, which he promptly escapes from. It’s a ride, I tell ya.

Aaaaand that’s about it! I hope this answered all of your questions!

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helloalycia · 4 years ago

Text

my happy ending [two] // kara danvers

summary: the secret Kara has been putting off for months finally comes to light, leaving you both in a precarious situation

warning/s: mentions of a breakup (let's be honest, this isn't a spoiler lol)

author's note: here’s the second part! hope you like it :)

part one | masterlist | wattpad

It had been a few months since Kara and I said 'I love you' and it was around that time when things between us were moving forward. We were still going strong and I had never been in love with someone as much as I was with her. No relationship I'd had in the past was as amazing as it was with Kara – she was magnificent.

I was sure nothing would get in the way of us; we were going strong and despite small, petty arguments we'd had in the past, we'd never truly fell out over something. I couldn't imagine us doing so either, because our relationship was built on honesty and trust. What could possibly break us up?

I was in charge of all social media content for CatCo, so I wasn't one who usually went with reporters to cover stories. In fact, I rarely did unless it was to help a colleague, like now. My friend, Cara, was covering a story at L-Corp – something science-y to do with the labs. I wasn't too into the details, but she didn't want to go alone, so she asked me to accompany her.

So, that's where I found myself now, standing with Cara as she was being shown around the labs of L-Corp by a scientist.

Cara was a professional, asking question after question and digging for the nitty gritty details in which the scientist would try to avoid. It was pretty cool to witness.

"So, that's everything we're working on so far," the scientist finished the tour, stopping by some glass doors.

"What's in there?" I asked, nodding behind the scientist.

The woman glanced behind her before forcing a small smile. "That's something I shouldn't discuss."

I quirked an eyebrow. "Seriously? Now I definitely want to know."

"Look, this isn't a scrutinising article," Cara explained, her voice sounding convincing. "We're not trying to uncover L-Corp's secrets. The last thing we need is another 'evil Luthor' recycled news story."

"I appreciate the sentiment, but I still can't share what's in there," the scientist said, apologetically.

"Off the record?" Cara offered, and I could sense her curiosity, too. "We won't tell anyone. I won't report it."

The scientist seemed reluctant. "It's not a secret, I can tell you both. But it's just, you're the media..."

"Technically, she's the reporter," I pointed out, literally pointing to Cara, who smacked me in the arm.

"C'mon, we'll sign an NDA or whatever," Cara promised.

After some puppy dog eyes and pouting, the scientist (whose name I couldn't remember) gave us some NDAs to sign before finally taking us inside the glass room.

"As you know, we manufacture many different products," she explained, leading us to a desk with some microscopes on. "We're working on recreating Kryptonite."

I furrowed my brows. "That's that stuff that Supergirl and Superman have right?"

"Their weakness," the scientist corrected. "We've managed to recreate the properties of Kryptonite and can use it in case of an attack from Kryptonians."

"But the only Kryptonians we know of are Superman and Supergirl and they would never attack," Cara stated with confusion.

"Not necessarily true," the scientist said. "Remember Astra?"

"The woman who tried to kill us all at the start of the year? Yeah, we remember," I replied, shivering at the memory.

"It's for cases like that," she explained. "It's not a big deal, but we're keeping it on the down low to avoid public scrutiny. As you said earlier."

Cara nodded and began to look through the microscope, studying the Kryptonite on the slides. I looked at the green glowing rock beside the microscope, picking it up and wondering how something so beautiful looking could be so dangerous to an alien.

"Amazing, isn't it?"

I looked up at the scientist. "I guess. This stuff really kills Kryptonians?"

"Too much can, yes," she answered. "Small doses can inflict pain, and manageable doses can strip them of their powers, making them similar to a human. This piece you're holding is a highly-concentrated dose."

"Best keep this far away from National City's only hero then," I joked, feeling a tad uncomfortable that I was holding such a powerful object.

I placed the Kryptonite back on the desk and tapped Cara. She got the hint and concluded the tour.

Cara and I headed back to CatCo after and she thanked me for accompanying her to the tour. It wasn't a big deal, so I smiled and left her be to write it up, promising to give it a read before she submitted it.

I decided to head to Kara's afterwards, seeing as she was working from home today. I brought some food – her favourite, Potstickers – to surprise her, and knocked on with a smile on my face. Just the thought of seeing her got me all giddy, like a little kid.

"It's open!" Kara called out from the other side.

I rolled my eyes playfully and walked into her flat, setting the food on the kitchen counter. "What did I say about leaving your door unlocked, Kara? It could have been anyone!"

Kara grinned from her position at the dining table, standing up to approach me. "But I knew it was you and– ah!"

I furrowed my eyebrows when I saw Kara stumble over her feet when walking towards me.

"Kara, what is it?" I asked, moving forward to help, but when I touched her, she pushed me away and held the table for support. "Kara!"

I looked closely and realised her veins were glowing bright green. That could only happen if...

"Wait a minute," I said, staying stood still as she gulped hard, still hunched over with pain. "You're in pain... and that can only happen if you've been in contact with–"

"Kryptonite!" she cut me off breathlessly, before staring at me with startled eyes.

I stepped back, feeling my heart drop to my stomach. "You're a Kryptonian."

"Why do you have Kryptonite?!" she questioned, still clutching the table and cowering away from me.

I shook my head, still in awe. "I was at L-Corp and we saw some Kryptonite... but only Kryptonians are affected, and there's only two known Kryptonians on Earth... Superman and..."

She avoided my eyes and that's when my suspicion was confirmed. I felt my mouth go dry as I looked at Kara carefully. Her glasses, that was it. That was the only thing separating her from her other identity, her other life. How could I have missed that?

"I've gotta go," I got out finally, my throat closing up.

"Y/N, please wait," she said desperately, stepping forward, but she stopped herself when overcome with pain. Her skin was glowing green now and I realised that there was still Kryptonite residue on me from that highly-concentrated piece I held earlier.

I turned around and left, feeling my heart beat fast in my chest. Kara was Supergirl. I didn't know what to feel because that very fact was still trying to sink in.

I had no choice but to go back to CatCo after, needing to get the rest of my work done for today. But I couldn't concentrate because of what I'd just discovered. Kara was Supergirl. She was an alien. She had a whole other life I didn't know about.

My phone kept getting notifications from Kara – she wanted to explain herself, but she couldn't see me until she was sure the Kryptonite residue had dispersed. I didn't care about that anyway, I didn't want to see her right now. I wasn't sure what I would say if I did – she'd hidden this from me!

I thought we had something special and unique. I thought I'd finally found someone, something, indestructible. I thought I knew Kara inside and out, I wanted to believe I did. But I was wrong. She was pretending this whole time.

I went home after work, leaving a little early because I wasn't actually getting anything done. I was confused, lost, unsure what to do with this information. Kara was Supergirl. When she disappeared randomly, that's probably why. When she would sneak off with James and Winn... they probably knew, too. It seemed that everyone important to her knew. But I didn't. Maybe I wasn't as important to her as I thought.

When I reached my flat, I saw Kara leaning against the doorframe. She perked up when she saw me, clearing her throat.

"Y/N," she muttered, her voice breaking.

I wanted to ignore her, but I couldn't. I simply stared at her, noticing her red, teary eyes and puffy face that were hidden behind her glasses, the same ones that had hidden her identity. It was literally right in front of me and I hadn't noticed. She hadn't shared it with me. I was so sure we would last. A relationship built upon honesty and trust. Huh. What a joke.

"I don't want to speak to you right now," I said as calmly as I could muster, before fumbling with my keys.

"Y/N, please, I know you're angry, but I need to explain to you," she said desperately. "I don't want to hurt you."

"It's too late for that," I mumbled, swallowing down the lump in my throat before managing to slot the key in the hole and push open my door.

"I'm sorry," she said, following me inside. I rolled my eyes as she watched me with a guilty expression. "I didn't want you to find out like this."

"It seems that you didn't want me to find out at all!" I snapped at her, slamming the front door and spinning around to face her. "I found out by accident, Kara. You lied to me. You didn't trust me."

"I do," she tried, but I shook my head, disguising my hurt with irritation.

"No, you don't, otherwise you would have told me," I stated. "I feel stupid for not figuring it out sooner."

"I'm sorry–"

"I don't want to hear it!" I cut her off. "At first, maybe you didn't trust me enough to tell me, that's fine. Then we admitted we liked each other and okay, fair point, you didn't know if we would last so you didn't want to tell me. It's fine, understandable even, that you didn't tell me. But then we told each other we loved each other. And that could have been your chance. But no. You kept pretending that I actually meant something."

"I wasn't pretending!"

"If you weren't, then I would mean something to you, Kara. I would be important enough in your life to have known the truth!" I shouted, my vision blurry with tears. "You let me fall in love with you! Believing we could go somewhere when this whole time, you were living a whole other life! And apparently everybody else knows but me! Right? I presume that's why you're always hanging out with Winn and James?"

She stayed quiet, watching me with tears streaming down her face, but I couldn't care less. She was hurting me.

"Get out," I said, breathing out.

"Y/N–"

"I said get out," I repeated, glaring at her.

She nodded slowly, looking down to her shoes. "I'm so sorry, Y/N..." She walked past me, and I didn't turn around until I heard the door close.

I released a shaky breath, closing my eyes as tears fell. So much for a happy ending.

–

A lot can happen in a month, which is funny because it goes by quite quickly.

That's how long it had been as I tried to come to terms with how I felt about Kara hiding a big part of her life from me. I couldn't just forgive her and pretend it didn't hurt. The more I thought about it – which was a lot, as much as I tried not to – the more I felt like an idiot.

I was in love with somebody who I truly believed was my perfect someone. I believed she was everything to me, but she was pretending the whole time. I was convinced God was out there, letting me know not to get too attached, too safe with someone, because I would just be setup for disappointment.

Obviously, seeing as Kara and I worked in the same office, it made for, well, pretty much every day an awkward encounter. I tried my best to avoid her presence, which I thought wouldn't be too difficult, but gosh it was. It was like she was everywhere I went – the photocopier, the coffee machine, the toilets. It was infuriating, especially because I began to miss her a lot.

I had to put up with avoiding her eyes and stares from across the room for a long time. I knew she wanted to speak with me, because at first she tried to, but then she gave up and I think everybody knew. Nobody in the office brought it up, but it was obvious they knew, judging from the tension in the air when we were around each other.

And if all of that wasn't enough, it didn't help that I was reminded of Supergirl pretty much every day. She was all over the news and it was literally in my job description to tweet about her when I could. Seeing her – Kara – in all of those photos, reading about how she was literally saving people's lives... it hurt. She didn't trust me enough to tell me about all of it. Was it something I'd said? An impression I gave that made her deem me untrustworthy?

I didn't know anymore. I just knew that by the end of the month, my heart ached more and more, craving for the arsehole that was Kara Danvers. I refused to admit it at first, but when I kept finding myself searching for the blonde around the office, I knew I'd finally accepted what had happened. I wanted her back. I missed her.

It took a while to find the guts to go forward with this, but when I did, I tried to find Kara at work. She wasn't at her desk and nobody had seen her around. I did a quick search around, calling her name, but nothing. Only, when I was on my way into the hallway, I found her standing by the coffee machine. She wasn't alone.

The new-ish guy, Mike or whatever, was stood with her, pretty close to her side, his hand resting on hers on the table.

I knew I had no right – I'd literally blown her off for a whole month – but my heart began to ache at the sight. Whatever they were talking about must have been important. She was staring at him like he had hung all the stars in the sky. Unless that's just what I saw, I wasn't sure. I just knew that I hated it.

The two of them turned around when they heard me call Kara's name and I froze, meeting Kara's eyes for the first time in a long time.

"Y/N?" she breathed out, surprise in her voice and expression.

I licked my lips, backing up. "Sorry, I– sorry. I left it too late. I'll go," I mumbled, my voice breaking.

"No, Y/N, wait!" she tried, but I'd already turned on my heel and speed-walked away.

I felt my eyes tear up like an idiot as I walked away. Of course she'd moved on. Why wouldn't she? I'd wasted her time.

"Y/N, please wait," her voice broke me from my self-pity, and she stopped in front of me, eyes searching mine. "Let me explain."

"I didn't mean to interrupt," I said, clearing my throat. "You don't need to explain anything, Kara. I– I made you wait too long without saying anything. You don't owe me anything." I sucked up a shaky breath and avoided her eyes. "I've gotta go, sorry."

I didn't give her chance to respond, not wanting to hear her comfort me out of pity or obligation, and instead pushed her out of the way before leaving abruptly.

I just felt like an idiot.

–

I sat at my kitchen counter and opened the pizza box, tucking in there and then instead of getting a plate. I was tired, upset and wished today was over with.

After seeing Kara with Mike earlier on, I felt embarrassed and couldn't wait for my day to be over with so I could sulk over a box of pizza. I guess I should have seen it coming, since I practically pushed her away and gave her no benefit of the doubt. I deserved it, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt any less.

As I was halfheartedly eating my pizza slice, I heard a knock on the door and groaned inwardly. I really couldn't be arsed with the company.

"Go away," I called out, hoping they'd take the hint.

"Y/N? It's me."

I groaned loudly this time, recognising the voice as Kara's. I paused, glancing at the door, debating whether to tell her to go away. But I realised I'd have to face her eventually, and she was way too stubborn to take my word and leave.

With a heavy sigh, I dropped my pizza slice into the box and wiped my hands on my jeans before going to answer the door. Kara was standing there with a small smile on her lips as I avoided her eyes, cheeks growing warm.

"Hey," she said softly.

I nodded awkwardly. "I– er– hi..." I swallowed hard, saying, "Look, if you're here about earlier today, I'm really sorry, Kara."

"No, you don't need to apologise," she was quick to reply. "It wasn't what you thought, I–"

"You don't need to explain," I cut her off, finally lifting my eyes to meet hers. I didn't want her to explain it. "It's your business. I shouldn't have assumed anything."

Her eyes softened as she clearly had more to say. "Can I come in? Please?"

I would have rather ended the conversation there, but the part of me that missed her deeply was telling me to let her in. Next thing I knew, I was stepping to the side and letting her come in, hoping she couldn't hear the racing heartbeat in my chest.

"Mike isn't just the new guy," she said when I closed the door. "His name is Mon-El. He's an alien."

"Kara–"

"He's an alien and I've been helping him to settle into living on Earth," she cut me off, continuing hurriedly. She held my gaze, not giving me chance to interrupt. "Supergirl has been helping him. That's all it is. That's all it'll ever be."

I pressed my lips together, nodding slightly to show her I understood. Her shoulders relaxed and I felt a bit more at ease now myself. She wasn't moving on. Or at least, not with him.

"I didn't know that because I pushed you away," I admitted, frowning. "I didn't give you a chance... I'm sorry."

"You don't need to apologise," she insisted, shaking her head.

I smiled sadly. "I get it could be too late, but–"

"It's not too late," she said quickly, eyes glistening with hope. "I... I was waiting."

I felt butterflies in my stomach as I felt my embarrassment return. "I needed time, that was it." I sighed to myself as I began to pace uncomfortably. "It was silly, really, how I didn't realise the truth. Everybody else knew and I... I should have known."

"Don't say that," she said, and I felt her hand grab my arm reluctantly. I stopped and faced her, seeing her shaking her head. "I didn't mean for you to feel like that. It wasn't your fault, Y/N, it was mine. I should have told you. I wanted to tell you."

I couldn't help but feel betrayed again. "But you didn't."

She let go of my arm and frowned. "It just happened that Winn was the first person I told. And James already knew because of Superman. And then I wanted to tell you next, but being Supergirl was hard at first. It was demanding. And being Kara with somebody who didn't expect anything more was nice. It was selfish, but I had you. And I wanted to tell you after, but I was scared. And once again, I was selfish because I knew I was falling in love with you and I didn't want to scare you away because of this lie."

I swallowed the lump in my throat as she searched my eyes for something.

"It got out of hand and I was in way too deep," she admitted regretfully. "You won't believe me, but I did want to tell you, Y/N. But now you know. And I know you hate me, but I wish you didn't because I am truly sorry I ever hurt you. I never wanted that."

"I don't hate you," I told her, eyes glassy with tears. "I don't think I could hate you even if I tried, Kara."

"I love you," she whispered, a tear slipping from her eye.

I couldn't stop myself as I pulled her in for a hug, squeezing her tight. I had missed her so much and to have her back in my arms was a blessing, even if it hurt me at the same time.

"I don't completely trust you right now," I muttered truthfully, before pulling away and holding her close.

"I understand," she said, nodding and sniffling.

"But I love you, too," I added, knowing that deep down I couldn't stop. "I want to be with you, Kara. You mean too much to me."

She seemed confused as she furrowed her eyebrows. "What does this mean?"

I swallowed the lump in my throat. "I'd like to start again, but go slow. I still care about you and seeing you with Mike– Mon-El– whatever, made me realise that I can't see you being with somebody else."

"I'll earn back your trust," she promised, tucking a strand of her behind my ear. "I never meant to hurt you."

"I know you didn't," I said, grabbing her hand and kissing it gently. "And I know you will."

She smiled through her tears and I felt my heart beating quickly again, glad I had her back. I moved forward for another hug, relaxing into her arms as she squeezed me comfortingly.

We'd get through this. She was still my happy ending, Supergirl or not.

#kara danvers x you #supergirl x you #supergirl imagine #supergirl x reader #kara danvers x reader #kara danvers imagine #supergirl #kara danvers #melissa benoist

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mochiable · 4 years ago

Text

— enough. (a)

REQUESTED — hello!! i really like your work and how you write. could i request a scenario about han jisung cheating on reader and her forgiving him every time but then she can’t stay with him anymore and they have a big fight? sorry if it’s so specific, but i think you’d do a great work with this! i’ll understand if you don’t want to do it though, have a nice day!

wc: 1.7k

warnings: toxic relationship, mentions of cheating, swearing, emotional pain

requests are open!

you were fed up. jisung kept shouting your name in the distance, but you didn't want to know any more, you didn't want to hear any more. you were tired of everyone taking you for a naïve fool who didn't realise what was going on around you. ‘poor thing, she has no idea he slept with five other girls’, ‘i feel so sorry for her, how come she's still with him?’ you didn't know, you really didn't know how you could still be with him. maybe they were all right, you were a sucker, but that was going to change, you weren't going to put up with any more humiliation, and much less coming from him.

as soon as you arrived at the flat you shared with your now ex-boyfriend, you locked yourself in your room and took your suitcase out of the wardrobe to start storing your most necessary belongings. you didn't know where you were going to go, you didn't want to bother anyone, but it was either that or sleep in the street or stay in a forty square metre flat with the person you least wanted to see right now. either of the first two options was better than the third one, anyways.

when you finished putting all your clothes away and headed to the bathroom to pick up your make-up and all your creams you heard the front door open loudly and as hurried footsteps followed by several curses headed towards the bedroom.

“what are you doing?” the dark-haired boy asked watching you from the bathroom door, looking through the mirror as you put all the products in your vanity case, hands trembling and clutching things tightly.

“dancing a tango, wanna be my partner?” you replied sarcastically, taking all the courage you had left and turning around to face him, “what the fuck do you think I'm doing, jisung? i’m leaving,” you spat angrily, moving towards the door and bumping your shoulder against his to walk back into the room.

“no, no, no,” he repeated, shaking his head repeatedly as he moved closer to you and tried to get your attention, “listen to me, please listen to me," he pleaded, reaching up to you and turning your face to his with his hands on your cheeks, “it’s not what it looks like, i swear.”

“isn't it? let me guess," you began, bringing your hands up to his and roughly pulling them away from your face, “was it her who kissed you? or maybe, oh, i know, you drank too much and couldn't control yourself?” you roared angrily, pushing him hard in the chest, pushing him two metres away from you, “fuck you, jisung! i’ve had it. you've done nothing but humiliate and despise me. fuck, why can't you take me seriously for once? am i a joke to you, huh? is that it? do you think i’m so deluded as to cheat on me not just once but five times? do you enjoy watching me being mocked and laughed at behind my back? ‘oh poor girl, her boyfriend cheats on her and she keeps chasing after him like an idiot because she can't stand on her own two feet’!”

at first, your age difference was the reason for thousands of messages and threats directed at you. you were only three years older than him, and he was already an adult, you didn't see the problem, you both loved each other, or so you thought. the comments soon went from ‘old predator whore’ to ‘dumb slutty little girl’. you had to put up with how they came on to your boyfriend, and how he did nothing, smiled and even flirted back. however, when a boy came up to you, he seemed to wake up and didn't hesitate to shoo him away.

“no, that's not true. please, y/n,” he came back to you with a desperate expression on his face, managing to cradle your cheeks again and wipe away the tears you hadn't realised were falling from your eyes, “of course i take you seriously, darling. you're my everything. they're lying, i swear, y/n. i’d never do that to you, you have to believe me.”

you pushed him away from you again, and ran your hands through your hair, tousling it and burying your face in your hands. the moment you looked up again, you found your face reflected in the small mirror of the canterano in the room. a haggard, weak, sultry face. you dropped onto the bed, you were exhausted and you knew that this argument had only just begun.

“enough, enough,” you murmured, holding back the sob that was about to escape your throat, “stop lying, just stop! you don't love me, jisung. you never have and you never will. why do you want to keep me here if all you do is make me suffer?”

“no, that’s not true. i do love you, y/n,” he replied softly, crouching down in front of you until his eyes were level with yours. he brought his hands to yours, but you pulled away and stood up again, laughing bitterly.

“you have a terrible way of loving then,” you said, turning around and reaching for your suitcase, but jisung was quicker and wouldn't let you.

“i’m not letting you leave, not without sorting this out,” he said resolutely, snatching the suitcase from you and setting it in a corner, “it’s after midnight, you're not going out at this hour.”

“so now you care? where were you all those times i had to come home alone in the middle of the night because my boyfriend preferred to cheat on me with someone else?” you asked, moving forward again to grab the suitcase, but he got in the way and grabbed your arm, pulling you away from your things. you tried to pull away, but you knew he wasn't going to let go until you two fixed this, so you decided to continue, “you don't have to worry, there's no one out there who's going to hurt me more than you. you can stay calm.”

“tomorrow you can leave if you want, but tonight you're staying, okay? i can't let you leave at this hour, i’m not gonna let you," the grip on your arm was beginning to intensify, but he released you immediately when he saw the expression of discomfort on your face. he unhesitatingly wrapped you in an embrace and pressed you against his body, stroking your hair and resting his head on top of yours, “please stay, love. stay with me tonight.”

“how many others have you told this to? huh? how many others have you told to stay the night with you?” you asked between whimpers against his chest, clutching the sides of his t-shirt tightly in helplessness, “you treat me like shit, you cheat on me, you humiliate me and then you have the balls to tell me you love me.”

jisung, seeing that his words were having the opposite effect to the one they were intended to have, lifted your face and brought it close to his. he brushed your noses in a gentle but subtle gesture and, caressing the lower part of your eyes, he leaned towards you until your lips made contact.

however, the butterflies in your belly that you once wished would never disappear had, indeed, died. none of them was left. because jisung, with his lies and deceit, had killed them off one by one. until the last one that had remained until tonight couldn’t stand it anymore and vanished just like her sisters, leaving an empty hole in your stomach that resembled the one you had in your heart.

still wide-eyed, you brought your hands to his, which rested on your cheeks, and lowered them. jisung gradually broke the contact of your lips, until finally he rested his forehead on yours and let out an agitated sigh.

“you’re staying, right?” he asked once he’d pulled away from your face, looking at you with sympathetic eyes. but you no longer believed anything, you no longer trusted him.

“what would i gain by staying, jisung? i can’t stand any more humiliation,” you answered with a broken voice, trying with all your might he wouldn’t see you cry again. you hated showing weakness in front of him at times like this. you felt that if you did, he’d won again and you were tired of losing.

“please, y/n, please. you can't do this to me,” he growled desperately when you pulled away from him and went to pick up your suitcase. he tried to catch you when he saw you walking towards the door, but you turned and raised your hand, putting it in front of his face and telling him to shut up.

“i can't do this to you? i’m not the one who sent our relationship to hell, jisung. you decided to flirt with other girls, you decided to make out with them and you alone decided to fuck them. you’re the only son of a bitch here, and i’m not going to put up with you treating me like rubbish anymore,” you finished, taking the keys off your key ring and leaving on the front porch the one that opened the flat that was no longer yours. then, you turned to him and started to memorize all the details of his face, before saying your last goodbye, “have a nice life, han jisung.”

you left that apartment putting an end not only to a relationship, but to a lifestyle that had been destroying you for months. you didn’t know how you were going to overcome everything that had happened, but what you were sure about was that you weren’t going to go back and, evidently, you weren’t going to let anyone else treat you as if you weren’t a human being.

jisung’s punishment would be to wake up and remember everything he had and everything he could have continued to have if he hadn’t screwed everything up. now, when he got home he’d only find a cold and empty apartment. but that didn’t compare to how you’d felt during the last months of your relationship, and now it was his turn to feel the worst that can come from a toxic relationship, helplessness and resentment.

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cocosstories · 3 years ago

Text

Sebastian Stan One Shot

Hi!!I had a Sebastian Stan request. Can you write something about the reader gets pneumonia, but they're not in the same place because both of them are shooting something. ?

It had started with a cough that just would not go away.

You had tried everything, tea, vitamins, syrups, nothing worked and despite your best efforts, you were getting worse.

Things had gotten so bad that production on your new movie had stopped and you were admitted to the hospital.

"You should really call Sebastian and let him know what's going on before he finds out from someone else."

Your assistant says.

You knew she was right. It wasn't fair for you to leave your boyfriend in the dark about your condition especially now that things had gotten worse.

You and Sebastian had been dating for over four years now and even though you were constantly working in different parts of the world, like now, you were making it work.

Grabbing your phone from your bag, you click on his contact and send a facetime request.

As you wait for him to answer, you adjust the nasal oxygen tube and fix your messy hair.

You knew you probably look about as good as you felt but there wasn't much you could do about it with the I.V.s and machines you were currently hooked up to.

"Hi ba-"

As soon as he answers the call and takes one look at you, worry fills his eyes.

"Baby, what's going on? Are you in the hospital?"

Sebastian had known from the minute the cough started that you were sick but you had let on just how bad it had gotten.

"Yeah, they brought me a few hours ago."

You stop to cough, your assistant handing you some water.

"I have pneumonia."

You finally get out once the coughing fit was over.

"Why didn't you tell me it got worse!"

"Seb, I'm alright."

"You're in the hospital! You didn't even tell me you were that sick!"

He was getting so upset and honestly, you couldn't really blame him.

"I didn't think I was. I thought it was just a cough. I'm sorry babe, I just didn't want you to worry too much since we are so far apart."

That was mostly true, the other part of it being, you knew if he knew how bad it had gotten, he would have tried to fly out to you and he couldn't do that.

"I'm coming to see you."

"You're shooting a movie!"

Another coughing fit hits and you drop the phone to your lap as you try to get it under control.

"I don't care! I will figure it out but you need me right now."

You hear him say.

"Babe, please. I have plenty of people here to take care of me and I promise we will keep you fully updated the whole time. You can't shut down your whole movie because I'm sick."

He sighs, knowing you're right.

"I want hourly updates. Even just a quick text. No matter what time and as soon as we get a break here, I am coming to see you. I don't care if it's just for a day. And never keep something like this from me ever again."

He says as sternly as he can.

"I promise."

You say quickly.

"I promise too."

Your assistant leans in and says.

"Ok. Good. Now please, get some rest and do everything the doctors say. I need you to get better because the thought of you laying in a hospital bed that sick is killing me."

You nod.

"I will baby. Don't worry, the doctors will have me back to my old self before you know it. I love you."

You give him a small smile, your eyes getting heavy as the medicine begins to kick in.

"I love you too beautiful."

He replies, staying on the call for a few extra minutes as he watches you fall asleep.

#Sebastian Stan One Shot #Sebastian Stan x reader #Sebastian Stan #Cocos stories

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danny-chase · 3 years ago

Text

Warnings: violence, blood, realism in comics, me mentioning things stans want to ignore to make a point, you don't have to consider them canon, I'm just making a point don't hurt me

Right. Been seeing dialog about Jason's decision to give up guns that i feel is missing a few points.

1. Bruce is traumatized by guns. Yeah he jumps in the line of fire every night but that doesn't mean he isn't scared of/triggered by them:

[Image ID: Oracle!Babs and Robin!Tim roll/walk through the clocktower. Babs: (about guns) Hates them. But doesn't fear them. Tim: Not the way he jumps in the line of fire night after night. Babs: Line of fire... Babs: I was afraid of them for a long time. I'd go faint at the sight of a gun on TV. Tim: You have reasons, Barbara. So does Batman. Babs: But I. worked through them. Babs: Maybe Bruce hasn't. Maybe he's not the rock we thought he was. Tim: He bought a gun as therapy? Babs: Look at the facts. He bought it just like any other citizen. Like he wanted to experience it as someone else would. Tim: I don't think- Computer: Keyword media search alert. Tim: What's that? End ID]

Birds of Prey (1998) #40

Bruce's opposition of guns is partially based in trauma - it's not completely a moral stance or completely logical rule. Jason giving up guns is for himself, but it allows him to be closer to Bruce and for Bruce to be more relaxed in his presence -> can make their relationship closer.

2. [X] weapon isn't even lethal. Getting cut/hurt + no health care = possible death from infection -> shooting a henchman with regular bullets in the foot can be lethal. Or cutting them with a batarang.

[Image ID: A girl walks home getting off the school bus. Girl: "Mama, I know you don't want to hear this, but --" She opens the door to an empty run down house. Girl: "Mama? Mama are you --?" She opens up the bathroom door, revealing her mother sweating and bleeding out on the ground, trying to press a towel to a wound on her side. Her mom is wearing a henchman outfit for the H.I.V.E. Girl: "Mama!" Mom: "Why -- Why are you home so soon?" The girl holds her mom in a sitting position. Girl: "This isn't the flu. You said you had the flu." Mom: "I -- I will be better soon. I just need to rest." Girl: "You need a hospital, mama." Mom: "No. If they find out -- they'll take you away from me. Send me back to Guatemala." The final panel shows a wisp of Ravens cape, the view zoomed out. Girl: "I know you want to protect me, but you need help now -- no matter what happens later." Raven: "Maybe I can help." End ID]

Titans: Titans Together #4

Similarly could ppl stop acting like rubber bullets are non lethal, everything the batfam uses can be lethal and cause scenes like above. Literally none of them can claim moral high ground they've all thrown batarangs in people's faces (off the top of my head, Jason nailed Dick with one in the face in BoC and Bruce got Jason in the neck in UTRH so there's the two characters at odds).

3. Jason/Bruce has never hurt an undeserving person. Jason isn't a mass murderer and you're slandering him. Bruce is the best dad ever you're an idiot for thinking otherwise.

...did you miss the times he tried to kill Tim? Or sprayed Dick with fear gas? Or shot Damian in the chest (not rubber bullets mind you). All of this happened in Battle of the Cowl. He poisoned 82 prisoners indiscriminately in Batman and Robin (2009) #23, went around killing random "thugs" in Brothers in Blood arc of Nightwing. Is it slander if he did it? Idk. If anyone can answer that lmk but everything is canon now so the point is moot.

And let me also say if everythings canon Bruce has also hurt/hit/abused his family (i don't have the specific issue numbers but runs that I've seen bad dad Bruce in are The New Titans, Batgirl (2000), Nightwing (1996), Tom Kings crap, RHATO rebirth, etc. I don't feel like going into detail but if hard pressed i will) don't try to paint me as a Bruce or Jason apologist/hater please

Also literally see the panel above 💀 the mom is an undocumented immigrant from Guatemala with an engineering degree she can't use because the US gov is literally fucking flaming garbage, so she had to take that job to provide for her daughter. Quit thinking extrajudicial murder/vigilantism is a woke take. No. Stop. Bad. Criminals have rights for a reason.

Can you choose to call the above things Jason and Bruce have done ooc and bad writing. Yep. Go ahead, be my guest. Just it's weird to me that ppl always seem to do it for one character and not the other. Like... that's not productive dialogue? And yeah both Jason and Bruce stans do this i just happened to see a post from a Jason stan so he got to be shamed first. If you think i think my fave is wrong, i literally made a post publically shaming him at one point, and wrote an entire fic dedicated to me pointing out why i think characters would hate him the most 🤷‍♀️ if someone read a comic that shows your fave in a bad light don't call them stupid for not liking that character just point them in the right direction and if you don't want to. Don't. Just block them. I'm tired of watching ppl act like their better than each other because they don't consider things canon (unless you stan a minority character and don't consider their racist/sexist writing canon in which case, same, you're the best ppl in this fandom)💀 or referencing fanon as canon and telling ppl to go read more comics 💀

Anyways the takeaways I've come out with are, this debate between the two is more than just morals, they've both wronged each other, and trying to simplify it down into victim and abuser is just - missing nuance and ignoring their full histories in my opinion and kinda just ends up flattening both characters and making both of them less relatable

#this post was brought to you by: I'm tired of seeing dumb takes on my reccomend dash #*screeches into the void* the whole batfam is problamatic it's literally fine #personally my take is jason giving up guns is ooc he's too dramatic for that shit #time to make the stans go brr #here we go have my unsolicited opinions #batfam #bruce wayne #jason todd #violence #blood #child abuse #negativity

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itsclydebitches · 3 years ago

Note

Hey there! Admittedly I'm a little bit nervous since this is my first ask, but I'll try to not be too rambly.

So, recently the main subreddit, r/RWBY, made a ban on active users of the r/RWBYcritics subreddit. As a result there's been discussion around bad-faith criticism in the latter subreddit. What are your takes on bad-faith criticism?

For me personally, I think a bunch of people are misusing the term "bad-faith" and using it as a way to shut down criticism, but I'm curious to hear your thoughts on it.

Hey there, everyone! We woke up to some drama this morning, huh? And hello to you too, Tortoise! I'm so glad you decided to send in an ask, even if it's following some pretty tumultuous events...

Right, I'd like to start with a story. The story of how I personally don't spend time on Reddit, but I have plenty of friends who will occasionally cross-post something for me to see. Yesterday (or the day before? Idk time is meaningless) a friend told me about a post — which, significantly, I'm now having trouble finding — that covers RWBY's inconsistent writing and the fandom's tendency to try and explain away those missteps. They'd thought I'd be interested because I'd just had a conversation here on tumblr where I made that exact point to someone who, also significantly, vehemently disagreed with me, but in a very civil fashion. Given everything going on, I feel like this side point needs emphasis: we debated, we did so in a sometimes heated, but nevertheless respectful manner, it was clear neither of us was going to sway the other, and the conversation ended. The two "sides" of the community interacted without Armageddon coming about.

But back to the purpose of this tale. I went to take a look at this point and found that it no longer exists. There's just some vague message about it not obeying the subreddit's rules. "What happened?" I asked. "Why'd they take the post down?" "People were getting too heated in the comments," my friend replies. So, given that the comments were still visible, I proceeded to read through them, expecting personal attacks, slurs, harassment, etc. Any number of things that would justify deleting the post itself to put an end to such behavior. Instead, I found a thread of people having a conversation. Was the conversation heated at times? Sure. Did one or two individual posters edge into the realm of petulant, "No. You're wrong and stupid" responses? Yes. Was any of this remotely what I was expecting given the post's removal? NOPE.

"This isn't allowed?" I said. "Well then what is? People were being civil! Or at least as civil as hundreds of strangers ever get when discussing a series they're passionate about online."

Then, this morning, I hear that the entire critic subreddit has been banned.

So to answer your question, Tortoise, I don't actually think that "good faith" criticism exists. Meaning, it's not just that fans are misusing the term "bad faith criticism," but rather that there is no unified, agreed up method of writing criticism that will meet their standards. It's not possible and we know it's not possible because fans have been trying to meet those elusive standards for years:

A fan posts nothing but praise for RWBY until changes make them criticize the show as it is now. Their entire body of work is dismissed as the product of a "hater," despite the overwhelming gap between positive and negative reviews.

A fan posts a review that's a pretty balanced mix between praise and criticism. They're dismissed because it's still too much criticism.

A fan posts a review that's 99% praise with 1% criticism. That's still too much, with fans focusing on the single problem they had with the work and using it as an excuse to dismiss the entire review out of hand.

(As an aside, the argument that critics are "obsessed" with only saying negative things and that the only problem here is that they're "too" negative ignores the argument that... RWBY has a lot of flaws nowadays. Few are willing to acknowledge the possibility that it's not fans insisting on making things up to be mad about/ignoring the good parts of the show, it's the that show is, as of now, legitimately more of a mess than it is a praise-worthy product. If I'd been writing recaps in the Volumes 1-4 days, my work would have been skewed far more towards the positive. The critics' stance is that RWBY has gotten worse, which yes, results a higher volume of critical posts. To say nothing of how criticism takes far longer to explain, likewise resulting in posts focused primarily on that side of the divide. I really enjoyed the image of a crying Jaune reflected in his sword. I did not enjoy that moment's context. Saying that you liked an animation choice is a one sentence thing. Explaining the complexities of Jaune securing emotional moments, the problems with Penny's second death, the hurt many fans experienced watching an assisted suicide, etc. takes a whooole lot longer. Hence, you get massive, multiple posts about these nuanced topics and fewer, smaller posts about the details that are working well.)

A fan talks about a topic that has been metaphorically banned by the fandom as a whole. They have something good to say about Ironwood. They dislike something about Blake/Yang. They enjoyed Adam as a character. They have a problem with Ruby's leadership, etc. There's a whole list of topics nowadays that will result in an automatic dismissal, regardless of the point the fan is trying to make or how well they make it.

A fan talks about the minority representation of RWBY — its black characters, its queer characters, its disabled characters, etc. — and as a result has something to say about the biases and missteps of those writing these characters. This is considered an attack on the writers and, therefore, automatically bad.

A fan talks about how they enjoyed RWBY as it was years ago and is having trouble reconciling the dark, complicated story with the simple, hopeful one we started out with. This is seen as an attack on Monty's vision and an unwillingness to accept that "everything is planned."

A fan does as asked and ensures that their post is meeting all the requirements of "real" criticism. They have an argument to make. They have a point. They provide evidence. They recommend a solution. They keep their tone respectful. They don't attack the creators. They provide disclaimers in every single paragraph about how they do not hate RWBY. It doesn't matter. They're considered too negative.

I have, quite literally, seen every one of the above examples on multiple occasions. I have had many of the above accusations leveled at my own work. When fans say that they're fine with criticism provided it's not "bad faith" criticism, they don't actually have a specific post-type in mind; a checklist of behaviors another fan can emulate and, provided they do that, no hate will come their way. Or, if an individual fan does actually go, "Yeah. That criticism I'm fine with" that response is in no way universal. One person's "They make a good, civil point" is another person's, "Omg stop bashing the show!" Because "bashing" has come to mean everything from curse-laden insults towards everything RWBY has ever done, to posts that just happen to say something other fans don't agree with.

It's a rigged game. There is no way to post criticism about RWBY in an agreed-upon, appropriate manner. This recent ban is proof of that. I think it's incredibly telling that almost immediately after I was going, "Wow. A pretty calm debate about the flaws of RWBY in the main sub. That's great to see," all posters from the criticism subreddit were banned. The main sub literally just had the sort of criticism that they claim to accept — people respectfully posting analysis-based arguments resulting in calm debate — and yet they implemented the ban anyway. I'm not going to pretend that I've never gotten too heated on my own posts, never made snarky comments when I'm frustrated, never used exaggerated reaction GIFs that can come across as insulting... but I'd say on the whole my RWBY work is precisely the sort of "good faith" criticism that other fans are supposedly looking for. I never make an argument I don't think I can back up with evidence. I try to allow for the nuance and differing opinions of complicated topics. I try — even if I don't always succeed — to write in a clear, respectful manner. Yet none of that work has stopped people from telling me I'm a "bitter... raging asshole," a "deranged, delusional psychopath," telling me to set myself on fire, threatening to smash my head in, or just messages to straight up kill myself. If someone like me who legitimately works hard to create fair, defendable criticism and who only ever posts on a personal blog that people can easily block, who never engages in debate until someone else starts it first, never seeks out other fans I disagree with to harass them about what they like... if someone like me is still a "bad faith" critic who "deserves" that kind of hate mail... then what kind of criticism do people want?

Nothing. That's the answer. No criticism whatsoever, of any kind, no matter if it's delivered respectfully, is making a good point, whatever. That's why "RWDE" was created. That's why the critic subreddit was created. The community at large has demanded a complete separation between Praise and Anything That's Not 100% Praise, which has now resulted in this ban. Any other explanations we see are excuses, which becomes glaringly obvious when you look at the mods' supposed reasons for implementing the ban:

"Constant arguments with r/RWBY users" - As opposed to the arguments surrounding things like shipping that never, ever happen?

"Vote manipulation and comment brigades" - The subreddit with 3,000 participants, with around 200 on at a time, is manipulating the votes of a subreddit with 155,000 participants, with over 1,000 on at a time? Those numbers just do not check out. If a positive post is downvoted, or a critical post upvoted, maybe that's because large swaths of the community actually agree/disagree with that assessment, not because the incredibly smaller group is somehow manipulating things.

"Attacking and harassing those they disagree with" — Again, as opposed to those non-critics that never, ever harass people? This is an individual problem, not a community problem. Both critics and non-critics have their sub-groups acting in ways they shouldn't. If anything, the main sub will have more individuals harassing other fans, simply by virtue of being so much larger. As the above examples attest, it's not other critics who have told me to light myself on fire and, just to be clear, the asks I've responded to are a miniscule number compared to the amount I've received. I delete the lion's share for my own sanity and to save my followers from reading the really graphic threats.

"Months-long NSFL spam brigades" — I am, admittedly, not sure what this is referring to. Spamming of NSFW content? If so, that's also an individual problem.

"Homophobic, transphobic, and racist attacks towards our users" — See the above points. Again. If someone is being homophobic, transphobic, or racist, then yes please, ban them. Don't ban an entire community for the actions of a few. It's like walking into a store and banning a customer for causing a scene... but then also banning everyone else who happened to be shopping at the same time. It's guilt by association.

The silver lining to all this? The community as a whole isn't pleased. At least according to the main subreddit comments and a few individual voices like MurderofBirds. Despite the increase (from my perspective anyway) of critical voices post-Volume 8, criticism of RWBY is still very much seen as taboo. As this ban showcases. But it's really reassuring to see so many fans, critics and non-critics alike, going, "This was a mistake." A community is meant to include all aspects of engagement: praise, criticism, and the gray area between. If anything, fans like the mods of the main subreddit should be creating a separate subreddit that is specifically for praise. In the same way that there should have been a tag for RWBY praise, rather than trying to eliminate any and all criticism from the main "RWBY" tag. The majority of fans, even those who claim to hate critics and all they (presumably) stand for, recognize that a blanket ban of all criticism is not the way to go, especially when "criticism" has come to have such a staggeringly broad definition. If you want your RWBY experience to be nothing but sunshine and roses (ha), then cultivate your own internet experience to reflect that. Create your own pockets with rules about how this is the space for praise and if you're not up for praising RWBY right now, don't interact with us in this particular space. Don't try to make the entire community — the main tools used to discuss the show online — conform to your preferences. As established, there is no "good" criticism that everyone in the fandom will accept, which just leaves a fandom with no criticism at all. I'm glad to see I'm far from the only one who, when presented with that extreme, is going, "Nope. No thank you."

#rwby #mymetas #suicide tw #rwde

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farfromsugafanfic · 4 years ago

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Sutures - Chapter Five: Murmurs

Genre: Soulmates AU, Idiots to Lovers, slight Enemies to Lovers

Pairing: Yoongi/Named Reader

Warnings (chapter specific): mentions of family illness, a disgusting amount of fluff

Synopsis: “A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it.” –Jean de la Fontaine

There was only one thing you and Min Yoongi had in common that night. You were both brokenhearted. You only intended to be together for one night, but when you both end up in the hospital the next day you discover that you are soulmates. It could kill you to be apart. As you and Yoongi attempt to sever the bond between you, will another be formed?

Previous | Series Masterlist | Next

"Sumi!" Jungkook called. "Can you do us a favor?"

Jungkook and Jimin stood outside your door. You could tell they were up to something based on the smirk on their faces.

You had been quietly knitting, trying to forget the events of earlier that day with Minki and what happened in the backseat with Yoongi. You still felt Yoongi's lips on your stomach, soft, yet, demanding. He hadn't managed to leave any marks this time, which you were grateful for, but part of you wished you could have a reminder of the secret between you.

"What?" you asked.

"Yoongi was going to wake up at four to help us with the production on the new song. And it's almost four thirty now. Can you wake him up for us?"

You glanced at the two boys who while they seemed mischievous, seemed genuinely like they didn't want the task of having to wake up Yoongi.

"Why can't you do it?" you asked, putting aside the hat you were currently working on.

"He'll be nicer to you," Jungkook said. "He's grumpy when he wakes up."

You laughed slightly. "All right, fine."

You followed the two boys towards Yoongi's bedroom. You hadn't stepped foot in his bedroom yet, having only been in his studio. You opened the door slowly and tiptoed towards the bed where the boy's form was curled up asleep. Despite being taller than you, when he slept he made himself look so small, his knees curled up towards his chest and his arms around a pillow.

"Yoongi," you said, lightly shaking his shoulder. "The boys said you wanted to get up at four. It's four thirty."

You hear an annoyed groan and before you could protest, Yoongi dropped the pillow and pulled you onto the bed, his arms wrapped tightly around your waist. He rested his chin on your shoulder and you felt the soft scratch of his barely there facial hair.

"Sleep with me," he whispered, his hot breath tickling your ear.

You reached up to the pillow above you and threw it back towards him, hearing it hit with a solid thud.

"Fuck you." You attempted to squirm from his grasp, your legs kicking the covers and his legs. Yet, he never loosened his grip.

"Already have," he whispered, his voice husky. You felt his smirk against your shoulder blades and for a moment you thought he would begin kissing you again. But, as you reached for another pillow, his arms released from around you.

You got up from the bed and walked out of his room, his scent clinging to your clothes. You stopped to glance at Jungkook and Jimin who stood by the door, wide eyed at what they witnessed. You could only imagine what it looked like to them: Yoongi pulling you onto the bed and kissing you as you playfully tried to push him away.

"I see why no one likes waking him up."

The two boys awkwardly nodded and walked into Yoongi's bedroom, shutting the door behind them.

You couldn't help but laugh slightly at the boy's assumptions before walking back towards your bedroom at the end of the hall.

---

You hadn't spoken to your parents since before the night you and Yoongi met. You didn't call much due to the long distance charges to the US, but you figured you needed to update them about everything.

"Hello?" your mom answered the phone. "Sumi?"

"Hi mom," you said. "How's everything?"

"Good, busy as always. But, don't worry about us, how is my daughter?"

"Well, there's a lot that's happened since I talked to you last."

You explained the situation, careful not to tell your mom too much. You knew if you explained that you'd had a one night stand your mom would be disappointed and scold you. Despite being an ocean away in California, your mother still managed to make you feel like you were a fifteen-year-old again who got caught sneaking out.

"Oh, I'm so happy you finally got rid of Minki," your mother said. "I never liked him. And I can't wait to meet this soulmate of yours, what did you say his name was again?"

---

"Min Yoongi," Yoongi heard as he walked towards your room on the way to the bathroom. He stopped, noticing the small crack in your door. He wondered if you had managed to see him in the hallway, but as he approached he noticed that you were pacing around your room.

"No, mom, don't Google..." You sighed and pinched the bridge of your nose. "I get it, mom," you said laughing. "He's cute."

You didn't talk for a moment, but you cutely chewed on your bottom lip which made Yoongi want to replace your teeth with his own. He pushed back the thought as you spoke again.

"Well, we all agreed it would be best for me to move in with his band so that his career wouldn't be affected and I could continue working online or once things get better do in-person sessions."

You went silent again. Yoongi couldn't hear what your mother was saying because she was speaking so quickly.

"I know, mom," you said. "I'll be careful. The only trouble we've had has been with Minki. His fans don't know."

Yoongi's stomach turned. Guilt.

"At first, I wanted to go along with what the doctor's said and do the relationship, but I'm glad we didn't now. It may be harder for a while, but we barely knew each other and asking one another to put in effort to a relationship neither one of us wanted didn't make sense."

Despite your words being Yoongi's rationale, they felt so harsh coming from your mouth. He was glad the arrangement had become easier for you, but there was part of him that felt disappointed.

---

"How's grandma?" you asked, once your mom had finally calmed down about Yoongi. She had taken it better than you expected her to, however, you were slightly worried she was expecting grandchildren any day.

"Good," your mom answered. "The doctors say her treatment is going well. As they say, no news is good news."

You sigh, wishing you could be in the US with your family, but you stayed behind to go to school and by the time you finished, you already had a life you didn't want to leave in Korea. You visited as often as you and your parents could afford, but that was normally only at the holidays.

You had no siblings and many of your parent's siblings were also in the US or in Busan. Seoul was a lonely city, but you made it work.

"All right, well take care of her and yourself, okay, mom? And tell dad I miss him."

You ended the call after you both said your goodbyes. You sighed in relief at having finally explained the situation to your family, but you couldn't help the worry that formed in your stomach. You were normally able to suppress the constant worry about your grandmother, but every time you talked to your mom it always seemed to worsen.

---

Yoongi stepped away from your door once you hung up, so he wouldn't be discovered. He felt a small pang of guilt from eavesdropping, but your door was open and you had been talking about him. He pushed it away, knowing it really didn't matter.

He walked back to his studio and sat down at his desk, Jungkook and Jimin listening to their vocals. He wondered what was up with your grandma, while it didn't seem out of place to ask how she was doing, the way your brow had furled and the way you chewed your lip nervously made him think that there was something else going on.

"Yoongi?" Jimin asked, taking off his headphones. "Everything okay?"

Yoongi shook himself out of it.

"Yeah," he said. "Sorry, not awake yet."

---

"Sumi," Namjoon said, knocking politely on your bedroom door. "Do you want to come and help me work out some lyrics?"

You looked at the leader in somewhat disbelief, your eyes wide and your lips pursed.

"Me?" you asked. "Wouldn't one of the boys be better?"

"Maybe," he said. "But, it's not often we get a perspective of someone outside of the industry, and you've been in your room since you got back. I know it was tough to face your ex and thought you might like some company."

You smiled, Namjoon was so perceptive, you wondered if he could read your mind. You realized how much easier it would be if you were his soulmate instead of Yoongi's. Namjoon understood you and always seemed to know how to make you feel better.

"You can bring your project with you," he said, leaving towards his studio and leaving the door open for you.

You followed the leader to his studio, which had fewer obstacles to enter than Yoongi's. Although, once you entered it was largely similar. A simple design with a few decorations and various awards hung on the wall.

He pulled up a chair beside him and motioned for you to sit down beside him. You sat down and looked over all the equipment on his desk. A normal desktop with multiple monitors, other things you didn't recognize, like a machine with various knobs and switches, and a microphone.

You remembered seeing most of the same equipment in Yoongi's studio, except he had a keyboard he kept in the center of everything. The black and white keys almost taking over the room.

Namjoon opened up a notebook with various notes in it. You even noticed a few notes in English, making you smile and remember that the two of you shared the language in common.

"How'd you get into music?" you asked in English.

"I always liked music," he said, also responding in English. "I read a lot and eventually it translated into writing. I don't know, it all just kind of happened naturally."

You smiled, noting the way his face lit up as he talked about his passion, his dimples appearing on his cheeks.

"I understand," you said. "I always liked to teach people when they learned that I speak English. I should've charged when I was in high school for all the tutoring I did, but I enjoyed it enough that I didn't care."

"What about knitting?" he asked.

"I was always crafty," you said, laughing. "Whenever I visited my grandmother in the US, she always had a knitting project and she talked about how it calmed her, made her realize she had more control over her fate than she believed. She used to tell me stories about the Fates in Greek mythology and how knitting made her feel like one." You looked down at your project--a black hat. "So, whenever I feel out of control, I knit. Sometimes, I don't even know what I'm making until it's finished."

You quickly bound off the yarn and slapped the finished hat on Namjoon's head, giggling. You expected him to take it off immediately and hand it back, but instead, he used the nearest computer monitor to adjust it so it sat over his hair attractively.

"It looks nice," you said.

---

The two of you worked in comfortable silence, the hat you made still sitting on Namjoon's dyed hair. You'd started a new hat with the same black yarn. You wondered if he had a girlfriend to give it to. You and Minki always used to wear matching hats or scarfs or gloves. He took whatever you made him wholeheartedly. They were probably still sitting in the top drawer of his dresser. You wished you could unravel the yarn and turn them back into a tangled ball of string.

Namjoon would occasionally run a line past you or hum a melody without realizing. You even found yourself humming the same melody back to him and when you did, he always shot you a small smile.

"Let's see what fans think of my new hat," he said, taking a selfie with his phone.

"Wait! Don't post that! Won't they think you have a girlfriend or something?"

He gave you an odd look before looking down at the picture.

"Does Yoongi have you that paranoid? If anyone questions it, I'll just say a fan made it," he said. "Not exactly a lie."

Your shoulders slumped realizing the easy solution. It was true that since the shoe incident, you were scared to be visible in the boys' lives. Their careers meant more to them than it did to you. You could be an English tutor nearly anywhere and no one could take knitting from you, but their music could be taken from them. You didn't want to be the reason they lost their passions.

"Come on," he said. "I have to go run this past Yoongi. You're welcome to come along."

You followed Namjoon to Yoongi's studio, taking your yarn and knitting needles with you. Namjoon rang the doorbell to Yoongi's studio and you had to stop yourself from laughing at the ritual of it all.

Yoongi came and opened the door. He greeted Namjoon and while he seemed slightly surprised to see you, held the door open to you.

"She's great to bounce lyrics off," Namjoon said. "Surprised you haven't picked up on that yet."

You sat down on the couch in the back of the studio while the two boys discussed the lyrics and the song. You took the opportunity to go on Twitter, seeing the picture of Namjoon in the hat. All of the fans complimented him, telling him he looked cute and demanding he go to bed because it was late. You smiled, hoping that if the fans ever found out about you, they would have similar reactions.

You went back to knitting, but couldn't help and look up when you heard the sound of the piano. Yoongi was playing the melody Namjoon had been humming earlier and you were impressed by his ability to translate the hums into notes so quickly.

His fingers slide over the keys naturally--the keys an extension of his fingers--much like the needles you held. Yoongi was serious, but unlike his normal seriousness which was grumpy or sexy (depending on the day), this time he was focused. His lips slightly pouted and his body relaxed.

Music for him was the knitting to you. It was the creation that helped you escape yourself to feel the smoothness of the keys or the needles beneath your fingers and trust that something beautiful would come from it.

---

You had fallen asleep by the time Yoongi and Namjoon had finished; still occasionally moving your fingers, trying to knit in your sleep. Yoongi smiled, remembering the times he woke up in the studio seeing the notes he'd unknowingly composed while he was asleep.

"Do you want me to wake her up?" Namjoon asked.

"No," Yoongi said, shaking his head. "Let's not disturb her."

Namjoon nodded, grabbing his notebook and leaving the room. He closed the door softly so he wouldn't wake you.

Yoongi looked down at your sleeping form. It seemed he'd seen you sleeping nearly as much as he'd seen you awake since the first time you met. The night you spent together, you'd fallen asleep first, cuddling into his side. Normally, he wasn't the cuddling type, at least not with a girl he'd just met, but seeing the lipstick smeared across your pouty lips and your tangled hair spread out across the pillow, he hadn't been able to resist.

He grabbed your knitting needles and yarn, setting them on the edge of his desk, within your sight so you could easily find them in the morning. It wasn't the first time he'd moved your knitting needles, for something you loved so much, you often left them laying around. Yoongi opened the bottom drawer of his desk where he kept a blanket for when his studio was cold or when he fell asleep while working.

He covered your form before shutting off the light and leaving the room quietly.

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wickedw3asleys · 4 years ago

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MINEFIELDS - Pt.1

George Weasley x Reader

WARNINGS: mentions of death, trauma, mental instability, depression, ptsd... emotional scenes, basically almost angst but not too much...

AN: hello everyone! so i finally got the time to finish writing the first part of my second serie! (i know i haven't finished my Just Like Heaven one but i have adhd bare with me) and i'm pretty excited about this one since it's not going to be a specific genre like fluff or smut, it'll just be a mini fic, so i hope you'll like it!!🥰

☆:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::☆

The Battle of Hogwarts and Fred's premature death was a huge heartbreak for everybody. The ones you once were close to in school were now almost strangers to you. It was sad, pretty sad actually, but none of you got out the same from Hogwarts, and for you, you were still living the trauma and pain of fighting for your life and seeing your friends die, even 4 years later; never being able to fully heal.

You thought that forcing yourself to move on the second you got out of Scotland would help you, but in vain. It was hard for you to completely move on, and the only one that kept you company was Dean, your old Gryffindor friend, who happen to be now your long term boyfriend. He was the only one that was still there after all; not even Harry, Ron, Ginny or Neville bothered in keeping in touch... The only one that sent you a letter from time to time was Hermione. You found yourself writing to her as a sort of therapy, even though you did it once every three or four months. But she was there, somehow...

You learned from her the first year that her and Ron got in a relationship, finally after all these years of being chasing each other; Harry and Ginny were still together; even Luna was now in a happy and healthy relationship, but she couldn't keep you updated about the others.

The part that broke your heart the most was when she first mentioned Molly and Arthur in her letters; after the loss of their son they weren't the same, of course they were still the Weasleys you all once knew, but they were "empty", as Hermione described. Molly, still to this day, would put an extra plate at the family table, expecting to see Fred join them for dinner; and Arthur would spend more and more time in his office, trying to get his mind distracted.

And then George... For the first year he refused to look at himself in the mirror. He wouldn't sleep or eat properly. The day Fred died, a part of him died too, not as twins, but as individual too, and everybody saw it.

When Hermione told you about the hell George had had to go through during these 4 years, you couldn't help but hate yourself deeply for not being next to him and helping him going through that.

"Sometimes I find myself talking to Ronald and Ginny about him, we are all very concerned about him and his health, still to this day... After all, he did not only lost his twin that day... He also lost you..."

Fred, George and you were always together in your school days, since your first day at Hogwarts, even though they were a year older than you. You were always there for them and they were always there for you, always you three, through heaven and hell. You couldn't agree more with Hermione's words, and you hated yourself for that. You had been selfish, not being able to stand by George's side and not giving him any sign of life. At the time, you thought that it would be better for both of you to just disappear, but after all these years, you were completely regretting that decision.

"Sweetheart... Hermione wrote...", Dean says, entering your bedroom, handing you a folder piece of paper, "Are you okay?"

You were once again lost in your thoughts, always the same ones, but Dean always knew how to help you come back to reality. You appreciated that of him, never showing and ounce of pressure or frustration towards you, and you loved him. But you weren't sure if that was truly love or if you were just thankful for him being there... And it was a thought that was slowly killing you inside.

"Huh?", you shook your head, chasing all these intrusive thoughts from it, "Yeah, I'm okay... Let's see what she has to tell me today..."

Dean warmly smiled at you and placed a soft kiss on your forehead, "Okay, tell me if you need anything, alright?"

You nodded and opened the paper the moment he left the room.

"My dearest Y/N,

I hope you are doing well. Everything is great here, we are all doing good. Nothing much has changed, except for Harry and Ginny speaking of engagement... I was supposed to keep it secret because it is not entirely confirmed yet but I couldn't help myself from getting excited over it! A good new like this one is what we all need right now...

That is why I am writing to you, I was thinking about making a reunion... A family reunion... After all these years I think it is finally time to get together and talk around a good dinner... As we used to do... I think it would be great for everyone and Molly is already so excited to have you back home, she misses you so much, Y/N... We all mis you...

I hope I get your response soon...

Your dear friend,

Hermione."

You put the letter on your desk and sighed deeply. You knew one day you would have to go back to the Burrow and see everybody again, and you wanted too. You wanted to feel like home again, feel everybody's love and affection again. You truly had missed all that, but after second thoughts, you weren't sure it was a good idea...

Hermione said everybody was missing you, but was that true? Did they all want to see you? Or do they actually still hate you for leaving? You didn't want to face Ginny's, Harry's or Molly's gaze when you get there, you would be too ashamed of it...

"I think you should go...", Dean says after you explained the letter to him, "It's been 4 years, Y/N... You need to see them as much as they need to see you..."

"I know... But what if they hate me...", you say with a small voice.

"They don't hate you", your boyfriends take your hands in his, "I'm sure they've missed you. You practically lived there when we were in school... And you were always with Fred and George..."

The mention of Fred's name made your whole body shiver. It has been a long time since you've heard his name falling out of someone's mouth, and you could feel your heart drop at the sound of it.

"I miss them... So much...", you start tearing.

"I know, sweetheart, I know...", Dean pulls you in a tight hug, never letting you down and holding onto you for dear life.

"You really think I should go?", you ask a few minutes later.

"I do... I don't like the idea of leaving you alone but I think it would be better if you went by yourself... Next time I'll go with you"

"Are you sure?"

"Completely...", he smiled.

The days that followed Hermione's letter, you had sent your positive response to her and started packing your things for the few days you were going to spend at the Burrow. Hermione had told you that the only one aware of your visit was Molly of course, but it would be a total surprise for the rest, that information only making you more nervous.

The D-day came up more quick than you've had thought, but there you were, now standing in the middle of your living room, saying your goodbyes to Dean, surrounded by your bags.

"Good luck... Everything is going to be okay...", he says, leaving the last small peck on your lips.

You warmly smiled to him and in a second, you apparated on the field in front of the Burrow.

You could feel your eyes already water at the sight of it. It was like nothing had changed, and even after all the thing that house had been through, it looked the same as it did the first time you stayed there.

The smell of rain and wet grass filling your nostrils and the sound of the wind and early birds only made you more nostalgic. Damn you had missed this place. It was home, you were home.

After a moment trying to compose yourself, you took your bags and went straight to the building.

When you got to the front door, you realized that you didn't know what to do; should you knock? Should you just enter the house? Thinking that the second option would be the less appropriate, you decided to just knock, already nervous about who you'd get opening the door.

You waited a few seconds before hearing an echo of someone running though the house, followed by voices and sounds of plates.

"Harry, dear, can you please-

"Hello, Molly...", you smiled to the woman in front of you, "it's been a while..."

She was in complete shock. Her mouth completely open and strangely looking like she was about to pass out.

"Oh Merlin...", she breathes out, "Y/N... It's really you..."

You could see tears starting to form in her eyes, and you felt too weak to stop yours from falling. She opened her arms to you and you didn't hesitate to hug her, instantly starting to sob.

"Let me look at you... Oh my Lord...", she took your face in her hands, rubbing her thumbs on your cheeks, collecting your tears, "You're a grown woman now... I can't believe it... Arthur! Arthur, come here!"

She embraced you again in the warmest motherly hug you've ever received, which only made you sob more.

"What's wrong, mom?", Ron arrived at the door, followed by his sister, Hermione and Arthur, "Who's-

You slowly lift up you head from Molly's shoulder and faced everyone.

"Y/N... You came...", Hermione says, shocked.

"Of course I came..."

Everybody was speechless, not knowing if you were actually real or just a pure product of their imagination. Ginny instantly got towards you, embracing you as warmly as her mother.

"Merlin... How are you?", she asks.

"I'm fine... I'm sorry... I-

"You have nothing to be sorry for, darling...", Mr. Weasley was now the one to hug you.

When he let you go, you looked at the other three people; you couldn't really describe the looks on Harry and Ron's faces, they were visibly shocked, but you couldn't see if they were happy or mad to see you...

"Ronald...", you started to make your way towards him, but quickly, he took a few steps back, "I need to go...", he says, before leaving the room.

You knew it was a fair reaction, he had all the rights to hate you and be upset.

"I'm so sorry...", you sob, "I'm so so sorry..."

Harry put his hand on your shoulder and also embraced you in a warm hug.

You didn't expect the reunion to be this full of emotions, and it wasn't even breakfast's time yet...

Hermione and Ginny helped you with your bags, leading you to Charlie's empty room, the one you always used to stay in whenever you stayed with the Weasleys.

"It hasn't changed a bit...", you say, admiring the house as it was the first time you saw it.

The two girls entered the room and sat on the bed with you, only to stay there in silence hugging you for a moment. As you couldn't believe to actually be there, they couldn't believe it either.

You made a brief resume of what had happened in your life during these 4 years; why you had left, where you were living now, your life with Dean...

"Dean?", Ginny smiled, "Wow... I wasn't expecting that one..."

"Yeah... I hope it's okay though...", you say, embarrassed.

"Don't worry, it's completely fine... Besides...", she stops to lift her hand and wiggle her ring finger, now occupied with a big gemstone.

"Godric! You're joking!", you take her hand, "I mean... Hermione told me about something like this in the letter, but I didn't know it was confirmed!"

"Hermione!", Ginny scolds her.

"Sorry! You know I'm very bad at keeping secrets! I was so excited for you!"

The three of you kept laughing and talking about everything, making you forget about the moment you had been apprehending for the past few days: your first meeting with George.

"Breakfast's ready!", you hear Molly's voice echo through the house, making memories come back to you.

You slowly made your way down the stairs with the girls and when you got to the kitchen, you felt you whole body freeze.

You were feeling like you were about to pass out, but at the same time, you couldn't find yourself making any type of move, you weren't sure if you were still breathing. You felt the weight of the world on your shoulder when you saw the man you had shared so many moments with, and when he turned to face you, you saw his brother.

His body immediately copied yours, not being able to move or say anything, and for a good minute, George and you stood still, staring at each other; and as if you had read each other's mind at the same time, you ran towards each other and crashed in your arms, sobbing like babies. You felt his legs start to lose strength, and you not being able to help him stand, you both let your bodies fall to the ground, still hugging and holding on each other for dear life.

Neither of you had said anything yet, you were both too busy shaking and sobbing to say anything anyways.

The other people in the kitchen didn't say anything either, they just stood there, looking at George and you, knowing that it would be better to not interrupt you and just leave you let your emotions out.

George was obviously was more affected than you were, and you could feel his body tremble with every breath he tried to take.

"I m-missed you... so much...", he managed to say between sobs.

"I missed you too, Georgie...", you keep crying with him.

"W-why... did you... left me..."

"I know... I know... I shouldn't have... I'm so sorry...", you sobbed harder. How could you have done that to him? How could you have left him alone? After everything...

"I'm so sorry, Georgie... So sorry... I missed you so much..."

"Please, tell me you're staying...", he looked at you in the eyes. You could feel his sincerity emane from his body, and you knew he needed you. He needed you as much as you needed him.

"I am staying...", you managed to smile between your tears. George hugged you even tighter than before, crushing your body with his but you didn't care. You'd let him break your whole body if he needed to.

"Georgie... Honey...", you felt Molly's soft presence helping you get up and guiding the both of you to the table. When you sat down, you see that everybody was deeply affected by the scene that just happened; Molly still having tears running down her cheeks and Hermione and Ginny holding onto each other. Even Harry and Ron were on the verge of crying.

You sat down on your chair, George's eyes still on you and your hand in his.

"George, darling..."

You quickly turned your head to the voice behind you.

"Angie...", George got up, almost stumbling on his own feet.

"What is she doing here?", she asks, earning confused looks from everybody.

By the look she had on her face, you knew she wasn't happy to see you. She looked at you with disgust and anger, which was completely fair...

"How dare you?! You filthy little-

"Angie, it's okay... Please, calm down..."

"Calm down?! Look at you! Only her can make you feel that way again!"

"Angelina... I promise I came here to start things over... And do things correctly this time...", you say, tears forming again in your eyes.

"You have NO RIGHTS to be here! After all the damage you caused this family! NO RIGHTS!", she yelled, her eyes almost popping out of her head.

You looked at the people around the table, no one saying anything. Not even Molly was able to form coherent words, she was just there, heavily breathing.

"I'm going to go...", you slowly stand up from your seat, not wanting to make everyone more upset than they already were, "Angelina, I'm sorry..."

She glanced at you in anger, "you shouldn't be here", she spat.

"Y/N, don't leave, please...", George pleaded, eyes red and swollen.

"I'm just going out, I'll be okay, don't worry...", you caressed his arm trying to comfort him, and you could feel Angelina tensing her body at that action, eyes full of fire.

"I'm sorry...", you say before closing the door behind you.

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